Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

This audio was recorded in 2006, long before Hijackals became Dr. Shaler's focus. Rethinking Selfishness: "What if I told you that I now value selfishness? Would that be shocking? Not only do I value it, but I encourage others to value it and practice it."In this first of our upcoming Legacy Files, Dr. Shaler explores the often misunderstood concept of selfishness and redefines it as a positive force. Throughout our lives, many of us have been taught that being selfish is wrong. However, Dr. Shaler encourages us to reconsider this notion, advocating for a type of selfishness that empowers us to better care for ourselves and, in turn, more genuinely care for others.She delves into how practicing what she terms "positive selfishness" can actually increase our self-esteem, improve our personal freedom, and enhance our abilities to contribute to the world. In this discussion, we'll unpack the differences between detrimental selfishness and beneficial self-focus, explore the importance of setting boundaries, and debunk the myth that loving oneself is an act of neglect towards others. Join us as we lean into learning how to be positively selfish, and why it is crucial not just for personal happiness, but also for fostering healthier relationships.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~We are deeply saddened to share that Dr. Shaler passed away unexpectedly on April 3, 2024.She left peacefully and without any further discomfort, full of grace. Rhoberta worked hard to maintain her energy to continue offering time and wisdom to clients, members, and strangers alike, who found her voice and demeanor comforting and strengthening as you each faced difficult and overwhelming experiences. We know it was very hard for her to let go enough to leave her clients and fans behind, and that serving you all was her greatest joy. If you need some time with her, please visit her youtube channel (youtube.com/@forrelationshiphelp) or listen to other episodes in this podcast. There is a wealth more information among all her body of work, that has not yet made it into the world. We will continue to surface this additional material and content from her deep archive to allow her voice and strength to continue helping you all. Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whether you're looking for a new friend or a potential new relationship, you don't want to be trauma dumping. When you let your whole story fly, someone else is likely to get crushed by it.Out of the gate, with someone new, it's smart to establish a relationship dynamic based on balance, mutual sharing, and emotional maturity. Oversharing personal traumas can burden the budding relationship and skew its potential for growth.Whether you're single, dating, or looking to improve your emotional connections, this episode of #saveyoursanitypodcast share strategies and practices you need, to proceed with care and confidence.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:New Relationships and Emotional BaggageUnderstanding Drama Dumping and Trauma DumpingEmotional Health and Relationship DynamicsBuilding Emotional MaturityDating After a Toxic RelationshipI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#dramadumping #traumadumping #narcissistsbehaveliketoddlers #traumadumpingredflag #dramadumpingattractcshijackals#narcissistsbreakpromises #canttrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SOOO frustrating! You hoped for a partner, parent, sibling, or adult child with whom you could communicate, collaborate, and co-operate, but no. You live most of the time with q tiresome toddler or miserable middle schooler, right?Learn more about recognizing the patterns and altering your expectations now.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:#Hijackals are emotionally immature.Check your expectations when you approach a narcissist. Expecting equality? Oops!Often feel you're talking to a tiresome toddler or demanding teenager when you try to reason with a Hijackal?Why you need to do your own work to make good decisions about what to do about the HijackalI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#narcicisstsareemotionallyimmature #emotionallyimmature #hijjackalsareemotionallyimmature #narcissistsbehaveliketoddlers #narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Narcissists ask for too much...and they expect to get it. It's essential to hear that a question is outrageous so you can respond differently. If you've been with a Hijackal for too long, you may have stopped hearing their questions as outrageous; This episode will sharpen your listening skills and increase your sensitivity to questions that are intrusive, violating, and need a solid NO answer.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Listen for outrageous questions. You may have become used to them,Narcissists want power over you.Meaning of 'coercive control"Learn to diffuse the outrageous question,I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#learntosayno #saynotosadsm #saynotomysogyny #saynotoqhmakesmeuncomfotable#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Being with a narcissistic person is scary, right? You are usually wrong...even when you're right!. You never know what mood they'll be in. They lie, gaslight, rage, and fall silent. They are intimidating! They keep you on edge! What can you do to reduce the intimidation? Listen to this episode. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Narcissistic people are likely to engage in several kinds of abuse: verbal, physical, sexual, financial, emotional or spiritual Hijackals use intimidation as a quick way to win, or silence someoneChange your perspective and stop allowing yourself to be les than equal.Use the Personal Weather Report to your advantage I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#narcissstiintimitation #respondingtointimidation #stayingcalmwhennarcissistsareangry#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can't do anything wrong? Get away with nonsense? Get extra goodies? Attention? Time?Might sound good but it can get old fast and leave you with very poor self-esteem and a lack of identity. Have a sibling who is the Golden Child? You envied them and now you se them differently? VERY IMPORTANT EPISODE to straighten your thinking about yourself and others who were treated as Golden Children growing up.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why being the Golden Child is not a great rolehelp to understand the downsides of being raised by a narcissistic parentRecognize the lasting effects of being the Golden Child or Scapegoat child in a narcissistic familyGiving up the "overachiever" role given to you by your family dynamicI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#goldenchilldinfamily #goldenchildonlychild #goldenchildrepresentsfamily #goldenchildscapgoatlostchild#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Narcissists love it when you run after their approval. You hope to explain yourself and be heard; they hope to explain you away. In this episode are five iron-clad reasons to not even try to please a Hijackal - save your energy, save your time, save your self-esteem.Listen in.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Hijackals want you to please themThey make it very difficult to doWhy narcissists always need to be rightRefusing to remember the truth makes things impossibleI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#narcissistisalwaysright #hijackalalwaysright #narcissistslie #hijackalslie #narcissistsmustwin#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You want someone--at least one someone--to hear you, see you, believe you. So you share. Sadly, that often turns into oversharing, leaving you a little red-faced. if you fully embarrassed a little later, right? "Why did I do that?" There are good reasons you overshare. Don't beat yourself up for it. Listen in to understand the "whys" and stick around for the "why nots!" so you can make positive changes in what you share and with whom. You can stop oversharing, and still be heard when you talk with the right people. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:The longing to be knownThe desire to have an allyTrusting the wrong person for the right reasonsDisappointed and betrayed while looking for a friendTaking care of yourself in ways you didn't know you'd need to I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#oversharing #feelinginvisible #wantingtobeheard #flyingmonkeys #givinggossip #falseintimacy#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Steps to emotional freedom require knowing where the path starts. These five "must-haves" are fundamental to saving your sanity, self-esteem, and self-confidence.Know the importance of each of these and how to keep them top of mind. Develop enough strength to follow the "healthier human" path to avoid being sucked down the "Hijackal human" one. YOU CAN!! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:How to not get sucked into Hijackal dramaGaining perspective about how the narcissist's mind worksCreating emotional distance when the narcissist is accusing youDr. Shaler's most important mantra for saving your sanityI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#narcississticprojection #observenarcissisticbehavior #emotionaldistance #safefromanarcissist #narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, how Hijackals love to poke, prod, and provoke you into losing it and reacting, right? And then they like to wind you up further so you'll yell, blame, complain, and meltdown. Crazy-making?Yes, INTENTIONALLY CRAZY-MAKING!Learn ways to not go there, to not react, to not behave like the Hijackal...or the way the Hijackal wants to manipulate you into behaving, How to choose control and calm instead. Yay!HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Nasty, manipulate way to make you out to be the abuser - Don't let it happen.Be careful: Hijackals and other narcissists attempt "reactive abuse" to keep you feeling wrong, thoughtless, confused, and small. DoNT't let them!Hijackals like to push you to reactive abuse when you are out with other people. Some do it to make a reason to call the police and make a scene. Don't let them. I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#reactiveabuse @coercivecontrol #avoidreactiveabuse #narciccistprojectionnarcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Narcissistic Hijackals know what you want. Yet, they withhold giving it to you. They know what you need. Yet, they refuse to fulfill it. They know how to make you happy, but prefer disappointing you.Think deeply about these five "would be good" things narcissists promise but fail to deliver...and, they do it very deliberately. There are real deal-breakers...when you actually see them. Listen in. Don't be fooled by the promises!!!HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:5 good things that Hijackals promise you, that they won't deliver onWhy you need to be VERY clear that you are thinking you are being promised something that you will NEVER receive....except for a hot minute now and again!Why mutuality is critical to a loving relationshipThe most unlikely promises that won't be fulfilled....so sad.I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You want to be able to trust a person, right? It's natural. It's healthy. Yet, you cannot trust narcissists or any variation of Hijackal. And, I know you want to. In this episode, hear the many ways you CANNOT trust them, even when you want to. Hear ways you convince yourself you can believe them, and why you must stop. Yep, it's hard sometimes. But, if you trust them, you're diving into crazy-making even further...and, that's never a good thing. Join in.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Trust is a hallmark of a healthy relationship....and relationships with narcissists are unhealthy!Why Hijackals are untrustworthy....narcissists, tooHow narcissists take advantage of you...over and over and over.Why narcissists won't compromiseStop giving them another chance.I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#nevertrustanarcissst #canitrustanarcissist #donttrustanarcissist #wasteyearsofmylife #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Little by little, nasty, bitter, unfair things start becoming part of the day-to-day with a narcissist. Those Hijackals are relentless in wearing you down and getting their way, right?You might pass it off as another "little thing to avoid" to reduce the abuse. WHAT? You're doing things to reduce the abuse rather than set boundaries and making plans to leave? SEE HOW SNEAKY IT ALL IS? Don't miss these ten main "features" of narcissistic emotional abuse!!HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:You can get used to being emotionally abused...and, that's not good!Failing to see abuse as abuse is dangerous.Among the top ten forms of frequent emotional abuse10 ways you can get used to being emotionally abused without actually noticingI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#emotionallyabused #usedtobeingabused #seeingemotionalabuse #beingusedandabused#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Some Hijackals are subtle, some are sneaky. All are to keep your relationship in chaos, preferably with you giving in to their whims, demands, and expectations. Most of all, they want to be in charge and in control of all the things. Be informed. See them for what and who they are.They are always wanting to create a fracas, a commotion, an upset, and a mess. When you can see what they're up to, it's easier to see their ploys, tricks, and defaults. Then you an choose your responses in healthier ways.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Hijackals, narcissists, anti-socials: all need to win and be right27 mean ways they try to keep things chaotic, emotionallyHijackals love a fracas, a noisy disturbance or quarrel, about anythingDo everything in your power to avoid responding with reactive abuseI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#sneakynarcissist #nastynarcissist #narciccistsaaretroublesome #reativeabuse #seeinganarcissist#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalab Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When you're on guard every minute, hypervigilant about the next accusation, you might think I'm suggesting something impossible...maybe even crazy. I'm not.It's important to recognize that you can stay in charge of yourself, no matter what kind of crazy-making the Hijackal or narcissist engages in.Difficult? Yes, but not impossible. Worthwhile? Definitely!Learn this invaluable approach to taking good care of yourself, even though you may be rattled daily by a Hijackal now.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Be hard on issues, Soft on self.Why Hijackals may NOT harden your heart: you won't give them your permission!Harden your attitude towards the Hijackal, but keep your heart safe.Hijackals don't care who they hurt.Do your best not to take it personally.I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#hardenmyheart #hardenmyattitude #narcissiststakeandtake #hardenmyattitudetothenarcissist #heartopen#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You may think that it's impossible to be "too nice." It's not. It actually can make things worse...and that's just what it does when you're in a relationship with a narcissistic Hijackal.You do all the giving and then, more is expected, right? Not working! Listen in to recognize the ways being "too nice" works against you.Hijackals LOVE to take advantage of someone who will fall all over themselves to keep the Hijackal happy. Remember, though, the Hijackal is dedicated to never being happy for more than a hot minute...if that. Then, it will be right back to blaming you for everything.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:People-pleasing can be part of being "too nice" and can lead to chronic codependencyDon't let someone else's opinion of you matter more than your own opinion on youHijackals will find fault with you no matter how nice you are and how much you do for them5 ways Healthier Humans behave differently than Hijackal HumansI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#beinbtoonice #peoplepleasing #notspeakingup #afraidofdisagreement #feellikeadoormat #tooniceisunhealthy#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Most people want to believe the stories of others. You want to be able to trust, right? So, you're inclined to be sucked in by plausible stories, excuses, reasons, etc.. Also, you don't want the hassle of their endless denials and turning things on you.Learn how plausibility is the key to turning this into healthier interactions to stop the crazy-making. Listen in and get away.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:plausible = seeming reasonable, probable, or persuasive...or NOT!How a plausible story is a slippery story: could be equally true or untrue"Plausible Deniability" = the sneaky way to deny knowledge of a responsibility or to be accountable for somethingWhy Hijackals like things that have no evidenceAnd, why Hijackals HATE EVIDENCE!Your best antidote to plausible deniability: the personal weather reportI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#plausibledeniability #plausiblelie #plausiblestory #naariccistneedstowin#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're a good person. You want to see the best in folks. You are right ready to help someone excuse their poor behavior, and be understanding. Hijackals count on that! They treat you poorly to see how much you'll put up with.It's often not long into the relationship before they're taking up all the space....and you're gasping for air, dying to be heard.BE CLEAR ABOUT THESE 12 TRAITS. See them. Believe them. Don't expect them to change.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:There are many more than twelve traits of narcissistic HijackalsYou may be too emotionally exhausted to see these clearly anymore, SO it's important to listen to this episodeWhy it's important to recognize these traits and make decisions to set boundaries that keep you saferHow sabotage, undermining, and threats relateWhy "belittling" is SO damagingI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#gaslighting #manipulating #redirectingconversations #projection #sabotage relationship #belittling #narcissistslying #disrespectingapartner#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Narcissists and other Hijackals are infuriating, frustrating, and crazy-making. You reach the end of your tether and you want to tell them everything that's wrong with them and more. You've likely noticed that nothing good happens when you accuse them of being narcissistic,, point out their flaws, or ask them to change. What's much ore likely to happen is that they explode, spilling their nastiness in every direction. MAXIMUM AGGRESSION. Listen to this episode to understand why and how to stop poking the Hijackal. You'll feel better when you stop. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Big link between narcissism and aggressionNarcissists don't take much provocation to be nasty, blaming, and shaming.Narcissistic aggression is not caused by you, nor is it your faultHijackals are entitled, thin-skinned, and owners of fragile egos.Both male and female narcissists are equally aggressive , though , it may show up in different ways.Why you are best to step back and observe the Hijackal behavior rather than participate with it.I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#aggressivebehavior #narcissistsareaggressive #passiveaggression #activeaggression #endingaggression #saynotoaggression#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You want to believe that love can change people, right? So, you give, give, and give in yet nothing really gets better beyond a half minute. You decide to give more until there is little left of you. Nothing changes...except for getting worse. That's because their decision to change has nothing to do with it And, worse...they have no interest in changing to make things better. Listen in to realize the many reasons WHY this is so, and WHY it's so hard to believe people who think and behave in narcissistic Hijackal ways exist...and see no reason to care how they affect you. ESSENTIAL TO RECOGNIZE!IGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why you want to believe a narcissistic person can changeHow believing a narcissistic person can change and investing it it robs you of time for healthier thingsHow a Hijackal manipulates you into thinking it's your job to please them and take care of themWhy you might stay TOO LONG in an unhealthy relationship with a narcissistWhy it is essential to see a toxic relationship for what it is: UNHEALTHYI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#stopkiddingyourself #believinganarcissist #narcissistbehavesbadly #narcissistsgetworse #getawayfromamarcissist#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Male and female children are differently treated--and affected--by having a narcissistic mother. SO many things you may never have thought much about!This episode will help you think in different ways about the long-term effects that having a Hijackal mother could have had on your sense of self, your self-confidence, your resilience...AND on your relationships. Use this episode to help you uncover hidden pieces SO you can turn them around and feel clearer and stronger.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Narcissistic mothers treat their sons and daughters differentlyWhy you may have learned to have no needs...or deny the ones you haveHow you were mothered shifts your responses in relationshipThe impact of lowering your expectations of having your needs metWhy it's important to purposefully examine what happened to you...and its impactI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#havinganarcissisticmother #impactofanarcissisticmother #effectsofanarcissisticparent #beingtoonice#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Unless they want something badly, narcissists want you to be in emotional chaos. In fact, they want you to feel less than and inadequate. Back-handed and blindsiding, they do their best to keep you off center and uncertain. Learn about toxic shame and how it may be playing out in your inner dialogue and in your relationship with a narcissistic parent and/or partner. See it so you can stop it!HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:What is toxic shame?How is toxic shame different from "normal" shame?How do I know if I've experienced toxic shame?Why narcissists are so likely to pass along the toxic shame they live beneathWhy everything threatens a narcissistWhat narcissist do with toxic shame and why you need to know so you can avoid itI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#toxicshame #whydonarcissistsshameme #whatistoxicshame #guiltvsshame#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New! Your questions are the focus for this episode. Narcissistic or not so much? What are you wondering about? Recognizing the patterns, traits and cycles that ARE narcissistic is wise...AND so is discerning what is NOT narcissistic. Ask your questions in the chat and I'll answer them as clearly as I can. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Questions from audience about narcissistic traits Are alcoholics likely to be narcissistic?Do narcissists often have alcoholic tendencies?What about a nitpicky boss?When a man frequently cuts me off mid-sentence, is that a narcissistic?I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#isthisnarcissistic #whatanarcissistdoes #narcissistictraits #ismypartneranarcissist#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

TRIANGULATION. See It. Say No, Step Away,. Understanding what triangulation really is allows you to see it more clearly and step away more readily. Get the inside scoop on this in your life. Once you see it, you can do something about it. You'll feel SO much better when you do.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:What triangulation isWhy narcissistic people use triangulationHow to recognize the abuse of triangulationHow to step away, and say NO more oftenTaking back your power in small ways from a narcissistic relationshipYou often feel the triangulation before your recognize what's happening. A twisted story about you comes to you, and you're tempted to think it's a misunderstanding. When it comes from a narcissistic source, it's usually very purposeful; intended to confuse, concern, and create chaos. Does this sound familiar? Learn about the purposes of triangulation and how to catch it faster; how to redirect it and reduce the confusion.I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #triangulationismanipulation #whynarcstriangulate #howtostepawayfromanarcissist #rejectingemotionalabuse#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Narcissists HATE to hear "NO!" You don't want to be a pretzel or a doormat, so you NEED to say NO when you mean it. Overtime, a Hijackal® may wear you down and try to get what they want by any means. How do you make NO mean NO...and make it stick? You already know how little a Hijackal® wants to be denied. A "NO" means that to them and they don't take it happily...or lying down. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Understand what a "NO" signals to a HijackalWhy narcissists hate haring "NO"What you can do to become assertivePracticing saying "NO"Making it stick require sticking with itI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #sayingnotoanarcissist #nonnegotiable #asolidno #makenocount #whynarcissistshateno #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's all rosy, dreamy, and forever in the beginning...until it's not! You try and try to recapture interest, regain emotional intimacy, and re-examine every inch of your mental, physical, emotional self, and still the connection is intermittent. That's because narcissists--all Hijackals--create situationships NOT relationships. You NEED the clarity of this distinction to really accept the realities of a Hijackal relationship. It helps a lot! Calibrate if you're settling for a situationship. Great place to start! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why it's important to distinguish between a relationship and a situationship25 ways relationships are different from situationships....AND situationships will seldom become relationshipsUnsettling things you need to know--even if you don't want to know--to clarify why your supposed "relationship" never feels fully OKCan a situationship become a relationship? (Hint: rarely, if it's with a narcissistic Hijackal....AND I MEAN VERY RARELY! I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #situationship #situationsvsrelationship #amIinarelationship #amiina situationship #noequality #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Having a Hijackal adult child is confusing, infuriating, disappointing, and frustrating among many other things. (And, it's worse when your child creates children!) What you DON'T do is as important as what you do. Listen to this episode to hear 21 things to think about right away. If you can refrain from doing these 21 things, you'll be empowered and no longer feel like a hostage to the Hijackal's bad behavior.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why learning to say no to a Hijackal is absolutely essentialNo matter what old patterns you may have established, they can changeHow Hijackals® want to insist that their bad behavior (if they ever admit they have any) is YOUR FAULTWhy these 21 things are HUGE and might take a while to put in place....AND, YOU'RE WORTH IT!How you can give your life away to a Hijackal and why that's a very bad ideaI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #narcissisticadultchild #narcissisticbully #parentofanarcissist #myadultchildisanarcissist #idon'tlikemyadultchild #youcansayno#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You may not think about it like that, AND, it's true. Narcissists ARE Revenge-Seekers. Whether the revenge is subtle or obvious, small or huge, it's still revenge. Once you see what I mean, you'll see it clearly in your relationship...and, I hope you won't un-see it! It's nasty.Revenge is the action of inflicting hurt or harm on someone for an injury or wrong you think they caused you. Hijackals® sometimes don't wait for you to do anything at all. There's just blame you anyway. Familiar? Yes, so they can be pursuing revenge for some slight they made up in their head while driving home. And, they believe their revenge is justified because they convinced themselves of the slight or threat...whether it happened or not! Yes, it IS nasty!HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:What revenge is Why Hijackals use itWhy you may have absolutely NO idea what they are upset about yet you're the one who is being discounted, put-down, dismissed, and violatedHow revenge relates to projectionHow projection worksThe third piece of the puzzle: rejection ....and around it goes again! I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #narcissistrevenge #narcissistprojection #narcissistrejection #rejection #projection #seesubtlerevenge#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You can get terrible stuck--for a very long time--by buying into a partner's potential. You can see how it could be, so you hope it will be. There's the mistake. See the differences today so you can make healthier decisions right away.Open your mind to the idea that you keep buying into promises that never materialize. Is that possible? When you step back and look at the patterns, it's often the case when dealing with Hijackals®, or other narcissistic people. They'll tell you anything to get you hooked in this moment, promise you so much. Does it ever happen? Honestly, no, right? HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why potential is not enoughBuying potential can bankrupt youBeing in denial about a partner or parent's manipulationsWays to tell if you are stuck on a partner's potential rather than seeing their realityGetting clear that things are not going to change in a positive way with a narcissistic person I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #denialaboutanarcissist #potentialisnothing #gettingreadytogetready #stuckbelievinglies #futurefaking#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's confusing. You see what you think are loving behaviors. Then, you start wondering, but give a narcissist the benefit of the doubt. Then, you're in a pattern where things have gone lop-sided, pear-shaped, and somewhat south before you realized that you've confused being used for being loved. SO IMPORTANT TO SEE THE DIFFERENCE! Listen in.You SO want to believe it is love. I understand that, however, you also don't want to be taken in by someone who never intends to love you in any meaningful way, right? That's why this episode is essential to listen to...even if you don't really want to. Nobody WANTS to admit they are being emotionally abused, but you can't change what you can't--or won't--see, right? HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:t0 clear ways narcissists use youSee the distinctions between being love and being usedImportance of recognizing when you're being usedHijackals® have uses for you, not love to give you I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #beingusedbyanarcissists #imfeelingused #narcissistsuseyou #imbeingusedbyanarcissist #nolovetogive #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Insults are a low, low form of expressing disagreement. Not strange that narcissists stoop that low, is it? Their incessant NEED to win means they will go low in hopes of winning quickly. Sad & nasty! Insults only show emotional immaturity. Think of the playground.Insults are the arguments employed by those who are in the wrong, said the philosopher, Rosseau. SO TRUE of narcissistic Hijackals!The philosopher, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, said "Insults are the arguments employed by those who are in the wrong." That certainly rings true in the case of narcissist's. They are more frightened of accountability that almost anything. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:the lack of emotional maturity in narcissistsWhy using insults appeals to Hijackals® so muchAn excellent quote from Jamie Raskin, "An insult is not substitute for an argument." July, 2023Why Hijackals and all narcissists try to distract with personal attacks and no logicRecognizing that insults are abusiveI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #insultisnosubstituteforanargument #lowformofdisagreement #lackofemotionalmaturity #distractfromaccountability #insultsareabusive #insultsonsocialmedia #personalattacks#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You want a best friend and a narcissist won't be one. You want a confidante and a narcissist uses your words against you. At best, Hijackals® are frenemies. You're unsafe around them. You feel the lack of safety, but sometimes you don't want to admit it. You recognize the friend/foe nature of them, and don't want it to be so. Listen in to why it is important to recognize that frenemies is as close as you will ever really get to them. Sad, I know, but REAL!If you have a Hijackal® in your life, you have a frenemy. No doubt about it! A frenemy is a person who combines the characteristics of a friends and an enemy. Once you know a Hijackal, you know that the "enemy" is always lurking. You cannot relax completely...if at all. They are ready to pounce unexpectedly. And, it hurts!HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:What frenemies areHow frenemies scare youWhy you're often afraid to get rid of a frenemy10 distinct kinds of frenemies (Oh, dear!)Make a decision about them....preferably now!I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #frenemies #frenemy #narcissistsarefrenemies #highpricetopayforlove #narcissisticfrenemy#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sure, narcissistic folks can be charming when you meet them. You just don't know what's lurking in the background, right? It can happen quickly that Hijackals® go from charming to manipulative, but it may take a while to catch on to what's going on. Basically, though, they are awkward, angry, and argumentative.In this episode, I talk about what "awkward" really means, and why it applies so well to the shenanigans of a Hijackal. Also, about why and the how the anger serves them, and results in you walking on eggshells. Once you see these things, you'll be better able to make good decisions for yourself about what to do about the behaviors.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Seeing narcissistic behavior clearlyHow narcissists are awkward as well as creating awkward situationsThe immature anger of narcissistic Hijackals4 ways to recognize the argumentative nature of narcissistsI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #narcissistsanger #argumentativenarcissist #hownarcissistsare #difficultpeople #seeingnarcissisticbehaviors#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In healthy situations, you would never think that empathy and compassion could have downsides, right? When you're with a Hijackal, a narcissistic, or other endlessly difficult person, you can find that you've stepped over into some strange land where empathy and compassion cause you to suffer. SO IMPORTANT to recognize when too much is too much and it's hurting you.You'll also benefit from the tips in this episode to help you keep your empathy and compassion in balance. Game-changer!It's a slow slipping away into taking care of the Hijackal's emotional demands and ignoring your own needs. You can lose yourself...even, abandon yourself. Listen in and avoid that. If you feel like you have already lost yourself, know that you can certainly come back from it, stronger. It takes work, and may be the best work of your life.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why too much empathy turns toxic and howThe toxicity of enablingThe problem of over-identifying with a Hijackal®Losing yourself to meet the demands of a HijackalReclaiming yourself after overgivingI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #toxiccompassion #toxicempathy #givingtoomuch #abandoningmyself #losingmyself #narcissisttakestoomuch #overgiving#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A BIG complaint I hear so often is that the partner of a narcissistic person--a Hijackal®--is blowing up their phone...daily. It's such a sign of things going sideways, and it slides into that territory too easily! How do you know when it's too frequent? Too unreasonable? Too disrespectful? Then, what can you do about it? Listen in. This is basic to your well-being....and, more importantly, your safety!In the beginning of a relationship, a person calls and you may be flattered: "They like me!" When you're with a person with narcissistic tendencies, they blow up your phone to control you, to exert power over you. That's a whole different kettle of fish, right? Listen in. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why narcissists think they need to know what you're doingWhen calling to check in with you changes to calling to check up on youHow narcissistic people think you "belong TO them" not "WITH them"Why blowing up your phone is nasty digital surveillanceSteps to take to stop--or reduce--the unnecessary calls I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #blowingupmyphone #digitalsurveillance #needforcontrol #controllingperson #drivingmecrazy #narcissistblowsupmyphone#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabu Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It is natural to want to be loved and love. We organically want to belong. Absolutely! It's healthy, too. However, narcissistic people and all Hijackals excel at manipulating you and your feelings for their own purposes.You give and give, and still it's not enough. Then, they tell you that their poor treatment of you is not abuse, it's because you're inadequate. (Sad.) Not true. You are being used--and abused (yes, abused)--when all you're long for is love, understanding, and inclusion. Narcissists exploit your desire for a healthy relationship. It's sad, nasty, and very manipulative.Listen in and find the words to describe what you're feeling and why..To EXPLOIT means "to make full use of or derive benefit from." Aren't Hijackals expecting things to work for their benefit all the time? There's no equality in that.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why it's natural to want to belong and feel part of a community/relationshipJohn O'Donohue's words on belongingUnderstanding ways you may be being exploited by a Hijackal, a narcissist, or other difficult personWhy you might argue that you're not being exploitedWhy you cannot live up to a narcissist's idealized version of you-Why narcissists are more interested in using you than loving youHow Hijackals fail to see who you really are (aside from the fact that they don't care to!) I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #beingexploitedbyanarcissist #naturaltowanttobelong #lookingforlove #beingexploitedinthenameoflove #johnodonohue#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabu Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ever feel your head spin when you're trying to express your feelings, thoughts, wants, or needs to a Hijackal? Of course, you have. That's because they are masters of this phenomena know as WhatAboutIsm or WhatAboutery. It's a powerful defense and deflection strategy narcissists use to confuse! Learn what it sounds like because you already know what it feels like. When you recognize it and name it for yourself, you can refuse to play along with it again. The Hijackals defense mechanisms can be SO infuriating and frustrating. There SO many defense mechanisms It's crazy-making, and whataboutism is one of the most crazy-making. Learn more about that in this episode...and, what to do in the face of it.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why Hijackals® use whataboutismWhat "whataboutism" is and how it is definedHow whataboutism a dysfunctional defense mechanismHow whataboutism creates an instant double standardWhy hypocrites practice whataboutismWhat to do in the moment that you recognize whayaboutism is happeningI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #whataboutism #whataboutery #defensemechanism #narcissisticbehavior #narcissistaccountability #narcissistisconfusing#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

People ask so often: Do narcissists and other HIjackals know that they are being mean, difficult, coercive, dismissive, and more? You want to know. In this episode, I'll lay it out and explain it all, ONCE AND FOR ALL. Listen and take it in because knowing this answer can change your relationship forever.When you recognize what the narcissist or any other Hijackal does on purpose, you'll be affirmed that what you are thinking IS what is happening. Hijackals like to keep you as isolated as possible. They want to have power over you, and they do that by causing you to second-guess yourself and think you really are as flawed as they insist you are. Nasty!Do they know they are mean? Do they choose to be mean? Do they recognize the pain they cause? Find out in this episodeHIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Do narcissists hurt partners on purpose?Do narcissists plan to hurt you?Why a narcissist chooses to hurtHow a narcissist choose who to hurtWhy knowing this can change everything I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #donarcissistshurtonpurpose #howanarcissisthurtsme #doesanarcissistknow #narcissistsaware #hurtmeonpurpose #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rigid thinking and what-about-ism are seriously linked. Know someone who is rigid in their thinking? They are RIGHT and that's all there is to it? And, if you don't agree with them, you're wrong...and, that there is something wrong with you? Hijackals® do that! Even entertaining your thoughts or feelings for a hot second is not on their playlist. Learn how pervasive this is so that you can clearly see it happening and make good decisions about the relationship.What-about-ism relates directly to rigid thinking. People who are narcissistic convince themselves that they hold the only true and right opinions, judgments, perspectives, and objectives. No one else is right. In this episode, I talk about why this is SO important to narcissistic Hijackals of all stripes. Do you recognize these in the relationship you have in mind just now? HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:What rigid thinking isHow rigid thinking shows up in a relationship with a narcissistRigid thinking vs all-or-nothing thinkingWhy Hijackals need to believe they are right11 ways rigid thinking shows upHow what-about-ism relates to rigid thinking I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #whataboutism #whataboutery #rigidthinkingofnarcissists #mustberight #alwaysright #rigidthinkers #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Maybe, you're too nice. You fawn. You'll do anything to keep the peace...or, at least, sidestep potential rage if you can. Peace at any price, you may say. Maybe, you find yourself fawning. (Hear more about that in the episode, too!) Emotional abusers appreciate fawning. It's easier for them and they don't care about you. ESSENTIAL to see these dynamics clearly if they are playing out in any relationship in your life. When you do, you can take steps to change the patterns. There's nothing wrong with being nice, but TOO NICE can set you up for emotional abuse. Listen to the 10 Whys. Emotional abusers--Hijackals--are emotionally lazy, so they prefer people-pleasers who are already trained and groomed to defer to them and their views, wants, and demands. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:What happens when you're taught to be too niceWhy Hijackals® expect--and prefer--you to fawn over themWhat fawning is in a relationship with a narcissistic person10 WHYS Emotional abusers prefer people-pleasersUnconscious habits of respond to people who are emotionally abusiveI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #emotionalabusers #fawing #Idontmatter #fawningresponse #beingtoonice #tooaccommodating #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Narcissistic people starve you in so many ways. Every now and again a narcissist--a Hijackal--is kind, offers a compliment, or shows interest in your feelings. THOSE ARE CRUMBS. You may be so starved that those crumbs feel like a feast. You make a big deal of it, and think the world has reset in your favor. NO! The Hijackal wants something from you and knows how to get it. It's important to see this clearly.Emotional malnutrition is real. Malnutrition is the state of you end up in when you live with constant deficiencies, excesses, and imbalances in your intake. You don't get enough of what is life-giving and healthy. You get too much of what is depriving, degrading, and discounting. AND, nothing is every in a healthy state of balance. NOT GOOD ENOUGH! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:You find yourself starving for love, attention, acceptance, and validationWhy you get used to breadcrumbsWhy Hijackals will never engage in equalityHave you made yourself into a pretzel to try to please a HIjackal®?Hijackals want you to be a doormat and then make you wrong for being one. Familiar? I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #emotionalmalnutrition #putdownbyanarcissist #settlingforless #takingabuse #speakinguptoabuse #notgoodenough #settlingforcrumbs#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So infuriating! Endlessly frustrating! Trying to talk with a narcissistic person--or any Hijackal--can be crazy-making. It usually is if you dare to even remotely want to discuss the dynamics of your relationship. You've likely been upset by their purposeful misunderstanding of what you say, what you do, and what you want. Why do they do it? What can you do about it? Listen in.Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult people who hijack relationships for their own needs--have to "on top" and "winning" all the time. That means that they are always on both the offensive and the defensive. One way they do that is to purposefully misunderstand what you say, do, need, and want. Their need to be right and have it their way means that you must be wrong. So, they purposefully misunderstand you in order for them to "win." Or, think they did.Figure this out and see it clearly now. It will save you headaches and heartaches.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Misunderstanding you is convenient for themMisunderstanding you is a redirect of a conversation they don't want to have6 Ways narcissists purposefully misunderstand you5 reasons why they purposefully misunderstand youWhat you can do when you see the patternI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #purposefullymisunderstand #beingignoredbyanarcissist #narcissistchangesmywords #feelingmisunderstoodbyanarcissist#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you exhausted by running after pleasing someone who seems dedicated to never being pleased? That's WALKING ON EGGSHELLS. That's the game. You do everything as right as you think they want it, and you are never rewarded by getting it right. Sound Familiar? Narcissists and other Hijackals are looking for power, and one way they think works for this (because it usually does) is by withholding approval. That makes you run faster, they hope. Join me and find out how to stop getting your exercise on the Hijackal treadmill! .Hijackals® want you to always feel not good enough, less than in as many ways as possible. Narcissists want to feel more powerful, more in control, and more important than you every minute. So, it leads to you walking on eggshells...and, that's not good. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why walking on eggshells is SO exhaustingYou try to make things better, and they don't7 signs you're walking on eggshellsWhy narcissists want you to feel not good enoughWhy getting your exercise by walking on eggshells needs to be unacceptable I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #walkingoneggshells #feelingnotgoodenough #allowedtobreathe #feelingdiscounted #myfeelingsdontmatter#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

... and that is unhealthy -- for YOU.Healthy relationships have equality, reciprocity, and mutuality. Toxic relationships do not. You will be coping tooooo much, and in balance tooooo little.Does that sound familiar? You could be giving your life away to a narcissist with nothing but promises in return. Listen in to this episode and find out what's true for you.To cope is defined as "to deal effectively with something" (Oxford) or to "deal with and attempt to overcome problems and difficulties." When you have to do that ALL the time because you're with a person, partner, or parent who demands it, it's exhausting. Sure, we can cope with emergencies. That's normal and healthy. BUT, COPING all the time? NOOOOOO! That's what it feels like when you're with a narcissistic Hijackal, right? Everything is an emergency that you have to deal with: their emergencies, needs, demands, or directives.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why coping is an interim strategy, NOT a lifestyleWhen you find yourself running to please someone else, you can lose yourselfWhy it's important to see the narcissistic behavior clearlyHijackals don't change except for a hot minute when they want something from youIdentify if you are exhausted from coping with a narcissist for yearsI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #copingisexhausting #narcissistisdemanding #hijackalisdemanding #copingskillsexhausted #copingistoomuch#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SO FRUSTRATING! When you are with a narcissist or any kind of a Hijackal, you know that they use these three tactics to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. Hijackals hate accountability, and will do anything to squirm out of it. They lie, delay, and deny. But why? You likely have many ideas about why and I wanted to give you others. Hopefully, these insights will help you to see the depth of the insecurity and instability that is basic to narcissistic people. Yes, they don't seem insecure but they are. They often cover it well with arrogance and entitlement, however, it's still there and operating under the surface. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Narcissistic people need to put on a good show...and a false frontWhy lying, delaying, and denying helps narcissists and other Hijackals think they are in control and have power over you.The futility of thinking that narcissistic people will changeThe infuriating denial to make themselves rightWhat's up with the plausible lies and plausibe denialsI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #narcissistslie #narcissistlies #narcissistdenies #narcissistdelays #narcissistscontrol #controllingthenarrative #plausiblelies#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's tempting. You may think you're being "nice." After a while, you're doing all the giving. Then, it's exhausting!Why does this dynamic happen? Why does it persist? What can you do to stop it? Listen in.In the beginning of a relationship with a narcissist, you may think you've found your perfect, ideal, longed for mater. Things shift. Things sour. Things take a turn and the narcissist--Hijackal®--wants more and more while they give less and less. All the while, the narcissist also becomes more demanding. Does this sound familiar? You can give everything you have in every possible way and it may never be enough, or good enough, to please a narcissist because they believe in withholding love and approval. Sad. Nasty. That's why you'll want to gain clarity by listening to this episode.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Narcissistic people give FAR LESS than they take, especially in emotional real estate.Recognizing that you are doing all the work.Giving up being hooked on hope that a narcissist will change, a HIjackal will changeTaking back your energy and reclaiming your powerI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #goingtheextramile #doingtoomuchforanarcissist #cateringtoanarcissist #narcissistexpectstoomuch #narcissistwithholds #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Yes, narcissistic people are self-centered, but does the reverse hold true? Are self-centered people always narcissistic? Important distinctions here that can help you understand the troubling folks in your life. Or, do you think it's a distinction without a difference? Listen in and see what you discover. In this episode, I offer you ten ways to see the differences between self-centered people and narcissistic people. These ten distinctions can be VERY helpful if you're wondering whether to stay in a relationship with a partner, parent, sibling, or friend, or to break away. That's valuable! HINT: One of them can and will change, the other? Not at all likely!We're all self-centered at some time...or wishing we could be. There's nothing wrong with wanting to have your turn in the sun. The operant word, though is "turn." Hijackals want to have all the "turns," right?HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:10 ways self-centered people are different than narcissistic peopleWhy it is important to see the distinctions between self-centered and narcissistic peopleThe part empathy plays in the distinctionsWhen there is entitlement, it changes the dynamicI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #selcenteredvsnarcissistic #selfabsorbed #narcissistic #differencebetweenselfcenteredandnarcissistic #empathy #entitled #entitlment #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hijackals insist you're not good enough...even though they chose you or gave birth to you. What's up with that!@##%%!? It's crazy-making and it's important to understand why this happens. And, why it continues throughout the relationship unless you change. It's not OK.This episode will help you clearly see through this crazy-making habit of emotional abuse: making you feel not good enough. It serves the Hijackal but it does not serve you. Understand these things so you can make positive changes right away.When someone needs to put you down in order to feel better about themselves, there's trouble. That's what happening with narcissistic Hijackals. They may you feel:"I'm constantly being put down.""They make me feel not good enough.""I am exhausted and feel worn down.""I'm losing my ability to think clearly about myself.""Am I really a terrible person?""Am I the problem in this relationship?"That's JUST what a Hijackal® wants you to be thinking. Let's change that!!! Listen in.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why this quote is significant: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt How making you feel not good enough is key to gaining coercive controlWhy you may need to change your internal dialogueWhy Hijackals and other narcissists like to amplify and magnify the message that you're not enoughI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #notgoodenough #needtoputmedown #givemenocredit #emotionallyimmature #narcissisticfear#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's SO helpful to recognize the underlying resentments triggered in both a Hijackal AND their partner. Some may surprise you! Recognition leads to understanding which helps you to know your next best steps. Resentment is rife in all relationships with Hijackals...on both sides, too. You may feel it. Now, explore why and what's under that. Why? So you move forward wisely.Both Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult people with narcissistic tendencies--and the person with whom they share a relationship will feel resentment. Very different reasons, but the same final result. It's important to learn the distinctions. It will help you understand why a relationship with a Hijackal is unlikely to sustain positive changes over time. Living in and with resentment coming towards you or coming from within you is consuming...and, not in a good way. Listen in!HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Hijackals operate from resentment much of the timeNon-Hijackals live with resentment and often repress expressing itWhy you need to see these distinctions about resentment, rage and repression clearlyWhat you can do to take your next best steps after recognizing the presence of rage, repression and resentmentI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #rage #repression #repressedrage #resentment #simmeringresentment #resentmentandrage#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Don't Lose or Abandon Yourself!Narcissistic people want all the attention as well as all the air in the room, right? You can find yourself giving it to them in hopes of them treating you better or liking/loving you more. Turn this around. Listen in to why you need to turn the focus on yourself and turn away from trying to please the narcissist.This episode is very specifically focused on your relationship with a Hijackal, or any narcissistic person. It is based on the dynamic that the Hijackal wants to continuously create and how it is different from a healthy relationship. Hijackals are NOT self-reflective. You know that. You can lose yourself in meeting the demands, or believing the accusations of a narcissistic person, right? It usually happens slowly over time. Listen in to recognize if it's time for you to turn things around and go in a healthier direction for yourself (and your children.)HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why this episode focuses on a very specific kind of relationship. Check that out!3 Must-Haves of a Healthy Adult Relationship = Episode 115Why you want to keep balance in any relationship regarding power, status, and controlRecognizing when it's time to stop researching about toxic relationships and START making changesNever let anyone habitually degrade, discount, or dismiss your needs, wants, feelings, or thought! I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #abandonmyself #losemyself #demandingnarcissist #selfcare #reclaimingmyself #reclaimmypower#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

No Object Constancy Creates Constant ThreatsObject constancy is very much missing in a relationship with a narcissistic Hijackal, and it's an essential ingredient of a healthy relationship. In this episode, I explain what it is and what happens when it's missing.Does your relationship feel like juggling jello? It will if you have a Hijackal in it!!!Learn how to see and understand what's missing in your relationship that causes SO much tension and second-guessing. You may be blaming yourself as well as being blamed by the Hijackal, and IT'S NOT TRUE! That's why thinking about this important concept of "object constancy" helps you to understand why you feel so pushed around by the extremes of the Hijackal. Fancy name for a very important concept!HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why life seems so unpredictable with a narcissistic personHow things so easily go from getting along to being threatened with being left and you feel blind-sidedHow life with a Hijackal is like "juggling Jello" (Ever felt that way?)What "object constancy" is and why it answers big questions about the way Hijackals areHow uncertainty becomes a constant in a relationship with a HijackalI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #objectconstancy #wholeobjectrelations #beingthreatened #feelingthreatened #beingleft #neverfeelclose#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.