What's Underneath with StyleLikeU

Watch Syd and August's Full Video Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j43r8PbDmqA&t=42s&ab_channel=StyleLikeUAbout StyleLikeUIf you agree that facades separate us and being radically honest brings us together, please take a moment to subscribe to our channel and share this video with any friends or family who could benefit from feeling less alone in their journeys with mental health. Don't forget to click the bell so you're aware of every time we upload a new episode.New Episodes drop Thursdays! Follow Augusthttps://www.instagram.com/augustsinsta/Follow Sydhttps://www.instagram.com/3xeyes/FOLLOW STYLELIKEU:Join the movement on Patreon: https://bit.ly/3sa8MxwInstagram: https://bit.ly/3q32JsZFacebook: https://bit.ly/3bl0LA7Newsletter: https://bit.ly/35nTMCC Spring Health is breaking barriers to mental health by working with employers to give employees fast and easy access to the right care, at the right time. In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, together with Spring Health, we are creating opportunities for YOU to share your mental health journeys online and ‘in person' at our virtual ‘What's Underneath: Collective Therapy' summit in June. Follow @stylelikeu and @springhealth on Instagram for more details and announcements on how you can participate and share in the healing power of vulnerability, truth-sharing, and the unshakable bravery to be yourself.

Watch Suni's Full Episode Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUmg_OB20Og&ab_channel=StyleLikeU

Watch Claire's Full Video Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TYFSm9h6xc&ab_channel=StyleLikeU

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**About our Mental Health Awareness Campaign with Spring Health: **Spring Health is breaking barriers to mental health by working with employers to give employees fast and easy access to the right care, at the right time. In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, together with Spring Health, we are creating opportunities for YOU to share your mental health journeys online and ‘in person’ at our virtual ‘What’s Underneath: Collective Therapy’ summit in June.Follow @stylelikeu and @springhealth on Instagram for more details and announcements on how you can participate and share in the healing power of vulnerability, truth-sharing, and the unshakable bravery to be yourself.** About our co-sponsor, True & Co: **True & Co. was started with a belief that bras could be better. With input from 9 million real women, they developed a line of undergarments in fabrics and constructions that support exactly the way you want to be supported. We love True & Co because real people and their stories are at the heart of their brand. They celebrate women’s bodies, regardless of shape and size, and encourage consumers to share their truths, insecurities, etc through their social media campaign, #TogetherWeAreTrue. Whether it is body acceptance, postpartum struggles, issues with skin, aging, and weight, all people are encouraged to share their personal journeys and are valued in the True & Co community. FOLLOW STYLELIKEU:Join the movement on Patreon: https://bit.ly/3sa8MxwInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/stylelikeu/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stylelikeu

Watch Aki's Full Video Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwYBQFTe9yM**About our Mental Health Awareness Campaign with Spring Health: **Spring Health is breaking barriers to mental health by working with employers to give employees fast and easy access to the right care, at the right time. In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, together with Spring Health, we are creating opportunities for YOU to share your mental health journeys online and ‘in person’ at our virtual ‘What’s Underneath: Collective Therapy’ summit in June.Follow @stylelikeu and @springhealth on Instagram for more details and announcements on how you can participate and share in the healing power of vulnerability, truth-sharing, and the unshakable bravery to be yourself.**About our co-sponsor, True & Co: **True & Co. was started with a belief that bras could be better. With input from 9 million real women, they developed a line of undergarments in fabrics and constructions that support exactly the way you want to be supported. We love True & Co because real people and their stories are at the heart of their brand. They celebrate women’s bodies, regardless of shape and size, and encourage consumers to share their truths, insecurities, etc through their social media campaign, #TogetherWeAreTrue. Whether it is body acceptance, postpartum struggles, issues with skin, aging, and weight, all people are encouraged to share their personal journeys and are valued in the True & Co community. FOLLOW STYLELIKEU:Join the movement on Patreon: https://bit.ly/3sa8MxwInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/stylelikeu/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stylelikeu

Watch Rwenshaun's Full Video Here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgM8ijWOw1oSpring Health is breaking barriers to mental health by working with employers to give employees fast and easy access to the right care, at the right time.In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, together with Spring Health, we are creating opportunities for YOU to share your mental health journeys online and ‘in person’ at our virtual ‘What’s Underneath: Collective Therapy’ summit in June. Follow @stylelikeu and @springhealth on Instagram for more details and announcements on how you can participate and share in the healing power of vulnerability, truth-sharing, and the unshakable bravery to be yourself.FOLLOW STYLELIKEU:Join the movement on Patreon: https://bit.ly/3sa8MxwInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/stylelikeu/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stylelikeu

Watch Dronme's Full Video Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKG0IVLHv1g&ab_channel=StyleLikeU

In this week’s episode of ‘What’s Underneath: Black Voices’ featuring Olu Fann of Earthgang, he shares the conflicts of identity on his journey to stardom. If you agree that facades separate us and being radically honest brings us together, please take a moment to subscribe to our podcast and share this video with any friends or family who could benefit from understanding that they are enough as they are. New Episodes drop Thursdays! FOLLOW STYLELIKEU: Join the movement on Patreon: https://bit.ly/3sa8Mxw​ Instagram: https://bit.ly/3q32JsZ​ Facebook: https://bit.ly/3bl0LA7​ Newsletter: https://bit.ly/35nTMCC “I think I'm dealing with the grief of losing a part of myself or birthing a part of myself,” says Rapper Olu of Earthgang. Olu talks about the intense conflicts he experiences with his burgeoning success as a musician and the hardship that comes with leaving family, friends and community behind when life pulls you toward your purpose. The death of his beloved father, who showed up for everyone, took the ‘training wheels’ off and further propelled Olu to believe in himself and his artistic calling. Trying to reconcile what was ingrained in him throughout his formative years is that poverty does not equal piety, and that being a man does not mean you only dress in suits and jerseys and baggy jeans, but rather you can be rich and benevolent and every bit of a provider while wearing wraps and gold everywhere. “I think groups are made stronger by people who know themselves and put themselves first, and then bring that back into the group that ultimately allows you to open up more doors for more people.”

Often mistaken for an ex-convict or a drug dealer with his body and face covered in tattoos, activist and artist Yves Mathieu East has a list a mile long of all the ways he gives back to a world that has repeatedly let him down, simply for being who he is. Having been bullied and outcast throughout his life as a closeted gay kid, Yves found his power and calling when he courageously overcame addiction after coming out at 16. Now, he channels his outrage into a tender-hearted and fervent activism, both on the front lines of BLM protests (where in 2020 he traveled to 26 states across the country, was arrested 12 times and jailed 4), and online, where he uses his Instagram to pay homage to everyone marginalized, especially Trans individuals, giving them the respect and dignity in death that they should have received in life. This is the story of a lover who’s spirit will not rest until all who are forgotten (including pitbulls), are cared for and loved. Share Yves’ video with your friends and loved ones and spread the message that while we do not choose to be born who we are, we can heal the world by choosing to stand proudly in our skin and accept each other to the core. If you agree that facades separate us and being radically honest brings us together, please take a moment to subscribe to our podcast and share this video with any friends or family who could benefit from understanding that they are enough as they are. New Episodes drop Thursdays!

Watch Bea's Full Video on YouTube Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Z5PNqnFpQw&ab_channel=StyleLikeU

To support Richie’s work to abolish prisons and patriarchy, please donate to Success Stories here: https://www.successstoriesprogram.org/Watch Richie's Full Video Here:

Watch Ceyenne's Full Video Here: 

Watch Leon's Full Video On YouTube: 

Check out Kiersey's What's Underneath video interview here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHIZympOlLc&t=21s&ab_channel=StyleLikeU

Check out Janaya's full video on YouTube here: 

Check out Janaya's Full Video on YouTube Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vmpxcq_XZg&ab_channel=StyleLikeU

In this week’s episode of our podcast, former Fashion Stylist turned Radical Dance Teacher, Kate Shela, wants to be seen for exactly who she is, no matter the “risk.” She exchanged her career in fashion and the dream of being a professional dancer (both paths that relied on achieving unattainable ideals of external perfection) for the rewards of healing herself and others as a teacher of the legendary 5 Rhythms dynamic movement practice, a method of dance that allows people to embody their whole, messy, imperfect selves. In keeping with her courage to tear off masks, Kate dared herself to see herself when she chopped off her hair on both sides and let it go grey, a turning point that had her feeling truly beautiful for the first time. Today, at 48, Kate feels as though she is just beginning, as she steps into the vulnerability of launching her own form of dance classes and immersions called The 360 Emergence: “The work is about how to help people come out of their own closet, their own spaces of shame, into a space of sharing and thriving.” From Fashion Stylist to Radical Dance Teacher, the topics covered in this episode include: Working in London’s fashion industry during the creatively expansive 1980’s Making the change from telling stories through clothes to telling stories through dance Overcoming negative self-talk Dance and creative outlets as saviors and overcoming shame How shaving your hair changes people’s perception of you Empowered at 48 years old and embracing gray hair Stepping into your calling by taking a risk The “problem” of being “too much” and not fitting into a box Being of service in your profession Starting your own business Stepping into courage and fear We’d like to extend a special thank you to sponsor, Mad Hippie, for supporting our movement and helping to bring this episode to life. Cruelty-free and committed to reducing the world’s carbon imprint, Mad Hippie believes that high-quality ingredients should be affordable and that taking care of your skin should be protective, nourishing and restorative. Like StyleLikeU, Mad Hippie was born with a “buck the establishment” manifesto and a belief that we must treat ourselves and our fellow beings with love and respect, regardless of gender, race, orientation, age, location...or even species. For one month following the release of this episode, Mad Hippie is offering StyleLikeU viewers 20% off of their orders by using the coupon code STYLE at checkout. https://www.madhippie.com/ If these stories are transformative on your own journey towards acceptance, please consider becoming a member of StyleLikeU on Patreon so that we can build a world where everyone feels comfortable and safe in their skin. To join the movement, head over to https://www.patreon.com/stylelikeu And if you know anyone who would be empowered by this story, please share and be a part of spreading the message that true style is the result of radical self-acceptance.

Elisa and Lily sit down with inspirational stylist, fashion consultant, author, magazine editor, and former co-host of What Not To Wear, Stacy London. Style by fire, Stacy’s trademark “Morticia” gray streak grew in when she was eleven and she has been refusing to hide it ever since. But it isn’t until turning 50 that she is actually having a midlife Renaissance in her Princess dresses and finally feeling a deep comfort in her skin. She is coming into her own having done life her way; not married, without kids and never having had a conventional job. This after a lifetime of eating disorders under fashions unforgiving lens as a Fashion Editor at magazines like Vogue and as a superstar TV host of “What Not To Wear.” “Beauty is about love and contentment,” is Stacy’s new mantra. This week’s topics include: reconnecting to personal style after What Not To Wear combatting the invisibility of women over 40 lost in your 20’s finding yourself at 50 feeling like you have to say yes when you should say no grieving a parent eating disorders and body dysmorphia menopause and self-acceptance through aging the humiliating pain of psoriasis Vogue and the fashion industry the brutally rigorous life of being a reality TV star This episode is brought to you by Chantelle Lingerie. Our listeners can take advantage of free shipping by going to chantelle.com and using the coupon code STYLE.

Their own hero, Janaya’s all-black uniform can be packed in 7 minutes flat in case they are called to the front lines as an activist and organizer, where they have the responsibility of redirecting rage and rallying community around politically and socially charged moments. You will also find them wearing black in the boxing ring, where they have learned to punch without apology and where they have found refuge as a black, queer, non-binary person in an inclusive space. Janaya’s heroic qualities are also pronounced by their title of Futurist, which was given to them by members of the Black Lives Matter chapter in Toronto (which they co-created). Janaya speaks to communities around the world about the need to communicate and listen to one another despite the insidious Racism, Bigotry, Transphobia, and Islamophobia that runs rampant in our society. Without communication, they believe we will stay in the same cycles of separation and segregation. Despite a traumatic childhood, or perhaps because of it, living to bridge differences and create more understanding between people of all walks of life is perhaps what most makes Janaya the superhero that they are. This episode is brought to you by Chantelle Lingerie. Our listeners can take advantage of free shipping by going to chantelle.com and using the coupon code STYLE.

Relinquishing shame and stepping into her fullest self is what impersonating others did for Chloe Fineman once she discovered comedy. But her journey to this comfort within only came after lots of zigs and zags. For years, Chloe struggled to fit into a traditional acting career that demanded she shrink herself both literally and figuratively to fit into a waify ingenue “hot girl box.” But a bout with anorexia followed by a chapter of overeating ice cream and blowing out her thyroid led to a dramatic weight gain that became the turning point in Chloe’s path towards fully owning her inner-clown. Today, with an arsenal of wigs, Chloe prides herself on the contribution to society that she makes by embodying the tragic flaws of problematic white women, like Ivanka Trump and Elizabeth Holmes. Feeling the most beautiful when she’s doing her work, Chloe is a tour de force of comic relief, healing pain with lots of laughs. “When I'm doing something where I feel like I'm talented when I'm doing the thing that I love to do and I know that I have a skill at...I'll usually feel really beautiful. I think that's a good way to navigate your relationships; who sees you as beautiful in that or who sees you in a selfie?” This episode is brought to you by Chantelle Lingerie. Our listeners can take advantage of free shipping by going to chantelle.com and using the coupon code STYLE.

Born in Kenya of Maasai and Kikuyu roots, Neema Githere has faced the harsh realities of growing up in racist America and, at 21 is proudly living the life of her choosing. With her crown of Bantu hair knots and rainbow braids, she had the smarts to get into almost every ivy league school from a small town in Colorado, where she was feared and fetishized for her difference. She later had the bravery to drop out of Yale in favor of a life outside the systems that oppress her, upon realizing that she was unhappy in an elitist academia that is the very bastion of colonialism. Already living the happy ending, Neema is learning about radical love and transcendence from the ancient philosopher Rumi as a means of dealing with the pervasive triggers of systemic racism, traveling to every corner of the world, and is a curator at The Africa Center in NY, where she curates the portal program, ’an internet you can walk through’ that allow us to connect to people everywhere, free from digital algorithms. “Not only is yale on stolen land but it is upheld by the labor of black people and by separating itself as an elite institution against the masses of people who lack access to these institutions. It became a lot for me to weigh in my head; how can I have this revolutionary heart and spirit and intention and still be so deeply entrenched in this institution that's trying to assimilate me into a place of "upwards class mobility" at the expense of my psychological health and cultural health.” This episode is brought to you by Chantelle Lingerie. Our listeners can take advantage of free shipping by going to chantelle.com and using the coupon code STYLE.

The objectification of women, as represented by the sexualization and thus censorship of their breasts, is such a profound form of systemic oppression that Sister Leona sees no other route to liberation than to rip off her shirt, tap into her inner superhero and take to the streets in protest. Her goal is to get the Equal Rights Amendment into the Constitution and showing up topless outside of the Kavanaugh Supreme Court hearings and getting arrested is not Leona’s only rebel cry. A mustache and goatee that she draws onto her face exaggerate the extreme hypocrisy of what is acceptable for a man to do as opposed to a woman. And her flamboyant hats and swashbuckling trousers make it loud and clear (in the name of all women) that Leona will not be shamed for anything that makes her power and expression as a woman shine as bright as possible. “To sexualize means to make sexual. It's something you do to somebody else. And that's a choice. Guys are like, ‘Okay, well, what if I think that she's sexy?’ And I'm like, ‘It's okay what you think, but she doesn't need to know what you think. And also what you need to know is that she's a multitude of other things. Her sexuality is just one aspect of her being.’ Also, women's breasts have nothing to do with sex. All human breasts are categorized the same in medical science, which is as a secondary sex characteristic. That same categorization on men's breasts does not mean that they have to cover their breasts. So you can see it's just a means of oppression.’’ This episode is brought to you by Olie Biologique. Olie delivers the nutrients your skin craves fast. Save 20% with the code STYLELIKEU20.

Founder of The Wu Tang Clan, Rapper, Producer, Musician, Actor, Filmmaker, Author, Writer and soon-to-be creator of a TV show about his life, RZA (aka Robert Fitzgerald Diggs) is all grown up. From wearing army fatigues in the 90s, which represented the militant mindset that initially brought RZA to superstardom, the icon has emerged in 2019 as a Renaissance man who appreciates the reverence that comes with the occasional suit and tie. Among the many insights that RZA lets us in is on how he has remained comfortable in himself amidst the bright lights of Hollywood. Further, he shares how the passing of his mother brought him from the spiritual audacity of being lost in a God complex in his 20s, to the spiritually awake place he exists within now. “I think ‘comfortable’ is more like ‘at ease’ and when you’re ‘confident,’ you actually are not at ease. You are putting on a strength that you have to pump up for. ‘Comfortable’ is when could just fall asleep on a roller coaster… At the end of the day, I could care two cents less if you ever take a picture of me. I'm in this for the expression that was built in me. After everything that I've done in my life, and the moments of pride that I felt from my mom, being able to provide for my family economically, now it’s more for me to know that what I'm doing, each footprint that I'm putting down, is leaving a footprint for someone else to walk that path.” This episode is brought to you by Olie Biologique. Olie delivers the nutrients your skin craves fast. Save 20% with the code STYLELIKEU20 at https://www.amazon.com/oliebiologique.

Co-creator, writer and director of HBO’s High Maintenance, Katja Blichfeld shares the agony and ecstasy of what has been a lifetime of coming to terms with her queerness. After going to an Evangelical Christian school as a child, Katja deeply struggled to honor the natural impulses of her sexuality. In her mid-thirties, during her marriage to High Maintenance Co-Creator Ben Sinclair, a full-on depression (amidst the height of her career success and her dream job) propelled Katja to claim the truth of who she was. Now, with a skip in her step and in love with a woman, the baker-turned-casting director-turned-TV empresario vouches for the beauty of following your heart, twists and turns included. “It took me almost 40 years before I could be comfortable with the fact I'm a queer person...and because of my religious indoctrination, I think I was unable to be truthful with myself about who I really was and what kind of a life I wanted to live. That's the biggest way that rules and the binary and this whole notion of right and wrong have harmed me.” This episode is brought to you by Olie Biologique. Olie delivers the nutrients your skin craves fast. Save 20% with the code STYLELIKEU20 at https://www.amazon.com/oliebiologique.

In a world that is quick to judge and fear the other, Lebanese filmmaker Pam Nasr doesn’t want to overlook the many ways we can communicate and seek bonds without words, whether it be through the food we share or how we dress. When she walks down the street in bold colors or flaunting her strong legs, Pam’s style screams, “I love life” and “I want to connect.” Growing up in Dubai with a dad who gave her the space to push boundaries and wear mini-skirts in a country that is more conservative due to its tradition has given Pam the grit needed to take risks. After her initial soiree studying fashion in London, Pam followed her gut and moved without barely a moment of hesitance into filmmaking in New York to produce her first feature short, Clams Casino. Addressing the complexities of finding connection and expressing love, whether on social media or in real life, Clams Casino explores the tensions between a mother and daughter (mirroring her own personal story with her mom) through the lens of Mukbang, a phenomenon in South Korea where people seek intimacy though eating on the internet. “I love to be loud in the clothes I wear. I love that if I'm wearing a jacket you could see it across the room or across the street because, hopefully, it creates an interaction with someone...when you're not pushing people away you are in this world together that automatically means that you love the world, you love your life if you love people, because we don't live alone in this world.” This episode is brought to you by Olie Biologique. Olie delivers the nutrients your skin craves fast. Save 20% with the code STYLELIKEU20 at https://www.amazon.com/oliebiologique. stylelikeu + instagram + youtube

“When is it enough?” Amy Yeung has been asking herself this since becoming a mom 18 years ago. Now 55, Amy feels like she is a “naked baby chasing butterflies…every day is so much fun.” Amy already knew how to build success the consumerist way, with a big-brand career designing fast fashion destined for landfills. But following a breakthrough moment in the Moroccan desert, she turned her back on being a designer of disposable fashion in favor of creating success with a conscience. Her company, Orenda Tribe, upcycles old textiles and reimagines vintage. Creating her own smaller, sustainable business has given Amy the wings needed to pursue her greatest calling, using any excess funds made from her sales to give back to the grave and underexposed inequities of her Navajo community. And by way of her giving back, re-integrating with her indigenous origins and family has set Amy onto a path of possibly her greatest healing, one of decolonizing herself and re-connecting to her roots that were once lost when she was adopted as a baby. “Part of my brain operates on success and trying to push ahead and make things bigger. I meditate every day on how to keep it small because enough is enough. We don't need to have these huge houses and these huge lives. If anything, I'm trying to make my life smaller and smaller and more meaningful as I get towards the end and think if I have less stuff I can give more of myself.”

From her grade-school role of “goth weirdo” among a sea of blond hair and floral dresses to playing a myriad of stereotypical Asian-best-friend parts in Hollywood, Korean-American actress and performance artist Vivien Bang has struggled to be seen and heard for who she is. It wasn’t until Vivien began to listen to her inner voice, which included a deep dive into her roots, that she came to realize that she could be the hero of her own story. This super power has guided her to release traditional binds of security and redefine success on her own terms. Now secure in the insecure, Vivian has had the courage to make the choices that scare her the most, walking away from the man she loved because she didn’t want children, instead manifesting White Rabbit, the movie she made about her life, which debuted at Sundance in 2018. “For so long I've been trying to take up space and to be heard, you know? I mean, it's funny because like, I think in the beginning my struggle was like, to figure out what I wanted to be, like what I wanted to say. And then so much of my time was like, "How can I be heard? How can I be seen?" And right now I'm in this like, weird phase of, I just want to kind of listen, you know, like, have a deeper sort of listening of what, I don't know, the universe wants to tell me what I'm trying to tell myself.”

23-year-old cultural activist Kamil Oshundara invites you to judge her by her cover. An open book when it comes to expressing herself, Kamil’s body is her altar and she is continually designing it as a means of altering perceptions and making it clear that she is her own person and not anyone’s product. With a rage that is love, Kamil’s authentic tattoos, markings, jewelry, and piercings, honor the richness of indigeneity, her Yoruba religion, her ancestry, gender fluidity and a “don’tmess” confrontation with Western beauty standards. A spoken wordsmith, queer curator, and cultural exec at Monkeypaw Productions (‘Get Out’ and ‘Blackkklansman’), Kamil’s life is her art. Likening herself to a tree with her emerald green hair as the canopy, her brown skin as the bark, her feet planted on the ground as her roots, and her strong branches that cannot break, Kamil knows who she is. “A lot of people say, ‘don't judge a book by its cover.’ It’s a very popular saying but I always say that I design my cover to be read very intentionally. I want you to be able to get a pretty good sense of me. I'm very comfortable with writing on my walls and revealing myself. Showing is radical. I'm never trying to hide. You can't unsee me. I’m here.”

Often while riding her Harley Davidson and always driven by her immense love for this planet and the cultures that inhabit it, there is almost no wild and untouched place on this planet to which Betsy Huelskamp has not traveled. Despite having practically no time to train, and facing life-threatening hostility from the men around her, she reached over 27,000 feet on Mount Everest. In this episode, Betsy talks to us about the Death Zone on Everest, the life-changing empowerment of riding a motorbike, the devastating losses of loved ones she’s experienced along the way, and how her faith keeps her tirelessly pushing boundaries. For Betsy, getting older means growing into her freedom, even if it comes with a price. “People see me as being this wild easy going free spirit. But "free" has a price and you can't be free, truly free if you're trapped in your own body's prison. You can't be free if you're addicted to something that controls you, like drugs. You can't be free if you're in a marriage that is somehow turning into your jail. So for me, I'm always focusing on keeping my little girl free.”

Superstar fashion stylist turned apothecary healer, Lysa Cooper, reminds us of the authentic New York of yesteryear, a time when phones were at home and ‘living in the moment’ was the only place to be. A time when style had less to do with shopping than enhancing our experience of ourselves and those around us. She talks candidly about leaving home at 14 for the Big Apple in the 90’s, the pitfalls of our modern celebrity-and-phone-addicted culture, and starting a whole new chapter in her 50s. “I've already been at the best party. I've already had the best lovers. I've done it all and the only thing that now impresses me is the new, the invigorating, the enlightened, and the light itself. So, in relationship to me also starting a new career, I'm looking for a new perspective in community and love and even in a partner.”

Ilma gore is an Australian-American artist and activist whose work is such a true expression of who she is that she is willing to be banned from the internet and beaten up for her beliefs when it comes to her art. The loss of her parents, a home and any sense of stability at a young age is what she attributes to her ability to be so liberated in her life from fear. “Life and death are the same to me,” Illma states. Some of her political-centered work hones in on the obsessive significance placed on our sense of self-worth based on our body parts. Well known for her highly provocative portrait of President Trump with a small penis, Illma explains that it is not about degrading Trump, but exploring the enormous significance placed on the size of his, or anyone’s, genitals, as a sign of power and status. “I think that we put a lot of pressure on what we look like...there's so much tied to it, especially with women and the oppression of women and skin color. Everything has to do with stereotyping and the way we look and these pieces of my art are supposed to be a direct recreation of that exact reaction.”

Ty Defoe is an Ojibwe and Oneida grammy award-winning performance artist, activist, and writer who identifies as Two-Spirit. In Native American cultures, not only is it acknowledged that gender is more fluid than our patriarchal binary society allows, but Two-Spirit individuals are also highly revered for their spiritual gifts. In this episode, Ty talks to us about the difficulty of being accepted as Two-Spirit, even within his own culture, as a result of colonialistic and religious brainwashing, whilst recalling the tender way his mother observed his body change with testosterone hormone therapy. Ty challenges the assumptions about classic literature (who is Shakespeare a classic for, anyway?), asks why hair should be an indicator of gender, and inspires us all to look more closely at the way we label ourselves and those around us. “People build fences and boxes and walls to keep the truth out.” “Examining self and examining what you're taught always stirs the pot a little bit...But I think that's what people who are making art, people who are two-spirit, who are queer, who are on the margins, are on the fray, I kind of feel like, that's the role, to make this revolution happen.”

Dana Falsetti, speaker, writer, yoga teacher of larger bodies, and body positive insta-warrior visionary on a mission to make the world a more accessible place, talks about how her yoga practice was born out of a need to prove herself but quickly grew into something much bigger than that, even steering her away from the legal profession path she was on. We discuss the double-edged sword of social media commodification and why Dana felt the need to take a break from Instagram, and how perilous fat-phobia is in the medical world where people are told to “just lose weight” as a cure-all rather than looking beyond the body to find an accurate diagnosis. Dana also reveals to us how her teenage body was both shamed and desired:  “My body changed very quickly when I was young. So by the time I was 12, I literally looked like I was 19 or 20, and I had a very adult kind of curvy body. I had full breasts and hips and everything. And while I'm getting fat-shamed by every person in my life, the only people giving me attention were men. So it just very quickly became the path for like, "Oh, you see me, so I'm going to you." But all the while, still insecure about the body, still feeling that same shame but seeking that route. Of course, it never filled me in any way and actually, I'd feel worse after every single time. But I never saw that I was in that pattern until I started my [yoga] practice and had that mirror and I was like, "Wait a minute, what am I doing?" And I just stopped. I was like, "No more of this until I understand why I'm having sex with people at all. Like, why am I doing this?" And that's the question for everything that I do now, is just the WHY.” 

From being a fashion director for W Magazine to studying yoga and opening her own studio, to growing pot in Northern California, to making a spontaneous move to the magical, middle of nowhere in Uruguay, Heidi Lender has lived many lives. After years of following the dreams and wishes of the men in her life, in the last seven years, Heidi has had a slow and uncomfortable awakening to the fact that over time she had developed a pattern of dimming her own light in exchange for pleasing her partners. Now, at 50, she is, at last, giving birth to her calling and coming to terms with the fact that she isn’t going to fulfill her princess motherhood fantasy. Happier than ever, Heidi is single and breaking her fear of success by creating Campo, a new, global creative hub in South America. “I really fell hard and quietly and I never do things quietly but I really kept it to myself. I didn't necessarily want to be a mother but...there was a moment when I thought, ‘Oh my God. Well, then, what am I, as a woman? Who am I? What am I going to be? If I'm not going to be a mom?’ And I really just fell hard and sad and I had no idea. It was so traumatic because I didn't know that I had this princess mother thing inside of me...The Universe was like, ‘Here Heidi, you better just take a deep look at who you are because you've got however many years left and you can't go on like this, being asleep.’ I was asleep. Ironically, I actually thought I was awake. I was studying yoga and I was super self-aware and I really thought, ‘Wow, I’m such a smarty-pants,’ but I really was asleep.”

Singer, dancer, and fashion designer, Wunmi, short for Ibiwunmi, meaning “a birth loved, a child loved, a life loved”, is a force of nature, but it took her a long time before she felt she could step into her name and really own it. Abandoned by her mother and sent to live with family in Nigeria by her father, Wunmi grew up fantasizing over and yearning for her mother’s love. Feeling deeply lost and invisible, clothing and dancing became a way for her to be seen, “I didn't want to dress like anybody else. I didn't want to dance like anybody else. I didn't want to sing like anybody else. I needed to find me because I felt so lost. I wasn't somebody that felt was wanted initially, so I need to be needed.” It was acting on this deep-rooted desire that got Wunmi noticed by Roy Ayers and led to her becoming the iconic dancing silhouette on Soul II Soul’s biggest hits in the late 80s (Back to Life, Keep on Moving). It was also Roy Ayers, her Fairy Godfather, who persuaded Wunmi she could sing, and it is through a continuation of all these expressions, singing, dancing, and style, that Wunmi was able to heal her wounded child and declare, “Wunmi Ibiwunmi is finally grown.”

We interviewed Naomi Shimada three years ago for the What’s Underneath Project video series. She inspired us then and continues to inspire us daily on social media with her singular embrace of herself, which includes her voluptuous curves, her boldly colorful style, her overall joie de vivre and its inextricable link to her darker side. In 2015, when we asked Naomi what her favorite body part was, she said it was her mouth because everything she loves most in life comes from the lips, “Kissing, eating...I feel like so much of what makes me happy goes back to my mouth.” During her 15-year modeling career, Naomi was a pioneer for bravely breaking from the confines of being a “straight-sized” model and letting her body be what it was supposed to be. Now, despite its challenges, she stands outside of any category in the fashion industry, even that of “plus-sized” model, in order to stay fiercely true to herself. Find out why Naomi has blossomed through being single, how dancing helps her get through depression, the complexities of being a model in the age of Instagram, and why, for her, getting dressed is an act of resistance. “Clothes and color are my coping mechanisms and I laugh because I have to to get through life. I really want to demystify the fact that someone is always happy and always ‘on’. I love life. I find beauty in so many things...The most powerful things are the smallest things that happened to you in the day.”

We are super excited to be with the youngest of the three Kirke Sisters, Lola Kirke. We have already featured both Jemima and Domino on our What’s Underneath video series, and Domino was also with us in episode 6 of this podcast, so now we are thrilled to be able to dig deep into what’s underneath the equally radical and truthful younger sister. Lola talks candidly about growing up in a bohemian family of artists, the struggle to be heard in a room of men, how sexual rejection fueled a song on her debut album, ‘Heart Head West’, and why self-doubt has been a major source of inspiration. “I’m curious if I would be as prolific without that creeping sense of self-doubt at all times,” explains Lola. We love Lola’s gangster moves in bucking the body-negative trends of celebrity culture by not shaving her armpits for the Golden Globes, and refusing to chase the Size-Zero formula. “There's that wheat-paste that's around my neighborhood right now that says, ‘In a culture that profits from your low self-esteem, liking yourself is a radical act.’ And I do think that there is a systemic way in which we are all taught that we are not good enough, and this world goes around on the dollars that we spend trying to make ourselves feel better.”

We sit down this week with the incredibly multi-talented artist, director, and musician, Terence Nance, to get inside his head about things like his HBO series, Random Acts of Flyness, that airs out, in almost a stream-of-consciousness, many of today’s most salient issues like systemic racism, white privilege, gender, and masculinity. Not knowing it all is especially important to Terence’s work, “I think of making stuff as conversation; why would you get into a conversation if you knew where it was going to go? Why would it be interesting to talk to somebody if you knew exactly what they were going to say back to you?”. He also explains why honesty within his family and close relationships is what makes him feel the most vulnerable, but he goes there anyway so as to set an example to his nieces and nephews, and why he sees beauty as a scale of disarming people and emitting ease, rather than as an aesthetic quality. But most fascinating to us is how Terence unpacks attributes that we give to words such as unapologetic. “People have been using the word unapologetic a lot and I don't know that I have a relationship to that word because that means that I would have had some sort of expectation that I am to apologize for something...I've never felt any kind of dialogue with an audience or anybody making the show that made me feel like there was anything that would offend or necessitate an apology or a caveat of any kind.”

Curandera (Mexican Healer), Chloe Garcia Ponce, was introduced to darkness at 8 years old when her father passed away. “In order to understand or to speak about light you have to experience darkness. The amount of light that I'm capable of working with is also because I have witnessed a lot of darkness and sadness and grief and pain, and all that is part of this beautiful wheel of life. We cannot have one without the other.” In a way, the passing of her father was her first teacher on her spiritual path because she realized that he was not gone from her. “I could hear things when I was younger and I was very much connected to wanting to give people the proper way of dying. When I was a kid I would find animals, dead birds, cats, that were run over, and I I felt innately my duty that I needed to give them a proper burial.” But It wasn’t until her Saturn Return that Chloe went back to her childhood roots of honoring the spiritual realm as a healer, and turned her back on what felt like the empty life she had been leading in her 20’s in New York’s art business. “I was unhappy, I was very unhappy because nothing felt sacred. In my childhood everything was sacred.” Since, Chloe has listened to heart, defying societal pressures, including that of being a mother, and instead has devoted her energy towards mothering everyone and everything around her. “You have to want to break down all of those boundaries that were imposed socially, from family, from any type of environment, if you really want to find your voice...when you are a Curandera, when you are a healer, it's one of the choices you have to make because whatever I pick up energetically could be passed on to anyone that lives with me. And so most medicine women or men that live in tribal communities don't have children because their children are the people that are in the tribe.” 

We reunite with author and activist, iO Tillett Wright, who we first interviewed about four years ago for our What’s Underneath Project video series. In that interview, he told us about his radical self-awareness as a very young child, asking his parents if he could live as a boy, despite the fact that he was born into a female body. Even after a childhood of gender-bending, for the majority of his adult life, iO identified as a queer woman, and it wasn’t until 3 years ago that iO officially came out as trans, a shift that turned his life and his relationships upside down. In “Self-Evident Truths,” iO’s photo project of the past eight years, he photographs anyone who does not identify as 100% straight or 100% cisgender across all 50 states of America. “When I have 10,000 people I’m going to the National Mall to do an installation in front of the Washington Monument, and just ask people to confront the humanity of the community that, once again and throughout all of history, people have been trying to erase.” iO reminds us that we are all, each and every one of us, our own very special and unique self-evident truth. “If you asked an identical twin what makes up the essence of who somebody is, they're not going to tell you it's the body you come in. You know what I mean? It's who you are on the inside. It's your psyche. It's your mind. So if my brain is a male brain, that's probably 85-90% of who I am but what you see is the skin-suit that I come in. So if you call me ‘she’ you are erasing the only shot I've got at screaming to the world who I really am. You are erasing that 85-90% majority of who I actually am and reducing me to the thing that matters the least, which is the skin-suit that I come in.”

Last week we spoke with Damien Echols who was incarcerated on death row for more than 18 years for murders that he did not commit. It became crystal clear during that interview that the heroism of his story was as much to do with him as it was his wife, Lorri, the heroine of this truly incredible love story. Lorri was a successful architect working in New York when she saw the first Paradise Lost film (which documented the circus of Damien’s first trial) at the Museum of Modern Art in 1996. She was so overcome with emotion after seeing it that she sat down and wrote what would become the first of over three thousand letters that Lorri and Damien exchanged throughout his time in prison, which included 10 years in solitary confinement. Within two years Lorri had quit her job and moved to Arkansas where she married Damien and spent the next twelve years fighting for his release, as project manager of the extraordinary amount of efforts that were needed to give Damien the freedom that he so deserved. “The minute I saw him I just loved him. I just was so struck by seeing him in person. We had glass between us, I couldn't touch him. And it was so emotional and tough and painful because that's when you come in real contact with the suffering.”

In this episode, we are joined by a gigantic hero of ours, Damien Echols, who was incarcerated on death row for 18 years and 76 days for murders that he did not commit. We became aware of his story with the first of a series of three documentaries called Paradise Lost and have since been forever strengthened by his two books (we can’t wait for the next one soon to be released). Damien’s story is one of almost superhuman inspiration in terms of what the human spirit is capable of enduring and overcoming. Having grown up in the bible belt of West Memphis, Damien was an automatic misfit with his interest in mystical, spiritual teachings and because of his style. Most poignant was his being wrongfully accused, partly because of the books he read and a black trenchcoat that he had found in an abandoned house and that he wore often. Damien’s story is so quintessential for StyleLikeU because it shows how we can be so quick to condemn based on a person’s individuality. Despite Damien’s unimaginable fate, including nearly 10 years in solitary confinement, he says he is actually grateful for what happened to him, because through extreme difficulty, he was able to find his authentic path and purpose. “A lot of what living is is figuring out what your real authentic self is in every single situation and circumstance because we've been programmed in ways we don't understand we've been programmed. We've been taught to have 2.5 kids, get married, get a station wagon and a minivan. Make sure your TV is one inch bigger than the neighbors’. People have fallen for that until they've almost become like rats on a treadmill. Falling deeper and deeper into debt, deeper and deeper into despair, deeper and deeper into hell.”

We greatly admire New York-based fashion designer, Mara Hoffman. Her designs and principles stand out in a sea of homogeneity and “buy more” culture. The former dancer studied at Parsons School of Design in New York and London’s Central Saint Martins College. She was “discovered” by Sex and the City stylist, Patricia Field, who sold Mara’s samples in her shop. We sat down with Mara in her 6th Avenue studio to talk getting comfortable with change by facing our mortality, not being too attached to the identities we create for ourselves, and how we have to work for our happiness. We discovered why she’s not actually that passionate about the fashion industry because “it can make people feel kind of lousy...it's completely warped our sense of consuming, in that we ‘need’ all this stuff that we don't need.” Ultimately, Mara’s message is to “let it go to let it grow...Imagine holding a seed in a clenched fist...It's really hard to let things go but that's where the growth is; it's on that other side.”

Having graced us with both a Closet and a What's Underneath video, Molly Rosen Guy is no stranger to StyleLikeU so we are honored to be sitting down with her again for a very real talk about death, divorce, finding inner sanctuary during her darkest hour, and the comfort of knowing she was a rock for her father during the last weeks of his life. We have always been enamored with Molly’s piercing presence and vivid honesty, something that is startlingly evident from the writing on her Instagram account (@mollyrosenguy), an open-ended, heart-opening letter to her father who died from leukemia earlier this year. Molly is also the Founder and Creative Director of Stone Fox Bride, lifting the veil off of the wedding industry to make it an unpretentious, un-intimidating space that is far from superficial. Molly doesn’t do anything superficial which is one of the many reasons we love her so much. “I connected with you guys first because you came into my closet, we talked about my style. And back then it was about my style and my business and those dresses. And then it was about my body, I was pregnant in that video. And now it's about the insides and so much of what this past year was about with my dad is learning about what the body is really about. When my dad began to do chemotherapy and his body began to break down it really made me reconsider and question: what is the body? What am I doing? What is this thing that we consider healthy and beautiful?”

*Please note that this content contains sensitive information regarding mental health and topics related to suicide. The extraordinary artist, poet, model and mental health activist, Riya Hamid, opens up to us about the very brave and honest work she is doing on Instagram surrounding her own personal struggles with mental health, a subject that is all too taboo and that needs to come to the surface, because we all struggle with mental health in one way or another. She describes what it was like to grow up the eldest daughter of immigrant parents from Bangladesh, turning her back on the Muslim religion as a teen, but reconnecting with her past by wearing saris and learning to cook the traditional dishes of her mentally ill mother as a way to care for the wounded child within. Riya holds nothing back as she reveals the truth about her hospitalizations and the difference between passive suicidal ideation and suicidal intention. She explains that it’s possible to have an apparently fun life on the exterior while still being in excruciating pain on the inside. “There just needs to be a revolution in the way that we talk about mental health. Across the entire world, there's not a place where people openly talk about it and I'm sick of it. People deal with this daily, people lose lives. These conversations are bound to make people uncomfortable because it's the first time we're having them and it's actually a good sign, it's supposed to. To an outsider, I'm a person who's popular on social media and I'm attractive and I dress well and I have friends so what could possibly be wrong? What could I have possibly have been through? Every day I get messages from people who accuse me of faking my mental illness and my Go Fund Me because they see me having a good time and people don't realize that those two things can exist concurrently. I can have a good time and still be a mentally ill person.” *A note to all listeners that if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, please call The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255. Thank you.

Yoga teacher, actress, activist, and (we think) should-be-comedian, gifts us with her company while offering insight into what it was like growing up in the (in)famous 70s New York Chelsea Hotel, daughter of Warhol’s “superstar,” Viva, and artist Michel Auder. She tells us why she and her sister, Transparent actress Gaby Hoffman, are both so comfortable in their physicalities, at times to the discomfort of others, and tells the story and motivation behind her incredibly inspiring role on HBO’s High Maintenance playing Gloria, a yoga teacher attempting to break the world record for non-stop dancing, “it was like a homebirth gone awry.” Alex breaks down the difference between commodified “downward dog and vinyasa yoga” and the principles behind the yoga of “expanding in the now… what yoga says is the only way to expand in the now is to look death in the eye because then we're comfortable with change,” and how being comfortable with change is the key to owning and embracing our changing bodies. We pack a lot into this episode so keep your ears open!

Coined the ‘Social Justice Astrologer’ and a rock “star” to us, Chani Nicholas’ readings make you feel as if she is speaking to you personally in the deepest, most intuitive, profound, psychological, and empowering way. She talks to us about how her relationship with the planets as early as 8 years old, was the first thing that made her feel seen, having grown up neglected while locked in a “sex, drugs and rock’n’roll party” on the side of a mountain, finding love at 38 just when she thought she would never have “the family,” and choosing life in her darkest times: “I was sitting watching a sunbeam on the forest floor and I went into a kind of meditation and a lot of time passed because the patch of light was one place and by the time I realized what had happened it was at another, but it was this experience of literally feeling the part of me that was separated turn around and see me and literally making a choice...it was an experience of choosing myself and choosing to see what was worth saving in myself.”

We were so excited to be back in the same room as Jacob Tobia that we could barely contain our finger snaps. This author, producer, and gender-fabulous gem talked to us about pets, pencil skirts, and nail polish alongside urgent issues around gender and style politics. Far from binary, this nonconformist has compared gender to a multifaceted diamond with endless and infinite refractions and permutations, different gradations of radiance and existence. Yes. Yes. Yes. More. Please. “Any strategy for getting yourself more space, or acknowledging that others need more space even if you don't is a strategy that I support. Broadening what masculinity means, making the ‘man’ box bigger, giving men more room to move around and stay within a box...if we widen both of the boxes so much that they come together they may just fall apart on their own. There is such beauty in broadening masculinity and femininity. There's equal beauty in... pushing with all of your might against the edge of that identity from within it, and in jumping out and saying ‘I'm not in any box.’ One is a riskier position. When you're not within a box you're much more at risk of being hurt in the world and experiencing violence but pushing from within the box to broaden it is so vital.”

One of the most absurd things in the world is that we all dread the one thing we absolutely know is going to happen: we don’t talk about death and as a result, we are all terrified of aging. We have an entire society that is paralyzed by this fear. The obsession with Kim Kardashian and plastic perfection has people worrying about aging and thinking about Botox at 15. How could that make for a happy society? Ashton Applewhite, activist and author of This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism, joins Elisa & Lily and together they discuss the convenient truth that “if aging is a problem we can be persuaded to buy stuff to fix it or cure it when it’s not fixable or curable because it’s not a disease and it’s not a problem.” “One huge factor in this society is that there is so much age segregation. When you look around and you see all ages it feels fantastic, this is how life should be and this is how life was until urbanization came in and capitalism started separating workers of different ages and old age became a problem in the 20th century when retirement homes and nursing homes were invented. One of the problems is that we don’t age mingle and if you don’t mingle with people who are different from you, whether they’re a different color or a different gender or a different age then they seem distant and ‘other’, and this ‘othering’ thing is the source of all prejudice. The bizarre thing about ageism is that the ‘other’ is your own future older self.”

The physical effects of vitiligo have been life-rippling for Jesi Taylor, guiding their journey towards self-acceptance. First down a path of bulimia as an attempt to control the initial devastation of their black skin losing pigment day-by-day, followed by their shifting perspectives around the constructs of race and gender (“what is it that I’m calling myself and letting people identify me as?”), and now in the midst of a high-risk pregnancy. They are finding a deeper peace by surrendering to the truth that one way or another, the only constant is that we are all forever changing.