Podcast appearances and mentions of Sonja Lyubomirsky

Links For The Occult Rejectshttps://linktr.ee/theoccultrejectsOccult Research Institutehttps://www.occultresearchinstitute.org/Substackhttps://substack.com/@theoccultrejects?r=7auau0&utm_campaign=profile&utm_medium=profile-pageCash Apphttps://cash.app/$theoccultrejectsVenmo@TheOccultRejectsBuy Me A Coffeebuymeacoffee.com/TheOccultRejectsPatreonhttps://www.patreon.com/TheOccultRejectsBibliographyCurses, Blessings, and Ritual HarmCannon, Walter B. “‘Voodoo' Death.” American Anthropologist 44, no. 2 (1942): 169–181.Faraone, Christopher A. Ancient Greek Love Magic. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1999.Gager, John G., ed. Curse Tablets and Binding Spells from the Ancient World. New York: Oxford University Press, 1992.Graf, Fritz. Magic in the Ancient World. Translated by Franklin Philip. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1997.Ogden, Daniel. Magic, Witchcraft, and Ghosts in the Greek and Roman Worlds: A Sourcebook. 2nd ed. New York: Oxford University Press, 2009.Stratton, Kimberly B., and Dayna S. Kalleres, eds. Daughters of Hecate: Women and Magic in the Ancient World. New York: Oxford University Press, 2014.Tambiah, Stanley Jeyaraja. “The Magical Power of Words.” Man 3, no. 2 (1968): 175–208.Placebo, Nocebo, and Medical CommunicationBarsky, Arthur J., Ralph Saintfort, Malcolm P. Rogers, and Jonathan F. Borus. “Nonspecific Medication Side Effects and the Nocebo Phenomenon.” JAMA 287, no. 5 (2002): 622–627.Benedetti, Fabrizio. Placebo Effects: Understanding the Mechanisms in Health and Disease. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2009.Benedetti, Fabrizio, Marina Lanotte, Lorella Lopiano, and Luana Colloca. “When Words Are Painful: Unraveling the Mechanisms of the Nocebo Effect.” Neuroscience 147, no. 2 (2007): 260–271.Colloca, Luana, and Fabrizio Benedetti. “Nocebo Hyperalgesia: How Anxiety Is Turned into Pain.” Current Opinion in Anaesthesiology 20, no. 5 (2007): 435–439.Colloca, Luana, and Damien Finniss. “Nocebo Effects, Patient–Clinician Communication, and Therapeutic Outcomes.” JAMA 307, no. 6 (2012): 567–568.Colloca, Luana, and Franklin G. Miller. “The Nocebo Effect and Its Relevance for Clinical Practice.” Psychosomatic Medicine 73, no. 7 (2011): 598–603.Enck, Paul, Fabrizio Benedetti, and Manfred Schedlowski. “New Insights into the Placebo and Nocebo Responses.” Neuron 59, no. 2 (2008): 195–206.Häuser, Winfried, Ernil Hansen, and Paul Enck. “Nocebo Phenomena in Medicine: Their Relevance in Everyday Clinical Practice.” Deutsches Ärzteblatt International 109, no. 26 (2012): 459–465.Inner Speech and DevelopmentFernyhough, Charles. The Voices Within: The History and Science of How We Talk to Ourselves. New York: Basic Books, 2016.Vygotsky, Lev S. Thought and Language. Revised and expanded ed. Edited and translated by Alex Kozulin. Cambridge, MA: MIT Press, 1986.Winsler, Adam, Charles Fernyhough, and Ignacio Montero, eds. Private Speech, Executive Functioning, and the Development of Verbal Self-Regulation. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2009.Rumination and Repetitive Negative ThinkingBrosschot, Jos F., Bart Verkuil, and Julian F. Thayer. “Conscious and Unconscious Perseverative Cognition: Is a Large Part of Prolonged Physiological Activity Due to Unconscious Stress?” Journal of Psychosomatic Research 69, no. 4 (2010): 407–416.Ehring, Thomas, and Edward R. Watkins. “Repetitive Negative Thinking as a Transdiagnostic Process.” International Journal of Cognitive Therapy 1, no. 3 (2008): 192–205.Nolen-Hoeksema, Susan. “Responses to Depression and Their Effects on the Duration of Depressive Episodes.” Journal of Abnormal Psychology 100, no. 4 (1991): 569–582.Nolen-Hoeksema, Susan, Blair E. Wisco, and Sonja Lyubomirsky. “Rethinking Rumination.” Perspectives on Psychological Science 3, no. 5 (2008): 400–424.Smith, Jeannette M., and Lauren B. Alloy. “A Roadmap to Rumination: A Review of the Definition, Assessment, and Conceptualization of This Multifaceted Construct.” Clinical Psychology Review 29, no. 2 (2009): 116–128.Treynor, Wendy, Richard Gonzalez, and Susan Nolen-Hoeksema. “Rumination Reconsidered: A Psychometric Analysis.” Cognitive Therapy and Research 27, no. 3 (2003): 247–259.Watkins, Edward R. “Constructive and Unconstructive Repetitive Thought.” Psychological Bulletin 134, no. 2 (2008): 163–206.Watkins, Edward R. Rumination-Focused Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Depression. New York: Guilford Press, 2016.Self-Talk and PerformanceHardy, James. “Speaking Clearly: A Critical Review of the Self-Talk Literature.” Psychology of Sport and Exercise 7, no. 1 (2006): 81–97.Hatzigeorgiadis, Antonis, Nikos Zourbanos, Evangelos Galanis, and Yiannis Theodorakis. “Self-Talk and Sports Performance: A Meta-Analysis.” Perspectives on Psychological Science 6, no. 4 (2011): 348–356.Theodorakis, Yiannis, Antonis Hatzigeorgiadis, and Nikos Zourbanos. “Cognition: Self-Talk and Performance.” In The Oxford Handbook of Sport and Performance Psychology, edited by Shane M. Murphy. New York: Oxford University Press, 2012.Affect Labeling, Emotion, and LanguageBarrett, Lisa Feldman. “Solving the Emotion Paradox: Categorization and the Experience of Emotion.” Personality and Social Psychology Review 10, no. 1 (2006): 20–46.Lieberman, Matthew D., Naomi I. Eisenberger, Molly J. Crockett, Sabrina M. Tom, Jennifer H. Pfeifer, and Baldwin M. Way. “Putting Feelings into Words: Affect Labeling Disrupts Amygdala Activity in Response to Affective Stimuli.” Psychological Science 18, no. 5 (2007): 421–428.Lindquist, Kristen A., Lisa Feldman Barrett, Eliza Bliss-Moreau, and James A. Russell. “Language and the Perception of Emotion.” Emotion 6, no. 1 (2006): 125–138.Torre, Jared B., and Matthew D. Lieberman. “Putting Feelings into Words: Affect Labeling as Implicit Emotion Regulation.” Emotion Review 10, no. 2 (2018): 116–124.Self-Distancing and Reflective ProcessingAyduk, Özlem, and Ethan Kross. “From a Distance: Implications of Spontaneous Self-Distancing for Adaptive Self-Reflection.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 98, no. 5 (2010): 809–829.Kross, Ethan, and Özlem Ayduk. “Making Meaning out of Negative Experiences by Self-Distancing.” Current Directions in Psychological Science 20, no. 3 (2011): 187–191.Kross, Ethan, Özlem Ayduk, and Walter Mischel. “When Asking ‘Why' Does Not Hurt: Distinguishing Rumination from Reflective Processing of Negative Emotions.” Psychological Science 16, no. 9 (2005): 709–715.Kross, Ethan, Emma Bruehlman-Senecal, Jiyoung Park, Aleah Burson, Adrienne Dougherty, Holly Shablack, Ryan Bremner, Jason Moser, and Özlem Ayduk. “Self-Talk as a Regulatory Mechanism: How You Do It Matters.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 106, no. 2 (2014): 304–324.Moser, Jason S., Adrienne Dougherty, Whitney I. Mattson, Benjamin Katz, Tim P. Moran, Darwin Guevarra, Hannah Shablack, et al. “Third-Person Self-Talk Facilitates Emotion Regulation Without Engaging Cognitive Control: Converging Evidence from ERP and fMRI.” Scientific Reports 7 (2017): 4519.Affirmation and Counter-IncantationCascio, Christopher N., Matthew B. O'Donnell, Francis J. Tinney Jr., Matthew D. Lieberman, Shelley E. Taylor, Victor J. Strecher, and Emily B. Falk. “Self-Affirmation Activates Brain Systems Associated with Self-Related Processing and Reward and Is Reinforced by Future Orientation.” Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience 11, no. 4 (2016): 621–629.Cohen, Geoffrey L., and David K. Sherman. “The Psychology of Change: Self-Affirmation and Social Psychological Intervention.” Annual Review of Psychology 65 (2014): 333–371.Wood, Joanne V., W. Q. Elaine Perunovic, and John W. Lee. “Positive Self-Statements: Power for Some, Peril for Others.” Psychological Science 20, no. 7 (2009): 860–866.Implementation Intentions and ActionGollwitzer, Peter M. “Implementation Intentions: Strong Effects of Simple Plans.” American Psychologist 54, no. 7 (1999): 493–503.Gollwitzer, Peter M., and Veronika Brandstätter. “Implementation Intentions and Effective Goal Pursuit.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 73, no. 1 (1997): 186–199.Gollwitzer, Peter M., and Paschal Sheeran. “Implementation Intentions and Goal Achievement: A Meta-Analysis of Effects and Processes.” Advances in Experimental Social Psychology 38 (2006): 69–119.Schweiger Gallo, Inge, Andreas Keil, Kathleen C. McCulloch, Brigitte Rockstroh, and Peter M. Gollwitzer. “Strategic Automation of Emotion Regulation.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 96, no. 1 (2009): 11–31.Ritual, Identity, and Psychological FormationBell, Catherine. Ritual Theory, Ritual Practice. New York: Oxford University Press, 1992.Hobson, Nicholas M., Juliana Schroeder, Jane L. Risen, Dimitris Xygalatas, and Michael Inzlicht. “The Psychology of Rituals: An Integrative Review and Process-Based Framework.” Personality and Social Psychology Review 22, no. 3 (2018): 260–284.Rappaport, Roy A. Ritual and Religion in the Making of Humanity. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1999.Xygalatas, Dimitris. Ritual: How Seemingly Senseless Acts Make Life Worth Living. New York: Little, Brown Spark, 2022.Also want to remind people about the website, if you're into reading we have tons of information by multiple contributors, and we got t-shirts up on the site if you're interested. Fun fact, the art is all based on the eyeball. 

Money, fame, and abs buy admiration, not intimacy. How to Feel Loved author Sonja Lyubomirsky reveals the five mindsets that make you feel loved.Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1373What We Discuss with Sonja Lyubomirsky:Being loved and feeling loved are two different things. Surveys found 70 percent of people can name a close relationship where the love just isn't landing. Someone can adore you completely, but if it never clears your firewall, you can feel utterly alone in a room full of people who care.The fix isn't becoming more lovable or overhauling your partner — it's changing the next conversation. A relationship is really just a series of conversations, which means feeling more loved is far more under your control than the entire self-help aisle wants you to believe.Money, status, and six-pack abs buy admiration, not intimacy — and admiration never makes anyone feel known. Optimizing your dating life like you're shopping for a used Porsche, chasing the mythical 'four sixes,' only builds a more elaborate CAPTCHA for loneliness.The five love languages are closer to pop theology than science. Researchers debunked the idea that partners must 'match' or the relationship is doomed. There are far more than five ways to connect, and the two everyone actually craves are simply quality time and words of affirmation.If you don't feel loved, go first. Get curious, listen to learn instead of to reply, share, and lead with warmth. Text that old friend, ask your parents real questions, break out the conversation cards. Connection is a skill, and every small drop counts.And much more...And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here — even one sentence helps! Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!Subscribe to our once-a-week Wee Bit Wiser newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom!Do you even Reddit, bro? Join us at r/JordanHarbinger!This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: BetterHelp: 10% off first month: betterhelp.com/jordanFactor: 50% off first box: factormeals.com/jordan50off, code JORDAN50OFFPaka: Paka hoodie & crew socks: go.pakaapparel.com/jordanProgressive Insurance: Free online quote: progressive.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When we look at the people we love, how clearly do we really see them? This week, we talk with psychologist Edward LeMay about how our fears, desires, and insecurities can shape our perceptions of our partners — sometimes creating the very reality we expect. He explains how we can learn to see our partners in ways that create greater trust and connection. Then, Sonja Lyubomirsky answers your questions about the gap between being loved and feeling loved, in our latest installment of "Your Questions Answered." If you enjoy listening to Hidden Brain, we think you'll enjoy watching it as well! Subscribe to our new YouTube channel at youtube.com/@hiddenbrain so you don't miss any of our videos.   Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

A researcher in the science of happiness has written a book that teaches us all how to feel more loved. Professor Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky says previous research on happiness has focused on the love we feel FOR others, but she makes the argument that what truly makes us happy Is the love we feel FROM others. How do we get that feeling? By changing our conversations. If we intentionally have conversations where we listen to learn, where we don’t interrupt or give advice or turn the topic to ourselves, our partners will feel more loved and, in turn, will become more willing and even eager to do the same for you.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A researcher in the science of happiness has written a book that teaches us all how to feel more loved. Professor Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky says previous research on happiness has focused on the love we feel FOR others, but she makes the argument that what truly makes us happy Is the love we feel FROM others. How do we get that feeling? By changing our conversations. If we intentionally have conversations where we listen to learn, where we don’t interrupt or give advice or turn the topic to ourselves, our partners will feel more loved and, in turn, will become more willing and even eager to do the same for you.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A researcher in the science of happiness has written a book that teaches us all how to feel more loved. Professor Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky says previous research on happiness has focused on the love we feel FOR others, but she makes the argument that what truly makes us happy Is the love we feel FROM others. How do we get that feeling? By changing our conversations. If we intentionally have conversations where we listen to learn, where we don’t interrupt or give advice or turn the topic to ourselves, our partners will feel more loved and, in turn, will become more willing and even eager to do the same for you.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A researcher in the science of happiness has written a book that teaches us all how to feel more loved. Professor Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky says previous research on happiness has focused on the love we feel FOR others, but she makes the argument that what truly makes us happy is the love we feel FROM others. How do we get that feeling? By changing our conversations. If we intentionally have conversations where we listen to learn, where we don’t interrupt or give advice or turn the topic to ourselves, our partners will feel more loved and, in turn, will become more willing and even eager to do the same for you.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every couple has to learn how to accept their differences. But when you're in a neurodiverse relationship, those differences aren't just quirks; they're completely different ways of experiencing the world. In this episode, we're getting real about love, autism, and how to actually understand each other in a conversation with psychologist and author Dr. Cindy Ariel, who drops by to chat about her book, Autism and the Two of Us. Cindy brings so many incredible insights to the table, including what autism actually is and why neurodiversity is just a normal variation of the human brain. She also gets into the nuances of identity-first vs. person-first language and why those choices matter, and busts some major myths and talks about redefining what "typical" love even looks like. Tune in for a genuinely eye-opening conversation on love, connection, and neurodiversity!Listen and Learn: Framing neurodiversity as the natural spectrum of variation in human minds Why the assumption that autistic individuals cannot sustain meaningful partnerships is a misconception The need to move away from standard expectations of romantic behavior, and why neurotypical and autistic partners often express love in vastly different ways Actionable insights on how partners can translate each other's emotional signals to build deeper connections How neurodiverse and neurotypical partners often interpret the same situation in vastly different, yet equally valid ways Moving past rigid expectations and deadlocks by co-creating custom, "third-way" solutions that meet both partners' unique emotional and practical needs Overcoming the "closeness communication bias" by learning to treat your partner how they want to be treated rather than relying on default assumptions Navigateing deep neurological differences by letting go of diagnostic labels and distinguishing between normal incompatibility versus toxic behaviorResources: Autism and the Two of Us: Love, Communication, and Neurodiversity https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/autism-and-the-two-of-us-how-understanding-each-other-can-help-you-build-a-stronger-lasting-love-cindy-n-ariel/b92004b21dec8780?ean=9781462560189&bkshp-astro=t alternativechoices.com Pre-order Yael's book and get pre-order bonuses! (order 12 or more copies and I'll join you on a Zoom for a 30-minute mini-workshop or Q&A!)About Cindy Ariel: Cindy Ariel is a Philadelphia-based psychologist who has spent more than three decades at the intersection of psychology, neurodiversity, and intimate relationships. In 1992, she cofounded Alternative Choices, an independent group psychology practice known for its work with LGBTQ families and with individuals on the autism spectrum. She is the author of several books on neurodivergent relationships, including her newest, Autism and the Two of Us: How Understanding Each Other Can Help You Build a Stronger, Lasting Love (Guilford Press). Dr. Ariel is widely recognized for her work with neurodiverse couples, combining clinical insight with advocacy for understanding, acceptance, and the celebration of all kinds of minds. She was doing this work long before most people had a framework for thinking about autism in adulthood. Learn more at alternativechoices.com.Related Episodes:186. Set Boundaries Find Peace with Nedra Tawwab263. Relationships with Emotionally Immature People with Lindsay Gibson449. How to Feel Loved with Sonja Lyubomirsky and Harry Reis467. Bonded by Evolution with Paul EastwickSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What's something that makes your life immeasurably better? For Shoshana, it's habits people often overlook, such as a good night's rest or a conversation with a friend. In this episode, Shoshana shares a TED Ed lesson on how practicing gratitude makes life more meaningful. Then, psychologist Sonja Lyubormisky talks about the science of happiness and why our relationships with others affect our health.Talks featuredSonja Lyubomirsky: 1 thing you can do today to be happierTED-Ed | How to increase your happiness Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sonja Lyubomirsky is a psychologist, professor, and author. What does it really mean to feel loved? People say "I love you" all the time, but why doesn't it always register? Why can someone love you deeply, yet you still don't feel it? What does real love actually feel like? Expect to learn if there is a commonality between all of the happiness interventions out there, why feeling loved is important, how self-esteem and self-love are related, why having a sharing mindset is so important, what it actually means to be understood, the things that make you happier you might be overlooking, and much more... Sponsors: See discounts for all the products I use and recommend: ⁠⁠https://chriswillx.com/deals⁠⁠ Timestamps: (0:00) Why Do We Need to Feel Loved? (2:51) Don't Spend Your Life Trying to Be Loveable (5:22) What It Really Means to Feel Loved (6:36) The Biggest Ways Push Love Away (9:39) Do Self-Esteem Interventions Exist? (13:43) Is Romantic Love the Most Important Type of Love? (16:20) The Words More Powerful Than ‘I Love You' (18:10) Why Receiving Love Is a Skill (19:24) The Importance of a Sharing Mindset (24:35) Are Vulnerable People More Likeable? (30:09) Why Validation Changes Everything (32:54) Is Therapy Speak Helping or Hurting? (36:59) We Need to Ask Deeper Questions (40:03) Why Multiplicity Can Be So Hard (44:07) The Strongest Predictors of Relationship Success (48:51) Should Everything Be Reciprocal? (55:24) The Habits That Make You Feel Loved (58:34) The Most Fascinating Study Sonja Has Conducted (01:01:17) Is This the Best Definition For Introvert and Extrovert? (01:05:23) The Biggest Misconception About Happiness (01:08:56) What Should We Prioritise to Be Happy? (01:11:19) Where to Find Sonja Extra Stuff: Get my free reading list of 100 books to read before you die: ⁠⁠https://chriswillx.com/books⁠⁠ Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic: ⁠⁠https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom⁠⁠ Episodes You Might Enjoy: #577 - David Goggins - This Is How To Master Your Life: ⁠⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Goggins⁠⁠ #712 - Dr Jordan Peterson - How To Destroy Your Negative Beliefs: ⁠⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Peterson⁠⁠ #700 - Dr Andrew Huberman - The Secret Tools To Hack Your Brain: ⁠⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Huberman⁠⁠ - Get In Touch: Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx⁠⁠ Twitter: ⁠⁠https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast⁠⁠ Email: ⁠⁠https://chriswillx.com/contact⁠⁠ - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest is joined by one of the world's leading happiness researchers, Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, to discuss the real secret to happiness: feeling loved. Dr. Lyubomirsky explains the key difference between being loved and feeling loved, why self-improvement (usually) isn't the answer, and how giving love leads to getting love. They then walk through five mindsets that help people both get more love and feel more loved. Other topics include the vulnerability paradox, capitalization and the importance of enthusiasm, using the mindsets to evaluate our relationships, polyamory and non-monogamous love, and AI companions. You can find Sonja's diagnostic quiz at howtofeelloved.com  About our Guest: Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky is a Professor of Psychology at UC Riverside, and the author of a number of bestselling books including How to Feel Loved with Dr. Harry Reis. She is one of the most frequently cited well-being researchers in the world. Key Topics: 0:00: Intro: connection as the key to happiness 2:31: The difference between being loved and feeling loved 6:58: What love is 9:09: If only beliefs and the vulnerability paradox 19:36: Mindsets to embrace if you're looking for more love and connection 23:26: The relationship “sea”saw 31:44: Five mindsets to embrace if you want to feel more loved 51:51: AI companionship, polyamory, and MDMA 1:08:03: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Visit Rula.com/BEINGWELL to find affordable, high-quality therapy that's actually covered by insurance.  Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Footie legend Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink gets us excited about the England World Cup game against Croatia.Awesome actor Himesh Patel lifts the lid on his huge new films, Enola Holmes 3 and The Odyssey.Super psychologist and best-selling author Sonja Lyubomirsky leafs through her relationship guide How to Feel Loved.Catch TFI Unplugged on Channel 4 at 11:05pm on Friday nights and on the Virgin Radio UK YouTube channel! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In deze aflevering draait alles om bezit, geld en materialisme. Eva gaat op bezoek bij Alain, een babyboomer en oude huisvriend, die als freelance fotograaf zijn hele leven heeft rondgereisd, gewerkt en gewoond op uiteenlopende plekken - van Saint-Tropez tot Portugal - zonder ooit een eigen huis te kopen of een gezin te stichten. Geen bewuste levenskeuze, maar gewoon hoe het leven liep. En toch blijkt hij, ondanks ziekte en momenten zonder geld, opvallend tevreden en zonder spijt. Samen onderzoeken we waarom babyboomers net de meest materialistische generatie werden na een jeugd als idealistische hippies, en wat dat ons leert over de relatie tussen bezit en geluk. Maaike duikt in onderzoek over materialisme als copingmechanisme en waarom geld uitgeven aan ervaringen en anderen je gelukkiger maakt dan uitgeven aan spullen. Ook delen, minimaliseren en het Japanse concept 'ma' (leegte) komen aan bod - net als de visie van het Generatie Alpha-panel, voor wie autodelen en tweedehands kopen allang de normaalste zaak van de wereld is. Extra bronnen: Onderzoek naar gehechtheid aan een plaats: Leila Scannell, Robert Gifford, Defining place attachment: A tripartite organizing framework, Journal of Environmental Psychology, Volume 30, Issue 1, 2010, Het boek ‘The high price of materialism’ van Tim Kasser Onderzoek van het Pew Research Center over Gen Z/millennials en kinderwens Elizabeth Dunn & Michael Norton schreven een boek over waar je best je geld aan uitgeeft om gelukkig te worden: Happy Money: The Science of Smarter Spending (2013). Sonja Lyubomirsky onderzocht agency en welzijn (o.a. info uit haar boek The How of Happiness, 2008). De Easterlin Paradox is door Richard Easterlin bedacht in 1974, het oorspronkelijk artikel heet "Does Economic Growth Improve the Human Lot?". Het onderzoek naar de capsule wardrobe van Aurora is dit: Bardey, A., Booth, M., Heger, G., & Larsson, J. (2022). "Finding yourself in your wardrobe: An exploratory study of lived experiences with a capsule wardrobe." International Journal of Market Research, 64(1), 113–131. Meer over vrijwillige eenvoud en welzijn vind je in dit overzichtsartikel “From Consumer Alienation to Voluntary Simplicity” (2025) See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Libro: https://amzn.to/3P23sfA ¿Es la felicidad algo con lo que se nace o se puede construir? En este episodio, desgloso las investigaciones de Sonja Lyubomirsky, doctora en psicología y referente mundial en la ciencia del bienestar. Exploramos por qué mudarte de ciudad o conseguir ese ascenso no te hará tan feliz como crees, el papel real de la genética en tu estado de ánimo y la herramienta número uno —respaldada por datos— para transformar tu satisfacción vital hoy mismo. Un análisis honesto sobre el dinero, el éxito y la conexión humana.

Sonja Lyubomirsky, happiness researcher and author of How to Feel Loved, joins Offline to explain the secret to living a contented life—and why the internet makes it so damn hard. If everyone we love and seek to impress is reachable at all times…why are Americans getting less happy, year after year? Sonja and Jon chat about how social media curation may be seeping offline, the ways our digital lives have affected our ability to form strong relationships, and whether AI could actually help bring under-socialized, under-romanced teens out of their shells.For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast, episode title, and episode date.

Why are so many of us are unknowingly blocking ourselves from feeling loved whilst desperately trying to chase it? Harry Reis is a renowned social psychologist and Professor at the University of Rochester who has spent decades researching love, intimacy, vulnerability, and what actually makes humans feel connected. He recently co-authored the book 'How to Feel More Loved' with Sonja Lyubomirsky, who is one of the world’s leading happiness researchers. Ripper collab right there, huh! We spoke about online dating checklists, social media validation, the weird performance of modern identity, AI relationships, conflict, growth, and the fear most of us carry that if people really knew us… they’d leave. Harry also dropped one idea worth pondering... that love isn’t just romance. It’s belonging... it's being seen, understood, valued, and safe enough to be fully human around other people. There’s also a lot in this one about the tension between comfort and growth too. Why relationships that never challenge us don’t actually deepen us. Why rupture and repair matters. Why conflict isn’t failure. And why the things that shape us most are usually the hard conversations, awkward truths, and moments where we stop hiding behind the polished version of ourselves. Also… we somehow ended up talking about robot partners, Star Trek, and whether AI could ever replace human love. So, there’s that... SPONSORED BY TESTART FAMILY LAWYERS Website: testartfamilylawyers.com.au HARRY REIS Website: howtofeelloved.com/ TIFFANEE COOK Linktree: linktr.ee/rollwiththepunches Website: tiffcook.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

"Almost all of the interventions that make us happier work because they make us feel more connected and more loved,' says Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D. Lyubomirsky is a Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Riverside, a Fellow of the American Association for the Advancement of Science, and the bestselling author of The How of Happiness and The Myths of Happiness—and her latest, How to Feel Loved (Harper Collins, 2026), paired with a mainstage TED talk. A Harvard and Stanford-trained scientist whose research has been featured in the New York Times, on podcasts, and in documentaries worldwide, she is one of the world's leading experts on the science of happiness 00:00 - What connects every happiness practice 03:24 - Why you should talk to strangers 04:41 - Kindness changes your DNA 08:32 - Money, power, & fame are overrated 10:36 - The case for reaching out to old friends 13:49 - Why 70% don't feel loved enough 17:03 - The walls we walk around with 18:52 - The radical curiosity mindset 23:55 - How to really listen  28:19 - AI as a companion 31:05 - The relationship SEAsaw 39:00 - When introverts act extroverted 43:40 - The conversation to have tomorrow Referenced in the episode:  For more about Lyubomirsky & her research, visit her website: https://sonjalyubomirsky.com/  Buy her new book: https://a.co/d/04sCyQSj  Listen to her mainstage TED talk: https://youtu.be/pdRWeK9f02w?si=1vV8cwwsSHeCMZ3y  For more about Nicholas Epley's research & upcoming book, visit his website: https://www.nicholasepley.com/ We hope you enjoy this episode, and feel free to watch the full video on YouTube! Whether it's an article or podcast, we want to know what we can do to help here at mindbodygreen. Let us know at: podcast@mindbodygreen.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why is it that so many of us are loved... and yet don't actually feel loved?Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky is a Professor of Psychology at UC Riverside and one of the world's leading researchers on happiness. Her newest book, How to Feel Loved, co-authored with relationship scientist Harry Reis, lands at a strange moment: a time when more people than ever say they are connected, and more people than ever say they don't actually feel it. In this conversation with Dr. Michael Gervais, Sonja offers a quietly radical reframe. After 36 years of studying what makes a life happy, she has come to believe the answer lies in this: Feeling loved.And here is where it gets interesting. Sonja's research is showing that feeling loved is not something we have to wait for. It's something we can help create. Most of us, when we sense the absence, default to one of two strategies. We try to be more lovable. Or we try to change the person on the other side. Sonja argues that neither one actually works. What changes a relationship is changing the conversation.She walks Mike through the five mindsets at the heart of the book: the sharing mindset, listening to learn, radical curiosity, open heart, and multiplicity. Along the way, they explore why most of us are listening to respond instead of listening to learn, the three words people actually want to hear (hint: it's not I love you), and why ‘tell me more' might be one of the most loving phrases in the English language. Sonja shares her foggy glass metaphor for why being known is the prerequisite to being loved, the Michelangelo effect, and a striking line the Dalai Lama once said to her about how we hold each other.The conversation also gets honest about the harder edges. Bridging political divides at the dinner table. Staying curious about a partner of 30 years. Navigating the modern questions around AI companions, monogamy, and what it means to really go deep with another human. And the research on what tiny acts of kindness, including the impact a 10-second compliment can have.If you've ever been surrounded by people who love you and still felt unseen, this conversation is a gentle invitation back in. The good news is that feeling loved is under your control, more than you think. Sonja's research will show you exactly where to start.Most of us are waiting to feel loved. Sonja shows us how to create the conditions for it... starting today._____________________________________________________Links & ResourcesThis episode is brought to you in part by our partner Sunlighten, the company that has pioneered infrared sauna technology. Go to https://findingmastery.com/sunlighten to see how you can save up to $2,200 on their mPulse Intelligent Sauna.Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for more conversations at the intersection of high performance, leadership, and wellbeing: https://www.youtube.com/c/FindingMastery Get exclusive discounts and support our amazing sponsors!Go to: https://findingmastery.com/sponsors/ Subscribe to the Finding Mastery newsletter for weekly high performance insights: https://www.findingmastery.com/newsletter Download Dr. Mike's Morning Mindset Routine: findingmastery.com/morningmindsetFollow on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, and XBook: How to Feel Loved by Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky and Harry Reis. Learn more and take the mindset quiz at howtofeellove.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In her new book she argues that if you want to feel more loved, you don't need to change yourself, you don't need to change the other person (which is sure to backfire!). You just need to change the conversation. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In episode three of this five-part series, John, Blaine, and Allen talk about additional ways to reorder our internal world. What do our loves and emotions reveal about us? Why do grace and forgiveness change us from the inside out? And how can what upsets us expose our disordered desires—and provide an opportunity for healing?Show Notes: The book referenced is The How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky. The C. S. Lewis essay is “The Trouble with ‘X.'” The Wild at Heart podcast with Mary Ellen Owen is “How Can You Survive Without...?” - Part 2 (Episode 846). The Emotions Wheel is available here. Send your questions about this series to questions@WildatHeart.org. Keywords: Spiritual Warfare, Christianity, Internal World, Emotional Regulation, Emotions Wheel, Forgiveness_______________________________________________There is more.Got a question you want answered on the podcast? Ask us at Questions@WildatHeart.orgSupport the mission or find more on our website:WildAtHeart.org  or on our app.Apple: Wild At Heart AppAndroid: Wild At Heart AppWatch on YouTubeThe stock music used in the Wild at Heart podcast is titled “When Laid to Rest” by Patrick Rundblad and available here.More pauses available in the One Minute Pause app for Apple iOS and Android.Apple: One Minute Pause AppAndroid: One Minute Pause App

What if the issue isn't whether people love you, but whether you actually feel it? In this episode, Sonja Lyubomirsky joins us to explore the gap between being loved and feeling loved, and why that disconnect happens. Drawing from her book How to Feel Loved, we talk about the psychology behind connection, challenge common myths like love languages, and dig into how curiosity, vulnerability, and better conversations can help you build more meaningful relationships. Topics [0:00] Intro and Speed Round with Sonja Lyubomirsky [11:08] Being Loved vs. Feeling Loved [14:14] Why Love Doesn't Always “Land” [19:42] Deep Conversations vs. Small Talk [23:47] Vulnerability: The Key to Real Connection [32:01] What Are Love Mindsets? [37:24] Psychological Barriers to Feeling Loved [44:53] The #1 Happiness Tip  [50:51] Are Love Languages Real? [53:23] Music, Focus, and Flow [56:21] Grooving Session: Letting Love In ©2026 Behavioral Grooves Links Groove vs Grind Survey About Sonja How to Feel Loved by Sonja Lyubomirsky and Harry Reis Join us on Substack! Join the Behavioral Grooves community Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube Support Behavioral Grooves Musical Links Tina Turner - What's Love Got To Do With It The Lumineers - Stubborn Love

Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky is one of the world's leading researchers on happiness, human flourishing, and what actually helps people feel connected. A Professor of Psychology at UC Riverside, she is the bestselling author of The How of Happiness and The Myths of Happiness, published in 39 countries. Her latest book, written with Harry Reis, is How to Feel Loved. Sonja's work has shaped the modern science of happiness and earned major honors, including recognition as a Fellow of the American Association for the Advancement of Science, an Honorary Doctorate from the University of Basel, and several leading awards in personality and positive psychology. She also writes a popular newsletter on the science of happiness, and her research has been featured widely in media, documentaries, podcasts, and public conversations around the world. On the show, we cover: Self-help culture and happiness The happiness trap: doing what we think will make us happy that can backfire The counterfactual gratitude practice The "masking effect": seeking admiration and its impact on connection The vulnerability paradox Being loved vs. feeling loved Curiosity as a way of making other people feel seen Challenging the Five Love Languages Why small daily moments of connection matter so much On AI: the rise of AI companions and simulated connection The multiplicity mindset: why people are more than one trait or action For show notes and more, visit larryweeks.com

Dr Sonja Lyubomirsky is a world renowned expert in happiness and after more than three decades of research, she says she sees a connection between happiness and not just being loved, but feeling loved. That's not just romantically, but with friends and family too. Dr Lyubomirsky says we can help create the love we are hoping for with simple things like curiosity and listening. She's co-written a new book called How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most.

How to communicate for deeper connection—and greater happiness.Happiness isn't just a feeling—it's something you can actively shape through how you think, connect, and communicate.Sonja Lyubomirsky, a distinguished professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside and co-author of How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most, defines happiness as two key components: “being happy in your life and being happy with your life.” And while many people separate happiness from meaning or purpose, she explains that “they almost always go together.” Her research shows how the small habits we practice—like gratitude—can have a powerful effect, helping to “neutralize negative emotions” and shift how we see our lives. In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Lyubomirsky and host Matt Abrahams explore the science of wellbeing and the habits that help us feel more fulfilled. From gratitude practices to breaking free from the comparison trap, they share practical strategies for boosting happiness and explain why connection isn't just about being loved, but truly “feeling loved.”Episode Reference Links:Sonja LyubomirskySonja's Book: How To Feel Loved179. Finding Positive in Negative Emotions: Communication, Happiness & Wellbeing180. Unlocking Your Future Self: Communication, Happiness & Well…181. Why Happiness is a Direction, Not a Destination: Communicat…182. Stop Chasing Time and Start Owning It: Communication, Happiness & Wellbeing  Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedInChapters:(00:00) - Introduction (04:50) - Defining Happiness (07:02) - Gratitude in Practice (07:45) - Acting Extroverted (09:42) - The Comparison Trap (11:40) - Reflection vs. Rumination (12:27) - Best Self Exercise (13:51) - Building Positive Psychology (15:16) - Happiness Drives Success (16:44) - Relationships as a Seesaw (19:04) - Being Known vs. Impressive (21:45) - The Final Three Questions (26:18) - Conclusion   ********Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost.This episode is brought to you by Babbel. Think Fast Talk Smart listeners can get started on your language learning journey today- visit Babbel.com/Thinkfast and get up to 55% off your Babbel subscription.Join our Think Fast Talk Smart Learning Community and become the communicator you want to be. 

What sparks a sense of optimism for you?Is it something you see, something you do, or simply a way you choose to think in certain moments?Have you ever thought that you could cultivate your own optimism?On today's episode of the Habit Thrive Podcast, we explore the simple—but not always easy—habit of cultivating optimism.Inspired by The How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky, we look at how nearly 40% of our happiness is shaped by intentional activities, meaning optimism is something we can actively practice—not just something we either have or don't.Rooted in Positive Psychology, this episode reminds us that optimism isn't about ignoring reality or forcing positivity, but about shifting perspective and asking, “Yes, this is happening… and what else is also true?”You'll learn how to integrate optimism into your day in a realistic, habit-based way by “bookending” your day with simple practices: starting your morning with gratitude and something to look forward to, reflecting in the evening on what went well (even the small things), and using the “AND” practice in the moment to move from frustration to flexibility. These small, intentional shifts help train your brain toward possibility and resilience.As you move through your week, notice where you're already practicing optimism—every reset, every deep breath, every “what's next?” is evidence that it's already within you. This week, experiment with adding a more structured optimism practice and see how it supports your mindset, energy, and overall well-being.On this episode:The How of Happiness by Sonja LyubomirskyThe Me Now Women's Wellness WheelPower & Purpose Daily Motivations: A Year of Coming Home to Yourself: Find it hereLoving the show? Let's connect! Find me:Facebook: Women's Wellness Community: For women wanting to rock their “Me Now” YearsInstagram: @Habitguru365Website: lorriemickelson.comMemberVault: lorriemickelson.vipmembervault.comHabits, Mindfulness Routines & Self Care For Women 50 & BeyondLoving the show? Let's connect! Find me:Facebook: Women's Wellness Community: For women wanting to rock their “Me Now” YearsInstagram: @Habitguru365Website: lorriemickelson.comMemberVault: lorriemickelson.vipmembervault.comHabits, Mindfulness Routines & Self Care For Women 50 & Beyond

Discern what you’ll retire to. Join our group program starting in April. Learn more here _________________________ What if the secret to happiness isn't success or achievement — but simply feeling loved? In this episode, one of the world’s top researchers on happiness and well-being Sonja Lyubomirsky explains why connection, curiosity, and listening may be the most powerful ingredients for a fulfilling life — and a meaningful retirement. Her new book, co-authored with relationship scientist Dr. Harry Reis, is How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most —and it offers a surprising and practical roadmap for getting there. Key insights? When you want to feel more loved, don’t try to make yourself more lovable. Don’t try to change the other person. Instead, change the conversation. Go first. Make them feel loved—and watch what happens next. This conversation is full of wisdom for anyone planning for or navigating retirement—a life stage where relationships become the center of your world. Dr. Lyubomirsky talks about the vulnerability paradox, the three magic words everyone wants to hear, why older people are actually happier than younger ones, and what really matters when you’re designing a life worth living. Sonja Lyubomirsky joins us from Santa Monica, California. ___________________________ Bio Sonja Lyubomirsky (AB Harvard, summa cum laude; PhD Stanford) is Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Riverside and author of the best-selling The How of Happiness and The Myths of Happiness (published in 39 countries). Lyubomirsky's research—on the possibility of lastingly increasing happiness via gratitude, kindness, and connection interventions—have been the recipients of many grants and honors, including Fellow of the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS), an Honorary Doctorate from the University of Basel, the Diener Award for Outstanding Midcareer Contributions in Personality Psychology, the Christopher Peterson Gold Medal, a Positive Psychology Prize, and the Faculty of the Year Award (twice). She has four kids, ages 12 to 26, and lives in Santa Monica, California. ___________________________ For More on Sonja Lyubomirsky How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most Website  __________________________ Retirement Podcast Conversations You May Like How to Live a Meaningful Life – Dave Evans Retire Happy – Dr. Catherine Sanderson The Good Life – Marc Schulz, PhD ___________________________ About The Retirement Wisdom Podcast There are many podcasts on retirement, often hosted by financial advisors with their own financial motives, that cover the money side of the street. This podcast is different. You'll get smarter about the investment decisions you'll make about the most important asset you'll have in retirement: your time. About Retirement Wisdom I help people who are retiring, but aren't quite done yet, discover what's next and build their custom version of their next life. A meaningful retirement doesn't just happen by accident. Schedule a call today to discuss how the Designing Your Life process created by Bill Burnett & Dave Evans can help you make your life in retirement a great one — on your own terms. About Your Podcast Host Joe Casey is an executive coach who helps people design their next life after their primary career and create their version of The Multipurpose Retirement.™ He created his own next chapter after a 26-year career at Merrill Lynch, where he was Senior Vice President and Head of HR for Global Markets & Investment Banking. Joe has earned Master's degrees from the University of Southern California in Gerontology (at age 60), the University of Pennsylvania, and Middlesex University (UK), a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, and his coaching certification from Columbia University. In addition to his work with clients, Joe hosts The Retirement Wisdom Podcast, ranked in the top 1% globally in popularity by Listen Notes, with over 1.6 million downloads. Business Insider recognized Joe as one of 23 innovative coaches who are making a difference. He's the author of Win the Retirement Game: How to Outsmart the 9 Forces Trying to Steal Your Joy. ______________________________ Wise Quotes On Love & Happiness “The key to happiness is feeling connected and loved. The secret to feeling loved is really feeling known.” On Going First “When we want to feel more loved, we often try to make ourselves more lovable. But the research suggests something different — we need to start by making the other person feel loved. A relationship is really a series of conversations. Changing the conversation can change the relationship. When you think about a relationship is a series of conversations. And so during your next conversation, the first step is actually to try to make the other person feel more loved. And so we talk about, you know, showing curiosity in the other person and really listening to them and helping them open up, you know, because the secret to feeling loved is really feeling known. You know, you can’t really feel loved by someone else if they don’t know you, right?  If you don’t really know me, I can’t feel loved by you because I’ll always wonder would he still love me if he knew me? If you could see what was sort of behind those walls. It’s a little bit counterintuitive, right? If you want to feel more loved, you want to go first and make the other person feel more loved.” On Vulnerability “I’m not going to feel loved by you just if you’re admiring me. And so that’s where sort of we go wrong where like, it turns out that actually being a little vulnerable and showing more of our kind of real selves, not really real selves, it’s all real, you know, but you know, kind of showing more of our full selves, what’s beneath those walls. That’s actually what forges a connection. So that kind of, in fact, I think it’s called the vulnerability paradox. Like we think people won’t like us if we show a little bit vulnerability or weakness even, but actually people will like us more. Now, if it has to be done at the right pace and at the right time for the right person, right, you have to really read the room so you don’t just like dump your traumas or your weaknesses right away on another person. That’s not, that’s not going to work either.”

How important are relationships and the feeling of being loved to human happiness? How have the fields of happiness studies and relationship studies converged?  Sonja Lyubomirsky is a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside. She is also the author or co-author of the books How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most, The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want, and The Myths of Happiness: What Should Make You Happy, but Doesn't, What Shouldn't Make You Happy, but Does. Greg and Sonja discuss her shift from happiness research to her co-authored book with Harry Reis, How to Feel Loved. Sonja explains that many happiness interventions (gratitude letters, kindness practices, and variations like texting gratitude vs. social media posting vs. private writing) work largely because they increase feelings of love and connection They also discuss why listening is difficult, with Sonja sharing her experience in a Tel Aviv listening workshop, and the need for compassion and a growth mindset. Other themes include the Michelangelo effect (helping others become who they aspire to be), balancing sharing and listening (avoiding monologues or interrogations), appropriate vulnerability and gradual self-disclosure, and the “multiplicity” mindset of seeing people as complex quilts of good and bad traits to reduce harsh judgment.  The episode also considers whether people can feel loved without being loved, including AI companions that can mimic excellent listening but lack a genuine open heart, and the risk that some people may substitute simulated relationships for real ones.  *unSILOed Podcast is produced by University FM.* Episode Quotes: What's the distinction between being loved and feeling loved? 07:42: A lot of us are loved, but we do not feel loved. So we might have, we might know that our partner loves us or child, or a family member or friend or colleague. But we do not really feel loved. And when you think about it, feeling loved is what really matters even more, right? Because if, you know, if you love me, but I do not feel loved by you, it is almost like you do not love me, right? Like, because I am not really sensing that, and so feeling loved is really important. That is what really matters to happiness. The key to feeling loved is really to be known and to know the other 10:16: The key to feeling loved is really to be known and to know the other, and we get known by taking the wall down a little bit. And I get to know you if I help you take your wall down. How do I help you take your wall down? By showing curiosity. Then hopefully you will start to open up a little bit. I show even more curiosity. I ask you questions and I l truly listen, not really just try to fix it or help you or tell my own story. I just listen to learn. The first step to feel more loved 09:11: If I want to feel more loved, the first step, which may sound counterintuitive, is to help the other person feel loved first. You go first. I go first. The first step is to show genuine curiosity in the other person, in their inner life and the details of their day, their dreams, goals, values, fears. We all want that. We want to be seen, we want to be heard, and we do not get genuine curiosity very often. When was the last time you remember telling a story about yourself and the other person was so curious they could not wait for you to finish the sentence? It is rare. When it happens, it is priceless. That is such a gift to someone, to show authentic curiosity in them. It has to be authentic because you cannot fake it. That is the first step. You help the person be seen by showing curiosity in them, and that helps them open up more. Real connection requires both listening and sharing 18:48: If you only share, it is a monologue. You are spouting off. If you only listen, then it is an interview. It is an interrogation sometimes. You really need to do both. They go together. That is where the emotional intelligence comes in. Because when you are sharing, the entire time you are sharing, and we all know people who do not do this, they go off and they seem to not see any cues that the other person is not interested in continuing the story. Show Links: Recommended Resources: Harry Reis Relationship Science Michelangelo Phenomenon Impression Management Multiplicity The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work Esther Perel Love 2.0: How Our Supreme Emotion Affects Everything We Feel, Think, Do, and Become Techne Unsiloed 208: Psychological Safety and the Benefits of Discomfort with Todd Kashdan Guest Profile: SonjaLyubomirsky.com Faculty Profile at UC Riverside LinkedIn Profile Profile on Wikipedia Social Profile on Instagram Social Profile on X Guest Work: Amazon Author Page How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want The Myths of Happiness: What Should Make You Happy, but Doesn't, What Shouldn't Make You Happy, but Does Google Scholar Page TED Talk | 1 thing you can do today to be happier Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Roger Whitney shifts from financial planning to the non-financial pillar of relationships, sharing a live conversation with Harry Reis about how to feel more loved and connected in retirement. Together they explore the science behind belonging and loneliness, introduce practical mindsets for deepening relationships, answer listener questions, and close with the team's latest book recommendations.OUTLINE OF THIS EPISODE OF THE RETIREMENT ANSWER MAN(00:00) This show is dedicated to helping you not just survive retirement but have the confidence and clarity to lean in and rock it.(00:27) Roger outlines the month ahead: a focus on relationships, an upcoming financial deep dive with Wade Pfau, wisdom from retirees navigating health care before Medicare, a candid discussion on retirement calculators, and a live Noodle hangout.CONVERSATION WITH HARRY REISS(02:00) Roger introduces Harry Reis, co-author (with Sonja Lyubomirsky) of How to Feel Loved, for a conversation recorded live in the Rock Retirement Club.(05:17) Roger asks Harry what led him down the path to study relationships and partner with Sonja Lyubomirsky for the book.(15:00) Harry talks about the loneliness epidemic and the effects of not feeling loved.(17:45) Roger and Harry talk about the obstacles and myths of being loved. (23:15) Harry introduces the sea-saw framework for relationships.(27:00) Harry shares practical mindsets for strengthening connection, including listening to learn, radical curiosity, multiplicity, and mutual vulnerability.(43:30) Roger reflects on why this is important.LISTENER QUESTIONS(45:00) Listeners share questions about one-sided conversations, vulnerability, and love languages, leading to practical discussion about compatibility, communication, and choosing people willing to “play seesaw.”WHAT'S ON THE BOOKSHELF?(58:00) The team shares recent reads.SMART SPRINT(1:05:55) Consider one relationship you want to deepen. Practice listening to learn this week. Ask one more follow-up question than you normally would and notice what happens.REFERENCESSubmit a Question for RogerSign up for The NoodleThe Retirement Answer ManHow to Feel Loved  by Sonja Lyubomirsky and Harry Reis

Feeling loved sounds simple, but it is not something that just happens because someone cares about you. In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Yael talks with Sonja Lyubomirsky and Harry Reis about their book, How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most, and why it is possible to be loved but not actually feel loved.They explore what really helps people feel cared for and understood in any kind of relationship, why stress or attachment patterns can get in the way, and how small mindset shifts like listening to learn or being willing to go first can make a big difference in how connected you feel.It is less about following relationship rules and more about how you show up. Your curiosity, your openness, and your willingness to understand someone else and let yourself be understood too. If connection sometimes feels harder than it should, this episode is for you.Listen and Learn: How the happiness habits you already know, like gratitude or kindness, may actually work by strengthening a hidden relationship dynamic that makes people feel deeply understood and loved in everyday interactionsWhat are the key ingredients that quietly combine to make us feel truly loved and understood by others?How feeling loved often depends less on what's done for us and more on whether we truly feel seen, understood, and connected in the momentHow shifting your mindset in love can transform simple behaviors into deeper, more genuine connections that naturally grow intimacyHow showing up first in relationships can feel risky, but it often unlocks deeper connections in ways you might not expectWhy feeling loved isn't just about what you receive, it's about how you understand and respond to the love others are trying to giveEmbracing the messy, multifaceted parts of yourself to completely change how you experience love and connectionResources: How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780063426665 Sonja's Website: https://sonjalyubomirsky.com Card deck from Sojna's recommendation: The Andhttps://howtofeelloved.com/ Connect with Sonja on Social Media: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sonja-lyubomirsky-21283bb/https://www.instagram.com/sonjalyubomirsky/https://www.facebook.com/sonja.lyubomirsky About Sonja Lyubomirsky and Harry Reis: Sonja Lyubomirsky is a Distinguished Professor of Psychology at UC Riverside and the author of The How of Happiness and The Myths of Happiness. She's also a returning guest on Psychologists Off the Clock — you can catch her first appearance in episode 227.Harry Reis is a Dean's Professor of Psychology at the University of Rochester and one of the most influential relationship scientists working today, known for foundational research on intimacy, responsiveness, and what makes people feel truly connected.Together, they've written How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets that Get You More of What Matters Most — a book that reframes the question most of us have been asking wrong.Related Episodes:172. Performing Under Pressure with Sian Beilock227. The Science of Happy with Sonja Lyubomirsky413. Validate with Caroline Fleck422. Mindwise with Nicholas EpleySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

​Sonja Lyubomirsky​ is one of the most influential happiness researchers of our time. Sonja moved to the United States from Moscow at age 9 in the 70s. She went to Harvard and Stanford in the 80s and began studying happiness in 1989 ... longer than almost anyone else alive! Positive psychology wasn't "founded" by ​Martin Seligman​ and ​Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi​ for another decade. Sonja has published hundreds of papers including her ​Most Cited 2005 paper​ which defined the field by flipping a long-held assumption on its head: That happiness doesn't follow success but causes it. Sonja is now following up her bestsellers '​The How of Happiness​' and '​The Myths Of Happiness​' with a new book called '​How to Feel Loved​', a joint effort co-written with relationship expert ​Dr. Harry Reis​, which is a culmination of 30 years of research that all point to one central truth: that feeling loved (not just being loved!) is a crucial ingredient of happiness. In this conversation we talk about the four horsemen that can ruin a marriage, what MDMA does to our brains, why small talk doesn't build connection, the best advice for dating, how our brains respond to love, the single best way to feel happier today, and, of course, the eminent Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky's 3 most formative books. Let's flip the page to Chapter 158 now...

If everyone wants happiness, why does it so often seem hard to achieve? This episode, host Dr. Samantha Yammine is joined by psychologist Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky to talk about positive psychology and what science tells us about how to be happy. Sam also explores a new study that says swearing can give you a physical boost and, to celebrate the Olympics, she digs into the physics behind curling. Link to Show Notes HERE Follow Curiosity Weekly on your favorite podcast app to get smarter with Dr. Samantha Yammine — for free! Still curious? Get science shows, nature documentaries, and more real-life entertainment on discovery+! Go to https://discoveryplus.com/curiosity to start your 7-day free trial. discovery+ is currently only available for US subscribers. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What it really means to feel loved, and why many people who are loved don't feel it. Sonja Lyubomirsky is a preeminent happiness expert and Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of California. Harry Reis is one of the world's leading experts on relationships and Dean's Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Rochester. They are the authors of: HOW TO FEEL LOVED: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most. In this episode we talk about: What it really means to feel loved, and why many people who are loved don't feel it An antidote to loneliness  A broader definition of love beyond romance Why feeling loved may be the true key to happiness How feeling loved is more in your control than you think The "relationship seesaw": lifting others up to feel loved yourself The power of curiosity, listening, and reciprocity Why dropping emotional armor is necessary for real connection Practical tools for feeling more loved Tips on asking better questions and showing real enthusiasm Why genuine curiosity, reciprocity, and emotional pacing deepen connection more than performative listening Related Episodes: Happiness Takes Work | Sonja Lyubomirsky Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel   Thanks to our sponsors: LinkedIn:  Spend $250 on your first campaign on LinkedIn ads and get a $250 credit for the next one. Just go to linkedin.com/happier. Leesa: Go to leesa.com for 25% off mattresses, plus get an extra $50 off with the promo code Happier, exclusive for our listeners. ZipRecruiter: To try ZipRecruiter for free, go to ZipRecruiter.com/tenpercent. FitBod: Get 25% off your subscription or try the app free for seven days at fitbod.me/tenpercent. To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris  

Do you feel truly loved? In their new book, psychology professors Harry Reis and Sonja Lyubomirsky explore the connection between love and happiness. According to their research, a key to happiness is feeling loved. They argue that the actions we usually associate with being loved, loving someone, or falling in love differ from truly feeling loved. So how can you nurture that feeling? This hour, we sit down with Reis and his University of Rochester colleague, psychology professor Bonnie Le, to explore the science of love and happiness and what it takes to feel more of both. In studio: Harry Reis, Ph.D., professor of psychology and Dean's Professor in Arts and Sciences at the University of Rochester, and co-author of "How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most" Bonnie Le, Ph.D., assistant professor of psychology at the University of Rochester ---Connections is supported by listeners like you. Head to our donation page to become a WXXI member today, support the show, and help us close the gap created by the rescission of federal funding.---Connections airs every weekday from noon-2 p.m. Join the conversation with questions or comments by phone at 1-844-295-TALK (8255) or 585-263-9994, email, Facebook or Twitter. Connections is also livestreamed on the WXXI News YouTube channel each day. You can watch live or access previous episodes here.---Do you have a story that needs to be shared? Pitch your story to Connections.

What does it really mean to feel loved?In this conversation with Sonja Lyubomirsky, we explore why being loved isn't the same as feeling loved, how changing the conversation can shift a relationship, and why loneliness is a moment, not an identity.This one will change how you think about connection.Thrive Global Article: Sonja Lyubomirsky on How to Feel LovedAbout Our Guest:Sonja Lyubomirsky is Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Riverside and author of the best-selling The How of Happiness and The Myths of Happiness (published in 39 countries). Lyubomirsky and her research on the science of happiness have been the recipients of many grants and honors, including Fellow of the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS), an Honorary Doctorate from the University of Basel, the Diener Award for Outstanding Midcareer Contributions in Personality Psychology, the Christopher Peterson Gold Medal, and a Positive Psychology Prize. She lives in Santa Monica, California, with her family.About Lainie:Lainie Rowell is a bestselling author, award-winning educator, and TEDx speaker. She is dedicated to human flourishing, focusing on community building, emotional intelligence, and honoring what makes each of us unique and dynamic through learner-driven design. She earned her degree in psychology and went on to earn both a post-graduate credential and a master's degree in education. An international keynote speaker, Lainie has presented in 41 states as well as in dozens of countries across 4 continents. As a consultant, Lainie's client list ranges from Fortune 100 companies like Apple and Google to school districts and independent schools. Learn more at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠linktr.ee/lainierowell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.Website - ⁠LainieRowell.com⁠Instagram - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@LainieRowell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn - @LainieRowellX/Twitter - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@LainieRowell ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Evolving with Gratitude, the book is available ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ And now, Bold Gratitude: The Journal Designed for You and by You is available too!Both Evolving with Gratitude & Bold Gratitude have generous bulk pricing for purchasing 10+ copies delivered to the same location.

Knowing someone loves you is one thing. Actually feeling that love in your body and daily life is another—and that's where many relationships get stuck. In this episode, we move from problem to solution, exploring five research-backed mindsets that help love land and deepen real connection. I am joined once again by Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Riverside and author of the best-selling books The How of Happiness and The Myths of Happiness. Her latest book, co-authored with Dr. Harry Reis, is titled How To Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More Of What Matters Most. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How does the “Relationship Sea-Saw” explain the give-and-take of feeling loved? What does healthy self-disclosure actually look like in a relationship? How can couples sustain curiosity in long-term partnerships? How can we approach our relationships with more compassion and less scorekeeping? How can we learn to become better listeners and stop having repetitive conflicts? To learn more about How to Feel Loved, click here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Share a little extra love this February and wrap yourself—or someone you care about—in comfort that truly feels special. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for up to 20% off.  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that's effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Can anyone become happier? Psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky studies this question in her lab, doing experiments on "happiness interventions" to see what kinds of actions elicit this sought-after emotion. In a quick talk, she shares the results of her work: a small shift that can change your relationships and put you on the path to happiness.Following the talk, Elise Hu, host of TED Talks Daily, interviews Lyubomirsky on additional changes people can do to feel more connected with each other in an increasingly online and chaotic world. Learn more about our flagship conference happening this April at attend.ted.com/podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You can be deeply loved—and still not feel it. In this episode, we’re exploring the gap between being loved and feeling loved, the myths that keep love from landing, and how modern life can amplify disconnection. If you've ever felt unseen, insecure, or lonely inside an otherwise good relationship, this conversation will help you understand why, and what you can do about it. My guest is Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Riverside and author of the best-selling books The How of Happiness and The Myths of Happiness. Her latest book, co-authored with Dr. Harry Reis, is titled How To Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More Of What Matters Most. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why do so many people struggle to feel loved, even when they clearly are? How can admiration and praise actually leave us feeling lonelier? Why does believing you have to “earn” love block you from experiencing it? What happens to our mental health, relationships, and desire when we don't feel loved? How is modern technology undermining our sense of connection? To learn more about How to Feel Loved, click here.  Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that's effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Why does speaking up feel so terrifying even when we know we're right? This week, host Amanda Montell (@amanda_montell) is joined by happiness researcher and psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky (@sonjalyubomirsky) to overthink confrontation: why we avoid it, why we rehearse it endlessly in our heads, and why it so often feels riskier than staying silent. Together, they explore what confrontation does to our nervous systems, how fear of conflict gets tangled up with people pleasing and self worth, and when avoiding hard conversations actually costs us more in the long run. A gentle spiral about courage, communication, and learning to trust yourself enough to say the thing out loud. Further Reading: How To Feel Loved by Sonja Lyubomirsky - Join the "Magical Overthinkers Club" by following the pod on Instagram @magicaloverthinkers. - To access early, ad-free episodes and more, subscribe to the Magical Overthinkers Substack. - Pick up Amanda's book The Age of Magical Overthinking: Notes on Modern Irrationality, or listen to the audiobook. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial period at https://SHOPIFY.COM/magical Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Send us a textHey friends — this week, I'm talking about something close to my heart: positivity — not the fake-it-till-you-make-it kind, but the quiet confidence that goodness still exists, even when life feels heavy and out of balance. I'll share stories from my week — like seeing my daughter and her foster kittens (Solstice and Equinox) and how a walk around Silver Lake reminded me that we can stay grounded. I'll also tell you the story of The Seashells of Positivity. We'll look at the science behind positivity, including research by Sonja Lyubomirsky, Laura King, and Ed Diener (2005) showing that people who experience frequent positive emotions live healthier, more fulfilling lives. I also link to one of my favorite resources — the Calm Master Class on Happiness by Shawn Achor, which explores the science of choosing happiness intentionally. You can find it here.Quote of the Week:“Every time we choose light, we make it easier for someone else to see.” — Unknown Disclaimer:This podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only. It's not medical advice and shouldn't replace care from a licensed health professional. If you're making changes to your health, nutrition, or fitness routine, please consult your doctor or qualified clinician. Let's go, let's get it done. Get more information at: http://projectweightloss.org

This is the 11th episode that comes from the book The How of Happiness by Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky. This week, we look at how faith and spirituality can influence happiness, health, and resilience. Whether you identify with a particular faith, consider yourself spiritual but not religious, or approach life from a secular perspective, this episode invites reflection on how connecting with something larger than yourself can enhance happiness and resilience.Tune in to learn:Why research suggests religious people tend to be happier and healthierHow community and connection play a key role in well-beingWays to incorporate spirituality or mindfulness into daily lifeHow seeking meaning and purpose contributes to long-term happinessEven if religion isn't part of your life, this episode offers insight into how meaning, connection, and purpose—universal human experiences—can help all of us grow our wealthy mindset.Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite Podcasting platform. Get 12 Financial Mistakes that Keep Physicians from Building Wealth at https://www.growyourwealthymindset.com/12financialmistakes If you want to start your path to financial freedom, start with the Financial Freedom Workbook. Download your free copy today at https://www.GrowYourWealthyMindset.com/fiworkbook Dr. Elisa Chiang is a physician and money coach who helps other doctors reach their financial goals by mastering their money mindset through personalized 1:1 coaching . You can learn more about Elisa at her website or follow her on social media. Website: https://ww.GrowYourWealthyMindset.com Instagram https://www.instagram.com/GrowYourWealthyMindset Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ElisaChiang https://www.facebook.com/GrowYourWealthyMindset YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/WealthyMindsetMD Linked In: www.linkedin.com/in/ElisaChiang Disclaimer: The content provided in the Grow Your Wealthy Mind...

Today's wisdom comes from The Myths of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky.   If you're loving Heroic Wisdom Daily, be sure to subscribe to the emails at heroic.us/wisdom-daily.   And… Imagine unlocking access to the distilled wisdom form 700+ of the greatest books ever written.   That's what Heroic Premium offers: Unlimited access to every Philosopher's Note. Daily inspiration and actionable tools to optimize your energy, work, and love. Personalized coaching features to help you stay consistent and focused   Upgrade to Heroic Premium →   Know someone who'd love this? Share Heroic Wisdom Daily with them, and let's grow together in 2025!   Share Heroic Wisdom Daily →

Sometimes the happiest and most successful people are the ones who know when to stop.Matt O'Neill built Good Mood Revolution into a top 1.5% global podcast with 230,000 downloads, but he's walking away at the peak. Why? Because he learned the ultimate happiness lesson: all the expert advice in the world means nothing if you're too busy to live it.In this deeply personal final episode, Matt shares the most life-changing insights from his journey: from Marianne Williamson's revelation that happiness is love, to Lou Holtz's three principles for winning each day, to Dr. David Burns' discovery that depression often stems from beautiful values we hold too tightly.You'll hear the strategies that transformed Matt's life—from Trish Blackwell's negative thought reframing technique to Sonja Lyubomirsky's research showing that 15-minute conversations are scientifically the happiest thing you can do. Most importantly, you'll understand why Matt realized that all the productivity hacks and goal-setting in the world can't replace the simple joy of being fully present with the people who matter most.This isn't goodbye forever—it's Matt choosing to live the happiness principles he's spent years teaching. Sometimes the most revolutionary act is slowing down to savor what you already have.0:00 Intro2:05 Marianne Williamson: Happiness is love4:02 Lou Holtz's three principles for winning the day6:22 Dr. David Burns: Why depression reveals beautiful values8:48 Dr. Jeffrey Rediger: Happiness is the best medicine10:45 Joe Wechsler: The comfort crisis and why adventure makes us happy12:43 Why Matt's "dream job" was right in front of him15:11 Trish Blackwell's life-changing negative thought technique18:28 Arian Mateo: How core beliefs create your reality21:51 Matt King: If you want a better present, get a bigger future23:20 Sonja Lyubomirsky: The scientifically happiest thing you can do27:55 Eric Weiner: There's no such thing as personal happiness29:01 Phil Moeller's Purpose Matrix: Ordering your life priorities31:26 A final thank you and signing offResources Mentioned:

Kathy Oneto offers a sustainable path to achieving your goals in work and in life.— YOU'LL LEARN — 1) The major myths surrounding ambition2) How to overcome inertia to achieve your goals3) How to keep your energy up for the long termSubscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep1075 for clickable versions of the links below. — ABOUT KATHY — Kathy Oneto is a consultant, facilitator, and coach who is passionate about helping ambitious organizations, teams, and individuals explore how to live and work differently for more success, satisfaction, and sustainability. She is the founder and podcast host of Sustainable Ambition and is author of the book Sustainable Ambition: How to Prioritize What Matters to Thrive in Life and Work (June 2025). She helps people get more from work and life without sacrificing their joy or ease. • Book: Sustainable Ambition: How to Prioritize What Matters to Thrive in Life and Work• LinkedIn: Kathy Oneto• Podcast: Sustainable Ambition• Website: SustainableAmbition.com — RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW — • Study: “Case study: what happened when we took a break at Slack” by Elizabeth Sarasohn• Study: “The Benefits of Frequent Positive Affect: Does Happiness Lead to Success?” by Sonja Lyubomirsky, Laura King, and Ed Diener• Book: The 3.3 Rule: The New Workday Standard of Creating More by Working Less by John Briggs• Book: What You Are Looking For Is in the Library: A Novel by Michiko Aoyama• Book: A Psalm for the Wild-Built: A Monk and Robot Book (Monk & Robot, 1) by Becky Chambers • Book: A Prayer for the Crown-Shy: A Monk and Robot Book (Monk & Robot, 2) by Becky Chambers • Onion Article: Man's Utter Failure In Life A Bit Of A Sore Spot — THANK YOU SPONSORS! — • Strawberry.me. Claim your $50 credit and build momentum in your career with Strawberry.me/Awesome• Plaud.ai. Use the code AWESOME and get a discount on your order• Rula. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at Rula.com/AwesomeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Want to be happier? Some of our happiness level is due to genes or life circumstances, but research shows much of it is within our control. Sonja Lyubomirsky, PhD, talks about the habits and mindsets that lead to lasting happiness, the complex relationship between money and happiness, whether technology is making us less happy, and whether it's possible to worry too much about being happy. Find Dr. Lyubomirsky's newsletter The Happiness Files at https://drsonja.kit.com/newsletter. Take our listener survey at http://at.apa.org/SoPSurvey. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of The Grow Your Wealthy Mindset, we explore the 6th activity from The How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky, Developing Strategies for Coping. Whether you're facing burnout, personal loss, or the everyday emotional weight of your work, learning to cope effectively can be life-changing. This episode reviews different types of coping strategies, from problem-solving to emotional processing, and dive into practical tools like expressive writing, thought disputation, and finding meaning in painful experiences.What You'll Learn in This Episode:·        The two primary types of coping: problem-focused and emotion-focused—and when each is most useful·        How expressive writing can help you process trauma and distress·        A three-step approach to finding personal growth and deeper meaning after loss·        The ABCDE thought disputation technique to challenge negative beliefs and reduce anxiety·        The thought model CTFAR by Brooke Castillo of The Life Coach School ·        The Work by Byron Katie·        How working with a coach can help reframe your thoughts Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite Podcasting platform. Get 12 Financial Mistakes that Keep Physicians from Building Wealth at https://www.growyourwealthymindset.com/12financialmistakes If you want to start your path to financial freedom, start with the Financial Freedom Workbook. Download your free copy today at https://www.GrowYourWealthyMindset.com/fiworkbook Dr. Elisa Chiang is a physician and money coach who helps other doctors reach their financial goals by mastering their money mindset through personalized 1:1 coaching . You can learn more about Elisa at her website or follow her on social media. Website: https://ww.GrowYourWealthyMindset.com Instagram https://www.instagram.com/GrowYourWealthyMindset Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ElisaChiang https://www.facebook.com/GrowYourWealthyMindset YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/WealthyMindsetMD Linked In: www.linkedin.com/in/ElisaChiang Disclaimer: The content provided in the Grow Your Wealthy Mind...

Are you chasing happiness in all the wrong places? Prepare to have your world turned upside down as happiness researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky shatters common myths about what truly brings joy. Discover why external goals like wealth, marriage, and career success often fall short, and learn powerful strategies to cultivate lasting happiness from within.Join Matt and Sonja as they explore groundbreaking research on the science of happiness, including the surprising truth about cosmetic surgery, the power of micro-connections, and how to find fulfillment in any job. You'll walk away with practical tips to boost your mood instantly and a fresh perspective on what really matters for a joyful life.Don't let another day slip by chasing elusive happiness. Tune in to this transformative episode and unlock the secrets to genuine well-being that have been within you all along!0:00 Intro5:52 The Surprising Truth About Cosmetic Surgery10:42 Single vs. Married: Happiness Across Relationships14:21 Finding Fulfillment in Your Career20:57 Letting Go of Childhood Dreams24:34 The Power of a 15-Minute Conversation27:20 Practicing Gratitude in Daily Life29:28 Closing Thoughts and Future ProjectsAbout the GuestSonja Lyubomirsky is a leading researcher in the field of positive psychology, best known for her groundbreaking work on the science of happiness. As a professor at the University of California, Riverside, and the author of bestselling books like The How of Happiness, she has dedicated her career to understanding what truly makes people happy and how they can sustain it. Her research emphasizes the power of intentional activities, such as practicing gratitude and kindness, to significantly boost well-being. Sonja's work bridges rigorous science and practical application, offering people evidence-based strategies to lead more fulfilling lives.Resources Mentioned:

This month is going over probably my favorite happiness activity that comes out of The How of Happiness by Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky  and that's nurturing social relationships. I personally am an extravert and love being connected with people. However, I have found this harder to do as I've gotten older.  We all get busy with our lives and time can seem to fly by. I'll notice it has been months since I chatted with a friend. Prepping this episode has prompted me to reach out to several people, as I mention in the episode. I hope it also prompts you to reach out to a friend or loved one you haven't connected with in a while. It's likely to boost your, and their, happiness. In this episode, we dive into:Why connection is a biological and emotional necessityHow small expressions of gratitude can transform your marriage or partnershipThe surprising truth about happy couples and the 5:1 ratioHow to shift your mindset when a loved one disappoints youThe Four Horsemen of unhappy relationships—and how to avoid themWays to celebrate good news with others and deepen connectionIf you're looking to feel more supported, loved, and joyful in your everyday life, this episode offers practical strategies backed by research—and delivered with compassion.Books Mentioned:The How of Happiness by Sonja LyubomirskyThe Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr. John GottmanPlease subscribe and leave a review on your favorite Podcasting platform. Get 12 Financial Mistakes that Keep Physicians from Building Wealth at https://www.growyourwealthymindset.com/12financialmistakes If you want to start your path to financial freedom, start with the Financial Freedom Workbook. Download your free copy today at https://www.GrowYourWealthyMindset.com/fiworkbook Dr. Elisa Chiang is a physician and money coach who helps other doctors reach their financial goals by mastering their money mindset through personalized 1:1 coaching . You can learn more about Elisa at her website or follow her on social media. Website: https://ww.GrowYourWealthyMindset.com Instagram https://www.instagram.com/GrowYourWealthyMindset Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ElisaChiang https://www.facebook.com/GrowYourWealthyMindset YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/WealthyMindsetMD Linked In: www.linkedin.com/in/ElisaChiang Disclaimer: The content provided in the Grow Your Wealthy Mind...

A lot will change once you retire and you may need build a new a social circle. Natalie Kerr and Jaime Kurtz join us to share research-backed strategies you can use to build and strengthen meaningful relationships from their new book Our New Social Life: Science-Backed Strategies for Creating Meaningful Connection. Natalie Kerr and Jaime Kurtz join us from Virginia. ______________________ Bios Natalie Kerr, Ph.D., is a social psychologist and award-winning professor at James Madison University, where she studies social connection and loneliness. Her work has been published in journals such as the Journal of Applied Social Psychology, Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, Personality and Individual Differences, and Social Influence. She is co-author of the book Our New Social Life: Science-Backed Strategies for Creating Meaningful Connection. She also designs community programs for people who want to cultivated deeper connection in their lives. Jaime Kurtz, Ph.D., is a professor of psychology at James Madison University. Her research focuses on strategies for savoring and well-being and has been published in journals such as Psychological Science, the Journal of Positive Psychology, Emotion, and Developmental Psychology. Her work has been published in journals such as Psychological Science and the Journal of Positive Psychology. Most recently, she is the author of The Happy Traveler: Unpacking the Secrets of Better Vacations. She is also the co-author, with Sonja Lyubomirsky, of Positively Happy: Routes to Sustainable Happiness, and she regularly presents seminars on mental health to continuing education health care professionals nationwide. _________________________ For More on Natalie Kerr & Jaime Kurtz Our New Social Life: Science-Backed Strategies for Creating Meaningful Connection _________________________ Podcast Episodes You May Like How to Make New Friends in Retirement – Dr. Marisa G. Franco The Laws of Connection – David Robson The Good Life – Marc Schulz, PhD _________________________ About The Retirement Wisdom Podcast There are many podcasts on retirement, often hosted by financial advisors with financial motives, that cover the money side of the street. This podcast is different. You'll get smarter about the investment decisions you'll make about the most important asset you'll have in retirement: your time. About Retirement Wisdom I help people who are retiring, but aren't quite done yet, discover what's next and build their custom version of their next life. A meaningful retirement doesn't just happen by accident. Schedule a call today to discuss how The Designing Your Life process created by Bill Burnett & Dave Evans can help you make your life in retirement a great one – on your own terms. ________________________ On Social Connection "So, as humans, we have a fundamental need for social connection. We live happier, healthier, and longer lives when we feel deeply connected to other people. And while we might experience and express this need in different ways, the need for social connection is really universal. It's so fundamental that we have built-in biological mechanisms to encourage it. When we're socially isolated, our brain triggers cravings for human contact, in much the same way that it triggers cravings for food after a few hours of not eating. So, we literally crave connection. And that's why so many of us felt starved for connection during the pandemic. The problem is that in everyday life, many of us simply ignore the craving or we deny it. We treat socializing like an indulgence rather than an essential health behavior, and we fail to prioritize it. We recognize the importance of sleep, exercise, and healthy eating, and we take steps to maintain them. But going out with friends, going to Happy Hour, Trivia Night, these things often take a backseat. Somehow, they feel less important when in reality,

Caroline Miller shares the overlooked science that helps you pursue your most ambitious goals. — YOU'LL LEARN — 1) The top goal-setting myths to abandon immediately 2) The two types of goals and how to set them 3) The BRIDGE methodology for effective goal-setting Subscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep1015 for clickable versions of the links below. — ABOUT CAROLINE — For over three decades, Caroline Adams Miller has been a pioneer with her groundbreaking work in the areas of the science of goal setting, grit, happiness, and success. She is recognized as one of the world's leading positive psychology experts on this research and how it can be applied to one's life and work for maximum transformation. She is the author of nine books, including My Name is Caroline, Getting Grit, Positively Caroline and Creating Your Best Life, which the "father of Positive Psychology," Dr. Martin Seligman, lauded in Flourish as "adding a major missing piece" to the world of goal setting. She is a magna cum laude graduate of Harvard University and attained one of the first 32 degrees in the world in Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania.• Book: Big Goals: The Science of Setting Them, Achieving Them, and Creating Your Best Life • Book: Getting Grit: The Evidence-Based Approach to Cultivating Passion, Perseverance, and Purpose • Book site: BigGoalsBook.com • Child Mind Institute: ChildMind.org • Website: CarolineMiller.com — RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW — • Book: Noise: A Flaw in Human Judgment by Daniel Kahneman, Olivier Sibony, Cass Sunstein • Book: Woman's Inhumanity to Woman by Phyllis Chessler • Study: “Benefits of Frequent Positive Affect” by Sonja Lyubomirsky, Laura King, Ed Diener • Survey: VIA's Character Strengths Survey • Tool: Perplexity • Tool: Google Notebook — THANK YOU SPONSORS! — • Lingoda. Visit try.lingoda.com/Awesome50 and save up to 50% off with their biggest sale of the year!• Jenni Kayne. Use the code AWESOME15 to get 15% off your order!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky is a pioneering happiness researcher, bestselling author, and Distinguished Professor of Psychology at UC Riverside. This conversation explores the cutting-edge science of happiness, debunking common myths and uncovering evidence-based strategies for a more fulfilling life. We discuss her groundbreaking research on social connection, gratitude, and the surprising impact of psychedelics on well-being. Sonja's work is transformative. This conversation challenges conventional wisdom about happiness and offers practical insights for living a more satisfying life. Enjoy! Show notes + MORE Watch on YouTube Newsletter Sign-Up Today's Sponsors:  Bon Charge: Use code RICHROLL to save 15% OFF