PeakConnection

It's no secret that there is a global maternal mental health crisis. One of the most challenging aspects of motherhood (maybe in addition to mothering during a global pandemic) is finding time for yourself.  While this podcast focuses a lot on the importance of human connection with others, perhaps the biggest piece of that human connection puzzle is the ability to connect with ourselves. But what happens when that piece gets lost in the shuffle of pick-ups and drop-offs, coordinating play dates, and packing school lunches? On this episode, we talk with one of the founders of Surf Moms Anna Shoemaker about why we should be focusing on creating mom groups centered around mom instead of baby, finding something you love outside your family, and building a village that not only helps raise a child but also supports maternal mental health. "I wish I could speak to myself after having my second kid, and just say, ‘Let it go, stop trying to hold everything together, go ask for help.' And I might even go a step further and say, ‘What do you love?' And go try and do that. ...You're going to connect with somebody inevitably because we're hardwired for it, and you're going to slowly train your brain to normalize that for yourself, to normalize chasing that passion, that thing that you love." --Anna Shoemaker

Living with chronic illness is not just battling physical pain daily, it's also managing the mental load that comes with fighting a mind-body connection constantly on the fritz. On this episode, we talk with the hosts of The Chronic Sisters Siân Gannon and Jess Swanson about navigating life with multiple chronic illnesses, coping with the disappointment of our bodies habitually letting us down, and learning how to love something despite the pain and grief it causes because of the joy it brings us.Sian Gannon: My body has tried to kill me many times, but it's also healed me and gotten me through. And the experiences that I've had is because of my body and I'm amazed by it and I'm trying to actively learn how to love it. And it is a process.Jess Swanson: I have to love my body because it's the only one I've got. And unfortunately, I can't sit in the dark and think, "What if?" All the time. And if I was to do that, I would not be the nurse that I am able to be now. I would not be the dancer that I am, despite the pain. And I would not have the connections that I have with people, if I lived in that. So, I don't like my body and I have to realize that I have to love it because it's all I have, but it's acknowledging that I can still love it and not like it all the time.Ways to connect with The Chronic Sisters: InstagramApple PodcastsLinktreeAudio Engineered By: Blaise Douros

The smart phone era has ushered in an age where everyone carries a camera in our pockets. So why aren't we happy with the pictures we take? On part two of this two-part discussion, we talk with psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker Heather Monroe on the impact selfies and social media have on our overall mental health--especially in teens. Hear why anxiety and depression is on the rise and what habits we can change to help prevent it. "So [teens] are no longer comparing themselves to an image of someone else who might look like them, but a little better in their mind. They're comparing themselves to a morphed version of themselves and thinking that that's what they should look like. 'If only I looked like that, then maybe I would be enough."' --Heather Monroe 

The smart phone era has ushered in an age where everyone carries a camera in our pockets. So why aren't we happy with the pictures we take? On part one of this two part discussion, we talk with photographer Blaise Douros and plastic surgeon Scott McCusker on the ways camera lenses filter our perceptions of reality and consequently the rise in plastic surgery. Blaise Douros: "We have embraced a device that inherently distorts our images, the images that we see of ourselves every day... There are a lot of things that you can do in Photoshop that have absolutely no bearing on what reality is."Scott McCusker: "... we are constantly bombarded with unrealistic images. Our mind's eye gets broken by it. And people's sense of what they look like is being distorted because they only see themselves in altered Snapchat images. People's ability to know what an appropriate body looks like is destroyed. It's a really big problem, and not one that I can fix by any means. This is one that really is way bigger than any of us, but I think that awareness of it is important."Mastering Medical Photography of the Head and Neck Audio Engineered by: Blaise Douros

Like many things during Covid, maintaining regular diet and exercise became increasingly difficult and most of us picked up a sourdough-making habit along the way--consequently we gained a few pounds. And while we survived a global pandemic, working from home (sometimes while simultaneously running Zoom school), we've forgotten all of the hard things we overcame and have instead decided to focus in on "The Covid-15." On this episode, Justine Underhill, Chief Program Officer for Edgewood Center for Children and Families, discusses why disordered eating is on the rise post-pandemic, how we can choose to shift perspectives individually and culturally, and how we can better support each other along the way. "Be a critical thinker of your own thoughts and beliefs, and take a look at the fact that you did just survive a global pandemic. You may have protected your family from getting sick. You may have experienced and survived the loss of loved ones in your family. You may have worked from home while parenting your kids. I mean, whatever you went through, take a look at that part, and see if you can appreciate the fact that your body took you through that.  ...is the fact that I gained 15 pounds while doing that quite at the top of the list of importance?" --Justine Underhill EDM, LCSWImportant Links: nationaleatingdisorders.orghaescommunity.comAudio Engineer: Blaise Douros 

One of the most common parenting traps parents fall victim to is trying to “make” their kids happy. But happiness is only one feeling on a spectrum of colorful and complex emotions, which together make up the human experience. On this episode, Rachel Duffy, entrepreneur, author, and  Certified Conscious Parenting Coach, discusses why parents should stop focusing on making their kids happy and instead be present, while allowing their kids to experience everything.“Nobody wants their child to go through pain, but here's the thing, pain, emotional pain, difficulty, challenge, that's pretty much a guarantee in life. You cannot have life without those things. So our choice is either to resist them. There's a whole set of emotions and suppression, and anxiety that comes with that, or we could say, 'No, let's go through it together in community, in relationship.' This is how we grow and this is how we evolve in a more conscious way in my opinion.” --Rachel Duffy Ways to Connect with Rachel: https://www.instagram.com/rachelduffyhere/https://www.sagacitylab.com/linkshttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/unscrew-you/id1558240208Audio Engineered by: Blaise Douros

Self-optimization has quickly become a new fad diet we're rapidly consuming--one that is more harmful than helpful to our mental health. On this episode, writer, educator, influencer, and Toronto-based therapist Jake Ernst discusses the problem with the constant pursuit for perfectionism, the business of positivity and its impact on our self-worth, and the critical role social media plays in prioritizing self-optimization over self-love, self-compassion, and collective care. "...self-optimization usually looks like self-care. It looks a lot like, "Oh, I'm taking care of myself." When really we're kind of engaging in a lot of really probably unhealthy patterns or a lot of unhealthy behaviors. All with maybe the goal of, "I want to perform better. I want to do better. Or I want to know more." But oftentimes self-optimization in the long run has this negative or harmful impacts. And so I'm more pro-improvement and more pro self-care than I am like self-optimization." --Jake Ernst Ways to connect with Jake: https://www.mswjake.com/ https://www.instagram.com/mswjake/?hl=enAudio Engineered by: Blaise Douros 

As a social species, we're wired to process our emotions collectively. Arguably, human connection is our greatest resource for processing and tolerating difficult emotions. So, what happens when a social primate is subjected to long periods of social isolation? On this episode, Dr. Maggie Stagg discusses the role human connection specifically plays in our ability to cope when life gets hard, the impact the social isolation of Covid-19 has had, and how we as a species can choose to move forward together. “Fight or flight is supposed to happen for short duration of time, it's not supposed to happen in a chronic state. And so all of us are sitting there more in a survival state versus a nice homeostasis, baseline state. And so, of course, you're not able to do the things, tolerate the things that you once were.” --Dr. Maggie Stagg, Psy.D

There's been a lot of buzz in the media about the mental and emotional impact school shutdowns have had on parents and students, but very little attention paid to the impact on educators. Prior to Covid-19, the educational community has been struggling to retain teachers and attract new ones. Now, more than ever, classrooms are in crisis. On this episode, Cristina Buss, a principal at a continuation high school in Davis, California, discusses the mental, emotional, and financial load teachers have to carry, how the stressors of the pandemic have revealed societal breaking points, and why some teachers are leaving. “I have learned, in my time as an administrator and especially this year, that focusing on keeping teachers--I wouldn't even say happy; I would say sane, alive, mentally stable--keeping teachers okay is one of the most student-centered things you can do, because if teachers are not okay, the students are not okay.” --Cristina Buss 

Children in particular have proven their resiliency time and time again throughout the past 13 months. However, as the world slowly turns back towards normal and schools reopen, they're finding themselves relearning how to maneuver social interactions with peers and educators, and consequently a new series of mental and emotional stressors. On this episode, Dr. Christine Garcia of the Edgewood Center in San Francisco discusses how to navigate the return to in-person instruction, social anxieties, and how parents or guardians can help support their children. "[Kids] are absorbing and watching you and taking their cues from you. So prepare yourself too for the level of transition that they're going to have to make and how that might be on their minds a lot. Because, kids want to do well. They want to be happy. They move towards growth. And so this is for many kids, a hopeful time of going back to what they knew, but it's also scary because they've been away from it for so long." --Dr. Christine Garcia Additional Resources for Parents Needing Support: Crisis Stabilization Unit (CSU), Edgewood: https://edgewood.org/crisis-stabilization/415-682-3278Trevor Project:www.thetrevorproject.org1-866-488-7386 Crisis Text Line:Send a text to 741741www.crisistextline.org

Therapy is always a good foundation for overcoming any emotional or mental roadblock. But sometimes it's not enough. We find ourselves still holding onto tension, frustration, anger, and anxiety in our bodies, which can leave us feeling more fatigued than ever before. As a trained dancer and the founding member of ROWDY, a unique new online dance fitness platform, JR Jones discusses the importance dance in particular plays in establishing a mind-body connection and allowing us to finally release feelings too heavy for us to carry.  She also shares how movement specifically is interconnected to allowing for deeper emotional understanding not only of ourselves but those closest to us. "I think humans must have invented dance because they needed it. We must have needed a bigger way to celebrate our victories and mourn our losses. I believe movement helps us notice what we are feeling. ...Our body always has clues to what we are feeling. I believe movement helps us observe what we are experiencing and feeling. It builds awareness, and awareness leads to better understanding of self and others, which obviously develops better communication." --JR Jones

As humans, we're creatures of habit. We're also social beings with a deep need to be connected to one another. So, what happens when habitual social creatures fall into ruts?  Often, conversations become superficial and leave us feeling that our relationships are lacking in substance and sustainability.  It's an issue that's only been further compounded by technology--specifically social media. Entrepreneur, creator, and the co-founder and CEO of the award-winning company BestSelf Cathryn Lavery discusses how  to reconnect to others on a human level by using prompt decks. She explains why her carefully curated set of tools allows people to break through the algorithmic version of their daily lives and into deeper, more vulnerable connections. "I think now more than ever, we're more connected than ever, but also more disconnected as people from each other. ...we as people need to connect with other people and other things to get meanings. Well, meaning is a big part of the human experience. I think one thing with technology that we've lost almost, is creating these experiences with real people." --Cathryn Lavery Audio Engineered by: Blaise Douros 

We live in a world driven by technology. We've created a host of smart machines and apps that purport to better connect us to each other. In reality we've built digital walls--screens  ultimately block us from building deeper more empathetic relationships. On this episode of PeakConnection, author, speaker, and MIT professor Dr. Sherry Turkle discusses why Zoom and text will always be performative and never add up to authentic human connection, how technology is assaulting empathy on a global scale, and why we increasingly find ourselves feeling more alone than ever before. "...what I'm arguing is really for...more time for quiet conversation. Because to end where it all begins for me, within solitude that empathy is born. It's in having a secure sense of who you are that you can then reach out and say, 'Well, who are you?' Not 'I know who you are,' but 'I don't know who you are.' And 'let me just spend a minute finding out who you are,' that's where relationships start." --Dr. Sherry Turkle 

Navigating the sometimes tumultuous New York City dating scene can be challenging, even in the best of times--now let's add a global pandemic. An actor, producer, and host of the podcast Hashtag Single, Jeanette Bonner shares her struggles and triumphs over the past year. She discusses why she continues making connections, despite the limitations of quarantine and Covid-19, how dating apps are more harmful than helpful in making a perfect match, and the resiliency to continue pursing passions regardless of the darkened New York City stage. "For me, one of the things that really helped me cope was figuring out my why ...I had to figure out why do I do everything every day...How does it serve me? How does it fill me? That's helped me. And I think anyone who's dealing with anxiety or career struggles, everything comes back to love. What's the thing you love about it, or just love in general." --Jeanette BonnerWays to Connect with Jeanette: Production Company: https://www.instagram.com/kellyspoolhall/#Single Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/hashtagsinglepod/Audio Engineered by: Blaise Douros

Adolescents have fundamental developmental needs for companionship. It's the desire to build relationships outside their familial unit that eventually leads to adulthood. However, in an effort to keep themselves and others safe during COVID-19, many teens have been prevented from engaging in normal developmental activities. Parents, educators, and researchers are seeing a steady increase in depression and anxiety, which may be contributing to a rise in teen suicide. Dr. David Frankel, a respected clinical child and adolescent psychologist from the Bay Area, discusses the growing mental health crisis among adolescents, what signs to look for, solutions, and how to start a conversation with the teens in your life. "...it's okay to talk honestly and frankly about your worries with your kids, about how they're doing and stuff like that. I think the other thing is if objectively you're struggling and they're struggling, to name that, to talk about it. I mean, the kids can already observe what's going on, so not to pretend it's otherwise or be afraid that they're going to somehow be unnerved by you acknowledging the reality that's in front of all of you and to try to talk about how things are going." --Dr. David Frankel*Due to the sensitive subject matter on this episode, we do not recommend listening where small children may be present.

As a culture, we've grown into a mindset of every person for themselves. And while we've been busy focusing on ourselves, there are millions of people every day suffering right in front of us, yet we largely choose to ignore them. In this episode, clinical psychologist, writer, and producer Dr. Leslie Silver shares about her documentary film, No Home Here, which focuses on the growing homeless crisis in California and the myths surrounding it. As a culture we've been conditioned to ignore homelessness, so how do we start breaking down the myths surrounding it and start rebuilding empathy? "...we need to start by listening to the people that are actually homeless...And I think when we can listen to them, we are going to find out that they're more relatable to us than you might imagine. Can we make a psychological shift as a society to just stop turning away from these people that are struggling? That are desperate for food, for housing, right in front of us in this rich state that we lived in. Can we stop turning away from them? And can we simply just start looking at them?" --Dr. Leslie Silver Audio Engineered by: Blaise Douros

We all have ideals which shape us into the friends, partners, workers, and parents we aspire to be. However, what happens when our expectations for the person we want to become are set so high they're impossible to reach? Especially when those impossible standards are further perpetuated by our society and a global pandemic? On this second part of our two-part conversation with Dr. Margaret Lamar and Dr. Lisa Forbes, they discuss their research around how the highly individual and usually unrealistic standards women have for the “ideal mother,” and how these expectations have been particularly damaging during Covid-19."...we have adapted to our current environment... I think it speaks highly to how quickly women adapt, that doing all of that stuff didn't feel as challenging as it did at the beginning of the pandemic, that it didn't feel as intrusive into our lives. I think it speaks very much to the resiliency of mothers in that way, but I think it's concerning for the future that we may have adapted to our current environment." --Margaret Lamar"We saw that a mother who is depressed and stressed and anxious has a harder time being a mom, obviously, but it's paradoxical in that, our culture prescribes motherhood in a way that leads to depression and anxiety and stress. That then makes you not as good of a mom. It's this trap." --Lisa ForbesWays to connect with the Mothering Project: https://www.instagram.com/themotheringproject/https://www.facebook.com/themotheringproject/https://twitter.com/Mothering_DrsAudio Engineered by: Blaise Douros

It goes without saying that parenting is one of the most difficult jobs a person will ever have. The pandemic has taken away many of the healthy coping mechanisms parents once relied on in order to survive. The stability and security of having a daily set of routine activities and interactions with caretakers, friends, and family has stopped and parents everywhere are feeling overwhelmed with little help in sight. Sadly, without access to their normal coping mechanisms, many parents are turning to substance abuse, which in turn is contributing to a rise in mental disorders like depression and anxiety. On this episode, Dr. Margaret Lamar and Dr. Lisa Forbes discuss their research around this second pandemic and what we can do about it. "...there's a lot of concern in the mental health community about there being what they would call a, 'second pandemic', of mental health and substance alcohol use problems. There's evidence that in past crises like this, that alcohol use goes up. And then from that alcohol and substance use, mental illnesses result as of that." -Margaret Lamar "I think what the pandemic did, was it took away a lot of people's sense of safety and security...And just coping with living in a pandemic, our whole schedule is different. Our whole world is different. We can't do the same routines we used to do. Drinking and substances is a coping mechanism. It's not a positive one but it's a way to cope." -Lisa Forbes Ways to connect with the Mothering Project: https://www.instagram.com/themotheringproject/https://www.facebook.com/themotheringproject/https://twitter.com/Mothering_DrsAudio Engineered by: Blaise Douros

It's a New Year and with that comes New Year's Resolutions. But what happens when our best intentions to become healthier versions of ourselves turn toxic? On this episode of PeakConnection, Certified Integrative Nutrition Health Coach and founder of Best Feeling Forever Kailey Mann discusses the toxicity of diet culture and the importance of maintaining a healthy relationship with ourselves both mentally and physically. "What helped me overcome my own personal issues with food within my eating disorder was learning how to build trust within myself again. And that's trust in me as a person, but trust in my body as well. The connection from mind to body was completely detached for a long time. And it was really about rebuilding that connection and rebuilding that trust." --Kailey MannWays to connect with Kailey: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourbestfeelingforever/ Website: https://www.bestfeelingforever.com/aboutBlog: http://www.snack-face.com/

People are very aware of what foods are good and nourishing for a body. However, while we're preoccupied with reading labels, what most of us are not thinking about is the diet of our minds. All of us have seen or felt the effects of chronic stress. It lives beside us and is us daily. And the more we choose to hold within ourselves mentally, the more it affects us physically. On this episode of PeakConnection, Certified Nutrition and Digestive Health Coach Katie Duda discusses the importance of taking care of ourselves mentally first, if we want to heal our bodies physically. “You're responsible for your life…. living in incongruity where you're doing one thing but feeling another is the surest way to ruin your health. And you'll start reaching for things that you know aren't good for you, that make you feel good temporarily, because you feel off and you don't feel your authentic self. And then it starts to manifest in the physical form with actually giving you chronic disease.” --Katie DudaWays to Connect with Katie: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ditchthescale/Website: https://www.therealrawyou.com/aboutPodcast: https://therealrawyou.buzzsprout.com/

On this episode of PeakConnection writer, blogger, and sober mom of three Jessica Guerrieri is back. This time she discusses the importance of vulnerability as a means to emotionally connect during a time of isolation, especially as it pertains to addiction and maintaining sobriety. Ultimately our stories of struggle and grit empower others to continue with their resolve, even when it becomes uncomfortable. "Whether or not you struggle with addiction, you are also sitting in these deeply uncomfortable feelings within the pandemic and spending way too much time in our own heads. I don't know a single person who hasn't had some sort of emotional breakdown during this time, but this bottoming out that we've done, this hitting rock bottom, I think has made people more willing and vulnerable to whatever it is their struggle is and wanting to connect with other people. We're so far away from each other, that we are going to emotionally connect in whatever way we can. And sometimes that's by sharing our truth." --Jessica GuerrieriAudio Engineered by: Blaise Douros

Grief is a lonely journey. It's easy to become stuck. Unable to move forward. Unable to continue living fully. Incapable of finding joy. In 2012, Lisa Herrington experienced an unimaginable loss. Eight years later, she's channeled her experiences with living through profound grief into her new book, Your Amazing Itty Bitty Grief Book. On this episode of PeakConnection, Lisa discusses how she eventually was able to intentionally create joy in the midst of her grief, helping guide her back to living a big beautiful life. A life that is now filled with deeper more meaningful connections because of her continued willingness to be vulnerable and share her inspiring personal journey through grief and back into joy. "And so there has to come a point where you take that big step and decide to get unstuck and decide to start moving forward, and know it's not going to be easy moving forward, but it's a huge step to say I'm going to go into this holiday season and I don't feel like celebrating it, but I'm going to do something that makes me feel little joy, that brings my family joy, because I don't want to stay here. I don't want to stay in grief. I want to move towards joy. I want to move towards light. That's where the living happens." --Lisa HerringtonAudio Engineered by: Blaise Douros

The human mind does not assess risk very accurately. Our emotions and preconceptions often color our ability to understand the most relevant factors. On this episode of PeakConnection, Dr. Toni Brayer, one of the San Francisco Bay Area's most respected physicians, discusses what we should consider when assessing risk of Covid-19 infection, when it comes to family, friends, colleagues or employers, and how to maintain our physical and mental health in the process. "...if there's anything that this pandemic has taught us, it's that there are no guarantees. We know this, life is filled with uncertainty. So we take the information that we have and we try and make ourselves as safe and certain as we can...Focus on what you can control because if there's anything this COVID virus has taught us is that we don't have control over life. The only thing that's certain is uncertainty, right? Things change, we can't predict day-to-day, but there are things that we can control."--Dr. Toni Brayer

Covid-19 has made the work-home-life balance more disproportionate than ever before. What has arguably been one of the most difficult periods to navigate has been downright impossible for some--mainly mothers. For decades, women have fought for equality--equal pay, equal rights, an equal seat at the table. However, within a few short months, and with school and childcare closures, many women find themselves utterly exhausted and burned out from trying to achieve the impossible task set before them. The ugly truth is that they cannot in fact do it all. Something has to give, and that something is often a career before family. On this episode of PeakConnection, sociologist and renowned author Dr. Jessica Calarco discusses her research on social and economic inequalities and how this is affecting women specifically during the pandemic. "I'm very concerned about how this not only sets women back career-wise but also exposes them to levels of stress and to levels of physical harm, in some cases, those mothers who are sacrificing sleep to get work done. I'm worried about the long-term impact on women's health, and relationships, and careers..." --Dr. Jessica Calarco

We live in a success-obsessed world. The perception of success often requires the pursuit of more traditionally stable career paths, leaving behind our dreams. But for MNT Pilates Studio founder and CEO Elaine Hayes, she's spent the past decade devoting herself to building a business out of her passion, centered around community. On this episode of PeakConnection, Elaine discusses the importance in creating a community-driven business, the success she's experienced because of it, and her relentless spirit of resiliency in the process. "I found that for anything to be sustainable and just enjoyable, I need a community around it for it to just stick. I mean, that goes with pretty much like anything. I think it's the reason why so many of us, gravitate towards...different communities, because it's like there's power in having a group of like-minded people who are kind of on the same journey as you." --Elaine HayesAudio Engineered by: Blaise Douros

Feelings can be hurt and emotions triggered no matter what age. So, how do we teach our children to weather bullying, when we're struggling to do the same? On this episode of PeakConnection, renowned resilience educator, author, and sociologist Dr. Brooks Gibbs discusses the importance of regulating emotional responses to intentionally aggressive behavior and building a kinder more resilient future together. "So resilience education is the solution for bullying on campus or online, or any aggression for that matter. It's teaching kids why someone's being mean, how to control their emotions from being wounded by it and resolving it by responding to the person in an appropriate way." -- Dr. Brooks Gibbs

The holiday season presents us with its own set of challenges to navigate in any normal year. However, 2020 is not a normal year. Families everywhere are feeling the pinch of a growing political divide and Covid-19. So, regardless if its over Zoom or in person, how do we navigate already complex relationships with the added stressors of the past year? Clinical social worker and therapist Stephanie Bagley discusses the importance of maintaining and setting healthy boundaries for ourselves and others. Our families and friends are complex and nuanced, not reducible to a single set of views or actions. We are capable of having meaningful conversations with those we love but disagree with, so long as we put effort into ground rules and a plan ahead of time. "And the dialect that I like to say to myself is that people are doing the best that they can, but also people need to do better. So two opposing things can be true at the same time. Your parents could have voted for someone that you disagree with, and they could also still be good parents." --Stephanie BagleyAudio engineered by Blaise Douros

Clinical Psychologist Maggie Stagg shares her journey with her unexpected Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis, and the equally unexpected opportunities for creating connections with others who share it. More specifically, PeakConnection host Lindsey Douros, who was recently diagnosed with the same chronic illness. In this episode, Stagg and Douros talk about how choosing to embrace their shared MS diagnosis has led to a more meaningful connection with each other, and makes the heavy load a little easier to bear.“This is my thing, right? Everyone's born with their thing, their thing to carry...It becomes empowering. And then, when you connect with other people who are going through the same thing, you can give them a little bit of your power, right? It's like, ‘I've done hard things. I do hard things. I feel hard things. And you can too.’" --Maggie Stagg Audio Engineered by: Blaise Douros

Prominent author, speaker, and human behavior researcher Alfie Kohn is known for challenging widely-held beliefs about parenting and education. On this episode, Kohn discusses the importance of working with children to understand their perspective, rather than trying to buy their obedience with bribery or punishment, whether at home or inside the classroom. He shares radical steps for creating collaborative approaches to both education and parenting, where adults talk less and listen more. "...we have to stop ourselves from simply figuring out new tricks and techniques to get kids to obey whatever we're telling them to do. And that's what takes enormous courage, as well as skills and talent and time. ..an important related, but distinct point about both families and classrooms, is that bribes are as bad as threats. Both are instances of what I call a 'doing to' approach. Whereas the only thing that can help us meet our long-term goals for our kids is a 'working with' approach." --Alfie Kohn

In a world filled with division and uncertainty, parents and caretakers are feeling especially overwhelmed and hopeless as to what the future may hold, not just for themselves but for the next generation they're raising. Nationally renowned psychologist, author, and speaker Dr. Robert Brooks discusses coping mechanisms and strategies to help adults maintain hope and resiliency, while also encouraging the children in their care to do the same. "I view resilience as really the capacity to cope with past and present adversity, and a key word there is cope. It's not that resilient people are not going to face problems. It's not that they're not going to feel stress." --Dr. Robert Brooks

Seattle-based best-selling author, designer, and online curator Moorea Seal discusses how she uses list-making as a powerful tool to manage mental health. She’s shared her habitual practice with others through her 52 Lists Project, in which she encourages everyone to harness their inner wisdom, strength, and self love through making lists. We talk about the inspiration behind her most recent book 52 Lists for Bravery, and how you, too, can be resilient and brave in the midst of life’s uncertainties. "It's about rewriting your story. It's about deciding to take the things from the past that are going to help you in creating a new future, rather than ruminating on the things that hold you back. So I think that is really the power of list making." -Moorea Seal Audio Engineered by: Blaise Douros

In the pressure cooker of daily life, we're often quick to prioritize our hobbies before our love lives. And when we're left grasping at the frayed edges of what was once a passionate love affair, we wonder how we arrived here. On this episode, renowned sex therapist, psychologist, author, and speaker Dr. Cheryl Fraser uses frank humor to address the importance of making love intentional, whatever your relationship status. “Don't take love for granted. Life is short. Things happen and we get far less time with our loved one than we sometimes think we will. Make the most of the time we've got. Invest in love with the person. As I often say, fall in love over and over again with the one you're already with. The perfectly imperfect person standing right in front of you right now.”--Dr. Cheryl FraserDr. Cheryl’s new online immersion workshop for couples – Become Passion – Create Love that Lasts a Lifetime - brings her work to your own living room. Join her for an 8-week program that includes weekly video lessons, couples skill exercises, guest experts, and weekly live coaching and Q&A with Cheryl. The next session begins 11/1/2020. Register for a free Passion Masterclass here and learn more. Her book, Buddha’s Bedroom: The Mindful Loving Path to Sexual Passion and Lifelong Intimacy is available now. Additional resources: https://drcherylfraser.com/quiz/ Audio Engineered by: Blaise Douros

During Covid-19, many parents are feeling overloaded and run down, but mothers and working mothers in particular are being asked to carry impossible loads. In this direct follow-up to episode 008, Dr. Lindsay Ulrey shares the importance for mothers and especially working mothers, in establishing "wellness rituals," but most importantly a strong sense of self-compassion. Dr. Ulrey addresses when and how to ask for help, as well as the benefits of working through hard things instead of turning to substances to numb them. "...you can provide a beautiful model for your children to say like, 'When things aren't working, I'm not going to just pretend like they're not working and continue on and numb myself.' You can provide a model of, 'This is what life is about, is getting through hard times. Not the avoidance or the absence of hard things. It's how you get through hard things that's really going to matter.' They're not going to learn that in school. Or maybe they will, but they're going to learn these kinds of lifelong skills from you." --Dr. Lindsay Ulrey drlindsayulrey@gmail.comThis episode engineered by: Blaise Douros

Quarantine has become a potential breeding ground for addiction. Mothers already struggle to navigate a culture that’s normalized drinking as an appropriate coping mechanism, and the habits we form in the secrecy of isolation can go unnoticed by friends and family. During a global pandemic, who’s going to question eating cookies at midnight or a second or third glass of wine? Writer, blogger, and sober mom of three Jessica Guerrieri talks about the pitfalls sober parents face during Covid-19. With brutal honesty, she shares her journey to sobriety, how she applies coping mechanisms from her recovery to pandemic parenting, and how she’s establishing a deeper sense of community for others. "Anxiety, depression, isolation...these are deeply uncomfortable feelings. There’s this message that we shouldn’t feel that and we shouldn’t sit in that sadness or that pain and we should find a quick fix to it. Or this should be the way we cope with it, with this glass of wine. But I think the message that’s so important to hear is that women and especially mothers are so strong and capable that we absolutely do not need to use alcohol as a coping strategy. We are capable of incredibly challenging things." --Jessica GuerrieriThis episode engineered by: Blaise Douros Resources: https://www.aa.org/https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

Maintaining a healthy romantic relationship is never simple. But it can be even more complicated when one of the partners experiences adult ADHD. Dr. Sam Jinich and Alexine Thompson FSP, LMFT, EFT discuss the importance of recognizing the effects of adult ADHD and hypersensitivity on romantic relationships, and how partners can be empathetic and compassionate towards one another. Learn coping mechanisms and how to address and work together to find solutions rather than focus on the negative. "All these gifts, all these riches, and it's just a different way of thinking. And we have to, I think as a couple, it's most helpful when you can go, 'Okay, it's not normal, not normal or right or wrong, it's different.'"--Alexine ThompsonFurther Resources: Some of the ideas and concepts shared here come from leading expert Melissa Orlov's book, The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps.

What would happen if you started investing in people first and business second? Actively pursued developing deeper connections over handing out business cards? In an egocentric world, what if we stopped for a moment and shifted the focus from ourselves to others? In this episode, Alex Rosenblatt sits down with “Chief Day Maker” and CEO of Client Giant Jay O’Brien to talk about how he ultimately turned his passion for helping others into an uplifting and successful business. While “paying it forward” or “random acts of kindness” are hardly novel ideas, Jay and his company have created a booming business out of seemingly simple lifestyle choices. He shares his experiences and how to use these elementary principals as a catalyst for living deeper, more purposeful lives. "It's maybe even a selfish feeling, trying to be selfless, right? Where you actually are doing something for somebody else, but you are able to experience fulfillment and joy just because you know you've made their day or you've impacted them positively in some sort of manner."--Jay O'Brien, Client Giant Chief Day Maker

Investing in intentional human interactions is rare in today’s tech-fueled world. We distract ourselves with artificial connections--alcohol, drugs, casual sex, work, and even social media. During these days of isolation and quarantine, our distractions are few and our need for kinship is great. In this episode, Alex Rosenblatt and New York Times Best Selling Author and TEDx speaker, Joe Sweeney discuss the importance of being vulnerable enough to look outside ourselves and give to others, even in times of economic and individual hardship. More importantly, putting the needs of others above your own, can ultimately lead to successful business and personal relationships. “...when there's a time of crisis, where there's a time of economic instability, instead of going inward, it's counterintuitive because that's what we all want to do. We've got to get outside ourselves, be comfortable getting outside of our comfort zone and reach out to people.” --Joe Sweeney

During moments of conflict, the importance of recognizing what you’re really feeling underneath the surface is key to communicating more clearly in both romantic and professional relationships. Our bodies often react physically to our emotions, sometimes in ways that make it difficult for us to identify the underlying cause. In this episode, Dr. Sam Jinich speaks with Dimitrij Samoilow, a certified EFT therapist based in Oslo Norway, on the importance of acknowledging physical responses to emotional reactions and having the vulnerability to share them with others. Here's a quick look into what you'll learn this episode: -How internal narratives keep us in reactive loops-The importance of having a sense of self compassion, love, and acceptance for ourselves -Acknowledging and accepting how our bodies react to certain emotions and seeking out other resources to help us process them-Feeling connected in an increasingly disconnected world"We know that from research, that knowing your feelings and being able to name your feelings correctly is calming and soothing and it gives us more emotional balance." -Dimitrij Samoilow

We all have sensitive areas in our lives, memories, and shared experiences. When these are triggered, they can ultimately cause moments of disconnection between our partners and loved ones. Maintaining healthy relationships is challenging--especially when couples get caught up in repetitive negative patterns. As we work towards developing deeper connections and living more authentic lives, these emotional raw spots get in our way. So how do we identify these emotional bruises before they leave permanent scars on our existing relationships? Join Dr. Sam Jinich and Dr. Zoya Simakhodskaya, Executive Director of the New York Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy, as they discuss how to interrupt these raw spots, break negative cycles, and build deeper, more meaningful connections. Here’s a quick glance at what you’ll learn from Sam and Zoya during this episode:-How to react when you feel like your partner doesn’t understand or is not being sensitive to your feelings. -How to identify sensitivities or emotional raw spots, which may have been formed earlier in childhood or by previous relationships. -The importance of sharing our raw spots with our partners and loved ones, so that we can work together to avoid or be more gentle with those emotional bruises. -Feeling safe, loved, and accepted in our relationships, instead of unsafe, undervalued, and unloved. -Finding empathy for ourselves and others. "We all have [raw spots]. You have them. I have them. Every single listener has them. And they usually are things that we had experienced, most likely growing up, but it can also happen later on in life." --Dr. Zoya Simakhodskaya"If we want to change the way that our raw spots are pressed from others, by others, we need to understand also our role and our part in having those raw spots pressed." --Dr. Sam Jinich

During the Covid-19 pandemic, parents are being challenged in unprecedented ways to meet the needs of their children, while also having to remain socially distant from caretaker resources who previously helped carry the load. In addition to financially providing for their families, parents are also overseeing their children’s education and providing enrichment activities. Some families find themselves in an entirely new state of uncertainty, discomfort, and distress, as they’ve lost their employment all together. It’s a tall order for most, but without a doubt, an exhausting one for single parents--especially if they don’t get along with their ex. So, how do single parents cope during Covid-19 while working from home, trying to provide for their families amidst financial instability, and also navigating difficult co-parenting dynamics? Dr. Sam Jinich discusses these topics with Dr. Lisa Palmer-Olsen, a licensed marriage and family therapist in San Diego, California, and her own candid and raw experience with them. Parenting before the pandemic was difficult. Single parenting was harder--now it feels like a nearly impossible feat. Sam and Lisa guide listeners on how to appropriately navigate these new unstable and potentially volatile waters, while keeping children safe and preserving not only their hearts but yours as well. Here’s a quick glance at what you’ll learn from Sam and Lisa during this episode:- When tensions rise, how to de-escalate and disengage before old patterns are triggered -Keeping things transparent and appropriate for children-It’s okay to not be okay, even in front of your children -How to cope in the moments between parenting, working, and managing the expectations -Resources for outside virtual support "If you look scared, if you look like you're going under, if you look like the world is falling apart, [children] are going to absorb that as part of something that they're going to believe. They need to be able to turn to you as a rock right now. It's also okay, rocks can have moments where they're whittled down, but you stand back up." --Dr. Lisa Palmer-Olsen

We’re currently living through a unique period of human history--the Coronavirus Pandemic. We’re having to learn how to juggle home life, work, family, and our relationships from well, our homes. For some, a trip to the local grocery store now has the same appeal as an exotic vacation once did. And while COVID-19 is forcing many of us to socially distance ourselves from friends and families, it is simultaneously forcing us to live with our families--especially our partners. For some of us, it’s creating more conflict and social disconnect than ever before. Who is this person again? And why are we together? In this informative interview, renowned San Franciscan Clinical Psychologist, Sam Jinich, Ph.D. interviews New York-based Psychotherapist and Sex Therapist, Michael Moran, LCSW, CST. The duo discusses the importance of engaging in sexual intimacy in order to maintain a healthy connection, one that promotes connected sex over disconnected sex. Ultimately, couples able to create environments in which they feel both relationally and emotionally close become a better sexual team and are able to weather the storm together. And what better time to take a physical adventure and expand physical horizons with your partner, than during quarantine--you’re not going anywhere anyways. Here’s a quick glance at what you’ll learn from Sam and Michael during this episode: -Maintaining sexual connection during crisis -How to translate an emotional connection to a physical one--preserving the sexual connection in the midst of working from home, parenting, and navigating a pandemic together -How to be present and hold it together, together -Identifying differing erotic tastes and exploring them together, safely-An emotionally well supported environment leads to vulnerability, allowing for vibrant and meaningful sexual adventures