More than Roommates

In this episode, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott discuss what it means to build an intentional marriage using four categories: what you want to know, be, do, and experience together. In this mini episode we encourage couples to dream together and define their marriage vision through Scripture, spiritual disciplines, and fun experiences.Let us know if you have any feedback on these shorter/mini episodes! Questions to Discuss:1. What do we want to KNOW about marriage, and about each other?2. What kind of people do we want to BE in our marriage (character, values)?3. What do we want to DO together—skills we want to learn or improve?4. What do we want to EXPERIENCE—trips, hobbies, or memory-making moments?5. Which Scripture could serve as a guiding verse for our marriage?Scriptures:1 Peter 3:7Gal 5:22-23Eph 4:2-32 Tim 2:4Acts 20:24Phil 2:1-11 Resources:MTR Episode 3 – The Biblical Vision and Picture of MarriageBook – Making Marriage Easier, by Arlene PellicaneBook – The Know/Be/Do/Experience framework comes from The Intentional Father, by Jon Tyson

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott talk about the importance of trust in marriage. Trust is foundational in any relationship, but especially in marriage. They discuss how past wounds—whether from family, friends, or former relationships—can deeply impact your ability to trust your spouse and experience true intimacy. Let us know if you have any feedback on these shorter/mini episodes! Scriptures Referenced:1 Peter 2:23-24James 1:19 Resources:Podcast Episode – More Than Roommates, Episode 61 – Trust: How to Build It and Restore ItBook – Trust: Knowing When to Give It, When to Withhold It, How to Earn It, and How to Fix It When It Gets Broken, Dr. Henry CloudVideo from the 2025 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference – The Importance of Trust in Marriage Questions to Discuss:1. When you hear something, do you trust it immediately or do you need to do some research to verify the truth?2. How do your past hurts (either from others or from your spouse) impact your relationship with your spouse?3. Is there any unresolved hurt in your life that might be affecting your marriage today?4. What are small ways your spouse has been trustworthy lately? Have you acknowledged or celebrated them?5. If you've been hurt, what's one step you can take this week to move toward healing and trust?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott discuss the common habit of going to friends or a spouse before going to God for wisdom. While community is important, the best place to start is with the Lord. Scriptures:Matthew 6:33James 1:5Proverbs 3:5-6PR 19:11 Questions to Discuss:1. Who and what do you turn to when you're looking for counsel and advice?2. Are you more of an internal or external processor? How about your spouse?3. What's one decision you're facing right now—and have you gone to God first? Resources:Sermon – Questions to Ask When Making Decisions, by Jonathan “JP” PokludaPodcast – More Than Roommates Episode 22 - Episode 22 - What Questions Can Help You Make Decisions in Marriage?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott talk about how to keep your marriage healthy while walking through hard and difficult seasons in life (i.e., loss, illness, infertility, emotional strain). Through biblical truth and personal stories, they discuss how couples can remain unified, cultivate gratitude, and grow spiritually even in life's darkest valleys and seasons. Scriptures:1 Cor 7:28John 16:33Luke 6:47-49PS 34:18Phil 4:4-7LamentationsJames 1:2-4Rom 8:28Gal 6:1-5 Questions to Discuss:1. What is one hard season we've already walked through together? How did it impact our relationship?2. Are we prepared for future trials? What could we be doing now to strengthen our marriage foundation?3. How do each of us typically respond to hardship—and how can we better support one another in those seasons?4. What role does gratitude or spiritual perspective play for us when life gets tough?5. Who is a couple we look up to who has walked through suffering well? What have we learned from them? Resources:Marriage Ministry – reengage (find a location near you)

Drew and Paige Greenway return for part two of their story on infertility, this time focusing on the spiritual lessons, marriage dynamics, and ministry they've embraced through their journey. Using the acrostic TRUST, they unpack teachability in trials, reliance on the Lord, unwavering unity, surrender to His will, and resting in God's timing—all of which shaped their marriage and deepened their faith.Scriptures:Romans 5:2-5PS 34:182 Cor 12:7-10John 15:5Rom 12:10PR 3:5-6Ecc 3:11 Resources:Podcast - More Than Roommates Part 1 with Drew & Paige – Holding On Through the Heartache: A Story of Infertility & Hope – Apple, SpotifyWebsite & Resources – Julie Fowler MinistriesBible Study for Women - Treasures in the Waiting: Finding God's Comfort, Counsel, and Companionship Amid Infertility and Repeat LossBible Study for Men - Navigating Infertility and Loss with Strength and HopeBook - When Empty Arms Become a Heavy Burden: Encouragement for Couples Facing InfertilityQuestions to Discuss:1. Which part of the TRUST acronym resonated most with your current season of life or marriage?2. In what ways do you tend to take control instead of trusting God?3. How can you be more emotionally present for your spouse during a season of suffering?4. How can you better support friends who are walking through infertility or loss?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle and Scott interview Drew & Paige Greenway about their story of infertility and the challenges they've faced along the way Drew and Paige reflect on how these trials affected their faith, marriage, and understanding of God, while offering hope, empathy, and wisdom for others walking a similar path. Part 1 of 2.Scriptures:Gen 2:24Rom 12:15 Resources:Website & Resources – Julie Fowler MinistriesBible Study for Women - Treasures in the Waiting: Finding God's Comfort, Counsel, and Companionship Amid Infertility and Repeat LossBible Study for Men - Navigating Infertility and Loss with Strength and HopeBook - When Empty Arms Become a Heavy Burden: Encouragement for Couples Facing Infertility  Questions to Discuss:1. What stood out to you most from Drew and Paige's story?2. How do we typically respond to suffering—in our relationship with God and each other?3. What role does empathy play when one spouse is grieving more visibly than the other?4. How can we better support couples in our community who are walking through infertility or loss?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle & Scott interview Derek & Kellie Davidson about foster care and adoption. May is National Foster Care Month and in this episode, the Davidsons offer a glimpse into how their marriage has been shaped through saying “yes” to God's call. While sharing their story, full of joy and challenges, they reflect on how families and the church can step in and reflect Christ's love for vulnerable children.ScripturesJames 1:272 Cor 5:18Isaiah 1:17Jn 13:34-35Psalm 127:3Resources:Isaiah 117 HouseTogether For GoodFoster Village WacoSafe Families for ChildrenChristian Alliance For OrphansJason Johnson Questions to Discuss:1. What is one thing that stood out to you from Derek and Kellie's story?2. How do you currently view foster care and adoption? Has this episode challenged or inspired your perspective?3. In what ways can we as a couple support vulnerable children or families in our church or city?4. How do we typically respond when God calls us to something difficult or inconvenient?5. What would it look like to faithfully ask God, “What would You have us do right now?”

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle & Scott talk with Dr. Juli Slattery from Authentic Intimacy about how past sexual abuse impacts individuals and their marriages. With biblical truth, personal insight, and expert care, Dr. Slattery shares how healing can happen in safe relationships marked by trust, patience, and grace. We hope this episode provides hope and healing for those affected by sexual abuse. Scriptures Referenced (in context):Rom 12:15John 10:10PS 34:18Rom 8:28 Resources:Juli's Ministry – Authentic IntimacyJuli's Podcast – Java with JuliBooks: Surprised by the Healer, by Linda Dillow and Juli Slattery; God, Sex, and Your Marriage, by Juli Slattery Questions to Discuss:1. What stood out to you most from this conversation with Dr. Juli Slattery?2. What does it look like to be a “safe place” for your spouse?3. How can we invite—not demand—intimacy in our marriage?4. Are there past wounds (sexual or otherwise) we need to process personally or as a couple?5. Who are safe people or resources we could pursue if we need help?

In this episode, the More Than Roommates team tackles the tension between work and marriage, offering practical and biblical wisdom on balancing career, family, and faith. They unpack how motives, identity, communication, and expectations shape how couples navigate work's impact on their marriage and family.Scriptures:Gen 2:7-9Eph 2:10Col 3:231 Cor 10:311 Peter 3:7 Resources:Podcast - More Than Roommates, Episode 82 - How Does Work Affect Your Marriage? (feat. Jordan Raynor)Book – When Work and Family Collide, by Andy StanleyBook - The Sacredness of Secular Work: 4 Ways Your Job Matters for Eternity (Even When You're Not Sharing the Gospel), by Jordan Raynor Questions to Discuss:1. What was your first job growing up and as an adult?2. What's your motive in how hard or how much you work?3. How would you describe your attitude toward work right now—grateful, resentful, anxious, driven?4. Do you view each other's work—whether inside or outside the home—as equally valuable? How can you better honor one another's contributions?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Scott, Derek, and Gabrielle explore what it looks like for married couples to value, support, and engage their single friends in meaningful ways. They reflect on how Scripture elevates singleness, how the church sometimes unintentionally devalues it, and how we can better reflect the love of Jesus—whether single or married. Scriptures:1 Cor 7:7-8MT 19:12PS 16:11MT 19:6Luke 8:21 Resources:Book – Single, Dating, Engaged, Married, by Ben StuartBook – Single Today, by Ryan WekenmanBook – Table for One, by Ben Pukas Questions to Discuss:1. How do we talk about marriage around our single friends? Are we encouraging or accidentally discouraging?2. What can we do to make single people feel more included in our family life?3. In what ways might we be placing too much pressure on our kids (or others) to get married? 

In the episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss our tendency and desire to win and be right in marriage, when the goal is to “lose”, become more like Jesus, pursue oneness, and walk in humility. Scriptures:Gen 2:18-25John 10:10Phil 2:3-41 Tim 1:151 Cor 13:6 Resources:Removed Series from Harris CreekWatermark Marriage Conference – Lance Sisco - Keeping Score in Your MarriageBook – The Meaning of Marriage, by Timothy & Kathy KellerMore Than Roommates Episode 94 – How to Be a Better Listener in MarriageQuestions to Discuss:1. Who has the harder time saying “You're right” in your relationship?2. Why is hard to say to your spouse, “You are right”?3. How can you pursue a team mentality instead of fighting to be right?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Jonathan “JP' Pokluda shares about the necessity of tension (dissonance) in marriage and 5 ways we need to S.H.I.F.T. in our marriages. This talk was recorded live at the 2025 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference at Harris Creek Baptist Church. Scriptures:PR 15:18, 17:14, 17:19, 20:3PR 18:2, PR 18:13, James 1:19-20PR 10:2, 19:11, 28:13PR 19:11, 12:1, 19:20, 25:28 Resources:This is an edited version of the talk. If you want to watch the video of the Dissonance talk, you can watch it through this link – Dissonance Video.To hear more about WENI, check out MTR Episode 12 – Identifying Negative Communication Patterns Questions to Discuss:1. What's the benefit of dissonance/conflict/tension in marriage?2. How can you make hearing and understanding the goal in your marriage (and not winning)?3. What are some practical ways you need to S.H.I.F.T. in your marriage?

In this live recording of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott respond to John Elmore's talk from the 2025 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference. We discuss some of the practical implications of the fact that Jesus is the composer, conductor, and canon of the melody of our marriages. If you haven't listened to it yet, go ahead and listen to John's message. Questions to Discuss:1. How can you make Jesus ultimate in your marriage?2. How can you and your spouse become more dependent on the Lord in your life and in your marriage?3. Because Jesus is the center of our lives and marriages, how can you be on mission together in your marriage? Scriptures:MT 6:332 Tim 2:4Eph 4:2-3John 15:5Genesis 2:18PR 27:6, 17Acts 20:24 Resources:MTR Episode 121 - Christ is the Melody of Your Marriage (feat. John Elmore)

In this episode of More Than Roommates, John Elmore shares an incredibly powerful message about how Jesus is to be the composer, the conductor, and the canon of the melody of our marriage. This talk was recorded live at the 2025 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference at Harris Creek Baptist Church. Scriptures:Genesis 2:20b-25Matthew 19:4-6Colossians 3:18-19John 17:17Ephesians 5:22-33 Questions to Discuss:1. Do you act like you're the composer of your marriage, or do you acknowledge that Jesus is the composer of marriage?2. How can you let Christ be the conductor of your marriage?3. Take time to listen to Canon in D and pray for and reflect upon your marriage as John guides in the message. ResourcesThis is an edited version of the talk. If you want to watch the video of the Melody talk, you can watch it through this link – Melody Video.

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Scott & Kristen Kedersha discuss how to be in Harmony with one another in marriage. This talk was recorded live at the 2025 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference at Harris Creek Baptist Church. Scriptures:John 15:5Matthew 19:3-6Ecc 9:9Gen 2:18Heb 10:24-25Matthew 7:3-51 Corinthians 10:12 Questions to Discuss:1. Of the 7 aspects of Harmony shared by Scott & Kristen, where are you doing well?2. Of these 7 aspects of Harmony shared by Scott & Kristen, where are you struggling?3. Ask each other the 7 tune-up questions shared throughout this talk. Resources:This is an edited/condensed version our talk. If you want to watch the entirety of the Harmony talk, you can watch it through this link - Harmony Video.

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott talk about the importance of good investments. There are many ways we can invest our time, money, and energy, and in this episode we discuss the importance of regularly investing in your marriage. Resources:Book - Surrendered Sexuality: How Knowing Jesus Changes... Everything, by Juli Slattery (release July 1, 2025)MTR Episode 62 – Your Marriage and the Unhurried Life (feat. Chris Schultz)MTR Episode 64 – Questions to Ask Your Spouse Every WeekMTR Episode 90 – Our Favorite Marriage ResourcesIntentionality In Your Marriage – John & Pam McGee, Uncommon Marriage Conference 2022 Scriptures:Ephesians 5:25Matthew 6:21 Questions to Discuss:What are some areas of your life where you invest your time, money, and energy?How can you invest more time and energy in your marriage?How can you invest more money in your marriage?

In Part 2 of their interview with Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how the little things truly matter in marriage. We discuss the importance of believing the best about our spouse and why we need a combination of quality and quantity time together. Scriptures:1 Peter 3:9Rom 2:4Phil 4:8 Questions to Discuss:What are some small changes you can make in your marriage that could make a big difference?How do you and your spouse do at believing the best about your spouse's intentions?How can you create more quality and quantity time together with your spouse? Resources:Book - The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages: The Little Things That Make a Big Difference, by Shaunti FeldhahnShaunti's Website – Shaunti.comFollow Shaunti on InstagramFollow Brian on InstagramMarried With Benefits Podcast (FamilyLife Network)Podcast - I Wish You Could Hear This with Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn

In Part 1 of a 2-Part interview, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott interview Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins about the small things that make all the difference in marriage. In Part 1 we discuss the myth that 50% of all marriages end in divorce and why it's  harmful to perpetuate this myth Scriptures:1 Cor 13:13Hebrews 3:131 Cor 7:28 Questions to Discuss:How can you build your sense of hope in your marriage?What would you tell a young couple before they get married? How would you encourage or challenge them?What are some ways you need to change the way you talk about marriage with others? Resources:Shaunti's Website – Shaunti.comFollow Shaunti on InstagramFollow Brian on InstagramMarried With Benefits Podcast (FamilyLife Network)Podcast - I Wish You Could Hear This with Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott discuss the importance and centrality of serving your spouse in marriage when life is full and busy and when you don't feel like it! Scriptures:Mark 10:45Gal 5:13Phil 2:1-11Phil 1:271 Cor 13:61 Peter 3:7 Resources:Book – Us in Mind: How Changing Your Thoughts Can Change Your Marriage, by Ted LoweMore Than Roommates – Episode 16 – The Importance of Empathy in Marriage (feat. Ted Lowe)Questions to Discuss:1. What is the thing around the house you hate to do?2. What is one thing your spouse hates to do around the house?3. What Does It Look Like to Serve Each Other in Your Marriage?

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates (our last “Quickie”), Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss what's next—what do you do with all that's been shared in these 12 days of Quickie episodes. We also share some recommended resources to help you take the next step in your marriage and sexual intimacy. Questions to Discuss:Which episode of the 12 days of Quickies was most helpful to you?What's something you learned in this series that you want to apply in your marriage?Are there some concepts discussed in these episodes that would be good to discuss with community to help encourage and challenge each other? Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaWebsite – Authentic IntimacyPodcast – Christian Sexuality – Java with JuliPodcasts – The Naked Marriage Podcast with Dave & Ashley Willis and Marriage on the Line with Dave & AshleyBook – A Celebration of Sex for Newlyweds, by Douglas RosenauBook - Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference, by Shaunti Feldhahn and Michael Sytsma

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss some frequently asked questions about sex, including questions about cussing in the bedroom, sexual abuse, can I say “No,” sex during menstruation, and more. Scriptures:1 Corinthians 7:1-5Hebrews 13:4Ephesians 4:29  Questions to Discuss:How do you handle it in your marriage when one of you is in the mood for sex and the other isn't?Is there any part of your past/your story that would be helpful to discuss a counselor or doctor to get some help and guidance?What questions do you still have about sex and marriage? Email them in to marriage@harriscreek.org for future episodes. Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaWebsite – Authentic IntimacyMinistry for those who have experienced sexual abuse – Courageous Hope at Harris CreekBook – Rid of My Disgrace: Hope and Healing for Victims of Sexual Assault, by Justin & Lindsey Holcomb

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss a frequently asked question about orgasms—for him, for her, and the elusive unicorn of mutual orgasm. We also discuss some common differences between the male and female orgasm.  Questions to Discuss:Have you and your spouse discussed your expectations about how to please each other?How can you take one step to help your spouse reach orgasm?How do you do in giving feedback to each other in the bedroom? Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaPodcast – The Naked Marriage Podcast – Should We Orgasm Together?Website – Authentic Intimacy

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss a frequently asked question— how followers of Christ should think about and make decisions about birth control. What does the Bible say and how Christians should think about birth control. Scriptures:Psalm 127:3Romans 12:21 Cor 6:19-20 Questions to Discuss:Have you and your spouse discussed your views about birth control?Take some time to pray about what God would have you do regarding birth control. Do some research about birth control and discuss with your doctor and your community as needed. Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaPodcast – More Than Roommates Episode 42 – When's the Right Time to Grow Your Family?Website – Authentic Intimacy

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss some common myths and stereotypes about sex drive, desire, and frequency and some potential differences between men and women.  Questions to Discuss:What's the biggest challenge you face in your marriage related to sex drive, desire, and frequency?Have a conversation with your spouse about the topics raised in this episode. Make sure you listen well and seek to understand. Resources:Book – Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference, by Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael SytsmaBook – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaPodcast – Married with Benefits (FamilyLife Network)Website – Authentic Intimacy

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss common challenges couples face with sexual intimacy. These challenges (such as past abuse and trauma, physical pain, guilt and shame) are more common than we might realize, and if you're struggling, you are not alone! Scriptures:Romans 8:1Genesis 32 Cor 5:17 Questions to Discuss:What's been the biggest challenge the two of you have faced in sexual intimacy?Who can you connect with to discuss any issues/challenges you face/could face when it comes to sexual intimacy? Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaWebsite – Authentic Intimacy

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how sex changes in different seasons of marriage – newlyweds, with a newborn, with kids in the house, empty nest, and everything in between. Scriptures:1 Peter 3:7Genesis 2:25Song of Solomon Questions to Discuss:How can you best serve each other in marriage and sexual intimacy in your current season of marriage?What's one challenge you anticipate in the season ahead and how can you proactively address some of the potential challenges? Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss whether or not it's within bounds to “have a quickie.” We discuss different ways to think about sex depending on your schedule and margin, and how to have a healthy rhythm of intimacy.  Questions to Discuss:1. Are you and your spouse on the same page when it comes to quickies?2. How can you make space for more extended time for intimacy together? Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaThe Naked Marriage Podcast

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss specific questions of what's in and out of bounds in the bedroom. What does the Bible say about specific questions such as pornography, masturbation, positions, oral sex, and so much more.  Scriptures:Hebrews 13:41 Cor 6:18Ephesians 5:3MT 5:27-281 Cor 10:31 Questions to Discuss:1. What are some ways you can honor your spouse and serve them in the bedroom? Discuss with one another.2. Take a few moments to pray and ask God to help you honor God and your spouse when it comes to what's in bounds and out of bounds. Pray for grace, patience, and tenderness with one another. Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss some general principles of what's in bounds and out of bounds in the bedroom. Sex cannot involve others besides your spouse (Matthew 5:27-28), cannot involve willingly hurting your spouse against their will (Philippians 2:3-4), and cannot violate your or your spouse's conscience (Romans 14). Come back tomorrow as we get even more specific. Scriptures:MT 5:27-28Phil 2:3-4Rom 14 Questions to Discuss:1. Have you and your spouse ever discussed what's in bounds and out of bounds in your bedroom?2. Take a few moments to pray and ask God to help you honor God and your spouse when it comes to what's in bounds and out of bounds. Pray for grace, patience, and tenderness with one another. Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

Let's talk about Sex! In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss the importance of talking about sexual intimacy in marriage and why couples often struggle to discuss sex. Part of the reason why so many couples struggle in their sex life is because they don't talk about it. Scriptures:Genesis 2:25Ephesians 4:29 Questions to Discuss:How do you and your spouse do at talking about sexual intimacy? Why is it sometimes challenging for you and your spouse to discuss sexual intimacy?How can you and your spouse create a marriage where you are fully known and fully loved?One of the best ways to help you communicate more effectively about sex is to read a book about sex together. We highly recommend the book Married Sex by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta.Write down 2-3 adjectives about how you feel about sex and marriage. Share your responses with your spouse. There's no wrong answer! Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott kick-off a series of “quickies” about sex and the most frequently asked questions about marital sex and intimacy. In this first episode we discuss a Christian, biblical theology of sex—we want to help you think rightly about the gift of sex. Scriptures:Song of Solomon 1:2, 5:11 Corinthians 10:31Phil 2:3-4Genesis 2:24-25 Questions to Discuss:Why do you think that sex is so significant in marriage/to married couples?Do you believe God delights in you as a married couple when you're sexually intimate together? Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how you can fight FOR (not against) your spouse. What does it look like to stand up for and defend them when they face unjustified criticism from someone else (i.e., parents, children, friends)?Scriptures:Genesis 2:24-25Romans 12:19Matthew 5:38-40PR 26:4-5MT 18:15-17Hebrews 3:13Questions to Discuss:Do you have any hot takes that you're willing to fight for/defend?What does it look like to rightfully stand up and defend your spouse?How do you know whether the best thing is to fight for your spouse or to just walk away?Resources:More Than Roommates - Episode 97 – Why Are In-Law Relationships Often So Challenging?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek and Scott interview Layton & Chelsea Boeve from the Liberator Podcast as they share their story about pornography and how it's affected their marriage. Layton and Chelsea share how their story has not become their ministry as they seek to help couples with similar stories. Scriptures:1 Corinthians 6:182 Timothy 1:7Psalm 139:23-24 Resources:Podcast – Liberator Podcast (with Layton & Chelsea)Websites – Fight the New Drug and Truth About PornStudy & Website – Beyond the Porn Phenomenon Questions to Discuss:What are some topics you don't like to discuss with your spouse?What encouraged you most from Layton & Chelsea's story?What steps are you taking in your marriage to fight temptations with lust and pornography?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek and Scott interview Nick Stumbo, the Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries, about pornography and its impact on the brain and how it affects marriages. This episode is Part 1 in a 2-part series about pornography and marriage.Scriptures:James 5:161 Cor 6:18Resources:Website - Pure Desire MinistriesFree Downloads - 7 Keys to Understanding Betrayal Trauma and 5 Steps to Freedom From PornPodcast – Pure Desire Ministries PodcastQuestions to Discuss:What'd the goal and purpose of our sexuality? How does pornography work against God's purposes?How has pornography impacted your marriage?What stood out to you from our interview with Nick?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss the five love languages (as written by Dr. Gary Chapman) and how knowing our love languages allows us to better speak the love language of our spouse. When we know their love language, it gives us an opportunity serve our spouse in a way that honors them. Scriptures:1 Peter 3:7Phil 2:3-4 Resources:Book – The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that LastsResource - 5 Love Languages QuizBlog Post - How You Can Date Your Spouse According To The 5 Love Languages Questions to Discuss:1. What language did you study in school?2. What's your love language? Your spouse's love language? If you don't know, take the quiz at the website listed above.3. What's one way you can speak your spouse's love language today/this week?

Happy New Year! In this brief episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott briefly reflect on the last 12 months as we look backward on 2024 and forward to 2025 with gratitude. Questions to Discuss:What are you most grateful for from the past 12 months?What are you most looking forward to in 2025?How can you and your spouse cultivate a habit of gratitude for your lives and marriage? Scriptures:Joshua 4

Merry Christmas Eve from the More Than Roommates team! In this brief Christmas Eve reflection, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss our true hope and where hope is found on Christmas Day and every day!Scriptures:Proverbs 13:12Romans 15:13Questions to Discuss:What's your favorite Christmas gift you've ever received?What are you hopeful for this Christmas?What's your greatest hope that God would do in your marriage and through your marriage?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott interview Greg and Erin Smalley about conflict and the myth that an absence of conflict means a couple must be healthy. We discuss what the Bible says about conflict and how healthy conflict repair can help us to be fully known and fully loved.Questions to Discuss:1. Do you believe that quarrels and conflict can help couples truly know each other better?2. Are there areas of your marriage where you have avoided tough conversations and swept any issues under the rug?3. How are the two of you different from one another when it comes to conflict?4. How can you develop a posture of humility in your marriage?Scriptures:1 Corinthians 7:28James 4:11 Cor 13:6Eph 4:29Phil 2:3-4Rom 12:18MT 7:3-5MT 18:15-171 Peter 5:5Resources:Greg and Erin's Podcast - Crazy Little Thing Called MarriageWebsite - Focus on the Family

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss the reactive cycle couples often get into with each other when their expectations aren't met. We often fall into harmful patterns that can lead us to negative reactions in our marriage. What is this cycle and how do we get out of it?Scriptures:PR 15:1Rom 12:2Phil 4:8Resources:Hope Restored Marriage Intensive (from Focus on the Family)The Reactive Cycle “Test” – through this brief assessment you can learn your marriage triggers and responses.Cherish: The One Word That Changes Everything for Your Marriage, by Gary ThomasSeven Primal Questions: Take Control Of The Hidden Forces That Drive You, by Mike FosterQuestions to Discuss:1. What triggers your reactive cycle?2. How can you increase the gap between a negative trigger and your response?3. How can we avoid spiraling down into the reactive cycle?

It only comes one time every year, but it's worth celebrating! In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how to celebrate your wedding anniversary in a memorable and significant way.Resources:Blog Post – 30 Unique Ways to Celebrate Your AnniversaryScripture:Ephesians 5:31-321 Peter 3:7Questions to Discuss:1. What's your favorite party you've ever been to?2. What are your expectations for your anniversary? Make sure you discuss what each of your expectations are for celebrating your anniversary.3. Why is it important to celebrate your anniversary? Do you realize your marriage is intended to be a picture of God's triune love?4. Where do we want to be in our marriage on our 50th anniversary?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott talk about what it means to overlook a small offense in marriage. When is it okay to overlook it and when do you need to address and discuss it?Scriptures:Proverbs 19:11Romans 12:181 Corinthians 13:4-7Resources:Harris Creek Conflict: Field GuideHarris Creek Peacemaker GuideMore Than Roommates – Episode 44 – What To Do When Your Spouse Annoys YouQuestions to Discuss:1. What is your favorite Disney song?2. How do you know whether you can overlook an offense from your spouse?3. Why do we give more grace or more easily overlook an offense from a stranger than we do for our spouse?4. Are you a peace faker, a peace breaker, or a peace maker?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle and Scott interview Kyler and Britt Nixon about mutual respect in marriage. The Nixons primarily work with young couples, but this message is relevant for every couple. The Nixons provide practical ways to provide mutual respect in your marriage. Scriptures:Ephesians 5:33Ecclesiastes 4:12Romans 12:10MT 7:12Resources:Follow Love Your First Year on Instagram!Website – Love Your First YearOnline Course - Love Your First YearBlog Post - The 5 Conflict Languages Questions to Discuss:1. How do you and your spouse make decisions? Do you make decisions together? How do you fight for alignment?2. Why does it matter for you and your spouse to show each other respect?3. How do you restore trust and respect when either has been broken?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discussing holidays, especially related to expectations around family and in-laws. How can you proactively address some of the challenges couples often face around holiday expectations?Scriptures:James 4:1Matthew 7:12Phil 2:3-4Galatians 1:10Questions to Discuss:1. What's your favorite Holiday movie? Is Home Alone a Christmas movie? (Yes, of course it is!).2. How can you fight back against selfishness during the holidays?3. How can you and your spouse be peacemakers this holiday season?Resources:More Than Roommates - Episode 51 - How To Make This Your Best Holiday Season Yet (Part 1 in a 2-Part Series)More Than Roommates – Episode 52 – How to Have the Best Holidays Yet With Your Family and In-Laws (Part 2 in a 2-Part Series)

Live from the 2024 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference! In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott respond to a testimony of infidelity shared live at the 2024 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference. We share some lessons learned on how to protect our marriages.Registration is now open for the 2025 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference! Find out more at harriscreek.org/events.Scriptures:1 Corinthians 10:12-13Romans 13:14Luke 6:47-49PS 16:11MT 7:3-51 Tim 1:15Questions to Discuss:1. As we unpack Kevin & Kelli's testimony, what stuck out to you from our observations?2. What do you run to when you're stressed in life and in marriage?3. Who or what is the biggest problem in your marriage?Resources:More Than Roommates Episode 102 – A Story of Redemption and Forgiveness (feat. Kevin & Kelli Mainz)

In this episode of More Than Roommates, we get to hear a testimony from Kevin & Kelli Mainz and their story of infidelity and recovery. While you may not have the same testimony as Kevin & Kelli, you can still learn from their mistakes and be encouraged by God's faithfulness in their story.Registration is now open for the 2025 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference! Find out more at harriscreek.org/events.Questions to Discuss:1. What are you most encouraged by or challenged by in Kevin & Kelli's testimony?2.How have you experienced God's grace, mercy, and forgiveness in your life and in your marriage?3. What story does your marriage tell? A story of brokenness or of redemption and healing?Scriptures:Romans 12:2Deut 31:8Rom 8:28Ecc 9:9PR 3:5-6Isa 40:28-31

We are so excited about the 2025 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference on January 31-February 1, 2025 at Harris Creek! We'll have great teaching, breakouts, fun, and surprises as we seek to help couples take the next intentional step to become so much more than just roommates.We hope to see you there! You can find all the details about the conference and sign-up to join us right here.We sold out last year and we assume we will this year as well, so come join us while spots are available! As always, if we can answer any questions, email us at marriage@harriscreek.org. Please make sure to rate and review More Than Roommates, and please share with your friends.

In this special episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott talk Elections, Your Vote, and Your Marriage. We discuss whether you and your spouse should share who you're voting for, how you can disagree well, and what to do if you disagree on who to vote for.Scriptures:MT 22:15-222 Cor 6:14Ephesians 4:3-5MT 5:13-16Jeremiah 29:7Romans 12:1-2Eph 4:29Questions to Discuss:1. What are some disagreements that you and your spouse had in the past that are funny to look back on now?2. How can you and your spouse disagree well to the glory of God?3. What can kindness look like in your marriage even when you disagree with one another?Resources:Peace Talks Series – Part 1, Peace With God, Jonathan PokludaPodcast – Becoming Something – Episode 289 – Conspiracies and Candidates (feat. Jason Woodruff)Podcast – The Pour Over, 2024 Election Topics Bonus EpisodesInstagram Post - The 11:05 Challenge

Welcome to the 100th episode of More Than Roommates! In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott celebrate the fact that we've now released 100 episodes! We share some of our favorite episodes, what we've learned about marriage through this podcast, and how marriage has changed each of us.Questions to Discuss:1. What have you learned about yourself, your spouse, and marriage through listening to More Than Roommates? Share with our team by emailing marriage@harriscreek.org2. What is God currently teaching or showing you about your marriage?3. How has marriage changed you?Scriptures:James 3:1Ephesians 5:22-27Resources:List of all episodes of More Than Roommates on Apple PodcastsList of all episodes of More Than Roommates on Spotify

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss the unique challenges and opportunities that come along with different seasons of parenting, from newlyweds to the empty nest. How can you keep your marriage strong in every season?Questions to Discuss:1. What's your favorite season of the year? (Winter, spring, summer, fall)2. How can you keep your marriage strong in your current season of marriage and parenting?3. Regardless of the season you're in, what are the priorities for your marriage and family?4. What can you do today in your marriage to help you finish the race strong?Scriptures:PR 15:22Luke 6:47-49John 16:331 Corinthians 7:28Phil 2:3-4Mark 10:45Eph 5:15-16Romans 12:2Hebrews 12:1-2Resources:Are You at Risk for Gray Divorce?, by Focus on the Family

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how to discover and celebrate the spiritual gifts God has given to both you and your spouse. How can you live on mission together, using and highlighting the gifts God has given to each of you?Scriptures:Ephesians 41 Corinthians 12Romans 121 Peter 4Ephesians 5:25-27Questions to Discuss:1. What's the best gift you've ever received?2. What are your spiritual gifts?3. How can you highlight your spouse's gifts?4. Ask your spouse how you can help them use their gifts.

Why is conflict between a husband and wife and the in-laws so common? In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss some common challenges couples often encounter with family and in-laws and discuss some ways to proactively build and reactively repair in-laws relationships.Scriptures:Ruth 1:16-17Romans 12:18Hebrews 12:14Romans 12:10Matthew 7:3-51 Peter 3:7Genesis 2:24Col 3:12-14Resources:More Than Roommates – Episode 94 – How to Be a Better Listener in MarriageMore Than Roommates – Episode 32 – The Non-So-Secret Guide to In-Law Relationships (feat. Dave Willis)More Than Roommates – Episode 21 – How Can We Have Healthy Relationships with Our In-Laws?Questions to Discuss:1. Why do in-law and family relationships often seem so fragile and challenging?2. How can you be for your in-laws and family and not against each other?3. What are some ways you can do a better job of believing the best about your in-laws instead of assuming the worst?4. Challenge: Make a commitment to consistently pray for your in-laws and family.