I Can Complain

The economy has begun to affect my trivia night prize table. And, we used to hire people for jobs they had no qualifications for, or business actually working, so of course AI was going to replace them. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.TEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

I encountered Mr. Peanut in the deli section of Kroger's when I was four years old, and I'm still not over that. Also, Jeffrey Epstein could be working at a Dairy Queen in Iowa. And, I still refuse to buy a boneless couch. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.TEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

I'm going to a Super Bowl party where the host likes Applebee's. And, there's been a tragady at the Olive Garden. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.TEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

Bad weather is expected again, and I've been told to prepare for certain death -- but that doesn't scare me because I'm flexible. Also, an update on the salami situation. And, there's a brand new sport for people who can't run and like trash. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.TEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

Jessica's live from the patio with weather updates as an ice storm arrives. Also, there's a man, a man who supposedly leads the free world, who I'm going to need to see master the Etch a Sketch to restore my faith in him. Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

Hello everyone, and welcome to the I Can Complain podcast. We've been defeated by Amy Poehler and her podcast 'Good Hang' for 'best podcast' at the 83rd annual Golden Globes. I can't do better than Amy. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

ICE is one big sausage party of should-be mall cops, and I'd like to introduce some broads from Jersey into the mix. Also, Dean and Matthew are still trying to help me, and it's reaching a breaking point. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro is out of a job. There's a sizeable amount of people who survive solely on the Chili's Triple Dipper. And, for the low price of $100, I'll get in a car with anyone. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

I discovered a boneless couch, and in an all-time ICC rant I'll tell you why I ain't sitting on that shit. Also, I'm going by a new name in 2026. And, robots are playing basketball now, which isn't good for anybody. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

We're downgrading the podcast, find out what that means for you. Also, Jessica and I exchange Christmas gifts. And, I came to a hard realization in the car today that has me feeling old. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

It's almost time for Santa Claus to come down your chimney. Also, Jessica's back at the tree farm in Indiana pimping trees at Dick's. And, being able to get a Wendy's baked potato through the drive-thru is a humbling experience. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

I'm back from my Disney on Ice experience, and I'm ready to divulge what I saw. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

Jessica is live at a Christmas tree farm outside of Indianapolis to tell us how to pick the perfect tree and get us in the holiday spirit! And, the Secretary of Transportation wants us to dress up and wear jeans when we fly -- I'll tell you why that could be the reason you die in a plane crash. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

Jessica and I pull off an elaborate heist to save Thanksgiving in this tough economy. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

The clerk at the gas station said I told her I was going to quit smoking, which doesn't sound like something I'd ever say. Also, my Honda Civic is single handedly responsible for global warming. And, the US mint stopped making pennies last week to save everybody $6. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

I was abducted by aliens this week, and because of that, now I have dry ass cheeks. Also, why the hell would anyone in the government actually want to end the shutdown? Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

I survived a mass extinction event and went as a dinosaur for Halloween. I found my most prized possession: a trophy I bought when I was ten. And, what the hell happened to trick-or-treating in complete darkness? Enjoy.09:45 November 3rd*New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

It's my birthday, and I'm a tyrannosaurus-rex now. I'm no longer human. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

I've been walking around smelling musty all week. I'm standing on BK business. And, find out why there's never been a better time to be fat in America than right now. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

To celebrate Chris Columbus Day properly, I went to Columbus, Ohio, and spent an evening at a hotel and ate at Buffalo Wild Wings. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

The Riyadh Comedy Festival has started in Saudi Arabia, and comedians can't wait to get their hands on the blood money. Also, my phone battery might kill me. And, I'll be cleaning gutters in the Midwest this week. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

I bruised my sternum in my sleep. I need a new mattress. And, I went to a baby shower this past weekend and was forced to face my mortality. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

When I was a young boy I excelled at funnel ball on the playground at school. I finally reveal what my recipe was in the Global Cookbook. And, Fall has now officially arrived and Jessica's coming back inside with the burn barrel. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

I'm not a very knowledgeable man. The WNBA playoffs start September 14th, and YouTube is desperate for me to watch. And, I bought the manager's special pork at the store because "Big Pork" told me to. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday (because the trains run on time here). If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

We correct a mistake from last week's show -- and now Jessica sleeping outside again. My phone's algorithm is convinced I'm a BBQ pitmaster. We relive the time my roommate ate a chicken carcass by moonlight. And, why the hell are so many kids being picked up from school in cars? Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday (because the trains run on time here). If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

It's Labor Day 2025, and that means fall is in the air and football concussions are back! I spent a fortune on a soda at Four Guys. And, Chuck E. Cheese was arrested for theft in Florida. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday (because the trains run on time here). If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

Jessica starts the show by herself because I'm stuck in traffic. Do trains actually run on time? The world is going to end in 25 years according to experts. And, we continue to unearth evidence that I was in special-ed classes and they just never told me. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday (because the trains run on time here). If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

The salad bar is one of the greatest psychological tricks ever played on humans. I dare to ask the question: Who the hell lives at a hotel full-time? And, we discover a few new recipes from the Global Cookbook, all of which were pirated by children off the internet. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

I believe I have the worst office chair to ever exist. I unearthed some horrible recipes from my childhood. And, as the price of hamburger reaches record highs, we check in with ranchers in San Antonio to get to the bottom of it all. It's an instant ICC classic today. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

I'm still dreaming of joining a gang. I'm still eating Italian ices to get through the summer. And, Jessica is live from the 2nd annual company picnic, that was once again planned for a time that I can't attend. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

There's convicted felons selling meat out of a truck near me. I won big at the lottery. And, it's too hot to yield for pedestrians. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

Ozzy Osbourne has died this afternoon. I had to fight an old woman for a ribeye steak. And, find out why it's fine by me for parents to leave their kids in hot cars. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

We were promised a 10,000 hour summer blockbuster about the man with the island, but we haven't seen shit. And, my plan to defeat mother nature this summer has already failed. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

Summer 2025 is over — Halloween is here. I was involved in a car accident with a man who was too nice. And, China has cyborg bees, and they're on their way! Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

The annual Independence Day hot dog eating competition is a lovely disgrace to this country. I haven't seen anyone drink a glass of water since 1997. And, Texas is looking to label junk food as 'not safe for human consumption' -- like that's going to stop us. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

I'm very likely going to die alone in a state run facility. I have one big regret about my life. And, this new war just isn't doing it for me. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

Managing a nuclear arsenal must be very similar to managing a buffet. I rented a car and got upgraded to a Mitsubishi -- that ain't right. And, I'm thinking about squatting on land in the Midwest. Enjoy.The Bear: Season 4 premieres Wednesday, June 25th, at 8 pm exclusively on Hulu.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

Israel and Iran are not being nice to each other. It's looking like an ICEy summer. And, the plan to replace migrants workers with children in Florida really devalues the work. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.in the four years I've been doing this I don't know if I've seen a worse pop culture/news week. we'll go a different direction next week if this keeps up.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

Elon Musk and Trump are no longer sleeping together. Somebody had to tell you the truth. And, the boys in the National Guard are invading southern California, because they can. Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.in the four years I've been doing this I don't know if I've seen a worse pop culture/news week. we'll go a different direction next week if this keeps up.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

The grocery store seems like an innocent place, but you won't believe what they're trying to sell me now. And, it's time for our first installment of john's financial hour, which lasts about 6 minutes, and might lead to an arrest. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

I was told to resist drugs and violence growing up, but one of those things is a hell of a lot of fun. The only thing I can afford to eat, evidently, has arsenic in it, and will kill me soon. And, if Saudi Arabia wants to bribe our president, they're going to have to step it up a little bit. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.This episode is dedicated to the boys in the Ohio Valley.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

I will be voting for a gang member next presidential election. I can no longer afford to eat. And, hate always wins. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

I need the new American pope to install a McDonald's at the Vatican and lift the curse put on me by a 93 year old man!! If you didn't see your mom for Mother's Day -- you're probably out of the will. And, you shouldn't blame a kid for wanting to work for the king of chicken. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

It's 2025, and there are no more deals to be had. Bill Belichick has moved to North Carolina to enjoy getting sucked off in retirement. And, migrants are being paid $1000 to leave the USA. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

Jessica built a rocket and prepares to go to space live on the show to honor astronaut Katy Perry. I saw a homeless man in a dress, which left me wondering, where the hell is the love? And, chicken is fighting back and giving us cancer. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

Occasionally I'll say something that gives off the impression that I'm an expert, but in reality I don't have any idea what I'm talking about. My phone algorithm knows I'm going broke before I do. And, I bought a family size box of Nutri-Grain bars, which was a good thing -- until they pissed me off. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

Getting high in the backseat of your car can solve a lot of your problems. Also, evidently, they used to rent mules, which sounds like a bad business model. And, Jessica brought me Arby's to celebrate episode #200. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

If your house didn't flood this week, then your 401k is probably down 40%. I saw a six-year-old who looked about 65 years old. And, I don't want to get sentimental. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

I've noticed nobody ever offers to share their crack cocaine with me. My local Honda dealership is 100% employee-owned, and I don't like that. And, Florida is taking steps to put children back to work! They'll be roofing in 100° weather this summer! Enjoy.* It does appear Bozeman, Montana, has a Ruth's Chris steakhouse.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.comTEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

Buying a Cuisinart 12 piece stainless steel cook set dooms you to a life of being middle class. Astronauts are poor. And, is pimping actually easy? Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.com/TEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE

I reminisce about the days when I had illegal satellite. I believe I may have discovered a way to prevent many mass shootings. And, there's one breed of dog I have a big problem with. Enjoy.New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast.https://www.icancomplain.com/TEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE