The Failing Writers Podcast

We nattered and we caterwauled 'bout lyrics, punk and bands,and we shed a little light upon how melody can expand,and we talked of books and words and how they sometimes change a man,and by the end, our mate Paul Armfield had another couple o' fans.Lyrics. Are they different to poems? Are they an art form all of their very own?Is it best to write lyrics and then fit the music around them?How do the words of songs develop?All will be revealed in this episode of The Failing Writers Podcast where we talk to the extremely talented and delightful Singer-Songwriter and bookstore manager Paul Armfield.Whose brilliant new album is all about books!Check out his tour dates and buy his music here:https://paularmfield.com/We also discuss dream interpretation, an imminent open mic poetry night and Clerihews. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello.Come here.A little closer.Closer.Don't be afraid.There. That's it.I'm going to tell you a story.A story about an author called C.J. Tudor.Who many years ago, waaay way back in season 1, episode 13, joined the Failing Writers Podcast for a harmless little natter.Back when they were just podcasting children, playing down in the basement of obscurity.Meanwhile, however, C.J. was on the way up. Climbing the stairs. Up, up she rose. Up to the very attic of literary accomplishment.And there she's lived ever since.But wait.What's that?There's something up there with her.Something hiding in the shadows.Something shapeless and malevolent. Watching. Waiting.What could it be?What could haunt such a successful writer, with its grim, brooding presence?Let's find out, shall we? As we catch up with C.J. Tudor again, 4 years on.You can buy Caz's books here:(Yooooou'll be sorry if you dooooon't)https://www.penguin.co.uk/authors/131110/c-j-tudor Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Aaaaaaand we're back.Bet you missed us. Ah come on. Just a little bit?Oh.Well we're here now, so let's make the best of it.Now... let's look at the menu.What's for starters?A delicious breakfast at Bettys Tea Rooms - a proper Yorkshire institution. Then... the very antithesis of failing... Jennie Godfrey and her bestselling debut book: A List Of Suspicious Things,All rounded off with a smorgasbord of excellent questions!Bon appetit!https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/454971/the-list-of-suspicious-things-by-godfrey-jennie/9781804942949 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello Worldwrights, The Failing Writers are now on a little sabbatical, plotting, (or possibly pantsing) the next season of the podcast and maybe... maybe... even writing some stuff? I'd like to think so anyway.In absentia, they've decided to bring you all 6 episodes of Anything 4 U, which some of you may remember being occasionally mentioned on the podcast.Yes... it's the lost classic.... The cult hit that got away... it's Dave's radio sitcom! Here to entertain you while you wait for the new season, with a few familiar voices, so you don't miss us too much.Happy listening.EPISODE 6: FINISHEDMany years ago a simple undertaker made a blood oath to the Godfather of the Herringthorpe Mafia. Now, armed with incriminating CCTV footage of an urn theft, the conniving cremator tricks Jed and Bobby into taking that oath onto themselves. Being forced to choose between his best mate and the love of his life may well be too much for Jed. After all, when they said they'd do Anything 4U, this isn't what they had in mind.StarringPeter Dickson, Dave Baird, Tom Turner, Della Phillips, Gabriella Ashcroft, Emma Clarke, Elinor Hamilton, Sarah Sealey, Jon Rand, Katie Rand and Pete NottageAnything 4U is a full cast audio sitcom following the micro jobbing adventures of Jed and Bobby. From walking the dog or mowing the lawn to faking a DNA test or fulfilling a blood oath to the mafia, anything you know you have to do, but just don't want to..they'll do it for you!Award winning writer Dave Baird and mega producer Rik Watson create a raft of outrageous characters, brought to life by some of the best voice actors in the business. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello Worldwrights, The Failing Writers are now on a little sabbatical, plotting, (or possibly pantsing) the next season of the podcast and maybe... maybe... even writing some stuff? I'd like to think so anyway.In absentia, they've decided to bring you all 6 episodes of Anything 4 U, which some of you may remember being occasionally mentioned on the podcast.Yes... it's the lost classic.... The cult hit that got away... it's Dave's radio sitcom! Here to entertain you while you wait for the new season, with a few familiar voices, so you don't miss us too much.Happy listening.EPISODE 5: TIPPEDWith business finally booming the lads are forced to tackle jobs on their own if they're to have any chance of finishing in time for Jed to finally meet Rachel's Dad. But with a house clearance to organise, a flat-pack to assemble, windows to clean and a hypnotherapy appointment to keep things end up in one giant, flaming mess. Will Jed and Rachel's relationship survive the day? Will Jed and Bobby survive at all? Only one way to find out...Starring:Tom Turner, Dave Baird, Gabriella Ashcroft, Rachel Kershaw, Jack Oddie, Melissa Sinden, Stephanie Hirst, Della Phillips and Peter DicksonAnything 4U is a full cast audio sitcom following the micro jobbing adventures of Jed and Bobby. From walking the dog or mowing the lawn to faking a DNA test or fulfilling a blood oath to the mafia, anything you know you have to do, but just don't want to..they'll do it for you!Award winning writer Dave Baird and mega producer Rik Watson create a raft of outrageous characters, brought to life by some of the best voice actors in the business. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello Worldwrights, The Failing Writers are now on a little sabbatical, plotting, (or possibly pantsing) the next season of the podcast and maybe... maybe... even writing some stuff? I'd like to think so anyway.In absentia, they've decided to bring you all 6 episodes of Anything 4 U, which some of you may remember being occasionally mentioned on the podcast.Yes... it's the lost classic.... The cult hit that got away... it's Dave's radio sitcom! Here to entertain you while you wait for the new season, with a few familiar voices, so you don't miss us too much.Happy listening.EPISODE 4: SWABBEDDespite Rachel now being a firm part of the team, times are tough for Anything 4U, with dog walking their only source of income. So when they lose an expensive thoroughbred, things get really desperate. Conned by one of Crystal's criminal exes and making a surprise appearance on the Timothy Vile show don't help matters, but it all leads to what can only be described as a nut-busting finale.Starring:Tom Turner, Dave Baird, Gabriella Ashcroft, Elinor Hamilton, Everall Walsh, Guy Harris, Darren Altman, Blanche Anderson, Marie Ekins and Melissa SindenAnything 4U is a full cast audio sitcom following the micro jobbing adventures of Jed and Bobby. From walking the dog or mowing the lawn to faking a DNA test or fulfilling a blood oath to the mafia, anything you know you have to do, but just don't want to..they'll do it for you!Award winning writer Dave Baird and mega producer Rik Watson create a raft of outrageous characters, brought to life by some of the best voice actors in the business. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello Worldwrights, The Failing Writers are now on a little sabbatical, plotting, (or possibly pantsing) the next season of the podcast and maybe... maybe... even writing some stuff? I'd like to think so anyway.In absentia, they've decided to bring you all 6 episodes of Anything 4 U, which some of you may remember being occasionally mentioned on the podcast.Yes... it's the lost classic.... The cult hit that got away... it's Dave's radio sitcom! Here to entertain you while you wait for the new season, with a few familiar voices, so you don't miss us too much.Happy listening.EPISODE 3: CATEREDThings get political when Jed and Bobby provide the catering for the national convention of the BNP. The moral quandary creates a rift between Jed and Rachel. Will their relationship survive? In fact, with cooking THIS bad...will anyone survive?Starring:Tom Turner, Dave Baird, Rachel Kershaw, Gabriella Ashcroft, Elinor Hamilton, Jack Oddie, Kenny Blyth, And Gerard FletcherAnything 4U is a full cast audio sitcom following the micro jobbing adventures of Jed and Bobby. From walking the dog or mowing the lawn to faking a DNA test or fulfilling a blood oath to the mafia, anything you know you have to do, but just don't want to..they'll do it for you!Award winning writer Dave Baird and mega producer Rik Watson create a raft of outrageous characters, brought to life by some of the best voice actors in the business. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello Worldwrights, The Failing Writers are now on a little sabbatical, plotting, (or possibly pantsing) the next season of the podcast and maybe... maybe... even writing some stuff? I'd like to think so anyway.In absentia, they've decided to bring you all 6 episodes of Anything 4 U, which some of you may remember being occasionally mentioned on the podcast.Yes... it's the lost classic.... The cult hit that got away... it's Dave's radio sitcom! Here to entertain you while you wait for the new season, with a few familiar voices, so you don't miss us too much.Happy listening.EPISODE 2: DUMPEDDesperate for money, Jed and Bobby offer a brand new "dumping" service. If you've had enough of your boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, whatever, but can't face dumping them yourself...they'll do it for you. After all, it's hardly a matter of life or death...or is it?Starring:Tom Turner, Dave Baird, Katie Rand, Jon Rand, Gabriella Ashcroft, Emma Clarke, Simon White, Elinor Hamilton, David Lane, Jack Oddie And Gerard FletcherAnything 4U is a full cast audio sitcom following the micro jobbing adventures of Jed and Bobby. From walking the dog or mowing the lawn to faking a DNA test or fulfilling a blood oath to the mafia, anything you know you have to do, but just don't want to..they'll do it for you!Award winning writer Dave Baird and mega producer Rik Watson create a raft of outrageous characters, brought to life by some of the best voice actors in the business. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello Worldwrights, The Failing Writers are now on a little sabbatical, plotting, (or possibly pantsing) the next season of the podcast and maybe... maybe... even writing some stuff? I'd like to think so anyway.In absentia, they've decided to bring you all 6 episodes of Anything 4 U, which some of you may remember being occasionally mentioned on the podcast.Yes... it's the lost classic.... The cult hit that got away... it's Dave's radio sitcom! Here to entertain you while you wait for the new season, with a few familiar voices, so you don't miss us too much.Happy listening.EPISODE 1: STRIPPEDJed's feeling nervous about his first date with Rachel. Fortunately, he and Bobby have a big job on hand to keep him distracted. All they have to do is erect a fence at a naturist club. What could possibly go wrong?Staring: Tom Turner Dave Baird Kenny Blyth Abi Phillips Elinor Hamilton Gabriella Ashcroft Jon Rand Simon White And Kristian Tiffany.Anything 4U is a full cast audio sitcom following the micro jobbing adventures of Jed and Bobby. From walking the dog or mowing the lawn to faking a DNA test or fulfilling a blood oath to the mafia, anything you know you have to do, but just don't want to..they'll do it for you!Award winning writer Dave Baird and mega producer Rik Watson create a raft of outrageous characters, brought to life by some of the best voice actors in the business. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and happy new year, you lovely lot.Please allow us a moment of self indulgence now, as all three of us bring you a bonus episode looking back on where we were 4 years ago, when we first began this lovely little writing / podcasting project.Because for some inexplicable reason, we've decided to take our first ever episode and provide a kind of 'director's commentary' over it.There will be cringing. There will be self-reflection. There might even be the odd moment of pride - as we look back at just how far we've come.Well... alright... admittedly, from the outside it doesn't look like we've come very far, does it?But the journey is long my friends, and the road is badly paved, and we're all easily distracted by all the fascinating little distractions along the way, aren't we?So try not to judge too hard. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we have a look at the rest of our festive flash fiction competition shortlist.Warning: They're upsettingly good.Any one of them, frankly, could have won.Which must rankle somewhat.Thankfully though, this is the moment they can shine.Here were the winners (Announced last week):Katie Holloway:https://loseyourselfbooks.wordpress.com/James Montgomoryhttps://www.jamesmontgomerywrites.comJohn R Preston. And here are the incredible Shortlisters:Camilla Cassidy:https://camillacassidy.co.uk Genevieve Marenghi Daly@genevieve.m.dRachael Dunlop:https://rachaeldunlop.comInsta: @rachaeldunlop1Rebecca LathamDebbie Howard Please give them a massive round of applause and buy them a drink next time you see them. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Winners winners, turkey dinners!Thanks to the absolute legends at SCRIVENER - https://www.literatureandlatte.com/You can get 20% off a copy by using the code 'failing' until the end of 2024.ORRRRmaybe... just maybe... you've already won a copy, and you don't know it?Well there's only one way to find out isn't there?by listening to this episode....So come on in and let's find out who's won the Failing Writers Podcast £500 Festive Flash Fiction Final!Whoop whoop! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Don't forget you can still get 20% off SCRIVENER using the code 'failing' until the new year - so do that first before you get side-tracked with all the less-important Christmas stuff.OK. Done that? Great. Now listen to this lovely episode featuring the wonderful Amy Daughters talking about how hand written letters can help bring people together.https://www.amydaughters.com/booksNext, find out how Jon & Tom got on with a bit of letter writing ...and then for the sake of balance, lets see what happens when you write letters pretending to be a 104 year old woman, who has a pet hedgehog and lives with a horrible lady called Mrs Hale...Because Robert Popper's been busy again... Get The Elsie Drake Letters for your loved ones in time for Christmas here "or you will regret it":https://www.hachette.co.uk/titles/robert-popper/the-elsie-drake-letters-aged-104/9781399817899/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Time to finish our letter to Bridget Phillipson, and once again thank the incredible teachers we spoke to, and the pupils for their fabulous creative writing.And hey, thank yourself too! Whether you like it or not, you're now part of our powerful army of activists, who are going to help bring about a U-turn in reading and writing!Let's start today - let's put away the smartphones - let's read more - let's volunteer as a paired-reader at a school. Let's big-up teachers - let's write something and share it with the world - let's write letters to the government until they change the way English is taught, and the way the arts are viewed in schools.Thanks for listening, and if you want to know more about the stuff we've been discussing, or have any other suggestions about how we might give English in schools a boost - drop us a line!failingwriterspodcast@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Thank goodness for the Failing Writers."A phrase you've no doubt overheard people say quite a lot over the years. At bus stops. Maybe in libraries? At the off licence?No? Not even the off license?Oh.Anyway - not to worry - this week you're ALMOST CERTAIN to hear it, as Jon and Tom slip their pants on over their tights and become SAVIOURS OF THE SUBJECT OF ENGLISH IN SCHOOLS.Yes, we're making it our mission to breathe new life into our favourite school subject and bring back the joy of reading and writing for the young folk of Britain!How?By writing a sternly worded letter of course! To Bridget Phillipson, Secretary of State for Education.But first, we need to talk to some people who actually know what they're talking about. You know, to find out what the heck's going on with young people and reading and writing!First up: Inspirational English Guru: (Yes. We're calling her a guru!) Leah Crawford.Ooh... and don't you dare forget to enter our Festive Flash Fiction Competition in Association with Scrivener:Get more details here:https://www.failingwriterspodcast.com/episodes/episode/ad99e466/s4-ep-20-the-failing-writers-festive-flash-fiction-competitionHere's Leah's website:https://leahcrawford.comBob Cox's site - The home of Opening Doors:https://searchingforexcellence.co.ukThe Opening Doors series:https://www.crownhouse.co.uk/opening-doorsLet's Think in English:https://www.letsthinkinenglish.orgLinks to The English Association's campaign to save English:https://englishassociation.ac.uk/english-creates-a-campaign-for-english/https://englishassociation.ac.uk/choose-english/The Common English Forum Manifesto for English in schools:https://commonenglishforum.org/a-manifesto-for-english/The Just Imagine Centre championing excellent books in schools:https://justimagine.co.uk/the-book-channel/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If Tom & Jon wrote poems‘spose it will be assumedThey won't be as good as Henry'sNormal service will be resumed.In this episode, we meet up with Henry Normal: poet, writer of famous sit-coms, TV producer and poetry festival founder, and have a blummin' lovely natter.(After we did that - we watched him perform all his lovely poems, so effortlessly. So fluidly. So naturally.And thus, inspired by his performance, we wondered how hard it would be to knock off a quick poem and perform it aloud.“Bloobee blah blah bleeblee Bloobloo bloobloo la!…”Sort of like that.Dead easy.So we did.The results were... profoundly... um......well... decide for yourself.)Henry Normal's insta:https://www.instagram.com/henrynormalpoet/Buy Henry's books:https://flapjackpress.co.uk/products/henry-normalHenry's tour dates:https://www.ents24.com/uk/tour-dates/henry-normalBIG UPS…The bloke who wrote the short story that Jon loved:https://www.aaroncourts.com/A.B. Finlayson and his excellent book:https://abfinlayson.com/rockzombie/Genevieve Marenghi-Daly's lovely website.https://sharpewords.uk/Cover photo: J. Preston. Available for weddings, bar mitzvahs and saucy stuff. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sorry? Did you just say you'd love to enter an almost free* festive flash fiction competition to win £500?I thought you did!Well as coincidence would have it, that is exactly what we've got going on in this very episode.So step this way, my cheeky little word-purveyor, and cast your well oiled ears at our glorious 350 word Flash Fiction Competition.That's it.... yep... cast them freely.... mmmm.... that's the ticket.*I say 'almost free', cos it's only a pound to enter. And we only did that to keep the pesky AI enterers from entering.So, well... that pretty much qualifies as free doesn't it?Here are some links to stuff mentioned in the podcast:Buy the Fuel Anthology Emily mentions, here: https://www.fuelflash.netFind Smokelong Quarterly here: https://www.smokelong.comAnd here is your failsafeSTEP BY STEP GUIDE TO ENTERINGTHE FAILING WRITERS PODCAST£500 FESTIVE FLASH FICTION COMPETITION:1. Listen to Series 4, Episode 20 of The Failing Writers Podcast.2. Jot down the special phrase you must include in your story.3. Write your 350 word, festive flash, (including that phrase!) Ideally well before the deadline - midday, Friday 13th December!4. When you're super-happy with it and ready to go… log into your Paypal account https://www.paypal.com5. Click on 'send and request'.6. Under the send menu, type failingwriterspodcast@gmail.com into the box. It will suggest Tom Turner – click on that!7. If ‘you send' is set to USD, change to GBP, and send £1.00 (don't forget that decimal point or you'll send us £100!!! whoopieee)8. ‘What's this for?' put something like “Comp entry”9. Hit send.10. Now go to your email and find the receipt you should've just been sent.11. Click Forward, and attach your flash fiction entry to this new email.12. Send that email (with Paypal receipt & flash piece) to failingwriterspodcast@gmail.comYou're all done!Can't wait to see what you come up with!For all of the details and terms and conditions and all that jazz - go here:https://www.failingwriterspodcast.com/post/win-500-in-our-festive-flash-fiction-competition Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What is ergodic literature? Well, it's when a story becomes more than just something you read, and you become part of it.But pretend you haven't read that, so that you can find out from listening to this wonderful episode. In which, we have a chat with "S" co-author Doug Dorst and You Say Which Way author Deb Potter, in our quest to get to the bottom of what ergodic fiction is and why it's so blummin' good. Enjoy!Here's some links for things in the show and stuff...https://dougdorst.com/https://www.amazon.co.uk/S-Doug-Dorst/dp/0316201642https://yousaywhichway.com/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Unfortunateshttps://www.penguin.co.uk/books/327088/house-of-leaves-by-danielewski-mark-z/9781529943993https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masquerade_(book) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Should you treat yourself to a writing retreat?If you did it twice would you be re-treating yourself to a writing retreat?If you tweeted about treating yourself to a writers retreat would you be tweeting your re-treat of retreating to a retreat?And if you then re-tweeted your...OK, I'll stop.Tom & Jon not only answer the first of these pressing questions, but as they disappear into the wilderness (sort of) to sample a writers' retreat, they seek to answer the biggest question of all.The one that's been haunting them for as long as they've been doing this podcast.Can they actually knuckle down and write for 2 and a half days straight? No social media. No boxsets. No 'nipping to the pub for one' and then accidentally spending the entire afternoon there?...What?Well I'm obviously not going to tell you am I?Of course not.What do you mean, I'm being a tease? That's what these bits of blurb are for! to tease you in.Oh stop arguing and hit play.Here's where we went:https://writersretreatuk.co.uk/2023/01/our-own-venue-the-retreat-at-the-kings-arms/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you querying? or nearly querying? Maybe you're fearing querying? Or merely getting weary and a bit teary querying? Well let's hear from three writers who've been down in those querying trenches for a while now.Find out how they're approaching it, what agents' responses have been like and how they're holding up under pressure.Because when it comes to finding an agent, it's more often than not, a long and painful process. No matter how talented a writer you are.Byddi Lee:Byddi's website:https://www.byddilee.comByddi's Books:https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/Byddi-Lee/author/B00OICWYUU?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_3&qid=1726051761&sr=1-3&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=trueÖzgür Uyanık:Short stories MEN ALONEhttps://www.parthianbooks.com/products/men-alone-short-stories?_pos=1&_sid=53c734e1d&_ss=rShort story from the collection, BANTER:https://nation.cymru/culture/short-story-banter/Novel CONCEPTION:https://www.fairlightbooks.co.uk/conception/THREADShttps://www.threads.net/@liberatedsleeplessSUBSTACKhttps://ozguruyanik.substack.comMari Stewart:Mari's website:https://mari-stewart.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

... What? Did 2 weeks just fly by since the last episode? No flippin' way.Time, I think, we had a chat about time. The fact that there's never enough of it. Especially for writing.Why is that?Well Oliver Burkeman might just have some answers.Prepare to face the subject of time and limitation face-on.Get ready to completely re-think how we view those precious hours, minutes and seconds. And ask... 'what would happen if we spent less of it worrying about the fact it's running out, and more of it just... being in it.'Or even becoming time itself?Might this shift in thinking actually help us stop procrastinating? and start spending more of our time doing the things that actually matter?Hopefully, yes.But what does actually matter?You might have to answer that one yourself.Regardless, whatever you do, you should definitely spend the next forty five minutes wasting your time listening to Oliver Burkeman.Get a load of Oliver's brilliant 400 Weeks here:https://www.oliverburkeman.com/fourthousandweeksGet free incredible anti-procrastinatory tips here:https://www.oliverburkeman.com/postsAnd get Oliver's sparkly, life changing new book here:https://www.oliverburkeman.com/meditationsformortals Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, that's the summer hiatus done with - and we're back with an episode which asks the question, "how do you know if your writing is good enough?"In an attempt to answer that question, we're going to be looking at a couple of Tom's flash fiction stories and asking if, why, and how, one of them is slightly less rubbish than the other. Both stories were entered into the same competition, but only one of them got published. Can Dave guess which one is which? Can YOU guess which one is which? Well, to answer either of those questions, you're gonna have to have a listen, aren't you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you have what it takes to quit your day job and follow your dreams to become a full time author?Well, there's only one way to find out...and that's to listen to our interview with J C Duncan!Hear how he bravely decided to give himself a year to become a professional writer and, even bravelier, decided to tell everyone about it!Plus home made knives, Vikings and our usual top quality chat!Find out more about our most excellent guest (and check out that sword!) HERE: www.jcduncan.co.uk.Buy his Vikingly books here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/J-C-Duncan/author/B08WCYR1DRAnd check out his #oneyeartopro threads here:https://x.com/JCDuncanauthor/status/1707002271010079150https://twitter.com/JCDuncanauthor/status/1708465357424365671https://twitter.com/JCDuncanauthor/status/1719670719628358012https://twitter.com/JCDuncanauthor/status/1732823188453650477https://twitter.com/JCDuncanauthor/status/1741821890270798104https://twitter.com/JCDuncanauthor/status/1753131464768532959https://x.com/JCDuncanauthor/status/1755575800626073768 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet...but would he have written that line if he wasn't called Shakespeare?This week Jon, Tom and Dave (or possibly Rod, Jane and Freddy) look into pseudonyms, nom-de-plumes, pen names...and basically just being someone else for a bit.Does your name affect your chances of success? Does it even have an impact on how you write?Join us to find out as the Failing Writers try to become the not-so-failing writers....for at least one chapter. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A change is in the air here at Failing HQ. A scent on the wind, a signal that the new dawn will herald the arrival of long overdue success.This week, not only do Tom and Jon have a lovely chat with acclaimed author and current Richard and Judy Book Club pick Mike Gayle...but Jon also discusses his submissions to some actual writing competitions. AND Tom talks a bit more about the book he's actually published!Oh, and Dave's there too.Mike's latest novel:A Song of Me and You: a heartfelt and romantic novel of first love and second chances, picked for the Richard & Judy Book Clubhttps://amzn.eu/d/2DqUyK9Or see more at www.mikegayle.co.uk"Under A Blood Red Sun" from Aaron Brooks in our WIP up a storm feature.TOM'S BOOK - If you can't be bothered to go to Amazon and put in "Two Hour Sales Bible" then here's a link to it - GO AND BUY IT! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If we were really clever, we'd have written the show notes for this week's episode in the form of a cryptic crossword clue in honour of our guest, Samuel Burr.We spoke to him about his debut novel "The Fellowship of Puzzle Makers", his frankly unbelievable journey to getting published and even had a chat about all things cryptic.But, unfortunately, we're not really clever...so we didn't.Which makes Tom's incredible publishing news even more puzzling!Find Sam's already bestselling novel hereOr... if you're feeling adventurous, join an exclusive club and be one of the few to buy a copy of Tom's hilarious satire on the world of sales and salespeople...PAPERBACK - KINDLE - AUDIO BOOKHere's the link to Writers HQ - Write a Novel Month Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The average age of our guests this week is 64. Nothing too amazing about that you might say… until you find out the first of our two guests is in her mid-twenties! This week we ask, “Is there a best age to write?”Plus we enjoy a WIP from Geoffrey G N Harrison. And here's a load of links…Check out Aline's YouTube here!Here's Aline's ToktokHere's Babette's new book and her website: https://www.babettehughesbooks.comAnd you can read more of Geoff's story "Divided" here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Would you like a pun? Well, that's handy because this week we've been punning for gold and ended up with a bucket load.Director, writer and stand up comedian Darren Walsh chats to us about his career, the art of a good pun and whether AI will ever be funnier than him.Plus Jon comes up with what is almost certainly not an entirely new form of joke!Find out more about Darren here...https://darrenwalsh.co.ukHere's Darren doing his award winning joke (and some others) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever been to Scarfolk? It's a strange, yet hauntingly familiar place. Join us as we take a bus trip into the mind of the man who dreamt it all up, Richard Littler.Plus we take a look at another listener's bit o' writing they've kindly sent in to share with the class. This week we try and make Madelyn Postman cry...Find out more about Richard here...https://scarfolk.blogspot.comand here...https://www.richardlittler.com/And thanks Mark@getcarterproductions.co.uk for letting us use those bangin' music tracks in Data Double! https://www.totim.audio/music Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If comedy writing is your thing, we've got a real treat for you. This week we talk to the super talented and rather prolific Robert Popper. From how he broke into the industry via Steve Coogan and The Comic Strip to his smash hit sitcom Friday Night Dinner. We also chat about Robin Cooper, The Timewaster Letters, South Park, Look Around You, and plenty more besides.Robert's Wikipedia Plus, in our regular 'Dare To Share' feature (where we have a look at what our listeners have been writing, read it out, then discuss it) we look at an excerpt from J. Aaron Courts' 'Hot Box'.See more from Aaron here:https://www.instagram.com/aaron.courts/ https://aaroncourts.substack.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The great Carl Reiner once said “Improvisation is just writing in front of an audience”.  So we figured if we could brush up on our improv skills it's bound to make us better writers... right? This week improv extraordinaire, and official Comedy Store Player, Ruth Bratt talks to us about her life, her craft and the eating habits of her cat... before putting us to the test with our own improvised play. What could possibly go wrong? Go and see Ruth with the legendary Comedy Store Players here: https://comedystoreplayers.com Get your ticket for Showstopper! The Improvised Musical here: https://showstopperthemusical.com

Unfortunately we're not able to include show notes this week, for legal reasons. Thanks for listening. www.floraopil.com Find out more about Flora here

Writing can be a solitary business. All those hours spent with nothing but a blank page and a bottomless coffee cup. On reflection we reckon it's probably good to interact with other human beings occasionally. It can stop you going full fruit-loops. (You know...dressing as your main character and wandering around the house talking to yourself.) It can help you find friendly Alpha / Beta readers. It can boost the learnies. It can even help you become more productive... apparently. So this week, we thought we'd have a look at the benefits of reaching out to other writers. Be it through communities like Writers' HQ, classes, retreats or social media. And in the process we stumble across a writer who is living proof of just how beneficial reaching out to others can be...and then some! Check out Writers' HQ here: https://writershq.co.uk Buy Sam's excellent book here: https://geni.us/Puzzlemakers And thanks to Jennifer Last for sharing her excellent Not Dead Girl extract!

Join Tom & Jon on another rambly exploration. This time we're off back to the 1840s to take a good, hard look at the Brontë sisters. Who were Charlotte, Emily and Anne Brontë? What were they like? How is it possible that three sisters all wrote so brilliantly? Why are they still so revered by readers across the world? and what was the deal with Branwell? Pack a rain coat, a poetry book and a flask of tea and come with us o'er the moors, as we chat to experts: biographer - Lucasta Miller, English Lit Professor - Gregory Dart, and the lovely folk at the Brontë Museum in Haworth, to learn more about these fascinating and extraordinary writers. Lucasta's Website: https://www.lucastamiller.com/theauthor Buy The Brontë Myth: https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/355538/the-bronte-myth-by-lucasta-miller/9780099287148 Visit The Brontë Parsonage Museum: https://www.bronte.org.uk And thank you to Professor Gregory Dart - a total legend. See him give Philomena Cunk a run for her money here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beP0rZIITmI

As an aspiring young writer it's easy to be put off by even the most well intentioned constructive criticism...what's not so easy is to revisit that critique many years later and be inspired to write a novel that has publishers literally fighting each other for the chance to print it. Join us for a fascinating interview as Jessica Bull, author of the much anticipated "Miss Austen Investigates" describes the downs and very significant ups of her writing journey. Buy Miss Austen Investigates here:  https://shor.by/MissAusten Jessica's soash: Twitter: @NovelistJessica (https://twitter.com/NovelistJessica) Instagram: @jessicabullnovelist (https://www.instagram.com/jessicabullnovelist/) author pic by Cassie Baruc

Aaaaaand we're back! The Failing Writers return for what some are calling the fourth season of this spectacular podcast. We look forward to a whole new smorgasbord of writing tips, challenges, goals and cock-ups plus a raft of interviews with some of the biggest names in the writing world. Starting with a real corker courtesy of writer, presenter and thoroughly lovely fella Danny Wallace. So hold tight and keep your legs and elbows tucked in at all times... it's gonna be a hell of a ride! Danny stuff: https://dannywallace.com Preorder Danny's new book here: https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/393456/somebody-told-me-by-wallace-danny/9781529931181 Phil Oddy's Echoes: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Echoes-Entanglement-Book-Phil-Oddy/dp/B0CSRZVPQZ Danny's photo:  www.selashiloniphoto.com

Happy New Year Folks!  We continue our seasonal ghost stories with a handful of listener-written tales. So gather around the hearth with us again as we bring you a selection of eerie yarns, to make your timbers shiver. Massive thanks to our fantastic contributors: AB Finlayson:  https://abfinlayson.com    Threads: a.b.finlayson  Craig Margolis:  X: @damnblankpage Steve Salisbury: X: @SalisburyWriter   Threads: salisbury.writer Christian Fieldhouse Steven Stilbech:  X: @stilbech Simon Curtis:  X: @simonmcurtis Geoffrey G. N. Harrison:  https://www.deaf-duck.uk  Threads: gharrisonauthor (In this weeks episode, we also completely forgot to mention that Simon Curtis sent us a brilliant M.R. James Christmas picture quiz!  Check the blog to see how many M.R. James stories you can recognise from his natty little sketch!)  A history of ventriloquist dummies coming to life: It appears Gerald Kersh was one of the first to publish such a story in 1939 called “The Extraordinarily Horrible Dummy," this was adapted by screenwriter John Baines for the Dead of Night movie. Dead of Night Movie https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_of_Night Magic https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_(1978_film) Goosebumps https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goosebumps_(film)

Please accept this as a most cordial invitation to accompany Jon, Tom and as yet unnamed guests for an evening of traditional ghost story telling. We have chosen the most atmospheric venue we could acquire at short notice and now request your company, to consummate this joyously Victorian Christmas night of heebiejeebies. Please bring only yourself. We shall provide the spirits. Talking Scared: https://talkingscaredpod.com/about/ Michelle Paver: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/talking-scared/id1530064310?i=1000638347893 The King: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/talking-scared/id1530064310?i=1000623833730 Dark Matter: https://michellepaver.com/dark-matter/ ‘Cherry Ripe' Painting https://fineartamerica.com/featured/cherry-ripe-detail-john-everett-millais.html

Alec Worley is an award-lacking (his own words!) author from South London. He writes comics, fiction and audio drama about swords, fangs and lasers. He's best known for his work on 2000 AD (home of Judge Dredd), Star Wars, and for legendary horror director John Carpenter. He's one of those really annoyingly talented people, with an eye for story and an ear for dialogue. You know the ones. He's also a dead nice bloke. You can read his newsletter, ‘Agent of Weird: Exploring the Write Fantastic' (alecworley.substack.com) Or find out more on his website alecworley.com Linktree: https://linktr.ee/AlecWorley

Out of the blue, someone sent us a game. A game all about words and etymology and language - the very stuff we LOVE. So, we decided that we'd get together and play the game to see if it's any good, and have a chat with the bloke who created it. That game is The League of the Lexicon. That bloke is Joshua Blackburn and this is the podcast where all of the above takes place. To try your hand at a few questions and maybe even win a copy of the game - click here! Here's where you can find out more about the game, and maybe even order one.

We couldn't let the amazing stories that made it to the final short-list go un-read and un-heard... so here they are. Plus there's a nice little chat with the overall winner of our £500 prize, Manu St Thomas. Enjoy!! Still not had your fix? Geddaload o' these beauties.... "God of Ramen" (shortlisted for a Flash Fiction Magazine competition in 2022) - https://flashfictionmagazine.com/blog/2022/11/10/god-of-ramen/  "I Have an Invisible Cat" (nr. 7, winner of the Globe Soup July 2022 micro-fiction challenge) - https://www.globesoup.net/cats  "The Man Who Married the Sea" (nr. 10, winner of the Globe Soup May 2022 micro-fiction challenge) - https://www.globesoup.net/blue  "Dinner" - https://101words.org/dinner/ 

NaNoWrimOhNo!  It's that time of year again when words-per-day becomes the currency.  So we thought we'd bring you even more words... Words of novel-writing wisdom!  No, no... not from us... obviously.  From novelist and longtime book editor Howard Mittelmark.  Co-writer of How NOT to Write A Novel.  A fantastic book full of the pitfalls most writers fall into when they're setting off along the long and arduous road to Novelton, Nebraska. So join us for some entertaining and enlightening chitchat, and learn things about yourself you've long suspected, but have been deliberately ignoring for years. We can't guarantee any of this will help with your word count, but we all need to take breaks, right? How Not To Write A Novel: https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/56677/how-not-to-write-a-novel-by-sandra-newman-howard-mittelmark/9780141038544 Howard's novel -  'Written Out': https://www.amazon.co.uk/Written-Out-Howard-Mittelmark/dp/157962572X Hire Howard... https://howardmittelmark.com/editorial/ National Novel Writing Month: https://nanowrimo.org

With the help of two expert spookologists: Stephen Volk - horror writer & mastermind behind the BBCs infamous 'GHOSTWATCH', and Dr Ciaran O'Keeffe - famed ghostbuster & parapsychologist, we're attempting to figure out what gives us the heebie jeebies, so that we can all go away and write the world's GREATEST EVER GHOST STORY. That invitation extends to you too, listeners!  We want your submissions for our Traditional Ghost Story Christmas Special later in the year. So get writing - and hopefully we can all sit down round the fire and share a little anthology of all our spooky stories in December. Here's the link to buy Stephen's brilliant new ghost story book: http://tartaruspress.com/volk-the-good-unknown.html Coffinmaker's Blues, Stephen's excellent book of horror essays: https://www.pspublishing.co.uk/coffinmakers-blues-ebook-by-stephen-volk-5605-p.asp and Stephen's website: https://www.stephenvolk.net/the-good-unknown.html Also, Afterlife: Lost Loved Ones is out on audiobook (Bafflegab) on Halloween! Don't forget you can also follow what Ciaran's up to on Twitter / X https://twitter.com/ciaranokeeffe?lang=en and don't miss him on Danny Robbins new TV series Uncanny: https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001rckl/uncanny-series-1-1-case-1-miss-howard  

Well... there's a lot of talk about whether it's right or wrong to use AI to write your book for you. But that's not what this episode is about really.  I mean, we touch on that and discuss it. You can't just ignore the moral questions, can you? But we mostly have a natter with Andy Stanton. An author of some repute. He's written a new book, using ChatGPT, but perhaps not quite as you would imagine. Benny The Blue Whale is a journey through the workings of the mind of a genius writer, and through the "mind" of ChatGPT. https://oneworld-publications.com/work/benny-the-blue-whale/ Episode cover image created using https://hotpot.ai/

AND THE WINNER IS......... announced in the podcast. Plus the runners up and some highly commended entries, and as many of the superb entries that we can mention.  It's been a brilliant comp this year - with some amazing stories submitted. Listen to see if you've won, and to hear the winning entries in all their glory! Huge thanks to our judge, Kathy Hoyle - and to our brilliant sponsors Scrivener! https://kathyhoyle.com/ https://www.literatureandlatte.com/

October 14th is BOOKSHOP DAY!  So here's a little episode... well... it started out as a little episode... to celebrate the humble bookshop. Jon visits his local store to find out more about the art of selling paper and ink. In the process discovering the formula for writing the quintessential indie bookshop bestseller.  The boys share the names of the bookshops they would open and.. well gosh... they just... have so many incisive and fascinating things to say about books and writing and candles and shelving... so... you definitely won't want to miss any of it.  And then... as if you're not already stuffed to the very brim with amazing podcast content... off we go... on a whistle stop tour of THE GREATEST BOOKSHOPS ON THE PLANET. We're too good to you.  We really are. Jon's local: https://www.grovebookshop.com Goldfinch Books in Alton: https://www.goldfinch-books.com Bookshop.org: https://uk.bookshop.org El Ateneo Grand Splendid in Buenos Aires: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/El_Ateneo_Grand_Splendid Shakespeare and Company in Paris: https://www.shakespeareandcompany.com Livraria Lello in Porto: https://www.livrarialello.pt/en/home Barter Books in Alnwick: https://www.barterbooks.co.uk Also... don't forget you can get 20% off Scrivener if you're quick! 'urry up and go to https://www.literatureandlatte.com, Hit '+Add Discount' on the pay page - and use the code FAILING The lovely pastel picture of Grove Bookshop used for the episode art is by Jon's dad, Clive Rand.  Who sells all his work to raise money for The Royal National Lifeboat Institution. https://www.cliverand.com

This week we're out and about tracking down poetry for National Poetry Day 2023. We take to the Yorkshire hills in search of the Stanza Stones. Join us on our adventure and help us celebrate some of the work of our current Poet Laureate, Simon Armitage. http://www.stanzastones.co.uk/ https://www.simonarmitage.com/

Imagine being a writer and not actually writing! Oh wait.  That's us. Imagine being a writer and NOT BEING ABLE TO WRITE! That was Oli.  He had a 10 month long migraine that almost literally killed him. Listen to his fascinating story and hear how he tried to made sense of it all through his autofiction book: Train Lord.  We talk about writing the truth, finding roots, failed orgies and about just how bloody hard writing can be. You can buy Oli's fantastic book Train Lord direct from: Penguin UK: https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/444219/train-lord-by-mol-oliver/9780241525081 Penguin Australia: https://www.penguin.com.au/books/train-lord-9780241525074 As well as all the usual places. Plus we remind you, as if you needed reminding, about our £500 flash fiction contest in association with the wonderful Scrivener app. For 20% off Scrivener in September... 'urry up and go to https://www.literatureandlatte.com, Hit '+Add Discount' on the pay page - and use the code FAILING You're absolutely bloody welcome. x

Hello again. This time out we're having a nice sit down with author Emma Healey. Her debut novel, Elizabeth is Missing, (which has been described as "bloody brilliant, honestly, you should read it Tom, it's funny and sad and intriguing. Proper mint it is.") has sold over a million copies and won the Costa First Novel Award. Plus it ended up being made into a film by the BBC, starring the late Glenda Jackson, who it turns out performed her own stunts. (That will make sense when you listen) Find out more about Emma here... https://www.emmahealey.co.uk/ Here's where you can support Alzheimer's Society... https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/navigation/make-donation and don't even think about forgetting to remember the Failing Writers Podcast £500, 500 word Flash Fiction Competition in association with Scrivener*. (*An amazing writing app that facilitates the makey-upping of books a whole tonne-load. Which suggests you should really go to https://www.literatureandlatte.com, Hit '+Add Discount' on the pay page - use the code FAILING and get 20% off the indispensable Scrivener app!)

DO YOU LIKE WRITING? DO YOU LIKE FREE MONEY? WHAT ABOUT HILARIOUS AND GOBSMACKING PODCASTING? Yeah? Well then blummin' well enter the Failing Writers Podcast £500, 500 word Flash Fiction Competition in association with Scrivener, you noodle-face. PLUS make writing easier and go to https://www.literatureandlatte.com, Hit '+Add Discount' on the pay page - use the code FAILING and get 20% off the indispensable Scrivener app! But before you do any of that... listen to this episode! Not only will you hear the phrase you have to use in your story. You will also hear an amazetesticles chat with the fabulously talented, award winning flash fiction writer Kathy Hoyle - who's basically going to tell you how to win.  I mean, you'd be a proper nugget-munch to miss that one, wouldn't you? CHECK OUT THE BLOG POST FOR ALL THE T's AND ALL THE C's Kathy's website: https://kathyhoyle.com Flash Face Off!: https://writershq.co.uk/creative-writing-retreats/flash-face-off-challenges/ Kathy's Top Ten Tips for Writing Flash: https://writershq.co.uk/ten-top-tips-for-writing-flash-fiction/ Kathy's astonishing little novella in flash book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0C79T4QVP?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_JGN4ZF0ESYQY0BC3KFDZ

This time out we chat with award-winning, best-selling Patrick Ness. Author of young adult books, including The Chaos Walking trilogy and A Monster Calls -  his newest book Different For Boys - as well as books for adults n all, like. https://www.goodreads.com/shelf/show/patrick-ness (Not to be confused with Patrick Nest, a bee keeper from Godalming, Surrey. Although, I'm not sure how you could become confused, they've got completely different names). https://patrickness.com/ Also this episode, we've got a rather chilling listener WIP from Kalina Holzapfel.