POPULARITY
Advocating for yourself when experiencing harm in the workplace can be hard and confusing, but it can also open the door to something so much better. In this episode, Whitney sits down with Noris Chavarria, a queer, gay, Latino, consultant and coach to discuss Noris's experience with self-advocacy.In this powerful episode, Noris shares his experience feeling subject to harassment based on his sexual orientation and documented new diagnosis of ADHD. Facing an environment fraught with bullying, and where is request for reasonable accommodations were denied, Noris was compelled to take legal action and eventually leave his job.Noris opens up about the emotional toll of dealing with his workplace, the barriers he faced in seeking legal remedies, and the journey towards his newfound mission: empowering others who face similar struggles. He discusses the complexities of navigating employment law, even in California, and the importance of support programs for those feeling marginalized and unheard.Listeners will gain invaluable insights into Noris's path to advocacy and entrepreneurship through his consulting and coaching business, Noris Knows, which serves LGBTQ+ individuals and people of color. Whitney and Noris also explore the broader implications of systemic workplace issues on mental and physical health and the importance of recognizing personal autonomy.This episode is part of our anti-discrimination mini-series and shines a light on the lack of legal protections in workplace bullying cases and the various barriers people experience when attempting to find support and legal protection. Although what Noris experienced may not amount to legal harassment or discrimination (we don't know), his experiences led to workplace trauma that had very real impact on his health, mental health, and his capacity to work in the environment. Part of the trouble is meeting a legal standard of proof required to show harassment or discrimination occurred. For this reason, when possible it can be helpful to speak to advocates and attorneys to learn about how we can best support ourselves, and to get help navigating these systems. Make sure to tune in to episodes 49 and 51 to learn more about how advocates and attorneys can help, and what to do to prepare for this type of experience. Don't miss this episode of the "Impostrix Podcast," available now on the Alive podcast network app.Connect with Noris on IG @queercompass and @SocialArtivista, and at www.norisknows.com. Follow us on Instagram and Facebook @ImpostrixPodcast for the latest updates and join our conversation.Listen ad-free by subscribing to Impostrix Podcast on the ALIVE Podcast App.Thanks Chris @DigitalREM for editing this episode!
Lesbian Strength March, Sept 14, Leeds https://lesbianstrength.org/lesbian-strength-2024/Deadloch https://www.amazon.co.uk/Deadloch-Season-1/dp/B0BYKCPM4K (UK site)Pomegranates are a sapphic icon https://www.heyalma.com/pomegranates-are-a-sapphic-jewish-icon/ Half of LGBT people bullied at work https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/lgbt-work-bullying-gay-law-b2602522.htmlhttps://www.tuc.org.uk/sites/default/files/2024-08/LGBT_Sexual_Harassment_Report_2024.pdf Academic article of the week https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Adam-Davies-19/publication/383201151_My_Heart_is_My_Head_Mad-Femme_Romantic_Assemblages_in_Queer_Men's_Socio-Sexual_Applications/links/66c0d82f145f4d355361f12b/My-Heart-is-My-Head-Mad-Femme-Romantic-Assemblages-in-Queer-Mens-Socio-Sexual-Applications.pdf This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.thelesbianprojectpod.com/subscribe
Exclusive Patron-only Content Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Bullying at work is a pervasive issue that affects the well-being and productivity of employees. To effectively handle this problem, it is crucial to adopt certain strategies. Firstly, individuals should maintain open communication with their colleagues and superiors. Victims can seek support and raise awareness about bullying incidents by expressing concerns about bullying incidents. Secondly, documenting instances of bullying is essential for building a strong case against the perpetrator. This evidence can be used when reporting the incident to higher authorities or human resources departments. Additionally, seeking professional help from counselors or therapists can provide victims with emotional support and guidance on how to cope with workplace bullying. Lastly, organizations must implement strict anti-bullying policies and conduct regular training sessions to educate employees about respectful behavior in the workplace. By following these steps, individuals can create a safer work environment free from bullying. Follow me on IG: https://www.instagram.com/angelydub/ Follow Life in Progress on IG: https://www.instagram.com/lifeinprogressph/ Follow me on Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@angelydub Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Join us as we converse with the influential Bonnie Low-Kramen, TEDx speaker, bestselling author, and advocate against workplace bullying. Beyond office walls, her son Adam reveals the profound impact of bullying within the home. From Bonnie's global advocacy to Adam's recollection as a son and current perspective as a father, this episode delves deep into the profound ripple effects of bullying across work and family dynamics. A poignant exploration of a pressing issue with insights on healing and hope.Learn more about Bonnie's anti-bullying work at https://www.bonnielowkramen.com. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Let's stay connected:Website: carolmuleta.comIG: @the_parenting_411TikTok: @theparenting411Facebook: The Parenting 411YouTube: The Parenting 411 on YouTube
In this episode I will be adding to the previous financial literacy episode ‘Financial Nakedness' https://open.spotify.com/episode/3l7O845zB2GEAX9haPozSr?si=1V8ht_96TcGUIDNdnsw09wSponsorships - Email me: hello@toyatalks.com TikTok: toya_washington Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalksPodcast) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks www.toyatalks.comhttps://toyatalks.com/
Dear Friends❤❤, Hope you are doing fantastic. I wish you for your happy life
Relationships at Work - the Employee Experience and Workplace Culture Podcast
In this episode of Relationships at Work, Russel chats with culture consultant and wellness counsellor Rita Chand on what bullying in the workplace feels like, looks like and what we can do about it.Rita shares her thoughts, stories and experience with...The reaction when you don't realize you're being bullied.The various forms of bullying.What covert bullying can look like.The changing perception of bullying.What the personal toll of being bullied feels like.How organizations can work to address bullying.If you enjoy the podcast, please subscribe and share with others.For more, go to relationshipsatwork.ca If you enjoy the podcast, please subscribe and share with others.For more, go to relationshipsatwork.ca And connect with me for more great content! Sign Up for R@W Notes Subscribe on Youtube Follow on Linkedin Follow on Instagram Email me anytime
In this week's episode we're talking about the often silent and insidious issue of workplace bullying and what we can each do about it. ***Content warning: emotional, physical and psychological abuse. Our guest today is Jessica Hickman whose own experience with severe workplace bullying ended in hospitalisation. Now Jess is the founder of Bullology and equips leaders and individuals with the tools to create safer workplaces free of bullying and harassment.If listening to this episode does bring up anything for you please speak to your GP and check out some mental health resources here.
I started listening to your circles material after being introduced to it by my friend Ines. I have the membership so now slowly exploring the other content as well. Ive done years (decades) of meditation and non duality work and been in therapy my whole adult life, yet I feel like I always come back to this reality of my life right here and now. I haven't been able to figure out exactly the circle I am in - I find myself in a repeating pattern of retraumatisation through work. Every job I take I end up being bullied, undermined and not paid for fairly for my work as promised. It feels like betrayal, I am very good at my job but there is no recognition or reward. I feel my very survival is threatened because I grew up poor and earning money is my route to safety, self esteem and being able to take care of myself without being dependent on anyone else. I just left an abusive job in New York (was there over 5 years) and moved to London and ended up in an even more dysfunctional and abusive situation than before. Its nuts. Meanwhile I am terrified of looking for another job and I am equally DESPERATE to get out of this place I find myself in. I also find my inner creativity is dried up - for example I used to want to start a business or help the homeless but I can't act and I feel totally stuck. I have never grown or thrived at work - I have never been successful. When the last cycle of trauma and abuse happened at work it was only 4 months after joining the company from Aug-Dec. I had high hopes for this job - searching for a feeling of engagement and enjoyment at work. It was such a shock to my system to go through the same abuse again that I felt like giving up on life. I have since regained my perspective and been able to detach but something still feels raw inside. I have spent years doing inner child work, feeling feelings facing trauma etc. yet I feel none of it helped otherwise I would not have found myself in this same job / worse abusive situation than before. I am 46 and have been working since I was 22 years old. In addition, I am recognizing from your talk that I have limited my life for safety - I don have a partner nor many friends nor a social life - I work and then scuttle home to be with my dog with whom I feel safe. I think safety is a huge theme but not sure how to deal with it. I am currently working with a counsellor with whom I feel my inner child feelings and face them every two weeks or so. The rest of the time I am trying to be more conscious of triggers but instead find myself doing things like drinking half a bottle of wine or watching mindless telly but not sure what I am escaping from. I am not sure how to identify the circle I am in nor the nub of the issue. And I certainly dont know how to let go of the doer. Despite years of zen meditation and seeing and near finding the self I feel it is very much in charge.
Tammy Dunnett is an ex-target of workplace bullying turned communication coach and CEO of Relationship Revolution. Her goal is to change the way ‘relationship' is done and she helps others confidently handle difficult conversations so they can create better connections and emerge with their relationship intact. Social media and contact information: Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/MyRelationshiprevolution/ Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/conquerconflictnow IG: https://www.instagram.com/tammy.dunnett/ LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tammy-dunnett/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TammyDunnett TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tammy.dunnett YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgYZQ5EnOEmosbglZhuRxyg --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/damagedparents/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/damagedparents/support
Being bullied at work is horrible. Bullying saps confidence, your focus on work, your time, and your motivation. Even worse is not doing anything. This give a bully free reign which is likely to mean the bullying continues or gets worse. This will not help your happiness, nor your motivation nor performance at work. You will learn 7 steps to tackle bullying at work, to give you confidence and knowledge of what steps you can and should take. Just check that you are the victim of workplace bullying rather than honest mistakes. Bullying at work is the repeated behaviour intended to hurt or control you. If you are being bullied the actions to stop bullying at work include: The first step to tackle bullying at work is to check your company policy so you know what processes the company should follow and what protections you are entitled to. The second set of actions to tackle bullying at work is to gather examples and evidence. This is crucial to how to stop bullying in the workplace. Bullying behaviour is usually subtle (68% of cases) so being able to demonstrate a clear pattern of bullying behaviour is super important. The next step in how to deal with a bully at work is to have an informal conversation. Book a meeting room and invite the bully to meet with you. Showing a bully that you are not going to accept the bullying tactics is a good way to get them to stop. The fourth step to tackle bullying at work is to speak to your manager. Your manager should be a great source of help and support, plus they have greater power and influence within the business and can bring this to bear in stopping bullying in the workplace. Fifth, in how to deal with a bully at work – find allies. Those at or above the level of the bully can be very useful allies. Multiple people pressurising a bully to stop has more impact that one. If these steps have not yet worked, escalate the bullying situation to HR and to Senior Management. This takes how to deal with a bully at work to a much more formal setting, increasing the pressure on the bully to stop.Finally, you can escalate the bullying at work externally to lawyers and tribunals. This is usually a final stage and can be needed if your manager is the bully. If a manager is the bully, which accounts for more than half the bullying cases in the workplace, then these steps still work. Build stronger evidence and work harder at finding allies to help negate a manager's great influence and power within an organisation. Good luck!
Knowing how to spot bullying on your team as a manager is super useful. Bullying is very damaging to team motivation and performance. Bullying is very tough for those on the receiving end of being bullying behaviour. Not doing anything about bullying – through ignorance, not knowing what to do or being unwilling to act – is very damaging to your reputation and standing as a manager. Many signs of a bully at work are subtle and therefore hard to spot. This makes the job of spotting bullying in the workplace a lot harder. Identifying workplace bullying is even harder because may other issues can produce similar symptoms in employees being bullied. How to spot bullying as a manager is a crucial first step. To help you, this video takes you through 5 symptom behaviours of employees being bullied, and 17 tactics used by those bullying at work. One of the most critical things to do for how to spot bullying in the workplace is to make the time to observe what is happening around you and check to make sure there are no signs of workplace bullying. Once you have spotted signs of bullying at work and investigated, then knowing how to deal with bullying at work is the next step. It is super important to take action as quickly as possible. At the end of this video, I take you through a few tips on how to tackle bullying in the workplace. Bullying is a horrible thing to have to suffer at any point in your life. Make it as hard as possible for bullies to successfully bully other team members. Unfortunately, many bullies at work are managers. Managers hold positions of responsibility and have more power and influence within the business as a result. It is easier for them to overstep the mark and engage in bullying behaviour. Keep an eye on your team members to make sure that they are not being bullied by other managers in the business. Having regularly one-on-one meetings gives you a great platform to discuss these types of issues and demonstrate your support for them. Do your best to stop bullying in the workplace.
ACAS gives employees and employers free impartial advice and mediation on workplace disputes, employment rights, and best practices. ACAS must be used before approaching an employment tribunal. The view is that an employment tribunal must be used as the last resort and therefore ACAS provides a service of mediation to find a compromise in a workplace disputes. In the event that a compromise cannot be found and a Claimant has exhausted a grievance process and therefore not found a resolution through ACAS, a Claimant can take an employment matter to an Employment Tribunal.In this episode I will be discussing my friend's case which we took to ACAS I managed to negotiate an out-of-court settlement for her of nearly £50k and renegotiated the terms of that settlement which included:Payment within 7 daysA tax-Free settlement with all tax liability to be fully paid by her employer to HMRCPayment of 10 therapy sessionsAgreed wording for an employment reference Letter of retraction and an apology in writing for a false accusation made during the course of her employment.Payment in lieu of notice to enable her to leave this employment on full pay for 3 months.We will be using her employment dispute as a case study for this episode.https://www.acas.org.uk/*This episode also includes x2 dilemmas Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalksPodcast) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks YouTube: At Home With Toya https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbXlRNLSYLuA9GbPB8cUYvQ www.toyatalks.com https://toyatalks.com/
The passive-aggressive inverted commas in emails create the tension the author intended. The use of inverted commas as a microaggression is used to reinforce one's position and to provoke a response from you. In this episode, we also discuss my most recent boss reapplying for a role she has been doing for almost 2 years *This Episode also includes x2 dilemmasApologise for the disruption to the audio. We are replacing our Apple Mac for a greater podcast listing experience. - Back to regular programming next week.Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalksPodcast) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks YouTube: At Home With Toya https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbXlRNLSYLuA9GbPB8cUYvQ www.toyatalks.com https://toyatalks.com/
In the workplace, I have long accepted that there is no such thing as a perfect job or workplace. Workplaces often thrive in toxicity breeding fear and control. I will always seek balance and peace because no workplace is perfect.In this episode, I discuss and conclude Florence who decided to attempt to discredit me and called into question my integrity her sole motivation was to abuse her position because she does not like consultants. After a Letter Before Action.....The organisation has agreed on an out-of-court settlement. Our greatest superpower is being underestimated.Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalksPodcast) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks YouTube: At Home With Toya https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbXlRNLSYLuA9GbPB8cUYvQ www.toyatalks.com https://toyatalks.com/
In this episode, I challenge you to have agency over your career it requires you to accept that the work structure is created to ensure you rely on your organisations and managers to validate you through promotions and/or bonuses. Having agency over your life and career means you operate and see the world of work as transactional and when a workplace has served in achieving your objectives you move on and build on your career. You do not require permission to do so or operate in guilt via a form of displaced loyalty to an organisation or manager who is committed to keeping you stagnant in a position that only serves them and therefore oppresses your ability to grow and attain success and the financial benefits of that success. Understanding the work hustle requires you to first understand that the work Hustle Is Sold Separately. We will also be discussing the Fawcett Report into 'Women of Colour' experiencing racism in the workplace.Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalksPodcast) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks YouTube: At Home With Toya https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbXlRNLSYLuA9GbPB8cUYvQ www.toyatalks.comhttps://toyatalks.com/
In order to recognise what brings you peace you have to know and understand your non-negotiables.In the workplaces often white-dominated where we Black Women are often in the minority what does peace look like? Workplaces are often anxiety-driven toxic places so peace is often a myth, but when we are clear on our non-negotiables we must be in a place and position to communicate them even if it means using the system to do so because that in itself is our pursuit of PEACE!*This episode includes x1 dilemma.Credits:Opening segment from 'Know For Sure Podcast'.Referenced episode from the Toya Talks Podcast 'Not Every Battle Is Your Destiny To Fight' - Season 2 Ep 44Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalksPodcast) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks YouTube: At Home With Toya https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbXlRNLSYLuA9GbPB8cUYvQ www.toyatalks.com https://toyatalks.com/
This is a dilemma episode covering x3 dilemmas. This episode includes views of the death of Kevin Samuels.Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalksPodcast) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks YouTube: At Home With Toya https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbXlRNLSYLuA9GbPB8cUYvQ www.toyatalks.com https://toyatalks.com/
What part of the working world is the worst part?..... I would say the first day would feature in the top 3. Trying to assert yourself without appearing overbearing, not knowing when to speak or if you should, trying to remember people's names, trying to create a good impression..... being seen. Being a consultant is completely out of my preferred comfort zone having to start again over and over again for each assignment. This has proven to be a much-needed challenge learning to start over, and perform my due diligence taking into account all the previous learning lessons from previous roles. Black Women we are seen they choose not to see us but they soon realise we are here to stay as long as we choose to.Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalksPodcast) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks YouTube: At Home With Toya https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbXlRNLSYLuA9GbPB8cUYvQ www.toyatalks.com https://toyatalks.com/
Blackexit - when we choose to exit the oppressive limiting beliefs created by society to keep us in a chokehold but instead seek the environments that will give life to the greatness we want to manifest for ourselves.Email me: hello@toyatalks.comTwitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalksPodcast) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks YouTube: At Home With Toyahttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbXlRNLSYLuA9GbPB8cUYvQwww.toyatalks.comhttps://toyatalks.com/
I went against everything I believed in and put aside my stance and got my friend a job where I worked. This is not something I have ever done outside of my best friend who I have worked with several times before. - For several months I felt like a hypocrite.This person was a close friend who had been unemployed for 12 months, she told me this in the middle of the pandemic where the roles in my sector were slower than usual due to covid. I went against my better judgment I went against my personal views on this I couldnt reconcile myself with the fact that I was less of a friend for not knowing my close friend was struggling and unemployed and had been for an entire year when I had the contacts and opportunities to get her a role. I had this overwhelming feeling of guilt. I went against everything I believe in, my better judgment and I took a risk.... it was my biggest regret of 2021. My gut and my stance however strict never fails me. I felt that my emotional need to cover my friend blindsided me. I also allowed myself to be manipulated and rather than asking myself 'why had she beeen unemployed for 12 months in a boyant market pre pandemic'. Sometimes things happen to remind you why you have taken a stance on a subject or topic, sometimes we are reminded that you have to make difficult decisions which may make you feel bad but there comes a point where you have to give yourself permission to put your mental well being and yourself first. I recognise in myself the flaws in my character, especially when I feel responsible to save people especially friends. It is a burden brought about from my trauma with my mother, where I needed her to save me, to be there for me to cover me and she did not. She did not afford me the covering needed from her. I also now realise she did not have the capacity or the tools to cover me in the way I needed. I then carried the unresolved issues and burdened myself with wanting to save others. I have discussed this extensively with my therapist and sat in the feelings of feeling betrayed, disappointed and let down. I know where my responsibility sits, I also recognise that this big L is my learning lesson to carry as a reminder that friendship does not extend to trying to save someone, that is not my role. My role as a friend is to be supportive and encourage my friends to save themselves. Being a good friend is not measured by your ability to find a solution sometimes it is ok to support your friend to find the solution for themselves. I have forgiven myself for the silly decision I made for going against my principals and I am also celebrating the liberation from the burden. I have learned the lessons and hope you can learn from me and do better.Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalksPodcast) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks YouTube: At Home With Toyahttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbXlRNLSYLuA9GbPB8cUYvQwww.toyatalks.comhttps://toyatalks.com/
I recently received a dilemma from a Black Queen. Her performance in her role has been 10/10. She has maintained a 'Feedback Folder' which supports her overall performance. She has achieved all objectives to a high standard and continues to grow within the organisation. Within her performance review documentation, her line manager sought to use the Performance review document to 'humble her'. Her Line Manager added false, misleading, and detrimental feedback in her performance review document and when challenged has been bullying our fellow Black Queen to sign the document and therefore effectively agreed with the information knowing it is untrue. When challenged she was told 'it isn't a big deal, it isn't serious, and should challenge her within her role. How can our fellow Black Queen sign a document with false information that will then be kept in her HR file know that the information is untrue and without merit.In this episode, we discuss the above and also how she has now had to file a grievance complaint. However, this has not been straightforward. Our sis despite my advice was influenced by her trade union rep and has now effectively found herself in a position where she has no leverage, shown her cards too early, she is now effectively is being managed out because she did not manage this situation and found herself conflicted. In that conflict, she was influenced by other voices and none of those voices centers Black Women. Let's discuss.This episode includes x2 DilemmasEmail me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks www.toyatalks.com
This is a dilemma episode and I cover probation gone wrong. I also address learned helplessness which we are no longer tolerating. We cannot want more for you than you want for yourself.This Episode includes x3 DilemmasAs referenced in this episode, check out:#BlackInTheWorkSpace on Twitter (Twitter Space 8pm on Tuesdays)Referenced programs:Powerbook IIReady to LoveLadies who listEmail me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks YouTube Channel:At Home With Toya: https://www.youtube.com/c/AtHomeWithToyahttps://toyatalks.com/
Those ambiguous emails that arrive with no real detail but already your heart is sinking. Honestly, emails like this jarr me, if the chat is so quick call me then , why the mysterious cloak and dagger email? I've concluded that this is a form of control and a deliberate attempt to unnerve you. It catches you off guard and you enter these 'quick chats' before you know it's an ambush a meeting with you, HR, and your boss discussing an issue or matter you are unprepared for. Therefore, it is important we prepare within the limited information you have, this includes taking a notebook, taking notes of key points, and not allowing yourself to be encouraged to answer questions or comment without the opportunity to properly reflect. 'I didn't realise that this was the topics to be covered in this quick chat, I would prefer to come back to you on this point.' In this episode, I also discuss permission culture in the workplace, permission to use the toilet, permission to take annual leave, permission to exist in peace. We are working adults we are past the stages of requesting permission to do the basics this in itself perpetuates the control managers and organisations continually attempt to exercise, it's toxic, suffocating, unproductive and unhealthy. As referenced in this episode, check out:#BlackInTheWorkSpace on Twitter (Twitter Space 8pm on Tuesdays)Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks YouTube Channel: At Home With Toya: https://www.youtube.com/c/AtHomeWithToyahttps://toyatalks.com/
Following on from Season 2 Episode 36 'Self-Sabotage' Dear fellow Black Queens, most of us are on a constant journey of healing. With regards to the traumas in the workplace, we work through traumas in jobs in the next role. Can we discuss how we self-sabotage as a result of the trauma we have experienced? Self-sabotage:When we actively or passively take steps to prevent ourselves from reaching our goals.In this episode, I also reference a recent employment tribunal case. The appellant sued her employer for discrimination based on her belief that her employer forcing her to return to the office would put her at risk of catching covid. The judge ruled against her claim. Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks YouTube: At Home With Toya:https://www.youtube.com/c/AtHomeWithToya www.toyatalks.com
The first episode of the year 2022!I have been sick with Covid for almost 2 weeks and therefore unable to record. However, during this downtime, I have had time to think and reflect on the success, learning lessons, and areas of growth in 2021. This being said I share my experience of covid and how I dealt with work and being unable to work and how I set clear boundaries in communicating this. The reality of being a Black Woman and unwell is an experience, we are often dehumanised and not given the grace to be unwell. The Black Women are strong rhetoric is toxic when you do not give Black Women the grace to not be strong, where is the balance which is afforded to our white and non-black counterparts?In this episode, I also share my experience during covid with a colleague 'Graham' who despite being informed I had covid and was very sick still sought to email be to cause distress because again the thought of a Black Woman being unwell did not make sense to him. My thumbs dragged him because even in sickness we have to show up for ourselves.I also provide you with information regarding sickness policy that has changed and affects all organisations!Taking sick leavehttps://www.gov.uk/taking-sick-leaveBlack Women Are Winners Stationery Collaborationhttps://toyatalks.com/apparel/ Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks YouTube: At Home With Toyahttps://www.youtube.com/c/AtHomeWithToya www.toyatalks.com
In this episode we will be advising a queen on her resignation dilemma, including highlights and thoughts of last week.Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks and/or #ToyaTalksPodcast) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talkswww.toyatalks.comYouTube: At Home With Toya:https://www.youtube.com/c/AtHomeWithToya
In this episode, we discuss the recent treatment of Lani Good as she is policed and judged on her reaction to the situation with Tion Wayne. I also discuss Prince Williams's caucasity with regards to his outrageous claims about the growing populations in Africa.I recently watched 'King Richard' played by Will Smith charting the life (although partially) of the father of Venus and Serena Williams. The power of manifesting greatness and the determination and conviction and fearlessness required to walk the path of success. Mr Richard Williams had a plan, although the path to greatness was not clear he found a lane for his daughters and ensured they dominated, he produced world-class Black female tennis legends from Compton. Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talksYouTube: At Home With Toya https://www.youtube.com/c/AtHomeWithToya www.toyatalks.com
Integrity:-'the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.'Let's discuss further.*This episode includes x3 dilemmasEmail me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks www.toyatalks.com
Identity is what allows us to have a fundamental understanding of who we are. Race is part of that identity, what isn't discussed enough is misidentifying and then the long-term effects that flow from this.Love & Hip Hop Miami Season 4 Episode 10 & Episode 11 - The discussion of race is polarised when Shelah (who is Black passing identifies as Black but is mixed race) has a yearly Curly Curvey Conscious Retreat - creating healthy spaces for Black Women. The issue arises when she is questioned as to why her retreat is not inclusive of non-Black Women. I unpack this and further discuss the issue of identity and why Black Women are regularly questioned for creating spaces for Black Women. This being said there is a responsibility for Black Men to educate the non-Black Women they choose to create and/ or build a home with, that having children with Black Men does not mean they are raising Black Children, only Black Women Can Give Birth to Black Children. - Let's discuss.Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks www.toyatalks.com
Hi, my name is Toya and I have social anxiety.The irony here is people would debate with me and be unable to understand how being on one of the biggest reality shows, hosting shows, and public speaking that I couldn't suffer from social anxiety. There is also the assumption that if you are bold, confident, and direct this then precludes you from being socially anxious. Social anxiety includes having an overwhelming fear of social situations like meeting or speaking to people. One of the biggest issues is the perception. that someone who experiences social anxiety is rude when in fact it is often difficult to explain and in fact, what is being mistaken for rudeness is someone merely 'reacting to their symptoms. In this episode, we also discuss social anxiety in the workplace and how it manifests within different parts of our lives. - Let's discuss.This episode includes x3 dilemmas.Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks www.toyatalks.com
In the workplace how many of you feel comfortable saying NO. Do you know how to say no when your workload is too much to take on additional work and responsibilities? We have been conditioned to think saying no is obstructive, rude, and not collaborative, this is toxic. In this episode, we will be discussing how to push back and in turn, set boundaries and manage people's expectations, removing the myth that YES leads to visibility and recognition. I also share my recent experience of saying NO at work and how I used the workplace lingo to make clear that I cannot and will not break my back to take on additional work that then benefits others to my own detriment.PS White privilege made an appearance last week attempting to call me a name that doesn't below to me. Everyday labour, not everyday violenceWe also answer a dilemma regarding hybrid working and a company attempting to force a fellow Black Queen into allowing them to amend her employment contract to align to her colleagues who are hybrid workers. She is in fact a remote worker. - Let's discussEmail me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks www.toyatalks.com
We cannot talk about the world of work in isolation without discussing other aspects of our lives. We do not live to work we work to live.In this episode we talk about losing our identity in relationships and forgetting we stand as individuals first. Also, I cannot discuss the loss of identity and not touch on certain relationships that could have completely changed the trajectory of our lives. Dating someone and in some cases not knowing they have engaged in criminal activity. What is clear is that there are not enough conversations on this topic and every now and then here on the Toya Talks podcast we speak on these topics to allow us to have a holistic view of the life that we live. No ones life or decision is perfect in fact, we all are guilty of making questionable decisions. Lets discuss furtherEmail me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks www.toyatalks.com
Negotiation is a topic that I am passionate about because once I understood my value and the concept of leverage, I have been able to negotiate favorable contract terms including financial negotiations that have enabled me to navigate my career and climb the career ladder faster. I have also dedicated a chapter in my book to negotiation. (Book coming soon....)In this episode, we discuss a Black Queen who commenced negotiating her hourly rate but hit a roadblock when her prospective employer gave her a take it or leave it to offer. Her application of what she learned from the Toya Talks master class was wrong. - let's discuss!*For those of you who want to also follow me on my YouTube channel, I will be vlogging. Vlogs from November uploaded every Sunday. ‘At Home With Toya'.https://youtube.com/c/AtHomeWithToyaEmail me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks www.toyatalks.com
This is the taboo topic that has you thinking this is a you problem rather than appreciating that some of us do have mummy issues, we are shamed into silence and told we are the problem. I have lightly touched on this in previous episodes but haven't had the capacity to dedicate an episode to this topic. I had to speak to my therapist in advance of recording this, it is one thing speaking to my therapist and another recording a podcast but it's time and I know there are women who need to hear this. We are navigating life & workIn this episode, I discuss how mummy issues have dominated my life from how I saw myself to having to unlearn toxic behaviors and learn to recognise and address the flawed mother and daughter relationship society doesn't discuss enough. Culture and religion tell us our mother can do no wrong, recognising this thinking is wrong and toxic in itself. Not everyone has had or experienced the idyllic mother and daughter relationship. Many of us do not know what that feels like and some of us continue to crave some of us knowing accepting that this may not happen. I have been very honest with my journey with therapy in parenting the younger me. As I now sit in and navigate adulthood I am filled with disappointment that I was not enough and that I haven't had the mother daughter relationship my younger self craved and my adult self needed. Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks www.toyatalks.com
Following on from the last episode 'Closet Racist' we have the conclusion to my formal grievance complaint against Ronald McDonald.In this episode, we also discuss the outcome I was pursuing and understanding the difference between vengeance and karma. Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks www.toyatalks.com
Many think racism is overt and clear discriminatory language, it's easier to prove if racism is overt. However, we know it also exists in disadvantageous treatment. The UK is the architect of racism and is responsible for the evolution and protection of racism.Many organisations refuse to stand behind their race discrimination and equality policies but would rather maintain the facade of performative support. Leading on from Episode 75 (Season 2) 'No Caller ID', I submitted a formal written grievance complaint against Ronald McDonald on the following groundsRace DiscriminationSex DiscriminationHarassmentBullying Victimisation Bullying by coercion.I made sure to cc Ronald. In this episode, I read you the grievance complaint and explain the route I took and how HR sought to gaslight me. Despite the clear evidence, I had to ensure HR understood I was willing to go as far as I needed to address my treatment. Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks www.toyatalks.com
In this dilemma episode, we will be discussing x2 dilemmas.How to inform your employer that you are unwell and unable to work and in the case of the first dilemma unwell having caught covid. I use to have the mentality that I will work through my sickness to hold onto my job too afraid to call in sick to protect my job. But I soon realised if I dropped dead tomorrow my role will be advertised within 24 hours. In this global pandemic, it appears organisations are finding new ways to harass employees reporting sickness due to covid.Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks www.toyatalks.com
The suffering of Black Women is not the anthem of our existence. The last two weeks have been a lot and honestly, I recognise that whilst my current workplace is the gift that keeps on giving the gift is heavy.When we discuss workplace bullying we have a common understanding of the definition of bullying but do you realise that some of these racist white males we work with discriminate and harass and use bullying to further their pursuit of harassing you with the sole objective of breaking you. WHY? Because for them seeing a Woman and a what more a Black Woman in a senior position or Black Women excelling and doing well infuriates them to see us breaking their racist stereotypes and the ceiling of minimum wage. When we are plagued with the definition of strong Black Women we feel as though if we say something it makes us weak. No, we are tired of being punching bags for racist white men and women who get off on reminding Black Women that they own and control the structures we work in. There has been a shift in society we are calling out racism we are shaming the devil and we are tired. The last 2 weeks I have been bullied at work and the harassment and bullying have been all via email. No conversation voice or video exchanges just an email trail and if you know anything about me I have been building the burn folder keeping everything professional not taking the bait... then the ancestors showed up to defend their own. Ronald decided he wanted to die on the hill so we are going to war with my burn folder and email trail in tow. Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks www.toyatalks.com
It is not often that we discuss white MALE fragility. 'Kevin' like his 'Karen' counterpart operates in the same way but as many of our work constructs are white male-dominated their white fragility takes the form of aggression that seeks to dehumanise Black Women in a way that is both dangerous and harmful. In this episode, I discuss 'Kevin' and his labelling of me...., he called me a 'hound'. Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashingtonTikTok: toya_washington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks www.toyatalks.com
I have as many can relate, struggled with centering myself. This has often resulted in not celebrating my wins and then becoming uncomfortable in centering myself. We are never taught to recognise and celebrate our wins because we are preoccupied with the wounds we have endured on the journey.Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks www.toyatalks.com
'Why do white women always 'remind' Nick Minaj how nice & supportive they've been toward her. It's a white privilege power play. They expect her to be grateful & retaliate when she doesn't show the difference they expect. She has every right to check this behavior when it surfaces.' Tweeted by @craigspoplifeLet's discuss and break down what happened last week with Jessie J, it's time we discussed the need to remind us of your 'support' as a weapon to remind us how we got here or where we came from.P.S some of your allies are not allying, but instead using their one-time invite to the cookout as a license to keeping coming back eating all the food, and telling all our business.Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks www.toyatalks.com
Often the fear of standing up, speaking up, and challenging unfair treatment at work is layered in fear, fear of losing our jobs. The reality is very real that often a consequence of challenging poor behaviour and treatment leaves us vulnerable often with a target on our back to be managed out, sacked or made to feel so uncomfortable that you choose to leave. I will never pretend that speaking up doesn't come with risks but what is the alternative? Remaining silent and accepting oppression, bullying discrimination etc OR be strategic in how you speak up. I will always champion advocating for yourself and understanding how to do so safely. Whenever a Black Woman challenges racist structures we make ourselves a target but I put it to you that from the point we enter organisations we are targets and as we acquire experience, learn and grow we then become a moving target. Recently I opted not to speak up simply because I didn't want to deal with the aggro, I am tired. I didn't want to expend energy in having to deal with someone who has been attempting to bully me through violent passive-aggressive emails. For a few weeks, I regressed back to how my parents had demonstrated I should be in the workplace. My pursuit for peace made me complicit. Silence is often deemed as acceptance of poor behaviour and then we become complicit through our silence we accept poor behaviour that is rooted in racism, stereotype and prejudice. We spend a lot of time unlearning harmful things we have been taught and raised to believe, I have spent time and years unlearning, but there is no peace in keeping silent and hoping for the best, sometimes situations will call you to advocate for yourself and in doing so you centre yourself in the pursuit of peace. My burn folder stays ready and last week I had to advocate for myself and I did so strategically knowing that whilst I may be making myself a moving target the reality is my burn folder houses a catalogue of evidence demonstrating patterns of behaviour from those who continue to use privilege in an attempt to oppress, control and bully purely because I am a woman.... a Black Woman.Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks www.toyatalks.com
How many of us are comfortable admitting mistakes at work? - There is a grace we need to afford ourselves in understanding mistakes doesn't make us any less capable nor does it erode our ability to do our jobs. When we pursue perfection we do not give ourselves the grace to make mistakes and learn from them. We know we are constantly judged and under the microscope, this pressure in itself can cause many of us to dehumanise ourselves.In this episode, I share with you the mistakes I made in my current role and how I dealt with them. I also share with you Sindys mistakes during the course of her employment, yes I speak about Sindy in the past tense because she has left and has done so shrouded in judgement and disappointment because she built herself up and has fallen flat on her face. Let's get into the episode! Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks www.toyatalks.com
It's time I share with you why I left the church. When I was rock bottom I looked to the church to save me, I was lost confused, unemployed, and without a clear understanding of self and purpose, the church let me down. Monday to Friday I was suffering at work unclear of where I fitted in struck with grief and unable to navigate properly because then, the workings of the workplace were still a struggle for me. I looked to the church for my salvation and soon realised that the Church was not the Key to my salvation and i had to learn this lesson the hard way.Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks www.toyatalks.com
Honestly, today was a day I was so appreciative to be able to consider myself a remote worker. Many of us did not have the capacity to walk on eggshells during England's 7 days of mourning losing the UEFA Euro. However, it did stop Malcolm and Sindy's macro and microaggression campaign to me on Friday before and Monday after.'Black people in the workplace may not have thousands of hooligans hurling racist abuse towards them on social media, but there is a certain level of empathy that exists because we know what it feels like to have excellent work ignored and any failings highlighted as an indication of your ability and value.' - By @sixsafespace Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks www.toyatalks.com
This is a special edition of the Inside EMS Podcast - enjoy a crossover post from Chris Cebollero's Ultimate Leadership Podcast with guest Coach, Speaker and Author, Jeanie Cisco-Meth. When Jeanie was young, everyone knew she was different. When she got into school, the labeling began. She had so many learning disabilities and physical differences, she stood out. She had dyslexia, she couldn't talk very well, she was legally blind, she was six feet tall by the eighth grade, she was a cancer survivor, and the list goes on. Jeanie has made it her crusade to stop bullying, not only working in the corporate world, but taking her message right into the schools. In this episode of The Ultimate Leadership Podcast, Jeanie discusses why people bully, how to confront bullies, and she shares some insight from her two books. Subscribe to the Ultimate Leadership Podcast at ultimateleadership.blubrry.com for more.
'One of the most courageous things you can do is identify yourself, know who you are, what you believe in and where you want to go' - By Sheila Murray BethelIn developing our identities we are shaped by our upbringing (nature & nurture), culture, and dare I say it society. Many of us Black Women have experienced being questioned at work about the characteristics that make up our identity For Example quietness is mistaken for rudeness, Passion taken as aggression, and then the expectation that we should be a certain way that babysits the fragility of our colleagues/co-workers.Recently I was sent a Tik-Tok video of a Black Queen discussing her manager informing her that despite her colleagues' efforts he feels she does not like him because she never speaks to him and he has tried everything possible for her to like him. Baring in mind if he speaks to her she responds, she greets him when he greets her. - I was asked for my view, given this episode explores Identity Politics it seems fitting that we then discuss this further within this episode.* Please also listen to Ep16 Season 2 'Showing Up To Work As Yourself.'https://open.spotify.com/episode/02EiGtimCOKzSYgGJc5GMJ?si=ZGnAf6B3Qlagz66wged2wg&dl_branch=1 Whilst we are discussing identity we cannot ignore Iggy Azaleas' recent Black fishing which seeks to mock our Black identity, reducing our Black Identity to a costume. Email me: hello@toyatalks.com Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks) Snapchat: @toyawashington Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks www.toyatalks.com
Learn How To Identify Bullying When It Occurs Are you too nice at work? Do you tolerate your supervisors behavior or your colleagues bad jokes out of fear? You could be in a bullying situation. Dr. Aziz and master coach, Jonathan, will teach you how to be aware of your work environment so that you can learn how to say ‘NO' to your employees with style and