NOT REALLY

We stare across the killing fields of our social media profiles past: Diaryland, Livejournal, Makeoutclub, Neopets, Friendster, MySpace, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Vine... to arrive at hell on earth: Tik Tok. Leia Jospe, curator of @favetiktoks420 joins us to discuss these frontiers as well as Netflix's new Hype House reality series, Hulu's The D'Amelio Show, and more.   Today's theme: "Tick Tock" by Death In June

Anna Khachiyan drops in to review Hillary Clinton's new MasterClass in being a loser.  You can support Anna by going to patreon.com/redscare !  Today's theme: "Credit in the Straight World" by Hole

It's quality over quantity, people. And this episode is double-stuffed: we review House of Gucci, talk about how Best Actress is turning into Snatch Game, weigh in on the Jussie and Ghislaine trials, touch on the cishet male drag queen heard round the world, get back to our pop-punk roots, spin our wheels about fashion and appropriation, discuss the loss of Virgil Abloh, grapple with the epidemic of bad-faith criticism, and come to the conclusion that if you aren't controversial you probably aren't doing it right. Oh, and we kind of get sidetracked by Lucille Ball which is a thing that happens to gay guys.   End of Year Wrap-Up Pod Hotline: send us your burning questions or requests in the comments, DMs, and by calling 347-709-2704. Today's theme: "Down4ever" by Money

Parentally supervised Beverly Hills sex parties, neoprene peplums on the Parisian runways, pseudoinflammatory standup specials on Netflix, the absence of a Twitter void, suicide glam, the wrong shoes, Balenciaga Simpsons, Bottega pussy, mondo Italiano, Sherry Pie's jailbreak and crime spree across Gotham City, gay tabloids, being misquoted in the press, Angelyne's personality disorder, reptilian diets, Ferrari trunk retail, Tammy Faye and Tony Soprano, and a bullet right through Livia's bouffant on the New Jersey turnpike. MENTION IT ALL!  Today's theme is "Souvenir (Demo)" by Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark For the full episode go to patreon.com/notreally 

Azealia Banks bringing the NYC floods, Channing Tatum's makeover, gay style, the summer in bad movies, Erika Jayne's breathtaking descent into hell, the most diabolical Housewives, the Lewinsky scandal, and just a regular old catchup with just us squirrelfriends.  For the full episode go to patreon.com/notreally Today's theme: "Leave Out (ft. LEECH and Ian Isiah)" by Anonymous Club

Welcome to season 2, it's literally a riot. We discuss the new HBO rock doc Woodstock 99: Peace, Love, and Rage and get into all the absurd contradictions that make it a fascinating watch. We also get into bad faith criticism, woke revisionism, where we would have more likely been that same summer, which artists are NOT included, and everything else with special guest Heather Jewett.   Subscribe to Heather's patreon, Bimbo Summit at https://www.patreon.com/heatherjewett/ Watch her IG lives @hurrrjurrr and follow her twitter @bimbosummit

The long-awaited season finale of Not Really.  For more, go to patreon.com/notreally  

Oprah's disembodied netherworld, Elliot with one T, choir boys on cruise ships, gastric bypass surgery, Demi Lovato's struggles, prestige television, the Oscars, etc.! Check out Patrik on two other podcasts this week, Sexy Unique Podcast and Dial #Dan.  Today's theme: "Rowdy Friends" by Choir Boy (Hank Williams Jr. cover) Subscribe at patreon.com/notreally for the full episode! 

We talk about America's America problem, Great Britain's Great Britain problem, and the whole fucking problem with the stupid fucking world.  Plus: Paul breaks his silence on his replacement best friend Anna Delvey.  Today's theme: "Someone's Calling" by Modern English Sign up at patreon.com/notreally for bonus episodes including our recent ep with Sky Ferreira! 

Sky Ferreira is back to talk about growing up in proximity to the Jacksons, Star Search, MTV's Total Request Live, boy bands, contemporary pop lore, young Hollywood misadventures, presents from Taylor Swift, writing songs for undisclosed pop divas, the Swedish sound factory, and all things Britney Spears. Plus: Lindsay Lohan dressed as Elizabeth Taylor wielding a gun at the Chateau Marmont.   Today's theme: "Anticipating" by Britney Spears   FOR THE FULL EPISODE, SUBSCRIBE to our Patreon at patreon.com/notreally!   

AIDS conspiracies, PrEP+ drama, WeHo bodies, hairlessness, Bobby Trendy, Anna Nicole Smith, prison sex, MTV's The Real World, locker room memories of sex symbol Eric Nies, committing gym fraud, fake i.d.s, Crunch Fitness, Brooklyn Raves, fashion parties, sexual assault, Cuomosexuals, hetero subcultures, ABC's The Bachelor, Brentwood hellos, film reviews, gay nightmares, fashion drama, the works!  Today's theme: "Gray Wave City" by Geneva Jacuzzi Subscribe for bonus episodes at patreon.com/notreally 

We're back and explain where we've been. We get into Mercury retrograde, mourning the loss of Sophie, Valentine's Day, Anna Delvey's prison release, Sherry Pie's Tamron Hall appearance, season 13 of Drag Race and then Paul reviews Sia's directorial debut, Music.  Had to pause there.  Then we talk about Barb & Star Go To Vista Del Mar, the New York Times's Britney Spears documentary, defending Diane Sawyer and David Letterman, "The Wendy Wiliams Event," and Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.  Today's theme: "Sunscreen (Forever Edit)" by SOPHIE featuring LIZ For more please subscribe to the patreon! Patreon.com/NotReally  

Subscribe to our patreon at patreon.com/notreally  Seriously! Let Liza Minnelli explain.   

We talk about all our favorite topics: Profanity Censorship Hypocrisy Bullying Ariel Pink The Trumps Kellyanne Conway Twitter Cable News Crying Witchhunts Drag Queens S&M Hollywood Stars Gay Rumors Serial Killers And so much more, including our overview of the new season of RuPaul's Drag Race. Warning: episode contains reads. NO tagging or narc-ing please!  Today's Theme: "Phantasthma" by Ariel Pink Coming this week: ASK US ANYTHING Patreon special. Sign up at patreon.com/notreally and dial 347-709-2704 to leave us a voicemail. Toodles bitch. 

!!! RATED NC-17 !!! 2021 has been several years in only a matter of hours. We talk about the insurrection at Capitol Hill, bipartisan horseshoe theory, rejecting authority, and online hysteria. Patrik defends Ariel Pink from the angry mob and we talk about being punk, whether forgiveness is still a virtue, if the election was actually rigged, and parse the way the right and left are swapping fundamental principles without anybody really noticing. Then we get into the Kanye and Jeffree rumors, repressed homosexuality, Kim's romantic prospects, Gen-Z's next Ann Coulter, object fetishism, and wrap things up with the 411 on Alexander Wang's litany of abuse allegations in the context of his career... which...honestly...? I guess you have to listen.  Today's Theme: "Human (Human League Cover)" by Lloyd and the 6ths.  For more, go to http://www.patreon.com/notreally  

Homosexual president Donald Trump issues an executive order on what constitutes fabulous architecture and to no one's surprise, we agree with him. We also talk about Martin Shkreli's sad girlfriend, Sydney Leathers's response, Tom Cruise's COVID meltdown, Erika Jayne's financial crimes, Tom Girardi's mistress, and Logo's dead series The A-List.  Today's Theme: "All I Want For Christmas Is You" by Black Marble

We get into the HBO Max of it all—Warner Bros. screwing over their creative talent, Jenna Lyons's cautionary tale of a reality series, Veneno (we haven't watched, but we plan to, join us), the Heaven's Gate docuseries—and then move on to explain Barrett Pall, Patrik reviews The Midnight Sky, Paul journeys through time and space, we argue about Dune, Paul BLASTS Madonna, and then he explains what happened to the Not Really T-shirts! We also reveal right at the top "who invented the 1970s"... Tell Little Sally she's getting a vibe check tonoooight.  Today's theme: "Inverness" by Soft Kill  Go to http://www.patreon.com/notreally to hear the full episode!

It's our deep pandemic advice episode with your favorite guest, Kalena Yiaueki! Thank you to everyone who called in or sent questions. We get into dating addicts, codependency, open relationships, un-cuffing in quarantine, our own private lives, and so much more.  Today's Theme: "Love in a Vacuum" by 'Til Tuesday  

We are the nightmare you've been reading about. Paul surprised Patrik on Thanksgiving in L.A. by waltzing through the door and we have not stopped partying since. On this ep we get into the shitty Hulu Lesbian Christmas RomCom, Sia's movie trailer, when representation becomes exploitative, this week's cancel attempts, Khloe Kardashian's facial controversy, Pharrell's skincare line, and the new L.A. shutdown.  Tomorrow we have Kalena back on the pod for your cuffing season in quarantine questions! Leave a comment here with your queries, DM us, or call 347-709-2704 and leave a message! (We love those.) Thank you for supporting us, December will be a loaded month of very good patreon eps so stay tuned.  For the full episode go to patreon.com/notreally

We recap the 2020 Presidential Election, reflect on Trump's highs (hair) and lows (makeup), and talk about Kamala's split personality and the republican efforts to expose election fraud. Welcome to the least important election of our lifetimes!  Today's theme: "April Ha Ha" by Nothing For more episodes subscribe at patreon.com/notreally 

It's a week before the 2020 election and we're getting into everything filthy, degrading, indecent, and depraved: namely, Netflix's Emily in Paris. But first, we talk Hunter Biden's stolen smut files, Patrik's adventures in 4chan, Jeffrey Toobin's Zoom exposure, Robert Zemeckis's The Witches, Kanye's Joe Rogan interview, Kardashians with COVID-19, and Paul introduces us to his new cat, and then the cat dies live on air. Not joking.  Today's theme: "Angst In My Pants" by Sparks.  For the full episode go to http://www.patreon.com/notreally 

We talk about Hunter Biden's recovered hard drive and the tech oligopoly's suppression of the story, and why nothing either side can come up with matters at this point in the election. We also get into Scott Peterson's trial by media, Luca Guadagnino's HBO series, why the Vow is a bigger cult than NXIVM, HRH Collection's war on homelessness, SNL's terrible season, Miley Cyrus's post-grunge covers of classic alternative songs, Tiffany Trump, and more.   Today's theme: "Starfall" by SALEM   For more, subscribe to exclusive episodes at http://www.patreon.com/notreally   

We talk about Trump's diagnosis, his dangerous curves, his presidential hospital suite, his home movies, and his erosion of news standards and the effect it's had on national nightmares like Anderson Cooper and Rachel Maddow. Then we get into Oprah's Mariah Carey interview, Mariah Carey's new memoir, the McDonald's celebrity collaborations, and tease a conversation about Stephanie Winston Wolkoff's supposed tell-all Melania and Me.  Today's theme: "Rude Boy (Blondes Remix feat. Mariah Carey)" by Rihanna  For more, subscribe to exclusive episodes at http://www.patreon.com/notreally 

We talk MSNBC dementia, why presidential debates don't matter, the instantaneous liberal revisionism of Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Ann Coulter's timeless racism and comedic timing, redefining what "middle class" means, and then we gossip about Wendy, Andy, Nene, Karen, Paris, Kathy, Nicky, Diamond, Silk, and Akeem.  Make an appointment to see Akeem Smith's blockbuster exhibition No Gyal Can Test at Red Bull Arts in NYC now: https://redbullarts.com/newyork/news/akeem-smith-no-gyal-can-test/ Sign up for more Not Really episodes at http://www.patreon.com/notreally   

Did you hear? Ruth died.  We briefly talk RBG, then get into getting baited by zoomers, the Mission Chinese scandal, the Paris Hilton documentary, the joys of apathy, the end of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, award shows, and which American fashion brands have managed to suspiciously survive the apparel implosion in America.  Today's theme: if you don't already know... Subscribe to more episodes of Not Really on http://www.patreon.com/notreally!     

Congratulations! In this episode we announce that Quarantine is over, New York doesn't need to be saved, the Post Office should be abolished, Bella Thorne did nothing wrong, and OnlyFans creators aren't sex workers. Then we talk about Jeffree Star's transactional new romance, terrifying Tik Tok teens, Nancy Pelosi's blowout, how fast we want to go back to the movies, why Jessica Krug doesn't matter, minding your business, and why groups of gay men should be allowed to go to the beach and have sex whenever they want.  It's your favorite podcast. Subscribe to bonus episodes at patreon.com/notreally.  Today's theme: "Murphy's Law" by Róisín Murphy

In our first Dramarama Special, we turn to singer/actress/icon Sky Ferreira to guide our listeners through the ups and downs of Quarantine. Thank you to everyone who called in!   Today's Theme: "Voices Carry ('Til Tuesday Cover)" by Sky Ferreira   For the full episode go to http://www.patreon.com/notreally and subscribe! 

We talk about the plight of working and the indignity of labor and then get into Azealia Banks's brush with death, Kamala Harris's VEEP announcement, the inevitability of the Biden/Harris ticket, why they'll win, social media election-splaining, Karen permanence, cardboard cutouts at live events, Kanye's 2020 merch, Virgil's Walter Van Beirendonck controversy, satire versus theft, Christine Quinn from Selling Sunset, and why democracy never existed and voting only matters in a handful of states.   Got Drama? Call our hotline and tell us all about it for our first-ever Dramarama Special! Call 347-709-2704 and leave us a message.   Today's Theme: "Witchhunt Suite for WWIII" by Ariel Pink 

We talk about Patrik's deranged Twitter fan, lazy Red Scare haters, the Hunger Games of media Twitter, why everyone hates Patrik, posting under the influence, policing likes, gaslighting defense as offense, white girl fragility, and why academia and corporate media will never save you. Then we dive into our reviews of Taylor Swift's folklore, Beyoncé's Black Is King, Oprah's delayed TV comeback, and Canada's Drag Race.  Don't ask us who we're talking about, you can figure it out!  Today's theme: Destiny's Child "Say My Name" (Cyril Hahn Mix) - a legendary remix For the full episode sign up at http://www.patreon.com/notreally ! 

It's been a busy week for us but we do not want to leave you guys hanging so here is a very popular Patreon episode of recent vintage featuring one of our favorite regulars, Alissa Bennett, recorded on the occasion of Mary Kay Letourneau's untimely demise. Originally published July 8.  For more episodes like this, subscribe to our Patreon at http://www.patreon.com/notreally ! Enjoy!  Breaking News: Mary Kay Letourneau is DEAD. She DIED. Alissa Bennett joins us for an emergency edition of Not Really looking back at the scandal, the sickness, and the saga of one of the most infamous women of the '90s. Was it true love or was it a predatory perversion? Journey inside the mind of Mary Kay in what can best be described as the definitive record of her life and times, never to be eclipsed...at least until Vili Fualaau's memoir gets picked up. Background materials mentioned: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/07/obituaries/mary-kay-letourneau-dead.html?surface=most-popular&fellback=false&req_id=585083177&algo=top_conversion&imp_id=580833784&action=click&module=Most%20Popular&pgtype=Homepage https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/09/28/us/child-sex-abuse.html https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mowKsGWuW4 And subscribe to Alissa's podcast The C Word (with Lena Dunham) on Luminary!  https://luminarypodcasts.com/listen/lena-dunham-and-alissa-bennett/the-c-word-luminary-premium/4425e6c3-0117-4304-bb05-a994b05ee354?gclid=Cj0KCQjw3ZX4BRDmARIsAFYh7ZKPUaREWCNoCF6XGWUN5sv9z9mTC4-2Xy3H48Hqb5St1M4ByDPJPewaAscKEALw_wcB&country=US

Kanye West's presidential rally and social media diaries, Trump's message for Ghislaine, Teyana Taylor's ballroom appropriation, the sexual reckoning at Burger Records, and Portland's Naked Athena.  This episode's theme: "Not A Problem" by the Black Lips For the full episode go to http://www.patreon.com/notreally! 

We talk the bluecheck hack, Paul getting unsuspended, looming takedowns, cancel predictions, Gay Twitter, the so-called myth of cancel culture, trickle-down oppression, the competitive capitalism of public shaming, the Harper's Letter, why we podcast, the victim/villain binary, why gay men don't get offended, #JewishPrivilege, privilege as insult, the reclosing of L.A., the myth of dog whistles, the self-annihilation of the left, the Mission Chinese drama, settlement chasers, jealousy, the dopamine poison of being liked online, the insulation of wealth, the merciless guillotine of public relations, the elementary genius of Fox news, the latest gossip around Ghislaine, and so much more! Today's theme: "2y & 6m" by Cindy Relevant links: The Harper's Letter: https://harpers.org/a-letter-on-justice-and-open-debate/ Feeling Asian Podcast w/ Danny Bowien: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3BIONBt6nVFjw8ZN69wyZC?si=EJax5255TA2bQqnz9J36_w Caitlin Flanagan dunking on Jennifer Finney Boylan: https://twitter.com/CaitlinPacific/status/1282047624032346112?s=20 Ross Douthat's 10 Theses About Cancel Culture: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/14/opinion/cancel-culture-.html Patia's Legendary Guide: http://pfw.guide/ Subscribe to Not Really on Patreon for a brand new episode on Mary Kay Letourneau! http://www.patreon.com/notreally   

Paul's review of Hamilton is in and IT STINKS! We discuss the death of content, electoral politics as entertainment, Kanye's presidential announcement, Kylie Jenner's "web of lies", kundles on the pier, quarantines at the Beverly Hills Hotel, and caviar dreams!  Also: Kimberly Guilfoyle's contagious exploits, rage against the Fire Island Pines, Hell's Kitchen al fresco, mutual shaming du jour, Unsolved Mysteries, Ghislaine Maxwell's New Hampshire lair (and connection to streetwear), J.K. Rowling's TERF war, coming to terms with the ubiquitous evil behind all American holidays, and the death of the "king of lawsuits" himself, Milton Glaser! Subscribe to the bonus episodes only at http://www.patreon.com/notreally!  Today's theme: "No More Words" by Berlin.

We're joined by our friend, producer/actress/creative guru Mary Ann Heagerty to discuss a world she tunes into on the reg: beauty influencers on YouTube and their assorted dramaramas. We get into Tati Westbrook's latest bombshell allegations against Shane Dawson and Jeffree Star, the glistening enclave of Calabasas McMansions where they hock their product lines, and why YouTubers have replaced the soap stars of yore.  For the full episode, go to http://www.patreon.com/notreally and sign up!  Today's theme: "Face To Face" by Missing Persons 

We talk Patrik's gorgeousness problem, the alleged fireworks psyop, big streaming's iron fist, Reddit banning podcast subs, the cancel wave, 30 Rock's self-own, Shane Dawson's Million Apologies Tour, Lena Dunham's hater magnetism, nepotism paranoia, Hollywood dynasties, the New Gay Pride, the mutual humiliation of white guilt, how media can actually be progressive, the death of magazines, and why burning something down only works if you create a new paradigm in its place rather than reinstitute it with new cast members. (Ahem: Vanderpump Rules!) Subscribe to our Patreon at http://www.patreon.com/notreally Find out how to best help the movement at http://pfw.guide Read about the Reddit ban: https://www.theverge.com/2020/6/29/21304947/reddit-ban-subreddits-the-donald-chapo-trap-house-new-content-policy-rules This week's track: "True Faith" by New Order (Luca Magnotta's Theme) 

Did you miss us? We're back, with very special guest Brontez Purnell! Brontez is here to promote his third novel, 100 Boyfriends, coming soon from Farrar, Straus and Giroux. We also talk about the Vanderpump Rules firings, gay pride mixing with black lives matter protests, body dysmorphia amid the revolution, looting Target, the Iraq War, very special statements from white brands, Rihanna's inadvertent reparations anthem, Paul and Patrik getting cancelled, Paul and Patrik being uncancellable, the viral donation discrepancy, flashpan equity initiatives, how the onus of racial education steals from black creatives, leaderless resistance, quarantine's uprising effect, the apocalypse, Obama complacency, and Brontez's incredible body of work in bands like Gravy Train!!! and The Younger Lovers, as well as his career as an author and documentarian.  We missed you too. And we're not sorry. 

Everything to the side: we live in a racist country and we've had enough. Let's discuss systemic racism.  With a very special message from New York City's True Finest, the One and Only Big Shugga, America's Auntie, Ian Isiah.     

We discuss the swift rise and fall of Netflix's queer branding strategist, young millennial queer culture's personal branding obsession, assimilation into corporate culture as a reverse resistance optic, media millennials washing their personal interactions with buzzterms and marketspeak, and how young LGBTQ+ narcissists regard the AIDS crisis as an obstacle that successive generations can claim as an empowerment narrative despite total removal from the tragedy and zero personal stakes. Then we remember our hero Larry Kramer and talk about the instant backlash against him on the day of his death, on the part of wimps, sex addicts, and losers. We also get into the modern syndrome of judging past behaviors through today's moral majority standards.  Plus: The Jeffrey Epstein docuseries, Bill Clinton's affair with Ghislaine Maxwell, Racist Amy in Central Park, Hot Christian the gay bird watcher, cops getting away with murdering black people, the Jenny Jones murder, Kiki Kannibal, early-2000s MTV reality shows, and more!   Subscribe to our patreon for tons of recent episodes featuring the likes of Hari Nef, Steven Phillips-Horst, Amber A'Lee Frost, Finn MacTaggart, and more: http://www.patreon.com/notreally Relevant links:  "Losing the Narrative: The Genre Fiction of the Professional Class" by James McElroy https://americanaffairsjournal.org/2020/05/losing-the-narrative-the-genre-fiction-of-the-professional-class/ "The Pandemic Work Diary of Netflix's Queer Champion" by Melissa Guerrero https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/13/business/fran-tirado-netflix-lgbtq.html "Did Netflix oust LGBT exec Fran Tirado over New York Times interview?" in Page Six https://pagesix.com/2020/05/26/did-netflix-oust-lgbtq-exec-fran-tirado-over-ny-times-interview/?utm_medium=SocialFlow&utm_source=P6Twitter&utm_campaign=SocialFlow  

This episode was recorded all the way back in March, has quarantine really lasted this long? Head over to http://www.patreon.com/notreally for dozens more episodes like this one.  Alissa Bennett is back and here to discuss her latest beautiful but grim discovery, the life, legacy, and death of the gay porn icon Erik Rhodes. It just so happens that Patrik and Paul both knew Erik Rhodes...we discuss his career trajectory, proximity to the fashion biz, dark depraved soul, drug addictions, online diaries, and the runaway train that was his eventual heart attack at the age of 30. We miss you James! (That was his real name.)   

We talk Ben Smith's Ronan Farrow takedown, high achiever syndrome, resistance journalism, audiobook melodrama, and why Farrow's investigative nonfiction comes across as a glorified Hollywood audition. We also get into Alison Roman's suspension from the New York Times, James Charles's "Instant Influencers," Jackie Cox, and the emergence of the politically correct drag queen. We discuss VH1's censure of Sherry Pie and imagine what the season would have been like had she been showcased objectively. Then we talk about Justin Bieber and Ariana Grande's #1 debut controversy, parse the conspiracies and money channels that dictate the Billboard charts, and observe Doctor Luke's comeback with the new Doja Cat single featuring Nicki Minaj. Then we talk about Jeffrey's closing, New York COVID-19 casualties, and why Patrik is moving to L.A. Further reading: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/17/business/media/ronan-farrow.html https://www.nme.com/news/music/billboard-responds-after-tekashi-6ix9ine-accused-ariana-grande-and-justin-bieber-of-rigging-hot-100-chart-2672297 Subscribe to Patreon for bonus episodes! http://www.patreon.com/notreally 

Big COVID energy. What don't we talk about?  Paul started watching Vanderpump Rules for the first time and solved the mystery of the 7-11 Corona Bandit, and then we go into how the Coronavirus is teaching people how to live in a society, why quarantining is really designed to curb the worst among us, the cancelled New York Democratic Primary, DeBlasio's "Jewish" gaffe, unpacking the syntax, his intent, the Internet's outrage, and what it reflects. Also: Cuomosexuals, the cudgel of victimization, regional controversies and our new New York relativism, Zoom funerals, social distancing cops, pandemic as equalizer, Jeff Goldblum's Drag Race controversy, abusing oneself to please one's parents, the liberal obsession with lesser evils, post-millennial fusion of self and brand how it erodes the art of drag, delusional American exceptionalist fantasies of first-world status, and the conflation of otherness with virtue. Paul comes out as trad Cath and we reminisce about Catholic child molestors, and realize middle-aged Catholic smokers are the new tabloid sex symbols (Chris Cuomo and Ben Affleck). We also talk about why podcasters, YouTubers, and porn stars are the post-COVID entrepreneurial class, Hillary Clinton's graboid bid for the running mate slot, Rebecca Traister's Biden Trap essay, the spinelessness of the Democratic Party's leadership, and finally...a message from the CEO of Nasty Pig.  Subscribe to our patreon at http://patreon.com/notreally for more episodes, including Housewives specials! 

Paul's drunk. Patrik's hot and bothered over due process. Neither of us are voting for Joe Biden, and it has nothing to do with sexual assault allegations. We also talk about the lost art of "getting away with it," and our favorite YouTubers: Paul is obsessed with Kalvin Garrah's war against GoFundMe surgeries, Patrik loves HRH Collection but finds her to be a "nondesigner," or a "fashion charlatan," if you will. We venture into Drag Race's Madonna Rusical and address our beloved listeners and their absolutely adorable demands!  We have recorded 14 special quarantine episodes with guests like Hari Nef (twice!), Alissa Bennett, Steven Phillips-Horst, and we did a RHONY episode and a full radio show with music!...If you aren't a subscriber to the patreon, so much awaits you once you join: http://www.patreon.com/notreally   

We are doing DAILY PATREON EPISODES the ENTIRE DURATION OF THE QUARANTINE! Go to http://www.patreon.com/notreally for the FULL episodes!  Welcome to the dollhouse! Hari Nef joins us to discuss this week's episode of Drag Race, season 12, the early seasons, bio queens, fishy femmes, who's got it and who's got nothing. We talk oedipal mom-worship in the drag arts, the trans/drag connection, Jan's obsession with going mainstream, Widow Von Du's watermelon realness, and wonder if we should just forgive Sherry Pie... We go deep on Sherry Pie's connection to Playwright's Horizons, the Hell's Kitchen theater circuit, Bulk the musical based on the movie based on the musical and who's playing whom, casting, the Vanity Fair party, our J train haters, social justice warrior regrets, and caviar dreams! We also take time to address our listeners...you guys are cute but some of you think you're too cute. Patrik is going to start blocking you for it! Again, we are not putting out any free episodes for the entire quarantine period so if you talk to someone who's not on the Patreon let that bitch know where it's all going down dolls!!!!  

We are now DAILY!!! We are doing nightly shows over on patreon.com/notreally during the quarantine!!!! EVERY...SINGLE...NIGHT... Tonight we have guest Amber A'Lee Frost from Chapo and two nights ago we had Alissa Bennett on to do a deep dive into the life and death of pornstar Erik Rhodes. Who will the NEXT GUEST? tune in to find out! Also t-shirts are now available at not-really-store.myshopify.com Follow us on insta at @notreallypod for daily updates and I hope all of our listeners stay in good health and good spirits! Xo Paul 

We are recording Patreon-only nightcalls the whole duration of the Quarantine! Check out our first on on http://www.patreon.com/notreally ! We go into all the gossip and drama surrounding the pandemic and our new, shut-in lives, including recommendations, music, movies, trend forecasts and more.  Check out all our newest merch to order now at our shopify! https://not-really-store.myshopify.com/collections/all   If you want to leave a message for tomorrow's show, call 347-709-2704    

This is the first episode in our nightly quarantine series, which will be available for the duration of the pandemic on Patreon! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/notreally for a day-by-day breakdown of what has to be the most melodramatic extinction-level mass behavioral shift since Paul was kicked off Twitter and forced to shitpost as @gaycrossfit.  We discuss our quars, individual symptoms, attention-starved celebrities, becoming gamers, "the death of cinema", Alex HRH Collection, the fulfilled prophecies of Wall-E, Idiocracy, and Glamorama, Paul's brother's girlfriend's intimacy issues, Coronavirus grifters, lying hookers, getting deplatformed, our entertainment suggestions, Danielle Staub's face, designer dogs named after designer bags, and Amanda Bynes's pregnancy.  Buy the first and very-limited-edition Not Really T-shirt at https://not-really-store.myshopify.com/collections/frontpage/products/paul-s-birthday-shirt !!!  

Live from New York City's COVID-19 quarantine, it's your worst nightmare! We try a new recording method and—surprise!—it doesn't work out in our favor. (Apologies for the audio on this episode...if you complain about it, you're getting blocked!!!) This episode we discuss the Weinstein sentencing, Sherry Pie's sadistic catfishing, what happens when game shows unwittingly become true crime documentaries, the doxxing of Ru, cancel queens, Bernie's decision to stay in the 2020 democratic primary, the elite conspiracy against the poor, why corporations and big lobbyists want Coronavirus to kill you, the defaming of Jordan Wolfson, the importance of transgression in art, lame narratives, mediocre imposters, and your cynical gaze... Subscribe to our Patreon! Not US, YOU! http://www.patreon.com/notreally 

It's not-so-super Wednesday and Patrik is on fire! We address our previous comments on fibromyalgia, the attention economy and what celebrities will stoop to for relevance, Gaga's new single, the "time to be hated," and Hillary Clinton's pathological narcissism. We also devote the majority of the episode to SUPER TUESDAY, Biden's perceived comeback, underdogs and frontrunners, the pageantry of the democratic primary, narratives and who spins them (and who buys them), Biden's backroom deals with multi-billion-dollar lobbyists, Elizabeth Warren's endgame and insights into her suspicious political ambitions courtesy of feminist scholar Drucilla Cornell, respectability politics, being stereotyped into a voting block, why Bernie still has a shot, what you can do, and how we can help him win, what to say to your friends and family, and how to stay strong and push through! We also touch on the new season of Drag Race, our upcoming merch, and more!  Subscribe to Not Really on Patreon at http://www.patreon.com/notreally 

By extremely popular demand, beauty consultant to the stars Alexis Page is back on the podcast to take all (or most) of our listener questions about all things glam: products, skincare, chemicals, French pharmaceuticals, hype brands, moisturizers, lip, teeth, eyes, hair, chins, backs, wrinkles, neck lines, fillers, contouring, dark circles, you name it! Got a problem? Get in line! You may want a pen and paper to take notes on all the products that get mentioned in this extravaganza of drugstore goops you'll need to be an unclockable spook in the geish while shoplifting at Sephora. We also get to the bottom of how much it will cost to launch our own beauty brand. Patreon subscribers, step those pledges up.  Subscribe to our Patreon for the full episode at http://www.patreon.com/notreally! 

We're back on our bullshit, throwing ourselves into a rapidfire roulette discussion of the week's pressing controversies, microscandals, and misunderstandings: the moral majority attacks on South Park and Salò, Jameela's Munchausen, Wendy's anti-gay remarks, Richard Dawkins's eugenics proposal, Donald Trump's review of the Oscars, Rosario Dawson's queer baiting, Scott Bixby's Daily Beast story, the deplatforming of Ben Mora, New York's missing winter, Judge Judy's Bloomberg hysteria, the death of Gummy Bear Davis, and Angelyne's new producing career. We also dive into the democratic primary and debunk some of the arguments against Bernie Sanders. Paul embraces his inner Bernie Bro and gets kicked off Twitter. Patrik explores the psychic delusions of the relational health care economy, and coins a new acronym for the gay community (LGIT).  We also talk Netflix's Love Is Blind and explore the devastating pathology of Jessica, a cypher for aging single women everywhere. We also parse Carlton's bisexual dilemma and Paul explains the double standard of the bi-nary.  Join our Patreon for a new episode this week, featuring our beauty guru Alexis Page! http://www.patreon.com/notreally   

Patrik and Paul cozy up in bed at the Marlton Hotel with our love guru Kalena Yiaueki and special guest, Succession star Annabelle Dexter-Jones! We take listener Valentine's Day questions and dive into true romance, covering topics like hygiene, the coronavirus, sexting on planes, airdrop harassment, detransitioning for jobs, stalker behavior, frozen auras, "thawing out," grand gestures, Ali Wise's felony indictment over hacking the voicemails of her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriends, PDA, relationships on Instagram, exhibitionism versus shitposting, the three attachment styles, couples astrology, germaphobia, taking PrEP+, ass shots, our own love lives, general dysfunction, and former Real Housewife of New York Carole Radziwill phones in to answer a question about—what else?—blowjobs!  We hope you had a nice Valentine's Day, head over to our patreon to subscribe to special episodes at http://www.patreon.com/notreally