Dial H For Hunks

Follow Dial H For Hunks
Share on
Copy link to clipboard

A self help show for hunks-to-be made by hunks-in-training. Learn how to get your dick right, stop dressing like an absolute unit, and maybe remember how to read a goddamn book. We try to keep it light and funny but like all men we fail much more than we succeed.

Fat Whippet


    • Sep 26, 2020 LATEST EPISODE
    • infrequent NEW EPISODES
    • 1h 58m AVG DURATION
    • 76 EPISODES


    Search for episodes from Dial H For Hunks with a specific topic:

    Latest episodes from Dial H For Hunks

    A Million Wigger Batmans

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 26, 2020 127:28


    Panic in the Sand! So sayeth the hunks this week as they find themselves ensconsed in the rumblings and chatter of one Ibram Khan, a Pakistani man with the lofty goal of castrating every sex offender within his country. We then take a skip over to Iran to mourn the needless whipping to death of courageous wrestler and activist Navid Afkari. Hopefully he is suplexing virgins in heaven. Finally the hunks get a chance to weigh in on that whole country-being-on-fire situation. Just cuz Cali is burning doesn't mean your boiz can't be a lil' spicy tho. ALL THAT AND MORE THAN YOU PEASANTS DESERVE LOCKED WITHIN THIS VERY EPISODE I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF LISTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Greetings from the Republic of Condo

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 26, 2020 95:29


    Disclaimer: This episode was recorded before a lightning strike to the main editing PC caused a temporary lapse in production. Jokes may be subject to temporal displacement Those darn witch doctors in Sudan are up to their old tricks again! Frot not, the hunks are here to put the kibosh on the clit-chopping and bring dance back to the war-torn country. In bleaker news than genital mutilation, Eric Andre put out the worst standup set of the year and we review it so you don't have to. Finally the hunks would like to pay respects to a true hunk of legend: Grant Imahara. We pray he is busting god's myths in heaven and wish his family the best. ALL THAT AND MORE THAN YOU PEASANTS DESERVE IN TH

    Bill Gates Is Stealing Fetuses for 5G

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 29, 2020 139:05


    We lost. The subreddit is gone. All the subreddits are gone. Hogwarts has been compromised. Ubisoft has been compromised. It's all over. There is only Zuck now.

    Bullets Are For Bouncin'

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 28, 2020 157:13


    Friend of the show Chris joins us in these turbulent times to talk about how the honkies are scrambling over how exactly to appease ' The Blacks'. Don't listen to this if you CAN NOT handle REAL people being REAL. Nick explains what it means to have Gusher's come out in support. Chris tears apart South Korean cinema ONCE AND FOR ALL! Marc leaves to smoke a cigarette in the middle of the episode! All that and more on this week's jampacked episode. Dude News: Mel Gibson claims infant blood drinking is happening in Hollywood Defund Atlanta Sonic the Hedgehog is still movie of the year I started watching Drag Race Cancel Yale Cancel China

    I'm Done With This Disabled Orphan

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 25, 2020 104:18


    You can't just adopt Chinese children and return them when your Youtube fantasies don't work out. If you disagree maybe YOU are a piece of shit, you enabling rape apologist. How can you stand there while the Pedophilic New World Order claims your future for the price of a polar bear's ill-gotten cocaine? Make a change! Be the Fire Truck! Scumbag of the Week: Myka Stauffer Featured Hunk: The People of Minneapolis Hunk History: Joan of Arc is Burned 1431 1848 Mexico ratifies treaty giving US; New Mexico, California & parts of Nevada, Utah, Arizona & Colorado in return for $15 million 1987 North American Philips Company unveils compact disc video

    Spotify Ruins the Internet

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 25, 2020 100:50


    In this installment of this terrible show, the gang shits it up about how Spotify dropped 9 figures into Joe Rogan's lap and proceeded to destroy our American values. Dude News Joe Rogan goes to Spotify Joe Biden says I'm not black Keemstar v. H3H3 The Snyder cut will be released China is taking Hong Kong Hunk History 1543 Nicolaus Copernicus publishes proof of a sun-centered solar system. He dies just after publication. 1844 Samuel Morse taps out the first telegraph message. 1930 Amy Johnson becomes the first woman to fly from England to Australia.

    Certified Geniuses

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 24, 2020 140:29


    These quarantine episodes are terrible and I'm sorry.

    How to Evoke Hokaido

    Play Episode Listen Later May 28, 2020 152:18


    Reprehensible trite dribble shit spoken by less than idiots.

    The Glory Holes Are Closed!

    Play Episode Listen Later May 28, 2020 121:58


    These quarantine episodes are absolute trash

    We're Bringing Steve Jobs Back!

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 2, 2020 95:05


    Life as we knew it has ground to a halt. That gives you no excuse, especially if you've been laid off, to not listen to the hunks as they guide our nation through these trying times. Featured Hunk: The Brain Eating Zombie of Steve Jobs Scumbag of the Week: Everyone on the internet Dude News: There is no more pasta E3 is cancelled Tom Hanks has corona Bill Gates fucks off for real Andrew Gillum is found having drug sex

    RATFUCK 2020

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 21, 2020 82:23


    Kendrick Lamar launched a Ponzi Scheme and all I got was this lousy t-shirt! That's right, the hunks are back to unshackle your mind from the bounds of conformity and give you the tools necessary to maximize your truest reality. If you don't know what that means, it'll cost you $60 to learn more. In other news, the Primary is all but wrapped up and our boy Bernie failed to defeat the congealed fleshy centrist conglomerate of KloButtiBidenBerg. As the virus passes over your household and you decide which of your children deserve the dignity of your final bullets, listen to this to keep just a little bit of the sanity we used to have. Featured Hunking: pg Lang Scumbag of the Week: Joe Biden Dude News: Lil Uzi album Boreds of Prey Corona is cancelling everything No plastic in New York Google Ratfucks Developers

    Chinese New Years is Cancelled!

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 28, 2020 89:14


    Well it looks like this pandemic has up and caused China to cancel the New Year. As a result the hunks will be looking back at a failed year of movies. If you wanna appreciate film without participating in the pedophilic systemic exploitation of children then forget the Oscars and cram this in your head.

    Johnny Depp May Hit Women

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 19, 2020 138:25


    Featured Hunk: Johnny Depp slaps Amber Heard around in court Scumbag of the Week: Rush Limbaugh gets the cancer he deserves Dude News: Bieber has lyme's disease Orlando Brown says Nick Cannon sucked his dick Spotify is ruining podcasting Manalytics: Engrish speakers know they sound funny Every elephant needs xanax Viagra makes your vision blue-er The average man can beat up 2.6 women

    Trapped in a Fiberglass Tomb

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 12, 2020 117:21


    The Hunks are in shambles. The World keeps turning. Featured Hunk: Kobe is dead! Scumbag of the Week: The Coronavirus lives! Dude News: England has left the chat Chi-Fi has ruined my life I was scammed by Nick Cage Buying a new phone Manalytics: Scientist chill beer to 12 * 10^-7 degrees Kelvin Your first virus encounter affects your entire life House plants don't clean your air Huge Yale study shows kids hate school

    Little People, Big Crimes

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 27, 2020 113:07


    It seems our friend Wee Man has found himself in a touch of hot water as he admits on camera to criminal sexual dalliances with Carlos Mencia. Criss Angel makes an appearance to leave no mind unfreaked. Some limpdick youtuber tries to overcome his erectile dysfunction by disgracing Egyptian artifacts. Finally, nobody ever needs to hear about Star Wars ever again. Drink deep fuckers, this one is for you Featured Hunk: Brad Williams Scumbag of the Week: Vitaly Zdorovetskiy Dude News: Star Wars is done Conner McGregor is back Criss Angel freaks minds Manalytics: Less Sex, More Menopause! Soybean oil makes you fat and potentially stupid There are way more homeless than we know Being rich gives you about 9 more years of life

    Soccer Kicks to a Child's Stomach

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 19, 2020 122:25


    Featured Hunk: Unborn Musk/Grimes Hybrid Scumbag of the Week: Cynthia Baker Hell Yeah's: Iranian WarCraft 3 U-Haul tests employees for nicotine Hell No's: Australian Arson Baloney Manalytics: Vapes have done been bad for you maybe Scientists discover the Fentanyl of Weed Fat Women have Stupid Sons Trump makes people crave hamburders Alcohol death doubles in 20 years

    The Scummy Award

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 11, 2020 131:26


    Confucius once said "For every yingle there is a yangle" and that has never been more true than today. For each display of hunking achievement that improved the world, another equally shitty avatar served to cast mankind into degeneracy. Your hunks, Nick Kenji and Marc, go over the last year of scumbaggery to determine who was the biggest piece of absolute trash to walk the Earth in the year of 2019.

    The Hunk of the Fecking Year Awards

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 29, 2019 104:45


    Join us as we recap all the hunks of the past year and decide who will win the coveted Golden Foreskin

    Killing Children, Fucking Dogs

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 20, 2019 106:59


    We've all been here before. We will be back here again. Featured Hunk: UPS Driver Frank Ordonez Scumbag of the Week: Lisa Snyder Dude News: Jeff Bezos and Elon are the last Supervillians Allegra Chicken Tom Holland cries like a little baby Onioson abuse video comes out Manalytics: Eat More Good India needs less rice Peanuts and eggs for babies Everyone is full of plastic Magic Weight Loss Juice

    My Wife's Boyfriend Won't Stand for This

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 10, 2019 131:38


    Smoke up nerds. Featured Hunk: Angry Video Game Nerd reviews Spawn Scumbag of the Week: Destiny comes out as a cuckold / Onision gets banned from Patreon Shouts Out: Hasbro buys Entertainment One claiming control of Boston Peppa Pig Baha Men Death Row Records Hell No's: KPop Rapists Vic Mignona loses his case against Funimation Lowtax's Wife ran off Manalytics: Women more likely to survive stroke, have bad lives after Men are getting raped Smoke weed for headaches

    You Can't Even Eat 50 Eggs

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 27, 2019 170:28


    A man is dead and we are all to blame. What killed him you ask? Hubris, along with 41 hardboiled eggs and the promise of an honest $22 in your pocket. Featured Hunks: Subhash Yada dies eating eggs Scumbag of the Week: Kodak Black is done / Kanye Joel Osteen Crossover Shouts Out: Laser Pointers in Chile Hell Nos: Washed Up World Tour Apple Launching New Shows Google Stadia Woman almost kills self with Ass Science GameFreak ruins the worlds most valuable IP Disney+ launches for idiots The Mandalorian Manalytics: Keto combats the flu Scientists beat Down Syndrome in animals OBJECTIVE REALITY DOESN'T EXIST Eligibility for weight-loss surgery gets easier

    Kidnap This!

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 15, 2019 138:48


    A school shooter is hugged out of his chance in the history books. A husband and wife in Louisiana decide to start making their own porn, with a twist! A man jerks off with his own shit. I CAN'T MAKE THIS UP PEOPLE. Slam this episode in your ears or risk being left out forever. Featured Hunk: Keanon Lowe hugs it out Scumbag of the Week: Dennis and Cynthia Perkins Zuckertroll Shouts Out: Joker Breaks Records Manalytics: Scientists propose that men are funnier than women America continues to be Hell for black people Google quantums upon us Crabs are smort

    We've Gotta Make It Sexy

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 8, 2019 103:08


    The Hunks meet this week to break down a god damn hero. Shinjiro Koizumi is over there in Japan trying to solve the birthing crisis and climate change in one fell swoop. Elsewhere, the Mexican government just lost a shootout and were forced to set El Chapo's son free from arrest. We then take you to North Korea, where each citizen has been asked to collect 220 lbs of shit a month for the bountiful harvest to come. Times are hard y'all. Featured Hunk: Shinjiro Koizumi Scumbag of the Week: Ovidio Guzman Shouts Out: Liam Glinane and Raymond Wang Matty B Manalytics: The shit quotas in North Korea are untenable Potatoes for stamina Blue light is bad as fuck Grapeseed extract unfucks fruit All this and more than you deserve on this weeks episode! You can find show clips at @DialHforHunks on Instagram or peep the twitter for jokes @DialAHunk or Email us hunky shit or corrections at dialhunks@gmail.com

    Hunks vs China: The Battle for America

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 2, 2019 163:14


    Only we brave Eagles can protect you from the golden dragon to the East Manalytics: Walk fast or die young Smoking even 5 cigarettes a day is retarded Orgasms make sex bad American vaping

    The Joker Episode

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2019 115:48


    It's the thick of Joker Appreciation Month and the boys haven't taken the time to show you how they got these scars Hunks Yeahs: Musk buys BostonDynamics Hunk Nos: Snorting PreWorkout Manalytics: Apes possess theory of mind Anti-Feminists fake orgasms more ExoSkelebones are coming Some people seek anxiety

    We Men Are Problem Solvers

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2019 92:45


    Nick and Kenji talk trash on rappers and Greta Thunberg

    Taste Like Caveman Pussy

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 11, 2019 88:24


    The boys are back to tell you what that flava do. Kenji tells us the worst story ever and we reminisce about dating scene girls. Manalytics: A Monkey heart is a bad heart Bacteria that can ferment alcohol in your stomach Scientist attempt to deduce if Denisovan girl was hot or not

    Pringles For Algernon

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 4, 2019 105:43


    Todd Palin can't take it anymore! Pringles Boy goes blind for our sins. Umbridge is drawn with England and China and we are the only ones, THE ONLY DAMN ONES, who can make any sense of it all. Manalytics: Vegans have strokes Tea is good for brain Kill for Fame Apply Fish to babies All this and more than you deserve on this weeks episode! You can find show clips at @DialHforHunks on Instagram or peep the twitter for jokes @DialAHunk or Email us hunky shit or corrections at dialhunks@gmail.com

    EP46 - Pringles for Algernon

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 3, 2019 105:44


    Todd Palin can't take it anymore! Pringles Boy goes blind for our sins. Umbridge is drawn with England and China and we are the only ones, THE ONLY DAMN ONES, who can make any sense of it all.   Manalytics: Vegans have strokes Tea is good for brain Kill for Fame Apply Fish to babies All this and more than you deserve on this weeks episode! You can find show clips at @DialHforHunks on Instagram or peep the twitter for jokes @DialAHunk or  Email us hunky shit or corrections at dialhunks@gmail.com   

    Suicide Prevention Month Presents

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 27, 2019 101:15


    It's Suicide Prevention Month and I would bet my favorite noose you haven't done a damn thing about it. It's high time you filled the bath with ice water, get out mommies razor, and cut into this episode. Our featured Hunk is Alec Holowka, a game developer behind 'Night in the Woods'. He killed himself in response to an impending internet lynch mob and as seasoned bully analysts the Hunks are here to come to terms with the harder questions like "Did we want this" and "Is Zoe Quinn the most successful bully?" Manalytics: Hunks find Earth-like planet Chimps try to console mother chimp Astronauts mix cement in space Convictions make you less healthy Low confidence in math makes your life worse Kids that are single totally are fine so stop worrying about it

    EP45 - Suicide Prevention Month Presents

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 26, 2019 101:16


         It's Suicide Prevention Month and I would bet my favorite noose you haven't done a damn thing about it. It's high time you filled the bath with ice water, get out mommies razor, and cut into this episode. Our featured Hunk is Alec Holowka, a game developer behind 'Night in the Woods'. He killed himself in response to an impending internet lynch mob and as seasoned bully analysts the Hunks are here to come to terms with the harder questions like "Did we want this" and "Is Zoe Quinn the most successful bully?" Manalytics:  Hunks find Earth-like planet Chimps try to console mother chimp Astronauts mix cement in space Convictions make you less healthy Low confidence in math makes your life worse Kids that are single totally are fine so stop worrying about it

    Apply The Sacred Ointment

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 26, 2019 121:44


    This week our Featured Hunk is Nick Rakieta or more affectionately "Nicky Rackets". In the course of him defending the voice of Broly, the legendary supersaiyan, from absolute legal ruination he uncovers a tape of the Z-fighters. The content of that tape is the subject of this episode. Tune in fuckers! Manalytics: College kids keep getting depressed You can always get stronk Sex or die

    EP44 - Apply The Sacred Ointment

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 12, 2019 121:45


    This week our Featured Hunk is Nick Rakieta or more affectionately "Nicky Rackets". In the course of him defending the voice of Broly, the legendary supersaiyan, from absolute legal ruination he uncovers a tape of the Z-fighters. The content of that tape is the subject of this episode. Tune in fuckers! Manalytics: College kids keep getting depressed You can always get stronk Sex or die

    EP43 - Only You Can Save the Sponyverse

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 3, 2019 133:45


    It's a hot ass week with your hot ass hosts, the Hunks, the bring you the piping hot hunk ass episode! My postman sweats his balls off each day and we are putting his nuts and the A/C on blast. Erstwhile in other parts of the globe, Connor McGregor takes out his aggression towards his absent father on an unsuspecting whiskey drinker. Hopefully there was enough liquor left in the glass to offer a drink to the kid that is in a coma after being bodyslammed for not loving America.  All this and more than you deserve on this weeks episode! You can find show clips at @DialHforHunks on Instagram or peep the twitter for jokes @DialAHunk or  Email us hunky shit or corrections at dialhunks@gmail.com  Manalytics: Taller men get more cancer People who take selfies are universally disliked Hand dryers are too damn loud and they are lying about them  

    EP42 - Unironically Kill Cops. Ironically.

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 22, 2019 120:07


    Our dork ass birthright was stolen from us. That's right, snookered from neath your powdered nose. The thief in question is one Adi Shankar, who has successfully orchestrated a hostile takeover of the Castlevania franchise. A move so bold it makes him our featured hunk this week. In other news Marc invents a new N-word, Nick continues to be outraged about the internet, and Kenji continues to assume we are hopeless idiots who have fallen out of touch.    Manalytics this week: ED linked to not working hard no mo’ Dementia costs Earth $1tril a year Foreskins can regrow teeth  

    EP41 - Chicago Says "No Cripples Allowed!"

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 15, 2019 115:27


    WARNING: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS NUCLEAR LEVELS OF CUCKOLDRY!   Weakness is the theme of this episode. Weak men doing weak pathetic gestures hoping to dignify their position in the face of some uncaring master. Let us not mince words here, there are genuine acts of treason that occur within. Our featured hunk is Khrystian Collins, a man subject to the Ohio penal system for the lofty crime of turning down sex on the hottest day of the year. He gets taken in by a traitor to his species. The hunks are still in pursuit of the details of his whereabouts. We then move on to the shitstain security at Lollapalooza. These milk drinking assholes fail to do their ONE JOB and take it out on the only vessel available. That's right, they go for the disabled kid. SCUMBAGS. Manalytics: Poker belongs to the machines now Bugs Hurt ⅕ Women do opioids while pregnant   All this and more than you deserve on this weeks episode! You can find show clips at @DialHforHunks on Instagram or peep the twitter for jokes @DialAHunk or  Email us hunky shit or corrections at dialhunks@gmail.com 

    EP40 - The President's Favorite Anime

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 7, 2019 151:57


    Put your mouth guard in for this episode cuz the hunks come out swinging. In this summertime dumpster fire Nick, Kenji and Marc are joined by prominent Youtuber SemajTV. Once the gang gathers and the dongs get unsheathed they get down to fighting about what we always do, THE FATE OF THE CHILDREN OF THE WORLD!  I will warn now that there is an extra spicy half hour of the show where petulant dickishness hits dangerous levels so if you haven't the heart for it skip to 1:00:00 to get back to the fun and games. We feature Xu Xiaodong and his struggles with the Chinese Regime. Jeffrey Eppstein tries to take the cowards way out. Bernie Sanders watches Elfen Lied.   All this and more in this weeks episode.    Email us at dialhunks@gmail.com for corrections or omissions Follow us on Instagram @dialhforhunks for show clips       

    EP39 - The Secret Life of StingRays

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 30, 2019 159:23


    Steve Irwin LIVES!!! Bautista calls the Rock a pencil-dick nerd! We drink bath water and MEET VIRGINIA just like the song! This has been a jam packed week for hunk news and this is the only place you fools are gonna get it   Hunk Facts: Adderal is for Sex Addicts Eating while standing fucking sucks Japanese Hunks transport porn into the center of a diamond Brain-link scientists complete the first Brain to Brain transfer foo!

    EP38 - Live from Daddies Basement

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 11, 2019 119:14


    Nick took a trip, Heart of Darkness style, into the depths of LA to get some bad news. Likewise Kenji took a trip to Japan to compete in their Wacky Races. Marc mostly stayed in place, but during that time there were troubling events in the Manosphere Japanese women are under legal attack maybe? Press F, Dog the Bounty Hunter has died  Bieber v. the Cruise Missile Ben Affleck is worst Batman   Men are over. Doomed to end up with tags on our ears and chips in our necks. We had a good run of things but I guess we need to pack it up and head home. Little to do but choose what flavor kibble our overlords intend to feed us, our last feigning act of freedom.  But things could be different. You can fight the good fight. Strive for the better tomorrow. Listen to this goddamn episode!    

    EP37 - This Pussy Has Me In Chains

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 12, 2019 132:51


    You've gotta make your STD's work for you. That's the theme of this episode. A small bout of herpes ain't nothing to get your dick in a knot and the hunks, Nick Kenji and Marc, are here to teach you how to navigate having an infectious crotch in style. The boys end up flipping shit about lore for a minute off the cusp of a new Terminator movie that's dusting off our man Arnold for one last ride.  In Hunk History: June 11th a rack of brown people were apparently come upon by honkies all over the world on this day. Thomas Jefferson struggled to draft a Declaration of Independence between slurps of that ill-gotten African gash, erstwhile James Cook informed the Aborigines that they wouldn't be getting their stupid reef back any time soon.  Hunk Facts: Monkeys are developing Emojis Ass cancer, look out! Blueberries go in the mouth Wood is wood If you like what we do here check out the Instagram @DialHForHunks   

    EP36 - Our Stolen Zest

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 4, 2019 120:30


    The hunks return to make the butter churn this week. Nick Marc and Kenji decide to make Tyler the Creator's dick their business but not before paying tribute to Rob Pattinson for taking up the lost cowl of the Batman for an upcoming DC miscarriage.  Shouts out to the gay hunks in Taiwan for being able to get married now and suffer with the rest of us. This one is for you brudda's. Let it be known that the hunks stand in firm opposition of the One China policy, for whoever was asking In Hunk History: May 28th we have a few new entrants. Alan Turing gets the respect that he deserves as we forgive him for his buggery that he committed against the crown. In a surprising twist the hunks even do the unthinkable, making Joan of Arc an Honorary Hunk. You get em' Joan   Hunk Facts: Tomatoes have become shit Men try to make fuck more Nixon committed high crookery Buy Enemy Sauce Today!  

    EP35 - An Earnest Defense of Pigs; Happy Birthday Mr. Dahmer

    Play Episode Listen Later May 22, 2019 120:48


    Dispatched to you directly from the heart of the Wu-Tang Shaolin Community College Amphitheater, Nick Kenji and Marc are here to bring you the story of gentrification through the ineloquent eyes of idiots. Nick and Kenji nearly come to blows over hog vernacular. A cadaver brothel is proposed. Marc and Kenji claim that Sci-fi and Fantasy are the same thing. Friendships are destroyed and left irrecoverable.  In Hunk History: May 21st it was Jeffrey Dahmer's birthday so shouts out. We also celebrate the birth of horror movies and the death of Reggae as we know it.  Hunk Facts: Bike lanes are bullshit Adults are horny for that weird Don't give people bad news It's too daggum hot 

    EP34 - Kenji's Island of Fuck

    Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2019 102:51


    If you are on a plane reading this then goodbye my fair idiot, because this is PLANE CRASH AWARENESS MONTH. After Boeing shafted anyone trying to make options calls against their stock, a Russian airliner goes down and burns up more than a fair share of hunks in the process. We also discuss how none of this would have went down if Kenji's boys had been on the scene.  Assuming your plane works you would be well served to take a trip to Kenji's Island of Lego based rectal pleasure. I promise the jellybeans are fine. Snap into this week's Hunk History as we chart it up about France's weird string of child kings.  Hunk Facts: The Depressotron thinks you look sad emoji Prettier women have happier marriages Sunscreen is ruining everything Black dick is important at a young age

    EP33 - How to Spoil Endgame and Drink Piss at the Same Time

    Play Episode Listen Later May 8, 2019 135:01


    The cats out of the bag, if you haven't seen the big movie yet you are a fucking loser. Or so Disney would like you to believe. But we hung with you before you were cool and we'll be with you long after.  As such Nick, Marc, and Kenji lend you their scrotes to jabber bout roasties, retirement, and racist jokes.  Across the pond a spywhale has defected from Mother Russia and we postulate if they have enough polonium to spike every fish in Norway. One of our favorite news outlets tries to tell us the score on single dudes. Remember those pickup artists with the fucking tophats and shit? We bring that shit back my dudes. It' s great.  Hunk Facts: Diet soda is kill Indian Math is the most ruthless of the Maths Fat people sure can drink drinks at Sonic's We should still not forgive the sinking of the Lusitania resulting in the death of 1928 individuals. Never forget. 

    EP32 - Marc's Super Secret Swastika Society

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 30, 2019 124:02


    The creator of the Bigfoot Pizza is no longer here to protect us from Nintendo's iron grasp. The Japanese government uses ramen noodles to trick old people into giving up their agency. A man eats a kitty litter burrito. These are three absolutely true statements that will be forever shrouded in mystery unless you allow the hunks, Nick Marc and Kenji, to provide you with the decoder rings at the bottom of this podcast's cereal box.  We travel back in Hunk History to this day to tell the tale of Casey Jones and those shitty olde timey trains. Also on this day, King Galerius decided that those Christians could finally open Chick Fil-As in ancient Rome, and some asshole went and discovered Florida a few hundred years back. What a dick. Hunk Facts: Charles Dickens was a real motherfucker Chrysler hurt the American taxpayers Spain owes some apologies Assassin's Creed 2>Notre Dame

    EP31 - I've Got a Blackhole for Ya

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 26, 2019 81:14


    Everyone is in the media talking about heavenly bodies while the hunks are having petty infighting driven by sexual misgivings. Nick attempts to salute the people who helped push science forward while Kenji and Marc shred his credibility. We go back in time to see Big Dick Brian Boru liberate Ireland. Eve Online accuses Americans of trickery. Lastly Juul is kill. All that and more on this weeks episode!   Hunk Facts: Testosterone is for lovers 9 year-olds have never been more suicidal Traveling to space makes you a dork Cops smoke mids

    EP30 - Long Dongs, Short Eps

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 18, 2019 91:41


    I don't know what happened between Kenji and Jon Cho but Nick and Marc are stewing in their seats in solidarity in this weeks episode. Joe Biden gets hit with the #MeToo firehose after 2 decades of innocuous kisses that nobody wanted. Jeff Bezos makes some clones and Isreal gets high as balls. Pornhub makes a play for the identity of all the hunks in the UK and seems to be pursing their bony fingers at a job well done thanks to Article 13. Finally the hunks talk about the Joker movie and how much of a letdown it must be. Hunk Facts: Read to your kids to make them not stupid Skrillex kills mosquitoes MDMA makes old mice act young Missing link between land mammals and whales found by peruvian hunks Shit in Spanish Weed Neurotic people can’t focus on the present

    EP29 - Space Sluts

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 11, 2019 121:38


    Cocaine lands Pierre Taki on the wrong side of the Japanese government and nobody knows if his Denki Grooves will be enough to keep his head from getting the axe. Elsewhere, some fun-lovin' sloot of a cosmonaut aboard the International Space Station is dropping herpes on American starboys. Can the good men at NASA keep space from being filled with puss-filled sores by the time we make it to Mars? Lastly, Kenji and Marc hold Nick accountable for showing them the New Zealand footage. Quick aside, Xiaolin Showdown was never good but Jackie Chan Adventures still slaps. Hunk Facts: Hunking around near pesticides makes your baby Rainman Being afraid of being arrested can get you arrested The zoo is pretty fun There is wayyyy too much incest porn out there

    EP28 - Now Banned from All Countries

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 3, 2019 135:43


    I hope you have your passport this episode because the Hunks are gonna take you around the world yet again. First we give a dramatic reading of the New Zealand Shooter's manifesto and dissect just how cucked this kid was. Then they toss around some meatballs discussing what went down this week in Italy regarding them pesky children. Finally we commit the high crime of blasphemy against the Russian government as the hunks send their energy to hunks to the east living the repressed lives that we are gonna be facing down in the west soon enough.  Nick screams about James Gunn. Marc screams about live action pokemon. Kenji reveals himself as the only John Woo's Stranglehold fan still breathing. Too Human is mentioned more than it deserves.  Hunk Facts: Videogames are serious business Anime adaptations are screwed Italian kids eat lead paint Do not commit untruths against the Russian government, comrade

    EP27 - Christopher Columbus: Chinese Emperor

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 27, 2019 136:11


    Elvis Presley is cancelled! You heard it here last nerds. Time to throw your rhinestone suits into the grave you fished it out of because the hunks are here and you need to dress to impress. Kenji has a BIONICLE fueled rage fit at Nick and Marc as they put on the rose colored spectacles and dream of Medabots. Also friend of the show Justin is in to give his occasional squirts of insight.  Vic Mignogna might be a handsy man. Time will need to tell. The kid from School of Rock gets busted with a halfbrain scheme. We jump in the chronogyro and check out some Hunk History. And the secret of giz is revealed to the curious and wandering mind. All this and more on this episode of Dial H for Hunks. Peep the Instagram @dialh4hunks Hunk Facts: HBO is over 50,000,000 Elvis fans can be pedophiles Human and dog sperm are more similar than different Pregnant men throw doctors curveballs

    EP26 - Pizza Cold, Fleshlight Hot

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 21, 2019 122:53


    Your chili cheese dogs were paid for with blood. Let that message be the corsage affixed to your tuxedo as peep the trim at this wine mixer of an episode. The hunks, Nick Marc and Kenji, are gonna play armchair manager and tell a few businesses in Circleville Ohio how to clean up their act. Nick and Marc see Alita Battle Angel and predict the end of creativity as we know it.  We look back at Hunk History to see what Lincoln and Robert E Lee had going on. We declare Ho Chi Minh top hunk of Vietnam because you weren't gonna get around to it. Finally we explain that its not Mufasa but the ghost of Vladimir Remek that is looking down on you.  Toilets go through windows. Yeast becomes the new weed. Women are disassociated into " Host Bodies". Conspiracy theorists are accused of petty theft. All that and more in this weeks episode of DIAL H FOR HUNKS   Hunk Facts: They are coming for you Remove your fillings Love your mother If we die by suicide, it was murder

    Claim Dial H For Hunks

    In order to claim this podcast we'll send an email to with a verification link. Simply click the link and you will be able to edit tags, request a refresh, and other features to take control of your podcast page!

    Claim Cancel