POPULARITY
Step into the shadows for Five Frights, a chilling new episode of Uncle Josh's True Scary Stories. This collection brings you five firsthand encounters with the paranormal, the strange, and the utterly unexpected. Whether you're drawn to ghostly encounters, unexplainable phenomena, or those moments that leave you questioning reality itself, Five Frights delivers a bone-deep dose of dread. Turn down the lights, settle in, and prepare for five stories you won't soon forget.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/uncle-joshs-true-scary-stories--1977911/support.
Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 27 Appreciation? In 30 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the podcast at Explicit Novels. Children must face the scrutiny of their parents The Dining Hall was almost a relief. That relief died the moment I saw the banner over the front of the serving area in the Hall. 'Zane Appreciation Day'. Since every word was spelled correctly, it wasn't some stunt of Rio's, but beyond that, the list of suspects was too large to consider. This could be a genuine outpouring of acceptance and sympathy for what I had endured here. If you believe that, I have to ask you: 'Do you want your leprechaun pissing Guinness or Irish Malt?' Most likely, this was going to be some sort of humiliation, and I think I knew the flavor, and I definitely knew how to find out. See, in every seat of the Dining Hall was a big, bowling ball sized white box with a name and secured with a gold and green ribbon, so no cheating; no peeking. That last bit didn't deter me, though. I snuck up on the box marked for Holiday Carpenter. "Zane, does that have your name on it?" Virginia Goodswell asked me, my English teacher and Spiritual Advisor. Hell, if it had been Mrs. Marlowe, I would have opened it anyway, but Virginia was my buddy so her next question didn't mean to stab a stake of regret through my heart. "Where is Vivian?" "I left my room before she was done." I looked to the ground while I kicked some imaginary dust off the slate floor. "Why don't you see if she's been calling you?" she suggested. "She's probably worried." Worried, or homicidal because, ya know, I had sort of run off without my phone, wallet, watch, book bag, or anything else a 21st century student might need. "I ran away like a big, fat chicken," I confessed. "Anything not glued to my body I left behind." "I'll give her a call." She pulled out her phone and hit speed dial #2. I crap since her sick mother is probably #1. I am such a big problem for her, she has my guardian on speed dial! "That is Holiday Carpenter's box, Zane, not yours. Besides, there are strict instructions to not open the boxes until instructed." The panicky response I overheard from Virginia's conversation with Vivian hardly helped my mood. She wanted to know if Virginia knew where I was, she did; that I was okay, I was; and finally, what upset me, because the other girls weren't talking but apparently Mercy had started slapping Barbie Lynn around until Rio and Val pulled her off. Now, that made less than no sense. Wasn't that supposed to work the other way around? Virginia did a double check and sure enough, Mercy had slammed Barbie Lynn into an open wardrobe on my behalf, and Rio and Val had pulled her back. WTF! I am sure that Rio was right beside me on that one. Vivian triple checked that I was physically and mentally okay and she sounded so disappointed, in herself, as she did so. She was bringing my stuff; yes, I am an earthworm. Virginia promised for me that I would remain here until she arrived. Some stupid gesture like a loud public apology, done on bended knee, was blatantly unfair to Vivian, who only meant the best for me. I made a quick apology, not trying to meet her eyes as I said the words and took my stuff. All of 'my' girls seemed equally subdued. A minute after we had garnered our victuals, Vivian put a hand on my elbow. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Zane," Vivian smiled warmly at me. "You take a lot of stress and pressure on yourself. I understand that from time to time you need to take in a tiny bit of private space for yourself. Clearly, you can't schedule any such time because nothing around you stays a secret for very long and no one respects your privacy or even asks what you need." "Vivian," I was puzzled, "you deserve to be righteously pissed with me. You are my Guardian and I promised to stay by you or at least tell you where I was." "Zane, we let you down," Vivian assured me. "It is your dorm room and we are your guests, and we have been rather poor guests at that." "How about we call a truce?" I offer. "I can live with that," Vivian smiled. "Cut the Kumbaya-time, kids," Rio snorted derisively. "Zane, what the fuck happened with Mercy?" Rio playfully punched Mercy's arm to emphasize her uncertainty. "Rio, Bro, drop it," I asked sincerely. "Act like it didn't happen." Rio studied me a second, then got this wickedly evil grin. "What the hell are you talking about, Glenda?" she hefted the box up then shook it. "It seems my damn box is glued shut. Are we celebrating one thousand cunts licked by you, or what?" Because Rio rarely expounded at a level below full volume, next thing we hear is Mrs. Marlow snapping, "Ms. Talon, watch your language; there are good Christian women being forced to sit within the sound of your voice!" "Gotcha, Ms. Mouthful," Rio snapped off with a snap and a finger raised up like a pistol in the air. "What did you say?" Marlowe closed the distance. "She was repeating what I pointed out," I turned and smiled. "I said that you really had it going together this morning; that you were more than a mouthful. That's a hip/trending term to describe someone who is expressing themselves through clothing and make-up." "You are lying, Mr. Braxton," she snarled. "You are probably right, as I do so to you on general principle, but good luck proving it in student court," I grinned right back. We locked wills and she blinked first. "Ms. Phillips," Marlowe turned on Vivian, "what are you going to do about this?" "Zane and Rio, would you please apologize for being rude and insensitive to an educator who only wishes the best for the student body?" Vivian requested. "I so apologize," I bowed my head. "I so apologize as well," Rio tacked on. Only after Marlowe had gone to spread love and sunshine somewhere else did Rio lean across me and whisper to Vivian. "You rock!" Rio giggled gleefully. After all, Rio and I had not apologized to Mrs. Marlowe because neither one of us believed for a minute that she was 'an educator who only wishes the best for the student body'. To that nameless entity, we owed a debt, and to Mrs. Marlow we owed a generous 'fuck you,' and Vivian had made it all possible. "Why, thank you, Rio," Vivian nodded her acceptance of Rio's praise. "Jesus is the Peacemaker and we all should attempt to emulate his teachings." "So, I still don't get to lick you senseless?" Rio snickered. "No, no, you don't," Vivian smiled, even though she didn't look at either of us. Vivian's going to rock as a mom. The next half hour passed quietly. Everyone was curious about the boxes but no one was too worried until a rumor suddenly appeared. When it was suggested that they might have to put on bikinis, the fear set in. I blamed, I don't know but I wish I had thought of it. I was still kicking myself for the missed opportunity when my alien with the right face black and left face white shows up with the right face white and left face black, Mhain and Millicent. "Death Match and you get to referee," Rio teased me. "I'm so jealous; 500 bucks on the one with the soul." Mhain glared hate at us while Millicent looked more than amused. "Zane, come with us," Mhain gloated. I figured that somehow my ordeal was coming to an end so I'd play along. I rose and they steered me to the largest exit, flanking me. Christina and Company grabbed their boxes and jumped up quickly to follow me, though they looked as confused as I was, confirming none of them were the architect of my discomfort. No sooner had we stepped into the cool, sunlit lawn than everyone's phone rang, except mine. I was loving this, right up there with having sandpaper buffing my sunburned abs. "Open the box and follow the instructions," Christina informed me. "Is anyone going to do this?" My phone vibrated once, then my whole body tingled before I could respond to the call. "I am," Mhain gloated. "I was promised something." She knelt and opened her box with enthusiasm; the others did likewise but at a more sedate pace. What came out of each box was almost identical, different only in the anatomical part of the body indicated by the instructions. The objects were all grapefruit-sized fur-balls that made darling little squeaks, squeals and murmurs, amongst other sympathetic noises, all in tiny little voices. They were to be placed on my body, but I didn't know how that would work. "Are we going to do this?" Chastity began to say. "It isn't sticky," Hope was also saying when Mhain's flew out of her hand and hit the side of my left knee. She reached out carefully to retrieve hers while the other girls circled in. The little darlings were proving to be resilient little bastards. Several more leapt at me from the hands of their owners. All this time the furry grapefruit were giving little 'wee!' noises when they shot at me and screeched like demons when they were removed, which was painful when they were on my flesh. I knew who was responsible and she was going to pay, but not right now. I saw my closest allies pulling back. "TLM, Christina," I sighed in resignation. "Let's get this over with." I was being totally self-sacrificial; girls were starting to pile-up on us coming out of the Dining Hall. I didn't want a riot. Mhain had technically tagged me first but not in the designated spot, so I had Christina go first, she put one over my heart, not that I thought Cordelia was stupid, but now she was just piling it on. Mhain went next and she was sizzling and excited, she put it on my lips, shutting me up. At least the girls were polite and organized enough to come at me patiently. A few didn't get the 'memo' and their little rug rats slipped out of their owner's grasp and got to play gleeful kamikaze as they plowed into me. It didn't hurt but I had this secret fear that the tiny terrors would sprout fangs and tear into me. These little guys were murmuring and mumbling and it wasn't until I was truly buried that a horrific realization was made, the more that were on me, the greater their clinging power. In retrospect, this would have been more useful if we hadn't passed the 700 mark. I looked like a puffy, overweight, Sasquatch baby. I could move but sitting down was a dream, as was running or going to the bathroom. The damn things wouldn't shut up either. It fell to Hope and Iona to hurry me (as much as possible) to Assembly; you know that place where I 'sit' in front. At least no one could ask me anything with the expectation of receiving an answer. I no longer wondered how bad it could get; I knew it would get worse, and while I didn't know how, I knew it would be soon. At the start of Assembly my little friends joined in the singing, not using words but in the tinny little noises they made, though admittedly they were enthusiastic and determined. But it gets worse. There was a discussion on stage after that fiasco about removing me. Chancellor Bazz wanted me gone; Vice Chancellor Scarlett was not in attendance but Virginia took up my cause. After all, it wasn't my fault, she claimed. "Well, Black, do something," the first three rows heard Bazz demand of our Head of Security. "I am not an engineer or a chemist," Black replied. "Do you want me to shoot them off him?" Oh, yeah, my girl Bazz wanted that, so bad. Of course, what she really wanted was for Black to miss, but that wasn't going to happen. Finally, the teachers decided to soldier on. When Chancellor Bazz stepped up to begin services, the frightening fur-balls belted out 'Hail to the Chief.' No one said a word, not a murmur. Chancellor Bazz stopped and the munchkin chorus stopped too. Two more starts later and she gave up and grudgingly took the 'praise' from my infestation. They were good throughout the message and sermon but took up 'Hail to the Chief' when she tried to leave the podium. "Do something!" she screamed at Black. This time, Gabrielle sedately headed my way. I didn't want to think of the pain coming my way. My little buddies had my back. When she got within five feet the all screamed, and I mean SCREAMED, in the loudest cacophony most of us present had ever heard. I saw something I thought I would never see; Gabrielle flinched. Not so oddly, I was fine, hearing almost nothing. The little guys on my ears soaked up the sound so I received a very watered-down version of what they were doing. Gabrielle fell back and at the five foot mark, the little guys shut up, mostly. They seemed to be making comforting noises to one another, like one Zane-sized colony of brown mold. "Get away from him; just get away from him," good old Doctor Melrose Bazz pleaded as she moved her hands away from her ears. "Braxton, you stop this right now." I had a wee beastie on my mouth and Bazz was not on the small list of people I would devour this thing for. If she's looking for a conversation today, she's out of luck. She throws her hands up in desperation and starts to storm off. My little cock-sucking furry gonads (yes, I was getting angry) fired up 'Hail to the Chief' yet again, and kept at it until she sat down. Virginia got to thinking it's appropriate to call for the end of this travesty but she's dealing with Cordelia Dresden, Top Gun of the Time Lord Mafia. The weapon of choice; 'She's a Lady' by some guy named Tom Jones, the ladies in my life will inform me about this later. For a half a second she tries to fight her smile but she surrenders, even letting the little guys go through the entire score before talking. The little tinny voices were humming a song I didn't know but damn it, it made me want to take Virginia out to a smoky Jazz club and dance until the sun came up. Virginia actually started tapping her foot to rhythm and I began thinking I might not be able to beat Cordelia. I'm not used to that sensation. "Okay, now, whoever is doing this has put Zane through enough and should remember that we should, as Christians, make students feel safe and not make them subjects of humiliation," Virginia addressed the student body. "I think we can end Assembly fifteen minutes early today for a little bit of Christian charity. We can do it at Zane's first class, 204 Denning Hall." By the way, I apparently have a play list. As Virginia headed back, the fella's changed it up with 'Baby Got Back'. I wanted to die. Virginia Goodswell has a truly fine ass, of this there is no doubt, I often compare it to Barbie Lynn's, but please. Virginia stopped, turned toward me with a dazzling smile and waggled her finger at me, then resumed her way to her seat. How is any of this my fault? I imagine I was lucky it wasn't the Thong Song. I would have died, then come back as the undead to take Cordelia to hell with me. It was with some relief that Vivian and Hope rallied to my side. They had to both keep other students away, the other girls loved poking me in different critters to make them call out in different pitches and tenors, which was pleasant to hear if you liked overdosing on helium. Surprise, surprise; no one came to my succor before English class. I couldn't sit down. Okay, I tried, but any part of my body that bent or that I sat on screamed bloody murder until I got off of it or stopped putting on the press. I've heard about girlfriends like this but I've always assumed I would have the courage to jump out of a 50 story building to escape. What do you do if they come with you when you jump besides basking in the vicarious thrill that comes from crushing half of them beneath you before you go? I managed to do okay standing in the rear of the class, only once giving in to the crushing fatigue of holding my arms somewhat elevated for two hours. The two under my arms were especially cooperative and didn't get too vocal when my arms did slip to my sides. I couldn't do a thing about the occasional girl twisting in her seat but either Raven's glare or Goodswell's cough brought their eyes forward once more. At the end of class, Virginia decided to call Ms. Black and have her take me to the Vice Chancellor's office to end this matter. Vivian and Mercy provided support while Gabrielle kept her distance and cleared a path. Rio helped out by playing my musical miscreants as if they were a drum set while some part of the 700 members of my new posse and I yelled at her to leave us alone. She really is my best friend. My tragically slow pace was not my friend and everyone had to depart for their classes before I finished the arduous travel to the Administration Building. Gabrielle's eyes measuring you for a casket is a remarkable motivator but didn't stop Rio from blowing a kiss to her "Mi Negro Naughtiness". I know, I know; one day, Rio is just going to vanish without a trace. "Ms. Reveal, I need an emergency meeting with the Vice Chancellor," Ms. Black requested of Doctor Scarlett's personal assistant. Ms. Reveal didn't miss Gabrielle keeping her distance from me. She did make the call and I noticed the pictures of Ms. Mittens were still in evidence. "Who are you inside that suit?" Ms. Reveal asked me. I guess she assumed I wasn't a real baby Sasquatch; I was really a baby Sasquatch disguised as a half-baked marshmallow. If three geeks and a man working beneath his means jump out at me with proton-packs, I am running for my life, which is to say 'I'm going to die.' "This is Zane. He is not being rude, he can't speak," Ms. Black was kind enough to cover for me. "Oh, I understand," Ms. Reveal nodded, but in such a way that expressed she didn't understand anything. "You two can go in now," she said several awkward seconds later. "Zane, you move as close to Ms. Reveal's desk as you can while I get the door for you," Gabrielle instructed me. "Come in when I call for you." I'm sure Marisol Reveal was curious as to why Gabrielle was dancing around me, trying to keep her distance. We almost made it; right as she made it to the doorway, Doctor Scarlett opened the door and attempted to see what the delay was. She was actually putting an award on a shelf she had just received, the reason she missed Assembly, if you find that suspicious, and was placing it on a shelf near the door. Gabrielle responded as any slightly unbalanced killer would do; she spun around, pulled out her gun from the unseen Realm of the Gods of War, and pointed it at the stunned Victoria. That took her one half-step too close to me and my little fellas let the world know it. I will give them this much; they were still defending my eardrums. By the way Marisol was holding her ears as her tears flowed down her face it must have been pure agony for her since I was right next to her. Gabrielle scoped up Victoria and sprinted into her office and they obediently shut up. "Za-, Zane, what was that?" Marisol blathered. Since the furry meatball gone bad was still on my lips and I hadn't become that hungry, I kept my silence. "Zane!" Gabrielle called for me. I did my best to shrug but it wasn't like I had a neck anymore so I don't know what she made of my movement. I shuffled to the door and got a few good squeaks as I moved inside. I was more than a little disturbed by the reaction I received from Doctor Scarlett when she saw me from her seat behind her desk. She looked at me and I swear, hand to my heart, she had an orgasm. "You are covered in Tribbles," she gasped. I had no fucking clue what a Tribble is but apparently, I was in the vast minority. I staggered forward and since Gabrielle was on the right side of the room, I angled to the left. I move halfway around Doctor Scarlett's desk so that Gabrielle could go close the door, where she took up post and, from what happened next engaged a Romulan Cloaking Device, whatever the Muggle-tech that is. Victoria was in some sort of dream-like trance. When she started stumbling around the desk toward me, I waited for the musical assault that never came. To my credit, I caught on in a second. If these creatures existed, singing wasn't their normal activity, and Cordelia wanted these little 'Squeaky Meals' to be as real as possible, for Victoria. I was nothing but bait. Victoria reached out to caress the same one Christina had placed over my heart. The little bugger cooed and Victoria clamped her thighs together to contain another orgasm that coursed through her loins. Cool, all I have to do to feel the wonders of Victoria Scarlett is dress myself in furry grapefruit. I'm kicking myself for not seeing this obvious ploy. She touches more and each makes a subtly different purr of pleasure. This goes on and on until she's cuddled up against me, her arms stroking over my back and rubbing her left leg up and down mine. "Vice Chancellor, you do realize Zane Braxton is TRAPPED inside those, contraptions," Gabrielle sounds the slightest bit peeved. The troops all make those little high-pitched notes of longing as Victoria retreats a few steps, bringing Victoria almost to the point where she launches herself back into me to comfort her little friends. I am second fiddle to a discombobulated guinea pig; sometimes a man can feel pretty small. "Okay. How did this happen to you, Zane?" Victoria asked. "He cannot talk; one of those Tribbles is attached to his lips," Black stated, "by an unknown force. Before you ask; I am not an engineer or chemist." Victoria made this adorable little 'o' expression, then reached for an offending Tribble. "It hurts him to remove them," Gabrielle got out just in time. "Does it hurt the Tribble?" Victoria inquired. Gee, thanks, Vic. "Hold your ears," Gabrielle commanded. Well, I couldn't comply, and Victoria had only started to scream 'stop' when Gabrielle materialized a knife and speared 'Diddley-boo' off my shoulder. I heard the little guy's death wail, then his death rattle, as Gabrielle pulled him/her away until she was out of screaming range. Diddley-boo? No, I have no idea what his/her name really was but I'm going to have ICE check his immigration status when all of this is over, wait, I can't do that; Gabrielle wacked the little snot and giving her up to the Feds is a great way to create many widows and orphans. Diddley-boo was still twitching erratically while Victoria was stuck between ecstasy and horror. "You are a Klingon agent!" Victoria gasped as she pointed an accusatory finger at Gabrielle. I am vaguely aware that they are the stock-villains of Star Trek Universe and this odd snapshot of rightly tight, athletic buns in tighter pants, but the reference memory for the scene escapes me. By the facial reaction Gabrielle gives, Victoria just called candy sweet, or jalapenos hot; she appreciates the comparison. All the surviving members of the Tribble tribe wept a cacophony of pain and loss. I would have had more sympathy if their moans had not been vibrating my body like a jello mold. "Romulan," Gabrielle countered; the other stock Trekkie villains, but they have better teeth. First amongst our Honored Dead, DB hardly quivers as Ms. Black dissects it. It bleeds/oozes and appears to be a living organism of some kind, but Gabrielle points to several electronic devices, a CPU, and wires connecting all kinds of things inside the organic body. "It is an organic husk over a sensory/auditory device," Gabrielle tried to explain. "Oh, my God," Victoria's mind worked feverish to defy reality, "they've been turned into Borgs." She tore the one attached to my lips off. I didn't cry like a televangelist publicly begging God for forgiveness for a moment, or 147 moments, of weakness with a rather sad-looking prostitute, but that was coming. You see, Victoria gripped her weeping diminutive fuzzy engine of humiliation tightly when she yanked it off, so she let go of it because the little blighter sounded hurt. It gave off a more muted and mournful 'wee' as it smacked into the corner of my mouth. I was able to dodge a direct hit. "Scarlett," Gabrielle seethed, "if, you, would, listen, for, a, moment; they are painful to be removed from his flesh and they will attempt to reattach themselves to him if they are brought within one foot. I have no idea why." "Zane, are you in much pain?" Doctor Scarlett inquired while scanning my body fungi. "Yes, but I'm sure if you kick me in the nuts, I'll feel better," I mumbled through a joke. "I can't do that," Victoria gasped. "You have Tribbles down there." Yes, I feel special. "That's it," Gabrielle snapped. "I'm going to get help." She spun around and breezed out the door, slamming it in her wake. "Thanks for abandoning me, Gabby," I shouted as loud as I was able. "It's not like Vic's totally lost her mind or anything like that." "I have not lost my mind," Victoria responded with a deceptively calm, soothing tone. She reinforced my calm by locking the door, then locking in the deadbolt, yes, I felt much safer. My merry band of orphan coconuts helped things along the cliffs of sanity by cooing and 'talking' to Victoria as she walked around the office, and she gaily responded to them. "Ms. Reveal, this is going to be a difficult intervention. Inform me when lunch time gets here," Victoria communicated to her assistant, then added, "I need a box of outdoor trash bags; leave them at the door." Having a hot lady like Victoria Scarlett lock the door and asking for almost 3 hours of 'alone' time with me is a mature pipe dream of mine, and that dream really meets a bloody end when she asks for roughly 30 bags with a fifty-gallon capacity each. If she pulls out a hacksaw or a 'cow-stunner,' I'm racing for the window behind the Doc's desk. I'll be gone in 90 seconds, sort of like an inexpensive microwave dinner. Doctor Scarlett returned to her desk, turned her spy-cam around, and started making calls. I honestly maintained a miniscule hope that she might still help me. She was talking curtly to another doctor whose name I didn't recognize. What came out of her mouth next sounded like a combination of eating raw meat all your life and gargling with sand regularly; add to that an inflection of someone wanting to kick elementary kids into the paths of oncoming busses and you had the language she was using. Victoria's stance even changed. She thrust out her chest, put her hands on her hips, and a predatory sneer took up permanent residency on her lips. She even beat on her desk hard during this little exchange before laughing in a way that made kittens piss on themselves before you hung them. "Vice Chancellor, Doctor Victoria Scarlett, umm, what's going on?" I said careful. I'm not so much terrified of Victoria at this point, as I am suspicious of my ability to fight at the moment. "Everything is fine, Zane," Victoria assured me. "In essence, I am bringing in some experts in the field. You can trust me on this; we've been expecting contact like this for years." Huh? "So, ah, that was an Albanian Biologist?" I hoped. "No, that was Vor' Dura, Flight Leader of the Blood Quasar Fleet of the Klingon Empire," Victoria explained sedately, in the same way any SANE individual described a Navy Commander. She turned her computer screen so I could see the person's profile pic. "How does she breathe in that thing?" I wondered. "That's one hell of a corset." "That isn't a corset, Zane, its body armor. My suit was created by the same armorer," she stated. "You have something like that?" I boggled. "Yes, the precise same suit. Vor' Dura is not as blessed by her bloodlines, she's shorter, but otherwise, we are identical; our alliance ended recently and soon she must face me in ritual combat; yield or die." 'Yield or die' isn't what is centermost in my mind. "Don't your boobs ever pop out of that thing?" Because if you have been paying any attention; I am an idiot where sex is even a remote possibility. Victoria can't meet my gaze but turns as red as her namesake. "On a few occasions," she confessed. I'm thinking 'a few'. "Now I have a few more calls to make." Yes, she's lost her ever-loving mind, and I have no reasonable expectation of exit or rescue. I won't be able to get up enough speed to bust out of the window so being on the first floor is meaningless. She has the deadbolt key and when I stack up my Tribbles against her Science Fiction fanaticism, I lose. She turns the monitor around and makes her next call. This one starts with the victory salute, but the one done with two fingers to each side. "Excellent news," Vicky declares. "We have confirmation of the temporal events from Deep Space Nine. I have compelling data that I have encountered genetic derivatives of the dominant herbivorous life forms of Iota Geminorum IV." And everything went to turkey-based insanity after that. Again, they spoke rapidly in a language I knew nothing about. They acted like giddy little schoolgirls, just schoolgirls with their emotions surgically removed. The final call went much same way except that this time, the tone of the language was like the second but with the taint of a sleazy pimp or grifter thinking she was a mob boss. These were the kinds of girls you never let babysit your kids if you ever wanted to see them again. The way Vic looked at me and the fellas made me worry about how long I could last in her brothel and inspired an unexpected sympathy for these pests. "Zane, do you promise to stay here while I, umm, get some, umm outfits?" Victoria requests respectfully. She realizes she's asking me a bizarre favor. Balthazar's Balls, I've been tied to a cross; how much worse can this be? She scoots up to me, kisses me chastely on the lips and waits. "It is a given that my morning class schedule is toast, and I'm no stranger to the entertainment industry so knock yourself out," I allow, but I will have to pee at some time." "Check; I'll stop by the infirmary and get a catheter," she nods, then she kisses me lightly on the lips once more. "Thank you for this, Zane." She's off like a shot but is careful enough to get the deadbolt on the way out. Since I doubt Ms. Reveal can get a fire-axe through the door if the building catches fire, my buddies and I really are going to experience total protonic reversal on a life-ending scale. Only now does it occur to me that these fuzzy navels might have toxic side effects. I'm waiting around for God-knows how long when I hear some muffled noises, more muffled than having a Tribble in my ear. Scratch, scratch, "Girl, you get away from that door," Ms. Reveal shouted (I guess). "Quick, Mercy, hold her back," Rio shouted in response. "This deadbolt is a bitch." A scuffle ensued and I tried to shout loud enough to call Rio off when I heard two rapid-fire thumps. "Thank you, Ms. Black," Marisol Reveal huffed. Mercy had put up quite a fight, I guessed. "I will formally press charges when the Vice Chancellor returns." "You will go and sit your ass behind your desk, you incompetent buffoon," Black snapped. "I will deal with this and if you bother me again today, or mention this incident to Scarlett, I swear you will never see your cat again; and if you don't hop-to in the next six seconds, I'll make an audio recording of me strangling that shit-dumper and play it by your bedroom window every night until you go mad. Do I make myself clear?" "Ugh," is all I make out, but I hear Marisol's chair squeak soon after. The sound of a body, or bodies, being drug off faded away as Black left the office and headed down the hall. Hell, I warned Marisol. I can't do anything for Rio right now and I don't have too long to ruminate. "Marisol, are you okay?" I hear Victoria ask her assistant. It is a testament to their bond that even the hysterical Doctor doesn't miss her friend's distress. "Sorry, Victoria, I'm a bit, umm, heart-sick is all," Marisol murmurs. "Don't you worry about it." "Well, when you want to talk about it, let me know," Victoria stated. Marisol must have nodded because no words were spoken and Victoria came in with two carry-on bags and three dress bags while kicking the trash bag box ahead of her. Happy fun time was about to begin. "Sorry for the wait, Zane," Victoria told me. "Doctor," I made a desperate Hail Mary plea for reason, "you are a highly respected educator. We really need to take a step back and re-examine what's going on here." "Zane, this is my first teaching job ever," she related as she checked on the progress of her 'Trekkie' Posse. "My doctorate is in Philosophy; my Master's Degrees are in Comparative Religions and Women's Studies," she informed me. "All my graduate work was done as a researcher. I've never had a student." I blink dumbly at her; and here I thought my opinion of the Board of Directors couldn't get worse. Victoria goes over the language dance with her friends, switching fluidly from tongue to tongue in a manner that impresses and even fascinates me; and I've been to Bangkok where if you are trying to buy and/or sell anything and don't speak at least ten different languages or dialects, you might as well hand them your wallet or purse and go home. "Who do we need?" Vic said in English (just making sure everyone knows that the Tribbles aren't suddenly translating for me). "Kar'Thon," Vor' Dura states eagerly; "This matter is a racial imperative." "Are you sure the young man is old enough?" The second woman inquired. "Jarrod went all obsessive last time a boy crossed our path. We almost sent the kid to college." "That's what you get for marrying a Ferengi," Dura snidely remarked, and the rest laughed along with it; meanwhile, I'm going 'a what?' Some infighting goes on until Victoria and 'I married a Ferengi' call for peace, then babble a little more. Then the name 'Zane Braxton' comes up and I'm not sure I'm happy or sad that only one of them replies in what was clearly elation and surprise, the sleazy one knows of me. "Zane, I need to surgically remove some of the alien organisms," Victoria tells me. "It is going to sting like hell," I mutter, to which Vor' Dura says something and sleazy girl laughs. I do not like where this is going at all. On the bright side, Victoria doesn't rip one off of me right away; she goes over to one of the dress bags and opens it up. She's pulling out bondage gear, oops, my bad; she's getting ready to put on Klingon body armor. I have lost all preconceptions of what I was dealing with once Scarlett began stripping in front of me. She even gave me an appreciative smile and I was the one who was doing the appreciating! The little fuckers started going off. Remember, they don't like being moved and I was moving some around at the moment. No, my legs and arms were perfectly still but my crotch was striking up a chorus, its Handel's Messiah. There was this 'still' moment where Victoria stopped opening her blouse and the three strangers regarding me through the webcam became mute; then the laughter began. Victoria resumed her stripping but she couldn't stop smiling and snickering slightly. The three, the Klingon uber-cook or whatever she was and her two unknown accomplices, were laughing so hard they could barely communicate. It got better; when I was fully aroused and stopped moving around my pants, they didn't shut up and I was suddenly, desperately searching my mind to know how long that song was. This was because Vic got down to her, Oh, fuck, this white thong, and calling it white is generous as it looks like someone stole an under-achieving spider's web and gently placed it over her crotch, and I know my hard-on was not going anywhere but into something before it went away. Victoria was working her make-up on when two of the voices got themselves together enough to ask something. Vic looked up at the web-cam, over to me, then said a few sentences. "So, which one of you likes your ankles placed behind your ears?" I politely asked in Thai. "What was that, Brax' Zane?" Victoria asked. "I'm curious if I can take your virginity with my tongue?" I continued in Thai. "I cannot understand you," Victoria said again. "What are, ah, " "I think we should engage the Federation citizen in the Galactic Basic," the second voice requested of the room. The third voice, the sleaze, said one more then in her native tongue, then the second voice, and Victoria jumped on her. "I said, 'I think the native is getting restless'," sleazy girl grudgingly repeated. "Now, I think we should see if our plan 1.0 can be implemented." "Before the scourges make themselves hoarse shrilling out the hellish noise or I lose patience, transport over there, and kill them myself," Dura growled playfully. I'm glad someone else was having fun. Victoria walked up and took a deep breath, which caused her well-disciplined, thirty-ish breasts to bounce tantalizingly close. Her look was desperately fearful yet almost childlike too. "Kar'Thon, I desperately require your assistance before these creatures drive me mad," I tried to sound masculine yet pleading. On the computer screen, Dura quickly slammed her right fist to her right shoulder; I was later to learn that was a salute. "This is no way for a Starfleet cadet to die," Victoria beamed at me, "even if I know I must someday slaughter you in battle." Whoa, I've never considered NASA as a career choice. Maybe Klingon bondage gear/standard uniform could change my mind. The first person to tell me university life is boring I will punt to the Moon. "I am T'Luminareth of the Vulcan Science Academy and Reserve member of the Starfleet Exploration Corps here," the second voice spoke up. I caught sight of a picture of her with this, troll? Or maybe a dwarf with the worst case of cauliflower ear ever. "I would like to assure you that every logical effort is being put forth on your behalf." "Is that right, Tight Luminescence? Is it going to kill you to show a fellow sentient an ounce of compassion when you know he is about to suffer a fatal toxic shock from prolonged exposure to these vermin?" the third girl snarkily interjected into the conversation. "I'm Hical Cretak, Romulan freebooter and purveyor of ancient, exotic, and misunderstood goods." "You are a thief, and since you aren't in some asteroid prison, you must be an above average one," I said to the Romulan. "I confess that I am a bit happier to see a member of the Vulcan Science Academy since, well, I'm suffering a splintered memory. Some things make perfect sense but large details are simply missing." I figured I could provide Victoria some good game. She began rubbing my crotch and there was an effect alright, two in fact. The simple and expectant one was my trouser titan trying to unchain itself so it could get revenge on all of Victoria's orifices for taunting him so. My torturous tiny titmice began belting 'Let's get it on' by Marvin Gaye. I think as an infant, I had a mobile playing this song in my crib. I started to really admire T'Luminareth's acting ability because she alone kept it together. Victoria made larger and larger circles over my crotch up to my beltline while Dura and Hical lost it hysterically. "Pssst," I murmured to Victoria. She looked at me and I darted my eyes toward her makeup kit and clothes. I am getting more clothes on her, why? Besides, I'd gotten a better look at her suit and it didn't have a butt-zipper that said 'Come Get Some,' but those pants rolled down like a candy wrapper and that 'body armor' has a back flap. I'd have to get Rio a set and I doubted Victoria would deny me her armorer's number. I was definitely looking into getting Mercy a matching Orion Slave Girl outfit, and here people don't think I make constructive use of my time. I was sure Victoria/Kar'Thon was breaking speed records to get herself ready while the other ladies began talking to me about a whole universe that was brand new to me. Getting three different and very conflicting versions of the rise of the Human-dominated Federation of Planets was amusing. Out of the blue, T'Luminareth decided she was going to create a team to rapidly move to my planet and take me back for further study. Vor' Dora countered that and Hical gleefully sought out salvage rights for the wreckage of the two expeditions. "That might not be possible," I intervened. "Some of what you've told me has fused some memories together." They all fell silent. "At Starfleet Academy, an Engineering Team and a select group of cadets," I continued to fantasize, "were directed to work on a, phased ionic drive." Ion drive was 'old' tech, or so Hical had let slip. "The drive failed catastrophically and we couldn't save the impulse drive, power was failing, we couldn't transport. The phased ionic drive detonated in the planet's atmosphere, creating a trans-harmonic disruption. I don't know if there were other survivors of our vessel. I saw another vessel either investigating our explosion or attempting a rescue but they burned up on their approach," I looked pained. "I don't think I could communicate with them and the only survivor I could locate was Kar'Thon." "Only a combination of our two vessels' technology has been able to punch a hole through the disruption and I'm not sure how long this effect will last." I now sounded grim but determined. "We probably need three things: We need to know if there were any special modifications to the Klingon Scout vessel because I don't think it was a standard model to get so close to an experimental Federation vessel." "Secondly, someone needs to pry out of Starfleet the precise specifications of that vessel, and that's definitely not me," I confessed. "Finally, we need to find a way to fuse those two designs together because if Tribbles are already being affected by an increased magnetic field, how much longer do we have before even the planet's magnetic field collapses totally and we fry (a SciFi movie plot, thank you)." Once more, there was silence and I was afraid I'd stepped way beyond my bounds. Only when I took in the masked facial expressions of Kar'Thon did I realize I'd done well. I was hit with the realization I was a word and a whisper away from having sex with her, she was so pleased with me. "I have friends at Starfleet Academy and they might be able to shed a light on what their cadets were up to," T'Luminareth stated serenely, but I could see a fire in her eyes. "I will research into every work published on Phased Ionic Drives, and we may be forced to work on a theory of what went wrong in case Starfleet is not forthcoming." "Not that I admit that the Klingon Empire ever had any such vessel operating in the area, Vor' Dura got out before Hical Cretak interrupted. "You have an officer on the damn planet, you cowardly idiot," mocked Hical. "I am a deserter," Kar'Thon declared. "I would say I was a 'scum of the Orion Colonies' but I found that you already claimed that title," she aimed at Hical. "You must die, you traitorous dog," Dura jumped on the offered plum. Thon/Victoria wasn't a deserter but she was ready to take one for the team, so to speak. "The Klingon Empire cannot allow your stain on our honor to exist. Now that we finally have you pinned down, we are coming to end you once and for all, and if the Federation insists on harboring a traitor (we were theoretically in Federation space) then, "I owe you a death, Vor' Dura," Thon seethed; "your death." "You may not enter Federation space," T'Luminareth insisted. "Before you two go to war, again, why don't you let me go in," Hical mediated. "I'm a free trader and have been to both Federation and Klingon planets." "You are a spy," Vor' Dura growled. "Being a successful agent doesn't make you any less of spy for your Romulan Senate," T'Luminareth seemed almost furious. "Unfounded rumors started by my, Hical almost finished before the Tribbles screamed. Not as loud as they had for Ms. Black, but they now didn't like Thon around either, now that Victoria was a Klingon. Cordelia scares me; this time Hical had the little 'hiccup'. "This is going to be fun," she chuckled, barely above a whisper. "I will get these vermin no matter how much they hurt the frail human," Kar'Thon snarled, but Victoria's eyes blazed with fanatic amusement. I was mildly curious if she could even respond to her true name but decided not to test that. She pulled out a rather wicked looking knife that I had to double-take to make sure it was plastic. The conversation went on around us as fictitious bits of data collided with innuendo, falsehoods, threats, and lies. This was roleplaying by some actors who took it as
In this special Halloween episode of Uncle Josh's True Scary Stories, we bring you a spine-tingling collection of real encounters that blend the darkest corners of humanity with the mysteries of the unknown. You'll hear unsettling tales of unpredictable, unhinged individuals, chilling brushes with real-life murderers, and ghostly phenomena that defy explanation. Each story is told exactly as it was experienced—raw, unnerving, and guaranteed to stay with you long after the episode ends.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/uncle-joshs-true-scary-stories--1977911/support.
Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 15 Chancellor Gets Boned In 30 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the podcast at Explicit Novels. The pursuit of power is pointless unless you know how to use it The look the Chancellor gave me was filled with hate alright, but it was awash in a desperate sexual hunger too. "You goddamn bastard," she huffed through clenched teeth. My response was to switch finger slamming her, instead rolling her rather large clit between my forefinger and thumb gently. "Gak," she choked out. "You can get on top and ride me," I promised her softly. "You an even tie my hands up with the sash of my robe." "On your back, damn you," Melrose snarled ferociously. As I fell back, she ripped my bathrobe sash off so fast it yanked me off the bed. My ass had no sooner hit the bed again when Bazz pulled my robe open and straddled me. She pulled my arms together and bound my wrists with frightening proficiency. "Not your first time at the rodeo?" I joked. She slapped me across the face; not so hard to break my skin but enough to make me have to rework my jaw to get it set again. "Shut up, Braxton," she gloated over me, "I'm going to treat you like the piece of trash that you are. You are going to regret ever thinking you belonged here." Mel rose up on her knees, maneuvered her hand onto my cock, and aimed it at her cunt lips. "Oh," she gasped as her sex blossomed and let my cockhead in. She slowly began shifting down my cock with ecstatic pleasure written all over her face. "It feels pretty good," I started to say. I was going to finish with 'doesn't it?' but she cut me off. "Shut up!" she seethed. "You exist solely for my pleasure. I don't need to hear your juvenile stumbling at sexual banter." This wasn't the time to start a fight; that would come later. Doctor Bazz kept wiggling her ass down my shaft. She was so lost in her own fulfillment that she almost forgot about me. I grunted when she planted herself down particularly hard as she was humping me. Melrose looked down at me. With one hand she struck snake-like at my throat, squeezing my windpipe shut. "You are just a child," she taunted me wickedly, but then her whole tone changed to a creepy, appreciative voice, "a pretty, pretty child." Okay, I want a psychopath. I want a selfish bitch with no issues beyond insensitivity. I do not want a woman in her forties telling me I'm "a pretty, pretty child." That's just wrong, and that's coming from a guy who screws just about anything that moves. "Is this how you screw those sluts?" she moaned. "Is this how you pack Heaven's tight little ass? Does she scream for you?" Wait; did she call Heaven a 'she'? That's progress! I choked out a non-response. I was getting enough air to breath but not enough vocal freedom to talk, and I had a feeling this was on purpose. "You don't need to answer that," she chuckled eerily. "I've heard reports of their sad little cries as they squirted all over you. You love it when you break their wills to you and this, oh, God, big cock, don't you?" The Chancellor leaned forward, her bra-covered breasts dangling tantalizingly close to my mouth, and rolled her hips so that her clit rubbed against my cock. "You hammer them, hammer them, and hammer them some more until their tight little bodies can't even crawl out of your bed. And you wanted to hammer me with this huge cock of yours; you wanted to make me sweat, make me cry out your name, you wanted to wreck me," she sneered. I reached up with my bound hands and lifted her grip off my throat. "Actually, I'm done. I want you out of my room," I growled back. Melrose's breast heaved and she glared down at me, angry but uncertain. "I was hoping there would be something intriguing about you but seriously, you are just, mediocre. Hell, Heaven is more of a woman than you are and that's kind of pathetic. I wasn't denigrating Heaven, who I cared about, but was using Doctor Bazz's prejudice against the bitch. "How dare you?" she muttered. She hadn't stopped humping me yet. "Get some plastic, a broom handle, I don't care, but get the hell off of me, you evil witch," I insisted. As a counterpoint to that, I began to thrust my cock deeper into her womb. "Ugh, ugh, no," she gasped. "You don't, tell me what, to do." Mel had now positioned her clit so that it received maximum impact with my pelvic bone. I flipped us over; even with her resistance, I was too strong for her. I pushed my bound hands down on her sternum, the fear of sexual frustration written large over her face and burning forth from her eyes. "I want Heaven back," I demanded. "Never," she growled. I began to withdraw my cock from her cunt. She whimpered and tried to hold me to her body by grabbing my shoulders in each hand. "Get off me," I insisted. "Get off of me. If you want some piece of meat between your thighs, go to an over-forties bar and pick up some Momma's Boy who will pop in less than fifteen seconds, then grovel at your feet for an hour like a worm. "It would be better than an immature punk like you," she struggled to insult me and my performance. I took three long strokes inside her, flexing my cock when it was at its deepest, thumping her G-spot each time. I could see tears of pleasure in her eyes. I tried to pull out the fourth time but she hooked her legs behind me and held my shoulders tight. "No," she persisted. "I am going to use you until I'm satisfied." Instead of wrestling with her, I pulled her up so that my hands cupped her ass, her arms remained around my shoulders, letting her kiss me, and her thighs and calves were wrapped around my waist. I bounced her up and down quickly, quickening her passion as each drop onto the fullness of my rod brought her closer to orgasm. "What?" she gasped, "Where are we, " "Outside, so that your security can see us," I explained evilly. "No!" she squeaked. "Heaven," I stated. She shook her head so I took two more steps to the cutback exit in the screens. "No, no," she insisted then as I took the next step. "Fine," she said in defeat, but hating me for it. "You can have her back for the short time she's still here," she seethed. "The Board will support my decision and that will be it for her, and probably the rest of you too." "Don't be bitter, Mel," I teased. "You've been good to me so I'm going to be good to you. How do you want it?" She glared at me so I continued talking as I walked us back to the bed. "You want to be slammed from behind, don't you? It is hard to get those girls you break down to do a convincing job of it, yet you miss being treated like a slut," I verbally prodded her. She'd gone over too fast to face down and ass sticking out for someone who didn't crave it. I gently lowered us down to the bed while keeping eye contact. "Take off your bra, then roll over on your hands and knees right here on the edge of the bed. She was torn; she had hold of me at the moment, but she really wanted to give me my grudge fuck. As she opened her shirt, I dove into her cleavage, kissing and licking. She purred hungrily even as she worked her shirt off and then her bra. While keeping up my torture of her breasts, I hooked her thighs with my hand and hiked up her legs until I had her splayed out, her knees pushed halfway to her breasts. I dove down to her muff and ravaged her clitoris and lips. Doctor Bazz squealed with surprise and pleasure. Right as my vaginal attention got to be too much for her, I yanked her ass over the edge, bent her farther over, and returned to chewing on her nipples. If she was upset that I wasn't immediately fucking her, she was doing a good job of hiding it. The next time I dove on her cunt, I kept my fingers on her engorged nipples, teasing to the point pleasure and pain collided. I tore up her cunt with a total disregard to patience and sensitivity. The Chancellor squealed, squirmed, and thrust against me without inhibition until she growled loud enough to bring any guards, had they been close enough. She hit her second spasm when I rushed one hand down to her twat and began to jackhammer two fingers inside her cunt, unrelentingly driving her eruption from crest to crest. When her eyes rolled back in her head, I released her, but only to move to my next stage. I'd promised her a good hard fucking after all. I took Melrose's hips and repositioned her so that she was face down, her knees on the edge of the bed and her legs dangling over. I knelt between her thighs and began licking her from clit to anus. A few passes into it, I sucked several of my fingers on one hand until they were really slick while working her cunt over with my other hand. I think she was a bit surprised when I pressed my first finger against her anus. As her sphincter gave way, Doctor Bazz finally spoke up. "Don't you dare," she moaned sensually. "Don't do this?" I teased her, as I sunk another half-inch into her rectum. "Oh, God, yes," she groaned like a wanton whore. I wiggled in a little farther; Melrose gasped and shook her big ass in my face. I pulled the finger, she whimpered in need, and I went back to assaulting her cunt with my tongue and teeth. "Put it back," she panted. "If I put it back, I'll have to use two fingers," I informed her. Mel coughed in response. I obliged her quiet acquiescence by teasing her anus once more. "Ugh, bastard," she grunted. It started out angry but transformed to sexual in mid-vocalization. I worked my two fingers in slowly, I didn't want her to scream and I'm basically not a sadist. I also ameliorated the pain by slipping my cock back into her cunt seconds later. I developed a slow rhythm, picking up the pace incrementally until she was really taken aback the moment I bottomed out in her womb, tickled her cervix, and twisted my two fingers 180 degrees in her anus. "Oh, God," she moaned. I began fishing through a list of affections until I found the one that bit - 'Gorgeous'. That word bit into her psyche and I decided to use it. "Oh, fuck, Gorgeous, you are so damn sexy," I whispered to her. Melrose coughed, then growled. I took the moment to lean on her back and cruelly grab a breast and begin to aggressively maul it. "Oh, God, yes!" she exulted heavily. "You are a filthy-minded, little, huge damn delinquent." "And you finally got me to ream you good, didn't you?" I responded. "Play, play all you like," she groaned, "but I know how to break you, now." 'Yes', I thought back, 'but I know you want something too.' About this time I was pretty sure there was no possible way I was getting away with this. I had fucking silk screen walls, for pity's sake. Chancellor Bazz was equally sobbing and cursing into my sheets. One second she was encouraging me to pound her harder, I obliged, and the next second she was telling me how good it felt. I will give her this much; the old bird had a lot of sexual frustration to work out and I was her instrument. Having this game go on and on certainly wasn't going to work so I had to figure out what I could do that I wasn't already doing and what would turn her on. I didn't like my answer. I reached down and took Melrose by the back of her head and pushed her face deeper into the bed. First she moaned louder and then her body started to tremble as she thrust back harder. When the suffocation set in, she struggled to rise but I was too strong and pressing her down with too much force. The Chancellor reached back from her vulnerable position and tried to push me off and remove my hand holding her head down. She became more and more frantic, undoubtedly fuelled by her own sense of rage upon the world and mirroring my own hatred of her as my motivation. Her last explosion of air was a scream into the bed. A fear-fueled orgasm overwhelmed her with her whole body going rigid, then lurching about. Now that I'd gotten her off, I let go of her neck, going so far as to grabbing her shoulder and pull her up for a desperate breath. I withdrew my fingers from her ass and my cock from her flooded cunt. Melrose lay boneless on the bed, dazed and incoherent. I put my fists on either side of her shoulders and leaned over my tormentor and victim. "You damn near killed me, you bastard," she moaned heatedly. "Was the orgasm worth it, knowing this might be the last thing you feel in this life?" I whispered to her. "Don't answer because your body told the story already. As much as you hate me, you loved putting everything on the line like that." "Shut up," she wheezed. "You know nothing, Child." "I know you are lying face-first, mostly naked, on my bed, freshly fucked, covered in sweat, my cock resting on your open, inviting ass with your legs spread wide for me, Doctor Bazz. I know I said that the next time we met I was going to fuck you like I owned you, and I think I've done that." "I am, going to, break, all of your girl, friends," Melrose ground out. "We will see who owns who when this is over, Mr. Braxton," she gasped once she'd finally calmed down and she could take an unlabored breath. As I slowly got off of her, she gave out one last sigh. "Remember your promise, Chancellor," I cautioned her. "I remember all kinds of things," she snapped back. Doctor Bazz resumed a standing position but was polite enough not to kick me when I helped her get her panties back on. "Let's not do this again," I cautioned the Chancellor. "If we do, I'm going to have to tie you up and abuse all three of your holes all weekend long." "The only 'next time' will be my last time using you," she growled. "You didn't let me finish, Mel. Next time, after I've got you warmed up, I'm handing you over to Rio who, trust me, will be a lot less compassionate than I am. Like you, she's got some anger issues to work through," I grinned. "Thank you for putting her back on my radar," she sneered back sweetly. "I'm not too worried, Mel," I replied. "You are a pretty smart woman. You know that with Rio, the pain and risk of permanent harm isn't just play. She'll be looking forward to making you beg for your life." The expectant smile she shot my way chilled the soul. God, can't you give me some not-so-crazy women to deal with? For once, he gave me a reply by way of a sudden insight: try not to solve every problem with my cock and appreciate the sane women who do spend time with me. Doctor Bazz moved past me so I gently stroked her ass. "Done?" she snarled while looking straight ahead. Her anger was betrayed by her hardening nipples. "Yes. And I apologize, Chancellor. I was only thinking about your arms bound behind your back while I pounded your cunt at the same time as Rio slammed you from behind," I said softly. She rotated her gaze to me, lust and hate warring across her countenance. "Every time we are alone together, Melrose," I breathed into the side of her face as I rubbed a hand down from her stomach to her crotch, "I am going to have to check out how wet you are." Her hand flashed down and stopped my progress. "Or would you rather I check you from behind?" I added as I ran a hand down her rump. "Fuck you," she sighed. "Is that an invitation?" I teased. This was killing me inside. "Just remember that next time, you are getting that dildo rammed up your ass." "Damn you," she seethed once more. "I have to go before security suspects something." Like they didn't all know precisely what had been going on? How dumb did she think they were? Without another word she strode out of my bedroom into the main area. "What have you found?" she questioned the guards. Of course they had found nothing damning. They had to be suspicious of all the TVs and computer stations without internet hook-ups but no one mentioned a thing. "This was a colossal waste of time," Melrose said in an exaggerated display. "Let's go." Doctor Bazz led the way down the stairs but stumbled on the first step. The last guard in line smirked at me. "Do you miss Dana much?" I inquired quietly. "And how," she rolled her eyes. "Tonight was a total bust. Anyone with half a brain knew you expected a raid tonight and would have everything stashed somewhere else. All this overtime is good for my paycheck but I'd kill for a good night's sleep." "Oh, you are preaching to the choir, ma'am," I chuckled, "preaching to the choir." I went back to my room and lay down. Sleep did not come easy. I knew that the Science Club's cameras had recorded the events of the past half hour; I just had to figure out what to do with them, besides get Heaven back. Rolling Off the Bottom I had grabbed a shower around 2:00 so I wasn't really surprised that a dozen feet came running up my steps at 6:15. I was barely able to prop myself up in the bed when Rio came storming in. "What's up, dude?" she said as she plopped down. "Planning to forgo cleanliness?" "I showered earlier," I told them. Valerie, Iona, Opal, Brandi and Barbie Lynn all came in and sat around me. Barbie Lynn was the first to clue in that something was off. "What's wrong, Honey?" she asked with concern. "My room was raided last night," I answered. It wasn't the total truth but I wasn't sure how I felt about my actions with the Chancellor the night before, much less how my friends would take it. "Well, you are still here so they didn't find anything, so what is it?" Opal prodded. "Ladies, can I keep this plan to myself?" I requested. "Of course," Iona responded. Sadly, she seemed to be the only one who appeared ready to let the situation lie. "Don't make us get all CSI on your ass," Rio teased. "You know we'll eventually figure it out so you might as well tell us." I studied her for a few seconds. "I ass-raped the Chancellor in order to get Heaven back," I told her in a dead-even tone. It was an empty joy to see that most of them realized too late they really didn't want to know after all. "What did she say?" Barbie Lynn came to my rescue. "Are we getting Heaven back?" "She promised me, and I have reason to believe she'll actually honor it," I replied. "Well, Rio finally kicked in, "How was she?" "Why do you think I took a shower earlier?" I pointed out. "I've never used sex that way and I pray it never happens again." "Don't beat yourself up over this," Brandi consoled me. "You did say that being young means you get to do stupid shit?" I don't recall using those exact words but still, "I think we can agree to not talk about this outside of this room," Opal added. "So do you know of any Thai Sexual Cleansing ritual that will help you get over last night?" Brandi grinned mischievously. I chuckled. "We'd love to help," Barbie Lynn chimed in. "Thank you, ladies," I smiled, "but I think I need to get my head on straight before diving back into the pleasurable side of this school. I need to know if I did the right thing or not." On that cheery note we all began to move toward the stairs and out into the world. In the stairwell Valerie cornered me, put a hand on my chest to impede my progress, and motioned to me that she had something to say. "From the discussion in the Chancellor's office Monday I get the feeling that Heaven is a girl-guy, shemale, what have you; right?" she started off. I nodded. "You clearly like girls but you are real close to Heaven; right?" Val continued. "Yes," I replied. "So you risked something you love, namely, the pleasure you derive from sex, to save her; right?" she prodded. "Yes," I sounded curious. "Then you did the right thing," she concluded. "Zane, I'd kill for the people I love and I imagine you would too. What's death compared to a little rough sex with an evil controlling bitch to get her to release someone as close to you as Heaven appears to be?" "Thanks, Valerie," I grinned. "My heart knows you are right but it is going to take my mind a while to accept that. I guess I'm over-thinking things." "Happens to the best of us," Valerie joked, then punched me in the arm. "Let's catch up with the others before Rio does something stupid, okay, does something more stupid than normal." We were halfway through breakfast when I noted a diminishing of noise from the south entrance of the hall. Being taller than the average female student, I was able to make out the cause of the disturbance. I catapulted out of my seat and raced for the lady at the door; I had the vague impression I wasn't alone. I rushed up within a few feet of Heaven, who had dropped her bags and looked at me with fear and expectation. I didn't want to overwhelm or embarrass her so I pulled up short to make sure the moment was special. I'm an idiot!! Rio slipped past me, grabbed Heaven's cheeks, and planted a deep kiss full of longing on MY GIRL's lips!! "Oh, Babycakes, I've missed you so much," Rio panted passionately to Heaven. "Ah, thanks, Rio," Heaven said, "but if you don't let go of me right now, I'm going to strangle you with your own intestines." Heaven untangled herself from Rio, shot a look my way, then rushed into Christina's arms. Rio smirked at me. The rest of Christina's crew swarmed around Heaven and rejoiced at her return. I took a step back to give them some room. I did note Chancellor Bazz glaring at me from the head table. I looked back to catch sight of Dana Gorman giving me a lopsided grin from the door Heaven had come through, a McDonald's bag in hand. I missed Heaven's arm slipping through her knot of friends and pulling me in. She pressed her body against me and looked up into my eyes. "I want you inside of me so bad," she whispered. Why can't a woman look at me and say "I've missed gazing into your eyes" or something romantic like that? "How about we get Heaven squared away in our room before Assembly?" Christina suggested. "We'll get her bags," Hope volunteered. "I'll come too," I joined in, but Chastity quickly put a hand up. "No, you don't," she smiled. "We'd like Heaven to actually get to Assembly." "There is no Assembly today," Iona pointed out. "Great, I can go straight to Zane's room," Heaven beamed. "I don't think we'll mind the company," Paige announced. I was suddenly left trying to figure out how she'd appeared next to me in this crowd, as well as how my arm ended up around her waist. "Holy Hell, Paige," I hissed. "You are going to give me a heart attack if you keep that up." "It isn't worth it unless you pay the price," she teased me. What the hell did that mean, 'pay the price'? Heaven balled up her fists and I was sure blood was about to be spilled. "Paige, we need to figure out what you are wearing to the party this weekend," Valerie intervened. "Party?" Paige sounded intrigued. Valerie edged Paige away and the situation defused. "Heaven, unpack," I began. "Iona, round up the Coach and get her to our place." "Barbie Lynn, could you and Alice watch over the door to make sure we aren't overwhelmed by non-freshmen?" Alice had been standing on the periphery and was clearly stunned that I was addressing her in this manner, but still rapidly nodded and looked to Barbie Lynn to gauge her perception of the request. Barbie Lynn gave her 'replacement' a smile and motioned Alice away from the group as well. "Alright, everyone," Doctor Larson spoke up, "finish breakfast and then back to your rooms. We are still under twenty-four hours of restricted travel so I do not expect to see any of you again until lunch. Please get about your business. Lastly, I expect some of you will be called before the Board of Directors to give testimony or receive a verdict on your status here; make yourself ready and presentable." "Mr. Braxton," Doctor Topaz Larson fixed me with a deadly eye, "that will require you to remain fully clothed most of the time. Do you understand?" "Of course, Doctor Larson; I'll do my best," I swore. "Sweet! That means I get to run around naked!" Rio exalted. "Ms. Talon, are you taking your anti-psychotic drugs?" Doctor Larson said deadpan. "Nope; I've been slipping them into the Chancellor's tea," Rio grinned all crazy-like. "Do you think anyone has noticed?" "If you want to take credit for the past two weeks, by all means do so," Topaz allowed. "I was looking for a cheap and sleazy way to be despised by everybody, she began, but I headed her off. "She'll stay in clothes and we'll make sure that all her pills are changed to suppositories. I know she won't miss any of those," I taunted my friend. "That may be for the best," Doctor Larson snorted disdainfully, but ruined it with a grin. She turned and strode back to the table. I wasn't sure which one of us the Chancellor hated more; Doctor Larson for keeping order or the rest of us for obeying. "Okay, I'm going to the bathroom. Heaven, can I hope to see you once you are squared away in your room?" I asked as I hugged her once more and headed away. I knew the questions would come soon enough. One aspect of a women's college that guys might not appreciate is that there are only stalls in girl's bathrooms, and since FFU has a grand total of two men's rooms on the entire campus (Administration and Athletics), I was always using a female facility. I was about to finish business, the standing-up kind, when my door rattled as someone tried to get in. "Excuse me?" I inquired. "Let me in," hissed my visitor. Since I clearly knew the voice, I zipped up and unlatched the door. She pushed in and latched the door behind her before pushing me down and straddling my lap. "You did, Heaven kissed me ", something." Kiss, kiss. "Christina says it had to be you who got me back." She went back to kissing me. "You are my girlfriend, Heaven. I don't know what I wouldn't do for you, Babe," I told her. She nestled into my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. "You make me feel so alive, Zane," Heaven related in a soft vulnerable tone. "Don't get all romantic on me," I teased her between light kisses on her lips. "I've got a whole bottle of Viagra showing up at noon and I need someone to work all that sexual energy out on, and, okay, I missed you." She wiggled into a more snug fit in my lap. "Did you miss me more than Barbie Lynn, or Paige?" she teased. "They aren't you," I countered. I ran my right hand between us, worked up her skirt, and began rubbing her package, which was clearly straining against the strap-down. Heaven began moaning, then slowly rolling her body against mine. "Come on," she panted, "let's have a quickie." "Can't happen," I whispered. To prove my dedication to my statement, I ran my left hand around her hip, under her skirt, and to her covered ass. I pressed a finger between her ass cheeks until I pressed against her anus. Now I was massaging her front and back. "Oh, God, you bastard," she sobbed while she rocked back and forth. "We really need to get going, though," I sighed. "Bazz will send someone after us soon enough." "I, Gurr, I owe you, Zane," Heaven groaned. "You stood by me. Damn, you fought Gorman by yourself for me and somehow you got me back. I know I can be a horrible person but you've always looked past that and saw who I could be." "I could continue being a jack-ass and say that I looked past your horrible personality to that luscious ass but I think I'd rather remind you that I chose you to be my lover and no one else," I smiled at Heaven. "Your lover, she murmured happily. "And you are my bitch," she tacked on that bit from our sexual encounter in the Kappa Sigma closet hardly one week back. We still managed to stand up and get the door open before Ms. Marlowe came in quietly. She frowned at us while we grinned at her, cleaned our hands, and walked past her back to the Dining Hall. Restructuring We sat outside in the hall opposite the main Administrative conference room. There weren't a ton of us; the individual class presidents plus Heaven, Rio and myself. Christina and Rhaine shared the Senior Class spot. "Drink run," I volunteered. "Who wants what?" "Zane, if they call for you and you're gone, it will be big trouble," Christina pointed out. "If I stay here one more minute, I'll strip off my clothes, paint myself blue, and streak across campus," I grinned piratically. "Sprite," Heaven spoke up. A series of orders followed and I hurried off. Upon my return, I handed Rhaine (last in line) a Doctor Pepper, which caused her to give me an odd look. "I didn't ask for, she began muttering. "Nah, but I always see you drinking the stuff so I figured you could use one," I told her. "Ah, thank you," she responded with a cautious smile. "If it makes you horny then it was my idea too, Rhaine," Rio leaned forward so Rhaine could see her and smiled. "Is she hormonal, dropped on the head as a child, or what?" Simone Brady asked the group of us. She was the Junior Class President and nominally a Rhaine supporter. She'd asked for and received a Sunkist. "Tie me up in your room and we'll find out," Rio licked her lips at Simone. "Isn't that supposed to be the other way around?" Heaven quizzed Rio. "No; Simone looks like a slow learner and I don't want to scare her off on our first date," Rio leered. "Now you know what I went through," Rhaine explained to Simone, who sniffed in derision. "Hey, I don't know this crazy woman at all but even I can tell she's playing with you two," Hannah Cartwright, Sophomore Class President, rolled her eyes. "How about we all try to remember we are all here to save our school?" Christina interrupted. The conversation had died down to nothing when Rio nudged me. "There's this old guy coming down the hallway and he looks like he knows you," she whispered. I looked up and my heart nearly stopped. I'd fucked up even worse than I thought. "Uncle Josh," I said weakly, as I stood and faced him. "Dude, I thought you said your family was dead," Rio continued. "Technically, that would be true," the old man rumbled, "and you would be Rio Talon. I'm Joshua Coppersmith, old family acquaintance and the Braxton family executor." "The last time I saw you I was being placed on a plane to Thailand," I stated somewhat bitterly. "It was part of your father's will, Zane. He was my boss and the son of a friend so I owed it to him to trust his judgment concerning his only child," Uncle Josh explained. "I recall wanting to stay with you," I reminded him. I recalled crying a river of tears, hoping to stay. I actually knew who Josh was, where Tim and Jill were virtual unknowns. "A normal life is not allowed for everyone," Christina spoke up; "Past battles and all." I hate being beaten with my own words. "That was one of your father's favorite sayings," Uncle Josh said. "I am glad to see you living by it. Thank you, Ms. Buchanan." She nodded politely. "Who is this old geezer again?" Rio interjected. "He was a close personal friend of my grandfather. They turned the company from a tired little mining concern to something a bit more. He mentored my father and they worked side-by-side when granddad died. Now he sort of runs thing until I inherit," I outlined. "That is somewhat correct but not why I'm here. I could hardly miss the past week's activities here at Freedom Fellowship University. As the child of Victor and Jenna Braxton, I owed it to them both to let Zane sink or swim on his own. As the future head of the corporation I work for, I need to make sure he doesn't end up in prison," Josh clarified. "Dude," Rio scoffed, then came to my side, "your boy went to jail last week. Where were you then?" "Ms. Talon, I do not have spies watching his every move. By the time I became aware of the matter, it had been resolved," my pseudo-Uncle responded. "I seriously suggest you get a 'minder' for Zane," Hannah Cartwright weighed in. "He's a real nutjob." That assessment would have angered me more had I not seen everyone nod in agreement. Instead, I went for the redirect. "You've been in contact with Aunt Jill?" As far as I knew, Jill despised every aspect of my Dad's life. "Zane, Jill has never handled more than two hundred dollars her entire life; of course I'm keeping an eye on her, and you," Josh stared at me. "I carefully monitor both yours and her finances." "Seriously?" Christina asked skeptically. "He bought a warehouse full of furniture and that didn't appear to you to be frivolous?" "Frivolous would be renting a private jet and a penthouse for a weekend in Las Vegas. Since Zane can't use eight sofas, I made the educated guess he was buying them to help out his dorm mates," Josh countered. "It is a pleasure to meet you, sir. I'm Rhaine Ritchie, Senior Class President," Rhaine jumped in. "I am curious as to your purpose here. Are you here to take Zane away or are you going to help him stay here?" "President Presumptive," Heaven growled. "That's good to know," Josh nodded, "and I'm here to represent the corporation's interests, in this case, avoiding embarrassment to the company's executive branch." "If you want an embarrassment, you don't need to go any further than Heaven," Rhaine insinuated. "She's my transgender girlfriend and we have rocking sex," I blurted out to preempt Rhaine. Heaven's eyes flew open; Joshua looked totally nonplussed. "Did you buy her in a Manila slum?" Josh asked me dryly. "Ahh, no?" I stammered. "Oh, that's alright, then," Uncle Josh mused. "I mean, once I had to fly a fourteen-year-old Tanzanian princess back to her home and explain to her parents why she and Victor weren't really married." He looked at Heaven, "Besides, she's clearly an adult and we could do far worse with photo opportunities." "His father dated his share of actresses and models before he settled down and I have every reason to believe Zane will be just as much trouble before some woman steals his heart and reins him in," Uncle Joshua related. "Too late," Rio snickered, but I cut her off with a painful elbow to the ribs. "Ow!" "That would be me," Christina stood and declared proudly. Josh looked her over. "Little lady, I hope you have patience, iron resolve, and the will to exert them both in equal measure," he informed her. "I am not sure I want him yet," Christina retorted. "Ah, then you are intelligent as well," Josh smiled. "Please make sure that if you do marry, you don't murder him until you have a child. Otherwise, the inheritance will be a bear. I like Jill but she comes from a family of nitwits," Josh continued. "That won't be a problem," Rio grinned evilly. "Zane's adopted a daughter since coming to FFU." "Iona is not my daughter," I snarled at Rio, "but I could do worse than making her my heir." Instead of being shocked, Josh rolled his shoulders. "I'll get the paperwork to you next week." "Are you sure you want to do that to Ms. Beckett?" Christina asked me. "Who else would be saint enough to deal with Rio if I was gone?" I explained. "Just for that, you get to wear the ball-gag and restraints next time," Rio warned me. "Mr. Coppersmith?" an attendant from the Board meeting asked when she poked her head out of the conference room. Her eyes flitted from me to my 'Uncle', locking on him. He nodded and followed her into the room. "Umm, he looks like my first husband," Rio mused. "I'm sure his wife, children, and grandchildren will take to that without protest," I joked. "Fine; I'll settle for being his mistress," Rio sulked. The Inquisition "Okay, I am missing something," Rhaine spoke up. "What is going on, Zane? Now that you know Heaven is a guy, how can the two of you still be going out together? You are not gay." "Rhaine, I already knew about Heaven before we actually had intercourse, though I admit to being attracted to her before then," I responded. "But, he's a guy. What do you do?" Rhaine wondered out loud with a quizzical look on her face. "Rhaine," Christina chimed in, "what kind of sex do you think Zane has been having with all the women he takes to bed? He's not taking their virginity, after all." "Oh, that's sick!" Simone declared. "Simone, have you ever had anal sex?" Rio grumbled. "God, no, that's gross," Simone said indignantly. "So what was it like when you walked the Dolorosa?" Rio queried. I was pretty stunned Rio even knew what the path that Jesus took to Golgotha was called. "What? I've never been to Israel," Simone answered. "I bet you'd like to go and I'd bet you think you'd like it," Rio grinned. "Yes, I would want to go, and I know it would be spiritual, but this has nothing to do with homosexuality being wrong," Simone struck back. "Listen, you stuck up bitch," Rio kept grinning, "Jesus was a pretty smart Son of God so we would assume if something was really important to him, he'd have brought it up before the Romans gakked him. Seriously, how long does it take to say 'homosexuality is wrong; no more butt-sex'?" Rio beamed vile unpleasantness at Simone. "You are an immoral soul," Rhaine jumped in. "If that is how you want to describe someone who is honest, fearless, and who thinks for themselves, then I guess Rio and I are both immoral souls," I defended my best buddy. "Count me in," Christina raised her hand. "Me, too," Hannah and Heaven joined in our little heresy. "Hannah, how can you go down the same way they are?" Rhaine complained. "Heaven is gay and Christina has lied for her since the beginning; Rio is a criminal; and Zane is, a boy." "Listen, Rhaine, I don't claim to understand what is going on with Heaven and Zane but I figure if God is pissed, he'll let them know," Hannah stated. "In the past two weeks, short of dodging you and your enforcers, I haven't known Rio to do anything wrong. She's served her time so we should forgive her and give her a chance. St Paul started out persecuting early Christians before he saw the light. What would have happened if Jesus hadn't given him a second chance?" Hannah sighed. "How could I do less?" "And Zane, face it, he's eye-candy, and I've got a list of ten different things I want to do with him when my time to have him for Handmaiden's Duty comes up," she finished with a grin. "Just once I'd like to have a girl here tell me I'm smart, or funny, or that I have a nice personality," I griped. "But No, it is always 'he's got a fifteen inch cock as thick as his forearm; he can screw for two hours straight; or that I have a prehensile tongue that can tickle the ovaries and bring a girl to multiple orgasms." Simone and Hannah's eyes grew larger as my gross exaggerations persisted. "It's not fifteen inches long," countered Rhaine decisively. Simone missed it. "How do you know how big it is?" Hannah clearly didn't. "I, Rhaine choked. "I was coming out of the shower when Rhaine, Joy Jefferson, and Mercy Chaplain intercepted me. My towel accidently fell off and she got a brief view," I volunteered. Rhaine's look of surprise became one of veiled thanks. "Because it wasn't like Rhaine wanted that massive piece of meat rubbing between her legs until she cried out in ecstasy or anything like that," Rio teased. "That's enough," I cautioned Rio, and put an arm around her waist to pull her in. That calmed things down until we were all called into the meeting. Uncle Josh was sitting against the near wall. Against the North wall sat Ms. Lane and a dark-haired fortyish woman with reading glasses I didn't recognize. They both were taking notes. On the South Wall sat a different woman, early thirties with short black hair and what I could best describe as a casual lethality. Both new women looked over us newcomers but lingered on Christina, Heaven, and myself. Looking at the eight men on the Board of Directors was rather anticlimactic comparatively. "Ms. Ritchie and Buchanan, we have decided to uphold Chancellor Bazz's decision to annul the last election of Senior Class President. The matter will be decided during Freshman elections in October. We find both of your behavior to date this semester to be deplorable and a sad example to your fellow seniors. Do you have any comments? Ms. Buchanan?" "Directors, what do we do if the Chancellor once again annuls the elections?" Christina asked. "You appeal the action to the new Vice-Chancellor, Doctor Victoria Scarlett," the head of the board directed our attention to the woman sitting with Ms. Lane. As if my life wasn't hell already. "Oh, you would so do her," Rio whispered to me with her insane grin. I was so busy praying that no one heard her that I missed Simone being read the riot act next. She'd be facing re-election in a few weeks too, a fact she was distinctly upset by. Hannah was given the same news but her reaction was to flick her hair over one shoulder and give a bored sigh. "What was that, Ms. Cartwright?" the Head Director grilled her. "Reverence, Purity, Integrity, this is what our school supposedly stands for," Hannah faced the man down. "I can vote and fight for my country but you are treating us like children, Sir. The Chancellor was wrong and we fought back against her tyranny because that was the only choice our Christian moral code left us." "It is hardly Christian to physically attack your fellow students, Ms. Cartwright," he shot back. "I didn't tell any of my class to attack anyone but I admit that I punched two girls who I knew attacked other students," she admitted. "I figured it was time for a little Old Testament 'Wrath of the Israelites' kind of thing." "Your intransience is not encouraging," a different man on the board stated. "I apologize, Sir. I was hoping my love of justice would not be misunderstood," she sighed. "Hannah, I'm voting for you as my class president," Rio leaned forward and addressed Hannah. "You can't, Rio; you are a freshman and I'm a sophomore," Hannah grinned back at her. As far as I could tell, this was the most either had ever said to the other. "Obviously you've never heard of gerrymandering and ballot box stuffing," Rio snickered. "This is neither the time to joke nor a subject to joke about, Ms. Talon," the Chairman said crossly. "Sorry, Sir," Rio beamed. "I wasn't trying to be frivolous; elections are a good thing. I'm all for seeing more of the girls here, to see them get excited and come together for their mutual enjoyment, I swear I do." While that seemed to satisfy the Board, Hannah had to look down at her lap and Heaven developed a sudden coughing fit. "Um, um, Vickers, umm, you represent quite a quandary. We suspect you lied on your application to this school three years ago and you absolutely understood you would not have been admitted if you had been honest with us," the Chairman of the Board declared. Heaven shivered so I took one of her hands while Christina took the other. Our motions were noted but I doubt the three of us cared. "Now, Vickers, we could deal with this matter if you would submit to a medical examination," he continued. "Why?" Christina replied. "Is every other applicant to this school required to do the same?" "No other student has their gender called into question," a third board member informed us. "She is not going to go along with this blatantly discriminatory policy," Christina retorted. "If I may," Doctor Scarlett raised her hand. After a moment the Chairman nodded. "Mr. Braxton, as a man and someone with a confessed familiarity with Heaven Vickers, would you assert that said person is a woman?" "She's more than woman enough for me," I quickly answered. "Since it is clear that I have the lowest moral threshold in this room, it isn't going to make anyone think less of me if I attest that I've seen Heaven naked and she's got all the girlie parts I like," Rio threw her soul into the struggle. Heaven virtually froze up at that declaration. "Are, are you saying that you've seen Umm, Vickers naked?" the second director stuttered. "Dude," Rio scoffed, "we have communal showers here. Seeing a girl naked is hardly a rare occurrence. Since you seem like a kindred kinky soul, I'll let you know that I've seen Heaven under the sheets and I can give that body my pseudo-lesbian seal of approval." "Have you had homosexual relations?" the Chairman gasped. "With Heaven, definitely not," Rio swore with an upraised hand. "As for anyone else, what does it matter?" she joked. "You already think I'm a whore." "You should watch your language," the third director warned Rio. I put my hand on her stomach to hold her back from saying something that would only make it worse for her. "To the bitter end," she winked at me. "To the bitter end," I smirked back. She was taking one for the team; drawing off the discussion about Heaven by shocking the Board. Unfortunately, I wasn't alone in seeing that. "Mr. Chairman," Doctor Scarlett addressed the Head of the Board, "perhaps we could return to the agenda if you want to stay on schedule." "Very well," the man allowed. "Umm, Vickers, this matter isn't over but since we do not have conclusive proof about your gender, your application will remain under review." "Thank you," Heaven replied softly. "Don't thank us," the man spat. "Your deviancy will reveal itself soon enough. Evil can never hide from God's Truth." "God is with us," I glowered back. I wasn't winning any friends on the far side of the table. "Your time is coming, Mr. Braxton," the Chairman retorted. "Ms. Talon, we find it miraculous that you haven't racked up more infractions in your short time here. Now, your parents and this board agreed, upon your admittance, that you would live with the strictest discipline and you've attempted every trick in the book to circumvent those intentions." "They did this to me on purpose," Rio moaned over the revelation of her parents' role in events. They'd given the Chancellor and Dana Gorman carte blanche in dealing with Rio. "Nothing has changed," I whispered to Rio. She turned and looked at me with tear-brimmed eyes. She nodded once in understanding. "A special guardian will be assigned to see to your physical and spiritual security," he continued. "Who?" Rio questioned quietly. "Administration will decide on who is most appropriate," he responded snidely. "Now for Mr. Braxton." "I would like to say how much we appreciate you ladies and gentlemen taking time out of your busy schedules to deal with matters here today," I interrupted. I earned several glares for my effort. "Mr. Braxton, you are an unfortunate aberration that should never have been allowed to happen. All disruptions that have happened in the past few weeks can be laid at your feet," he opened with. I raised my hand. The man opened his mouth to continue but seemed annoyed with my gesture. "Yes, Mr. Braxton?" "Sir, how did you come to this conclusion? I'm one guy, and a freshman at that," I countered. "You are the man, of course," the Chairman snorted. "It is only natural that the women of this campus would follow your masculine authority no matter how unfounded and perverse." Wait, did he just call every woman in this room mindless sheep? "Still, we are caught in the same quandary that left you here in the first place. Since we have already isolated you in a Solarium, you will also be assigned a guardian," he grumbled. "Oh, okay," I shrugged. "What happens to Dana Gorman?" "Ms. Gorman has been terminated," he shrugged back. "But it wasn't her fault. I'm no fan; she did knock me out during a practice session once after all," I pointed out. "She is good for this school, though." "We have a new Head of Security and the Athletics Department is being suspended for the rest of the semester," the Chairman informed us. "That would be the neo-fascist in black at the end of the table," I directed my attention to the lone woman on the south end of the table. "Ending our sports programs would be a serious mistake for the morale of the school. Ms. Gorman has done a bang-up job and it would show real concern for the students at this school if you would keep her on as Athletics Dean." "Ask around to any of the hundreds of students who participate; ask Rhaine, she's worked closely with the Coach before," I begged. I had no idea which way Rhaine would jump but she was the only trump I had to play. The big guy didn't seem inclined to listen to Rhaine but that didn't stop her. "Coach Gorman gives every girl an active outlet for our energy," Rhaine volunteered. "She also allowed the reliable elements of the student body to aid with security. It was a shame that Zane's masculinity unbalanced the school populace; the student body does not blame her for what Zane and Christina did." "She should hardly be rewarded for such a catastrophic loss of control," the second director stated. "Reinstating Coach Gorman as Athletics Dean would save us the need for creating new creative programs to provide for the physical well-being of the girls," Doctor Scarlett suggested. "This is a matter for the Board to discuss," the Chairman announced. "You students are released to return to your dorms. Thank you for your attendance. Mr. Braxton and Ms. Talon, you will be assigned your guardians before you arrive at breakfast tomorrow." We took that as our clue to leave. We made it out of the room and almost out of the building. "A moment, Mr. Braxton, Ms. Buchanan," the short-haired woman called out. I turned and met her while the rest of the group slowed down behind me as we started to exit the building. "I'm Gabrielle Black, your new Head of Campus Security. I thought it was important to meet you before classes formally resume." She stepped up and shook Christina's and my hand while we studied her. "You may call me Zane," I offered. "I hope this means we are getting off on the right foot despite that whole neo-fascist thing." "I don't see any panty lines 'Gestapo' Black," Rio interjected herself. "Have you gone commando today?" "I usually make someone earn the right to find out, Ms. Talon," she gave Rio a shark-like grin. "I really don't see how that is relevant and I really don't want to know," Hannah spoke up. "Come on, Zane," Rio persisted, "give it a shot." "Hannah doesn't want to go there so why don't we say good-bye to the nice lady and go," I responded. "What exactly is Ms. Talon asking for?" Ms. Black inquired. "Apparently Zane has a thing for figuring out women and woman's lingerie," Christina said with a degree of caution. "I hope Ms. Cartwright will forgive me but I'd like to test this little trick," Gabrielle requested. "If Hannah doesn't mind," I asked the sophomore class President (sort of). She nodded so I looked to Gabrielle. "Give me a second," I requested. "What's wrong, Zane?" Rio wondered when I didn't immediately start reeling off the facts. "She's good at lying," I informed the group, "but, " "But?" Gabrielle smirked. "Lycra, form-fitting, probably a custom job, dull black, and I guess, with some sort of synthetic weave," I stumbled along. "I've never seen anything precisely like it." "I have," Simone muttered. "A woman in the Presidential Detail for the Secret Service talked about having o
Get ready for another chilling collection of true tales in this episode of Uncle Josh's True Scary Stories. Listeners share bone-chilling encounters that will make you think twice about the world around you. From disembodied voices whispering in the dark, to a bizarre creature lurking on a lonely back road, to the terrifying experience of a creeper Uber driver, and more—you'll hear firsthand accounts that prove the scariest stories are the ones that really happened.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/uncle-joshs-true-scary-stories--1977911/support.
The forest holds beauty, peace… and sometimes, terror. In this episode of Uncle Josh's True Scary Stories, we dive into chilling encounters from listeners who've had terrifying experiences while camping and hiking. From shadowy figures lurking just beyond the firelight, to strange voices deep in the woods, to late-night stalkers creeping through campsites—these real accounts will make you think twice before zipping up your tent.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/uncle-joshs-true-scary-stories--1977911/support.
On this episode of Uncle Josh's True Scary Stories, the chills run deep. One listener recounts a terrifying night when a session game with a Ouija board spiraled into an encounter with something dark and demonic. Another story takes us to a brush with pure evil—a chance meeting with a notorious serial killer. And that's not all…you'll also hear more spine-tingling tales of encounters with the unknown, close calls with real danger, and moments that prove true horror isn't confined to ghost stories.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/uncle-joshs-true-scary-stories--1977911/support.
In this chilling episode of true scary stories Two for Tuesday, we hear three unsettling tales that might just keep you up tonight. First, a fun ghost hunt brings more than what people bargained for. Then, a routine food delivery turns into a terrifying experience for a DoorDash driver. And finally, Uncle Josh shares an eerie story from his childhood, growing up in a house where things were never quite normal—and where some questions still don't have answers. Lock your doors, check the windows, and get ready for another episode of real stories that are anything but ordinary.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/uncle-joshs-true-scary-stories--1977911/support.
In this chilling episode, Uncle Josh brings you the very best of true scary ghost stories—real encounters with spirits, haunted houses, and unexplained phenomena that defy logic. From shadowy figures lurking at the foot of the bed to eerie voices echoing through empty rooms, these terrifying tales come straight from those who lived them. Whether you're a skeptic or a true believer, these stories will make you question what really happens when the lights go out. Turn off the lights, put on your headphones, and prepare for a night of ghostly terror.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/uncle-joshs-true-scary-stories--1977911/support.
Josh Winters The RV Nerd Josh Winters is part of the Bish's family Of RV Dealers across the country. This is from Josh's YouTube page and sums up what he does nicely. Hey everyone! I'm Josh the RV Nerd and welcome to Bish's RV! I began my journey into the world of RV'ing in 2009 when I began working for my family's business at Haylett RV. There I learned a great deal, started this channel, and began showcasing RV Reviews, Tips, Insights, and News into the world of RVing and the Industry in General. Our family made the choice to join with the team at Bish's RV at the end of 2021 & are now able to bring you expanded coverage and information on nearly every RV brand out there while continuing to bring you those tips, insights, and industry news & happenings! So if you would like to learn more about RVs of all shapes and sizes from some midwestern dadbod dude cracking dad-jokes all day, then you're in the right place! So take care, stay safe, have fun, and Happy Camping everyone! -Uncle Josh, the RV Nerd And here is what we learned from the show. Josh has a High Level of energy as he brings you information all about RV's and it was no different during the show. Check out his YouTube channel. Trust me, it is worth it!
Welcome to The Garden Party! A weekly Podcast About All Things Gardening! Hosted by @TexasGardenGuy https://beacons.ai/texasgardenguy Phil D'Angelis @Philsfigs https://philsfigs.com/ Deserae Lindsley @GardeningwithDezz https://linktr.ee/GardeningwithDez?utm_source=linktree_profile_share --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thegardenpartypodcast/support
CLICK HERE! To send us a message! Ask us a Question or just let us know what you think!What if a simple visit to an antique store could ignite an unexpected passion? During a rainy day adventure, we uncovered the captivating world of phonographs, transforming a chance encounter with a Victrola 11 into an exhilarating hobby. Join us as we explore this newfound obsession, alongside insights from seasoned collector-dealer Wyatt Marcus and the New Jersey-based duo, Joe and Tracy. Together, we'll uncover the allure of these vintage marvels and the magical community that surrounds them.Our journey through the phonograph landscape is one filled with romance, restoration, and the rediscovery of early 20th-century life. Experience the joy of bringing forgotten machines back to life, with Tracy's meticulous focus on reproducers and Joe's passion for mechanical repairs. From navigating auctions for the perfect Edison Standard to the camaraderie of FaceTime repairs with fellow enthusiasts like Wyatt, our adventure is as much about the people as it is the machines themselves.Let us transport you to the Edison National Historic Site, where Edison's legacy comes alive, not just in technology but in the stories told through the records we play. Embrace the charm of Uncle Josh records, and find yourself captivated by the histories each disc holds. Whether you're a seasoned collector or a curious newcomer, this episode promises a heartfelt exploration into a world where history, technology, and community collide in the most enchanting ways.