Overcoming Working Mom Burnout

Thank you for being dedicated Overcoming Working Mom Burnout listeners. And thanks to all the guests who have made this podcast possible! I am excited announce the Leading Real Change podcast to help passionate people leaders create thriving workplace cultures for all, where parents won't burn out! Please listen in or find more at www.leading-real-change.com

This season featured 16 conversations with dads, which may seem odd for a podcast on overcoming working mom burnout. But I truly believe that if dads who have experienced full time caregiving are in leadership positions, they will help create the workplace systems change that will benefit moms and prevent burnout. I learned a lot about the barriers dads face and what we can do at home, at work and in society to support dads to be active parents. You can find my free guides to prevent burnout at www.DrJacquelineKerr.com/free-guides.

Michael Ray is a solo dad to daughter Charlie. He is an author, speaker, coach and activist with endless analogies to make sense of the challenges dads are facing in being active parents. He describes all the barriers that dads face in stepping into fatherhood and concludes that the only way to change that dynamic would be to incentivize dads to take leave. Michael's approach to parenting is to ask questions so that his daughter can find her answers within herself and he shares the joy he has experienced in becoming a connected, present dad. You can find my free guides to prevent burnout at www.DrJacquelineKerr.com/free-guides.

Aaron Coleman is the founder and CEO of Fitabase, a 10 year old technology company processing sensor data for scientists. He has two daughters who have made him more aware of the need for paid parental leave and flexible schedules, even in the confines of a small business. Aaron took a 3 month sabbatical this year to reset from surviving as a business during Covid and in the process took time to reflect on what he had achieved. You can find my free guides to prevent burnout at www.DrJacquelineKerr.com/free-guides.

Nihal Mehta is a dad to two boys and husband to change maker Reshma Saujani. He talks about giving each other time to focus and making time for exercise, especially with others. Using a stress monitoring app helps him keep burnout at bay. In particular, he advocates for dads creating friend groups so that they can feel appreciated more in their role and supported by other dads. You can find my free guides to prevent burnout at www.DrJacquelineKerr.com/free-guides.

Brian Anderson is a community organizer and dad to two girls. He leads the organization Fathering Together and recently wrote a book of the same name. He often blogs about being present with his girls and putting work aside for those moments.  Brian has had to balance his work mission with his desire to be a connected and available dad. He also talks about systems being the relationships between people and at the simplest level asking: did I make somebody's day better today? You can find my free guides to prevent burnout at www.DrJacquelineKerr.com/free-guides.

Art Eddy is a stay at home dad, ex radio host, and founder of The Art of Fatherhood. As an entrepreneur and lead parent he has to find time to take a break, often with his girls initiating that it's time to relax. Art supports other Dads through his writing and communications, challenging how Dads are often left out in key conversations. You can find my free guides to prevent burnout at www.DrJacquelineKerr.com/free-guides.

Dr. Charles Daniels is a therapist and TED Women conference speaker who was moved to tears during his talk as he described the struggles fathers face. He leads the organization Fathers Uplift. His approach to supporting fathers is multi-level, trying to change social stereotypes, providing community, and helping fathers self parent. Their secret sauce is how they make fathers feel. His wish for his children is to be able to choose purpose over performance. You can find my free guides to prevent burnout at www.DrJacquelineKerr.com/free-guides.

Jeremy Smith has two children and works full time. But following his experiences of taking paternity leave in the US, no less, he started speaking publicly about it and encourages other Dads to do the same. He shares some of the challenges of taking leave and the consequences it had at work. He also presents some tips about how to advocate for parental leave without becoming overwhelmed. Jeremy has hope that we have made progress on paternity leave and he sees innovative companies with younger leaders moving in further in this direction. You can find my free guides to prevent burnout at www.DrJacquelineKerr.com/free-guides.

Ian Dinwiddy has two kids and is the founder of Inspiring Dads where he coaches Dads to play a role at home and work. Clear early articulation of values, goals and expectations for sharing the parenting load was part of Ian's success. But also understanding the societal pressures that judge women as always responsible for the kids and in contrast giving men a pass when they make mistakes. And the expectation that even for primary caregiver men, if there is a women on the scene she is expected to step in and take the slack. I love the quote he shared: “Teach your daughter economic independence in the future so she can have a partner, not a master, and teach your son to do housework. So in the future he can have a partner, not a servant.” You can find my free guides to prevent burnout at www.DrJacquelineKerr.com/free-guides.

Eric Zimmer has two sons. He is the host of The One You Feed podcast, he's a behavior coach, spiritual leader and writer. Eric overcame addiction in his early years giving him a unique insight into work addiction. But interestingly when he found a new purpose in life and started working less in his day job, he found less was more. Eric talks about aligning our choices with our values and questioning the value of climbing the corporate ladder. You can find my free guides to prevent burnout at www.DrJacquelineKerr.com/free-guides.

Jasper Schipperijn is Dutch but lives in Denmark on a farm with his son who has Type 1 diabetes and his ex wife and ex mother in law. This non traditional approach to co-parenting has enabled all the family members to share the load leaving each of them more opportunity to thrive. Jasper leads international research on healthy communities and active playgrounds and shares many examples of policies that support caregiving. Jasper describes a team energy exercise that is such a great idea for learning what your team needs to be the most productive. You can find my free guides to prevent burnout at www.DrJacquelineKerr.com/free-guides.

Jago Brown has three kids. At his company Lead5050, he is developing an accreditation process for companies to work toward gender equality. He also is a trustee at Equality Starts at Home, which is a charity set up to look at the difficulties inequality in the home has on many people and the knock on effects to their work life. At home, he and his wife use a system to help them support each other in household and childcare tasks. Jago has a deep understanding of how to create equality and reminds us that one of the biggest benefits of equality for men is improved mental health. You can find my free guides to prevent burnout at www.DrJacquelineKerr.com/free-guides.

Dereck Reynolds has three children and works in the foster care system. He's the founder of Hug a Dad Foundation supporting dads to play active roles in their children's lives and the community at large. Dereck talks about the importance of positive male role models for young Black men. He understands that we need individual change, family change, community change and legal change to support stronger families and healthy communities. You can find my free guides to prevent burnout at www.DrJacquelineKerr.com/free-guides.

Jim Young is a burnout coach, author, comedian, and Dad of three. His new book Expansive Intimacy leverages the emotional intelligence we need in the workplace, allowing Dads to form deep connections and show up in more ways as a caring human as well as a competent CEO. Jim uses humor in his posts as well as his formal work with corporations, employing improv comedy as a way to elicit authentic and playful interactions in safe spaces. Jim wanted to be a nurturing Dad but could not find the time and support to do that in corporate America. His burnout journey led him to define success in a different way, by the depth of his connections. You can find my free guides to prevent burnout at www.DrJacquelineKerr.com/free-guides.

Dan Flanagan is a branding expert and community organizer for Dads, running Dad La Soul. He shares his story of burnout and how his career change allowed him to become a more involved Dad and provide a supportive structure for other Dads. He challenges the stereotypes of Dads as incompetent caregivers. And shares how building a global community organization just starts by starting. Dad La Soul exists to orchestrate a revolution in the way that the stories and struggles of the 6 million dads in the UK are seen, heard, and supported. You can find my free guides to prevent burnout at www.DrJacquelineKerr.com/free-guides.

Aaron Hipp has 3 adopted children and shares parenting as a team since both parents work full time. He is learning to set better boundaries around work, while also trying to recognize that his personality makes him enthusiastic about so many opportunities. He has learned from his wife to better communicate his needs but he wishes that Dads could be accepted by other Moms as equally capable helpers in their kids' lives when they do step up. He appreciates that the social norm in his workplace is supportive of parents, but he is aware that without policies codifying that support, a new leader could come in and destroy that culture. You can find my free guides to prevent burnout at www.DrJacquelineKerr.com/free-guides.

Eric Arthrell helped research and write the report The Design of Everyday Men, A New Lens for Gender Equality Progress when he was at Deloitte. This report highlights that the ‘always on always available' culture leads to greater gender inequality and burnout. Eric now works from home and is the main caregiver for his two children. He talks about how Dads have to educate themselves to become more active participants in parenting and how supporting moms to take breaks from parenting is key. You can find my free guides to prevent burnout at www.DrJacquelineKerr.com/free-guides.

This week I am doing a quick wrap up to Season 3. We're heading into 60 episodes and 20 thousand downloads. So thanks for listening and supporting this podcast. I hope you learn as much as I do from it!

Ruchika Tulshyan is the author of Inclusion on Purpose and The Diversity Advantage. She is also the founder of Candour, a company that supports inclusion strategies in the workplace. Ruchika describes her personal journey that led to her focus on inclusion and how the biggest barrier is not recognizing your own role in changing inclusion. In particular, how our stories of working hard get in the way of seeing our privilege. Ruchika provides several helpful frameworks to embrace the discomfort of addressing inclusion and making a difference. You can find your free guides to burnout at www.DrJacquelineKerr.com/free-guides

Alison Butler is a Chief Wellness Officer and creator of the program The Energy Answer. Certified in Mental Health First aid, Alison shares how to go beyond recognizing problems to actually practicing self-care and setting boundaries. She talks about moving from saying to doing in organizations, starting by creating psychologically safe cultures, but also through role modeling by leaders at all levels. Find your free burnout guides at www.DrJacquelineKerr.com/free-guides

Debbie Cohen and Kate Roeske Zummer wrote the book Humanity Works Better. It summarizes their approach to coaching companies towards more meaningful connection and how to develop skills to improve human interactions. Their book and conversation is full of so many examples of scenarios in companies where coaching individuals and teams to take on different perspectives and different levels of awareness improved connection. And in many situations recognizing the exhaustion in the room has been key to successful progress. Download your free burnout guide on my website www.DrJacquelineKerr.com.

Mita Mallick is the co-host of the Brown Table Talk podcast. She writes thought provoking posts on LinkedIn. And is the Head of Inclusion at Carta. She draws upon her own experiences of not belonging as a child and later in the workplace. She didn't always know how to speak out, but once she found her voice, she has been a dedicated advocate for change. Mita's advice is always very practical and to the point. In this episode, she poses quite simple questions that we can all ask ourselves to see what more we could be doing to advance belonging and prevent burnout. Find your free burnout guides on www.DrJacquelineKerr.com/free-guides

Eve Rodsky is the author of Fair Play and Unicorn Space. The documentary Fair Play also outlines her journey as an activity for equality. Her books provide tools to 1) start a new conversation about time in the home and how to value all time equally and 2) how as a mother you can make yourself unavailable to your family to spend time creating something meaningful for yourself and others, guilt-free. Valuing your time and having your time valued by others is such an important part of burnout prevention, because when we give our time away for free we are left feeling depleted and unappreciated. Download your free burnout guide on my website www.DrJacquelineKerr.com.  

Dr Sharon Grossman is a psychologist and coach, she hosts the podcast Decoding Burnout and is the author of The 7E Solutions to Burnout. Sharon walks us through the 12 stages of burnout from Freudenberger and North providing examples that we can spot in ourselves and our colleagues. She also then suggests different solutions depending on whether you have the energy to self coach or whether you need support and accountability from an external coach. Sharon loves working with high achieving women in medicine to help them find different ways to thrive in a challenging environment. Download your free burnout guide on my website www.DrJacquelineKerr.com.

Karin Tischler is a job sharing expert and podcast host who helps companies understand the benefits of flexible workplace arrangements. More than location flexibility, employees want flexibility when they work. Karin shares the many advantages to having two brains in a single role, and how it opens up the talent pool to increase expertise and diversity at work. Download your free burnout guide on my website www.DrJacquelineKerr.com.

Christine Anastasia is a coach and mom of 3. She joined me shortly after the birth of her third child, which sounds crazy, but she had changed the script for #3. She was prioritizing herself as much as her child. She was focusing on her healing and realized that she was modeling this not only for her daughter but also for her mother who was a strong woman, but an over-giver. Christine was learning to set boundaries and break the cycle and in this she was finding more joy in mothering than ever before. Download your free burnout guide on my website www.DrJacquelineKerr.com.

Farah Harris is the author of The Color of Emotional Intelligence. She draws upon her experience as a therapist to guide organizations through cultural change around understanding what emotional intelligence is and how it is applied by different groups in organizations. Some groups have to apply emotional intelligence just to survive and others to thrive. In her practice Farah challenges organizations to ask the key questions to unlock what are the daily actions that need to change to align with corporate values.

Katherine Goldstein is a journalist and social activist. Her podcast the Double Shift challenged the status quo of motherhood in America. In this episode, she shares the challenges of being in the newsroom as a mother, but also what she has learned from interviewing successful change advocates. One key message is: don't do it alone. Download your free burnout guide on my website www.DrJacquelineKerr.com.

Dr Amy Beacom and Sue Campbell wrote the Parental Leave Playbook and provide support through the Center for Parental Leave Leadership. Maternity leave has such an important connection to burnout because it creates a trajectory for moms returning to work depending on how long and how much support they have had during leave. Moms can also be going into maternity leave with high levels of stress, or can be returning to stressful situations with very little support for that transition. Download your free burnout guide on my website www.DrJacquelineKerr.com.

Laura Knights is trained as a therapist, social worker, and in leadership development. She brings so much lived experience and wisdom to this episode. As the creator of the Black Woman Leading program and podcast she has seen the struggles of burnout and workplace trauma that Black women have faced. In her own work, she creates safe spaces for leaders to share their experiences and she teaches leaders at all levels of an organization how to better support their employees. Download your free burnout guide on my website www.DrJacquelineKerr.com.

Jennifer Moss is the author of The Burnout Epidemic. Her book focuses on the role organizations play in burnout. Written during the pandemic, Jennifer presents case studies of how vulnerable and flexible leadership allowed companies to better adapt. Leaders have to role model healthy work habits but also if we recognize how much we have learned about resilience during the pandemic we can have the confidence to make workplaces of the future more sustainable. Download your free burnout guide on my website www.DrJacquelineKerr.com.

Dr Whitney Casares wears many hats but she sees them fundamentally as leadership roles. She leads in her pediatrician practice, in her mom support business and in her home. This leadership stance allows her to have a higher vision for life based on her core values. And she isn't the one doing all the work. She is directing it. And this approach as well as a physiological understanding of stress, helps her manage her own burnout and prevent it in others. Download your free burnout guide on my website www.DrJacquelineKerr.com.

Dr Kerr summarizes what she has learned in the last 6 months from Season 2 guests and what she is looking forward to sharing next from Season 3 guests. Watch my TEDx talk ‘How to Stop Burnout Before It Starts here' https://youtu.be/9YY0gVnVPoQ And download your free guide 4 ways to spot burnout in your employee on my website www.DrJacquelineKerr.com

Allison Venditti is based in Canada, but is a global expert in HR. She supports working moms through her organization Moms at Work. She posts and speaks regularly about pay transparency and pay equity at work. Lack of reward is a cause of burnout so preventing pay inequality can prevent burnout. Of course when I first reached out to Allison she was way too busy to be on the podcast, but as the pandemic took its toll and she personally experienced burnout, she wanted to share her story so others could see that it's normal to be undone by what we are going through at the moment. Watch my TEDx talk ‘How to Stop Burnout Before It Starts here' https://youtu.be/9YY0gVnVPoQ And download your free guide 4 ways to spot burnout in your employee on my website www.DrJacquelineKerr.com

Toyosi Babalola is a talented app developer who has created the Abule app to support families with a village of service providers. Based on a bartering system and a tribe of users, families can get support or provide support through ride shares, meals, classes, tutoring, summer activities etc. One of the most important tools for reducing burnout is leveraging resources. The Abule app makes this easy. Watch my TEDx talk ‘How to Stop Burnout Before It Starts here' https://youtu.be/9YY0gVnVPoQ And download your free guide 4 ways to spot burnout in your employee on my website www.DrJacquelineKerr.com

This week, I'm going to introduce to you the science of burnout. Last week, I interviewed Isabel Torres, who was the leader of Mothers in Science. In honor of her work in science, I would like to share some of the science behind burnout as an occupational phenomenon and how to use science to solve burnout. Watch my TEDx talk ‘How to Stop Burnout Before It Starts here' https://youtu.be/9YY0gVnVPoQ And download your free guide 4 ways to spot burnout in your employee on my website www.DrJacquelineKerr.com

Dr Isabel Torres leads the advocacy organization Mothers in Science. She had been collecting data and providing solutions through science, stories, networking, toolkits and polices. I wanted to speak with Isabel because as a mom in STEMM, which includes medicine, I wasn't aware of the gender barriers and bias I faced. I assumed I was somehow failing. But Isabelle and others have shown that mothers are penalized in their scientific careers but fathers are not. This difference points to a systemic problem which Isabel is fighting to dismantle.

Last week Allison Tsao, an organization development specialist and I spoke about leading with more humanity in the workplace and a large part of that leadership is being a role model. Often we think about role models as aspirational, larger than life characters. But everyday role models, people like you, are an essential part of individual behavior change and culture change. Please watch my TEDx talk: https://youtu.be/9YY0gVnVPoQ

Allison Tsao is an organization development specialist. She is the founder of Humans Who Lead. She has a series of blog posts about transformational change and systems change. Allison is based in Australia, and as you probably know, I love to hear international perspectives. We haven't talked about change burnout much on this podcast. So I appreciated Allison's expertise on this topic. Please watch my TEDx talk: https://youtu.be/9YY0gVnVPoQ

This mini episode, based on my conversation with Dr Kate Murray, will focus on what you can do personally when you are in an environment that doesn't value your contributions and is leading to your burnout. Many women spend a lot of time in their careers doing non-essential tasks that are not valued, yet we value our role in contributing to the greater good. How can start to unpack that messaging, take back control of what we do, and start to buck the system? Please watch my TEDx talk: https://youtu.be/9YY0gVnVPoQ

Dr Kate Murray is an associate professor at the Queensland University of Technology, Australia. She is a clinical psychologist who now focuses on systems change. Yet she brings that perspective from being a therapist, what can I do now from where I stand, what can I control, what small changes can I make that will make a difference? When many people are feeling overwhelmed by how much needs to change in society this focus is empowering. Please watch my TEDx talk: https://youtu.be/9YY0gVnVPoQ

Last week author, podcaster and coach Selina Barker and I spoke in some detail about our inner critics during the episode on a step by step guide to burnout recovery. In particular, Selina, who wrote the book Burnt Out calls her inner critics her shitty committee. I wanted to focus this week's mini episode on this topic of befriending your inner critic and finding your inner mentor because it has been such a large part of my burnout journey.  Please watch my TEDx talk: https://youtu.be/9YY0gVnVPoQ

Watch the talk here and please share it. https://youtu.be/9YY0gVnVPoQ

Selina Barker wrote the book Burnt Out which stood out to me because it used the English spelling. So of course I got the audible version so I could hear her English voice giving me all this wise and compassionate advice. I loved this interview with Selina because it brought more of her back story to her book as well as included the first most important steps you need to take in burnout recovery. If don't have a coach, then this week Selina is that coach telling you to rest. To cancel all plans and rest. Coaches give us permission to do the thing we know in our hearts we need to do.  Please watch my TEDx talk: https://youtu.be/9YY0gVnVPoQ

Mary Beth Ferrante is an organizational specialist who provides individual coaching for employees, particularly moms, but who quickly learned that individual change is not enough, we also need to address organizational and social barriers. In particular, we need to have cultural change around the ideal worker as available 24/7 to being someone who is resourceful and whole and creative and engages in many aspects of their life. I wanted to interview Mary Beth because her work embodies addressing all levels of change that can support equity at home and work and therefore reduce burnout.  Please watch my TEDx talk: https://youtu.be/9YY0gVnVPoQ

This week's mini episode based on freedom coach Stephanie Chick's advice, provides a guide to being rather than doing. What does that mean? Doing has an end point or limitations such as only doing it when you feel comfortable. Being is when in every situation you commit to using one of Stephanie's 7 behaviors truthful, courageous, detached, loving, faithful, still and happy. Please watch my TEDx talk: https://youtu.be/9YY0gVnVPoQ

Stephanie Chick is a Freedom Coach and Master Teacher. She experienced burnout in corporate America but also started to create her role as a coach in that space. Her approach focuses on 7 behaviors: be truthful, be courageous, be detached, be loving, be faithful, be still and be happy. She also explains the difference between being and doing, which I have struggled with. Stephanie provides her clients with a roadmap and even offers some classes for free because she is so committed to sharing this approach.  Please watch my TEDx talk: https://youtu.be/9YY0gVnVPoQ

This week is a hybrid bonus episode. I am interviewing coach, keynote speaker and mom of 4 Jennifer Whitmer. But we're not talking about burnout or even being a mom, we are talking about our experiences of being a TEDx speaker. In March 2022, Jenn and I both were speakers at TEDx McMaster U. When we recorded this episode our talks had been aired for the virtual event but they were not yet out on the TED YouTube platform. And we both had similar experiences preparing and recovering from our talk. If you have ever thought about doing a TEDx talk because you have an important message to share, we will give some really pertinent insights from our experience. Please watch my TEDx talk: https://youtu.be/9YY0gVnVPoQ

Professor Rebecca Pope-Ruark is a burnout coach and author of an upcoming book on faculty burnout in women. When she asked for submissions on burnout, only women faculty responded! Rebecca describes how her love of teaching evolved into burnout and how she now supports faculty in their careers. We talk about why higher education is a particularly challenging environment to address burnout culture, yet why it is so important as we are preparing the citizens of the future. Please watch my TEDx talk: https://youtu.be/9YY0gVnVPoQ

This week's mini episode based on life and career coach Dr Lara Corr's advice, provides a guide to filtering your expectations through a mediocre man mindset.  This is not about man bashing. It is about getting perspective. How many of the moms around you admit to being mediocre? My guess is most are like me, wearing my busy badge with pride and enjoying that feeling of being needed by being a martyr. We are not the role models you need for setting reasonable expectations. A mediocre man might provide a more reasonable measuring bar. Please watch my TEDx talk: https://youtu.be/9YY0gVnVPoQ