Cultural Ties - Life of Foreign Africans

In this episode we open up about the realities of being a dad and the challenges and blessings of fatherhood.  We explore our upbringing by black African fathers and how some of the lessons and experiences are impacting our fatherhood journey. We hope to inspire and encourage any first time fathers and future fathers to pick up any gems on raising the next generation. We also hope our mothers can learn more about how their male partners are navigating this new found responsibilities of fatherhood.We are joined by Daniel Yega and a special guest Hass - who is the host of the insta-video series of Men Who Talk. 

On this episode we are joined by the founder of the skincare line and home accessory brand Madam Ori. Alexandria Aggrey-shares her journey to building the brand and some of the challenges and victories experienced along the way. As a former investment banker and a young black British woman, she shares many gems to inspire the entrepreneur in you and tips on starting up a global business and brand that impacts the world and cuts across many barriers.

Debt is a reality that follows millions of people around and many great businesses have been built on various forms of debt (also known as leverage or other people's money (OAP)). But the truth remains that many of us don't really appreciate the difference between good debt or bad debt. Some even argue there is nothing like good debt! as all debt must be bad! In part 2 of this episode, we are joined by Femi and Rennae as we talk about taking out personal debt to start a business and what it means to live within your means. They also share their personal experience with debt and offer some industry insight on how building up debt can prevent us from building generational wealth. Femi also serves as a counsellor of the charity- Christians Against Poverty (CAP)- which is one of the leading voices on debt counselling in the United Kingdom.

Debt is a reality that follows millions of people around and many great businesses have been built on various forms of debt (also known as leverage or other people's money (OAP)). But the truth remains that many of us don't really appreciate the difference between good debt or bad debt. Some even argue there is nothing like good debt! as all debt must be bad! In part 1 of this episode, we are joined by Femi and Rennae both professionals in the finance sector. They share their personal experience with debt and offer some industry insight on emotional spending with credit cards and the long term impact it could have on us. Femi also serves as a counsellor of the charity- Christians Against Poverty (CAP)- which is one of the leading voices on debt counselling in the United Kingdom.

Pay 10% of all your monthly earnings and watch the windows of heaven pour out blessings on your finances. This is the popular message we hear in Church on why we should pay our tithe. In this episode, we discuss the genesis of tithes and offering and share our experiences of the various messages received from the church about why we should pay our tithe. We are joined by Chidi, Nnamdi, and Catherine who are devout christian leaders and scholars, as they share their insight into paying tithes and what we should know about this practice that is supposed to support the spread of the gospel and not take unfair advantage of devout church goers.

When it comes to used (second-hand) items, many of us don't think too much about it. While many believe that it has to be brand new otherwise, there is a stigma if its not new. On this episode, we discuss in more depth about second-hand goods and why it is important to understand its benefits to us financially and environmentally. We also explore a broad range of issues around our stigma to used product as we look at our romantic relationships and how we describe men or women who have been with several partners and refer to them as used. We are joined by Kene who is a passionate environmental sustainability advocate and Onyeka a senior solicitor in the utility sector as they share their experiences about second hand goods and a perspective that should enhance our perspective and feeling towards second-hand products and how as an Afro-carrebean community and African continent we can benefit from this understanding.

On the 20.10.20, Nigerians witnessed a government send its military to shoot peaceful protesters. In this episode, we attempt to understand why the EndSars protest started and why this was the single most revolutionary protest Nigeria has ever seen. Why did the government remove the security cameras, turn off the street lights, and open fire against peaceful protesters in Lekki, Lagos? We are joined by Ferdy Adimefe a Social Activist and youth leader who participated in the EndSars protest. He shares with us the real back story of the Nigerian government and what really transpired in the protest and why there is a need for systematic reforms in Nigeria following the cry by the youth in Nigeria for an end to bad governance.

The beginning of a new decade in 2020 has thrown up a lot of uncertainty with the arrival of the corona virus. The negative impact on global businesses and sources of income has been profound in many ways people did not anticipate. In this episode, we talk about the ups and downs that come with being unemployed. We discuss the pressures and shame that come with it and how it could affect our mental heath and wellbeing. We are joined by Kc Ejelonu, Frank, and Alex as they share their experiences of being unemployed and what the mindset should be to bounce back.

As life happens, we are in build and grow mode, but one constant remains which is that our parents are getting older. In many cultures, there is something in our fabric that makes us ask whether the burden turns on the children to look after their parents who have cared and nurtured them as babies/kids? On this episode, we delve into the mindset to have on looking after our parents and whether it is a blessing or a burden? We examine the physical, emotional, and financial impact on our parents and on us. We are joined by a special guest Chidi, Catherine, and NNamdi as they share their life experiences and put the subject in perspective taking into consideration the Bible scriptures that teaches us to honour our father and mother. We also discuss whether it is possible to dishonour ourselves and our family life in the process of honouring our parents.

No one is an Island and we are created to be communal and social beings. However, there are certain people in our lives we call friends who expect us to keep it 100% open with them on all our life events and milestones. On this topic, we explore whether we should say everything to our friends and if there are limits on what we can share or when we can share private details about ourselves or family? We are joined by a special guest - Kc Ejelonu, a charismatic Nollywood actress, Frank, and Onyeka as they share their experiences about friendship and the expectations that come with it. We also try to understand why women tend to have more drama & passion around their friendships and whether it has anything to do with our upbringing or culture?

The buzzword entanglement took on a whole new level in 2020 following a open disclosure by a famous celebrity that while she was married, she had an entanglement (affair). On this episode, we openly discuss why women are more cautious in sharing how many men they may be dating and why they are more likely to be involved in an entanglement while men are usually labelled cheats. We are joined by co-host, Rennae, Femi, and Alex as they share personal stories and dive deep into the mindset of women and some of the issues that may trigger entanglements and when to avoid them if thats not a desired outcome you want for your relationship.

The euphoria of a romantic relationship is one of the best feelings known to human. However, there are more complex relationships that need to be formed with your partners family. The joys of discovering your in-laws has historically being muddled with very bad experiences and some pleasant ones too. On this episode, we are joined by Dr Mobo and Yvonne (Lammy) as they share their experiences of dealing with in-laws and we address the question if "love is enough" for the couple to survive their in-laws. We discuss dealing with all the in-laws (including, brother, sister, father, mother, and even aunty and uncles - Inlaw). The wisdom shed on this episode should be retained for generations to come.

A very uncomfortable truth and fact is that death is guaranteed for all of us. When a parent suddenly passes away, it is often very difficult to express what that loss feels like because many times we view our parents as indestructible and built to live forever. On this episode, we are joined by a special guest Praise Izinyon who is the president of the Alex & Grace Izinyon Foundation (AGIF) and Femi as they discuss their experience dealing with the loss of their parent. They share their process of grief, regrets they may have had, support for their siblings, and how they tried to support the surviving parent. They open up about the unseen aspects of dealing with this unique process of having to bury the Parent that nurtured and took care of you from birth. One key thing for us to remember is that "you never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory". Love and make time for the people in your life because that is one of the best ways to enjoy everyday life especially as we don't know what the future holds.

Being a black successful woman in 2020 should be viewed as attractive and impressive. However, the reality still seems that some black men are intimidated by succesful women, which even leads to our black women having to down play their achievements for the sake of getting along and being approached for more intimate relationships by men.In this episode, we are joined by successful ladies, Alex, Rennae, and Onyeka as we define success and why some men are still insecure about a successful black woman. The ladies also share their experiences dealing with stereotype concepts such as women not being submissive to their partner because of their achievements. We aim to uncover the false assumptions about these stereotypes in other to encourage men to be more confident in approaching successful women without limits and barriers.

Falling in love is great but staying in love while living miles apart comes with its own challenges. Different circumstances in a relationship may cause us to be apart from a loved one and while some relationships flourish from the distance, we have come to learn that the distance apart may not always be a smooth process for the couple. With your other half a thousand miles away, how does one keep the fire burning? How does one show love? In this episode, we talk about the realities of being in a long distance relationship and the hosts Lammy, Alex, and JJ shed some light on some of the real issues that arise from the distance and the emotional, and physical strain it may have. We also examine some of the positives and the kind of mindset to adopt if long distance relationship is the circumstance you find yourself in.

We all aim for our deep and romantic relationships to stand the test of time and survive happily ever after. However, we are faced with the reality that sometimes, there are cracks, which appear and some relationships eventually break down. In this episode, we speak openly about the realities of a break up, separation, or divorce. We speak about loneliness, shame that comes with breaking up in the a Afro-carrebean community, and explaining to young children why daddy and mummy now live in different houses. We are joined by JJ, Rennae, Danny, and Alex as they share their experiences and what life gems we can learn from in nurturing our relationships and also preparing and enjoying your best life even after a difficult break up.

We all aim for our deep and romantic relationships to stand the test of time and survive happily ever after. However, we are faced with the reality that sometimes, there are cracks, which appear and some relationships eventually break down. In this episode, we speak openly about the realities of a break up, separation, or divorce. We speak about loneliness, shame that comes with breaking up in the a Afro-carrebean community, and explaining to young children why daddy and mummy now live in different houses. We are joined by JJ, Rennae, Danny, and Alex as they share their experiences and what life gems we can learn from in nurturing our relationships and also preparing and enjoying your best life even after a difficult break up.

Your accent is the way you sound when you speak and in reality everybody has an accent – in somebody else’s opinion. Most accents have some kind of stereotype attached to them. While European and American accents are found to be sophisticated and elegant, other non-white accents such as African, Caribbean, Asian, or Latino accents maybe perceived to be crude and lower class because those minority groups are treated lower in society and their accents are associated with something undesirable.Although people poke fun at British or American accents, but it’s never with the intention of making it sound unrefined, as it is with other accents.The thing about mocking accents is that we often dismiss how hurtful they can be under the pretence of “it was a joke” or “all in good fun.” But for people who have relations to accent issues, it can be hurtful and impact their confidence as there still exists in our society subtle discrimination against them to indicate they are different. On this episode, we discuss whether having a Non-Amercian or Non-European accent has an impact on your confidence or ability to progress economically and take up more senior leadership roles in society. We are joined by Rennae, JJ, and Kene as they share their personal experiences on how their accents have been perceived and why this shouldn’t be a barrier to achieving your goals and speaking up when any form of social injustice or discrimination is directed towards you or any of your loved ones.

On the 25 May 2020, the world witnessed the brutal and savage killing of George Flyod ("Big George") as a police offer in Minneapolis, USA, knelt on George's neck for 8 minutes 46 seconds, while George was handcuffed and held down by 2 other police offers. The police offer had his hands in his pocket while he smothered the life out of George even when he cried for his Mamma and repeatedly pleaded "I can't breathe"...Mamma.... I can't breathe"..... The outrage of George's death sparked a mass protest globally in every continent of the world and some demonstarators pulled down a slave master statue and threw into a canal in Bristol, UK. George's death has led to an outcry that says "Black Lives Matter". As black Africans, we continue to suffer from the prejudice of being black and we have had enough. We are not to be treated as animals and we are not to be killed as animals. Our Lives Matter. We should not experience hatred because of the colour of our skin. In this episode, we are joined by the Cultural Ties Podcast family of Black Africans as we delve deep into why our lives matter. We share our experiences being on the receiving end of racism and we speak up to encourage every Black person in any part of the world to know and believe that we are specially and fearfully created by God and we are bold, beautiful, blessed, intelligent, and equal to all human beings on planet earth. No race is superior - We are all Equal and must be treated equally in love and respect. Black Lives Matter!

The question of where you call home creates mixed emotions because at different points and stages in life, we could regard anywhere as home. However, the pull for many Foreign Africans who feel they have 2 homes often leads to a reduced quality of life, economic advancement, and identity crisis because they may live in diaspora but still dream of home in Africa or the Carribean. This impacts our community and a generations economic and physiological advancement and we must realise that while the choice of Home is a blessing, it may also come with a trap we must be aware of. We are joined by hosts Kene, Seun, and Rennae who give us a perspective on how we could consider this subject and look to light a path for generations to come.

The question of where you call home creates mixed emotions because at different points and stages in life, we could regard anywhere as home. However, the pull for many Foreign Africans who feel they have 2 homes often leads to a reduced quality of life, economic advancement, and identity crisis because they may live in diaspora but still dream of home in Africa or the Carribean. This impacts our community and a generations economic and physiological advancement and we must realise that while the choice of Home is a blessing, it may also come with a trap we must be aware of. We are joined by hosts Kene, Seun, and Rennae who give us a perspective on how we could consider this subject and look to light a path for generations to come.

With the advancement of technology and boom of Social Media this decade, many are now heavily reliant on technology to interact and socialise. The Covid-19 pandemic has also forced many nations to ban mass public gatherings in the church. The rise of mega churches in America such as Elevation, the T.D Jakes Ministries, Joel Osteen, and Joyce Meyer's Ministries have all leveraged on the use of digital and audio technology to reach all corners of the world. In this episode we discuss whether it is still compulsory to go to a physical church building every Sunday. We discuss whether this is merely a religious exercise and if people can still develop spiritually outside the confines of a physical church? We are joined by Lammy, Beatrice, and Nnamdi as they share their views and experience on whether or not going to church is still important and compulsory.

The topic of death and its impact is usually preferred to be swept under and perhaps brought up another time. When it comes to the subject of a Will, many Foreign Africans prefer to keep it hush and convince themselves they we won't die anytime soon. In this episode, we discuss what you should know about creating a will and why ignorance around the subject can be a barrier to wealth transfer and preserving generational wealth. We are joined by Rannae, Femi, and Dr.Mobo, all at different stages in their lives and all still in their thirties (30's). We aim to demystify why having a will is essential and not reserved only for those whom society deems are old, wealthy, or have children. One of the key factors in the discussion is that eventually, we can't afford to procrastinate on this issue because our appointment with death is unpredictable.

Most people acknowledge that children are a miracle and also a bundle of joy However, most Foreign Africans still prefer a particular gender which leans more to a baby boy rather than a girl. We discuss why some still feel a dissapointment over having daughters and why some of our cultural traditions still stigmatise the birth of girls albeit subtly. We are joined by parents Frank, Seun, and Beatrice as they share their experiences and journey on joyfully appreciating the blessings of their children. We discuss the importance of a mindset shift which can help resolve any dissatisfaction that lingers when a gender of a child is known after conception. https://cultural-ties.buzzsprout.com/

Despite the perception you portray of being wealthy and comfortable on social media, many are still unable to purchase any landed properties. So, we discuss whether not having a property should be viewed as a disappointment and something to be ashamed of? We dig deep to understand the roots why Foreign Africans are not encouraged or given a heads-start from an early stage into property ownership. We are joined by a passionate personal finance advocate Femi and other co-hosts Seun and Beatrice as they break down the mindset we should have and why there should be no barriers to starting small while we build generational wealth.

In the past 15 years there has been a boom of engagements, marriages, and romantic relationships formed by Foreign Africans currently in their late 20's to Mid 30's. In the process of living out a committed relationship, there are expectations placed on Men. We discuss whether these expectations are affecting the confidence of many Men who seem to be struggling to live up to the realities of their role as Provider, Lover, and Partner. As a result, many relationships are fragile and breakups are increasing.We are joined by Danny, Alex, and Beatrice as they share from their experiences how men can better understand themselves and their roles so they can be the God fearing, loving, wealthy, and committed "Prince Charming" our women want them to be.https://cultural-ties.buzzsprout.com/

The pressures of being single and in your 30's can be stressful for the males and especially for the females. We discuss why Foreign Africans come under pressure from family and friends when they are in their 30's and where these expectations come from. We also discuss the female's perspective on companionship and child-bearing and how it plays a role in influencing their choices and barriers it also creates in their mind. We are joined by Danny, Catherine, and Alex who also share their experiences and some personal stories on how we can overcome those unnecessary burdens and barriers associated with being single at a certain age while we focus on developing ourselves and enjoying everyday life.

We talk about the typical African lavish wedding and if weddings should always be expensive affairs? We discuss the influence of BellaNaija and the contrast with reality, which may be causing couples to focus on a day of celebration to impress the guests while forgetting that there is a long road ahead after the wedding day. We have with us experienced and sort after wedding planners (Alex Aggrey and Beatrice Yega) and Onyeka who had her wedding featured on BellaNaija. They share with us important aspects of a wedding and how it should be viewed with the right lenses to give your marriage the best chance of survival in the long run.

A lot of pain is caused in our community because people feel miserable and shame sharing their struggles with infertility (unexplained or secondary infertility). We discuss the mental burden this places on the couple and their extended family. The Guests on this episode share their personal stories and we also talk alternative medical treatments available and how we can foster more open discussions on this really sensitive issue.

We discuss expectations placed on the modern day wife and how she may not be able to communicate how the pressure is affecting her and impacting on your relationship. We delve deeper to understand where these expectations are coming from and why we should reconsider whether these expectations are unrealistic and perhaps a wife wants a partnership rather than living up to the stereotype fantasy of your mum.https://cultural-ties.com/