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Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for March 30, 2025 is: untoward • un-TOH-erd • adjective Untoward is a formal word that describes something that is improper or inappropriate, or that is adverse or unfavorable. // The medication is safe and effective, with no known untoward side effects. // The investigation found that nothing untoward had happened at the event. See the entry > Examples: “You might be thinking that the best course of action would be to make sure that any such generative AI is completely unable to spew out any kind of untoward content. Just do whatever ... AI trickery is needed to ensure that the good stuff is emitted and the bad stuff is kept under lock and key. ... The rub is that trying to simultaneously have generative AI that appears to be fluent and capable in composing natural language and yet also can refrain from emitting the bad stuff is a lot harder of a problem than you might assume.” — Lance Eliot, Forbes, 1 May 2023 Did you know? For centuries, the adjective toward described “forward-moving” youngsters, the kind who showed promise and were open to listening to their elders. The adjective then came to mean amiable or obliging. The opposite of this now-obsolete sense of toward is froward, meaning “disobedient.” Froward has fallen out of common use, but thankfully another toward antonym, untoward, obliged in picking up the slack. In addition to describing people or things that are “difficult to guide, manage, or work with,” untoward today is applied to that which is unfavorable or adverse, as well as to things that are inappropriate or in bad taste.

Episode 965 (12:10) In this episode: Gnostic struggles as a youth; What is Gnosticism? Examples: You may be a Gnostic if you define religion by your feelings or think almost everything is a conspiracy; Remedy? Trust in Jesus He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life Related article: https://media.benedictine.edu/francis-says-you-may-be-a-gnostic-if Image: A modern colorization of the “Flammarion Engraving,” an unknown artist's allegorical depiction of the quest for knowledge. Related Web Sites:  My Website Podcast PageAll Previous Episodes

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for January 27, 2025 is: edify • ED-uh-fye • verb To edify someone is to teach them in a way that improves their mind or character. // The commencement speaker hoped that her words would edify the graduates, and give them hope and encouragement. See the entry > Examples: "You might be tempted to think that Emerson advocates abandoning all admiration of others. He does not; he simply argues for hardheaded discrimination between what is good and true, and everything else. 'If you are noble, I will love you,' he writes, but 'if you are not, I will not hurt you and myself by hypocritical attentions.' In other words, admire noble, good people, and give your attention only to what edifies and uplifts you." — Arthur C. Brooks, The Atlantic, 20 June 2024 Did you know? When you edify someone, you're helping them build character. This figurative "building" is key to understanding the history of edify. This word is an evolution of the Latin verb aedificare, originally meaning "to erect a house" and later (in Late Latin) "to instruct or improve spiritually." (The word edifice, which usually refers to a building and especially to a large or massive structure, comes from the same root.) Aedificare, in turn, is based on aedes, the Latin word for "temple." Edify shares the spiritual meaning of its Late Latin root, but it is also used in general contexts to refer to the act of instructing in a way that improves the mind or character overall.

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for December 11, 2024 is: sublimate • SUB-luh-mayt • verb To sublimate something—such as an impulse, desire, or feeling—is to express it in a changed form that is socially acceptable. Sublimate can also mean "to pass directly from the solid to the vapor state." // Nora later came to understand that she had used painting to sublimate her anger. See the entry > Examples: "You might think that because I am arguing that the happiest path is one in which we sublimate our true feelings and desires through greater self-control, I am advocating in effect for inauthenticity. But that's not my intention; rather, I am arguing for authentic self-improvement." — Arthur C. Brookes, The Atlantic, 2 May 2024 Did you know? To sublimate is to change the form, but not the essence. Physically speaking, a solid is said to sublimate when it transforms into a gas without first becoming liquid—a prime example being frozen carbon dioxide (dry ice) vaporizing at room temperature. To sublimate psychologically is to change the outlet, or means, of one's expression of desires and feelings from something unacceptable to something more culturally or socially acceptable. A person might sublimate feelings of grief following a disaster, for example, by devoting their time and energy to relief efforts. The word sublimate comes from the Latin verb sublimare, meaning "to elevate"; sublimare is also the ancestor of sublime. Sublimate itself once meant "to elevate to a place of dignity or honor" or "to give a more elevated character to," but these meanings are now obsolete.

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for September 1, 2024 is: skirl • SKERL • verb Skirl means "to play the bagpipes" when the subject of the sentence is a person, as in "the piper skirled." When bagpipes are the subject (as in "the bagpipes skirled"), skirl means "to emit the high shrill tone of the chanter," with chanter referring to the reed pipe on which the bagpipe's melody is played. // The attention of the parade-goers was fully captured the instant the bagpipers began skirling. See the entry > Examples: "You always hear Ryan Randall before you see him. Known among downtown office workers, tour guides, and street vendors for his marathon bagpipe performances that cut through the city streets and up to office tower boardrooms, Randall has become something of an icon downtown. … That afternoon, Randall skirled for a little more than an hour, blaring a continuous stream of live music and pre-recorded accompaniment from a portable speaker." — Daniel Kool, The Boston Globe, 22 Aug. 2023 Did you know? Not many musical instruments are honored with their very own verb. But then, not many musical instruments emit a sound quite like that of a bagpipe. Depending on your ear, you might think bagpipes "give forth music," or you might be more apt to say they "shriek." If you are of the latter opinion, your thinking aligns with the earliest sense of skirl—"to shriek" —used of screeching winds, wee bairns, and the like. Scottish poet Robert Sempill first used it for bagpipes in the mid-1600s. The meaning of skirl has shifted over time, however, and these days you can use the verb without causing offense to bagpipers or bagpipe enthusiasts.

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for April 30, 2024 is: demagogue • DEM-uh-gahg • noun A demagogue is a political leader who tries to get support by making use of popular prejudices, as well as by making false claims and promises and using arguments based on emotion rather than reason. // His opponent called him a bigoted demagogue for demonizing those who don't intend to vote for him. See the entry > Examples: “You need an internal guidance system for making decisions. Without one, your choices become heavily influenced by external forces such as peers, television, and demagogues.” — Tom Muha, The Capital (Annapolis, Maryland), 2 Oct. 2021 Did you know? When the ancient Greeks used dēmagōgós (from dêmos, meaning “people,” and -agōgos, “leading”) they meant someone good—a leader who used outstanding oratorical skills to further the interests of the common people. The first known use of demagogue in English comes from the introduction to Thomas Hobbes's 1629 translation of a text by the ancient Greek historian Thucydides: “It need not be doubted, but from such a master Thucydides was sufficiently qualified, to have become a great demagogue, and of great authority with the people.” Alas, the word quickly took a negative turn; within decades it was being used to refer to someone who uses powers of persuasion to sway and mislead.

Hello hello! And welcome to the And She Rises — the F*ck Up — the podcast! We are so over-the-moon that you are here. We have something special for you today. As you may know, my signature program, Money Mentality Makeover, comes with over sixteen hours of bonus content. Many people's favorite bonus is the five-part Elevate into Overflow videos. Enrollment opens to the public for MMM very, very soon. If you are on the MMM waitlist, be sure to check your email as I've already written you with the details for the presale. If you are not on my email list, but want to know the moment MMM opens, I'd encourage you to get on my email list. (The easiest way to do that is to grab the free Wealthy Woman Meditation Series) To learn more about MMM + check out raving reviews from those who have worked the course and had it work for them: https://amandafrances.com/money Financial OVERFLOW: Four Principles to Unlock Massive Abundance 1. Choose new beliefs. Manifesting money can feel really hard when we are holding beliefs that are not in support of us having abundance. Experiences we've had, things we've been taught, beliefs that run the show in our families — can all be in opposition of us creating abundance. Examples: You are bad with money. Money is the root of all evil. You are not worthy. These ideas are not the ultimate truth for you. You can shift them. Try on these beliefs instead: Money comes naturally and easily to me. My work is of high service and worthy of massive compensation. Spending money is safe. Don't those feel better? It's time to align our feelings, thoughts, and beliefs with abundance. 2. Money is responding to you. Money doesn't have an opinion about you. Money is not approving or disapproving of you. Money is simply responding to you and your energetic state regarding money. So, if money is responding to our thoughts, feelings, emotions, and beliefs then you, my friend, have more power than you thought you did. Think of it this way: Everything that occurs is just feedback. Everything that occurs lets you know the thoughts, feelings and energy you've been playing in in regards to money. When you find yourself in a less than idea situation regarding money — take it as feedback. Ask yourself: Where in me was I not comfortable receiving money? Where in me was I afraid of letting things be this good? As a business owner, what in me was I not confident about my services? 3. You can't f* it up. Many years ago I acted as though trumpets were supposed to sound, or God was supposed to get out a microphone, and tell me what I was supposed to do. This made making decisions feel… scary. Every decision felt like a big, complicated thing that I could majorly f* up. My friend once said to me: God's Will is not so fragile that you can drop it and break it. Meaning, it's safe to try things out. It's safe to make mistakes. It's safe to live. The pressure is largely self imposed. The pressure is simply our doubt and our fear holding us back and making us feel stuck and paralyzed by decisions. When we believe that one wrong decision could cause some sort of massive chaos upon us, it makes it impossible to follow our hearts and to do the d*mn thing, right? Remember: You. Cannot. F*. It. Up. 4. The energy of more than enough. How would you feel if you fully and completely had more than enough? Feel into the feelings of: There is so much, I can buy all the things. There is so much, I have everything I need all the time. There is so much, I have to give some away. Feel it: MORE THAN ENOUGH. When it comes to calling more money, I know this: We can manifest anything we can get behind, anything we believe is possible — or better yet, inevitable — for us. Play with the numbers. What amount can you truly and fully get behind? Don't worry about the specifics or the “how” — just know that it's yours. Like a cup that overflows: You believe, and you know, and you hold the feeling, and every moment of faith, belief, and expectation adds up — and eventually you see the overflow in your physical reality. Amen? Amen. If you enjoyed this podcast, please leave a review and share it on your favorite social media outlet. Comments? Concerns? Qs about MMM? We are here. Just reach out. The best way to contact us: support@amandafrances.com. All the love, Amanda + Team AF

Tiffanie and Christy discuss parenting guilt- something everyone experiences in some way shape and form.  What is it, why does it happen, and what can we do about it?  Action step: Practice a reframe of the story of what you may be feeling guilty about.   (Examples: You're feeling guilty because you walked away when your kid was yelling or crying. Reframe: I was overwhelmed and gave myself a moment so I could be ready to help. Example: I stayed at work too long talking to a co-worker.  Reframe: I connected with a friend after work, so I could come home a little less stressed from the work day.)    Build your support system: Who can you connect and reach out to?  Want to learn more about the EPIC process for conflict and connection?Check out our mini course Stress Less!  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theEPICcompany Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_epic_co/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@the-epic-company TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@the_epic_co Website: https://theepicco.com/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/your-epic-life/message

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for January 18, 2024 is: axiomatic • ak-see-uh-MAT-ik • adjective Axiomatic is a formal adjective that describes something—usually a statement—that is understood as obviously true, such that it is or should be taken for granted. // It is axiomatic that successful athletes are not just talented, but have put in years of dedicated training. See the entry > Examples: “‘You're better off' is a hard pill when you're grieving a breakup. But it's axiomatic: Someone who doesn't want you as-is isn't the person you want.” — Carolyn Hax, The Washington Post, 24 Feb. 2023 Did you know? An axiom is a principle widely accepted for its intrinsic merit, or one regarded as self-evidently true. A statement that is axiomatic, therefore, is one against which few people would argue. Axiomatic entered English from the New Latin word axiōmaticus, and like axiom, it comes ultimately from the Greek word axíōma, meaning (among other things) “that which is reasonable (though not demonstrated to be true).” The word axiom can also refer to a statement accepted as true specifically as the basis for an argument or inference. An example would be: “Nothing can both be and not be at the same time and in the same respect.” Such axioms are often employed in philosophy, as well as in mathematics and geometry, where they are sometimes called postulates.

Take a quick pause on what you're doing right now to fully think about this question… what conversation should you have that you haven't had yet?   What difficult conversation have you been avoiding? What should you tell someone that feels so hard but would relieve pressure or stress by doing it?    Often times we sacrifice what we really want OR we assume someone feels a certain way about something OR we don't want to have to deal with a conflict or disappointing or upsetting someone… so we don't have it.  Sometimes for weeks or months and sometimes for yearssss.   It becomes normal not to actually have the hard conversation that would make something better.  Today is the wake up day on this - we are unpacking hard conversations.    We're pulling wisdom from lots of people who have studied this topic today.    Starting with business strategist, Alex Hermozi. He said, “the life you want is in the other side of a few hard conversation and you're living a life you hate because you're too afraid to have them.”   He says…  Whenever I feel anxious or insecure or sad  Im like-  What conversation do I need to have that im not having?   Usually if you think for not that long  You'll know - this is the conversation ive been putting off.    And then, just have it.  The time between when you know you need to have it and the time when you actually have it gets shorter and shorter.   You dread it but after you do it - you're like how many more of these can I have?!   It's like the freedom of it makes you crave more.    WHY have these talks? 1. Your stress can literally kill you.  It's not worth carrying this with you.  2. You will be 90 one day.  We can't numb life and avoid these things.  The regret at 90 would be worse than the pain of having it now.      It might be horrible during.    But when you think about being 90 years old - you have the courage.    And whatever their reaction is - it's like - I'm doing what I need to do and what I will regret least.    For relationships - sometimes things just keep going the way they've been and maybe you need to uncover something that happened that affects the entire relationship.    Often times you dread it - but maybe you were both assuming things - and it wasn't accurate.    Your only regret will be not doing it sooner.    The pain of having these conversation is nothing compared to the gain that you get afterwards.    You need something to give you the springboard to do it - for me it's the thinking of being 90 - and not having the same oppotunries that I do now.   And we do not want regret at age 90. So let's have those really hard conversations now.    Examples:    You don't quit the job because you love who you work for - but no growth is there.    You're deeply hurt by what a family member did but you just sit with it and let it grow.    You don't talk to a friend because another friend had a dispute with them - so you've been loyal but it doesn't make sense anymore and you want that friend back.    Your husband is consistently inconsiderate in a certain way and you just accept that that is how he is - but maybe you need to have the hard conversation!    Maybe you have a bad friend that you need to break up with?      You have these rapid periods of growth that happen because once you do it - you have courage to do the next one.  Maybe you break up with someone that you know you need to.    It SUCKS during and after but when you expand the time horizon, you're like man I feel F-ing fantastic!!  Who else do I need to talk to?    I hope this episode makes you really ask the question - what conversation do I need to have that I'm not having?    CHEERS to embracing the uncomfortable and having the hard conversation as soon as possible!

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for September 7, 2023 is: disingenuous • dis-in-JEN-yuh-wuss • adjective Disingenuous is a formal word that describes things, such as speech or behavior, that give a false appearance of being honest or sincere. Similarly, a person who is being disingenuous may seem sincere, but is in fact only pretending to be open and candid. // Her recent expressions of concern about the community center closing are disingenuous at best because she stands to benefit financially when the property is redeveloped. See the entry > Examples: “You know those one-line reviews on Amazon listings that don't quite seem legitimate? Like the ones that rate a product five stars and say something incredibly vague, like “This is such a great item,” without expanding on any specifics? Well, that's just one type of fake feedback that the FTC wants to crack down on. The FTC's proposed rule seeks to ban several different types of disingenuous reviews and would not just punish the companies that use them but also the brokers that falsify feedback.” — Emma Roth, TheVerge.com, 30 June 2023 Did you know? To be disingenuous is to feign sincerity—to pretend you are speaking genuinely and honestly while concealing an ulterior motive. Similarly, a disingenuous remark might contain a hint of truth, but it is delivered with the intent to deceive or to serve some hidden purpose. While not currently defined in our dictionary, the internet term sealioning might also shed some light on the meaning of disingenuous, especially if you've ever been dragged into an online argument with a stranger whose true purpose is to exhaust you and erode your goodwill. As media critic Anita Sarkeesian wrote for Marie Claire magazine, “Sealioning is when an uninvited stranger pops into your conversation and peppers you with unsolicited and insincere questions. The sealion politely demands evidence for even the most mundane or self-evident statements and insists that you justify your opinions until he's satisfied—which he never is, since he's asking questions in bad faith.” In other words: textbook disingenuous behavior.

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for July 1, 2023 is: whimsical • WIM-zih-kul • adjective Something described as whimsical is unusual in a playful or amusing way. // Her younger sister's whimsical sense of humor often leaves her friends giggling at the lunch table, as when she built a castle out of her mashed potatoes, complete with a moat. See the entry > Examples: “You match with an attractive person on a dating app and exchange a few messages. Then, without warning, a dizzying daydream pops in your head. Walks on the beach together, picnic lunches, moonlit city strolls, all leading up to a whimsical wedding fantasy.” — David Oliver, USA Today, 24 May 2023 Did you know? Even the origin of whimsical is whimsical: its ultimate source (by way of the noun whimsy) is the now-obscure whim-wham, a noun from the early 16th century that first referred to an ornamental object or trinket, and later to an eccentric impulse or interest—that is, to what in modern terms can be called a whim. The origin of whim-wham isn't clear, but it's among a class of words known as reduplications, words that are formed by repeating a word, as in go-go, or by adding to a word one that sounds very similar to it, as in dillydally. (In the case of whim-wham, the original duplicated term has been lost to time.) While whimsical first described those who tend toward whimsy, it now commonly describes things that are unusual in a playful or amusing way, as in “charmed by the book's whimsical illustrations.”

主播：Selah | 翩翩 歌曲 ： We'll Be the Stars今天，要来给大家普及一下在英语世界，年轻人中非常流行的slang（俚语）。1. 学习一门语言，一定要学习当下的slang 。为什么呢？(1) Communication（交流）: Slang is often used in casual conversation（一般在非正式场合会大量使用）。如果你are not familiar with the slang they are using（不熟悉他们使用的俚语），那么it can be difficult to fully understand what someone is saying（可能很难完全理解他们在说什么）。(2) Culture （文化）：Slang代表了一个文化中，当下的一种pop culture （流行文化）。Slang is often used in popular culture, such as in music lyrics or movies. 俚语在流行文化中经常被使用，听歌、看电影都会碰到。(3) Inclusion（文化包容）：你懂了他们说的俚语，那么it can help you feel more included and connected to others who share that culture or identity（它可以让你感觉更被这个文化包容，和这种文化里的人的联系更紧密）。2. What is slang？什么是俚语？l Slang refers to informal language that is typically used by a particular group of people or subculture. 通常是由特定群体或亚文化使用的非正式语言。l It often consists of words or phrases that are not recognized as standard language它通常由不标准的单词或短语组成。l It may have different meanings than their literal definitions.它可能有不同于字面意思的含义。汉语中也有slang，比如狗血、老铁、套路、靠谱、666、吃瓜群众……当你能够熟练地应用这些俚语的时候，对方才会觉得，“哇，你是自己人。我说什么你都会听懂。”3. Gen-Z指什么？Gen Z generally refers to individuals who were born between the mid-1990s and the mid-2010s西方95后到2010年间出生的人，被称作Gen Z。西方社会，对这一批年轻孩子，有固定的stereotype（标签），比如：• Mobile dependency 移动依赖：这一代人常用手机• Social media addiction 社交媒体成瘾：常使社交媒体，如 Instagram、TikTok、Snapchat等• Short attention span注意力短暂：短平快的模式，让这一代人更难以保持注意力• Support for social justice支持社会正义：这一代人可能更关注社会问题，如气候变化、种族平等、性别平等等• Advocacy for self-expression倡导自我表达：这一代人强调自由、开放、自我表达和多样性总之，Gen-Z非常有个性。4. Gen-Z Slang西方年轻一代最流行的俚语(1) Yeet - to throw or discard something with force, enthusiasm or excitement (用力、兴奋地扔掉或抛弃某物).【Example】"I'm gonna yeet this old phone and get a new one, it's about time!"我要把这个旧手机 yeet （扔掉）掉，换一个新的，是时候了！但要注意，如果你不是Gen-Z或者native speaker，“yeet”这个slang最好还是不要用，因为别人可能理解不了你的意思。(2) Mood - a word used to express agreement or relatability, often used as "big mood" (用于表示赞同或感同身受的词语，通常以 "big mood" 的形式使用).【Examples】• "Big mood, I could really go for some pizza right now.”• "Big mood, I can't believe it's Monday already.”• "When your favorite song comes on the radio, that's a big mood.”• "Watching a movie in your pajamas on a rainy day is a big mood."(3) Salty - upset or annoyed, often used to describe someone who is being rude or bitter (用于形容某人的举止粗鲁或带有怨恨).【Example】"Why are you so salty today? Did something happen?” 你今天怎么这么 salty？是发生了什么事吗?(4) Flex - to show off or boast about something (炫耀或吹嘘某事物), often used in the context of material possessions or achievements (通常在描述物质财富或成就时使用).【Example】"I'm gonna flex my new car on Instagram, it's so shiny and cool!” 我要在Instagram 上flex（炫一下）我的新车，它很闪亮和酷炫！(5) Stan - an obsessive fan of a particular celebrity or fandom (是对某位名人或者偶像过度狂热的粉丝 ，狂热粉).【Example】"I'm a huge Ariana Grande stan, I've been to all her concerts!” 我是Ariana Grande的狂热粉，去过她的所有演唱会！(6) GOAT - an acronym for "Greatest Of All Time" (“史上最伟大”的首字母缩写)【Example】"Serena Williams is the GOAT of tennis, no doubt about it.” Serena Williams是网球界的GOAT，毫无疑问。(7) Bop - a catchy song or tune (一首很catchy很抓人的歌曲或曲调)【Example】"This song is such a bop, I can't stop dancing to it!”这首歌太好听了，我一听就跳舞，停不下来！(8) FOMO - an acronym for "Fear Of Missing Out” ( “错过恐惧症”的首字母缩写)【Example】"I can't miss this party, I have serious FOMO.” 我不能错过这个派对，我很害怕会错过什么重要的事情。(9) Basic - used to describe someone or something that's unoriginal or boring (描述某人或某事缺乏创意或乏味).【Example】"That outfit is so basic, everyone wears the same thing.” 那套衣服太普通了，每个人都穿一样的。(10) Slay - to do something exceptionally well or with style, often used in the context of fashion or beauty (就是杀疯了，形容做某事非常出色或有风格，通常用于时尚或美容领域).【Examples】"You totally slayed that makeup look, you should start a beauty channel!” 你的妆容真的很棒，你应该开个美妆频道！• “She is slaying!” 她太棒了！(11) Tea -gossip or juicy information (八卦或有趣的信息)【Example】"Have you heard the tea about what happened at the party last night?” 你听说昨晚派对上发生的八卦了吗？(12) Clout -influence or fame, often gained through social media (影响力或名气，通常是通过社交媒体获得的)【Example】"She gained so much clout after her Tik Tok went viral.” 她的Tik Tok视频走红后，获得了很多影响力。(13) Savage -used to describe someone who is tough, fearless or unapologetically themselves (用来描述一个人很强硬、勇敢或是毫不掩饰自我)【Example】"She's so savage, she won't take any nonsense from anyone.” 她真的很强悍，不会容忍任何人的胡言乱语。(14) IRL - an acronym for "In Real Life” (“在现实生活中”的首字母缩写)【Examples】• "It was great meeting you IRL, let's hang out again soon!” 很高兴能在现实生活中见到你，让我们很快再见面吧！• "I've been following your blog for ages, it's great to finally meet you IRL!”我关注你的博客已经很久了，很高兴终于见到你了!• "Her pictures on Instagram look amazing, but I wonder if she's really that stunning IRL.”她在Instagram上的照片看起来很棒，但我想知道她是不是真的那么漂亮。大家可以尝试用我们的俚语来翻译这些英文俚语，请留言告诉我们你的翻译。

Transcript: Every January is the same. Everyone wants to improve their lifestyle. So, let's continue learning some new year expressions in English. Let's start! #1 Today is the first day of the rest of your life. People often use this phrase to express that every day is an opportunity to start over and make the most of life. It encourages people to make the most of each day and appreciate the present moment. Examples: "Don't look back; look forward! Today is the first day of the rest of your life. " "Regardless of what happened yesterday, you can always start anew today. Remember, Today is the first day of the rest of your life!" #2 To give it my best shot. Giving your best means doing the best you can in a given situation. It implies that you will try your best and strive your best to achieve success. Examples: "I'll give my best shot to get through this job interview and show them why I'm the perfect candidate." "Next month, I will run my first marathon and give my best shot." #3 To tighten [one's] belt. To forget previous debts or mistakes and be given a new chance to succeed. Examples: "You must tighten your belt this month if you want to stay on budget." "I'm trying to save money, so I will have to tighten my belt and cut back on unnecessary spending." #4 to bury the hatchet. To bury the hatchet means to forgive and forget past differences, usually between two people, and end a disagreement. Examples: "After weeks of disagreement, the team decided to bury the hatchet and work together as one." "After months of arguing, we finally decided to bury the hatchet and make amends." #5 To shake things up a bit. It means to do something different or unexpected to change the situation. It can be used when you want to try something new or exciting or to make a change. Examples: "We've been using the same methods for years; it's time to shake things up a bit and try something new." "Let's shake things up a bit and take a different approach to this project." #6 To mend your ways. We use this expression to encourage people to change their behavior or habits to become better. It is a way of prompting someone to take responsibility for their actions and strive to make positive changes in their life. Examples: "If you want to turn your life around, you must mend your ways." "You must take steps to mend your ways if you want to improve." #7 To go cold turkey. To go cold turkey is to abruptly stop an addictive behavior or substance, such as smoking or drinking alcohol. Examples: "After years of smoking, Tom decided to go cold turkey and quit entirely." "The best way to give up sugar is to go cold turkey and cut it out of your diet completely."   Get the transcript of this episode at: SpeakEnglishPodcast.com/podcast

"Sexual manipulation tactics Sexual manipulation tactics can be verbal or behavioral. Manipulators might use one or more of these tactics. While sexual manipulation can seem obvious and overt in some cases, it can also be subtle. Threats Sexual manipulation can include threatening someone — not just in terms of their physical safety, but also threatening things that matter to them. For example, a sexual manipulator might threaten to fire or evict someone, or cause them social, financial, or emotional difficulties. These threats might be obvious or subtle. Examples: “I'll out you to your family if you don't sleep with me.” “If you don't have sex with me, I'll tell your wife we've been having an affair.” “If you're not going to have sex with me, I'll leave you and find someone who will.” “It would be a pity if you lost your job/home/friends/relationships over this.” Guilt-tripping This is when a manipulator intends to make you feel guilty so that you'll have sex with them. Examples: “I thought you loved me. I guess I was wrong.” “I also wouldn't want to sleep with someone who's as ugly as me.” “I just paid for your dinner. You owe me.” Playing on your insecurities Manipulators might use your insecurities to convince you to have sex with them. Examples: “You don't want to look like a prude, do you?” “It's fine. You're probably terrible in bed anyway.” “You sure you want to waste this opportunity? Someone who looks like you might not get many.” Gaslighting A term that's gained popularity over the past few years, gaslighting refers to a form of manipulation where someone tries to control the way another person sees themselves and their own experiences. They might cause them to doubt their sanity, their memory, or their perception of the world. Examples: “You actually already consented earlier; you just don't remember.” “You always get too sensitive. Let's just do it.” “You liked it the last time, you just don't remember. Lying To convince you to have sex with them, a manipulator might explicitly lie to you. Examples: They might lie about themselves, including their age, job, interests, or experiences, in order to get you to sleep with them. If you object because they're in a relationship or married, they might lie by saying they're in an open relationship or in the process of divorcing when they're not. Punishment A manipulator might punish you for rejecting them sexually. When you say no, they might try to make you feel bad so that you agree next time. This punishment could be obvious or more passive-aggressive. For example, they might accept your rejection but sulk for the rest of the week. Examples: Sulking or “the silent treatment” Becoming more critical and mean Intentionally “forgetting” important things." --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/antonio-myers4/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/antonio-myers4/support

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for August 5, 2022 is: heartstring • HAHRT-string • noun Heartstring is used, usually in the plural, to refer to someone's deepest emotions or affections. // The movie's emotional ending really pulls at your heartstrings. See the entry > Examples: "You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll be amazed at the talent on stage. These six actresses definitely know how to effortlessly make you chuckle while also tugging at your heartstrings." — Paul Lockwood, The Northwest Herald (Crystal Lake, Illinois), 22 Jun. 2022 Did you know? Before a love song could tug at your heartstrings, the job was more likely to be accomplished by a surgeon: the word heartstring used to refer to a nerve believed to sustain the heart. You might recognize the word's second syllable in hamstring, which refers to both a group of tendons at the back of the knee and to any of three muscles at the backs of the upper legs. It's also apparent in a rare dialect term for the Achilles tendon: heel string. And in light of these terms, it's not surprising to know that string itself was at one time used independently to refer to bodily cords like tendons and ligaments.

Ever felt like you suck at girls? Examples:You just don't know what you're doing when it comes to dating (or sex, or relationships)Getting along really well with women in general but when it comes to initiating with a woman you like, you freeze upWondering how to approach women without being creepyWhether you're a late bloomer, you feel like you're lagging behind and other guys know how to do this better, or you're just unsure in this area of your life, you're not alone!Here, four real men get personal with respect to how much they used to not know what to do when it came to sex, dating, or relationships with women.Then they go into how far they've come! Several are actively dating or in a relationship now, and they get specific about what changed that had them feel more secure.It turns out things get a lot easier when you figure out how, as a man, to lead in life and love in a way that's genuinely authentic to who you are (not some pickup artist nonsense).If you're looking for a little hope and inspiration, this isn't one to miss! Also you don't want to miss one man's description in this episode of "somewhat coed situations." ;)

Welcome to The Nonlinear Library, where we use Text-to-Speech software to convert the best writing from the Rationalist and EA communities into audio. This is: Deferring, published by Owen Cotton-Barratt on May 12, 2022 on The Effective Altruism Forum. [meta: my attempt to find a good big-picture framing for a topic that's clearly important but I am not convinced we're nailing] Deferring is when you adopt someone else's view on a question over your own independent view (or instead of taking the time to form an independent view). You can defer on questions of fact or questions of what to do. You might defer because you think they know better (epistemic deferring), or because there is a formal or social expectation that you should go along with their view (deferring to authority). Both types of deferring are important — epistemic deferring lets people borrow the fruits of knowledge; deferring to authority enables strong coordination. But they are two-edged. Deferring can mean that you get less chance to test out your own views, so developing mastery is slower. Deferring to the wrong people can be straightforwardly bad. And when someone defers without everyone understanding that's what's happening, it can cause issues. Similarly, unacknowledged expectations of deferral from others can cause problems. We should therefore learn when and how to defer, when not to, and how to be explicit about what we're doing. Why deferring is useful Epistemic deferring Epistemic deferring is giving more weight to someone else's view than your own because you think they're in a position to know better. The opposite of epistemic deferring is holding one's own view. Examples: "You've been to this town before; where's the best place to get coffee?" "My doctor/lawyer says this is a common situation, and the right thing to do is ..." "A lot of smart folks seem to think AI risk is a big deal; it sounds batshit to me, but I guess I'll look into it more" The case for epistemic deferring is simple: for most questions, we can identify someone (or some institution or group of people) whose judgement on the question would — if they were possessed of the facts we knew — be better than our own. So to the extent that (A) We want to optimize for accurate judgements above all else, & (B) We are willing to make the investment to uncover that better judgement, deferring will be correct. Partial deferring The degree to which (A) and (B) hold will vary with circumstance. It will frequently be the case that they partially hold; in this case it may be appropriate to partially defer, e.g. “I'm torn between whether to take job X or job Y. On my view job X seems better. When I talk to my friends and family they overwhelmingly think job Y sounds better; maybe they're seeing something I'm not. If I thought it was a close call anyway this might be enough to tip me over, but it won't change my mind if my preference for X was clear.” Deferring to authority Deferring to authority is adopting someone else's view because of a social contract to do so. Often deferring to authority happens on questions of what should be done — e.g. "I'm going to put this fire alarm up because [my boss / my client / the law] tells me to", or “I'm helping my friend cook dinner, so I'll cut the carrots the way they want, even though I think this other way is better”. The opposite of deferring to authority is acting on one's own conscience. Deferring to authority — and the reasonable expectation of such deferring — enables groups of people to coordinate more effectively. Militaries rely on it, but so do most projects (large and small, but especially large). It's unreasonable to expect that everyone working on a large software project will have exactly the same views over the key top-level design choices, but it's better if there's some voice that can speak authoritatively, so everyone can work on that basis. If we collectively want to be able to undertake large ambitious projects, we'll likely need to ...

There are enough blog articles, podcasts, etc with holiday gift guides that exalt all the excesses of consumerism. We decided to do a holiday gift guide with a difference that requires little to no money and hopefully allows you to have a merrier Christmas, calmer family time and reach the New Year in a better headspace.1. Self care - How can you care for yourself in a way that you show up to Christmas, Hannukah, Diwali, whatever you celebrate as your ‘best self'. Can you delegate some jobs to your partner? Can you outsource any job? Can you prepare things little and often? Can you plan for those things that make you feel grounded - walks/baths/naps/time alone?2. Let go of expectations - I think a lot of stress comes from our high expectations of what ‘should' be.3. Non appearance based compliments. want you to know it. Examples:- You have the best energy- You're so much fun to be around- You've really changed my perspective on…- You have great taste in…- You have the best sense of humour. - You're such a good friend/mum/brother.- I love how passionate you are about _______. - You're going to make our family / friendship group / the world a better place. - You're such a good listener. - Your optimism is infectious.4. Conversation starters. e.g.:- Have you done anything exciting lately?- How did you meet the host?- What was the last good book you read?- Do you listen to any podcasts? Which is your favourite?- What do you think is the best show on Netflix right now?- Have you been on any interesting trips lately?- If you didn't have the job you have now, what would you be?- What is the most rewarding part of your career?- If you could travel back in time, what decade would you choose to live in?- What's the best thing you've ever bought off Amazon?- What is one thing you can't live without?- What's the strangest dream you've had recently?5. Values assessment. What are your values going into this festive time? They likely change during the festive period. Would you rather be right or loving? Connect with Us!If you have any questions, comments, concerns or topics that you would like us to cover, please reach out to us! FacebookBehave Yourself Podcast (private group)Instagram:instagram.com/emily.a.macraeinstagram.com/thebehaviourladyinstagram.com/behaveyourselfpodEmail:behaveyourselfpod@gmail.comDisclaimer: While we're both behaviour analysts and qualified in our respective fields, this podcast is for education and information sharing only and should not be taken as personal, medical or behavioral advice or services. 

Whether you're just starting out in business or you're advanced, self-sabotage can come up at every stage. One of the biggest self-sabotage blocks I hear about from empath entrepreneurs is imposter syndrome. What is imposter syndrome? It's the gap in between - What you show the world and - What you feel inside. The gap in between holds your shame, guilt, trauma, ‘not enough', fear of being seen, and other fears. What you really want is to show up as your authentic self, putting your frequency out in the world shining your light. Transformation work is deprogramming beliefs, rewiring subconscious, and unanchoring trauma to reveal your inner radiance. This is the ascension journey of you coming HOME to yourself and shining your light. Sometimes this shows up as wearing masks - Having it all together, ‘perfection', always happy, I'm good by myself/independent woman Examples - You show the world you're happy on social media, but underneath it, you're scared, anxious, and operating from fear. This can be tied to people-pleasing and wanting everyone to like you. Example - You abandon yourself and don't have boundaries to make others comfortable. This comes from being abandoned in childhood (divorce, unavailable parent) and it wasn't safe for you to be in your body so you abandoned yourself and became hyper aware of the environment. Now it's a pattern and it shows up in your business - can lead to burnout, resentment, over-giving. Transformation = In your power, setting boundaries without feeling like a bitch, showing up in your brilliance to be visible, more flow and ease, more $ and impact! I'd love to hear from you - follow me on Instagram at @thepharmacistcoach and let me know what action step you're taking from this episode. Learn more about Dr. Christina's programs on her website - https://enlightenedwellnesspa.com/start-here/ Dr. Christina Fontana, AKA The Pharmacist Coach, is a rapid transformation coach, hypnotherapist, pharmacist, and 4-time author. One of Dr. Christina's gifts is her laser sharp intuition; she can quickly tune into what is blocking someone, identify it, and help them release it. She blends hypnotherapy, quantum physics, spirituality, and intuitive coaching to help visionary women release blocks keeping them stuck so they can own their brilliance out in the world and amplify their income and impact. For the last 10 years, Dr. Christina has been providing uplifting, transformational content through her YouTube videos, articles, books, programs, and retreats to help women wake up to more of who they really are so they can experience more freedom, joy, and fulfillment! Feel free to connect with Dr. Christina on her website or on her pharmacist Facebook page, Monetize Your Magic – A Community for Empath Entrepreneurs. Connect with Dr. Christina here: www.pharmacistcoach.com Facebook group - www.bitly.com/scaleyoursidehustlegroup Instagram - @thepharmacistcoach --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/christina-tarantola/support

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for November 8, 2021 is: demagogue • DEM-uh-gahg • noun A demagogue is a leader who makes use of popular prejudices and false claims and promises in order to gain power. // The country's voters ousted the demagogue who capitalized on the fears of the people. See the entry > Examples: "You need an internal guidance system for making decisions. Without one, your choices become heavily influenced by external forces such as peers, television, and demagogues." — Tom Muha, The Capital (Annapolis, Maryland), 2 Oct. 2021 Did you know? When the ancient Greeks used dēmagōgos (from dēmos, meaning "people," and agein, "to lead") they meant someone good—a leader who used outstanding oratorical skills to further the interests of the common people. But alas, the word took a negative turn, suggesting one who uses powers of persuasion to sway and mislead.

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for July 16, 2021 is: omniscient • ahm-NISH-unt • adjective 1 : having infinite awareness, understanding, and insight 2 : possessed of universal or complete knowledge Examples: "You'll need to tell me when you don't understand something I've said," Maria said. "I'm not omniscient, you know." "I suppose I had boxed myself into a corner by making the story first person, present tense, and thus not allowing for an omniscient narrator who could act as the Greek chorus for the reader, explaining as needed." — Saïd Sayrafiezadeh, quoted in The New Yorker, 24 May 2021 Did you know? One who is omniscient literally knows all. The word omniscient combines two Latin roots: omni-, meaning "all" or "universally," and the verb scire, meaning "to know." You will recognize omni- as the prefix that tells all in such words as omnivorous ("eating all" or, in actual use, "eating both plants and animals") and omnipotent ("all-powerful"). Scire likewise has a number of other knowledge-related descendants in English, including conscience, science, and prescience (meaning "foreknowledge").

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for July 16, 2021 is: omniscient • ahm-NISH-unt • adjective 1 : having infinite awareness, understanding, and insight 2 : possessed of universal or complete knowledge Examples: "You'll need to tell me when you don't understand something I've said," Maria said. "I'm not omniscient, you know." "I suppose I had boxed myself into a corner by making the story first person, present tense, and thus not allowing for an omniscient narrator who could act as the Greek chorus for the reader, explaining as needed." — Saïd Sayrafiezadeh, quoted in The New Yorker, 24 May 2021 Did you know? One who is omniscient literally knows all. The word omniscient, which has been part of English since at least the beginning of the 17th century, brings together two Latin roots: the combining form omni-, meaning "all" or "universally," and the verb scire, meaning "to know." You will recognize omni- as the prefix that tells all in such words as omnivorous ("eating all" or, in actual use, "eating both plants and animals") and omnipotent ("all-powerful"). Scire likewise has a number of other knowledge-related descendants in English, including conscience, science, and prescience (meaning "foreknowledge").

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for May 30, 2021 is: nettle • NET-ul • verb 1 : to strike or sting with or as if with nettles 2 : to arouse to sharp but transitory annoyance or anger Examples: You could tell by his nervous reaction that the town official was nettled by the reporter's probing questions. "Agent Cooper … will be back in the weird little hamlet of Twin Peaks, Washington, a quarter-century after the original ABC series aired. He will presumably be investigating one or more fresh crimes that stir eerie echoes of a mystery that, way back when, nettled the nation: 'Who killed Laura Palmer?'" — The Dallas Morning News, 17 May 2017 Did you know? If you've ever brushed against nettles, you know those weeds have sharp bristles that can leave you smarting and itching. The painful and irritating rash that nettles cause can last for days, but at least it is a rash with a linguistic silver lining. The discomfort caused by nettles can serve to remind one that the verb nettle is a synonym of irritate. Nettle originated as a plant name that we can trace to the Old English word netel. Eventually, people likened the nagging itch caused by the plant to the nagging aggravation of being annoyed, and nettle became a synonym of vex, peeve, and of course irritate.

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for May 19, 2021 is: rictus • RIK-tus • noun 1 : the gape of a bird's mouth 2 a : the mouth orifice b : a gaping grin or grimace Examples: "You could make a strong case that the current face of the Mariners' franchise, generically speaking, is frozen in a rictus of frustration.… Perhaps one day soon a savior will emerge and lead the Mariners to unachieved heights." — Larry Stone, The Seattle Times, 31 Mar. 2021 "To [Jim Carrey] fans, it's fun to watch him return to sketch comedy—the medium that offered his big break back in the early ’90s—turn that rubber face into a rictus, and wiggle his glued-on eyebrows." — Alison Herman, The Ringer, 9 Oct. 2020 Did you know? Rictus began its English career in the late 17th century as a technical term for the mouth of an animal, the new science of zoology clearly calling for some Latin to set its lingo apart from the language of farmers. In Latin, rictus means "an open mouth"; it comes from the verb ringi, meaning "to open the mouth." Zoologists couldn't keep the word to themselves, though. English speakers liked its sound too much, and they thought it would be good for referring to a gaping grin or grimace. James Joyce used the word in both Ulysses (1922) and A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man (1916), writing in the latter, "Creatures were in the field…. Goatish creatures with human faces…. A rictus of cruel malignity lit up greyly their old bony faces."

  Question of the Week by The Brotherhood of Me Why am I not happy in my life? There are a lot of reasons that you are lacking joy and happiness in your life. Since I don't know you from adam I can only guess as to why you are unhappy and restless. The number one reason I would surmise is that you don't have a purpose. What gets you out of bed each morning? People need to have a why a purpose, a passion Whatever you would like to call it, you need one. Something that allows you to struggle and get out of your comfort zone. Sadly many people are just way too damn comfortable for their life. We need struggle and discomfort to have joy in our lives. Much like how we need the valleys of life to celebrate the summits of our achievements. We need dark to appreciate the light. It may sound like a horrible and cruel paradox but look at anybody who is genuinely happy and they will tell about the hard times they had in their life. Why do you think so many poor people appear to be so happy while rich people often appear to be so miserable. That is because of the benefit of the struggle. So how do you wade into something uncomfortable? I would say write down 10 or more things that scare you. Is it speaking in public or possibly joining a group. Start small. You may do what Jia Jiang did and just get people to tell him no. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vZXgApsPCQ There find the things that scare you and start trying to do them. Don't be afraid of failure. That is a part of learning and skill-building. You didn't just hop on to a bicycle and start riding no you fell over and over again until you got it. Be a part of something bigger than you. This could be a charity or maybe a project like starting your own business. Yes, the business can be bigger than you. A business is nothing more than you getting paid for a service you perform. So you can find fulfillment from starting a business. You don't have to worry so much about passion. That will actually grow as you get more and more involved with whatever you are doing. Use a gratitude journal You can't be unhappy when you are truly grateful. You can start to change your mindset and attitude by looking at what you are grateful for. Write down each day 3 things you are grateful for. You might even challenge yourself and say you can't use the same thing more than once every 7 days. So Go out and try it. Keep searching for that why and you will find it. Main Topic So many times we let the opinions of others dictate our decisions. Examples You are going to fail He looks ridiculous That is a fool's errand You cant do that What is an opinion? An opinion 1. a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge. "I'm writing to voice my opinion on an issue of great importance" 2. the beliefs or views of a large number or majority of people about a particular thing. "The changing climate of opinion" 3. An estimation of the quality or worth of someone or something. "I had a higher opinion of myself than I deserved" Definitions from Oxford Languages  Opinions are not facts they are thoughts believed to be true. In other words, opinions are nothing more than thoughts. My wife is being irrational, is an opinion. My kids don't listen, is an opinion. Opinions are also anything with an emotion tied to it. My wife is mad, is an opinion. We often take opinions and apply them to our lives. We were told out being a writer was a dumb idea because you can't make any money from it. You cant be an artist because you will starve. Those are again opinions, they aren't true for you. It may be that Uncle Joe failed as a screenwriter and he is sharing his opinion because of how much it hurt for him to fail. His experience isn't yours. Take the opinions as just that opinions. They may have nuggets of truth in them but that doesn't mean you are not worthy of trying. You never know what you can do till you actually take a swing at your dream. Will you fail? Yeah is it because Uncle Joe said so? Only if you allow it.  

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for April 10, 2021 is: fatuous • FATCH-oo-us • adjective : complacently or inanely foolish : silly Examples: "You would have to be an inattentive person never to have noticed the incongruity between the well-informed but fatuous opinions of your forward-thinking peers on the one hand, and the simple but wise judgments of your parents or grandparents on the other." — Barton Swaim, Commentary, November 2020 "Jules Feiffer's cartoons in the Village Voice, which started appearing in 1956, made fun of the kind of people who read the Village Voice.... It's not that people like to laugh at themselves. They like to laugh at people who are just a little more fatuous and self-absorbed than themselves." — Louis Menand, The New Yorker, 1 Feb. 2021 Did you know? "I am two fools, I know, / For loving, and for saying so / In whining Poetry," wrote John Donne, simultaneously confessing to both infatuation and fatuousness. As any love-struck fool can attest, infatuation can make buffoons of the best of us. So it should come as no surprise that the words fatuous and infatuation derive from the same Latin root, fatuus, which means "foolish." Both terms have been part of English since the 17th century. Infatuation followed the earlier verb infatuate, a fatuus descendant that once meant "to make foolish" but that now usually means "to inspire with a foolish love or admiration."

Sorry. That’s just the way it is. Have you ever noticed that? Does this sentence ring true to you? Think about your personal relationships. Think about your clubs, associates and groups. Think about your workplace. Examples You’re at a seminar and someone keeps asking “dumb” questions. What happens then? Other people chime in to help, […] The post You’re smart so you’re on your own first appeared on Alchemy For Life.

In this episode, I sit down with the beautiful soul Jen. She is all about mental health, She shared what she does and gave us some tips and tricks on how to take care of ourselves when it comes to dating. She also gave some offers on what she does that can maybe help support you. Here are a few things she actually had us in The Collective Group do: 1. Take a moment to notice what is present for you at this moment. Write down what is present in the body, what is present in the mind, emotions, and heart. With non-judgment. You can free-write or make a list, but resist the urge to judge or analyze here, we’re just gathering information and staying in the present moment. 2. Take a moment to consider 1 way you can start practicing mindfulness. Jot down what comes to mind first! Mindfulness is bringing our attention to the present moment, our full awareness of the here and now. Here are a few examples of how you can practice mindfulness: Incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine by picking something you do every day like brushing your teeth, washing dishes/doing chores, eating a meal, drinking coffee or tea, commuting. When you brush your teeth, for example, focus only on brushing your teeth. When your mind wanders bring it back by thinking ‘I am brushing my teeth’. Going for a walk and noticing your surroundings Through active listening: to a song or someone talking - giving your total attention. Press pause during your day — noticing your surroundings, your body, or your breath can be a great way to tune into the here and now. An effective way of doing this is to use your 5 senses. At any time, pause and notice your environment by using all of your senses. Observe what you feel, hear, see, smell, and taste. Meditation is a great place to start. I have some free, short guided meditations on IG @fromjentozen that are perfect for beginners. You can also start by using Apps like Headspace or Insight Timer. If you’re unsure of when to practice meditation, pair it with something you already do - like making coffee or making your bed, as soon as you’re done doing this task, sit in meditation. 3. Consider a time when you’ve been resilient. Maybe it was a time you decided to exercise even when you didn’t feel like it or perhaps it was a way you showed up at your job or maybe you were there for a friend during a difficult time. How did you show up? How were you resilient? One way to remind ourselves of our resiliency is to use something I like to call a 'you are' statement, similar to I am statements, but I believe sometimes we need to hear YOU - from ourselves to ourselves. So take a moment and consider what is something you need to be reminded of this month? Examples: You are resilient. You are strong. You are capable. You are kind. You are brave. You are compassionate. Write it down! Look at it every day. https://www.instagram.com/fromjentozen/

www.valerielavignelife.com/98 for full show notes and special links! [00:27] Hello there! Welcome back to the women's empowerment podcast, I am your hostess Valerie LaVigne, and I am so very excited to be here with you today talking about MONEY! In this episode I am sharing FIVE ways to nourish your relationship with money, with the intention to encourage a new perspective, introduce some new tools, and inspire you to awaken abundance into your life. Let's begin! [00:53] The first way to nourish your relationship with money is to Number one: Remember that Money is Energy  I often hear people talking about money as if it is the goal. “I wish I had more money” or “I need to save more money” or “when I have money” But when we think about what follows phrases like these, we discover that there is a more specific goal, and it is money that gets us there.  For example: “I wish I had more money… to go on a longer vacation.” “I need to save more money… to buy my dream home.” “When I have money… I'm going to get out of debt.” From these examples we can clearly understand that money isn't the goal. Money is the energy, money is the tool that helps us reach our goals. This is a very simple mindset shift that we need to remind ourselves of. TAKE ACTION: Get clear on what really matters (what do you need more money for?) and outline your priorities. Where are you going to spend your energy?  Examples: You like going out to eat, but you love travelling. Can you spend your energy (money) on groceries and make meals at home and use the money you saved to go on a longer vacation? You want to upgrade your car lease, but you'd rather buy your first home. Can you compromise on a lower model and use the difference in your monthly payments toward your new mortgage or downpayment for a property.  Do you one better: can you walk or take public transit? Once you are clear on your goals, you can properly prioritize your energy and also find new ways to support your specific goals! Clarity is key!   [2:57] Number two: Solidify Healthy Money Habits Your relationship with money is like your relationship with anyone else, it takes work and it needs attention. I've outlined four simple money habits to practice that help build a healthy relationship with money.   #1. Respect your bills:Every side of a relationship deserves respect. When your bill arrives, don't roll your eyes, ignore it, or start swearing at it. Money has ears, can you imagine if you reacted the same way to your partner when they came home? They would be heartbroken.  Instead, greet your bills with appreciation, gratitude and love! You were able to buy some pretty great things using your credit card. It has helped and respected you, now it's your turn to return the appreciation.   #2. Save your receiptsHaving proper receipts will help you separate taxable and nontaxable income so that you can distinguish your actual deductions. Once you start saving your receipts, you'll also want to implement habit number 3 and organize them…   #3. Have money datesI have a money date every month. It's the time I set aside to review my spending, saving, and income generation. I first started tracking my income and expenses when I started my business. But whether you have a business or not, I highly recommend tracking your expenses. The way I record mine I am able to see how much money I am spending on different areas of my business. You can create categories specific to you and your business or life. One month I realized I was spending WAY too much money on coffee dates so the next month I decided to invest in a Nespresso machine and drink coffee at home. I love my coffee ritual and my nespresso machine.   #4. Visit your savingsEvery so often check up on your savings account. - OH WAIT - I'm going to interrupt myself… if you don't have a savings account, start a healthy money habit to put money into a savings account regularly. - Then once you have one, you can visit it. Watch how it grows! Feel yourself getting closer to your goals with your savings, and say nice things to it like: Thank you for being a safe space to hold my energy so that I can insert goals here [travel the world]. OR I'm so grateful for the money I am saving, as my appreciation grows, my savings account also grows. TAKE ACTION: Choose one of the four habits and start implementing it in the next 48 hours. Then block off time in your calendar each week to cultivate the habit.   [6:00] Nourishing your relationship with money number three: Wealth is a Mindset If you want to be rich, you need to think differently. Wealthy people will tell you that the key to their success is having a “millionaire mindset.” Did you know that only 20% of millionaires inherited their wealth? The other 80% earned their money on their own. One of the biggest obstacles of people living with debt or paycheque to paycheque is that they believe that this is their life. But it doesn't have to be! TAKE ACTION: Get clear on what you want money for (refer to #1) THEN, figure out what your limiting beliefs and money mindset blocks are. These are the things we think or tell ourselves about money that are holding us back from our goals and from building a healthy relationship with money.  This step may take some time, because most of us don't even know what our limited beliefs are. When I first started understanding my money stories, I would write down everything I said about money and also the people I spent time with. I kept it all in a note file on my phone. This helped me understand my money blocks and also the limiting beliefs I inherited from my family and friends.   [7:43] Number four: Get in Touch with Your Feelings Thinking and talking about money can stir up some real heavy emotions. According to personal finance author Suze Orman, shame, fear, and anger are the most common emotions tied to money. No matter which emotion you are feeling, the best thing to do is forgive yourself. “The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward” - Steve Maraboli Most of us have experienced these heavy feelings, have made money mistakes, or have struggled financially in some way. Like any relationship, mistakes will be made along the way. Lean into the situation, release the judgment and forgive so that you can discover creative solutions and move on.   [8:52] Number five: Celebrate the Wins Gratitude and appreciation attract more things to be grateful for. The same works for celebrating, it's a form of showing gratitude - celebrate your wins each and every week. The big ones, the small ones, and everything in between! TAKE ACTION: at the end of each week, write down all of your wins - do this daily for bonus good vibes! Choose different benchmark dates and celebrate all your wins between those dates. Choose celebrations that you like best! Popping some bubbly? Spa day with your friends? A bouje dinner? AND Whenever you're having a bad day you can go back and look through all the wins! It will cheer you up and remind you of the badass human you are! Alright, those were the 5 ways to nourish your relationship with money!!! These are super simple practices that can make a world of a difference with your money mindset.   [9:53] List of previous episodes all around money, abundance, and wealth! Episode 11: The Dangers of Your Comfort Zone Money Mindset Mini Series Episode 73: Part One Awareness Episode 74: Part Two Action Episode 75: Part Three Awaken BONUS: Successful Strategies for Money Management & Rocking Your Side Hustle with Liz Enriquez BONUS: Elevate Your Money Story & Overcome Your Money Blocks with Vanessa Bowen Episode 83: Three Magical Manifestation Magnifiers Episode 86: Three Keys to Creating Space to Attract More Abundance

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for August 21, 2020 is: exhort • ig-ZORT • verb 1 : to incite by argument or advice : urge strongly 2 : to give warnings or advice : make urgent appeals Examples: "You'd think it was easy, making a little cube with dots, but it's hard to make a die that isn't biased. The foreman would walk up and down exhorting us: 'The fate of honest men and women lies in your hands. A single crooked die can ruin a man for life.'" — Margot Livesey, Banishing Verona, 2004 "Teen-age activist Greta Thunberg told world political and business leaders in Davos, Switzerland, on Tuesday that their inaction on the climate crisis was 'fueling the flames by the hour.' The 17-year-old exhorted the World Economic Forum audience to 'act as if you loved your children above all else.'" — Vicky McKeever, CNBC.com, 23 Jan. 2020 Did you know? Exhort is a 15th-century coinage. It derives from the Latin verb hortari, meaning "to incite," and it often implies the ardent urging or admonishing of an orator or preacher. English speakers apparently took to the root hort, fiddling around with different prefixes to create other words similar in meaning to exhort. They came up with adhort (meaning the same as exhort) and dehort (a word similar to exhort and adhort but with a more specific meaning of "to dissuade"). Adhort all but vanished after the 17th century. Dehort had a slightly better run than adhort, but it is now considered archaic.

The Daf from a Psychological Perspective For Mareh Mekomos Click Below וּמִי עָבְדִינַן כִּתְרֵי חוּמְרֵי? וְהָא תַּנְיָא: לְעוֹלָם הֲלָכָה כְּבֵית הִלֵּל, וְהָרוֹצֶה לַעֲשׂוֹת כְּדִבְרֵי בֵּית שַׁמַּאי עוֹשֶׂה, כְּדִבְרֵי בֵּית הִלֵּל עוֹשֶׂה. מִקּוּלֵּי בֵּית שַׁמַּאי וּמִקּוּלֵּי בֵּית הִלֵּל — רָשָׁע. מֵחוּמְרֵי בֵּית שַׁמַּאי וּמֵחוּמְרֵי בֵּית הִלֵּל — עָלָיו הַכָּתוּב אוֹמֵר: ״הַכְּסִיל בְּחֹשֶׁךְ הוֹלֵךְ״. אֶלָּא, אִי כְּבֵית שַׁמַּאי כְּקוּלֵּיהוֹן וּכְחוּמְרֵיהוֹן, אִי כְּבֵית הִלֵּל כְּקוּלֵּיהוֹן וּכְחוּמְרֵיהוֹן. The Gemara poses a question: But do we adopt the respective stringencies of two authorities who disagree on a series of issues? Wasn't it taught in a baraita: The halakha is always in accordance with the opinion of Beit Hillel, but one who wishes to act in accordance with the opinion of Beit Shammai may do so, and one who wishes to act in accordance with the opinion of Beit Hillel may do so. If he wishes to adopt both the leniencies of Beit Shammai and also the leniencies of Beit Hillel, he is a wicked person. And if he wishes to adopt both the stringencies of Beit Shammai and also the stringencies of Beit Hillel, with regard to him the verse states: “The fool walks in darkness” (Ecclesiastes 2:14). Rather, he should act either in accordance with Beit Shammai, following both their leniencies and their stringencies, or in accordance with Beit Hillel, following both their leniencies and their stringencies. ערבי נחל כי תשא א:כג David Solomon Eibeschutz 1751-1813 והנה ארז"ל (עירובין ו:) מקולי בית שמאי ומקולי בית הלל רשע מחומרי בית שמאי ומחומרי בית הלל עליו הכתוב אומר (קהלת ב) הכסיל כו' ופירושו דאף שעושה מצד דקדוק שמחמיר על עצמו אפילו הכי אין לעשות כן דפעמים חומרא בא לידי קולא. It is implied from the Gemara that the reason for it to be considered foolish to follow both stringencies is that sometimes, in various halakhic circumstances, what appears to be a stringency actually will be a leniency, as the Gemara illustrates later on Daf 7 in regarding to the missing amount of vertebrae needed to make the animal a tereifa versus needed to make a body a corpse. But perhaps the Gemara is hinting at another idea, which is that while technically it may be possible to always err on the side of safety and follow all strict opinions, when one does not choose a teacher or school of thought to consistently follow, then one is following neither. Meaning to say, ideologically each path in Torah offers more than just permitted and forbidden. Torah is a way of life, and the fulfillment or abstention from every act influences character and outlook. Therefore, one cannot truly follow both opinions by being machmir, because the experience is also to live inside the boundaries of that particular opinion, and to experience the permitted as well as the forbidden. In a broader sense, a colleague of mine, Dr. Nachum Klafter once pointed out, there is no chumrah that does not involve a kulah in the sense that it always entail a loss of something else. Not to say one shouldn't do it, just to say that one must be realistic about the consequences. Examples: You decide to make Shabbos early. Of course that is a good thing. However, perhaps you will be irritable because you rushed. Or you are a machmir regarding some food or drink and abstain because some opinions say you should not eat or drink it. You will likely come to a wedding or gathering of friends and family where your distance will be felt because you will not be able to participate fully. It is not that the chumrah is unworthy, it is just that one should not be naive about any potential effects or losses from the Chumrah.

Today's topic is underwear runs in the snow and how to build fun into the day to day grind. Vacations are awesome for 2 weeks, but living 50 other weeks of misery is not fun. Don't do it.Story: The family underwear runs. Problem and Stress: We can lose the ability to have fun and play. Most of us turn to "numbing" our life with Netflix binges or video gaming. Having fun is about building relationships within your friends and family. I promise you will be a stressed out mess if you operate with numbing and no fun.Solution and Examples:You must become intentional about doing things for fun. We talk about the question game, joke books. trivia books, and gambling for bubble gum. The 8 Play Personalitieshttps://caps.umich.edu/article/your-play-personality

In this episode, Sara Kuljis is back to talk about giving kids meaningful compliments and focusing on our kids' strengths. We recently hosted our Raise Thriving Kids workshop in Newport Beach where we spent the day discussing positive parenting tools. Since then, we've received a lot of positive feedback, especially on the topic of Level 3 Affirmations. Big Ideas Part of camp staff training involves teaching them to more regularly and more deeply affirm real character traits that matter in the campers. The children are able to go home knowing that they have this "gold" within them. They divided the affirmations, or compliments, into 3 levels. Level 1 affirmations are words that convey worth, value, and importance in one's possessions or one's physical appearance. Examples: "You have beautiful hair." "That's a really cool new skateboard." These are compliments on things (physical traits or material possessions) that a child doesn't have a lot of control over and it can create a sense of insecurity. Level 2 affirmations are words that convey worth, value, and importance lies in one's performance or accomplishments. Examples: "You fixed your hair so cute today" and "You were amazing at the skate park today." Level 3 affirmations are words that convey worth, value, and importance in one's efforts, character, in one's very being. Examples: "I appreciate the time you took to do your friend's hair. I admire that about you" or "I admire how hard you've been working to improve your skating skills. You've been out there every day. I appreciate your grit and determination." Level 3 traits are more likely to develop and grow in our children when they are acknowledged and praised. Quotes Audrey: "There's nothing wrong with level one affirmations and in fact, you feel good when someone comments. But there are levels up from that." Sara: "Parents hover in level two a lot. At camp and at school, we often emphasize that skill they learned and it's awesome to affirm that in a child. But our kids are buried by the sense that they have to outperform and they have to accomplish way beyond what any reasonable expectation is." Sara: "When affirmations get stuck at level two, where we value and shine a light on the importance--almost exclusively--of accomplishments and performance, we are doing our kids a great disservice." Audrey: "This is probably how most of us were raised and often results in having really high expectations for ourselves that can get to a destructive level called 'perfectionism,' where we feel like no matter what we do, it's never enough." Audrey: "We all have this fundamental need to be valued. We want people to notice us and value us and sometimes we think we are being valued for what we do, or what we accomplish." Audrey: "It's not what we do or what we have that makes us a valuable, important person." Sara: "Praise the process that your child went through to accomplish something. If I'm looking at the process, I'm looking at determination, perseverance, grit, inclusivity, kindness--all of the really deep character traits we're all hoping our kids have." Audrey: "If our teachers and coaches focus on when they see someone demonstrating one of those traits that we want to build up in our kids, like kindness or generosity or patience, and point it out, that's going to grow it. It's really important for parents to do it. But when kids hear those kinds of affirmations from another adult, it's really powerful." Audrey: "There's a lot of overlap here in mining for strengths and really taking the time to notice our kids and who they are and what makes them tick because kids right from the beginning show their stripes." Sara: "For parents, it's loving the child you have, not wishing for the child you don't." Audrey: "Bringing to the surface and naming some of those character traits for our kids is so helpful because they are the ones they are going to use to do great things. Whatever those great things are, they'll use those traits. They'll use their kindness, their energy, their gift for seeing what's going on or for organizing events or for including people. They're going use those skills everywhere in their lives, but not if they're not called out. We need to name them." Audrey: "What better way to show our gratitude for another human being than by giving them a level three affirmation." Related Posts/Podcasts Ep. 63: Growing Gratitude with Sara Kuljis Ep. 114: Precursors to Gratitude A Grateful Family is a Happy Family: 5 Gratitude Practices Ep. 77: Comparison is the Thief of (Parenting) Joy Ep. 75: Begin with the (Parenting) End in Mind

Hi everyone! I am Georgiana, founder of speakenglishpodcast.com. My mission is to help you to speak English fluently. Do you want to sound more like an English native speaker? Well, this is the perfect lesson for you. Today I’ll teach you ten idioms that will make you sound more like a native speaker. And with a Point of view story you will improve your grammar, and at the same time, you’ll practice the expressions in context. Ok. Let’s start! 1) GET OUT OF HAND: to become difficult to control. When you lose control of things, they get out of hand. Examples: “There was an argument that got out of hand,and the police came.” “Your aggressive nature has gotten a bit out of hand.” “The demonstration is getting out of hand.” “It was only a joke but sadly got a little out of hand.” 2) GET YOUR HEAD AROUND IT: to understand something. Examples: “I just can’t get my head around the fact that she just broke up with me.” “I just can’t get my head aroundthe fact that I’m not getting promoted this year.” “Have you got your head aroundyour new situation?” 3) POUND THE PAVEMENT: to walk the streets looking for a job. Examples: “You’ll be pounding the pavementfor months before you find another job.” “I’ll need to pound the pavementto get a new job.” “Last year I spent three months pounding the pavement after I lost my job.” READ the TEXT here: www.speakenglishpod.com

Welcome to SWW …on a Monday … because we have been receiving a LOT of questions about what’s happening with this so-called “market crash”, why has the share market dropped so much, should we sell to cash to avoid massive losses?   Here’s the back story The Australian share market has wiped out all its gains from the last 12 months Some say we have entered a technical "correction", plus Following a massive sell-off on Wall Street overnight It has fallen by more than 10% since its peak in late-August until October There were days last week when it was dropping 2+% in a day   Why are markets tumbling? What America does, we follow, and so does the rest of the world The local market's substantial decline comes after the Dow Jones index fell more than 600 points – this wiped out all its gains since January - 10 months’ worth New York's benchmark S&P 500 index - down 3%, Nasdaq (tech heavy) - down 4.5% Australia is still faring better than some others when it comes to one-day losses; Tokyo's Nikkei (-3.4%), Seoul's Kospi (-2.5%) and Shanghai's composite index (2.6%)   Why is this occurring? There’s a number of reasons, but a lot possibly comes back to investors taking profits ahead of upcoming uncertainty US Share market in 2 years rose 40% until the declines over the past few weeks Uncertainty is a major factor on share markets; People get worried, they sell their investments… so the market goes down If you aren’t certain about what tomorrow holds, how can your plan and act today for it? Certainty and confidence in the share market are the key drivers of consistent growth Markets with too much confidence turn into bubbles This will always exist in the share market; Consistence in confidence leads to overconfidence, overconfidence then leads to bubbles … but then profit taking sets in Profit taking = Selling   Factors affecting sentiment and uncertainty; there are actually many things, but let’s focus on the major 4 US Midterms – Elections – Anyone heard of the blue wave coming? It is where the house and senate is voted on Among the 33 Class 1 Senate seats upfor regular election in 2018 are 23 currently held by Democrats, two by independents who caucus with the Senate Democrats, and eight by Republicans Republicans – 51 currently – All polls show Wyoming, Utah, Texas, Tennessee, North Dekota, Nebraska, Mississippi are all safe Republican – 8 seats up for re-election 6 are up for tossups – In independent states Democrats - 47 19 seats are safe There is an assumption – Republicans remain 51- Dems at 49 – but they’re still not in power. Media is saying the “blue wave” everywhere… but I don’t see it Economic advisor Larry Kudlow this week blamed the spectre of Democrat wins for falling market prices. Even if this is true, if it was the only reason for the market price fall, it is a great time to buy! Raising rates – The Fed are very quickly raising rates President Trump slammed Fed boss Jerome Powell, saying he threatened growth and appeared to "enjoy" hiking interest rates. - "Every time we do something great, he raises the interest rates," How does raising interest rates affect markets? Shares; Free cashflows of shares is used and in the equation the risk free is the denominator Analysts use the risk-free rate when they determine the intrinsic value of a stock. And the rates on Treasury securities are used as the risk-free rate. A lower risk-free rate typically translates into a higher intrinsic value. Bonds and Bond pricing; Rates rise, bond prices fall, and it’s worse the longer the duration Rate rises can hurt the valuations of both asset classes   Decline of Tech - disappointing quarterly earnings from some major American companies Tech stock declines drove much of the repricing 6 of the top 10 are tech stocks Geo-political Tariffs and trade wars Geopolitical tensions with oil producer Saudi Arabia for the killing of journalist Jamal Khashoggi EU – Low growth and Italy's conflict with the European Union regarding budget spending This could be a big one, not enough time here but will do an episode on the EU and economic breakup in a future ep   We have been talking about America – Why cover it, we are in Australia? This does matter for us, not for fundamentals but ‘monkey see, monkey do’ Crowd behaviour – Share markets around the world are highly correlated. Similar factors and similar human behaviour   What will cause Australia stocks to be volatile? Similar things - overarching factors mentioned before, specifically to us though: Political uncertainty is a big one; almost one Prime Minister every year for the last 7 years It’s hard to invest if you aren’t sure what is going on. As policies are likely to change so too does individual behaviour Example; You learn that the cost of bananas is likely to triple in price in two weeks’ time…most people rush out and buy bananas. When an outcome is likely from a political change, people change their behaviours prior to it even occurring   What will cause Australia to have slow growth in the long term? Regulation – Stifles growth and competition by increasing barrier to entry – reduces incentive Taxation – Detracts from the reward – again, reduces incentive   Examples: You can have growth with one and not the other Taxation – America after war: High taxes but low regulation, average 70-90% tax rate. There was, however, high growth. They did import a lot of gold and were one of the only developed countries not destroyed in the war Singapore had regulation but low taxes and no welfare – so, it has good growth.   When you have both high taxation and high regulation, GDP growth slows; GPD growth is important as it is highly correlated with share market growth Corporate Finance / Finance at Uni – joined the Investment Banking Challenge and we had to value a merger into the future. The initial growth would be large, but once the business mature. The growth assumption is almost on par with GPD growth of the overall economy. Our History of GDP growth Used to be more volatile, but consistently higher in number As regulation increases our growth narrows down to 2-3% p.a. over time What would it take for a market collapse? Housing crash – Either from lack of demand in property plus interest rates going up a lot The housing market may decline a bit, but not like in the U.S. Fiscal Cliff – Government debt defaulting, banks defaulting Anything that destroys the nature of financial markets The Share market is related to financial markets – And also the foundation of every other company operating A lot of companies need loans and credit to operate and they get that from the banks If the banks shut down, so do a lot of other companies if they are overleveraged and can’t operate on revenues alone Should you be worried? If the money is invested for a home deposit – maybe If the money is for the long term – not really This is part of the general market cycle What’s your end goal for your investment?   Ways to hedge against a collapse If you’re ok with something that carries a bit more risk: VIX, ended near 22% higher, to its highest since the turmoil during February's sell-off when markets started to perform. Not great over the longer term in a stable country. Gold – I’ll cover this in another episode next week Hold – Throughout the markets’ history, there have been collapses…ask yourself, are the markets still around? Not only are they around, most are a few percentage points off their high points What it would take to have a total market collapse – to get a 0% on all shares – Every company in Australia would need to go out of business. If that occurs we have more than our investment value to worry about. That is why it is important to be well diversified – if you only have 1, 2 or 3 companies in your portfolio the chances of 100% loss is much greater DCA in to the market – Take advantage of the downturns, but isn’t as risky as putting all into the market at the same time Example: If you have $10k to invest, put $4k in now and wait, if it goes down put another $4k in It may go up and it may go down – but at least you didn’t lose on $10k – nobody has a crystal ball In the next episode I’ll give you another side to the Trump Economy and why the US economy is has done really well until now. As always, if you have any questions hit me up at the contact page

WHAT ARE LOVE LANGUAGES?: Love languages are a tool to help us understand how we each give and receive love differently. This is particularly important to know if you are in a long-term intimate relationship because, most likely, you and your partner have different primary love languages. Which means you and your partner could be trying to express love to one another, but could be completely missing each other. This can be extremely frustrating and lead to feelings of disappointment, loneliness, and disconnect. The love languages give us 5 basic categories of how love is generally expressed and received (felt). If you want to communicate your love with your partner, it will be helpful to know what language they typically use. Similarly, if you want to feel loved by your partner, it will be important to know what matters most to you (i.e. what ways help you feel loved). In 1996, Gary Chapman wrote “The Five Love Languages.” Since then, his categorization of love has been highly recognized in popular self-help literature. He has written several additions helping people apply the 5 Love Languages to other relationships (i.e. parenting and professional relationship, etc.). (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear my stories and examples to describe these points.) WHAT ARE THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES?: 1. Words of Affirmation: Words are used to express love, care, and regard. People with this primary love language are deeply moved by statements of affection, acknowledgment, and encouragement. They want to hear you say you love them, or what they mean to you. Examples: “You look great!” “I love how you make me laugh.“ “You mean the world to me.” 2. Physical Touch: Physical affection is used to display love, appreciation, and meaning. For people with this primary love language, physical, appropriate touch is a powerful way to feel and communicate love. It is almost as if touching is a way to transmit love. Examples: Touching each other when you leave the house and again when you return with a hug or kiss. Snuggling or sitting close while watching a movie. Touch on the back or arm, when walking by. Love making. 3. Acts of Service: Acts of service are any actions done with someone in mind. Most often they are service-oriented actions intended to support or help, so that their partner may feel cared for, thought about, and loved. People with this primary love language often feel that “actions speak louder than words.” Words and gestures will not help them feel loved, if there is no action to support the sentiment. Examples: Cooking a meal. Taking care of chore (i.e. cleaning up the house, getting the car serviced and cleaned). Running an errand (i.e. picking up the dry cleaning). Taking action on a project. 4. Quality Time: Giving someone your undivided attention, focus, and presence demonstrates how much they matter, how special they are to you, and how much you love and care for them. People with this love language feel loved, cared for, and important when prioritized in your schedule to receive valuable quality time with you. Examples: Schedule time to be together. Minimizing distractions (i.e. tv. Phones, tablets, computers, etc.). Attending to one another in an activity that allows you to focus on the other person. Sharing a meal together. Doing an activity together. 5. Gifts: Tangible objects are used as symbols of love, affection, and regard. Physical representation of I am thinking about you and I love you. People with this primary love language feel especially loved and cared about because of the thought and effort that goes into the gift. It is not about the money spent. It is about the attitude involved. Examples: Framed photo. Personalized memento. Picked up your favorite drink. Bought something that I think you would like (i.e. pleasure item, luxury item, need item, or fun item). HOW TO DETERMINE YOU AND YOUR PARTNER’S LOVE LANGUAGE: Typically, people have a top one or two love language. The highest ranking love language is the number one way people feel loved, cared for, and valued. Usually, the thing we give most often indicates our primary love language. Notice in yourself: What do you typically give to your partner? What is most natural and easiest way to give love? When you think about expressing love to your partner, what is the first thing you think about? Think about what is more important to you by comparing the love languages together. For example, would you feel more loved and cared about if someone went out of their way to buy you a nice gift or if they spent ample time with you giving you their attention and warmth? Observe in your Partner: What does your partner typically give to you? How do they express care, regard, and love to others? What do they complain about not getting in relationship with you or others? What do they request the most? SIGNS THAT YOUR PARTNER SPEAKS THIS LOVE LANGUAGE: 1. Words of Affirmation: They are good at expressing their feelings and how much you mean to them. They may describe in detail what they appreciate about you and explain all the reasons why they love you. They might leave you voice messages throughout the day, write you cards and give you poems. They will also be moved by receiving a nice compliment or written acknowledgment. 2. Physical Touch: They tend to initiate physical contact and closeness. They will want to hug you hello and hug you goodbye. They will touch you when they talk and want to sit close while watching a program. While walking down the street they may want to link arms, hold hands, or walk hip to hip. They may relax and feel happiest within your embrace. 3. Acts of Service: They tend to put a lot of effort into doing things for you. They will want to help out, lighten your load, and take things off your plate. If you talk about something that needs to get done, they will often volunteer or may take the initiative to do it for you without your asking them. They will think about you and how they can help. When someone goes out of their way to do something nice for them, they will feel extra special and feel that they were worth the effort. 4. Quality Time: They tend to be very present when hanging out. They give you good eye-contact and are very good listeners. They will see the time together as special and protect the quality of connection, by keeping distractions to a minimum. They rarely multitask when spending time together and will typically prefer one-on-one time opposed to group gatherings. When someone drops what they are doing to be available, they feel important, cared for, and like they really matter. 5. Gifts: They tend to give a lot of little gifts…framed photos, trinkets, and mementos. They may be sentimental about objects that represent a shared experience or family history (i.e. a shell found on the beach together). They may collect things or appreciate high-quality items. They will buy gifts to celebrate life events and milestones. When receiving a thoughtful gift, they will feel especially cared for and may cherish the gift as a symbol of love. Take the Love Language quiz. MENTIONED: The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman (book) Love Language Quiz (website) ERP 011: How Technology Impacts Our Relationships (podcast) The Sex Starved Marriage – TED Talk TRANSCRIPT: Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: ERP 089: How to use Love Languages to strengthen connection [Transcript] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or doing relationship coaching work with me.

HOW TO OVERCOME HURT IN A RELATIONSHIP These are my Empowered Relationship podcast show notes. Be sure to listen to the full episode to hear stories, examples, and more tips. Over the last few weeks, I have been addressing a listener’s question. She essentially asked, “What do you do when you have gotten into a pattern of not avoiding the Nine Destructive Behaviors in relationship conflict? Also, how do you deal with past hurts, in this regard.” To answer her question, I first addressed The Most Important Ingredient To Shifting Conflicts. In my next podcast, I talked about Being The Best You Can Be In Relationship. Today, I am discussing How To Repair & Resolve Hurt In Relationship. FORGIVENESS Forgiveness can seem like a vague, fluffy, and confusing term. WHAT DOES FORGIVENESS REALLY MEAN? Forgiveness is like cleaning the windshield to your heart. Often, we are walking around with resentments, grudges, and bitterness, which gets in the way of our ability to be open, present, and happy in a relationship. Arlene F. Harder writes, “To forgive another person does not mean you will forget what happened or that the person is not responsible for what he did or that you need to bring him back into your life. To forgive another doesn’t even need to mean the other person knows you’ve forgiven him or her. To forgive another simply means you no longer allow another person’s actions or words to cause you resentment, anger and pain. To forgive means you acknowledge that while you would have preferred the other person to act or speak differently, you accept that person just as he is. To not forgive another means you continue to hold onto your resentment, anger and pain over another’s actions by essentially demanding the other person be someone other than who that person knew (or knows) how to be.” TIME TO GRIEVE: When something upsetting happens, it is natural, healthy, and important to give yourself adequate time to feel your emotions. Usually, people take a few hours to a few days for smaller issues and up to several months for bigger grievances. At some point, you may notice your emotional process switch from feeling genuinely sad and upset to feeling resentment and bitterness. While anger can be an important part of the grieving process, there is a difference between being genuinely angry and holding a grudge. If you notice that you are harboring ill feelings towards someone, you may be letting the issue impact your life negatively. Resentments, bitterness, and grudges can overshadow your life- tainting your ability to be happy, positive, and healthy. 1. WHAT ARE YOU HOLDING ON TO? What is getting in the way of your ability to love fully or openly? What is getting in the way of your ability to feel positive and happy in your relationship? What interactions or experiences do you still have issue with? Write a list of resentments and hurts. Do you notice any themes? 2. WHAT RESENTMENTS, EXPECTATIONS, ATTACHMENTS, OR BELIEFS DO YOU HAVE ABOUT THE ISSUE? What are your take aways (i.e. beliefs)? Examples: “You shouldn’t express your anger like that?” “You are too sensitive. I can bring up anything with you.” “You are looking out for yourself. I don’t trust you.” “You care more about your way and being right. You don’t really care about me.” 3. WHAT DO YOU NEED IN ORDER TO MOVE FORWARD? TO BE STRONGER? Forgiveness exercise, by Arlene F. Harder. Acceptance. Boundaries. New agreements. New understanding. 4. BE OPEN TO A NEW PERSPECTIVE. By practicing forgiveness or acceptance, you may see the person in a different light. By practicing forgiveness or acceptance, you may see the situation in differently. New awareness. 5. COME TO TERMS. Release attachment. Forgive for Good. The Sunflower: On the Possibilities and Limits of Forgiveness (Newly Expanded Paperback Edition). Accept. Let go of what no longer serves (surrender). Assume new learning and perspective If you are too focused on the past, you cannot live fully in the present. Forgiveness is a practice. You do not need to let upsetting incidents stay with you forever. You can develop more skill in dealing with hurts and resentments moving forward. I would love to hear your thoughts. Do you have points to add to the conversation? Please leave me a comment below. Mentioned: Utilize the power of a “Do Over,” Next week’s topic is How To Clear Issues With Your Partner. If you have a topic that you would like me to discuss or a situation that you would like me to speak to, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here. Thank you so much for your interest in how to overcome hurt in a relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review if you would be willing to click here. Thank you! 

Raise your hand if you can relate to this statement: “I can easily get so caught up a project that it becomes the only thing I think about all the time.” Examples: You've started a new personal project, and when you're at your work or when you're with your family, all you can think about […]

Plenty of us have a problem room in our house, a space that is to waste, which we could be using for something important to do with our professional, creative or personal development. To reference another recording about using one candle to wake up a room that feels stuck or lifeless, this message is about speeding up the whole process by using lots of candles in the same problem room. There are many little sections of a room where different stuff is kept. Each of these sections build up with more issues over time, therefore, each of these sections needs a separate little candle near them to clear the stuck energy. Examples: You could have lots of unsorted stuff in cupboards- place a candle or two near there; There might be draws of receipts that need organising- place a candle near there; You might have some important folders that have gone unopened for ages- place a candle near there; There might be shelves that are stacked up so heavily with heaps of different things- place a candle or two near there... and so on. In every part of the room where there's an issue, place a candle nearby. It doesn't have to be a room that is jam packed with stuff, it could be a room that feels uncomfortably empty- put some candles in the centre of the room, in the corners and near the windows and doors. The energy of the fire will start burning up the old energy straight away. I had just one candle burning in my problem room for a half day, almost every day for about 4 to 6 weeks. One morning after about 6 weeks, I was struck! I had to bring it to order straight away! When I'd finished, I looked back at it and felt proud. I couldn't remember when I'd last seen it so usable and spacious. If one candle can do that, imagine what 5 to 10 candles in one room can do! The more candles in a room, the faster the clearing, attending to issue, sorting and organising will naturally happen. The room becomes so much easier to deal with. You'll notice yourself want to get your life moving with the help of many candles in the same problem room.