Podcasts about rhoberta

This audio was recorded in 2006, long before Hijackals became Dr. Shaler's focus. Rethinking Selfishness: "What if I told you that I now value selfishness? Would that be shocking? Not only do I value it, but I encourage others to value it and practice it."In this first of our upcoming Legacy Files, Dr. Shaler explores the often misunderstood concept of selfishness and redefines it as a positive force. Throughout our lives, many of us have been taught that being selfish is wrong. However, Dr. Shaler encourages us to reconsider this notion, advocating for a type of selfishness that empowers us to better care for ourselves and, in turn, more genuinely care for others.She delves into how practicing what she terms "positive selfishness" can actually increase our self-esteem, improve our personal freedom, and enhance our abilities to contribute to the world. In this discussion, we'll unpack the differences between detrimental selfishness and beneficial self-focus, explore the importance of setting boundaries, and debunk the myth that loving oneself is an act of neglect towards others. Join us as we lean into learning how to be positively selfish, and why it is crucial not just for personal happiness, but also for fostering healthier relationships.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~We are deeply saddened to share that Dr. Shaler passed away unexpectedly on April 3, 2024.She left peacefully and without any further discomfort, full of grace. Rhoberta worked hard to maintain her energy to continue offering time and wisdom to clients, members, and strangers alike, who found her voice and demeanor comforting and strengthening as you each faced difficult and overwhelming experiences. We know it was very hard for her to let go enough to leave her clients and fans behind, and that serving you all was her greatest joy. If you need some time with her, please visit her youtube channel (youtube.com/@forrelationshiphelp) or listen to other episodes in this podcast. There is a wealth more information among all her body of work, that has not yet made it into the world. We will continue to surface this additional material and content from her deep archive to allow her voice and strength to continue helping you all. Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whether you're looking for a new friend or a potential new relationship, you don't want to be trauma dumping. When you let your whole story fly, someone else is likely to get crushed by it.Out of the gate, with someone new, it's smart to establish a relationship dynamic based on balance, mutual sharing, and emotional maturity. Oversharing personal traumas can burden the budding relationship and skew its potential for growth.Whether you're single, dating, or looking to improve your emotional connections, this episode of #saveyoursanitypodcast share strategies and practices you need, to proceed with care and confidence.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:New Relationships and Emotional BaggageUnderstanding Drama Dumping and Trauma DumpingEmotional Health and Relationship DynamicsBuilding Emotional MaturityDating After a Toxic RelationshipI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#dramadumping #traumadumping #narcissistsbehaveliketoddlers #traumadumpingredflag #dramadumpingattractcshijackals#narcissistsbreakpromises #canttrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SOOO frustrating! You hoped for a partner, parent, sibling, or adult child with whom you could communicate, collaborate, and co-operate, but no. You live most of the time with q tiresome toddler or miserable middle schooler, right?Learn more about recognizing the patterns and altering your expectations now.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:#Hijackals are emotionally immature.Check your expectations when you approach a narcissist. Expecting equality? Oops!Often feel you're talking to a tiresome toddler or demanding teenager when you try to reason with a Hijackal?Why you need to do your own work to make good decisions about what to do about the HijackalI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#narcicisstsareemotionallyimmature #emotionallyimmature #hijjackalsareemotionallyimmature #narcissistsbehaveliketoddlers #narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Narcissists ask for too much...and they expect to get it. It's essential to hear that a question is outrageous so you can respond differently. If you've been with a Hijackal for too long, you may have stopped hearing their questions as outrageous; This episode will sharpen your listening skills and increase your sensitivity to questions that are intrusive, violating, and need a solid NO answer.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Listen for outrageous questions. You may have become used to them,Narcissists want power over you.Meaning of 'coercive control"Learn to diffuse the outrageous question,I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#learntosayno #saynotosadsm #saynotomysogyny #saynotoqhmakesmeuncomfotable#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Being with a narcissistic person is scary, right? You are usually wrong...even when you're right!. You never know what mood they'll be in. They lie, gaslight, rage, and fall silent. They are intimidating! They keep you on edge! What can you do to reduce the intimidation? Listen to this episode. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Narcissistic people are likely to engage in several kinds of abuse: verbal, physical, sexual, financial, emotional or spiritual Hijackals use intimidation as a quick way to win, or silence someoneChange your perspective and stop allowing yourself to be les than equal.Use the Personal Weather Report to your advantage I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#narcissstiintimitation #respondingtointimidation #stayingcalmwhennarcissistsareangry#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can't do anything wrong? Get away with nonsense? Get extra goodies? Attention? Time?Might sound good but it can get old fast and leave you with very poor self-esteem and a lack of identity. Have a sibling who is the Golden Child? You envied them and now you se them differently? VERY IMPORTANT EPISODE to straighten your thinking about yourself and others who were treated as Golden Children growing up.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why being the Golden Child is not a great rolehelp to understand the downsides of being raised by a narcissistic parentRecognize the lasting effects of being the Golden Child or Scapegoat child in a narcissistic familyGiving up the "overachiever" role given to you by your family dynamicI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#goldenchilldinfamily #goldenchildonlychild #goldenchildrepresentsfamily #goldenchildscapgoatlostchild#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Narcissists love it when you run after their approval. You hope to explain yourself and be heard; they hope to explain you away. In this episode are five iron-clad reasons to not even try to please a Hijackal - save your energy, save your time, save your self-esteem.Listen in.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Hijackals want you to please themThey make it very difficult to doWhy narcissists always need to be rightRefusing to remember the truth makes things impossibleI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#narcissistisalwaysright #hijackalalwaysright #narcissistslie #hijackalslie #narcissistsmustwin#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You want someone--at least one someone--to hear you, see you, believe you. So you share. Sadly, that often turns into oversharing, leaving you a little red-faced. if you fully embarrassed a little later, right? "Why did I do that?" There are good reasons you overshare. Don't beat yourself up for it. Listen in to understand the "whys" and stick around for the "why nots!" so you can make positive changes in what you share and with whom. You can stop oversharing, and still be heard when you talk with the right people. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:The longing to be knownThe desire to have an allyTrusting the wrong person for the right reasonsDisappointed and betrayed while looking for a friendTaking care of yourself in ways you didn't know you'd need to I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#oversharing #feelinginvisible #wantingtobeheard #flyingmonkeys #givinggossip #falseintimacy#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Steps to emotional freedom require knowing where the path starts. These five "must-haves" are fundamental to saving your sanity, self-esteem, and self-confidence.Know the importance of each of these and how to keep them top of mind. Develop enough strength to follow the "healthier human" path to avoid being sucked down the "Hijackal human" one. YOU CAN!! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:How to not get sucked into Hijackal dramaGaining perspective about how the narcissist's mind worksCreating emotional distance when the narcissist is accusing youDr. Shaler's most important mantra for saving your sanityI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#narcississticprojection #observenarcissisticbehavior #emotionaldistance #safefromanarcissist #narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, how Hijackals love to poke, prod, and provoke you into losing it and reacting, right? And then they like to wind you up further so you'll yell, blame, complain, and meltdown. Crazy-making?Yes, INTENTIONALLY CRAZY-MAKING!Learn ways to not go there, to not react, to not behave like the Hijackal...or the way the Hijackal wants to manipulate you into behaving, How to choose control and calm instead. Yay!HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Nasty, manipulate way to make you out to be the abuser - Don't let it happen.Be careful: Hijackals and other narcissists attempt "reactive abuse" to keep you feeling wrong, thoughtless, confused, and small. DoNT't let them!Hijackals like to push you to reactive abuse when you are out with other people. Some do it to make a reason to call the police and make a scene. Don't let them. I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#reactiveabuse @coercivecontrol #avoidreactiveabuse #narciccistprojectionnarcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Narcissistic Hijackals know what you want. Yet, they withhold giving it to you. They know what you need. Yet, they refuse to fulfill it. They know how to make you happy, but prefer disappointing you.Think deeply about these five "would be good" things narcissists promise but fail to deliver...and, they do it very deliberately. There are real deal-breakers...when you actually see them. Listen in. Don't be fooled by the promises!!!HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:5 good things that Hijackals promise you, that they won't deliver onWhy you need to be VERY clear that you are thinking you are being promised something that you will NEVER receive....except for a hot minute now and again!Why mutuality is critical to a loving relationshipThe most unlikely promises that won't be fulfilled....so sad.I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You want to be able to trust a person, right? It's natural. It's healthy. Yet, you cannot trust narcissists or any variation of Hijackal. And, I know you want to. In this episode, hear the many ways you CANNOT trust them, even when you want to. Hear ways you convince yourself you can believe them, and why you must stop. Yep, it's hard sometimes. But, if you trust them, you're diving into crazy-making even further...and, that's never a good thing. Join in.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Trust is a hallmark of a healthy relationship....and relationships with narcissists are unhealthy!Why Hijackals are untrustworthy....narcissists, tooHow narcissists take advantage of you...over and over and over.Why narcissists won't compromiseStop giving them another chance.I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#nevertrustanarcissst #canitrustanarcissist #donttrustanarcissist #wasteyearsofmylife #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Little by little, nasty, bitter, unfair things start becoming part of the day-to-day with a narcissist. Those Hijackals are relentless in wearing you down and getting their way, right?You might pass it off as another "little thing to avoid" to reduce the abuse. WHAT? You're doing things to reduce the abuse rather than set boundaries and making plans to leave? SEE HOW SNEAKY IT ALL IS? Don't miss these ten main "features" of narcissistic emotional abuse!!HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:You can get used to being emotionally abused...and, that's not good!Failing to see abuse as abuse is dangerous.Among the top ten forms of frequent emotional abuse10 ways you can get used to being emotionally abused without actually noticingI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#emotionallyabused #usedtobeingabused #seeingemotionalabuse #beingusedandabused#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Some Hijackals are subtle, some are sneaky. All are to keep your relationship in chaos, preferably with you giving in to their whims, demands, and expectations. Most of all, they want to be in charge and in control of all the things. Be informed. See them for what and who they are.They are always wanting to create a fracas, a commotion, an upset, and a mess. When you can see what they're up to, it's easier to see their ploys, tricks, and defaults. Then you an choose your responses in healthier ways.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Hijackals, narcissists, anti-socials: all need to win and be right27 mean ways they try to keep things chaotic, emotionallyHijackals love a fracas, a noisy disturbance or quarrel, about anythingDo everything in your power to avoid responding with reactive abuseI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#sneakynarcissist #nastynarcissist #narciccistsaaretroublesome #reativeabuse #seeinganarcissist#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalab Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When you're on guard every minute, hypervigilant about the next accusation, you might think I'm suggesting something impossible...maybe even crazy. I'm not.It's important to recognize that you can stay in charge of yourself, no matter what kind of crazy-making the Hijackal or narcissist engages in.Difficult? Yes, but not impossible. Worthwhile? Definitely!Learn this invaluable approach to taking good care of yourself, even though you may be rattled daily by a Hijackal now.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Be hard on issues, Soft on self.Why Hijackals may NOT harden your heart: you won't give them your permission!Harden your attitude towards the Hijackal, but keep your heart safe.Hijackals don't care who they hurt.Do your best not to take it personally.I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#hardenmyheart #hardenmyattitude #narcissiststakeandtake #hardenmyattitudetothenarcissist #heartopen#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You may think that it's impossible to be "too nice." It's not. It actually can make things worse...and that's just what it does when you're in a relationship with a narcissistic Hijackal.You do all the giving and then, more is expected, right? Not working! Listen in to recognize the ways being "too nice" works against you.Hijackals LOVE to take advantage of someone who will fall all over themselves to keep the Hijackal happy. Remember, though, the Hijackal is dedicated to never being happy for more than a hot minute...if that. Then, it will be right back to blaming you for everything.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:People-pleasing can be part of being "too nice" and can lead to chronic codependencyDon't let someone else's opinion of you matter more than your own opinion on youHijackals will find fault with you no matter how nice you are and how much you do for them5 ways Healthier Humans behave differently than Hijackal HumansI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#beinbtoonice #peoplepleasing #notspeakingup #afraidofdisagreement #feellikeadoormat #tooniceisunhealthy#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Most people want to believe the stories of others. You want to be able to trust, right? So, you're inclined to be sucked in by plausible stories, excuses, reasons, etc.. Also, you don't want the hassle of their endless denials and turning things on you.Learn how plausibility is the key to turning this into healthier interactions to stop the crazy-making. Listen in and get away.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:plausible = seeming reasonable, probable, or persuasive...or NOT!How a plausible story is a slippery story: could be equally true or untrue"Plausible Deniability" = the sneaky way to deny knowledge of a responsibility or to be accountable for somethingWhy Hijackals like things that have no evidenceAnd, why Hijackals HATE EVIDENCE!Your best antidote to plausible deniability: the personal weather reportI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#plausibledeniability #plausiblelie #plausiblestory #naariccistneedstowin#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're a good person. You want to see the best in folks. You are right ready to help someone excuse their poor behavior, and be understanding. Hijackals count on that! They treat you poorly to see how much you'll put up with.It's often not long into the relationship before they're taking up all the space....and you're gasping for air, dying to be heard.BE CLEAR ABOUT THESE 12 TRAITS. See them. Believe them. Don't expect them to change.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:There are many more than twelve traits of narcissistic HijackalsYou may be too emotionally exhausted to see these clearly anymore, SO it's important to listen to this episodeWhy it's important to recognize these traits and make decisions to set boundaries that keep you saferHow sabotage, undermining, and threats relateWhy "belittling" is SO damagingI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#gaslighting #manipulating #redirectingconversations #projection #sabotage relationship #belittling #narcissistslying #disrespectingapartner#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Narcissists and other Hijackals are infuriating, frustrating, and crazy-making. You reach the end of your tether and you want to tell them everything that's wrong with them and more. You've likely noticed that nothing good happens when you accuse them of being narcissistic,, point out their flaws, or ask them to change. What's much ore likely to happen is that they explode, spilling their nastiness in every direction. MAXIMUM AGGRESSION. Listen to this episode to understand why and how to stop poking the Hijackal. You'll feel better when you stop. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Big link between narcissism and aggressionNarcissists don't take much provocation to be nasty, blaming, and shaming.Narcissistic aggression is not caused by you, nor is it your faultHijackals are entitled, thin-skinned, and owners of fragile egos.Both male and female narcissists are equally aggressive , though , it may show up in different ways.Why you are best to step back and observe the Hijackal behavior rather than participate with it.I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#aggressivebehavior #narcissistsareaggressive #passiveaggression #activeaggression #endingaggression #saynotoaggression#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You want to believe that love can change people, right? So, you give, give, and give in yet nothing really gets better beyond a half minute. You decide to give more until there is little left of you. Nothing changes...except for getting worse. That's because their decision to change has nothing to do with it And, worse...they have no interest in changing to make things better. Listen in to realize the many reasons WHY this is so, and WHY it's so hard to believe people who think and behave in narcissistic Hijackal ways exist...and see no reason to care how they affect you. ESSENTIAL TO RECOGNIZE!IGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why you want to believe a narcissistic person can changeHow believing a narcissistic person can change and investing it it robs you of time for healthier thingsHow a Hijackal manipulates you into thinking it's your job to please them and take care of themWhy you might stay TOO LONG in an unhealthy relationship with a narcissistWhy it is essential to see a toxic relationship for what it is: UNHEALTHYI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#stopkiddingyourself #believinganarcissist #narcissistbehavesbadly #narcissistsgetworse #getawayfromamarcissist#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Male and female children are differently treated--and affected--by having a narcissistic mother. SO many things you may never have thought much about!This episode will help you think in different ways about the long-term effects that having a Hijackal mother could have had on your sense of self, your self-confidence, your resilience...AND on your relationships. Use this episode to help you uncover hidden pieces SO you can turn them around and feel clearer and stronger.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Narcissistic mothers treat their sons and daughters differentlyWhy you may have learned to have no needs...or deny the ones you haveHow you were mothered shifts your responses in relationshipThe impact of lowering your expectations of having your needs metWhy it's important to purposefully examine what happened to you...and its impactI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#havinganarcissisticmother #impactofanarcissisticmother #effectsofanarcissisticparent #beingtoonice#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Unless they want something badly, narcissists want you to be in emotional chaos. In fact, they want you to feel less than and inadequate. Back-handed and blindsiding, they do their best to keep you off center and uncertain. Learn about toxic shame and how it may be playing out in your inner dialogue and in your relationship with a narcissistic parent and/or partner. See it so you can stop it!HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:What is toxic shame?How is toxic shame different from "normal" shame?How do I know if I've experienced toxic shame?Why narcissists are so likely to pass along the toxic shame they live beneathWhy everything threatens a narcissistWhat narcissist do with toxic shame and why you need to know so you can avoid itI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#toxicshame #whydonarcissistsshameme #whatistoxicshame #guiltvsshame#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New! Your questions are the focus for this episode. Narcissistic or not so much? What are you wondering about? Recognizing the patterns, traits and cycles that ARE narcissistic is wise...AND so is discerning what is NOT narcissistic. Ask your questions in the chat and I'll answer them as clearly as I can. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Questions from audience about narcissistic traits Are alcoholics likely to be narcissistic?Do narcissists often have alcoholic tendencies?What about a nitpicky boss?When a man frequently cuts me off mid-sentence, is that a narcissistic?I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#isthisnarcissistic #whatanarcissistdoes #narcissistictraits #ismypartneranarcissist#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

TRIANGULATION. See It. Say No, Step Away,. Understanding what triangulation really is allows you to see it more clearly and step away more readily. Get the inside scoop on this in your life. Once you see it, you can do something about it. You'll feel SO much better when you do.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:What triangulation isWhy narcissistic people use triangulationHow to recognize the abuse of triangulationHow to step away, and say NO more oftenTaking back your power in small ways from a narcissistic relationshipYou often feel the triangulation before your recognize what's happening. A twisted story about you comes to you, and you're tempted to think it's a misunderstanding. When it comes from a narcissistic source, it's usually very purposeful; intended to confuse, concern, and create chaos. Does this sound familiar? Learn about the purposes of triangulation and how to catch it faster; how to redirect it and reduce the confusion.I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #triangulationismanipulation #whynarcstriangulate #howtostepawayfromanarcissist #rejectingemotionalabuse#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Narcissists HATE to hear "NO!" You don't want to be a pretzel or a doormat, so you NEED to say NO when you mean it. Overtime, a Hijackal® may wear you down and try to get what they want by any means. How do you make NO mean NO...and make it stick? You already know how little a Hijackal® wants to be denied. A "NO" means that to them and they don't take it happily...or lying down. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Understand what a "NO" signals to a HijackalWhy narcissists hate haring "NO"What you can do to become assertivePracticing saying "NO"Making it stick require sticking with itI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #sayingnotoanarcissist #nonnegotiable #asolidno #makenocount #whynarcissistshateno #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's all rosy, dreamy, and forever in the beginning...until it's not! You try and try to recapture interest, regain emotional intimacy, and re-examine every inch of your mental, physical, emotional self, and still the connection is intermittent. That's because narcissists--all Hijackals--create situationships NOT relationships. You NEED the clarity of this distinction to really accept the realities of a Hijackal relationship. It helps a lot! Calibrate if you're settling for a situationship. Great place to start! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why it's important to distinguish between a relationship and a situationship25 ways relationships are different from situationships....AND situationships will seldom become relationshipsUnsettling things you need to know--even if you don't want to know--to clarify why your supposed "relationship" never feels fully OKCan a situationship become a relationship? (Hint: rarely, if it's with a narcissistic Hijackal....AND I MEAN VERY RARELY! I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #situationship #situationsvsrelationship #amIinarelationship #amiina situationship #noequality #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Having a Hijackal adult child is confusing, infuriating, disappointing, and frustrating among many other things. (And, it's worse when your child creates children!) What you DON'T do is as important as what you do. Listen to this episode to hear 21 things to think about right away. If you can refrain from doing these 21 things, you'll be empowered and no longer feel like a hostage to the Hijackal's bad behavior.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why learning to say no to a Hijackal is absolutely essentialNo matter what old patterns you may have established, they can changeHow Hijackals® want to insist that their bad behavior (if they ever admit they have any) is YOUR FAULTWhy these 21 things are HUGE and might take a while to put in place....AND, YOU'RE WORTH IT!How you can give your life away to a Hijackal and why that's a very bad ideaI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #narcissisticadultchild #narcissisticbully #parentofanarcissist #myadultchildisanarcissist #idon'tlikemyadultchild #youcansayno#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You may not think about it like that, AND, it's true. Narcissists ARE Revenge-Seekers. Whether the revenge is subtle or obvious, small or huge, it's still revenge. Once you see what I mean, you'll see it clearly in your relationship...and, I hope you won't un-see it! It's nasty.Revenge is the action of inflicting hurt or harm on someone for an injury or wrong you think they caused you. Hijackals® sometimes don't wait for you to do anything at all. There's just blame you anyway. Familiar? Yes, so they can be pursuing revenge for some slight they made up in their head while driving home. And, they believe their revenge is justified because they convinced themselves of the slight or threat...whether it happened or not! Yes, it IS nasty!HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:What revenge is Why Hijackals use itWhy you may have absolutely NO idea what they are upset about yet you're the one who is being discounted, put-down, dismissed, and violatedHow revenge relates to projectionHow projection worksThe third piece of the puzzle: rejection ....and around it goes again! I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #narcissistrevenge #narcissistprojection #narcissistrejection #rejection #projection #seesubtlerevenge#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You can get terrible stuck--for a very long time--by buying into a partner's potential. You can see how it could be, so you hope it will be. There's the mistake. See the differences today so you can make healthier decisions right away.Open your mind to the idea that you keep buying into promises that never materialize. Is that possible? When you step back and look at the patterns, it's often the case when dealing with Hijackals®, or other narcissistic people. They'll tell you anything to get you hooked in this moment, promise you so much. Does it ever happen? Honestly, no, right? HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why potential is not enoughBuying potential can bankrupt youBeing in denial about a partner or parent's manipulationsWays to tell if you are stuck on a partner's potential rather than seeing their realityGetting clear that things are not going to change in a positive way with a narcissistic person I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #denialaboutanarcissist #potentialisnothing #gettingreadytogetready #stuckbelievinglies #futurefaking#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's confusing. You see what you think are loving behaviors. Then, you start wondering, but give a narcissist the benefit of the doubt. Then, you're in a pattern where things have gone lop-sided, pear-shaped, and somewhat south before you realized that you've confused being used for being loved. SO IMPORTANT TO SEE THE DIFFERENCE! Listen in.You SO want to believe it is love. I understand that, however, you also don't want to be taken in by someone who never intends to love you in any meaningful way, right? That's why this episode is essential to listen to...even if you don't really want to. Nobody WANTS to admit they are being emotionally abused, but you can't change what you can't--or won't--see, right? HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:t0 clear ways narcissists use youSee the distinctions between being love and being usedImportance of recognizing when you're being usedHijackals® have uses for you, not love to give you I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #beingusedbyanarcissists #imfeelingused #narcissistsuseyou #imbeingusedbyanarcissist #nolovetogive #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Insults are a low, low form of expressing disagreement. Not strange that narcissists stoop that low, is it? Their incessant NEED to win means they will go low in hopes of winning quickly. Sad & nasty! Insults only show emotional immaturity. Think of the playground.Insults are the arguments employed by those who are in the wrong, said the philosopher, Rosseau. SO TRUE of narcissistic Hijackals!The philosopher, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, said "Insults are the arguments employed by those who are in the wrong." That certainly rings true in the case of narcissist's. They are more frightened of accountability that almost anything. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:the lack of emotional maturity in narcissistsWhy using insults appeals to Hijackals® so muchAn excellent quote from Jamie Raskin, "An insult is not substitute for an argument." July, 2023Why Hijackals and all narcissists try to distract with personal attacks and no logicRecognizing that insults are abusiveI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #insultisnosubstituteforanargument #lowformofdisagreement #lackofemotionalmaturity #distractfromaccountability #insultsareabusive #insultsonsocialmedia #personalattacks#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You want a best friend and a narcissist won't be one. You want a confidante and a narcissist uses your words against you. At best, Hijackals® are frenemies. You're unsafe around them. You feel the lack of safety, but sometimes you don't want to admit it. You recognize the friend/foe nature of them, and don't want it to be so. Listen in to why it is important to recognize that frenemies is as close as you will ever really get to them. Sad, I know, but REAL!If you have a Hijackal® in your life, you have a frenemy. No doubt about it! A frenemy is a person who combines the characteristics of a friends and an enemy. Once you know a Hijackal, you know that the "enemy" is always lurking. You cannot relax completely...if at all. They are ready to pounce unexpectedly. And, it hurts!HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:What frenemies areHow frenemies scare youWhy you're often afraid to get rid of a frenemy10 distinct kinds of frenemies (Oh, dear!)Make a decision about them....preferably now!I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #frenemies #frenemy #narcissistsarefrenemies #highpricetopayforlove #narcissisticfrenemy#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sure, narcissistic folks can be charming when you meet them. You just don't know what's lurking in the background, right? It can happen quickly that Hijackals® go from charming to manipulative, but it may take a while to catch on to what's going on. Basically, though, they are awkward, angry, and argumentative.In this episode, I talk about what "awkward" really means, and why it applies so well to the shenanigans of a Hijackal. Also, about why and the how the anger serves them, and results in you walking on eggshells. Once you see these things, you'll be better able to make good decisions for yourself about what to do about the behaviors.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Seeing narcissistic behavior clearlyHow narcissists are awkward as well as creating awkward situationsThe immature anger of narcissistic Hijackals4 ways to recognize the argumentative nature of narcissistsI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #narcissistsanger #argumentativenarcissist #hownarcissistsare #difficultpeople #seeingnarcissisticbehaviors#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In healthy situations, you would never think that empathy and compassion could have downsides, right? When you're with a Hijackal, a narcissistic, or other endlessly difficult person, you can find that you've stepped over into some strange land where empathy and compassion cause you to suffer. SO IMPORTANT to recognize when too much is too much and it's hurting you.You'll also benefit from the tips in this episode to help you keep your empathy and compassion in balance. Game-changer!It's a slow slipping away into taking care of the Hijackal's emotional demands and ignoring your own needs. You can lose yourself...even, abandon yourself. Listen in and avoid that. If you feel like you have already lost yourself, know that you can certainly come back from it, stronger. It takes work, and may be the best work of your life.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why too much empathy turns toxic and howThe toxicity of enablingThe problem of over-identifying with a Hijackal®Losing yourself to meet the demands of a HijackalReclaiming yourself after overgivingI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #toxiccompassion #toxicempathy #givingtoomuch #abandoningmyself #losingmyself #narcissisttakestoomuch #overgiving#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A BIG complaint I hear so often is that the partner of a narcissistic person--a Hijackal®--is blowing up their phone...daily. It's such a sign of things going sideways, and it slides into that territory too easily! How do you know when it's too frequent? Too unreasonable? Too disrespectful? Then, what can you do about it? Listen in. This is basic to your well-being....and, more importantly, your safety!In the beginning of a relationship, a person calls and you may be flattered: "They like me!" When you're with a person with narcissistic tendencies, they blow up your phone to control you, to exert power over you. That's a whole different kettle of fish, right? Listen in. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why narcissists think they need to know what you're doingWhen calling to check in with you changes to calling to check up on youHow narcissistic people think you "belong TO them" not "WITH them"Why blowing up your phone is nasty digital surveillanceSteps to take to stop--or reduce--the unnecessary calls I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #blowingupmyphone #digitalsurveillance #needforcontrol #controllingperson #drivingmecrazy #narcissistblowsupmyphone#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabu Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It is natural to want to be loved and love. We organically want to belong. Absolutely! It's healthy, too. However, narcissistic people and all Hijackals excel at manipulating you and your feelings for their own purposes.You give and give, and still it's not enough. Then, they tell you that their poor treatment of you is not abuse, it's because you're inadequate. (Sad.) Not true. You are being used--and abused (yes, abused)--when all you're long for is love, understanding, and inclusion. Narcissists exploit your desire for a healthy relationship. It's sad, nasty, and very manipulative.Listen in and find the words to describe what you're feeling and why..To EXPLOIT means "to make full use of or derive benefit from." Aren't Hijackals expecting things to work for their benefit all the time? There's no equality in that.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why it's natural to want to belong and feel part of a community/relationshipJohn O'Donohue's words on belongingUnderstanding ways you may be being exploited by a Hijackal, a narcissist, or other difficult personWhy you might argue that you're not being exploitedWhy you cannot live up to a narcissist's idealized version of you-Why narcissists are more interested in using you than loving youHow Hijackals fail to see who you really are (aside from the fact that they don't care to!) I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #beingexploitedbyanarcissist #naturaltowanttobelong #lookingforlove #beingexploitedinthenameoflove #johnodonohue#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabu Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ever feel your head spin when you're trying to express your feelings, thoughts, wants, or needs to a Hijackal? Of course, you have. That's because they are masters of this phenomena know as WhatAboutIsm or WhatAboutery. It's a powerful defense and deflection strategy narcissists use to confuse! Learn what it sounds like because you already know what it feels like. When you recognize it and name it for yourself, you can refuse to play along with it again. The Hijackals defense mechanisms can be SO infuriating and frustrating. There SO many defense mechanisms It's crazy-making, and whataboutism is one of the most crazy-making. Learn more about that in this episode...and, what to do in the face of it.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why Hijackals® use whataboutismWhat "whataboutism" is and how it is definedHow whataboutism a dysfunctional defense mechanismHow whataboutism creates an instant double standardWhy hypocrites practice whataboutismWhat to do in the moment that you recognize whayaboutism is happeningI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #whataboutism #whataboutery #defensemechanism #narcissisticbehavior #narcissistaccountability #narcissistisconfusing#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

People ask so often: Do narcissists and other HIjackals know that they are being mean, difficult, coercive, dismissive, and more? You want to know. In this episode, I'll lay it out and explain it all, ONCE AND FOR ALL. Listen and take it in because knowing this answer can change your relationship forever.When you recognize what the narcissist or any other Hijackal does on purpose, you'll be affirmed that what you are thinking IS what is happening. Hijackals like to keep you as isolated as possible. They want to have power over you, and they do that by causing you to second-guess yourself and think you really are as flawed as they insist you are. Nasty!Do they know they are mean? Do they choose to be mean? Do they recognize the pain they cause? Find out in this episodeHIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Do narcissists hurt partners on purpose?Do narcissists plan to hurt you?Why a narcissist chooses to hurtHow a narcissist choose who to hurtWhy knowing this can change everything I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #donarcissistshurtonpurpose #howanarcissisthurtsme #doesanarcissistknow #narcissistsaware #hurtmeonpurpose #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rigid thinking and what-about-ism are seriously linked. Know someone who is rigid in their thinking? They are RIGHT and that's all there is to it? And, if you don't agree with them, you're wrong...and, that there is something wrong with you? Hijackals® do that! Even entertaining your thoughts or feelings for a hot second is not on their playlist. Learn how pervasive this is so that you can clearly see it happening and make good decisions about the relationship.What-about-ism relates directly to rigid thinking. People who are narcissistic convince themselves that they hold the only true and right opinions, judgments, perspectives, and objectives. No one else is right. In this episode, I talk about why this is SO important to narcissistic Hijackals of all stripes. Do you recognize these in the relationship you have in mind just now? HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:What rigid thinking isHow rigid thinking shows up in a relationship with a narcissistRigid thinking vs all-or-nothing thinkingWhy Hijackals need to believe they are right11 ways rigid thinking shows upHow what-about-ism relates to rigid thinking I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #whataboutism #whataboutery #rigidthinkingofnarcissists #mustberight #alwaysright #rigidthinkers #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Maybe, you're too nice. You fawn. You'll do anything to keep the peace...or, at least, sidestep potential rage if you can. Peace at any price, you may say. Maybe, you find yourself fawning. (Hear more about that in the episode, too!) Emotional abusers appreciate fawning. It's easier for them and they don't care about you. ESSENTIAL to see these dynamics clearly if they are playing out in any relationship in your life. When you do, you can take steps to change the patterns. There's nothing wrong with being nice, but TOO NICE can set you up for emotional abuse. Listen to the 10 Whys. Emotional abusers--Hijackals--are emotionally lazy, so they prefer people-pleasers who are already trained and groomed to defer to them and their views, wants, and demands. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:What happens when you're taught to be too niceWhy Hijackals® expect--and prefer--you to fawn over themWhat fawning is in a relationship with a narcissistic person10 WHYS Emotional abusers prefer people-pleasersUnconscious habits of respond to people who are emotionally abusiveI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #emotionalabusers #fawing #Idontmatter #fawningresponse #beingtoonice #tooaccommodating #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Narcissistic people starve you in so many ways. Every now and again a narcissist--a Hijackal--is kind, offers a compliment, or shows interest in your feelings. THOSE ARE CRUMBS. You may be so starved that those crumbs feel like a feast. You make a big deal of it, and think the world has reset in your favor. NO! The Hijackal wants something from you and knows how to get it. It's important to see this clearly.Emotional malnutrition is real. Malnutrition is the state of you end up in when you live with constant deficiencies, excesses, and imbalances in your intake. You don't get enough of what is life-giving and healthy. You get too much of what is depriving, degrading, and discounting. AND, nothing is every in a healthy state of balance. NOT GOOD ENOUGH! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:You find yourself starving for love, attention, acceptance, and validationWhy you get used to breadcrumbsWhy Hijackals will never engage in equalityHave you made yourself into a pretzel to try to please a HIjackal®?Hijackals want you to be a doormat and then make you wrong for being one. Familiar? I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #emotionalmalnutrition #putdownbyanarcissist #settlingforless #takingabuse #speakinguptoabuse #notgoodenough #settlingforcrumbs#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So infuriating! Endlessly frustrating! Trying to talk with a narcissistic person--or any Hijackal--can be crazy-making. It usually is if you dare to even remotely want to discuss the dynamics of your relationship. You've likely been upset by their purposeful misunderstanding of what you say, what you do, and what you want. Why do they do it? What can you do about it? Listen in.Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult people who hijack relationships for their own needs--have to "on top" and "winning" all the time. That means that they are always on both the offensive and the defensive. One way they do that is to purposefully misunderstand what you say, do, need, and want. Their need to be right and have it their way means that you must be wrong. So, they purposefully misunderstand you in order for them to "win." Or, think they did.Figure this out and see it clearly now. It will save you headaches and heartaches.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Misunderstanding you is convenient for themMisunderstanding you is a redirect of a conversation they don't want to have6 Ways narcissists purposefully misunderstand you5 reasons why they purposefully misunderstand youWhat you can do when you see the patternI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #purposefullymisunderstand #beingignoredbyanarcissist #narcissistchangesmywords #feelingmisunderstoodbyanarcissist#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you exhausted by running after pleasing someone who seems dedicated to never being pleased? That's WALKING ON EGGSHELLS. That's the game. You do everything as right as you think they want it, and you are never rewarded by getting it right. Sound Familiar? Narcissists and other Hijackals are looking for power, and one way they think works for this (because it usually does) is by withholding approval. That makes you run faster, they hope. Join me and find out how to stop getting your exercise on the Hijackal treadmill! .Hijackals® want you to always feel not good enough, less than in as many ways as possible. Narcissists want to feel more powerful, more in control, and more important than you every minute. So, it leads to you walking on eggshells...and, that's not good. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why walking on eggshells is SO exhaustingYou try to make things better, and they don't7 signs you're walking on eggshellsWhy narcissists want you to feel not good enoughWhy getting your exercise by walking on eggshells needs to be unacceptable I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #walkingoneggshells #feelingnotgoodenough #allowedtobreathe #feelingdiscounted #myfeelingsdontmatter#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

... and that is unhealthy -- for YOU.Healthy relationships have equality, reciprocity, and mutuality. Toxic relationships do not. You will be coping tooooo much, and in balance tooooo little.Does that sound familiar? You could be giving your life away to a narcissist with nothing but promises in return. Listen in to this episode and find out what's true for you.To cope is defined as "to deal effectively with something" (Oxford) or to "deal with and attempt to overcome problems and difficulties." When you have to do that ALL the time because you're with a person, partner, or parent who demands it, it's exhausting. Sure, we can cope with emergencies. That's normal and healthy. BUT, COPING all the time? NOOOOOO! That's what it feels like when you're with a narcissistic Hijackal, right? Everything is an emergency that you have to deal with: their emergencies, needs, demands, or directives.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why coping is an interim strategy, NOT a lifestyleWhen you find yourself running to please someone else, you can lose yourselfWhy it's important to see the narcissistic behavior clearlyHijackals don't change except for a hot minute when they want something from youIdentify if you are exhausted from coping with a narcissist for yearsI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #copingisexhausting #narcissistisdemanding #hijackalisdemanding #copingskillsexhausted #copingistoomuch#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SO FRUSTRATING! When you are with a narcissist or any kind of a Hijackal, you know that they use these three tactics to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. Hijackals hate accountability, and will do anything to squirm out of it. They lie, delay, and deny. But why? You likely have many ideas about why and I wanted to give you others. Hopefully, these insights will help you to see the depth of the insecurity and instability that is basic to narcissistic people. Yes, they don't seem insecure but they are. They often cover it well with arrogance and entitlement, however, it's still there and operating under the surface. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Narcissistic people need to put on a good show...and a false frontWhy lying, delaying, and denying helps narcissists and other Hijackals think they are in control and have power over you.The futility of thinking that narcissistic people will changeThe infuriating denial to make themselves rightWhat's up with the plausible lies and plausibe denialsI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #narcissistslie #narcissistlies #narcissistdenies #narcissistdelays #narcissistscontrol #controllingthenarrative #plausiblelies#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's tempting. You may think you're being "nice." After a while, you're doing all the giving. Then, it's exhausting!Why does this dynamic happen? Why does it persist? What can you do to stop it? Listen in.In the beginning of a relationship with a narcissist, you may think you've found your perfect, ideal, longed for mater. Things shift. Things sour. Things take a turn and the narcissist--Hijackal®--wants more and more while they give less and less. All the while, the narcissist also becomes more demanding. Does this sound familiar? You can give everything you have in every possible way and it may never be enough, or good enough, to please a narcissist because they believe in withholding love and approval. Sad. Nasty. That's why you'll want to gain clarity by listening to this episode.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Narcissistic people give FAR LESS than they take, especially in emotional real estate.Recognizing that you are doing all the work.Giving up being hooked on hope that a narcissist will change, a HIjackal will changeTaking back your energy and reclaiming your powerI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #goingtheextramile #doingtoomuchforanarcissist #cateringtoanarcissist #narcissistexpectstoomuch #narcissistwithholds #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Yes, narcissistic people are self-centered, but does the reverse hold true? Are self-centered people always narcissistic? Important distinctions here that can help you understand the troubling folks in your life. Or, do you think it's a distinction without a difference? Listen in and see what you discover. In this episode, I offer you ten ways to see the differences between self-centered people and narcissistic people. These ten distinctions can be VERY helpful if you're wondering whether to stay in a relationship with a partner, parent, sibling, or friend, or to break away. That's valuable! HINT: One of them can and will change, the other? Not at all likely!We're all self-centered at some time...or wishing we could be. There's nothing wrong with wanting to have your turn in the sun. The operant word, though is "turn." Hijackals want to have all the "turns," right?HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:10 ways self-centered people are different than narcissistic peopleWhy it is important to see the distinctions between self-centered and narcissistic peopleThe part empathy plays in the distinctionsWhen there is entitlement, it changes the dynamicI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #selcenteredvsnarcissistic #selfabsorbed #narcissistic #differencebetweenselfcenteredandnarcissistic #empathy #entitled #entitlment #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hijackals insist you're not good enough...even though they chose you or gave birth to you. What's up with that!@##%%!? It's crazy-making and it's important to understand why this happens. And, why it continues throughout the relationship unless you change. It's not OK.This episode will help you clearly see through this crazy-making habit of emotional abuse: making you feel not good enough. It serves the Hijackal but it does not serve you. Understand these things so you can make positive changes right away.When someone needs to put you down in order to feel better about themselves, there's trouble. That's what happening with narcissistic Hijackals. They may you feel:"I'm constantly being put down.""They make me feel not good enough.""I am exhausted and feel worn down.""I'm losing my ability to think clearly about myself.""Am I really a terrible person?""Am I the problem in this relationship?"That's JUST what a Hijackal® wants you to be thinking. Let's change that!!! Listen in.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why this quote is significant: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt How making you feel not good enough is key to gaining coercive controlWhy you may need to change your internal dialogueWhy Hijackals and other narcissists like to amplify and magnify the message that you're not enoughI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #notgoodenough #needtoputmedown #givemenocredit #emotionallyimmature #narcissisticfear#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's SO helpful to recognize the underlying resentments triggered in both a Hijackal AND their partner. Some may surprise you! Recognition leads to understanding which helps you to know your next best steps. Resentment is rife in all relationships with Hijackals...on both sides, too. You may feel it. Now, explore why and what's under that. Why? So you move forward wisely.Both Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult people with narcissistic tendencies--and the person with whom they share a relationship will feel resentment. Very different reasons, but the same final result. It's important to learn the distinctions. It will help you understand why a relationship with a Hijackal is unlikely to sustain positive changes over time. Living in and with resentment coming towards you or coming from within you is consuming...and, not in a good way. Listen in!HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Hijackals operate from resentment much of the timeNon-Hijackals live with resentment and often repress expressing itWhy you need to see these distinctions about resentment, rage and repression clearlyWhat you can do to take your next best steps after recognizing the presence of rage, repression and resentmentI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #rage #repression #repressedrage #resentment #simmeringresentment #resentmentandrage#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Don't Lose or Abandon Yourself!Narcissistic people want all the attention as well as all the air in the room, right? You can find yourself giving it to them in hopes of them treating you better or liking/loving you more. Turn this around. Listen in to why you need to turn the focus on yourself and turn away from trying to please the narcissist.This episode is very specifically focused on your relationship with a Hijackal, or any narcissistic person. It is based on the dynamic that the Hijackal wants to continuously create and how it is different from a healthy relationship. Hijackals are NOT self-reflective. You know that. You can lose yourself in meeting the demands, or believing the accusations of a narcissistic person, right? It usually happens slowly over time. Listen in to recognize if it's time for you to turn things around and go in a healthier direction for yourself (and your children.)HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why this episode focuses on a very specific kind of relationship. Check that out!3 Must-Haves of a Healthy Adult Relationship = Episode 115Why you want to keep balance in any relationship regarding power, status, and controlRecognizing when it's time to stop researching about toxic relationships and START making changesNever let anyone habitually degrade, discount, or dismiss your needs, wants, feelings, or thought! I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #abandonmyself #losemyself #demandingnarcissist #selfcare #reclaimingmyself #reclaimmypower#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

No Object Constancy Creates Constant ThreatsObject constancy is very much missing in a relationship with a narcissistic Hijackal, and it's an essential ingredient of a healthy relationship. In this episode, I explain what it is and what happens when it's missing.Does your relationship feel like juggling jello? It will if you have a Hijackal in it!!!Learn how to see and understand what's missing in your relationship that causes SO much tension and second-guessing. You may be blaming yourself as well as being blamed by the Hijackal, and IT'S NOT TRUE! That's why thinking about this important concept of "object constancy" helps you to understand why you feel so pushed around by the extremes of the Hijackal. Fancy name for a very important concept!HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why life seems so unpredictable with a narcissistic personHow things so easily go from getting along to being threatened with being left and you feel blind-sidedHow life with a Hijackal is like "juggling Jello" (Ever felt that way?)What "object constancy" is and why it answers big questions about the way Hijackals areHow uncertainty becomes a constant in a relationship with a HijackalI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #objectconstancy #wholeobjectrelations #beingthreatened #feelingthreatened #beingleft #neverfeelclose#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Being with a narcissist or any Hijackal is exhausting! You really want to believe they love you and yet to scramble to find even little shards of evidence. Then, you make the shards sound like a whole thing, right? You second-guess yourself...because a Hijackal WANTS you to feel uncertain and confused. Listen in and recognize how and that this is happening, SO you can stop it!!!Self-doubt means you lose faith and confidence in yourself and your abilities. You can also start questioning your memory, wants, judgment, needs, feelings, and thoughts. A Hijackal preys on your vulnerabilities in attempts to keep you second-guessing yourself and questioning your sanity. Do these 10 signs of self-doubt and low self-esteem sound familiar? HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:How narcissists dominate the emotional landscape...or try toRecognizing the ten 10 signs of self-doubt and its accompany low self-esteemWhy Hijackals NEED to take up too much space and leave you too littleWhy eroding your self-confidence is a huge win for a narcissistic HijackalHow to know it's time to say "NO" to someone who wears, tears, and puts you down.I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #selfdoubt #livingwithanarcissist #haveanarcissisticparent #selfcritical #difficultpeople #lowselfesteem #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is the second half of our conversation with Erik, Rhoberta and Eliza Blankmeyer. Eliza shares some fun stories of growing up in the Blankmeyer home, including cake fights, Rhoberta and Erik share the faith filled journey through the gut wrenching experience of fighting with Eliza for her life, and Rhoberta concludes with reminding us what really matters in life.

Part 1 of our interview with Erik, Rhoberta and Eliza Blankmeyer. They are all very inspiring people, so stay tuned for part 2 coming later!

What is a Hijackal®? Have you ever heard of that term? Whether you have heard about it or not, you probably have experienced it. Hijackals® are “people who hijack relationships--for their own purposes--while relentlessly scavenging them for power, status, and control.” Do you want to make it stop? Join me and Rhoberta Shaler tonight Aug 24, 2021, at 6:30 pm Mountain time for an incredible journey as we discuss 2 of her 16 books: Escaping the Hijackal Trap and Kaizen for Couples: Smart Steps to Save, Sustain, and Strengthen Your Relationship. The Relationship Help Doctor, Rhoberta Shaler, Ph.D., provides urgent and ongoing care for relationships in crisis. Even the United States Marines have called on her for help! Dr. Shaler particularly helps the partners, exes, and adult children of the relentlessly difficult, toxic people she calls Hijackals® to save their sanity and stop the crazy-making. She defines Hijackals as “people who hijack relationships--for their own purposes--while relentlessly scavenging them for power, status, and control.” Rhoberta offers the insights, strategies, and support you need to reclaim hope, confidence--and your sanity--when dealing with the constant uncertainty and jaw-dropping behaviors of Hijackals in your life, at home, and at work. Author of sixteen books, including her Hijackal ebook series, Escaping the Hijackal Trap, and, Stop! That's Crazy-Making, she is the host of the popular podcast, listened to in more than seventy-five countries: Save Your Sanity: Help for Toxic Relationships. She is the former host of the Emotional Savvy channel on Binge TV Networks. Dr. Shaler's work has been featured on PsychCentral, Cosmopolitan, Good Housekeeping, Your Tango, The Good Men Project, and eHarmony, among many others. Her YouTube channel, ForRelationshipHelp, is an evergreen source of practical insights and tips for relationships and has reached over a half million views. WEBSITES AND SOCIAL MEDIA: Website and Blog: ForRelationshipHelp.com Podcast: SaveYourSanityPodcast.com Facebook: @RelationshipHelpDoctor Twitter: @RhobertaShaler LinkedIn: @RhobertaShaler Pinterest: @RhobertaShaler Instagram: @DrRhobertaShaler Clubhouse: @DrShaler

Carla and Sherry start off the show wishing that more people could accept differing opinions of others, and note the unfortunate nature of a lot of friendships ending during the pandemic because of this. Then, they welcome the “Relationship Help Doctor” aka Dr. Rhoberta Shaler to the show. Rhoberta is an acclaimed speaker, author, and Relationship consultant, and jumps in on the Love Fix question about abuse vs. anger. Rhoberta explains what a relationship hijackal is, and the red flags that we can look for when first dating to date them. She also shares how to express yourself without blame or shame, and to take accountability for your own self-growth and confidence.    What You'll Hear In This Episode:   We should be allowed to disagree and still be civil and respectful to one another.  The difference between anger and abuse.  We can express and validate our emotions without stuffing them down.  Anger is healthy, it's what we do with it that becomes unhealthy.  Rhoberta explains what she calls Hijackals, and how they end up causing a crazy-making relationship.  Resources for Rhoberta's books, podcast, and coaching, along with ways to work with Sherry and Carla on overcoming codependency and gaining confidence. Are you in a toxic relationship with a Hijackal? Or are you possibly one yourself? Rhoberta explains what to look for.  Why do codependent people seem drawn to Hijackals?  Why someone may want to work on themselves while still in a challenging relationship before leaving and repeating the pattern.  Learn to speak up for yourself without blame or shame.  How can you start to protect yourself so you aren't open to hijackals, even in the dating phase.  A big red flag in the dating phase - future faking. They don't “get you”, they “gotcha”.   Watch how a person treats the wait staff and refers to their past relationships.    Tweetables: “Mean what you say, don't say it mean.” - Sherry  “Anger is healthy. It's a response to life, circumstances and having someone trample on your boundaries. It's what you do with it that becomes unhealthy.” - Rhoberta  “Hijackals have to win, so they will be fault finding to keep themselves in a superior place.” - Rhoberta  “Hijackles paint a public picture of perfection, while at home they provide a private place of pain.” - Rhoberta    Connect with Us!   The Love Fix | @thelovefixpodcast Wake up Recovery for Codependency, Love Addiction, and Toxic Relationships — $1 trial membership The Love Fix Relationship Quiz     Sign up for a Connection call with Sherry https://sherrygaba.com/coaching/life-coaching/    Find Out More:    Sherry Website | Instagram | Facebook | Love Smacked | Wake Up Recovery for Codependents and Toxic Relationships     Carla Website | Instagram | Facebook | Contagious Love | Online Dating Bootcamp    Dr. Rhoberta Shaler  Website | Save Your Sanity Podcast | Facebook | Instagram | Books    Get professional online counseling with BetterHelp by clicking here. Thanks to BetterHelp for sponsoring this episode.

It is essential to recognize when you are abandoning yourself. You may think it's part of being a good person. It's a delicate balance, for sure. How do you re-establish that balance if you have become an enabler, or are codependent?  Listening to this episode is a very good start! At the extreme, you abandon yourself when you totally accommodate another person's needs and wants even when those needs, wants--and, even demands--are outrageous! Most people don't go that far, and yet they abandon themselves. Understanding what it is to be enabling another, or codependent on another, highlights ways in which you abandon yourself. Believe me, it's not worth it! And, you may think there will be a payoff for doing it somewhere down the yellow brick road. No! No! Because people take advantage of enablers and co-dependents, and walk on them. Sad, but true! Have you ever given up your dreams, hopes, interests, and aspirations in order for someone to be interested in you, like you, or hopefully love you? That's a big sign of self-abandonment. And, only one of about twenty I share with you in this episode. Some are subtle and only you know they are happening within you. Others are more obvious and public. No, you don't want those, either! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:My practical definitions of self-abandonment, enabling, and codependenceSo many ways to recognize how you may be abandoning yourself in many circumstancesHow self-abandonment is part and parcel of enabling and codependence...and whyFour key strategies for overcoming self-abandonmentHow to create emotional balance so that you can create more balanced relationships with my BIG three! Do you recognize ways in which you've been abandoning yourself?  I'm here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month! WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community Only $19 a month.----------------------------------------------------------------------#abandonyourself #abandoningyourself #codependence #enabling #beinganenabler #losingyourselfinaguy #losingyourselfinagirl #givingtoomuch #endingperfectionism #emotionalabuserecovery #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest  Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

8 Essential Factors for Recovery After Emotional Abuse. that you need to consider even if you don't want to and just want to go get the love, fun, attention, and validation you've been missing. What if you skip them? It could be a disaster.You may be anxious to date, or you may be scared spitless! Or, sometimes ready and sometimes sure you'll never be! That's how uncertain you can feel once a Hijackal is in your rear view mirror. Does it sound familiar? Even if you're still with a Hijackal, you may be wondering about life beyond that relationship. Listen in to understand the best things to consider before you hit the dating scene. Maybe, you have a friend who's newly single. Invite her or him to listen in because most divorces are fraught will many of the same issues leaving Hijackals present. Yes, you might be wishing I was going to say, "Leap! Enjoy! Have fun!" I want that for you, however, not until you're well-prepared. You want to be successful, to see and avoid all red flags, right? That means being wise, slowing down, and thinking about a few things first. Yep! Sorry. It takes time. You might hope that dating will be a distraction.. Actually, it is more likely to be a disaster if you haven't attended to the 8 Essential Factors in the broadcast. You could even find yourself hooked to another Hijackal! Oops! Recovery itself takes a lot of things Far more than these 8 Factors. That's why I call them the ESSENTIAL ones. These are the MUST-DO ones that you are wise to have spent time with in your plan BEFORE DATING! Please listen. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Be emotionally prepared for datingFollow the 8 Essential Factors for Recovery After Emotional Abuse...at a minimum!Why you don't want to use dating as a distraction from the pain of emotional abuseWhy you are not wise to jump into dating to feel better about yourselfA great analogy about wounds and scars to keep in mind Are you wanting help to heal in the most direct way after the emotional abuse of a toxic relationship?  I'm here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month! WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community Only $19 a month.----------------------------------------------------------------------#datingafteremotionalabuse #datingafteranarcissist #amireadytodate #howdoiknowimreadytodateafteranarcissist #healingafteranarcissist #emotionalabuserecovery #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest  Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

For many women--and men, too, restoring a feeling of safety to enjoy sexual intimacy seems a long way off. Anna-Thea share invaluable insights for regaining that sense of safety. Trust, too, can be a big issue. In fact, letting a new person into your life at all can cause concern. That's natural. You are wise to take care of yourself. Today's insights in this episode can help so much! You want to attract a healthier partner this time, I know. It's SO important that you feel safe to establish sexual intimacy, and that means establishing emotional intimacy first! Sure, sex can be exciting just for it's own sake. It's not usually a good way to begin a relationship, though, if you're hoping for a long0term relationship. Yes, I know, there is often a feeling of pressure to be intimate in many early relationships. Resist the urge to have sex until you actually feel emotionally safe with someone! Does that seem do-able and/or wise? Today, Anna-Thea and I talk about why we have to redefine love in order to see healthier pathways to create and experience it. You can have great sex with someone and never be able to talk about your feelings, for instance. Is that a good thing for you? Not likely if you're hoping to have a healthy relationship with a partner in life! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Why we have to redefine loveWhat makes the Feminine special and SacredHow attracting a healthy person requires being healthy yourselfWhy your body is not a "negotiation"Where the meeting place between safety and vulnerability is Do you need help to make the shift to consider a new relationship after leaving an emotionally abusive one? We can talk. warm regards,RhobertaGUEST: ANNA-THEAAnna-Thea educates women to connect to the power and sacredness of their feminine side - certified from the Divine Feminine Institute as a Divine Feminine Educator and Spiritual Sexual Educator. Graduating with honors with a bachelor's degree in Nutrition, she also holds a double certification in yoga and taught yoga for many years. She now focuses her attention on Divine Feminine Education. Her book “Empower Yourself by Loving Your Body” offers powerful insights for women.FREE GIFT FROM ANNA-THEA:Enjoy Anna-Thea's Love Quiz here: https://annathea.org/love-testCONTACT ANNA-THEAWebsite: https://annathea.orgPodcasts:LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anna-thea-fabricius-4b16bb7Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/annatheafabInstagram https://www.instagram.com/divinefeminine.educatorTwitter: https://twitter.com/theannatheaYouTube:--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again. When you like my pages, or subscribe to my YouTube channel and hit the notification bell, you'll hear about each Monday's livestream where you can join in and ask questions, too. FOLLOW DR. SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler-------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Community Circle----------------------------------------------------------------------#reclaimingyourbodyafterabuse #intimacyafteremotionalabuse #intimacyafterphysical abuse #intimacyaftersexualabuse #comfortablewithsex #comfortablewithyourbody #recoveringtoenjoysexafterabuse #recoveringafterabuse #annathea #empoweryourselfbylovingyourbody#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #drrhobertashaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #passiveaggressive #notgoodenough #relationshiphelp #verballyabusive #stopemotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #emotionaltrauma #narcissism #psychopath #sociopath #emergingempowered Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

You likely give people the benefit of the doubt, or are willing to go the extra mile for them. That's healthy and usually reciprocal. Great! BUT, when you're with someone with narcissistic behaviors, it's not healthy or reciprocal. It's unhealthy and one-sided.Most people immediately think of a particular set of traits when they think of narcissism in general: the blustery, look-at-me, superior, grandiose example. And, yes, that is definitely one of the types. Sometimes harder to detect--or harder to believe exist--are the other three contrasting types. Some are sneaky. Some play on your heartstrings. Some simply don't care! Knowing about these four types can expand the way you look at a troublesome, difficult, or toxic set of traits and realize what's likely going on. That's a big help! How will it help? When you clearly see the patterns, traits, cycles and behaviors of another person, you can make healthy decisions for yourself as to whether you would like to stay in the relationship. Should I stay or should I leave? You need to know what the possibilities for change are, right? So often, new clients come with that exact question, "Stay or go?" There's so much to calibrate and they want guidance, information, and direction to make those healthier decisions. And, what if there are children to consider? A huge consideration!!! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:4 different types of narcissistsDistinguishing features of each type of narcissistic behaviorWhy it's important to talk about narcissistic behavior or narcissistic tendencies rather than a diagnosisHow two types of narcissistic behavior can have degrees of severityCan people with narcissistic leanings change? Wondering about your relationship as it relates to narcissism?  I'm here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community Only $19 a month and that includes two monthly group Ask Her Anything calls, too! ----------------------------------------------------------------------#typesofnarcissists #narcissistictypes #grandiosenarcissist #vulnerablenarcissist #communalnarcissist #malignantnarcissist #thedarktriad #narcissistictraits #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest  Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

You hear the same demeaning, dismissive things from narcissistic Hijackals all the time. It wears you down and they put your down. You need tools and strategies to neutralize the poison when it's being poured on you. This episode gives you specific insights into keeping yourself safer. #Hijackals are always looking for a way, a place, an opening to exert power over you. I'm thinking that you're nodding your head in agreement as you read that, right? Hijackals will go to any lengths to be right, to win, to make you wrong, and make everything your fault. It's the Hijackal's nature to do that. And, it is exhausting! You can become so worn down that you may even start believing what a Hijackal says about you. Has that happened to you? Or, maybe, you got to the "Whatever!" stage? You have been judged, criticized, gaslighted, and ignored, too. They feel powerful when they do those things: large and in charge, they think. They are not. They are actually small and afraid, but they'll never, ever see or admit that. In this episode, I've offered ten of the multitude of things a narcissist or other Hijackal will say to you to put you in your place, or so they think! In their worlds, they must be the top of the pile, and they honestly think that their needs, wants, thoughts, feelings, preferences, memories, whims, and demands should take precedence over everyone else's. Yes, they may do that in an overt, obvious, even grandiose way. They also may do it in a "I'm a victim" covert way. In fact, many times, they'll use both, just to cover their bases. How to respond to this to save your sanity and stop second-guessing yourself? I offer you clear ways to work on that. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Why narcissistic Hijackals (in fact, all Hijackals) need to demean, dismiss, and discount you10 phrases they use to hopefully gain power over youHow to use your inner dialogue to not shrink when a narcissist is nastyRecognizing more ways that emotional abuse shows up in primary relationships with parents, partners, siblings, and adult childrenHow to stick to the facts and respond accordingly Do you need insights and strategies for mitigating and responding to emotional and verbal abuse?  I'm here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community Save $24 on your first three months.----------------------------------------------------------------------#emotionallyabusive #nastythingsnarcissistssay #whatnarcissistssay #howtoneutralize #neutralizeemotionalabuse #neutralizingverbalabuse #yourinternaldialogue #notgoodenough #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest  Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ugh! The narcissistic Hijackal falls silent, ignores you, and won't respond. What's up with that? What are they hoping to achieve? What's your internal dialogue? What ways are most effective to respond? That's today's episode. So dismissive! Hijackals can treat you as though you're invisible, erased, and definitely not present. They want to impress upon you the contempt they feel for you. So, they fall silent. Big power move...or, so they think! Until you understand the dynamics of this, you may be upset, distressed, and doing everything in your power to get the Hijackal to starting talking to you. Have you done that? What was the cost? I'll bet it was at the expense of your self-esteem at the very least! Hijackals and other narcissistic folks--and other passive-aggressive people--want you to think they have power over you. When they can't win by talking, they try to by The Silent Treatment. It's nasty. For some of them, they do it because they don't know what else to do. Pathetic! For others, they do it to impress on you just how upset they are with you. Is it working? So much of the BIG silence is emotionally abusive. I'm sure you've felt that, but have you allowed yourself to call it that? In this episode, I talk about seven ways that The Silent Treatment is emotionally abusive. After you listen, you'll be able to clearly see what's up with that in your relationship. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:What Hijackals want to avoid by giving you The Silent TreatmentWhy narcissistic folks misguidedly think The Silent Treatment will work7 ways to recognize The Silent Treatment as emotional abuse6 ways NOT to respond to The Silent Treatment4 MUST-DOS to respond to The Silent TreatmentIf you're tired of the drama, the manipulation, and The Silent Treatment,  I'm here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community Save $24 on your first three months.----------------------------------------------------------------------#silenttreatment #respondingtothesilenttreatment #whatsupwiththat #whatbulliesdo #thesilenttreamentisabusive #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest  Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Travel Gluten Free Podcast Episode 133 Eating gluten-free, soy-free and dairy-free with Dr. Rhoberta Shaler   Welcome to the Travel Gluten Free Podcast, where you can listen in on how to lead a gluten-free lifestyle with more fun and ease! Travel Gluten Free gives you valuable information from finding a safe restaurant to knowing what food is safe to eat when you travel; I'll be with you every step of the way on your gluten-free journey. Lead your gluten-free life, don't let being gluten-free lead your life. Enjoy Food, Enjoy Travel, and Enjoy Life with your show host, Elikqitie!   In this episode, I'm chatting with Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor, who provides urgent and ongoing care for relationships in crisis. She helps people on the journey from recognizing to recovering and rebuilding after toxic relationships. Even the United States Marines have sought her help!     Dr. Shaler empowers the partners, exes, adult children, and co-workers of the relentlessly difficult, toxic people she calls Hijackals® to recognize emotional abuse, realize the effects, heal, and transform. She helps them see clearly, stop the crazy-making, and save their sanity.    Widely published and author of sixteen books, including Escaping the Hijackal Trap and Stop! Crazy-Making; she is the host of the internationally popular podcast: Save Your Sanity: Help for Toxic Relationships. Her YouTube channel, ForRelationshipHelp, has reached over 470,000 views.    After doing her own research into her health issues, Rhoberta found out gluten was the culprit of her poor health. A couple of years later, she found that dairy and soy were also causing her health issues, so she took those out of her diet. Next came sugar, and when she removed sugar, she lost weight and felt healthier.    We talk about how she substitutes salt, sugar, and fats in her diet, the importance of eating clean and organic foods. Listen in to find out which gluten-free restaurants she recommends when traveling out to San Diego and the surrounding area and where to get the best chicken waffles. Learn how Rhoberta creates her own food with her dehydrator and how to make your own gluten-free flour blend. The Guide to Traveling Gluten Free Are you anxious about traveling with Celiacs Disease? Does the thought of getting sick on vacation worry you to no end? Unsure of what travel options are safe and how to choose a safe restaurant away from home for you and your children? The Guide to Traveling Gluten Free will walk you through the process of planning and enjoying your next gluten-free travel adventure! Take the guesswork out of how to travel, where to go, and how to eat safely when you follow the information in my guide. Whether you are celiacs or gluten intolerant, my guide will give you handy information to delight in your next vacation experience! Learn how to take a trip safely, what questions to ask when you are at a restaurant and which online tools and apps to utilize to find safe, dedicated gluten-free restaurants and food options. Find out what stores to shop at to purchase gluten-free food, determine if a restaurant is gluten-free or celiac friendly, and when you should walk out of a restaurant.  Connect with Dr. Shaler Visit Rhoberta Shaler on the web Follow Gluten Free Dave on Instagram Check out Cenote Grill in San Marcos Find out more about Nectarine Grove Look for The Himalayan Kitchen Lotus Cafe in Encinitas   Journey with Travel Gluten Free Grab the Guide to Traveling Gluten Free Get the BEST all-natural gluten-free travel cosmetics at Lemongrass Spa! Find cool gluten-free swag in my new shop here Visit my Travel Deals page on my website Support Travel Gluten Free on Patreon   Travel Gluten Free on Social Media Twitter      Facebook    Youtube      Pinterest    Instagram    On the Web   Spread the love of Travel Gluten Free podcast and share this episode with a friend   ***Disclaimer: All content found on the Travel Gluten Free Website, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Travel Gluten Free website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice, Travel Gluten Free website, podcast, and guests present content solely for educational and entertainment purposes, and use of this information is at your own risk.***

Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, helps people all over the world navigate the relentlessly difficult, toxic humans in their lives. Raised by a pack of narcissistic Hijackals®, Dr. Rhoberta is intimately acquainted with the survival skills required in toxic relationships. Host of the popular Save Your Sanity podcast, she shares how to rid yourself and avoid crazy-making gaslighting that can crush your confidence, dim your light, and sap your success. Join the conversation on the Podopolo podcast app.

An empowering discussion with Dr Rhoberta Shaler, the relationship help expert. She helps people to recognize and recover from the toxic relationships that can make us crazy! We talk about: • How to define a toxic relationship • The pressure that gets put on relationships • What Rhoberta means by a hijackal in a relationship • How a hijackal looks for power, status and control • How to identify a hijackal • All or nothing thinking and how insidious that is • What to do if you find that’s the kind of relationship you have • How to recognize and deal with gaslighting in a relationship • Resisting the temptation to think we can nurture the hijackal out of their behaviour • Rhoberta’s ABB formula – Always believe the behaviour • Relationship breakdown in midlife – often the behaviour becomes more evident without other variable in the home • We deserve to have relationships with equality, reciprocity and mutuality bringing true intimacy • You don’t need approval from someone you don’t approve of – Rachel’s big aha moment • Ending the justification of bad behaviour and making different choices • Taking off the rose coloured glasses and seeing red flags • Having to cut people out of your life if necessary or at least distance yourself from them • Strategies for dealing with toxic relationships • Identifying this behaviour in public life too And more!   Find out more about Roberta: Rhoberta’s website Podcasts/ Videos Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, Pinterest and Instagram Book mentioned in the podcast: Kaizen for Couples If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, share it and leave a review on iTunes or wherever you’re listening. Find out how to leave a review here: bit.ly/leavepodcastreview You can find out more information and get the show notes to every episode at magnificentmidlife.com. That’s also where you’ll find strategies, support and resources to help make your midlife magnificent. There’s a midlife wellness program, courses, midlife mentoring to help make the most of your next chapter and our online Members Club. If not now, when?

The Relationship Help Doctor, Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, provides urgent and ongoing care for relationships in crisis. Even the United States Marines have called on her for help!Dr. Shaler empowers the partners, exes, adult children, and co-workers of the relentlessly difficult, toxic people she calls Hijackals® to recognize emotional abuse, realize the effects, heal, and transform. She helps them see clearly, stop the crazy-making, and save their sanity. She defines Hijackals as “people who hijack relationships--for their own purposes--while relentlessly scavenging them for power, status, and control.”Rhoberta offers the insights, strategies, and support you need to reclaim hope, confidence--and your sanity--when dealing with the constant uncertainty and jaw-dropping behaviors of Hijackals in your life, at home and at work. Author of sixteen books, including her Hijackal ebook series, she is the host of the popular podcast, listened to in more than seventy-five countries: Save Your Sanity: Help for Toxic Relationships. She is the former host of the Emotional Savvy channel on Binge TV Networks.In this episode, we dive into the following:Rhoberta's story - having toxic parents and later finding herself in a marriage with another toxic personEnabling or excusing toxic behavior"Toxic" as a buzzwordToxic relationships with parents, friendships, and in the workplaceWarning signs and red flags to look out forCycle of abuse -- lovebombing / grooming, the 'gotcha' factor / devalue, hovering, & discardTune in to hear more from the wise expert herself!!//Connect with Dr. Rhoberta's work:Website: forrelationshiphelp.comPodcast: Save Your Sanity PodcastDr. Rhoberta's series of booksInstagram: @drrhobertashalerFacebook: Relationship Help DoctorLinkedIn: Rhoberta Shaler//Song: Gaslighter by The Chicks//Follow along with the rest of my journey.Instagram:@whytli@inthewakewithwhytliFacebook: Whytli RogersTwitter: @whytliPinterest: WhytliTikTok: @whytliLinkedIn: Whytli RogersWebsite: whytli.comContact me here.Support the show (https://paypal.me/whytli?locale.x=en_US)

Do you have a parent, partner or colleague who always has to be RIGHT? Do they blame you for things that you have no control over? If so, you may be dealing with a Hijackal. So, how do you identify when you’re in a toxic relationship? And more importantly, what can you do about it? Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, is the Relationship Help Doctor behind Transforming Relationship, a platform designed to provide ongoing care for relationships in crisis. She focuses on helping the partners, exes and adult children of the relentlessly difficult people she calls Hijackals to ‘stop the crazy-making and save their sanity.’ Rhoberta is also the author of 16 books on toxic relationships, and she serves as the host of the Emotional Savvy and Save Your Sanity podcasts. On this episode of Wickedly Smart Women, Rhoberta joins Emerald to walk us through the characteristics of a toxic relationship. She describes how Hijackals show up in personal and professional relationships, explaining what we can do to recognize their behavior and reclaim our sense of self. Listen in for Rhoberta’s insight on why fixing someone else’s behavior is not YOUR responsibility and learn the three hallmarks of a healthy relationship! What You Will Learn How growing up with Hijackal parents called Rhoberta to this work How to identify when you’re in a toxic relationship How the public perception of a Hijackal differs from their private behavior What Rhoberta does to help people regain their sense of confidence Why our adversarial court system favors Hijackals How Hijackals show up in business relationships The three hallmarks of a healthy relationship How to recognize ‘love bombing’ in personal + professional relationships How to identify when you’ve taken on Hijackal traits Why fixing someone else’s behavior is NOT your responsibility How Rhoberta’s spiritual life supports her in showing up + speaking out Connect with Dr. Rhoberta Shaler Transforming Relationship Emotional Savvy Podcast Save Your Sanity Podcast Rhoberta on YouTube Resources Escaping the Hijackal Trap: The Truth About Hijackals and Why They are Crazy-Making by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD Stop! That’s Crazy-Making: How to Quit Playing the Passive-Aggressive Game by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD New Media Summit Wrestling Rhinos: Conquering Conflict in the Wilds of Work by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD KAIZEN for COUPLES: Smart Steps to Save, Sustain & Strengthen Your Relationship by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD Connect with Emerald GreenForest Emerald’s Website Emerald on LinkedIn Emerald on Twitter Emerald on Instagram Email listeners@wickedlysmartwomen.com Apply to Wealthy Life by Design Leave Us A Message On Our listener line:   540-402-0043 x4343

Dr. Rhoberta Shaler is the relationship help doctor who provides urgent and ongoing care for relationships in crisis. Her mission is to provide the insights, information, and inspiration for clients and audiences to transform the relationship with themselves and other humans to be honest, respectful, and safe in all ways. She is the author of 16 books including Escaping The Hijackal Trap and Stop! That’s Crazy Making. She also hosts two podcasts Emotional Savvy and Save Your Sanity. Her YouTube channel, ForRelationshipHelps, has reached over 290,000 views. Here are the key links from this episode: Dr. Rhoberta's books (https://www.forrelationshiphelp.com/product-category/books/) Subscribe to Dr. Rhoberta's YouTube channel (https://www.youtube.com/user/ForRelationshipHelp) Hijackals (http://www.forrelationshiphelp.com/hijackals-intro) Transforming Relationships (http://transformingrelationship.com)

The Relationship Help Doctor, Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, provides urgent and ongoing care for relationships in crisis. Even the United States Marines have called on her for help!Dr. Shaler particularly helps the partners, exes, and adult children of the relentlessly difficult, toxic people she calls Hijackals® to save their sanity and stop the crazy-making. She defines Hijackals as “people who hijack relationships--for their own purposes--while relentlessly scavenging them for power, status, and control.”Rhoberta offers the insights, strategies, and support you need to reclaim hope, confidence--and your sanity--when dealing with the constant uncertainty and jaw-dropping behaviors of Hijackals in your life, at home and at work. Author of sixteen books, including her Hijackal ebook series, Escaping the Hijackal Trap, and, Stop! That’s Crazy-Making, she is the host of two popular podcasts listened to in more than fifty countries: Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show and Save Your Sanity: Help for Toxic Relationships. She is the former host of the Emotional Savvy channel on Binge TV Networks.

This week, on The Conscious Consultant Hour , Sam welcomes Author and Relationship Expert, *Rhoberta Shaler, PhD*. Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, *The Relationship Help Doctor* ( https://d2ag3jdu89hmr4.cloudfront.net/link_click/bDz4J1LMQN_9MeL8/e44fbd84458a0e7eb270f53284880578 ) , provides urgent and ongoing care for relationships in crisis ( https://d2ag3jdu89hmr4.cloudfront.net/link_click/bDz4J1LMQN_9MeL8/58e6739e77cf8ac2eff2172ed8f35929 ). Her mission is to provide the insights, information, and inspiration for clients and audiences to transform relationship with themselves and other humans to be honest, respectful, and safe in all ways. Even the United States Marines have sought her help! Dr. Shaler focuses on helping the partners, exes, and adult children of the relentlessly difficult, toxic people she calls *Hijackals®* to stop the crazy-making and save their sanity. *Author of sixteen books* including *Escaping the Hijackal Trap and Stop!* *That's Crazy-Making* , she hosts the internationally popular podcast, *Save Your Sanity: Help for Toxic Relationships* ( https://d2ag3jdu89hmr4.cloudfront.net/link_click/bDz4J1LMQN_9MeL8/56ff1256d0272aa4bb7f10ab73f9540b ). Her YouTube channel, *ForRelationshipHelp* , has reached over 335,000 views. Tune in for this transformational discussion at TalkRadio.nyc ( http://www.talkradio.nyc/ ) or watch the Facebook Livestream by clicking here ( https://www.facebook.com/InspiredThoughtsWithSam/videos/663344524493179/ ). *Segment 1* The show opens with quotes from Abraham and the Universe, the human mind tends to overcomplicate things, looking for chaos in simplicity to make sense of our lives, but the Universe tells us that it's not that difficult, the most profound answers are found more than likely in the simple, straightforward messages the world gives us. Abraham, this week, urging patience, taking things slow, opportunity and possibility surrounds us in abundance and it's not going anywhere, hiding in places we don't always immediately see, and sometimes it's important to stick around to dig deeper to see if there's something more, which more than likely, there is. Sam then introduces the guest, Rhoberta Shaler. “Just because something is simple does not mean it's easy.” *Segment 2* Rhoberta reflects on her childhood, growing up in a dysfunctional household with a borderline mother and a narcissistic father, which sparked an interest in the chemistry behind these kinds of relationships. Rhoberta defines the term ‘hijackal' and how to identify if you're in a relationship with one, dissecting telltale signs and explaining how these traits are developed in one's youth, a conversation spurring about different kinds of abuse in relationships, Rhoberta describing how to speak up to your partner without outright instigating and shifting blame. *Segment 3* Rhoberta talks preparation when leaving a relationship with a hijackal examining relationships with their children, making sure you're leaving stable financially-speaking, learning the true scope of the abuse, and practicing aforementioned techniques to maneuver through confrontations. The conversation then travels to life after leaving the hijackal, repairing yourself spiritually and mentally after that relationship, different types of hijackal both overt and covert, how people get trapped in these relationships in the first place, and how to identify a hijackal before you get too deep into it. “Whip off those rose-tinted glasses because you can't see red flags.” *Segment 4* Now you're single and you're on your own, Rhoberta explains how this is the time that you take for yourself and stay out of relationships, see it as a time of peace, and urges to stay away and not communicate with the hijackal to avoid getting hooked back in. She explains how to escape falling into these kinds of relationships over and over again, recognizes patterns formed back in childhood, and suggests getting help from professionals on these matters. The show closes with Rhoberta explaining in greater detail how to deal with these situations when children are involved, outlining how to treat the children and how to portray the relationship with the estranged partner. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-conscious-consultant-hour8505/donations

My guest today is Rhoberta Shaler, PhD.  She is known as The Relationship Help Doctor and is a relationship consultant and educator, a speaker and author. The reason why I was interested in having her is because I thought it was important to understand how you raise great kids when you live in an unstable, tumultuous, or broken home.  You always hear about therapists for kids who might be troubled or for couples. But not in the context of raising kids when times are tough!   My suspicion is that there are so many people struggling with this behind the scenes- there is a sliding scale of discontent, right?  When i posted that I was interviewing Dr. Rhoberta, I had so many people reach out and say they were struggling with this - and eager to hear the episode.  Here’s the deal: People suffer in silence. My hope is that through this conversation, you will realize that you a- not alone and b- Dr. Shaler gives some really practical and sage advice on all fronts here. Please make sure you share this episode.  It’s so important to have tools, understanding, and know there is a way to a better place. Dr. Rhoberta Shaler Save Your Sanity Podcast Instagram

TO READ TRANSCRIPT SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGEIn episode #1 of the new Awaken The Possibilities Podcast, Host Terry Wildemann interviews Dr. Rhoberta Shaler on "Navigating the Holidays When Single". This scenario can be challenging, especially if you haven't prepared yourself. Rhoberta share wonderful insights and perspective that can assist singles, and their family members, to respect one another in ways that allow all to enjoy the holidays._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________About Dr. Shaler:Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor, provides urgent and ongoing care for relationships in crisis. Her mission is to provide the insights, information, and inspiration for clients and audiences to know why and how to transform relationship with themselves and with other humans to be honest, respectful, and safe in all ways. Even the United States Marines have sought her help!Dr. Shaler empowers the partners, exes, adult children, and co-workers of the relentlessly difficult, toxic people she calls Hijackals® to recognize emotional abuse, realize the effects, heal, and transform. She helps them see clearly, stop the crazy-making, and save their sanity.Widely published and author of sixteen books including Escaping the Hijackal Trap and Stop! That’s Crazy-Making, she hosts two popular podcasts: Transforming Relationship with Emotional Savvy and Save Your Sanity: Help for Toxic Relationships. Her YouTube channel, ForRelationshipHelp, has reached over 275,000 views._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________About Terry Wildemann:Terry Wildemann is the owner of Intuitive Leadership® and a Business and Resilience Accelerator, Speaker and Certified Executive Coach,Terry's specialty is working with tired, unhealthy workaholic entrepreneurs and professionals and helps them leap off the stress hamster and evolve into unstoppable stress resilient intuitive leaders. Terry’s timely message taps into how to integrate intuition, stress resilience, positive communications and leadership with grounded business systems that help her students to successfully and positively serve and influence others. Her leadership experience includes owning a manufacturing company, image consulting company, leadership and holistic education center.Terry is a best selling author of The Enchanted Boardroom: Evolve Into An Unstoppable Intuitive Leader. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________TRANSCRIPT welcome everyone to awaken the possibilities I'm your host Terry will demand and I'm really excited because this is the very first episode of the awaken the possibilities popped up podcast and I am delighted to have as my very first guest who helped me so much in creating the background in creating the set everything to do with the awaken the possibilities podcast Dr we're Burda Shaler we're Burda is a very good friend of mine and someone who I hold in very high esteem so to have her on as the very first episode as my very first gas is truly truly exciting so I like to tell you a little bit about her because she truly is a magnificent human being Dr Roberta Scheller PhD is known as the relationship help doctor and provides urgent and ongoing care for relationships in crisis our mission is to provide insights information and inspiration for clients and audiences to transform relationships with themselves and other humans to be honest respectable respectful and respectable I'm sure state in all ways even the United States marines have sought her help and as you know I'm a navy spouse so that means so much to me that our military who joined this much I regard as I do %HESITATION doctor Schiller focuses on helping the partner's exes an adult children of the relentlessly difficult people she calls hi jackals I love that word hi jackals to stop the crazy making and saving their sanity she is the author of sixteen books including escaping the Hyde Jekyll trap and stop that's crazy making she has two podcasts emotional savvy and save your sanity her YouTube channel for relationship help has reached over two hundred and ninety thousand views wow congratulations on your accomplishments for Burnett and thank you for being here %HESITATION is totally my pleasure I love talking with you and you to biz is a wonderful thing when our over three hundred and five thousand views and them that it's amazing to be able to give people some relief when they're up in the middle of the night wondering what's going on in their world and kind of tents and to have somewhere they can go to get information to feel safe to feel empowered and to feel that they can understand what's happening to them and that really is special because that can be such a clear scary place where things are going on around you and and it's completely chaotic and you know your head is just spinning you just don't know where to go what to say what to do how to behave and it can be quite frightening it absolutely is you know and if you have happened to be raised by high jackals or you're with one and your being your very best empathetic self you're going the extra mile you're reaching out you may be justifying people's poor behaviors and you think that you know that's a great way to create relationships it's so important to know when you've actually gone beyond what is reasonable and something that is healthy and when other people have invaded you too and your space in ways that are unhealthy and to be able to recognize those boundaries and sometimes those unhealthy ways our cultural are they not sure they certainly are I mean there's a distinction I teach negotiation for the university of Texas and and when I'm helping people in project management because is seeing MBA program you know we talk about the difference between a collectivist culture in an individualist culture and if you're in a collectivist cultures that means that the focus of the culture is that the family is more important than the individual and so then you could have differences between the males and female roles within that collectivist culture and it can be sometimes oppressive and it can have some patterns in it that are really unhealthy and then on the other side the individualist culture then people feel that they can do whatever and say whatever they want to each other because they have that right and then we don't know exactly what the rules are so it's really important yeah I find in most situations %HESITATION that it's truly important to listen to your intuition how you feel and a lot of us aren't given permission to be able to do that and when we do oh my god it can become even more chaotic requiring us to completely step away for Saturday's Centru well it certainly can be I mean I think you hit on a really important piece Terry is starting to believe that maybe your intuition your got your sense your first feeling your first read of something may be accurate and then because society has said so many things you might start second guessing that and you might start asking other people's opinion of what's good are right for you and you've already been told what's good are right for you but you're not listening yet so it's important to be open to listening to that so in that vein a lot of us are single during this time of year we are in the holiday season it is you know we've got Hanukkah on one side Christmas on the other side Kwan signed some of us don't even celebrate the holidays but when you're single that can be a double edged sword to some people oh my god it's wonderful he did work about a lot of family stuff but on the other hand there are those who are single who want to engage in the family stuff so I really see it as a double edged sword and one of the %HESITATION I really wanted to talk with you today about stress and being single during the holidays because as we were talking before the show you had mentioned well is there really enough time to do that because we haven't prepared well I'm sure there are a lot of singles who have been prepared themselves in mind body and spirit for being single in the holidays so input in this podcast up I think we may be able to we may be doing a service in that once you even recognize that you haven't prepared isn't that the first step well it certainly is in order to be able to say I'm in a different paradigm down maybe a whole lot of other people am I comfortable in my paradigms do I miss something terribly do I not know how to create it do I experience as you say thank one of the big things in my life that I'm so delighted with this Joe Morrow you know the joy of missing out but there are a whole lot of people who were in the formal world to the fear of missing out and so when they're not included that something they have to look at and it does it can you come from the place of I choose what I do where do you come from the place of nobody's choosing me and that's where the preparation as I get to know yourself well enough to know what your needs and wants are what your thoughts and feelings are and what you're moving toward what your beliefs are about all this and then what the cultural dictates you know is it is it he %HESITATION are you noticing a bunch of articles that are written about you know I'm so sorry if you're alone for the holidays well you know I have a wonderful relationship in my life but it doesn't include the holidays and I am like %HESITATION you know someone asked me today what he could do it I I was tomorrow because of Chris's Christmas tomorrow and I said well I plan on eating good foods not getting dressed and reading a good book what do you have a place to go no %HESITATION delightfully I don't but for some people that dislike I'm not included I haven't I don't have a place to go I don't have a tribe I feel left out and there's a whole Lotta should surround it so we have two examiners shoots that you should have a person you should be connected well what if you're not you know and let's talk for a minute to in this context about bright people super bright people they tend to be a bit of an out liar you know they don't fit in every situation nor do they want to and and they have to look at you know what are my preferences do I get my joy from deciding where I go or do I feel downtrodden when people don't invite me to go somewhere what is going on is there a lot of factors at play here the preparation is a big thing because we don't spend enough time buyers sellers you know talking about intuition well we also spend enough time listening to that but we don't spend enough time enquiring into ourselves who am I which way I want what represents me water may boundaries what are my values what's my vision for my life what are my next steps many people don't want to encounter themselves so they don't spend time in the quiet finding out who they are and what's up you know it's interesting that you say that about being in the quiet when alone is about twenty five years ago when we first moved here in Rhode Island my car radio stopped working and all of a sudden I had to learn how to sit and drive in silence and today twenty five years later when I'm driving with family in the car and then they turn the radio on I can't handle it thank the card that I had before the one that I have now didn't have a radio sports car and I never noticed when I bought it didn't come with the radio and then I thought well let me explore this and so like this I don't you know it really is once you learn how to be in quiet you can hear your thoughts you can really look at how you feel about different things you will allow things that you were masking before the bubble up to the surface and I really do believe that it's important whether you're in a relationship or not in a relationship with your single or not single whether you're with family or not family that you own that part of yourself and but you can only own it once you know it yeah and and that's the whole point of preparation and %HESITATION if you if you can spend time with yourself like so many times %HESITATION clients all over the world because I work through video conferencing I'll say which is Quincy it quietly what what how long do I have to do that for and you know start with two minutes and then we'll talk about it in you know I lead them to answer the question is your real fear of finding out who you are and you don't want to do that is it that you're you know what are you busy about what is it that you must get up and do that will distract you from knowing yourself and is a really stemming from a fear of I don't know who will find when I spend time with myself and I might not like it so I think I'll go and put in the laundry and sweep the carport you know now one thing I do now it's interesting you said that about I'll go put the laundry in suite the carport one thing I do know is there are that there are folks of which I'm married to one who loves constant momentum and while he's doing things with his hands and doing different tasks I can see him in his mind just reviewing things in reviewing things M. processing and thinking so that action of doing mindless work actually assist him to engage internally that often happens for people have it's not that that they need the distraction of that it is that they have a kinesthetic need to be doing something that allows them then to let their mind go free you know when we look at the different modalities of how people process information kinesthetic people you know they're the people in school %HESITATION always tapping their pen or their food or something driving you crazy but the thing is that if you don't have that processing stuff they'll that be annoying to you but to them to be in motion allows them to pay attention they've taken care of the body so they can free the mind then that's an important thing to know if if you think about spending time alone and sitting still and that goes %HESITATION and why don't you do that then you probably want to look into the world of walking meditation so that you can walk and get into that state where you can cut you reflect and that will be a really good thing for you to do but the thing is you know you do you want to be able to encounter yourself as well as encounter the divine when you're sitting there if that's part of your agenda but first off start out by encountering yourself and not being fearful if that so that when you begin to encounter yourself and you begin to become interested in care but that person I love that person and be curious about that person then you will be able to listen to your intuition so were burned out right now we're %HESITATION ten I discuss today's Christmas he and there is a lot of time to prepare we may be going to family tomorrow or the next day it's Christmas Eve is on a Tuesday because Christmas is a little weak you may not be seen family until the weekend like us we're going to be driving down to Pennsylvania on later on in the week that kind of thing what would you suggest to assist those who are single who have been prepared themselves for the onslaught called the holidays well I think one important thing for all of us prepared or not prepared is to be able to answer the question what what I want from this exchange of time so if I'm going to a social event what do I want from this exchange of time if I'm in a conversation what do I want from this exchange of words what is the end result that I want then when we get you skip conscious about that that may be a single person we're we're meeting somebody new we're having a conversation what I want well I just simply want to know and be known a little more a little deeper I'm not gonna make huge leaps and just want to make a little incremental stat and if I understand what I want for many exchange and anytime of any kind then we become much more aware of ourselves and that's the first step so if you don't have much time now because you're going to encounter family or you're going to encounter nothing to do very shortly ask yourself what could I have isn't it an exchange of this time what do I want what what what is the result of this exchange I am our friend at that you and I had %HESITATION recently passed and I I was given everything I wanted of her belongings and I brought home a lot of books so one of the things that are more for the exchange of time tomorrow particularly is I want to look at life from her point of view why is she reading these books what seen here that you know there are things that are definitely related to what I I like to read anyway but %HESITATION that was curious so I can get excited about that but if I had a feeling like well it's not okay on the holidays do not have anywhere to go and nobody inviting me anywhere then I would be all wrapped up in that what I don't have and if you're wrapped up in what year you don't have then you can't be open to what you do have and what you're moving toward to the quick answer to your question is what am I moving toward right now what what is it that is available to me right now that I could actually look forward to and whether that is a long time and being able to and go to bed early %HESITATION %HESITATION %HESITATION it's being with a bunch of people and getting to know somebody or being seen and known by somebody else just know what you want for this exchange of time and it's a great place to start it really is a great place to start and as you're talking %HESITATION I am I'm just curious a lot of the millennials today and when we were kids do we really want to do what our family wanted us to do absolutely not a lot of millennials today are very very clear on what they want and what they don't want and one of the things I keep hearing is I don't want to go to this family event I don't want to go to that family event I you know I don't want to answer their questions I I I don't want to you know and I do know that some millennials feel very much that they're not good enough that there you know some folks are you know college educated they may not be college educated or whatever it is so what I'm hearing you say is from a listening perspective %HESITATION where the millennials are concerned under them or encourage them to keep joining family because that can be a real catch twenty two for families well it is but you know let's I would like to just broaden the conversation to the world perspective be it be in the namaste be honoring who it is you're speaking to be accepting of the person you're speaking to be interested in that person and don't impose your values are your culture or your showed three year ought to use and then you can be in the present moment with them and isn't that what we all want I can't think of one person who wants to go home and have somebody say well I remember when you did this and it wasn't very nice we want that to be gone that's not us Tuesday so why don't we give us today the opportunity of knowing them today and be in the present moment with Sam so what do you say to the parent was hard time with that well if I'm a millennial and someone asked me a difficult question and this came up from one of my groups the other day and I don't want to go home they're gonna ask me why I don't have kids do I have a good job yet they can ask all these tough questions and I said you know just benignly say you know I'm on track with my life it and I'm going to preach I'm going to progress through it in the best way that I possibly can how are things with you give the most general I've been nine answer and then ask a question because the other person probably wants to speak about themselves more anyway so answer them because as respectful to answer them and serve them broadly and don't don't have high expectations of them changing like I just did a show with Laura Rubenstein this morning on our transforming your relationships live on Facebook then the topic that I suggested for the show and it worked well was lower your expectations not your standards really nice so go home if you're going home lower your expectations of the folks being different yeah I know what they're going to ask tough questions if they're tough question answered asters and don't expect there to be different you'll be different right still don't go with this way go with with acceptance you know talk to me about you and just you know divert the conversation back to them and yeah maybe so persistent and you may have to set a boundary and say you know something I'm working on I'll get back to you or yeah %HESITATION but we don't have to get into the tassels we don't have to get into the tough stuff and we don't have to be tough you can just accept them where they are that's what's important to them they're concerned about your future they want to make sure that you're making money and you're on a good track and Nick you know yeah they may come across as as to inquisitive and too judgmental and those kind of things may be in your mind but try and put yourself in their shoes for a little moment and just say okay they're really concerned that I'm going to be able to take care of myself in a good way and that I am going to be a successful human and this is their way of doing it right exactly exactly and you know as you were talking I kept getting this feeling of large traction if you're going to be judging them they're gonna be judging you stop with the judgment and as you say accept them for who they are no accept you for who you are the mayor they may not I mean we each work to our capacity but the only focus that each one of us could have is and who we are and how we're being and that we're living from our values and vision and beliefs and so you know sometimes people say well you know I'm going I have my mother wants me to come home and I don't like her at all what should I do my question is always who are you yeah and they say well what do you mean I said well you are the person who can have the capacity to go except your mother how she is because you want to see here or can't you live without regrets because you don't care for your mother and how she behaves in life and you don't want to make a wrong either so you just don't go right but if the question is who are you and how do you process what do you do what is representative of you living from your values not how do I how do I eight exchange things with other people this how do I be me and then I can after the into change I can say yeah that was me I I stood in my truth I stood in my integrity and my authenticity and I was kind you know what the Terry one of my favorite quotes and I've been using this now for thirty years %HESITATION it was written by a Jesuit high priest ten he said the genius of good communication is to be totally kind and totally honest at the same time when you can muster being totally kind and totally honest at the same time here could you can relax right running into and what a phenomenal place two entities interaction with you being totally kind I just love it absolutely love it we're very sheller thank you so much for being here today in a week in the possibilities M. launching our very first episode in such magnificent fashion as always I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for also being a great friend right now it's my pleasure to be with you in a moment I'm honored to be your first guest and I hope everybody understands that when you get to know yourself and you live from that you can follow my other great important formula and that is H. E. B. B. whether you're thinking of yourself where you're thinking of another human A. B. B. and that stands for always be leave behavior hello I remember to working people get in touch with you %HESITATION you can find me at transforming relationship dot com when you go there you will see that there's a place you can click on for blogs and for podcasts and that'll take you out so to my you tube channel thank you so much for birthday and to my listening audience you can find out more about what it is that we do it intuitively to ship dot com awaken the possibilities where we help entrepreneurs and leaders leap off the stress him just real of life and shift out of chaos into calm ease and flow I'm your host Terry will demand and I look forward to sharing many future episodes with you in the coming year to your success and have a fantastic holiday season See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In this episode, Devi chats with Dr. Rhoberta Shaler about “How Relationships Impact Your Business and Your Life.” As a relationship consultant, mediator, speaker, and author, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor, provides urgent and ongoing care for relationships in crisis.  Her mission is to help people stop tolerating abuse. Even the United States Marines have sought her help.  Dr. Shaler focuses on helping the partners, exes, and adult children of the relentlessly difficult people she calls “Hijackals®.” She offers strategies for dealing with the constant uncertainty and jaw-dropping behaviors of the difficult, toxic people she calls Hijackals®. Author of sixteen books including Escaping the Hijackal Trap and Stop! That’s Crazy-Making! How to Stop Playing the Passive-Aggressive Game.  She is the host of three podcasts: Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, Save Your Sanity: Help for Handling Hijackals, and Focus on Forward: Fuel for a Fearless Future. Her YouTube channel, ForRelationshipHelp.com has reached over 200,000 views. Devi and Dr Rhoberta discuss: Dr Rhoberta’s experiences as a relationship coach The definition of a “Hijackal” The characteristics of a “Hijackal” Marriage as a "union of two souls for the perfection of the both" When to stop working on yourself The benefits of shifting and working on yourself, when you are in a relationship The unbalanced relationship Three things that help to develop a positive relationship The importance of equality in a relationship Expanding the equality in a relationship Mutuality in a relationship Creating oneness in a relationship Knowing when it’s time to step away from a “Hijackal” relationship Hallmarks of “Hijackals” Seeing the patterns and cycles in a “Hijackal” relationship Getting some help in withdrawing from a “Hijackal” relationship Having a healthy exit from a relationship Sustaining strong boundaries Acknowledging that you deserve space and progress Stating what you prefer in a relationship, rather than blaming Listening to other people’s feelings and not "fixing" them Documenting everything when there is physical violence Not rationalizing and justifying bad behavior The fine line between a giver and seeing a person who doesn’t have mutuality in mind Believing that you matter and more… Learn more about Dr Rhobera: Connect with her on her website @ www.forrelationshiphelp.com Youtube: For Relationship Help Podcast: Emotional Savvy Book: “How to Spot a Hijackal”

Rhoberta Shaler is a PhD and she's called the Relationship Help Doctor. She's a relationship consultant mediator, and speaker, who provides urgent and ongoing care for relationships in crisis. And she does that around the world. Rhoberta empowers people to recognize emotional abuse and stop tolerating it and reclaim their lives. She's the author of 16 books, hosts two podcasts and a popular YouTube channel that has over 200,000 views. She screws the commute and works from home. Screw The Commute Podcast Show Notes Episode 096 Internet Marketing Training Center - https://imtcva.org/ Higher Education Webinar – https://screwthecommute.com/webinars 02:46 Tom's introduction to Rhoberta Shaler 05:15 Finding herself on her own with three kids 09:05 Taking a risk and keeping a promise to herself 10:54 Tips to folks that want to go out on their own 12:11 The best and worst parts of working for yourself 13:50 Writing about the "Hijackals" 25:57 Sponsor message 29:09 A typical day for Rhoberta and how she stays motivated 33:25 Parting thoughts for us Screwballs Entrepreneurial Resources Mentioned in This Podcast Higher Education Webinar – It's the second webinar on the page: https://screwthecommute.com/webinars Screw The Commute - https://screwthecommute.com/ Screw The Commute Podcast App - https://screwthecommute.com/app/ Know a young person for our Youth Episode Series? Send an email to Tom! - orders@antion.com Have a Roku box? Find Tom's Public Speaking Channel there! - https://channelstore.roku.com/details/267358/the-public-speaking-channel Scam Brigade - https://scambrigade.com/   Rhoberta's website - https://www.forrelationshiphelp.com/ Books on Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/Rhoberta-Shaler/e/B009H79J2W Emotional Savvy podcast - https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/emotional-savvy-the-relationship-help-show/id1370281618 Save Your Sanity podcast - https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/save-your-sanity/id1142068098 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/ForRelationshipHelp/ Free Ebook - http://www.Hijackals.com Internet Marketing Training Center - https://imtcva.org/ Related Episodes Orrin Hudson - https://screwthecommute.com/95/ More Entrepreneurial Resources for Home Based Business, Lifestyle Business, Passive Income, Professional Speaking and Online Business I discovered a great new headline / subject line / subheading generator that will actually analyze which headlines and subject lines are best for your market. I negotiated a deal with the developer of this revolutionary and inexpensive software. Oh, and it's good on Mac and PC. Go here: http://jvz1.com/c/41743/183906 The Wordpress Ecourse. Learn how to Make World Class Websites for $20 or less. https://www.GreatInternetMarketing.com/wordpressecourse Join our Private Facebook Group! One week trial for only a buck and then $37 a month, or save a ton with one payment of $297 for a year. Click the image to see all the details and sign up or go to https://www.greatinternetmarketing.com/screwthecommute/After you sign up, check your email for instructions on getting in the group.  

The Relationship Help Doctor, Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, provides urgent and ongoing care for relationships in crisis. Even the United States Marines have called on her for help! As a relationship consultant, mediator, and speaker, Dr. Shaler particularly helps the partners, exes, and adult children of the relentlessly difficult people she calls "Hijackals®." She helps them save their sanity and stop the crazy-making. She defines Hijackals as people who hijack relationships--for their own purposes--while relentlessly scavenging them for power, status, and control. Dr. Rhoberta shares her insights on love and relationships with Mark Alyn.

The Relationship Help Doctor, Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, provides urgent and ongoing care for relationships in crisis. Even the United States Marines have called on her for help! As a relationship consultant, mediator, and speaker, Dr. Shaler particularly helps the partners, exes, and adult children of the relentlessly difficult people she calls "Hijackals®." She helps them save their sanity and stop the crazy-making. She defines Hijackals as people who hijack relationships--for their own purposes--while relentlessly scavenging them for power, status, and control. Dr. Rhoberta shares her insights on love and relationships with Mark Alyn.

The Relationship Help Doctor, Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, provides urgent and ongoing care for relationships in crisis. Even the United States Marines have called on her for help!As a relationship consultant, mediator, and speaker, Dr. Shaler particularly helps the partners, exes, and adult children of the relentlessly difficult people she calls "Hijackals®." She helps them save their sanity and stop the crazy-making. She defines Hijackals as people who hijack relationships--for their own purposes--while relentlessly scavenging them for power, status, and control. Dr. Rhoberta shares her insights on love and relationships with Mark Alyn.

The Relationship Help Doctor, Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, provides urgent and ongoing care for relationships in crisis. Even the United States Marines have called on her for help!As a relationship consultant, mediator, and speaker, Dr. Shaler particularly helps the partners, exes, and adult children of the relentlessly difficult people she calls "Hijackals®." She helps them save their sanity and stop the crazy-making. She defines Hijackals as people who hijack relationships--for their own purposes--while relentlessly scavenging them for power, status, and control. Dr. Rhoberta shares her insights on love and relationships with Mark Alyn.

Have you ever had a relationship that made you feel crazy, confused, and controlled? Maybe you felt powerless at the same time as blamed for everything? You may have been mesmerized by a hijackal. After surviving a childhood of emotional turmoil and psychological distortion from her parents, Rhoberta Shaler began a lifelong exploration to heal that led her to define the term Hijackals®. Rhoberta's intense childhood experience, and subsequent toxic relationships derived from early conditioning, fueled her passion to demystify and disempower the hijackals of her own life. She now shares her mastery from decades of spiritual and psychological training as The Relationship Help Doctor through her blog, podcasts, books, and speaking. Watch this interview with Rhoberta for keen insights that expose the patterns of Hijackals® so you can spot them in your own life, and take steps to regain your sanity. Listen to Emotionally Savvy: The Relationship Help Show Take the Relationship Checklist About Dr Rhoberta Shaler As a relationship consultant, mediator, speaker and author, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor, provides urgent and ongoing care for relationships in crisis.  Her mission is to help people stop tolerating abuse. Even the United States Marines have sought her help. Dr. Shaler focuses on helping the partners, exes, and adult children of the relentlessly difficult people she calls “Hijackals®.” She offers strategies for dealing with the constant uncertainty and jaw-dropping behaviors of the difficult, toxic people she calls Hijackals®. Author of sixteen books including Escaping the Hijackal Trap and Stop! That's Crazy-Making! How to Stop Playing the Passive-Aggressive Game.  She is the host of two podcasts:  Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show and Save Your Sanity: Help for Handling Hijackals, and her own channel, Emotional Savvy, on the Binge TV Network. Connect with Rhoberta: Web: https://www.forrelationshiphelp.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationshiphelpdoctor YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/ForRelationshipHelp Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/rhobertashaler Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drrhobertashaler/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rhobertashaler   YOUR GUIDE TO SOUL NECTAR – KERRI HUMMINGBIRD SAMI I love mentoring women to rewrite the story of their lives through inner transformation, connection to essence, remembrance of purpose, and realignment to authenticity and truth. If you don't want to settle for anything less than a life of passion and purpose, book a Discovery Call and let's talk! Schedule today! http://bit.ly/2CpFHFZ FREE GIFT: The Love Mastery Game, an oracle for revealing your soul's curriculum in every day challenges. http://www.kerrihummingbird.com/play Do you lack the confidence to trust yourself and go for what you want? When you take actions towards your dreams, does self-doubt infect your certainty? Do you find yourself distracting and numbing while also feeling something is missing inside? Do you feel disrespected and like your wisdom is being dismissed? Do you have a hard time asking for what you need? You may benefit from healing the Mother Wound and reconnecting with the Divine Mother for love. Find out more at www.motherwoundbook.com You may be a member of The Second Wave, here to uplift human consciousness from the inside out by healing patterns of suffering that run through your ancestry. Find out about “The Second Wave: Transcending the Human Drama” and receive a guided meditation at www.thesecondwave.media READ an Excerpt from the Award-Winning memoir, Awakening To Me.

  Protection from Holiday Hijackals with Dr. Roberta Shaler Dr. Rhoberta Shaler knows how to handle people who hijack your energy and rob you of some of the best moments of your life. They can pop up in any area; family members, romantic partners, co-workers, neighbors, store clerks, you name it. These hijackals are at least consistent. Thankfully! That's why this episode is a must listen if you're heading home for the holidays and dreading Aunt Bea, your in-laws, your older sister, your dad, or anyone else who always seems to push your buttons and bring you down. Dr. Shaler has a bunch of free content and a low-cost group coaching program through Patreon that can help you if you need some guidance navigating the minefield of the hijackal. Mentioned in this episode... The low-cost group coaching Patreon.com/RhobertaShaler Save Your Sanity https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/save-your-sanity/id1142068098?mt=2 The FREE Personal Integrity Checklist https://www.forrelationshiphelp.com/pic/ The Emotional Savvy Show https://podmust.com/podcast/emotional-savvy/ The FREE Identifying Passive Aggressive Behavior Checklist and The Relationship checklists https://www.forrelationshiphelp.com/checklists/ For Relationships https://www.forrelationshiphelp.com/ Rhoberta's YouTube Channel - urgent care for relationships in trouble https://www.youtube.com/user/ForRelationshipHelp/videos    

Thank you, Rhoberta Shaler, for joining me today on the Born To Talk Radio Show Podcast.  I learned so much from you!  Rhoberta is also a Podcaster and the Author of 16 books.  We talked about a couple of them today including: Kaizen for Couples: Smart Steps to Save, Sustain &  Strengthen Your Relationship and Wrestling Rhinos: Conquering... The post Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor appeared first on Born To Talk.

Thank you, Rhoberta Shaler, for joining me today on the Born To Talk Radio Show Podcast.  I learned so much from you!  Rhoberta is also a Podcaster and the Author of 16 books.  We talked about a couple of them today including: Kaizen for Couples: Smart Steps to Save, Sustain &  Strengthen Your Relationship and Wrestling Rhinos: Conquering... The post Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor appeared first on Born To Talk.

EMOTIONAL SAVVY: The Relationship Help Showwith Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorStop Emotional Energy Leaks! What About Forgiveness?GUEST: Brenda Adelman, Acclaimed Actor. Author. Recipient of Hero of Forgiveness Award. ---------------------------------------------DR. RHOBERTA SHALER: Do You Have Unfinished Business from Emotional Energy Leaks? What are emotional energy leaks?procrastinationdenialresentmentsgrudgesunresolved relationship issuesfor a few! Which ones are plaguing you?Rhoberta gives you insights into why you may be keeping these leaks in place, and why you need to get rid of them now. You are holding yourself back, creating obstacles, and preventing your growth towards satisfying goals in life.GUEST: Brenda Adelman. Author of My Father Killed My Mother and Married My Aunt: Forgiving the Unforgivable Brenda is an award-winning actor, a recipient of a Hero of Forgiveness award, and a sought after guest. She's performed her critically-acclaimed one-woman show, My Brooklyn Hamlet, about the power of forgiving the unforgivable for over 12,000 people worldwide, including women prisoners, youth-at-risk, domestic violence coalitions, spiritual communities, and the US Military.Brenda teaches mission-drive entrepreneurs how to use their story to heal themselves, inspire others, and be memorable on stage and video.Today, Brenda offers her three-step, proven forgiveness process to help you on your journey to ending your energy leaks!HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Brenda tells her horrific story of loss and how she came to forgive her father for killing her motherWhat is forgiveness?Why we should engage with it when the pain is still thereWhat needs to change in your thinking to make forgiveness possibleWhat people find most challenging about forgiveness...and whyWhat to do to forgive now.This episode brings a new topic to Emotional Savvy, as well as a refreshing and different perspective on the practical and spiritual aspects of forgiveness, even in the most seeming impossible circumstance. The Relationship Help Show, a new voice, a new vision. Enjoy!HIS FREE GIFT: Brenda offers you her ebook. CLICK HERECONNECT WITH BRENDA ADELMANWebsite: ForgivenessandFreedom.comTwitter: @BrendaAAdelmanLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/BrendaAAdelmanFacebook: Facebook.com/BrendaAAdelmanCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerFree Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsIf you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#unconditionallove #creating peace #relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #intimacy #emotionalintimacy #mindbodyconnection #forgiveness See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

EMOTIONAL SAVVY: The Relationship Help Showwith Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorStop Emotional Energy Leaks! What About Forgiveness?GUEST: Brenda Adelman, Acclaimed Actor. Author. Recipient of Hero of Forgiveness Award. ---------------------------------------------DR. RHOBERTA SHALER: Do You Have Unfinished Business from Emotional Energy Leaks? What are emotional energy leaks?procrastinationdenialresentmentsgrudgesunresolved relationship issuesfor a few! Which ones are plaguing you?Rhoberta gives you insights into why you may be keeping these leaks in place, and why you need to get rid of them now. You are holding yourself back, creating obstacles, and preventing your growth towards satisfying goals in life.GUEST: Brenda Adelman. Author of My Father Killed My Mother and Married My Aunt: Forgiving the Unforgivable Brenda is an award-winning actor, a recipient of a Hero of Forgiveness award, and a sought after guest. She's performed her critically-acclaimed one-woman show, My Brooklyn Hamlet, about the power of forgiving the unforgivable for over 12,000 people worldwide, including women prisoners, youth-at-risk, domestic violence coalitions, spiritual communities, and the US Military.Brenda teaches mission-drive entrepreneurs how to use their story to heal themselves, inspire others, and be memorable on stage and video.Today, Brenda offers her three-step, proven forgiveness process to help you on your journey to ending your energy leaks!HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Brenda tells her horrific story of loss and how she came to forgive her father for killing her motherWhat is forgiveness?Why we should engage with it when the pain is still thereWhat needs to change in your thinking to make forgiveness possibleWhat people find most challenging about forgiveness...and whyWhat to do to forgive now.This episode brings a new topic to Emotional Savvy, as well as a refreshing and different perspective on the practical and spiritual aspects of forgiveness, even in the most seeming impossible circumstance. The Relationship Help Show, a new voice, a new vision. Enjoy!HIS FREE GIFT: Brenda offers you her ebook. CLICK HERECONNECT WITH BRENDA ADELMANWebsite: ForgivenessandFreedom.comTwitter: @BrendaAAdelmanLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/BrendaAAdelmanFacebook: Facebook.com/BrendaAAdelmanCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerFree Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsIf you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#unconditionallove #creating peace #relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #intimacy #emotionalintimacy #mindbodyconnection #forgiveness See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In episode 25 of the Pathway to Promise Podcast Dr. Brad Miller talks with “The Relationship Help Doctor Dr. Rhoberta Shaler about urgent and ongoing care for relationships in crisis. in particular, Brad and Rhoberta go deep on the mysterious topic of love and relationships.  Rhoberta makes the somewhat controversial contention that love is not enough in relationships and how the term unconditional love can be used as a weapon in relationships. The purpose of the Pathway to Promise Podcast is to help people understand that they have a God-given promised life of peace, prosperity, and purpose and that you need a pathway to guide you in overcome lives adversities to achieve that promised life.  Dr. Brad’s conversation with Dr. Shaler is a great example of a guide who can help couples, in particular, navigate crises in their relationships and deal with people she calls Hijackals® in order for the relationship to arrive at a better place. Dr. Shaler coined the term Hijackals® to describe people who people who hijack relationships for their own purposes while relentlessly scavenging them for power, status, and control.  Rhoberta describes to Brad her own experiences with her own mother and a difficult marriage and parenting which led her to have to learn how to deal with people who would seek to hijack their relationship. She used her personal experiences to fuel her desire to become The Relationship Help Doctor.  Now she helps people deal with relentlessly difficult and toxic people who are destructive to healthy relationships. Rhoberta speaks to Brad about the power of spirituality in relationships and how a spiritual path is important and when there is incongruity among partners on spiritual matters it is a challenge.  She goes on to say that emotional intimacy is the complaint that she deals with mostly working with couples. It is here that she shares with Brad her thoughts about how love is not enough in a relationship and how the notion of unconditional love can be used as a weapon. She shares with Brad to her belief that every relationship needs five relational gifts (honesty, safety,  trust, respect, reliability) and also need to embody the behaviors of equality, reciprocity, and mutuality all of which go well beyond the emotional aspects of love and relationship.   She goes on to share that when love is not understood with these needs and attributes than the notion of “unconditional love” can be used as a weapon. This is when one party uses the leverage of the emotion of “unconditional love” to take advantage of and even abuse their partner. In response to the challenges that couples face in their relationships, Dr. Shaler offers an approach she calls kaizen for couples which involves small incremental steps in improvement.  She uses the example of asking couples the question “how long has it been since you touched one another in a non-sexual way”? Often she finds that couples can rebuild intimacy incrementally by simply holding hands or brushing the shoulder.  This is part of a process she calls the self-improvement samba which involves a two steps forward one step back process still making progress. Dr. Shaler summarizes her teaching with the phrase “give only what you are willing to receive” which she first taught in a school setting and now makes it an integral part of her counseling for people with relationships in crisis. Episode 025 of The Pathway to Promise Podcast is an important lesson listen for any person or couple whose relationship is in crisis, dominated by drama, infected by toxic parents or overwhelmed by relentlessly difficult people. The Pathway to Promise Podcast is produced on a weekly basis by Dr. Brad Miller who brings 35 years of experience in Christian ministry and a doctoral degree in transformational leadership to the podcast through his teaching. He also has guests on the podcast on a regular basis who are...

EMOTIONAL SAVVY: The Relationship Help Showwith Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorCreating A Safe Place To Love Yourself...and Doing It GUEST: Pernilla Lillarose, Hakomi Therapist, Self-Love Mentor, and Founder of Young Women Empowerment Circle DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:In today's episode, Dr. Shaler talks about what the term, "self-love" really means. We hear it spoken of so frequently that we may not think about what it actually means. It's not about being vain, arrogant, conceited, or self-centered. It's a very positive thing...when done in the light of what Rhoberta says today!"I remember when I would say anything positive, or good about myself. My mother would say, "That's conceited. Don't brag." I was left to wonder if it was some terrible sin to say I did well on a science test. Am I not supposed to mention anything I do well? I wondered how this all worked. Maybe you were raised with that big question, too. Very confusing!"If this is at all familiar, listen in to recognize and realize that's all changed. It's healthy to have self-love, and it's the only thing that can help you find and enjoy healthy relationships, too. There is a new way of looking at self-love, and it's important to see it, enjoy it, and live fully expressing as a result.GUEST: Pernilla Lillarose, Hakomi Therapist Pernilla shows women who feel unfulfilled inside how to stop compromising themselves and pleasing others. She helps them trust what they already know, so they can act from wisdom and power and step out of situations where they are not living their own deepest truth.She is a Certified Hakomi Therapist, Self Love Mentor and Meditation Teacher and founder of Young Women Empowerment Circle. She is the author of numerous books relating to Self Love, Kindness and living in alignment with you who truly are. She also offers online classes about the global impact of True Self Love.During this episode, Pernilla talks about the importance of feeling love vs. hearing someone say they love you. That's HUGE!From a difficult childhood, Pernilla learned what it takes to actually feel loved, and to allow yourself to be loved, too.Here's some interview highlights:What is the distinction between hearing "I love you" and actually feeling lovedWhat does it take to "feel filled up" with loveWhy listening to yourself is essential to loving self-careIs it possible you're not allowing yourself to have your feelings, and truly feel into them?How anger can be your allyHER FREE GIFT: Pernilla Lillarose's free ebook Get it HERE.CONNECT WITH TRACY MALONE:Website: NarcissistAbuseSupport.comTwitter: @TracyAMaloneLinkedIn: Linkedin.com/in/TracyAMaloneFacebook: Facebook.com/groups/188681268196044CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpFree Passive-Aggressive Checklist Free Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for Relationships If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

EMOTIONAL SAVVY: The Relationship Help Showwith Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorCreating A Safe Place To Love Yourself...and Doing It GUEST: Pernilla Lillarose, Hakomi Therapist, Self-Love Mentor, and Founder of Young Women Empowerment Circle DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:In today's episode, Dr. Shaler talks about what the term, "self-love" really means. We hear it spoken of so frequently that we may not think about what it actually means. It's not about being vain, arrogant, conceited, or self-centered. It's a very positive thing...when done in the light of what Rhoberta says today!"I remember when I would say anything positive, or good about myself. My mother would say, "That's conceited. Don't brag." I was left to wonder if it was some terrible sin to say I did well on a science test. Am I not supposed to mention anything I do well? I wondered how this all worked. Maybe you were raised with that big question, too. Very confusing!"If this is at all familiar, listen in to recognize and realize that's all changed. It's healthy to have self-love, and it's the only thing that can help you find and enjoy healthy relationships, too. There is a new way of looking at self-love, and it's important to see it, enjoy it, and live fully expressing as a result.GUEST: Pernilla Lillarose, Hakomi Therapist Pernilla shows women who feel unfulfilled inside how to stop compromising themselves and pleasing others. She helps them trust what they already know, so they can act from wisdom and power and step out of situations where they are not living their own deepest truth.She is a Certified Hakomi Therapist, Self Love Mentor and Meditation Teacher and founder of Young Women Empowerment Circle. She is the author of numerous books relating to Self Love, Kindness and living in alignment with you who truly are. She also offers online classes about the global impact of True Self Love.During this episode, Pernilla talks about the importance of feeling love vs. hearing someone say they love you. That's HUGE!From a difficult childhood, Pernilla learned what it takes to actually feel loved, and to allow yourself to be loved, too.Here's some interview highlights:What is the distinction between hearing "I love you" and actually feeling lovedWhat does it take to "feel filled up" with loveWhy listening to yourself is essential to loving self-careIs it possible you're not allowing yourself to have your feelings, and truly feel into them?How anger can be your allyHER FREE GIFT: Pernilla Lillarose's free ebook Get it HERE.CONNECT WITH TRACY MALONE:Website: NarcissistAbuseSupport.comTwitter: @TracyAMaloneLinkedIn: Linkedin.com/in/TracyAMaloneFacebook: Facebook.com/groups/188681268196044CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpFree Passive-Aggressive Checklist Free Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for Relationships If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

“There are ways to be empowered to move toward taking the best steps for your physical, mental, and spiritual well being.” Have you ever heard the term “hijackle”? This word is trademarked and explained by Rhoberta Shaler, a relationship consultant, mediator, author and speaker from For Relationship help. Hijackles are people who hijack relationships for their own purposes and then relentlessly scavenge them for power and control. Listen in as Kim and Rhoberta dig in deep and discuss the traits of hijackers, how to handle them, and step up and move forward. Get the show notes, transcription and resources mentioned at https://thekimsutton.com/pp406 Highlights: 1:12 What Rhoberta does2:15 Trademark of “hijackles”3:52 Hijackles paint perfection7:35 Seeing the signs12:02 What to do if you find yourself in a relationship with a hijackle16:44 Safely reach out18:50 Law of attraction23:56 Personal weather reports27:30 Stop the shoulda, woulda, coulda’s29:38 Avoid becoming a hijackle yourself

EMOTIONAL SAVVY: The Relationship Help Showwith Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorHow to Speak Up Powerfully When You Want Things to Change - Episode 44GUEST: Tina Dietz, Speaker, Audiobook Publisher, Podcast Producer, Content Marketing Expert DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:In today's episode, Dr. Shaler shares compelling ideas about how you can be keeping yourself from having the life and relationships you most want.What's getting in your way? What's stopping you? Do you know? Stop and think about it...seriously.How are you with reasons, rationalizations, justifications, and plain ol' excuses? Maybe, it's time to think them through and see how they are serving you. Listen in for insights and inspiration for moving forward more powerfully.You deserve to take up space and draw breath, so, why not take stock and see if you're making the most of it? There is no right way to be, and you are at your best when you are examining, and re-examining your focus, your goals, and your desired results. Rhoberta will help you think that through today. Listen in and be inspired to move in the direction of the life and love you want.GUEST: Tina Dietz, Speaker, Audiobook Publisher, Podcast Producer, Content Marketing Expert Tina Dietz is an award-winning and internationally acclaimed speaker, audiobook publisher, podcast producer, and content marketing expert who has been featured on media outlets including ABC. Inc.com, Huffington Post, and Forbes. Tina's podcast, The Start Something Show, was named by INC magazine as one of the top 35 podcasts for entrepreneurs. Tina's company, StartSomething Creative Business Solutions, connects leaders, entrepreneurs and experts with larger audiences, resulting in expanded influence and income. Tina divides her time between the US and Cost Rica, where she is part of a leadership team building a conscious community called Vista Mundo.Tina knows some big things about speaking up! In fact, you could say she's outspoken...lol! With her support, so many people have found their voice and created their businesses, including podcasts. She helps them to become outspoken, too, to give the world the power of their insights, learning, and strategies for growth.How does someone's voice affect you? Are you aware of its effect on you? You actually are calibrating another person's voice without even realizing...and so is everyone else!How does your voice affect others? Your voice speaks volume--even before the impact of your words! Your early life set you up for how you listen, what you pick up, and what you ignore or deny. What did you take on, and how is it serving me now?Tina Dietz help people express themselves in the world through audio publishing. In Part Two of today's episode, Tina shared her entrepreneurial journey, and how she came to her current work. She is an international expert at helping her clients turn their books and ideas, into audio books and products.How to ask good questions is imperative to interviewing others. Big talking points about this today!So many turns and twists in this episode through life stories, Hijackals, and creating a wonderful business. You'll enjoy this, I think!Here's some interview highlights:Do you realize how you use your listening to navigate your life and relationships?Are you in tune with it?Why is it that you can hear your name spoken, even in a crowded room?What did you learn early in life about who you are, and how intuitive you are?Tina gives you insights into why this is and what the impact of it is on how you create your life, relationships, and business.HER FREE GIFT: Tina's ebook, Launch Your Audio Book. Get it HERE.CONNECT WITH TINA DIETZ:Website: StartSomethingCreativeBizSolutions.comTwitter: @TheSuperStarterLinkedIn: Linkedin.com/in/TinaDietzFacebook: Facebook.com/StartSomethingBusinessSolutionsCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

EMOTIONAL SAVVY: The Relationship Help Showwith Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorHow to Speak Up Powerfully When You Want Things to Change - Episode 44GUEST: Tina Dietz, Speaker, Audiobook Publisher, Podcast Producer, Content Marketing Expert DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:In today's episode, Dr. Shaler shares compelling ideas about how you can be keeping yourself from having the life and relationships you most want.What's getting in your way? What's stopping you? Do you know? Stop and think about it...seriously.How are you with reasons, rationalizations, justifications, and plain ol' excuses? Maybe, it's time to think them through and see how they are serving you. Listen in for insights and inspiration for moving forward more powerfully.You deserve to take up space and draw breath, so, why not take stock and see if you're making the most of it? There is no right way to be, and you are at your best when you are examining, and re-examining your focus, your goals, and your desired results. Rhoberta will help you think that through today. Listen in and be inspired to move in the direction of the life and love you want.GUEST: Tina Dietz, Speaker, Audiobook Publisher, Podcast Producer, Content Marketing Expert Tina Dietz is an award-winning and internationally acclaimed speaker, audiobook publisher, podcast producer, and content marketing expert who has been featured on media outlets including ABC. Inc.com, Huffington Post, and Forbes. Tina's podcast, The Start Something Show, was named by INC magazine as one of the top 35 podcasts for entrepreneurs. Tina's company, StartSomething Creative Business Solutions, connects leaders, entrepreneurs and experts with larger audiences, resulting in expanded influence and income. Tina divides her time between the US and Cost Rica, where she is part of a leadership team building a conscious community called Vista Mundo.Tina knows some big things about speaking up! In fact, you could say she's outspoken...lol! With her support, so many people have found their voice and created their businesses, including podcasts. She helps them to become outspoken, too, to give the world the power of their insights, learning, and strategies for growth.How does someone's voice affect you? Are you aware of its effect on you? You actually are calibrating another person's voice without even realizing...and so is everyone else!How does your voice affect others? Your voice speaks volume--even before the impact of your words! Your early life set you up for how you listen, what you pick up, and what you ignore or deny. What did you take on, and how is it serving me now?Tina Dietz help people express themselves in the world through audio publishing. In Part Two of today's episode, Tina shared her entrepreneurial journey, and how she came to her current work. She is an international expert at helping her clients turn their books and ideas, into audio books and products.How to ask good questions is imperative to interviewing others. Big talking points about this today!So many turns and twists in this episode through life stories, Hijackals, and creating a wonderful business. You'll enjoy this, I think!Here's some interview highlights:Do you realize how you use your listening to navigate your life and relationships?Are you in tune with it?Why is it that you can hear your name spoken, even in a crowded room?What did you learn early in life about who you are, and how intuitive you are?Tina gives you insights into why this is and what the impact of it is on how you create your life, relationships, and business.HER FREE GIFT: Tina's ebook, Launch Your Audio Book. Get it HERE.CONNECT WITH TINA DIETZ:Website: StartSomethingCreativeBizSolutions.comTwitter: @TheSuperStarterLinkedIn: Linkedin.com/in/TinaDietzFacebook: Facebook.com/StartSomethingBusinessSolutionsCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

EMOTIONAL SAVVY: The Relationship Help Showwith Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorChange Your Life with Powerful Self-Talk & Heart-Centered Focus - Episode 43GUEST: Candy Barone of You Empowered Strong: YES! Catalyst and change agentDR. RHOBERTA SHALER:In today's episode, Dr. Shaler shares compelling ideas about how you can be keeping yourself from having the life and relationships you most want.What's getting in your way? What's stopping you? Do you know? Stop and think about it...seriously.How are you with reasons, rationalizations, justifications, and plain ol' excuses? Maybe, it's time to think them through and see how they are serving you. Listen in for insights and inspiration for moving forward more powerfully.You deserve to take up space and draw breath, so, why not take stock and see if you're making the most of it? There is no right way to be, and you are at your best when you are examining, and re-examining your focus, your goals, and your desired results. Rhoberta will help you think that through today. Listen in and be inspired to move in the direction of the life and love you want.GUEST: Candy Barone of You Empowered Strong: YES!Candy Barone is a leadership expert, a trainer, and executive coach. As a catalyst and change agent, she works with executives and emerging leaders to help bring "heart" back to leadership while feeding the soul of their business. With twenty years in corporate, she is a master at building exceptional, high-performing teams, maximizing and leveraging ROI, growing emerging leaders, and catapulting individuals to achieve explosive growth.No matter where you are in life--home or work--you're going to experience some difficult conversations. You'll meet some conflict, and some unreasonably folks, too. To be effective--and to feel really good about yourself--you start with the conversations you're having with yourself...especially the ones you don't want to examine.Candy shares insights on knowing if your inner dialogue needs a tune-up. If it's not working for you, or it's not sufficiently empowering, you are settling for less in life.Great tips on more empowering ways to talk to yourself and why it's important for having the life and career you say you want. Self-talk is the beginning of everything in your life.What does it mean to be a leader in your own life? What does it take to be a leader...anywhere?Knowing how to have what Candy calls "courageous, connected conversations" makes a huge difference in your potential for growth. You need to get comfortable having difficult conversations, to learn to have healthy conversations about conflict.Are you ready? It might be daunting and difficult at first, but the rewards are HUGE!Listen in and get these tips and insights to empower yourself to have a better, courageous, connected day!Here's some interview highlights:How does your language have to change to be more empowering when you're speaking to yourselfWhat strategies will work when you walk towards difficult conversations, rather than shy awayWhy it is imperative to give up fear of conflict, and develop confidenceWhat gets in the way of most folks and how they prevent themselves from having what they wantHER FREE GIFT: Take Candy Barone's "Say YES!" quiz HERE. CONNECT WITH CANDY BARONE:Website: CandyBaroneInternational.comTwitter: @Candy_Barone LinkedIn: Linkedin.com/in/candybaroneFacebook: Facebook.com/YouEmpoweredStrongInstagram: Instagram.com/candy_baroneCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

EMOTIONAL SAVVY: The Relationship Help Showwith Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorChange Your Life with Powerful Self-Talk & Heart-Centered Focus - Episode 43GUEST: Candy Barone of You Empowered Strong: YES! Catalyst and change agentDR. RHOBERTA SHALER:In today's episode, Dr. Shaler shares compelling ideas about how you can be keeping yourself from having the life and relationships you most want.What's getting in your way? What's stopping you? Do you know? Stop and think about it...seriously.How are you with reasons, rationalizations, justifications, and plain ol' excuses? Maybe, it's time to think them through and see how they are serving you. Listen in for insights and inspiration for moving forward more powerfully.You deserve to take up space and draw breath, so, why not take stock and see if you're making the most of it? There is no right way to be, and you are at your best when you are examining, and re-examining your focus, your goals, and your desired results. Rhoberta will help you think that through today. Listen in and be inspired to move in the direction of the life and love you want.GUEST: Candy Barone of You Empowered Strong: YES!Candy Barone is a leadership expert, a trainer, and executive coach. As a catalyst and change agent, she works with executives and emerging leaders to help bring "heart" back to leadership while feeding the soul of their business. With twenty years in corporate, she is a master at building exceptional, high-performing teams, maximizing and leveraging ROI, growing emerging leaders, and catapulting individuals to achieve explosive growth.No matter where you are in life--home or work--you're going to experience some difficult conversations. You'll meet some conflict, and some unreasonably folks, too. To be effective--and to feel really good about yourself--you start with the conversations you're having with yourself...especially the ones you don't want to examine.Candy shares insights on knowing if your inner dialogue needs a tune-up. If it's not working for you, or it's not sufficiently empowering, you are settling for less in life.Great tips on more empowering ways to talk to yourself and why it's important for having the life and career you say you want. Self-talk is the beginning of everything in your life.What does it mean to be a leader in your own life? What does it take to be a leader...anywhere?Knowing how to have what Candy calls "courageous, connected conversations" makes a huge difference in your potential for growth. You need to get comfortable having difficult conversations, to learn to have healthy conversations about conflict.Are you ready? It might be daunting and difficult at first, but the rewards are HUGE!Listen in and get these tips and insights to empower yourself to have a better, courageous, connected day!Here's some interview highlights:How does your language have to change to be more empowering when you're speaking to yourselfWhat strategies will work when you walk towards difficult conversations, rather than shy awayWhy it is imperative to give up fear of conflict, and develop confidenceWhat gets in the way of most folks and how they prevent themselves from having what they wantHER FREE GIFT: Take Candy Barone's "Say YES!" quiz HERE. CONNECT WITH CANDY BARONE:Website: CandyBaroneInternational.comTwitter: @Candy_Barone LinkedIn: Linkedin.com/in/candybaroneFacebook: Facebook.com/YouEmpoweredStrongInstagram: Instagram.com/candy_baroneCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Today's Save Your Sanity Podcast: Help for Handling Hijackals®from Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor "It Happened To Me" is a feature of the Save Your Sanity podcast. Guests tell their real life stories of life with Hijackals. Whether they loved on, lived with one, left one, or were raised by one, you'll relate to their experiences, and hear how they found ways to move positively forward.Today, it's Dr. Shaler's own story.Would you like to come on air and tell your "It Happened To Me" story? I'd love to have you as my guest. Use this guest form: ForRelationshipHelp.com/guestsWant to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Follow Your “Yes” Friday is about you......taking a step forward in your partnerships by taking action and applying at least one thing you heard from our guests during their interviews this week. On today’s episode, all of this week’s guests have generously provided Dr. , not included in the interviews you listened to earlier this week. Each one has provided incredible examples of the power of following your “Yes”. Enjoy!  Joanna Kennedy (https://speakingofpartnership.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Joanna-Kennedy-600x400-wborder.png) Not Following - Joanna had some very clear hits that things weren’t right with her relationship prior to her marriage. He was Prince Charming, and that made it even harder to listen to her “Yes.” Ultimately two really good people are divorced just 4 years after they were married because they weren’t paying attention. Following - In her current love relationship she found her mind was questioning it, but when she checked in with her body and spirit has continually said yes. And it has been a profound opportunity to experience partnership in its truest form. Listen to Joanna’s full interview here (https://speakingofpartnership.com/022-joanna-kennedy/) Connect with Joanna - www.thepathofintimacy.com (http://www.thepathofintimacy.com) Joanna’s Facebook Page (https://www.facebook.com/happinessloveandpleasure) Dr. Rhoberta Shaler (https://speakingofpartnership.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Rhoberta-Shaler-600x400-wborder.jpg) Not Following - As a young mother with a couple of kids she had a very clear “Yes” that she needed to write. She went to a woman she knew who had a very successful career and told her, and this woman made fun of her and Rhoberta shut down and she didn’t write for years. Following - As her youngest child was finishing school she got a “Yes” that she could do anything she wanted. All the things she did on weekends could become her life. Was it a risk, yes. But she followed that “Yes” and quit her job. And very shortly was living in San Diego living that dream. Listen to Rhoberta's full interview here (https://speakingofpartnership.com/023-rhoberta-shaler/) Connect with Rhoberta - www.hijackals.com (http://www.hijackals.com) www.ForRelationshipHelp.com (http://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com) Rhoberta’s Facebook Page (https://www.facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor/?fref=ts) Gay Hendricks (https://speakingofpartnership.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/GayHendricksHeadshot-600x400-wborder.jpeg) Not Following - Gay was considering a business proposition and when he tuned into it he got a Yes, but he also got a niggle about one of the partners. His mind was saying Yes, but something in his body was not liking it.  Gay overlooked the niggle and it ended up costing him a lot of hassles and time in meetings he would rather not attend and ultimately the whole thing tanked. Following - Now he looks for a full body Yes. In 1980 when he met Katie, he had just gotten out of a relationship. And when he met her he said to her, “I only want relationships where both people are committed to telling the truth and… It worked so well, they have been together now for 36 years and counting. Listen to Alison’s full interview here (https://speakingofpartnership.com/019-alison-armstrong/) Connect with Gay - www.hendricks.com (http://www.hendricks.com) Gay’s Facebook Page (https://www.facebook.com/relationshipadvice) (https://speakingofpartnership.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Promo-Image-FYYF-5.png)

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, is known as The Relationship Help Doctor, she is a relationship consultant, speaker and author.  Dr. Shaler offers urgent and ongoing care for couples and companies globally. For over thirty years in both Canada and the United States, Dr. Shaler has calmed the turbulence of troubled relationships. She offers the insights and pattern-breaking skills that lead to blame-free, game-free, non-manipulative relationships. Her book, KAIZEN FOR COUPLES: Smart Steps to Save, Sustain & Strengthen Your Relationship was released in 2014, and ESCAPING THE HIJACKAL TRAP: The Definitive Guide to Dealing with Chronically Difficult People ebook series in 2016. Her specialty is working with the partners, ex’s, and co-workers of chronically difficult people. Guiding Principle, Quote or Mantra What is important is simple. Know what you value. Invest your time accordingly. This is integrity. And it will bring you peace. When You Tripped Up Rhoberta was raised by a Hijackal.  Many years ago, she was dating a guy and she was not noticing the red flags. Not noticing he was a Hijackal because to her his behaviors were familiar from childhood. For a while, she fell for the manipulation.  Hijackals are very charming and they can be skilled at subtle ways of playing on your sympathy and empathy. The “DUH” moment that changed your partnerships forever When you are raised by someone who is, what Rhoberta calls, chronically difficult, dysfunctional behaviors seem familiar and is ingrained in you. Rhoberta's “DUH” moment was when she recognized how she was set up to attract people into her life who are like her mother. Someone who never takes responsibility for things and is always blaming you. Proudest moment in partnership One of the things that kept Rhoberta going in her earlier relationships was the belief that it was possible to have a relationship that is completely mutual.  Her husband took a long time to find, and what they have is what she always believed was possible.  She met him online.  Listen to what she said to in her profile that attracted him. It is brilliant! BONUS - Find out what a Hokey Pokey Relationship is. What is the best partnership / relationship advice you have ever received? [spp-tweet tweet="The truth is what you do."] Best Partnership Book (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1592853633/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1592853633&linkCode=as2&tag=speakofpartn-20&linkId=ISIOZPV2YNDZOF3Q) The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tools and Techniques to Stop Walking on Eggshells (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1592853633/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1592853633&linkCode=as2&tag=speakofpartn-20&linkId=L2AI76MN62P7XUEC) (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0971168962/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0971168962&linkCode=as2&tag=speakofpartn-20&linkId=BZZMREQNRV2TRRD7) Kaizen for Couples: Smart Steps to Save, Sustain & Strengthen Your Relationship (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0971168962/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0971168962&linkCode=as2&tag=speakofpartn-20&linkId=XOKPAVMLYPSUNWYA) (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01DXEQ3XC/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B01DXEQ3XC&linkCode=as2&tag=speakofpartn-20&linkId=E6TSFIO7Q4QSSKNG) Escaping The Hijackal Trap: The Definitive Guide to Dealing with Chronically Difficult People: Volume One: The Truth About Hijackals and Why They Are Crazy-Making...

In this fireside chat episode, Angie Swartz sits down with Relationship Expert Rhoberta Shaler to discuss how romantic relationship impacts life purpose. "Love Yourself as Much You Would Like Someone Else to Love You and It Will Come True" -Rhoberta Shaler Relationship and Purpose Fireside Chat Angie and Rhoberta discuss: Whether or not you should leave the relationship you're in. How a supportive versus non-supportive relationship can make all the difference. The soul work that is always one's own to do regardless of what we might want to blame on our partners. The Seven Rights of Life Easy Steps to Take to Understand What Your Relationship is Telling You Links Mentioned on this Episode Full Interview with Rhoberta Shaler on Episode 13. Rhoberta Shaler's Website Rhoberta Shaler's Books: Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up Kaizen for Couples: Smart Steps to Save, Sustain & Strengthen  About Rhoberta Shaler As The Relationship Help Doctor, Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, offers urgent and ongoing care for couples. Dr. Shaler calms the turbulence of troubled relationships and creates the insights, skills and space for new beginnings and positive re-connections. She offers the insights and pattern-breaking skills that lead to blame-free, game-free, non-manipulative relationships at home and at work. Dr. Shaler created The Optimize Center in Escondido, CA, and works with couples globally. Subscribe to the Life Purpose Advisor Podcast To subscribe and review the Life Purpose Advisor podcast on iTunes.  Click here.  (Your reviews keep us growing so you'll hear more great stories from difference makers.)  

Helping couples has been Rhoberta Shaler's passion for years, and now it is her primary focus. In this episode Rhoberta talks about the necessity for leaving the past behind in order to build deeper and safer relationships. Her word and her world are all about Coupleology. Advice, help, and ideas for healthy relationships - including the one with yourself. Listen to her tips and tools for shifting life stories on this episode of Shift The Story podcast. And check out The Shift Hack at the end ..