Alchemy For Life - How to's, observations, and tangible doable solutions to reduce stress, get control, have more fun.

Well, hey there. Welcome back. Redefining Friction: Physics vs. Process What does friction mean to you? For most of my life, friction has just simply described a physics concept in which something rubs against something else in some way, causing a slowdown and causing heat. But now, and now is variable depending on what sector of work you’re in. Friction describes the same thing, but it’s metaphorically for processes. And you know, I’m all about systems and processes. Intentional Friction in App Design Here’s an example. In the new app I created that allows you to get stuff done. When you add to-do items, you can actually swipe them forward into the future. So, if you swipe it to the right, it appears on tomorrow. There’s also an arrow that you can hit to go to the next day and the next day and the next day. So, if you want to place something, let’s say a week ahead of time, you actually have to hit that button seven times. Friction. And people could say, “Well, Mark, what if I want to push something 25 days into the future? I have to hit that button 25 times.” Correct. It’s friction by design. I want it to feel like you are putting it off all that time because if I didn’t do that, you could just type in a date or use a selector to grab a date and go there. It’s gone for a month and a half. Well, if you’re pushing something that far into the future, it should really be a calendar item. But if you’re pushing something into the future, it should feel like you’re pushing it into the future. In building this app, I learned a lot about intentional friction. I learned a lot about removing it, which is what I always try to do in any process I create. But I also learned about where it’s actually appropriate. My Typewriter: Friction to Prevent Failure I have a vintage Remington number 12 typewriter. I actually wrote my first story on it. And no, I’m not that old because it was created in the 20s and 30s. Every key is connected to a rather slender, thin piece of metal that has a little hammer at the end that matches the key that you hit. When you hit the key, it swings upward and hits the ink tape and creates the image onto the piece of paper. Now, on a piano, the keys do something similar. They have hammers that hit strings. On a piano, though, all those keys and hammers are parallel. You can hit as many keys as you want and they’ll all hit at the same time and not interact with each other. Not so for the typewriter. If you hit two keys at once, they will try to meet each other at the very top and they can get entangled. There’s an old tale about the design of the keyboard, which is the modern one we use today, being designed so that you would type slower. It actually was a designed to intentionally create a lot of friction and slowing you down. Well, so the truth is it’s not exactly like that. Yes, it does slow you down, but the reason being is they tried to separate certain keys so that you wouldn’t easily hit two of the keys that would smash into each other. Again, intentional friction. Identifying Unintentional vs. Intentional Friction One of the most exciting things for me is that when I’m introduced to a process, a system, whether it’s a person and how they conduct their life and try to get things done or an actual business and their systems in place is when I find unintentional friction. I find something in place that slows something down. They go down an avenue. They go instead of going ABC, they go A X Z B and then they come back to C and and we’re able to remove that and say no ABC. See, no more friction. But you have to respect the friction that’s in place because some of it’s intentional. Now, some of it works that it’s worked itself into it to be intentional. And you can look at a process and think, well, that’s inefficient. We’ll just do this. But if you remove the intentional friction, you can find that the system will actually break. Why Some Processes Need to Be Slow: Divorce & Marriage Let’s use another fun example. Oh, let’s say divorce. If someone wants to file for divorce, they don’t make a phone call. And then the people on the other end say, “Hey, thanks for calling. Why don’t you guys just pop down? We’ll take care of that.” The friction that’s in place typically is that you fill out a bunch of paperwork and then they place something on the calendar and they sort of hope that you don’t show up for it because if you don’t it gets removed from the calendar and the divorce isn’t even happening. That’s intentional friction to make it harder for people to just say, “Yeah, I don’t want to do this thing anymore that I said I would do forever.” I’m not in any way, shape, or form disparaging people who have gone through a divorce, but that is the system in place, and it does make some sense. And the same, of course, is true for marriage, for getting married. Now, granted, you can do drive-through marriages in Vegas and so forth, but that gets to something that I talked about in my podcast episode called become ceremonious. And when you have a ceremony attached to something, it slows it down and it makes it more important. It creates more friction. And again, your mind might be saying, “Well, that’s not a bad thing.” No, friction is not a bad thing. It’s a neutral thing. Just like the monsters and unicorns you may have learned about recently. As human beings, we have speeds. We slow down. We speed up. And again, there’s a podcast episode on the the speed of your life. And many times we talk about that. We say slow down, you know, take time to smell the roses and all that stuff, you know, apply some friction. Apply some friction, slow down and do that. Applying Friction to Relationships and Work One final example is the sword and the sunflower. It has a lot of friction in it. It It is a slow read. It’s a slow read because if you pay attention, you get a whole bunch of payoffs. When I wrote it, did I say, “Oh, I’m going to put some friction in here.” No, that was just the way it was written. Let’s talk about you. You may have some business processes in place or a way the reason or the way that you cook the way that you do. Or when you approach relationships with someone, you may introduce intentional friction to slow down the beginning of the relationship. So maybe you can savor it and enjoy it and make sure it’s the right thing for you to do. This may be applied directly also to new hires at your company where there’s a certain amount of friction to make sure they’re the right person for the job or even when introducing a new task, a skill, responsibility to someone in your workplace. There’s some friction involved in that. And you may be thinking right now, wait a second, there’s no friction at all. People are kind of like floundering. Maybe this is why people are floundering. We just sort of let them go with that. we don’t push back a little bit or apply friction. And you’ll find the paradox of like slowing something down in that way or applying friction can actually make it a better thing. And that’s one of the eye opening things of really discovering the friction in your life is when you discover the things that are slowing you down or in place intentionally. This intentional friction I mentioned and how what a wonderful thing it is. Taking Action: Evaluating Friction in Your Life So, as always, we raise your awareness about something and then we say, well, what are we going to do about it? And I would say the what are we going to do about it part is you should look at your life and look for intentional and unintentional friction. the way that you deal with your kids, the way that you prepare prepare meals, the way that you deal with your spouse or loved ones or friends, the the way that things are done in your workplace, the stuff you have control over, and the stuff you don’t have control over. And you may find that you are intentionally going around friction that you feel unnecessary in your workplace. No, I don’t fill that out. No, we just sort of skip that form. It would behoove you and give you a much more enjoyable life to remove the unintentional friction and respect the friction that’s in place. You may even find that, hey, there’s a place in my life where I need to put more friction. Now, if that sounds crazy, you could say, well, it’s way too easy for me to run to the refrigerator and grab that stuff that makes me not so thin. So, if there was friction between you and the refrigerator, friction between you and accessing that, then it would be harder for you to overeat or go off your diet. Actionable Homework with CheckMark™ If you’re using CheckMark™, my productivity app, you’ll find this episode listed under the episodes list on the dashboard. And here’s something really cool. You know, I mention homework in these episodes a lot where you pause it or what have you. I really hope that people think about them later and so forth, but I can’t exactly expect people to like whip out a notepad or what have you. Now, you don’t have to. If you go to the project library screen, you’ll find the this episode and all you have to do is click on it and hit start project and all the homework or things you need to think about from this episode will automatically be applied to your clipboard. Boom. Instant actionable episode notes. pretty cool stuff. So, thank you for listening as always and take care of yourself and I will see you again. This had been entered into the CheckMark projects list!

The beginner mindset makes you a better teacher—and it's fun too! Well, hey there. Welcome back… to everyone who is an old pro at this podcast and those who are just beginners because at some point you are a beginner and we tend to forget that don't we? In fact, there's a phenomenon I would […]

It sounds like I'm talking about the surface dwellers and we're all the people who live underground. Well, hey there. Welcome back. The Discomfort of Partial Knowledge You may have figured out by now that I like to know things and I like to learn things. And I've probably figured out by now that you're […]

Transcript I think I found the perfect question. Well, hey there. Welcome back. The Perfect Question I think I found the perfect question. No, really. I found a question I can ask almost anyone. It will elicit a genuine, honest, thoughtful response. It's a useful subject. It's something that they think about regardless of what […]

I had both the pleasure in honor of sitting down with Joseph Mallozzi, the Executive Producer and writer for Stargate SG1, Stargate Atlantis, Stargate Universe, and Dark Matter in which he is the show Runner (he literally runs the show).   

Have you ever noticed that when there's something you really, really love and really speaks to you that when you look at the backstory for it, the person that created it said that they "selfishly" just made it for them? Here's why selfishness, like the comfort zone, gets a bad rap it doesn't really deserve

The invisible barrier you must cross to switch modes and why it fools you into thinking it would take too much effort to complete a task. Transcript Revisiting Multitasking and the Energy of Switching Tasks Do you multitask? Wait, we we already covered this. In a previous episode, we talked about how energy is really […] The post The invisible Barrier first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

What's your learning style? Do you know what your learning style is? Did you know you have one? For a long time I have known about the diferent ways humans learn. People not only have aptitudes (someone is good with mechanical stuff, or math, etc.) but also differ in the way they learn. Same resulting […] The post Learning styles and learning right in front of someone first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

Transcript What is Apathy? The Answer Might Surprise You Well, hey there. Welcome back. What's this episode about? Who cares? So, many years ago, I was with a few of my friends and one of my friends said, “What's apathy?” And my other friend said, “Who cares?” And it took a little while to realize […] The post What's Apathy? Who cares. first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

Are You Truly Available? The Critical Difference Between Time and Energy I'm going to ask you a simple question: Are you available right now? Of course, you're listening to this, so your immediate answer is “yes.” But are you? For years, I've talked about the constant negotiation between our time, energy, and resources. Today, I […] The post The Availability Gap: Why Your Energy Matters More Than Your Time first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

The CEO Mindset: Why a Fast Decision Beats a Slow Promise In the world of productivity and time management, we're often told to optimize our calendars and to-do lists. But what if the single most effective habit of top performers isn't about complex systems, but about one simple principle? A fast “no” is always better […] The post A fast “no” is always better than a time-wasting “yes.” first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

I find it quite illuminating to speak with people from all over the world. The power of our technology and interconnected world is that it allows me to have conversations I could never have. I had the pleasure of chatting with Jamyang in this week's podcast. Jamyang Loden Jamyang Loden is a monk from Bhutan, […] The post Mindfulness from Bhutan – my chat with a monk named Jamyang. first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

We deal with decisions every day. Many of the episodes deal with the decision process on both a grand and low level. Three Voices deals with how we communicate these decisions, work through them, talk to both ourselves and others about them. Going with your gut—the universal advice–is telling you to listen to your first […] The post The unnerving power of no first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

The Enduring Metaphor of Angels and Devils The metaphorical representation of a devil and an angel on a person's shoulders dates back to the 16th century1. Throughout the 17th and 18th centuries, this concept was prominently featured in plays and allegorical art. By the early 1900s, it had found its way into cartoons as a […] The post When the Devil Sounds Like a Unicorn first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

A primer on the book BeCAUSE! For those that have yet to read my new book because. Here's a quick primer. One day, I asked myself a question. If you could have anything you wanted, wouldn't you? We already know how to do most things and if we don't, we can Google them or talk […] The post Waking up to a Monster. Are you in Survival Mode? first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

I've done two podcast episodes on large language models. I recently spun up and installed a large language model locally on my computer and built a project around it. I'm an avid user of echoes from Amazon. I have had Grammarly kick in to spellcheck for me. I tell my phone to add an appointment […] The post A Dire Warning: the MIT study and ChatGPT first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

Helpful episodes Every year I create a list of the top, most useful and helpful episodes of the previous year. This year because there has been a lot of interaction on current episodes. I've decided to do a midyear pause and reflect if you will. Here are the top episodes in 2025 so far Manuel […] The post What episodes are notable in 2025 so far? first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

Speaking to the manager I want to speak to the manager. Rather, I want to speak to your manager. What do you think of when I say that? Do you think of the structure of your current employer? Do you make a joke that it's your cat? Is there a spouse joke in there for […] The post Hypnosis and speaking to your manager. first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

A philosophical question for you. Don't forget you can pause the episode to consider the question(s) as you move forward. How would you answer? Alchemy for Life™ podcast explores themes of experimental psychology, relationships, cognitive science, human behavior, mental models, consciousness, and psychological insights. We uncover hidden truths and ways to improve your life and […] The post Good or Evil? first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

Let's talk about non-local consciousness, who you're really talking to when you're on the phone, what happens to me and possibly you when something is put on the back burner, and wish a Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers in the United States, Brazil, Germany, India, China and Japan. The post Non-Local Consciousness first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

Getting energy and giving energy One of the things I've said from the very beginning is that a thing can give one person energy and take energy from another. in other words, one person's activity that energizes them could also really be draining for another. But that giving of energy is also taking energy. Nobody […] The post Meaningful Exhaustion and the energy transfer first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

The normal format for this show is to introduce you to something and raise your perception. Then we discuss it and you typically leave with homework. This time you are giving me homework. Let's talk about the importance of feedback and how each and every one of us has a struggle. What's yours? The post Question Mark – Oh how the tables have turned first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

We all know what it is. We have all done it. We've all had it done to us. Let's talk about when it's appropriate when it's not, and why it can be so frustrating. The post The Anatomy of Ghosting first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

Time is money You've heard that phrase and it is often accompanied by someone clapping, tapping their foot, or some other show of impatience. Chop chop, time is money. In our world of Time, Energy and Resources as separate entities, they are saying time is resources, aren't they? But it's actually more accurate to same […] The post Time is sometimes money but is always Energy first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

Fair & Square Here are the rules of the square and triangle universe. There are other rules but these are the most obvious. Listen to the podcast and tell me what you would do as a square. I'm looking for an answer… So what would you do? Are you a Square or a Triangle? The post The amazing, frustrating, daunting world of squares and triangles first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

A while back we talked about the importance of a catalog and your awareness of that. By revisiting that we are demonstrating (in a rather meta way) the importance of revisiting it. And let's add how that affects your facets too. Catalog A catalog covers anything and everything you do. This then gets distilled down […] The post Your Catalog and Your Facets first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

I like to apply analogical reasoning, You can call it conceptual metaphors. And if both of those are confusing, how about applying the concept of one domain to another. Still confused? For example, we talked about liminal spaces which don't look or sound right. But you can then take that into the emotional domain and […] The post Intellectual Injury—what the heck is that? first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

You are living in an era that is coming to an end. There was a time when all pictures were in black-and-white because that was the technology we had. Most people were fit, and men typically wore suits even at baseball games. Then pictures, had color, but it was of a not true to life […] The post Old Photos and Robots first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

I have a new book coming out. it's my 10th, and it's based on my take on the pleasure principle and what I believe is a layer just above it. It's what allows us to accomplish things that others do not. It's what prevents us from doing things that we think we should be able […] The post The pleasure principle and a new book first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

(and how it might help you tell your own story) Telling a story in an unfamiliar medium with constraints you're not accustomed to is a common theme in business. You may be the best story teller in your circle/medium/genre but if you need to tell your story outside of that it can be a challenge, […] The post What I learned writing a screenplay first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

Q&A and the answer (That's so meta) Have you ever helped a friend who has a question or a conundrum, and the answer was so obvious to you that you easily spelled it out for them? You felt pretty smart. You noticed at some point that when you've had issues you turn to others for […] The post Teacher, Teach Thyself first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

A tale of disconnected happiness or Benign Violation Theory. Allow me to tell you a tale of disconnected happiness. Perhaps you can relate? Helpful related (or referenced) episodes: Have something to say? Come talk about it on Patreon. The post Do you experience Disconnected Happiness? first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

Modes What mode are you in right now? You may intuitively know exactly what I'm talking about. Ever interrupt a conversation and the person changes their conversation style/demeanor? That's an example of someone switching modes. Are modes just putting a mask on, or being disingenuous? No, like so many things in experimental psychology, I look […] The post Dramaturgy, Role Theory and Modes first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

Meet Manuel Rendon, certified polymer science inventor and CEO of Timeplast, Inc. My first interview episode of 2025. Manuel joins the ranks of Scott Adams, the late John McAfee and others. 4d matter In the world of plastics, everything pretty much repels water. But what if you could create a plastic that truly dissolves in […] The post Manuel Rendon of Timeplast and 4d programmable matter first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

Welcome to 2025. As with last year, we are selecting the most helpful and useful episodes of the previous year. Of course I feel that all of the episodes are useful and helpful. Each one has a use, a point, and a tangible takeaway. Each one is a unique perspective on something you're familiar with […] The post Most useful and helpful episodes of 2024! first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

Resolutions—what works and what doesn't and why. It's really important that you don't repeat the same things that didn't work last time. You want to make this time to be different. Levels As we mentioned in the Labels episode, we like to label things because it's a shortcut. And that can make you dumber or […] The post Resolutions—what works and what doesn't first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

This is a separate article that goes with this podcast episode. it is not a transcript but rather an alternate summary of what the episode is about. NOTE: Depression, and worse (the meaning of “throwing away the container”) is a delicate subject. The truth is that all mental health is a delicate subject, as is […] The post Depression and throwing away the container first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

Guess who has this one?

Social Media and You If you're on social media, whether it's the Boomers Gone Wild of Facebook, the Graphic (in many ways) Instagram, the Millennial-Controlled Tiktok or the ‘business-oriented' Linkedin, you will see the kind of posts I'm about to talk about. Drawing a line in the sand… in your face Some people post things […] The post The Silence of Success first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

Exotic Cars When people purchase exotic cars, they are sometimes hit with something called deferred maintenance. As with many car buyers, they see the value of purchasing a car used. The positive of that is that they get a car they want at a dramatically reduced price. The downside is sometimes that they hadn't considered […] The post Deferred Gratitude and Exotic Cars first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

A new formula Here's an interesting concept for you, just when you thought you understood that life is made of three things: Time, Energy and Resources. But after ll, this is alchemy. Time, Energy and Resources Alchemy for Life™ has always been about life being three things. And we spend those three things on five […] The post Time and energy = space first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

What is Positivity? You may think that ‘positivity' doesn't belong with such states of being as OCD, Anxiety, ADHD and the others featured in this 13-part series, but I think it does because it is markedly different than the average person. Positivity isn't just being nice. Positivity isn't being positive blindly. It is a state […] The post Is Positivity just oblivious contentment? first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

Forced Emergency Responders and “Love Bombing.” Emergency Responders and the 2:00am call for a wooden spoon When we think of emergency responders, we think of paramedics and ambulances and firefighters and police. If you make widgets, no one is going to call you at three in the morning to tell you they desperately need a […] The post Forced to be an Emergency Responder and Love Bombing first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

What is OCD? Do I have OCD? OCD stands for obsessive-compulsive disorder. It shares a symptom with ADHD in which you can be caught in a repetitive loop because of anxiety and stimulus.  But it is different than ADHD. The reality of OCD  The reality of OCD often involves constant, intrusive thoughts and the need […] The post What is OCD? Do I have OCD? The Reality of coping with OCD. first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

Toddlers with chainsaws Are chainsaws bad? No. Should toddlers use them? No. We use chainsaws to perform a task, we don't give them to toddlers because it is dangerous to do so and the toddlers don't understand the balance of danger and functionality. Airbags, insurance and fire extinguishers, oh my! Does your car have airbags? […] The post Don't speak that into existence! first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

ADHD – Also known as Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. What is ADHD? Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. People with ADHD typically struggle with finding it difficult to focus. They are easily distracted in pursuit of stimulus. Sometimes the stimulus leads them to hyper-focus.  The reality of ADHD  The reality for many people is that ADHD is […] The post Psych Charm: ADHD first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

Anxiety – The feeling of stress, the activation of a fight-or-flight mode. Anxiety for some can be a fairly dull but constant sensation of having to attend to a problem—a nagging feeling that you need to take care of something. This can be from the demands of your job, your responsibilities as a parent, a […] The post Psych Charm: Anxiety first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

Gamification, Iconization and Tangibility Those are some crazy words. They're fun and I like saying them. But what do they mean? My history I have always enjoyed looking at things as a system. It was only relatively recently that I realized that was what I was doing. it was so natural and innate that I […] The post Gamification, Iconization and Tangibility. first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

Are you creative? No matter what your job, career or calling is, no matter what hobbies you have or do not, you have creativity. What if we treat it as a separate skill? What happens then? You'll be amazed. Join our free community at patreon to talk about it. The post Creativity as a skill first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

“I see systems” This is something I have said for a very long time. Once I learned that this was one of my core directives it all made sense. But what does that mean, and how can that help you? Let's talk about the systems in your life. If you don't see the system you […] The post If you don't see the system… first appeared on Alchemy For Life.