Podcasts about body keeps

Jonathan Boyce and Casey Crimmins shed light on the current state of "The Church", and despite some technical difficulties, offer hope and perspective of the coming shifts in religious communities. Interview Links https://www.virginiadixon.com/ondemand (On Demand) https://www.virginiadixon.com/restevents (R.E.S.T.™ Events) https://www.hungertest.com/ (Soul Hunger Quiz ) https://howwelove.com/love-style-quiz (How We Love Online Quiz ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (How We Love by Milan & Kay Yerkovich) https://www.amazon.com/Draw-Circle-Day-Prayer-Challenge/dp/0310327121/ref=sr_1_1?crid=Y1CZKCYV2V7F&keywords=draw+the+circle&qid=1662689727&sprefix=draw%2520the%2520circle%2Caps%2C127&sr=8-1 (Draw the Circle: The 40 Day Prayer Challenge) Where to Find Virginia https://www.virginiadixon.com/ (Website ) https://www.instagram.com/theplaceofrest/ (Instagram) https://www.facebook.com/virginiadixon.rest (Facebook) https://www.linkedin.com/in/virginia-dixon-9497a0206/ (LinkedIn) https://www.virginiadixon.com/collaborate (Donate)

Deanna is a post-master's therapist specializing in trauma. She works with children, teens, and adults from a trauma-informed existential approach. Her movement, The Feeling Theory is all about the idea that we need to feel in order to heal. DeAnna provides a safe space where there are no wrong feelings and people can heal from their trauma by embarking on a unique feeling journey. DeAnna creates psycho-educational videos of TikTok and Instagram where she breaks down evidenced-based therapeutic interventions that individuals can use on themselves to help guide them on their feeling journey. She has published a 30-day abstract mental health journal that is available for purchase, and she is currently working on a surviving emotional abuse seminar and a self-concept master class. Today DeAnna and Emily discuss the effects of emotional abuse and how emotional abuse directly correlates to physical abuse. DeAnna also shares some helpful tips and resources to help those who may be in an emotionally abusive situation. Follow DeAnna Join DeAnna on TikTok Additional Resources Netflix: MAID Purchase: 30 Day Abstract Mental Health Journal ----------------------------------------------------

Not only is Carolyn the author of the book Solo by Choice, but she runs the longest-running blog on solo and small law firm practice.It all began with a website in the early 90s for solo and small firm practitioners. She would go on to focus on legal innovation, woman ownership, and diversity in the legal profession. Now, she's the owner of a national law firm focused on power, pipelines, and property. Carolyn has been quoted in publications like the New York Times, featured in the ABA Journal, and appeared on the Daily Show. Additionally, her book has helped launch thousands of solo and small law firms. In this episode, super lawyer Carolyn shares how she got started before the world wide web was what it is today, how her blog has evolved, and how she is helping so many others start their own law firms.2:43 HTML7:18 about 20 more visitors11:42 advancing diversity and creating new practice areas14:12 try to be very encouraging19:41 opportunity to build and really create something new25:38 clerkships are a really great starter Jim's Hack: Check out the book The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk.Carolyn's Tip: Loom is great for quick content creation. Tyson's Tip: A great key feature that can be found in your Google Workspace account is color coding your calendar.

In this episode, we discuss:How your biography becomes your biologyThe relationship between trauma and addictionRestoring balance to the nervous systemNavigating trauma in relationshipsSpirituality and mindfulnessThe holistic recovery pathSupporting a loved one in addictionMike Govoni has a thriving private practice as a Trauma Informed Recovery Coach where he believes helping people create a feeling of safety and connection within their own body is essential to becoming well and achieve long term recovery. As a person in recovery for over 16 years, Mike has personally walked this path and knows what it takes to not only recover but to heal. He has overcome what he calls "Mount Everest like hurdles" such as childhood trauma, addiction and chronic illness that lead to him having a profound spiritual awakening that he believes was the catalyst to his healing. Mike has extensive experience working in the addiction/recovery field including  supporting three major hospital emergency rooms in Boston for the opioid epidemic as a Recovery Coach helping patients with substance abuse and related complications. .Mike believes in addressing the whole person, not only to achieve greater freedom and abstinence from substances and harmful habits, but to empower clients with tools and resources to meet everyday life with more inner resilience, presence, and ease. Below are links to connect with Mike and learn more about his work:www.mikegovoni.comIG: @mikegovoniBooks mentioned in this episode:The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der KolkWaking the Tiger by Peter LevineThe Myth of Normal by Dr. Gabor MatéHealing systems:Somatic Experiencing by Peter LevineInternal Family Systems by Richard C. Schwartz__For more resources to support your sobriety, including group and 1:1 coaching and guided meditations, visit www.sunandmoonsoberliving.com and be sure to follow @sunandmoon.soberliving on Instagram.Disclaimer: The content of this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. 

내 것이어야 했지만 내 것이 아닐 때 공포를 선사하는 물리적 틀. 00:00:00 --- 1: 오프닝 00:09:53 --- 2: 어찌할 수 없는 거대한 힘 00:16:17 --- 3: 개인적 공포, 사회적 공포 00:26:43 --- 4: 규칙적인 악 00:35:15 --- 5: 얼굴, 이름 00:44:06 --- 6: 오컬트 기생충 00:48:26 --- 7: 마무리 에피소드 관련 링크 00:05:45 --- "The Doors of Perception" by Aldous Huxley --- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Doors_of_Perception 00:08:30 --- 데스노트 --- https://namu.wiki/w/%EB%8D%B0%EC%8A%A4%EB%85%B8%ED%8A%B8 00:08:40 --- Rosemary's Baby (악마의 씨) --- https://namu.wiki/w/%EC%95%85%EB%A7%88%EC%9D%98%20%EC%94%A8 00:23:28 --- "Parasite Rex" (기생충 제국) by Carl Zimmer --- http://www.yes24.com/Product/Goods/1406994 00:49:30 --- "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk --- https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/resources/the-body-keeps-the-score (한국어판: "몸은 기억한다" 베셀 반 데어 콜크 저 --- https://search.shopping.naver.com/book/catalog/32440542483 제가 하는 모든 일은 여기에 정리되어 있습니다. https://hanaim.imaginariumkim.com/ 전체 에피소드 녹취록 https://aimdreaming.imaginariumkim.com/ep-28-신체통제-나를-상실한-몸뚱아리/

Riley Chustz brings practical examples to further illustrate acts of commission/omission and how she discerns what is driving her everyday decisions. Interview Links https://www.virginiadixon.com/ondemand (On Demand) https://www.virginiadixon.com/copy-of-events (R.E.S.T.™ Events ) https://www.hungertest.com/ (Soul Hunger Quiz ) https://howwelove.com/love-style-quiz (How We Love Online Quiz ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (How We Love by Milan & Kay Yerkovich) https://www.amazon.com/Draw-Circle-Day-Prayer-Challenge/dp/0310327121/ref=sr_1_1?crid=Y1CZKCYV2V7F&keywords=draw+the+circle&qid=1662689727&sprefix=draw%2520the%2520circle%2Caps%2C127&sr=8-1 (Draw the Circle: The 40 Day Prayer Challenge) Where to Find Virginia https://www.virginiadixon.com/ (Website ) https://www.instagram.com/theplaceofrest/ (Instagram) https://www.facebook.com/virginiadixon.rest (Facebook) https://www.linkedin.com/in/virginia-dixon-9497a0206/ (LinkedIn) https://www.virginiadixon.com/collaborate (Donate)

  Exploring Trauma - A Review of the Book "The Body Keeps the Score" Josh and Betsy engage a heavy, but extremely important topic in this episode, that of trauma. It's easy to believe that trauma is just about what we can remember with our minds, but ground-breaking new research has shown that trauma is embedded in our physical bodies. Josh and Betsy reflect on the insights of this best-selling, enlightening book. Show Notes: The Body Keeps the Score (book) Suggestions for future episodes? Email us at intersect@nepres.com Intersect Podcast is a ministry of Northeast Presbyterian Church. The views expressed on this podcast are those of Josh and Betsy Desch and are not intended to be presented as the official views of NEPC. Please see our Intersect Podcast landing page for further information.

Can EMDR therapy successfully treat addictions? How does mindfulness impact someone's ability to recover from their addiction? Should a client be sober before beginning EMDR? Get your questions answered by Dr. Stephen Dansiger, EMDR therapist and consultant, MET(T)A Protocol creator and pioneer in the Buddhist recovery field. And, what did Dr. Bessel van der kolk, author of "The Body Keeps the Score," say about how EMDR therapy heals trauma?  SAMHSA National Recovery MonthNational Institute for Creative Mindfulness (Dr. Jamie Marich)Learn more about EMDR therapy at www.emdria.org. EMDRIA Practice ResourcesEMDRIA Online EMDR Therapy Resources (includes Covid-19 resources)EMDRIA's Find an EMDR Therapist Directory provides listings for more than 12,000 EMDR therapists.Read or subscribe to our award-winning blog, Focal Point, an open resource on EMDR therapy.Follow @EMDRIA on Twitter. Connect with EMDRIA on Facebook or subscribe to our YouTube Channel.Musical soundtrack, Acoustic Motivation 11290, supplied royalty-free by Pixabay.

We would be lying if we were to pretend that walking in this world is easy. Sometimes there are no fairytale endings or even happy ones for that matter. Anyone who has walked this earth for long will tell you that life isn't fair and in fact it just plain SUCKS sometimes. Unfortunately, everyone will be touched by trauma at some point in their lives. We can honestly say that we don't know how anyone can make it through this journey without the hope of Jesus. If we try to walk in our own ways we will be swallowed up by the sin nature of the flesh. We are never more at risk for idol worship or addiction when we submit ourselves to our own coping skills before we submit ourselves and bring our problems and our pain straight to God. James 1:2-4 "Consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." Book referenced:“The Body Keeps the Score” - Dr. Bessel Van Der KolkTo learn more about brainspotting or find a trained clinician in your area go to www.brainspotting.com For Q&A and discussion about this and other episodes, like and follow the God Be Crazy podcast Facebook page.Follow us on Instagram:Http://www.instagram.com/godbecrazy Http://www.instagram.com/counselor_on_callHttp://www.instagram.com/kikkipenney Or email us at godbecrazypodcast@gmail.com

My guest today is a long-awaited one, the brilliant Dr. Gabor Maté. A renowned speaker and bestselling author. Dr. Maté is highly sought after for his expertise on a range of topics, including addiction, stress, and childhood development.  We showcase his latest book, The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, & Healing in a Toxic Culture, and the many overlapping layers involved in the wellness/illness/trauma matrix.  The subjects at hand – addiction, trauma, and recovery – are near and dear to my own experience and development as a person. As such, we go deep in this one, perhaps a little too deep for my comfort, personally. But in the end, I think the value to you, the listener, will make any vulnerability I endured worth every minute of it. Don't miss the Off-Grid Homestead Bundle. I've partnered with dozens of fellow creators to put together the ultimate one-stop shop for learning how to start a homestead, go off-grid, and cultivate a sustainable life for you and your family. For a limited time – September 16-25 – get the Off-Grid Homestead Bundle for a wild 99% OFF. That's only $50 for 100+ handpicked courses, available at LukeStorey.com/OffGrid.   00:10:09 — Dr. Maté's Latest Book: The Myth of Normal The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, & Healing in a Toxic Culture Drawing lines between individual experience and cultural impact  Lakota wisdom from Dr. Lewis Mehl-Madrona Great Balls Of Fire! by Jerry Lee Lewis (1957) 00:22:22 — The Role Trauma Plays in Addiction Defining addition and trauma Framing addiction as a solution to a problem  Framing trauma as a wound Fleeing Nazi occupation in 1944 How childhood trauma scars over Unpacking Luke's experience with sexual abuse Into the Magic Shop by James R. Doty MD 00:57:59 — Healing Through the Judicious Use of Psychedelics  Luke's experience reliving his abuse during ceremony What is a trigger vs. the ammunition behind it? Granting ourselves grace  A case of ayawaska recovery from Dr. Maté's book Bill Wilson's experiments with LSD The importance of set and setting   How To Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan Acknowledging the access/privilege factor  Dosed (2019) 01:34:05 — Gratitude for the Process of Recovery Humans as being naturally kind and nurturing vs. hostile Finding your true nature Talk therapy (make it trauma-informed) The story of Eve Ensler Internal Family Systems practice Compassionate Inquiry practice  Wisdom of Trauma (2021) EMDR practice The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, MD What Happened to You? by Oprah Winfrey The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, & Healing in a Toxic Culture Appreciating the work of A.H. Almaas IntraConnected by Daniel J. Siegel, MD Appreciating with work of Bessel van der Kolk, MD The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle   More about this episode. Watch on YouTube.   THIS SHOW IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY: BIOME BREAKTHROUGH. Have you ever wondered why some people get really sick while others have only mild cases? The severity of your illness could be affected by your gut health. Biome Breakthrough is the ONLY formula that can repair compromised gut lining, help it rebuild with the right probiotics and prebiotics, and activate the four critical pathways to super immunity. You can use the code “luke10” for 10% off at www.bioptimizers.com/luke. AND... SLEEPME. Science tells us that the best way to achieve and maintain consistent, deep sleep is by lowering core body temperature. Life Stylist listeners can save on the purchase of any new Cube, OOLER, or Dock Pro Sleep System, and start aiding their sleep routines today. Head to Sleep.me/LukeStorey for 25% off. AND… JOOVV. A new generation of Joovv devices are here and I am stoked. They're sleeker, lighter, easier to set up, and allow you to stand 3x further away from the device while still getting the recommended dosage. There's also a new ambient mode to help you wind down at the end of the day and a recovery mode that will help you rejuvenate after a tough workout. If you are ready to get a new Joovv device, you can get a discount for a limited time over at Joovv.com/luke. AND… ICE BARREL. Now, a cold therapy training tool that makes it easy to bring ice baths into your routine. And apartment-dwellers rejoice, because Ice Barrel is lightweight, portable, and maintenance is super easy. Life Stylist listeners get a super special $125 OFF to try out Ice Barrel, not to mention their 30-Day Money Back Guarantee. Go to IceBarrel.com/Luke and use code LUKE to claim your discount today.   Resources The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, & Healing in a Toxic Culture Hang out with Alyson and me at the Modern Nirvana Conference 2022, September 23rd in Austin, Texas – Use the code LUKEALYSON for 15% off tickets! Are you ready to block harmful blue light, and look great at the same time? Check out Gilded By Luke Storey. Where fashion meets function: gildedbylukestorey.com Join me on Telegram for the uncensored content big tech won't allow me to post. It's free speech and free content: www.lukestorey.com/telegram   Related Episodes Solving the Microdosing Mystery & the 3rd Wave of Psychedelics w/ Paul Austin #400

This week, Yancy virtually sits down with Jimanekia Eborn, a queer Sexual Assault & Trauma Expert. They talk about the power of self-identifying, navigating sexuality as a survivor, how we can show up for ourselves and how we can support our peers.  Don't forget to tag #thatsexcitingpod or @ us to let us know what you think of this week's episode.  Let's keep in touch on social media! Follow your host @yancychery Instagram: @thatsexciting Twitter: @thatsexciting_ Facebook: thatsxciting Email: contact@thatsexciting.co Support & Donate: https://paypal.me/thatsexciting (https://paypal.me/thatsexciting) Follow today's guest  Website: https://traumaqueen.love/ (www.traumaqueen.love)  Instagram: @jimanekia Twitter: @jimanekia  Ressources mentioned:  Books: The Tao of Trauma by Alaine D. Duncan, Kathy L. Kain http://shorturl.at/qrUX2 (shorturl.at/qrUX2) What Happened to You? By Oprah Winfrey & Bruce D. Perry http://shorturl.at/kmPX8 (shorturl.at/kmPX8 ) The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. http://shorturl.at/dNRS3 (shorturl.at/dNRS3) TRE stretching exercices: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFV0FfMc_uo&t=42s (Vagus Nerve Reset To Release Trauma Stored In The Body (Polyvagal Exercises) - YouTube) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26zoFKZzbQc&t=10s (TRE, Trauma Releasing Exercises - YouTube) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67R974D8swM&t=112s (TRE® : Tension and Trauma Releasing Exercises, an Introduction with Jessica Schaffer - YouTube)

Where to find Michelle Lyons:IG: michellelyons_muliebritywww.CelebrateMuliebrity.comGet Lindsey's 9 page OTs Map to the World of Pelvic Health.Meet Lindsey on the OTs for Pelvic Health Facebook Group!Check Out More OT Pelvic Health Content here.Find Lindsey on IG! @functionalpelvisBooks that Michelle mention in the this epsiode:The Body Keeps the ScoreWhy Did No One Tell Me?Beating EndoThe IC Solution

Virginia asks Riley Chustz, a guest featured in our Addictions series, about her stages of healing and the realizations necessary to embark on this particular journey. Interview Links https://www.virginiadixon.com/ondemand (On Demand) https://www.virginiadixon.com/copy-of-events (R.E.S.T.™ Events ) https://www.hungertest.com/ (Soul Hunger Quiz ) https://howwelove.com/love-style-quiz (How We Love Online Quiz ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (How We Love by Milan & Kay Yerkovich) https://www.amazon.com/Draw-Circle-Day-Prayer-Challenge/dp/0310327121/ref=sr_1_1?crid=Y1CZKCYV2V7F&keywords=draw+the+circle&qid=1662689727&sprefix=draw%2520the%2520circle%2Caps%2C127&sr=8-1 (Draw the Circle: The 40 Day Prayer Challenge) Where to Find Virginia https://www.virginiadixon.com/ (Website ) https://www.instagram.com/theplaceofrest/ (Instagram) https://www.facebook.com/virginiadixon.rest (Facebook) https://www.linkedin.com/in/virginia-dixon-9497a0206/ (LinkedIn) https://www.virginiadixon.com/collaborate (Donate)

This relationship truth will change your life, and it might be hard to hear. It is not them, it's you. Why do we unconsciously sabotage our relationships? Why would we try to sabotage our chances of a fulfilling relationship? No one sets out to do this, and yet self sabotage is the #1 problem Jillian helps people with in their love loves. In this episode, Jillian also describes the role of stress in a relationship and how we can destroy connection without even realizing it. She'll also teach what you can do about it. Additional resources for dealing with trauma and building more fulfilling relationships: "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma" by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D. "Supersurvivors: The Surprising Link Between Suffering and Success" by David B. Feldman and Lee Daniel Kravetz "Living Untethered: Beyond the Human Predicament" by Michael A. Singer "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert" by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver ~~ Follow the show on Instagram: @jillianonlove Email the show at hello@jillianonlove.com Find Resources mentioned in the show at the Jillian on Love Recommendations Follow Jillian Turecki on Instagram: @jillianturecki Tik Tok: @jillian.turecki Twitter: @JillianTurecki Visit her website at www.jillianturecki.com ~~ Jillian On Love is brought to you by QCODE.  To advertise on the show, contact us!

“The Body Keeps the Score” was a suggestion from the first Therapist I spoke to after my panic attack. This episode is my way of sharing Dr. Van Der Kolk's amazing work and how I think others like me can benefit from his research and the shared stories within the book.

I've made it one year as a podcaster! This is such an accomplishment for me and I'm excited to see the progress I've made. I can't wait to bring you along as I continue to write blog posts, podcast episodes, and expand into building my brand.    Key Takeaways:    [4:41] Where I started with the podcast  [8:22] Where I'm going next with the podcast  [12:16] Being told I'm playing the victim  [15:20] I love getting feedback from my listeners  [17:17] The negative comments I've gotten since having Jack [23:36] Working to finalize the MollyB Foundation   [25:56] Season 3 and dealing with trauma  [29:04] Season 4, parenting, and the struggles  [32:15] Getting momentum going with the podcast and blog [34:29] Thinking about the future of my business  [35:59] CrossFit is my community that keeps me going  [39:35] I don't want to repeat my life and moving forward  [42:33] Meeting more entrepreneurs and learning about business  [44:37] My goals and where I'm headed  Resources:   Hate article written about me  The Body Keeps the Score Shenanigans Podcast  Jace Apollo Creative Judy B Web Studio Connect with Barb:   Website   Facebook    Instagram   YouTube   The Molly B Foundation

I really do believe that we do have all of the answers within us if we allow the space, more of the feminine energy to come in, and welcome more of the quietness. So, seeing the space in between is really beautiful. It's like where time collapses because time is this funny, human concept but everything just slows down and you can process everything that's within you in the moment. - Dr. Jin Ong Are You Stressed Out Lately? Take a deep breath with the M21™ wellness guide: a simple yet powerful 21 minute morning system that melts stress and gives you more energy through 6 science-backed practices and breathwork. Click HERE to download for free. Is Your Energy Low? Get more superfoods to improve your energy, digestion, gut health plus also reduce inflammation and blood sugar. Click HERE to try Paleovalley's Apple Cider Vinegar Complex + Save 15% with the code 'JOSH' *Review The WF Podcast & WIN $150 in wellness prizes! *Join The Facebook Group Wellness + Wisdom Episode 465 Professionally trained as an osteopath, psychosomatic therapist, western medical acupuncturist, and herbalist, Dr. Jin Ong, shares the art of listening to your body, how to integrate both the masculine and feminine energies, how to heal the relationship you have with your younger self, how to develop the courage to set healthy boundaries and say, "No," and a warning about the dark side of the Free Birth Movement. How can your triggers become your biggest teachers? By the end of this episode, you will understand what it means to "see the space in between" and how you can finally get to a point where you can process your emotions and traumas. Shop the BEST Organic Snacks at PaleoValley Save 15% with the code 'JOSH' PaleoValley's 100% Grass-Fed Beef Sticks Paleovalley 100% Grass Fed Beef Sticks are the only beef sticks in the USA made from 100% grass fed/grass finished beef and organic spices that are naturally fermented. Their 100% Grass Fed Beef Sticks are unlike anything else on the market. In fact, they were recently voted in Paleo Magazine as one of the top snacks of the year. The reason is that they are committed to making the highest quality, clean products that are free from problematic ingredients. Their beef comes from 100% grass fed cows raised entirely on natural grass pastures by family farmers right here in the USA. As a result they are healthy and happy. PaleoValley's Pasture-Raised Turkey Sticks Paleovalley Pasture-Raised Turkey Sticks were created to make healthy snacking easier. Their turkey sticks are made from turkeys who are allowed to live as nature intended... on organic grass pastures with plenty of sunshine, fresh air and room to exercise. The result of raising turkeys in such a natural way is a much healthier, clean protein with higher levels of vitamins, minerals, and omega-3s. Unfortunately, virtually all turkey in the USA is conventionally raised with a small portion being "free range" – a virtually meaningless term that simply means the turkeys were allowed access to the outdoors. However, most "free range" turkeys only have access to an outdoor dirt field with no pasture in sight. Their truly pasture-raised turkeys are given full access to outdoor, pesticide-free pasture with plenty of grass and insects for them to nibble on. Listen To Episode 465 As Dr. Jin Ong Uncovers: [1:30] The Art of Listening to Your Body Dr. Jin Ong The Art of Listening to Your Body Podcast What exactly a cathartic release practitioner does and her training as an osteopath, herbalist, and acupuncturist for New Zealand and Australian patients. Questions people have about catharsis and why some people feel uncomfortable about the release. Why she's moving away from the title of cathartic release practitioner and calling herself a psychosomatic therapist and emotional anatomy practitioner. The history interpretation process that she took Josh through in their 1-1 session and what came from it. Her knowledge of the doshas, chakra, and Ayurvedic healing modalities. How she helps clients find out which emotions have been stored in their bodies and how to release them. Explaining where exactly the voice of our body comes from within ourselves. How we can better tune inwards when we allow the feminine voice within to come forward by spending time alone in a quiet area. Why verbal dialect is so important for releasing trapped emotions because of the vibration and frequency it carries. [14:15] The Importance of Both Our Masculine + Feminine Energies How the masculine + hustle and bustle energy in this world is causing so many people to create sideways energy from within. We shouldn't label masculine or feminine energy as good or bad because we need both. The cause of why so many people end up focusing more on being in their masculine rather than feminine selves plus the imbalance that creates within. How the masculine energy helped lead Dr. Jin to where she is now with her career. Why the feminine energy allows us to become our fully embodied selves. Her struggle listening to her feminine energy, and intuition to embody her work. The health issues that came up for Dr. Jin when she wasn't expressing herself through her feminine energy. Explaining what ends up blocking our inner voice from being heard. [18:00] Healing Through Conversations with Our Younger Selves Why we find it so hard to trust even our heart and intuition. The fact that some of the most beautiful life experiences happen from challenges and growth. The younger selves conversations that she teaches people to have with their inner child and why they are so important. Dr. Jin's own turning point and healing journey when she was experiencing multiple skin issues. The thousands of dollars she was spending on to heal her skin and then came to realize her actions were a dysfunctional behavior pattern trying to control external issues to heal her inner pain. What she needed to unlearn from her medical education as an osteopath to know what she knows now. The fact that all of the hives on her body were all over her joint lines and why that was significant to help her heal. How she uses her skin as a barometer to know when she is out of alignment. [25:00] Developing the Courage to Say, 'No' Breaking down why we struggle as a society to have the courage to say, 'No,' and set up healthy boundaries for our time and energy. The work she does to constantly teach and remind her clients how to say, 'No,' and that it's a full sentence - they don't have to explain why they're denying a request. Why it can be triggering to set healthy boundaries and that's why you have to know yourself so well including your values so that you can stay grounded in your decisions. Her journey of healing from being a constant high perfectionist with her Asian heritage and background. How parents can help their children heal and learn good behaviors by being good role models for them. [29:00] Seeing the Space in Between + The Four Milestones The Space Inbetween episode - The Art of Listening to Your Body Podcast What it means to see 'the space in between' when people get to the point where they're able to process their emotions and trauma. Viktor Frankl What the four milestones are that she sees her clients go through and how she breaks down each one. How being attentive and present to our emotions and triggers are the first steps for healing them. Unpacking why our deepest triggers are actually an invitation for us to heal.  The fact that even when you find your purpose or spark in life, challenges will still be present but you will know that they're there to help you grow. 311 Mark Wolynn | It Didn't Start With You: Ending The Cycle of Inherited Trauma 366 Mark Wolynn | How To Heal Generational Trauma: The Thoughts, Feelings, Patterns & Behaviors Formed Before You Were Ever Born Why she tries to turn people off from the work to actually make sure that they really want to do it. Signs that someone is truly ready to dive in and do the deep inner work. Why group work can be triggering for some people compared to 1-1 guidance with someone like Dr. Jin. [41:50] Healing Traumatic Birthing Experiences The importance of counselors and coaches learning how to ask their clients better questions. Questions Dr. Jin asks her clients to help them explore their minds and tap into their body wisdom. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma by Peter Levine Why it is so important to find the right therapist or group that makes you feel comfortable especially if you are healing from physical or sexual abuse. The beauty of being in an open environment where you can openly share. Unpacking why we sometimes seek permission to share our feelings or experiences. Why exploring uncomfortable topics is so important for the healing process and not welcoming that can halt discovery for months or years. The birth experience Josh and Carrie had for Novah and why things didn't work out as they had planned. How a traumatic or emergency birth experience or having the umbilical cord wrapped around their neck can impact people later on in life. Why Dr. Jin believes it's key for parents to have not only a birth plan in mind but some flexibility and adaptability as well to help their experience in advance. How she works with people about their birthing experience if that is something they're working on healing. Why people will naturally project their birthing experiences onto other people when discussing someone else's pregnancy. How to set up healthy boundaries when someone is telling you negative stories or frightening things they feel you should know about right then and there. Why it's key for parents to be aware of their energy and emotion when they tell their child about their birthing story. [51:30] A Warning About The Free Birth Movement The pressure and emotions of shame many women are facing with the Free Birth movement to have a natural birth but in an extreme scenario like being alone by a lake. Carrie and Josh's personal experience feeling pressure from others in the Free Birth movement when deciding on how to bring Novah into the world. Why no woman should feel shame for having a C-Section or seeking out medical attention if and when they need it. How dogmatic camps and beliefs can shift so quickly when the tables are turned. Why we can experience karma when we have very high expectations for something like a birth. The powerful fact that it's never too late to do the work, before or after you become a parent. How we can go so deeply into a masculine mode when not just raising a child but also essentially keeping it alive. Why Josh believes that some people from the Free Birth movement are indeed doing beautiful work helping women such as the organization, Indie Birth. Indie Birth [58:10] Emotional Intelligence Training for Men: During Partner's Pregnancy + Post-Partum Josh's disappointment in one of the popular Free Birth organizations for not providing any resources or support for fathers in the natural birthing process. Exploring different emotional training tools for men to help them support their partner during their pregnancy and post-partum experiences. Why women can have a traumatic birthing experience when they don't feel that they're receiving the support they need from their partner. How Dr. Jin's partner was present with her during the pregnancy by doing things together like meditation or reading the same books. What hypnobirthing is and why she recommends other couples read up about it as well. Hypnobirthing: A Natural Approach To A Safe, Easier, More Comfortable Birthing by Marie Mongan MEd MHy Important discussions she and her partner had when planning the birth of their child including taking into account that he has anxiety about hospitals. How to embrace the crown chakra and the qualities as well as emotions that it governs. What you can do to let go of old belief systems by asking yourself if you can be open to evolving and being curious. How to shift your mindset from "Why is this happening to me," to "Why is this happening for me." What wellness and living your life well means to Dr. Jin with all of her life and work experience. Power Quotes From The Show Have You Forgotten to Trust Your Heart? "Upbringing, conditioning, belief systems, the business of the masculine world, and getting stuck in the logical mind rather than trusting your heart block the body's voice from being heard. That is why having conversations with our younger selves is so important to help you come back home to yourself. In our pain, we often don't believe that it can get any better but yes; when have those deep, darker times it can make the high stuff feel even higher." - Dr. Jin Ong The Many Layers of Our Soul "I want people to know that there are so many layers to who they are. You ask one question and there are so many different perspectives and layers. Be and stay curious on your wellness path. There will be people who want to shut you down and stop you from growing but someone out there is going to be your support and help answer your questions to open up this wellness pathway even wider for you. Come back to that deeper inner trust and your intuition but communicate; use your voice if you're able to do so." - Dr. Jin Ong Dr. Jin Ong: Our Darkest Corners Hold the Greatest Lessons "So many people are under this illusion that when you connect with your purpose that your life is just going to flow and be free of challenges but that's not true. Instead, you learn to embrace the challenges and know and trust that there is a lesson in each one that will help you grow. I believe that we have these recurring things that happen and they can play out in our intimate relationships, our family, and at the workplace in different shapes, ways, and forms because there is a lesson there that we are yet to recognize. So, if we're willing to go in deep and be aware and get curious about our triggers, there definitely are deeper lessons that are linked to the interaction and reaction." - Dr. Jin Ong Links From Today's Show  The Art of Listening to Your Body Podcast with Dr. Jin Ong The Space Inbetween episode - The Art of Listening to Your Body Podcast Viktor Frankl 311 Mark Wolynn | It Didn't Start With You: Ending The Cycle of Inherited Trauma 366 Mark Wolynn | How To Heal Generational Trauma: The Thoughts, Feelings, Patterns & Behaviors Formed Before You Were Ever Born The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma by Peter Levine Indie Birth Hypnobirthing: A Natural Approach To A Safe, Easier, More Comfortable Birthing by Marie Mongan MEd MHy How Your Doshas Change Through Life And A Secret To Health Two Phases Of Discomfort Is Catharsis Fragmenting? Shop the Wellness Force Store breathwork.io Paleovalley – Save 15% on your ACV Complex with the code ‘JOSH' Seeking Health - Save 10% with the code 'JOSH' Organifi – Special 20% off to our listeners with the code ‘WELLNESSFORCE' Drink LMNT – Zero Sugar Hydration: Get your free LMNT Sample Pack, you only cover the cost of shipping Botanic Tonics – Save 40% when you use the code ‘WELLNESS40' Essential Oil Wizardry: Save 10% with the code 'WELLNESSFORCE' Cured Nutrition – Get 15% off of your order when you visit wellnessforce.com/cured + use the code ‘WELLNESSFORCE' M21 Wellness Guide Wellness Force Community Leave Wellness Force a review on iTunes Dr. Jin Ong Facebook Instagram Spotify YouTube About Dr. Jin Ong A reformed procrastinator and perfectionist, mum to one lotus birth baby, indoor plant addict, clinic owner, therapist, dabbler in all sorts of projects, and a desires-driven manifestor. Jin Ong is a professionally trained as an osteopath, psychosomatic therapist, western medical acupuncturist and herbalist living in the beautiful lakeside town of Wanaka, New Zealand. Having treated thousands of clients in her clinics, she soon became fed-up treating with her clinical skills alone. She wasn't seeing the results she'd hoped for. Deep down, she knew her client's pain (not only physical) was a manifestation of their emotional state. They were dealing with hidden trauma and stress they'd never spoken about, which impacted the ability of their physical and emotional body to heal. Their body was speaking to them, but they weren't listening. They had an emotional disconnect. How Dr. Jin Ong Helps People Heal Based on a client's pain, injury, mental imbalance or behavioural dysfunction, Jin tapped into her intuition and started interpreting the deeper emotional issues at play. Not only could she bring awareness to the issues her clients were previously unaware of, she started facilitating her clients through a process to help them release these stored emotions to truly liberate them of their pain physically and mentally. After a pandemic hit and her clinics had to shut down, fear drove her to do what she was really passionate about. To train other therapists in her methods and processes as well as work with people all around the world at a deeper level to create profound shifts in their life and realign them with their soul purpose. She loves to dig deep, speak about the unspoken, and help people process unresolved emotions that hold them back from living the life they truly want.

Have you ever had a spontaneous dance party in your living room or got down with your bad self when your favorite song came on the radio? Have you noticed how different you feel afterwards? Your body is like a highway for energy, and that energy wants to move!Today, we're talking with Shannon McAlister about the power of Somatic Dancing and Healing. She learned to calm her nervous system and stop old patterns in their tracks through somatic healing techniques.In this episode, you'll learn:Somatic Dancing & Healing: moving energy as you move your bodyWhat somatic means and the difference between somatic dancing and somatic healingKnowing when it's time to get up and move your bodyShannon is a Soul Expansion + Somatic Coach helping women tap into their soul expression through somatic practices & self-discovery. She is on a mission to help women answer their soul's calling and truly express themselves. Through Somatic Dancing, women begin to quiet their inner critic and step into their soul gifts while learning to connect back to their body - all while learning to tune out the static noise of the world so they can hear and feel their own voice and energy again.RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODEShannon mentions two books in this episode. They are: The Body Keeps the Score and The Emotion Code.Want $200 off Shannon's 4-month coaching package? Visit www.therebelsouljourney.com/11-coaching and use the coupon “GUTSY” at checkout.Take the Power Leak Quiz at lauraaura.com/powerleakquiz and identify where you may be unintentionally giving away your power - which is often the answer to “what am I missing?” and the biggest growth opportunity in your business.CONNECT WITH SHARON MCALISTERInstagram: @therebelsouljourneyTikTok: @therebelsouljourneyFacebook: @therebelsoulmamaWebsite: therebelsouljourney.comTHANK YOU, GUTSY TRIBE!We love, love, love to read your comments, feedback, and reviews. If you haven't yet, drop us one below! Your review might even get highlighted within one of our gutsy love posts or on our website.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-gutsy-podcast.Support the show

Do you deal with chronic pain? Have you ever been told it might be mind/body syndrome or Neuroplastic? In this episode, I share insights from 3 incredible books that helped me to change the way I experience pain in my life. The three books are: The Body is Not An Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor, The Way Out by Alan Gordon,  and The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk. I credit my healing neuroplastic hip and ankle pain to the coaching I received from my mentor Betsy Jensen. If you are having chronic neuroplastic pain, book a chat with me to talk about how I can help you heal the way you're relating to your pain here: https://calendly.com/shelbykhansen/45minwww.shelbykhansen.com

Summary:  In this episode, we review the many ways we fail to love ourselves, through self-hatred and through indifference toward ourselves.  We discuss the ways that unlove for self manifests itself, contrasting a lack of love with ordered self-love through the lens of Bernard Brady's five characteristics of love.  We discuss the impact of a lack of self-love on your body.  I then invite you into an experiential exercise to get to know a part of you that is not loving either another part of you or your body.   Lead-In “Mourn not the dead that in the cool earth lie--Dust unto dust--The calm, sweet earth that mothers all who dieAs all men must; Mourn not your captive comrades who must dwell--Too strong to strive--Within each steel-bound coffin of a cell,Buried alive; But rather mourn the apathetic throng--The cowed and the meek--Who see the world's great anguish and its wrongAnd dare not speak!”― Ralph Chaplin, Bars And Shadows Intro I am Dr. Peter Malinoski, clinical psychologist and passionate Catholic and this is the Interior Integration for Catholics Podcasts, coming to you from the Souls and Hearts Studio in Indianapolis, Indiana.   This podcast is all about bringing you the best of psychology and human formation and harmonizing it with the perennial truths of the Catholic Faith.  In this Interior Integration for Catholics podcast, we take the most important human formation issues head on, without trepidation, without hesitation -- we don't mince words as we directly address with the most important concerns in the natural realm, the absolute central issues that we need to address with all of our energy and all of our resources.   We have been working through a series on trauma and well-being -- starting with episode 88.  In the last episode, episode 96, I Am a Rock: How Trauma Hardens us Against Being Loved -- we discussed the impact of trauma on us accepting love from others, including God.   In this episode, we're addressing how trauma sets us up to refuse to love ourselves.  Welcome to Episode 97 of Interior Integration for Catholics, titled "Unlove of Self:  How Trauma Predisposes You to Self-Hatred and Indifference"  It's released on September 5, 2022.   It is so good to be with you, thank you for listening in and for being together with me once again.  I'm glad we are here and that we are exploring the great unlove of self.   The great unlove for self -- like the uncola ads from 7-UP in the late 60s throughout the 70s and 80, even into the late 90s. What does unlove of self mean -- OK, I get it that it's refusing to love myself -- but what does that mean?   You might tell me that if I don't love myself, then I am hating myself.   All right.  Let's go with that.  Let's explore self-hatred and self-loathing  Define self-hatred Self-hatred is hatred directed toward oneself rather than toward others  Verywellmind.com article titled "Self-loathing" by Jodi Clarke, a licensed professional counselor  Self-loathing, or self-hatred, is extreme criticism of oneself. It may feel as though nothing you do is good enough or that you are unworthy or undeserving of good things in life. Self-hate can feel like having a person following you around, all day every day, criticizing you and pointing out every flaw, or shaming you for every mistake.   Brennan Manning  In my experience, self-hatred is the dominant malaise crippling Christians and stifling their growth in the Holy Spirit. Not sure I agree with that -- depends on the definitions.  Shame and the fear of shame overwhelming the self are such drivers of self hatred.   Angel Ploetner, Who Am I? Dissociative Identity Disorder Survivor “Shame plays a huge part in why you hate who you are.” Shame is so central  Check out episodes 37 to 49 of this podcast for a whole series on shame.    Eric Hoffer It is not love of self but hatred of self which is at the root of the troubles that afflict our world. Basil W. Maturin  We never get to love by hate, least of all by self-hatred.  Lori Deschene  “We can't hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love.” The primary way we hate ourselves -- for parts of you to hate other parts of you.  I am talking about intra-psychic hatred.  Hatred within you, for you, by you.   IFS description of the self Reference Episode 71: A New and Better Way of Understanding Myself and Others  Definition of Parts:  Parts are like separate, independently operating personalities within you, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in your life, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  Each part also has a different attitude or position toward other parts of you and different beliefs and assumptions about your body.  Robert Falconer calls these parts insiders.   Like in the movie Inside Out.  Your parts have different roles within your self-system.   Your parts have a very narrow, limited vision when they are not in right relationship with your innermost self.  Each of your parts usually has a strong agenda, something that they trying to accomplish, some good that that part is seeking for you.    Polarizations  Examples of polarizations in the most recent weekly reflection -- The Counterfeits of Self-Giving from August 31,2022.  How parts get polarized around the idea of giving of self Compliant surrenderer vs. feisty protector  Self-sacrificer vs. rebel  Check that out.   Bessel van der Kolk, in his excellent book "The Body Keeps the Score" devotes all of chapter 17 to Internal Family Systems.  Very accessible book, I've recommended it before to many non-clinicians.  There's a reason it has been the top selling book on trauma for the last seven years running.  A book like that comes around once in a generation.  In 1992, It was Judith Herman's seminal book Trauma and Recovery.  23 years later, it was The Body Keeps the Score.   To examine Unlove, we are going to contrast unloving with loving.  Let's review the five general characteristics of love -- from Bernard Brady, his 2003 Christian Love: How Christians through the Ages have Understood Love.-- drawing heavily from the work of Christian phenomenologists.  I introduced his five characteristics of in Episode 94, The Primacy of Love and I expanded on them in Episode 95 Trauma's Devastating Impact on our Capacity to Love.  Love is affective, love is affirming, love is responsive, love is unitive, love is steadfast.  Those are the five characteristics of love that Bernard Brady distilled from his historical review of how Christians have seen love through the ages.  Love is affective, love is affirming, love is responsive, love is unitive, love is steadfast.  So let's break down what happens when one part of you is hating another part of you.   Love is affective -- love is emotional Love rejoices in the beloved -- Protestant Theologian R.H. Neibuhr writes in his 1977  By love, we mean at least these attitudes and actions: rejoicing in the presence of the beloved, gratitude, reverence, and loyalty toward him.  p.35   Many positive emotions are associated with love Delight, Bliss, Happiness  A sense of fulfillment  Warmth, appreciation   What does hatred or loathing for another part look like?  How do parts hate each other? Self hatred is also affective -- it's also emotional.  But in a very different way that ordered self-love is.   Disgust regarding the another part  Anger toward another part  Contempt for the body -- anger + disgust = contempt  Example:  Let's say there is a fearful part of you that is very frightened of public speaking – of making presentations in front of other people. And now, for your work, you are required to make an important presentation in front of your supervisors and more senior executives within your company. Another part of you, your perfectionistic part, has led you to rehearse your presentation, to the point where you almost have it memorized. Your last performance in front of your bedroom mirror was so good. But now, in front of your audience, your fearful part locks you up. You find yourself stuttering, stammering, and your inner critic is a railing in hatred against your fearful part. That inner critic is saying things like, "Why are you such a sniveling frightened little coward? It's just a simple presentation, dumb ass, we've practiced it over and over, we have it down.  Get yourself together, this is really important, and you are screwing it up and making us all look bad.  Who knows what will happen if we can't pull this off." The more intense your inner critic gets in its hateful attack on your fearful part, the more the fearful part freezes.  After the presentation ends, the inner critic continues to bash the fearful part, ruminating about how poor the presentation was.   Love is affirming Love says yes to the other at the same time as love says yes to oneself.  In parts thinking, there is a open-hearted yes to all the parts.  Not just some parts, not just the "acceptable" parts of us.  All part are welcome to the table.   In self-hatred, one or more parts attack the unloved part -- not just superficially, but they hating parts go after the identity of the unloved part the self-hating parts want to destroy the hated part, or at least banish the hated part from having a voice, from having a seat at the table  In our example, you can see how the inner critic is trying to get rid of the fearful part, trying to suppress that part with its fear.    From Jodi Clarke's Verywellmind.com article:  Typical self-hating thoughts may include:     "I knew we would fail."       "Why do I even try?"     "I'm a loser."     "No one wants to be around me."     "Look at me screwing up again."     "Can't I just be normal?"     "I hate myself." Richard Bach   The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what we think. We do this because we're afraid.  When other people affirm the person who is dominated by a self-hating part, the affirmation doesn't really sink in.  It doesn't work.  The person all caught up in self hatred can't hear the affirmation, can't take the affirmation in.  Richey Edwards  “People say to the mentally ill, ‘You know so many people think the world of you.' But when they don't like themselves they don't notice anything. They don't care about what people think of them. When you hate yourself, whatever people say it doesn't make sense. ‘Why do they like me? Why do they care about me?' Because you don't care about yourself at all.”   Love is responsive:  Love is an active response for the well-being of the other.  It's about participating in the promotion of the highest good for the other, potential for the other How can I help you to flourish?  How can I help you toward your highest good?   In self-hatred one or more parts tear down the hated part.  There is a response to the hated part, but it's not a positive one.   Rather than attuning to the hated part, the hating parts seek to silence it and suppress it without really getting to know the hated part.  Not interested in the hated part's experience -- why the hated part thinks, feels or assumes what it does.   In our example, the inner critic is responsive to the fear of the fearful part, but in hateful way -- seeing the fearful part as counterproductive and threatening the wellbeing of the whole person, and thus feels justified in the bullying, heavy-handed approach taken.   Love is unitive  Bernard Brady:  The fruit of love is unity.  Love unites.  It is in the very nature of love to bring together.  p. 279 Hatred divides.  It polarizes within.  The fearful part and the inner critic have no common ground because of the hatred.   Hatred fragments within.  It shatters the self.  Order self love helps to integrate all the parts, providing space for all parts to be seen, heard known, and loved. Love integrates parts, inviting them into a collaborative, cooperative relationship with the innermost self and with all the other parts.  We give this internal unity a special name -- interior integration.  That is what this podcast is all about.  Interior integration for Catholics.   Love is steadfast Steadfastness in self-love requires acceptance of all parts for there to be resilience.  Hatred contributes to the inner system of the self being brittle and fragile.     Hatred doesn't generally come from our innermost selves  Self:  The natural core of the person, the center of the person in the natural realm.  This is who we sense ourselves to be in our best moments, and when our self is free, and unblended with any of our parts, it governs our whole being as an active, compassionate leader.  Unharmed by trauma, by attachment injuries, by relational wounds, by negative life experiences.   Catholics don't believe in John Calvin's concept of total depravity, that we are sinful and morally corrupt through and through.  Catholics don't believe we are snow-covered dung heaps, like Martin Luther taught.  We are still ontologically good, still made in the image and likeness of God.   We want to be recollected, we want the self governing all of our parts Like the conductor -- leading the musicians in an orchestra Like the captain -- leading and governing all the sailors on a ship.   When we are recollected, in self, 8 C's Calm  Curiosity  Compassion  Confidence  Courage  Clarity  Connectedness  Creativity   We also have the capacity for kindness The only exception:  unless we've committed the unforgivable sin, blaspheming against the Holy Spirit  CCC 1864:  “There are no limits to the mercy of God, but anyone who deliberately refuses to accept his mercy by repenting, rejects the forgiveness of his sins and the salvation offered by the Holy Spirit. Such hardness of heart can lead to final impenitence and eternal loss” (No. 1864). Repudiating life, love, truth, mercy, forgiveness -- irrevocably, through hardness of heart.  That is possible, or Jesus would not have warned against it.  Walking dead.   What does self-hatred mean for our relationships with our body? We are body and soul composites.  We are embodied beings.   Bessel van der Kolk:  The Body Keeps the Score -- groundbreaking work summarizing how much trauma becomes embodied  Another way for you to hate yourself  -- or more specifically, for a part of you to hate your body.   Examples of actively hating the body  Active examples 4 Extreme cases -- starting with extreme cases -- Suicidal Acts, Body Dysmporphic Disorder, Body Integrity Identity Disorder, Self-Harm (aka Self-mutilation).   Suicidal acts -- I did a whole series on suicide in this Interior Integration for Catholics podcast.  Episodes 76-80 Suicidal part -- desperately seeking relief from intense pain and distress   Other Reason -- these are the core reasons. -- review them in episode 76 and got into how parts are active around suicide in episode 78 The Desperate Inner Experience of Suicidality  Attachment needs not met -- Episode 62 A felt sense of safety and protection, deep sense of security felt in the bones  Feeling seen and known heard and understood -- felt attunement  Felt comfort, reassurance  Feeling valued, delighted in, cherished by the attachment figure  Felt support for the best self   Integrity Needs not met All of the above.  Each one of us needs help to develop our sense of self, our identity  I exist  my existence is separate from others --  I exist in my own right, a separate personIs bounded, has boundaries  My identity is stable over time and across different situations -- there is a continuity  I can regulate myself -- I have some self-control.   Is integrated -- coherent interconnections inside between aspects of experience -- self-cohesion  Is active, with agency, can effectively function in the world  Is morally good -- ontologically or essentially good and thus has intrinsic value and worth, apart from others' opinions.   I can make sense of my experience and the world around me  Mission and Purpose in life  We also need to make good choices -- seek what is good, true and beautiful in life   Body dysmorphic disorder   Appearance preoccupations: The individual must be preoccupied with one or more nonexistent or slight defects or flaws in their physical appearance. Verbally abusing the body Body shaming yourself -- a part of you calling your body fat, ugly, physically unattractive, calling your body out on the perceived unattractive features -- my eyes are too far apart, my lips are too thin, my skin is too bumpy, and what about that zit that just appeared.   Repetitive behaviors: The individual must perform repetitive, compulsive behaviors in response to the appearance concerns.  Behaviors: mirror checking, excessive grooming, skin picking, reassurance seeking, or clothes changing.  mental acts such as a part of you comparing one's appearance with that of other people.   -- getting on tiktok and saying, that person's body is so gorgeous and I'm a just a pig.  Ruminating about what others have said about your body or what they might say about your body.  Sometimes it's all just in the realm of fantasy.   Differentiation from an eating disorder: Body Integrity Identity Disorder (BIID) is a rare, infrequently studied and highly secretive condition in which there is a mismatch between the mental body image and the physical body. Subjects suffering from BIID have an intense desire to amputate a major limb or severe the spinal cord in order to become paralyzed or to become blind or deaf. Self-harm  or self-mutilation, sometimes called cutting Really not understood well by most people -- dismissed as something only a crazy person would do.   It's a symptom.   Forms include Cutting  Burning or branding, scalding with hot water  Picking at the skin, reopening wounds or severe scratching  Carving the skin  Trichotillomania   Head banging Hitting oneself Biting oneself Self-poisoning Self-starvation (deliberate) Getting into fights Reasons for Self Harm  The Punished Self, the Unknown Self, and the Harmed Self – Toward a More Nuanced Understanding of Self-Harm Among Adolescent Girls -- August 2021 Frontiers in Psychology Norwegian researcher Line Indrevoll Stänicke1 -- Qualitative Study of 19 adolescent girls  Superordinate themes “I deserve pain,”  “I don't want to feel anything,”  “I'm harmed, and no one cares.”  “I deserve pain,”  “I don't want to feel anything,”  “I'm harmed, and no one cares.”  8 Reasons for Self-harm Desire to release unbearable tension or providing relief from overwhelming emotions  At times [self-harm] also silenced the chaos in my head, briefly pausing the repetitive flashbacks and body memories."  Desire to regain control  Fighting depersonalization -- "Self-harm proved to me I was real, I was alive.  (mind.org.uk)   Numbness can feel like death -- need to feel anything at all.   Self-hatred  Feeling the need to self-punish "I hated my body and blamed it for what I'd been through, so felt it needed punishing. (mind.org.uk) Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia   “I wanted to kill the me underneath. That fact haunted my days and nights. When you realize you hate yourself so much, when you realize that you cannot stand who you are, and this deep spite has been the motivation behind your behavior for many years, your brain can't quite deal with it. It will try very hard to avoid that realization; it will try, in a last-ditch effort to keep your remaining parts alive, to remake the rest of you. This is, I believe, different from the suicidal wish of those who are in so much pain that death feels like relief, different from the suicide I would later attempt, trying to escape that pain. This is a wish to murder yourself; the connotation of kill is too mild. This is a belief that you deserve slow torture, violent death.”  Blaming your body for others' actions romantic partner breaking up with you -- not attractive enough  Being raped -- hating body because it attracted unwanted attention of the rapist.   To express pain, communicate or share the internal experience to others, to make visible what is felt within.   A way to distract from some worse experience, e.g. intrusive thoughts.   Association with others who self-harm -- peer group.   Five general characteristics of love from Bernard Brady -- looking at how they contrast with parts' hatred for the body.  Love is affective -- love is emotional Hatred regarding the body  Disgust regarding the body  Anger toward the body  Fear of the body  Contempt for the body -- anger + disgust = contempt  Fueled by envy of other people's bodies.   Love is affirming  Devaluing the body -- Body Shaming Seeing the body as evil   De-facto Manicheanism All matter are seen as evil -- including our bodies  St. Augustine adhered to Manicheanism for a while before his conversion, and then strongly refuted it.   Hatred of the body.   Love is responsive And love is responsive to the body's legitimate needs.   or ignored.  In self-hatred toward the body, those needs are condemned  Love is unitive Can be a kind of separation of the body from the self.  I am not my body.  This is not by body.   Love is steadfast   So that is self-hatred.  But self-hatred isn't actually the most common or important form of failing to love the self.   What is the most common and most important failure to love the self?  The great sin against the self, if you will? Indifference.  The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference.  “The Beloved Ego: Foundations of the New Study of the Psyche” by prominent Austrian psychologist Wilhelm Stekel. The text was translated from German into English by Rosalie Gabler and published in 1921.  The quote was expanded and made famous by Nobel Laureate Elie Wiesel in a 1986 US News and World Report article The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.   Indifference is so, so common.  We can be so indifferent to ourselves and to others. ― David Mitchell  “The world's default mode is basic indifference. It'd like to care, but it's just got too much on at the moment.”  Aristotle “Tolerance and apathy are the last virtues of a dying society.”     W. Somerset Maugham British playwright, novelist, short story writer The tragedy of love is indifference Catholic philosopher Peter Kreeft wrote in his book Prayer for Beginners that Indifference is more truly the opposite of love than hate is, for we can both love and hate the same person at the same time, but we cannot both love and be indifferent to the same person at the same time What does indifference to the self mean to the parts The biggest form of unlove -- indifference.   Define indifference --  an absence of interest in or concern about emotional, social, spiritual, philosophical, virtual, or physical life.   and the world. not caring about oneself.  Disregarding oneself, Abandoning oneself, not caring about oneself. Wait a minute, Dr. Peter -- I thought that was what we Catholics were called to do.  Being dead or numb to oneself  Evil is the absence of good (privatio boni) -- privation theory of evil --  this idea was implicit in some of Plato's writings, but he never stated it implicitly   Plotinus further developed the idea And St. Augustine really refined it.  City of God:  For evil has no positive nature; but the loss of good has received the name “evil.” Examples of indifference to the parts  Lack of awareness Parts disconnected from the self or fused with the self have very partial vision      Lack of caring Make up some examples here.   Five general characteristics of love -- from Bernard Brady Love is affective, love is affirming, love is responsive, love is unitive, love is steadfast.   Love is affective -- love is emotional Apathy toward the parts.  Not caring about them, not interested.  Parts pursuing their own agendas inside with little regard for the wellbeing of others parts.   Trauma begins in terror but ends in apathy.”  ― Brian W. Becker ― Khang Kijarro Nguyen  “Apathy is as dangerous, invisible, and contagious as an asymptomatic virus carrier.” “Apathy is a silent killer.” ― Frank Sonnenberg,     Love is affirming “The stronger you cling to your armor of indifference, the more it strips you of your humanity.” ― Abhijit Naskar, No Foreigner Only Family    Love is responsive “there are people capable of eating popcorn at the movie of your agony”― StephanieR oberts, Rushes from the River Disappointment   Nina MacLaughlin, Wake, Siren: Ovid Resung  “His eyes they held the most dangerous thing, they held the top of the sins. Indifference. Indifference. A vacancy where human care should be."  “We may not choose apathy, but when we choose anything other than love and empathetic justice, we get apathy by default.”― Ken Wytsma,  Love is unitive Love is never fragmented; it's an inseparable whole which does not delight in bits and pieces. John A. Andrews  Love is steadfast Polarizations lead to tension inside and instability   What does indifference to the self mean to the body Bessel van der Kolk:  … traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: the past is alive in the form of annoying interior discomforts. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and in an attempt to control these processes, the often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings in a numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from themselves.   Examples of indifference to the body  Lack of awareness Parts disconnected from the self or fused with the self have very partial vision   Less extreme, passive examples of indifference to the body -- we've all done at least some of these.   Problematic eating or drinking Too much caffeine (hooked on energy drinks or coffee)  Misuse of alcohol  Overeating  Too much sugar  Too much junk food  Eating to soothe oneself when upset, sometimes called emotional eating  Eating when bored  Skipping meals   Smoking Not exercising at all -- too little physical activity -- or too much exercise Poor ergonomics Overdoing the screen time -- 10 hours a day on the computer is hard on the eyes Low activity levels  9.3 hours of sitting per day, more than 7.7 hours of sleeping today Not going outside Allowing yourself to get really sunburned or dehydrated or exhausted Not using the bathroom when you need to Poor clothing choices -- not bundling up in winter -- the man in the hoodie when it's 15 degrees out in wintertime, woman wearing high heels when it's not a good choice,  Misuse of the smartphone -- using your smartphone in bed Poor sleep habits, going to bed too late Misuse of sex -- not caring for your body in sexual situations.   Not getting medical or dental care for your body that would be good and right ignoring a treatable condition  Ignoring symptoms   Poor hygiene Five general characteristics of love -- from Bernard Brady Love is affective, love is affirming, love is responsive, love is unitive, love is steadfast.   Love is affective -- love is emotional Indifference to the body.  Just not caring about the body, apathy toward the body.  Looking at only the utilitarian functionality of the body.  The body as a container or vessel for your mind or soul or psyche.     Love is affirming -- indifference to the body can mimic detachment or poverty Love is responsive -- Lack of awareness about the body.  Very disconnected.   La belle indifference:  The term “la belle indifference” is a French term, which translates to “beautiful ignorance.”[1] La belle indifference is defined as a paradoxical absence of psychological distress despite having a serious medical illness or symptoms related to a health condition. Not being interested in your body.  Love is unitive Not seeing your body is part of you, disconnecting from your body Love is steadfast 1 Cor 3:16-17.   Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If any one destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and that temple you are.   Experiential Exercise on Unlove -- the failure to love  Cautions difficult material -- how and why we don't love ourselves.   window of tolerance Upside -- Fight or flight, sympathetic activation  Downside -- Free response -- dorsal vagal activation, shutting down, numbing out,  don't have to do this exercise, can stop at any time, reground yourself  no steamrolling parts  Good to do this exercise when you have the time and space and privacy -- not while driving or engaging in other activities that would require you to divide your attention.   Options Take what is useful to you  Feel free to go your own direction if that seems what's best  Feel free to pause the audio and really settle in and do extended work inside if that seems best  Can have pens, pencils and paper to write down things that are helpful -- like a journal -- or to map out things, draw if that's helpful.  Can pause the recording at points where you would like to have more time to do your internal work.   A lot of gentleness with and for yourself.  Moment here for your to really care for yourself.   Luke 10:27 Love your neighbor as yourself -- we are supposed to love ourselves in an ordered way And that means loving the parts of ourself that are in need.  With care and compassion If you get distracted, that's ok, that's common.  You can just refocus, or if that's not possible, then focus in on that distraction -- get curious about why a part of you needs to distract you.   Body scan -- locating -- finding. -- Call that a trailhead Tension in muscles  Stomach pain or gastrointestinal distress  Headaches  Fatigue   Could be other trailheads Images or dreams that come back to mind  Memories, sounds, beliefs or assumptions   Focus in on that one sensation or inner experience that reflects some kind of distress or agitation about you not loving you.   That experience will lead you to a part -- we will call the part you are focusing on, your target part.  A part that is not loving some other part of you in some way Your target part Might be hating another part of you  Your target part Might just not be caring about another part of you.   Your target part Might be trying to suppress or silence that other part.   Listen in to what that experience, that body sensation or that impulse or desire or image or memory or belief. Really notice that target part.  How do you experience it?  Let's see if we can work with one part at a time.  You can do this reflection and guided exercise over again with multiple parts if you'd like.  But see if your parts inside can agree to let you work with one part.   We are going to ask that one part not to flood you with its intensity.  That's a safety thing.  We are asking that part not to overwhelm you with its distress.  We want to be separate but near, so that you as the self can have a relationship with that part.  If your target part fuses with you or blends with you, you can't have a relationship.  See if that part will agree not to overwhelm.  Just ask it.  See what the response is.  If it agrees, then  Really sense that part.  See that part or sense that part, however that part is becoming more apparent to you.  How old is that part?  Some parts of us are very, very young.  Even preverbal.   Really listen to what that target parts wants to share with you, what it wants you to know.   How is that target part trying to help you?  What is that target part's good intentions.   How are you feeling toward that part, toward that experience Compassion  Connection  Curiosity -- genuine interest  Calm   If feeling negative, can we get concerned protector parts to soften, to relax back so that you, as the self, can connect with your distressed target part?  If not, focus on the concerned protector part.  Really get interested about why that part is not ready to let you connect with your target part.  There's a reason.  Parts always have good intentions for us.   Let your target part tell you all about what its experiencing with the other part -- the unloved part.   Emotions Anxiety  Sorrow -- deep emotional pain  Anger  Numbness   Thinking -- assumptions, beliefs Really be open to these beliefs, asking protectors not to censor them if possible.  Concentration issues.   Behaviors -- why does the part do what it does? What does this conflict connect back to for your part -- when did the part feel the same way in your history?  Checking to see if there's a concerned protector part trying to speak for your target part -- like a spokespart who wants to interpret the parts experience.  See if that concerned protector part can soften and relax back and let the target part speak for itself.   How is that part doing now?  Changes in your body?   Can the part feel love from you?  xWhere are you with: Compassion  Connectedness  Curiosity  Calm   Winding up Can write down what you learned, what was helpful, what came to you -- giving your parts a voice on paper.   Can do this exercise again with a different part  Gratitude for all your parts -- all have good intentions are trying to help  This doesn't have to be the end of connecting with your target part -- doesn't have to be a one-off experience, can check in with that part again.  Action Plan Looking ahead: next episode, number 98 -- ordered self-love -- now that we've covered all the ways that we can fail to love ourselves, we will be learning what it means for us to be loving ourselves in an ordered way.   Fr. Jacques Philippe -- 2008 Book Called to Life:  This self-love is good and necessary, not egoism that refers everything to "me," but the grace to live in peace with one's self, consent to be what one is, with one's talents and limitations. Love of God, love of neighbor, and love of self grow together and sustain one another as they grow. If one is absent or neglected, the other to suffer. Like the legs of a tripod, all three are needed in order to stand in each leans on the others. St. Thomas Aquinas  -- bringing in some of the work of Dr. Mary Julian Ekman, Religious Sister of Mercy. Self-love is the ground of human action, where the conscious choice to love self transforms self- love into self-friendship.  Proper self-love (amor sui ordinatus) is indispensable for perfecting the human person by making the soul more like God, who knows and loves himself by his very essence.    This movement toward self-perfection is hindered by improper self-love (amor sui inordinatus)   St. Augustine will also help us, as we explore how disordered self-love regards the self as an end, but ordered self-love sees the self as a means to the proper end of love.   Promotions  Ann-Marie Klobe -- Ready for Love: An online retreat for single Catholic women over 35 who are ready to connect deeper with their Faith, the Saints, and find a Godly relationship.  The Ready for Love retreat airs October 3-17, 2022  So many single Catholics are operating from a place of disconnection, and my goal is to restore their trust in God's plan for their life, help them feel like they have a purpose in this world, and provide training on topics such as the Saints, forgiveness, beauty, and trusting in God.  Anne-Marie did an extended experiential exercise with me as part of this retreat.  She discovered and explored some hidden reasons that could be obstacles in romantic intimacy.  She did some beautiful work that she will share with the women who attend the retreat.   Anne Marie and I are also planning for me to do a 60-minute live Q&A for the Ready for Love retreat -- where the women on the retreat can bring their questions to me about the ways that they reject ourselves as persons, the ways in which they refuse to love themselves, what it would mean to be married, and about discovering their primary identity as a beloved daughter of God.   The website for the retreat was not quite up yet at recording time.   You can go to Anne Marie Klobe's website -- https://www.anne-marieklobe.com  I will be letting you know more about it and provide links in the weekly reflections that I email out on September 14 and 21-- if you haven't been getting the weekly email reflections, sign up for them, and have them delivered to your email inbox every Wednesday.  Go to Souls and Hearts.com and click  the box that says "Get Dr. Peter's weekly reflection in your email inbox each Wednesday. Those weekly reflections are deep dives that I write each week about critical human formation topics -- those weekly reflections are the written companions to this podcast.   The Resilient Catholics Community.  The RCC.  I am inviting you on an adventure of being loved and of loving.  That is what the Resilient Catholic Community is all about.  Check it out at soulsandhearts.com/RCC   The RCC is all about working through your human formation issues -- the ones that lead to all the unlove you have for yourself.  The self-hatred and the indifference to self, the failures to love yourself in an ordered way, so that you can love got with all of your being -- with your whole heart, your whole soul, your whole mind and all your strength, with every fiber of your being.   It's all about learning to be gentle but firm with yourself -- it's all about integration.  It's all about resilience.   All about restoration -- recovering from being dominated by shame, fear, anger, sadness, pessimism, whatever your struggle is in the depths of your human formation We do this work experientially -- so many experiential exercises -- so we work not just in your head, and not just in your soul, but also in your heart.   And we do the work step by step -- in a very clear program.   Check it out at soulsandhearts.com/rcc -- we open registration for new members every June and December.   I'm inviting you to join me and more than 100 other faithful Catholics on this pilgrimage to much better human formation.  Get on the waiting list for the cohort that begins in December 2022.  soulsandhearts.com/rcc Talk with me about it in conversation hours call my cell 317.567.9594 any Tuesday or Thursday from 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM Eastern time for conversation hours.    

After reading through "Draw the Circle", a 40-day prayer challenge, Virginia and Natalie reflect upon Natalie's pilgrimage to R.E.S.T. and how she learned to speak to the mountains in her life. Interview Links https://www.virginiadixon.com/ondemand (On Demand) https://www.virginiadixon.com/copy-of-events (R.E.S.T.™ Events ) https://www.hungertest.com/ (Soul Hunger Quiz ) https://howwelove.com/love-style-quiz (How We Love Online Quiz ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (How We Love by Milan & Kay Yerkovich) Where to Find Virginia https://www.virginiadixon.com/ (Website ) https://www.instagram.com/theplaceofrest/ (Instagram) https://www.facebook.com/virginiadixon.rest (Facebook) https://www.linkedin.com/in/virginia-dixon-9497a0206/ (LinkedIn) https://www.virginiadixon.com/collaborate (Donate)

Painful sex is a common side effect for Endo Warriors, but it is not solely tied to Endometriosis. Actually, there is a diagnosis for 'painful sex' called dyspareunia. In this episode the NCMP cast discusses our understanding of why painful sex may occur and their discuss our personal experiences. Look out for part 2 in two weeks where Zada shares her story and experiences with painful sex. The Endo Foundation (@endofound) and Dr. Aviva Room (@dr.avivaromm) are referenced as resources during this pod. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van Der Kolk referenced. Trigger Warning - sexual abuse/trauma is referenced during this episode. Like, share, and follow us on IG @notchamommapod and tag us in the movement challenge with the hashtag #movementmedicine. DM any gentle corrections or email us at notchamommapod@gmail.com. Anchor listeners - leave us voice messages at https://anchor.fm/notchamommapod/message.

Episode Summary:  Have you ever thought about how to look at pain as a gift? Is it possible? In this episode, I talk with Tera Bradham DeNeui, a swimmer who had her sights on the Olympics until injury and chronic pain entered her life, changing the path God had for her. If you suffer with chronic pain, you won't want to miss her hope filled message. Quotables from the episode: When you can't hold on anymore, you have to trust that God is still holding on to you. Lord, complicate my life with a holy complication. My discipline with swimming led to my discipline in spending time with God in my daily quiet time. We are socialized to believe questioning God indicates a lack of faith. But in reality, asking God questions shows our trust and faith in God. If you find God in your suffering, and prove Him to be faithful, you will likely never walk away from Him. Your pain has a tendency to close you in and decreases your vision. Because we cannot turn off our pain, it forces us to look to God. Freedom is being able to live outside our circumstances and know that our pain doesn't define us. God's heart in suffering holds us in our suffering and redeems it. Because Jesus suffered, He understands our suffering. God heals people in the way that brings Him the most glory. While we may long for God to heal us physically, the ultimate healing is in our hearts.  Scripture References: Jeremiah 33:6-9 (Tera's life promise) “Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security. I will bring Judah and Israel back from captivity and I will rebuild them as they were before. I will cleanse them from all the sin they have committed against me and will forgive all their sins of rebellion against me. Then this city will bring me renown, joy, praise, and honor before all nations on earth that hear of all the good things I do for it; and they will be in awe and will tremble at the abundant peace and prosperity I provide for it.” Jeremiah 17:14 (NIV) “Heal me and I will be healed. Save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.” 2 Corinthians 6:3-10 (NIV) “We put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that our ministry may not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance, in troubles hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments, and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights, and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, good report and bad report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many people rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.” Hebrews 12:1-3 (NIV) “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV) “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”  Recommended Resources:  Swimming for Freedom: A True Story of Faith, Hope, and Victory by Tera Bradham  The Gift of Pain: Why We Hurt and What We Can Do About It by Dr. Paul Brand and Philip Yancey  The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D. Suffer Strong: How to Survive Anything by Redefining Everything by Katherine & Jay Wolf Trusting God Through Cancer 1 Trusting God Through Cancer 2 Revive & Thrive Women's Conference Subdue Stress and Anxiety: Fifteen Experts Offer Comprehensive Tools in Ten Minutes a Day. Use my link plus discount code BENG99 to save $90 on course (course will be $99.) Free Download: How To Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Breaking Anxiety's Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Breaking Anxiety's Grip Free Study Guide  Free 7-Day YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety's Grip Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor's Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader's Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader's Choice Award Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Tera Bradham DeNeui: Tera Website / Heal Website / The Heal Podcast / Instagram / Facebook / LinkedIn / Twitter For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Breaking Anxiety's Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /  Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube Guest: Tera Bradham DeNeui is an author, speaker, and podcast host. She loves to talk to animals like they're humans, curl up with a great book in an equally great blanket, and help others see God's faithfulness amidst their suffering. Her journey has led her across the world to deliver messages of empowerment and purpose. Tera writes and leads the Heal Ministry from her home in Vancouver, Washington. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson

In today's bookend episode to our special summer series, I get to introduce to you Shellie Cook, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Co-Owner of Cornerstone Wellness Center in Auburn, Maine. Shellie's training and experience working with tools like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Emotional Freedom Technique, Accelerated Resolution Therapy, and so much more have changed the lives of her patients. In this conversation, she shares encouragement and guidance in how an integrated approach to emotional health, in which the whole person is recognized and validated, is changing the way we experience counseling, and improve our experience of life, and how it begins with listening and tuning in to what's really happening and what we truly need. I know you will be blessed by this conversation, and if you know someone who would enjoy it I encourage you to pass it along. A few of the resources mentioned in the podcast include: “The Body Keeps the Score,” by Bessel van der Kolk; Laney Rosenzwieg and the Rapid Recovery Foundation www.artworksnow.com; Stephen Porges's written works; myriad podcast interviews with Maine counselor Deb Dana, LCSW; and Mindful Magazine. Shellie invited those in need of support to call the Cornerstone Counseling team at 207-376-4981.

Dr. Lee Cowden returns to continue the conversation regarding the physical consequences of grief we currently see in society through illnesses such as ALS and other neurodegenerative diseases. Interview Links https://www.virginiadixon.com/ondemand (On Demand) https://www.virginiadixon.com/copy-of-events (R.E.S.T.™ Events ) https://www.hungertest.com/ (Soul Hunger Quiz ) https://howwelove.com/love-style-quiz (How We Love Online Quiz ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (How We Love by Milan & Kay Yerkovich) Where to Find Virginia https://www.virginiadixon.com/ (Website ) https://www.instagram.com/theplaceofrest/ (Instagram) https://www.facebook.com/virginiadixon.rest (Facebook) https://www.linkedin.com/in/virginia-dixon-9497a0206/ (LinkedIn) https://www.virginiadixon.com/collaborate (Donate)

#117 | The Art of Practicing Book Club: "The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind & Body in the healing of trauma" + how to apply the concepts In this episode, fellow Reiki & Dowsing Energy Practitioner and Life Coach Brigitta Dau and I chat about "The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind & Body in the healing of trauma" by Bessel van der Kolk about the way the body responds to psychological trauma. This book was released in 2014 and it became one of the most widely read books in the pandemic world. The Body Keeps the Score is the inspiring story of how a group of therapists and scientists— together with their courageous and memorable patients—has struggled to integrate recent advances in brain science, attachment research, and body awareness into treatments that can free trauma survivors from the tyranny of the past. These new paths to recovery activate the brain's natural neuroplasticity to rewire disturbed functioning and rebuild step by step the ability to “know what you know and feel what you feel.” They also offer experiences that directly counteract the helplessness and invisibility associated with trauma, enabling both adults and children to reclaim ownership of their bodies and their lives. We wanted to give a Trigger Warning. We are going to talk about where trauma comes from & how it possibly manifests. We're just giving you some advance warning so you can take care of yourself. Some symptoms require immediate emergency care. If you or someone you know is thinking about harming themselves or others or attempting suicide, seek help right away: Call 911 for emergency services or go to the nearest emergency room. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (Lifeline) at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or text the Crisis Text Line (text HELLO to 741741). Also, the National Institute of Mental Health has some resource information here: https://www.nimh.nih.gov We talk about how to layer tools, tips, resources, and so much more. Tune in. Sending Reiki to anyone who wishes to receive for highest good.

In this episode, I share about a deep somatic healing experience I had. It's an example of the wisdom of our body but also how we are often so unconscious of what we carry in our cells.

This is an introduction to the practice of Somatics, which was originated by Thomas Hanna and has been a part of many different practice traditions.  In Greek, the term “soma” refers to “the living body in its wholeness.”  This living, breathing, self-sensing, self-aware, and self-moving perception from inside out differs from the concept of body. Somatics draws from the traditions of Feldenkrais, Alexander technique, and practices observed by Elsa Gindler. For more details on this work, please refer to Thomas Hanna's books The Body of Life: Creating New Pathways for Sensory Awareness and Fluid Movement and his classic Somatics: Reawakening The Mind's Control of Movement, Flexibility and Health.  Rather than “mind over matter” our new understanding is “sensory over motor.” I describe reflex patterns that become habituated in our bodies: red light reflex, green light reflex, and trauma reflex.  Then I explain how this interconnection of our bodies and minds as inextricably linked feedback loops means that we can work with our bodies to release stuck emotions and patterns.  Another reference I mentioned in this episode is The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk.  The Somatics of Self-Confidence YouTube video (25 min recorded class) can be found at this link.  Are you enjoying this podcast? Would you mind taking a minute or two to leave me a review on your podcast player of choice? Thank you! It is greatly appreciated. To get in touch to let me know how these episode are landing for you, please use my contact page. If you believe you could benefit from some 1:1 mentoring or coaching, feel free to schedule a complimentary call with me using this scheduling link. 

In this solo episode, I riff a little on a new-to-me concept--body attunement. I talk about what I'm learning and how I'm applying it to my life. This episode is for you if **You're tired of listening to "experts" and still feeling stuck **You feel like you've basically got this whole life thing down pat and yet also feel like something's missing **You're curious about a new way to define our relationships with ourselves. Links-- Pause Breathwork--https://www.pausebreathwork.com/ The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, MD My website My Instagram My TikTok--@embodylife

Tamika Thomas is a transparent author, podcaster, life coach, and inspirational speaker. Addiction was a large part of the generational trauma that took place in her family and played a big role in her life during childhood. As an adult and former alcoholic now in recovery, she went to school to become a drug and alcohol counselor but ultimately moved to prevention and early intervention.  Tamika believes that core values are a way for us to be, do, and have everything we need in our lives. She shares that her biggest personal core values are: living to inspire--not impress, lifting as she climbs, and turning her trials into treasures. We discussed people pleasing and co-dependency--common traits of children of addicts--and their effects on relationship building, as well as trauma bonding.  We talked about ways to discover our personal core values, one of which is to take a calendar or financial inventory, and about what happens when we are not living in alignment with our core values: we may experience anxiety, depression, etc. which can manifest physically in our bodies at times. We also discussed the important fact that as we evolve in recovery, our values may change. You can find Tamika on Instagram @tamika_thomas_ as well as visit her website tuesdaywithtamika.com. Find the book we discussed in this episode, The Body Keeps the Score, here. Are you a member of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group? It's a free and private space for sober women who want to build confidence, improve their relationships, and love their lives beyond recovery. Join now! You can join the Sober Freedom Inner Circle any time for a group coaching experience that will move your life from good to AMAZING! Grab a copy of my memoir, Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety, wherever you buy your books! 

Brittny is joined by former client, friend, fellow entrepreneur, and hype gal Erin Bonnell. Erin has overcome some of life's most challenging circumstances and through her healing journey she has learned valuable lessons + insights that she wishes to share with others. After having dreamed of starting her own business for years, she now operates her own online store where she creates custom clothing with intentional designs. Her designs are inspired by her own personal journey and the personal development work that Brittny teaches. She loves helping people embody the person they want to show up as by creating something that they can physically wear with intention. Brittny and Erin discuss: What a trigger is Triggers versus re-triggers and why we get re-triggered How to navigate a re-triggering Ways to reconnect to your body and feel safe Dissociation within your body and what it feels like Getting curious and building awareness around triggers How Erin went from triggered to freedom Taking messy, imperfect action How and why our body and brain will block us off from certain experiences Mentioned in this episode: The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk Mind Body Connection with Patty Tapia (Episode 111 of The Positively Real Podcast) Connect with Erin: www.erinbonnell.com www.instagram.com/erin.bonnell

In this week's episode Leah shares some of the responses she received from her recent blog post, The Rise of Empowered, Single Women,” in response to the trending post, “The Rise of Lonely, Single Men ” (which we talked about  in last week's episode). This conversation leads into a discussion about unhealthy and abusive relationships and Kayla opens about about her past abusive relationship. We talk about narcissistic abuse and pathological love relationships and why it can be difficult to detect initially, as well as leave these types of relationships. We discuss the patterns of abuse and some of the red flags to watch out for, as well as offer some resources and tools for our listeners on the topic. Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma-ebook/dp/B00G3L1C2K/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2IGQ5FXA34W2D&keywords=the+body+keeps+the+score&qid=1661046126&s=digital-text&sprefix=the+bod%2Cdigital-text%2C160&sr=1-1 If He's so Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad by Avery Neal https://www.amazon.com/Hes-Great-Why-Feel-Bad-ebook/dp/B073NP3YXS “The Rise of Empowered, Single Women” by Leah Aguirre  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/modern-dating/202208/the-rise-empowered-single-women Domestic Violence Support https://www.thehotline.org/

#relationships #manifestations #healing #freedom #energy #lawofpositivity #liberation #dharma #alchemy #energywork #sacredwoman #relationships #committment #sacred #evolution #leoseason #fullmoon #aura #Aquarius #reelsinstagram #chicago #texas #exploremore #travel #explorepage #healthylifestyle #corporate #podcast --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/bmichavery/message

International author, educator, Cardiologist and Integrative Physician, Dr. Lee Cowden, expounds on last week's episode by connecting the physical symptoms of diseased states to their spiritual roots. Interview Links https://www.virginiadixon.com/ondemand (On Demand) https://www.virginiadixon.com/copy-of-events (R.E.S.T.™ Events ) https://www.hungertest.com/ (Soul Hunger Quiz ) https://howwelove.com/love-style-quiz (How We Love Online Quiz ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (How We Love by Milan & Kay Yerkovich) Where to Find Virginia https://www.virginiadixon.com/ (Website ) https://www.instagram.com/theplaceofrest/ (Instagram) https://www.facebook.com/virginiadixon.rest (Facebook) https://www.linkedin.com/in/virginia-dixon-9497a0206/ (LinkedIn) https://www.virginiadixon.com/collaborate (Donate)

Rachel and Danny delve into the effects emotional pain has on all facets of our bodies, what that means, how it works, and how that affects one's ability to heal what is inside of you and what gets trapped inside of your body. The Masters of Self University PODCAST is your highest source of Sacred Truth and Universal Wisdom, offered by Rachel Fiori, spiritual leader, psychoenergetic-healer, & CEO of MSU. Join our journey of soul transformation with hosts Ellie Lee, Danny Morley, and the rest of our amazing Certified Mystical Life Coaches. https://mastersofselfuniversity.com/ Rachel: https://www.instagram.com/rachel_fiori/ https://www.tiktok.com/@rachel_fiori https://www.facebook.com/rachelfiori.msu Ellie: https://www.tiktok.com/@ellieyjlee https://www.instagram.com/ellieyjlee Danny: https://www.instagram.com/dannymorleymsu NEW EPISODES EVERY MONDAY AND THURSDAY! Released: 08-15-22

People don't realize how long ago "long ago" wasn't. We're not talking about two, three, four hundred years ago. My family always stressed working somewhere your employer respects you, because it wasn't that long ago they didn't have a choice.Nyasha GreenWe're rebooting Post Status Excerpt as a weekly chat between Nyasha Green and Dan Knauss (and guests—please join us!) about a few of the active topics and discussions in the WordPress community that we feel are most important. Big thanks to David Bisset in his former role as host and curator here, and also to our intern and post-production engineer, Olivia Bisset.This week we're talking about pay transparency. Ny relates some personal experiences where an employer did not disclose pay or how employees were selected for raises. This leads us into a discussion of pay transparency in the hiring process — how it matters to everyone but especially job seekers who are black, indigenous, and other people of color. (Ny has written about this before, and Piccia Neri has been investigating the topic lately.) We also talk about how a lack of transparency can seem to emphasize an employer's distrust and an employee's disadvantaged position — and the effect that can have on a workplace culture.Next, we talk about our own family histories which are touched — in living memory in Ny's case — by slavery and colonialism where work and dignity were extracted from some people by others with the power take their labor without compensation. Ny's great grandfather was born a slave in South Carolina in 1858 and lived until 1963. Dan's ancestors include German settlers in North Carolina who abandoned their earlier beliefs against slavery and began to practice it in the late 1700s. In the Americas and beyond, the past is much closer than we often assume, especially for BIPOC people. History only “bends toward justice” if people choose to bend it that way. It can also go the other way.Finally, we close with how Allie Nimmons experienced a surprising level of hostility to a survey she presented to the WordPress community about the ways we contribute to the project and how we feel about it. There's the community we have now — and the community we need to become. How do we get there? What are the barriers? How can you help?

Board certified in functional medicine, Dr. Heidi Arens, a family nurse practitioner and prior coworker of Virginia's expounds on the physiological manifestations of grief and the power in addressing the root of the symptoms. Interview Links https://www.virginiadixon.com/ondemand (On Demand) https://www.virginiadixon.com/copy-of-events (R.E.S.T.™ Events ) https://www.hungertest.com/ (Soul Hunger Quiz ) https://howwelove.com/love-style-quiz (How We Love Online Quiz ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (How We Love by Milan & Kay Yerkovich) Where to Find Virginia https://www.virginiadixon.com/ (Website ) https://www.instagram.com/theplaceofrest/ (Instagram) https://www.facebook.com/virginiadixon.rest (Facebook) https://www.linkedin.com/in/virginia-dixon-9497a0206/ (LinkedIn) https://www.virginiadixon.com/collaborate (Donate)

Pregnancy is a stress test. What does that mean!? Think of pregnancy as an early warning system. Some conditions that come up during pregnancy might mean you are at higher risk down the road of being affected by chronic disease. But this doesn't mean there isn't anything you can do about it. Join Drs. Sarah & Alicia as they outline the two most common conditions in pregnancy that can be an indicator of your future health, and what you can do to prevent or reduce the risk! Check out these related episodes for a deeper dive: Hypertenisve Disorders of Pregnancy Gestational Diabetes in Pregnancy GDM Tips and Tricks from a Dietician | Be sure to also check out Your Nourished Pregnancy Bootcamp from Nourished Beginnings and use the code SFH20 to get 20% off! The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel Van Der Kolk. Get the hard copy or check out the ebook on audible! Subscribe to The Pregnancy to Parenthood Podcast Series! For the low, one-time cost of $47, get full access to over 40 informative episodes supporting you week by week, focused on the trimester and stage of pregnancy you are in. Tune in every week, or binge listen all at once and come back to the episodes you found most helpful as you move through pregnancy to parenthood!

Today I'm speaking with my good friend Britt Dionne about a super simple, very FREE and easily accessible exercise we both learned in therapy that has been a game changer in both of our lives. It's called, the Compass exercise. Britt has spent most of her work life as writer and communications professional. And nearly all of her personal life as a seeker who's insatiably curious about metaphysics, self development, and psychology. She's writing a book that she hopes will someday help out folks like her younger self, just starting their journey. In this episode we cover:How we met, it has to be one of my favorite storiesWhat the compass exercise actually is & examples of how we've both applied it to our everyday livesNormalizing therapy and the importance of mental healthHow looking at what we wanted to ‘feel' not just what we wanted to have, was a game changerHow everything leads back to trusting yourselfSetting boundaries and how removing emotional charge can helpAnd more!_____The compass exercise template is right here:Key points to keep in mind-these are things you will want to give to yourself first if possiblewe attract who we arethe compass list isn't set-in-stone, but always growing along with youthe list will help you set clear boundaries so you can trust that you won't compromise what is important to you for a person, job, etc. that isn't the right fitTHE BIG QUESTION: How do I want to feel with my partner/friend/team in a relationship/job/home…Emotionally (list as many as you can come up with)Physically (ex. safe, protected, as in how do you want to feel when you're in their/the space)Sexually (obviously doesn't apply to work relationships, etc. Adjust as needed)FinanciallySpirituallySociallyWhat are your shared valuesGo through the items you listed out and edit. This is where things get interesting. If you can dig to the root of what you want to feel, you may see some patterns. It will also help you edit down to a short list of 5-7 words which is the goal.Next up: dealbreakers. List everything out and edit again to find the top few dealbreakers. This was incredibly helpful for me. When I was in a relationship or situation that had a lot of emotion tied to it, I could look at what I wanted to feel and see clearly whether the person/job/place was aligned with that or not. It wasn't pointing blame, it was not emotionally charged which I think was a HUGE help.Revisit as often as needed. Try this for all areas of your life if you find it helpful and keep it moving, dynamic, flexible…it will change with you._____A HUGE thank you to miss Britt. You are a special human, let alone a good friend. I'm so grateful you came on to share your insights, wisdom, energy and humor. To my listeners, I hope you enjoy the conversation as much as we did! Thank you for listening. If you fond this inspiring, take a second to rate and review wherever you listen to podcasts, it really helps support the growth of this passion project. Links: ✨NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming (google it)✨ book: Non-Violent Communication✨ book: Attached✨book: The Body Keeps the ScoreFollow me here:

Do you told tension in your body? Perhaps you experience pain during sex? In this episode, Dr Megan Daley joins me to discuss how everything in our body is connected, her own healing journey, and what you can do today to begin to live a pain-free life.Megan is a doctor of Physical Therapy who loves helping active adults stay active and doing the things they love. She treats basically any musculoskeletal injury in the body, she's certified in oncology rehab, and she offers a monthly membership that's focused on optimizing performance for YOU so that you don't need to see a healthcare professional! Megan overcame many injuries and surgeries herself to discover that optimizing strength and fitness really is the key. She is a CrossFitter, trail runner, hiker/backpacker, and dancer, as well as a competitive Olympic Weightlifter. Oh, and a corgi mom!In this episode we talk about:How Boudoir empowered MeganThe “what were you wearing?” question being asked to rape victims and the shame it createsThe stigma of intelligent women not being able to be sexyEveryone should read The Body Keeps the ScorePelvic floor tension has nothing to do with whether or not you've had kidsDo you experience pain during sex?Using a therapeutic psychedelic trip to tap into self loveWhere to connect with MeganCONNECT WITH DR. MEGAN DALEY:www.moveonthedaley.orgInstagram: @moveonthedaleyCONNECT WITH KELCY AND FIND YOUR SEXY:www.findyoursexy.coInstagram: @kelcyvallettaLearn about my online course, The Confident Queen Code HERE!

Today Chalene wants to address the biggest mistakes you may be making when it comes to your health and fitness progress.  She is going to be very clear in this episode that her biggest pet peeve is when people ask to know what she actually eats in a day. What Chalene may eat in a day is not going to be what others should be eating. There are so many factors you need to consider.  Chalene will share with you her thoughts on knowing  your own personal baseline, if you should know what your basal metabolic rate is, what the benefits are of having a DEXA scan, the impact your hormones could have on weight loss and weight gain, how many calories you should be eating and so much more.    Links from Today's episode: Check out Athlean X Check out Mia Finnegan Check out  @trainwithjoan Check out the book The Body Keeps the Score   Download the Patreon App and Join The Chalene Show at patreon.com/TheChaleneShow     Thank you to our Sponsor!!! Organifi!!! Go to Organifi.com/chalene  and Use the Code CHALENE for 20% off all products!   Be sure to subscribe to Chalene's YouTube channel !!!   Join our awesome PodSquad on Facebook here!      Links You May Want to Check out: Subscribe to Subscribe to Build Your Tribe!!!  Check out Bret's ALL NEW Course Money Matters 101 at Chalene.com/moneymatters Be sure to check out the Push Journals and Notebooks!! Go to PushJournal.com Join Phase it Up and start creating healthier habits, it isn't like other diets or programs! PhaseItUp.com Join the InstaClubHub to go deep in learning all the latest tips and strategies to Instagram growth and engagement! InstaClubHub.com Check out all the Discounts and some of Chalene's favorite things at Chalene.com/Deals Leave Chalene a message at  (619) 500-4819 Leave Chalene a Voicemail review or question  HERE Join our awesome PodSquad on Facebook here! Go to Chalene.com/MyThing and see what your passion or hidden talents are!!   Connect with me on your fav social platform: Instagram: www.Instagram.com/ChaleneJohnson    Facebook: www.Facebook.com/Chalene    TikTok: @chaleneOfficial Twitter: www.Twitter.com/ChaleneJohnson     Sign Up For MY WEEKLY NEWSLETTER and you'll get FREE tips on how to live a ridiculously amazing fun-filled life!   Be sure you are subscribed to this podcast to automatically receive your episodes!!!        Get episode show notes here: www.chalenejohnson.com/podcast      Hey! Send me a tweet & tell me what you think about the show! (Use the Hashtag) #The Chalene Show so I know you're a homie! XOXO Chalene

In Vonda's words... "When WWHHE, they'll consider some food for thought and thought for food. When are white people going to unpack your stuff? “White women carry the water and do the dirty work for men.” Those same 40% of women who owned slaves before 1865 are working in HR, Marking and Legal and Government Relations, in hospitals, schools, corporations, banks, and every other industry. Today they are delivering the same punishments as their - but with advanced means. Today the same descendants leverage technology, power and Anti-Blackness to maintain status quo. “When white people have had enough they will treat each other as sisters and stop letting each other get harmed by the patriarchy?" The Body Keeps the Score is a book Vonda recommends to help unpack internal trauma. If you've been abused in the past, you must heal, rather than heap your past trauma on others. Anti-Blackness is the foundation on which we operate and until white people are unhappy with the status quo. The food for thought; how long will we continue a debased society where women hurt other women on purpose!" Connect with Vonda on LinkedIn. https://bit.ly/3qOS4Eo Watch LIVE episodes of The Group Chat here. https://bit.ly/3mfRFrv

Continuing our conversation from last week with Katherine Vance, we enter a new series exploring the realm of grief through a horrific event nearly half of the women in America have experienced. *Disclaimer: The content in this podcast is meant for mature audiences only (18+) as some of it may be difficult to hear. Continuing to listen to this content releases R.E.S.T.™, Virginia Dixon from all liability. Interview Links https://www.virginiadixon.com/ondemand (On Demand) https://www.virginiadixon.com/copy-of-events (R.E.S.T.™ Events ) https://www.hungertest.com/ (Soul Hunger Quiz ) https://howwelove.com/love-style-quiz (How We Love Online Quiz ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk ) https://www.virginiadixon.com/resources (How We Love by Milan & Kay Yerkovich) National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-HOPE (4673) Where to Find Virginia https://www.virginiadixon.com/ (Website ) https://www.instagram.com/theplaceofrest/ (Instagram) https://www.facebook.com/virginiadixon.rest (Facebook) https://www.linkedin.com/in/virginia-dixon-9497a0206/ (LinkedIn) https://www.virginiadixon.com/collaborate (Donate)

One in four couples are in an abusive relationship, one in five children are molested, Stats that make you gulp. But a rife and real epidemic that affects the body, mind and brain of us all - no matter how severe the story of our lives. Trauma has the power to have a complex grasp on how we show up in our relationships, whether we keep toxic patterns alive and the reason behind why we continue to settle for toxic relationships. Good news amongst the glum; TRAUMA is rewritable, and TRAUMA is the gift that brings you closer to the treasured and true relationships, and away from the neglectful and numb - only IF you become enlightened to it. That's where Today's episode comes in! I'll help you get familiar with: - The devastating toll trauma plays on the mind, on body and its automatic ability to sabotage our lives and relationships - My two life-changing traumatic experiences and how I turned around my Rescuer/Compliant role - The 4 Strategies People use to adapt to Trauma - How to practice radical self compassion - The hurtful myths about trauma - The Vicious traps you can fall into if you are to bypass or unsee your trauma-story - How to transmute trauma into unstoppable boundaries, empathetic ability, wisdom, emotional breadth and high self worth for amazing relationships. ...amongst much more. If you're one to dive into the books, I'd strongly recommend The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk. Trauma is a heavy subject matter, but an extremely necessary one that I hope you consider exploring for extra mileage in your healing journey and stepping out of the magic dark and opening your world into colourful windows to come. I am beyond thankful for those of you who tune in at the early stage of the podcast, if you'd love to support it reaching more ears, and being part of a bigger network of and movement that makes trauma less taboo - please share and write a review here: https://bit.ly/hearttoheartpodcast If you want some guidance, high-level support, and a no.1 fan throughout the healing process and a mentor to help guide you to emotionally available men, check out my latest coaching program here:

PTSD after loss is real. Christina and Meghan share their experiences with PTSD and grief in this episode, with some laughs and book recommendations along the way. Grief sucks. It's hard, and then you add in PTSD and/or anxiety?! We get it. We understand, and we want you to know that you're not alone and that there is help available. This is a heavy topic, so how are we laughing, joking, and talking about sci-fi? Because we're living breathing humans who are dealing with grief and PTSD while living regular lives. It's hard, but we're moving forward and you can too.Books we talked about in this episode:1. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D. - https://amzn.to/3ORhwmy2. The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker - https://amzn.to/3Qb7A8CMeghan's sci-fi book recommendations:Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir - https://amzn.to/3vzrimBand if you haven't read The Martian by Andy Weir, read that one first! - https://amzn.to/3zswtpmIf you find this podcast helpful, please subscribe and leave us a review! Having reviews is the best way for people to find this podcast. New episodes are available every Wednesday. Thanks for being here! You can also support the show by buying us a coffee :)Support the show

Halee Wood talks about the effect rest has on our responses to the stressful circumstances in our lives.https://livesteadyon.com/Email Angie at: steadyonpodcast@gmail.comFacebook: @livesteadyonInstagram: @angiebaughman421Grab freebies and subscribe to the weekly Steady On newsletter at: https://livesteadyon.com/live-steady-on-newsletter/Looking for something not listed? It's probably here: https://linktr.ee/livesteadyonhttp://runtheracetogether.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/runtheracetogetherHalee's “Ignite the Holy Spirit” download can be found here: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/e2u2l6Halee's blog post on the egg, carrot, and tea can be found here:http://runtheracetogether.com/are-you-the-egg-carrot-or-tea/Halee mentioned:The Body Keeps the Score by Besse van der Kolk, M.D.Covered Podcast miniseries found here: https://linktr.ee/livesteadyonslō Podcast Angie mentioned:Steady On podcast #79 Chasing Rest with Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young found here: https://livesteadyon.com/2021/11/24/episode-79-chasing-rest-with-dorina-lazo-gilmore-young/Steady On podcast #100 with Halee Wood & Susie Crosby found here:https://livesteadyon.com/2022/04/20/episode-100-turning-tables-with-angie-halee-susie/Theme music:Heartwarming by Kevin MacLeodLink: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3864-heartwarmingLicense: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Today I am blessed to have Sandra Mikulic on the Reshape Your Health Podcast. She is a plus-size runner, wife, and mom of 4. Sandra has run a 50km race, several marathons, and an Olympic distance Triathlon, with more races to come!In this episode, Sandra talks about her journey through childhood trauma and how she's used exercise to heal herself emotionally and mentally. After reading The Body Keeps the Score, Sandra learned she used her body to have visceral experiences that contradict her helplessness and rage. Sandra speaks about restoring the trust between your body and soul. Tune in as we chat about navigating impostor syndrome, overcoming the fear of criticism, and focusing on your mental weight before your physical weight.  Highlights From This Episode[00:00] Topic Intro[02:40] How Sandra Discovered Her Love for Running at the Age of 43[11:50] Sandra Was Contradicting Her Helplessness and Rage Through Running [22:35] Navigating Impostor Syndrome and Overcoming the Fear of Criticism[31:30] Before Focusing on Weight Loss, You Need to Focus On Your Mental Weight[36:45] To Teach Other People, You Have to Live In Your Truth [42:50] Sandra Says That Overweight People Know How to Lose Weight Subscribe & ReviewSubscribing and leaving a rating and review are important factors in helping the Reshape Your Health Podcast and the YouTube Channel reach more people. If you haven't already subscribed, please do that today.We would also be grateful if you left a rating and review, too. In your listening app, scroll to the “Ratings and Reviews” section, then click “Write a Review” and let us know what you enjoy about our show. We appreciate you taking the time to show your support. Thank you!Resources From This Episode>> Join Zivli>> Book a Free Zivli Discovery Call>> Freebie: Weight Loss Mindset Audio Training>> Freebie: The Ultimate Food Guide>> Sandra's Website>> Follow Sandra on Instagram>> The Body Keeps Score Book

  Summary:  Real love (agape) is given freely -- but it is not received freely in our fallen human condition.  Join me in this episode as we discuss the costs of opening our hearts to loveand the price of being loved fully, of being loved completely, in all of our parts.  We review why so many people refuse to be loved -- and we examine the psychological and human formation reasons for turning away from love.  Finally we discuss what we can do to get over our natural-level impediments to receiving love.   Lead-in  I am a rock I am an island I've built wallsA fortress deep and mightyThat none may penetrateI have no need of friendship -- friendship causes painIt's laughter and it's loving I disdainI am a rock I am an island I am a rock -- Paul Simon wrote it in 1965 and Simon and Garfunkel  Released it as a single in 1966, and it rose to #3 on the charts -- why because it resonated with people.  It was popular because it spoke out loud what many people's parts feel.   The desire to become a rock, the impulse to build the walls, to keep everyone out, to repudiate love and laughter, to not need anything or anyone.    Kate McGahan -- untitled poem   I don't need anyone, I said.Then you cameI need I need! I NEED YOU. I needed you.What did you teach me?Not to need you.NOT TO NEED. -  I don't want to be in love, anymore. I just want to be left alone. And no, I am not depressed or something. No suicide is happening here... I am fine. Trust me. Sharmajiassamwale So you want love.  But you also don't want love.  But you want love.  But you don't.  You do.  You don't.  You're conflicted.  How do you understand this conflict within you?  Can you and I understand this push-pull, this attraction - avoidance, this Yes and No within us more clearly.  Yes we can.  And we must.  Or we will wind up always skating along the edge of love, never really entering in.  And there are consequences for that -- and no one put it more succinctly than the English poet and playwright Robert Browning, who said: “Without love, our earth is a tomb”   Intro We do want to be loved, but we don't.  Why?  Because we want the benefits of love, but we don't want the costs   The Benefits To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.  David Viscott  If you don't have that memory of being loved, you are condemned to search the world for something to fill you up. -- Michael Jackson The costs.  Real love is given freely, but it is not received freely in this fallen world.   Almost no one talks about the costs of being loved.  I find that so strange.  People don't think this way.  There are costs to receiving love, to accepting love, to allowing love in to our hearts.   It's painful to be loved in this fallen world.  this is not well understood by many people, especially those who are not in touch with trauma, or who haven't suffered as much as others Bernard Brady's 2003 book "Christian Love: How Christians Through the Ages have Understood Love  Second sentence of the book, in the preface:  "Loving seems entirely natural and being loved seems wonderfully good." Not to many people RCC member -- so glad you can discuss tolerating being loved.     Real love -- Agape -- burns away things that are sinful within us -- it doesn't coexist with the vice within us. Bernard Brady: Christian Love, p. 16:  "…love transforms those who love and those who are loved."   Every true love and friendship is a story of unexpected transformation. If we are the same person before and after we loved, that means we haven't loved enough.”   ― Elif Shafak, The Forty Rules of Love Change is scary “Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.”― Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment    Real love also purifies us from anything that is not morally wrote, but that is disordered or dysfunctional or imperfect Real love is the greatest good.  And because it's the greatest good, it requires us to give up lesser goods.  Perceived good and actual goods.   Coping strategies, crutches that helped us in the past Analogy of the safe -- limited room, silver and gold.  Vulnerability I will lose what I have I will lose to possibility of being loved in the future I don't want to find out I am unlovable.  I can't bear that.    Because for love to be real, for love to be agape means me allowing you to love all of me.  All my parts.  My entire being Not just the acceptable parts of me in the shop window, those that I allow others to see.   The greatness of the adventure of loving can be intimidating Love, in some sense, is nothing other than an invitation to great joy and suffering, so they shy away from it.  Paul Catalanotto Refusal to love is also refusal to live  The Catholic Weekly  Dietrich von Hildrebrand those who "wish to linger with small joys in the state of harmless happiness … in which they feel themselves to be master of the situation … lacking any element of surprise or adventure.   Let's go on this adventure of being loved and loving together.  I want you to come with me into the themes of this podcast.  I want you to really engage with what I'm presenting to you.  Not just listen like the Athenians listened to Paul about the resurrection of the dead.  Acts 17:32: Now when they heard of the resurrection of the dead, some mocked; but others said, “We will hear you again about this.”  But they weren't really that interested.  Only a few of the Athenians joined him.  Stay with me in this Episode 96 of Interior Integration for Catholics, released on August 1, 2022, and titled "I Am a Rock: How Trauma Hardens us Against Being Loved" I am Dr. Peter Malinoski, clinical psychologist, passionate Catholic and I am very pleased that we can share and engage with this information. Why do I think being loved is so important?   First because receiving love is absolutely essential.  It is our starting point in the spiritual life.  And second, because most people will not realxly allow themselves to be loved. Psychiatrist and Harvard Professor George Valliant wrote:  It's very hard, for most of us to tolerate being loved.-- That's been my experience as well.  The vast majority of people have chosen to severely limit how much love they will let in, how much love they will tolerate.   You can't love unless you are willing to be loved.   1 John 4:19:  We love because he first loved us  Look at the order here.  God loved us first.  We can't generate any love on our own.  We can reflect love, we can channel love, but we can't create love out of nothing like God can.  We have to cooperate in love and be open to love in order to love, in order to follow the two great commandments.   That is what this Interior Integration for Catholics podcast is all about -- it's about preparing the way for you to have a much deeper, richer and much more intimate relationship with God in the three Person of the Trinity -- Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and with the Blessed Virgin Mary our Mother.  A deep, personal relationship with God and Mary.  That's what  I want from you.  And if you won't tolerate taking in real love, if you deprive yourself of real love, you are going to wind up in a de facto hell on earth.  The most miserable people on earth are the loveless people -- loveless not because no one will love them -- but loveless because they actively or passively reject love.  And so many people do that.   And there are spiritual consequences to cutting ourselves off from real love.  Our heart become small, they become hard, they become closed, they become fearful, they fester in wounds.  And if we persist in refusing to be loved and to love, there is no other place for us to be in the afterlife than in hell.  That's what I think hell is -- a place for those who have refused love.  That's how serious all of this is.  Eternal consequences of the highest order.    Hallmark Movie Love What so many of our parts really want is what I call Hallmark movie love -- in Latin, this is rendered "Lovus Hallmarkius"  Hallmark love.  Yes, I've given it a ridiculous translation, but that because Hallmark love is not only a ridiculous concept, it's a dangerous one.  I mean it.  Really Dr. Peter -- all those sweet, feel-good Christmas movies?  What are you some kind of grinch, to criticize Hallmark movies?  I mean really, come on.. That's a bit much.  Hear me out, hear me out.   What is Hallmark love -- love is always just around the corner, painless, fun.  They are delightful.  Love is so gratifying and enjoyable, love takes away suffering. Clean and tidy.   It's a myth.  The Hallmark company is selling illusions.  Their movie production arm is peddling falsehoods about love to an audience who wants what they are offering to be true.  But it isn't.   Kristine Brown captured this theme in her online article Living in a Hallmark Movie  December 11, 2015  I want to live in a Hallmark movie.  I want to walk down the cobblestone Main Street into the corner coffee shop where everyone greets you with a smile and a Merry Christmas. I want to move to a new town where you immediately become acquainted with everyone and your child makes instant friends at school and there's always time to bake Christmas cookies and decorate trees and drink hot cocoa with peppermint sticks. I want to live in a Hallmark movie. I want to walk my child to school holding hands and have him tell me how much he loves me and what a great mom I am. I want to live where kids don't make bad choices and parents don't make mistakes. Where the toughest decision is whether to stay in the small town where you grew up or chase after a promising dream in the big city. Where things always just work out. And the movie always ends with a kiss from your true love and snow. Always snow. But life isn't a Hallmark movie, not even close. Example of the life of Christ -- the greatest lover ever, who died in making the greatest act of love ever, and it was nothing like a Hallmark movie.  We assume that we want love -- and we do.  Or parts of us do Made for love and in love -- That's a beautiful line in the Litanies of the Heart, written by Dr. Gerry for Souls and Hearts -- "Lord Jesus, you created me in love, for love."   Colossians 3:14  And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.   Discussion of Parts Reference Episode 71: A New and Better Way of Understanding Myself and Others   Definition of Parts:  Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  Each part also has an image of God and a whole religion developed around its understanding of God, self, and the relationship between God and self.   Parts have different roles within the self system.  Narrow slice of experience, very limited vision.   Some parts don't care about being loved.  They are focused on never being hurt like that again.  They are focused on protection from harm, defending the self system against threats from others, very protective.  IIC 89:  Your Trauma, Your Body: Protection vs. Connection Conflict “I wished I didn't need an ocean of space to feel comfortable. I still wanted to be loved. Yet again I felt like two people: one who desperately needed a hug, and one who would break apart at the slightest touch. How could I get people to keep their distance without leaving completely? How long would it take for them to get tired of the way I flinched and evaded?” ― Ruby Walker, Advice I Ignored: Stories and Wisdom from a Formerly Depressed Teenager   Using a metaphor to describe how trauma hardens us against being loved  Overview Roots = unresolved trauma  Single trunk -- shame  Five Main stems -- acronym CRIES -- as in cries for help.    C R I E S -- Each of these main stems is driven by shame in the trunk, shame that results from the unresolved trauma in the roots.   Cognitions Relationships Identity Emotions Spirituality Each main stem has branches -- branches that cross and interweave in this big bush  And the branches have fruits.   Roots -- Unresolved trauma This includes the original trauma, original sin.   Underground, not seen --  Check out Episodes 88 and 89 -- a lot about the nature of trauma in those episodes  Primary effect of unresolved trauma is shame.   Single Trunk -- Shame Discussed shame at great length in Episodes 37 to 49 of this podcast.  Definitions of shame in episode 37:  Shame is:  a primary emotion, a bodily reaction, a signal,  a judgement, and an action.   I encourage you to go through those episodes again -- really get a grip on shame, because understanding shame is the key to understanding almost all psychological dysfunction, and understanding shame is the key to really comprehending why you have difficulties with your human formation.  Can't stress that enough.   Shame -- the central role of shame. Issue of survival.  Life and death.  Deep assumptions that my shame is so bad that it will kill me.  Our protector parts assume they have a need to defend against our exiled parts that have burdens of shame -- protectors believe they have to keep the shame out of awareness, keep it buried, distant.  They don't know that we can work with shame and the parts that carry the shame in collaborative, cooperative, constructive ways.  Our protector parts don't know that shame can be resolved -- the burden of shame can be lifted and there can be healing.   “When you're a child trapped in a situation of physical or psychological deprivation, you learn shame as an efficient, elegant mechanism of survival: shame simultaneously shields you from the reality that danger is out of your control (since the problem is not that you're unloved and deprived; it's that you're Bad) and prevents you from doing or saying anything challenging that might provoke a threat.” ― Kai Cheng Thom, I Hope We Choose Love: A Trans Girl's Notes from the End of the World Go back and really get the shame piece of this.   Main Stems off the trunk:  Cognitions, Relationships, Identity, Emotions, Spirituality -- Acronym CRIES  Emotions  Stem:  Five aspects Grief, Anger, Fear, Flooding, Shutdown  -- GAFFS -- so many of these emotions are generated by the shame that results from unresolved trauma Love is affective -- Bernard Brady -- discussed this at length in episode 94  Love is a movement from your heart, your soul -- a movement from the innermost depths of your being.  From your core self.  So the emotions are intimately involved with love   Grief  Emotional reaction to deep sense of loss.   Sadness about what you don't have that you need.   Parts want to be seen and heard and known and loved by the one who might love you.  All of you wanting to be loved.  All of you wanting to be healed.  So parts surge up, wanting to come to the surface.   Parts that carry grief have never been loved -- never been connected with in an emotional way, never been included in relationship with your innermost self or with others.  Never been seen. Anticipatory Grief -- if I allow myself to be love, I could lose that love.  The one who loves me could die.     Fear -- this is an emotion that drives so much fleeing from love.  This really is the big one.   Philophobia -- fear of love  All of us have parts that fear love.  Being loved arouses anxiety because it threatens long-standing psychological defenses formed early in life in relation to emotional pain and rejection, therefore leaving a person feeling more vulnerable.  Robert Firestone Fears of being revealed Fears of vulnerability Fears of loneliness Fear of the unknown Fears of being hurt one more time -- like Charlie Brown and Lucy and the football, winding up flat on your back again. Fears of betrayal  Fears of abandonment So much of this fear is driven by shame.   All this fear is a barrier to being loved.   “To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.”  Betrand Russell All the bruised lives, searching hearts ... Everyone wants a love story but few will risk what it takes to live one. - Donna Lynn Hope Flooding:  Emotional overwhelm -- flooding.  Emotions become all dysregulated. Hyperarousal -- moving into fight or flight mode.  Intensity of emotions because very great. Often because old emotions from previous unresolved trauma are welling up -- parts that carry the burden of intense emotions want to be seen, heard, known and understood, they no longer want to be exiled, banished into the unconscious -- they want a voice, they want relationship they want redemptions.  Paul Simon  Don't talk of loveWell I've heard the word beforeIt's sleeping in my memoryI won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have diedIf I never loved I never would have criedI am a rock I am an island  “Our biggest challenge is that we have an overwhelming desire for an extraordinary love story but low capacity to hold space for it in our nervous system.”  ― Lebo Grand Dietrich von Hildebrand:  Fear of losing oneself in intense joys or griefs   Anger So much of this anger is driven by fear driven by shame  Our protector parts can use anger to distract from fear and grief.   Behind every angry soul is a wounded child that just wanted you to love them for who they are. Shannon L. Alder  Shutting down Avoiding inner experiences is one of Nathanson's four defensive scripts for avoiding shame.   Hypoarousal -- moving down out of the window of tolerance to the freeze mode.   Example of an electrical panel, or breaker panel v-- metal box with a door down in the basement or utility closet  with the main and the circuit breakers   Fruit: We have a very difficult time tolerating being loved when we are not in our window of tolerance.  Fight or flight mode or freeze mode -- we move very much into self-protection, to a focus on survival, on just perpetuating our existence.   We're not open to love -- we've moved into survival mode, not seeking connection.   We're not open to God.    Fr. Jacques Philippe, Searching for and Maintaining Peace:  The more our soul is peaceful and tranquil, the more God is reflected in it, the more His grace acts through us.  On the other hand, if our soul is agitated and troubled, the grace of God is able to act only with much greater difficulty… God is a God of peace.  He does not operate except in peace, not in trouble and agitation.  We need that emotional regulation, that sense of being in our window of tolerance to be able to connect with God.  So many times fear is identified as a barrier   Fear as a result of shame drove Adam and Eve into the bushes -- hiding from God John 14:27:  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. Cognition Stem  Perceptions extremely sensitive to stimuli  Very vigilant -- scanning for threats in the environment   Negative self-talk I am unloved  I am unlovable  I don't deserved to be loved -- bred in families where there is conditional love -- unattainable ideals of perfection  I will be seen and I will see myself.   I might contaminate anyone who would love me with my badness.   I won't live up to the love.   Doubts fostered about goodness in the world, about the nature of others Skepticism about who actually makes the effort to love  Demanding perfection from others before trying again.  To have the chance of being loved we have to take a chance on being destroyed inside -- Jo Nesbo Pessimistic evaluation of the future No one will love me  I will be deceived, tricked and then betrayed, rejected, abandoned   Distractions Paul Simon:   I have my booksAnd my poetry to protect meI am shielded in my armor  Fruit we can dwell inwardly, on our own damage -- we can focus on our wounds.  Direct our attention to all the things that are wrong with us and pull inward -- self-absorption, ruminating and obsessing about our defects, curling up inside to protect ourselves, not letting anyone in.  So common.   Or we can reach out and embrace love anyway.  We can trust that parts of us may be seeing things inaccurately, thinking about things in ways that are distorted.   Identity Stem  Drawing from Robert Firestone's  Why Do So Many People Respond Negatively to Being Loved? article on psychalive.org  I am inadequate, unworthy of love “We accept the love we think we deserve.”– Stephen Chbosky   Being valued or seen in a positive light is confusing because it conflicts with the negative self-concept that many people form within their family.  Firestone Being loved can provoke an identity crisis  Firestone Your identity, at least for some of your parts, can be very bound up in being unloved and unloveable   Parts may not know who you are if you were loved -- such a radical change Very disconcerting to lose a sense of who I am, even if the identity is a negative one.   Comfort in the familiarity of the dysfunction I know -- so I accept and even seek out rejection and failure -- they are familiar and harmonize with my life narrative.   Deep sense of having to earn conditional love.  But that is not what love is about “Love is not concerned with a person's accomplishments, it is a response to a person's being: This is why a typical word of love is to say: I love you, because you are as you are.” ― Dietrich von Hildebrand, The Art of Living   Little or no ordered self-love -- we will be discussing ordered self love in the next episode.  One of Nathanson's four strategies to cope with shame is to attack the self.   Internal disconnects to survive the trauma -- horror of abuse  Love relationships pull for integration Love is never fragmented; it's an inseparable whole which does not delight in bits and pieces. John A. Andrews  And that integration will bring up the parts of ourselves that we have rejected as too scary, too unacceptable, too unlovable, too dangerous, too overwhelming, too much in some way to be allowed a seat at the table of our consciousness.   Takes a lot of courage to really be loved.   Ursula Wirtz, Trauma and Beyond: The Mystery of Transformation “I consider love to be the matrix for this transformation, which calls new being into existence. Love has the power to reawaken and bring to the fire what has been entombed or distorted by traumatic forces or has retreated out of defensiveness and self-protection. Without love and compassion for the fragility of human identity in the face of death and the reality of evil, the madness found in these barren spaces of the soul might not be meaningfully encountered. For the stripping away of the constricting cocoon of traumatic fixations and the untangling of what has become distorted and convoluted during painful traumatization, love is needed.”  ―  Fruit -- will we let our burdened parts define ourselves-- will we let those traumatized parts of us, and the parts that guard us from those traumatize parts be the ones to determine who we are -- with their limited vision and their narrow slice of experience -- or can we work gently with ourselves and allow ourselves to be seen through the eyes of those who do love us.   Relationship Love affirms the other, love responds to the other, love is unitive -- love is steadfast more of Bernard Brady's characteristics of Agape, of real love described in episode 94   Effects of Shame Lack of trust in others   Lack of confidence How bold one gets when one is sure of being loved. Sigmund Freud  Fear of exposure To myself  To the one who loves me   “To be deeply loved, means a willingness to cut yourself wide open, exposing your vulnerabilities... hopes, hurts, fears and flaws. Hiding behind the highlight reel of who you are, is the real you and that person is just as worthy of love. There is nothing more terrifying or fulfilling, than complete love, it's worth the risk... reach for it.”  ― Jaeda DeWalt Fear of rejection The fear of rejection makes sense: If we've had a steady diet of shame, blame, and criticism, we learned that the world is not a safe place. Something within us mobilizes to protect our tender heart from further stings and insults .The Hidden Reasons We Don't Let Love In  -- John Amodeo Ph.D., MFT   The one who loves me will hurt me. It's inevitable   Fruit in the Behaviors -- all focused around protection from the other leading to relationship sabotage Undue criticism of the other --you are not enough for me.  Withdrawal and isolation -- one of Nathanson's strategies for coping with shame. Paul Simon Hiding in my room safe within my wombI touch no one and no one touches meI am a rock I am an islandAnd a rock feels no painAnd an island never cries  Avoidance  Pursuing unavailable people I found myself in a pattern of being attracted to people who were somehow unavailable, and what I realized was that I was protecting myself because I equate the idea of connection and love with trauma and death.” ― Zachary Quinto Pushing others away Basically, love is scary when it contrasts with childhood trauma. In that situation, the beloved feels compelled to act in ways that hurt the lover: behaving in a punitive manner, distancing themselves and pushing love away.  Robert Firestone  “You push people away, Marley. You don't realise it, but you do. You close yourself off to anyone and anything that doesn't fit in your perfect little hamster ball of life. But you can't experience love only on your own terms. It doesn't work that way.”  ― Kate Lattey, Dream On Aggression -- Fueled by anger. Attacking others is one of Nathanson's four strategies of coping with shame.  Why do we attack?  We are afraid, we are struggling with shame.     “Those who love to be feared fear to be loved, and they themselves are more afraid than anyone, for whereas other men fear only them, they fear everyone.     St. Francis de Sales   Emotionally disconnecting from the relationship Out of anger. Harden my Heart -- 1982 Hit Sung by Quarterflash  … I'm gonna harden my heart, I'm gonna swallow my tears, I'm gonna turn and leave you here  Out of fear and shame   “Many freeze types unconsciously believe that people and danger are synonymous, and that safety lies in solitude. Outside of fantasy, many give up entirely on the possibility of love. The freeze response, also known as the camouflage response, often triggers the individual into hiding, isolating and eschewing human contact as much as possible. This type can be so frozen in retreat mode that it seems as if their starter button is stuck in the ‘off' position. It is usually the most profoundly abandoned child - ‘the lost child' - who is forced to ‘choose' and habituate to the freeze response… Unable to successfully employ fight, flight or fawn responses, the freeze type's defenses develop around classical dissociation.” ― Pete Walker Dietrich von Hildebrand -- shrinking away from commitment.   Difficulties receiving partial, incomplete, imperfect love -- as replacements for God's love Glazed carrots.  Side dish, not the main entrée.   Mother Angelica's Little Book of Life Lessons And Everyday Spirituality :  Allow people to love you as they must love you, not as you want them to love you. Even God does not love us as we wish Him to. Learning to love is learning to accept love as it comes   Spiritual Disconnecting from God, who is love.   Human beings must be known to be loved; but Divine beings must be loved to be known.  Blaise Pascal We to love God to know Him  And so we have to find him lovable -- and so often parts of us don't find him lovable.   Need for Faith and Hope -- Infused virtues.   To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us. Timothy Keller everyone wants perfect love... no one wants to be a perfect lover... - Author: Brijesh Singh   Being loved by God is often even more difficult I John 4:8  "…God is love."  Issues around God images (IIC 23-29)  God is not as tangible, immediate  Transferences to God  Projections onto God.   Edward Vacek:  Love, Human and Divine: The Heart of Christian Ethics.  The sequence in loving and being loved.    (1) God affirms us; (2) God receives a; (3) we accept God's love; (4) we affirm God; (5) God forms community with us; (6) we cooperate with God in loving God in the world; and finally (7) we grow in a limited code responsibility with God. p.. 177 Problems with the sequence -- not tolerating enough contact with God  to be affirmed, to understand him in a totally different way.   1 John 4:19:  We love because he first loved us   Active vs. passive refusal to be loved.   Active refusals to be loved are more obvious Passive refusals to be loved are more common.   Five attachment tasks Felt sense of safety and protection -- have to go through the valley of shame, fear, anger, grief  Feeling seen, heard, known and understood -- have to tolerating being in relationship, being present.   Feeling comforted, soothed and reassured  Feeling cherished, treasured, delighted in   “If your parents' faces never lit up when they looked at you, it's hard to know what it feels like to be loved and cherished. If you come from an incomprehensible world filled with secrecy and fear, it's almost impossible to find the words to express what you have endured. If you grew up unwanted and ignored, it is a major challenge to develop a visceral sense of agency and self-worth.” ― Bessel A. van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma Feeling the other has your best interests at heart Love heals The more healthy relationships a child has, the more likely he will be to recover from trauma and thrive. Relationships are the agents of change and the most powerful therapy is human love. — Bruce D. Perry  “Love alone brings a human being to full awareness of personal existence. For it is in love alone that man finds room enough to be what he is.” ― Dietrich von Hildebrand, Man, Woman, and the Meaning of Love   “Trauma ruptures and hollows. Compassion mends and fills; love heals.” ― Na'ama Yehud There you have it from a trauma researcher, a philosopher, and a writer --  Example of Sr. Josephine Bakhita Born about 1869 in the village of Olgossa in the Darfur region of Sudan. She was a member of the Daju people  Uncle was a tribal chief, well-to-do family  At age 8, kidnapped by slave traders, forcerd to walk barefoot 600 miles to a slave market  Over the next 12 years, bought and sold many times, at least 12 times  Trauma of the abduction -- Forgot her given name in captivity -- consider that - - a loss of identity   Owners varied in their treatment of her.  Some were sadists  Family of  Turkish general Josephine wrote that as soon as one wound would heal, they would inflict another.  another woman drew patterns on her skin with flour, then cut into her flesh with a blade. She rubbed the wounds with salt to make the scars permanent. She would suffer a total of 114 scars from this abuse. A total of 114 intricate patterns were cut into her breasts, belly and into her right arm   I am definitively loved and whatever happens to me --  I am awaited by this Love.  Action Plan You gotta pray   Point is to focus on developing the relationship with the Persons of the Trinity and with Mary -- as a little child, a little son or daughter.   Litanies of the Heart - the Litany of the Closed Heart the litany of the fearful heart, the litany of the wounded heart.  Soulsandhearts.com/lit Books Intimacy in Prayer -- Personal Prayer:  A Guide for Receiving the Father's Love -- by Frs. Thomas Acklin and Boniface Hicks.  Fr. Jacques Philippe -- Time for God -- excellent guide for learning pray from a more relational perspective.  I also like Fr. Jacques Philippe's book The way of Trust and Confidence  Fr. Thomas Dubay -- Fire Within -- more of a Carmelite approach.  If you haven't been to confession recently, go.  If you feel like you can't go, I want to hear about it.   Calling all Catholic therapists and -- Interior Therapist Community is starting our fall groups.   80 therapists and graduate students in mental health fields in community -- each of us working on our own human formation, but not in isolation.  New Foundations experiential groups are forming -- and we have advanced groups.   2022 Webinar Series: Of Beams and Specks: Therapist-Focused Consultation - Peter Malinoski  $30 Soulsandhearts.com/itc -- call me at 317.567.9594 or email at crisis@soulsandhearts.com  Weekly reflection -- related to this podcast, delivered to your inbox every Wednesday --  We do get around to archiving them in the blog section of our website -- soulsandhearts.com/blog Conversation hours -- every Tuesday and Thursday from 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM Eastern Time call me at 317.567.9594 or email at crisis@soulsandhearts.com.  If I don't pick up, I'm on another call leave a voicemail.   Patroness and Patron.

Hey there friends! We're here for a bonus episode of the Revelation Wellness podcast. Today, host Alisa Keeton, is bringing us a special teaching on why the Revelation Wellness Instructor Training is about so much more than ever teaching a fitness class. In this episode, Alisa shares why this training helps cut through shame and help us live an embodied faith on mission for Jesus. This training is for those who are: • tired of the diet culture • tired of the shame • ready for freedom Download a packet today to learn more about becoming a Revelation Wellness Instructor who just might never teach a fitness class! The early bird pricing ends July 26. Get registered today!   For the resources mentioned in this teaching, click on these links: Webinar: I'm Never Going to Teach a Fitness Class Notes from I'm Never Going to Teach a Fitness Class The Wellness Revelation and Heir to the Crown Some of Alisa's Favorite Books (as referenced): The Body Keeps the Score Breaking Free From Body Shame Live No Lies Healthy Brain, Happy Life Teach Us to Pray   We love our Rev community and think you will too! Be sure to get connected with us at: The Official Revelation Wellness Facebook / Instagram / RevWell TV / Youtube   Your reviews matter to us and help spread the good news! Please consider leaving us one, and if we read your name on our show, we'll send you a free gift from the Revelation Wellness Store!