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Delanie Fischer chats with Elliott Connie, Psychotherapist and renowned leader in the field of Solution Focused Brief Therapy, about shifting the questions we ask ourselves in order to transform our lives. They discuss the difference between comfort and happiness, how to go deeper in times of indecision and struggle, and simple practices and rituals that create lasting change. Discussed in this episode: SFBT and The Diamond Approach Rejecting Perfect Timing Syndrome Has What You Want Changed? And Can You Trust It? The Worst Question We Ask Ourselves Comfort vs. Happiness (and Why Comfort Can Kill Us) Will Therapy As We Know It Become Obsolete? Can't Do It In The Ideal Way? Do It A Little Bit. What's Your Version of Sunday Pizza Night? Capitalism, Social Media & Pursuing What Matters The Toughest Life Lesson Elliott's Learned ---- If Self-Helpless has supported you in some way, a quick 5-star rating or review (if you haven't already) means so much! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/self-helpless/id1251196416 Free goodies including The Quote Buffet and The Watch & Read List: https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/ Ad-free episodes now available on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless Your Host, Delanie Fischer: https://www.delaniefischer.com ---- Episodes related to this topic: Release Your Perfectionism Handbrake: Power Planning, Clean Rest, and Demystifying Procrastination with Sam Laura Brown: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/22e1c287/release-your-perfectionism-handbrake-power-planning-clean-rest-and-demystifying-procrastination-with-sam-laura-brown Cracking The Code To Behavior Change: Troubleshooting Tiny Barriers That Destroy Big Goals with Molly Maxwell: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/24e651e8/cracking-the-code-to-behavior-change-troubleshooting-tiny-barriers-that-destroy-big-goals-with-molly-maxwell 10 Fascinating Tricks For More Wins And Improved Well-Being with Janice Kaplan: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/23c60009/10-fascinating-tricks-for-more-wins-and-improved-well-being-with-janice-kaplan Need a Strong Dose of Optimism? 5 Tips for an Instant Perspective Shift with Bill Burke: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/255fd6bc/need-a-strong-dose-of-optimism-5-tips-for-an-instant-perspective-shift-with-bill-burke Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Take care of your brain; it's part of your body.Text me at 972-426-2640 so we can stay connected!Support me on Patreon!Twitter: @elliottspeaksInstagram: @elliottspeaks Text me at 972-426-2640 so we can stay connected!Support me on Patreon!Twitter: @elliottspeaksInstagram: @elliottspeaks
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Discussing mental health is not weakness.Text me at 972-426-2640 so we can stay connected!Support me on Patreon!Twitter: @elliottspeaksInstagram: @elliottspeaks Text me at 972-426-2640 so we can stay connected!Support me on Patreon!Twitter: @elliottspeaksInstagram: @elliottspeaks
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My whole life became different when I was open and willing to make changes that were more in line with my desired outcomes. So whatever your version is, get out there and go do it. Have the courage to make a change. Text me at 972-426-2640 so we can stay connected!Support me on Patreon!Twitter: @elliottspeaksInstagram: @elliottspeaks
Guest: Elliott Connie — psychotherapist, best-selling author, and global leader in Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT). In this episode, Elliott breaks down how asking the right questions can create powerful shifts in healing, relationships, and life direction. With over 20 years of experience, he shows why focusing on strengths and desired outcomes leads to transformation faster than traditional models of therapy. 3 Powerful Takeaways The questions you ask shape your future. Change begins by focusing on outcomes, not problems. Lasting relationships thrive on reciprocity, not blame. Main Topics 1. The Power of Empowering Questions (04:06 – 08:19) Instead of asking “Why are you here?” SFBT starts with “What are your best hopes from being here?” This reframes therapy from problem-focused to solution-oriented. “A conversation about difference will lead towards differences. A conversation about problems will lead towards more problems.” 2. The Three Life-Changing Questions (12:58 – 15:08) Elliott introduces three essential questions to break free from stuck patterns: Who am I really? What do I want? Who do I need to become to achieve it? Writing these down sparks clarity and subconscious action toward change. “You can't stay the same and expect things around you to get different.” 3. Relationships and Reciprocity (24:22 – 28:51) The biggest mistake couples make is waiting for their partner to change first. Elliott emphasizes showing up differently yourself and trusting reciprocity to build momentum. “Anytime you want something from your partner, that's actually an indicator you're not doing that for them.” ✨ Notable Closing Insight: When trapped in the “someday” mindset, ask: “Suppose your partner never changes, how would you notice yourself being your very best even then?” Connections: Visit us: MarniBattista.Com Ready To Create Your Corporate Escape Plan? Book A Call With MeTake the Quiz: Unlock the shocking truth about how your unique personality type is silently shaping your future Buy Your Radical Living Challenge: 7 Questions For Living The Meaningful LifeAbout Elliott ConnieChange Your Question, Change Your Future Family TherapyAha! Moments Podcast with Elliott Connie
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It is never too late to change. In the words of Tasha Smith, "Close your eyes and dream, and let what you dream about be your guide." Text me at 972-426-2640 so we can stay connected!Support me on Patreon!Twitter: @elliottspeaksInstagram: @elliottspeaks
When it comes to big life decisions, make sure you are not being overly influenced by outside voices who want something different for you. You are your own person and you get to make your own decisions about what you want to do and who you want to be. Text me at 972-426-2640 so we can stay connected!Support me on Patreon!Twitter: @elliottspeaksInstagram: @elliottspeaks
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