The Midnight Ramblings

  "Sex is a very big thing in all of the books, in all of the guides, because it's important.  And nobody talks about it."Learn More about Dad's Survival Guide (3 book series)

 "I have really strong memories of both them, and connections with them, anytime I go to Disney…. But the memories that I have here, and the feelings that I have here, are not ones of sadness. It's really something that's very positive."

"Looking back, I get excited by the dark times…because that signals to me a change. I know something good is going to come of it."

"I would lose direction for a split second.  But then that fire, that passion inside of me, was always that guiding compass.  She was my compass."

"When you feel sad, it's not something to be avoided…. It's something to be processed."

"When motivation exceeds the fears you have anything is possible"

This Week's Rambling: Essie Marie, joins the podcast and discusses the healing power of sound.

"I have to tell you it was so painful to have to prove that my son was sufficiently fucked up enough, to qualify for services."

"This is what happens when we tape live at midnight."

"I use to be one of these people,  I feel like I would be living for Friday.  Every day.  Like just get through the week and then... Oh my gosh— Friday, Saturday Sunday, ahhhh!"  

"I think we also have a responsibility to feel hope, and a need to feel hope, in order to keep moving forward."

"I feel like the thing is, that 'deserving' is probably one of the most powerful words in that speech of hers (Hillary's)."

"We all have that space to fill and no one else is going to fill it.  It's our duty in a way."

"I look at the way they were with their parents, and I don't like it at all.  And I feel like I am breaking that story and I am teaching my children that this is what we do—with boundaries."

"I met Sandra in a dive shop…. It can be as simple as picking one dive shop of 16 on a tiny little Island in Indonesia. And who know what happens if I go to another one."

"I was absolutely convinced that everything I did I got there because nobody realized I wasn't qualified."

"She always stressed to me…this is not a zero-sum game…. The pie can get bigger."

"You have to regulate how much pleasure you take in.  If you take in too much pleasure you will have dis-ease because you'll always be grasping to be high."

"I know who I am.  I might be in tears or I might have a big smile on my face, but I just know who I am in Christ."

"They are my Silver Linings…. They are everything to us.  They somehow knew what we needed when we had no idea what we wanted."

"They are my Silver Linings…. They are everything to us.  They somehow knew what we needed when we had no idea what we wanted."

"I like that idea that we need space in order to shake things up or to move things".

"I worry about the divide in the country…. It's very easy to be pessimistic…. I think probably one defense mechanism a lot of us use is to just close our eyes. Like we don't want to see the reality of the divide."

"I was just shy of 45 when I was diagnosed.  I didn't know anyone who had gone through cancer at a young age.  Honestly, it wasn't until I met Brooke, I was so sorry she was sick, I obviously didn't want her to have cancer, but I was like, I found someone who could understand what I had been through."

"I was just shy of 45 when I was diagnosed.  I didn't know anyone who had gone through cancer at a young age.  Honestly, it wasn't until I met Brooke, I was so sorry she was sick, I obviously didn't want her to have cancer, but I was like, I found someone who could understand what I had been through."

"I was just shy of 45 when I was diagnosed.  I didn't know anyone who had gone through cancer at a young age.  Honestly, it wasn't until I met Brooke, I was so sorry she was sick, I obviously didn't want her to have cancer, but I was like, I found someone who could understand what I had been through."

This Week's Rambling: Nancy B. Perlson joins the podcast. A Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Yoga Instructor with extensive experience in grief, loss, and trauma, Nancy describes her current phase of transition as similar to the phases of the moon, "Always full and whole behind the waxing and waining shadow. Even though we go through these periods where we feel more darkness than light, it's important to recognize that behind that shadow we have everything we need to get through this."

"I process for a long time.  I'm not anxious about what is, or if there is, something else.  It's the joy of what is it, next!"

"I feel really blessed to have this creative outlet.  So a lot of the things I spend my time and my brain spinning thoughts about, I kind of work out in those quiet moments in my studio.   And it ends up being the things that my work is really about."

"Sometimes I'll just put the conductors score down on the table and just look at it and just say 'This just a piece of paper with ink on it.  And it means nothing.'  And (then) I get a bunch of musicians together and all of a sudden it's alive."

"What I've learned or taken away.  I've said to my daughters over and over, 'Be willing to have difficult conversations with people.' Be willing to talk and when things are hard open up a conversation, as difficult as it can be."   PLEASE NOTE:  The content of this episode contains sensitive subject matter.  It is the experience of Bob King, and therefore, is not intended to judge or diagnose any person/s discussed in this podcast.  The full names of all those discussed have been changed or purposely omitted to provide anonymity.  NOT PROFESSIONAL ADVICEIf you need specific advice (for example, medical, legal, financial, or risk management) please seek a professional who is licensed or knowledgable in that area.

"In this process of forgiveness and healing like the last person I'm going to forgive in all this is probably myself.  I'm working on it though.  I'm working on it."PLEASE NOTE:  The content of this episode contains sensitive subject matter.  It is the experience of Bob King, and therefore, is not intended to judge or diagnose any person/s discussed in this podcast.  The full names of all those discussed have been changed or purposely omitted to provide anonymity.  NOT PROFESSIONAL ADVICEIf you need specific advice (for example, medical, legal, financial, or risk management) please seek a professional who is licensed or knowledgable in that area.

"I realize … (dance) was my access to the spiritual…. It took me a long time to understand what it was about ballet and about dance that was so healing for me.  And when I stopped dancing is when I went into the eating disorder."

"We go to a place that is this little island that you have to take a ferry to.  And you can't do anything…. It's one of the only places I can relax.  It takes that to get me out of my space."

"I met some doctors that refused to diagnose my daughter's illness.  They said the illness had to present itself, that we had to understand what it was.  And I trust those two men so deeply because they didn't have the hubris to say, '...this is the causality.'  They patiently waited to understand what could have possibly been wrong with her.  And those are the people who I trust."

"Once you start judging you stop observing, and you stop perceiving."

"It's almost like I've had a narrative and everything has made sense.  I've been on track the whole time.  And now I'm totally off track.  It's like I've flipped the page of the book and it's blank.  Not in a bad way, as a matter of fact in a very peaceful and calming kind of way."

"When someone walks into a room and they are confident, and they are secure in what they are saying, and how they feel about themselves, that is the most attractive thing." 

"That's the journey of a play.  It's called transformation.  What we think we know is transformed by our experience of watching, or living, as the case may be."

"I went to Chemo every time.  And I got dressed up like this.  I did my hair and my makeup and I walked in there like I'm not going to be defeated by this.  I'm putting my best foot forward.  I'm dressing up.  And the nurses they were like "Oh my gosh,  where'd you get those shoes?"  I'm coming in here like I'm gong to tackle it.  Not like I'm defeated by it. "

"We really hope that when he finds out that his father fought hard for him, that he understands why we did what we did."

"During the course of those six years I found myself so changed by the experience because I always saw myself as a person who believed in all the poetry of the justice system….  I expected the court system to protect the most vulnerable among us. And what I saw was just the opposite."  

"It's strange that in this whole crazy, Covid year, I started to feel comfortable with where I'm at. But it's really true.  And maybe because of that (Covid) in a way."  NOT PROFESSIONAL ADVICEIf you need specific advice (for example, medical, legal, financial, or risk management) please seek a professional who is licensed or knowledgable in that area.

"She said, 'You must keep me alive until 11AM on June 13th. ' And they looked confused and she said, 'Well, we were married in Buffalo at 2PM  (11PM, PT) on June 13th.  And I always thought…I want to be married 50 years.'  So we made it. "

"I just think when you get to know people, as you were mentioning, in any circumstance, your ability to understand is an automatic thing."

"I think of English as my primary language.  It's not my mother tongue...I think the way I address the guilt...is by being active about it. Again, what can I do?  Well, I can amplify certain voices."

"I think it's a lot easier than people think to transition from paper towels to cloth rags. So here's what I do.  I buy a bunch of those bar towels...and then keep a little hamper....  As you use them, throw them in the hamper and then every few days...throw them in the wash." NOT PROFESSIONAL ADVICEIf you need specific advice (for example, medical, legal, financial, or risk management) please seek a professional who is licensed or knowledgable in that area.

"I just thought of this quote by Michaelangelo.  It says, 'The sculpture is already complete within the marble block before I start my work. It's already there, I just have to chisel away at the superfluous materials.'   Kids have this intrinsic material inside them....We are just kind of chiseling away and helping to shape what's inside." NOT PROFESSIONAL ADVICEIf you need specific advice (for example, medical, legal, financial, or risk management) please seek a professional who is licensed or knowledgable in that area.

"So I'm getting my food and there is a little boy next to me who is very unhappy because he has a plate of kale.... And I have a giant matzo cracker.... Then I go to the cashier, and she walks away." NOT PROFESSIONAL ADVICEIf you need specific advice (for example, medical, legal, financial, or risk management) please seek a professional who is licensed or knowledgable in that area.  

"We all have to find these avenues out--to get back in.... It could be guitar, it could be meditation, it could be writing, it could be writing lists...but it's a healthy coping mechanism.... Crossing your eyes is a way to physically almost loop back in because you're like, I'm here.  My eyes feel funny.  I'm present." If you or someone you care about feels overwhelmed with emotions like sadness, depression or anxiety, or like you want to harm yourself or others call 911.You can also contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) Disaster Distress Helpline at 800-985-5990, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or text MHFA to 741741 to talk to a Crisis Text Line counselor.

“An old, very dear, family member died and your brother called and asked, ‘How's it going?' And I said, ‘Not good'… Next day he calls me, he's like, check your email. I looked and they'd bought me a plane ticket to come out to Colorado….So I went.”NOT PROFESSIONAL ADVICEIf you need specific advice (for example, medical, legal, financial, or risk management) please seek a professional who is licensed or knowledgable in that area.