Podcasts about perfectly hidden depression how

In this insightful episode, host Kim Gross engages in a profound conversation with Dr. Margaret Rutherford, a seasoned psychologist, TEDx speaker, and author of 'Perfectly Hidden Depression.' They delve into understanding what perfectly hidden depression entails, the characteristics of individuals who struggle with perfectionism and hidden depression, and the impact of such issues. Dr. Rutherford shares her journey of coining the term and writing about it, the response she received, and the importance of addressing the root causes of this syndrome. The episode ends with practical advice for listeners who might identify with these traits and need help. About Dr. Margaret:  Margaret Robinson Rutherford Ph.D., a clinical psychologist with thirty years of experience, is also an author, TedX speaker, and podcast host. Her book, Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression, has reached thousands here in the US and abroad. Years of treating patients with depression have taught me that there's a widely overlooked, frequently misdiagnosed, and potentially deadly presentation of this disorder. I've termed it "perfectly hidden depression" and have been teaching and speaking about it since researching and publishing a book by the same name in 2019. I've given virtual and live seminars to diverse organizations, CE presentations to mental and medical health professionals, with the most recent and exciting opportunity to be a TEDxBocaRaton speaker. Book has been translated into Dutch, Korean, Polish, Vietnamese, Turkish, & Czech, German, and Italian. Contact Dr. Margaret: Email: askdrmargaret@drmargaretrutherford.com Website: www.drmargaretrutherford.com Podcast; Self Work Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-selfwork-podcast/id1166015598 Connect with Kim TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimgrosscoaching Website: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgrosscoaching/ Take the People-Pleasing & Perfectionist Quiz: https://www.kimgrosscoaching.com/quiz.php Facebook Group Recovering People-Pleasers & Perfectionists:⁠ https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity⁠ Masks Off email: podcastmasksoff@gmail.com YouTube:YouTube: ⁠https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q⁠ Spotify:  ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2Et9BMqdFriIQ9bUxcfQeg⁠ Apple podcast:  ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/masks-off/id1513846583⁠

On today's episode, Gabe interviews Dr. Margaret Rutherford, a clinical psychologist and the host of “The SelfWork Podcast.” They discuss the pressing issue of loneliness as a global health threat, likening its mortality effects to smoking 15 cigarettes a day, and explore its close relationship with depression. Rutherford emphasizes the importance of practicing social interaction, reevaluating perceptions of being alone, and taking small proactive steps to combat loneliness and build meaningful connections. “I think you have to look at your definition of alone. And what are you telling yourself about being alone? I'm alone because, what? Because I'm a failure? Because I am undesirable? What are you heaping on yourself about being alone that is detrimental to you? As long as you are engaged in constant negative appraisal of you spending an evening alone or a week alone or whatever it is, as long as you are calling that highly undesirable and actually that means you are less than, then you're going to run into trouble.” ~Dr. Margaret Rutherford To learn more -- or read the transcript -- please visit the official episode page. Our guest, Margaret Robinson Rutherford, PhD, is a clinical psychologist with 30 years of experience, an author, TEDx speaker, and podcast host. Her book, “Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression,” has reached thousands in the United States and is having an international impact, with translations reaching Korea to Italy, Turkey to Germany. Her podcast, “The SelfWork Podcast,” has been continuously rated as one of the best podcasts for mental health and depression. Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author. Gabe makes his home in the suburbs of Columbus, Ohio. He lives with his supportive wife, Kendall, and a Miniature Schnauzer dog that he never wanted, but now can't imagine life without. To book Gabe for your next event or learn more about him, please visit gabehoward.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Margaret Robinson Rutherford Ph.D., a clinical psychologist with thirty years of experience, is also an author, TedX speaker, and podcast host. Her book, Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression, has reached thousands here in the US, as well as having an international impact, with translations reaching from Korea to Italy, Turkey to Germany. Her highly popular podcast, The SelfWork Podcast, has been continuously rated as one of the best podcasts for mental health and depression, and her TedX talk hit the top 50 in 2023. Dr. Margaret's known for her vibrantly engaging and theoretically well-crafted presentations, whether live or virtual. Whether her diverse audiences are made up of mental health professionals, construction workers, or office managers, her passionate message is that healthy mental and emotional lives can be created through becoming more transparent with one another. Sharing who you really are with those you trust is a huge step toward connection and good mental health. Rates of depression and suicide are skyrocketing. And there's something we can do! She's further challenging the mental health profession to question their overreliance on the official symptom checklist for diagnosis. Instead, we need to create normalcy around suicidal feelings, listen to each person's actual experience of their life, and respond with safety and compassion, rather than stigmatizing this very real and excruciatingly painful part of human existence. *Though I usually don't do this, I wanted to be sure to put in a content warning here for discussion of self-harm and suicide.* In this episode, we cover: - how she pivoted from a career in music to psychology - why people use perfectionism to mask depression - the story behind her book - Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression - how you can start to express and accept yourself ... and more! You can connect with her over on Instagram: @drmargaretrutherford Or check out her website: drmargaretrutherford.com You can learn more about me by following on IG @imperfectlypaigewellness or by checking out my blog, freebies, and offers on my website: https://imperfectlypaigewellness.com Please share with #PaigeTalksWellness to help get the word out about the show - and join the Imperfect Health Fam over on Facebook.

Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford is a clinical psychologist with thirty years of experience, an author, a TEDx speaker, and a podcast host. Dr. Margaret is known for her vibrantly engaging and theoretically well-crafted presentations.  Her passionate message is that healthy mental and emotional lives can be created through becoming more transparent with one another. Sharing who you really are with those you trust is a huge step toward connection and good mental health. Margaret is challenging the mental health profession to question their overreliance on the official symptom checklist for diagnosis. Instead, we need to create normalcy around suicidal feelings, listen to each person's actual experience of their life, and respond with safety and compassion, rather than stigmatizing this very real and excruciatingly painful part of human existence. She's also known for her book, “Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression,” and her highly popular podcast, The SelfWork Podcast. It has been continuously rated as one of the best podcasts for mental health and depression. Listen in for some great takeaways on how we can reduce the stigma around mental health and suicide to help everyone.  You will want to hear this episode if you are interested in... Learn more about Dr. Margaret Rutherford [3:02]  Why Dr. Margaret became a therapist [6:29]  What is perfectly hidden depression? [11:31]  Check out our book “Financial Planning Made Personal” [14:14]  Why striving for perfection can be dangerous [14:53]  How Dr. Margaret got a TEDx Talk [16:45]  Why you should listen to Dr. Margaret's podcast [19:34] What is “phubbing?” Why does it damage relationships? [23:40]  Dr. Margaret's tips for empty-nesters [24:58] How to care for your mental health [28:03]  What Dr. Margaret did today that put her in the mindset for success [31:31] Resources & People Mentioned Financial Planning Made Personal Dr. Margaret's TEDx Talk The SelfWork Podcast The Perfectly Hidden Depressed Person: Are You One? Dr. Margaret's book: Perfectly Hidden Depression I Don't Want to Talk About It by Terrence Real Connect with Dr. Margaret Rutherford The website On Instagram On Linkedin On Facebook Connect With Mitlin Financial podcast*at*mitlinfinancial(dot)com - email us with your suggestions for topics or guests If you would like to learn more schedule a call: https://mitlin.us/FitCall https://mitlinfinancial.com  Follow on Twitter Follow on Instagram Subscribe on Youtube Follow on Linkedin Follow on Facebook Guests on the Mitlin Money Mindset Show are not affiliated with CWM, LLC, and opinions expressed herein may not be representative of CWM, LLC. CWM, LLC is not responsible for the guest's content linked on this site. Subscribe to Mitlin Money Mindset® on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts

Margaret Robinson Rutherford Ph.D., a clinical psychologist with thirty years of experience, is also an author, TedX speaker, and podcast host. Her book, Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression, has reached thousands here in the US, as well as having an international impact, with translations reaching from Korea to Italy, Turkey to Germany. Her highly popular podcast, The SelfWork Podcast, has been continuously rated as one of the best podcasts for mental health and depression. Dr. Margaret's known for her vibrantly engaging and theoretically well-crafted presentations, whether live or virtual. Whether her diverse audiences are made up of mental health professionals, construction workers, or office managers, her passionate message is that healthy mental and emotional lives can be created through becoming more transparent with one another. Sharing who you really are with those you trust is a huge step toward connection and good mental health. Rates of depression and suicide are skyrocketing. And there's something we can do! She's further challenging the mental health profession to question their overreliance on the official symptom checklist for diagnosis. Instead, we need to create normalcy around suicidal feelings, listen to each person's actual experience of their life, and respond with safety and compassion, rather than stigmatizing this very real and excruciatingly painful part of human existence

For many people, life can be a bit overwhelming at times. Yet, isn't it surprising how many people seem to have it all together? With depression and suicide rates rising in almost every age group, it may be that more people are hiding their mental health issues behind a mask of perfection.To identify the connection between perfectionism and depression, Harvesting Happiness Podcast Host Lisa Cypers Kamen speaks with a clinical psychologist and author who has made it her life's work to demystify depression. Dr. Margaret Rutherford. uncovers the connection between perfectionism and suicide, and shares the core tenets from her book Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression.To learn more, visit www.harvestinghappinesstalkradio.com.

For many people, life can be a bit overwhelming at times. Yet, isn't it surprising how many people seem to have it all together? With depression and suicide rates rising in almost every age group, it may be that more people are hiding their mental health issues behind a mask of perfection.To identify the connection between perfectionism and depression, Harvesting Happiness Podcast Host Lisa Cypers Kamen speaks with a clinical psychologist and author who has made it her life's work to demystify depression. Dr. Margaret Rutherford. uncovers the connection between perfectionism and suicide, and shares the core tenets from her book Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression.To learn more, visit www.harvestinghappinesstalkradio.com.

Could your perfectionism actually be a sign of depression?Today, Jenn is talking with Dr. Margaret Rutherford, a clinical psychologist with thirty years of experience, who is also an author, TedX speaker, and podcast host. Dr. Rutherford discusses the two types of perfectionism, and how one version of it is maladaptive and is actually harming us. She describes what socially determined perfectionism is, and gives some helpful tips about identifying it and tools to work through challenging the behaviors. Tune in to find out if perfectionism might actually be hiding your pain.This episode may contain topics that are triggering such as abuse and suicide.The Salad With a Side of Fries podcast is hosted by Jenn Trepeck, discussing wellness and weight loss for real life, clearing up the myths, misinformation, bad science & marketing surrounding our nutrition knowledge and the food industry. Let's dive into wellness and weight loss for real life, including drinking, eating out, and skipping the grocery store. IN THIS EPISODE:●   [6:10] Was Dr. Margaret Rutherford always interested in the psychology space?●   [7:50] Did Dr. Margaret Rutherford struggle with eating in her younger years?●   [11:00] How did she come to find the overlap of perfectionism and depression? ●   [14:46] Where is the line between a coping or survival strategy vs. behaviors that are maladaptive and hurt us?●   [20:34] What is socially determined perfectionism?●   [26:44] If we don't identify with this conversation, how can we support others who may? ●   [30:39] How do vulnerabilities translate into flaws?●   [31:46] How do we help people walk through healing? What are Dr. Margaret Rutherford's 5 stages of healing?●   [37:37] How do you start to challenge your behaviors?●   [38:55] How does Dr. Rutherford help patients find true self compassion?●   [41:03] Why is “breaking the silence” so important?KEY TAKEAWAYS:●   How we hide perfectionism depression: we don't allow the experience of negative emotions. It's almost like dissociating, like it's there, but we don't feel it. There is also the fear of being exposed. The shame invades our self worth. Vulnerability translates into flaws. ●   Even if you have moved past or healed past toxic behaviors, it is still possible to struggle with toxic thinking. For example, if you've struggled with an eating disorder in the past but no longer have those behaviors, you may still struggle with the thoughts that come with eating disordered thinking. ●   Many times, the effort to control the uncontrollable often shows up in our food as perfectionism. ●   Not all perfectionism is destructive, but destructive or maladaptive perfectionism is. Maladaptive perfectionism can lead to increased risk of suicidality and it can be easy to hide. QUOTES: “But the trauma timeline is very helpful for people because it actually asks you to go back to certain times in your life when you were very young, to when you're a teenager, to when you're in your twenties or thirties, and talk about the things or acknowledge the things that were helpful to you, that really helped you feel good about yourself and the things that did not, the things that began to make you feel unsafe or unlovable. And you wanna go back with compassion. It's not about blaming people.” - Dr. Margaret Rutherford“But where you get hope is when you see yourself change. When you allow yourself to express an emotion you've never allowed yourself to express. When you do something or you don't do something you always do, that you can begin to say I am making choices in the moment.” - Dr. Margaret Rutherford“It just begins opening. It begins giving you freedom. Self-compassion is important, but so is the sense of self-acceptance. And my working definition of self-acceptance is that neither your strengths nor your vulnerabilities completely define you. They both exist, but they don't. Neither one of them completely define who you are.” - Dr. Margaret Rutherford"Looking closer at your own perfectionism and understanding yourself might be a critical piece for your mental and physical health." - Jenn TrepeckRESOURCES:Become A Member of Salad with a Side of FriesJenn's Free Menu PlanA Salad With a Side of FriesA Salad With a Side of Fries InstagramGUEST RESOURCES: Dr. Margaret Rutherford WebsitePerfectly Hidden Depression BookThe Self Work PodcastJenn as a Guest on Dr. Rutherford's Podcast: 340 SelfWork: What You Need to Know About the Merry-Go-Round of Dieting: A Conversation with Jenn TrepeckDr. Margaret Rutherford's InstagramGUEST BIO:Margaret Robinson Rutherford Ph.D., a clinical psychologist with thirty years of experience, is also an author, TedX speaker, and podcast host. Her book, Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression, has reached thousands here in the US, as well as having an international impact, with translations reaching from Korea to Italy, Turkey to Germany. Her highly popular podcast, The SelfWork Podcast, has been continuously rated as one of the best podcasts for mental health and depression.Dr. Margaret's known for her vibrantly engaging and theoretically well-crafted presentations, whether live or virtual. Whether her diverse audiences are made up of mental health professionals, construction workers, or office managers, her passionate message is that healthy mental and emotional lives can be created through becoming more transparent with one another. Sharing who you really are with those you trust is a huge step toward connection and good mental health. Rates of depression and suicide are skyrocketing. And there's something we can do!She's further challenging the mental health profession to question their overreliance on the official symptom checklist for diagnosis. Instead, we need to create normalcy around suicidal feelings, listen to each person's actual experience of their life, and respond with safety and compassion, rather than stigmatizing this very real and excruciatingly painful part of human existence

Episode 248  Depression affects everyone, regardless of gender or age. By hiding our depression, we make it harder to accept and express ourselves and increase the struggle to live as our authentic selves. We adopt destructive perfectionism behaviors that make it more difficult to show vulnerability in an attempt to present a flawless image to the world. Dr. Margaret Rutherford is here to talk about her book, Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free From the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression.  Dr. Margaret Rutherford is a clinical psychologist with thirty years of experience as well as an author and podcaster. Her highly popular podcast, The SelfWork Podcast, has been continuously rated as one of the best for mental health and depression, earning 1.3 M downloads in 2022 alone (total near 4 M, IAB stats). Dr. Margaret shares her journey to acceptance, the link between depression and destructive perfectionism, and the signs of Perfectly Hidden Depression.  This episode shares information about the ideations of suicide. Please listen with care.  What you'll hear in this episode:  An Explanation of Perfectly Hidden Depression The Types of Perfectionism and 10 Traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression Ideations of suicide and their relation to destructive perfectionism How Alcohol and substance abuse play a role in hidden depression How to recognize and get support to help you overcome depression To read this episode's full show notes, go here.       

We are all united in wanting healthy, happy & thriving relationships in life, and yet, we often experience barriers to that. Those barriers are what we discuss in this episode: attachment styles, safety in relationships, self-awareness about our needs, wants & behaviors, the impact of developmental trauma and childhood dynamics and much more. Guest expert is Dr Margaret Robinson Rutherford, a clinical psychologist in private practice with more than twenty-five years of experience treating individuals and couples for depression, anxiety, and relationship issues. She is also the host of the wildly successful podcast The Self Work Podcast which has millions of downloads, and the author of The Perfectly Hidden Depression:  How to Break Free from Perfectionism, Find Self-Acceptance, and Live a Happier Life. If you enjoy this episode, please do consider clicking follow & sharing your thoughts in a review!Are we friends on socials yet? If not, come and say hello through the links below! InstagramTikTokYouTubeWebsiteMusic by: Flood (Instrumental) by RYYZN https://soundcloud.com/ryyznCreative Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported — CC BY 3.0

Subscribe for more: www.nobu.ai/podcastFollow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nobuappFollow us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NMIEgjblqmhwT6Uy3l0NmSubscribe to Dear Mind You Matter Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dear-mind-you-matter/id1573642046Leave us a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dear-mind-you-matter/id1573642046Interested in attending our Educational Events? https://bit.ly/eventsandeducation____Dr. Margaret Rutherford, a clinical psychologist, has practiced for twenty-eight years in Fayetteville, Arkansas. After winning an Arkansas Psychological Association award in 2009 for her community volunteering, she began blogging in 2012, and podcasting in 2016, extending the walls of her practice so that the general public could hear more about what therapy has to offer. Her writing can be found at https://DrMargaretRutherford.com, as well as Psychology Today, Psych Central, Psyche, the Gottman Blog and others. She hosts a highly popular podcast, The SelfWork Podcast, which is consistently ranked in the top 50 of US mental health podcasts, and a monthly FBLive presentation for The Mighty. Her new book Perfectly Hidden Depression (New Harbinger, 2019) focuses a much-needed light on the dangerous link between destructive perfectionism and depression.Website: https://drmargaretrutherford.com Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-selfwork-podcast/id1166015598 Book on Amazon: Author of Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free From the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression  Memorable Moments: 5:49 But there's a thing called destructive perfectionism, which is all about accomplishment, task, task orientation. You constantly have to meet the expectations of others around you. And I mean, all expectations. 6:13 That kind of perfectionism actually can be a camouflage for emotional pain that actually you may have suppressed that pain for so long that you're not even conscious of it anymore. 11:56 If you're aware that when perfectionism is present, when some of these, what I call the 10 traits of perfectly hidden depression, when those things are present, it's a syndrome of behaviors and beliefs that [hang] together.13:07 People with high functioning depression know they're depressed. They know they're depressed. They're in treatment, they're on medication. They make sure they get lots of exercise, so they don't get sad. They have seasonal affective disorder. They've learned how to cope. They're not so depressed that they can't get to work or take care of their kids. But this is different. 13:30 This is truly something that is...camouflage. You know, it's something you, you strap on every day and you really don't do it consciously. It's just who you have become. And the wonderful, incredible work that these people can do in therapy when they begin to let down that camouflage, it is amazing and it takes a lot of courage.  15:54 To convince someone that their thinness is really about an eating disorder is very difficult because that eating disorder has become their best friend. Perfectionism is very much the same way. 18:03 It is hard to admit that something you counted on as much as, you know, you being the person who's always the go-to, who always gets things done. And to begin to shift that thinking into something that's a little more human is hard. And so it takes a lot of honesty with yourself. 20:14 There could have been something that was in their family environment, in their cultural environment that caused them to adapt this way. And the very thing that helped them live through that and survive that is the thing that now has grown into this. And it's become their task master. 23:26 You really want to look at the absolutes in your life, the rules you're following: the musts, the shoulds, the have tos, the aughts, the nevers and begin to say, well, which one of these does still work for me, but which does not? 23:51 There's that work that's more cognitive behavioral and then there's the work of really going back and looking at your childhood, the family, the culture, the region, whatever, the country, and to see how the events of your life, both good and beneficial and painful and harmful, began to form patterns in your behavior. Going back and acknowledging with compassion.23:53 What is it that was hard for me and that I began covering up by just being highly achieving and caring about others and focusing on others, not on myself and counting my blessings to the point where it's toxic? You know, there's a toxic positivity that's out there. 25:54 These steps, they're hard because it really does turn some of what you believe upside down. But I have had people say to me, I, I feel so much more free than I did before. 26:00 To me, self-acceptance is really claiming that your strengths nor your vulnerabilities define you, that they both exist and they are facts about your life. And neither one of them define you. I think that's where people, in fact, I say in the book, self acceptance is the antidote to perfectly hidden depression. 27:17 During the pandemic people have used the strategy that has best worked for them [in the past] as their lives have gotten more and more ambiguous, more out of control, financial issues, obviously health issues, fear for your children, fear for your parents or grandparents, you know, our environment. I mean, it's just been chaos. Dear Mind, You Matter is brought to you by NOBU, a new mental health, and wellness app. To download NOBU, visit the app store or Google Play. This podcast is hosted by Allison Walsh  and Dr. Angela Phillips. It is produced by Allison Walsh, Ashley Tate, and Nicole LaNeve. For more information or if you're interested in being a guest on this podcast, please visit www.therecoveryvillage.com/dearmindyoumatter.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford is a psychologist and has been in private practice for over 25 years.  She is the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism that Masks Your Depression, and host of The Selfwork Podcast In this episode, Dr. Rutherford joins Victoria for a very important conversation to explain the difference between classic depression and hidden depression, the power of self-acceptance when it comes to healing, and how to break your silence so you don't have to struggle in secret. . Whether you or someone you love is suffering from depression, we can all benefit from a deeper understanding of this silent disease. **We would also like to note that we do discuss topics of suicide and suicidal ideation throughout this episode so please do not listen if these topics are triggering to you.** Click here to learn more about Dr. Rutherford and purchase her book entitled, Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism that Masks Your Depression Produced by Dear Media

Dr. Margaret has been a psychologist in private practice for over twenty-five years. She began writing online in 2012 and was just narcissistic enough to believe that she might have something fresh or funny to say about she has learned. She has begun a podcast called The SelfWork Podcast with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Her new book, entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism that Masks Your Depression, was launched in November of 2019. She has been researching and writing on this topic for five years, and she's passionate about the message that although depression can be heavily masked by perfectionism, its damage can still be devastating to someone who's trying so hard to smile their way through growing loneliness and despair. I've written for HuffPost, Psychology Today, The Mighty, Psych Central, The Gottman Blog, Psychologies, StigmaFighters, The Good Men Project. Please enjoy! Please visit https://nishantgarg.me/podcasts for more info. Follow Nishant: Instagram: instagram.com/garg_nishant https://www.facebook.com/NishantMindfulnessMatters/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nishant-garg-b7a20339/ https://twitter.com/nishantgar

Hi and glad you made it to the self-care zone! I begin this episode with a blog I wrote about vacations—guess I was inspired after taking my own last week. The facts are clear. Avoiding vacations can shorten your life, making you vulnerable to heart attacks. I share some data that's legitimately scary! My guest, Dr. Margaret Rutherford is an expert on something that plagued me for years… perfectionism. (Is every I dotted? It every T crossed?) Did you know there is something called destructive perfectionism? It's what separates the mere perfectionists from those who actively take themselves down, to their own detriment. If this rings a bell, listen and learn. Here are some of the things we chatted about: How she got into studying destructive perfectionism What is perfectly hidden depression The backgrounds that create this condition Constructive perfectionism v destructive perfectionism When is being extremely busy destructive The ten traits of hidden depression The treatment strategy for perfectionism and hidden depression May this serve as you reminder that self-care is ALWAYS a great idea… and you can go easy on yourself, friend. With love, RESOURCES Some Shocking News About Why You Really Need That Vacation Dr. Rutherford's book, Perfectly Hidden Depression The SelfWork Podcast MORE ABOUT DR. RUTHERFORD Dr. Margaret Rutherford is host of The SelfWork Podcast and has been a clinical psychologist for over 25 years, practicing in Fayetteville, Arkansas. She began blogging in 2012 in order to make therapy and mental health treatment understandable and approachable. Her podcast, And her first book, Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression was published in 2019 is currently being translated into seven different languages.

We have Dr. Margaret Rutherford, psychologist and author of Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism that Masks Your Depression, stopping for a fascinating discussion on upgrading our mind and taking control of the inner chatter that goes on in-between in our ears. Dr. Margaret has been in practice for over 25 years and is also the host of the SelfWork Podcast. In today's episode, you'll hear: Dr. Margaret’s origin story How Dr. Margaret landed on perfectly hidden depression Constructive vs. destructive perfectionism What is perfectly hidden depression Balancing your drive and ambition without sacrificing your mental health Some of the most common types of perfectionism About identity and the facades we carry Why gratitude sometimes isn’t what it seems About feeling like an impostor and navigating those feelings And much more Connect with Dr. Margaret: Website: https://drmargaretrutherford.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmargaretrutherford/ Book: https://drmargaretrutherford.com/perfectlyhiddendepressionbook/ Podcast: https://drmargaretrutherford.com/selfwork/ Connect with Julian: Book a complimentary executive health optimization strategy session — https://theartoffitnessandlife.com/application/ Join the Superhuman Insider newsletter: https://theartoffitnessandlife.com/insider/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thejulianhayes LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/julianhayes

Dr. Margaret Rutherford is a psychologist, author, and podcast host. She’s the author of “https://drmargaretrutherford.com/perfectlyhiddendepressionbook/ (Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism that Masks Your Depression),” a book that digs into the stigma that paints emotions as a sign of weakness and how high performers often use perfectionism to hide their own insecurities. Most type-A entrepreneurs want everything to be perfect — they want to conquer their goals, master their family life, and live a perfect life — when, deep inside, that pressure is leading to a slow death. She discusses how to identify depression in high achievers, and how to start getting help. In This Conversation We Cover:  [03:23] Being known as “the digger’s daughter” [07:29] The importance of class and elegance [13:31] Why people experience panic attacks [23:45] Techniques for overpowering panic [37:48] How to diagnose mental illnesses [45:09] How perfectionists masquerade their depression Resources: https://drmargaretrutherford.com/ (drmargaretrutherford.com) Read: “https://drmargaretrutherford.com/perfectlyhiddendepressionbook/ (Perfectly Hidden Depression)” Listen: https://drmargaretrutherford.com/selfwork/ (The SelfWork Podcast) Text "Dream Life" to 310- 388-9724 to get our FREE dream life course Mastermind: https://workhardplayhardpodcast.com/mastermind/ (https://workhardplayhardpodcast.com/mastermind/) Connect with Rob on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/robmurgatroyd/ (https://www.instagram.com/robmurgatroyd/) Connect with Kim on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimmurgatroyd/ (https://www.instagram.com/kimmurgatroyd/) To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: https://workhardplayhardpodcast.com/ (workhardplayhardpodcast.com) Work Hard Play Hard is a production of http://crate.media (Crate Media)

Are you hiding your depression behind a smile? Would you like to learn the characteristics of a Perfectly Hidden Depression and discover helpful ways on how to properly deal with it? In this episode of 'Happy and Healthy Mind with Dr. Rozina,' our guest,  Dr. Margaret Rutherford discussed the difference between constructive and destructive perfectionism to overcome the pretentious way of dealing with depression by increasing self-compassion and self-acceptance. Dr. Margaret Rutherford has been a psychologist in private practice for over twenty-five years and is the author of the book 'Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism that Masks Your Depression' (published 11/1/2019). In her book, Dr. Margaret bolsters her own clinical experience with real-life stories as well as the most recent research on the dangers of perfectionism. She's passionate about the message that, although depression can be heavily masked by perfectionism, its damage can be devastating. That person may or may not be aware of the loneliness and despair that's growing more potent underneath his/her accomplishments. Listen to this episode so you can break free from the chains of perfectionism that mask your depression. THREE WAYS TO GET THE FREE RESOURCES SHARED IN THIS PROGRAM SIGN UP AT https://bit.ly/HHMGSU TEXT: Word "Joyful" to 38470. JOIN FB Group: Happy and Healthy Mind with Dr. Rozina'; http://bit.ly/HHMwDRG LOVE THIS VIDEO and CHANNEL? HERE are YOUR NEXT STEPS! 1) SUBSCRIBE to my channel! 2) SHARE THIS EPISODE WITH A FRIEND 3) GRAB YOUR FREE AUDIO GUIDE: “Relax on the go” https://www.stresstojoy.com/newsletter 4) SIGN UP FOR YOUR FREE Stress to Joy AUDIOBOOK on AUDIBLE: https://adbl.co/2w9LL5W 5) GET MY BOOKS/GUIDED GRATITUDE JOURNAL/AUDIOBOOKS https://drrozina.com/books/ 6) ENROLL IN STRESS TO JOY ONLINE COURSE https://www.stresstojoy.com/onlinecourse 7) BOOK ME FOR YOUR SPEAKING, LEADERSHIP TRAINING, CORP. CONSULTING: https://drrozina.com/ 8) MAKE AN APPOINTMENT FOR TREATMENT: https://shifahealth.org/request-an-appointment LET'S CONNECT!

Perfectly Hidden Depression and Self-Worth with Dr. Margaret Rutherford Let's say your mother was an alcoholic and unleashed intense emotional abuse onto you and your siblings from a young age. And if you cried, it only got worse. So you learned not to cry. Or to repress your emotions, because expressing them only brought more pain. As an adult, you go through life without opening up much––just to be safe. Instead, you channel your bottled-up energy into being the top of your class or getting promoted. You use achievements as a way to prove to the world that you're not as useless as your mother always said you'd be.This is the reality for thousands of people with a syndrome known as Perfectly Hidden Depression. Our guest, Doctor Margaret Rutherford, is the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression. In her work as a therapist, Margaret noticed a trend of patients who seemed to brush off their severe trauma as insignificant. These patients tended to distance themselves from their deepest wounds, letting them fester. When asked, they'd say that nothing is wrong–then overdose, or attempt suicide.Dr. Ruthorford tells us that this syndrome is different than just typical denial or avoidance. It's a survival technique, developed as a symptom of devastating early childhood experiences. It might come from growing up in a home where emotional repression was the only way to endure intense abuse or hardship. It may also come from being taught that the only way to win a parent's love is to get straight As and never “complain.”All the while, hiding immense sadness, buried deep down, can slowly destroy someone. The pain inside grows and eats away, no matter how many awards they win or people they impress.Isn't Perfectionism Kind of a Good Thing?What's wrong with wanting to be the best you can be? It isn't inherently destructive to strive for higher achievement, says Dr. Rutherford. But for those with Perfectly Hidden Depression, their ambition to hide their feelings of intense despair can be catastrophic. For these folks, accomplishment is often irrevocably tied to their self worth, so when they lose out on a promotion or don't make the team, they can become suicidal.As someone who spent years in the Air Force, I've had my own run-ins with the hazards of perfectionism. In the armed forces, newcomers are taught that mistakes are unacceptable. After being honorably discharged, this fear of messing up plagued the back of my mind for years.Throw in some good ol' Christian guilt and fear of the Almighty, and you've got a high pressure situation in the face of simple slip-ups. Growing up deeply involved in the Pentecostal Church led me to believe that one “sin” meant I was going straight to Hell. Of course, this mindset is incredibly damaging to one's self esteem. Margaret and I discuss how awful this way of thinking is for those struggling with substance abuse as well. I decided to share my own struggles with crystal meth and addiction recovery on this episode, and how I had to forgive myself when I relapsed. If I weren't kind to myself, I might still be a user today. Dr. Rutherford explains how Perfectly Hidden Depression can hit women and people of color extra hard. This comes from having to work with twice the vigor for the same recognition as white male counterparts. When you have to defy discrimination, you act as though making zero mistakes is a necessity for success. And sometimes, that's the only way to get a seat at the table. In her practice, Margaret has worked with a great deal of black women who told her they feel as though maintaining a facade of perfection is the only way to protect everything they've worked so hard for.Recovering from Perfectly Hidden DepressionI had to know, how does one begin to recover from Perfectly Hidden Depression? Margaret outlines five different steps in the journey towards recovery: Consciousness, Commitment, Confrontation, Connection, and Change.Consciousness Consciousness means being aware of the pain inside. Those with Perfectly Hidden Depression tend to think they're not allowed to be sad. They believe the trauma they endured is insignificant. They tell themselves making progress means admitting there's always room for improvement because they're never enough. Dr. Rutherford wants patients to become aware of their pain, rather than repress it.CommitmentCommitment means promising to deal with the pain even if it's scary or uncomfortable. Listen to the full episode to hear what Dr. Rutherford has to say about mastering Commitment.ConfrontationConfrontation requires finally facing these dark feelings, and challenging the belief that showing emotions is admitting defeat.Connection  Connection refers to really accepting who you are but also, connecting the dots. How did all the repression begin? What occurred during childhood that evoked this avoidant behavior?ChangeChange means taking the steps to transform and live a healthier life. The secrets to the five Cs (Consciousness, Commitment, Confrontation, Connection, and Change) can be found inside our this episode of the Sex, Drugs, and Jesus Podcast. Hit play to hear more!Case Study: Reestablishing Intimacy Margaret shares a touching anecdote in the episode about a woman who was able to evolve past Perfectly Hidden Depression. This patient was the victim of repeated sexual abuse in college. Because she had been taken advantage of, she felt the need to totally close herself off emotionally to prevent someone from ever having control over her again. As a result, her marriage had a huge absence of intimacy. Her energy was channeled towards her accomplishments outside her relationship instead. This constantly left her husband aching for connection.After working with Margaret, she traced her emotional repression to her trauma, and committed to working on herself. Although it was challenging and took a lot of trial and error, she began challenging herself to be more vulnerable with her husband. Over time, they began to uncover things about each other that they never knew, and experienced a level of intimacy with one another that they never imagined.Top Takeaways from Dr. Margaret RutherfordWhat can we take away from Margaret's expertise in this episode? Well, we've certainly got to pay more attention to the connection between perfectionism and depression in our lives. If we put too much pressure on ourselves, we can end up in a dangerous spot. But if we are honest and kind with ourselves, we can work through our deepest trauma and learn to truly love who we are.

Divorce, by definition, is damaging. Taking apart a relationship impacts us far beyond the law. Today on the show, clinical psychologist Dr. Margaret Rutherford joins us to talk about how the stresses of divorce can sneak up on us in ways we might not expect. In addition to her practice, she's the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism that Masks Your Depression, and host of The SelfWork Podcast. Margaret, welcome to the Toaster.About Dr. Margaret RutherfordDr. Margaret Rutherford, a clinical psychologist, has practiced for twenty-six years in Fayetteville, Arkansas. Earning the 2009 Arkansas Private Practitioner of the Year award for her volunteer work at a local free health clinic, she began blogging and podcasting in 2012 to destigmatize mental illness and educate the public about therapy and treatment. With her compassionate and common-sense style, her work can be found on her website, as well as HuffPost, Psych Central, Psychology Today, The Mighty, the Gottman Blog and others. She hosts a weekly podcast, The SelfWork Podcast with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. And her book, Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism that Masks Your Depression, is published by New Harbinger and available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble or your local bookstore.Links & NotesPerfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression by Margaret RutherfordAbout Dr. Margaret RutherfordSubscribe to The SelfWork PodcastRecommended Reading: Coming Apart by Daphne Rose Kingma

Great interview with Award-Winning private Clinical Psychologist/Author/Podcaster, Margaret Robinson Rutherford, Ph.D., COVID-19, Peaceful protesting, perfectly hidden depression, self-development, family, and relationships, mental illness, fear, negative self-talk and much more! Margaret Robinson Rutherford, Ph.D., is the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism that Masks Your Depression. With more than 25 years of experience in treating individuals and couples for depression, anxiety, and relationship issues, Rutherford was voted Arkansas' Private Practitioner of the Year in 2009 for her volunteer contributions to the mental health community. She continues those efforts through blogging and her very popular podcast, The SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. For more information on how to book Dr. Rutherford, please visit www.DrMargaretRutherford.com --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yourbestlifestyles/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/yourbestlifestyles/support

A close friend lost her husband tragically and suddenly, but she was back in the office just two weeks later. She shed a few tears that first month, but mostly, it was Beth as usual. She didn't fall behind on any projects or ask for help. “Beth is so strong. I think she can handle just about anything,” they said. Except they were wrong, and so was I. Beth was mourning privately for months, and then deeply depressed for years following the accident. She'd kept it hidden. Hidden depression is not just common, it's applauded; and I'm as guilty of this as anyone. On this week's podcast, you'll meet a clinical psychologist whose recent work focuses on this growing mental health problem hidden from plain sight. Listen & Learn How the “smile or die” positive attitude leads many of use to push down and cover up deep pain and emotions  The difference between classic, clinical depression and the hidden type  The personal and societal fallout that come from wearing an emotional mask for years or even a lifetime How the opposite of depression is engagement or connection - no happiness  Links & Resources Perfectly Hidden Depression Book Site Dr. Rutherford's Site Smile or Die ABOUT OUR GUEST Margaret is a clinical psychologist with over 27 years experience. She's also a writer and podcaster (SelfWork). She has a new book called, Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism that Masks Your Depression. She has written for HuffPost, The Mighty, Psych Central, The Gottman Blog, Psychologies, StigmaFighters, The Good Men Project, and This Is My Brave.  Nutritional Tip of the Week: Moringa Got Questions? Send me a voicemail here: Ask Lucas a Question Or write to us: podcast@yogabody.com  Like the Show? Leave us a Review on iTunes

Are you battling perfectionism? Did you know that perfectionism is a hidden epidemic in our culture? Today's special guest Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford, a psychologist in private practice for over 25 years, explains, "Perfectionism is a critical aspect of depression that gets far too little attention these days. It is common knowledge that we live in a social media-driven society, where everyone is trying to just post the "highlight" reel of their lives as opposed to the messy truth. This emphasis on perfection, especially in the social media world, is leading to an uptick in depression and anxiety. The emotional battles which ensue are also known to result in suicide and for many of the people afflicted, there seems to be no "reason"—they seemed happy, engaged in life, successful, well-liked." Many people deny and repress emotional pain, but research is showing an increased pressure to have the perfect life—especially to feel significant pressure to meet the perceived constant high expectations of others (what's termed socially-prescribed perfectionism and is the deadliest and most dangerous type of perfectionism)—is having devastating consequences. In Dr. Rutherford's new book Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism that Masks Your Depression. she offers a comprehensive healing pathway out of this secret hell. She uses her life experiences, along with the stories of others who've identified with this overlooked presentation of depression, to gently but assertively move the reader toward a life no longer governed by inflexible beliefs but lived with increased freedom and true joy. She reveals the syndrome of perfectly hidden depression (a term that she created), what causes it, how it differs from classic depression, and what you can do about it.