Podcast appearances and mentions of Kristin Neff

In this Think Thursday episode, Molly Watts challenges the deeply ingrained belief that we must “start over” any time we slip up in our habit change journey—especially when it comes to drinking. Drawing from neuroscience, behavior psychology, and the Alcohol Minimalist framework, Molly explains why this mindset is not only emotionally unhelpful but also neurologically inaccurate.Listeners will learn how to reframe off-plan moments not as failures, but as meaningful data points that contribute to long-term growth and brain change. Whether it's drinking, eating, spending, or any behavior you're trying to shift, this episode offers an empowering new narrative: you are not behind, you are evolving.What You'll Learn in This Episode:Why the idea of “starting over” is a product of traditional recovery models like Alcoholics AnonymousHow the AA concept of relapse and abstinence has shaped our cultural view of success and failureWhy your brain doesn't erase progress, but rather integrates and learns from each experienceHow to shift away from shame and into self-compassion without compromising growthThe role of automaticity in habit formation, according to Dr. Wendy WoodHow the brain builds resilience through “returning,” not perfectionA 3-step process to reframe setbacks and keep moving forwardKey Concepts & Tools:The Iterative Mindset – Growth is not linear; it's a spiral of adjustment and awarenessPause the Narrative – Catch the story you're telling yourself about failureName the Learning – Reflect on the experience with curiosity, not blameMake a Micro-Move – Realign in the moment with one small actionNeuroplasticity – Your brain is always adapting; no step is wastedSelf-Compassion Science – Dr. Kristin Neff's research shows kind self-talk leads to more consistent behavior changeReferenced Episode:Think Thursday: The Iterative Mindset Takeaway Quote:“Let's drop the idea of Day One. You are not behind. You are learning. You are aligning. You are leading your brain—one choice at a time.” ★ Support this podcast ★

In a time when parents face rising pressure to get everything right, this episode offers something rare and essential: a deeply honest, poetic, and practical conversation about the transformative power of self-compassion.Join Marin Montessori School's Head of School, Sam Shapiro, and guest Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer, celebrated poet and parent educator, as they explore what it means to parent with grace instead of perfection. Drawing on both research and lived experience, Rosemerry offers a path toward parenting that's emotionally sustainable—and deeply human.Together, they discuss:What self-compassion really is (and why it's not indulgent)How it benefits our health, motivation, and relationshipsThe link between grace for ourselves and connection with our childrenThe latest science from Dr. Kristin Neff and the field of self-compassion researchWhy embracing our own imperfections is a powerful parenting actWhether you're navigating daily struggles or simply looking to show up with more presence and care, this conversation is a powerful reminder: we teach our children not by being perfect—but by being real.

You know that relentless, negative inner voice—the DJ spinning tracks on “Beat Yourself Up FM?” Yeah, I've got one, too. But what if I told you there's a way to finally change that channel and replace it with compassion? In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Kristin Neff, a true pioneer in self-compassion research, who's not only studied the science for years but has also used it to navigate her own life's biggest challenges—including motherhood and her son's autism diagnosis. Together, we break down why self-compassion is an absolute superpower, how it's different from self-esteem, and the real-world (not fluffy!) ways you can start putting compassion into practice—especially when you're going through hard times. Whether you fear that self-kindness is “selfish,” worry it'll make you lazy, or struggle to silence your inner critic, this episode is packed with science-backed strategies and powerful re-frames you need to hear. SHOWNOTES Why our inner negative voice is so persistent—and how self-compassion can help us turn the volume down 02:53 – The difference between self-esteem and self-compassion (and why compassion is more reliable) 09:43 – Common myths about self-compassion: self-pity, selfishness, complacency, and more 10:43 – Moving from “woe is me” self-pity to true self-compassion through common humanity 13:40 – Why comparing your suffering (up or down) can actually backfire and how to find balance 17:56 – Why self-compassion isn't selfish and how it actually helps you support others better 24:19 – The science behind self-soothing touch (and how to actually use it when it feels weird) 29:24 – Using second-person and terms of endearment when speaking to yourself: practical tips 39:59 – How fierce self-compassion (aka “Mama Bear” energy) leads to healthy boundaries and motivation 41:06 – Healing after abuse: what to do when self-compassion feels scary or triggers “backdraft” FOLLOW KRISTIN NEFF:Website: https://self-compassion.orgGuided meditations, practices, and research: https://self-compassion.org/category/exercisesTwitter: https://twitter.com/neffselfcompassFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/selfcompassionInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/Neffselfcompassion (For more resources, trainings, and to test your self-compassion, visit her website above.) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode I discuss the importance of self-compassion and break down three core components based on the research of Dr. Kristen Neff–self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. I'll also share practical tools to help you build a more accepting and supportive relationship with yourself.    If you've ever struggled with harsh self-talk or felt alone in your challenges, this episode offers gentle guidance to help you meet yourself with more kindness and care. In this episode you will learn: What self-compassion truly means and why it matters The difference between compassion and kindness The three core components of self-compassion Practical self-compassion tools you can start using today Anchor phrases that help you speak to yourself with a loving tone How cultivating self-compassion can lead to deeper personal growth and a more compassionate world - What anchor phrase landed with you the most? I'd love to know. Feel free to get in touch via email at hello@worthwild.co.nz or slide into my DM's on Instagram. If you are regularly tuning into the podcast and getting value from it, you can rate the show on Spotify or leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way more people can find us and our community can grow. Your support here does not go unnoticed!  Want to join the next round of Lighthouse? Find out more here. Let's Connect: Instagram - @worthwild.co Facebook - Worthwild Subscribe to the newsletter - https://www.worthwild.co.nz/what's-the-tea

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3620: Ingrid Helander shares five unexpected yet powerful lessons in self-confidence, creativity, and purpose drawn from observing her toddler grandson. Through playful moments and unfiltered honesty, she reveals how reclaiming childlike wonder and emotional authenticity can transform our approach to work and life. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://ingridyhelanderlmft.com/5-lessons-about-self-confidence-play-and-the-meaning-of-work-that-i-learned-from-a-toddler/ Quotes to ponder: "True confidence comes from the inside, not from what you do or how well you do it." "He takes his own ideas seriously and has no need to compare them to anyone else's." "When he's done with something, he's done. And he knows it." Episode references: Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul: https://www.amazon.com/Play-Shapes-Brain-Imagination-Invigorates/dp/1583333789 The Whole-Brain Child: https://www.amazon.com/Whole-Brain-Child-Revolutionary-Strategies-Developing/dp/0553386697 Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff: https://self-compassion.org/ Greater Good Science Center: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you stuck in the cycle of starting and stopping recovery? Always "trying" but never fully committing? In this game-changing episode, Lindsey reveals how one simple phrase is sabotaging your progress and keeping you trapped in what she calls "decision defaulting." Learn the neuroscience behind why "I'm trying" programs your brain for failure, and discover the powerful mindset shift that transforms chronic restarters into recovery success stories. If you're tired of living in the "maybe someday" space and ready to make decisions that stick, this episode will revolutionize your approach to healing. What You'll Learn in This Episode The psychology behind "decision defaulting" and why your brain prefers it How the phrase "I'm trying" creates neural pathways for partial commitment The difference between illusion of control vs. real personal power Specific language shifts that activate "implementation intention" Why your eating disorder wants you to stay in "trying" mode A concrete challenge to break the decision defaulting cycle this week How to know when you're ready for professional support vs. continued self-help Key Moments & Timestamps Opening CTA for Consultation (0:30-2:00) Lindsey speaks directly to chronic restarters and those hesitant to start recovery What is Decision Defaulting? (2:00-5:00) "'Trying' is just a socially acceptable way of avoiding responsibility for your choices." Client Story: Emma's 3-Year Trying Cycle (3:30-4:30) How one client's language shift changed everything in recovery The Neuroscience of Decision Defaulting (5:00-8:30) Why undernourished brains default to tentative language and how trauma responses play a role From Trying to Deciding: The Power Shift (8:30-12:00) Specific examples of language that creates commitment vs. escape routes Your Decision-Making Challenge (12:00-14:00) Two concrete options to practice decisive action this week Powerful Quotes from This Episode On Decision Defaulting: "Decision defaulting is when you avoid making definitive choices because not deciding feels safer than deciding 'wrong.'" On the Trying Trap: "When you say 'I'm trying,' you're leaving yourself an escape route. You're keeping one foot out the door. You're protecting yourself from the vulnerability of full commitment." On Neural Pathways: "Every time you make a definitive choice and follow through, you strengthen the neural pathways associated with self-efficacy and personal agency. Every time you default on a decision, you reinforce the pathways associated with helplessness." On Eating Disorder Strategy: "Your eating disorder wants you to keep 'trying.' It wants you to stay in that wishy-washy space where you're sort of committed but not really. Because as long as you're just trying, you're not a real threat to its control over your life." On Real Power: "The power isn't in making perfect decisions. The power is in making decisions and sticking with them long enough to see what happens." Language Shifts That Change Everything Instead of: "I'm trying to eat regular meals" Decide: "I'm deciding to eat breakfast at 8am, lunch at 1pm, and dinner at 6pm, regardless of how I feel about it" Instead of: "I'm trying to be less active" Decide: "I'm deciding to take three complete rest days this week and limit exercise to 30 minutes on active days" Instead of: "I'm trying to stop weighing myself" Decide: "I'm deciding to remove the scale from my house and ask my roommate to hide it" Instead of: "I'm thinking about getting help" Decide: "I'm deciding to schedule consultation calls with three recovery coaches this week" This Week's Decision Challenge Option 1: The Immediate Action Decision Choose ONE thing you've been "trying" to do in recovery and make a definitive decision about it today. Write it down: "I am deciding to _______." Take one concrete action within 24 hours. Option 2: The Support Decision If you've been "thinking about" getting help, either decide you're going to take action and schedule consultations or decide you're not ready and stop the maybe-someday torture. Scientific Research Referenced Dr. Carol Dweck's studies on language and behavior creating neural pathways Dr. Peter Gollwitzer's research on implementation intentions (2-3x more likely to follow through) Dr. Kristin Neff's research on self-compassion and decision-making fear Ready to Stop Decision Defaulting? Free Consultation with Lindsey If you're ready to stop the cycle of starting and stopping recovery, or finally take that first real step into healing, Lindsey is offering complimentary consultation calls. During your call, you'll get clarity on: Where you are vs. where you want to be in recovery What kind of support would best serve your specific situation Whether working together makes sense for your journey Your next right step forward (with no pressure or obligation) Schedule your call: www.herbestself.co Lindsey personally responds to every application within 48 hours Connect With Lindsey Instagram: @thelindseynichol Website: www.herbestself.co  Email: info@lindseynichol.com If This Episode Hit Home Please rate, review, and subscribe to the Her Best Self podcast. Your support helps more women discover that they have the power to stop "trying" and start deciding their way to freedom. Share this episode with someone who's been stuck in the "trying" cycle - they need to hear that their power lives in their decisions, not their intentions. Remember: You are not broken. You are not weak. You are just ready to stop defaulting and start deciding. Your future self is waiting for you to choose her over your eating disorder, your dreams over your fears, your healing over your habits.      

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3620: Ingrid Helander shares five unexpected yet powerful lessons in self-confidence, creativity, and purpose drawn from observing her toddler grandson. Through playful moments and unfiltered honesty, she reveals how reclaiming childlike wonder and emotional authenticity can transform our approach to work and life. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://ingridyhelanderlmft.com/5-lessons-about-self-confidence-play-and-the-meaning-of-work-that-i-learned-from-a-toddler/ Quotes to ponder: "True confidence comes from the inside, not from what you do or how well you do it." "He takes his own ideas seriously and has no need to compare them to anyone else's." "When he's done with something, he's done. And he knows it." Episode references: Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul: https://www.amazon.com/Play-Shapes-Brain-Imagination-Invigorates/dp/1583333789 The Whole-Brain Child: https://www.amazon.com/Whole-Brain-Child-Revolutionary-Strategies-Developing/dp/0553386697 Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff: https://self-compassion.org/ Greater Good Science Center: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3620: Ingrid Helander shares five unexpected yet powerful lessons in self-confidence, creativity, and purpose drawn from observing her toddler grandson. Through playful moments and unfiltered honesty, she reveals how reclaiming childlike wonder and emotional authenticity can transform our approach to work and life. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://ingridyhelanderlmft.com/5-lessons-about-self-confidence-play-and-the-meaning-of-work-that-i-learned-from-a-toddler/ Quotes to ponder: "True confidence comes from the inside, not from what you do or how well you do it." "He takes his own ideas seriously and has no need to compare them to anyone else's." "When he's done with something, he's done. And he knows it." Episode references: Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul: https://www.amazon.com/Play-Shapes-Brain-Imagination-Invigorates/dp/1583333789 The Whole-Brain Child: https://www.amazon.com/Whole-Brain-Child-Revolutionary-Strategies-Developing/dp/0553386697 Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff: https://self-compassion.org/ Greater Good Science Center: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode of "Coping" covers a discussion between Kathy and Kevin about self-compassion, addressing common myths and misconceptions. They reference Kristin Neff's research and quotes throughout the discussion. Kathy and Kevin debunk four main myths: that self-compassion is just feeling sorry for oneself, that it makes one weak and unmotivated, that it is selfish, and that it is the same as self-esteem. They emphasize that self-compassion involves recognizing shared human experiences, building resilience, fostering connection, and accepting imperfections. Kathy shares her initial skepticism about self-compassion, noting how she initially viewed it as unproductive. Kevin admits to thinking self-compassion was self-pity. Both now advocate for self-compassion as a means to nurture oneself, build strength, and enhance relationships with others. Kathy closes the discussion with a poem by John Donahue, encouraging gentle self-care. Highlights Introduction to Self-Compassion and Addressing Misunderstandings - Kathy introduces a new series on self-compassion, highlighting its values in upcoming episodes. - Kevin acknowledges common misunderstandings about self-compassion, admitting he once doubted its usefulness, viewing it as self-pity or a sign of weakness that would reduce productivity. - Kathy mentions that eight years ago, she didn't fully grasp the depth and practices of self-compassion, and how it can lead to increased connection, strength, and resilience. - Kathy and Kevin plan to debunk four major myths about self-compassion and reveal its power. Myth 1: Self-Compassion is Just Feeling Sorry for Myself - Kevin admits he used to equate self-compassion with self-pity, feeling bad when things went wrong. - Kevin clarifies that self-pity is self-focused, involving questions like "Why me?" and dwelling on negative aspects, whereas self-compassion is different. - Kathy explains that self-compassion reminds us of our shared human experience, acknowledging that everyone struggles, which fosters connection rather than isolation. - Kevin notes that self-pity isolates, while self-compassion nurtures the hurting part of ourselves, encouraging us to seek support and connection. - Kevin suggests that during challenging times, acknowledging pain and asking what one needs can aid healing. - Kathy mentions Kristin Neff as a leading researcher in self-compassion, whose myths they are summarizing and paraphrasing. - Kathy shares Neff's quote: "Self-compassion frames the experience of imperfection in light of the shared human experience." - Kevin emphasizes that this perspective shifts us from isolation to connection, allowing imperfections to be viewed in a broader context. Myth 2: Self-Compassion Will Make Me Weak and Unmotivated - Kathy admits she used to believe that being harsh on herself was necessary for motivation and change, fearing that self-care would lead to a breakdown. - Kathy states that research shows the opposite: being harsh wears you down, while self-compassion builds resilience and strength to face daily struggles. - Kevin acknowledges that self-compassion is a challenging practice that becomes more habitual with effort, providing needed energy and support. - Kevin shares Neff's quote: "The supportive stance of self-compassion provides strength to face the battles of life," extending it to include internal battles. - Kevin discusses using self-compassion in therapy to address painful memories and insecurities, finding it a source of strength for internal struggles. - Kathy uses the analogy of putting on an oxygen mask first, emphasizing that self-compassion enables us to help others by acknowledging our own needs. - Kathy concludes that being kind to oneself is not weak but smart and strong. - Kevin, drawing from his experience as a first responder, reiterates the importance of self-care to effectively care for others. - Kevin emphasizes that one must practice self-care to genuinely encourage it in others. Myth 3: Self-Compassion Is Selfish - Kathy introduces the third myth: self-compassion is selfish, with people worrying that focusing on self-care will lead to neglecting others. - Kevin argues that compassion is not a limited resource; being good to ourselves provides more energy to support others. - Kevin shares that he is more effective at work when rested and having taken care of himself. - Kathy shares Kristin's quote: "The more compassion that flows inward, the more resources we have available to be there for others." - Kathy likens self-compassion to compounding interest, where investing in ourselves multiplies our capacity to share with others. - Kevin introduces the model that you can't give what you don't have, emphasizing the need to extend grace and support to oneself before offering it to others. - Kevin notes that research supports this in both personal relationships and when caring for strangers, indicating that self-compassion enhances one's ability to love and care for those in their personal life. Myth 4: Self-Compassion Is the Same as Self-Esteem - Kathy introduces the final myth, clarifying that self-esteem and self-compassion are often confused but are quite different. - Kathy explains that self-esteem depends on feeling special or superior and fluctuates with success and failure. - Kathy states that self-compassion involves accepting ourselves as imperfect humans, regardless of circumstances. - Kevin reflects on how his feelings of value fluctuate, suggesting he relies more on self-esteem than self-compassion. - Kevin shares Kristin Neff's quote: "With self-compassion, we don't need to be perfect or better than anyone else to feel good about ourselves." - Kathy emphasizes that self-compassion is more freeing and sustainable than constantly seeking approval. - Kevin admits to being guilty of seeking external approval. Conclusion: The Essence of Self-Compassion - Kevin summarizes that self-compassion is not self-pity, weakness, selfishness, or merely self-esteem, but something more profound. - Kathy concludes that practicing self-compassion builds resilience, connection, and worth. - Kathy encourages viewers to reflect on the myths that resonate with them and take small steps toward self-compassion. - Kathy closes with a poem by John Donahue titled "For One Who is Exhausted," advocating for gentle self-care and reflection.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:We're back with another episode of the ‘Cathy & Brenda Show', and this week we tackle a topic we see recurring in our community and the parents we work with…achievement-oriented parenting. As two recovering perfectionists ourselves, Cathy and I both share examples of what it looks like to be achievement-focused when your child (or children) struggle with substances and mental health. We talk about the tendency some of us have to want everything on the outside to look a certain way, even when that's doing damage to our kids, and how it can feel scary to apply self-compassion in fear of getting ‘weak' or ‘soft.'We discuss the internal battles many of us face about wishing our kids would just “get it together” and how the Invitation To Change approach can help us instead look at them with compassionate curiosity to understand their behavior instead of punishing it. We also tap into two of our favorite authors and researchers, Dr. Kristin Neff and Jessica Lahey.If you identify as a problem solver, list-checker, task doer, results-focused person…this is your episode. We even go on a tangent or two, but promise you'll be able to relate.EPISODE RESOURCES:Dr.Kristin Neff's websiteJessica Lahey's website and Hopestream podcast episode #163This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereFind us on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

Oh heyyy there, fellow parent-people struggling through the beautiful chaos! In this episode, I spill ALL the tea about how that nasty little voice in your head (you know the one that's all "you're failing at this parenting gig") isn't just making YOU feel like garbage—it's actually rewiring your kid's emotional thermometer too!

In dieser Folge erfährst du: Warum echte Liebe erst möglich ist, wenn du dich selbst lieben lernst – mit tiefen, emotionalen Impulsen und wissenschaftlichen Studien. Was Selbstwert und Selbstmitgefühl mit gesunden Beziehungen zu tun haben – und wie du emotionale Abhängigkeit vermeidest. 7 konkrete Dinge, die du für dich selbst tun solltest, bevor du jemanden liebst – mit Beispielen, Bildern & Reflexionen. Reflexionsfragen, die dich einladen, deine eigenen Muster zu erkennen und zu transformieren.   Buche dir dein kostenfreies Erstgespräch: Fülle 7 Fragen aus und buche dir ein kostenfreies Erstgespräch zur HEARTset-Journey: Hier klicken! Werde zertifizierter Heartset-Coach: Lerne Menschen auf ihrem Weg zur Selbstliebe professionell zu begleiten: Alle Infos hier!   Studien: Studie: Neff, K. D. (2003). The development and validation of a scale to measure self-compassion. Self and Identity, 2(3), 223–250. Zusammenfassung: In dieser bahnbrechenden Studie entwickelte Dr. Kristin Neff die Self-Compassion Scale (SCS), ein Instrument zur Messung von Selbstmitgefühl. Die Forschung zeigt, dass Selbstmitgefühl mit größerer emotionaler Resilienz, weniger Angstzuständen und höherem Wohlbefinden verbunden ist. Quelle --------- Studie: Murray, S. L., Holmes, J. G., & Griffin, D. W. (2000). Self-esteem and the quest for felt security: How perceived regard regulates attachment processes. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78(3), 478–498. Zusammenfassung: Diese Studie zeigt, dass Personen mit niedrigem Selbstwertgefühl dazu neigen, die positive Wahrnehmung ihrer Partner zu unterschätzen, was zu Unsicherheiten in Beziehungen führt. Ein stabiles Selbstwertgefühl fördert hingegen Vertrauen und Sicherheit in romantischen Bindungen. --------- Studie: Finkel, E. J., & Fitzsimons, G. M. (2010). The effects of self-regulation on social relationships. In R. F. Baumeister & K. D. Vohs (Eds.), Handbook of Self-Regulation: Research, Theory, and Applications (2nd ed., pp. 407–421). Zusammenfassung: Diese Forschung untersucht, wie Selbstregulationsfähigkeiten die Qualität sozialer Beziehungen beeinflussen. Personen mit hoher Selbstregulation zeigen tendenziell mehr Empathie, Geduld und Konfliktlösungsfähigkeiten, was zu stabileren und erfüllenderen Beziehungen führt.  

Are you trying to be a superhero…and burning out in the process? The truth is, self-sacrifice is NOT the key to being a good person. And it might actually be hurting everyone around you! Dr. Chris Germer, a leading expert on self-compassion, joins Matt to expose the lie that giving everything makes you noble. Learn practical strategies to break free from burnout, set healthy boundaries, and cultivate true compassion that starts with yourself. Whether you're a busy parent, caregiver, or anyone feeling stretched too thin, this episode offers transformative insights to help you thrive. Tune in to revolutionize the way you care for others - and most importantly YOU!0:00 Introduction1:29 The lie of self-sacrifice hurts everyone4:59 Balancing family responsibilities and self-care8:18 Three components of self-compassion13:43 Stress physiology and self-criticism16:49 Recognizing early signs of burnout22:52 Practical ways to start self-compassion27:41 Simple daily practices for self-care31:06 Letting go of superhuman expectations33:49 Key takeaways and closing thoughtsResources Mentioned:

This is our unabridged interview with Kristin Neff. Is high self-esteem crucial to human flourishing, or, rather, a hindrance? “The biggest problem with self-esteem is that it tends to be contingent,” says Kristin Neff. “We only feel good about ourselves when we succeed.” Far too often, high self-esteem breeds narcissism, bullying, and prejudice. Kristin is a professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. She's also a prominent expert on the topic of self-compassion, which her research has found to be much more effective than self-esteem in helping people flourish. In this episode, she shares what makes self-compassion different from self-esteem, how to cultivate it, and how it can help us to flourish amidst stress, suffering, and everyday life. We also hear briefly from psychiatrist and author Curt Thompson illuminating the negative neurobiological effects of shame while Kristen explains how self compassion can remedy these effects. Show Notes Resources: Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff Fierce Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff Self-Compassion.org Why Self-Compassion Works Better than Self-Esteem Similar episodes: Tara Brach Judith Moskowitz Alfie Kohn Curt Thompson Want more NSE? Join NSE+ Today! Our subscriber only community with bonus episodes designed specifically to help you live a good life, ad-free listening, and early access to tickets to our live shows. Great Feeling Studios, the team behind No Small Endeavor and other award-winning podcasts, helps nonprofits and brands tell stories that inspire action. If your organization has a message that deserves to be heard, start your podcast at helpmemakeapodcast.com. Subscribe to episodes: Apple | Spotify | Amazon | Google | YouTubeFollow Us: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | YouTubeFollow Lee: Instagram | TwitterJoin our Email List: nosmallendeavor.com See Privacy Policy: Privacy Policy Amazon Affiliate Disclosure: Tokens Media, LLC is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising progra… Learn about your ad choices: dovetail.prx.org/ad-choices

In stressful times, what if the key to mental and emotional well-being was not a mystery, but a set of daily, accessible practices that you could start today? In this special compilation episode we've curated guidance from some of the world's leading voices in the science of wellbeing—including Dacher Keltner, Kristin Neff, Robert Waldinger, Marc Schulz, Judith Moskowitz, Marisa Franco, Amishi Jha, and Oliver Burkeman—to explore how awe, self-compassion, relationships and mindfulness shape our lives and minds. You'll learn how experiences of awe can dramatically improve immune health and reduce anxiety; why self-compassion trumps self-esteem for lasting mental strength; how healthy relationships are not only the greatest predictor of happiness but even protect against physical illness; and how intentional mindfulness combats stress and boosts attention. Through science and lived experience, this episode offers a toolkit for building a more connected, reflective, and flourishing life of greater mental well-being. Show Notes Similar Episodes: Kristin Neff Curt Thompson Meghan Sullivan Heather Holleman Kelly Corrigan Transcript Want more NSE? Join NSE+ Today! Our subscriber only community with bonus episodes designed specifically to help you live a good life, ad-free listening, and early access to tickets to our live shows. Great Feeling Studios, the team behind No Small Endeavor and other award-winning podcasts, helps nonprofits and brands tell stories that inspire action. If your organization has a message that deserves to be heard, start your podcast at helpmemakeapodcast.com. Subscribe to episodes: Apple | Spotify | Amazon | Google | YouTubeFollow Us: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | YouTubeFollow Lee: Instagram | TwitterJoin our Email List: nosmallendeavor.com See Privacy Policy: Privacy Policy Amazon Affiliate Disclosure: Tokens Media, LLC is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program desi… Learn about your ad choices: dovetail.prx.org/ad-choices

Here are some resources on self-compassion:Dr. Kristin Neff's website Self-Compassion Practices: Cultivate Inner Peace and Joy - Self-Compassion (activities)Tara Brach's RAIN-of-Self-Compassion2 resource (PDF)AgriSafe's podcast episode on GratitudeHere are resources on mentorship and farm succession:Check out your state's ag extension programs; many states have mentor-mentee opportunities under their new/beginning farm/ranch programs!For farmers who don't have successors, the Land Stewardship Project has resources for retiring farmers and landowners that help them continue their farms legacy and values.AgriSafe's webinar on Training Future Generations of Farmers Through ApprenticeshipAgriSafe's webinar on the Three-Step Process to Farm Succession PlanningHere are useful resources from the National Institute of Aging:Cognitive health and older adultsActivities for older adults"Healthy Aging Tips for the Older Adults in Your Life"Here is one more resource from AgriSafe - a webinar on "Fall Prevention in Older Adults."-If you are interested in QPR training, visit: https://www.agrisafe.org/QPR/Check out the AgriStress Provider Directory: https://directory.agrisafe.org/Sign up for the AgriSafe newsletter: https://www.agrisafe.org/newsletter/View upcoming webinars: https://www.agrisafe.org/events/-Directed by Laura SiegelHosted by Linda EmanuelEdited by Joel Sharpton for ProPodcastingServices.comSpecial Guest: Beth Singer

Constantly battling that harsh inner voice that tells you you're not enough, that you'll never measure up? It can feel like this voice is always lurking, trying to undermine your confidence and making it so much harder to move forward. The good news is that you can change your internal narrative. For this episode, Jill welcomes Shawn Costello Woolley and Holly Yates, coauthors of The Inner Critic Workbook, a fantastic resource that helps you transform your inner critic into a supportive, empowering voice. You'll understand how shame fuels negative self-talk, but more importantly, how self-compassion, mindfulness, and connecting with shared humanity can help you to quiet your critic and start building a kinder, more confident inner dialogue. Listen and Learn: How your inner critic often sabotages your path toward what matters to you most Why your inner critic exists, how it hijacks your progress, and the ways it holds you back in life Is your inner critic pushing you to avoid discomfort, keeping you from the meaningful things you crave? Why self-compassion isn't about letting yourself off the hook Why attempting to replace your inner critic with positivity frequently fails, and what works instead When your inner critic speaks, does it close doors or point you in the direction of values you care about? Using the CARE method for growth to turn your inner critic into a compassionate coach How shame isolates you, but sharing struggles helps you connect and turns our inner critic into a coach Transforming self-criticism into compassion by speaking to yourself the way you would to a friend Stepping back from your thoughts and reacting intentionally, not just based on emotional interpretations How observing your thoughts and actions in the present moment can help clarify your values and guide your choices Resources: The Inner Critic Workbook: Self-Compassion and Mindfulness Skills to Reduce Feelings of Shame, Build Self-Worth, and Improve Your Life and Relationships: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781648484292 Shawn's website: https://www.drshawnwhooley.com/ More about Holly on: https://www.newharbinger.com/author/holly-yates/ Connect with Shawn and Holly on social media: https://www.linkedin.com/in/holly-yates-8a8055321 https://www.instagram.com/holly.yates.healing/ https://www.instagram.com/shawncostello19/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/shawn-costello-whooley-psyd-b181294 Related Episodes: 385. Oliver Burkeman on Embracing Your Limitations 346. Self-compassion Daily Journal with Diana Hill 341. Self-Forgiveness with Grant Dewar 301. Seven Daily ACT Practices for Living Fully with Diana Hill and Debbie Sorensen 201. Fierce Compassion with Kristin Neff 147. Extending Compassion with Janina Scarlet and Sara Schairer 145. Caring, Compassion, and Cooperation with Paul Gilbert 75. Mindful Self-Compassion with Christopher Germer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Bravery of Letting Go: A Deep Dive into Self-Forgiveness and Healing   In this vulnerable and thought-provoking episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore one of the most challenging aspects of the healing journey: self-forgiveness. Whether you've acted in ways you're not proud of or internalized blame after betrayal, the burden of shame can keep you tethered to past pain. Together, they unpack why so many individuals—both betrayed partners and those who have acted out—struggle to forgive themselves, even long after change begins. The conversation addresses the role of shame as a perceived protector, the internal dialogue that keeps us stuck, and how self-forgiveness isn't just an emotional release, but a physiological and relational turning point. Drawing from Internal Family Systems (IFS), systems theory, trauma research, and recovery work, Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn examine how embracing self-forgiveness leads to renewed self-trust, authentic change, and deeper connection. Listeners are also introduced to somatic and spiritual tools for letting go of self-judgment and are encouraged to explore their capacity to receive love—not just give it. The message is clear: your healing matters, and you are worthy of moving forward. Resources Mentioned: - Internal Family Systems (IFS) – A therapeutic model exploring parts of the self, especially protective parts tied to shame and fear.   - Mark Wolynn – Author of It Didn't Start with You, discussing inherited family trauma and emotional tethering across generations.   - Dr. Joe Dispenza – Work referenced regarding emotional addiction and how familiar patterns of pain can become neurologically ingrained.   - Dr. Kristin Neff – [selfcompassion.org](https://selfcompassion.org), a resource hub for meditations and exercises on self-compassion and self-forgiveness.   - Dr. Carol Dweck – Growth vs. fixed mindset; how change is possible through effort and intentionality.   - Dr. Kevin Skinner –Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal, discussing concepts such as the locus of control and how misplaced self-blame limits healing.   - 12-Step Recovery Principles – Concepts of surrender, self-reflection, and spiritual healing in addiction recovery.   - Somatic Exercises for Releasing Shame – Bilateral stimulation, body scans, and metaphor-based visualization to help the body release emotional burdens.   - Visualization Practices – Inviting clients to connect with a Higher Power, or a loving internal figure like a grandparent, to find grace and compassion within.

In a world that pushes perfectionism and self-criticism, what if the real secret to resilience was being your own best friend? In this episode, on Self-Compassion, we explore personal struggles with self-doubt and reveal how the science-backed practice of self-compassion can transform your relationship with yourself. Featuring insights from Dr. Kristin Neff's research, this episode offers teens and young adults simple, actionable steps to shift from self-criticism to self-kindness, boost motivation, and improve mental health. Learn how treating yourself with the same kindness you'd show a friend isn't just nice—it's scientifically proven to boost motivation, improve mental health, and help you bounce back from setbacks stronger than before. Whether you're a teen or a parent, tune in to discover actionable insights and nurture inner peace during these formative years. Like this episode? Take a second to share with a friend who might benefit too. Parents: if you're looking to help your teen/YA resolve weight & unhealthy eating habits, while improving body image and self-esteem, schedule a free consult call with me here. Parents: Grab a copy of my FREE Parent Guide: 6 Common Signs of Disordered Eating (and what to do next). Disclaimer  

"How can we get on the same page about discipline?" is one of the most common questions parents face. Before having kids, most couples never realize how different family backgrounds, experiences, and parenting beliefs will collide into seemingly unbridgeable differences. This episode explores practical tools to navigate these differences, from de-escalating tense moments to having productive conversations that honor both parents' needs while creating consistency for your children. Questions this episode will answer Why do my partner and I have such different approaches to discipline? Your differing approaches likely stem from your own childhood experiences, family values, and what you're trying to "fix" from your upbringing. You might also have different core needs you're trying to meet — one parent might prioritize structure and predictability while another focuses on emotional connection. Understanding these differences is key to finding common ground rather than seeing your partner as "wrong." How do I handle it when my partner disciplines our child in a way I don't agree with? When your partner uses a disciplinary approach you disagree with, jumping in to defend the kids often escalates the situation. Instead, try a de-escalation approach: help everyone regulate with your calm presence, validate each person's feelings, and offer a simple solution that gives everyone an out while preserving dignity. Save deeper discussions for later when kids aren't present. How can I talk to my partner about discipline without starting a fight? Approach conversations without judgment by framing the discussion around shared goals ("Can we talk about what we want to do when the kids don't listen?") rather than criticizing their approach ("You're too harsh with the kids"). The episode offers 10 indirect questions to help you understand the origins of your partner's beliefs about discipline. What if my partner thinks gentle parenting "doesn't work"? If your partner is using your imperfect moments as "evidence" that your approach doesn't work, start with self-compassion. We look at how to use tools like The Feedback Process to explore your different ideas and find ways to move forward together. How can we create a consistent approach that respects both our parenting styles? Start by understanding what's driving each of your approaches rather than just focusing on behaviors. When you identify the underlying needs you're both trying to meet—whether it's creating structure, ensuring emotional connection, or teaching responsibility—you'll often find common ground. The episode provides indirect questions you can use to understand how your childhood experiences have shaped your parenting values. Then you can work together to determine what success looks like for both of you, examine what actually happens with different approaches, and create hybrid solutions that honor each person's core values while giving your children the consistency they need. What you'll learn in this episode How to use self-compassion when parenting differences arise Self-compassion is essential when navigating differences in discipline approaches with your partner. Dr. Kristin Neff's research shows self-compassion includes self-kindness versus self-judgment, common humanity versus isolation, and mindfulness versus over-identification. Practice treating yourself with the same kindness you'd offer a friend when you make mistakes or struggle to align with your partner. The de-escalation approach for heated discipline moments Instead of undermining your partner in the moment, learn to de-escalate by helping everyone regulate, validating all feelings without taking sides, and offering simple solutions that preserve dignity....

In a world that teaches us to chase love, validation, and approval from everyone but ourselves—what happens when we flip the script?In this episode, we're talking all things self-love—the kind that's rooted in science, self-compassion, and real inner safety. We unpack the lies we've been fed about what it means to love yourself (spoiler: it's not cringe, it's revolutionary), how society polices confidence, and why self-love is often misunderstood as bubble baths and skincare.You'll walk away with a powerful new lens on:Why seeking external validation is the norm—but not the vibeThe difference between self-care and true self-loveHow to rewire your relationship with your inner criticThe science behind self-compassion and its wild impact on your brain and bodyTangible tools to shift from self-critical to self-kindAnd if no one's told you lately: You're allowed to love the hell out of yourself. Loudly. Proudly. Unapologetically.

Motherkind Moment is your place for calm and connection and a shift in perspective before the week ahead.  Dr. Kristin Neff joins us to encourage our capacity for self-compassion. She explains why self-compassion enhances resilience, motivation and emotional regulation and how being kind to ourselves benefits our children too. For more powerful insights from Dr. Kristin Neff listen to the full episode here: How being kind to ourselves transforms our parenting Click Here to order your copy of 'Motherkind: A New way to thrive in a world of endless expectations' Motherkind is sponsored by Wild Nutrition, the brand raising the bar for women's supplements. Want to feel the Food-Grown difference yourself? Get 50% off for three months at wildnutrition.com/motherkind. Ts and Cs apply. For a £100 sponsored job credit visit Indeed.com/ Motherkind This show is sponsored by Usborne books. If you want to add a little extra joy to storytime, 'Don't Tickle' touchy-feely sound books are available now from all good booksellers. This show is sponsored by Yeo Valley. Find Your Daily Groove: visit the Yeo Valley website to find out more. Yeo Got This! This show is sponsored by FreePrints. Download the Free Prints app for iPhone and Android from the App store or Google Play or visit freeprints.co.uk. Continue the Conversation: Join our community over on Instagram for inspiration, tips, and sometimes a bit of humour to get us through our day - @zoeblaskey Join our mailing list to receive news, updates and new episode releases Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today's wisdom comes from Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff.   If you're loving Heroic Wisdom Daily, be sure to subscribe to the emails at heroic.us/wisdom-daily.   And… Imagine unlocking access to the distilled wisdom form 700+ of the greatest books ever written.   That's what Heroic Premium offers: Unlimited access to every Philosopher's Note. Daily inspiration and actionable tools to optimize your energy, work, and love. Personalized coaching features to help you stay consistent and focused   Upgrade to Heroic Premium →   Know someone who'd love this? Share Heroic Wisdom Daily with them, and let's grow together in 2025!   Share Heroic Wisdom Daily →

In this episode of Regulated & Relational, Julie Beem and Ginger Healy discuss the concept of self-compassion, drawing insights from Dr. Kristin Neff's work. Dr. Neff, a researcher in the field, defines self-compassion as treating yourself with the same kindness you'd offer a close friend. She breaks it into three elements: mindfulness (being aware of struggles), connection (understanding we're not alone in challenges), and kindness to self (responding with warmth instead of self-criticism).Julie shares her own struggles with self-compassion and how it can be difficult to confront pain, often either ignoring it or fighting it. Self-compassion, according to Dr. Neff, allows people to pause, acknowledge the difficulty, and respond with care.Dr. Neff emphasizes that self-compassion isn't just a feel-good idea; it literally rewires the brain by activating the parasympathetic nervous system and increasing emotional regulation. It improves mental and physical health, supports decision-making, reduces stress, and enhances resilience.Julie and Ginger also provide five practical ways to incorporate more self-compassion into daily life, including mindfulness, self-care, journaling, connection with loved ones, and positive self-talk.Supporting ResourcesDr. Kristin Neffhttps://self-compassion.org/Dr. Neff's bookshttps://www.amazon.com/s?k=dr+kristen+neff&crid=218H6KXMNYTJ&sprefix=dr+kristin+neff%2Caps%2C145&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Krisen, Unsicherheiten und tagtäglich zahlreiche Schreckensmeldungen – manchmal scheint es unmöglich, bei den ganzen Hiobsbotschaften gelassen zu bleiben. Wie kann ich also achtsam bleiben, wenn die ganze Welt um mich herum verrückt spielt? Genau diese Hörerfrage hat mich vor Kurzem erreicht, die ich heute in meinem Podcast beantworten möchte. In dieser Podcastfolge erfährst du u.a.: ✔️ Warum dein Gehirn ständig nach Gefahren scannt – und wie du dich davon nicht beherrschen lässt. ✔️ Weshalb du die Welt nicht kontrollieren kannst, aber sehr wohl deine Gedanken und Gefühle. ✔️ Wie du mit Klarheit handelst, statt aus Panik zu reagieren. ✔️ Warum Mitgefühl mit dir selbst (Kristin Neff) und die Rückkehr in den Moment (Thich Nhat Hanh) dein Anker sein können. ✔️ Wie du Licht in dunklen Zeiten bist – für dich und andere. Wenn du dich also auch oft von Nachrichten und Chaos überwältigt fühlst, hör unbedingt rein. Denn es gibt Wege, mit dem Trubel da draußen und den ganzen Schreckensmeldungen umzugehen – ohne innerlich auszubrennen. In diesem Sinne wünsche ich dir ganz viel Freude mit meiner neuen Podcastfolge „Wie kann ich achtsam bleiben, wenn die Welt verrückt spielt?“. Sei achtsam mit dir! Deine Nuria

Tap to send me your reflections ♡This season of the podcast has been threading together a quiet but powerful theme - the many ways we navigate fear. This week's episode takes that theme deeper, exploring how self-compassion gives us the courage to stand in our own space, to hold our own hand, and to live with authenticity.A quote from Dr. Kristin Neff helped spark this reflection: "One of the most pervasive findings of the research literature is that self-compassion leads to authenticity, because when we aren't dependent on the approval of others for our self-worth, we are free to express our true selves."What does it mean to express our true selves? And what happens when we begin to return to ourselves, rather than seeking safety, validation, or belonging outside of us?In this episode, I share my own recent experience of moving through a deeply challenging time - one that called for profound self-compassion and the willingness to stay present with myself, rather than retreating into old patterns of avoidance. Through journal reflections, poetry, and the simple yet profound practices that support me (like the physicality of running, walking or taking baths plus the emotional connection of clear communication with others and sitting with what is), we explore how we can hold ourselves with care and step forward with quiet strength.This is an episode for those who are navigating their own moments of returning - those who feel the pull to reclaim their own space, their own self-worth, and their own power.Settle in, listen, and see where it takes you.Sign-up for everyday ♡ compassion - (almost) daily messages of love https://hennyflynn.ck.page/everyday-compassion Explore Henny's coaching, books, retreats, courses & events https://www.hennyflynn.co.uk/

Introduction

Are you constantly putting your needs last? In this episode, I talk with Dorothy Meyer about finding the courage to care for yourself and: • Breaking free from perfectionism with small snippets of self-care  • Resetting from burnout by leaning on your support system and resources  • Closing the gap between your passions and your career to find more meaningful work • Carving out time for your favorite forms of self-care like reading   Dorothy is a bookseller and small business owner in the Southern New Jersey suburbs of Philadelphia with a career background in corporate Human Resources.  She is navigating her way through midlife as a highly sensitive person with an endless curiosity for expanding knowledge about the world and herself.  Through the years Dorothy has struggled with perfectionism, overachieving, anxiety and susceptibility to burnout. Understanding herself as an HSP has been an integral component of her overall wellness.  She enjoys reading, running, yoga, and spending time in nature.  Keep in touch with Dorothy: • Website: http://www.renscoffeeandbooks.com  • Ren's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/renscoffeenj  • Dorothy's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theyellowbrickreader  • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@renscoffeehouseandbooks • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/renscoffeehousenj   Resources Mentioned: • Ren's Mailing List: https://www.renscoffeeandbooks.com • Dorothy's HSP Reading List: https://bookshop.org/lists/dorothy-s-hsp-reading-list • Fierce Self-Compass by Kristin Neff, PhD: https://bookshop.org/a/63892/9780062991065  Thanks for listening! You can read the full show notes and sign up for my email list to get new episode announcements and other resources at: https://www.sensitivestories.comYou can also follow "SensitiveStrengths" for behind-the-scenes content plus more educational and inspirational HSP resources: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sensitivestrengths TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sensitivestrengths Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@sensitivestrengths And for more support, attend a Sensitive Sessions monthly workshop: https://www.sensitivesessions.com. Use code PODCAST for 25% off. If you have a moment, please rate and review the podcast, it helps Sensitive Stories reach more HSPs! This episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment with a mental health or medical professional. Some links are affiliate links. You are under no obligation to purchase any book, product or service. I am not responsible for the quality or satisfaction of any purchase.

In this episode of Human Capital, Jeff Hunt sits down with Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher and author on self-compassion, to discuss how this practice can combat workplace burnout. Burnout is a widespread issue affecting employees and leaders alike, with severe consequences for productivity, well-being, and organizational health. Dr. Neff explains the three core elements of self-compassion—mindfulness, common humanity, and kindness—and how they serve as a foundation for resilience, performance, and stress management. She dispels common myths about self-compassion, such as the belief that it weakens motivation, and instead highlights how it fosters greater accountability, problem-solving, and emotional strength. Drawing from research and personal experiences, she shares insights on how leaders can create healthier work environments and support employees in recognizing and recovering from burnout. She also introduces practical self-compassion exercises that listeners can use to shift from self-criticism to self-support, ultimately improving their professional and personal lives. Listeners will walk away with actionable strategies to foster self-compassion, enhance workplace culture, and sustain long-term success without sacrificing well-being. Guest Info: Dr. Kristin Neff Kristin's Book: Mindful Self-Compassion for Burnout: Tools to Help You Heal and Recharge When You're Wrung Out by Stress Kristin's Upcoming Workshop: Self-Compassion for Work Stress and Burnout

We're bringing back one of our most insightful and impactful episodes! In our very first episode, you heard my conversation with Dr. Lesley Cook about executive functioning. She had so much wisdom to share that I couldn't wait to have her back—this time, to explore the topic of self-compassion. Is it possible to have too much self-compassion? How do we find the balance between being kind to ourselves while still striving for progress? Dr. Lesley shares her expertise, breaking down the complexities of self-compassion and how it plays a crucial role in our personal growth. About Our Guest: Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist specializing in ADHD and neurodivergence. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia, where she works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families. Show Highlights: ✅ Finding the balance between self-compassion and personal growth ✅ Understanding self-compassion through Dr. Kristin Neff's work ✅ The role of shame and how it connects to self-compassion ✅ Strategies for shifting from shame to self-compassion ✅ How self-compassion can become a learned behavior we pass down to our children Link and Resources:  Connect with Dr. Lesley: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Meet Joe Sanok   Joe Sanok helps counselors to create thriving practices that are the envy of other counselors. He has helped counselors to grow their businesses by 50-500% and is proud of all the private practice owners who are growing their income, influence, and impact on the world. Click here to explore consulting with […] The post Better Mental Wellness Series: Pioneering the Science Behind Self-Compassion with Dr. Kristin Neff | POP 1175 appeared first on How to Start, Grow, and Scale a Private Practice | Practice of the Practice.

Kennst du das auch? Manchmal fühlt man sich einfach mies, und die Schokolade ruft förmlich nach einem. In den letzten Wochen ging's mir genauso. Ich hatte echt mit einigen unschönen Gefühlen zu kämpfen und war kurz davor, mich mit Süßkram zu trösten. Aber weißt du was? Ich hab einen Weg gefunden, da rauszukommen – ganz ohne Schokoladen-Essattacken! In dieser Folge von „Frühling, jetzt! 7 Tage zum Strahlen & Glücklichsein“ erzähle ich dir: • Wie ich fast in alte Muster zurückgerutscht wäre und was mich davon abgehalten hat. • Warum Dankbarkeit mein Geheimrezept gegen die miese Stimmung ist. • Einfache Tipps, wie du Dankbarkeit in deinen Alltag einbauen kannst, um besser mit blöden Gefühlen umzugehen. Entdecke, wie Dankbarkeit dir mehr Freude in dein Leben zu holen - und du sogar Stress-Essen damit stoppen kannst. Alles Liebe mit dieser Podcast-Folge, Nuria

In this episode of The High Performance Mindset, Dr. Cindra highlights the crucial role of self-compassion in achieving success, using Serena Williams as an example of how elite performers embrace setbacks with kindness rather than self-criticism.   Drawing on Dr. Kristen Neff's research, Dr. Cindra outlines three key elements of self-compassion: self-kindness, recognizing common humanity, and practicing mindfulness. By making self-compassion a habit, you can bounce back stronger, reduce stress, and enhance performance.    Power Phrase this Week: “I am kind to myself. I am doing the best I can. I got it next time!”   Quote of the Week: "Self-compassion is not a luxury; it's a necessity for growth. Embracing our imperfections is what helps us rise stronger." — Kristin Neff

We are often our own harshest critics, but what if self-compassion could be the key to unlocking resilience, growth, and inner peace? In this empowering episode, Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneering researcher and author, reveals the transformative power of self-compassion and how it can help us overcome burnout, build authentic self-worth, and navigate life's challenges with grace. Through mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness, Dr Neff explains how self-compassion works not as an indulgence but as a strength that fosters motivation, emotional well-being, and stronger boundaries. With actionable strategies like the “self-compassion break” and simple grounding practices, you'll learn how to reframe self-talk, embrace your imperfections, and rediscover the joy of being human. Whether you're a caregiver, entrepreneur, or simply seeking balance, this conversation will inspire you to stop being so hard on yourself and start living in a place of true inner strength. About Dr Kristin Neff Dr Kristin Neff is a trailblazing researcher, author, and educator who has transformed the way we understand and practice self-compassion. As an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, Kristin conducted the first empirical studies on self-compassion over two decades ago, establishing herself as one of the most influential figures in psychology today. She is the bestselling author of Self-Compassion and Fierce Self-Compassion and co-developer of the Mindful Self-Compassion program, an evidence-based approach to building resilience and emotional well-being. Through the Centre for Mindful Self-Compassion, which she co-founded, and the Self-Compassion Community, an online platform for shared learning, Kristin has helped countless individuals cultivate self-kindness and transform their lives. Her groundbreaking work, including co-authoring The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook and Mindful Self-Compassion for Burnout, continues to inspire a global audience to embrace their humanity with courage and care. You can watch the video of this conversation on YouTube Find Out More About Dr Kristin Neff Visit Dr Neff’s Website Check Out Dr Neff’s Giveaways Below: Free Self-Compassion Test Free Intro to Self-Compassion Sessions Connect with Dr Kristin Neff on Facebook Follow Dr Neff on Instagram @NeffSelfCompassion

IntroductionMy mission is to help the world be shamelessly sexy. To me, that means not feeling ashamed about who you are or the type of sex you want to have. It means going after the things that you want in bed and in life. Being shamelessly sexy looks different for everyone. It's something you need to define for yourself on your own terms. Also, no one can ever be perfectly shamelessly sexy. That's because shame is a normal human emotion that will continue to crop up in life. But being perfect is not the point, people! Not feeling shame is not the point, either. This is about self-discovery. It's about living your own life that is pleasurable and “totally rad,” as the surfer dudes say. It's about feeling aligned with yourself and courageous enough to pursue what you want.I may be more shamelessly sexy now, but I wasn't always this way. I grew up in London, where I was trained at all-girls private schools to be a prim and proper young lady. The red shoes of my school uniform were always perfectly polished. As I failed to color inside the lines in my lessons, I developed a dangerous curiosity.One day, I secretly came across what one might call a “spicy book” or “smut” in my school library. Heavens! When I read it, I felt excited. It was a beacon, an acknowledgment from the adult world:“There are other horny teenagers just like you out there. In fact, being a horny teenager is normal. All those boring adults? Well, they were once one, too.”That day, my perspective on sexuality changed. That smut book opened my mind to the possibility that sex and lovemaking are some of the most beautiful things in the world, even if nobody overtly champions them. I still believe that it's one of life's greatest joys to love another person fully, honestly, and vulnerably. And yet, this is totally hidden in our culture, which makes us feel guilty for simply enjoying ourselves. To this day, that doesn't make sense to me. I've come to wonder whether there is a screw missing in my brain or if it's that I simply transcended the confines of the world I grew up in all those years ago when I read that smut book in the library. Now, I try to help others do the same: to love ourselves and our partners openly in our own unique, beautiful, and messy ways.This piece is for heterosexual-leaning females because that's my experience. Men experience shame differently, and I'll address that in another piece. So, let's dive into how we can get you there!Defining Shame About SexIn my article, “How To Be Shameless,” I shared Brené Brown's definition of shame: “Shame is an epidemic in our culture” that is “highly correlated with addiction, depression, violence, aggression, bullying, suicide, eating disorders." She shares that "[f]or women, shame is: do it all, do it perfectly, and never let them see you sweat.”Here's an example of this in my friend Emily's day-to-day life. Emily is fresh out of a relationship, and she wants to feel good about her body. Last week, we identified where her ideas about her body and her sexuality are coming from.* Feminine conservatism from her mother: Emily's mother is Catholic. For her whole life, Emily's mother wanted her to cover her shoulders and wear longer, feminine dresses, especially when they went to her grandmother's house for Sunday brunch.* Bikini bodies from Instagram: Emily saw a beautiful woman wearing a bikini on Instagram, so she ordered one. It has a G-string bottom that Emily is a bit nervous about trying, but since she lives by the beach, she wants to give it a go.* Pressure from her ex: When Emily was 18, she dated a guy who was 23, and he was more sexually experienced than her. He made her feel guilty that she had never had a threesome and that she didn't want to watch porn with him. In his eyes, she was never sexually experienced enough.* Social Comparison: With her last boyfriend, Emily noticed when they passed other girls on the beach who were prettier than her. Those girls were tanned and wore the G-string bikinis like it was nobody's business. Emily knew that comparison was the thief of joy, but she still wondered if her boyfriend wanted to be with someone prettier.Emily's experiences mirror exactly how Brené Brown described shame in women: “unobtainable, conflicting, competing expectations about who we are supposed to be.” Still, Emily's situation confused me. If her sexuality and her feelings about her own body weren't these messages from others, then what were they? This was something far deeper than her mother's conservatism or her ex pressuring her to have sex. Perhaps this was something internal. Perhaps this was something to do with her “self,” and that required an energetic, internal transformation. We agreed that it sounded woo-woo, but her feelings about her sexuality and her body are a form of energy that she embodies.Being Shameless SexyEmily and I agreed that being shamelessly sexy comes down to three fundamental things: knowing what you want, believing you deserve what you want, and asking for it. There's a lot to say here, so I'll address the tips for each of them separately.Know What You Want“If the desert is holy, it is because it is a forgotten place that allows us to remember the sacred. Perhaps that is why every pilgrimage to the desert is a pilgrimage to the self.” (Terry Tempest Williams).I could probably write a whole book with tips on how to help you figure out what you want in your sex life. I don't claim to be a witch or a genius, so I'll share what's helped me so far.* Work On Your Shame.As I explored previously, facing your shame can help you change your perspective and let go of the past. So, pull up a shameful memory or two from your past that involves your body or having sex. Try not to pick something too overwhelming to begin with. You might need to repeat this exercise multiple times if you have various memories bringing you shame about sex in your past. For this exercise, I picked Valentine's Day with my high school boyfriend when I was 17 when my younger sister walked in on us trying to have a romantic bath together, and my dad found out and gave me the awkward sex talk. It was terrible.Hold your experience in your mind's eye. Remember as many details as you can about the situation. Notice what you feel. Do you feel any physical sensations in your body, your chest, or your throat? Where are you holding the shame in your body? Now, turn toward your younger self with compassion. Acknowledge the pain of the experience. Find a loving gesture you can give yourself for comfort. For this experience, I held my hand and told myself,“Taking a bath is a rather wonderful thing to do with someone. That experience was cruel. You didn't deserve that.”If you don't want to hold your hand, you could also hug yourself, squeeze your arm, or put your hand on your heart. Think of what a loving parent or a kind adult would say to your younger self now. What does your younger self need to hear? It could be something like,“Experiencing shame is part of life. You're not alone. You made a mistake. That doesn't mean you are a mistake. I forgive you.”The more you can give yourself love and acceptance, the less shame you'll eventually feel about that experience. It is totally okay if you cry or feel a big wash of emotion. That's a good sign that you're processing pain and grief.You can listen to my Misseducated interview with Dr. Kristin Neff, the world's leading expert on self-compassion, here: “How to Be Kind to Yourself, and Why It Matters.”* Keep a sex diary or journal.Writing helps to make what we know subconsciously about ourselves conscious. For three years, I've written about my sex life on my blog, Misseducated. Exploring my experiences in pieces like “Why I Never Swallow Cum” has had an incredible benefit that I didn't expect: it has helped me figure out what I like in bed. Writing about your sex life can help you figure out what you want to explore and where your limitations are. You can also learn the exact techniques that make you orgasm and how you like to receive pleasure (for me, the secret tip is always a little bit of butt stuff).So, I encourage you to start keeping a separate journal where you can explore sexual experiences from your past and what you liked and didn't like about them. Start with a prompt like “Losing My Virginity,” “My First Kiss,” or “The Best Sex I Ever Had,” and go from there. Try to bring in all the senses: what you saw, what you heard, what you touched, what you smelt, what you tasted, and what you felt. A candlelit dinner? Grinding at the club? It's all part of your arousal and your sexuality. It can be as simple as a private note on your phone, which you can then giggle to yourself about secretly.Subscribe to the Misseducated Calendar to learn more about when I host Sex Writing Workshops in the future.* Separate the voices of others from your own.“We have lived quite enough for others: let us live at least this tail-end of life for ourselves.” (Page 271, Michel de Montaigne)As you distinguish your voice in your sex diary, it's important to keep the voices of other people separate. For example, you can make a quick list of self-critical words or phrases that often come up for you. Now, try to figure out where you learned each voice and to whom it belongs. Are these your mother's words? Or did Mrs. Screech from 2nd Grade plug those into your brain?Imagine your brain. Clear a dedicated little space at the back of it, which is solely reserved for your thoughts and feelings about your life. This is where you are going to store your unique thoughts. As the old French philosopher Montaigne says,“We should aside a room, just for ourselves, at the back of the shop, keeping it entirely free and establishing there our true liberty, our principal solitude, and asylum.” (Page 270, Michel de Montaigne)* Define success in your sex life.What are your aspirations when it comes to your sex life? Would you like to orgasm or squirt with your partner at least twice every time you sleep together? Is it dancing bachata? Or is it throwing away your razor and just living like you want to, hairy armpits and all? Take some time to define success on your own terms. This exercise is about self-acceptance, not about judging yourself in any way or stressing yourself out. It's supposed to be fun!For me, success in my sex life does not involve jet-setting around the world to attend giant orgies every weekend (though it might look like that for you). It's probably just having a loving relationship where I can enjoy plenty of butt stuff, and we can be open enough for an optional third person who we can play with together, and I can have lots of earth-shattering orgasms, of course.* De-stigmatize your body and other people's.Going to clothing-optional events has brought me a lot of acceptance and love for my body. As I've shared, while it's normal to feel nervous at first, I find being naked around other people very freeing. Attending an event like The Naked Bike Ride in Philadelphia has shown me that when you get a whole bunch of naked bodies together for a brief moment, the intensity of our insecurities and self-consciousness totally melts away.The prospect of going to these events might terrify you. But just remember that our obsession with our bodies being perfect or looking a certain way is a social construct that we need to unlearn if we want to feel truly shameless about who we are. I hope you can find ways to explore de-stigmatizing your body for yourself, whether that be going to the sauna, skinny-dipping in a river, or going to a nudist beach.* Follow your curiosity.Sexuality is a journey of exploration, constant evolution, and discovery. As I've shared previously, “God” is not going to part the clouds and bestow upon you your one true perfect sexual experience. What you're curious about exploring may well just start as a whisper, which you're going to need to listen for closely.Imagine that sexuality is like a pair of shoes that you're trying on in a shop. Does this activity or idea feel very “you”? Could you see yourself wearing those sparkly heels on the right occasion? Like Emily wearing a G-string bikini on the beach, try something new when you're not sure if you'll like them or not, and see how it feels. There's power in courage, which, as Maya Angelou reminds us, is the most important of all the virtues.* Talk to yourself.Talking to yourself is usually considered weird. But I highly encourage you to sit down and do it to figure out what you're comfortable with and what you're not. As Pauline said wisely in our interview about open relationships,“Sexuality is an emotion…It depends on where you are in your mind…You always have to sit down with your thoughts and kind of like ask yourself this question: am I okay right now? Do I feel safe?”Knowing your limits is a beautiful thing. For example, I consider myself a sexually open person, but almost four years ago, I experienced what can only be described as a doozy of a sexual assault. I still don't feel comfortable with men I don't know touching me, and I am so thankful to know that about myself.If you feel like you're crossing the line for any reason, remember what Pauline shared,“I'm able to stop at any time. Like that's also something that is like really important…You can stop at any time and say goodbye. Like, I'm done. And it's okay. It doesn't mean you're a loser. It doesn't mean anything. It just means that right here, right now, you just don't want it. And it's okay.”* Make up your own rules.Despite being a huge people pleaser for most of my life, I made up a rule that I would only allow a guy to stay over at my house once he was my boyfriend. I decided this because I noticed how disrupted my sleep gets when a guy stays over, and it often ruins my next day. Admittedly, I don't always stick to my own rules when I'm hooking up with a dude who is particularly hot and cool (I'm allowed to make exceptions to my own rules, lol.) But the point is that I've taken time beforehand to identify my needs and figure out what is important to me.Get some space and peace of mind. And while you're alone, off on a solo adventure or single, go ahead and put your own rules in place. These could be rules about your sleep, your safety, and where you want things inserted into your body. Write these down in your sex journal, also. It's easier to decide what you want when there is no one else in the picture because biology is a stronger force than anything else in the world, and having a hot guy in your life is incredibly distracting. And, of course, once you make a rule for yourself, don't be pansy like me. The first step is to recognize that you deserve to have needs and boundaries. The second step is actually to enforce them.* Explore the underworld.This is about getting a handle on what's possible in terms of your sexuality. While porn is acting and often misleading, if you're open to it, I encourage you to watch some. You can watch some female-friendly porn here and here. Watching porn is a good way to see what's possible, and who knows, you might find it arousing.I thought that everyone was like me and had watched porn in secret, but it turns out I have female friends who have never watched porn, who are virgins, and who have never had an orgasm. Everyone is on their own journey, and that's a beautiful thing. I encourage you to meet yourself where you are right now and go from there. Also, try taking the BDSM test. It might help you figure out what type of sex you like to have. If some questions come up that you have no idea about, read the definitions and see if that's something you might want to explore.“When you're in a relationship, it shouldn't be the end of exploring your sexuality.” – Pauline, Open Relationships 101* Explore your body, guilt-free.Planned Parenthood quoted research published in 1994, which said, “half of the adult women and men who masturbate feel guilty about it.” Quotes like this depress me because, as far as I am concerned, guilt is a totally useless emotion. Meanwhile, “the medical community considers masturbation to be a natural and harmless expression of sexuality for both men and women” (Masturbation Guide, WebMD).Every time you feel guilty about touching yourself, buying a new toy, or feeling hot as f**k, just remember that there are literally 5,000 worse things you could be in the world than being a masturbater. You could be a murderer. You could be intentionally stomping on all the flowers in your neighbor's garden. Masturbation is harmless, pleasurable, and fun. So, take time for it like you take time for a friend who wants to get coffee and talk about her most recent breakup. Seriously, give yourself an hour at least and see what you can do. And also, put what you discover in your sex journal.* Question everything.Something is only “normal” because some people in our society decided it was. So, take all the assumptions you have about yourself, your life, who you can be, and what you can do, and turn them upside down. As Pauline expresses beautifully:“I deconstruct a lot by myself, about like patriarchy, about like me as a woman, like sexuality…And a lot of stuff, you're like, “But why the f**k am I doing this?”… Why are we even like, I don't know, blowing candles for a birthday? Like a lot of questions. And yeah, you know, why? "Yeah, it's normal.” I'm like, “No, it's not. Like how the f**k we ended up doing this?”Why the f**k do we blow our candles on a birthday cake, indeed?Believe You Deserve What You WantThis next step is about self-esteem. It's about standing up for your needs, saying f**k yes to people or f**k no to people, and not feeling guilty either way.* Be selfishWikipedia defines selfishness as “being concerned excessively or exclusively for oneself or one's own advantage, pleasure, or welfare, regardless of others.” I find this definition so funny! Because being socialized as a woman, it's clear to me that women are often branded as being selfish for having any concern for ourselves at all. The example comes to mind of my mother calling me selfish because, at age 28, I refused to share a bed with my brother, who is 6'5” tall (195cm), on the family holiday. In the world I grew up in, I wasn't really allowed to have needs, let alone express them.It's a crime in our society for a woman to put herself first. Yet, this is the moment when we decide to stop being doormats, even if we risk being branded as “difficult” in the process. I wholeheartedly encourage you to start being selfish.* Believe your pleasure matters.In the bedroom, this means taking up space and time to make sure you get the pleasure you deserve. As someone who has written a lot about the orgasm gap and experienced it firsthand, I know that we are simply not there yet. According to the International Academy of Sex Research in 2017, quoted in the Guardian,“95% of heterosexual men said they usually or always orgasmed when sexually intimate, followed by 89% of gay men, 88% of bisexual men, 86% of lesbian women, 66% of bisexual women, and 65% of straight women.”I've explained how the world would be a very different place if straight females were orgasming 65% of the time. I estimated I had orgasmed with 8% of my partners and maybe 25% of all the times I have had sex. To be shamelessly sexy, we have to believe that our pleasure is just as important as our partner's pleasure. We're talking about getting equal pleasure for equal measure.* Remember that nothing is wrong with you.With shame being blasted at you from all directions, it's easy to believe that it's your fault for being alive in the body that you're in. I fundamentally disagree with this. Books like “Invisible Women” teach us that the reason why nothing ever seems right for us is because the world was not designed with us in mind. Literally, the people who designed airbags in cars, sidewalks, and even medications didn't bother to test them on female bodies, and this has real-world consequences. If you've ever had weird side effects from medication, just remember that women were all but left out of medical research until 1993. This costs female lives.It's not that there is something with you. It's that there is something wrong with the world. Nothing is wrong with you. You are simply a woman, and because of that, you will never be typical or be the default.* Prioritize your relationship with yourself.The harsh truth is that our relationship with ourselves is the only constant relationship we will have in until we die. Everyone else will come and go—friends, partners, parents, lovers, siblings, and children, even. Your relationship with yourself is the only one that truly sticks.So, for God's sake, put yourself first. What you think about yourself matters much more than what other people think of you. And don't be like the guy from The Onion article titled, “Man Waiting Until Parents Die Before Doing A Single Thing That Makes Him Happy.”* Your experiences are valid. Your feelings are real.I used to have very low self-esteem until I started going to a 12-step Program called ACA. Over time, I learned from the program to ground myself on the basis of my experience rather than constantly defining myself by the actions of other people. One example of this new thinking came at the end of my most recent fling. Here's how I can choose to react:My old self says: “He doesn't want a relationship with me. I'm not worthy of being his girlfriend.”My new self says: “I want to be in a relationship with someone who wants to be in a relationship with me.”It's the same experience, but I now have a totally different perspective on it, one that is rooted in self-respect and dignity. So, remember that your feelings are valid. Your experiences are real. And be sure to define yourself in terms of your own needs and dignity, not from the broken actions of other people.* Define your body on your terms, also.When I was 15, I went to get bras fitted with my mother. I had armpit hair at that point and didn't bother using a razor (at least, I've been consistent with that to this day). When I noticed that she saw my armpit hair, I said something like,“Will doesn't mind.”Will was my boyfriend at the time. As a young person, I felt the need to justify the existence of my armpit hair to my mother. If my mother wasn't defining me, I had to justify my body in the context of another person, my boyfriend, and a male person, nonetheless. I had no idea that I was allowed to keep my body the way I wanted to, armpit hair and all.If you find yourself stressing out about external standards, just remember that it's not up to other people to define who you are. Only you can and should define that. And if other people aren't comfortable with that, that's their deal.* Take up space. Take up time.Some of my female friends find it impossible to go to a café, buy themselves a treat, and sit down to read a book on their own. What if someone else wanted to use that table? They've asked me, perplexed. Existing on their terms in a public space is a struggle. Whether it's having an orgasm with a partner or buying a cookie from a café, because of culture or history, many of us have internalized that whatever this is, it is not for people like us.But have you ever sat in a vast canyon, totally alone? Have you ever climbed to the top of a small hill in the desert in New Mexico, with 360 panoramic views, and cried and felt held by the vastness of the desert all around you? Well, I have. And I can tell you that that's plenty of room for you there, in the desert and in the world. It might take a quick adventure into nature. But just remember that the sky and the earth can hold all of you and so much more, just as they've held your ancestors since the beginning of time. As Maya Angelou says, “Take up the battle. Take it up. This is your life. This is your world.”So, please sit down at the table for as long as you like and eat the cookie.Ask for What You WantIt's time to express yourself, your desires, and your needs to the people you're having sex with. Otherwise, all this hard work you've done internally won't actually go anywhere. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. And it's time to squeak!* Safety, first.It's very important that you trust the person you are going to ask these things for. Before I pegged my boyfriend, we had already been dating for a couple of months. The act of an ask itself can be a very vulnerable moment, so make sure you're with a compassionate partner who respects your body and who will honor your needs and desires. If your partner sucks at listening or makes you feel judged or inadequate in any way, they might not be the right person to explore your sexuality with.* Muster up your courage.“Courage is more important than confidence. Taking that first step in doing anything is the real key to begin to manifest the possibility of that thing happening” — Debbie Millman, The Tim Ferriss Show.The art of asking takes courage. You're also opening up to the possibility of being rejected by the other person. But you can't say the wrong thing to the right person. It's better to rip off the band-aid than spend your whole life wondering whether or not to say something, second-guessing, and tiptoeing. You deserve an answer.* Over-communicate with your partner.Each time will be different because, as a human, you are evolving. Be sure to check in regularly to see whether your partner is still comfortable with this or if you want to try something new. Here's how Pauline communicates with her partner:“We look at each other in the eyes a lot. Like, okay, what do you think? We communicate a lot through the night. We send like text messages…But each time we were doing it, we kind of like sit before and we're like, “Okay, what's your mind in today? What do you want to do? What do you want to explore? How do you feel? Where's your head at today?”* Pick the right people. Curate the right spaces.I'll share more another time, but I went to some sex parties in New York where I didn't feel comfortable at all. I wouldn't go back there again, but I would consider going to a play party if I was with the right people. It really depends on the context, who the people are, and if this feels like the kind of place you want to be in.“You should pick whatever you like and create your own community and yourself and like whoever bonds with you and agrees with you, and that's cool.” – Pauline* Leave if you need to.If your partner does not want to explore the same things as you, you may need to find someone else who you are more compatible with and who celebrates you exploring your sexuality. Refuse to settle. As Pauline shared,“I think like you have to find your own way, which is nice because I think, as a girl, I have never been taught that you can find your own way in your sexuality. It was more like you'll have what you got. And then, if you're not happy, that's what it is.”ConclusionIf you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading my guide to being shamelessly sexy. I hope you loved it, that you found something here that made you smile, or maybe it inspired you to explore something new. Please feel free to reach out to me with what you discovered, as I would love to hear from you, and share this article with a like-minded friend if you think it could help them.There's one final phrase that I want you to keep in mind:“You can do it on your terms. It's your sexuality in the end. So, do yourself on your terms.” – Pauline.Amen.

When you make a mistake, at work do feel ashamed and beat yourself up about it?  It turns out that if we applied self-compassion in those moments, not only would we be kinder to ourselves, we'd also handle our work load better as well.  Professor Kristin Neff is a pioneer in the study of self-compassion. Her early work in the field and multiple best-selling books on the topic have seen her become recognised as one of the most influential scholars in the field of psychology.  In this episode Kristin shares: 

In this episode April Bordeau and Jean Crane explore the transformative power of self-compassion. Too often, caregivers, parents, and those in helping professions are quick to give love and support to others but forget to extend the same kindness to themselves. Join us as we dive into why self-compassion is essential not only for your own well-being but also for those you care for. Tune in as we uncover how nurturing yourself can help you better nurture others. What is Self-Compassion?Defining self-compassion: treating yourself with the same care and kindness you would offer a friend.The three components of self-compassion: Self-kindness, Common humanity, and Mindfulness.Why Self-Compassion is Vital for Caregivers:How caregiving can lead to burnout and compassion fatigue if you're not compassionate with yourself.The role of self-compassion in maintaining health while caring for others.Practical Tips for Cultivating Self-Compassion:Simple mindfulness exercises to help you check in with yourself.How to reframe negative self-talk and replace it with kinder, more supportive thoughts.Setting healthy boundaries and knowing when to ask for help.The Ripple Effect of Self-Compassion:Why caring for yourself makes you a more effective caregiver.How self-compassion leads to more patience, understanding, and emotional resilience, benefiting the people you care for.Resources:Books, courses, or apps to help you develop a self-compassion practice (e.g., Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff ).Books by Author Curt Thompson Dane Ortlund, Gentle and Lowly Quotes from the Episode:"You cannot pour from an empty cup. Self-compassion is the refill you need.""To care for others fully, you must first learn to care for yourself."Follow Care to Change on Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/CaretoChange.org/Follow Care to Change on Instagram @care_to_change See our YouTube page here If you would like someone to come speak to your group about anxiety, depression or mental health, contact us for more details. If you are struggling and ready to take a step toward freedom, schedule an appt today.  

Are you nurturing and advocating for yourself? In this episode, I talk with Nadine Pinede about dimming your inner critic to a whisper and:  • Learning to advocate for yourself when you have an invisible illness and/or are a person of color  • Soothing pain and discomfort through MBSR (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction) and Self-Compassion practices  • Seeing yourself and others for who they truly are, not the groups they belong to  • Channeling grief and pain into creativity and writing  • Slowing down to see how everything is connected  Nadine is the daughter of Haitian exiles who were forced to leave their homeland because of a dictatorship. Her mother was no doubt sharing enthralling tales of Haitian history and family lore when Nadine was in the womb. Nadine is an author, poet, editor, educator, and translator who created her own interdisciplinary major at Harvard and then continued on to Oxford on a Rhodes Scholarship. She also has an MFA in fiction and poetry and holds a PhD from Indiana University. Nadine's upcoming debut novel from Candlewick Press, When the Mapou Sings, is dedicated to her first storyteller, her mother, who encouraged her to write her own stories.  Keep in touch with Nadine: • Website: https://nadinepinede.com  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nadinepinede  Resources Mentioned: • When the Mapou Sings by Nadine Pinede: https://bookshop.org/a/63892/9781536235661  • Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) for Pain: https://www.ummhealth.org/umass-memorial-medical-center/mindfulness-managing-pain-introduction  • Fierce Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff, Ph.D.: https://bookshop.org/a/63892/9780062991065 • Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston: https://bookshop.org/a/63892/9780060838676Thanks for listening! You can read the full show notes and sign up for my email list to get new episode announcements and other resources at: https://www.sensitivestories.comYou can also follow "SensitiveStrengths" for behind-the-scenes content plus more educational and inspirational HSP resources: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sensitivestrengths TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sensitivestrengths Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@sensitivestrengths And for more support, attend a Sensitive Sessions monthly workshop: https://www.sensitivesessions.com. Use code PODCAST for 25% off. If you have a moment, please rate and review the podcast, it helps Sensitive Stories reach more HSPs! This episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment with a mental health or medical professional. Some links are affiliate links. You are under no obligation to purchase any book, product or service. I am not responsible for the quality or satisfaction of any purchase.

Burnout is on the rise. Two experts show us how to combat it.Dr. Kristin Neff is an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. She is a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, conducting the first empirical studies on self-compassion more than twenty years ago. Christopher Germer is a clinical psychologist and lecturer on psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. He also co-developed a highly impactful program called Mindful Self-Compassion, which has been taught to over 100,000 people across the world.This episode is part of our monthlong Do Life Better series. We talk about:How to know if you are burnt outThe three main symptoms of burnout, their causes, and their health consequencesThe three components of self-compassion and how they can help The inner critic and why we kick our own assesHow to draw appropriate boundaries with your bossThe difference between tender and fierce self-compassionTools for dealing with perfectionism without letting go of high standardsRelated Episodes: Do Life BetterSanely Ambitious Kryptonite for the Inner Critic | Kristin Neff#360 Self-Compassion Ain't Always Soft | Kristin Neff#310 The Scientific Case for Self-Compassion | Chris GermerFor the Burned Out, Fried, and Exhausted | Emily & Amelia NagoskiSign up for Dan's newsletter hereFollow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTokTen Percent Happier online bookstoreSubscribe to our YouTube ChannelOur favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular EpisodesFull Shownotes: https://meditatehappier.com/podcast/tph/neff-germer-894Additional Resources:Self-compassion event with Kristin Neff & Dan HarrisThe Self-Compassion TestThe Center for Mindful Self CompassionSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this Think Thursday episode, we're diving deep into the concept of rumination—the exhausting cycle of repetitive, negative thinking. Molly breaks down why our beautiful, brilliant human brains get stuck in this mental quicksand and how it can sabotage our progress, especially when trying to change habits like drinking. More importantly, you'll learn science-backed strategies to interrupt this cycle and start moving forward Key Topics Covered:What is Rumination? Understanding how repetitive negative thinking traps us in unproductive loops.Why Do We Ruminate? Exploring how our brains are wired for survival and how modern-day emotional threats trigger overthinking.The Impact of Rumination: How chronic rumination fuels anxiety, depression, and stress, keeping us stuck in habits that don't serve us.Five Science-Backed Strategies to Stop Rumination:Switch from "Why" to "How": Move from self-criticism to solution-focused thinking.Purposeful Distraction: Engage your mind and body in meaningful activities to break negative loops.Practice Self-Compassion: Speak to yourself kindly and interrupt self-criticism.Set a Problem-Solving Time Limit: Contain overthinking with intentional time boundaries.Name It to Tame It: Label your thoughts to create distance and diminish their power.Actionable Challenge:This week, when you catch yourself spiraling into overthinking, visualize a big red stop sign. Pause, breathe, and ask yourself: What kind of thought is this? Then label it without judgment. This simple act is the first step toward lasting change.Resources Mentioned:

Self-criticism is NOT a good long-term motivation strategy. Let's talk about how to motivate yourself with self-compassion instead. Tune in to learn... Why you might be feeling de-motivated A technique called “10 WHYs” to find intrinsic motivators How to employ self-discipline (but not in the way that you think…) Tools to find and create motivation through a lens of SELF-LOVE Remember: You don't need to wait until you're perfectly motivated to start taking action. Imperfect, messy, reluctant action will often be enough to prove to yourself that you CAN do it, that you DO have it in you which creates a positive feedback loop. Micro steps matter. If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media! And make sure to get Mary's book, The Gift of Self-Love. It's a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. Mentioned In This Episode...  Self-Compassion Researcher Dr. Kristin Neff on Mary's Cup of Tea   The Mere Presence of One's Own Smartphone Reduces Available Cognitive Capacity Research Study

What you're about to hear is a 16-minute conversation generated by AI between a female and a male, discussing six specific episodes of my podcast. Here are the episodes that were included in the AI conversation: Why Self-Compassion is Essential for Every Parent's Mental Health with Kristin Neff, PhD 3 Ways to Prevent Parental Burnout with Kate Gawlik Are You a Controlling Parent? Here's What You Need to Know! How to Make Parenting Less Intense with Laura Froyen, PhD Parenting through Connection Instead of Coercion with Pam Leo The Harms of Gentle Parenting with Laura Froyen I'd love to hear your thoughts! Did you enjoy this episode? I value your feedback, and I'm eager to know what you think. Feel free to share your thoughts in the Authentic Parenting FB group and let me know if you found this AI experiment interesting! LINKS AND RESOURCES Support the podcast by making a donation (suggested amount $15) 732-763-2576 call to leave a voicemail.  info@authenticparenting.com Send audio messages using Speakpipe. Join the Authentic Parenting Community on Facebook. Work w/Anna. Listeners get 10% off her services. 

Feeling burned out? Join Dr. Kristen Neff as she guides us through a calming practice to bring kindness and support to ourselves during tough times.How to Do This Practice: Sit in a quiet, comfortable space, close your eyes if you wish, and take deep breaths to center yourself. Observe how you're feeling—physically and emotionally—without judgment. Acknowledge your struggle: This is hard. Burnout is a natural human response to stress. Offer yourself kindness. Imagine a compassionate voice saying: I'm here for you, you're doing your best, you're loved just as you are. Let these words fill you with warmth and calm. When ready, open your eyes and bring this renewed energy into your day. Today's Happiness Break Guide:Dr. Kristin Neff is an associate professor in the University of Texas at Austin's department of educational psychology. She's also the co-author of 'Mindful Self-Compassion for Burnout,' which offers tools to help individuals heal and recharge from burnout.More Happiness Breaks like this one:The Healing Power of Your Own Touch: https://tinyurl.com/y4ze59h8Take a Break With Our Loving-Kindness Meditation: https://tinyurl.com/2kr4fjz5We'd love to hear about your experience with this practice! Share your thoughts at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or use the hashtag #happinesspod.Find us on Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapHelp us share Happiness Break! Leave a 5-star review and share this link: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapTranscription: https://tinyurl.com/485y3b4y

In this updated episode, originally aired in Season Two, Amy is joined by Dr. Kristin Neff to discuss the generative power of anger, the danger of rote gender roles, and the radical power of self-compassion.Kristin Neff (she/her) received her doctorate from the University of California at Berkeley, and is currently an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin.During Kristin's last year of graduate school she became interested in Buddhism and has been practicing meditation in the Insight Meditation tradition ever since. While doing her post-doctoral work she decided to conduct research on self-compassion – a central construct in Buddhist psychology and one that had not yet been examined empirically. Kristin is a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, creating a scale to measure the construct almost 20 years ago. She has been recognized as one of the world's most influential research psychologists. In addition to writing numerous academic articles and book chapters on the topic, she is author of the book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, and her latest Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive.In conjunction with her colleague Dr. Chris Germer, she has developed an empirically supported training program called Mindful Self-Compassion, which is taught by thousands of teachers worldwide. They co-authored The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook as well as Teaching the Mindful Self-Compassion Program: A Guide for Professionals. She is also co-founder of the nonprofit Center for Mindful Self-Compassion.

Join Kristin Neff as she explores the transformative power of self-compassion in her latest book "Mindful Self-Compassion for Burnout." Kristin discusses practical ways to cultivate self-compassion in daily life, helping listeners navigate personal challenges and stress with greater ease and resilience. Discover how embracing self-compassion can lead to more authentic and fulfilling life experiences. Subscribe for ad-free interviews and bonus episodes https://plus.acast.com/s/the-unmistakable-creative-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Social anxiety is an interesting topic. Natasha Daniels is a social anxiety therapist and mom who joined us recently to discuss OCD and kids; today, we are exploring another form of anxiety as Natasha helps us understand social anxiety. She wrote a memoir, Out of My Shell, detailing her personal experience.  Show Highlights: Natasha's background, personal experience, and book about social anxiety The neuro-divergent affirming movement The difference between social anxiety and introversion Do we ALL have some degree of social anxiety? Thoughts on “bed rot,” social anxiety, and what's “normal” Social anxiety as a defense mechanism The isolation that comes with social anxiety OCD, social anxiety, and autism—a common connection? “A paralyzing fear of others' perceptions and a preoccupation with managing those perceptions” The difference between a defense mechanism and a personality trait An overview of Natasha's experience with social anxiety and why she wrote her book Social anxiety is NOT a self-esteem issue. Outsmarting the negative critic in your head Dr. Kristin Neff's concept of “fierce self-compassion,” which is “a feistiness of advocacy” Resources and Links: Future Fans:Helping little kids become BIG fans Connect with Natasha Daniels: Website (and book) and Instagram Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC's book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As a guy, the concept of compassion has little place in my life. Especially as an athlete, there was no value in compassion. You ignore any pain and keep going. It reminds me of the depiction of the army sergeant yelling at the soldier to suck it up and march on. As a culture, I think we still put more value on sucking it up and keeping going and being indifferent to ourselves, than having compassion. Though we miss that we can still keep going when the circumstances demand it, and have some needed compassion. Compassion is having concern for others and ourselves and the opposite of concern is indifference. I can't find value in indifference to self, in normal life, outside of maybe sports and the battlefield. Seven years ago I sat down and had a conversation with Dr. Kristin Neff about it. Kristin received her doctorate from the University of California at Berkeley, studying moral development. At the time she had done a TED talk with millions of views, and published a book, “Self Compassion”, The Proven Power of Being kind to yourself. I talked with her, as I perceived the value of self-compassion. But in truth, it's taken me a long time to let it actually integrate into my life. I wish I'd stuck with it then. But, better late than never. I spent some time recently discussing self-compassion with my own therapist, and am bringing this conversation back to benefit us both.  Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This conversation includes what turned Tara toward a path of compassion in her early life, the evolution of the RAIN practice to include nurturing/compassion, the spiritual dimensions of self-compassion, and the role of compassion in these current times. This was initially recorded live for those in Kristin's membership community and includes several question/responses. For more information about Kristin's community, visit SC.org.  

348. How to Quiet Your Inner Critic with Dr. Kristin Neff Dr. Kristin Neff shares the secret to self-compassion and how to lessen our inner critic's voice in order to build self-worth. Discover: -The 20-second daily practice you need to increase your self-compassion; -How to use your compassion for others as a template for how to treat yourself; -How to give your inner-critic a software update; and -The “fierce” self-compassion and what it has to do with drawing boundaries. On The Guest: Dr. Kristin Neff is an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, and co-founder of the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion. She is a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, conducting the first empirical studies on self-compassion more than twenty years ago. Kristin runs the Self-Compassion Community, an online learning platform where people can learn the skill of self-compassion with the help of others. She is author of the bestselling books Self-Compassion and Fierce Self-Compassion. She also co-wrote The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook and has a new book called Mindful Self-Compassion for Burnout coming out in Fall 2024. Order her latest book here: https://self-compassion.org/ To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices