Podcast appearances and mentions of paul colaianni

Paul Colaianni has not always led an authentic life. Experiences as a child taught him that authenticity and self expression were detrimental to his health and the health of those around him, so he bottled them up. The result was a life rife with unsteady relationships, frustration, and disillusionment. It wasn't until facing the end of another relationship, that Paul reached an emotional, mental and spiritual breaking point, which sent him on a 10 year journey to study and self examine. Today, Paul is a self empowerment coach who uses his life experiences and the insights he's picked up along the way, to coach others through their challenges and help them reach their personal goals. In this episode, Paul shares what he's learned through a life of exploring what living authentically means to him, and he gets personal with me and he talks about his experience of growing up in an alcoholic home, destroying relationships with judgement and fear, and going through life not being his true authentic self. RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE Paul's website and podcast: https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/ STRUGGLING WITH CONSISTENCY?  Download the free "trust account" app from the YourDay Balance Game, and start building trust with YOURSELF today!  Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.balancegame.ydbg iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ydbg-watch-play-discover/id1489276659 FEELING THE IMPACT OF CODEPENDENCY? Watch the free #1 obstacle video and learn what derails all successful people and keeps them from moving from codependent to independent https://theydbg.com/obstacle-video/ WANT TO FEEL MORE CLARITY, CONFIDENCE AND PURPOSE? Get the "Having It A.L.L. Blueprint", my self-paced online program for designing and living your greatest life! https://hia.ck.page/products/blueprint CHECK OUT SOME OFFERS FROM OUR AWESOME PARTNERS Needed: https://bit.ly/3IKmWzL - use code HIA20 to get 20% off your order or HIA100 for $100 off a Complete Plan LEAVE THE PODCAST A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HAVING IT A.L.L. PODCAST CATALOG https://www.matthewbivens.com/ GET IN TOUCH WITH MATTHEW matthew@matthewbivens.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, Paul interviews me! Paul Colaianni brings his unique perspective as both a former emotionally abusive person turned healer. He shares that abusers often employ grooming tactics like mirroring their victim's interests to gain trust before turning the tables to exert control. I recount my personal battle with emotional abuse. I describe how she lost touch with her intuition and began conflating my needs with those imposed by my partner.Key takeaways from this conversation include:

Everyone knows what physical abuse is, and it is clearly not acceptable in modern relationships. What makes emotional abuse so sinister is that it is often justified by perpetrators in disbelief and hard to identify by conditioned victims. On this episode, Sheri and Matt welcome Paul Colaianni - behavior and relationship coach, and host of The Love and Abuse Podcast. Paul shares the issues that often lead to emotional abuse, ways to understand if you are a victim or abuser, and actions you can take to change patterns and behaviors. Plus, Paul has a really cool radio voice that makes his message soothing to the ears. If you would like to learn more about our SHOUT Sobriety program for high functioning alcoholics seeking sobriety, or our Echoes of Recovery program for the loved ones of alcoholics, please join us for a free, no-strings-attached information and Q&A session Wednesday, June 5th at 10:30am MDT. To request the ZOOM link, please send an email to matt@SoberAndUnashamed.com.

Paul Colaianni joins us for a Q&A episode on Emotional Abuse. We discuss the challenging emotions that come with leaving an abusive relationship, and how understanding these emotions can be the key to reclaiming your personal power. We also delve into the complex territory of setting boundaries in abusive relationships - a stark contrast to the way boundaries function in a healthy relationship.We shine a light on the healing journey post-abuse, focusing on self-reflection, self-validation, and the concept of re-parenting oneself. Paul candidly discusses his personal journey toward healing and offers invaluable advice to anyone looking to break free from abusive patterns. You can learn more about Paul here: loveandabuse.comSupport the showWebsite: Emotional Abuse CoachInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Navigating the labyrinth of emotional abuse can often be overwhelming. Paul Colainni joins us to help demystify reactive abuse - an insidious form of emotional manipulation where the abuser blames the victim for reacting to the abuse. We dissect the anatomy of reactive abuse, decode the abuser's intentions, and offer insights on how to differentiate it from your response. You can connect with Paul here: loveandabuse.comSupport the showWebsite: Emotional Abuse CoachInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Episode #154 This week, Terri shares an episode from a podcast that is new to her, but right up her alley.  She found an episode that addresses a topic she talks about often in her work in helping people change habits and eliminate those that are getting in their way. She often encourages others to recognize that their behavior patterns, even the problematic ones, are often coping strategies they learned long ago.  Listen to hear what she shares from Paul Colaianni's podcast The Overwhelmed Brain. Old Coping Skills That Don't Work Like They Used To: https://youtu.be/TTEPcuf30_k Please consider helping us make more episodes by supporting Daisy on Patreon. https://bit.ly/MondayMindsetPatreon If you have enjoyed listening to this episode, please leave us a review on iTunes or whichever platform you listen on. It really helps new people hear about the podcast. Connect with and follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube: https://bit.ly/MondayMindsetFB https://bit.ly/MondayMindsetIG https://bit.ly/MondayMindsetYT

Today's show begins with a little support on how to take effective work breaks that really reset your brain. Cause hey—so often we just don't do it. And… that's okay. We just have to learn how. Your brain will thank you for it!   My guest Paul Colaianni is one of the top experts on the Internet on how to hang on to your marriage. His podcast Love and Abuse is a really great teacher on all matters related to this sensitive subject.   Among other things we talked about:   -       Behaviors to look for in emotionally abusive relationships -       Why is it so hard to acknowledge you're in an abusive relationship -       What is the “You're Too Sensitive” game? -       The high cost of ‘the Silent Treatment' -       How to build the healthiest relationships possible. -       How to make sure you're not on a path of self-sabotage -       How boundaries fit in   May this help YOU be happier in relationship!   Much love,   Suzanne     RESOURCES   AG1 Nutritional Drink USE THIS LINK: athleticgreens.com/BUSYWOMEN Get a FREE 1-yearsupply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase   Suzanne's new book, Free Spirited: How My Daughter Healed Me From the Afterlife   The Art of the Work Break   Take a Nap! Change Your Life! Love and Abuse podcast    The Overwhelmed Brain podcast   The Overwhelmed Brain Empowerment Group on Facebook for anyone to join:         OUR GUEST Paul Colaianni is a Behavior and Relationship Coach. He hosts two podcasts, Love and Abuse and The Overwhelmed Brain, both which provide guidance on how to deal with toxic people and how to create the best relationships possible, both with yourself and others.  

What does it take for an Emotional Abusive person to change? What do they have to do to change? How did Paul know he had to change? Paul is a Relationship Coach and founder of The Overwhelmed Brain and the Love and Abuse podcasts. He created the MEAN workbook, a 200 point assessment to identify manipulative behavior.We talk through these questions in depth and I give real examples from my story of going through, and healing from, an emotionally abusive relationship. Where you can find Paul:Love and AbuseThe Overwhelmed BrainMEAN WorkbookConnect with me:Emotional Abuse CoachInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachWebsite: Emotional Abuse CoachInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partne...

Have you ever dated someone and all you wanted to do was make them happy? Are you emotionally connected to someone and do you have a cause for concern? Do your heart and mind ride the wave of emotion frequently from high to low and then repeat? Does this occur in all of your relationships? Is this a 'thing,' you know, like a pattern or behavior that you find yourself doing often? When someone is experiencing emotional abuse the red flags and signs are not always apparent because of the charismatic nature of their partner. Listen in as Paul Colaianni, host of the Love and Abuse podcast, highlight red flags that are often missed during the beginning of the courtship.

Additional resources for this episode:Recommended reading: Switch On Your Brain by Dr Carolyn LeafManaging Leadership Anxiety by Steve CussCleaning Up Your Mental Mess by Dr Caroline LeafCognitive Behavioral Therapy Made Simple by Seth GillianVisual CBT Avy by Joseph and Maggie ChapmanImperfections by Dr Brene BrownScary Close by Donald MillerYour Brain is Always Listening by Daniel G. AmenBraving The Wilderness by Brene BrownThe Power of the Other by Dr. Henry CloudThe Freeing Wheel by The Gottman Institute (printable resource for discovery of feelings and increasing emotional intelligence) -- https://www.gottman.com/blog/printable-feeling-wheel/Podcasts:The Anxiety Coachhttps://www.theanxietycoachespodcast.com/Like many hosts listed here, Gina Ryan knows anxiety because she's lived it. She suffered from anxiety for 20 years before finding what worked for her. Now she's sharing her knowledge of dealing with anxiety in her podcast. As a mindfulness coach and nutritionist, she shares lifestyle tips to help you deal with your anxiety and live a panic-free life.Calmer Youhttps://calmer-you.com/podcastDo Sunday nights, and the looming work week ahead of you, terrify you? Do you often second guess yourself, especially in your work? Do you struggle with having a good work/life balance? If so, then hypnotherapist Chloe Brotheridge wants to help. She designed her podcast to specifically tackle common work stresses and anxieties to help you feel more confident in yourself and take pride in your work.The Overwhlemed Brain:https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/Paul Colaianni is another behavioral and relationship coach who suffered from depression and anxiety after a long-term relationship breakup. He's pretty open about his relationship issues – he would later go on to date, marry, and divorce another woman sometime later. But his commitment to becoming a better person inspired him to start his podcast of healing and self-growth.Meditation Minishttps://www.meditationminis.com/Meditation Minis are short, guided audio meditations for anxiety, stress, and confidence. Hosted by hypnotherapist Chel Hamilton, this series can help you feel better fast.

In this episode, you will learn 3 key reminders for dealing with a toxic relationship & how I used them to improve my life. Featuring behavior & relationship expert, Paul Colaianni. Website: www.mytalkingdollars.com

Have you ever felt completely lost in your life? Like you didn't know what you were "supposed" to do, who you should be as a person, and what your true passion was? You can't see it, but I'm raising both hands at that! I spent my teens and twenties in a state of confusion about all of those things. And truth be told, the fog is still lifting, as I'm constantly getting to know myself better and learning what it truly means to trust my intuition. In today's episode I'm sharing the mic with Paul Colaianni - personal empowerment coach and host of The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast. Paul and I talk about introversion and finding your way in life. The topic comes by way of a listener email. In this case, a listener of Paul's podcast The Overwhelmed Brain reached out to him for advice. What you're hearing on today's show is me joining Paul on his podcast to answer his listener question. If you consider yourself an introvert, have felt lost in life, have never really felt like you know who you should be as a person, and feel like you're lacking direction, then this is an episode to tune into! Resources from this episode: Paul's podcast and website: https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/ My free tool for you, the Abundant Loving Life Quiz (formerly the Abundance Benchmark): https://www.matthewbivens.com/quiz/ If you want to get in touch with me to ask questions, give feedback, or inquire about my coaching offerings, shoot me an email at matthew@matthewbivens.com.

How do we help the people that we love who are in abusive relationships? It's a hard question that many of us have asked ourselves before. For Kenzie, she wants to help her mom, but she doesn't know how. On this episode of Help A Human Out, Ms. Danielle talks with author, speaker and podcast host Paul Colaianni about abuse and what we can do to be there for those we care about.Follow @hahopodcast on Instagram for more! Paul Colaianni:https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/IG: @theoverwhelmedbrainMs. Danielle: https://msdanielleferrentino.com/IG: @msdanielleferrentino Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/help-a-human-out.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/help-a-human-out.

How do we help the people that we love who are in abusive relationships? It’s a hard question that many of us have asked ourselves before. For Kenzie, she wants to help her mom, but she doesn’t know how. On this episode of Help A Human Out, Ms. Danielle talks with author, speaker and podcast host Paul Colaianni about abuse and what we can do to be there for those we care about. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/help-a-human-out. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In Episode #51, Dr. Jill dives into a very personal interview on “bad boyfriends” and discusses how to maintain healthy boundaries in relationships and recognize emotionally abusive patterns that may exist in your relationships (how to identify emotional abuse). Dr. Jill and Paul give empowering solutions to navigating these difficult situations with grace and insight.

Paul answers the following questions:1. Question: What are signs of emotional abuse? 
2. Question: Is it easy to recognize these signs of emotional abuse while you are in a relationship? 3. Question: How do you know when it's time to leave a relationship? 4. Question: Why do we fear being single? 5. Question: What are the components of a healthy relationship? 6. Question: What tips do you have for empowerment? Below are the links to Paul Colaianni's website and podcast: https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com and https://loveandabuse.comThank you Neutrin05's Longing for the podcast soundtrack

Paul brings his decade of experience to the DSD show to talk about the words and behaviors manipulative people typical use at the end of a relationship. Duane and Paul discuss how people find themselves stuck in toxic relationships without really knowing for sure. They then discuss the ways you communicate with your partner. Paul then discusses how important it is to learn ways to cope in toxic environments and how that can drive our own personal behavioral patterns. Paul then discussions the 5 top things manipulators say and do throughout relationships. He also provides examples of questions and comments manipulative people will use that are designed to make your doubt yourself. Finally Paul closes with his message of hope and healing on how you can take your life ultimately back! Participate in the show!During the show you can call in live at1 (424) 373-54831 (424) DSD-LIVEhttps://www.callinstudio.com/show/DSDLIVE (Web Interface - free dialing)You can also leave a voicemail through the DSD websiteTable of Contents00:00:00 - Start of show00:01:49 - Introduction of Paul Colaianni, The host of The Overwhelmed Brain and Love & Abuse Podcast00:06:38 - Discussion - People stuck wondering are they toxic?00:16:25 - Discussion - Communication is key with your partner00:22:06 - Discussion - When you take on the toxic behaviors00:26:45 - Discussion - Learning how to cope in toxic environments00:33:55 - Discussion - Things not going the way we expect or want00:37:59 - Question - They initiate the break and come back to break up again00:45:19 - Discussion - What appropriate communication looks like00:49:22 - Discussion - Victim blames themselves00:54:39 - Discussion - Top 5 things manipulators say/do00:59:21 - Discussion - Questions and comments designed to doubt yourself01:01:57 - Discussion - Paul’s final thoughts and take away message01:05:23 - End of show wrap-up

Episode SummaryI speak with Paul Colaianni, host of The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast, about personal development, fear, and getting punched in the face..Show Notes Pagejeffsanders.com/354.Go Premium!Exclusive bonus episodes, 100% ad-free, full back catalog, and more!Free 7-Day Trial of 5 AM Miracle Premium.Perks from Our SponsorsSee current deals from sponsors of The 5 AM Miracle.Learn More About The 5 AM MiracleThe 5 AM Miracle Podcast.Free Productivity Resources + Email Updates!Join The 5 AM Club!.The 5 AM Miracle BookAudiobook, Paperback, and Kindle.Connect on Social MediaLinkedIn • Facebook Group • Instagram.About Jeff SandersRead Jeff's Bio.Questions?Contact Jeff.© 5 AM Miracle Media, LLC.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Episode SummaryFOCUS is an acronym for Following One Course Until Success, and it has great potential for unwinding and de-stressing your overly-active brain.In this week’s episode of The 5 AM Miracle Podcast I speak with Paul Colaianni, host of The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast, about personal development, fear, addressing worst case scenarios, having important conversations, and getting punched in the face. Episode Show Notesjeffsanders.com/354 Learn More About The 5 AM MiracleThe 5 AM Miracle Podcast Free Productivity Resources + Email Updates!Join The 5 AM Club! The 5 AM Miracle BookAudiobook, Paperback, and Kindle Connect on Social MediaFacebook Group • Instagram • Twitter • LinkedIn • YouTube About Jeff SandersRead Jeff’s Bio © Jeff Sanders Productions, LLC

Episode Show Notes jeffsanders.com/354 . Learn More About the Show The 5 AM Miracle Podcast . Free Productivity Resources Join The 5 AM Club! . The 5 AM Miracle Book Audiobook, Paperback, and Kindle . Connect on Social Media Facebook Group • Instagram • Twitter • LinkedIn . Episode Summary FOCUS is an acronym for Following One Course Until Success, and it has great potential for unwinding and de-stressing your overly-active brain. In this week’s episode of The 5 AM Miracle Podcast I speak with Paul Colaianni, host of The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast, about personal development, fear, addressing worst case scenarios, having important conversations, and getting punched in the face. . Paul Colaianni Paul Colaianni is a best-selling author, personal empowerment coach, and host of the top-rated personal growth and development podcast called, The Overwhelmed Brain. Having gone through a dysfunctional upbringing, many failed relationships, and several life-changing events including a breakdown in the desert a thousand miles from home, Paul started a journey of healing and growth that led him to make the right decisions that lead to self-empowerment. This is what he wants to help you do too. As host of The Overwhelmed Brain podcast, Paul has helped hundreds of thousands of listeners heal emotional wounds, create healthier relationships, increase their emotional intelligence, and learn to honor their personal boundaries. If you’re analyzing your life but can’t figure out just what you need to do to become fulfilled and at peace, Paul will help you discover why you do the things you do and what you can do to reach higher levels of happiness and lower levels of stress and overwhelm. As a certified personal development coach currently residing in Atlanta, Georgia, Paul helps clients all over the world through his online coaching, books, podcast, and blog. Visit theoverwhelmedbrain.com for more of his teachings.

Best-selling author and Personal Empowerment Coach Paul Colaianni is the host of the top-rated personal growth and development podcast called The Overwhelmed Brain. Having gone through a dysfunctional upbringing, many failed relationships, and several life-changing events including a breakdown in the desert a thousand miles from home, Paul started a journey of healing and growth that led him to where he is today: teaching others how to make the right decisions that lead to self-empowerment. Favorite Success Quote “The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision” Key Points 1. Learn to Master the Art of Decisive Action  I want you to imagine that you are in an emergency situation. You are in the middle of a big city with your girlfriend when all of the sudden, you feel the ground start to shake and stand back in horror as 30 story buildings collapse all around you. What are you going to do? You are really only left with two options, take action and get to safety, or stay frozen where you are in fear. With the adrenaline coursing through your veins and your life on the line, I have little doubt that you would immediately grab your woman and pull her away from the carnage. However, whenever we are faced with situations that are not life or death, I often find that men simply sit back and atrophy, allowing their fear to lead to inaction. If you are familiar with Winston Churchill will remember his famous quote, “The best thing you can do is the right thing, the second best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” You need to remember in your everyday life that the absolute worst thing you can do is nothing. If you want to be healthy, the best thing you can do is to find the right program and follow it, the next best thing is to find a subpar program and follow it, the worst thing you can do is to not follow any program out of fear of failure. If you see a beautiful woman, the best thing you can do is to approach her, introduce yourself, and charm her socks off. The next best thing is that you approach her, introduce yourself, get rejected, and learn. The worst thin is that you can do nothing. No matter what the situation is, be decisive and take some action. Because at the end of the day, you can still achieve your goals with blind base hits, but you will never achieve anything if you allow indecisiveness to lead to inaction. 2. Break Down Your Fears Until You Figure Out the Truth  What are you scared of? No really? What keeps you up at night? What makes your skin crawl? What topic do you avoid at all costs? What thoughts slip into your head when no one else is watching? Is it failure? Loss of love? Loss of a loved one? Ridicule? Embarrassment? Now tell me… why is that so bad? This question is not posed to belittle your fears but rather to make your think. For example, let’s say that you are scared of quitting your job to start your own online business. Well, what are you scared of? That you will fail and you won’t have any money? Why is that scary? Because you won’t be able to eat and you will go homeless? Why is that scary? Because you are going to die? The more you dig into these fears, the more you realize that they are almost entirely unfounded. Even if you failed at your business, odds are you would find a way to make ends meet. If you didn’t then you would probably have friends or family who could help you. If you didn’t have even that, the odds of you dying from homelessness are pretty slim. You need to realize that the worst thing that can happen typically is not that bad, and the fears that are holding you back from success are almost always false. 3. Be Single Instead of Settling We all have a mental image of the kind of woman that we want in our life. And I am not just talking about what she looks like and how great the sex is either. I am referring to the kind of woman who makes us better, who we want to be with every day, who loves us and is loved in return. The kind of woman that gives you butterflies in your stomach every time you see her, who you could spend hours wrapped up in her eyes, who challenges you to be a better man, and helps you to see the good in yourself and others, even when you don’t want to. These kinds of women exist. So why is it that most of us are stuck in relationships that don’t even come close to resembling this? Why is it that most of us are with women who we merely tolerate? If you want to have truly satisfying relationships, then you need to realize that you cannot settle. You need to know what you want in a woman, what is non-negotiable for you, and then do not rest until you find the woman you are looking for. Because quite frankly, a life spent “alone” is better than a life spent in relationships with someone who does nothing but bring you down.

Guest expert, successful podcaster Paul Colaianni, reveals a short, simple and powerful tip (a common mistake you should avoid) to lock in new listeners to your show.

TOPIC: SYMPTOMS OF VICTIM MENTALITY IN RELATIONSHIPS FEELING LIKE A VICTIM IN RELATIONSHIP IS AN AWFUL FEELING In relationship, we want and need to feel safe, loved, and valued. When difficult things happen, it can be extremely painful. Sometimes, it is a condition or circumstance that is challenging (like a health issue, family crisis, natural disaster, etc). But when our partner behaves badly or unskillful, it can be heartbreaking. When awful things happen, it is natural to feel the hardship, pain, and injury, and it is incredible important to attend your experience. RESOURCES If you are experiencing immediate hardship and crisis, it might be helpful to check out some of the previous podcast episodes: How to handle Grief and loss in relationship – Part One How to handle Grief and loss in relationship – Part Two How to Repair a Breach of Trust in Relationship How to Deal with the Effects of Trauma in Relationship with Dr. Janina Fisher How to Get Relational Support When Dealing with Illness & Chronic Pain with Dr. Jackie Black How to Identify Manipulative & Emotionally Abusive Relationships with Paul Colaianni In the podcasts about how we deal with pain, I addressed the fact that the way in which we handle pain contributes to greater levels of suffering (i.e. when we resist pain, anticipate, ruminate, and protest against pain). THE DRAMA TRIANGLE In this episode, I am going to address how we unknowingly get stuck in a destructive dynamic – The Drama Triangle. The drama triangle is a social model of human interaction that can occur between people in conflict, which was developed by Stephen Karpman, M.D. This common relationship dynamic perpetuates pain and suffering, and keeps us stuck in endless cycles of difficulty. The problematic interaction and can occur in any type of relationship, where there is struggle (i.e. spouse, partner, family member, friend, colleague, etc). Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear stories, explanations, and examples. Concepts for today’s episode are referenced from Connected Couple and The Power of Ted, by David Emerald. When exploring The Drama Triangle, you may notice you can occupy all positions at various point. Or you may notice a stronger tendency to take a particular role. THE VICTIM Helpless and hopeless Collapsed and powerless Doesn’t advocate for self Poor me “Victims may be defensive, submissive, over-accommodating to others, passive-aggressive in conflict, dependent on others for self-worth, overly sensitive, even manipulative. They’re often angry, resentful, and envious, feeling unworthy or ashamed about their circumstances.” By David Emerald, The Power of TED “Death of a dream: All victims have experience a loss – a thwarted desire or aspiration – even if they’re not aware of it.” By David Emerald, The Power of TED THE VILLAIN OR PERSECUTOR Often times a person, but sometimes it is a circumstance or condition. Aggressive, domineering, and judgmental. Uses blame, criticism, and or oppression. Persecutors were almost always former victims. “I will never be the victim again.” Fear of loss of control THE HERO OR THE RESCUER Overly helpful and overextends (usually with good intentions) Feels responsible for others Poor you Intrapersonally, we might engage in behaviors that rescue ourselves from painful feelings (i.e. substance use, alcohol, sugar, computer gaming, watching tv, shopping, overeating, etc.) Fear of loss of purpose When couples seek support in the way of coaching or therapy, often times they are looking for the helping professional to validate their experience. However, it is often done through the way of the victim position. “Arguments are caused by two people racing to occupy the victim position (why are you doing this to me?) and then tries to get person B to agree with that assessment. In other words, person B has to agree that he or she is the persecutor. Therein lies the problem. It’s almost impossible to get the other guys to agree that it’s his fault.” By Gay Hendricks in The Big Leap In the next episode, I will discuss how to shift out of The Drama Triangle. MENTIONED: ERP 135: How to handle Grief and loss in relationship – Part One (podcast) ERP 136: How to handle Grief and loss in relationship – Part Two (podcast) ERP 153: How to Repair a Breach of Trust in Relationship (podcast) ERP 148: How to Deal with the Effects of Trauma in Relationship with Dr. Janina Fisher (podcast) ERP 154: How to Get Relational Support When Dealing with Illness & Chronic Pain with Dr. Jackie Black (podcast) ERP 113: How to Identify Manipulative & Emotionally Abusive Relationships with Paul Colaianni (podcast) ERP 140: How Pain and Suffering Increase & What to Do about It (podcast) ERP 141: How To Decrease Relationship Pain and Suffering (podcast) POWER OF TED* (*THE EMPOWERMENT DYNAMIC) (book) The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level (book) Connected Couple (program) Wild Quest (website) Photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash TRANSCRIPT: Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please reach out to me. Here is my contact information. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Identifying the symptoms of victim mentality in relationships help couples improve and understand each other to connect rather that neglect the feelings of each other. I would really appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you!  If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.      

Toxicity Today's featured guest is Paul Colaianni. The topic is "Toxicity." Let the show begin. Guest Bio Paul Colaianni (KO-LEE-AH-NEE) is a personal empowerment coach and wrote the book The Overwhelmed Brain: Personal Growth for Critical Thinkers. He is also the host of The Overwhelmed Brain podcast, a show that helps you increase your emotional intelligence, strengthen your self-worth and self-esteem, build healthy relationships. He currently resides in Atlanta, GA

Have you ever felt completely lost in your life? Like you didn't know what you were "supposed" to do, who you should be as a person, and what your true passion was? Geeze, I sure have! I spent years in a state of confusion about all of those things. And truth be told, the fog is still lifting. In today's episode I'm sharing the mic with Paul Colaianni - personal empowerment coach and host of The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast - to talk about introversion and finding your way in life.

Simple Self Mastery is a self-help podcast dedicated to giving you the best in health, wealth, love, happiness, and a little piece of mind...5 days a week! Host Mike Miller chats with inspiring experts such as John Lee Dumas & Maddy Moon to guide you on your own personal quest to mastering and cultivating your best self.

When you discover that your partner has been holding onto a lie, how does that impact your relationship?  Today I have a special episode for you! I'm bringing you my entire conversation with Paul Colaianni where we talk about lies in relationships, from The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast, .

Trust is essential to the success of a happy, loving, lasting relationship. Yet, many of us are confused about how to develop trust in a relationship. In episode 118, I offered you 2 of the 5 tips in how to build trust with your partner. I encourage you to check it out if you missed it. In episode 119, I discussed Brené Brown’s talk on The Anatomy of Trust, where she offers important components of trust, which is based on her research and findings. Brené Brown gives us an acronym to work with: B.R.A.V.I.N.G. To recap, B is for boundaries, R is for reliability, A is for accountability. V is for the vault. I is for integrity. N is for non-judgment. G is for generosity. Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear stories, explanations, and examples. TIPS TO DEVELOPING TRUST IN RELATIONSHIP Let’s continue to use the Trust Fall exercise as an analogy as we look at how to develop a solid foundation for trust in relationship. 3. Letting go. The act of falling back requires taking a risk and being vulnerable. This is especially true when we do not know someone that well or do not have previous trusting experience to rely on. Before letting go, it is important to have invested in step one, “clarifying agreements,” and step two, “creating safety.” These steps focus on communication, how to work together, and how to set-up the interaction well. It doesn’t provide a guarantee, but it can eliminate a lot confusion and misunderstandings. Letting go involves giving up the attempts to control (i.e. not trying to catch yourself). What comes up for you when you have a choice to “fall back”? Do you notice any level of fear and anxiety? This is normal, and what do you do with the fear and anxiety in relationship? Do you: Occupy the space through talking, entertaining, and telling stories and not giving people a chance to respond or be there for you. Try to hide or conceal your authentic feelings by pretending everything is great and wonderful all the time. Distract by bringing attention to others through questions, criticism, or attacks. Denying any of your needs, wants, or desires, by being extra self-reliant and self-sufficient. “I don’t need anyone.” “It’s okay. I am okay.” With previous trauma or old pain, it can be very difficult to let go. “You don’t have to rely on unreliable people anymore.” (story) A trust fall does not work if someone doesn’t want to fall or tries to control the process. They don’t get to experience and the benefit of being caught. “You caught me.” There is a certain intimacy and closeness that comes from being caught by someone as well as catching someone who is relying on you. If we never let go, we never allow someone to catch-us. Letting go requires a willingness to be vulnerable. If you missed the series about vulnerability. You can check out the first episode here. 4. Allowing for Time & Practice. Work out the kinks in your interactions. Take the time to evaluate what is working well and what is not well. Work towards learning and understanding each other better (i.e. intentions, values, meanings, and approaches). Accept what your partner shares with you about their experience and reality. This is very challenging when we think we know what is going on. When one partner gets to their vulnerable truth, it can be hard for their partner to believe them and let down their guard. This is most difficult after long periods of cyclical arguments…almost as if they have been adversaries on this issue for so long they don’t know how to calibrate the shift. Offer forgiveness, if you can. Try to acknowledge how they were doing the best they could even if it was not what you wanted. Prioritize the value of trust. Some people worry that they are being too picky, controlling or uptight. As Brené Brown talked about in her The Anatomy of Trust talk, there are important qualities to the health and trust in relationships. It can be crazy making to question whether or not you have trust issues or if your partner is not trustworthy. To evaluate the level of trust within you and your partner’s interactions, consider taking an honest look at step one and step two in episode 118, as well as the components of trust in episode 119. If you and your partner’s interactions are trusting and trustworthy, then consider looking at your ability to be vulnerable and what is making that difficult for you. 5. Believing in your worthiness: Staying in a relationship with someone who is untrustworthy and is not willing to engage in a constructive process together can lead to a toxic dynamic. This can be especially problematic when one doubts their lovability and if they will ever find someone else. “One of the biggest casualties with heartbreak and disappointment and failure and our struggle is not just a loss of trust with other people but the loss of self trust. When something hard happens in our lives the first thing we say is I will not trust myself. I was so stupid. I was so naive.” by Brené Brown You can develop self-trust by looking at how you show-up for yourself, how you take care of yourself, and how you advocate for yourself. Consider using Brené Brown’s B.R.A.V.I.N.G. to look at your level of trust with yourself. “Did I honor my own boundaries? Was I reliable, can I count on myself? Did I hold myself accountable? Was I really protective of my stories? Did I stay in my integrity? Was I judgmental towards myself? Did I give myself the benefit of the doubt, was A generous towards myself? by Brené Brown You can’t have a genuine relationship without bringing yourself to the relationship. You can’t enter into a good exchange, if you don’t show up. “I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves but say I love you.” by Maya Angelou You deserve to be treated with love. You are worthy. The possibility of your creating a trusting relationship does exist. You are not doing anyone any favors by engaging in untrustworthy behaviors. PRACTICE STEP: Is there a way you can improve one aspect of trust in your relationship? Maybe you can clarify your agreements, address a specific area of trust, or let yourself fall back into your partners arms. Try focusing on one aspect to develop more trust in your relationship. MENTIONED: ERP 118: How to build trust with your partner (podcast) ERP 119: How To Build Trust With Your Partner – Part Two (podcast) Brené Brown’s The Anatomy of Trust (video of her talk) ERP 114: How To Develop The Strength Of Vulnerability (podcast) ERP 115: How to develop the strength of vulnerability – Part Two(podcast) ERP 112: What Makes Being Vulnerable So Hard? (podcast) ERP 113: How to Identify Manipulative & Emotionally Abusive Relationships with Paul Colaianni (podcast) TRANSCRIPT: Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: ERP 120: How To Build Trust With Your Partner – Part Three [Transcript] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please reach out to me. Here is my contact information. I would really appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you!  If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or doing relationship coaching work with me.

GUEST PAUL COLAIANNI: Paul Colaianni is host of The Overwhelmed Brain podcast and author of the book: The Overwhelmed Brain: Personal Growth for Critical Thinkers. He helps people all over the world become empowered so that they can make decisions that are right for them. He currently lives in Atlanta, Georgia. In this episode, Paul talks with us about the damage of manipulation and emotionally abusive relationships. He offers signs and symptoms to help identify a toxic relationship. He also gives us two important keys in helping transform emotional abusive relationships. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear more explanations, stories and examples.) IMPORTANT POINTS FROM PAUL COLAIANNI: Toxic relationship are when you feel bad more often than not. “One of the main functions of an emotional manipulator is to get what they want, the way they want it by controlling people in the environment.” Paul Colaianni Components of Emotionally Abuse Relationship: Your partner is in control. You often feel like you are tagging along. Your partner makes you feel bad about yourself, and you mistrust yourself. You believe your partner is the only person that you can trust. You believe your partner is the only person that will show you love, and there is no one else that will love you. Manipulators usually have a really old fear that is driving their manipulative behavior. SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF MANIPULATION AND EMOTIONAL ABUSIVE IN RELATIONSHIPS, BY PAUL COLAIANNI: Each item alone does not indicate a toxic or abusive relationship. Emotional abuse tends to happen over a period of time. To get a more comprehensive assessment, check out the MEAN worksheet by Paul Colaianni. Here are a just few items that Paul shared with us: “During and after a conversation with your partner, you can often feel (embarrassed, ashamed, guilty, anxious, angry, uneasy, and especially feeling like you are blamed or responsible for what is wrong in the relationship). Before you met your partner, you felt pretty good about yourself. Everything in the relationship seems so complex. You allow your boundaries or your values to be violated. You feel bad honoring your boundaries. You are always trying to find ways to make your partner happy, even at the cost of your own happiness. You apologize a lot. Your partner talks and talks and talks and talks. You don’t know where your passion for life is. You dread losing the relationship, even though you are mostly unhappy. You feel like you are going crazy. You feel guilty almost all the time. You believe you are not worthy or lovable.” TWO KEYS TO CREATE CHANGE: If you are the victim: Start trusting yourself and make a decision about what you are going to do about your situation. Trust your decision. If you are the manipulator: Put your focus on yourself. Take absolute accountability for your experience. MENTIONED: The Overwhelmed Brain (Paul Colaianni’s website) Manipulation and Emotional Abuse Worksheet (link to Paul Colaianni’s MEAN Worksheet) Are You With a Manipulative Person? – Indecision and Regret (The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast Episode) Are You Being Manipulated? (The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast Episode) Identifying Your Sense of Self – Overcoming the Guilt of Leaving the Emotional Abuser – Diminishing Emotional Triggers (The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast Episode) Transforming the Emotionally Abusive Relationship (The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast Episode) The Meaning of Communication – Guilt by Manipulation – Obsessing Over the Ex (The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast Episode) The Manipulative Man: Identify His Behavior, Counter the Abuse, Regain Control, by Dorothy McCoy (book) The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition: How to recognize it and how to respond, by Patricia Evans (book) TRANSCRIPT: Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: ERP 113: How To Identify Manipulative & Emotionally Abusive Relationships with Paul Colaianni [Transcript] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you!  If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or doing relationship coaching work with me.

How Old Is Your Soul with Alyssa Malehorn Alyssa is a spiritual teacher, soul guide, ­psychic medium and divine transmitter of healing energies for the ­purpose of illuminating and demystifying the path to enlightenment. She is a catalyst for transformational healing, wisdom, and joy for individuals and groups worldwide. The creator of the life-changing, online Spirit Within: Spiritual Awakening Program, she leads the divinely inspired, best-­selling programs Discover Your Divine Team; Awakening & Ascension; Channeled Light Healing; In The Light, and more. http://alyssamalehorn.comThe Overwhelmed Brain with Paul Colaianni Best selling author and Personal Empowerment Coach Paul Colaianni is the host of the top-rated personal growth and development podcast called The Overwhelmed Brain. Having gone through a dysfunctional upbringing, many failed relationships, and several life-changing events including a breakdown in the desert a thousand miles from home, Paul started a journey of healing and growth that led him to where he is today: teaching others how to make the right decisions that lead to self-empowerment. http://theoverwhelmedbrain.com

This episode is a rebroadcast of a powerful conversation I had with Paul Colaianni -- host of The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast and author of "The Overwhelmed Brain: Personal Growth For Critical Thinkers". Paul Colaianni has not always led an authentic life. Experiences as a child taught him that authenticity and self expression were detrimental to his health and the health of those around him, so he bottled them up. The result was a life ripe with unsteady relationships, frustration, and disillusionment. It wasn’t until facing the end of another relationship, that Paul reached an emotional, mental and spiritual breaking point, which sent him on a 10 year journey to study and self examine. Today, Paul is a self empowerment coach who uses his life experiences and the insights he’s picked up along the way, to coach others through their challenges and help them reach their personal goals. In this episode, Paul shares what he’s learned through a life of exploring what living authentically means to him, and he gets personal with me and he talks about his experience of growing up in an alcoholic home, destroying relationships with judgement and fear, and going through life not being his true authentic self. Notes From This Episode: Paul’s Website: TheOverwhelmedBrain.com Paul’s Podcast: The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast Stop Self-Sabotage! Workbook

Podcast 608: The Overwhelmed Brain with Paul Colaianni by Greg Voisen

Best-selling author and Personal Empowerment Coach Paul Colaianni is the host of the top-rated personal growth and development podcast called The Overwhelmed Brain. Having gone through a dysfunctional upbringing, many failed relationships, and several life-changing events including a breakdown in the desert a thousand miles from home, Paul started a journey of healing and growth that led him to where he is today: teaching others how to make the right decisions that lead to self-empowerment.

In this episode, Amber Hurdle helps listeners create values for their life and business through her interview with personal development coach and host of the Overwhelmed Brain Podcast, Paul Colaianni.

Fears, Anxiety and Broken Relationships – A sneak peak into a man emotions with Paul Colaianni (Part 2 of 2)

TPW23: Fears, Anxiety and Broken Relationships - A sneak peak into a man emotions with Paul Colaianni (Part 1 of 2) Growing up with an alcoholic step-father or parent could mess up your life in so many ways leaving you with a sense of wonder why bad things happen to you one after another and when you're going get a break.   Paul Colaianni was growing up in such a broken family. His relationships with women were like a train station where they came into his life then left him with broken heart, fears and anxiety. He shares the #1 reason why he failed in his relationships and a whole lot more.    But Most importantly what you can learn from his mistakes.     This is Episode 23 part one of two. Part 2 of the conversation to be continued next week. 

Paul Colaianni is a brave, open and honest personal coach and podcaster who is committed to helping others lead better lives. He's the creator of The Overwhelmed Brain (TOB) podcast and blog which receives thousands of downloads and views every day. Paul had always been a dedicated 9-to-5'er until 2013, when as an IT sub-contractor he became fed up with his employer's broken promises of hiring him on full-time. At the same time, his relationship with his wife was on the rocks. With a career not on track and a wife about to leave him, Paul came to the conclusion that, “The only way that I can have confidence in anything in life is if I do it myself.” This realization put him on a crash course into entrepreneurship, something he knew nothing about at the time. Paul was unsure of what subject to tackle, until he gained some valuable insight from a professional podcaster who said that if you're going to be a podcaster, talk about the things you could talk about for hours on end without getting bored. Great insight! Paul had always enjoyed giving advice to his friends and colleagues, advice which was often very helpful and appreciated. He figured he could help more than one person at a time, and coupled with his love of radio and podcasting, he created TOB. ‘The Overwhelmed Brain' is a term used for something we all deal with in this day and age. Paul is now helping thousands of people every day through his podcast and blog, where he gives away everything he knows, for free. Paul's coaching differs from many other life coaches out there in that he targets people like him who feel that affirmations and positive thinking don't always work. We use affirmations to change our inner dialogue and the goal is to consciously change our programming. But, one of the problems with affirmations is that sometimes we can feel like frauds when we're saying them to ourselves. “I'm a super intelligent person” really doesn't work for someone who feels stupid. A better affirmation would be, “I feel stupid, but I'm trying to get smarter and educate myself.” When you're looking to hire a coach of your own, Paul recommends two points of advice: Choose a coach that doesn't intimidate you, one that allows you to express yourself, to be yourself and that you connect with. Follow through and take action. Act on the changes they recommend no matter the uncomfortable feelings their advice triggers. The resistance you feel to these triggers are a sign that the coach is leading you in the right direction. As a coach, Paul doesn't really set out any guidelines or boundaries for his students. This allows the student to express themselves, and it gives him the freedom to catch points of interest as they speak, points that can lead to breakthroughs in the problems the student is facing. To Paul, being bold is forging ahead without fear of the consequences. When you fear the consequences, you make decisions based on that fear. Eliminating the fear allows you to move forward. I really enjoyed my time today with Paul and I know you'll learn much from our insightful discussion.   SOME QUESTIONS I ASK: How did Paul come up with The Overwhelmed Brain? What's an example of NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) that our listeners can takeaway and apply in their own lives? Are there any books or courses that he'd recommend for NLP? What tips or advice would Paul give to anyone looking to hire a coach? How did he market his podcast to get such tremendous growth?   IN THIS EPISODE, YOU WILL LEARN: What NLP is and how Paul uses it with coaching clients. How his methods of coaching differs from others based on the idea of “put away your crystals and throw your affirmations in the junk drawer and believe it's okay to not think positively all the time.” The tips he gives his audience that are different than the positive thinking and affirmations route. How sensory perceptions are tied to memories and emotions Some transformations that Paul has affected through his teachings and podcast Plus much more…   DON'T STOP HERE… The Overwhelmed Brain: Website | iTunes | Amazon   ADDITIONAL RESOURCES: Bennett Stellar University: Website Smart Passive Income with Pat Flynn: Website Milton H. Erickson: Amazon  

Paul Colaianni helps you discover why you do the things you do, and what you can do to reach higher levels of happiness and lower levels of stress and overwhelm. His ultimate goal is to help you become empowered so that you can create the life you want and make decisions that are right for you. This is done through the podcast, articles, books, worksheets and one-on-one coaching. Today on The Game Changer Podcast, I speak with Paul Colaianni about this topic. He is the host of the podcast and website, The Overwhelmed Brain, and has certainly had his share of relationship setbacks. In this conversation, we talk about the ending of a heart breaking relationship, and not realizing we are taking that depression into the next one. You see when someone is on the outside trying to look into the window of our soul, if we haven't done the necessary cleaning, it is impossible for them to see into who we really are. And every time someone says, “I will be happy when I find the right person,” what we are really saying is, “I want to find someone who can clean the inside of my window.” And the truth is, that work can ONLY be done by us. Join us for a conversation about how to really deal with our emotions and feelings so that we can have the relationship we deserve… the one with ourselves. How to find Paul: www.theoverwhelmedbrain.com Here you can find the podcast, ebooks, and coaching. Best advice: Whatever fear of consequences you have, get over them. It's not about what might happen if you do something, it's what might happen if you don't do something. Honor your emotional core. The one thing you believe to be true: I will never know everything. For the blog on this interview go to: www.innernorthstar.com

Paul Colaianni helps you discover why you do the things you do, and what you can do to reach higher levels of happiness and lower levels of stress and overwhelm. His ultimate goal is to help you become empowered so that you can create the life you want and make decisions that are right for you. This is done through the podcast, articles, books, worksheets and one-on-one coaching. Today on The Game Changer Podcast, I speak with Paul Colaianni about this topic.  He is the host of the podcast and website, The Overwhelmed Brain, and has certainly had his share of relationship setbacks.  In this conversation, we talk about the ending of a heart breaking relationship, and not realizing we are taking that depression into the next one.  You see when someone is on the outside trying to look into the window of our soul, if we haven't done the necessary cleaning, it is impossible for them to see into who we really are.  And every time someone says, “I will be happy when I find the right person,” what we are really saying is, “I want to find someone who can clean the inside of my window.”  And the truth is, that work can ONLY be done by us.  Join us for a conversation about how to really deal with our emotions and feelings so that we can have the relationship we deserve… the one with ourselves. How to find Paul: http://www.theoverwhelmedbrain.com (www.theoverwhelmedbrain.com)   Here you can find the podcast, ebooks, and coaching. Best advice: Whatever fear of consequences you have, get over them.  It’s not about what might happen if you do something, it’s what might happen if you don’t do something. Honor your emotional core. The one thing you believe to be true: I will never know everything. For the blog on this interview go to: http://www.innernorthstar.com (www.innernorthstar.com)     Support this podcast

Paul Colaianni has not always led an authentic life. Experiences as a child taught him that authenticity and self expression were detrimental to his health and the health of those around him, so he bottled them up. The result was a life ripe with unsteady relationships, frustration, and disillusionment. It wasn’t until facing the end of another relationship, that Paul reached an emotional, mental and spiritual breaking point, which sent him on a 10 year journey to study and self examine. Today, Paul is a self empowerment coach who uses his life experiences and the insights he’s picked up along the way, to coach others through their challenges and help them reach their personal goals. In this episode, Paul shares what he’s learned through a life of exploring what living authentically means to him, and he gets personal with me and he talks about his experience of growing up in an alcoholic home, destroying relationships with judgement and fear, and going through life not being his true authentic self.

Do you still repress your anger? Do you know and honor your boundaries? Paul Colianni shares what you can do today to start living a more empowered life tomorrow. Growing up with an abusive-alcoholic father How tapping into repressed anger can empower you Dealing with pet loss Do you know and honor your boundaries? Choices You Can Make Today For a Better Tomorrow Book Titles: Clear The Path To Happiness How To Deal With Irrational People For more info on this episode: http://relaunchshow.com/442 Podcast tips: http://relaunchshow.com/PodcastTips 972-885-8384

Have you ever been in a relationship that failed and been left with feelings of hurt, anger, frustration or wondered Why? I know I sure have, and so has Paul Colaianni. We talk about subconscious behaviors that can sabotage our relationships. Find out how you can improve the quality of your relationships with Personal Development Coach Paul Colaianni. In this episode, he shares his own personal failures and how he used them to his advantage by asking this question; "If I was the problem in this relationship? What could it be?" Find Paul at http://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/ https://twitter.com/paulcolabrain http://everydayisasecondchance.com/paulcolaiannni/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/lvmountaintops/message

It took Paul Colaianni losing what he loved many times over to realize what was causing his issues so he could begin to correct them and share his findings with the world! Connect with  Paul Colaianni! Twitter: http://twitter.com/paulcolabrain Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theoverwhelmedbrain Google+: https://plus.google.com/+PaulColaianni/posts iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/overwhelmed-brain-paul-colaianni/id743537890?mt=2&uo=4 Website: http://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/ Paul Colaianni and I met through Facebook groups for podcasters and when we got started talking I knew I had to have him on Dreamers Podcast. He has gone through a lot in his life. Thankfully for him and the rest of the world Paul has opened up to let us know how he has dealt and grown as a person from his days of a child in an alcoholic household. This is the longest episode of Dreamers Podcast ever and it is well worth it! The knowledge packed in this episode is very eye opening for anyone who hasn't come to turns with the frightened child in them. Paul Colaianni and I talk about the differences between introverts and extroverts as well as how to deal with people talk but never listen in a conversation. I really hope you enjoy this episode, I know I had a ton of fun having Paul Colaianni on as a guest and look forward to having him join me again! More About Paul Colaianni Back in 2005, I went through a breakup of a 13 year relationship. It was quite a shock to my system. One night she told me she no longer loved me. The next day, she moved out. And shortly afterwards, I fell into a depression. I got hit pretty hard. I didn't realize how much I took being in a relationship for granted. I was so comfortable (and naive), I didn't see any of the warning signs. The first few months of my depression, I was just trying to stay afloat. I didn't really have my own identity without her in my life. So I wandered around awhile. I kept working, but it was always dark and lonely inside my head. I thought the best thing to do would be to find someone else with which to share my life. So one day, I joined eHarmony. After all, I love being in love… so maybe this was a good way to meet the woman of my dreams. Well, I met someone and we hit it off right away. She lived 3000 miles away, so I had no clue how it was going to work out. But, after we met in person, we knew we had to be together (none of this long-distance relationship stuff). So a few months later, I moved to California to be with her. Well, after living together a while, we realized there was this one big problem: I was still depressed! And it was hitting me pretty hard, which made her think she might be better off without me. She told me she wanted to leave. That was what it took to break me completely. Suddenly, everything I hated about my life came out in tears. I was having a huge breakdown. However, something shifted in me that night. All the crying and talking helped me release so much, that I felt quite peaceful afterwards. It wasn't over, by any means, as I was still depressed. But I realized that all that expressing about what was truly on my mind, made a huge impact on the both the thoughts in my head, and my emotional well-being. So I started exploring personal growth, psychology, and communication. I learned, and became certified in, brain sciences such as hypnosis and neuro-linguistics. I learned meditation techniques on how to clear my mind, and be present. And, as I was healing myself, I learned how to communicate with others in such a way that they would also transform. Unfortunately, my marriage did not survive my personal growth journey. By the time I worked through many of my issues, it was too late. She left. The hardest part about the end of my marriage was that we had separated to work on ourselves to be better people for each other when we got back together. And as my issues were disappearing,

Living in fear is a pattern that was taught to us very early on in our lives.  The reason why we live out our childhood in our adulthood is because that is what was programmed into us.  In part two of this couples coaching session with my fiancee Daria and Paul Colaianni of the Overwhelmed Brain Podcast, you will see me trying to control Daria and my work environment through fear.  Unfortunately, what I try to control, only ends up controlling me by living in constant fear.  You will want to also listen to next week's session as it will become extremely clear as to where most of our relationship issues come from and how it is related to our childhood. Follow Michael at: Twitter Facebook healfromthegroundup.com    

This is Part 2 of a couples coaching session I had with my fiancée and Paul Colaianni of The Overhwhelmed Brain Podcast.   The biggest things I'm taking away from these couples sessions is that the issues that come up in my relationship has a lot less to do with the other person and mostly what's going within each one of us.  I'm realizing my anger towards my fiancée is really about the anger towards myself.  I have to forewarn you though the arguments get pretty headed in this second half of the session.   This session made a tremendous impact on me and I started attracting clients in the same predicament I was in because I became a magnet for those needing to learn the same lesson.  I took all the powerful things I've learned from this session and made it into a monologue for the next episode.  So you will want to stay tuned for that! www.healfromthegroundup.com

This is a couples coaching session with my fiancée and Paul Colaianni of the Overwhelmed Brain Podcast.  The previous couples session we did (episode 28) you saw the anger my fiancee had towards me which was really her suppressed anger towards her mother.  The tables have turned and you will now see my suppressed anger come up in the relationship and get directed at my fiancee.  Although I was not conscious of the root of my anger, it was secretly controlling my life and being projected at fiancée as if she was the cause of my anger.  This is a great example of how relationships are truly the fertile ground to heal your past wounds.  This couples coaching session was split into two parts so you will want to listen to part two as well.  

We may be deeply in love with our romantic partners but the relationship still serves as a vehicle to heal our inner most wounds. Within the relationship triggers are naturally manifested for us to bring our wounds to the surface so we can begin to see them and heal them.  What this means is that despite all the nuisances, problems and arguments that may come up in a relationship, they are actually opportunities to heal our deepest wounds that we may be completely unaware of. http://healfromthegroundup.com/couples-coaching-with-michael-and-his-fiancee/ Learn more about Paul Colaianni at http://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/

Do you hate the feeling that anxiety gives you?  I know that you would do almost anything to get rid of that awful and painful feeling.  This is what we all do in our response to anxiety.  We try to lessen them and coax ourselves through our anxiety.   Listen to this powerful coaching session where Paul Colaianni from The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast transforms my entire relationship to my fears and anxiety.  Share your comments to this episode at: http://healfromthegroundup.com/feeding-your-anxiety-with-resistance/

Navid Moazzez from http://navidmoazzez.com joined Paul Colaianni (http://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/) & I on Starve the Doubts to discuss personal branding & virtual summits! Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=CQWQVRBGQCK7E&source=url)

What I offer here on Heal From the Ground Up truly comes from an intimate journey of mine.  It's a journey and story that I have been witholding from you all because to be honest I wasn't honoring my own story and the true value I had to offer.  I have created a platform for so many coaches but I forgot to use my platform to tell my own story.  And this podcast is about telling you that story so you can see how Heal From the Ground Up is intimately tied to my life's lessons.   The interesting thing is that today's podcast is my first monologue.  And it was completely unscripted.  This is something that up until recently, I thought I was completely incapable of.  But based off the life changing conversation with my friend Paul Colaianni from the Overwhelmed Brain podcast in episode 14, I learned I was previously mistakenly trying to attain value, worth and greatness through my visions in life.  What I know now is that I no longer need to do that because that greatness is arleady within myself and can never be taken away.  This gives me the freedom to relax, play and live life in the moment.   If you have been following my podcast, I believe in this monologue you will witness my blossoming transformation.  The direction of my podcast and my life is going to go to another level that I could not have imagined before.  I now can enjoy the ride and I invite you to join me.  You are not going to regret it.   Warmly,  Michael michael@healfromthegroundup.com www.healfromthegroundup.com 

Who are you at your core?  Who are you without your goals, dreams and to-do list?  Because who you are at the core does not change based on how well you complete your goals and dreams.  It is your intrinsic worth that is untouchable.  It is the indestructible beauty that you were born with.  This is the biggest lesson Ilearned in this conversation with my friend Paul Colaianni from the Overwhelmed Brain podcast.  This conversation was coincidentally recorded and what originally was a conversation about podcasting became a coaching session about my self-limiting beliefs that have me tense up when I hit the record button.  I had this fear of making mistakes because I felt my sense of worthiness was attached to the success of my goals, dreams and visions.  What my friend Paul was able to uncover was my intrinsic worth which is the greatest value I have to offer to others and to myself.  Listen to this podcast as this conversation was life changing for me and I know it will be life changing for you as well.   Vist our site at:  www.healfromthegroundup.com  For more information on Paul Coaianni and his podcast The Overwhelmed Brain podcast go to:   http://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/

Paul Colaianni is the Founder & Host of The Overwhelmed Brain blog and podcast is a personal growth portal designed for critical thinkers.  As Paul puts it: “put away your crystals, throw your affirmations in the junk drawer, and start believing it’s OK not to think positively all the time.” [saf feature=”itunes” cta=”Subscribe & Listen in iTunes”] Paul believes life is an ever-changing journey filled with ... Read More

Do you want to stand out in noisy crowd?  Are you looking for ways to connect with influencers in your industry?  Do you feel like you’re working hard, but just not getting any momentum with your online business?  In this podcast episode I wanted to share with you the value of “giving without want” and how that mentality can really open new opportunities for you.  I was sitting at Starbucks this morning drinking a Vanilla Macchiato (MMMMmmm Coffeee) and reflecting on some really exciting opportunities that have opened up for my business.  At that moment I was thinking back to figure out where these business opportunities originated from.  I came to the conclusion, that all of them came from a time when I was offering value to someone and asking for nothing in return.  It then dawned on me that I’m sure that other online entrepreneurs who are achieving results online may have similar stories.  I wanted to share their stories with you in this compilation episode. Episode Featured Guests: Doc Kennedy, Navid Moazzez, Jeremy Montoya, Celest Horton, Paul Colaianni In This Podcast Episode You Will Learn: How giving free webinars can help leverage you as an expert and main resource How offering free services can lead you to more paid gigs How sharing your talents can help you build long-lasting quality relationships How being genuinely helpful can have people rushing to support your business How to get connected with influencers in your industry the right way How to get noticed in a busy world by offering massive value in a genuine way Learn the best strategies to getting your content shared around social media How to standout in a noisy crowd and get people to listen to you The correct way to build business relationships that lead to joint ventures Links and Resources Mentioned in the Show: theDreamWarriors.net - Doc Kennedy’s Website Navid.me - Navid Moazzez’s Website FinalClockout.com - Jeremy Montoya’s Website HowtoPayforCollegeHQ.com – Celest Horton’s Website TheOverwhelmedBrain.com  – Paul Colaianni’s Website Did You Enjoy the Show?  Let Us Know on Twitter! If you enjoyed this podcast episode please let us know by sharing these tweetable quotes: “It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving” – Mother Teresa “No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of others” – Charles Dickens “I always wanna makes sure it’s friendship first, business second” – Doc Kennedy “Seek out ways to provide value in another field” – Navid Moazzez “You can get anything you want in life if you just help enough other people get what they want” – Zig Ziglar “We try to solve their biggest pain point right off the top” – Jeremy Montoya “You get so much from giving for sure, the return is always ten-fold” – Celest Horton “There is so much value in giving that you don’t even know that it’s coming back to you, until it comes back” – Paul Colaianni Don’t Miss an Episode.  Subscribe to One of the Links Below: Click Here to Subscribe via iTunes Click Here to Subscribe via Stitcher Click Here to Follow via Soundcloud Thank you for Listening to the Podcast! If you’ve found value in this episode of the Marketing Access Pass Podcast, I would love to hear about it!  Please head on over to iTunes and leave me a Rating and Review (5 stars would be awesome!) so others who are interested in starting an online business can find the show and learn how to escape the “rat-race”.  Click here to learn how to leave a rating and review.  If you have any questions or comments about this show, please post them in the comments area below and my guest and I would more than happy to answer them. New to the Podcast?  Learn More About it Here... The internet Marketing Access Pass podcast was created for people who are tired of working the 9-to-5 job and want to escape the rat-race by creating a startup internet business and work from home.  It doesn't matter if you're new to starting an internet marketing  business or have been doing it for many years this show is for you.  If you're an online entrepreneur and want to work from home then this show will offer you inspiration, strategies, tactics about various topics in internet marketing: to include Marketing Strategies, Blogging, Social Media Marketing, Website Traffic Generation, Search Engine Optimization, and tips on how to make money online.  Anthony Tran from the Marketing Access Pass blog shares his tips on how to build, grow, and monetize an internet business.  He also interviews other successful online entrepreneurs who share their marketing strategies of how they created their startup, how to start a business from scratch, and how they are making money online so they could work from home.  Don't miss out on this great internet marketing podcast and start your internet business today.

Paul Colaianni explains the impact of having a strong networking approach to growing your business.