The Overwhelmed Brain

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Anxiety, depression, fears, obsession, panic, or any relationship, marriage or family issues, this show will help you achieve less stress and more happiness. Become empowered and honor yourself so that you can make decisions that are right for you. Mindfulness, compassion and being in the present mo…

Paul Colaianni


    • Jun 1, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • weekly NEW EPISODES
    • 1h AVG DURATION
    • 586 EPISODES

    4.5 from 1,817 ratings Listeners of The Overwhelmed Brain that love the show mention: overwhelmed brain, 2 for 1, tob, better than therapy, paul gives, paul's podcast, thanks for the reminder, paul colaianni, paul shares, paul is really, paul provides, paul's voice, thank you paul, paul makes, things into perspective, paul speaks, brain podcast, great job paul, thanks paul, gets me thinking.


    Ivy Insights

    The Overwhelmed Brain podcast is an incredibly valuable and insightful resource that I have been listening to for over a month now, and I am completely hooked. Hosted by Paul Colaianni, this podcast is a breath of fresh air as it offers a real, down-to-earth approach to tackling overwhelming emotions and challenges in life. What sets The Overwhelmed Brain apart from other podcasts is its raw and authentic nature. It isn't overly polished or scripted, which makes the content feel relatable and genuine. As a 25-year-old navigating through therapy and personal growth, this podcast has made me feel seen and understood.

    One of my favorite aspects of The Overwhelmed Brain is when Paul shares questions from other listeners. Hearing others ask similar questions or struggle with similar issues reassures me that I'm not alone in my experiences. It provides a sense of validation and fosters a feeling of connection within the listener community. Paul's advice is filled with common sense and simplicity, making it easy to understand and apply to real-life situations. Whether I listen before bed or during a walk, his calming voice helps me unwind and feel ready to face the challenges of the next day.

    If I were to point out any potential downside to The Overwhelmed Brain podcast, it would be that sometimes the examples given are solely based on Paul's personal experiences. While these examples are often helpful, it would be interesting to hear examples from other individuals as well. This could provide a broader perspective on different situations and allow for diverse insights.

    In conclusion, The Overwhelmed Brain podcast has been an immense source of support throughout my healing process. Paul's calm and compassionate approach allows him to unravel complex topics in a way that feels manageable for listeners. His honesty and straightforwardness create an environment where self-reflection can take place with kindness and understanding. As someone who plans on starting their own podcast someday, I am inspired by the impact that Paul has had on others. The world needs more voices like his, and I am grateful for the guidance and wisdom he brings to each episode.



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    Latest episodes from The Overwhelmed Brain

    When your best intentions turn into their disappointment

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 1, 2025 41:35


    The perfect night... almost. I read a reddit post where a user outlines a scenario where his best laid plans didn't pan out as he hoped, but he almost got everything right. That is, until his wife felt disappointed and unhappy by a single error that changed everything. 

    Is that really you inside your head?

    Play Episode Listen Later May 25, 2025 34:49


    Our inner critic can be our own worst enemy. Knowing where that voice comes from and if what it's saying is actually true can mean the difference between your happiness and your sanity - hopefully you get to keep both! 

    Some people are a black hole of suck all your life then they're gone

    Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2025 33:34


    The person who has been a toxic presence in my and my family's life has died. It's not necessarily a normal episode, but hopefully you'll gain something from it as I share the story and the lessons. 

    Those who never follow through what they say they're going to do

    Play Episode Listen Later May 11, 2025 29:31


    Some people seem to be stuck in a cycle of promises and no follow-through. When is enough enough? Some people use delay after delay to get away with never having to follow through with anything. Those people usually never change. 

    When you want to be more than friends

    Play Episode Listen Later May 4, 2025 44:56


    What do you do when you ask a friend if they would like to be closer, but they say no? The ramifications on the friendship can be anywhere from nothing to complete disaster. Is there a way back to being friends after such an awkward event?

    When you should avoid making decisions with lasting consequences

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 27, 2025 34:08


    Some decisions have a long-lasting effect. Sometimes that effect is positive; Sometimes it's not. . When you decide to get into or out of something, it's vital you don't set yourself up for failure and regret. 

    Life isn't exactly fulfilling when you are holding on to upset toward someone

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 20, 2025 31:03


    When you're holding on to that little bit of anger or upset about or toward someone else, maybe someone who is not even in your life anymore, it can decrease the quality of your happiness, maybe even diminishing it to a mere sliver of what it could be.  

    Stay in control or let it go?

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 13, 2025 42:55


    Do we have to carry the weight of our past negative experiences into our future? Staying in control and letting go of it have the very same effect. I get into more detail about that in this episode about choice. 

    The games our loved ones play

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 6, 2025 38:22


    "Go ahead, have a great time! Wait, are you leaving without me? What about my needs? No, I mean go ahead and have fun. I'll be good! Hey, don't feel bad about leaving me alone, I'll be fine. Oh, you don't feel bad? Why are you leaving me alone? How can you do this to me?" Need I say more? 

    What is love?

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 30, 2025 53:49


    How you define love will be what you get from it. If you don't have a definition for love, you may get stuck with something that appears to be love, but is really something else altogether. If you are 100% happy with the people you love in your life, skip this episode.  

    Never put your faith in anyone who makes you feel unworthy

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 23, 2025 27:58


    People who care about you should lift you up, not kick you when you're down. If someone keeps dragging you lower, trusting their words is like giving a vampire the keys to the blood bank.     

    When every argument is petty and unresolved

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 16, 2025 38:54


    Arguing isn't fun, but if it's going to happen, it should at least be productive. But what if it's never productive and you never get anything resolved? That's the question I tackle today. 

    The big life lessons that can change everything for the better

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 9, 2025 31:46


    There are some life lessons that we have to force ourselves to go through in order to make our circumstances better. Those lessons can feel like a massive leap over a bottomless chasm. But the rewards for such a leap can mean the difference between living a full life or one restricted by fear and uncertainty. 

    Am I really the problem?

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2025 48:44


    If you find that you define yourself in a negative way based on someone else's perception of you, you must listen to this episode. Is what they're saying about you really true? If you think that, we need to address that right away.

    Should payback for bad behavior be a relationship norm?

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 23, 2025 48:33


    What are your rights in a relationship with someone who is mistreating you or acting badly? Is it okay to get back at them and reciprocate with similar or worse behavior? What's fair in relationship warfare? Good question!

    Decluttering the overwhelmed brain

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 16, 2025 40:50


    If you find your mind feels like an overstuffed closet, and your actual closet is also overstuffed, I'll try to help you balance the mental and physical clutter in this episode. It's a special episode that strays away from the norm, but hey, out of eleven years of doing this show, one off the beaten path isn't going to hurt.

    When empathy is used against you

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 9, 2025 37:36


    Some people can be draining, especially if they play the victim after they've done bad behavior and expect you to empathize with them. Some people are very, very good at doing that. I talk about those people today.

    What can keep you stuck with the same results over and over again

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 2, 2025 47:26


    Our childhood coping mechanisms shape our adult relationships. Sometimes the old fears keep us from moving into new, better territory, keeping us stuck where we are. 

    Washing your hands of a problem that won't go away

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 26, 2025 38:05


    Some problems won't go away until you walk away from them. But walking away can be hard... sometimes impossible. And sometimes it involves sacrifice. And is walking away the only answer? 

    The pressure of sex and expectations in an established relationship

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 19, 2025 39:47


    Sometimes emotional and sexual expectations can be challenging to balance in a long-term relationship... but do they have to be? Or is intimacy just difficult with certain people who seem entitled to receive it instead of trying to build it from the ground up?     

    Feeling like you have no choice but to submit to ungrateful, uncaring people

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 12, 2025 70:20


    You know the type: They do nothing and you do everything. In this episode, I share the struggle of a woman who has a rocky relationship with her adult daughter who moved back in with her. I share a lot of thoughts and lessons we can learn what we can do, if anything, when the other person in your life is making things unnecessarily harder.

    The partner who likes things as they are when you're just miserable

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 5, 2025 42:51


    When you live with your romantic partner... And their relatives... And your partner doesn't seem to want that to change... What are your choices? Very hard question! I thought I'd tackle that today. 

    The people who avoid you

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 29, 2024 29:21


    Are you trying to reconnect with someone who's unresponsive? Maybe they want nothing more to do with you and maybe you don't know why? And maybe this episode gives you the final step to take with others who seem like all they care about is avoiding you. 

    The judgments you have about others that keep you unhappy

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 22, 2024 44:31


    If you've ever found yourself trying to change someone's habits or feeling frustrated by their behaviors, this episode might help you learn what it takes to deal with and maybe even heal with someone you just can't seem to fully accept. 

    How your coping mechanisms may be interfering with your happiness

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 15, 2024 57:15


    How you cope with challenges affects... well... your whole life really! It can be helpful to know what your coping mechanisms are and where you learned them so that perhaps you can examine them and choose different responses in the future. If it were only that easy. 

    The massive, impossible, overwhelming circumstances that make life feel hopeless

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 8, 2024 45:02


    Problems can add up, compound, and create a situation so impossible to get out of that there seems to be no hope. Is it total defeat or is there anything you can do? 

    Can you heal from the big reveal of your partner's past?

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 1, 2024 36:13


    So you get someone special and you're feeling pretty good abou things, but then they reveal something they did in their past that takes all those good feelings away. Now you're not sure what to do about it. Can you get over it? Will you ever look at them the same way again? I tackle that specific issue in this episode. 

    Those "Nothing" people when you ask what's wrong

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 24, 2024 35:07


    What do you do when someone won't share what's on their mind? They're acting very different, but they're refusing to say why. They might even tell you nothing's wrong. But you know something's up... 

    The family bonds that require boundaries

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 17, 2024 27:57


    What happens if you marry into a family that doesn't really honor your presence or your boundaries? Sometimes their family doesn't feel like yours, especially when you feel like a total outsider because of how you are treated. 

    Arguing your way to understanding

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 10, 2024 46:20


    If you find yourself caught in misunderstandings over seemingly simple matters like where you should store your house paint, you're not alone. Can clear communication prevail during an argument? There's a challenge in expressing emotions and maintaining balanced relationships. Hopefully I can help you guide through those challenges in this episode. 

    The bonds that never seem to end

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 3, 2024 29:43


    If you find you can't get certain people from your past out of your mind, the deep connections we form might go a lot deeper than we think. 

    When your relationships aren't exactly high quality or authentic

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 27, 2024 37:51


    Some relationships can be shallow and superficial. Some can be toxic and harmful. Then there are those that are quite meaningful. Why can't they all be meaningful? There might be a way to do that... but it comes at a risk. 

    What to do when someone you care about shows more excitement about their interests than you

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 20, 2024 35:11


    Some people like things we don't. Some get excited over the things we find uninteresting. What happens when their interests become more exciting to them than us? Do we accept our place in their line of priorities? Or is there a win-win in here that we may not have considered? 

    When people treat you as you were, not as you are

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 13, 2024 36:28


    Learning and growing is a natural part of life. Some people embrace those changes in you, but what about those who don't? What if all they see is who you've always been and aren't willing to see the new you? 

    When you love someone so much it doesn't matter how much they hurt you

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 6, 2024 34:54


    Can love keep the relationship together and override all? A loving person can also hurt you. But is love alone enough to resolve the deeper issues and provide long-term happiness? It's a very important question worth addressing.

    Can we get past the issues that divide us

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 29, 2024 42:42


    If you find yourself frustrated by divisive political or values conversations, this episode might be for you. Is there a way to maintain positive interactions despite opposing views? Hoping I can help you get off the merry-go-round of frustration and find solid ground in your relationships and discussions.

    Dealing with hurtful people who won't change

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 22, 2024 47:39


    Have you ever wondered why some people just won't change no matter how much you try? Don't they see that they are hurtful and toxic? Why can't they just be "normal"? I try to answer all of these questions and more in this episode. 

    I didn't ask to be born and I don't want to be here

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 15, 2024 48:23


    If you find yourself questioning the value of your existence or struggling with deep-seated negativity, this episode addresses those heavy, existential questions that might be weighing on your mind. How do you cope when life feels overwhelmingly difficult, and is it possible to find peace amidst persistent inner turmoil? Today I address that and more.  

    The people who don't grow may never accept your growth

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 8, 2024 42:59


    When certain people in your life prefer the old you instead of the new one, you may face their resistance and maybe even their frustration. When you learn, heal and grow, you let go of old dysfunctions and sometimes even old relationships if they can't adjust to the new you. 

    Can an unempathetic person develop empathy?

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 1, 2024 49:56


    Relationships require empathy. Without it, you will have an imbalance that will not only feel lonely, but also emotionally toxic. 

    Obsession and regret - when you just can't stop thinking about what happened

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 25, 2024 49:19


    Why do obsessive thoughts take over our minds? What keeps them there? And why can't we stop them after they start? There are so many questions about something so pervasive and invasive that I try to answer in this episode. If you're struggling to let go of past events and find yourself caught in cycles of regret and anger, I will help you get off the hamster wheel and on to steady ground again. 

    The part of you that you don't want others to see

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 18, 2024 46:58


    Do you ever wonder why it's so hard to show your true self to others? I explore how hiding parts of yourself can affect your relationships and what it takes to foster deeper emotional connections by embracing authenticity.

    Moving out of a full life of toxic family

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 11, 2024 43:06


    Leaving a toxic upbringing and the dysfunctional family home can bring about anxiety, fear, and even loneliness. Trauma bonding is real. Childhood experiences deeply impact adult behaviors and coping strategies, often unsuited for adult relationships. Stepping into a new life after you've known nothing but the old has its own set of challenges. 

    Relationship challenges, insecurities, and questions

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 4, 2024 51:07


    Relationships shouldn't be hard, but we know they can be. When they are more challenging because of their issues, or ours, or both, it's helpful to find the glimmer of light to shine on a seemingly dark situation. In this episode, I answer three different types of relationship questions. From pining over an ex to jealousy to compatibility and more. 

    What will you sacrifice to be happy?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 28, 2024 31:06


    Sometimes, happiness requires a loss. Many people aren't willing to take that loss, which might be the very reason they are unhappy. Getting to happiness isn't always just doing what makes you happy. It can be deeper than that, and some people don't want to go there. 

    Know your worth

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 21, 2024 42:09


    Sometimes we have to make a tough choice and give someone the bad news about our next step. That next step? Could be telling your boss you quit or a partner you're leaving. Some people can't handle bad news so you may be hesitant to tell them. Or maybe you are afraid of their reaction so you procrastinate.  After you listen to this episode, you'll know what the most important thing to remember is while telling someone what you need to do for yourself. 

    The missing ingredient that can sometimes make or break a new relationship

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 14, 2024 58:12


    Sometimes making new friends or romantic partners takes more than compatibility and similar values. There's an important ingredient to making connections at a deeper level and keeping those connections in your life. At the end of this episode, I share the results of a relationship survey I created. Where do many couples people meet? How do they meet? Lots to talk about. 

    The growing, compounding negative emotional energy building up inside you

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 7, 2024 38:20


    Unexpressed emotions can amplify inside you, causing you to build a tolerance for bad behaviors. What happens when you can't hold any more negative energy? Are you inadvertently building up resilience to things you should be addressing instead? 

    Jumping to conclusions and overreacting

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 30, 2024 31:59


    There's a good reason to manage emotional triggers to prevent damaging reactions in relationships. In this episode, I share a five-step process to visualize and prepare for these moments. There are long-term consequences when you're always jumping to conclusions and reacting to things that, perhaps, aren't as bad as you think. 

    Fool me three times, uh, shame on you again

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 23, 2024 36:35


    How many chances should you give someone before you realize that chances are only delaying the inevitable? Whether it's a friend, family member or partner, some people won't change. And when they won't, we may have to in order to find more peace and happiness in our lives. 

    You hurt me and now I want you to hurt... forever

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 16, 2024 54:08


    When you hurt someone, whether intentionally or not, there are several things that could happen: Maybe they forgive you, maybe they don't. Maybe they are willing to move on. Maybe they take a while to heal but eventually come around. Maybe they never want to talk to you again. Or maybe, just maybe, they want to hurt you back just to make you feel a tiny portion of how they feel. 

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