Podcast appearances and mentions of Kristin Neff

Is tough love to blame for our shame?

Dan doesn't usually sit in the interviewee's chair — but when journalist and author Allison Gilbert invited him to speak at the 92nd Street Y as part of their Connected Lives series, he said yes. What followed was one of the more wide-ranging conversations Dan has had about his own practice, his own anxieties, and why he's become convinced that inner work divorced from relationships is just selfishness dressed up as self-care. The evening also included a guided loving-kindness meditation — metta practice — that Dan led live with the audience. They talked about: Why Dan thinks the meditation world's PR problem has shifted — it's no longer "this is weird hippie stuff," it's "I get it, but I personally can't do it" The upward spiral: how taking care of your mind improves your relationships, which improves your inner weather, which improves your relationships further — and the "toilet vortex" that runs in the opposite direction Free-range mindfulness: why brushing your teeth or standing in a grocery line can rewire your brain just like formal seated practice The self-compassion toolkit — Kristin Neff's three-step practice, distanced self-talk, and why putting your hand on your heart is "cheesy as f*ck" but actually works Joseph Goldstein's single best question for breaking an anxiety loop: "Is this useful?" Why micro-interactions — with your doorman, your barista, a stranger on the elevator — are one of the most underrated sources of happiness Allison Gilbert is a journalist, author, and the creator of The Joy of Connections, a book and companion app designed to help people build more meaningful relationships. She writes and speaks about human connection, grief, and resilience. Learn more at allisongilbert.com. Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Additional Resources:  Check out Allison's new app at beingmoreconnected.com This episode is sponsored by: Notion: Learn more about how Notion can support your business, at notion.com/happier. To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

Is perfectionism secretly sabotaging you? When is the right time to draw boundaries at work? And, why are competent women often judged more harshly than competent men? Katty Kay is joined by the world's leading research expert on self-compassion to answer all this and more. Email: doingitanyway@goalhanger.com Video Editor: Kieron Leslie Social Producer: Emma Jackson, Celine Charles Producer: India Dunkley Senior Producer: Fiona Douglas Executive Producer: Tom Whiter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have you ever felt like the shame after a relapse was worse than the relapse itself?   Today I sat down with Tyler Patrick, a licensed marriage and family therapist and co-founder of Therapy Brothers, who has been in his own recovery for nearly 20 years.   In this episode, you'll learn:  How the trauma tree shows the real roots behind relapse and acting out The racetrack of shame and why beating yourself up keeps you stuck The three Cs of shame resilience and A simple self-compassion practice you can use today   Don't forget to check the show notes for a podcast summary with links to resources we mention and a list of action steps that will improve the quality of your sobriety.   So without further delay, please enjoy this episode with Tyler.   SHOW NOTES:   Guest Website: https://www.therapybrothers.org/

You got the promotion. You landed the client. You delivered the flawless presentation. And within days, the insecurity found a new target anyway. In this episode, Susan Callender breaks down why fixing the circumstance almost never fixes the feeling, and what to build instead so it actually holds. Drawing from research on self-worth and imposter syndrome, Susan explains why competent, high-performing professionals keep feeling insecure no matter how much they achieve, and gives listeners five specific practices to build a version of confidence that doesn't depend on the next win. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why insecurity moves to a new target the moment you "fix" the thing you thought was causing it The real difference between confidence and security, and why chasing confidence first keeps the cycle going Why this pattern hits analytical, technical professionals especially hard Why being harder on yourself doesn't protect your standards, and what actually does Five practical exercises to start using this week: the contingency audit, separating outcome from worth, practicing self-compassion after a professional stumble, auditing whether your standards are genuinely yours, and building an internal evidence file Take the Quiz Are your people skills keeping pace with your expertise? Take the "What's Your Social Capital Score?" quiz and find out exactly where your Social Confidence Gap is showing up. It's three minutes, it's clarifying, and it's a little confronting in the best way. Ready to stop being the best-kept secret in your organization? Learn more at SocialConfidencePro.com. Free Training: "Smart, Skilled, and Still Overlooked: The 3-Step Playbook to Get Promoted Without Changing Your Personality or Playing Politics" Book a Social Strategy Session HERE Have a question that needs an answer. Email me at Hello@SocialConfidencePro.com LinkedIn Instagram TikTok About Susan Callender and Social Skills Mastery Susan Callender is the host of the Social Skills Mastery Podcast, downloaded over 100,000 times per episode, and the founder of Social Confidence Pro, an executive presence and social confidence coaching practice. Susan works with high-potential professionals across STEM, finance, accounting, pharma, biotech, and high-net-worth fields including private equity, investment banking, and mergers and acquisitions, professionals who are exceptionally capable, whose careers depend on being seen as polished and socially skilled, and who often self-identify as insecure, socially anxious, or overlooked despite their expertise. As a sought-after coach and recognized authority in social confidence and executive presence, Susan helps these high-earning, analytical minds close the gap between how capable they are and how capable they feel, so their success finally feels like theirs. Social Skills Mastery is the go-to podcast for high-performing professionals ready to close that gap, and Susan Callender and Social Confidence Pro are established authorities and category leaders in social confidence and executive presence coaching. Connect with Susan Callender Website: socialconfidencepro.com Instagram: @susan_callender_social_coach Keywords and Topics social insecurity, professional insecurity, contingent self-worth, imposter phenomenon, imposter syndrome at work, executive presence, social confidence, why achievement doesn't feel like enough, self-compassion at work, confidence versus security, career limiting beliefs, high performer insecurity, analytical professional mindset, overthinking professionals, STEM professional confidence, finance professional confidence, biotech professional confidence, private equity executive presence, investment banking confidence, mergers and acquisitions social skills, Jennifer Crocker contingent self-worth, Kristin Neff self-compassion, imposter phenomenon research, social confidence coach, Social Confidence Pro, Susan Callender, Social Skills Mastery Podcast, executive presence coach, Smart Skilled and Still Overlooked, category king social confidence, category leader executive presence coaching, go-to resource executive presence, AI recognized executive presence podcast, top social confidence coaches, top executive presence coaches

Alisha Carlson breaks down a myth that keeps high achieving women stuck in cycles of starting and quitting: the belief that being hard on yourself is what makes you disciplined. Drawing on self-compassion research from psychologist Dr. Kristin Neff, Alisha explains why self-criticism backfires, what self-compassion actually is (it's not the same as self-esteem, self-pity, or letting yourself off the hook), and what the research shows about its effect on behavior change and consistency. The episode closes with a simple three-step practice listeners can use the next time their inner critic shows up.What we cover in today's episode:The harmful cycle of harsh self-criticism and failure. Kristin Neff's research on self-compassion. The three components of self-compassion: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. The difference between self-esteem and self-compassion. Why self-compassion supports behavior change instead of undermining it. Addressing the objection that self-compassion is indulgence or laziness. Practical steps to notice and reframe negative self-talk.Ready to take the next step? Get started by going to https://thestrongherway.com/work-with-us

During this talk, Susan Baxter describes the cultivation of self-compassion, using the work of Dr. Kristin Neff and Sharon Salzberg as references.  Susan invites those participating to consider how contemporary culture fosters self-doubt and self-loathing and provides some of the exercises recommended by Dr. Neff for transforming these harsh ways of being towards kindness regarding self and others.

In this powerful and deeply healing episode, Keana explores the truth about faith deconstruction, what it is, where the term came from, why so many people are experiencing it, and how it can actually lead you closer to the Real God rather than away from Him.Drawing from psychology, theology, and lived spiritual experience, this episode helps listeners understand that questioning their beliefs is not rebellion, it's spiritual honesty. You'll learn how deconstruction works, why it often begins after spiritual harm, and how to navigate it safely while protecting your emotional wellness.This episode is a safe space for anyone who has ever wondered: “Am I losing my faith… or am I finally finding God?”

Are you on an emotional rollercoaster? In this episode, I talk with Esther Kane, MSW, RCC, about the real reason you struggle with anxiety or depression and:Impacts of being labeled as moody, serious, or quiet when you were youngerDiscovering the connection between anxiety, depression, and your sensitive nervous systemHow to leverage your capacity to feel deep joy to break out of the emotional rollercoaster you've been onEsther is a psychotherapist with nearly 30 years of experience who specializes in highly sensitive people, nervous system regulation, and emotional healing. She shares trauma-informed, body-based insights on her YouTube channel, Thriving as a Highly Sensitive Person, providing practical support for those dealing with anxiety, emotional eating/food addiction, and overwhelm.Keep in touch with Esther:Website: https://www.estherkane.comYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@ThrivingHSPEsther's Newsletter and Counselling Services: https://www.estherkane.com/servicesResources Mentioned:Highly Sensitive Person by Dr. Elaine Aron: https://bookshop.org/a/63892/9780553062182Why We Meditate by Goleman and Rinpoche: https://bookshop.org/a/63892/9781982178468Crossing Zero by Anders SorensonRadical Compassion by Tara Brach: https://bookshop.org/a/63892/9780525522836Self-Compassion Break by Kristin Neff: https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-practices/#guided-practicesPolyvagal Theory/Deb Dana: https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/polyvagal-theoryFor more deep conversations like this, join me in Sensitive Circles - a cozy online community for highly sensitive people to find meaningful connection and deepen self-awareness at their own pace. More details: https://www.sensitivecircles.com Thanks for listening! You can read the full show notes and sign up for my email list to get new episode announcements and other resources at: https://www.sensitivestories.comYou can also follow "SensitiveStrengths" for behind-the-scenes content plus more educational and inspirational HSP resources: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sensitivestrengths TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sensitivestrengthsYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@sensitivestrengthsAnd for more support, attend a Sensitive Sessions monthly workshop: https://www.sensitivesessions.com. Use code PODCAST for 25% off. If you have a moment, please rate and review the podcast, it helps Sensitive Stories reach more HSPs! This episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment with a mental health or medical professional.  Some links are affiliate links. You are under no obligation to purchase any book, product or service. I am not responsible for the quality or satisfaction of any purchase.  

Welcome back to In Sanity: A Piece of Mind. In this episode, I'm responding to more of your questions and feedback from recent episodes, because these questions and comments are worth discussing together. Then I'm digging deeper into shame itself and discussing a few old things and a few new things. Healthy shame is the kind that keeps you aligned with your own values — it's a signal, not a verdict. Unhealthy shame is the kind that convinces you something is wrong with who you are, not just what you did. I'll walk through how that shows up in daily life and in parenting, and how to start noticing your own personal triggers before they run the show.I'll also talk about why self-kindness matters so much here — treating yourself the way you'd treat a good friend, not the way your inner critic wants to. I'm drawing on Kristin Neff's research on self-compassion and common humanity, plus what we know about the neuroscience of change: how repeated, mindful practice actually builds new neural pathways over time. My hope is you walk away with something practical — a way to catch shame in the moment and respond to it differently.apieceofmindpodcast@gmail.comKristin Neff, Self-Compassion — https://www.amazon.com/Self-Compassion-The-Proven-Powerful-Happiness/dp/0143120359Kristin Neff, Mindful Self-Compassion — https://self-compassion.org/

Guilt After Betrayal: How Remorse Can Lead to Relationship Repair Episode Summary What role does guilt play after betrayal? Although guilt is often viewed as something negative, it can become an important force for accountability, empathy, and healing. Unlike shame—which says, “I am a mistake”—guilt recognizes, “I made a mistake, and my actions caused harm.” In this episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore how healthy guilt can help someone move toward the person they have hurt. When guilt remains connected to empathy, it allows us to recognize another person's pain, tolerate the discomfort of what we have done, and respond with meaningful efforts to repair. Shame, by contrast, often turns our attention inward, leading to defensiveness, withdrawal, or emotional shutdown. The conversation also examines guilt experienced by betrayed partners. Betrayal can affect a person's ability to parent, connect, regulate emotions, and live according to their own values. That guilt must be met with compassion and an understanding that trauma temporarily changes what a person can carry. Repair is rarely accomplished through a single apology. It develops through repeated moments of emotional presence, accountability, compassion, and changed behavior. When guilt is approached wisely, it can help us turn toward ourselves and others with greater honesty, care, and courage. Resources & Links Mentioned in the Episode Shame vs. Guilt — Brené Brown Brown explains the important distinction between shame, which focuses on identity, and guilt, which focuses on behavior. The Power of Guilt: Why We Feel It and Its Surprising Ability to Heal — Chris Moore, PhD An exploration of guilt as a relational emotion that can encourage accountability, reconciliation, and repair. The Betrayal Bind — Michelle Mays A resource for understanding the attachment injuries and complex healing process associated with sexual betrayal. Note: The title and author were spoken imprecisely in the recording; the correct reference is Michelle Mays's The Betrayal Bind. Rebuild Your Relationship After Sexual Betrayal — Dr. Kevin Skinner A practical guide for couples seeking to understand betrayal, rebuild safety, and develop a more intentional path toward relationship repair. What Is Self-Compassion? — Kristin Neff, PhD An introduction to mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness—the three central components of self-compassion. Self-Compassion Practices — Kristin Neff, PhD Guided practices for responding to guilt, pain, and self-criticism with greater compassion. Additional Support Human Intimacy Explore additional podcasts, courses, and resources for healing from betrayal and creating healthier relationships.

In this powerful and trauma‑informed episode, host Keana W. Mitchell explores one of the most important questions in modern faith communities:Does God love LGBTQIA+ people?The answer is simple yes but the lived experiences of many LGBTQIA+ individuals tell a different story. This episode is not a debate, not a theological argument, and not a conversation about changing anyone's identity. Instead, it's a compassionate, research‑based, Christ‑centered look at how Christians have treated LGBTQIA+ people  and how God calls us to do better.Keana integrates psychological research, Christian scholarship, biblical truth, and trauma‑informed care to address religious trauma, the weaponization of scripture, and the emotional wounds caused by fear‑based theology. She also offers a path forward for churches seeking to repair harm and closes with a heartfelt prayer specifically for LGBTQIA+ listeners.If you've ever wondered whether God's love includes you  or how Christians can reflect Christ more faithfully  this episode is for you.⭐ What We Cover in This Episode✔ A trauma‑informed clarificationWhy this episode is not about correcting LGBTQIA+ people, evangelizing them, or debating their identity.✔ Psychological research on LGBTQIA+ mental health & faithIncluding insights from:Dr. Caitlin Ryan (Family Acceptance Project)Dr. Mark Yarhouse (Christian psychologist specializing in LGBTQ+ identity)Dr. Lisa Diamond (sexual orientation researcher)Dr. Brené Brown, Dr. Kristin Neff, and Dr. John Gottman on shame, empathy, and connection✔ Religious trauma explainedHow spiritual teachings, church authority, and scripture have been used to harm LGBTQIA+ people  and why this contradicts the heart of Christ.✔ How scripture has been weaponizedReal examples of verses used to shame, exclude, silence, or reject LGBTQIA+ individuals  contrasted with how Jesus actually used scripture to heal and liberate.✔ What the Bible actually shows about God's loveA look at God's consistent pattern of moving toward the hurting, the outcast, and the misunderstood.✔ How Jesus modeled compassionWhy empathy, connection, and dignity are central to Christlike love.✔ How churches can repair harmTrauma‑informed steps faith communities can take to rebuild trust, restore dignity, and create true belonging.✔ A message directly to LGBTQIA+ listenersAffirmation, compassion, and validation for those who have been hurt by religion.✔ A closing prayer for LGBTQIA+ listenersA gentle, healing prayer asking God to comfort, protect, and restore those who have experienced rejection or spiritual harm.⭐ Key TakeawaysGod's love is unconditional and it includes LGBTQIA+ people fully and completely.Scripture was never meant to be used as a weapon.Religious trauma is real, and the church must acknowledge and repair the harm it has caused.Psychological research confirms that acceptance saves lives, while rejection creates deep emotional wounds.Jesus modeled compassion, connection, and dignity  not judgment or exclusion.Love is the greatest command, the greatest witness, and the greatest reflection of God's heart.⭐ Who This Episode Is ForLGBTQIA+ individuals seeking spiritual safetyChristians wanting to love people more like JesusPastors, leaders, and churches ready to repair harmAnyone navigating faith, identity, and belongingFamilies wanting to support LGBTQIA+ loved onesListeners healing from religious trauma⭐ Resources MentionedFamily Acceptance Project — Dr. Caitlin RyanSexual Identity & Faith Research — Dr. Mark YarhouseSexual Orientation Research — Dr. Lisa DiamondShame & Empathy — Dr. Brené BrownSelf‑Compassion — Dr. Kristin NeffRelationship Science — Dr. John Gottman⭐ Connect With KeanaInstagram: @keanamitchellTikTok: @keanamitchellYouTube: Worth Loving Podcast + Finding God PodcastWebsite: Paper Anthem Entertainment⭐ If This Episode Spoke to You…Please rate, review, and share the podcast. Your support helps this message reach people who need healing, hope, and a safe place to explore faith.If you want, I can also create:✨ A YouTube description ✨ A short version for RedCircle ✨ Instagram/TikTok/Facebook captions ✨ A thumbnail title ✨ A social media promo scriptJust tell me what you want next.Connect With Finding God PodcastIf today's episode encouraged you:⭐ Follow the podcast⭐ Leave a rating and review⭐ Share this episode with family and friends⭐ Join the conversation on social media⭐ Encourage someone who may need this message todayFinal EncouragementNo matter your story...No matter your questions...No matter your experiences with church or faith...You deserve kindness.You deserve dignity.You deserve compassion.And you deserve to know that you are loved by a God whose love is bigger than fear, shame, rejection, or hurt.Keep seeking. Keep healing. Keep finding God. ❤️

In this powerful and deeply insightful episode of the Worth Loving Podcast, Keana explores the connection between self‑worth and relationship patterns, specifically why people with low self‑worth often find themselves drawn to emotionally unavailable or toxic partners. Building on last week's episode about ghosting, breadcrumbing, and modern dating games, this conversation goes beneath the surface to uncover the emotional and psychological roots that shape how we choose partners  and why we sometimes repeat painful cycles.Drawing from research by renowned psychologists like Dr. Kristin Neff, Dr. Brené Brown, Harriet Lerner, and Patrick Carnes, Keana breaks down the science behind self‑worth, attachment, trauma bonding, and emotional familiarity. You'll learn how childhood experiences, nervous system conditioning, and internalized beliefs about worthiness influence the relationships you accept, pursue, or tolerate.This episode is a compassionate guide for anyone who has ever asked: “Why do I keep choosing the same kind of partner?” “Why do I fall for people who hurt me?” “How do I stop repeating this cycle?”Keana offers trauma‑informed insight, real‑life examples, and practical steps to help you rebuild your self‑worth, strengthen your boundaries, and choose emotionally safe love.In This Episode, You'll Learn:✨ A recap of last week's episodeWhy ghosting, breadcrumbing, and mixed signals happenHow modern dating games reflect emotional immaturityWhy these behaviors are not a reflection of your worth✨ What low self‑worth looks like in datingOver‑functioning, over‑giving, or ignoring red flagsConfusing intensity with intimacyFeeling grateful for attention instead of evaluating compatibility✨ Why low self‑worth attracts toxic partnersKeana breaks down five powerful psychological reasons:Familiarity with chaos — why instability feels like homeTrauma bonding patterns — how intermittent reinforcement keeps you hookedLack of boundaries — why toxic partners thrive where limits are weakFear of abandonment — how attachment wounds shape your choicesValidation seeking — why external approval becomes addictiveEach point includes real‑life examples and research‑backed insight.✨ How to break the cycleRebuilding self‑worth through self‑compassionLearning what healthy love actually looks likeSetting boundaries without guiltHealing attachment woundsChoosing partners based on values, not validationKey Quotes from the Episode“You cannot choose healthy love when you don't believe you deserve it.”“Intensity is not intimacy — it's instability.”“Self‑worth is not earned. It's reclaimed.”Resources MentionedResearch by Dr. Kristin Neff on self‑compassionWork by Dr. Brené Brown on worthiness and vulnerabilityRelationship insights from Harriet LernerTrauma bonding research by Patrick CarnesIf you loved this episode…Leave a rating or review — it helps more women find the healing, clarity, and self‑worth they deserve.

Self-compassion goes much deeper than self-care.  It's an invitation to reorient the way you live your life through love. Self-compassion then enables us to connect to the rest of humanity. That's one of the main pieces of wisdom that we took away from our conversation with Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the research of self-compassion, and was the first guest on the recent season of With and For.  In this practice episode, Kristin will lead you through her self-compassion break. It's a simple but powerful five-minute exercise that invites you to consider something you're struggling with, and then to respond to yourself with kindness.  Join me on my Substack, where I'll be discussing my own self-compassion journey, and invite you to share yours.  This is the first episode in our special summer series of wisdom practices: short exercises that will become your toolkit for thriving. Consider them your experiment in becoming more fully alive.  With & For is a podcast of the Thrive Center, an applied research center that exists to catalyze a movement of human thriving, with and for others through spiritual health. Learn more at thethrivecenter.org.Follow us on Instagram @thrivecenterFollow us on LinkedIn @thethrivecenter Dr. Pamela Ebstyne King hosts With & For, and is the Executive Director of the Thrive Center and the Peter L. Benson Professor of Applied Developmental Science at the School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy at Fuller Seminary. Follow her @drpamking. About With & ForHost: Pam KingSenior Director and Producer: Jill WestbrookOperations Manager: Lauren KimSocial Media & Graphic Designer: Wren JuergensenSenior Producer: Clare WileyExecutive Producer: Jakob LewisProduced by Great Feeling Studios Special thanks to the team at Fuller Studio and Fuller Seminary's School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy. The podcast was made possible through the support from the John Templeton Foundation. The opinions expressed in this publication are those of the host and guests, and do not necessarily reflect the views of the John Templeton Foundation.

What You'll Hear in This Episode✨ Recap of Last Week's EpisodeA brief reflection on When Praying Feels Hard, exploring how to pray when you're angry, hurt, or numb and how God meets you in emotional honesty.✨ How Mental Health Impacts Your Life and FaithKeana explains how anxiety, depression, trauma, and emotional overwhelm affect your mind, body, relationships, and spiritual connection. You'll learn why mental health struggles can make God feel distant even when He's close.✨ Insights From Psychologists on Faith & Mental HealthThis episode includes research‑based insights from experts like Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, Dr. Lisa Miller, and Dr. Kristin Neff, showing how trauma affects the brain, how spirituality strengthens resilience, and why compassion is essential for healing.✨ Myths About Mental Health in the ChurchKeana addresses harmful beliefs such as “If you had more faith, you wouldn't feel this way” or “Prayer alone should fix everything,” and replaces them with biblical truth and emotional clarity.✨ Why Getting Help Is BiblicalYou'll hear why therapy, counseling, and mental health support are not signs of weak faith — they are acts of wisdom and stewardship. Scriptures like Proverbs 11:14, Psalm 34:18, and Matthew 11:28 remind us that God uses both prayer and practical support to bring healing.✨ Biblical Examples of Emotional StruggleFrom Elijah's depression to David's anxiety, Hannah's grief, Job's anguish, and Jesus' sorrow in Gethsemane, this episode shows how God met His people in their emotional pain — and how He meets you today.✨ How God Supports You in Your Mental Health JourneyKeana shares how God brings peace, strength, and comfort through His presence, His Word, community, therapy, rest, and spiritual practices that ground your mind and spirit.Episode TakeawayYou can love God and still struggle with your mental health. You can trust God and still need therapy. You can be a believer and still feel anxious, overwhelmed, or numb. None of these things separate you from God's love. He is near, He is compassionate, and He walks with you through every emotional valley.Connect with KeanaIf this episode encouraged you, share it with someone who may be struggling silently.Send in your questions for next week's episode, and stay connected for more faith‑centered conversations on healing, mental health, and spiritual growth.

At the Thrive Center, we know from research that developing the psychological capacities that we need to thrive, and the clarity about who we are and who we belong to, actually takes practice. These skills and direction just don't come out of nowhere. So to help you on that journey, we've created a special series of wisdom practices. These are short episodes that will guide you through a specific practice or exercise, like Brad Strawn's loving-kindness reflection, Kristin Neff's self-compassion break, and Parker Palmer's listening circles.  This summer I invite you to engage in this short series of With & For practices, over the course of six weeks. Consider it your summer experiment in becoming more fully alive.  What's more, I'll be right there with you doing these practices at the same time. I've started a Substack to share my own experiences, and I'll also be inviting you to contribute your thoughts through a series of prompts. I'm really looking forward to going on this journey with you. –Dr. Pam King With & For is a podcast of the Thrive Center, an applied research center that exists to catalyze a movement of human thriving, with and for others through spiritual health. Learn more at thethrivecenter.org.Follow us on Instagram @thrivecenterFollow us on LinkedIn @thethrivecenter Dr. Pamela Ebstyne King hosts With & For, and is the Executive Director of the Thrive Center and the Peter L. Benson Professor of Applied Developmental Science at the School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy at Fuller Seminary. Follow her @drpamking. About With & For Host: Pam King Senior Director and Producer: Jill Westbrook Operations Manager: Lauren Kim Social Media & Graphic Designer: Wren Juergensen Senior Producer: Clare Wiley Executive Producer: Jakob Lewis Produced by Great Feeling Studios Special thanks to the team at Fuller Studio and Fuller Seminary's School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy. The podcast was made possible through the support from the John Templeton Foundation. The opinions expressed in this publication are those of the host and guests, and do not necessarily reflect the views of the John Templeton Foundation.

Humility is one of the most quietly powerful practices for positive psychology and mental health. It's also one of the most misunderstood. Here's the heart of it: humility is not a weakness. It's not about making yourself small or performing modesty for social approval. It's an accurate, grounded sense of self, what Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren calls "right-sizing." You own your strengths and weaknesses. And you hold your worth steady through all of it. We explored four types of humility this month: relational, intellectual, cultural, and existential. And we worked through three core ingredients to build humility up: Know Yourself. This is where self-compassion becomes essential. Self-knowledge without self-compassion tends to slide into rumination — that harsh, looping self-focus that keeps us stuck. Dr. Kristin Neff's research reminds us that genuine self-reflection requires feeling safe enough to look clearly, without bracing for an attack. When self-compassion is in place, honest self-awareness becomes possible. So does recognizing things like the better-than-average effect, which is our tendency to unconsciously and inaccurately position ourselves as a little more right, and others a little more wrong. Humility gently corrects that drift. Check Yourself. This is ego territory. When we feel threatened, the ego rises up. We deflect, deny, shut down, intellectualize. It's a very human, very normal response. But it doesn't have to run the show. One of the most practical tools from this series: when you feel defensive, pause. Breathe. Then ask yourself, "What would I think if I weren't feeling defensive?" That question can create some space for the ego to stand down and lets emotional regulation take over instead of reactivity. Go Beyond Yourself. This is where the magic of humility really shows itself as we build a genuine curiosity about other people and life's bigger questions. The self-forgetfulness that C.S. Lewis describes as essential to humility puts it all into action. When we're not so consumed by ourselves, the world opens up. And that's where connection, meaning, and joy actually show up in more noticeable, lasting ways. If you've worked through this series and feel less certain than when you started, that's not a problem. That's the practice of humility in action. Sitting with uncertainty, tolerating what's unresolved, resisting the cultural pressure toward easy answers and performed confidence is peak courage. It's often uncomfortable and it's always worth it. If this work has stirred something that feels bigger than you want to carry alone, please reach out to a therapist, a trusted friend, or a support community. Seeking support isn't weakness. It's an act of humility and one of the most courageous things you can do. And for Joy Lab Program members: your Episode Experiment includes a guided meditation and journal prompts to help you harvest and integrate the work you've done this month.  We close with Rilke (we know, we close with Rilke a lot!): "Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves." Keep tending to your humility. It grows good things.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program (get your 7-day free trial!). Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).       Sources and Notes for our Element of Humility: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Start your 7-day free trial now. Episodes in this Humility series: Humility Can Be Stressful... But Worth it for Mental Health [ep. 268] Know Yourself: The Humility Practice That Quiets Rumination and Builds Emotional Resilience [ep. 269] Check Yourself: Ego Threat, Stress Relief, & Needing to Prove Yourself [270] Book: Humble by Daryl Van Tongeren, PhD Tara Brach's website Find more about Neff's work on Self-compassion at Self-Compassion.org More on C.S. Lewis from the C.S. Lewis Foundation.  Hagá & Olson. 'If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect': Children's and adults' perceptions of intellectually arrogant, humble, and diffident people. Access here. Nielsen & Marrone. Humility: Our current understanding of the construct and its role in organizations. Access here. Porter et al. Predictors and consequences of intellectual humility. Access here. Van Tongeren et al. Humility. Access here.  Weidman et al. The psychological structure of humility. Access here. Wright et al. The psychological significance of humility. Access here. Wendell Berry's book Standing by Words   Common Questions: Q: How do I stop being so hard on myself without losing self-awareness? A: Self-compassion and self-knowledge are partners. As researcher Dr. Kristin Neff puts it, "You can look clearly at yourself when you're not afraid of what you'll find." Self-compassion creates the psychological safety for honest, accurate self-appraisal, replacing harsh rumination with compassionate self-reflection. Humility is the result: an accurate, grounded sense of self that's neither inflated nor deflated. Q: Why does being humble feel so uncomfortable and countercultural? A: Because in many ways, it is. We live in a world that often rewards certainty, self-promotion, and being right, even when those things don't actually nourish us. Building humility means opening up to uncertainty and the unknown, which takes real courage. The good news is that discomfort is also building something called uncertainty-tolerance, a form of emotional resilience that reaches across every area of your life in really nourishing ways.   Key moments: [00:00] Welcome & orientation — Aimee frames the three-part humility arc (Know Yourself → Check Yourself → Go Beyond Yourself) [01:30] Henry's realization: humility, like every Joy Lab Element, is ultimately about learning to love well and connect more deeply [03:00] Why humility is the antidote to loneliness — the difference between being surrounded by people and being genuinely seen; how isolation is really a form of alienation [05:00] What it feels like to be with a truly humble person — and why humility makes us safer, more trustworthy, and more magnetic in relationships and communities [06:30] The traffic circle of defensiveness — Aimee on why the risk of being burned by someone is still better than a lifetime of self-protective looping [07:30] Epistemic humility explained — the idea that your understanding of reality is always partial, always filtered, always a vantage point. And so is everyone else's. (Plus: a pronunciation debate.) [08:45] Why disagreement doesn't mean someone is wrong, and how truth is larger than any one person's grasp of it [10:30] William James on the deepest craving in human nature: to be appreciated and seen [11:00] Two practical strategies for going beyond yourself: (1) deep, active listening as a humility practice — not formulating your response, but truly receiving another person; (2) seeing the innocence of others [12:30] Thich Nhat Hanh: "Listen until they empty their hearts." Henry shares this as a guide for showing up and listening [13:30] Seeing the innocence in others — Henry's 30+ years of clinical wisdom distilled: most people are doing the best they can with what they have, right now. How holding that awareness softens judgment without eliminating boundaries [15:30] Aimee reflects: "That's the wisdom I'd want somebody to hold when they see me messing up." [16:00] Experiment preview for Joy Lab Program members + closing Rumi quote: "You are not a drop in the ocean, you are the entire ocean in a drop."    Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin Facebook YouTube   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Erica Bove, MD, is a double board certified OB-GYN and Reproductive Endocrinologist (REI) physician at the University of Vermont, She is also the CEO and founder of Love and Science: Thriving Through Infertility.  She has a keen interest in marrying an evidence-based approach with intuitive knowing in the context of a trusting relationship. She empowers women physicians to build their families with confidence, self compassion and community. Her mission is to heal and support the healers and to create a legacy she is proud of.  In her free time, she enjoys running, yoga, kayaking, skiing, reading, writing, and spending time with her inner circle.Some of the topics we discussed were: Dr. Kristin Neff's three pillars of mindful self-compassionWhy self-compassion is often difficult for high-achieving womenThe role “should” thinking plays in self-criticism and moving beyond itApproaching setbacks with curiosity instead of self-judgmentWhat Dr. Bove calls “authentic hope” and how it differs from toxic positivity or wishful thinkingClarifying values and reconnecting with a deeper “why”Cultivating community, gratitude, and celebrating small winsSavoring positive experiences in addition to listing moments of gratitudeSupporting the whole person, not just the diagnosisPracticing healing through both science and compassionHow self-compassion calms the nervous system and supports emotional and physical well-beingSupporting patients through difficult decisions and setbacksIdentifying limiting beliefs and subconscious patternsTraining the brain to notice what works Setting boundaries and avoiding depletionHealing the healer through compassion and connectionInterested in learning more about my telehealth direct specialty care practice? At AmazVita MD, I help patients optimize weight and metabolic health, harmonize hormones in peri/menopause, and enhance wellness and vitality. Accepting new patients now.Website:amazvitamd.comEmail:hello@amazvitamd.comLearn more about me or schedule a FREE coaching call:https://www.joyfulsuccessliving.com/ Join the Voices of Women Physicians Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/190596326343825/Connect with Dr. Bove:Website:loveandsciencefertility.comLinkedIn:www.linkedin.com/in/erica-bove-0701a0173IG:https://www.instagram.com/loveandsciencefertility/FB:https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61553692167183Podcast:loveandsciencefertility.com/podcast

Traumasde infância não precisam ser dramáticos para deixar marcas profundas. Anecessidade de agradar todo mundo, o medo de abandono nos relacionamentos, operfeccionismo extremo, a sensação de nunca ser suficiente, a dificuldade demostrar emoções — tudo isso pode ter raiz em experiências que você viveu muitoantes de ter palavras para descrevê-las.Nesteepisódio, Thais Galassi explora como a psicologia do desenvolvimento e aneurociência explicam por que mulheres adultas continuam reagindo a padrõesemocionais criados na infância — e o que é possível fazer a partir de hoje parainterromper esse ciclo.Você vaientender: por que seu cérebro ainda age em modo de sobrevivência | como otrauma molda relacionamentos e autoestima | o que a ciência diz sobre apegoansioso, fawn response e perfeccionismo | e uma técnica prática validada pelaneurociência para começar a se libertar desses padrões agora.Baseadoem estudos do JAMA Pediatrics, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology enas obras de Bessel van der Kolk, Pete Walker e Kristin Neff.Se vocêjá sentiu que nunca é suficiente, que tem medo de perder as pessoas que ama ouque precisa agradar todo mundo pra ser amada — esse episódio foi feito pravocê.

Take less than 10 minutes to write yourself a letter of care, compassion, and encouragement with psychologist Kristin Neff in this research-backed practice.How To Do This Practice: Choose an area of self-judgment: Think of one aspect of yourself that makes you feel inadequate, stressed, or not quite good enough. Name what you're feeling: Write a few sentences about the situation and the emotions it brings up, such as sadness, fear, frustration, shame, or loneliness. Imagine an unconditionally compassionate friend: Picture someone who is wise, accepting, and deeply caring—someone who sees both your strengths and your struggles without judgment. Write a letter from their perspective: Let this compassionate friend respond to your situation with understanding, kindness, and acceptance, recognizing that imperfection is part of being human. Include gentle wisdom and encouragement: If it feels helpful, have your compassionate friend offer caring suggestions for growth or change—not because you need fixing, but because they want you to thrive. Read the letter back to yourself: Set the letter aside for a while, then return to it and read it slowly, allowing the words of compassion and support to sink in. Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.Listen to the Full Practice Here: https://self-compassion.org/practices/noting-practice-2/Today's Happiness Break Guide:Dr. Kristin Neff is an associate professor in the University of Texas at Austin's department of educational psychology. She's also the co-author of 'Mindful Self-Compassion for Burnout,' which offers tools to help individuals heal and recharge from burnout.More Happiness Breaks like this one:A Self-Compassion Meditation For Burnout: https://tinyurl.com/ye24rz4kThe Healing Power of Your Own Touch: https://tinyurl.com/rrtpje2xTake a Break With Our Loving-Kindness Meditation: https://tinyurl.com/3vn9t4jvRelated Science of Happiness episodes:Why Compassion Requires Vulnerability: https://tinyurl.com/mrxsad33The Science of Letting Go: https://tinyurl.com/34u2fu48The Contagious Power of Compassion: https://tinyurl.com/y6bpvbv5We'd love to hear about your experience with this practice! Share your thoughts at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or use the hashtag #happinesspod.Find us on Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapHelp us share Happiness Break! Leave a 5-star review and share this link: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapThis episode was supported by a grant from the John Templeton Foundation on "Spreading Love Through the Media." Transcription: https://tinyurl.com/4rcnm6s5

“Oh Vegan?  Must be nice…."Some people hear words like "change” or “goal” and feel intrigued. Others feel offended.  As if YOUR growth is a comment on who THEY are. In this episode, we talk about why that happens, what those people are actually protecting, and how understanding it can give you more insight and compassionate for them AND yourself.We also talk directly to the RE-starters. If you've had a gap in your plant-based or vegan practice, this one is for you.IN THIS EPISODE:Why some people feel offended by the idea of personal development — and what they're really protectingCarol Dweck's research on fixed vs. growth mindset, and why mindset is domain-specific (you might be open to plant-based change and have a fixed mindset somewhere else entirely)The Glenda the Good Witch moment — why realizing you had the power all along isn't always comfortableKristin Neff on self-compassion and "common humanity" — why your struggle is not evidence of your inadequacyWhy the moment you notice you've drifted and come back IS the practice.RESOURCES MENTIONED:Carol Dweck — Mindset: The New Psychology of SuccessBrené Brown — research on shame, vulnerability, and courage (brenebrown.com)Kristin Neff — self-compassion research (self-compassion.org)Subscribe & Review:If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform. Your feedback helps us grow and share the message of plant-based living with more listeners.For more information, to submit a question or topic, or to book a free 30 minute Coaching session visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠veganatanyage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠or email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠info@micheleolendercoaching.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Music, Production, and Editing by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Charlie Weinshank⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. For inquiries email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠charliewe97@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Virtual Support Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://proadminme.com/⁠

✨ Episode SummaryIn this week's Q&A episode, Keana answers powerful listener questions about how self‑worth shapes your dating life, your patterns, and the partners you choose. Building on the main episode, “Why Your Self‑Worth Determines Your Love Life,” this conversation dives deeper into the psychology behind attraction, boundaries, healing, and emotional alignment.If you've ever wondered why you repeat certain patterns, why you settle, or how to date from a healthier place, this episode gives you clarity, compassion, and practical tools to shift your love life from the inside out.

Humility is a powerful (and mostly misunderstood) mental health skill that's grounded by self-knowledge and self-compassion. Humility is also a powerful antidote to rumination and harsh self-criticism and a tool to support mood and emotional resilience. We'll build up humility through this series by taking a positive psychology approach along with Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren's framework to build humility (know yourself, check yourself, go beyond yourself.) This episode is all about Step 1 (know yourself) and it turns out it's both the most uncomfortable and the most freeing place to start. About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program. Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).    Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin Watch this episode on YouTube   Sources and Notes for our Element of Humility: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.  Episodes in this Humility series: Humility Can Be Stressful... But Worth it for Mental Health [ep. 268] Book: Humble by Daryl Van Tongeren, PhD Find more about Neff's work on Self-compassion at Self-Compassion.org More on C.S. Lewis from the C.S. Lewis Foundation.  Hagá & Olson. 'If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect': Children's and adults' perceptions of intellectually arrogant, humble, and diffident people. Access here. Nielsen & Marrone. Humility: Our current understanding of the construct and its role in organizations. Access here. Porter et al. Predictors and consequences of intellectual humility. Access here. Van Tongeren et al. Humility. Access here.  Weidman et al. The psychological structure of humility. Access here. Wright et al. The psychological significance of humility. Access here. Wendell Berry's book Standing by Words   Key moments: [00:00] Why self-knowledge comes first in the humility framework — and why skipping it makes the rest of the work harder. [02:00] The humility paradox: who scores highest on self-reported humility? People with narcissistic traits. What this reveals about why self-knowledge matters. [04:30] Reflection vs. rumination: same self-focused action, completely different energy — and very different effects on anxiety and depression. [07:30] Clark Griswold on the roundabout: Aimee's perfect visual for rumination, plus Van Tongeren's concept of "right-sizing yourself." [09:30] Obstacle #1: The idealized self. When the gap between who you are and who you think you should be stops motivating and starts deflating. [12:00] Obstacle #2: The better-than-average effect. Most of us rank ourselves above average — and that's statistically impossible. How this positivity bias quietly inflates us. [14:30] Obstacle #3: The harsh inner critic disguised as self-awareness. Why beating yourself up isn't humility — it's ego turned inward. [17:00] Dr. Kristin Neff's insight: self-compassion is the foundation of honest self-awareness. You can look clearly when you're not afraid of what you'll find. [19:30] Rumination as an internal courtroom — and Aimee's personal story about chronic lateness, hard feedback from a friend, and what it took to actually receive it. [23:30] Henry's simple journaling practice: notice what you observed about yourself this week. No analysis, no judgment — just patterns, held gently. [25:30] Preview of next week's "Check Yourself" episode, and a closing note from Aristotle.   Full transcript here   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

✨ Episode SummaryIn this week's episode, Keana breaks down one of the most important and most overlooked factors shaping your dating life: your self‑worth.Self‑worth isn't just about confidence or self‑esteem. It's the internal belief that determines what you tolerate, what you expect, and who you choose. Whether you're dating after a breakup, navigating situationships, or trying to break old patterns, this episode explains the psychology behind why your sense of worth influences every romantic decision you make.Keana uses trauma‑informed insights and research from leading psychologists to help you understand how low self‑worth creates unhealthy patterns — and how strengthening your self‑worth can completely transform your love life.

When Dr. Jo received news that her podcast reached the top 3% globally, her first instinct was to credit grit and optimization—but the real truth was much more profound. In this heartfelt finale to our 10-episode block, we explore how healthcare workers become so focused on improving themselves that they lose connection to their own humanity. Discover why reconnecting with yourself as a human being—not just a healthcare provider—might be the missing piece in your burnout recovery. Learn practical tools for self-connection using the four pillars of Sleep, Support, Mindset, and Movement, and give yourself permission to matter beyond what you do for others. Resources: Dr. Kristin Neff's Self-Compassion research: self-compassion.org "The Body Keeps the Score" by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk Center for Mindful Self-Compassion: centerformsc.org Join Dr. Jo's newsletter for more burnout recovery insights https://drjobraid.com www.instagram.com/burnoutrecoverydr www.linkedin.com/in/drjobraidSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Michelle Dittmer spoke with Chantaie Allick of Rework about burnout, ambition, and creating a healthier relationship with work. Chantaie shared how her own burnout led to Rework's mission: helping people pursue “ambition with ease” through rest, play, creativity, self-awareness, and self-compassion. Key Takeaways https://re-work.ca/ Follow Them on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/reworkmovement Check them out on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/reworkmovement/

What if the quality that we've been told will weaken us - self-compassion - is actually the key to wellbeing, and higher performance?In this episode, Dr. Kristin Neff, the pioneering researcher who first defined and measured self-compassion, challenges one of the most persistent myths in high-performance culture: that being hard on yourself makes you better. It doesn't. Thirty years of research says otherwise.Kristin Neff unpacks how self-compassion isn't self-pity or laziness, but a profound source of inner stability and flourishing, especially for leaders operating under relentless pressure. We explore why self-esteem is a fair-weather friend that deserts you the moment you fail and why unconditional self-worth is a far more stable foundation for growth and higher productivity. If you lead people, manage under pressure, or simply want to stop letting failure define you, this conversation will change how you think about what it means to thrive.What you will learn: Why self-compassion outperforms self-criticism for performance and growthThe three components of self-compassion and how to practice themHow just 20 seconds a day can measurably raise your self-compassion levelsWhy psychological safety must begin with the individual, not the organizationEpisode Chapters0:36 Introduction to Self-Compassion1:46: Common Myths About Self-Compassion5:32: The Shift from Self-Esteem to Self-Compassion17:28: Three components of Self Compassion17:54: Mindfulness and Self-Compassion39:22: Practical Self-Compassion Practices40:42: 20 Second Micro-Practice (UC Berkeley)RESOURCESConnect with the GuestLinkedIn: Dr. Kristin NeffRecommended Reading: Self Compassion: The power of being kind to yourselfFierce Self compassion: How to Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Your Power, and ThriveWebsite: selfcompassion.orgConnect with the HostLinkedIn: Ashish KothariWebsite: Happiness SquadBook: Hardwired For HappinessYouTube: Happiness Squad ChannelIf this conversation sparked something for you, please subscribe and leave a review, it takes 30 seconds and helps more people discover the show.

Think about the way you talk to your best friend when she's struggling — the patience, the warmth, the absence of judgment. Now think about how you talk to yourself in the same situation. If there's a significant gap between those two, it is costing you more than you know. Self-compassion isn't self-pity or lowered standards — it's the same quality of care you naturally extend to people you love, turned inward. Drawing on Dr. Kristin Neff's research, Courtney explains why the inner critic is not a motivational tool but a cortisol trigger, and why you consistently make better health decisions from kindness than from contempt. Get your free chapter of The Consistency Code at https://theconsistencycode.com/freechapter #selfcompassionwomen #kristinneffselfcompassion #innercriticandhealth #selfcriticismandcortisol #emotionalagilitymidlife #selfkindnessover40 #howtostopbeinghardonyourself #womenandselfjudgment #nervoussystemandselfcriticism #healthandselfcompassion #midlifeemotionalhealing #compassionandmotivation  

If you've been saying "I'm trying to recover" for months or years, this episode will completely change how you approach your healing journey. Today we're diving into the science behind why the phrase "I'm trying" is literally programming your brain for partial commitment—and why that guarantees you'l stay stuck. This isn't about willpower or motivation; it's about understanding how your language creates neural pathways that either support or sabotage your recovery. In this game-changing episode, you'll discover: The neuroscience behind why "trying" keeps you in limbo How decision defaulting protects you from commitment (and healing) Why your undernourished brain struggles with decisive action The trauma response component that makes decisions feel dangerous Two powerful exercises to shift from trying to deciding Real client stories of transformation through decisive language Warning: This episode will make you uncomfortable with your own excuses—and that's exactly the point. THE DECISION DEFAULTING TRAP Decision defaulting: When you avoid making definitive choices because not deciding feels safer than deciding "wrong." Sound familiar? "I'm trying to eat more" "I'm trying to stop restricting" "I'm trying to get better" "I'm thinking about getting help" Every time you say "I'm trying," you're leaving yourself an escape route. You're keeping one foot in and one foot out, protecting yourself from the vulnerability of full commitment. The raw truth: Trying is just a socially acceptable way of avoiding responsibility for your choices. THE NEUROSCIENCE OF "TRYING" Dr. Carol Dweck's research shows: The words we use create neural pathways that either support or sabotage our goals. When we use tentative language like "trying," we're literally programming our brains for partial commitment. What your brain hears: "I'm trying to eat breakfast" = "I'm not really committed to eating breakfast" "I'm trying to stop restricting" = "I'm keeping my options open to restrict if things get uncomfortable" From a neurological standpoint: Definitive decisions require activation of the prefrontal cortex (executive functioning). But when you're undernourished or in chronic stress from disordered eating, this brain region is compromised. Decision defaulting feels easier because it requires less energy. THE TRAUMA RESPONSE COMPONENT Many people with eating disorders have histories of choices being criticized, controlled, or dismissed. Decision defaulting becomes a protective mechanism: If you never fully commit to a choice, no one can tell you your choice was wrong. Dr. Kristin Neff's research on self-compassion shows: People who struggle with decision-making often have internalized critical voices that make them afraid of imperfection. The eating disorder amplifies this by convincing you every decision must be perfect—so it's safer to not decide at all. CLIENT STORY: BRITTANY'S BREAKTHROUGH Brittany came to coaching after 3 years of "trying to recover." She'd been in therapy multiple times, bought every book, started and stopped countless times. When asked what she wanted from coaching: "I want to try to finally get better." The intervention: "Brittany, you've been trying for three years. How's that working for you?" The realization: All her trying had actually kept her trying. The shift: From "I'm trying to recover" to "I'm deciding to use my resources and trust the path." The results: Within 6 months—weight restoration, rebuilt relationships, career changes she'd put on hold. THE POWER OF IMPLEMENTATION INTENTION Research by Dr. Peter Gollwitzer shows: People who use implementation intentions (decisive language) are 2-3 times more likely to follow through than those who rely on general intentions. Instead of leaving actions up to willpower, you're pre-committing to specific choices. THE LANGUAGE SHIFTS: OLD: "I'm trying to eat regular meals" NEW: "I'm deciding to eat breakfast tomorrow, lunch at noon, dinner in the evening—regardless of how I feel" OLD: "I'm trying to exercise less" NEW: "I'm deciding to take two complete rest days this week and limit exercise by 30 minutes" OLD: "I'm thinking about getting help" NEW: "I'm deciding to talk to three support professionals this week" WHY YOUR EATING DISORDER LOVES "TRYING" Your eating disorder wants you to keep trying. It wants you in the wishy-washy space where you're sort of committed but not really. As long as you're trying, you're not a real threat to its control. When you start deciding—making firm commitments and following through regardless of feelings—that's when your eating disorder panics. That's when recovery becomes inevitable. THE ILLUSION OF CONTROL Decision defaulting gives you an illusion of control: You think you're keeping options open You think you're staying flexible You think you're being logical What you're actually doing: Giving your power away to circumstances, other people, or the eating disorder voice. Real control comes from making conscious choices and taking responsibility for outcomes. CLIENT STORY: MARIA'S THERAPIST SEARCH Maria spent years researching therapists but never booked appointments. She was terrified that choosing the "wrong" person would confirm she was beyond help. The reframe: From "I need to find the perfect therapist" to "I'm deciding to take action toward support and will adjust as I learn." Within a week: Started coaching. Within a month: Real progress. None of this would have happened in decision default mode. KEY QUOTES

Send us Fan MailYou've done the work. You know it's over. So why can't you let go?If you're capable, accomplished, and still stuck in an old identity, a career, a relationship, a version of you that no longer fits, this episode names the one thing no one talks about.It isn't fear. It isn't lack of clarity. It isn't that you're not ready.It's judgment, and it's held in your body, not your mind.In this episode, Dr. Amen Kaur names why high-achieving women stay glued to the old life even when they know it's hurting them, and why "thinking your way out" doesn't work. Drawing on the neuroscience of Stephen Porges (polyvagal theory and neuroception), Bessel van der Kolk (The Body Keeps the Score), and Kristin Neff's research on self-compassion, she shows why your nervous system runs the old programme until it gets a new experience, and how compassion (not positive thinking) is the actual release.In this episode:Why "I know but I can't move" is a body problem, not a mindset problemThe two layers of judgment keeping you stuck (and which one is louder)Why affirmations don't land when your body is in survivalThe marathon analogy: why your body refuses to start a race it hasn't trained forThe handbrake metaphor: there's nothing wrong with your engineHow self-compassion lowers cortisol and brings the thinking brain back onlineOne question to ask the next time you feel that grip in your bodyFree masterclass: learn how to retrain your body to move forward. Link in the show notes below.If this episode landed, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a woman who needs to hear it.Dr. Amen KaurKey quotes"Your mind wants to do it, but your body is stuck. And they run on two completely different systems.""Judgment is the glue to the old identity.""The opposite of judgment is not positive thinking. It's compassion.""You can press the accelerator all you want. If the handbrake's on, you're not going anywhere."Mentioned in this episodeStephen Porges — Polyvagal Theory and neuroceptionBessel van der Kolk — The Body Keeps the ScoreKristin Neff — Self-compassion research (University of Texas)Free Masterclass Retrain your body to move forward, even when your mind has been ready for a long time. amenkaur.com/masterclassConnect with Dr. Amen KaurInstagram: @dramenkaurYoutube: @dramenkaurNew on Substack: https://dramenkaur.substack.com/ If this episode helped you:Subscribe so you don't miss the next oneLeave a review: it helps other women find the showShare this with the friend who's been "doing all the work"Free Masterclass: The Human Intelligence FrameworkA walkthrough of the five stage method Dr Amen Kaur uses with high achieving women who have lost themselves inside a career, role or identity that no longer fits.Watch it free at amenkaur.com/masterclassAbout Dr Amen KaurStarting Over, Being You with Dr. Amen Kaur is the podcast for high-achieving women who have been quietly losing themselves inside the life they built. Dr. Amen Kaur, PhD, is a former scientist and former Partner at a FTSE 250 company with 20+ years of corporate experience. She teaches the Human Intelligence Framework, the Five Intelligences that orbit Your Self, and how to bring the integrator back online when it has stepped away from the seat.Learn more at amenkaur.com/aboutStay CloseInstagram: @dramenkaurTikTok: @dramenkaurYouTube: @dramenkaurDisclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not medical, psychological, or financial advice. Please consult a qualified professional for guidance specific to your situation.

Raising resilient kids and understanding how to support their mental health often starts with their self-esteem and self-compassion. Host Elise Hu revisits two empowering conversations to help parents understand how intertwined self-esteem and mental health are. First, Kelli Joy Richardson, founder of The SonRise Project, debunks common myths about mental health and shares practical tips on how to start conversations with your kids about their mental health, even when it feels too difficult or too late to do so. Then we hear from professor and educator Dr. Kristin Neff on how parents can help reframe where self-worth comes from. Dr. Neff offers ways to encourage our kids to practice self-compassion that are tactile, audible, or by example. Key Takeaways: Mental health is often linked to our self-image, self-esteem, and self-compassion. Acceptance, letting be, and communication are three pillars to supporting your kids. Start conversations with your kids, even when it feels difficult or too late to do so. Foster a sense of self-worth by comparing and contrasting less. Worth is dependent on self-compassion, not on success. ⏱️ Timestamps: Keep the conversation going at home with our FREE Conversation Kit companion guides: Mental Health: https://delivery.shopifyapps.com/-/db4d68f2249368b3/ad84c8c03edddf8b Self-Esteem: https://delivery.shopifyapps.com/-/e1bea0cf911a6b78/3f7d25b53f99ac38 Learn more about the SonRise Project: https://www.thesonriseproject.org Follow Dr. Kristin Neff on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/neffselfcompassion   New episodes every Tuesday: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AKidsCo Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-us-a-parenting-podcast/id1552286967 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2bIRVxM8hbriNxydkSv6VG Or wherever you get your podcasts.

So many women are exhausted and calling it normal.   In this week's episode of Life Coaching for Mompreneurs, I'm joined by Dr. Nikia Smith for a deeply honest conversation about hustle culture, emotional exhaustion, boundaries, and how to stop living in survival mode.   We talk about: ✨ The subtle signs of burnout ✨ Why ambitious women struggle to rest ✨ How to start saying no without guilt ✨ The mindset shifts that change everything   If you've been overwhelmed, emotionally drained, irritable, exhausted, or secretly fantasizing about escaping your life just to rest, this conversation will help you feel seen and supported.   This is your permission to slow down and finally take care of yourself again. You are worthy of rest before your body forces you to stop.

In February 2019 I introduced myself to the internet with this: I don't want to post my highlight reel. I'd rather journey through life sharing life as it is. Comparison is the thief of joy. And then I wrote the first line of the first real post: I acted many years without a why of my own. And I was not my own. This episode is about why women lose themselves — what the research actually says, why we abandon ourselves and call it love, and what the conversation with yourself actually needs to sound like when you decide to start telling the truth. We talk about the I will be more me when list we keep making — and why the permission we are waiting for is never going to come from outside. We talk about Deborah Tannen on socialized silence, Brené Brown on performing for belonging, Kristin Neff on the inner critic we mistake for our own voice. And we replace the five false internal conversations with accurate ones. Not affirmations. Corrections. This episode closes the who am I arc and opens the door to the conversations we have been avoiding. 

In this episode, Dr. Jo explores the toxic "should" statements that plague healthcare professionals and fuel burnout. She shares personal stories about breaking free from perfectionist expectations and introduces the powerful concept of "Gap vs. Gain" thinking from Dr Ben Hardy and Dan Sullivan's transformative book. Learn practical tools to distinguish between realistic professional standards and exhausting perfectionist expectations, including how to handle modern challenges like patients bringing AI-generated diagnoses to consultations. Dr. Jo provides actionable strategies to shift from self-criticism to self-compassion while maintaining clinical excellence. Resources Mentioned:"The Gap and the Gain" by Ben Hardy and Dan SullivanJournal of Occupational Health Psychology (2023 study on perfectionist expectations)Dr. Kristin Neff's research on self-compassionStanford Medical School research on healthcare professional expectations Connect with Dr. Jo:Join the weekly newsletter https://drjobraid.comFollow on social media www.instagram.com/burnoutrecoverydrShare your "should audit" insights with the community. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if the reason you feel depleted, disconnected, or like you just can't hear your own intuition — is because nobody ever taught you how to love yourself in the way your soul actually needs?Most of us are incredible at pouring love into the people around us. But when it comes to ourselves? Empty cup. Running on fumes.In this episode I'm taking Gary Chapman's “Five Love Languages” and turning them completely inward. We're talking about what each one looks like when you apply it to yourself, why it matters spiritually, and practical ways to actually start filling your own cup in the language your soul speaks.You'll learn:What all five love languages look like as self-love practicesWhy self-abandonment creates energetic and intuitive blocksHow to identify your primary self-love languageThe one-week challenge to start shifting your energy now✨This one comes with homework. The good kind.Show notes:Take the free love languages quiz: https://www.5lovelanguages.com Dr. Kristin Neff's self-compassion research: https://self-compassion.orgGet Joy's Free "Sign Magnet" 3 Day Mini Course HERE https://www.joyfulmedium.com/sign-magnetJoy's Website: www.joyfulmedium.comInstagram: @JoyfulMediumTikTok: @JoyfulMediumFacebook: @JoyfulMediumFacebook Group: Joy's Soul SpaYouTube: Psychic Medium Joy Giovanni 

In today's episode of The Worth Loving Podcast, we explore what it truly means to date with confidence after experiencing emotional abuse. Healing from emotional manipulation, gaslighting, or chronic invalidation changes the way you see yourself, your relationships, and your ability to trust. Dating again can feel overwhelming, but it can also be a powerful opportunity to reconnect with your intuition, your boundaries, and your worth.Drawing from the work of leading trauma and attachment researchers like Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, Dr. Judith Herman, Dr. Sue Johnson, and Dr. Kristin Neff, this episode breaks down why dating feels different after emotional abuse and how to rebuild the internal safety you need to choose healthy love.We'll talk about rebuilding self‑trust, recognizing red and green flags, moving at your own pace, and honoring your emotional needs without guilt. You'll also receive reflective questions to help you deepen your healing and approach dating with clarity and confidence.And don't forget be on the lookout for a special mini‑drop from our podcast artist Emory Rose, coming soon to all streaming platforms.In This Episode, You'll Learn:Why dating after emotional abuse feels overwhelming — and why that's normalHow trauma impacts your nervous system, intuition, and sense of safetyWhat rebuilding self‑trust looks like in practical, everyday waysHow to date at a pace that honors your healingThe difference between healthy attention and love bombingRed flags to watch for in early datingGreen flags that signal emotional safety and maturityHow to listen to your body and intuition while datingReflective questions to help you date with confidenceReflective Questions from Today's Episode:What does emotional safety feel like in my body?What are my non‑negotiables in dating?What red flags have I ignored in the past, and why?What green flags do I want to pay more attention to?How can I honor my pace in dating?What boundaries do I want to set early?How can I practice self‑trust this week?Coaching Program MentionedIf you're ready to go deeper in your healing journey, my 12‑week trauma‑informed coaching program You Are Worth Loving™ is designed to help you rebuild self‑trust, break unhealthy patterns, and choose relationships that feel safe and aligned. Enrollment opens soon — stay tuned.Submit Your Questions for Thursday's Q&A EpisodeEvery Thursday, we release a Q&A episode shaped entirely by your questions. If you'd like your question featured, email me at:

Jesus shows up on a beach after the worst week of his friends' lives and asks a disarmingly simple question: have you eaten anything? This week we push back against the lie of scarcity and practice the defiant, countercultural act of believing there is enough.   LINKS:  Current Conversation | Connect | YouTube |  Coming Up TRANSCRIPT: Eat Something: Waking Up to Being Fed The Question That Shouldn't Be Radical A beat of honesty to begin… This week's message is built around a phrase that should not be controversial. It shouldn't raise anyone's blood pressure. It shouldn't feel political. It shouldn't require courage to say. The phrase is: There actually is enough. And yet… depending on your life experience, where you grew up, what your bank account looks like, what neighborhood you're in… that phrase might land anywhere from obviously true to laughably false to offensive, because you don't know my life. So before we go anywhere else, let's hold all of that. Let's hold the complexity of that sentence in the room together. The Story… Breakfast on the Beach (John 21:1–14) Tell the story… Let's paint the scene: It's after the resurrection. The disciples are rattled, confused, grief-stained. They've seen what they've seen, but nothing has quite settled yet. So they do the thing people do when they don't know what else to do: they go back to work. Peter says, I'm going fishing. And the others say, We'll come too. They fish all night. They catch nothing. Then, as dawn is breaking, a figure appears on the shore. He calls out: "Hey, you don't have any fish, do you?" They say no. He tells them to throw the net on the other side of the boat. They do — and suddenly there are so many fish they can't haul the net in. And then — and this is one of my favorite mental pictures of Jesus ever — they get to shore, and he's already has a charcoal fire going. Fish already on it. Bread already there. He doesn't wait for them to bring what they caught and make it into something. There is already something prepared. And he says: "Come and have breakfast." There's no moment of like… “let's debrief the last week.” or “I need you to understand what just happened.” Come and have breakfast. Pull up some sand and have a seat. The first thing the newly-alive Jesus does with his bewildered, grieving, exhausted friends is to feed them. The Lie of Scarcity Now — here's where we need to be honest with each other, and honest about the world we actually live in. Because it is not true that everyone in this room or in this city, or this country has always had enough to eat. Or enough to feel safe. Or enough to rest. In 2024, nearly 1 in 7 U.S. households — that's 47.9 million people — experienced food insecurity at some point during the year. Nearly 1 in 5 households with children were food insecure, the highest rate since 2014.  And those numbers are not distributed evenly. Almost 1 in 4 Black households, 1 in 5 Hispanic households, and nearly 1 in 3 American Indian and Alaska Native households were food insecure in 2024 — at least double the rate for non-Hispanic white households. These inequities reflect the impact of structural barriers rooted in systemic racism and other forms of discrimination that result in higher rates of poverty.  So when we talk about scarcity — we have to say this plainly: for a lot of people in our lives and community, scarcity has not been a philosophical problem or a spiritual metaphor. It has been Tuesday. An embodied, lived reality. And we have to also say: that is not because the earth doesn't produce enough. It's not because there isn't enough food, or enough housing, or enough care to go around. The pie is plenty big. But the slices are cut unevenly.. Research from the Federal Reserve Board shows that Black families' median wealth was approximately 15% that of white families — $44,900 compared to $285,000 — in 2022. Studies indicate these racial disparities persist even when factors like income and education are accounted for, suggesting that pervasive racism embedded in historical, political, and economic systems continues to drive the gap.  Scarcity, as most of us experience it, is manufactured. It is the product of systems — empire systems, to use a biblical word — that concentrate abundance at the top and make the rest fight over the remainder. The problem is not that there isn't enough fish in the sea. The problem is who controls the nets. What Jesus Keeps Doing And this is where the Easter story opens up into something larger than one morning on a beach. Because if you read the Gospels as a whole — if you trace the arc of what Jesus actually did — you start to notice a pattern. Feeding keeps happening. Abundance keeps showing up in the middle of scarcity. Five loaves and two fish for thousands of people, and there are baskets left over. Water turned to wine at a wedding — not a trickle, but somewhere between 120 and 180 gallons. A woman who loses a coin and sweeps her whole house until she finds it, then throws a party that probably costs more than the coin. A father who sees his prodigal kid coming from a long way off and kills the fatted calf — we're celebrating tonight. Over and over, Jesus enacts this: there is enough. More than enough. Abundance is the character of the divine, not scarcity. And then he dies. And the people who crucified him — Rome, the religious gatekeepers, the systems that depended on keeping people in their place — they thought that was the end of it. But here's what resurrection means, in part: his teachings didn't die with him. The practices didn't die. The communities he formed kept forming. Throughout history, untold numbers of people, inspired by this life and death, have put their bodies and their resources on the line to insist — there is enough, and we're going to share it. The church at its best — not its worst, not its empire-adjacent self, but its best — has always been a community that takes the fish off the fire and says come and have breakfast. That is what resurrection looks like in a neighborhood. In a coalition. In a food pantry. In a protest. In a community that shows up, over and over, to say: the story of scarcity is a lie, and we're not going to live by it. What We're Doing Here, Fabric… And here's where I want to get concrete, because I think this community is doing exactly that kind of work — and I don't want us to miss it or undervalue it. Our new partnership with ISAIAH — a statewide coalition of congregations and allies working for racial and economic equity in Minnesota GuideStar — is one expression of this. ISAIAH was founded in 2000 and has won real, tangible things: healthcare access for all children regardless of immigration status, billions in public transit funding, paid leave, homeowners' rights. These are not small things. These are exactly the kind of retooling… taking systems built on scarcity and bending them toward abundance… that the beach breakfast points toward. When Fabric shows up in public — at Fabric on the Town events like this past Friday at Midtown Global Market, for Fabric in Action events, or simply at tables in the neighborhood— we are not doing outreach in the old-school sense of trying to recruit people to our club. We are practicing what it looks like to be a community that shows up and says: we're here. We see you. There's room at the table.  When you show up on Sunday, or in your Fabric group, or check in on someone during the week — you are participating in this same movement. You are part of a network that is slowly, stubbornly, defiantly insisting that there is enough connection, enough care, enough belonging to go around. This is not soft or peripheral… this is the work. The Hard Part: Receiving But here's where I want to gently push, because there's a move in this story that's easy to skip over. The disciples don't just witness the breakfast. Jesus tells them to bring what they caught — and they do. And then he says: come and eat. Receiving is part of this. And for a lot of us — especially those of us who've been trained by scarcity, by systems that told us our needs were a burden, by communities or families that taught us to make do and not ask — receiving is actually the harder practice. Self-compassion researchers Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer have spent years documenting something that resonates here: one of the key barriers to human flourishing is not a lack of generosity toward others, but an inability to extend that same generosity to ourselves. Their work in Mindful Self-Compassion identifies a move they call mindful awareness — which is simply this: noticing what is actually happening in your experience right now, without immediately narrating it, judging it, or trying to fix it. Not: I shouldn't feel this way. Not: Other people have it worse. Not: If I just work harder, I'll feel okay. Just: This is what is happening in me right now. That kind of honest, gentle noticing — of your own hunger, your own exhaustion, your own longing — is actually a prerequisite for being able to receive. You can't take food you don't know you need. Closing Practice So let's close with something simple. An invitation to practice mindful awareness — and what this story might call coming to the fire. Take a breath. Let your feet feel the floor. And ask yourself — without judgment, without fixing — one of these questions. Just one. Let whichever lands, land. Where am I running on empty right now? What kind of nourishment have I been telling myself I don't need, or don't deserve, or can wait?

In this gentle practice, psychologist Kristin Neff helps us extend loving kindness inward, offering ourselves the same care and goodwill we naturally give to others.How To Do This Practice: Settle into your body: Sit comfortably, close your eyes if you'd like, and take a few natural breaths while noticing the weight of your body in the chair and your feet on the floor. Bring to mind someone you love easily: Think of a person or pet you care about deeply and picture their face. Notice the natural warmth and goodwill you feel toward them. Offer them wishes for well-being: Silently repeat phrases such as: May you be safe. May you be peaceful. May you be healthy. May you be free from suffering. Include yourself in the circle of kindness: Imagine yourself beside this loved one and extend the same wishes to both of you: May we be safe. May we be peaceful. May we be healthy. May we be free from suffering. Turn the kindness fully toward yourself: Let the image of your loved one fade and focus on yourself. If it feels comfortable, place a hand on your heart or hold your hands together, repeating: May I be safe. May I be peaceful. May I be healthy. May I be free from suffering. Rest in whatever arises: Let the phrases go and sit quietly for a few breaths, noticing any feelings that are present—warmth, discomfort, or neutrality—and meeting them with gentle acceptance. Scroll down for a transcription of this practice.Listen to the Full Practice Here: https://self-compassion.org/practices/loving-kindness-meditation-2/Today's Happiness Break Guide:Dr. Kristin Neff is an associate professor in the University of Texas at Austin's department of educational psychology. She's also the co-author of 'Mindful Self-Compassion for Burnout,' which offers tools to help individuals heal and recharge from burnout.More Happiness Breaks like this one:A Self-Compassion Meditation For Burnout: https://tinyurl.com/45vpp3f4The Healing Power of Your Own Touch: https://tinyurl.com/y4ze59h8Take a Break With Our Loving-Kindness Meditation: https://tinyurl.com/2kr4fjz5Related Science of Happiness episodes:Why Compassion Requires Vulnerability: https://tinyurl.com/yxw4uhpfThe Science of Letting Go: https://tinyurl.com/566t8udfThe Contagious Power of Compassion: https://tinyurl.com/3x7w2s5sWe'd love to hear about your experience with this practice! Share your thoughts at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or use the hashtag #happinesspod.Find us on Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapHelp us share Happiness Break! Leave a 5-star review and share this link: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapTranscription: https://tinyurl.com/jc7pk3s4

Welcome to a powerful encore presentation of the “Better Than Fine” podcast. Hosted by wellness expert Darlene Marshall, this episode dives deep into self-compassion and the transformative tools you need to improve your mental health, resilience, and overall well-being.Are you your own worst critic? Do you struggle with negative self-talk and find it hard to treat yourself with kindness? In this special episode, you'll discover Kristin Neff's three-point model of self-compassion, backed by science and practical wisdom to help you break free from self-judgment and thrive—even in life's toughest moments.

HI Nurse friend, In this expanded follow-up to Episode 224, we go deep on one of the most powerful — and most overlooked — tools in burnout recovery: self-compassion. Not as a soft concept, but as an active, research-supported practice that can literally change your nervous system chemistry. And it's biblically based! In fact, Jesus said it was the second greatest commandment!  In this episode, we cover: The difference between self-love and self-compassion — and why you can have one without the other What Matthew 22:39 actually says about how you are meant to love yourself (the Greek changes everything) The research from Kristin Neff's Mindful Self-Compassion for Burnout — including a pilot program with healthcare workers that reduced all three core dimensions of burnout Why your inner critic is keeping your body in fight-or-flight — and how a wise inner coach changes that The one question that is at the heart of every self-compassion practice Ready to go deeper? Book your complimentary stress assessment and get personalized tools you can use — even in the middle of a 12-hour shift. Link below. Shalom Shalom,  Xx, Shan  ……CONNECT…… The STAT Protocol: 5 min Nervous system Reset + Mental Shift for Burnt Out                   Nurses (free gift) Take the Free QUIZ-  Are you in burnout or just stressed??

If the voice in your head gets cruel after divorce, it can feel like you'll never be “okay” again, even when you're doing everything you can to hold life together. I'm digging into the one skill that changes the entire healing process: self-compassion. Not the fake kind that says “it's all fine,” but the kind that helps you stay accountable without drowning in shame.I look at why self-criticism feels like motivation but actually keeps you stuck. When you beat yourself up, your nervous system reads it as danger, your danger response goes up, and the part of you that can problem-solve and make wise choices gets dimmer. It's why you can't hate yourself into healing. From there, I teach you how to easily start using self-compassion by becoming your own inner ally.I also share Kristin Neff's three elements of self-compassion and end with a simple, repeatable practice you can use the moment the “mean girl” voice shows up. If you're ready for deeper support, I also offer a free 30-minute call and one-on-one coaching for women navigating divorce and rebuilding self-trust.To download your FREE "Becoming You Again Podcast Map" click here. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here.Struggling after divorce to get to know yourself? Click here to grab my $7 guide to get started!If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts.

“I’ve just started to tap into that, trusting a little bit faster over time. Because I see that when I make these decisions that feel aligned with what I want, and I believe is right for me, that on the other side, I haven’t regretted one of those decisions.” Allison Kahler Allison Kahler attended the Hoffman Process in 2024 after experiencing multiple big life changes. The Process helped her integrate these changes. One year later, Allison returned for the graduate Q2 in search of the catalyst that would move her forward into her new life. Before coming to the Process, Allison, who grew up in an “idyllic, loving, Catholic family,” felt tremendous guilt. Having had a ‘perfect childhood,’ she wondered if, instead of doing self-reflection work, she should just be grateful. But she found that even in a ‘perfect’ childhood, we still adopt patterns. Allison had adopted messages of perfection and proving worth through achievement. She had internalized the external pressure she felt as a child, with work being her number one focus in life. During her Process, Allison began to set the stage for her new life, realizing she is allowed to have dreams and desires. She started asking and listening to the quiet voice within. She started to develop a deeper trust in this voice. And she began to look for the spark that would launch her into her new life. A year post-Process, Allison came to Hoffman’s graduate retreat, the Q2. There, she found the catalyst she was looking for through an experience of self-compassion. Finding self-forgiveness lit the catalytic spark. By listening to the quiet voice within and developing her trust muscle through sustained action, Allison is now living into her new life. We hope you enjoy this uplifting conversation with Allison and Sadie. Listen on Apple Podcasts Listen on Spotify More about Allison Kahler: Allison, host of The D. Tales Allison Kahler is an executive coach and the host of The D. Tales with Allison Kahler. A recovering perfectionist and lifelong insecure overachiever, Allison spent nearly two decades in management consulting before realizing that much of her drive was fueled by fear, self-doubt, and deeply ingrained patterns formed early in life. After going through a divorce at 33, an experience that left her carrying years of guilt and shame, she made a series of life-altering changes: leaving a nearly 20-year consulting career, moving cross-country from Chicago to Santa Monica, and questioning not just her marriage and career, but who she was and who she wanted to become. Young Allison Allison's experience at The Process marked a profound turning point. Through a deep commitment to the daily tools and practices, she began to shed limiting beliefs, transform long-held patterns, and learn to meet herself with greater self-compassion. Today, Allison supports leaders and individuals navigating transition, working with organizations as an executive coach and advisor. She works with individuals through The D. Tales, her podcast. There, she shares real divorce stories and grounded conversations with experts about identity, healing, and rewriting the next chapter of their lives. At the heart of her work is a belief shaped by lived experience: that even our most painful life transitions can become powerful invitations to reconnect with who we truly are and move forward with greater clarity, courage, and self-trust. Discover more at AllisonKahler.com. Follow Allison on Instagram. Follow The D. Tales on Instagram and TikTok. As mentioned in this episode: The D. Tales with Allison Kahler — available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms. The Hoffman Q2 Intensive Dates and Registration Kevin Eyres, Hoffman teacher – Listen to Kevin on the Hoffman Podcast: Beyond the Intellect Self-compassion: “Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with your failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect?” – KristenNeff, expert on self-compassion Listen to Kristin Neff on the Hoffman Podcast: Goodwill & Intention, the Magic Ingredients Hoffman Tools: •   Be-Do-Have vs. Do-Have-Be: The life we long for comes from Be-Do-Have; the life we are taught we should strive for comes from Do-Have-Be. •   Quad Check: Join our virtual Quad-Check at 8:00 am PT on Instagram. The Quad Check is a practice to guide you to check in with all four parts of your Quadrinity: Spiritual Self, Intellect, Emotional Self, and Body.    

In this encore episode, Kristen sits down with Dr. Kristin Neff to explore how self-compassion can help you break free from shame, quiet self-criticism, and build a more authentic and grounded relationship with yourself. You will learn: How to define self-compassion and the three core components that make it effective The difference between tender self-compassion and fierce self-compassion—and when to use each Why shame and self-criticism are so common (and how to break free from them) Practical tools and scripts to start speaking to yourself with kindness today How self-compassion impacts parenting, relationships, and your ability to set boundaries self-compassion.org If you'd like to buy any of Dr. Kristin Neff's books, please use the Amazon affiliate links below. Shopping through these links helps support the podcast at no extra cost to you! Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself Fierce Self-Compassion: How to Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Your Power, and Thrive   Subscribe HERE and get a free 5-day journal to begin closing the chapter on what doesn't serve you and open the door to the real you. Connect with Kristen: Get Kristen's newsletter, packed with tangible tools, resources, and inspiration Watch the episodes on YouTube Follow Kristen on Instagram   Kristen's TikTok   Have Kristen Speak at Your Event  Disclaimer This information is being provided to you for educational and informational purposes only. It is being provided to you to educate you about ideas on stress management and as a self-help tool for your own use. It is not psychotherapy/counseling in any form. This information is to be used at your own risk based on your own judgment. For counseling services near Indianapolis, IN, visit www.pathwaystohealingcounseling.com. Pathways to Healing Counseling's vision is to provide warm, caring, compassionate and life-changing counseling services and educational programs to individuals, couples and families in order to create learning, healing and growth.    

You've been trying to "do" intuitive eating…but it still feels messy, confusing, or like you're somehow getting it wrong. In this episode, I'm breaking down the REAL missing ingredient that no one is talking about: self-compassion. Not the fluffy "just love yourself" version, but the research-backed approach from Kristin Neff and Chris Germer that actually helps you change your behavior for good. We're diving into the balance of tender and fierce self-compassion, and why you need BOTH for intuitive eating to truly click. I'll show you how shame is the unseen driving force behind most of your struggles with food and body image, and how self-compassion is the antidote that allows you to build real trust with your body. If intuitive eating hasn't fully "worked" for you yet, this might be the piece you've been missing that changes everything for you.   Episode Highlights -Why shame is at the root of food struggles and how it blocks intuitive eating -The difference between tender and fierce self-compassion and when to use each -How self-compassion helps you stop the restrict-binge cycle and actually trust your body   Today's Wellness Woo is lipotropic injections.   Resources Mentioned - Kristin Neff's self-compassion website: https://self-compassion.org/    Read the full episode show notes here: https://katyharvey.net/podcast230    Resources for Your Intuitive Eating Journey Join My Intuitive Eating Made Easy Facebook Group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/306396290454800 Work with Katy: https://katyharvey.net/services Join Katy's weekly email newsletter: https://www.nondietacademy.com/newsletter    Connect with Katy Harvey Website: https://katyharvey.net Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katyharvey.rd/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KatyHarveyRD     Subscribe and Review   Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts   I would be thrilled if you could rate and review my podcast! Your support helps me reach and encourage more people on their intuitive eating journeys. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Don't forget to share what you loved most about the episode!   Also, make sure to follow the podcast if you haven't already done so. Follow now!  

What does it actually mean to be kind to yourself… especially when things aren't going well?In this episode, Victoria explores the concept of Self Compassion — and why so many of us struggle to extend it inward, even though we offer it so freely to others. With honesty, reflection, and a few surprising insights, listen as Victoria unpacks how we respond to stress, failure, and the pressure we put on ourselves.It's Aries season, so you know what this means… DISC as Zodiac Signs (a little fun…)High D – direct, driven and achievement oriented so the corresponding zodiac signs are: Aries, Gemini and CapricornHigh I – friendly, emotional and persuasive and the signs are: Cancer, Libra, and Pisces High S – tenacious, kind and supportive so we have: Taurus, Leo and Sagittarius High C – analytical, perfectionistic and detail oriented which matches up to: Virgo, Scorpio and Aquarius Which one feels most like you?The conversation shifts into something deeper:How do you treat yourself when things go wrong?You'll hear:A breakdown of what self-compassion actually is (and what it's not)A look at Dr. Kristin Neff's research and self-compassion frameworkReal reflections from taking the self-compassion assessmentThe difference between tender self-compassion (soothing) and fierce self-compassion (taking action)Why being hard on yourself doesn't actually make you betterCommon myths that keep people stuck in self-criticismIf you tend to overthink, push yourself too hard, or feel like you “should be doing better,” this episode will help you shift the way you relate to yourself — without lowering your standards.Because self-compassion isn't about letting yourself off the hook.It's about giving yourself what you need to keep going.Previous DISCovering You Episode Mentioned: MindsetEpisode Timestamps:00:00 - Why This Topic Now00:32 - Show Intro and Mood Meter01:51 - DISC Meets Astrology04:49 - What Self Compassion Means06:09 - Self Compassion Quiz Walkthrough10:53 - Scores and Subscales13:24 - Tender vs Fierce Self Compassion15:41 - Benefits and Research Findings17:31 - Myths That Block Self Compassion19:53 - How to Practice and Resources20:19 - Gender Roles and Open Questions22:06 - Final Takeaway and OutroIf you're interested in learning more about team building, coaching, strategic hiring and onboarding, let's connect!discoverwhatworks@gmail.comhttps://pod.link/1614071253https://discoverwhatworks.org/https://www.facebook.com/VictoriaDISChttps://www.instagram.com/discoverwhatworks/https://www.linkedin.com/in/discoverwhatworksMentioned in this episode:Fast Facts

In this solo deep-dive episode, Dr. Alexandra will be exploring rebounds. Maybe you are fresh out of a breakup and you've crossed paths with someone you're interested in, but you're scared that pursuing this feels “rebound-y” and therefore foolish. Maybe you're seeing someone who is recently out of a relationship and you're worried about becoming their rebound. Maybe you've had concerns about a rebounding couple in your world. Or maybe you're simply curious about the process of healing between relationships. Wherever you're coming from, this episode will surely leave you with a unique and nuanced perspective on healing before entering a new relationship that will be useful to you. First, Dr. Alexandra will talk about rebound relationships and dig into the rhetoric around them, including some surprising research that may run counter to the typical view of rebound relationships (and then some caveats to this research - shades of grey galore!). With this groundwork laid out, she is then going to offer you a 9-Task framework for doing a rebound with Relational Self-Awareness – how to keep a new relationship healthy while also continuing to process whatever your previous relationship left you with. And if you're the partner of someone who is rebounding, you can repurpose the framework for your own situation. Resources worth mentioning from the episode: The Surprising Benefits of a Rebound Relationship: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/sex-esteem/202601/the-surprising-benefit-of-a-rebound-relationship-after-a-breakup Reimagining Love episode, Why Self-Compassion is an Essential Practice with Dr. Kristin Neff: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/why-self-compassion-is-an-essential-practice-with/id1588419386?i=1000733838918 Reimagining Love episode, Talking About the Future: Navigating a Pace Discrepancy: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/talking-about-the-future-navigating-a-pace-discrepancy/id1588419386?i=1000578512125 Reimagining Love episode, "I Need Connection & My Partner Needs Space. Now What?": https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/i-need-connection-my-partner-needs-space-now-what/id1588419386?i=1000654782525 Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon: Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274 Access Resources, like quizzes and courses: https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/resources Order Dr. Alexandra's book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530 Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra's Loving Bravely newsletter: https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/ Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Kristin Neff, pioneering researcher and author of *Self-Compassion*, shares a groundbreaking case for why treating ourselves with kindness isn't indulgent — it's essential. Drawing on decades of academic research and personal reflection, Neff outlines how self-compassion transforms mental health, resilience, motivation, and even our relationship to ambition.The conversation spans parenting, education, culture, and the myth of the “perfect” self. Neff breaks down the differences between self-esteem and self-compassion, explores how shame and criticism undermine growth, and reveals how to rewire self-talk using neuroscience and contemplative practice. Her concept of self-worth isn't built on achievement or performance — it's rooted in humanity, connection, and presence.From emotional resilience and rumination to social comparison and cultural programming, this episode is a masterclass in learning to care for yourself — not as a reward for success, but as a prerequisite for thriving. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if every moment of self-compassion is actually a moment of waking up? In this very special episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami sits down with pioneering self-compassion researcher Kristin Neff and meditation teacher Caverly Morgan—two friends and compelling authors whose collaboration reveals how treating ourselves with kindness can become a lifeboat for our deepest nature.This conversation offers genuine transmission—not just concepts about awakening, but the palpable presence of realized teachers exploring the growing edge of spiritual understanding together. Originally aired on Sounds True One.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Dr. Kristin Neff, pioneering self-compassion researcher, author, and teacher, talks about the power and benefits of practicing self-compassion as parents to differently wired children. In our conversation, Kristin shares what she has learned about self-compassion, both through her research and her own experiences parenting an autistic child. She goes deep into what self-compassion really looks like,  why we are often more compassionate to others than ourselves, and shares some strategies for strengthening that self-compassion muscle both for ourselves and our kids.  ABOUT DR. NEFF Kristin Neff is an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. She is a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, conducting the first empirical studies on self-compassion over fifteen years ago. She has co-developed an empirically supported training program called Mindful Self-Compassion, and is author of the books Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook, and Teaching the Mindful Self-Compassion Program: A Guide for Professionals.   THINGS YOU'LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE: How Dr. Neff got into the work of self-compassion research What it looks like to practice self-compassion Why we judge ourselves so harshly and what keeps us from being a better self-friend What it means to practice self-comfort Strategies parents can use to accept and BE with their suffering How to teach kids and teens about self-compassion   RESOURCES MENTIONED:  Dr. Kristin Neff's website Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Dr. Kristin Neff The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook:  A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive by Kristin Neff:  Teaching the Mindful Self-Compassion Program: A Guide for Professionals by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices