Self-Defined Human

How to stay on track even though the Internet. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

Join us for the workshop on Tuesday, November 5, 2024.Sign up here This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

Mental health is a game. Anxiety disorders are made up. You should obey teachers blindly.It took me a few minutes to get into this one, but I said some good stuff if you're patient enough to listen to the whole thing.Watch the video:* Instagram* YouTube(Free class from August 16, 2024 on Instagram) This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

I learned a new term yesterday: projective identification.The APA Dictionary of Psychology defines it as follows:“in psychoanalysis, a defense mechanism in which the individual projects qualities that are unacceptable to the self onto another individual and that person [that's YOU] internalizes the projected qualities and believes themself to be characterized by them appropriately and justifiably.”That's the real danger of the friend zone: you actually start to believe you're a friend.But, you're not a friend. You were never a friend.You're a force, a menace.Your friends have to pay for what they've done. They signed up for this friendship and now they have to suffer. Make them suffer.It's time to get out of the friend zone, to be powerful, to be who you're supposed to be, who you always were (not that they ever knew it).No more gray areas.No more wishful thinking.No more hoping that one day, they'll finally realize it.They won't realize it. They're not smart enough, they haven't done enough work, they're too lazy. They've got other stuff to worry about and it's not what you're worrying about, and it isn't what they're telling you they're worrying about.Make some tension.No more being the nice person who listens to them whine about their problems.Now is the time to BE the problem.—Michael This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

I don't know how you'll get more clients, but let's look at the truth: you are attracting, right now, the people you should be attracting.You're creating relationships, on the fly, as you go through life. Those relationships have natural momentum. You put energy out into the universe and this is who came back.If you want more clients, and people to pay you money and see you as an expert, you have to start putting out the right energy. You have to look at the results of your actions. You have to take account. Right now, you're making mistakes but you don't know what they are.But, what if you fixed those mistakes?Wouldn't it be obvious (to both of you) where the relationship should go:* a coach/client relationship?* two friends?* two enemies?Who knows?But, if you showed up as the truest version of yourself, it should be obvious to both of you. Neither one of you is an idiot. You'd see it.So, that's what you need to do instead of “marketing”.Marketing is based on the presumption that you know what you should be offering, that you've made this “thing” and you just need to go out and sell the thing.But…you haven't even tested the thing yet. You don't know what you should be offering.You've got to meet people where they're at.You don't even know what you're capable of yet. You don't know who you're capable of attracting or what you're capable of doing for them.Forget about the “ideal clients” and “customer avatars”. That's all based on arrogance, on the presumption that you know, that your fantasy is the best possible version of reality. You don't know that. But, your fantasy is based on your traumas, your hopes and dreams, and all the disappointments you've had. You don't know that's what reality should be.So, let's figure out what it should be. Let's confront reality. Let's figure out what has already happened, how we got to this point, and what mistakes we've made.Let's fix those mistakes and see how reality updates itself.That's my new vision for marketing.—MichaelP.S. I want to test out some ideas for this in the form of a 1-1 coaching program (a month-long kind of thing). It's going to be $500, but I need guinea pigs. So, if you sign up TODAY ONLY, I'll give you a 40% discount. Reply “let's do it” and I'll be in touch. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

As we all know, Taylor Swift is a great performer who makes lots of money. Everybody loves her and she's on the cover of every magazine.Why? Is it because of her looks? Her singing technique? Her guitar playing? Her piano playing? All the people she's connected to?No.But, if you want to be like Taylor Swift…(your version of it, whatever it is…you're not going to be Taylor Swift, of course…)…you've got to understand what she's doing.Her music has a message and she's determined to spread that message.Those things I listed are just tools.She uses the tools to spread the message.You can do that too. Use tools to spread a message.This isn't just a matter of communication. This goes deep into the core of your being, into the center-point of your soul, and propagates out from there.Because Taylor Swift's message is, at the core, a pure message she believes in, this is what happens:* Her body language onstage conveys the message,* Her singing and playing technique falls into place around the body language,* She looks good when she's singing,* People watching and listening get excited,* They tell their friends,* Taylor Swift makes lots of money.But, without that message at the core, that little point she can organize everything around, she has nothing.(Watch her carefully. Her eyes, her feet. Do you see anything awkward happening? I don't.)I'm not saying you need to be just like Taylor Swift.Obviously, she's a phenomenon and you're not.But, you could be a phenomenon too.(Not like that, of course. Don't get your hopes up. Come on.)But, you could be a phenomenon for the people in the room.And, if you want to get there, it would be a mistake to think you're going to improve anything without improving what's at the core. When you have that unity, your body language will reflect it.Unless you're OK with your eyes darting around, with your feet shuffling. In that case, by all means, keep doing it. But, it's not what a phenomenon does, even among 20 people.If you take an hour of your time and spend it on* improving your singing* guitar technique* your makeup* your outfit,you're just going to get a tiny change in the overall thing.But, if you spend an hour improving what's at the core, having a message and making sure every stupid little thing you do reflects that message (for the duration of the song), THEN you're going to make a huge change in the overall thing.And people will notice.—Michael This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

If you don't fix your piano playing, it will continue to sound and look the way it does. No one will ever admire it, it will inspire no one, and you'll look and sound like an amateur forever.Those are the stakes.Here's how you fix it:* Admit there's a problem.* Admit you want the problem fixed.* Be willing to be a student and submit to someone who knows more than you.* Hold them accountable.You're not capable of doing this on your own.You must be willing to be embarrassed, to be ashamed, and to be judged. You must be willing to be a nerd who cares about things no one else cares about.That's what piano is. It's not mainstream.You can't keep being a good student. You can't keep doing what you learned in school. It works for school but doesn't work for piano.Good grades get you through school but they don't get you s**t when it comes to piano. That's because piano is about hitting the right keys at the right time. No amount of praise can take the place of that.Yes, it's going to hurt emotionally, but that's the price of acquiring superpowers.I promise you it's doable.But you have to be willing to do it.$500 and we'll work together for a month.—Michael This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

You don't have to believe, but you must at least pretend. Otherwise, the placebo effect won't work and you're wasting your time and my time.You only get out what you put in.Right now, you're putting in zero. If you put in 10, you'd get out 10.So, explain.What's the deal? You don't want 10?How about 5?4?3?2?1?ANYTHING will get you something.Zero will get you nothing.You MUST pretend to believe.This is a cult. I'm the leader.You must respect me and obey my orders, without question.You're in a cult and that's how a cult works.But, this isn't a normal cult. We're online. Your active participation is required. It's not like I can steal your car keys or phone.So, it's not okay to sit on the sidelines and join in whenever you feel like it.It won't work.There will be no placebo effect and we'll just be another couple of idiots arguing on the Internet.We're better than that.Let's at least pretend we think so.—Michael This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

You think you need an environment that's 100% nurturing.No, that's not true. You're more resilient than that.Sure, it can't be 0%, but it doesn't have to be 100%.That's an idealistic fantasy. You can't have 100% nurturing.What you need is exposure.You need to face your fears.You need to do scary things.They don't have to be big, but they have to be scary.Whatever nurturing environment you need is only a container for the exposure.The exposure is the thing.You should watch the movie Top Gun. Also watch the sequel.He cured his trauma by getting back up in the air ASAP.You think that's too harsh.No.The way you're looking at “trauma” is backwards.According to you, trauma is the anxiety, the flashbacks, the guilt, the trouble sleeping, the lack of concentration. Any of these physical symptoms. Emotional symptoms.No, that's not trauma.Trauma is when you lose the ability to fly.When you learn “flying is bad” and you quit flying.When that happens, your life gets smaller. Something you used to love is now off the table. Forever.That's what they were fixing when they sent him back up. They were fixing trauma. They weren't trying to make him “feel better”.As for the rest of the symptoms: the anxiety, the flashbacks, the guilt, the trouble sleeping, the lack of concentration….they're not going away. The only thing you can do is accept them.Whatever. Doesn't matter. You're bigger than they are.But you're not bigger if your life literally gets smaller.—Michael This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

Claim:I'm generous and you're not.Proof:I'm taking a risk by calling out your behavior. I could alienate everyone else. You, on the other hand, aren't taking any risks. You're playing it safe by giving generic advice anyone could find with a 10-second Google search.See the difference? I'm taking a risk and you're not.Yes, I know what I'm asking you to do isn't comfortable. I know it doesn't feel safe. It's not supposed to.I'm asking you to take a risk:* to stand behind your own words,* to be a person of integrity,* to be the change you want to see,* to commit to values-driven actions.Yes, there's probably a better way to say this. But, you're the expert on better ways to say things, not me.So, if you believe in this message, and you want your friends to be able to believe in it, you should help me rephrase it.You should help me rephrase THIS message, not a different one.Not a message about how awesome community is.Not a message about how you're good enough just as you are.Not a message about how you should be in a flow state 24/7.But a message about how one's words should match one's actions.The message of MY path.The message of Kormanism.Let's contrast that with your path.Here's what your path leads to:* money first, deal with the human stuff later,* post whatever gets the community to give me momentum, no matter the cost of conformity, no matter the bubble, no matter whether it's a sustainable ideology,* pity over compassion,* “watch and wait” over “be the change”,* if I have a problem with the relationship, I'll just blame my partner. I don't need to take on 100% of the responsibility myself.Come on, I'm being generous.Copy me.—Michael This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

I know this doesn't feel like a good time to start a war, but we have to do this. If we don't do it now, when are we going to do it?This is the time. There's no “better” time. We're not going to wait and find a better time.We are slaves to the Classical Music Culture.The time to break free is NOW.We need to begin amassing our forces.Don't worry, we're not going to confront them directly. The CMC feeds off of insubordination. Direct confrontation won't work and it'll only make them stronger.We must use indirect means to fight back.Yes, the CMC exerts its power through shaming, belittling, and rejecting. But, their greatest weapon is more insidious than any of that. Somehow, they've gotten us to blame ourselves for everything we do wrong: every mistake, every failed audition, every miscounted measure.They've hypnotized us into doing the dirty work for them.And that's what we need to fight against.We need to do it NOW.This is about self-mastery. We need to change the way we do things.Once we do that, then we'll have the power. Then, we'll be able to do direct confrontation.But right now, we need to say NO.We must stop doing what's bad for us, and self-blame is bad for us. It's keeping us stuck and making us worse at music. It's nothing more than a distraction.They've convinced us it's “moral certitude”, or “conscientiousness”, but it's NOT. It's a distraction.We must focus on what's good.Mistakes are good.And that's exactly why the CMC taught us self-blame: when we blame ourselves, we can't make mistakes. Because we're so distracted trying to avoid mistakes. Even to the point where we'll quit and do something else.They have us exactly where they want us: in a state of fear.We must break out of the distraction.We must make the time to make mistakes.Once we do that, they can't stop us.They'll lose their power because we'll learn from our mistakes. We'll get good at music. We'll amass power and we'll overthrow the CMC. We're gonna rock that boat.Make no mistake.—Michael This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

I hate having to send emails like this, but here it is.Let's get clear on a couple of things: you don't have to pay money to be a member of the Cult of Kormanism, but you must take it seriously.This is serious work. We're changing the world.You must take it seriously.In your life, we come first.We come before your friends, your family, your work, your religion, any other spiritual practice, or anything else:* If your mother were in the hospital on her deathbed, and we call for you, you leave her side and do what we ask.* If we tell you to jump off a cliff, you jump off a cliff.* If we tell you to go door-to-door sharing the Good News, you go door-to-door and share that Good News.* If we send you a DM, you answer it.* If we send you an email, you answer it.I understand everyone has a different financial situation, so you don't have to pay money to be here.At some point, of course, you should pay money (it's called “tithing”). If you believe in this, you should pay for it. But, we're flexible with the numbers and with the “when” of all that.We're not too demanding in the monetary aspect, but, at the same time, this isn't preschool. You're an adult and you're here of your own free will. You MUST take it seriously.DO NOT FORGET: Our most valuable resource is MY attention.Don't waste it.Peace be with you,Michael This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

Last week, I asked for money.It was a hard decision and I want to tell you why.My first thought was to try getting the money by selling you something. But, that would have been manipulative, so I decided to ask for the money directly.It wasn't easy, since I tend to be hyper-independent, even pushing people away when they try to help. But, I needed help so I stood up to my fear and asked.That's why I felt so encouraged by this email from someone who gets it:“I have experienced more miracles than I could ever explain. It comes from being brave and asking! Hope others step in as well! There's always a lot more money!”Seriously, it made me cry.“It comes from being brave and asking.”Exactly.After all, asking for help is a separate skill from running a profitable business. We all know my business is a work in progress. In fact, it's currently in the R&D phase, where I'm focused on building relationships, not selling. At this point, money-grubbing would only poison it. I'll sell something later, when it's clear I can give something that the market needs.In the meantime, I need to work on the other skill: asking for help. I'm getting better at it, and the more times I ask you for help, the better I'll get.So, instead of selling something, I just asked for money.To get better at asking.To give you an opportunity to give.That's the trade I offered and I'm grateful to have people here willing to take me up on it.Still, it hurts to ask for help. I feel ashamed and embarrassed, especially after reading emails like this one:“You're begging people for money now?What happened to piano help”S**t, am I really slacking off that much???

Yes, it's cool to hate OJ. But you're better than that.Fine, sure, condemn what he did. But don't condemn him.You've done bad things, too, right? They might be minor things, but we all know the mob would go after you too if they could get away with it. That's what mobs do. They go after anybody who's “bad”.Don't be part of the mob.Don't encourage the mob.Stand up to the mob.Go against the flow. Take a risk.Choose a point of view and defend it. You get to choose what it is. You've got to articulate this stuff. Don't just do what they're doing. Take a stand. Be a leader.We, all of us, need YOUR way of seeing things.We don't need more of the normal way. We all know that script, which is why it's so easy for you to recite. But, it shouldn't be easy. It should take work and you should do that work.Something only YOU can say.I want to know what it is. I'm getting tired of the script. Please do the work.Do you know who Daryl Davis is? Don't worry, I'll tell you who Daryl Davis is. He's a black guy who goes to KKK rallies.Watch the TED talk:Be more like Daryl Davis. Stand up for something besides hate (you get to choose what). Yes, it takes work to defend it, but you need to do that work. Like I'm doing right now.Yes, you'll lose friends and you'll make enemies. But, you'll also get new friends and you'll scare the s**t out of your old enemies.That's all a good thing. Right now, your enemies don't fear you enough. And your friends love you too much. They think you're too nice. Your friends don't know you.Come on, do the work.This could be interesting.—Michael This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

I want to tell you about a new 1-1 piano program called Removing the Mask.It's 2 months long and costs $1000.In the program, you'll learn to:* stop hesitating* add emotion to your playing* ensure you've accomplished something before quitting a piece, and* understand which notes are OK to leave out.Here's how we're going to do it:Over the two months, you'll practice 4 exercises, one for each of the above outcomes:* Remove the mask* Accept your feelings* Do the minimum work* Take some f*****g risksI'll give you one assignment per week and you'll have access to me over DM.By the end, you'll have unlocked the raw materials you would use to build a real pianist. Not only that, but these same skills can be used to fix your relationships and make everyone else in your life proud to know you.So, if you think this program is right for you, let me know and I'll send you a PayPal request. Otherwise, tell me your plan for solving this on your own (be more specific than “spend more time practicing”).—MichaelP.S. If the cost is the only thing stopping you, let me know. It would be a shame to let everything go to s**t on account of numbers. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

Habit trackers are b******t. I know people who have been sober for months and months and then suddenly died from an overdose. So, streaks don't impress me.And, by the way, God isn't impressed by streaks either. He only cares about your actions one at a time.So, when your kids see you use a habit tracker, this is what they'll say:* “Mom taught me never to abandon a sinking ship.”* “Mom taught me that as long as you clock in, it's okay to check out.”When your kids watch you practice piano, they should be proud of every moment they see. Not just that you practiced. Not just that you practiced for 5 days straight. They should be proud of every movement they see you make, and they should be proud of themselves when they imitate you.They should say things like:* “I watched Mom practice piano and she was just hitting random keys like a crazy person. It sounded like s**t but it inspired me to listen to my body.”* “I saw Mom play a Chopin nocturne, full tempo, from beginning to end, even though it was too hard for her and she ignored most of the notes. It reminded me that good enough is better than perfect.”* “I heard Mom playing along with a recording of a professional. Of course she couldn't think about every single note, but she spent more time listening than playing, anyway. It taught me that I'm able to jump into a challenging environment and figure it out as I go.”* “I once saw Mom sight-read through a whole book of songs, all in one sitting. Most of it sounded awful, but she didn't care. It taught me that sometimes you just have to plow through, and to hell with everything else.”* “This one time, I saw Mom recording herself playing Moonlight Sonata, listening back, re-recording, re-listening, until it was perfect. It reminded me that I can and should hold myself accountable to meet my own standards.”* “Not only that, but I saw Mom comparing her own recording against a professional recording. Then, she re-recorded hers until the two sounded identical. It taught me that I can and should hold myself to objective standards.”So, let me ask you: have you done any of the things on this list? What lessons have your kids learned by watching you play piano?Be specific about cause and effect. We don't need more stories about the kind of person you wish you were.—Michael This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

Here's the deal: I need money tonight. I don't need a lot, and I'm embarrassed to tell you what it's for, but I need it right now.So, if you can give me money, that would be awesome.I'm not trying to sell you anything. No product or service. Right now, I just need money. Even a total of $100 (from everyone) would be super-helpful.If you give me money, I'll put you in the Hall of Fame. True, we don't have a Hall of Fame yet, but you'll go in it when we do. I'll also draw a picture for you.Seriously, it would mean a lot to me.If you're willing to help out, follow this link and you can choose an amount:https://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/R697T3QUC9R6E—Michael This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

Yesterday, on Instagram, I was chatting with a former client and she expressed some doubts about my ability to relate to beginners:“You have a masters in music. You're an expert. Somewhere along your road, someone drilled into you ‘do not hesitate'. All the things you say to your students.But when a novice is playing and learning about this terminology, you do not have to extrapolate their hesitation into a dissertation about their psyche.”On the contrary, this is entirely about your psyche.Your hesitation at the piano has nothing to do with your piano skills and everything to do with your fucked-up psychology.It has to do with a choice you're scared to make, a choice you're faced with multiple times a day.It has nothing to do with piano. Even Harry Potter had to make this choice. He had to choose between being a Muggle and being a wizard.It wasn't a one-and-done thing. It was a choice he had to make over and over again:* Was he going to stay with the family he'd known his whole life, business as usual, or hop on a motorcycle and fly off into God knows where?* Was he going to stay in the normal, predictable, physical world, where the ground is solid, or smash face-first into platform 9¾? Was he going to take that leap of faith, not knowing what would happen?* Was he going to stay on the ground or fly on a broomstick?* Was he going to let himself be bullied and let his friends be bullied, or stand up to the bully?It's the same choice, over and over again:* Was he going to play it safe and let Dumbledore handle it, or confront the most powerful evil wizard of all time?* Was he going to let himself be seduced by the image of his parents in the mirror, to fall asleep into the daydream, or snap out of it and get to work?It's the same choice.Yes, it has physical ramifications, but it's a psychological choice: do I hold back or do I go for it?Wizards don't hold back.(Wizards are a little crazy.)Muggles hold back.That's why wizards can fly, fight evil, and save the world.Wizards don't hold back.That's what magic is.It's all the same. A Harry Potter who isn't an expert at Quidditch isn't going to stand a chance against Voldemort. It's the same thing.Accountants are Muggles. Pianists are wizards.If you thought your existing personality was good enough to be a wizard, I hate to break it to you but it's not. There's a reason you can't do magic, and it's not because you haven't taken the right classes yet.It's because you hesitate, because you're afraid to go for it, because you're afraid to take off the mask, because you're afraid to leave the normal world.This problem won't solve itself until you're ready to take a leap of faith.It's a hero's journey and it's not for everyone.But, when you're ready to take that journey, the next step is to find another area of your life where you have this same problem. It isn't just about piano, so you should admit that ASAP.—Michael This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

I've been diagnosing a lot of disorders lately, and I've got another one to add to the list. It's called ADV (action-deficient verbosity).Here's an example of ADV I received in response to an offer I made to a former client:“Hey, thank you I enjoyed working with you as well and hope things are going well. At the moment with recent career changes I am not having a lot of disposable income, in the future when I scrape some together I would be happy to reach out to you as music is a worthy investment to me, so I will have to let you know when that time comes

I got this email from a former piano player:“I've given up on piano. I'm just not good enough to play the pieces I love. I took lessons from a teacher once, but he had a short temper and made me feel stupid for not knowing exactly what he wanted me to do. I'm 70 years old. I told him I just wish could play Bach like the 9-year-olds I see on YouTube, but he laughed and told me to ignore them. Finally, I leaned back and said ‘I give up.' But, it's OK. We weren't even playing pieces I wanted to play anyway.I can't play in front of people because I get nervous and tense, even in front of my wife. When I try playing from memory, I can't concentrate and all the work I did goes out the window. I found some relaxation exercises online, but they didn't help.I can't play fast. I've done arpeggio exercises I found on YouTube but they don't transfer to real pieces. When I read music, I fixate on one note at a time and can't look ahead. I got a little bit better at looking ahead, but it's still not good enough.Nowadays, I'm happier just listening to music. Piano isn't for everyone.”Let me give my diagnosis.This isn't a case of being a beginner. What we're dealing with here is NMD (narcissistic musician disorder).Here's why:* You blamed your teacher for being hard to please, instead of helping him understand why you weren't willing to trust him.* When you quit piano, instead of admitting you were frustrated, you said “eh, it's a stupid game, anyway”.* You blame mysterious, external forces like “tension” or “lack of concentration”, instead of taking responsibility for your role in the problem.* You insist you should be able to play as well as 9-year-olds on YouTube, instead of accepting that they're better than you and you should be learning from them.* When you play piano for your wife, you have a problem with the feelings that happen. You don't let yourself accept those feelings (“tension” or whatever you want to call it). You avoid the whole thing because you're unwilling to subject yourself to them. For your wife, even.* You believe random exercises you found online should be able to fix you as if you know enough to know what to look up or what the problem is.* Your solution to the problem of reading music is “looking ahead”, rather than extracting meaning from the music you're trying to read (you know, like you'd read a book?).So, I don't believe you when you say you don't want to play piano.I think what's going on here is that we have a 70-year-old with NMD who thinks he's already paid his dues. —Michael This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

Let these words sink in:fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckshitshitshitshitshitshitfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckNow, let this sink in:Your piano playing sounds like f*****g s**t because you can't even read these words without obsessing over the moral decay of society.Stop being so entitled.Do some f*****g work.—MichaelP.S. I may have a few ideas for you, but first, I've got to check something. I need to know that we're on the same page with all this theoretical s**t. What you need to do is reflect it back to me, so that I can verify.P.P.S. It's not just your piano playing. I would bet money that your relationships suffer from the same…quirks. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

A fellow trendsetter posed the following problem to me:“I've got all these great creative ideas, but when I go to do them, I get bored and quit and do something else. As a result, I never make any money because I'm not sticking around long enough to build whatever I'm trying to build.”Here's what I think: you're wrong about what's causing this.It's NOT because:* You're stressed out* You're anxious* You can't focus* You don't have creative inspiration* You don't have follow-through* You have too much ADHD* You don't have enough ideas* You have too many ideas* You have too many interestsThe problem is none of that.It's more about BPD. It's fear of abandonment. You're abandoning your work before anything gets good. You abandon it before it abandons you. Typical BPD behavior.But, work doesn't abandon you and projects don't abandon you. People abandon you. So, you're afraid of people, because you don't want to be abandoned.This is something you need to fix.Your work sucks.Do it for your work's sake.Look at it objectively, your social media posts. Things get good and then what happens? You delete all the posts. Come on.This is the definition of a boring social media account: an account with no posts. Of course you're bored. Everyone's bored. You've engineered it that way. You've guaranteed this is not a project worth sticking around for. Of course you're going to go do something more exciting.“But, Michael. It's not abandonment I have a problem with. It's conflict! I love people. As long as we're getting along, everything's great.”You know that's b******t. You know you can't be like that. You know that's not really what you want.You know how I know that? Because you're so funny when you get going and you feel safe enough to say what's on your mind.You come up with things that are funny and witty. They're not nice and they don't avoid conflict. They're actually pretty oppositional.I see that twinkle in your eye and I know you're having fun. This isn't rocket science. That's where you need to be if you want to have fun.(Of course, then you have to deal with the fact that people might leave. I think you might be overblowing those fears, but that's another topic.)You want conflict.Don't kid yourself.You're all about conflict.—MichaelP.S. If you prefer audio, you should know that the audio version of this post is recorded by me. It's not AI-generated or whatever. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

I got this Instagram DM from a future superstar:“I'm not moving my body freely when I play piano, because I'd rather play well first. I've always struggled with hand positioning, you brought up a weird way I put my hand that I hadn't noticed, accepted and now try not to.”That's not good enough.Remember what Yoda said: “Do or do not. There is no try.”So, let's make this practical. Otherwise, it's just philosophy, and that won't make you any better at piano.Yoda tells you to “do”. Do what? What, Yoda? Specifically, what do I do?And he'll reply: “Make a video where you focus on theatrical spice instead of playing well.”Don't “try” to make a video. Make a video. Don't “try” to focus on theatrical spice. Focus on theatrical spice.Do it. Don't try.So, here's my offer: if you do it, send it to me and I'll give you some comments.I won't “try” to give you comments. I'll give you comments.—MichaelP.S. Stop trying to play well. If you want to learn piano as an adult, moving your body freely has to be more important than playing well. There's a reason kids learn faster: they move their bodies freely, by default. But, as adults, we've been taught to disconnect from our bodies (I don't mean you were taught that by a piano teacher, but by society, your friends, your parents, everything). So, you have to fight against that programming, or you're screwed. Fuhgeddaboudit. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

In this video, you can see a familiar riff from the song “Bohemian Rhapsody”.The video shows the wrong way to play it and the right way. I'm emphasizing the word “see” rather than “hear” because this is obvious when you're looking but not so obvious when you're listening.I can see, just by watching, that there's all this extra effort. Maybe you don't know what you're looking at, but I know you can feel it.I can feel it too because I've been there.I've got an explanation for why it's hard: you're leading with your thumb and I'm not. That's why it's hard for you and easy for me.So, what do we do about that?You say you have to practice it 10,000 more times and then it's going to be easy. And that might be true. But, it didn't take me 10,000 times to play this.You've got to be more like MEI don't think you understand how powerful you'd be if you upped your sensitivity. Because that's what it's going to take: more sensitivity.It seems like such a minor tweak, but it's really not. Unfortunately, it's going to cost you your soul. Your whole entire soul is wrapped up in the way you move your body. The way you do these tiny things tells me everything about you, about your whole way of looking at the world. This is not a decision to be made lightly.I don't even know how you would make the decision. You're going to have to let go of whatever you're trying to do right now and do something else instead.You're going to have to pay attentionIt's like meditation. You have to go deep into minute nuances and pay close attention to what's behind your urges to move a certain way. It's subtle.Why are you balancing in this direction? Why put the weight there and not there? Why do you turn slightly this way and not that way? Tiny little things.The only way to change them is to pay attention to your feelings. You know it feels bad. You may not know why you're doing it but you know what it feels like.You're wrong about why you're doing itYou think it's because:* you're a beginner* you don't have enough experience* Michael is so much better because he's so much more experienced.No, it's because your priorities are screwed up.You're uncomfortable but you're pushing through it. You're forcing your body to do something it's not designed to do. You're doing that because you're trying to impress people.Stop trying to impress people.Try to suck even more. Keep your eye on the prizeIt's going to stop feeling hard and it's going to start feeling easy. You're going to have more control, and as a result, you'll impress more people. And then you'll forget why this was ever hard.So, fix it.Yeah, no one's going to understand what you're doing, but they don't have to understand.They're not your peers.They're your future public.—Michael This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

Let me give a quick recap about why you suck at piano, because I don't think this is a matter of lacking clarity. I think there's something else going on, so I want to throw it out here as a way of starting a conversation.Here's how you look at the problemFrom your perspective, you have no time for piano because you need to spend all your time making money. But, you have ADHD, so no matter what happens, you're not capable anyway.Now (according to you), the way to fix this is to:* Get your life in order.* Dedicate/block time for music.* Work the calendar.* Put in the reps.* Get clarity, then money, and then ask for help.And here's how I look at itI disagree. I think you're wrong.My diagnosis is that you have Perpetual Novice Syndrome (PNS):* You're afraid to screw up.* You're afraid to make a fool of yourself.* You're afraid to embarrass yourself.* You're comfortable where you are because you've found a familiar role.* You don't trust yourself.* You don't even like yourself.It has nothing to do with money or time.It has to do with the fact that you're afraid.You don't want to be seen as someone who's failing or screwing up. You don't want to embarrass yourself, so you'll just stay a novice forever.But that's OK with you because you enjoy being a novice and are comfortable with it. You even tell stories about it and try to recruit everyone else into going along with it.See, that's the most insidious thing about this virus: it makes you try to recruit everyone else into playing along with your nonsensical stories. It's a horrendous disorder.Treatment optionsUnfortunately, there's only one way to treat Perpetual Novice Syndrome and it's NOT about putting in more reps.What you need to do is get over your fears and be a failure (which you are, so you might as well come to terms with it). Then, we can move on and have real conversations about interesting things instead of this b******t.—MichaelP.S. My offer still stands. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

Here's the thing: maybe we're not ready for clarity. Maybe we should sit with the confusion for a bit longer.Why rush through this? Why rush to a point where you know what to do next? Would that be based on anything, on what's happening NOW? No, it would be based on idealizations about the future.See, I don't think we've hit rock bottom yet. There's an order to things, and I'm expecting that before we find clarity, we first hit rock bottom.With your permission, I'd like to drive us further down towards rock bottom.Where we are right now, does this feel like fun?Do you feel light? Creative? Joyful? Optimistic? Hopeful?Those are the feelings I'd expect if we were at a point where clarity would emerge. There would be creative optimism.But, right now, I'm feeling heaviness.I'm assuming it feels the same way to you. I could get all metaphysical about it, but we're part of an interconnected system. So, my feelings will be mirrored somewhere in your feelings.So, let me be a mirror for a second.Here's what I see when I look at you.You're used to the heavinessIt's comfortable to you, familiar.You like being overworked.You like being too busy.You like having no time.It gives you a way to externalize your failure.It reminds you of schoolYou know that, in school, you could have done better if only you had applied yourself. But, you didn't apply yourself because there was just “too much work” and “too little work ethic”. It's not your fault.OK, fine.But…you like it. You're comfortable with that role. It's a familiar, feel-good story. Satisfying, like comfort food.You even have a familiar script (I've heard you recite it more than once) about how lazy you are and how much you disapprove of yourself and how much better things are going to be in the future once you finally get your s**t together.I see what you're doing but I'm not buying it.Your s**t was never together and it never will be.Your destiny lies elsewhere. You're not the kind of person who's going to get their s**t together. I'm sorry to tell you. If it hasn't happened by now, what are the chances it's going to happen? Might as well accept it.(And please, even though I'm right, don't tell me you agree with me. Don't praise my writing. It makes me a little nutty. If you want to make me happy, talk shop with me.)My offerIf you'd like to have a clarity-seeking conversation about piano, hit me up. No charge. I can't promise clarity and I can't promise I'll be nice or tell you what you want to hear, but I'll show up and give what I can give. I won't try to sell you anything (unless the conversation goes in that direction organically).—Michael This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

Lately, I've been asking a bunch of people, “how's it going with piano?”, and by far, the most common answer is “It's not, sadly! Been insanely busy lately but it's all good!”Since I'm a piano teacher, you may think I've some particular reaction to that answer. I don't know, but I'm not judging it. I don't think it's a bad answer, but I do want to know where it's coming from.I want to know what this conversation even is.So, let me if I'm following this.Piano used to be important to you but now it's not.Or, maybe I should say:You used to NOT be too busy for piano and now you're too busy.To be clear, this isn't some kind of Jewish guilt trip. It might be true that you've got other things going on that are more important than piano. So, I'm not saying piano should be the most important thing. Nor am I saying it should be important at all.But, I want to understand what's going on because something's not adding up.For example, if a personal trainer were to ask, “how's it going with your working out?”, you wouldn't say “I'm too busy to exercise.” At least, you wouldn't say it without some kind of shame, with a straight face.Or, if a doctor were to ask you “how's it going with that cancer treatment?”, you wouldn't say “tbh I've been more focused on making money lately, but thanks for asking.”So, why is it socially acceptable to be too busy for piano but not too busy for your health?Now, I'm not saying it shouldn't be socially acceptable to be too busy for piano. I don't think piano is as important as your health. But, if it's not important, why did you ever do it? Why would anybody ever do it? Why not just take that time you spend on piano and spend it on health?I want to understand the difference.Why is it easier to say—with a straight face—that you don't have time for piano than it is to say that about health? Or, about relationships? Or money? Or vacations? Or religion? Or the environment?I could make a whole list of things where you can't say you don't have time for them. And I could make a list where you can say that.Piano's on the second list. Why?I want to understand the implications of this. What's going on with society?Ok, maybe that's not entirely honest of me…this isn't just a philosophical thing. I want to understand what's going on in this conversation.What's the real conversation we should be having? Because I don't think this is it. But, it seems to me we have to work through this one before we can get to the real one.Help me out here.—Michael This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

You suck at piano. It sounds like s**t when you play. I hate listening to it.You mess up even the most basic things. But, you care more about not messing up than what it sounds like.You don't care what it sounds like. You don't care about keeping a steady beat.You care so much about doing it right that you're not willing to leave out notes, to make a decision, to have an opinion.It's horrible and sounds worse because you care so much about doing it right, being a good student, getting a pat on the head or a gold star.You don't care about the results of your actions. It's like you're cooking and don't care how it tastes. You say, "I followed the recipe.""I was only following orders."It's pathetic. You're self-absorbed and in denial.You don't care about making it sound good with the pedal. You want to press the pedal down and say, "I pressed the pedal down. I'm doing it right." But, you don't care what it sounds like.It would be impossible to sing along to your playing.It's not music. It's horrible. Do you get it???Your friends and family are probably telling you it sounds good.They're lying to you. But, that's OK because you're lying to them. You're telling them you're happy with it."I'm doing piano. Everything's great."You're lying to me and probably lying to yourself. There's an aura of dishonesty around you. It's bad. Your playing is bad. Your character is bad. It's evil.You're not willing to admit you care. You just want to stick your head in the sand. You're addicted to positivity. You don't care about reality.You say "I like it this way" when you don't actually like it this way. I don't know how you look in the mirror.You don't like it but you think you should like it. You say, "I'm just a beginner. This is the most I can expect. This is good for a beginner."No, it's not good for anybody (except for maybe a ROCK).It's total b******t.I don't know what else to tell you.—Michael This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

You get that piano's hard, right? You're not going to master it overnight.I know you've got other stuff going on, but I don't see how that's relevant. You're always going to have other stuff going on. It's been that way your whole life and it'll always be that. One project after the next.Hold on. You're hypnotizing me. Again.Damn it. We need to back up.Can we get more specific about where we're going here?Like, let's take "piano" off the table. It's too big of a project. It's more of a lifetime journey, like "family" or "health". Not useful for this conversation.Let's replace it with something more specific, like playing "All of Me" for your wife or whatever.Btw, I'm not blaming you 100% for this mess we're in. I've allowed myself to be branded as the "piano" guy. But, it's not like you've been pulling your weight. So, we'll share the blame, 50/50.Now, let's talk about the division of responsibilities.I'm doing my part by writing this email.As for what you can do...One possible action would be for you to reply and say "yes, Michael, I want to play All of Me for my wife or whatever."Maybe you're ambivalent about opening Pandora's box with a step like that, but I'm on the same page. I don't know what would happen after that first step, but I think we need to find out. There's only one way to know.Come on. You're on this list of your own free will. We should be having a back-and-forth here.—Michael This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

The other day, I was chatting on Instagram with someone who didn't seem all that enthusiastic about piano (this is someone who's been a client of mine).I remarked that this lack of enthusiasm was why I didn't want to waste my time chatting about piano. In response, they sent the following message:"In one of our early conversations about piano, you said something like piano is a lifetime journey. I don't have the specifics, but I agree, piano is a similar to a vocation vs a job or hobby. It is a skill to be studied (even an elementary study) and practiced. Piano is definitely on my top 5 list of life endeavors."OK, so my question is: do you think you're using our time well with that reply?I'm a piano teacher. Is this a good use of my time? Is this a good use of your time? Even if we're just two people, even if I'm not a piano teacher, is it still a good use of time?Let me give an analogy.Imagine you eat at a restaurant and you find a spider in your food. You say to the manager, "there's a spider in my food."Manager: "Yes, there is."You: "Can you do something about it?"Manager: "Not now."You: "It doesn't sound like you're enthusiastic about customer satisfaction."Manager: "No, customer satisfaction is actually on our top-5 list of business endeavors. But, we view customer satisfaction as more of a long-term journey. It's something to be practiced. We're not going to get it right every time."As a piano teacher, that's what I'm hearing.It's like I'm the customer at the restaurant.—MichaelP.S. I know I sound like a jerk in this email, but actually I agree with you. There's no urgency to "piano" and there shouldn't be. Let's get more specific. We should at least be talking about a Chopin nocturne or something like that, if you want to talk about urgency, about something we can do right now, before the end of our life. That's the kind of thing I'd think would be a good use of time. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

I got this reply to one of my emails a few weeks ago:"As I indicated in one email, I have given up on playing piano for over 2 years except for playing it on CDs. It is far more enjoyable."Let me give my reaction to that.On the one hand, this sounds like a perfectly reasonable position, and based on conversations I've had, I'm guessing it applies to most people reading this email.But, it puts me in a weird spot because...if you've given up on piano, what do we talk about then?I want to ask some questions to get a sense of where this fits into your life.Let's zoom out for a second.What is the bigger picture?Imagine, when you started playing piano, it was like you hired piano to do a job for you. To fill some role in your life.What job did you hire piano to do?After you fired piano, what replaced it?Was it the CD player that replaced it? No, I don't think so.I mean, even back when you started piano, you were smart enough to know that the easiest way to fill your house with music was always playing recordings. It was never piano.So, the CD player isn't a replacement for piano. That's something else.Now, you might be right. Maybe piano isn't the answer. Maybe we should connect on something else.But, I suspect this story has more to it.Could we try to nail it down so that, at least, it's a good story?And if piano ends up being the villain in this tale, so much the better.—Michael This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

I haven't written for a couple of weeks because I've felt like I have "nothing to say". Now, however, I'm forcing myself to write, and that's risky.I mean, what if you don't care what I have to say?But, here's the thing: I'm interested in what you're doing.Now, admittedly, you're not on my mind all the time. It's a once-in-a-while kind of thing. But, the fact is, your life is one of the things I'm interested in.That said, I don't know you very well. I can only fill in so many blanks with my imagination.So, let me give you some context about me, about my life.I need money. I'm running out of money.I'm not saying that to put pressure on you, to make you feel sorry for me, or to passive-aggressively take out my anger on you. I'm just trying to disclose my intentions.I believe in transparency.So, here's me being transparent.(The truth is, I am trying to put some pressure on you. It's not the pressure to pay me money, but something else. Honestly, I'm not sure how to articulate what it is, how to talk about it. That's something I'm working on.)Another thing going on with me is that I want to help you with piano.But, some things need to happen first. For example, you have to be interested in piano and, right now, I get the sense you're not. That's fair enough, but I can't help you until you are.So, if you're wondering why I'm professing to want to help you, while at the same time, not trying very hard to help you…I'm waiting for you.I want to hear from you.You're wondering why I'm not posting piano articles? Why I'm just talking about me? That's why: I don't know where you're coming from.Piano's a big topic. I'm not just going to start talking about “piano.”Now, I'm willing to be patient. I'm willing to talk with you about other things. If piano isn't the thing for you, I've got a cornucopia of topics: drawing, calligraphy, yoga, enlightenment, German diction, etc., etc., etc.But, since piano is something in your past, and since the past has a funny way of not staying in the past, it's still there somewhere. It might be a good idea to stop ignoring it.The other thing is this: I feel awkward talking about piano when we both know I've made money from teaching piano.Is that a conflict of interest? I'm claiming to be just trying to educate the world, and yet, we all know in my past (and in my future), there's money.Now, I'm not saying that because I want you to reassure me I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm saying it because I want you to know me.I want you to know me so that I can know you.We're going to have an exchange. It's called “connection.”What's in it for me?* The money.* Knowing you.* More interaction with the market (you).What's in it for you…?Honestly, I don't think I know you well enough to answer that.The only thing I have to go on is that you signed up for this mailing list. I didn't pull you off the street. I was sitting here alone in my apartment and you showed up. There must be SOMETHING in it for you.However you look at it, I want to thank you for being here.—MichaelP.S. I suspect I have a lot to say to you and it may take time for me to catch up to myself. If you're feeling left out, you can interject at any point and maybe it'll help me sync up with you. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

This is a strange episode but I kinda like it, so I'm putting it up here. It's audio that was recorded on February 6, 2021. It was a livestream I did on Instagram where I was playing Donkey Kong Country 3 and talking about some stuff that had happened to me in the first year of the pandemic related to: 1. The music school I'd been playing at before the pandemic, and 2. A marketing group I'd joined that year. The whole thing is a rant, but I hope it could be of interest to you if you're a classical musician, a video game streamer, or if you're in any way interested in online marketing or cancel culture. I bleeped out names because I don't want this to be about names. I think it works well as audio. You can watch the video on YouTube. Hope you like it.

Lately, I've been a cheerleader for boundaries. That's funny because the second episode of this podcast was called "Stop Setting Boundaries". In this episode, I explain how my thinking has changed by reacting to Episode 2. Timeline: 0:00:00 - Introduction 0:03:09 - Reacting to Episode 2: "Stop Setting Boundaries" 0:04:37 - Drama Triangle & The Empowerment Dynamic 0:08:00 - Boundaries let you have conversations 0:10:37 - How I look at boundaries these days 0:13:01 - "Violating" boundaries 0:14:49 - Topics on which I've demonstrated how to set boundaries 0:17:05 - Restraining order threat 0:18:08 - Being a Challenger 0:22:47 - Training your friends 0:24:29 - Virtue-signalling, being the bigger person 0:27:59 - "Accountability" 0:29:28 - Emotional issues 0:31:26 - Rosenberg Stage 2 0:34:18 - Jordan Peterson, responsibility 0:38:52 - Be explicit with the language 0:42:26 - It's like a BPD thing 0:44:19 - Back to the list 0:46:06 - Teaching 0:46:22 - Friend zone 0:47:49 - "Michael, you're acting like a victim." 0:49:42 - I got derailed 0:52:37 - Back then I was all about acceptance 0:53:54 - Don't say it to them 0:54:51 - You don't need to justify 1:01:15 - Just stand still 1:04:18 - I wouldn't even say any of that 1:07:57 - That's it for this episode

Spiral Dynamics is a framework for making sense of the forces that drive culture. It helps you understand why YouTube commenters are such jerks. Also, why the Godfather cares so much about respect. And why Osho started his cult. And why air traffic controllers aren't to blame for mid-air collisions. I'd take it to a desert island. Stay tuned for more episodes on the other colors. (Instagram live, April 26, 2023) 0:00 - Introduction 3:17 - The Ice Cream Truck Song (the Entertainer) 6:55 - Spiral Dynamics 10:23 - Overview of the colors 20:01 - Zagreb mid-air collision 27:27 - Osho, Wild Wild Country 28:50 - Yellow (systems thinking) 31:19 - Purple (animism, shamanism) 34:08 - Still DRE 39:46 - Leo Gura (actualized.org) 42:55 - Red 44:29 - Sacred cows in FB groups 46:10 - Revenge of the Nerds 47:27 - Instagram algorithm 50:41 - Respect 51:40 - The Godfather 54:09 - YouTube comments

Only you can teach yourself how to read music. I have no power over you. The Universe will do its thing, and no, it's not fair. But here's a placebo to keep you company. It might even work. (Instagram live, April 24, 2023) 0:00 - Introduction 1:30 - How to read music 10:44 - Major and minor keys 16:48 - The Karate Kid (homework 1) 18:21 - Major and minor chords 19:05 - The Empowerment Dynamic 27:36 - C major chord, treble/bass clef 30:02 - Spiral Dynamics (homework 2) 35:22 - Teachers don't care about you 40:17 - Philosophy is stupid 42:32 - Weird Al 44:46 - Bo Burnham "Inside" (homework 4) 47:42 - Seventh chords 51:56 - Parting words

All about meditation, language, non-duality and waking up to bullshit. This is graduate-level piano material. Actually, it's a bit beyond that. (Instagram Live from April 22, 2023) 0:00 Introduction 0:48 Meditation 10:10 Is classical music better than contemporary music? 11:30 Enlightenment 21:52 Form vs Function 25:45 A language exercise 30:43 Duality vs Non-duality 35:30 Why YouTube comments suck 40:40 B.F. Skinner, "Verbal Behavior" 41:42 The pandemic was a good thing 42:28 AI, revenge porn 47:48 Marshall Rosenberg, Amtsprache 51:49 Asleep vs awake people

Welcome to 4-dimensional space. Glad you could join me on this higher plane of existence. Now, let me set the record straight about some of y'all's problems with me. (Piano Time Live on Instagram, April 21, 2023) Timeline: 0:00 - Introduction 1:39 - Golden Hour 5:48 - 3-step exercise to play with both hands 10:51 - The 4th dimension 19:18 - Für Elise 22:26 - Moonlight Sonata 24:59 - The Empowerment Dynamic and the Drama Triangle 28:56 - Jordan Peterson is awesome 31:49 - Nerds who correct “misinformation” on social media 34:19 - Osho, Wild Wild Country

I invited Dr. David Servias to have a conversation with me about the Bach Toccata & Fugue fiasco. We discuss the history of the piece, why the NERDS can't process one out-of-place note, and how I'm dealing with hate on my YouTube channel. For the backstory, watch the original video (and read the comments

Let's talk about how to learn to play the piano. It's a big subject, but we've gotta start somewhere. Timeline: 0:00 - Should I change the name of the podcast? 0:47 - Pandemic regrets. Being taunted by the piano in your living room. 2:31 - Why I get irritated when people want to learn piano. My experiences with language learning and classical guitar. 4:40 - What makes Michael Korman good at piano? 5:48 - Piano's an old instrument. 6:35 - What the pedals are all about. 8:03 - Do you have to take lessons? 9:24 - Can you learn from YouTube? 10:16 - Why adults can't learn piano. 12:08 - Why kids have no problem learning piano. 14:41 - About my 5-day course. 14:59 - Why it shouldn't take years to be able to play "River Flows in You." 16:27 - Why you're addicted to being "impressive". 17:41 - A quick reminder that this isn't philosophical nonsense. 19:08 - Why I can't relate to beginner pianists. 20:42 - About my tutorials where I write numbers on the keys. 22:04 - Octaves, notes, names of notes, visual orientation/memory. 23:55 - How to learn to read music. 24:36 - I don't care about helping you learn to read music. 25:28 - Why I'm good at reading and you're not. 26:55 - I should really stop being so judgmental.

People with ADHD have to do these things differently: Finding out if a teacher is qualified Learning a new song Buying a piano or keyboard Writing music…getting ideas out of your head Dealing with criticism Getting excited and then losing interest Following advice Practicing regularly The standard advice just ain't gonna work.

How I got obsessed with piano scales. Why audiences liked to watch Pavarotti struggle. Pianists are clueless about body intelligence. Why you learned in school to hyper-fixate on outcomes and suck at physical education.

My post read: "Your ex wasn't abusive. You made a decision to get into that relationship and you made a decision to get out. Take some responsibility for your decisions." Some people got triggered.

A conversation with Fabienne Egger (@this_is_fabienne on Instagram) about yoga, the metaverse, speaking on camera, the Drama Triangle, and the true purpose of meditation and yoga. If you teach yoga or meditation, or are a serious practitioner of either, you should be aware of your responsibilities. For the first half hour, we catch up on some personal stuff. The real content starts after that point. 0:00 - Warming up with some finger yoga while we wait for Fabi. 3:42 - Addressing some points from the tribute live Michael and David (@stuff.david.does) did for Fabi recently. 5:57 - Are Swiss people funny? Is there even standup comedy in Switzerland? 7:01 - Is Fabi an extreme sports chick? She doesn't see herself that way. 16:48 - Fabi got triggered by stuff Michael said about yoga teachers. What's going on there? 23:58 - Awkward silences. The pressure of needing to talk. Michael is simply a mirror. What pisses Michael off the most about Fabi. 31:08 - Fabi talks about hurting her neck doing headstands. Michael has a problem with teachers saying "be careful!" 50:31 - Michael gets impatient and wants the conversation to be addictive. 52:43 - Maybe it will be more fun in the metaverse. Michael talks about his computer science knowledge and why he's not thrilled about coming changes. 1:12:13 - Fabi remembers why she first got interested in Michael (it was because of his journey learning to use his eyes and voice on camera). 1:34:05 - But, Fabi doesn't think Michael's jokes are funny. 1:38:07 - What's "karmic trash collection"? How we can break chains of causality and generational trauma.

Let's talk about requests: how to ask for what you want. And, what to do when people don't agree to those requests. Timeline 00:00 - Nonviolent Communication requires repetition. 01:42 - It changes you on a deep level. You have to change how you talk. 02:53 - If you want something, you have to ask for it. 04:06 - Doing things for people is FUN. How I got addicted to Candy Crush. 06:24 - Relationships shouldn't be based on "right" and "wrong". 08:03 - Our society teaches people not to ask for what they want. 09:36 - What to do if somebody hears your request as a demand. Why requests are good for people to hear. 13:01 - Bad requests ("If you really loved me, you'd never forget my birthday!") 14:36 - The difference between requests and demands is whether you're ready to empathize with a "no". 17:11 - NVC is a game and games have "right" and "wrong". 18:51 - Why you should always make a "cry for help". Dealing with bullies. 24:46 - When you make a request, it gives the other person a chance to hurt you. 30:16 - How to ignore accusations and focus on what matters.

This is the second episode about Nonviolent Communication. Today, we'll talk about empathy.

This is simultaneously the last episode of 2021 and the first of 2022. It's an experiment in storytelling. I didn't plan out anything beyond that and I feel embarassed.

Timestamps: 0:00 Your business can be as flexible as your personality and include all the facets of you. 3:55 Six fears that stop you from experimenting. 5:10 Speaking your mind, experimenting, and being true to your own personality doesn't mean you have to stop being a "business". 6:50 Deciding on a job title without getting pigeonholed. 11:45 The people who matter aren't judging you on your fonts and colors. 17:07 Choosing to offer a particular product or service will cause people to put you in a box, but that's a good thing. 21:08 Your ideal clients won't call you a "narcissist", no matter what you say. 24:50 The people who NEED your products will pay and will overlook the rough edges (yes, this is true for artists too).

I love food. Diets don't work. Society has trained you to hate yourself. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nomichaelhere.substack.com

I love food. Diets don't work. Society has trained you to hate yourself.

Nonviolent Communication is an awesome approach to learning how to say what you mean and mean what you say. NVC teaches you to think and talk in a way that tries to serve life, rather than disconnect us from our feelings and needs (the way we're normally taught to communicate). Here's how you can learn NVC: 1. Search “nvc marshall rosenberg” on YouTube and watch the 3-hour video with him in the red shirt. 2. Read his book “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life” 3. Practice a lot. 4. Be prepared for all your friends to get angry. 5. Keep practicing. Good luck! More about Nonviolent Communication.