Wolf 359

That's right - our old friends Eiffel and Hilbert are back with important news! There's a new audio fiction series called Hit Singles, created by Wolf 359 creator Gabriel Urbina and produced by Urbina, Sarah Shachat, and Zach Valenti! It's a romantic comedy all about friendship, love, the struggles of trying to make it in a big city, and loving music way too much. You can listen to the show over on Audible. If you have an Audible Plus membership, you can listen to it at no additional cost. (And if you still have a free trial, you can listen to it for free for 30 days.) Besides the show's three producers, you'll also hear Wolf 359 alumni Noah Masur, Zach Libresco, Michelle Agresti, and Mary Kate Wiles in the series. (As well as veterans from many of our sibling series, such as The Bright Sessions, Life With Leo(h), and 36 Questions!) It was a real labor of love, and we'd love to help it find as wide an audience as it can. So please check it out, and, if you love it as much as we think you will, please leave a rating and a review. Here is the official description for Hit Singles: From the creators of the hit audio drama Wolf 359 and with original music by Jeremy Warmsley comes a modern story about friendship, love, and chosen family starring Evangeline Young (Emergence), Nicholas Podany (Harry Potter and the Cursed Child), Simone Policano (Blue Bloods), Julia Rehwald (Fear Street), Briggon Snow (Masters of Sex) and a full cast. A captivating listen perfect for fans of New Girl and High Fidelity. When struggling DJ Faith Adler comes to couch surf with her best friend Tori in NYC, she finds herself drawn into the world of Tori's eclectic friend group. Right from her chaotic first night, Faith's new friends take her under their wing and help her navigate the ups and downs of trying to make it as an artist in the big city. There's Tori, the bubbly one; Ginah, the high-strung but loyal one; Matt, the flirtatious one; and David, the cynical one. Tori and Ginah's apartment becomes a sanctuary where lasting bonds are forged over late nights, drink-filled conversations, impromptu dance parties, and the occasional Sense and Sensibility marathon. Falling in love definitely isn't part of Faith's plan, but that all changes when she meets David, a former law student (and current bartender) who has recently come to the conclusion that romance is for suckers and sworn it off altogether. From the moment they meet at a New Year's in the Summer party, their will-they-or-won't-they chemistry is electric. As Faith and David grow closer over whiskey-soaked nights and heart-to-heart talks on the fire escape, their flirtation deepens into something more meaningful. Are they friends? Lovers? Romantic partners? Casual sex acquaintances? The answer is, simultaneously, all and none of the above. Let the overthinking commence! With rich character development and an ensemble cast that feels like friends you've known forever, Hit Singles deftly balances comedy, romance, and poignant drama. It's a beautifully rendered celebration of the family we choose, the cities that choose us back, and the life-altering power of human connection. * * * Today's message features the sound effect UI Seatbelt Signal by newlocknew. (UI_Seatbelt signal similar(Sytrus,Eq,chrs,flngr,xctr,rvrb).wav by newlocknew -- https://freesound.org/s/568785/ -- License: Attribution 4.0) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Want to write great fiction podcasts but don't know where to begin? You're not alone! Wolf 359 creator Gabriel Urbina is offering a new and updated version of his acclaimed online workshop, Writing Stories For Sound this February. Join Gabriel on a guided tour of his own journey into understanding audio, as he retraces his steps and revisits the questions he asked as he started writing the first episodes of Wolf 359. He's teaching the workshop twice next month - on Sunday February 2nd and on Tuesday February 4th! But wait! He's also teaching a brand new Masterclass Edition of Writing Stories for Sound - a six-week class where he not only teaches you all the things you need to know to write a great audio fiction pilot, he actually writes a script alongside you. It's the best look into the creative process that brought us Wolf 359 and many other shows you'll ever get! The first round of this online masterclass kicks off February 5th! For more information or to sign up, please visit gabrielurbina.com/classes. * * * TRANSCRIPT OF TODAY'S MESSAGE: (sounds of Eiffel fidgeting, while tense, dramatic music plays) Eiffel: Come on come on come on... where is he? Doctor... (door opens) Eiffel: Ah, Doctor Hilbert! Thank goodness, there you are! I need help.  Hilbert: Officer Eiffel. What seems to be the problem? Eiffel: I - I don't know. I feel like nothing I do sounds the way it ought to. The funny parts aren't funny. The exciting parts aren't exciting. It's like I've lost the script on my whole life.  Hilbert: I see. Do not be worried, Officer Eiffel. Problem is serious but there is simple solution.  Eiffel: Is the great clown Pagliacci in town? Hilbert: Even better. (music abruptly changes, replaced by a more playful melody) Hilbert: Podcast creator Gabriel Urbina is offering online workshop on how to write the great audio fiction.  Eiffel: He is? Hilbert: He is. Is comprehensive journey through the building blocks of gripping podcast stories.  Eiffel: Does it cover the basics of how to write scenes without any visuals? Hilbert: Absolutely. But it goes beyond that. It explains how audio fiction can do things no other medium does, such as making the audience imagine visuals that cannot be seen.  Eiffel: You mean like that weird room in the back of the station, where the walls are painted a color that's darker than black?  Hilbert: Precisely. Or the way you can introduce a new detail into scene and completely change audience's understanding of what was happening.  Eiffel: Oh! Is that why you're dressed up as a Teletubby? To illustrate that concept? Hilbert: Uh... no. I am wearing this for... my own purposes. Do not ask any more questions about the outfit.  Eiffel: I am not going to ask any more questions about the outfit. Well, Doc, I have to say I'm sold.  (a laminated card is placed on the table) Eiffel: Will my insurance cover this? Hilbert: Eiffel, you know very well that Goddard Futuristics does not offer health insurance to independent contractors such as yourself. Eiffel: Awww man... Hilbert: This is Dave and Busters gift card.  Eiffel: But it's still valid!  Hilbert: But: more good news. There are scholarship opportunities available for students and others who need them. Visit website for more information.  Eiffel: (leaving) Amazing. Doc, this sounds exactly like what I needed. How can I repay you?  Hilbert: No need, happy to be of assistance. (lower) Besides, genetic materials nanobots collected while you were in laboratory will be perfectly adequate display of gratitude.  Eiffel: What was that, doc? Hilbert: Nothing, Officer Eiffel, nothing! Enjoy the class! (music changes again, replaced with a bouncy, happy theme) Gabriel Urbina: Writing Stories For Sound, a set of online classes by me, Gabriel Urbina. Seats are now open for one-day workshops on February 2nd and 4th, as well as a brand new six-week masterclass beginning on February 5th. Visit gabrielurbina.com/classes for more info and to reserve your seat today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wolf 359 creator Gabriel Urbina is back to present a quick preview of his new show Dracula: The Danse Macabre. It's a four-part adaptation of Bram Stoker's novel, bringing the horror classic to audio fiction. Performed by just two performers - the incredible Evangeline Young and Change of Mind's Peter Coleman - who bring 15 distinct characters to life, it tells the story of the evil Count Dracula's plan to bring death and destruction to the new world... as well as those who would risk everything to stop him. Featuring a new score from Wolf 359 composer Alan Rodi and sound design by Unwell producer Jeffrey Nils Gardner. To listen to full episodes of Dracula: The Danse Macabre, visit their website or subscribe to the show's feed on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Pocket Casts. TRANSCRIPT OF TODAY'S MESSAGE: Gabriel Urbina: Hey everyone. My name is Gabriel Urbina. I'm the creator of Wolf 359, and the co-creator of Zero Hours, Time:Bombs, and Unseen. I'm back here on the feed to send you all a short transmission to tell you about a new audio fiction podcast I've made, and which you can listen to right now. It's called Dracula: The Danse Macabre, and it's a new adaptation of Bram Stoker's novel. Over four episodes, it tells the story of the evil Count Dracula, his plans to leave his home of Transylvania to terrorize the new world, and the married couple who do everything in their power to stop him. It's the timeless horror classic given a new coat of podcast paint for the 21st Century, and the whole thing is performed by just two actors, who together bring 15 different different characters to life.  I wrote every installment of this adaptation, and I also got to work with some amazing people on these four episodes. Our two actors, Evangeline Young and Peter Coleman - the latter of whom you may remember from our Change of Mind special here on Wolf 359 - they are both unstoppable forces of nature. It has a new gorgeous score from Wolf 359 composer Alan Rodi and incredible sound design from Unwell producer Jeffrey Nils Gardner. And I was even able to twist our old friend Sarah Shachat's arm enough that she agreed to come by the studio and direct an episode.  You're about to hear a little preview of the show in just a second, but the first two episodes are actually out right now. So if you find yourself at all intrigued and you need some new spooky content in your life for the end of the year, please consider checking out Dracula: The Danse Macabre. There are links in the episode description for all the places where you can hear it. I hope you'll check it out, I hope you'll enjoy it, and - as always - thank you for listening.  TRANSCRIPT OF THE TRAILER: Woman: The rules that govern the vampire are well known. (Thunder crashes behind her. A storm grows in power beneath the following:) Woman: He does not die, but clings to life forever. (Dark, foreboding music plays beneath her words.) Woman: Having lost his own life, he must steal the life of others by drinking their blood. Woman: If a place is a home, he may only enter after he's been invited in. Woman: He is destroyed by the sun and cowers at the sight of religious symbols. Woman: He can be put to rest by a stake through the heart, or by the removal of his head, or by means of fire. Woman: And when he crosses a mirror... he leaves behind no reflection. Woman: And though the vampire may look like a man, all traces of intelligence vanish upon death, leaving behind nothing but a beast. There are no vampires that can think like a man. Man: None... except for one. (A powerful crash of thunder.) Announcer: Dracula: The Danse Macabre. A four-part fiction podcast event from Gabriel Urbina, the creator of Wolf 359, bringing Bram Stoker's timeless horror classic to audio. Coming November 13th, wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Want to create great fiction podcasts but don't know where to begin? You're not alone! Wolf 359 creator Gabriel Urbina is offering a brand new online workshop, Directing Stories For Sound, as well as a new round of his returning classic, Writing Stories for Sound! This September, join Gabriel on two guided tours of his own journey into understanding audio, as he retraces his steps and revisits the questions he asked as he was taking his first baby steps into the medium with the first episodes of Wolf 359! He's teaching both workshops twice this September. Writing Stories for Sound will be on September 5th at 7:00 PM Eastern and on September 10th at 7:00 PM Eastern. The brand new Directing Stories for Sound will be on September 8th at 2:00 PM Eastern and on September 12th at 7:00 PM Eastern! For more information or to sign up, please visit wolf359.fm/learn. TRANSCRIPT OF TODAY'S MESSAGE: (music plays) Announcer: And now a quick scene from Life on the Hephaestus, Day Four-Hundred and Forty-Nine. (sounds of Hilbert's lab fade in) (the door bursts open) Eiffel: Oh my god, Doctor Hilbert! Thank god, I've found you!  Hilbert: Officer Eiffel. Why are you bursting into my laboratory? There is problem?  Eiffel: Yes, there is huge problem! Minkowski was trying to reset the air regulator in the docking bay and the equipment malfunctioned! Now she's trapped in there and the room's losing O2! I have no idea what to do, you have to come and help me!  Hilbert: No, no, no, no, no - wait one moment.  (music slows down and stops, like somebody unplugged the record player) Hilbert: Hmm... Eiffel: ... uhhh, doc? Hilbert: Eiffel, this is not really working for me. Can I make some suggestions? Eiffel: Uh, sure? Hilbert: When you say there is huge problem, put more emphasis on word huge, yes? Eiffel: Like... there is huge problem? Hilbert: Yes, good, good. And explanation of problem, can you do with more energy? Faster?  Eiffel: Uh, yeah, I think I can give that a try.  Hilbert: Excellent, excellent. And last sentence... is not really coming together. Hmm... How would you feel if instead you say, “I know exactly how to fix this, and I will go take care of it right now.”  Eiffel: ... go take care of it right now... Hilbert: Yes, like that, like that. Here: you leave and come back in. We try from top.  Eiffel: All - all right.  (the door closes as Eiffel leaves) (pause, a new piece of music starts playing) (the door bursts open) Eiffel: Oh my god, Doctor Hilbert! Thank god, I've found you!  Hilbert: Officer Eiffel. There is problem?  Eiffel: Yes, there is HUGE problem! Minkowski was trying to reset the air regulator in the docking bay and the equipment malfunctioned! Now she's trapped in there and the room's losing O2! I know exactly how to fix this, and I will go take care of it right now!  Hilbert: Very good. I'm glad we had this conversation. Eiffel: Me too, but now I gotta go do the thing and save the Commander!   Hilbert: Hmph. Excellent. Is good that I took online workshop on Directing Stories for Sound with Gabriel Urbina. Taught me everything I know on how to define what a scene should and should not be.  (a printer prints out a message) Hilbert: Ahhh, and would you look at that. Urbina is teaching Directing Stories for Sound this September, along with classic Writing Stories for Sound workshop as well. What great opportunity for anyone that wants to learn how to master the power of audio and fiction podcasting.  (the door opens again) Eiffel: Actually, doc, can we try that one more time?  Hilbert: No, Eiffel, scene was good. Leave it alone.  Eiffel: Aww, doc, but - !  Hilbert: Leave it! (the scene and music fade out, jaunty music beings playing) Announcer: Writing Stories For Sound and the brand new Directing Stories for Sound, a set of workshop by Gabriel Urbina. Seats are now open for sessions on September 5th, 8th, 10th, and 12th. Visit wolf359.fm/learn for more info and to sign up.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Want to write great fiction podcasts but don't know where to begin? You're not alone! Wolf 359 creator Gabriel Urbina is offering a new and updated version of his acclaimed online workshop, Writing Stories For Sound this February. Join Gabriel on a guided tour of his own journey into understanding audio, as he retraces his steps and revisits the questions he asked as he was taking his first baby steps into the medium with the first episodes of Wolf 359. He's teaching the workshop twice this month - once on Thursday February 22nd at 7:00 PM Eastern time and once on Sunday February 25th at 2:00 PM Eastern time! For more information or to sign up, please visit wolf359.fm/learn. * * * TRANSCRIPT OF TODAY'S MESSAGE: (sounds of Eiffel fidgeting, while tense, dramatic music plays) Eiffel: Come on come on come on... where is he? Doctor... (door opens) Eiffel: Ah, Doctor Hilbert! Thank goodness, there you are! I need help.  Hilbert: Officer Eiffel. What seems to be the problem? Eiffel: I - I don't know. I feel like nothing I do sounds the way it ought to. The funny parts aren't funny. The exciting parts aren't exciting. It's like I've lost the script on my whole life.  Hilbert: I see. Do not be worried, Officer Eiffel. Problem is serious but there is simple solution.  Eiffel: Is the great clown Pagliacci in town? Hilbert: Even better. (music abruptly changes, replaced by a more playful melody) Hilbert: Podcast creator Gabriel Urbina is offering online workshop on how to write the great audio fiction.  Eiffel: He is? Hilbert: He is. Is comprehensive journey through the building blocks of gripping podcast stories.  Eiffel: Does it cover the basics of how to write scenes without any visuals? Hilbert: Absolutely. But it goes beyond that. It explains how audio fiction can do things no other medium does, such as making the audience imagine visuals that cannot be seen.  Eiffel: You mean like that weird room in the back of the station, where the walls are painted a color that's darker than black?  Hilbert: Precisely. Or the way you can introduce a new detail into scene and completely change audience's understanding of what was happening.  Eiffel: Oh! Is that why you're dressed up as a Teletubby? To illustrate that concept? Hilbert: Uh... no. I am wearing this for... my own purposes. Do not ask any more questions about the outfit.  Eiffel: I am not going to ask any more questions about the outfit. Well, Doc, I have to say I'm sold.  (a laminated card is placed on the table) Eiffel: Will my insurance cover this? Hilbert: Eiffel, you know very well that Goddard Futuristics does not offer health insurance to independent contractors such as yourself. Eiffel: Awww man... Hilbert: This is Dave and Busters gift card.  Eiffel: But it's still valid!  Hilbert: But: more good news. There are scholarship opportunities available for students and others who need them. Visit website for more information.  Eiffel: (leaving) Amazing. Doc, this sounds exactly like what I needed. How can I repay you?  Hilbert: No need, happy to be of assistance. (lower) Besides, genetic materials nanobots collected while you were in laboratory will be perfectly adequate display of gratitude.  Eiffel: What was that, doc? Hilbert: Nothing, Officer Eiffel, nothing! Enjoy the class! (music changes again, replaced with a bouncy, happy theme) Old-Timey Radio Announcer Voice: Writing Stories For Sound, a workshop by Gabriel Urbina. Seats are now open for sessions on February 22nd and 25th. Visit wolf359.fm/learn for more info and to secure your seat today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Merry Christmas, and Happy 4-Year Anniversary to the finale of Wolf 359! To celebrate, Commander Emma Sherr-Ziarko gathered (most) of the cast and crew of the show for a reunion on her own podcast, Pairing, and we wanted to bring it directly to all of you. We reminisce about our favorite memories of making this show, what episodes we loved most, and we discuss what we think our characters would drink. Plus: Noah's slates, Zach Valenti breaking into song, recording at Spaceman, building and living in a character, Hilbert's commercial reads, forgetting episode titles, Horse Wines, predicting the future, Alan's track titles, Gabriel the master synthesizer, How Could Dare You, and, of course, Funzo.This episode features: Julian Silver, Scotty Shoemaker, Zach Valenti, Ariela Rotengold, Noah Masur, Michelle Agresti, Sarah Shachat, Zach Libresco, Michaela Swee, Cecilia Lynn-Jacobs, Alan Rodi, and Gabriel Urbina. It also features music by Alan Rodi.Special thanks to Zach Valenti for helping edit this episode! Zach is doing a Wolf 359 re-listen starting December 25th, 2021, at 3:59pm EST. Join him at wolf359.fm/relisten!Check out more of Pairing - including many episodes featuring members of the Wolf 359 cast and crew as guests - at the show's website! If you would like to access an ad-free feed of Wolf 359, check out the newly relaunched Wolf 359 patreon.Emma humbly asks that you sign up for the pre-launch of Moira Katson's new book, A Sundered Throne, which Emma is on deck to narrate if we raise enough money from the kickstarter. It's free to sign up, and you get a sneak peek of the first 8 chapters!You can also find Emma as an acting coach on SkillsHub, a website founded by another commander (Jennifer Hale). Check out her website and patreon for more info on what she's up to!If you enjoy Pairing, follow us on social media and tell your friends! Follow us on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, & Tumblr!Pairing was created, hosted, and produced by Emma Sherr-Ziarko, with music and audio recording by Winston Shaw, and artwork by Darcy Zimmerman and Katie Huey. This episode was edited by Emma Sherr-Ziarko and Zach Valenti. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We finally broke through the last of our technical hiccups, friends, and could not be more excited to share with you the brand new(/old) Wolf 359 Ad-Free feed. To access the whole run of the show without ads, head on over to wolf359.fm/support. Or just keep listening to the show on your podcatcher of choice. We're not the boss of you. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This is a behind-the-scenes look into the making of the final episode of Wolf 359, produced by Rebecca Seidel. Featuring interviews with its cast and crew, and never-before-heard audio from the studio recording sessions for Brave New World.Note: This special behind-the-scenes extra contains spoilers for Episode 61, Brave New World. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

New to Wolf 359? Don't know where you should start listening? Here's the orientation you need for your deep space adventure: how to get started, what to look out for, and how to get the best Wolf 359 experience.For a text version of this guide, please visit www.wolf359.fm/starter-guide See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Hello Dear Listeners! It's Doug Eiffel.. also known Executive Producer and actor Zach Valenti here with a brief announcement. Wolf 359 has been finished for… oh man, almost four years now. When Gabriel and I first set out to make the show in early 2014, we were fresh out of film school and excited to tell big, ambitious stories… but without the means to do so in film or TV. But having grown up on a steady diet of radio plays and full-cast audiobooks, and seeing the success of modern audio fiction podcasts, we decided to try our hands at making movies for your ears.Several years and credit cards later, we were shocked by the groundswell of support of you, our amazing listeners. By the time we published the finale, the monthly Patreon funds completely reimbursed all our debt and allowed us to make more of the show than we ever dreamed of while paying everyone involved in the series a modest sum for their hard work.All the while, we've kept Wolf 359 completely ad free. While it took a long, long time for ads to even be an option, we felt it was important to keep the listening experience as uninterrupted as possible while we were actively publishing.Four years later, though, we see an opportunity to turn the modest sum we've been able to pay the people that made this series into a meaningful sum. We've never stopped looking for ways for all the talented humans responsible for Wolf 359 to share in its success. And with the series being downloaded more than ever, we feel that now is the time to run the great advertising experiment.And so, beginning on Wednesday, October 6th, you'll start to hear a minute or two of advertisements before the start and after the end of most episodes of Wolf 359. Some episodes may even contain mid-roll where we find an appropriate space for an ad break.We want to let you know this change is coming, and that the version of the feed you have now, much like the Hephaestus itself, is about to go through an overhaul. We also want you to know that we're running this experiment for one reason only: to get money into the hands of the amazing artists who worked on this show, both for their contributions to the series, and so they can all go make more amazing art in podcasting and beyond.If that's exciting to you, we'll be running a listener survey sometime in the next month and would really love your participation. It should only take about 5 minutes and will go a long way towards making this experiment a success. If you want to be notified when the survey is ready, just enter your email at www.wolf359.fm/survey and we'll drop you a line when it's hot off the press.And if you would like to help us do that and listen to the show without hearing any ads, well, the good news is: you can! Or… you will be able to real soon. We're working with Patreon to bring back our old creator page, where for just $1 a month, you will have access to an ad-free feed of Wolf 359. Keep an eye on this feed, as well as our Twitter page @Wolf359Radio for news on that front.Alright! That's all for now. As ever, thank you so much for listening.https://www.wolf359.fm/news/2021/10/5/the-great-advertising-experiment See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Hello Dear Listeners!  We are revisiting the Wolf 359 feed for a very special, very exciting announcement! The creative team behind Wolf 359 has just released a brand-new audio fiction fantasy series called Unseen.  The premise behind the show is simple: in a world where magic is real but invisible to almost everyone, the few magical beings that do exist struggle, every day, just to be seen. We're very proud of this new series, and so we wanted share the first episode with all of you. We hope you enjoy "Never-Ending Circles," written and directed by Gabriel Urbina, the creator of Wolf 359!  And if you do enjoy this first installment, and you can check out the rest of Unseen at www.Unseen.Show.

The creative team behind Wolf 359 is fundraising to make a new audio fiction show! There's less than 48 hours left on the clock, so if you'd like to help, now's the moment to visit www.unseen.show!

Hello Dear Listeners!  We're popping back into the Wolf 359 feed for a quick special announcement! Gabriel Urbina, Sarah Shachat, and Zach Valenti, the creative team behind Wolf 359, are making a new audio fiction show! It's called Unseen, and it's an urban fantasy series!  They're fundraising for the show on Kickstarter right now, and it would mean the world to them if you could help them make the show a reality. Whether it's by pledging whatever bit of loose change feels right to you or helping to spread the word about the campaign, every little bit makes a massive difference in making this new series a reality.  We're very excited about this new series, and we think it'll be amazing, but don't just take our word for it! Check out this teaser trailer for Unseen, the latest show from Long Story Short Productions.  Written and Directed by: Gabriel Urbina & Sarah Shachat Performed by: Zach Valenti Sound Designed by: Zach Valenti Featuring Open Your Eyes by Alon Peretz.  Thank you for listening! 

Hello Dear Listeners!  We're re-activating the Wolf 359 feed for a very special announcement from the man of a thousand voices himself, Zach Valenti. The creative team behind Wolf 359 has just released a brand-new audio drama anthology series called Zero Hours.  We think it's pretty neat, and so we wanted share the first episode, which features a couple other voices you're probably familiar with...  We hope you enjoy, and you can check out the rest of Zero Hours at www.zerohourspodcast.com. 

Faced with yet another affront to his dignity, Communications Officer Eiffel expresses his frustrations the only way he knows how - through the miracle of radio.  Written by Zach Valenti, Sarah Shachat, and Gabriel Urbina. Directed by Gabriel Urbina. Performed by Zach Valenti and Emma Sherr-Ziarko. Original music by Alan Rodi. Originally commissioned by Spoke. 

Forced to deal with the unique challenge of figuring out how to put on a space suit, Communications Officer Eiffel does his best to break it down into small, manageable steps. Written by Zach Valenti, Sarah Shachat, and Gabriel Urbina. Directed by Gabriel Urbina. Performed by Zach Valenti. Original music by Alan Rodi. Originally commissioned by Spoke. 

Communications Officer Eiffel explores the far reaches of the Hephaestus, and goes on a journey like no other. Written by Zach Valenti, Sarah Shachat, and Gabriel Urbina. Directed by Gabriel Urbina. Performed by Zach Valenti. Original music by Alan Rodi. Originally commissioned by Spoke. 

It's been one year since the release of our finale episode! To commemorate the occasion, we are finally releasing the full version of Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure and Protocol Manual, as well as three new mini episodes. Happy Holidays!

Well... it's been a while.  Can you believe almost a full year has gone by since the end of Wolf 359? Saying that feels very surreal to all of us at Kinda Evil Genius HQ. And lately a lot of people have been asking us: what has everyone on the cast and crew been working on lately?  Honestly? A lot of stuff. New audio dramas! New talk shows! Getting advanced degrees! Modeling! Adventures in the world of tech! Big writing projects! Experimental cross-media performance art! Landscape architecture! So! Much! Stuff! But seriously: when we stopped to take stock of how much cool work folks were doing, we thought it might nice to share the latest from the team with all of you. So fire up the old podcasting apps, and join Doug Eiffel himself, Zach Valenti, for a whirlwind update on what some of the cast and crew have been up to this year.

Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains violence and the use of firearms. Listener discretion is advised. Our finale episode. Faced with a choice between finally going home and stopping Pryce and Cutter's master plan, the crew of the Hephaestus heads towards their final confrontation with their enemies, their past selves, and each other. Plus, the Doug Eiffel Fastball Special, the lies we tell ourselves, another bad plan, cool stuff with robots, and one day more.

Before you dive into our finale episode, one last quick announcement from the show's producers. Thank you to everyone for three and a half amazing years!

Mission Mishaps, entry eight. SI-5 surveillance log. Entry #CRT004. Maxwell and Jacobi try to talk their way out of a mandatory assignment.

Investigative reporter Andrea Nash is having a very good day. She's flown halfway around the world on a very special assignment: an exclusive interview with Marcus Cutter, the infamous Director of Communications for Goddard Futuristics. It's a shot at journalism greatness, and Nash intends to make the most of it. But as she gets closer and closer to unearthing the earth-shaking story she's after, her subject gets more and more defensive... and starts considering more radical means of eliminating the unwanted attention. Plus, terrors to work for, a big, honking private plane, the charms of analog recorders, things no monkey could ever manage, and the fiery intensity of a thousand burning suns.

Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains instances of violence and use of firearms. Listener discretion is advised. With the wayward pod successfully recovered but Doctor Pryce still in the hands of the rebellious crew, Cutter must find a way to defuse an explosive hostage situation. Will the uneasy truces formed during the state of emergency last long enough for both sides to reach a diplomatic compromise? Or will Cutter and his operatives resort to more... extreme measures in an attempt to give the conflict a more permanent solution? Plus, a homecoming of sorts, supportive company culture, rashness, impulsivity, and a hell of a sunset. 

Mission Mishaps, Entry Seven. SI-5 Surveillance Log. Entry #FRD916. Kepler and Jacobi try to keep themselves entertained during a stakeout.

Trapped with Kepler and Pryce on board a jettisoned pod from the Sol, Eiffel and Minkowski must find a way to avoid all manner of imminent death. Before too long, a delicate truce has been struck, as both sides try to find a way out of their predicament. But how long can a fragile ceasefire last in such a volatile situation? And will their respective allies on the Hephaestus come to the rescue... or throw yet another monkey-wrench into the proceedings? Plus, signature looks, Chinny-Chin-Chins, limited vocabularies, very motivational singing, and the "Life Ruiner of the Year" competition!

Mission Mishaps, Entry Six. Hephaestus Log #TRK536. Day five hundred and fifty-three. Eiffel takes the lead on cooking dinner for the crew's second Thanksgiving on the Hephaestus.

Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains instances of violence and body horror. Listener discretion is advised. Having freed themselves from Pryce's mind control, Eiffel, Minkowski, Hera, Lovelace, and Jacobi need to come up with a plan for how to escape from the Hephaestus. But their new scheme will force them to face a formidable challenge: getting through the Sol's security system, an obstacle unlike any they have ever faced before. Plus, nice blunt objects, partial intelligence, mischief specialists, traumatized breaking down, and the creepiest place in the star system.

Mission Mishaps, Entry Five. Hephaestus Log #WYL320. Day four hundred and eighty-seven. Eiffel reads scary stories and hears something in the dark.

Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains violence. Listener discretion is advised. Part two of two. Newly released from Pryce's mental control, Eiffel works with Lovelace and Hera to try to save the rest of the crew. But as the situation becomes more and more volatile - and as their enemies get more and more suspicious - will the communications officer be able to retain his newfound freedom? Plus, commemorative plaques, security breaches, crossed wires, dexterous digits, and a fireworks show from the perspective of the fireworks. 

Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains disturbing content. Listener discretion is advised. Part one of two. With the crew brainwashed into doing their bidding and Hera forced to comply with her creator's wishes, Pryce and Cutter seem to be in complete control of the Hephaestus. But when a a small flaw in their plan and an unexpected opportunity present themselves, will Lovelace be able to fight back against Command and their agents? Plus, small island nations, friendly faces, new recurring nightmares, ice cream scoopers, and slow, painful, entirely avoidable deaths. 

Mission Mishaps, entry four. Hephaestus Log #NOL858. Day 411. Eiffel ventures into the greenhouse.

Mission Mishaps, entry three. Hephaestus Log #WME389. Day three-hundred and seventy-two. Eiffel encounters a stowaway.

Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains disturbing content, threats of violence, and firearms. Listener discretion is advised. Following Eiffel's sudden disappearance, Minkowski and the crew work overtime to try to locate their missing Communications Officer. But when they instead make contact with Command agents en route to the station, the team must make some very difficult decisions about how to handle this new threat. Plus, hands-on work, very slim chances, the kill squad, participation awards, and the image of God. 

Mission Mishaps, Entry Two. Hephaestus Mission Log #KWE824. Day 202. Eiffel tries to avoid his daily chores around the station. 

Slowly floating towards Wolf 359, untethered and separated from everyone else on the crew, Officer Eiffel tries a radical approach to solving the aliens' riddle. However, it's only a matter of time before he realizes the situation might be more complicated, more unpredictable, and more dangerous than he ever imagined. Plus, a place where the sidewalk ends, very necessary drama, the immortal words of Marvin Gaye, a momentary road bump, and the express train to Grand Central.

Mission Mishaps, Entry One. Hephaestus Formal Complaint #ARB062. Day 510. Eiffel tries to boost the crew's morale with a bit of sonic artistry appreciation.

This episode of Wolf 359 contains discussions of violence and death. Listener discretion is advised.    When Eiffel picks up signs of a transmission from deep space just hours before Hera's scheduled to go through an internal reset, the crew is divided on whether he should attempt to pursue it or not. But with only the autopilot for backup and an unexpected threat waiting in the wings, they soon discover they're more vulnerable than any of them realize. Plus, above average chimpanzees, horrifying threats of bodily mutilation, Plan C, rules of project management, and elaborate pranks to teach important lessons. 

Following the fiasco that was his latest attempt at radio journalism, Officer Eiffel has retreated away from the crew, working long hours by himself. Things take a turn for the worse, however, when a dangerous gas is accidentally released throughout the station. Quarantined in Hilbert's old lab while Hera works to undo the environmental damage, the crew and their prisoners resorts to increasingly desperate means to stave off boredom, slow-simmering resentments, and Eiffel's growing insecurities about his place on the Hephaestus. Plus, tragic accidents, slight malfunctions, Franken-Nouveau decor, interjection-y glory, and a complete lack of moral compass.

Space Monkey Radio proudly presents U.F.Overview: a new series that offers in-depth analysis on the possibility of alien contact, and explores the complex realities of communicating with non-terrestrial beings. What do we know? How do we know it? When will we know that what we're trying to know is something we can know? Join our two intrepid co-hosts as they ponder these questions. Plus, archive recordings, hapless civilians, nine-dimensional formats, the world's suckiest pleasure cruise, and the forefront of evil in thirty-two different star systems.

It’s been a few weeks since the crew aborted repairs on the Urania, and they are no closer to figuring out how to satisfy the aliens' mysterious demands. If only they had someone on board who shared some sort of connection with these beings... But convincing Captain Lovelace to try and reach out to the alien presence for answers is only half the battle - they will have to really think outside the box in order to make contact. Plus, Borg network action, intergalactic twenty questions, Ouija boards, the Avatar State, and purely academic curiosity.

With the end of the Urania's repairs in sight, the crew is throwing all their energy into one final push. But as the finish line inches closer, Captain Lovelace begins to notice something strange. Work is mysteriously getting undone each morning, and certain events seem to be repeating themselves day in and day out. What is happening? And why does no one else seem to notice? Plus, hydraulic horsepower, horrific manipulation, highly unlikely events, the sledgehammer approach, and Hephaestus Crisis Dog Years.

Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains mentions of violence, death, and suicide. Listener discretion is advised. As Eiffel, Minkowski, Hera, and Lovelace try to decide how to allocate their limited resources, Kepler finally reveals some of Goddard Futuristics's most deeply held secrets. Before the crew can consider the existential implications of these revelations, however, they'll need to deal with their own growing fears, insecurities, and personal conflicts. Plus, snake-filled pits, educated guesses, paradigm shifts, impractical human emotions, and the remainder of our musical program. Tonight's episode features Julia Morizawa in the role of Commander Zhang. It also features The Waltz of the Flowers, by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky.

Eiffel and Minkowski listen in on a tense discussion.

Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains violence. Listener discretion is advised. The crew of the Hephaestus's day just got a whole lot worse. The funeral they were holding was interrupted by one of the deceased seemingly coming back to life, their station is being battered by radiation, and Hera has gone offline. And - oh yes - the alien contact event they've been hearing so much about has only just started. It's going to take everything the beleaguered team has to weather the storm, deal with the two enemy prisoners in their midst, and come to grips with what's happened to Captain Lovelace. Plus, a chain reaction, trash duty, cool dental plans, the sacred tradition of "Nose Goes," and why we get into trouble. 

Please be advised this episode of Wolf 359 contains violence. Listener discretion is advised. Captain Lovelace, commanding officer of the U.S.S. Hephaestus Station, is not having a great week. She's butting heads with Communications Officer Lambert, her pedantic second-in-command. Doctors Hui and Fourier, her astrophysicists, seem more interested in an upcoming stellar flare than in basic station safety. Her engineer, Fisher, is getting fed up with the constant bickering, and her chief science officer, Doctor Selberg, isn't exactly... dependable. But things really take a turn for the worse when her superiors at Command decide it's time to put her crew through a very special training exercise, one carefully tailored to get under their skin. Lovelace, Lambert, and the rest of the crew must come together if they hope to make it through the longest, strangest, and most dangerous day of their expedition so far. Plus, apoplectic fugue states, emotional decision-making, corporate acid trips, never-before-seen attractions, and work of real substance.

As Eiffel, Minkowski, and Hera reel from the results of their mutiny, it soon becomes clear that even worse dangers might be right around the corner. With everyone's psyche in a delicate state and the chances of survival mounting against them, the crew has to decide how to spend their last hours before the alien contact event. Plus, the Grand Ol' Opry, ooga-booga, evolution, the oncoming alien-pocalypse, and getting by with some help from your friends. 

This episode of Wolf 359 contains gun violence. Listener discretion is advised. Part two of two. The crew desperately tries to salvage their mutiny and escape the wrath of the SI-5. But as both sides try to out-maneuver each other, the danger of drastic actions causing irreparable damage becomes more and more pronounced. Plus, the hands of the enemy, disciplinary tools, recreational monster hunting, warning shots, and disgusting pieces of human garbage.

Part one of two. Still reeling from recent revelations, the crew plans to neutralize Colonel Kepler and the SI-5. But it's not long before different factions insist on conflicting ways to overcome their enemies - and about the level of force the situation calls for. Plus, clinical descriptions, war crime fuel, different approaches to weasel-popping, situations of absolutely elephantine proportions, and a lovely set of steak knives.

With just over a day left before the long-anticipated alien contact event, Colonel Kepler keeps the crew working overtime to get the Hephaestus ready for anything - and everything - that might happen. As they work around the clock, however, the crew finds that Wolf 359's turbulent air space and a side project of Doctor Hilbert's might offer some unique challenges and some unexpected opportunities. Plus, Q-branch gizmos, Santa's Workshop, studly, manly things, bedtime reading, and the latest in Hephaestus Fashion. 

In order to better study the properties of an incoming solar storm, Eiffel, Lovelace, Jacobi, and Maxwell are assigned to collect data on board a small experimental module. Separated from the Hephaestus and the rest of the crew for four days, they must find ways to occupy their minds and stave off boredom. But as time goes by and the storm draws closer, they soon discover that their expedition may be more exciting than they expected. Plus, responsible scientific surveys, vaguely horrific people, Cthulhu, episodes of The Twilight Zone, and doing things by the book.