Podcast appearances and mentions of Marshall Rosenberg

For this new Growing Up Unschooling episode, Pam, Anna, and Erika were joined by 26-year-old Halie Barrick, who has always been unschooled. Halie shared about her experiences growing up, her journey through college and grad school, the business she created with her mom, and her advice to newer unschooling parents. She also reflected on the connections between what interested her as a child and what she’s passionate about today. It was a beautiful conversation with so many deep insights. We hope that you enjoy listening to Halie’s thoughts as much as we did! Watch the video of our conversation on YouTube. QUESTIONS FOR HALIE Can you share with us a bit about you and your family? What were some of your interests growing up and how did you pursue them? You decided to pursue a Bachelor's and Master's degree. Can you tell us about that experience? You have started a business called Growing Edge Equine*imity. What made you decide to start a business? Can you tell us about your vision for it? As a grown unschooler, what piece of advice would you like to share with unschooling parents who are just starting out on this journey? THINGS WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE We invite you to join us in the Living Joyfully Network, a warm and welcoming online community of like-hearted parents. It's a non-judgmental space where you can steep in these unconventional ideas around parenting, relationships, and learning, and explore what they might look like day-to-day in your uniquely wonderful family. We offer a free month trial so you can see if it's a good fit for you. Click here to join us. Sign up to our mailing list on Substack to receive our email newsletters as well as new articles about learning, parenting, and so much more! Check out our website, livingjoyfully.ca for more information about exploring unschooling and navigating relationships. EPISODE TRANSCRIPT ANNA: Hello everyone, I’m Anna Brown from Living Joyfully, and today I’m joined by my co-hosts Erika Ellis and Pam Laricchia, as well as our special guest today, Halie Barrick. Hello to you all. Pam and I have known Halie since she was quite small. She grew up and was involved in a group that started online, but then began meeting in person a couple times a year, and that went on for many years. We all have a lot of really fond memories of it. And honestly, it’s a testament to the kind of lifelong friendships and connections that can be made through online communities. It’s how Pam and I met, and some years later how Erika and I met, online first too. And all that grew from those early years is one of the reasons we started the Living Joyfully Network, so please check that out in the show notes, or go to livingjoyfully.ca and click on the network to join us. But we are so excited to reconnect and see what Halie’s been up to, and so Pam, do you want to get us started today? PAM: Absolutely, absolutely. Hi, Halie, and it is so lovely to see you again. I was hoping, could you share a little bit about you and your family, just to introduce everyone else? HALIE: Sure, so I’m Halie. It’s great to see Pam and Anna again and meet Erika. So, I am 26 now. I’ve always been a radical unschooler, never set foot in a classroom a day in my life. My mom and I traveled a lot when I was younger, lots of cross-country road trips to visit friends and family. We’d have wonderful, rich, deep discussions on those road trips and cover so many topics. It was so much fun learning about people and visiting local bookstores and shops on our travels. When I was seven, we moved to Vermont, my mom and I, to be closer to my grandparents. So, I’ve mostly grown up in northern Vermont, although I lived in North Carolina and Utah when I was little. My grandparents have been super supportive of unschooling. They were a little skeptical at first, but we took them to the Live and Learn conference in 2005, and they got to hear from grown unschoolers, and that really helped them understand what this whole crazy thing was. I’ve just been super close with my mom and my grandparents and living in the woods in northern Vermont, tucked into a little family cabin in the woods. We have the same driveway as my grandparents. And I’ve got horses and miniature donkeys on the property, so it’s just been a lot of fun getting to follow my interests and grow up in nature. ANNA: I love that. ERIKA: That’s beautiful. So, I’m curious, what were your interests when you were growing up, and how did you end up pursuing them? HALIE: Well, two of the biggest passions I’ve had that have lasted the longest have been reading and horses. When I was young, I had a huge collection of toy horses, a very particular brand that was very realistic. That was important to me. And my cousin and I would spend hours and hours, months on end, with these imaginative, in-depth games. All those toy horses had personalities and magic powers and complex relationships, and we processed a lot of world issues through our games. And then when, I guess let me back up, when I was five, we lived in Utah, and my parents and I audited a college course on horsemanship. And so we would go, I have been in a classroom. In my first college course, I was five. We learned about horse breeds, and then we would go for weekly riding lessons. And while we were in Utah, we ended up with a few horses. And we didn’t really know what we were doing, but we had a lot of fun. And then when my mom and I moved to Vermont, we were able to bring Garnet, my older horse, she’s my older horse now. Just one of our horses from Utah came with us. And the year that I was nine, we, together, my mom and I spent the full year driving an hour to our mentor’s barn and learning natural horsemanship. In Utah, we learned traditional horsemanship, which is very power over, dominance, control-based. And that didn’t sit right with us. So, when we moved here and started learning natural horsemanship, it was a whole new paradigm. It was basically the difference between traditional parenting and education and unschooling and peaceful parenting. My mom loved to see those parallels. And my mom’s master’s degree is in early childhood education, family mental health. She’s done tons of research and always knew we were going to be unschooling. And so we would go together every day from like 10am to 7pm and help this lady with her barn chores and work with her horses. And she coached me in kind of unlearning the old paradigm and relearning natural horsemanship with my horse Garnet. Garnet had to unlearn those old power dynamics that she was fighting against and relearn this new relationship built on communication and trust and partnership. So, that was my deep dive into horse training, which then has continued my whole life. Off and on with that particular mentor, then bringing Garnet home, getting my mom a horse, then I got miniature donkeys for my 12th birthday. So that passion bled into what I’m doing now and wove through my time at college as well. The other passion that I’ve always had is reading and how it's connected to fantasy books and therefore medieval history for me. My parents read to me when I was little, my grandfather would read to me for hours on end every night. And it was an interesting conversation about unschooling at that point with my grandparents because I didn’t learn to read independently until I was 11. And they kept getting very nervous and trying to push me and would say, just read the first page. Okay, well, just read the first sentence. Okay, just read the first word. And my mom would have to talk to them and say, back off, trust the process. If you pressure her, it’s just gonna cause more resistance. Just make it fun. Take the pressure off. I have very fond memories of my grandfather reading to me. And then I got to the point where when he was at work, I wanted to know what happened in the story. So I started teaching myself how to read. And he had read me the Harry Potter series twice. And so that ended up being the first series that I picked up on my own. And I’d say in the first book, I was actually reading maybe 20% of it. But I knew the story. And by the last book, I was reading probably 90% of it. ANNA: I love that. That sounds familiar, doesn’t it, Pam? PAM: That was very familiar, because I was reading the series. And as the books came out, we would have a big to do and I’d read and everything. But yes, I couldn’t read all day, which was what Lissy would have loved. And so we picked up the audiobook versions. So she started reading along with the audiobook as well. And that was it, one day, she just came down and said, Hey, I’m reading. I read the first three chapters or whatever, whatever. So, that was a very familiar introduction. And that’s the difference between thinking about learning to read as an end goal, like I need to learn to read or my granddaughter needs to learn to read. And then picking easier readers or whatever to try and help that process along versus when an interest and a need, like your interest and the interest in the Harry Potter books, both of them came together to where it just felt like a time where you wanted to dive in, into it, right? Because sometimes our brains just aren’t ready for it. I feel like when your mom was easing them into, just trust the process, just let things unfold. That doesn’t mean sitting back and doing nothing. Reading the books to people getting the books, finding the books that are super fun and interesting for them. Because you don’t have to be behind in anything. Just because the act of reading is not a skill that someone’s picked up yet. There’s so many other ways to get at that, the stories and information, all those pieces. So yeah, that’s super cool, Halie. ERIKA: I just love the threads, the through lines when you grow up and you can look back and say, hey, this is something I’ve always been interested in. Playing with the toy horses when I was super little. And then that is a through line through your life. And with all that, it just feels like all this space and all this support for you to really dive as deeply as you wanted into your interests. I just love that story. ANNA: Just make it fun, just share that love of reading, share the love of whatever the thing is we have with our kids. And then it’s so beautiful. HALIE: My grandmother, once I learned to read, she was like, well, when are you going to stop reading and go outside again? Because all you want to do is read. ANNA: That’s how it works a lot, isn't it!? HALIE: I’ve always gone all in with whatever I’m doing for a long time. And the love of reading then translated to a love of medieval history and getting really interested in Renaissance fairs and archery and sword fighting. And then I connected that with my love of horses. And I taught myself mounted archery so I can be shooting the bow and arrow while riding my horse. ANNA: I love seeing how the threads weave together, but over the course of a decade. PAM: That space. Yeah, yeah. I’m just gonna leap off that for a second, Halie, just for people listening to get an idea of just how these things flow. We’re going to a Ren Faire this weekend. My son is working at it. He’s doing the jousting and the fighting. He’s a stunt actor. So, that piece is super cool. His interest in stunt acting started way back as a kid. He was always a rough and tumbley kind of person and then started with karate. So, that just wove over the years. And then Lissy’s interest in Harry Potter. Then she got into reading fan fiction. Then there was a fan fiction writer who would use music quotes at the beginning of their chapters, which got her interested in music. She was also interested in photography at the time. And then eventually photography and music have woven together. Now she mostly photographs musicians. I love hearing the stories about all the interests and how they weave together. It’s not like you were interested in horses, so you have to be interested in horses forever. I would look at how it all weaves together and weaves through various interests, right? It’s like interest just almost seems like such a small word. ANNA: But it’s that space and time, right? It’s that space to pursue and find the weaving. I think when we think about a curriculum or if we’re trying to do something for our child’s learning, it’s so limiting, right? Because it’s this one very linear path and you can see through Halie, your story and all of our stories that we’ve talked about so many times, it’s never linear. It’s just all of these different bits weaving together and the web that we create. So yeah, I just, I love hearing about those threads and I think we’ve got more coming. So, I’m excited for what’s next. PAM: Now, a little bit earlier, you mentioned college and you did decide to pursue a bachelor’s and master’s degree. So I was hoping you could share about that experience as well. HALIE: Sure. So, I wanted to go to college because I wanted to get a master’s degree because I wanted letters after my name. And part of that was that my parents both have higher degrees. They didn’t push it. But I also felt like I wanted to prove to the world that unschooling worked, which is maybe not the best way to go into that. But I did not want to go to a traditional college. I was very against that. It did not feel aligned with how I learn or what I wanted to do at all. And so I was really thinking about it for a couple of years. And my mom knew of Goddard College, which happened to be an hour and a half from us. And they were like unschooling for college. They were entirely self-directed, self-designed, low residency. So we would go for a week at the start of the semester, work with our small advising group, like four to eight students of all different ages and interests, with an advisor. And through that process, create our study plan. There were no tests and no grades. It was all about communicating with your advisor, writing things, getting really detailed feedback. And then you would write a self-evaluation and your advisor would write a narrative evaluation at the end of the semester. So we went to Goddard for an open house the same day that we went to a college fair, and it was a very stark difference. And I immediately knew I was home when I got to Goddard. The people were lovely, very social justice oriented. My cousin, who was living with us at the time, she and I went to Goddard together. And it was a nice kind of buffer. We could support each other as we expanded out a little bit more into the world. So, Goddard was really special. I got my four-year undergraduate degree there, graduated in the fall of 2022. I took a year off and then I went back with the plan to get a two-year master’s program. And I was a year in when Goddard closed, which was super, super sad. I think largely it was for financial reasons. They had a partnership with Prescott College out in Arizona that helped take Goddard students and continue their path and help them graduate. So, I completed my master’s a year ago. And yeah, it was really special. I think we need more schools like Goddard. I started my first semester with something that I was comfortable with, which was horsemanship. And then I moved away from that for the middle semesters and explored everything from creative writing to astrophysics. And then the way Goddard worked was they wanted you to explore lots of different things for the first three years and then hone in on a big senior study project that would be like your major. And so I came back around to partnership-based horse training, horse psychology, and I ended up getting a young horse, Chantilly Lace. She was only 14 months old, a little Arabian filly, and she was my senior study. Training her for that first year and doing a lot of research and journaling and writing about horsemanship in general, and particularly natural horsemanship. So, that was my undergraduate senior study. And then part of that senior study, I was learning about equine-assisted psychotherapy. And a big part of our conversations, between me and my mom, growing up have been psychology and sociology and trauma-informed care and social emotional learning. And so, I was researching equine-assisted psychotherapy and I decided I didn’t want to be a therapist, but I did speak that language and I did see the value in working with horses to develop interpersonal skills. So, I went back for my master’s with this focus of can I start a business to support people through activities with the horses? And that was my master’s program. So my master’s was also self-designed equine-assisted learning and business design. ANNA: Nice. So cool. I think it is really interesting. I didn’t know that Goddard had closed. I was familiar with it before, but I didn’t know that it was closed. So that is sad. But I love how you were able to take all these different pieces and that they really encouraged that and then weave it together to find this path that felt good in that moment. I love that. And so that kind of leads into my question, which I’m super excited about, because I also am very into horses and have been since I was little and natural horsemanship and all the things involved with just that beautiful relationship and how it translates so beautifully to humans as well. And so you have started a business called Growing Edge Equine-imity. I’m curious, what made you want to start that business? Can you tell us a little bit about your vision for it? Just a little bit about how that it sounded like that really started in your master’s program, thinking, OK, I want this business. And so what that looked like, where you are now, and what your hopes are for it. HALIE: Yeah. It’s been a year since I technically started the business and it’s feeling like a really exciting point in time. Things are beginning to come together. So, Growing Edge Equine-imity. I guess I’ll start with the name. I wanted it to be Growing Edge because it’s about personal development and finding your growth edge, having a growth mindset. And I wanted “growing” to show it’s a process. It continues. And my mom, I’ve got to give her credit for the equine-imity part of combining equine and equanimity. She thought she was very clever with that. I love it. So it’s an equine-assisted personal and professional development business. And the goal is to empower parents and educators in understanding self-directed education and shifting adult youth relationships from power over to power with. And I think a lot of that is about reflecting on how us as adults were raised and what kind of cultural conditioning we’ve received and unpacking that and really thinking about what are our values and what are our hopes for our children. What kinds of baggage do we need to unpack, what conversations do we need to have, and what skills to develop so that we can show up and support the children in the way that we want to. It doesn’t have to be about unschooling per se, but since that’s my experience, I really wanted to start there combining my love of horses, my unschooling experience, and the fact that this psychology and sociology has been so interwoven into my life. So, the business was really a way of pulling these threads together in a way that I could hopefully make a living while also supporting people and making a difference in the world in a way that’s really fun and meaningful to me and brings my personal passions together. So that was the goal of the business. ANNA: Wow. PAM: I love the way. I feel like. I was just going to say I love the way the threads all weave together, right? That, to me, that’s the beautiful piece, like Anna was talking about before, the space and time to really discover these various threads and then finding and exploring ways to weave them together so that it’s not like, okay, I have to choose one now and ignore the other things that I’m interested in, at least for a while I can pursue this one thing. And it is really beautiful the way you’ve been able to find those pieces and then bring those into your masters. And through that lens, because you had said you were doing some business stuff too in your masters as well, right? So just weaving all those pieces together. I love that so much. ANNA: Yeah. I was just going to say it too, very similarly, but I feel like the best ideas and the ideas that change the world are that, right? It’s all the pieces, it’s bringing in these passion-driven pieces and these explorations. I am super excited about what you’re putting out into the world. And I think so many people will be drawn to it because it really hits so many notes for people. And I think just your passion and love for it is also just going to continue to attract things. I’m excited about your journey with that. ERIKA: Yeah, it’s so beautiful. And I love contrasting that with, if you get that tunnel vision of, I’ve become an adult, I've got to just go get a job. I have to make money and kind of losing parts of yourself. Which I feel like a lot of people do in our culture. I just love the creativity and the intention and thoughtfulness that you’re putting into your path where it’s like, no, I can make a difference and I can continue to explore my passions and there’s value to this, all of these interests. It’s so much more personal and it’s so connected, which I think then makes the work really land, for other people. So yeah, that’s so beautiful. PAM: I was just going to add, I happened to be at an extended family picnic last weekend, a few days ago. And somebody, of course, has been asking what my kids were up to. And I explained what they were doing. And they looked at me and said, they’re just doing the stuff they like to do, but as adults. And I was just like, yeah, it doesn’t have to be just what you were saying, Erika. Now I need to get a job. Those don’t have to be separate things, right? We really can weave them together so beautifully. ANNA: From the start, because I feel like the piece that I see in the work that I do with people is that in their 40s, they’re going, wait a minute. And they’re trying to re-tap into those feelings from when they were younger and had these driving passions and had these visions for what they wanted to be in the world and do in the world. But like you said, Erika, they just set it aside because, oh, okay, it has to look like this. And so I do think this is one of the gifts of unschooling is that you really can have a head start on that, on really understanding yourself, self-awareness, just all of those pieces that you don’t have to unlearn later. ERIKA: It feels like we have taken the interest seriously all along, not as this is a little side thing that if you have enough time, you can squeeze into your life. It’s like, no, if you’re able to really dive in and pursue your interests, then you’ll actually be able to use them in a meaningful way for your whole life. It just makes such a difference because people are so different. There isn’t one right path to being an adult and working. And so, yeah, I just love that so much. And I know everyone loves hearing these conversations with grown unschoolers. I know people will be excited to hear what you’ve learned along the way. So my question is, what piece of advice would you like to share with unschooling parents who are just starting out on the unschooling journey? HALIE: That is a good question. How much time do we have? I mean, I think trust is the most important. I think trusting yourself and your own instincts and also trusting your children and that they also know what’s best for them. I think with trusting your instincts, being able to separate what’s actually your instinct and what’s cultural conditioning and being able to figure out where the difference is and trust your instincts and critically analyze what the cultural messaging is. And then have real authentic conversations with your children so that you can ask them what they need and you can be partners and be on the same team. I was thinking about this this morning and I have a little flow chart in my head. If you think about what’s your end goal, what’s your why? Why are you doing this? Why does it matter? Where do you want your children to be as young adults? And then backwards map it and think about what are the steps to get there. In my mind, if the end goal is collaboration between you and your children in this journey of life, then what does that collaboration need? And I think it needs trust and communication. And trust, for me anyways, emotional trust means congruence. So, your inner experience and your outer portrayal need to be aligned in a way that’s not dumping your emotions and needs on everybody around you, but being authentic and honest with what you’re feeling and who you are. And so part of getting to this point of healthy congruence, which is really what the horses help you with too, because horses live in the moment and are totally authentic and respond to that congruence. But to get there, you need this self-responsibility aspect and this self-compassion aspect of also doing what you need to support yourself and give yourself grace for when you’re not perfect, because no one’s ever perfect. And then also the communication aspect of learning how to communicate with your teammates, if that’s your friends, your family, your children, and how to work through conflict. There are obviously tons of resources out there. We’ve particularly been drawn towards nonviolent communication with Marshall Rosenberg and Ross Green’s Collaborative and Proactive Solutions. But the other concept I wanted to mention is the idea of rupture and repair in a relationship. You’re going to run into dings, and that’s an opportunity to literally practice resilience. Because if you can come back in a calm time and address those issues, your relationship grows stronger because of that. And again, there is no real perfection, which drives me crazy. I’m a person who wants to know what’s perfect and then wants to meet that standard. The thing that I’ve had to realize is not only are we incapable of being perfect 100% of the time, but the definition of perfect is fluid between moment to moment and person to person. And so really it’s about showing up with full presence and having compassion for yourself and others and being willing to have real, authentic conversations and go back and address things when things feel sticky. ERIKA: That’s awesome. I feel like you’ve talked about a lot of the things that we have recently been talking about too, just about paradigm shifts in parenting. And I think that is so huge about realizing we can’t be perfect. And that in fact, those moments where we are imperfect are the perfect time to then be building trust in our relationships. That just takes so much pressure off of me as a parent, but it also, it’s true. I’ve seen it happen for us. And we can’t be perfect, but when we can repair, we’re all stronger. We all have this shared experience with each other that we can build on for the next time. So I loved those answers, Halie. ANNA: Oh my gosh. So, so much. And I love that idea that perfect is fluid because I think all of us can get caught up in that, wanting to do the best job, the right thing, that piece. But it is, the people are different idea that we talk about a lot. It is different in every situation. And those are the perfect opportunities to learn and grow and make that repair and deepen the relationship. And so I think it is helpful for parents to realize that this is not about doing X thing perfectly. It really is just about the presence. And so I loved that, that kind of an opposite of perfect is letting it go to just being present, being present, that’s the work that we can do to show up for the people in our lives, to learn about ourselves, to learn about each other. And so, yeah, I just thought that was so beautiful. Thank you. PAM: That presence is really how we can learn and navigate that moment. Like being truly present helps us see the next baby step of repair, right? It’s hard to have a rupture, then come up with this whole repair plan and then bring it back and do the thing, right? It really is a team effort, it’s in that presence and that trust. Their trust in us, to hear us as we come and approach a repair, but also our trust and our developing trust with experience just in the process itself. Because for me, again, I’m another one who wants the right answer, just tell me what to do, tell me how to fix it, and I’ll do it. But time and again, through experience, just showing up and having those authentic conversations leads all of us into the way to execute in the right word, but for the repair to happen, right? And it’s not a one and done. I can see so many people, I want to have this repair conversation and be done. And now we’re all back to normal, right? But that fluidity of perfection, that fluidity of life, it’s just showing up again and again and being present and being open and curious and trust. And yeah, that was all beautiful. ERIKA: I liked how you said that there’s resources for this too, though, because I feel like so many of us as parents, we did not grow up with this being modeled. What does validation look like? What does this kind of communication look like? But there are resources out there. So we can learn and just try things out with our family. So yeah, I loved that point as well. ANNA: Yeah, for sure. Well, Halie, thank you so much for joining us. It was just such a treat. And I just feel like we will definitely be staying in touch. I feel like we’ll see you again down the road because I think there’s just so much to what you’re doing and all that you’re putting out into the world. That’s so beautiful. And I want to thank everybody for listening. And we hope that you enjoyed this conversation. It was just so great to catch up with Halie. And I know, like Erika said, people really enjoy hearing from grown unschoolers. And sometimes we’re like, it’s not about a product or it’s not one path. Halie’s path is her own. But I think it does show this weaving in of these different pieces, these threads and how it can look so different than what the traditional paths are. I do hope you’ll also check out Halie’s website, which is growingedgeequineimity.com. But we’ll also put it in the show notes so you can find it there. And before we go, I want to invite everyone to join us at the Living Joyful Network. It’s a warm and welcoming online community of like-hearted parents, a non-judgmental space where you can steep in these unconventional ideas and explore what it might look like day to day in your family and ask questions and just see it in action too. Your first month is free so you can get a sense of whether the community is a good fit for you and we would love to see you there. To learn more and to join us, just follow the link in the show notes or you can go to livingjoyfully.ca and choose Network in the menu. So thank you everyone again and take care. Thank you, Halie. PAM: Thanks, Halie. So nice to see you.

This episode is all about nonviolent homeschool communication — specifically, the patterns that make it harder than it needs to be. Nonviolent homeschool communication starts here — with understanding these old patterns. And there is one book that has shaped how I think about this more than any other. I’ve read a lot of books on relationships, parenting, connection, and attachment over the years — more than I can count. But Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication is the one I keep coming back to. For me, it is the bible of relationships and communication. And it has changed how I show up in my homeschool in ways I didn’t expect. Here’s what it taught me. https://youtu.be/J7kN_HHX52c?si=jZyaiXFDGyilrnsw But first, how does Marshall Rosenberg define nonviolent communication? NVC (aka Nonviolent Communication) is a language of life that helps us transform old patterns of defensiveness and aggressiveness into compassion and empathy and to improve the quality of all of our relationships. (Definition provided by the Center for Non-Violent Communication). We all have old patterns that need to be transformed. And we definitely notice we have reactive, defensive, and aggressive patterns when we attempt to create relationships. Certainly, we notice this when we saturate ourselves in the homeschool parenting role. The 4 NVC Components That Transform Nonviolent Homeschool Communication Observation: Observation without evaluation consists of noticing concrete things and actions around us. We learn to distinguish between judgment and what we sense in the present moment and to simply observe what is there. Feeling: When we notice things around us, we inevitably experience varying emotions and physical sensations in each particular moment. Here, distinguishing feelings from thoughts is an essential step in the NVC process. Needs: All individuals have needs and values that sustain and enrich their lives. When those needs are met, we experience comfortable feelings, like happiness or peacefulness, and when they are not, we experience uncomfortable feelings, like frustration. Understanding that we, as well as those around us, have these needs is perhaps the most important step in learning to practice NVC and live empathically. Request: To make clear and present requests is crucial to NVC's transformative mission. When we learn to request concrete actions that can be carried out in the present moment, we begin to find ways to cooperatively and creatively ensure that everyone's needs are met. (Definitions provided by the Center for Non-Violent Communication). Here’s how each component transforms homeschool communication in real life. Lesson One — The Homeschool Communication Shift That Changes Everything “What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart.” ― Marshall B. Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life This is what we all want: we want a flow within ourselves and between us. But we’re not all trained to enable that flow. We have walls built up to defend ourselves; sometimes we even have spikes and landmines built up to defend ourselves. Either way, those defenses don’t build relationships. Vulnerability and authenticity allow relationships to expand and grow. Nonviolent homeschool communication requires this foundation first — self-compassion. And that is an easy thing to say and a less easy thing to do. Big Emotions Journal for the Homeschool Mom Are you a homeschool mom navigating the ups and downs of daily life with your kids? Introducing the Homeschool Mama's Toolbox—a powerful resource to help you manage big emotions like anger, guilt, or overwhelm with clarity and intention. $9.99 Original price was: $9.99.$6.99Current price is: $6.99. Shop now Lesson Two — Homeschool Communication and Grace “All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently, those people deserve to be punished.” ― Marshall B. Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life We do what we do because that is what we know to do in the scenario at the time. And in the words of Maya Angelou, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.“ If we have a growth mindset about life and relationships, how we show up will shift over time. Growth changes everything. Over time, we show up differently in the same scenarios — five, ten, or twenty years later — if we choose that path. Looking back in regret and shame is one option. Forgiving ourselves and growing is another. And when we grow humble and self-aware enough, we realize that others aren’t trying to intentionally cause us pain or friction either. Punishment didn’t teach us when we simply didn’t know better. It won’t serve the people engaging us wrongly now either. So we choose grace — the same grace we’d want extended to our own growing selves. This shift in perspective is at the heart of nonviolent homeschool communication. Lesson Three — What Anger Is Really Telling You “At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled.” ― Marshall B. Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life Anger is that mighty sharp tip of an iceberg that protects our fragile hearts. It’s a useful tool to self-protect. But it also protects or keeps us from connecting with others if we self-protect too hard. Under the mighty iceberg of anger’s sharp tip is a whole lotta other big emotions. You name the emotion, it’s there. And those emotions are always fueled by our unmet needs. Nonviolent homeschool communication asks us to address those needs directly rather than react to the emotion on the surface. So we need to address our own needs and respectfully request that others meet our needs, so that we don’t spend our lives reactively, angrily demanding others meet our needs, and/or never connecting with ourselves or others. Lesson Four — The Danger of Not Knowing Yourself “We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.” ― Marshall B. Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life You know when you’re not a parent and you have heaped judgments on your own parents parenting approaches BUT THEN you have kids??? And all you can think to yourself is DANG, this parenting thing is only easy when I’m not doing it. (& also, I can see now that my parents were doing the best they could do with what they knew to do in their parenting years, no matter how unhealthy things were). Because parenting is SO CHALLENGING at times. Every parenting book I’ve read had something to say. And I’ve appreciated most of them for something. But this core point, that we need to grow in self-awareness and self-compassion has had the most impact on my parenting approach. I’ve made the gamut of parenting mistakes. I really have. Which means I have regret. (& lest you try to console me for my perfectly imperfect parenting, I will go to my grave regretting them, but I also don’t fuel them with self-contempt). Self-shaming won’t change how I engage my kids now. Mistakes were made — I’m human. Healthy examples weren’t always available to me, and no matter how many parenting books or hours in a therapist’s office, I was bound to struggle with this one relationship: the relationship with myself. My defenses and my reactiveness towards things that hurt me or offended me or confused me were my instinctive armour and battle gear that I brought into my family life, as a wife, and as a mother. I wish this weren’t true. But it is. I had (& still have) armour and battle gear. Do I like that? Hell no. Will it serve me to pretend that these patterns weren’t mine at the beginning of my family journey? Again, hell no. I’ve learned that including practices in self-awareness has helped me see me a little more clearly (a little more, because there will always be room for more self-awareness, I’ll never see myself clearly). Or in the words of Carl Rogers, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Self-awareness is the foundation of nonviolent homeschool communication — and this is where it starts. Lesson Five — You Are Not Vanilla “My theory is that we get depressed because we're not getting what we want, and we're not getting what we want because we have never been taught to get what we want. Instead, we've been taught to be good little boys and girls and good mothers and fathers. If we're going to be one of those good things, better get used to being depressed. Depression is the reward we get for being “good.” But, if you want to feel better, I'd like you to clarify what you would like people to do to make life more wonderful for you.” ― Marshall B. Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life If we don’t acknowledge who we are, that we are separate people, and that we have separate needs, we force ourselves to go underground. Our identity becomes like vanilla ice cream. Vanilla is a flavour of ice cream, sure (aka it’s a personality of ice cream types, though it is a basic personality). But it doesn’t have a specific personality, a particular flavour, or a particular texture. It has an entry-level nothingness. (Clearly vanilla is not my favourite. Bring on the peppermint chocolate chip). But we each aren’t vanilla personalities: we have our own flair, our own flavour, and our own textures. We are unique and are meant to be here for a special purpose. When we put our efforts toward being good or right, enabling ourselves to go undercover, we aren’t really us. And so does our nonviolent homeschool communication. And when we put our efforts toward fully accepting all of our parts, and each of our needs, and acknowledging our real selves, we flourish. The Homeschool Communication Tool I Use Every Day The very most important thing I gain from Marshall Rosenberg’s book, Nonviolent Communication, is this fill-in-the-blank statement. It is a useful tool: a fill-in-the-blank conversation “instruction manual” to address my needs and request someone to engage my needs (which, not coincidentally when you practice doing this for you, makes it awfully easy to engage for others too). When I see that______________ I feel ______________ because my need for ________________ is/is not met. Would you be willing to __________________? This single sentence changed my nonviolent homeschool communication more than any other tool I’ve found. So my goal in my relationships with my kids and my relationship with my partner is to make observations, clarify and express my feelings, declare my underlying needs, and ask for my needs to be met. That simple. And not easy at all. If you want to go deeper in nonviolent homeschool communication Here are three ways I can support you: Reading That Restores You — Book Club Newsletter Every Wednesday morning, a warm, thoughtful reflection lands in your inbox drawn from the books we’re exploring together — including Nonviolent Communication. Journaling prompts. Practical takeaways for your homeschool communication and your life. You don’t have to read the book. You just have to show up for yourself on a Wednesday morning. Sign up free here. Get My Weekly Book Reflection The Confident Homeschool Mom Collective If you want to work through homeschool communication challenges live — with a community of women who genuinely get this life — come join us in the Collective. This month, we’re exploring Nonviolent Communication together. Roundtable conversations, book club discussion, writer’s room, and actionable strategy sessions. Every Friday. Your first Friday is completely free. Join the Collective here. Book a Free Aligned Homeschool Reset Session If homeschool communication with a specific child or your partner feels particularly stuck right now — I’d love to think through it with you. Book a free no-obligation Aligned Homeschool Reset Session and let’s look at what’s really happening and what might need to shift. Book your free session here. Book your free Aligned Homeschool Reset Session Keep Reading How to Use Non-Violent Communication in our Homeschools The Homeschool Communication Mistake Parents Make & How to Change It Counseling 101: a Homeschool Parent's Most Important Skill Conflict Resolution Toolbox How Listening to our Trauma Stories can Enable our Homeschool Families Homeschool Kids are the Audience to the Homeschool Marriage How to Address Your Big Emotions with Christine Dixon A Homeschool Mom Podcast to Transform Your Life Perspective-Shifting Homeschool Coaching Discussions Foster Strong Relationships in Your Homeschool Family Hold Onto Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld in Homeschool Mama Book Club How Marie Forleo Informs my Homeschool How Brene Brown's Inspiring Thoughts have Informed my Homeschool 8 Ways to Build Healthy Relationships in Your Homeschool Family The Ultimate Guide to Building Boundaries and Healthy Relationships for Homeschool Moms 13 Things Mentally Strong Don't Do: Amy Morin influences my homeschool Enneagram: A Self-Awareness Tool That Makes You a Better Educator, Mom & Partner 5 Reasons Your Homeschool Child Won't Do Work & How to Motivate Your Child How Brene Brown's Atlas of the Heart Influences our Homeschools Latest episodes 13 Things Mentally Strong Homeschool Moms Don’t Do August 11, 2026 7 Questions Homeschool Moms Are Afraid to Ask Out Loud August 4, 2026 How to Improve Homeschool Communication with the Best NVC August 4, 2026 How to Stop Taking Your Child’s Behaviour Personally July 21, 2026 You’re Invited to the Homeschool Mom Book Club 2026 July 14, 2026 Post-Partum Overwhelm in Your Homeschool: 12 Ways to Cope July 12, 2026 A 2023 High School Graduate’s Thoughts on her Homeschool Life July 11, 2026 What It’s Like? The Homeschool to High School Transition July 11, 2026 Navigate Homeschool High School (What You Need to Know) July 7, 2026 How to Set Realistic High School Expectations? Learn Human Development July 3, 2026 Declutter Your Homeschool Mama Mind: Overwhelm to On Purpose July 2, 2026 How to Handle Homeschool Criticism With Confidence June 29, 2026 How to Create a Personalized Homeschool High School That Fits Your Teen June 23, 2026 The Real Cost Of Being The “Good Girl” Who Became The Good Mom June 16, 2026 What Is an Education Anyway? Your Answer Changes Your Homeschool June 8, 2026 5 Reasons Your Homeschool Child Won’t Do Work & How to Motivate Your Child June 2, 2026 Crush 1st-Year Homeschool Frustrations and Plan a Smooth Year 2 May 30, 2026 Encouragement for Homeschool Moms in the 1st Year May 30, 2026 Transitioning into Homeschool High School: What We're Really Talking About May 26, 2026 Registered Homeschooling vs Online Learning BC: What Really Matters May 19, 2026 Homeschool Year End Review: Celebrating your Success & Growth May 12, 2026 When You Buy New Homeschool Curriculum: 5 Clever Suggestions May 6, 2026 The Truth About Homeschooling the “Right Way” — But What Works May 5, 2026 9 Steps to Thrive: Confident Homeschool Mom in Year 1 April 28, 2026 What If Your Unrealistic Expectations Are Actually Your Greatest Asset? April 21, 2026 Overcome Imposter Syndrome: How to Build Confidence as a Homeschool Mom April 14, 2026 How to Get Started Homeschooling in 2026 April 11, 2026 9 Mistakes That Make Your 1st Homeschool Year Stressful (& How to Avoid Them) April 9, 2026 How to Make Confident Homeschool Decisions (Without Seeking Permission) April 7, 2026 How to Homeschool When Everyone Has ADHD (And You’re Exhausted) March 31, 2026 Exhausted Homeschool Mom? 8 Things That Will Give You Hope March 24, 2026 Stop Second-Guessing as a Homeschool Mom (& Use Your Magic) March 17, 2026 “You’re Not Falling Apart. You’re in the Winter Homeschool Slump.” March 10, 2026 The Lies Homeschool Moms Believe That Makes Everything Harder March 2, 2026 You’re Not Failing. You’re Caught In An Inner Critic Loop. Here’s How to Get Out February 24, 2026 How to Stop People-Pleasing as a Homeschool Mom (One Mom’s Story) February 17, 2026 How to Stop the Inner Critic as a Homeschool Mom: The Charmed Life I Was Chasing (& the Pattern I Didn’t Know I Was Living) February 10, 2026 The Most Important Way to Take Care of Yourself as an Overwhelmed Homeschool Mom February 2, 2026 How to Do Kindergarten in Your Homeschool: A Fun & Effective Guide January 29, 2026 The Real Reason You’re Overwhelmed (It’s Not the Curriculum) January 26, 2026 Unexpected Feelings When Your Homeschooler Gets Accepted to University January 22, 2026 How to Stop Being a Hostage to Homeschool Pressure (& What to Do Instead) January 19, 2026 The Truth About Finding Your Homeschool Rhythm January 13, 2026 The Confident Homeschool Mom Podcast: Introducing the 1% Pivot January 6, 2026 Purpose-Driven Homeschool Planning for 2026: How to Recalibrate the Year with Clarity December 23, 2025 1% Shift to a Calm Homeschool Life December 23, 2025 12 Things I've Learned About Homeschool Moms: Self-Care Tips for Overwhelmed Homeschool Moms December 10, 2025 12-Day Homeschool Mom Self-Care Challenge to Come Back to Yourself December 2, 2025 What is the Reimagine Your Homeschool Group Coaching? November 18, 2025 Not Just a Homeschool Mom — Why You’re Disappearing (And How to Come Back) November 11, 2025 Subscribe to the Confident Homeschool Mom podcast YouTube Apple Audible Spotify Originally published July 6, 2022. Updated August 4, 2026. (function(m,a,i,l,e,r){ m['MailerLiteObject']=e;function f(){ var c={ a:arguments,q:[]};var r=this.push(c);return "number"!=typeof r?r:f.bind(c.q);} f.q=f.q||[];m[e]=m[e]||f.bind(f.q);m[e].q=m[e].q||f.q;r=a.createElement(i); var _=a.getElementsByTagName(i)[0];r.async=1;r.src=l+'?v'+(~~(new Date().getTime()/1000000)); _.parentNode.insertBefore(r,_);})(window, document, 'script', 'https://static.mailerlite.com/js/universal.js', 'ml'); var ml_account = ml('accounts', '1815912', 'p9n9c0c7s5', 'load');

Dans cette mini-série en cinq épisodes, Lika Sarr reçoit Anne-Marie Tandetnik et ensemble, elles se consacrent à la Communication Non Violente (CNV).Une approche souvent citée, parfois mal comprise, et qui soulève de nombreuses questions sur la manière dont nous communiquons, posons un cadre, exerçons notre autorité et prenons soin du lien — avec les enfants comme entre adultes. Pour ouvrir cette mini-série, nous avions envie de revenir à l'essentiel.Avant de parler d'outils, de situations concrètes ou d'applications dans nos métiers et nos familles, il nous semblait essentiel de poser un cadre clair. Dans cet épisode, nous allons prendre le temps de comprendre ce qu'est réellement la CNV, d'où elle vient, et surtout à quoi elle sert. Cette approche développée par Marshall Rosenberg est souvent associée à l'idée de « bien parler », alors qu'elle engage en réalité une posture beaucoup plus profonde dans la relation à soi et à l'autre.Bonne écoute ✨►Pour contacter Anne Marie Tandetnik https://www.linkedin.com/in/anne-marie-tandetnik-85640b28/►Pour contacter l'association La Coop CNV regroupant les intervenants formés à la CNV https://lacoopcnv.com/►L'association Déclic https://declic-cnveducation.org/► Livre de Marschall Rosenberg https://www.editionsladecouverte.fr/les_mots_sont_des_fenetres_ou_bien_ce_sont_des_murs-9782707188793↓ E N S A V O I R + ↓► Réservez une place dans une de nos crèches

Eleven years ago, following Marshall Rosenberg's death, I wrote an essay titled Making Life Wonderful. Reading it again recently, I was reminded of just how profound my encounter with Rosenberg was, and how the encounter continues to reverberate.This episode is an account of what drew me to Nonviolent Communication in the first place .. a powerful way of seeing that asks us to take responsibility for our lives, our impact on others, and the world at large. NVC is revolutionary work in that it asks us to reconsider existing beliefs about human behaviour and what drives us to do as we do. A rarely comfortable exercise but very worthwhile. The original 2015 essay is available on my blog: https://www.rachellelamb.com/blog/2015/2/12/marshall-rosenberg-making-life-wonderfulFind Rachelle: rachellelamb.com

This episode with host Timothy Regan is part 2 of “Back to Basics” with Dr. Marshall Rosenberg in his own words. Timothy shares an excerpt from Marshall's teaching, where through stories and clear examples, he demonstrates how to apply the “language of life” to the work of expressing what we want to change, in ourselves and others.     Talk It Out Radio-A how-to and what-to-do program where skilled hosts welcome guests and callers to practice empathy, mindfulness, and effective communication. Do you want tools for connection, conflict resolution, and compassion for self and others? We explore skills, knowledge and resources to empower you to connect across differences. The post How Do I Effectively Create Change and Evolution in Myself and the World with Compassion? appeared first on KPFA.

Join host Timothy Regan for Back to the Basics of Nonviolent Communication as taught by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg himself!   Talk It Out Radio is: A how-to and what-to-do program where skilled hosts welcome guests and callers to practice empathy, mindfulness, and effective communication. Do you want tools for connection, conflict resolution, and compassion for self and others? We explore skills, knowledge and resources to empower you to connect across differences. The post Back to the Basics of Nonviolent Communication with Founder Dr. Marshall Rosenberg appeared first on KPFA.

Niptech Podcast (www.niptech.com) présente "Au dela des 4 accords Toltèques - comment l'invisible transforme nos vies" avec l'ecrivain Olivier Clerc

What does it mean to live simply in a culture built on excess? In this episode of Nonviolence Radio, Stephanie Van Hook and Michael Nagler speak with environmental activist Robin Greenfield, whose latest experiment is to forage 100% of his food and medicine while traveling the country to help people rediscover their relationship with the Earth. Together they explore simplicity as a practice of nonviolence, the illusion of separateness, and how reconnecting with nature, community, and ourselves can become a profound act of resistance. As Greenfield reflects, "Connection is at the root of the solution to all of our problems, and disconnection is at the core of our societal woes." Drawing on influences including Gandhi, Peace Pilgrim, Thich Nhat Hanh, Marshall Rosenberg, and Robin Wall Kimmerer, Greenfield shares how a life of voluntary simplicity has become not one of sacrifice, but of greater freedom, joy, and connection. 

„Błędy młodego mecenasa” - trzeci odcinek podcastu „Toga bez wroga”, do którego serdecznie zapraszam. To takie mało popularne, takie nieprawnicze, powiedzieć „popełniłem mnóstwo błędów w tej robocie”. Prawnicy nie popełniają błędów! This is Sparta… and we are the champions. Dlatego też dziś śmiało mogę napisać… Popełniłem, przez 18 lat, mnóstwo błędów w tej robocie. I cieszy mnie to… Dlaczego cieszy? Posłuchaj podcastu. Marshall Rosenberg, wspaniały człowiek uczący komunikacji bez przemocy (nonviolent communication) napisał: „Nie ma czegoś takiego jak błędy. Błąd to nic innego tylko działanie, które podjęliśmy kiedyś, ponieważ nie wiedzieliśmy tego, co wiemy dziś”. Tym razem w podcaście szczerze dzielę się błędami, które popełniłem na zawodowej ścieżce :) Wróć! Nie błędami, a doświadczeniami, które sprawiają, że jestem tu gdzie jestem i robię to, co kocham robić. Na pewno odnajdziesz w mojej historii kawałek swojego prawniczego życia. Te błędy, to nie tylko „moje” doświadczenia. Na każdej sesji, któryś z tych błędów pojawia się w narracji mojego klienta. Po prostu wszyscy to robimy (do czasu!) - jedni mniej, inni bardziej. Jednak każda prawniczka, każdy prawnik, część z tych błędów ma wpisane w swoje codzienne funkcjonowanie. Ten kto błądzi, rzadko to widzi. Być spojrzenie na kogoś innego, kto błądził, pomoże Ci zobaczysz własne błądzenie. Mnie te wszystkie „błędy” ciągle pchały do przodu, w kierunku życia takiego jakiego chcę - zdefiniowanego, a nie takiego, które było dziełem przypadku. Do takiego spojrzenia na błędy i porażki dziś Cię zapraszam.

After two years, Rachelle returns to revisit the foundations of Nonviolent Communication.What Nonviolent Communication Was Meant to Be, and What It's BecomeBeginning with the opening page of Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall Rosenberg, this episode centers on two defining questions:• What disconnects us from our compassionate nature?• What allows us to remain connected to it, even under the most trying circumstances?From there, this episode explores how Nonviolent Communication is often criticized as ineffective, overly focused on feelings, or disconnected from reality.Drawing on the example of Etty Hillesum, this conversation points to a form of compassion that is not sentimental, but grounded, discerning, and rooted in a wider understanding of the human condition.This marks the beginning of a broader exploration into relationships, culture, and what it means to relate, not only from personal needs, but in response to life itself.If you'd like to stay connected and hear about future episodes, writings, and offerings, you're welcome to join my mailing list:https://www.rachellelamb.com

In this episode, I am once again joined by Dr Christopher “Hareesh” Wallis, a Sanskritist and scholar-practitioner of Classical Tantra. Christopher shares how he became a spiritual teacher, explains the dangers of guru idealisation, and considers if he may be misleading his students. Christopher discusses his own series of religious peak experiences, explores their causes, and reflects on their consequences. Christopher recalls his time studying with American spiritual teacher Adyanshanti, the influence of Marshall Rosenberg, and reveals how his ability to spot fake gurus improved after his awakening. … Full episode at www.guruviking.com. Also available on Youtube, iTunes, & Spotify – search ‘Guru Viking Podcast'. … Topics include: 00:00 - Intro 00:43 - Studying under Alexis Sanderson 04:16 - Faithfulness to the traditions 05:38 - The requirements to understand tantric sources 06:24 - Secrecy and the oral tradition 09:07 - Did Sanderson receive Lakshmanjoo's energetic transmission 12:28 - Academic approaches to religion 13:28 - Public vs private religion 14:23 - Why isn't Sanderson religious? 16:40 - Is Shaivite Tantra a relic of the past? 17:42 - Does religious affiliation contaminate academic objectivity? 20:43 - Cabezón on the benefits of an insider perspective on religious 21:44 - Piety and devotion as motives 23:02 - Humanists can have devotion too 23:43 - Cynicism about human motives 24:50 - Loss of trust in gurus 26:39 - Famous gurus want to be famous 28:30 - How gurus fall 31:25 - How Christopher became a spiritual teacher 33:33 - Switching from academia to freelance spiritual teaching 25:22 - Is Christopher a guru? 39:30 - Does Christopher mislead his students? 44:21 - Christopher's experience of flow when teaching 47:20 - Feeling the presence of past masters 49:30 - Self-deception and collusion with students 53:02 - Student-teacher projection 54:29 - Christopher's experience with naive projection 56:23 - How Christopher deals with idealisation 57:52 - Why your biggest fans can become your greatest haters 59:14 - A story of praise and blame 01:01:55 - Christopher's spiritual journey 01:05:22 - Studying with Adyashanti 01:08:26 - Christopher's awakening 01:09:45 - What is vs one's mental representation 01:14:39 - Sudden or gradual? 01:18:08 - Freedom from mental constructs 01:20:08 - Non-violent communication 01:24:13 - Am I good enough? 01:26:31 - Aftermath of an awakening experience 01:29:58 - Glimpse vs abiding shift 01:33:42 - Spotting fake gurus after awakening 01:35:57 - Changes in doctrinal understanding 01:40:22 - Challenging the true believer 01:42:29 - Denying the Buddhist doctrine of no-self 01:43:26 - 3 stages of awakening 01:47:41 - Christopher's “Tantra 112” meditation app … Previous episode with Christopher Wallis: - https://www.guruviking.com/search?q=wallis To find our more about Dr Christopher Wallis visit: - https://hareesh.org/ For more interviews, videos, and more visit: - https://www.guruviking.com Music ‘Deva Dasi' by Steve James

Est-ce que vous avez parfois du mal à vous pardonner, même après avoir commis des erreurs ou fait des choix que vous regrettez ?Vous vous sentez bloqué·e par votre propre juge intérieur ? Vous avez l'impression de ne jamais être à la hauteur, ni pour vous-même ni pour les autres ?Peut-être que ce poids que vous traînez influence vos relations, votre bien-être, et votre capacité à vivre pleinement.Dans ce podcast, on parle beaucoup de pardon, mais qu'est-ce que se pardonner vraiment signifie au quotidien ?Dans cet épisode, on explore le lien profond entre pardon, amour de soi et liberté intérieure.J'accueille Olivier Clerc, auteur du livre "Le Pardon à soi".Olivier Clerc est un écrivain d'origine suisse, conférencier international et facilitateur expérimenté, installé en France. Fort de 40 ans d'expérience, il est l'auteur de 26 ouvrages – dans les domaines de la spiritualité, du développement personnel et de la littérature jeunesse – avec des traductions en 17 langues.Il est le fondateur des Cercles de Pardon, une pratique transformatrice aujourd'hui présente dans 16 pays, et Président d'honneur de l'Association Pardon International.Il a collaboré étroitement avec plusieurs figures majeures telles que Marshall Rosenberg, Charles Rojzman, Don Miguel Ruiz, Stanislav Grof ou encore Deepak Chopra, dont il a traduit et publié de nombreux ouvrages en français.Aujourd'hui, Olivier Clerc est largement reconnu comme l'une des voix majeures sur le thème du pardon, une question essentielle tant sur le plan personnel que collectif, à laquelle il a consacré l'essentiel de son œuvre.

If you listen to this podcast or have worked with me in any of my programs, you are already practicing Nonviolent Communication (whether you realize it or not). Today's guest, Margot Magowan, is an expert on Nonviolent Communication, and she's here to show you how to use those principles for better connection with your kids. You'll Learn:The basic principles of Nonviolent Communication and how to use them in parentingExamples of using NVC in real-life situationsWays that your own needs show up in your parenting (and healthier ways to meet them)How to focus on how your child is feeling, even if their story isn't totally factual-----------------------------------------------------Margot Magowan, a mom of 3, says that learning about Nonviolent Communication helped to transform everything for her family. When her oldest daughter was 15 years old, she started having behavioral health challenges, like refusing to go to school, abusing drugs, and stealing. Over the course of 3 years, she went to various wilderness and residential programs, receiving access to all kinds of support and resources. Now, at age 22, Margot's daughter is thriving. She says, “I really credit it to me and my husband learning how to listen to her.” In her coaching practice, Margot supports other parents in learning how to truly listen to their children with presence and curiosity.The Basics of Nonviolent CommunicationNonviolent Communication (NVC) was created by Marshall Rosenburg, who believes that all human behavior is motivated by an attempt to meet certain universal needs. Margot explains that NVC is made up of 4 parts: observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Take the example of you and your partner getting ready to go to a party, and you're worried you're going to be late. Instead of saying, “We're gonna be late. Hurry up!”, using NVC might look like this:Observation - The invitation says 7:30, and it's 6:30 nowFeeling - I'm feeling anxiousNeed - My need for security isn't being metRequest - Would you be willing to leave in 15 minutes?Margot says that when she first learned this, it felt a little robotic (and her kids hated it when she talked to them that way). She says that what really helped it to feel more authentic was when she focused on her energy rather than her language.Basically, it's not about the script. It's about focusing on connection. This is called NVC Consciousness, which Margot explains as “being open and curious and present and compassionate to whatever is happening.” You're not trying to fix anything (sound familiar?).It goes hand in hand with the Connection Tool that I teach. You're going into the situation as a neutral witness and viewing your child's behavior as an expression of needs or feelings that they don't know how to handle. Ultimately, Nonviolent Communication is:Focusing on your feelingsIdentifying the universal needs underneath those feelingsExpressing that truth honestly, while staying connected to a person's humanityIt's important to keep in mind that the goal of NVC is not to get to the other emotion. Or to get compliance out of our kids. Although these things do sometimes often happen when we show up in a compassionate way. The Universal NeedsThere are quite a few universal needs within NVC (if you want to see them all, Margot has a free list for you here). She helped us out by breaking it down into a few key categories:Connection MeaningAutonomyHonestyPhysical Well-BeingPeacePlayFor example, if you walk into your child's room and find them lying in bed when they're supposed to be cleaning their room, your first thought might be, “Ugh, my kid is lazy. They're not doing what they're supposed to do.”After that initial thought passes, ask yourself, “What need are they trying to meet?” Maybe it's comfort or ease, and this is their best strategy to do that. Then, you can look at the behavior through a more neutral lens.And as a parent, if you're feeling angry, resentful, or frustrated, you probably have some sort of need that's not being met. Be really gentle with yourself in wondering why the situation is upsetting you so much.Margot says that NVC has made her more aware of her own needs and how to get them met. She says, “I was using all 3 of my kids to meet my own needs…I didn't need to shift my kids' behavior to meet my needs.” She figured out new strategies to take care of herself. Now, she sees that a lot of moms hold to strict rules for their kids because they are trying to meet their own need for safety. If you find yourself being rigid somewhere, ask yourself, “What am I scared of? What am I making this mean?” This is how you get to CALM. By managing your own needs and taking care of yourself, you can then show up in a connected, compassionate way for your child. The Giraffe and the JackalIn Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg uses two animal metaphors: a Giraffe and a Jackal.The Giraffe is compassionate, open, and curious. The Jackal is more judgemental and angry. One of the things that Margot coaches parents on is spending time with the Jackal when it shows up. And how to get your needs met from someplace other than your kid (having a safe container, like a coach, to bring these feelings and needs to is super helpful). You can ask for this clearly if you're talking to your partner or a friend. Say something like, “I just want empathy. I just want you to listen to me and not try to make it better or fix it or take it away.” You can also do this for yourself in a journal if you need to. Here's the magic. When you show up as the Giraffe and listen to your kid and they feel safe and their nervous system regulates, they reach that state of compassion and curiosity in themselves. Margot says, “I feel like we're doing such a service of actually modeling how to show up for them so they can show up for themselves and be healthy adults.”Challenging ChangeThere is a real obstacle that happens when we change our parenting. Our children want what is reliable and predictable. So even if you've been yelling, this is what they know and expect. When you change your behavior, your kid might not feel like it's trustworthy or safe right away. It's unfamiliar, like you're an imposter. It freaks them out. Margot explains that her kids thought the yelling parents were the authentic ones. They didn't totally trust them when they stopped yelling and started trying this new approach. Your child might even try to pull you back into your own pattern. Their behavior will escalate and they'll almost want you to yell, because that's what they're used to. You have to restrain yourself and stay within your new value system long enough to get all the way through that emotion.Eventually, they will catch up to the new version. And they'll really like this calmer, more connected parent that you're becoming. It just takes some time. Doing something different isn't always easy in the short term, but the long term gains are so worth it.Previous Episodes:Episode 2.16 - The Connection Tool [New & Improved]Connect with Margot:Get the “Feelings & Needs List” that Margot talked about in this episode: https://listen2connectcoach.com/resourcesFollow Margot on Instagram @listen2connectcoach Learn more about her coaching, workshops, and more at https://listen2connectcoach.com/ Free Resources:Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Cheat Sheet!In this free guide you'll discover:✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you've started (This one thing will get you calm.)✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)Download the Stop Yelling Cheat Sheet hereConnect With Darlynn:Book a complimentary session with DarlynnLearn about the different parenting programs at www.calmmamacoaching.comFollow me on Instagram @darlynnchildress for daily tipsRate and review the podcast on Itunes

In this exploration of divine connection and emotional awareness, Madison Margolin and communication coach Tsiporah Gottesman Bortz frame communication as a sacred practice for healing and self-expression.Learn more about Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and its developer here. This time on Set & Setting, Madison and Tsiporah have a conversation about: Tsiporah's connection to Ram Dass after his death, and asking his spirit for guidanceHow spiritual teachers make themselves known in auspicious ways Seeing our life as a movie: objective narration in order to gain more perspectiveLinking NVC & Hisbodedus (a Jewish practice of personal and heartfelt conversation with God)Tips for people who have communication blocks with the divine Bringing mindfulness and deep listening to our conversationsTuning into feelings rather than language Communication as a type of prayer and accessing the deepest part of us that wants to be expressedKeeping a “feelings & needs” journal, allowing our feelings and needs to existMoments of peace through Katonah Yoga, a hatha practice woven with sacred geometry and metaphor Psychedelic experiences and seeing how psychedelic life can be without plant medicineAbout Tsiporah Gottesman Bortz:Tsiporah Gottesman Bortz is a communication coach, mediator, and teacher with over 15 years of experience guiding individuals and groups in practices of presence, awareness, and connection. She teaches yoga, most recently through Katonah Yoga, and has completed Vipassana meditation training, which continues to inform and shape her work.Her approach to communication is rooted in Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication and is enriched by somatic practices, including Somatic Experiencing. She supports people in cultivating deep self-understanding and the ability to remain present and grounded, even in the midst of challenge.Tsiporah also draws from her experience in integration work, helping individuals make sense of and find meaning in profound inner experiences. Keep up with Tsiporah on her Instagram."Stagnant water is like a swamp or puddle. Healthy water is a river you can drink from; it's moving, it's alive. Those things inside of us that can feel really heavy, when we allow them to move, the stagnation starts to go away, and life force moves through us. It's moving to allow it to be part of us, when it can be alive in us, it doesn't create lethargy or stagnation. Hisbodedus is this way of expressing from our heart, speaking to creation, and staying big and alive even when we feel like something is closing in on us." –Tsiporah Gottesman BortzSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why do so many conversations leave people feeling worse instead of better?In this episode, John walks through a powerful framework for communicating without condemnation, based on the work of Marshall Rosenberg:observe without evaluatingname your feelingsidentify your needsmake clear requestsThen he shows what it looks like in real life through one of Jesus' most famous conversations — His encounter with the Samaritan woman in John 4.Instead of judging or correcting her, Jesus:crosses social and relational barrierslistens beneath the surfacespeaks truth without shamecreates connection before correctionAnd the result?A woman who felt fully known… and still accepted.You'll learn:why most communication quietly damages relationshipshow to speak truth without condemnationwhat it means to listen for deeper needshow curiosity can transform difficult conversationswhy being known and accepted changes everythingBecause the goal isn't to win the conversation.It's to love the person.

Sometimes it's hard to say what you mean. Oren Jay Sofer says, "Communication is a learnable skill and it's one of the most powerful levers for making change in your life and the world." Non-violent communication is about taking responsibility for what we are experiencing using empathy, deep listening, know how to make requests.// This episode is a replay from the Sonya Looney Show. It originally aired October 22, 2020. //Author and renowned meditation instructor Oren Jay Sofer regularly teaches a mindful approach to non-violent communication. spent two and a half years of living as an Anagarika (renunciate) at branch monasteries in the Ajahn Chah Thai Forest lineage. Today, his teaching combines classical Buddhist training with the accessible language of secular mindfulness.  Since the early 2000s, Oren has had a deep interest in the relationship between contemplative practice and communication. A graduate of the BayNVC North American Leadership Training, he has taught classes and workshops in Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication (NVC) nationally since 2006. His innovative retreats and online programs in Mindful Communication offer one of the only opportunities in the U.S today to explore the intersection between formal meditation practice, Right Speech and NVC.  Oren  is the founder and Guiding Teacher of Next Step Dharma, an innovative online course focused on bringing the tools of meditation to daily life, and co-founder of Mindful Healthcare.  Oren has created mindfulness programs for organizations, companies, and apps including Apple, Kaiser Permanente, Lumosity, Calm, 10% Happier, Simple Habit and others.I loved his book, Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication.  In the book, a main theme is that every thought or feeling is there to try to meet a need.  If you can try to figure out what need your thoughts are tied to, it's easier to articulate what you need to those around you.  It's also useful when listening to someone in a disucssion or conflict to tease out what need they are trying to have met.  I also enjoyed learning about conflict and viewing it as a way to deepen relationships. I also learned that non-violent communication and conflict resolution isn't necessarily to try to get someone to do things your way, it's about deepening understanding of one another because sometimes we simply can't agree to have the same viewpoint.   Non-violent communication has a framework of observation, the feeling, the needs and values to be met, and the request.Three questions you can ask yourself are what happened, how do I feel about it, and why?I also loved learning about how to use mindfulness in listening and communication as well as how to ground yourself in your own body when tensions rise.Topics Discussed in the Podcast from childhood actor to meditation instructor4 types of conflict avoidanceself-empathytools for internal pressureNo mud, no lotusaddressing the voiceless and gender constructshow to make requests of othersResourcesOren Jay Sofer's websiteGet Oren's book: Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication--------------The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co. 

There's a voice in your head that never stops talking.But not every voice deserves to be trusted.In this episode, John Ortberg explores the difference between self-condemnation and conviction. Drawing on insights from Ignatius of Loyola, Marshall Rosenberg, and Michael Singer, John shows how comparison and inner criticism can spiral into despair.But the voice of God works differently.Self-condemnation attacks your identity.Conviction speaks to your actions.Self-condemnation leads to hiding.Conviction leads to hope and change.Learning to recognize the difference may be one of the most important spiritual skills you ever develop.Because the voice you listen to insideis usually the voice you use with others.There is now… therefore… no condemnation.

Dear Listener, does communicating with your partner sometimes feel like an uphill battle? Do you find yourself saying things you don't mean—or struggling to say what you do mean without it landing as an attack? What if there were a way to communicate that actually brought you closer, even during conflict?In this episode, we're joined by Relationship Center therapist and couples counselor Nicole Penrod to explore Nonviolent Communication (NVC)—a powerful framework for transforming how you and your partner talk to each other.Nicole breaks down the basics of NVC (also called compassionate communication), originally developed by Marshall Rosenberg. At its core, NVC helps us move from reactive, judgmental communication to empathetic, connecting conversation. Think less jackal (defensive, fear-driven) and more giraffe (big-hearted, slow, and steady).We walk through the four steps of NVC—Observation, Feeling, Need, Request (OFNR)—with real examples, including Jessica getting pretend-mad at Josh about socks on the floor. You'll learn why "I feel abandoned" isn't actually a feeling, how to set your partner up for success (and vice versa!), and why asking for what you want can help heal attachment wounds.If you're tired of the same old fights and ready to communicate with more compassion—for your partner and yourself—this episode is for you.Key Takeaways0:00 Intro06:07 What is NVC?10:45 What are the NVC basics?18:28 Name the Need21:04 Requests Without Demands32:01 How do I actually use NVC with my partner?Resources and linksDecolonizing NVCBook: Decolonizing Non-Violent CommunicationPodcast episode with the author: https://www.skepticspath.org/podcast/decolonizing-nonviolent-communication-with-meenadchi/Feelings and Needs Lists: https://www.sociocracyforall.org/nvc-feelings-and-needs-list/Nicole's favorite video introduction of the basics: https://roxannemanning.com/an-introduction-to-nvc/On the 4 listening modes: https://seedofpeace.org/nvc-introductory-articles/four-ways-of-listening/Have a question or comment? Email us at podcast@relationshipcenter.com. We love hearing from you!If you'd like to work with one of the talented clinicians on our team, go to relationshipcenter.com/apply-now to apply for a free 30-minute consultation.To get a monthly email with our best content, go to relationshipcenter.com/newsletter.If something in this episode touched you, will you share it with a friend? That helps us reach more sweet humans like you.Lastly, we'd love it if you would leave us a rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts. And be sure to hit subscribe while you're there so you never miss an episode!

Ep. 223 | Four solid years since Russia's full-scale invasion of Ukraine, integral thinkers Kateryna Yasko and Vytautas Bučiūnas relate what life in Ukraine is like—emotionally, physically, spiritually. Far from what you might expect of a conversation about the state of Ukraine after four years of war—far from being battered and downtrodden—this is a story of resilience, resourcefulness, courage, and accelerated human development. Kateryna likens Ukraine to a living laboratory of transformation—with everyone united in the fight to preserve democracy and their identity as a nation, “the social fabric is strong, the resilience is astonishing…heroes receive a lot of gratitude from the people they serve.” On a personal level, Kateryna and Vytas share how they have grown in ways they wouldn't have expected: capacities have widened, appreciation of life has deepened, and experiences of profound joy arise in giving their all, together with their compatriots, for the future of the next generation.Leadership in Ukraine is in an evolutionary elevator, Vytautas, an integral leadership development consultant, tells us. Leaders no longer have the option to be reactive or habitual, and this has generated extraordinary creativity and courage in leadership in the military, business, politics, and social groups. Kateryna, a pedagogical psychologist, points out that human rights, democracy, and freedom are foundational for spiritual growth. People need to understand how to manifest their political self, she says, because if they don't, they will tend to escape into spirituality in a form of spiritual bypassing. “What can we do to help? co-host John Dupuy asks. “Come to Ukraine!” Kateryna and Vytas respond. Come experience and co-create the vertical development happening in this living laboratory of modern crisis. Recorded February 8, 2026.“The best way to practice spirituality is human rights assurance and activism; all the rest is secondary.”Topics & Time StampsIntroducing from Kyiv, Kateryna Yasko, pedagogical psychologist & Vytautas Bučiūnas, integral coach & leadership development consultant (01:01)What is the psychological and physical weather in Ukraine after 4 years of war? (03:36)Russia is using this very cold winter as a weapon, deliberately targeting infrastructure that supplies electricity & heat (04:08)The social fabric is strong, the resilience is astonishing (06:34)There's no choice—surrendering is not an option; the war would not end (12:10)Transformation has to include politics: assuring free speech and democracy comes before spiritual work (14:12)What forces are keeping Ukrainians together? (18:14)Humor is a big help (22:15)Leadership in Ukraine is in an evolutionary elevator (24:38) Courage, creative thinking, and gaming logic in the military (27:17)In Kyiv, with guns everywhere, the level of crime is very low (33:14)Putin is hostage to this war now; there are up to 50,000 Russian casualties per month (35:09)John shares his Ukraine! song and the accompanying YouTube video, created by Kateryna's daughter (36:44)Come to Ukraine! Experience the vertical development happening in this living laboratory of modern crisis (42:10)Measuring teenagers' developmental levels: Ukrainians are maturing faster, evolving faster (43:59)Donations are welcome (see recommended options under Resources below) (46:04)Passing the 1,418 days of war mark: this war has now run longer than Russia's “Great Patriotic War,” so glorified after WWII (47:28)Resources & ReferencesJames Hillman & Michael Ventura, We've Had a Hundred Years of Psychotherapy and the World's Getting WorseKeeping the Soul of Ukraine Alive: Maintaining Personal & National Ideals while Under Fire in Ukraine (Deep Transformation podcast)Валерій Пекар, Бесіди майстра Хай Тао про стратегію (Master Hai Tao's Conversations About Strategy by Ukrainian Integralist Valeriy Pekar – as of this writing, this book is not yet available in English, but here is a YouTube interview with the author: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btADES9iwfYUkraine! Song by John Dupuy (YouTube video)Daniel Kirkpatrick, At The Edge of Democracy: A Pacifist's Visit to UkraineRobert Kegan's Stage Theory of Adult DevelopmentSusanne Cook-Greuter, Stages of Human Development (Elevating Consciousness podcast YouTube video)Recommended Donation Sites – Support Ukraine!United24, the official fundraising platform of Ukraine initiated by President Zelenskyy, founded to protect, save, and rebuild UkraineCome Back Alive, the Foundation for Competent Assistance to the ArmyYou are also welcome to donate to a cause of your choice (i.e., evacuating soldiers from the front lines, buying rifles, saving Ukrainian culture, and more, through Kateryna's PayPal email below, full transparency guaranteed.Support via PayPal---Kateryna Yasko (Ukraine) is a psychologist and business trainer specializing in the development of emotional intelligence, trust, cooperation, effective communication, and peaceful conflict resolution. She is the co-founder of the civic and cultural initiatives Embassy of Ukrainian Sense-making and Prōstory. Her academic background includes degrees in international relations and law (MSc), business administration (MBA), and psychology (MSc). Kateryna's programs are grounded in Integral Theory developed by Ken Wilber, Nonviolent Communication created by Marshall Rosenberg, Speech Act Theory, and the commitment-based organizational culture approach of Fernando Flores. She holds certifications from the Center for Nonviolent Communication, Spiral Dynamics Integral, Harthill Consulting (Leadership...

Valentine's Day can stir up all kinds of longing, worry, and relational anxiety — especially if you love deeply and notice closeness and distance acutely. In this episode of Love Each Other Better, I dive into Marshall Rosenberg's famous metaphor: "I want to be flowers on your table, not oxygen for your lungs." I break down what this means through the compassionate lenses of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and attachment theory, including: The difference between universal human needs (like connection) and the particular ways we meet them in a relationship How anxious attachment patterns show up, and how I suggest caring for your inner child without making your partner responsible for your emotional survival What "flower-love" looks like in practice: freely chosen, generous, and joyful You'll come away with practical insights for nurturing secure, adult love — honoring both your need for connection and your partner's autonomy. ✨ Learn how to love each other better, without shame, pressure, obligation, or resentment. Connect with your host, Ali Miller: Training + Coaching Explore current ways to work with me: https://www.AliMillerCoaching.com Free Resources Feelings & Needs Cheatsheets: https://www.alimillercoaching.com/feelingsandneeds Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In https://www.alimillercoaching.com/freeminicourse Connect with Ali Instagram: @alimillercoaching Free Private Facebook Group: NVC for Couples https://www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples Email: ali@alimillercoaching.com Website: https://www.alimillercoaching.com

Cristina Cranga: Coaching Product Owners From Output Obsession to Value Conversations Read the full Show Notes and search through the world's largest audio library on Agile and Scrum directly on the Scrum Master Toolbox Podcast website: http://bit.ly/SMTP_ShowNotes.   In this episode, we refer to the work of Esko Kilpi on conversations and episodes on Nonviolent Communication (NVC) on the podcast. The Great Product Owner: A People Person Who Clarifies Before Deciding   "He was comfortable saying 'I don't know yet. What do you think?' It was a bi-directional conversation, not just one-way." - Cristina Cranga   The best Product Owner Cristina worked with was fundamentally a people person and a leader—human skills, not just hard skills. What made him exceptional was his approach to conversation: he started by clarifying the problem first, then decided. By doing this, he separated requests from decisions and made trade-offs explicit.  He was comfortable admitting uncertainty, asking "What do you think?" and engaging the team in co-creation rather than issuing directives. Cristina emphasizes that between the PO and Scrum Master, there's a special bond—a strong leadership partnership that teams look to as a reference. She highlights the concept of "ask more, say less": when you ask questions, you collect information that leads to better, more validated decisions.  The communication process, as outlined in Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg, has four components: observation, feelings, needs, and requests. Great POs embody this by treating uncertainty as part of their job, engaging teams more deeply, and connecting work to value rather than just output.   Self-reflection Question: How often does your Product Owner ask "What do you think?" and what would change if they separated requests from decisions more explicitly? The Bad Product Owner: Output Obsession and the Velocity Trap "Success is measured by how much is delivered, not what changes. Teams get faster, but not smarter." - Cristina Cranga   The worst Product Owner anti-pattern Cristina has witnessed is output obsession—measuring success by how much is delivered rather than what actually changes for users or the business. When velocity replaces outcomes as the primary metric, teams get faster but not smarter. Faster doesn't equal smarter. This anti-pattern is particularly dangerous in an AI-accelerated environment where delivery speed is no longer a constraint. The challenge for practitioners is shifting this mindset. The strongest POs make different choices: they own their decisions at the team level, make decisions explicit, treat uncertainty as part of the job, and connect work to value. When POs break free from output obsession, the results are powerful: faster alignment, no decision hallucinations, more engaged teams willing to experiment, and genuine connection between work and value.   In this segment, we refer to Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg.   Self-reflection Question: If you removed velocity from your team's dashboard tomorrow, what conversations would emerge about actual value delivered?   [The Scrum Master Toolbox Podcast Recommends]

Ali Merchant reveals the small shifts you can implement today to become a better leader immediately. — YOU'LL LEARN — 1) How to make difficult conversations easier 2) The three things exceptional managers do3) How to upgrade your one-on-ones with one questionSubscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep1121 for clickable versions of the links below. — ABOUT ALI — Ali Merchant has spent two decades scaling Learning & Development departments for public companies, tech brands, and the world's largest ad agencies. Today, he's the founder of All-In Manager, a leadership development firm that trains and coaches managers to become leaders. Since 2018, Ali has trained thousands of managers and coached hundreds of senior leaders worldwide. He's also the author of The All-In Manager: Become a better leader today, not someday. Ali lives in Chicago with his wife, Sarah, and their dog, Lenny. • Book: The All-In Manager: Become a better leader today. Not Someday• LinkedIn: Ali Merchant• Website: AllInManager.com— RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW — • Study: “The rocky road from actions to intentions” by Elizabeth Newton• Tool: Descript• Tool: Google NotebookLM• Book: Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides) by Marshall Rosenberg and Deepak Chopra• Book: Pre-Suasion: A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade by Robert Cialdini• Book: How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen by David Brooks• Book: Firefighter Zen: A Field Guide to Thriving in Tough Times by Hersch Wilson— THANK YOU SPONSORS! — • Monarch.com. Get 50% off your first year on with the code AWESOME.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

So much of our world today can be summed up in the cold logic of “if I don't, they will.” This is the foundation of game theory, which holds that cooperation and virtue are irrational; that all that matters is the race to make the most money, gain the most power, and play the winning hand. This way of thinking can feel inescapable, like a fundamental law of human nature. But our guest today, professor Sonja Amadae, argues that it doesn't have to be this way. That the logic of game theory is a human invention, a way of thinking that we've learned — and that we can unlearn.In this episode, Tristan and Aza explore the game theory dilemma — the idea that if I adopt game theory logic and you don't, you lose — with Dr. Sonja Amadae, a professor of Political Science at the University of Helsinki. She's also the director at the Center for the Study of Existential Risk at the University of Cambridge and the author of “Prisoners of Reason: Game Theory and the Neoliberal Economy.”The history of game theory as an inhumane technology stretches back to its WWII origins. But humans also cooperate, and we can break out of the rationality trap by daring to trust each other again. It's critical that we do, because AI is the ultimate agent of game theory and once it's fully entangled we might be permanently stuck in the game theory world.RECOMMENDED MEDIA“Prisoners of Reason: Game Theory and the Neoliberal Economy” by Sonja Amadae (2015)The Cambridge Centre for the Study of Existential Risk“Theory of Games and Economic Behavior” by John von Neumann and Oskar Morgenstern (1944)Further reading on the importance of trust in FinlandFurther reading on Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of NeedsRAND's 2024 Report on Strategic Competition in the Age of AIFurther reading on Marshall Rosenberg and nonviolent communicationThe study on self/other overlap and AI alignment cited by AzaFurther reading on The Day After (1983) RECOMMENDED YUA EPISODESAmerica and China Are Racing to Different AI FuturesThe Crisis That United Humanity—and Why It Matters for AILaughing at Power: A Troublemaker's Guide to Changing TechThe Race to Cooperation with David Sloan Wilson Clarifications:The proposal for a federal preemption on AI was enacted by President Trump on December 11, 2025, shortly after this recording. Aza said that "The Day After" was the most watched TV event in history when it aired. It was actually the most watched TV film, the most watched TV event was the finale of MASH Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Benedikt turns a year older. Benedicte moves forward despite the curveballs.Benedikt took a week off work to celebrate his 40th birthday. He spent his birthday week with a few parties with family and friends, and seeing two concerts. On the work front, he and the team built a Snowflake integration. And with the ETL infrastructure now in place, this potentially opens doors for other integrations.Despite another major extended family upheaval, Benedicte carries on by going on morning walks and focusing on her projects. She recently shipped the new Framer plugin version, made demos, and is planning to get the documentation for the plugin.Benedikt and Benedicte talk about books, how fast the internet is breaking nowadays, and more.Mentioned on the show:Surrounded by Idiots – a book by Thomas EriksonAntifragile – a book by Nassim Nicholas TalebNonviolent Communication – a book by B. Marshall Rosenberg

Jon Rosemberg discusses how to break free from limiting beliefs and reclaim control over your life. — YOU'LL LEARN — 1) The difference between succeeding and thriving2) How to shift out of survival mode with A.I.R.3) How to spot and challenge limiting beliefsSubscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep1114 for clickable versions of the links below. — ABOUT JON — With over two decades coaching Fortune 500 executives and global teams through deep transformations, Jon Rosemberg has learned firsthand that growth begins when we courageously reclaim our agency. His personal journey, forged by immigration, loss, and career reinvention, inspires him to blend hard-won business insight with cutting-edge research to guide others toward greater meaning. Driven by his belief in human potential, Jon co-founded Anther, a firm dedicated to transforming uncertainty into possibility. He previously led high-impact initiatives at Walmart, Procter & Gamble, Indigo, and GoBolt.Jon holds an MBA from Cornell University and a Master of Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania, where he serves as an assistant instructor. Originally from Caracas, Venezuela, he now lives in Toronto with his wife, Adriana, and their two sons.• Book: RA Guide to Thriving: The Science Behind Breaking Old Patterns, Reclaiming Your Agency, and Finding Meaning• LinkedIn: Jon Rosemberg• Website: JonRosemberg.com— RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW — • Study: "Workplace Wellbeing and Firm Performance" by Jan-Emmanuel De Neve, Micah Kaats, and George Ward• Study: “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General's Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community” • Book: Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl• Book: Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides) by Marshall Rosenberg and Deepak Chopra• Book: Building a Life Worth Living: A Memoir by Marsha Linehan• Video: “You're More Stressed Than Ever - Let's Change That” by Kurzgesagt – In A Nutshell• Past episode: 500: Building Unshakeable Self-Esteem and Confidence with Victor Cheng— THANK YOU SPONSORS! — • Vanguard. Give your clients consistent results year in and year out with vanguard.com/AUDIO• Quince. Get free shipping and 365-day returns on your order with Quince.com/Awesome• Taelor. Visit Visit taelor.style and get 10% off gift cards with the code PODCASTGIFT• Cashflow Podcasting. Explore launching (or outsourcing) your podcast with a free 10-minute call with Pete.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sara Di Gregorio: Rebuilding Agile Team Connection in the Remote Work Era Read the full Show Notes and search through the world's largest audio library on Agile and Scrum directly on the Scrum Master Toolbox Podcast website: http://bit.ly/SMTP_ShowNotes.   "The book helped me to shift from reacting to connecting, which completely changed the quality of conversation." - Sara Di Gregorio   When COVID forced Sara's team into full remote work, she noticed something troubling—the team was losing real connection. Replicating in-office meetings online simply didn't work. People attended meetings but weren't truly present. The spontaneous coffee machine conversations that built relationships and surfaced important information had vanished.  So Sara started experimenting. She introduced 5-minute chit-chat sessions at the start of every meeting: "Guys, how are you today? What happened yesterday?" She created "coffee all together" moments—10-minute virtual breaks where the team could drink coffee or have aperitivos together, sometimes three times per week. She established weekly feedback sessions every Friday morning—30 minutes to recap the week and understand what could improve.  These weren't just social niceties; they were deliberate efforts to recreate the human connections that remote work had stripped away. Sara recognized that mechanized interactions—"here are the things I need you to do, let's talk next steps"—kill team dynamics. Teams need moments where they relate to each other as people, not just as functions.  The experiments worked because they created space for genuine connection, allowing the team to maintain the trust and collaboration that makes effective teamwork possible, even when working remotely.   In this episode, we refer to Non-Violent Communication concepts and practices.   Self-reflection Question: How are you creating moments for your remote or hybrid team to connect as people, not just as colleagues executing tasks? Featured Book of the Week: Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg Sara credits Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg (translated in Italian as "Words are Windows, or They are Walls") as having a deep impact on her career. The book explores how to listen without judging, how to ask the right questions, and how to observe people to understand their real needs. But above all, it teaches how to communicate in a way that builds connection rather than creating barriers.  For Sara, the book was remarkably practical—she didn't just read it, she experimented with the techniques afterward. She explains: "I think that without this mindset, it's easy to fall into reactive communication, trying to defend, justify, or give quick answers. But that often blocks real understanding." The book helped her shift from reacting to connecting, which completely changed the quality of her conversations.  As a Scrum Master working with people every day—facilitating meetings, mediating conflicts, supporting teams—the way we communicate determines whether we open dialogue or close it. Sara found that taking time to reflect instead of giving quick answers transformed her ability to help teams discover dependencies, improve dialogue, and address communication issues. For anyone in the Scrum Master role, this book provides essential skills for building the kind of connection that makes true collaboration possible. In this segment, we also refer to the NVC episodes we have on the podcast. Check those out to learn more about Nonviolent Communication   [The Scrum Master Toolbox Podcast Recommends]

#130:  Il était une fois un peuple qui gérait les déviances sociales avec beaucoup de bienveillance. Si ton voisin avait volé ton bœuf ou ta femme, il était mis au centre du village, et recevait... de multiples compliments sur ses actes généreux du passé, sur toutes les fois où il avait servi la communauté au lieu de la spolier. Ce bain de bonté réveillait la nature bienveillante du coupable qui se repentait et s'engageait de nouveau à servir la communauté. Cet us-et-coutume s'apparente à un paradigme inventé par Marshall Rosenberg dans les années quatre-vingts, et que j'introduis à ta réflexion par le biais de cet épisode. Je te souhaite une belle écoute.http://savouretesvies.com/feedbackhttp://savouretesvies.com/replayfocushttp://savouretesvies.com/ressourceshttp://savouretesvies.com/programmecomplethttp://savouretesvies.com/aviscoaching@savouretesvies.comBibliographie sur la communication non violente: https://cnvformations.fr/bibliographie/Pour soutenir Déclic Education: https://www.helloasso.com/beta/associations/declic-cnv-et-education/formulaires/1

Episode Summary: Michelle Bennett1. Best Coaching Advice Received“Make the implicit explicit.” Pause the moment and name what's not being said.“When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” Use client frustration to invite reflection and reframe.Moments of tension are often invitations for deeper understanding, not obstacles.Great coaching is about holding space and gently guiding insight—not forcing it.Key insight: Learn to stop, notice, and ask “what's really going on here?” 2. Still Improving in CoachingMain focus: Working on herself to grow as a coach.Strives for congruence between values, beliefs, and behavior.Wants to respond vs. react—particularly when under stress or lacking sleep.Practices pausing and reflection, using “Stop, Breathe, Think, Act” (from SCUBA training).Committed to maintaining presence and awareness, even during challenging moments. 3. Most Outrageous Coaching MoveDoesn't see herself as “outrageous,” but has grown more flexible with time.Used to strictly follow coaching rules—now plays creatively within the guardrails.Embraces applied improvisation (Yes, and…) in team workshops.Developed an improv-based exercise progressing from “No, but” → “Yes, but” → “Yes, and.”Integrates play and embodiment to help teams move from resistance to collaboration. 4. What Still Makes Her UncomfortableSilence. Used to feel awkward and overthink during pauses.Now more comfortable—relies on observation (e.g., body language) to determine when to re-engage.Learned silence can be powerful and productive, especially when used intentionally.Coaches herself to avoid jumping in too quickly.Uses curiosity and visual cues to guide next steps. 5. Advice for New CoachesStudy nonviolent communication (Marshall Rosenberg).Focus on unmet needs as the root of emotional responses.Ask: “What need, if fulfilled, would change how you feel right now?”Helps clients slow down, reflect, and better understand their own emotions.Recognizes empathy as a foundational tool—both for self-awareness and coaching impact. 6. Challenge Conquered on the Path to CoachingHad to dial down her task-focused, checklist-driven scientist brain.Used to skip over small talk—now intentionally builds relationships.Has trained herself to add warmth and connection to communication.Sees this shift as authentic personal growth, not just behavioral adjustment.Believes her relationship side is now integrated—not just “an add-on.” 7. Using AI in CoachingExploring how AI can assist in workshop design and experiential learning.Uses prompts to help create exercises that illustrate coaching principles (e.g., ladder of inference).Finds AI helpful but still in early experimentation phase.Appreciates others' creativity with AI and is learning through observation.Believes AI will help her expand her impact beyond her current reach. 8. What She's Learned About Herself Through CoachingShe's been living to meet others' expectations—and is now learning who she truly is.Coaching has helped her drop the masks and embrace her authentic self.Less afraid to experiment, take risks, and “just try stuff.”Feels like she's in a stage where everything is starting to click.Embracing “not knowing” and trusting her voice—hallmarks of personal transformation.

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2787: Stella Grizont explores how to build emotional resilience by not taking things personally, offering practical tools to shift from reaction to curiosity and compassion. She then shares a heartfelt reflection on unconditional love through a simple yet powerful moment with her daughter, reminding us of the profound healing in being seen and accepted as we are. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.stellagrizont.com/blogs/the-abcs-of-not-taking-things-personally AND https://www.stellagrizont.com/blogs/what-my-daughter-taught-me-about-love Quotes to ponder: "Most of us walk around with a fragile sense of self-worth." "People's behavior is a reflection of their reality, not yours." "Even if someone intends to hurt you, it's still about them and their own pain." Episode references: Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg: https://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships/dp/189200528X The Four Agreements: https://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2787: Stella Grizont explores how to build emotional resilience by not taking things personally, offering practical tools to shift from reaction to curiosity and compassion. She then shares a heartfelt reflection on unconditional love through a simple yet powerful moment with her daughter, reminding us of the profound healing in being seen and accepted as we are. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.stellagrizont.com/blogs/the-abcs-of-not-taking-things-personally AND https://www.stellagrizont.com/blogs/what-my-daughter-taught-me-about-love Quotes to ponder: "Most of us walk around with a fragile sense of self-worth." "People's behavior is a reflection of their reality, not yours." "Even if someone intends to hurt you, it's still about them and their own pain." Episode references: Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg: https://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships/dp/189200528X The Four Agreements: https://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at:⁠ OLDPodcast.com⁠. Episode 2786: Vironika Tugaleva shares a transformative perspective on romantic relationships by revealing how our emotional baggage often drives conflict, not our partners' actions. Through deep self-awareness and compassion, she invites us to stop blaming and start healing, offering insight that empowers genuine intimacy. Read along with the original article(s) here:⁠ https://www.vironika.org/important-relationship-advice/⁠ Quotes to ponder: "Most of our relationship problems are not about the relationship at all. They're about our own unresolved issues." "When we are in pain, we lash out. We blame, we attack, we defend." "Blame is a lazy substitute for introspection." Episode references: Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg:⁠ https://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/⁠ The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz:⁠ https://www.amazon.com/Mastery-Love-Practical-Relationship-Toltec/dp/1878424424⁠ The Untethered Soul:⁠ https://www.amazon.com/Untethered-Soul-Journey-Beyond-Yourself/dp/1572245379⁠

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2786: Vironika Tugaleva shares a transformative perspective on romantic relationships by revealing how our emotional baggage often drives conflict, not our partners' actions. Through deep self-awareness and compassion, she invites us to stop blaming and start healing, offering insight that empowers genuine intimacy. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.vironika.org/important-relationship-advice/ Quotes to ponder: "Most of our relationship problems are not about the relationship at all. They're about our own unresolved issues." "When we are in pain, we lash out. We blame, we attack, we defend." "Blame is a lazy substitute for introspection." Episode references: Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg: https://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/ The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz: https://www.amazon.com/Mastery-Love-Practical-Relationship-Toltec/dp/1878424424 The Untethered Soul: https://www.amazon.com/Untethered-Soul-Journey-Beyond-Yourself/dp/1572245379

Renee Troughton: The Hidden Cost of Constant Restructuring in Agile Organizations Read the full Show Notes and search through the world's largest audio library on Agile and Scrum directly on the Scrum Master Toolbox Podcast website: http://bit.ly/SMTP_ShowNotes. "Trust and safety are the most fundamental foundations of a team to perform. And so you are just breaking the core of teams when you're doing this." Renee challenges us to look beyond team dysfunction and examine the "dirty little secrets" in organizations—leadership-driven anti-patterns that destroy team performance. She reveals a cyclical pattern of constant restructuring that occurs every six months in many organizations, driven by leaders who avoid difficult performance management conversations and instead force people through redundancy rounds. This creates a cascade of fear, panic, and victim mindset throughout the organization. Beyond restructuring, Renee identifies other destructive patterns including the C-suite shuffle (where new CEOs bring in their own teams, cascading change throughout the organization) and the insourcing/outsourcing swings that create chaos over 5-8 year cycles. These high-level decisions drain productivity for months as teams storm and reform, losing critical knowledge and breaking the trust and safety that are fundamental for high performance. Renee emphasizes that as Agile coaches and Scrum Masters, we often don't feel empowered to challenge these decisions, yet they represent the biggest drain on organizational productivity. Self-reflection Question: Have you identified the cyclical organizational anti-patterns in your workplace, and do you have the courage to raise these systemic issues with senior leadership? Featured Book of the Week: Loving What Is by Byron Katie "It teaches you around how to reframe your thoughts in the day-to-day life, to assess them in a different light than you would normally perceive them to be." Renee recommends "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie as an essential tool for Scrum Master introspection. This book teaches practical techniques for reframing thoughts and recognizing that problems we perceive "out there" are often internal framing issues. Katie's method, called "The Work," provides a worksheet-based approach to introspection that helps identify when our perceptions create unnecessary suffering. Renee also highlights Marshall Rosenberg's "Nonviolent Communication" as a companion book, which uses language to tap into underlying emotions and needs. Both books offer practical, actionable techniques for self-knowledge—a critical skill for anyone in the Scrum Master role. The journey these books provide leads to inner peace through understanding that many challenges stem from how we internally frame situations rather than external reality. We have many episodes on NVC, Nonviolent Communication, which you can dive into and learn from experienced practitioners.  [The Scrum Master Toolbox Podcast Recommends]

Hello, wonderful readers. I am taking a break from Misseducated in the coming weeks as I focus on The Intimacy Journal, which will be launching on Kickstarter very soon. I can't wait for you to get your hands on a copy!

What if generosity isn't something we have to teach or force — but something we're born with? In this special episode honoring the birthday of Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), I share a personal story about my 5-year-old daughter — and how her spontaneous, joyful act of giving reminded me of one of Marshall's most powerful teachings: “What I want in my life is compassion — a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart.” We'll explore: Why generous giving flows naturally when we feel connected and free How this principle applies not just to parenting, but to romantic relationships What gets in the way of that generosity in couples — and how NVC can help restore it A simple question to reflect on in your own relationship today Plus, I'll share how you and your partner can go deeper with NVC through my 9-Week Private Coaching Program for Couples: Stop Fighting (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs) If you're longing for more joy and spontaneous generosity in your relationship — this one's for you. Want to learn NVC with Ali? Explore my 9-week private coaching program for couples: Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs). Includes my signature training: Hearing Each Other's Hearts: NVC Essentials for Couples Learn more: www.alimillercoaching.com/stopfighting Free Resources Feelings & Needs Cheatsheets: www.alimillercoaching.com/feelingsandneeds Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In www.alimillercoaching.com/freeminicourse Connect with Ali Instagram: @alimillercoaching Free Private Facebook Group: NVC for Couples www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples Email: ali@alimillercoaching.com Website: www.alimillercoaching.com Important note: The tools I share in this episode and all of the episodes on this podcast are suited for people who are in a safe relationship. If you do not feel safe in your relationship, please prioritize your safety. For support with priortizing your safety, in the U.S. you can chat with someone live at The National Domestic Violence Hotline at www.thehotline.org, or call them at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788. 

Alexander Dunlop is author of Play Your Cards Right: A Sacred Guide To Life On Earth. Join us as we discuss what the Source Cards say about Charlie Kirk.(03:00) Kirk's Public Platform & Bobby Kennedy ConnectionAlexander shares how Kirk welcomed Bobby Kennedy into dialogue and his impressions of Kirk's debates and openness.(05:25) Personal Awakening & The CallingAlexander parallels Kirk's teenage mission with his own spiritual awakening at 17, describing his role as “a priest in the world with no religion.”(06:40) Christian Conservatism & Cultural DivisionA deep dive into Kirk's respectful debating style, but also Alexander's critique of Christian conservatism as a root of cultural conflict.(08:16) Violence in the Name of BeliefDiscussion of the historical roots of violence tied to biblical monotheism and the dangers of us-versus-them ideology.(11:20) Empathy, Sympathy & Evolving ThoughtExploring Kirk's views on empathy versus sympathy, his young age, and potential for evolving beliefs.(17:28) Purity, Sin & Cultural ConditioningTracing the Christian mythos of purity, Virgin archetypes, and the ingrained assumption of imposing morality “for your own good.”(23:13) Beyond Biblical MonotheismAlexander argues for uprooting monotheistic frameworks to return to astrology, numerology, and source cards as systems of personal truth.(26:39) Charlie Kirk's Birth & Personality CardsReading Kirk's Eight of Clubs birth card and Four of Spades personality card, revealing his mental power, stubbornness, and vision.(31:41) Dialogue & Nonviolent CommunicationScott and Alexander emphasize listening, needs-based dialogue, and Marshall Rosenberg's framework as antidotes to polarization.(35:01) Submitting to “One Truth”Unpacking how biblical monotheism entrenches binaries of true/false, creating cycles of domination, repression, and backlash.(43:41) Healing Collective TraumaConnecting monotheism to the psychological split of conscious/unconscious; Alexander frames the work ahead as collective healing.(46:44) God, Substance & the SplitContrasting pantheistic unity with biblical monotheism's sinner/saint dichotomy and its impact on cultural divisions.(49:17) Pluto in Aquarius & Future ReckoningsSpeculation on whether Kirk's death may fuel right-wing violence and how astrology frames cultural turning points.(52:27) Synchronicity of Numbers & Memorial TimingAnalyzing Kirk's assassination on September 10 and his memorial on September 21, highlighting 33 numerology and the Jack of Diamonds.(57:44) Meaning of Threes in MemorialAlexander interprets 33 as creative energy pointing a new way forward, urging dialogue over conservatism as the solution.(1:02:03) Confusion, Propaganda & ControlExploring CIA-style disinformation tactics, societal distrust of media, and the deliberate obfuscation of truth.(1:06:01) As Above, So BelowScott and Alexander reflect on whether events are staged or simply esoteric mirrors of astrological energy.(1:11:10) The Search for PatternsHow the human need for order can lead to paranoia or faith, depending on awareness of intelligent design and cosmic codes.(1:17:22) Turning Point & LegacyKirk's founding of Turning Point, his Eight of Clubs idealism, and how his life and death represent a compass for future directions.Alexander Dunlop: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.thesourcecards.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.theweeklytransit.com/⁠⁠⁠

Companion Guide Alert!Enhance your listening experience with our brand-new Assumptions That Destroy Communication Workbook, designed to accompany this episode! This guide will help you transform your communication skills. Grab it now for just $4 at: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/assumptions-that-destroy-communication-workbookEpisode Overview In this episode, Part 3 of our communication series, Robert and Sharla dive into the hidden power of judgments in our everyday language and how they sabotage the intimacy we crave in relationships. Building on Part 1 (the cost of not speaking up) and Part 2 (three communication goals: mutual understanding, connection, and empathy), we explore why we're conditioned to judge—especially in Western culture—and how this “conflict-escalating” language disconnects us from our partners' needs. Featuring a powerful story from NVC founder Marshall Rosenberg and practical tips from Nonviolent Communication (NVC), this episode offers a roadmap to shift from judgments to observations. Plus, we introduce our new workbook to guide you step-by-step!Key Takeaways - A judgment is any thought or statement that labels or diagnoses someone (e.g., “You're lazy”), implying fault and escalating conflict by cutting off empathy and understanding. - We're indoctrinated into judgmental language from childhood through family (“You're naughty”), media (heroes vs. villains), school (grades), and Western culture's emphasis on blame over needs. - The Rosenberg story from Malaysia highlights how language shapes thought—without a “to be” verb for judging, a culture avoids pathologizing others. - Shift to observations (e.g., “I noticed the dishes were left undone”) to open doors to connection instead of closing them with judgments. - Practice daily with our workbook's exercises to rewire your communication habits! Action Steps 1. Download the Workbook: Get your Assumptions That Destroy Communication Workbook at: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/assumptions-that-destroy-communication-workbook2. Take the Challenge: This week, make one observation instead of a judgment (e.g., “I noticed your clothes on the floor”) and email us at masteryourmarriage@gmail.com with your experience! 3. Leave a Review: Head to Apple Podcasts, rate us five stars, and write a quick review to join our weekly giveaway—your feedback helps us grow! 4. Tune In Next Week: Part 4 will focus on expressing needs and desires—don't miss it! Connect with Us:Email: masteryourmarriage@gmail.com – Reach out for coaching, share wins, or pitch episode ideas.Instagram: @masteryourmarriage – Daily tips, behind-the-scenes reels, and a healthy dose of Snow-family humor.Reviews Matter! If this episode sparked an aha moment, drop a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify and send it to a friend who could use a vision upgrade.

Marshall Rosenberg is an American psychologist, mediator, author and teacher who has pioneered work in non-violent communication. His book I've been reading is Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Life. In this episode I go over what he calls life alienating communication. It's great

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 1766: Christopher Wallace explores how challenging colleagues can serve as unexpected mirrors for our own growth, encouraging us to approach irritation with curiosity instead of judgment. By tuning into our emotional triggers and reconnecting with our values, we can turn everyday frustrations into moments of self-mastery. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://digtofly.com/the-zen-of-working-with-annoying-people/ Quotes to ponder: "Every annoying person we encounter is actually a gift, a reflection of something inside of us that needs attention." "When we understand our values, we start to understand why certain people annoy us." "It's not about changing the other person; it's about changing how we respond." Episode references: The Work by Byron Katie: https://thework.com Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg: https://www.nonviolentcommunication.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 1766: Christopher Wallace explores how challenging colleagues can serve as unexpected mirrors for our own growth, encouraging us to approach irritation with curiosity instead of judgment. By tuning into our emotional triggers and reconnecting with our values, we can turn everyday frustrations into moments of self-mastery. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://digtofly.com/the-zen-of-working-with-annoying-people/ Quotes to ponder: "Every annoying person we encounter is actually a gift, a reflection of something inside of us that needs attention." "When we understand our values, we start to understand why certain people annoy us." "It's not about changing the other person; it's about changing how we respond." Episode references: The Work by Byron Katie: https://thework.com Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg: https://www.nonviolentcommunication.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Here's a quote from Dr. Marshall Rosenberg's book, Nonviolent Communication, A Language of Life, that sums up Connecting Compassionately With Ourselves: “When we are internally violent towards ourselves, it is difficult to be genuinely compassionate towards others.” To exercise self-compassion we can evaluate ourselves in ways that promote growth instead of self-hatred. When we have been less than perfect, we can focus on a desire to enrich life for ourselves and others rather than to shame or guilt-trip ourselves. We can avoid “shoulding” ourselves.We can recognize judgmental self-talk when it happens and then quickly focus our attention on underlying needs that may not have been met. Feelings and unmet needs may have stimulated past actions which we now regret.When we acknowledge that possibility, we can better exercise self-forgiveness. Going forward, we can then be conscious of what need is being served by the choices we make.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/

Send us a textIn this episode, we take a journey from the Prime Meridian to the emotional equator, where gratitude, fragility, and fierce compassion intersect. Drawing inspiration from Emile Durkheim, Jonathan Haidt, Marshall Rosenberg and Dr. Bernie Siegel, we explore how to stay grounded and emotionally regulated in high-stakes conversations without losing yourself, or the other person.We dive into the psychology behind emotional contagion and vicarious trauma, and how your presence, not your prescription, is often the most powerful gift you can offer. You'll learn why advice often fails, how to recognize when you're stealing someone's power instead of supporting them, and what "naming it to tame it" really looks like in a real conversation.We'll unpack the difference between sympathy and empathy, explore theory of mind, and show how non-violent communication and empathetic reflection can transform not only how we communicate, but how we believe in the people we're speaking to.Because in a world full of noise, the most radical thing you can do… is listen.Visit us at:www.theselfhelpantidote.com

What does it take to build a $100 billion cybersecurity company in today's cloud-first, AI-infused world? And how do you balance relentless technological change with the practical realities of compliance, risk, and leadership? In this episode of Tech Talks Daily, I sit down with Sumedh Thakar, CEO of Qualys, during his visit to the UK for the company's QSC conference. From starting out as one of Qualys' first engineers to leading the company through a new era of risk-centric cybersecurity, Sumedh brings a unique blend of technical insight and lived experience. We discuss why compliance remains such a challenge for enterprises, how the conversation is shifting from attack surfaces to risk surfaces, and why many businesses are overwhelmed by security signals but underwhelmed by strategic clarity. Sumedh shares his view on the growing importance of the Risk Operations Center (ROC) and how AI is complicating risk profiles in new and unpredictable ways. He also reflects on the future of cloud security and why the market remains wide open for innovation, even as it becomes more crowded. Beyond the tech, Sumedh opens up about his personal journey from Pune to Silicon Valley, how a threatened farm purchase changed his life, and why leadership is ultimately a game of time, trust, and communication. He leaves us with a powerful book recommendation, Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg, which he credits with transforming his leadership style and helping him build stronger relationships across the board. Are we thinking about risk in the right way or simply throwing money at the latest acronyms? And how do you build a meaningful legacy in cybersecurity without losing sight of the human side? Join the conversation and let me know what resonated with you most.

Dr. Marshall Rosenberg developed the concept of Nonviolent Communication – or NVC.  His book, Nonviolent Communication, A Language of Life, begins with this quote, capturing the fundamental premise of NVC: “What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart.” Specific forms of language are identified as alienating us from our natural state of compassion, including moralistic judgments, making comparisons, and denying responsibility. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/

Im harten Alltag der Führungskräfte zeigt sich die wahre Kunst: richtig reagieren, wenn Kolleg:innen emotional eskalieren. Tränen, Wut, Verwirrung – was tun, wenn der Mensch vor dir weint oder laut wird? Vanessa Laszlo, bekannt für ihre Expertise und Arbeit mit Psychopathen im Gefängnis, gibt klare Antworten. Sie betont die Macht der Emotionen: Ein benanntes Gefühl verkleinert sich, ein ignoriertes wächst. Kein Trösten bei selbst verursachtem Leid. Stattdessen: Offenheit und Geduld. Finde selbst heraus, wie du diese klugen Ansätze in deinem Führungskontext anwenden kannst. Du erfährst... …wie du emotionale Eskalationen souverän meisterst …warum das Ansprechen von Gefühlen Konflikte entschärft …wie du mit klarer Kommunikation Vertrauen schaffst …warum Distanzierung und Verlangsamung oft Wunder wirken …wie du durch Prophylaxe emotionale Ausbrüche vermeidest __________________________ ||||| PERSONEN |||||

BONUS: NVC, Walking Towards Conflict with Love With Maria Arpa and Bob Marshall In this BONUS episode, we explore Nonviolent Communication (NVC), a powerful tool that has changed how many people work and relate to family, friends, and colleagues. Maria Arpa, a previous guest on the podcast, and who studied directly under Marshall Rosenberg, the creator of NVC, shares her insights on this transformative practice. Joining us is Bob Marshall, an NVC advocate and practitioner who applies these principles in organizational settings. Understanding the Foundation of Nonviolent Communication "We have universal needs... what we try to distinguish is the need and the strategy I'm using to meet the need." Nonviolent Communication is both a practical communication tool and a spiritual practice designed to help us connect more authentically with ourselves and others. Maria explains how NVC emerged from the work of Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, who studied under Carl Rogers, the developer of person-centered therapy. At its core, NVC represents a paradigm shift away from what Maria calls "domination culture" – a system built on hierarchy, punishment, and obedience to rules. The dominant culture in which we live often relies on fear, guilt, and shame to motivate behavior. In contrast, NVC comes from the philosophy of nonviolence, encouraging people to be independent thinkers who make choices from their own internal compass. This approach recognizes that all people have the potential to manifest love, even in challenging situations. The Power of Needs-Based Theory "If I take a need for fairness or respect... how many ways are there to meet that need? And what if you believe you're meeting your need for fairness using whatever strategy you're using, and I believe that is impacting on my need for respect? We have a collision in strategies." A fundamental aspect of NVC is needs-based theory. Maria explains that while we all share universal needs – from basic physical requirements like air and food to psychological needs like creativity, recognition, and fairness – conflicts arise not from the needs themselves but from the strategies we use to meet those needs. This distinction between needs and strategies offers a powerful framework for resolving conflicts. When we understand that we're arguing over strategies, not the underlying needs, we can empathize with each other and explore different approaches that honor everyone's needs. As Maria advises, "Don't try to strategize until you understand all the needs on the table." Breaking Free from the Debate Model "The debate model of conversation is about one argument prevailing over all others... it's a terrible idea for when we want to meet as humans and have a conversation." Maria highlights how our society has embraced the debate model of conversation, where one perspective must win over others. This approach, while potentially useful in controlled settings like scientific research, creates significant problems in human interactions. When operating in debate mode, we're focused on overpowering others or protecting ourselves from humiliation rather than genuinely connecting. The dialogue roadmap that Maria developed offers an alternative to this debate model. It allows people to express themselves fully – to "empty out" everything they're carrying, even if it doesn't initially make coherent sense. This process helps people make sense of their experiences and move toward authentic dialogue rather than competitive debate. NVC in Organizations: Addressing Collective Needs "Needs are getting ignored in most organizations... it's not that we have shared needs and we debate about the strategies for getting those needs met." Bob Marshall, an organizational psychotherapist, explains how NVC principles can transform workplace dynamics. He observes that many organizations operate through "fear, obligation, guilt, and shame" – what he calls "the four horsemen of the work apocalypse." These mechanisms are used to control behavior but create toxic environments that diminish both productivity and well-being. By applying NVC in organizational settings, Bob helps collective entities recognize and address their needs. Many companies are unaware of their collective needs, and some cultures even shame people for acknowledging needs exist. Helping organizations understand their shared needs creates a foundation for healthier, more productive workplaces where people can thrive rather than merely survive. In this segment, we refer to an episode with Michelle Pauk, where we explore the lessons from Foucault's Book Discipline and Punish, and to Manfred Max-Neef, a Chilean economist. The Connection Before Correction Principle "One of the most wonderful things is connection before correction." Maria emphasizes the importance of building relationships before attempting to change behaviors or address problems. She suggests that our fast-paced world has created a situation where our emotional processing cannot keep up with the speed of our actions and decisions. We've become skilled at multitasking and meeting deadlines but haven't paid adequate attention to our emotional needs. The result is that many people are emotionally "backed up" or "constipated" – unable to process their feelings in healthy ways. Maria's work involves slowing things down to create space for authentic connection and emotional integration. This approach doesn't sacrifice efficiency – as she notes, "We get more done with less resource once we've been through the tunnel." Learning Directly from Marshall Rosenberg "Marshall Rosenberg said, 'The people that are going to take this forward will have the right balance of compassionate understanding and political savvy.' And I just went, 'That's me.'" Maria shares her personal journey with NVC, beginning with a chance encounter at her son's school that led her to attend a presentation by Marshall Rosenberg. She was immediately captivated by his approach, which answered questions she had been unable to resolve through other therapies and educational frameworks. Her pivotal experience came in 2005 when she joined Rosenberg and others for a 15-day intensive in Switzerland focused on social change. This immersive experience transformed her understanding of communication and human connection. When she asked Rosenberg who would carry his work forward, his answer about needing both "compassionate understanding and political savvy" resonated deeply with her, setting her on a path to develop her own applications of NVC principles. In this segment, we refer to the book The Surprising Purpose of Anger by Marshall Rosenberg. About Maria Arpa and Bob Marshall Maria Arpa is a facilitator, mediator, and trainer who describes her work as "walking towards conflict with love." She developed the Dialogue Road Map, a framework that builds on NVC principles to guide people out of debate-style conversations into authentic dialogue. Maria studied directly under Dr. Marshall Rosenberg and has applied NVC in various challenging contexts, including working with gang violence and facilitating dialogue between concentration camp survivors and a business that had purchased a former concentration camp site. You can link with Maria Arpa on LinkedIn and follow Maria's work on her website. Bob Marshall is an organizational psychotherapist who works with the collective psyche of organizations. He has been studying and practicing NVC for over 15 years, incorporating it into his work helping organizations understand and meet their collective needs. Bob believes in creating more joyful work environments and has dedicated his career to helping people have more pleasant experiences in the workplace. Bob Marshall is the author of several books on organizational psychotherapy. You can link with Bob Marshall on LinkedIn and follow Bob Marshall's blog.

Did you know that until you are truly compassionate to yourself, you can’t be compassionate to any other person?In Episode #192 of The Gathering Room, I’m talking about building compassionate communities—and how a safe, loving, mutually supportive community is probably the most important thing we can ever have, especially during chaotic times.I’ve been reading my way through all the skills that make you a good community creator, and one of my favorites is the book Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg, who talks about creating community by first becoming your own good company. We have such an individualistic, fragmenting society where we’re always pitted against each other in competition, but we long to experience moments of beautiful company where everyone feels lifted by everyone else. This kind of community is a basic human need.Marshall Rosenberg says that everything we do is trying to meet our basic needs, and we go off course by trying to meet our needs with things that don’t work. He describes bringing ourselves into that sense of loving community by following a few basic steps: * Identify any “mistakes” or behaviors you’re upset with yourself about.* Notice any shaming language you use around those behaviors (words like “should”). * Understand the need you were trying to meet with those behaviors.* Allow yourself to mourn the fact that what you tried didn’t work.Then, if you can empathize with the part of yourself that was trying to get a need met in an ill-advised way, there’s a kind of embrace that happens automatically—and in that embrace is forgiveness. That’s when, within yourself, you have all of your parts, including what I call the “compassionate witness.” There are all the parts who’ve been trying so hard, and everyone is empathizing with everyone else. There is mutual forgiveness for everything you ever thought you did wrong, and no one is being blamed. That’s the way into being your own best company. And from there on, Marshall Rosenberg tells us, everything is play.To find out more about forgiving yourself, becoming your own best company, and creating supportive, compassionate communities, tune in for the full episode. I’ll also guide you through my Space, Silence, and Stillness meditation with a special focus on bringing your inner collective into loving harmony. Join me! CONNECT WITH US Follow Martha on Instagram The Gathering Room Show Notes Join Martha for a Live Episode of The Gathering Room via Facebook See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today's episode, I'll show you how to overcome any anger, judgment, or criticism towards others so you can heal yourself and create the life you want. We'll explore how unconscious patterns shape our reactions and how unmet needs, as suggested by Marshall Rosenberg, manifest as negative emotions. Plus, we'll look at how childhood experiences influence our adult behaviors and learn ways to transform negative emotions and build empathy. It's all about healing and growing into your best self. Don't miss it! Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you're committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here