Tough Love: Adoptees' Perspectives on Relationships

Jeanette has been an adoption therapist and foster care therapist in Los Angeles for over 20 years. She has worked also as a keynote speaker, training developer, associate therapist supervisor, foster care social worker, and is the clinical director of Yoffe Therapy Inc. She has trained social workers and therapists in trauma-informed practice for the Los Angeles County Child and Family Services and the Los Angeles Department of Mental Health. She also holds training for parents, social workers, and therapists on topics related to adoption and foster care challenges, parenting, the impact of pre-adoption trauma, grief/loss, open adoption, open foster care, attachment challenges and provides support to adult adoptees and foster youth searching for long lost family members, as well as assists in reunion and family reunification. View her trainings on her YouTube Channel @Jeanette-ically Speaking About Adoption, Foster Care & Mental Health. She is also the founder of Celia Center, a non-profit organization supporting all members in the adoption constellation via support groups, adoptee arts festivals, foster youth arts festivals, wolf healings, sailing and fishing and mental health conferences. https://yoffetherapy.com/jeanette-yoffe/

There really isn't much Rich Uhrlaub can't or won't do for the adoption community. He is truly dedicated to the adoptee community - politically, socially, musically, poetically, and spiritually. You can find Rich: Here (For the Records): https://www.ftrmusical.com Here (Adoption Search Resource Collection): https://www.asrconline.org/board-bios

There really isn't much Rich Uhrlaub can't or won't do for the adoption community. He is truly dedicated to the adoptee community - politically, socially, musically, poetically, and spiritually. You can find Rich: Here (For the Records): https://www.ftrmusical.com Here (Adoption Search Resource Collection): https://www.asrconline.org/board-bios

Join us as Joy Conway shares her adoption story. Joy emphasized the importance of being confident in your journey, the importance of setting boundaries, and the healing that can come from creative processes. You can find Joy on YouTube Follow us on Instagram @unearthingadoption E-mail us! unearthingadoption@gmail.com

Nadya Ierna hopped on the podcast to talk to us today about her adoption story and her senior project and presentation.

Lauren and Glenna discuss our last two episodes, and, what is to come! Find us on IG @unearthingadoption E-mail us! unearthingadoption@gmail.com

"Ferera Swan is a recording artist, songwriter, composer, pianist, violinist, and GRAMMY voting member of The Recording Academy. Today, the Austin, Texas-based cinematic-pop artist is boldly emerging from a transformative time of reclamation. Classically trained with the Suzuki Method, Ferera began piano lessons at age 3, violin at age 6, and began writing pieces for piano by age 10. By age 16, she composed her first cinematic score titled “Serenity”, which was premiered by four high school orchestras and piano after winning a district festival composition contest her senior year. Working out of her home studio in Austin, Texas to date, Ferera has released two albums under previous artist names and has written, co-produced, co-engineered, and arranged music for other artists in a wide variety of genres ranging from pop R&B, country, rock, and folk, as well as having worked as a vocalist, pianist and/or violinist session musician. Her vocals and voice-over work has been featured in various commercial jingles including a national advertisement for Old Navy, while also performing her original music live on radio and television in the Austin, Texas region. Her instrumental piece, “Lighthouse” was featured in the film documentary ‘Swim For The Reef' that premiered at the Cannes Film Festival in France. Sharing her personal story through music as an artist and adoptee, Ferera is passionate about raising awareness around adoption in support of family preservation and evolving society's mainstream adoption narrative. Her music is a vulnerable, unfiltered, and honest expression of the ongoing healing journey relevant to many, reaching the hearts of all listeners. Currently, Ferera is actively working on upcoming projects and over the past year, has helped launch Women In Music's very first Austin Chapter as Vice Co-Chair of Membership. Bridging music and activism for adoptee rights, social change, and collective healing, Ferera has channeled her trauma into a creative and personal rebirth. “Some of our greatest gifts can be found in our deepest pain. Explore what hurts, and find yourself."' https://www.fereraswan.com

"Long before I became a therapist, I was adopted. My parents had two biological sons and were unable to have a third child and wanted a girl, so they adopted me. Even before then, though, I was relinquished. I make the distinction between relinquishment and adoption, because those are two separate events, and I believe the root of many “adoption issues" lies with relinquishment and the experience of having been separated from one's original parents, especially one's first mom/birthmom. I was relinquished at birth, placed in foster care and then placed with my adoptive family when I was 10 weeks old. Even those of us who were relinquished at birth, before we developed conscious memory, lived through the experience, and our bodies remember, which often lead us to respond as though it is happening again—a post-traumatic response. My personal experiences led me to become a therapist who specializes in helping other adoptees, and the people close to them. I work with adult adoptees, adopted children/teens, adoptive parents, first/birth parents, prospective adoptive parents and the partners of adoptees, as well as others who have had similar experiences for other reasons." Find Kathy here: https://www.adopteetherapy.com/about-me Relinquished: https://www.relinquishedbook.com

Adoption Unfiltered is presented by adoptee Sara Easterly, birth parent Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and adoptive parent Lori Holden. Collectively, we bring 75 years of lived experience relating to adoption, and we span the Millennial, Gen X, and Baby Boomer generations. We understand the history, challenges, and trends experienced by people living in adoption and the broader adoption constellation, and we are recognized throughout the adoption community as thought leaders, influencers, and bridge-builders. Sara Easterly is an award-winning author of books and essays. Her memoir, Searching for Mom, won a gold medal in the Illumination Book Awards, among several other honors. Her adoption-focused articles, essays, and book reviews have been published by Psychology Today, Dear Adoption, Severance Magazine, Feminine Collective, Godspace, Her View from Home, and Englewood Review of Books, to name a few. Sara is founder of Adoptee Voices and previously led one of the largest chapters of the Society of Children's Book Writers & Illustrators, where she was recognized as SCBWI Member of the Year. She is on staff with the Neufeld Institute, where she supports the Adoption & Foster Care cohort of the Reaching Troubled Kids course, spearheads the Kid-Lit Book Club, and oversees the Neufeld Institute Children's Book List. Additionally, Sara brings 20+ years of experience as a publicist and event planner orchestrating book tours, launch campaigns, and large-scale events. Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard spent several years working in the adoption field, most notably working on public policy issues impacting all adoption-triad members. Kelsey has played a part in the success of state legislation and has tirelessly advocated for current federal legislation. She's a birth mother who is passionate about raising the standards in adoption to better serve the children, mothers, and families affected by family separation. Adoption has been a monumental part of her entire life: Kelsey is the daughter and granddaughter of adoptees. She can often be found fervently and frequently demanding, “How do we fix this?” She is also a co-host of the first-ever birth-mom podcast, Twisted Sisterhood. Lori Holden, a veteran parent of two newly-minted young adults, writes at LavenderLuz.com and hosts the podcastAdoption: The Long View. She's the author of the acclaimed book The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole (recommended by People magazine in 2021), written with her daughter's birth mom. Her book is featured on adoption-agency required-reading lists across the country. She has keynoted and presented at adoption conferences around the US, and her work has appeared in magazines such as Parenting and Adoptive Families. In 2018, she was honored as an Angel in Adoption® by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute (CCAI), nominated by Senator Michael Bennet of Colorado.

Lena (Eileen) Skahill is an adjunct professor of Sociology at the University of Colorado Colorado Springs. She has been teaching courses in Adoption and Family Studies and Environmental Sociology which are available to students in the School of Social Work, Women's and Ethnic Studies and The Humanities departments.  Lena is also adoptee (1966) and engaged in reunion with both of her first families. She has volunteered in varying capacities with adoption non-profits over the last decade and dedicated her academic career toward the pursuit of teaching and sharing the unique lived experiences of all members of the adoption constellation. Lena has conducted research in adoption studies over the course of her career. Her early research, On the Outside Looking In: Adoptee Perspectives on Reunion Relationships explored the evolution of long term reunions between adoptees and their first families with outcomes of the study shared at academic conferences across the country.  Her current qualitative/photo essay-based research study titled, Nurtured by Nature: Adoption and Foster Care Experiences and the Healing Power of Nature is meant to shine a light on the adoption and foster care journeys and the ways in which nature serves as a modality for healing, growth, and joy for all impacted by these lived experiences.  Research for the study has been completed and Lena anticipates data to be published in 2024.

Follow us on Instagram @unearthingadoption E-mail us: unearthingadoption@gmail.com

"Paul Kimball, a biracial adoptee, explores his own abandonment issues as he searches, and eventually reunites with his birth parents. After a seemingly joyous reunion, his birth mother, a Caucasian professional cellist, rejects him. This causes him to seek out his Armenian birth father, who along with his extended family, accepts him as one of their own.  Paul's birthparents met at the Hollywood Methodist Church in 1961. Vahe had immigrated from Iraq to California, while Wendy gave cello concerts throughout the United States. After Wendy became pregnant, they decided to have an abortion in Mexico, and upon arrival, changed their minds. As directed by her parents, Wendy had her baby in secret in Fort Bragg. Vahe was told that the baby had been aborted.  After one week with Wendy, Paul was given up for adoption. He was placed in foster care through Children's Home Society for four and a half months. Being biracial, Paul was considered a "Hard to Place" baby. The Kimballs, a wonderfully liberal Berkeley family, decided to adopt Paul. On Paul's first birthday, November 22nd, 1962, he was officially adopted three hours before the assassination of President Kennedy.  Paul became a professional French Horn player, conductor and music teacher. He had always been deeply moved by the cello, especially the recordings of Jacqueline Du Pre. Music was his life, and cello his therapy.  After marrying and becoming a father of two daughters, Paul searched for his birthmother. Upon learning that she was a cellist, he was even more determined to meet her. After several months and false leads, he found her name in the Musician's Union directory. This led to a three-hour phone call with birth mother, Wendy.  Paul and Wendy met in L.A. and had a beautiful three-month reunion. That summer, she went to New York to play in an orchestra. While there, she made the decision to keep Paul a secret. She was afraid of being thought of as a "slut." She stopped all communication. When the horrors of 911 happened, Paul left one last message on her phone. This led Wendy to contact his mother in law, and let her know that Paul must never contact her again. In shock, Paul decided to search for his birth father. With some clues provided by Wendy, including his last name, Paul tracked down Vahe through his brother Vasken. On Christmas day, Vasken announced to his extended family that Vahe had an unknown son, much to their astonishment. That evening, Paul called Vasken who handed the phone to Vahe. The first words that Vahe said to him were "Son, I love you!" For twelve years, Vahe, Paul and the extended Armenian community got to know and love each other.  Paul kept tabs on Wendy through her summer orchestra's website. One summer he noticed that she wasn't listed. He learned through a facebook message that Wendy had died a few years earlier.  Paul found her gravesite, but no marker, just grass. He decided to design one for her. When the marker was completed, he visited it alone, in tears, while listening to cello music. Paul's adopted parents, and Vahe passed away. His adopted father committed suicide three days after his mother passed while looking at her pictures.  Now that his parents were gone, Paul continued to contemplate his abandonment issues. The realization that we are all human beings, adopted or not, and that we are all a part of nature, has brought much comfort and healing." Buy Paul's book: https://www.amazon.com/We-Are-All-Human-Beings/dp/1977236197 Follow us on Instagram @unearthingadoption Send us an e-mail: unearthingadoption@gmail.com

Happy 2024! On this episode of Unearthing Adoption, Lauren and Glenna discuss New Year's Resolutions and trends amongst adoptees. We are so thrilled to have you all join us in 2024. Lots of exciting things happening this year so stay tuned! Interested in being on the show? Know someone who is? E-mail us! UnearthingAdoption@gmail.com Find us on Instagram @unearthingadoption

Thank you all for such an amazing year. We can't wait for the next one! Letitia Smith from White Light Exposure: https://www.whitelightexposure.com/ Our NEW e-mail: unearthingadoption@gmail.com Instagram @unearthingadoption

Follow us on Instagram! @unearthingadoption Adoption Unfiltered: https://adoptionunfiltered.com/

Welcome to UNEARTHING ADOPTION: Normalizing Positive Perspectives. Since launching our podcast in March of 2021, we have recognized a shift in our mindset and philosophy as adoptees and adoptee educators. This episode explains our reasoning and thoughts behind our rebrand.

Instagram @tough.love.podcast Email tough.love.stories@gmail.com

Contact us: tough.love.stories@gmail.com Follow us on IG @tough.love.podcast

"Hi there, my name is Lauren Fishbein and I am the founder of LiLuna Coaching. I am a graduate of Naropa University and earned my master's degree in Mindfulness Based Transpersonal Counseling. I believe in the deep transformation that comes from peeling back all the layers and finding the origin of your imprinted traumas. These traumas affect you in each moment of life, whether you are conscious of it or not! For the first 24 years of my life I lived on auto-pilot, completely disconnected from my mind, body and spirit. I had no conscious awareness that I was suffering from anxiety, depression,  and was living in the frequency of addiction. I had no clue! The change didn't occur until I took a good hard look at my life, explored my traumas and upgraded my mindset.  Only then, was the fog lifted and I was able to make a 180 lifestyle-change. I am now living a life that is healthy and nourishing. I am able to navigate hard emotions, stay authentic, and conscious of my life choices. It is through this experience that I have discovered a path that I believe in and want to share with you. I work with individuals and families. I offer a unique personalized program that is tailored to your needs. I have found working with the entire family system is the best way to create sustained change when seeking support for children and adolescents. I use mindfulness as the foundation of my program and I pull from different modalities and philosophies such a Synergetic Play Therapy, Accelerated Evolution, neuroscience, generational trauma, attachment styles and more. I am also trained as an intimacy coach and can support couples with rifts in their relationship. If you are looking for a full reset, are ready and willing to work hard, have some fun and transform your life then you have found the right place!  To speak with me and learn about this one of a kind program, click here. I look forward to working with you!" https://lilunacoaching.com Contact us: tough.love.stories@gmail.com Find us on Instagram! @tough.love.podcast

Join us for a conversation on identity with the inspiring Alisha Kwon Hammett. Alisha reminds us how crucial it is to remain diligent in our self-love and self-worth journey, and highlights the importance of compassion in relation to adoption.

Laura X. Williams is a Licensed Addiction Counselor and Relational Psychotherapist in the Denver area.

Beth Syverson is an adoptive mom, wife, musician, and as of 2021 a podcaster, activist, and public speaker. Since 2019, her son Joey has struggled with addiction to substances plus serious mental health issues. For the first year of that roller coaster ride, she and Joey were both derailed. Beth tried to “fix” Joey, and her Supermom cape was tied on tight. But when nothing worked to “fix” him, she sought help for herself, which improved her own life and also her relationship to her wife Jan and to Joey. She and Joey created Safe Home Podcast in August 2021, with the purpose of helping other families avoid some of the pain we've experienced. “Pain that's not transformed gets transmitted.” We are trying to transform our pain into practical guidance for other families with struggling teens. Beth adopted Joey from Japan when he was 7-1/2 months old. We now realize that his relinquishment trauma is the core issue that caused him to seek substances. Beth is a leader for other adoptive parents who are coming “out of the fog” and realizing that the adoption that created their family also created trauma for their child.” Contact Beth directly by emailing Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com

https://www.rootedrhythm.com "In my therapy practice, I specialize in helping children, young women, and parents shift limiting patterns so that they can step into the truth of who they are. My approach combines the art of attuned listening with the science of understanding nervous system patterns to help you develop a deeper relationship with yourself and others so you can show up in your life with more confidence and ease! I have 10 years of experience in working with children and families. My previous experience includes in-home, school based, and outpatient individual and family therapy for multiple community based agencies, as well as serving as the lead play therapist at the Denver Center for Play Therapy. During college, I spent time as a pre-school teacher and mental health support at a psychiatric day program for adults, as well as serving as a research assistant at Harvard Medical School's Laboratory for Youth Mental Health. I have formal clinical training in Synergetic Play Therapy and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing). My greatest learning, however, lies in my personal story of healing and growth into the person I am today. With an undergraduate degree in child development and psychology from Tufts University and a graduate degree in social work from the University of Denver, my approach is strongly rooted in trauma informed and body oriented methods and aims to work closely in relationship with you. I am gentle, loving, and playful while also clear and direct in order to create an emotionally safe place for you to grow outside of your current comfort zone. In my personal life, I maintain deeply spiritual & meditative practices. These approaches are often blended into therapeutic work for those that are wanting them. Rooted Rhythm™ Psychotherapy and Parent Coaching was born out of the belief that children must get to know the beat of their own drum in order to confidently reach their potential…and that the best kind of parent is one that is Rooted in their own Rhythm."

"Pam and her husband Dan are the adoptive parents of two children, a daughter who was born in Korea in 1986 and a son who was born in India in 1989. Her children catapulted Pam into life and career interests she never imagined. Pam's position as Executive Director has evolved over the past 20 years as she was a volunteer Executive Director for the first 7 years, then the only part-​time paid staff person, then a full-​time paid position, and finally to overseeing with the Board of Directors the addition of two more part-​time paid staff. Pam and Heritage Camps for Adoptive Families have been the recipient of the Minoru Yasui Volunteer Service Award, Asian Education Advisory Council Community Service Award, Channel 7 Everyday Hero, Asian Pacific Bar Association Minoru Yasui Community Award, the Korean American Coalition of the U.S., Bridge Builder Award, and the National Angel in Adoption Award. Pam has been appointed to the Denver Asian Pacific American Commission, and was on the capital campaign committee of the Asian Pacific Development Center. This “labor of love” at Heritage Camps for Adoptive Families has truly become a life's work for Pam, one that never would have happened without her own wonderful children."

Yoselin is an adult adoptee from Honduras, and first attended Latin American Heritage Camp as a camper back in the 90s. Over the course of 17 years, she has served as a Counselor, Coordinator, Presenter, and Director at LAHC, and has also assisted with coordinating Adult Adoptee Meet-Up Events. Yoselin comes to HCAF after studying Psychology in her undergrad, and working predominantly in workforce development, services for those experiencing homeless, and residential and community mental health for the last nine years. Despite the change in industry, Yoselin is passionate about advocacy, and educating communities on expanding cultural empathy and awareness, increasing efforts towards equity and inclusion, and identifying outlets for others' growth and empowerment. In her free time, Yoselin can be found hiking, checking out a concert, gallery, or museum, spending time with friends, volunteering in the community, or finding outlets for her human rights activism. Tough Love Instagram @tough.love.podcast Email @tough.love.stories@gmail.com

"Gina Heumann is a true Renaissance woman: wife, mother, architect, designer, instructor, author, speaker, and adoption advocate. She and her husband, Aaron, adopted Landrey in 2001 from Guatemala and then went back for Maddox three years later. Gina's love of learning and dedication as a mother inspired her research of different treatments and therapies that eventually led to this inspirational success story about conquering Reactive Attachment Disorder. ​Gina is an accomplished speaker who covers the subjects of adoption, reactive attachment disorder, children's mental health, PTSD, infertility, and parenting. She is available for keynote speaking, workshops, or to attend your book club, either by Skype or in person." Join us for a conversation with Gina Huemann, Author of "Love Never Quits." Visit Gina's website: https://www.ginaheumann.com Gina's TedTalk: https://www.ted.com/talks/gina_heumann_childhood_trauma_affects_us_all

Join us for an in-depth conversation between two couples as they discuss adoption and relationships. Contact us: tough.love.stories@gmail.com Find us on Instagram @tough.love.podcast

Trigger Warning: Suicide, Self-Harm, Abuse, Drug Use This is a very difficult but important episode with Cosima Octavia who shares their adoption experience with us. Please don't hesitate to reach out to us or someone you know for support.

Dr. Kristin Neff: https://self-compassion.org Interested in being on the show? Know someone who might be interested? Email us: tough.love.stories@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram! @tough.love.podcast

Elizabeth A. Suter (Ph.D., University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign) is a Professor in the Department of Communication Studies and Affiliated Faculty in the Gender and Women's Studies Program at the University of Denver. She identifies as a feminist, social-justice-oriented interpersonal and family communication scholar. She views the family as a politicized institution animated by the broader discursive, material, and political environment. Primary contexts of study include transracial, international adoption and lesbian co-motherhood. Recently she developed the Critical Interpersonal and Family Communication (CIFC) heuristic, calling for the centering of power, praxis, and reflexivity in contemporary studies of relationships and families. This work appears in the the Journal of Family Communication, Communication Monographs, and Communication Theory. She lives with her partner and two daughters in Denver, Colorado. Email us: tough.love.stories@gmail.com Find us on Instagram @tough.love.podcast

Jordan Martin-Collins joins us today to share her adoption story, and also her wealth of knowledge surrounding attachment theory. Jordan is the current Marketing and Media Lead @adoptee.council. For more information about the Adoptee Leadership Council, visit their Instagram @adoptee.council Thank you so much for coming on, Jordan! Find us on Instagram @tough.love.podcast Contact us: tough.love.stories@gmail.com

"Midnight in the Orange Grove": https://www.imdb.com/title/tt12842806/ Interested in being on the show? Know someone who might be? Send us an email: tough.love.stories@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram! @tough.love.stories

Trigger Warning: Death Contact Ashley for a FREE 30min consultation when you mention the TL Podcast: holdingthehope09@gmail.com Interested in being on the show? Know someone who might be? Email us: tough.love.stories@gmail.com Find us on Instagram! @tough.love.podcast

Interested in being on the show? Know someone who might be? Send us an email: tough.love.stories@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram! @tough.love.podcast

Join us for a vulnerable conversation with Julie Wolfrum. Julie spoke to us about relationships, dance, the importance of community, and the power of developing self-love. Email us: tough.love.stories@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram! @ tough.love.podcast

Atomic Habits: https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits Grit, The Power of Passion and Perseverance: https://angeladuckworth.com/grit-book/ Follow us on Instagram @tough.love.podcast Email us: tough.love.stories@gmail.com

https://www.unicocollection.shop "Being adopted from South Korea to a Hispanic dad, white mom, and brother who was biologically theirs, I always felt like an outsider. Growing up, I felt like I didn't 'fit in' anywhere and I had a hard time finding and understanding my place in the world. But once I realized that being unique is powerful, I embraced my story and grew to love being different. Eventually I was able to see that regardless of what skin color a person has, everyone has a unique story, and that is actually what makes us all have something in common. ​Uni Co. represents the essence of individuality and the specific value and worth that each person has in this universe. My hope is that anyone who has ever felt ashamed of being different, finds that there is so much greatness in being one of a kind." Find Uni Co. on Instagram @uni_co_official

Narmada Morris joins the Tough Love Team for a discussion on adoptee name journeys and the importance of choice. Interested in being on the show? Send us an email: tough.love.stories@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram! @tough.love.podcast

Welcome back to the Tough Love Podcast. In today's episode, we discuss different types of coping strategies (both healthy and unhealthy), and brainstorm ways to develop healthy coping strategies. Book Recommendation: The Body Keeps Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, by Bessel von der Kolk Interested in being on the show? Know someone who might be? Have an episode topic idea? Send us an email: tough.love.stories@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram! @tough.love.podcast

Holidays can be a mix of emotions, stress, and anxiety. Many different factors come into play with adoptees and the holiday season, join us today while we discuss the difficulty that comes with being adopted and the holiday season. For our listeners, please feel free to reach out if you need someone to talk to during these times. Our team here at the Tough Love Podcast wants to recognize the current state of the world right now, and is extending a listening ear to anyone who might need it. Interested in being on the show? Know an adoptee who might be? Please send us an email, tough.love.stories@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram! @tough.love.podcast

Difficult conversations can arise anywhere, even at work. Join us while we discuss how different workplace environments can affect us either positively or negatively as adoptees. We are looking for topics and potential interviewees! Please, please, please, if you have any ideas or know of anyone who would like to be on the show, send us an email at tough.love.stories@gmail.com or reach out on our Instagram @tough.love.podcast. Thank you!

Trigger Warning: Death Why are goodbyes so hard for adopted people? Join us this week as we discuss how abandonment, and our wounds surrounding abandonment, come up in our lives. Interested in being on the show? Send us an email: tough.love.stories@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram! @tough.love.podcast

Welcome back! We all had very busy and challenging summers, and we wanted to update you all during this episode. We apologize for the hiatus, but we're back to interviews, conversations, and connections. Thank you all so much! Interested in being on the show? Know someone who might be? Email us: tough.love.stories@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram! @tough.love.podcast

"My name is Laura May. I was adopted when I was an infant and have had an incredible life with my family. I met Lauren in high school and we became fast friends. Her family also took me in as one of their own, as I was a boarding student at our school and Lauren was a day student. You could say I was adopted twice, once by my family and once by Lauren's. I am a proud adoptee. I am excited to share my story of having my own biological daughters and them being the first biological family members I have ever met. So grateful to my friend Lauren for asking me to be a part of the Tough Love Podcast." --- Interested in being on the show? Know someone who might be interested? Send us an email: tough.love.stories@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram! @tough.love.podcast

Trigger Warning: Disordered Eating Welcome back, Tough Love Family! For this episode, Lauren and Deontae spoke to Narmada Morris, an international/transracial adoptee, about disordered eating and how it plays a part in many adoptees' stories. More about Narmada... "My name is Narmada Morris. I was adopted when I was 2 from India and grew up in Colorado with my mom. I Began attending Heritage Camps for Adoptive Families when I was 5 and it was amazing growing up around adoptees, I began volunteering for HCAF as an adult and am proud to be a board member. I love my adoption community and I have learned so much from connecting to different families. It has really become an integral part of my life." Interested in being on the show? Know someone who might be? Send us an email: tough.love.stories@gmail.com Find us on Instagram! @tough.love.podcast

Trigger Warning: Suicide Adoptees are 4X more likely to attempt suicide than non-adoptees. An ACE (Adverse Childhood Experience) score of 4 or more puts you more at risk of attempting suicide by 1220%. The number of attempted suicides in 2019 was 1.8 million. -- Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 Talkspace: https://www.talkspace.com QPR Institute Training: https://qprinstitute.com/individual-training Adverse Childhood Experiences: https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces/index.html Dr. Nadine Hood, TedTalk on Adverse Childhood Experiences: https://www.ted.com/talks/nadine_burke_harris_how_childhood_trauma_affects_health_across_a_lifetime?language=en Amanda Baden, when to tell children they are adopted: https://www.montclair.edu/newscenter/2019/07/22/the-best-time-to-disclose-adoption-status-to-children/ Raise the Future: https://www.raisethefuture.org -- Find Moses: IG: @mytruthislouder @adoptiontrauma @mosesafarrow FB: Facebook.com/groups/survivingadoptiongrpup @moses.farrow.50 mosesfarrow.com Moses@mosesfarrow.com Twitter: @mosesfarrow And on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkOnoAwftO1KOK2LI7dLNaA

Welcome back, Tough Love Community! I interviewed my identical twin sister, Natalie, who I was adopted with from Russia in 1999. We spoke about our differences and similarities regarding life, processing, healing, and of course adoption. Being identical twin sister and coming from closed adoptions has impacted us both in many different ways, and we hope that this episode sheds some light on the importance of individual personal development. Interested in being on the show? Know someone who might be? Send us an email: tough.love.stories@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram! @tough.love.podcast

Welcome back, Tough Love Community! In this episode, we welcome our first guest to the podcast. Katie Barry (she/her) is a domestic adoptee born, raised, and living in Denver, Colorado. She's an Estate Planning and Probate paralegal. She's passionate about adventure, self-exploration, writing, children, all things adoption-related, and her 15 year old cat, Carl. Katie shared her experiences and thoughts surrounding abandonment, and we talked about the importance of finding community. Interested on being in the show? Know someone who might be? Send us an email: tough.love.stories@gmail.com Find us on Instagram! @tough.love.podcast

Welcome back, Tough Love Community! In this episode, Lauren and Deontae share their experiences regarding their relationships with their biological families. Interested in being on the show? Know someone who might be? Send us an email: tough.love.stories@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram! @tough.love.podcast

Welcome back to Tough Love! Our very own Lauren Fishbein talked to us about implicit memory and the range of impacts it has on adoptees. Raise the Future: https://www.raisethefuture.org/ Interested in being on the show? Know someone who might be interested? Send us an email: tough.love.stories@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram! @tough.love.podcast

Welcome back, Tough Love Community! In today's episode, we cover our feelings and experiences with all things school-related, from grades, friends, teachers, and tests. Find us on Instagram! @tough.love.podcast Interested in being on the podcast? Know someone who might be? Send us an email - tough.love.stories@gmail.com