How to Split a Toaster: A divorce podcast about saving your relationships

Ancient Wisdom Meets Modern Divorce: A Guide to Repair and HealingSeth Nelson, a Tampa divorce attorney, and Pete Wright explore the complex journey of repentance and repair during divorce with special guest Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg, author of "On Repentance and Repair: Making Amends in an Unapologetic World." Rabbi Ruttenberg brings ancient Jewish wisdom to modern relationship challenges, offering insights into healing and growth when marriages end.The conversation dives deep into what true repair means in divorce, exploring the difference between reconciliation and healing. Seth and Pete discuss with Rabbi Ruttenberg her five-step framework for meaningful repentance, examining how these principles apply specifically to divorce situations. The discussion illuminates how personal accountability and genuine healing can occur even when one party refuses to participate in the repair process, and explores the impact of this work on co-parenting relationships.Questions we answer in this episode:Can you heal from divorce without receiving an apology from your ex?How do you move forward when the other person won't take accountability?What role does personal accountability play in divorce healing?Key Takeaways:True healing requires owning your part, regardless of the other person's actionsThe five steps of repentance provide a practical framework for divorce healingModeling accountability and repair helps children navigate divorce impacts betterThis episode offers invaluable insights for anyone navigating divorce or its aftermath. Rabbi Ruttenberg's framework, combined with Seth's legal expertise and Pete's facilitation, creates a powerful roadmap for personal growth and healing during one of life's most challenging transitions.Links & Noteslifeisasacredtext.com Get Rabbi Ruttenberg's book “On Repentance and Repair”Schedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:26) - Meet Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg (03:47) - Repair in the Context of Divorce (05:06) - When the Other Party Won't Engage (06:50) - Doing Your Work (11:24) - Needing to Face the Music Together (13:00) - Steps of Repentance (17:56) - Readiness for Change (19:08) - From the Legal Perspective (21:42) - Blame (24:48) - Learning Better Ways to Communicate (27:56) - Repentance Around the Kids (30:33) - When Kids Become a Focus (34:38) - Finding Peace (36:24) - Wrapping Up

Protecting Your Kids Through Divorce: A Mental Health Expert's GuideSeth Nelson and Pete Wright welcome Dr. Larry Waldman, a psychologist with over four decades of clinical experience helping families navigate divorce. As the author of "Love Your Child More Than You Hate Your Ex," Dr. Waldman shares crucial insights on protecting children from trauma during divorce and maintaining healthy parent-child relationships through major life transitions.The conversation explores the often-invisible ways parents unknowingly traumatize their children during divorce, from erasing evidence of the other parent to making children emotional confidants. Dr. Waldman, Seth, and Pete discuss practical strategies for maintaining stability, fostering healthy co-parenting relationships, and ensuring children feel secure and supported throughout the divorce process. Their discussion weaves together psychological insights with legal considerations, offering a comprehensive guide for parents navigating this challenging transition.Questions we answer in this episode:How do parents unknowingly traumatize their children during divorce?What's the best way to handle transitions between homes?When should older children have input in scheduling decisions?Key Takeaways:Keep photos of both parents visible in children's spacesFocus on positive experiences during transitions between homesMaintain appropriate parent-child boundaries; don't make children confidantsThis episode provides essential guidance for any parent going through divorce, offering both practical strategies and deeper insights into protecting children's emotional well-being. Dr. Waldman's expertise, combined with Seth's legal perspective and Pete's facilitation, creates a valuable resource for maintaining healthy family relationships during and after divorce.Links & NotesGet Dr. Waldman's book “Love Your Child More Than You Hate Your Ex”Schedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:27) - Meet Larry Waldman (01:11) - Invisible Damage (04:48) - Damnatio Memoriae (06:15) - What Does Divorce Look Like to the Child? (08:47) - Making the Child a Confidant (09:32) - Weaponizing Your Kids in Court (10:30) - Someone New (12:19) - Stability and Security During the Divorce (15:26) - When They're Older (20:00) - Your Child Is the Focus (21:04) - When They Grow Up (22:22) - When They Come Back from the Other Parent's (23:59) - Using the Kid as a Scapegoat (25:51) - Larry's Book (27:16) - Demonstrating What's Most Important (29:38) - Wrap Up

De-escalating High-Conflict Divorce: A Rabbi's Perspective on Finding PeaceRabbi Avi Kahan joins Seth Nelson and Pete Wright to explore how de-escalation techniques and cultural sensitivity can help families reach sustainable resolutions during divorce. As a mediator handling complex religious and cultural divorce cases, Rabbi Kahan brings unique insights into managing high-conflict situations and helping couples transition from being spouses to successful co-parents.The conversation delves deep into how fear and conflict often mask deeper emotional struggles during divorce. Seth and Pete explore with Rabbi Kahan how the legal system's focus on "fairness" can sometimes escalate tensions, while religious and cultural perspectives might offer alternative paths to resolution. They discuss how divorce doesn't actually separate parents—it unifies them in a new way as co-parents, requiring them to articulate a new future together for their children's sake.Questions we answer in this episode:How can you de-escalate high-conflict divorce situations?What role does "fairness" really play in divorce proceedings?How can religious perspectives help in understanding divorce as transformation rather than failure?Key Takeaways:Focus on living your life, not your divorce—don't let temporary legal proceedings define your actionsDe-escalation often requires helping both parties want the divorce, not just need itCourt litigation can force parents to suppress their authentic selves, potentially harming childrenThe episode offers valuable insights for anyone navigating a contentious divorce, especially those dealing with cultural or religious complexities. Rabbi Kahan's perspective on viewing divorce as a unifying rather than separating force provides a fresh framework for approaching this challenging life transition. Links & NotesVisit Rabbi Avi Kahan on the web, Instagram, LinkedIn, or YouTubeSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:26) - Meet Rabbi Avi Kahan (01:15) - De-Escalation and Rabbi's Background (03:29) - In the Interpersonal Space (06:21) - Getting Them on the Same Page (09:51) - To Make Life Better Post-Divorce (10:42) - Decompressing the Proxy Battle (14:56) - Fairness (22:20) - Husband v. Wife, Father v. Mother (24:53) - Lack of Agency (27:46) - Escalation as Coping Mechanism (29:28) - Affecting the Children (33:12) - Preparing for Mediation and Litigation (36:59) - Wrap Up

Helping Kids Navigate Divorce with Parent Coach Danielle LindnerSeth Nelson and Pete Wright welcome parent coach and early childhood education expert Danielle Lindner to discuss how children process divorce and what parents can do to help them stay resilient. Lindner, author of "The Parent's Pocket Guide to Surviving the Preschool Years" and several children's books, specializes in helping families raise emotionally healthy kids while maintaining their own wellbeing during major life transitions.Seth and Pete explore key indicators that children might be struggling with divorce, often manifesting in behavior changes opposite to their typical personality. The discussion delves into positive parenting strategies during divorce—including the importance of consistency, emotional validation, and avoiding negative talk about the other parent. Lindner emphasizes the power of age-appropriate communication and explains how "scaffolding"—building supportive steps toward greater emotional agency—can help children develop resilience during challenging times.Questions we answer in this episode:How can you tell if your child is struggling with divorce beyond what they're telling you?When should you consider bringing in professional help for your children?How do you handle introducing new partners when kids express negative feelings?Key Takeaways:Maintain consistency and kindness across both householdsValidate children's feelings without overloading them with informationConsider early intervention with counseling—it's better to start early than wait for problemsThis episode provides practical, actionable advice for parents navigating divorce with young children. Whether you're just beginning the process or already co-parenting, Lindner's expertise offers valuable insights into supporting children's emotional health while maintaining positive family relationships during and after divorce.Links & NotesFind Danielle on her website, LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTubeCheck out Danielle's booksSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:26) - Danielle Lindner and Positive Parenting (01:35) - First Signs a Child Is Struggling (06:01) - Myths Around Kids and Divorce (10:27) - Positive Parenting (11:57) - Coaching Parents (15:07) - Tools for Struggling Children (18:21) - Scaffolding (20:19) - Learning to Be Emotionally Resilient (22:12) - Social Media (26:35) - Third Parties (30:35) - Daily Reminder (33:23) - When to Use a Counselor (34:40) - Danielle's Book (38:27) - Wrap Up

Breaking Free from Toxic Family Patterns During DivorceIn this compelling episode, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright are joined by Jerry Wise, a family systems coach with over 45 years of experience helping people heal from dysfunctional and emotionally immature family dynamics. They explore how divorce often isn't the hardest part of ending a marriage—it's breaking free from the dysfunctional patterns that shaped you before you even got married.Seth and Pete dive deep with Jerry into the concept of emotional enmeshment and how it affects divorce proceedings and co-parenting relationships. They discuss practical strategies for recognizing when you're emotionally fused with your ex-spouse and techniques for breaking free from these patterns. The conversation takes fascinating turns as they explore how unresolved family-of-origin issues can impact current relationships and how to prevent passing these patterns to the next generation.Questions we answer in this episode:How do I know if I'm emotionally enmeshed with my ex?What can I do when I feel triggered by my ex's behavior?How do I protect my children from inheriting dysfunctional relationship patterns?Key Takeaways:Focus on yourself and your healing instead of blaming your exLearn to respond rather than react to triggering situationsWork on breaking unhealthy patterns before they affect your childrenThis episode offers invaluable insights for anyone navigating divorce or struggling with challenging family dynamics. Jerry's expertise, combined with Seth and Pete's practical legal and personal experience, provides listeners with actionable strategies for breaking free from toxic patterns and building healthier relationships moving forward.Links & NotesFind Jerry on his website, Instagram, or YouTubeCheck out Jerry's Road to Self programSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:26) - Jerry Wise and How to Divorce without Passing Down Toxic Patterns (02:37) - Lots of Things Affect Kids (04:21) - Enmeshment (07:49) - Getting Unmeshed (09:13) - Focus on Yourself (10:27) - Emotional and Legal Divorce (11:07) - Things You Can Do (16:23) - Breaking the Triggering Patterns (19:18) - Not All Feelings Are Equal (21:20) - Role Model for Kids (24:37) - Kids' Resilience (26:08) - Realizing You're Ready for Change (30:49) - Leaving Because... (32:09) - It's a Lot (33:14) - You Won't Always Feel This Way (35:27) - Marker 17 (39:18) - Wrap Up

In this special season finale episode of How to Split a Toaster, family law attorney Seth Nelson joins Pete Wright to wrap up their comprehensive "Your Divorce Case" series by tackling pressing listener questions. This episode marks the conclusion of Season 10, where they've guided listeners through every aspect of the divorce process, from initial consultation to appeals.The episode dives deep into real-world divorce scenarios submitted by listeners, covering everything from custody arrangements for children with ADHD to hidden cryptocurrency assets and international divorce complications. The discussion provides practical insights into how these situations are typically handled in the courtroom, while breaking down complex legal concepts into understandable terms. The conversation consistently emphasizes the importance of consulting with local counsel, as laws and procedures vary by jurisdiction.Questions we answer in this episode:How do courts typically handle parenting plans when parents disagree about medical treatment?What options exist when you suspect hidden financial assets?How are digital assets like cryptocurrency handled in divorce proceedings?Key Takeaways:Settlement opportunities can arise at any point during the divorce process - even during trialCourt orders and requirements vary significantly by jurisdictionDocumentation and proper legal counsel are crucial throughout the divorce processThis episode serves as both an excellent standalone resource for specific divorce questions and a fitting conclusion to the season-long examination of the divorce process. Whether you're just starting your divorce journey or looking for specific guidance on complex issues, this episode offers valuable insights into navigating the legal and emotional challenges of divorce.Links & NotesSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:26) - Listener Questions (00:52) - Question One (03:11) - Question Two (04:09) - Question Three (04:52) - Question Four (06:58) - Question Five (08:44) - Question Six (10:44) - Question Seven (16:56) - Question Eight (19:48) - Question Nine (21:14) - Question Ten (24:20) - Question Eleven (29:05) - Question Twelve (31:57) - Question Thirteen (34:31) - Question Fourteen (36:33) - Question Fifteen (38:40) - Question Sixteen (40:08) - Question Seventeen (42:11) - Question Eighteen (45:49) - Question Nineteen (47:43) - Wrapping Up the Season (50:40) - Wrap Up

Navigating the Appeals Process in Divorce CasesContinuing our season-long Your Divorce Case series, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright welcome appellate attorney Ceci Berman to discuss what happens when divorce cases move to the appeals court. As a board-certified appellate practice attorney with extensive experience arguing before state and federal courts, Ceci brings deep expertise in family law appeals and complex commercial litigation.The appeals process works very differently from trial court, with strict timelines and procedures that must be followed. Seth and Pete explore with Ceci how appeals aren't simply "do-overs" of the original case, but rather reviews of whether the trial judge made legal errors in their decision. Through their conversation, they break down the machinery of appeals - from filing deadlines to oral arguments before a panel of judges - and discuss what clients should expect during what can be a lengthy process lasting anywhere from 9 months to 2 years.Questions we answer in this episode:What exactly is an appeal and how does it differ from the original trial?How long does the appeals process typically take?What happens if you win your appeal?Key Takeaways:You have just 30 days from the final judgment to file an appealAppeals are expensive and time-consuming - carefully consider if it's worth pursuingWinning your appeal means starting over - potentially with the same judge who ruled against you initiallyThis episode provides an invaluable look at a complex but crucial part of the divorce process that many people misunderstand. Whether you're considering an appeal or just want to better understand how the system works, Ceci's expert insights combined with Seth and Pete's practical experience make this an essential listen for anyone navigating divorce proceedings.Links & NotesCeci Berman – Brannock Berman & SeiderSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:26) - The Appeal with Ceci Berman (01:55) - How Is It Different? (04:04) - Who Decides? (07:21) - Finality (08:21) - Triggers for an Appeal (13:57) - Preservation of Error (20:16) - Mechanics of an Appeal (27:48) - Three Judges (29:25) - Time to Get an Opinion (32:06) - What Your Role Is (35:21) - Juggling Relationships with Attorneys (36:24) - Stays (38:24) - Questioning Results (39:51) - Hard to Win (41:31) - Taking Time (43:39) - Expensive (45:24) - Wrap Up

Mastering Courtroom Behavior: Your Guide to Trial SuccessIn this final installment of our three-part series on divorce trials, Tampa family law attorney Seth Nelson and Pete Wright dive deep into courtroom etiquette, behavior, and psychological preparation. As part of our season-long exploration of Your Divorce Case, this episode provides essential insights into how to present yourself effectively in court and work productively with your attorney during trial.Seth and Pete break down the discussion into three key segments: mastering courtroom behavior, being an asset to your attorney during trial, and psychological preparation. They explore everything from appropriate facial expressions and dress code to the importance of proper note-taking and communication with your attorney. The conversation also covers critical aspects of post-trial procedures, including motions for rehearing and appeals, while emphasizing the importance of maintaining composure both inside and outside the courtroom.Questions we answer in this episode:What are the most common courtroom etiquette mistakes that can hurt your case?How should you handle emotionally triggering statements during trial?What's the proper way to communicate with your attorney during proceedings?Key Takeaways:Maintain neutral facial expressions and conservative dress in courtUse note-taking to manage emotions and assist your attorney effectivelyStay off social media before, during, and after trialWhether you're preparing for trial or simply want to understand the court process better, this episode provides invaluable insights into navigating the complexities of divorce court. Seth and Pete's practical advice and real-world examples make this a must-listen for anyone facing divorce proceedings or interested in understanding courtroom dynamics.Links & NotesSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:37) - The Trial Part III (01:16) - Mastering Courtroom Behavior (04:38) - Handling Emotional Triggers (06:48) - Judicial Hot Buttons (10:04) - Being an Asset to Your Legal Team (13:00) - Communicating During Zoom Court (13:29) - Strategy and Psychological Preparation (16:34) - The Courthouse Encounter (19:22) - Avoid Social Media (21:33) - Post-Trial Steps (25:45) - Testing Pete (30:27) - Don't Get Freaked Out (31:45) - Wrap Up

Trial Strategy: Making Your Case in Divorce CourtIn this second installment of their three-part series on divorce trials, Tampa divorce attorney Seth Nelson and Pete Wright dive deeper into trial strategy and momentum. Part of their season-long "Your Divorce Case" conversation, this episode explores how attorneys navigate the complex dynamics of presenting evidence, examining witnesses, and adapting their approach as trials unfold. Building on last week's overview of courtroom basics, they now focus on the strategic elements that can make or break a case.Seth shares detailed insights about trial preparation, witness examination, and the intricate dance between attorneys, judges, and clients during proceedings. Through real-world examples and candid discussion, Seth and Pete break down how success is measured in divorce court, why "winning" isn't always what it seems, and how attorneys must constantly adjust their strategy as new evidence emerges. Their conversation reveals the complex reality behind courtroom proceedings, including how judges signal their thinking and why settlement offers often play a crucial role in defining success.Questions we answer in this episode:What happens when you finally take the witness stand?How do attorneys measure success in divorce court?Why don't clients really get their "day in court"?Key Takeaways:Trial momentum can shift dramatically between daysYour attorney should be completely transparent about how the case is progressingThe best outcome often beats the last settlement offer, not necessarily "wins" everythingWhether you're headed to trial or trying to decide if you should settle, this episode offers crucial insights into how divorce trials really work. Seth and Pete's practical discussion helps demystify the process while providing valuable perspective on what constitutes success in divorce court.Links & NotesSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:37) - The Trial Part II (01:44) - Be Prepared for Anything (06:21) - It's Not Your Day in Court (08:56) - Sit Still and Don't React (10:55) - Legalese (16:19) - Shifting Strategies (20:56) - The Final Judgment (23:39) - Momentum (25:03) - In-Court Relationships (27:51) - Closing Statements (33:28) - Finishing the Case and Measuring Success (42:58) - Being Honest (46:04) - Wrap Up

Inside the Courtroom: What Really Happens During a Divorce TrialTampa divorce attorney Seth Nelson and Pete Wright explore what really happens when a divorce case goes to trial in this first episode of a two-part deep dive. As part of the tenth season's "Your Divorce Case" series, Seth and Pete take listeners inside a Florida divorce courtroom, breaking down everything from the physical layout to the intricate procedures that govern these proceedings.Seth guides us through the mechanics of a divorce trial, describing the roles of everyone present—from the judge and attorneys to the bailiff and court reporter. The conversation examines how evidence is presented, the importance of proper documentation, and the strategic elements that shape trial proceedings. Pete's thoughtful questions help illuminate complex legal concepts, making them accessible to anyone facing divorce court.Questions we answer in this episode:What does a divorce courtroom look like and who will be there?How does evidence get admitted during a trial?What happens during opening statements and how do they shape the case?Key Takeaways:Trials move quickly—preparation and organization are crucialEvidence must be authenticated, relevant, and admissible to be consideredLike a tennis match, trials have momentum shifts but staying focused is keyWhether you're facing a divorce trial or simply want to understand the process better, this episode provides invaluable insights into how divorce trials actually work. Seth and Pete's engaging discussion demystifies the courtroom experience while offering practical knowledge about what to expect when your divorce goes to trial.Links & NotesSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:36) - The Trial Part One (01:29) - The Courtroom (04:56) - Public Viewing (06:57) - Taking Notes (08:26) - Procedures (10:54) - Memoranda, Joint Stipulated Exhibits, Etc. (16:36) - Evidence (17:40) - Getting It Into the Transcript (19:00) - Housekeeping Issues (20:02) - Kids (20:24) - Back to Housekeeping Issues (23:58) - Opening Statements (27:06) - Presenting the Evidence (28:13) - Closing Statements (29:25) - Painting a Picture (30:15) - Chess Match (33:00) - Next Time and Wrap Up

Your Burning Divorce Questions: Expert Answers for Real-Life SituationsAs part of this season's deep dive into "Your Divorce Case," Pete Wright and family law attorney Seth Nelson tackle listener questions spanning complex financial arrangements to sensitive custody matters. Their insights provide practical guidance for navigating the intricate landscape of divorce proceedings.Real Solutions for Modern Divorce ChallengesThis episode explores creative solutions to modern divorce challenges, from managing shared living spaces post-divorce to handling delicate relationship transitions. Through real-world examples, Seth and Pete address concerns about property division, co-parenting, and legal documentation, offering actionable advice while emphasizing the importance of proper legal guidance.Listener Questions Covered:Post-divorce cohabitation: Managing shared home ownership with a low interest rateDating during slow-moving divorce proceedings: Understanding potential consequencesInternational divorce complications: Handling custody with a foreign national spouseReunification therapy timeline: What to expect in the healing processDocumenting parental alienation: Effective strategies for courtCatholic annulment concerns: Managing religious and legal proceedingsCreative settlement options: Handling significant age gap divorcesLegal annulment vs. divorce: Understanding the differences and requirementsEnforcing custody agreements: Dealing with violations and discovery requestsWhy This Episode MattersThe episode delivers valuable insights for anyone facing divorce, whether dealing with unique living arrangements, complex financial situations, or challenging custody scenarios. Seth and Pete's practical approach and clear explanations make complex legal concepts accessible while emphasizing the importance of making informed decisions throughout the divorce process.Links & NotesSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:27) - Listener Questions! (01:16) - Question One (09:44) - Question Two (12:06) - Question Three (14:26) - Question Four (16:09) - Question Five (20:06) - Question Six (25:40) - Question Seven (28:10) - Question Eight (31:11) - Question Nine (37:30) - Wrap Up

Demystifying the Appraisal Process in DivorceSeth and Pete dive deep into the complex world of appraisals during divorce proceedings. Whether you're dealing with real estate, wine collections, artwork, or vintage electronics, understanding how items are valued can significantly impact your divorce settlement.Getting your assets properly appraised is crucial for fair distribution in a divorce, but timing and strategy matter. Seth and Pete explore the differences between full appraisals and market analyses, when to get items appraised, and how to handle situations where collections or assets may be damaged or hidden. Through real examples and practical scenarios, they break down the systematic approach professional appraisers use to determine value.Questions we answer in this episode:When is the best time during divorce proceedings to get items appraised?Should both parties get separate appraisals or share one appraiser?How do courts handle significant differences between competing appraisals?Key Takeaways:Start the appraisal process early, especially for valuable collectionsDocument everything with photos and receipts before moving itemsFor items you want to keep, lower valuations work in your favor during settlementThis episode provides essential knowledge for anyone navigating property division in divorce. Seth and Pete offer practical guidance on protecting your interests while maintaining transparency in the appraisal process. Their discussion of real-world cases and strategic considerations makes complex appraisal concepts accessible and actionable.Links & NotesSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:26) - Appraisals (02:02) - Garage Sale Value Unless… (03:07) - Why to Get an Appraisal (04:29) - When to Do It (05:29) - High vs. Low Appraisal (06:33) - Before or After Marriage Purchases (07:14) - Identification (08:51) - Quality (09:36) - Special Circumstances (09:52) - Value (13:48) - Separate vs. Joint Appraisals (15:44) - Analyzing the Appraisal (17:23) - Collecting Data (18:04) - Recording the Data (19:21) - The Report (19:54) - Can Be Tedious and Detailed (23:25) - Conflict in the Process (26:06) - Tainting Judge's Opinion (26:51) - Active Appreciation and Depreciation (28:33) - Virtual Appraisals (29:12) - When to Update Appraisals (31:15) - Back to High vs. Low (33:30) - When It's Overseas (35:22) - Wrap Up

The Art of Divorce Depositions: Strategy, Preparation, and SuccessIn this episode of the season-long "Your Divorce Case" series, Seth and Pete tackle one of the most crucial elements of divorce proceedings: depositions. As Seth notes, depositions are where cases can be won or lost, making this episode essential listening for anyone facing divorce proceedings.The discussion reveals the strategic chess game that unfolds during depositions, from how attorneys prepare their clients to the careful dance of questions and answers. Seth shares insights from his years of experience, explaining why depositions are his favorite part of legal proceedings and how proper preparation can make all the difference. The episode covers everything from the basic structure of a deposition to advanced techniques for handling difficult questions, all while emphasizing the importance of authenticity and honesty in your responses.Questions we answer in this episode:What rules should I follow when answering deposition questions?How do attorney objections work during a deposition?What rights do I have if questioning becomes hostile?Key Takeaways:Listen carefully and only answer exactly what's askedTake your time reviewing documentsStay authentic - don't try to outsmart the processThis episode provides invaluable insights for anyone facing a deposition, offering both practical guidance and strategic understanding. Seth's enthusiasm for the deposition process, combined with real-world examples, makes complex legal concepts accessible and actionable for listeners.Links & NotesTune in to our Deposition Prep episode!Schedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:26) - Depositions (00:56) - What Is a Deposition? (02:41) - An Art, Not a Science (03:36) - Who Is Present? (04:02) - Questions and Answers and Objections (07:34) - Recorded vs. Live (09:10) - Strategy (13:39) - What You Can't Do (16:05) - Attorney Client Privilege (18:11) - Preparing the Client (20:33) - It's an Interview, Not a Conversation (23:00) - How Much Coaching Works (25:11) - Recording Types (27:27) - Understand the Theme of Your Case (30:33) - Ethical Considerations (32:44) - Take Your Time (35:33) - Making Mistakes (36:53) - Wrap Up

In this episode of our Your Divorce Case series, Seth and Pete explore the crucial role of Guardian Ad Litems (GALs) in custody cases. This episode breaks down how these court-appointed representatives work to protect children's interests during custody disputes, while navigating complex legal challenges like hearsay rules that can limit their effectiveness.The discussion centers on when and why courts appoint GALs, how they gather and present information, and their impact on custody decisions. Seth and Pete examine the limitations GALs face when presenting evidence from teachers, medical professionals, and other third parties, offering practical solutions for overcoming these obstacles. They also provide valuable insights into how parents can effectively work with GALs, including proper communication strategies and the importance of showing balanced perspectives about custody challenges.Questions we answer in this episode:When should you request a Guardian Ad Litem in your custody case?How can hearsay rules affect your GAL's effectiveness?What role do GALs play in the court's final custody decisions?Key Takeaways:Understanding hearsay rules is crucial for effective GAL testimonySuccessful GAL relationships require honest, organized communication from parentsCourts heavily weigh GAL recommendations, though they're not bound by themThis episode provides essential knowledge for parents navigating custody disputes. Whether you're considering requesting a GAL or have been assigned one, understanding their role, limitations, and the legal framework they operate within can significantly impact your case's outcome. Seth and Pete's practical advice offers valuable guidance for parents in the divorce process.Links & NotesSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:27) - The Guardian ad Litem (02:09) - Hearsay (04:52) - Truth of the Matter Asserted (06:43) - Exceptions to Hearsay Rule (09:05) - When to Use a GAL (10:48) - Connecting with the Kid (12:37) - Difference from a Therapist (14:32) - Impact (16:25) - How Do You Deal with the GAL? (17:55) - Coaching (20:14) - The Kid's Opinion (21:45) - Cost (23:04) - Common Mistakes (24:18) - Qualifications (26:41) - Wrap Up

Inside the Mediation Room: Understanding the Process with Family Law Mediator Tami SbarIn this episode of How to Split a Toaster, part of the season-long series Your Divorce Case, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright welcome back family law mediator Tami Sbar to dive deep into the mediation process. With 35 years of legal experience, Tami shares her unique perspective as a neutral party who helps divorcing couples reach agreements outside the courtroom. This episode builds on last week's discussion about mediation preparation, offering valuable insights into what actually happens during mediation sessions.Seth and Pete explore with Tami how mediation differs from courtroom proceedings, particularly in how it empowers couples to make their own decisions. Tami explains her role as a neutral facilitator rather than a decision-maker, and describes how she works with couples separately to help them reach mutually beneficial agreements. The conversation covers everything from managing power imbalances to handling emotional reactions, while providing practical examples of how mediators can help bridge communication gaps between divorcing partners.Questions we answer in this episode:What exactly does a mediator do during divorce proceedings?How do mediators handle situations with significant power imbalances?Can mediation address issues that courts can't enforce, like college expenses?Key Takeaways:Mediators work as neutral facilitators, not judges or decision-makersKeeping parties in separate rooms often leads to better outcomesSuccessful mediation requires both parties to be emotionally ready to settlePlus, we tackle another listener question! A parent asks about handling college expenses in states where courts don't address them, particularly when one parent previously promised to cover costs through inheritance. Seth and Tami discuss various solutions, from establishing trusts to creating detailed agreements with specific timeframes and conditions.Whether you're considering mediation or already scheduled for it, this episode provides crucial insights into the process. Tami's experienced perspective, combined with Seth and Pete's practical advice, offers valuable guidance for anyone navigating divorce mediation.Links & NotesSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:26) - Mediation with Tami Sbar (01:29) - Tami's Background (03:32) - Conditions to Get Through It (04:46) - Being ‘A Neutral' (06:20) - Finding Underlying Reasons (07:53) - With or Without Lawyers (09:14) - Compartmentalization (11:26) - Preparing Mentally for Mediation (16:31) - How Lawyers Can Mess Things Up (21:02) - Your Authority (22:56) - Negotiating (25:01) - Power Imbalances (29:57) - Finding a Good Mediator (32:07) - Certification (32:51) - Feeling Comfortable with Your Mediator (34:42) - Listener Question (42:36) - Wrap Up

Preparing for Mediation: What You Need to KnowIn this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright dive into the importance of preparation when it comes to mediation. As part of the season-long series "Your Divorce Case," Seth and Pete aim to equip listeners with the knowledge and tools they need to navigate the mediation process effectively. Next week, they'll be joined by mediator Tami Sbar to discuss the mediation process in depth.Seth and Pete emphasize the significance of setting realistic expectations for clients and the crucial role of emotional readiness in the mediation process. They discuss the confidential nature of mediation and how it differs from a trial setting. The hosts also highlight the importance of having a solid parenting plan and a clear understanding of financial matters before entering mediation.Questions we answer in this episode:What is mediation, and how does it fit into the court process?How can you prepare emotionally and mentally for mediation?What should you bring to mediation, and what can you expect during the process?Key Takeaways:Preparation is key to a successful mediation. Draft a parenting plan and gather financial documents beforehand.Mediation is confidential, allowing parties to speak freely and explore options without fear of repercussions in court.Compromising beyond your comfort level may be necessary, but it's often better than the alternative of going to court.Plus, we tackle another listener question! In "Fed Up with Frivolous Motions," a listener asks how to deal with a spouse who refuses to mediate and constantly files frivolous motions. Seth suggests requesting a scheduling order from the judge to set deadlines and keep the case moving forward.This episode is packed with valuable insights and practical advice for anyone preparing for mediation in their divorce case. By listening, you'll gain a better understanding of what to expect, how to prepare, and how to approach the process with the right mindset. Tune in to ensure you're well-equipped for your upcoming mediation session!Links & NotesSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:26) - Preparing for Mediation (01:14) - Setting Realistic Mediation Expectations (05:28) - Parenting Plan Mediation (09:13) - Getting Emotionally Ready (10:23) - Your Day to Talk Freely (14:12) - Goals (16:28) - What Causes Mediation to Fail (18:25) - Long Days (21:08) - Buyer's Remorse (25:08) - Last Notes (26:28) - Listener Question (30:02) - Wrap Up

The Final E: Understanding Everything Else in Your DivorceFamily law attorney Seth Nelson and co-host Pete Wright wrap up their journey through the PEACE Process, focusing on that last E – the often-overlooked but crucial "Everything Else" component. In this episode, they break down the practical aspects of divorce proceedings that can make or break your case.Seth and Pete dive deep into the importance of process management in divorce cases, from document preparation to courtroom proceedings. They explore how setting clear goals at the start can help navigate the emotional complexity of divorce while staying focused on what matters most. The conversation covers everything from working with paralegals as accountability partners to understanding the role of private investigators in gathering evidence, and the critical aspects of attorney fees and retainers.Questions we answer in this episode:How do I manage the overwhelming amount of documentation needed for my divorce?What should I expect regarding timeline and costs for my divorce proceedings?How do attorney retainers work and what are my financial obligations?Key Takeaways:Start with your end goals and work backward to create an effective strategyMake time for your case and utilize support staff as accountability partnersUnderstand the true timeline of divorce proceedings - even "simple" cases typically take 3-18 monthsThis episode provides invaluable insights into the practical aspects of divorce proceedings that often catch people off guard. Seth and Pete's straightforward discussion about process management, documentation requirements, and financial considerations offers listeners a comprehensive roadmap for navigating their divorce journey more effectively.Links & NotesSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:34) - Everything Else (01:30) - Attorney's Fees and the Process (02:26) - Starting at the End (06:13) - Reactive (07:25) - Foreign Place (09:59) - Working Backward (12:21) - Make the Time (14:54) - Working with a Paralegal (16:27) - Understanding the Next Step (18:19) - Trial Prep (20:39) - The Theme of Your Story (23:08) - Hiring PIs (25:07) - Client Gathering Info (28:37) - Walking Through It (33:39) - Attorney's Fees (39:50) - Tax Implications (40:21) - Wrap Up

‘Tis the Season... for Co-Parenting Conflict!No parent wants to deal with emergency motion handling orders or duty judges on the holidays, but it happens. Stress can be high and the holidays – any holiday – can become a ripe place to pick a fight. So how do you avoid conflict to make the holidays still a special time for the kids?The key is to do everything you can to avoid problems. Often, that means getting your ego out of the way so that you and your ex can make it about the kids. Avoid exchanges on travel days. Try to not split actual holidays, but if you have to, think about the activities of the day and plan accordingly. (In other words, if you're splitting Christmas, do it in the afternoon so they can enjoy Christmas morning.) And do what you can to avoid escalation – perhaps you need to stay away from the eggnog until after you've dropped the kids off.What about gifts? The kids were used to getting gifts from both parents. You don't have to stop co-gifting just because you're divorced. It may be what your child needs to feel safe around the holiday. Seth and Pete offer lots of great advice. Tune in, and have yourself a happy and safe holiday season.Links & NotesSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (01:00) - Co-Parenting During the Holidays (01:17) - Holiday Emergencies (03:09) - Don't Exchange on Travel Days (06:45) - Splitting Holidays (09:11) - Points of Escalation (11:05) - Gifts (14:27) - Other Holidays (21:06) - Avoid Conflict for the Kids (22:31) - Lower Expectations (22:59) - Enjoy the Holidays

Welcome to Winter! It's that time of year we love to hunker down and reflect, taking just a few weeks to recharge and prepare for the burst of new life in the spring. We have a few episodes from the archives to share with you over these cozy weeks. First up, what was originally an episode about splitting the summer holidays comes today, just in time for winter's chill!Winter, that time we celebrate the most cherished of all divorce traditions, that special time when you sit down and ask: how do you split the holidays?Let's get this out of the way early: if you have kids involved, splitting holidays is not easy. We're not just talking about the winter holidays, mind you. What about winter break... New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, Valentine's Day, birthdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day, spring break, President's Day, three-day weekends, teacher planning days, Jewish Holidays, Non-Hallmark holidays, and believe it or not, the list goes on from there!Luckily, after you wrap your head around the sheer number of days to calculate, you can rest easy in the comfort of the one person in your corner who can help you with all that holiday math: your lawyer. That's right, your lawyer has likely been through this many, many times and has seen every possible permutation of the holiday split and with a little patience, can get you scheduling like a pro. (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (01:21) - Splitting Holidays (24:58) - Definition of the Week – Deposition (26:58) - Working With Your Lawyer When It Comes to Holidays (33:58) - Wrapping Up

Uncovering Hidden Assets in Divorce with Forensic Accountant Kristin DiMeoIn this installment of our "Your Divorce Case" series, Seth and Pete welcome Kristin DiMeo, a forensic accountant and expert witness who has seen Seth in action representing clients in mediations and trials. The conversation focuses on Kristin's role in the divorce process, looking backwards at a couple's finances to uncover and analyze assets that may be hidden or overlooked.As a CPA, Kristin compiles and examines past financial records to help answer key questions about a divorcing couple's money matters. Beyond digging into the details, she also assists clients and attorneys in settlement discussions and preparing exhibits for court. Seth and Pete dig into what someone should expect when working with a forensic accountant like Kristin and how she approaches complex issues like business valuations.Questions we answer in this episode:What does a forensic accountant do in divorce cases?How does a forensic accountant work with divorcing individuals and attorneys?What are the different approaches to valuing a business in a divorce?Key Takeaways:Forensic accounting is about uncovering financial details, not always catching deceptionDivorcing individuals can help the process by gathering as many financial documents as possibleBusiness valuations in divorce consider assets, income, the market and non-marital factorsFor anyone facing a divorce who is unsure about the complete financial picture, this episode is a must-listen. Seth, Pete and Kristin break down the crucial role a forensic accountant can play in ensuring all assets are accounted for and valued properly to enable fair settlement discussions. Tune in for an inside look at the financial side of untangling a marriage.Links & NotesSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (02:01) - Meet Kristin DiMeo (03:00) - The Forensic Accountant's Role (05:38) - Creating Transparency (10:49) - One or Both Parties (11:30) - Setting Up Your Expectations (15:44) - Discovery Methods (18:41) - Business Valuations (20:52) - Asset Approach (25:50) - Common Complications (29:02) - Alimony and Child Support (31:35) - Trial (35:29) - Live Questions (42:38) - Wrap Up Stay safe and sober this holiday season with Soberlink. Co-parenting can be challenging, especially when alcohol abuse is a concern. Give yourself and your family the gift of peace of mind during the holidays by using Soberlink's remote alcohol monitoring system. Improve trust, accountability, and communication in your co-parenting arrangement. Visit their site today to learn more and get $50 off. Happy Holidays from Soberlink!

Navigating the Complex World of Child SupportIn this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete dive deep into the often murky waters of child support, the C in the PEACE Process. With precise rules, high stakes, and emotions running even higher, understanding child support is crucial for anyone going through a divorce.Unraveling the Intricacies of Child SupportIn this installment of our season-long look called Your Divorce Case, Seth and Pete break down the complexities of child support, explaining that it has little to do with actual child expenses. Instead, the state uses a mathematical formula based on the combined net income of both parents to determine the amount of support needed. They discuss how factors such as the number of children, parenting time, and additional expenses like health insurance premiums and uncovered medical costs impact the calculation.Questions we answer in this episode:• How is child support calculated?• What factors influence child support payments?• Can the court deviate from the child support guidelines?Key Takeaways:• Child support is based on a formula, not actual child expenses.• The percentage of financial responsibility for each parent is crucial.• Regular recurring income, such as bonuses and vested stock options, counts towards child support calculations.Seth and Pete's in-depth analysis of child support provides valuable insights for anyone navigating the complexities of divorce. By understanding the nuances of the guidelines, parents can better prepare for the financial aspects of co-parenting and ensure the well-being of their children post-divorce.Links & NotesFree Child Support Calculations on Family Law SoftwareSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (02:00) - The PEACE Process: Child Support (04:34) - Not Just About Child Expenses (07:19) - Who Pays Whom? (13:19) - No Reason to Fight (13:47) - Deviating from Guidelines (15:50) - Kids from Multiple Marriages (19:02) - Finding the Net Income (27:19) - Changes in Circumstance (30:21) - Enforcement (32:07) - Bankruptcy (32:50) - Can't Waive the Right (33:48) - Modification (35:09) - How Does the Court Know? (37:33) - Extracurriculars (38:50) - Remarriages (42:34) - Almost Wrap Up (43:18) - Alimony (44:09) - Real Wrap Up Stay safe and sober this holiday season with Soberlink. Co-parenting can be challenging, especially when alcohol abuse is a concern. Give yourself and your family the gift of peace of mind during the holidays by using Soberlink's remote alcohol monitoring system. Improve trust, accountability, and communication in your co-parenting arrangement. Visit their site today to learn more and get $50 off. Happy Holidays from Soberlink!

Show Me The Money: Understanding Modern AlimonyIn this episode of How to Split a Toaster, divorce attorney Seth Nelson and Pete Wright dive into the complex world of alimony. As part of their comprehensive P.E.A.C.E. Process mini-series, they break down what alimony really means today, who might be eligible, and how courts determine payments.Over the course of the episode, Seth and Pete demystify how alimony actually works. They explore everything from basic calculations to lifestyle considerations, debunk common misconceptions about savings components, and explain why "need and ability to pay" matters more than simple income differences. The discussion covers various types of alimony payments, from short-term support during transitions to longer-term arrangements, and explains how courts look at the whole financial picture.Questions we answer in this episode:• How do courts calculate alimony payments?• What expenses can be included in alimony calculations?• Can I modify my alimony after divorce?Key Takeaways:• Alimony is based on need and ability to pay, not just income differences• Don't forget to factor in new expenses like health insurance and HOA dues• Consider lump sum payments to avoid ongoing financial entanglementPlus, we tackle several listener questions! From high-income scenarios to job loss situations, Seth explains how courts handle various real-world alimony challenges and what rights both parties have when circumstances change.Whether you're facing divorce or just want to understand how modern alimony works, this episode provides essential insights into one of divorce's most misunderstood aspects. Seth and Pete's practical approach makes complex financial concepts accessible while offering strategies to protect yourself financially during and after divorce.Links & NotesSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:26) - PEACE: Alimony (02:20) - Quiz Time (05:58) - Starting Point (07:37) - Understanding Where the Money's Going (11:47) - Forensic Accounting (12:49) - Unanticipated Income (15:55) - Ability to Pay (19:14) - Changes in Alimony (21:26) - Ways to Save in Fees (28:12) - Listener Questions (33:28) - Wrap Up

Splitting Assets in Divorce: More Than Just Breaking a Toaster in HalfIn this episode of How to Split a Toaster, divorce attorney Seth Nelson and Pete Wright tackle the thorny issue of dividing assets in divorce. As part of their P.E.A.C.E. Process mini-series, Seth and Pete break down what "equitable distribution" really means - and why it's about way more than just splitting everything 50/50.Seth and Pete walk through the four key steps of dividing assets: Identification (what stuff do we actually have?), Classification (whose stuff is it really?), Valuation (what's it worth?), and Distribution (who gets what?). They cover everything from basic bank accounts to complex business valuations, and even dive into some surprising assets you might not think about - like vacation days and airline miles. Along the way, they share real-world examples that show why "fair" in divorce court might not match your definition of fairness.Questions we answer in this episode:• How do you figure out what's "yours," "mine," and "ours" in a divorce?• What happens when one person tries to hide assets?• Can my ex get half my frequent flyer miles?Key Takeaways:• Just because something's in your name doesn't mean it's all yours• Personal goodwill (like your winning personality) isn't a marital asset• Sometimes arguing for "fairness" means you've already lostPlus, we tackle another listener question! A California resident asks about inherited money that got mixed into shared accounts and home purchases during marriage. Seth explains why following the money matters and how different states handle these situations differently (spoiler alert: location matters!).Whether you're facing divorce or just curious about how courts slice and dice assets, this episode breaks down complex legal concepts into bite-sized pieces. Seth and Pete take a practical approach to help make this topic both digestible and surprisingly engaging.Links & NotesSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:27) - PEACE: Equitable Distribution (01:10) - Equitable, Not Equal (01:38) - Identification (03:55) - Classification (09:35) - Both Marital and Non-Marital (11:30) - Filing Date (12:23) - Proof (13:32) - Rings (14:42) - Valuation (19:34) - Valuing a Business (24:40) - Distribution (26:55) - Not Equitable (28:21) - Hiding Assets (31:52) - Prenups (34:40) - Lots of Nuance (35:26) - Listener Question (41:16) - Wrap Up

Reunification Therapy: Rebuilding Parent-Child Relationships During and After DivorceSeth Nelson and Pete Wright welcome psychotherapist Gina Aguinaga to explore one of the most challenging aspects of divorce: repairing fractured parent-child relationships. As part of their ongoing "Your Divorce Case" series, this episode dives deep into reunification therapy. Gina, who specializes in helping families navigate difficult divorces and separations, brings her expertise to this crucial conversation about healing broken family bonds.The episode examines the nuanced dynamics of parent-child estrangement during divorce, including both unintentional and intentional alienation behaviors. Seth and Pete guide the discussion through practical approaches to rebuilding relationships, from simple first steps like phone calls to the importance of maintaining presence at children's events. Gina shares insights from her therapeutic process, emphasizing the need to treat family issues holistically rather than focusing solely on the rejected parent and child relationship.Questions we answer in this episode:What behaviors or situations typically lead to parent-child estrangement during divorce?How can parents start rebuilding damaged relationships with their children?When should families seek reunification therapy versus trying to handle issues themselves?Key Takeaways:Start with small, manageable steps toward rebuilding relationshipsFocus on the child's activities and interests during reconnection attemptsAddress issues early - waiting only makes reunification more challengingThis vital installment in the children and divorce conversation provides essential guidance for parents navigating complicated family dynamics. Through professional insight and practical examples, listeners gain valuable strategies for maintaining and rebuilding parent-child relationships during the divorce process, making it a crucial resource for families in transition.Links & NotesFind Gina and learn more about the reunification process at her websiteSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:26) - Meet Gina Aguinaga, Reunification Specialist (01:00) - When Reunification Therapy Is Needed (03:36) - Reasons (06:25) - When the Child Doesn't Want to Connect (07:59) - Role of Favored Parent (10:27) - Intentional Alienation (13:20) - Court-Ordered (15:41) - The Favored Parent's Perspective (16:57) - Frequency (18:48) - Changing Outcomes (20:49) - New People in Parents' Lives (21:12) - Extended Family (22:24) - Harder Cases (24:04) - When They're Doing the Work (26:14) - Out of State (27:50) - Get Your Own Treatment Too (30:24) - Finding Gina

Parenting Across Two Homes: Strategies for Success After DivorceIn this installment of our Your Divorce Case series, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright continue the conversation about parenting plans by exploring the realities of co-parenting children across two households after divorce. They are joined by Leanne Tran, a registered psychologist who specializes in working with children and families dealing with autism, ADHD, and learning disorders. Building upon the previous episode about crafting effective parenting plans, Seth and Pete dive deeper into the impacts of divorce on children and strategies for successful co-parenting, with a special focus on the unique considerations for neurodivergent kids.Leanne shares valuable insights on the key factors that influence how children cope with the changes brought by divorce, such as the level of parental conflict, disruption to routines and sense of identity, and the emotional and behavioral signs of distress parents should watch out for. The discussion also touches on the additional challenges faced by neurodivergent children, who may struggle more with transitions, need for sameness, and sensory sensitivities. Leanne emphasizes the importance of parents being on the same page, providing consistency across households, and being mindful of the impact on siblings as well.Questions we answer in this episode:What signs indicate a child is struggling emotionally with divorce?How can parents best support neurodivergent children across two homes?What should be considered when introducing a new partner to the family dynamic?Key Takeaways:Changes in behavior, emotions, sleep, appetite, and interests can signal distress.Consistency, predictability, and catering to sensory needs are crucial for neurodivergent kids.Clear communication and gradual introductions help children adjust to new partners.Through the lens of her expertise, Leanne provides valuable guidance for parents navigating the complexities of co-parenting, both for neurotypical and neurodivergent children. This episode offers practical tips and compassionate advice to help families thrive after divorce, building upon the foundation of a well-crafted parenting plan discussed in the previous episode. Tune in for insights that can make a real difference in your post-divorce parenting journey.Links & NotesFind Leanne on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, LinkedIn, and her websiteListen to Leanne's podcast Parent Like a PsychologistSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (02:10) - Meet Leanne Tran (04:21) - Impact on Kids (06:20) - Signs of Distress (07:51) - Changing Their Own Identity (11:11) - Changes in Routine (13:35) - When They're Neurodiverse (18:43) - Autism (21:03) - Splitting Time (23:03) - Finding a Sense of Regulation (23:48) - Impact on Siblings (25:14) - New Partners (28:26) - Therapeutic Options (32:13) - Handling Parenting Plan (33:51) - Priority Dilution (38:17) - Finding Leanne (39:32) - Wrap Up Learn more about the Holiday Harmony: Soberlink's Tools for Safe and Conflict-Free Co-Parenting webinar and sign up to attend right here! It's on Saturday, November 16th, at 9:30a PT. 

Parenting Plans: The Foundation of Co-Parenting After DivorceIn this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright dive deep into the crucial topic of parenting plans as part of their season-long series, Your Divorce Case. Seth shares his expertise on the essential components of a parenting plan and how they can help establish a solid foundation for co-parenting after divorce.Navigating the Complexities of Parenting PlansSeth and Pete discuss the key aspects of parenting plans, including parental responsibility, time-sharing, and addressing the unique needs of children at different ages. They explore how the court determines the best interests of the child using various factors and delve into the implications of relocation cases. The hosts also touch on the importance of flexibility and adaptability in parenting plans while maintaining clear and enforceable guidelines.Questions we answer in this episode:What are the essential components of a parenting plan?How do courts determine the best interests of the child?What happens when one parent needs to relocate for work?Key Takeaways:Parenting plans should be clear, unambiguous, and enforceableFlexibility and adaptability are crucial for successful co-parentingSubstantial changes in circumstances can warrant modifications to the parenting planThis episode offers invaluable insights for anyone navigating the complexities of divorce with children. Seth's expertise and Pete's thoughtful questions provide listeners with a comprehensive understanding of parenting plans and how they can help establish a strong foundation for co-parenting after divorce. By tuning in, you'll gain the knowledge and tools needed to create a parenting plan that prioritizes your children's well-being and fosters a healthy co-parenting relationship.Links & NotesSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (02:10) - PEACE: Parenting Plan (03:08) - Essential Components (05:58) - Legal Terms (07:49) - Determining What's Best for the Child (11:27) - Weight for the Factors (12:52) - Geography (15:51) - How Detailed? (18:32) - Allowing for Flexibility (20:39) - Modifying It (23:19) - Enforceability (26:18) - Education, Healthcare, Extracurriculars, Etc. (29:14) - Changes in FL Law (31:01) - It's About the Child, Not You (33:03) - Wrap Up Learn more about the Holiday Harmony: Soberlink's Tools for Safe and Conflict-Free Co-Parenting webinar and sign up to attend right here! It's on Saturday, November 16th, at 9:30a PT. 

Temporary Relief in Your DivorceIn the latest installment of the Your Divorce Case series, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright dive into the complex world of temporary relief. Join them as they explore what temporary relief is, who it helps, who it hurts, and why it matters in the grand scheme of your divorce proceedings.Navigating the Choppy Waters of DivorceSeth and Pete break down the concept of temporary relief, a legal lifeline designed to keep families afloat during the tumultuous divorce process. They discuss how temporary relief can address critical issues like parenting plans, alimony, child support, and attorney's fees. The hosts also delve into the pros and cons of seeking temporary relief and the potential impact on the final outcome of your case.Questions we answer in this episode:What is temporary relief and how can it help during a divorce?How do you request temporary relief and what can you ask for?What are the potential drawbacks of pursuing temporary relief?Key Takeaways:Temporary relief can level the playing field in contentious divorcesRequesting temporary relief involves filing motions and attending hearingsSeeking temporary relief can be costly and time-consuming, so weigh the pros and consSeth and Pete emphasize that while temporary relief can provide much-needed support during a divorce, it's crucial to consider the financial and emotional costs involved. They offer valuable insights into the strategic decisions you'll face when contemplating temporary relief in your own divorce case.This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating divorce. With their trademark wit and expertise, Seth and Pete provide the guidance you need to make informed decisions about temporary relief and protect your interests during this challenging time.Links & NotesSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (02:10) - Temporary Relief (03:35) - What It's Supposed to Do (16:38) - Why to Consider It (17:25) - The Process (20:06) - Pros and Cons (26:06) - Review (27:59) - How Influential (29:47) - Wrap Up (30:03) - Listener Question Learn more about the Holiday Harmony: Soberlink's Tools for Safe and Conflict-Free Co-Parenting webinar and sign up to attend right here! It's on Saturday, November 16th, at 9:30a PT. 

Meet the Key Players in Your DivorceIn this seventh installment of the "Your Divorce Case" series on How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete dive into the various court personnel and professionals you might encounter during your divorce proceedings. From judges to forensic accountants, they break down the roles and responsibilities of each key player, helping you navigate the complex world of divorce court with greater ease and understanding.Throughout the episode, Seth and Pete discuss a wide range of court personnel, including trial judges, appellate judges, judicial assistants, bailiffs, court reporters, and clerks of the court. They also explore the roles of professionals outside the courtroom, such as divorce attorneys, paralegals, forensic accountants, guardians ad litem, mediators, and more. By understanding the function of each individual, you'll be better prepared to work with them effectively throughout your case.Questions we answer in this episode:Who are the key players in a divorce case, both inside and outside the courtroom?What roles do court personnel and professionals play in the divorce process?How can understanding these roles help you navigate your divorce more effectively?Key Takeaways:Familiarize yourself with the various court personnel and professionals involved in your case.Understand the responsibilities of each key player to work with them more effectively.Respect and be courteous to all individuals involved, as their actions can impact your case.As part of the "Your Divorce Case" series, this episode is a must-listen for anyone going through a divorce or considering one. By gaining a clear understanding of the key players in your case, you'll be empowered to make informed decisions and work more productively with your legal team. Seth and Pete's insights will help you feel more confident and prepared as you navigate this challenging process.Links & NotesSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (02:10) - Court Personnel (04:06) - Pop Quiz (10:55) - Appellate Judge (14:04) - Trial Judge (14:45) - Judicial Assistant (15:19) - Bailiff (16:39) - Court Reporter (17:32) - Paralegals, Legal Assistant, Scheduler, Clerk of the Court (18:55) - Mediation (23:22) - Forensic Accountant (26:33) - Corporate Counsel (28:04) - Social Investigator (29:07) - General Magistrate (31:30) - Lawyers (33:13) - Other Roles (38:24) - Wrap Up Learn more about the Holiday Harmony: Soberlink's Tools for Safe and Conflict-Free Co-Parenting webinar and sign up to attend right here! It's on Saturday, November 16th, at 9:30a PT. 

Effortlessly Navigate the Motions Maze in Your Divorce CaseIn this sixth installment of our series, Your Divorce Case, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright dive deeper into the world of motions in divorce proceedings. Building upon the foundation laid in Motions Part I, we explore the differences between evidentiary and non-evidentiary hearings, discuss various types of motions you may encounter, and provide valuable insights to help you navigate this crucial aspect of your divorce case.Seth and Pete break down the key distinctions between evidentiary and non-evidentiary hearings, highlighting the importance of understanding what to expect in each type of hearing. They also discuss common motions, such as temporary orders, restraining orders, and motions to compel, providing real-world examples and practical advice for listeners facing these challenges in their own divorce cases.Questions we answer in this episode:What's the difference between evidentiary and non-evidentiary hearings?Do I need to testify at every hearing during my divorce?What are some common motions filed in divorce cases?Key Takeaways:Always be prepared to answer questions in court, even if it's a non-evidentiary hearing.Evidentiary hearings are like mini-trials, with witnesses, evidence, and cross-examination.Familiarize yourself with the types of motions that may arise in your divorce case.This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the complexities of divorce. Seth and Pete's insights and practical advice will help you understand the motions process, prepare for hearings, and make informed decisions throughout your case. Whether you're just starting your divorce journey or in the thick of it, this episode will provide the knowledge and confidence you need to move forward.Links & NotesSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:26) - Motions Part II (01:11) - Catch-Up on Last Week (02:41) - Motions Quiz (12:18) - Evidentiary vs. Non-Evidentiary Hearings (25:40) - What to Expect as the Client (28:07) - When They're Filed Against Me (34:54) - Next Week: Court Personnel

In part 5 of the Your Divorce Case series, Seth and Pete dive deep into the world of motions in divorce law. They explore what motions are, why they matter, and how the right move can dramatically impact your case.Seth and Pete break down the different types of motions, from motions to compel and for contempt, to emergency motions and motions for temporary relief. They discuss the requirements and strategies for each, sharing insider tips on how to effectively present your case to the judge in the limited time you have.Questions we answer in this episode:What are motions and why are they important in divorce cases?How do I get a hearing scheduled for my motion?What types of motions are common in divorce proceedings?Key Takeaways:Motions are requests for the court to take action before the case is finalizedThoroughly prepare for your motion hearing as time with the judge is limitedUnderstand the specific requirements and procedures for different types of motionsWhether you're seeking temporary alimony, exclusive use of the marital home, or enforcement of a prior court order, this episode arms you with the knowledge to confidently navigate the maze of motions in divorce court. Seth and Pete's expert insights and practical advice make this a must-listen for anyone facing divorce litigation.Links & NotesSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:26) - Motions (02:13) - What Are They? (11:17) - Emergency Motions (13:03) - Motion for Temporary Relief (17:39) - Scheduling a Hearing (26:00) - After the Ruling (33:58) - Next Week: Motions Part II (35:03) - Wrap Up

Divorce Questions Answered: Navigating the ComplexitiesIn this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete dive into listener questions, addressing a wide range of divorce-related topics. From the financial implications of staying married on paper to the impact of alcohol consumption on custody, Seth and Pete provide insightful guidance to help you navigate the complexities of divorce.Throughout the episode, Seth and Pete tackle real-life scenarios submitted by listeners, offering practical advice and legal perspectives. They discuss the pros and cons of staying married for financial benefits, the factors considered in relocation cases, and the potential consequences of winning the lottery during a divorce. Seth and Pete also address the emotional challenges of dating during a divorce and the importance of focusing on your children's well-being.Some questions we answer in this episode:• What are the financial pros and cons of staying married on paper?• How does alcohol consumption impact custody decisions?• Can a judge force a parent to return after relocating without filing?Key Takeaways:• Timing and legal nuances play a crucial role in divorce proceedings.• Prioritize your children's well-being and seek legal advice before making decisions.• Be mindful of the long-term consequences of your actions during a divorce.Whether you're considering a divorce or currently going through one, this episode provides valuable insights and guidance. Seth and Pete's expertise and relatable approach make complex legal concepts accessible, empowering you to make informed decisions. Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of the divorce process and discover strategies to protect your interests and maintain healthy relationships.Links & NotesSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (02:04) - Listener Questions (02:50) - Married-ish in Malibu (09:11) - Alcohol and Custody (13:14) - Muddled by Moving (16:02) - Lucky Lotto Limbo (18:33) - Longing for Love (20:58) - Pregnant and Perplexed (24:34) - Pension Ponderer (26:57) - Retirement Percentage Perplexed (28:44) - Dissolution Deliberator (31:53) - Sam (33:21) - Family Law Fixer (37:17) - Saddled with Spousal Support (41:05) - Reconciliation Rollercoaster (42:52) - Falsely Accused Father (45:17) - Endless Ex Entanglement (49:49) - Commingled Cash Conundrum (50:18) - Breathalyzer Burden of Proof Puzzled (51:31) - Wrap Up Establishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.

Navigating the Complexities of Pleadings in DivorceIn this episode of "How to Split a Toaster" – part three of our Your Divorce Case series – Seth Nelson and Pete Wright dive into the intricate world of divorce proceedings, focusing on the crucial role of pleadings. Seth and Pete aim to demystify the legal jargon and provide valuable insights to help listeners navigate their divorce cases more effectively.We explore the emotional and legal significance of filing for divorce, discussing the various documents involved, such as petitions, counter-petitions, and answers. They shed light on the importance of properly drafting and filing these documents, as they set the stage for the entire divorce process. The hosts also delve into the nuances of residency requirements and how they can impact the court's jurisdiction over a case.Questions we answer in this episode:What are pleadings and why are they important in a divorce case?How can the way pleadings are drafted influence the outcome of your divorce?What should you consider when deciding whether to file for divorce first?Key Takeaways:Pleadings are crucial documents that set the foundation for your entire divorce case.It's essential to work with your lawyer to ensure your pleadings accurately reflect your goals and desires.Understanding the legal terminology and process can help you make informed decisions throughout your divorce.This episode provides a wealth of information for anyone considering or currently going through a divorce. By breaking down complex legal concepts and offering practical advice, Seth and Pete empower listeners to take a more active role in their divorce cases and work towards achieving the best possible outcome for themselves and their families.Links & NotesSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (02:04) - Pleadings (03:09) - The Filing (05:34) - A Pleading (06:50) - Petition and Answer and Counter Petition (11:04) - Residency (15:42) - Notice Pleadings (17:57) - Amended Positions (22:37) - Getting Pleadings Right (26:11) - Boilerplate Items (30:32) - When Pleadings are Closed (32:23) - Your Answer (38:19) - Wrap Up Establishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.

Navigating the Do's and Don'ts of DivorceThis week on How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete dive into the second episode of Your Divorce Case, a season dedicated to providing listeners with practical advice for navigating the complexities of divorce. This episode tackles a critical aspect of the process: your actions. Seth and Pete emphasize the importance of taking responsibility and making conscious choices throughout the divorce journey to minimize conflict, reduce legal fees, and prioritize the well-being of everyone involved.This episode centers around the concept of maintaining the "status quo." Seth and Pete explain the significance of standing orders, which are court-issued guidelines that dictate behavior during divorce proceedings. They delve into various aspects of maintaining the status quo, such as managing finances, co-parenting responsibly, and communicating effectively. From handling credit card spending to navigating shared expenses and making major purchases, they offer practical advice on avoiding common pitfalls that can escalate conflict and legal costs. They also emphasize the importance of clear, respectful communication with your ex-spouse, especially when it comes to children, and caution against involving friends and family in a way that could negatively impact the case.Questions we answer in this episode:What are standing orders, and how do they impact my divorce?How can I manage finances responsibly during the divorce process?What are the implications of dating during a divorce?Key Takeaways:Maintain the "status quo" in all aspects of your life, particularly finances and childcare.Communicate with your ex-spouse clearly, respectfully, and factually, avoiding emotional language.Seek support from a therapist rather than involving friends and family, who could potentially become witnesses in your caseThis episode of How to Split a Toaster is an invaluable resource for anyone going through a divorce. Seth and Pete provide practical advice and actionable steps to help listeners navigate the process with greater clarity, control, and peace of mind.Links & NotesBIFF for Co-Parent Communication by Bill EddySchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (02:04) - Your Actions Matter (04:31) - Standing Orders (05:20) - Financial Status Quo (11:10) - Out of the Ordinary Expenses (14:13) - Standing Orders with Kids (16:34) - Communication Strategies (20:45) - “I believe” (22:24) - Dating During Your Divorce (25:35) - Discoverable (26:26) - Friends and Family (28:25) - Protected Communication (29:29) - Therapist (31:29) - Relocation (36:09) - The Move (42:24) - Documents (44:15) - No Photos (46:11) - Next Time: Pleadings (47:49) - Wrap Up Establishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.

In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright kick off season 10 with an exciting and in-depth season-long series: Your Divorce Case. In this first episode, we start by diving into one of the most important relationships you'll have during your divorce: the one with your attorney. Seth shares his expertise on establishing the attorney-client relationship, from the initial consultation to the next steps in the process.Seth and Pete discuss key aspects of working with a divorce attorney, including attorney-client privilege, conflict checks, and what to expect during your first call. They also explore strategies for finding the right lawyer for your case and how having a good attorney on the other side can benefit both parties.Questions we answer in this episode:• When does the attorney-client relationship begin?• What should you expect during the initial consultation?• How can you prepare for your first call with a divorce attorney?Key Takeaways:• Attorney-client privilege starts from the moment you believe the attorney represents you, even without a formal agreement.• Be prepared for conflict checks and providing basic information during your first call.• Having a skilled attorney on the other side can help resolve your case more efficiently.Seth and Pete's insights will help you navigate the early stages of your attorney-client relationship with confidence. By understanding the process and knowing what to expect, you'll be better equipped to work with your lawyer and achieve your goals in the divorce.This episode is packed with valuable information that can save you time, money, and stress as you begin working with a divorce attorney. Tune in to learn how to establish a strong foundation for one of the most critical relationships in your divorce journey.Links & NotesSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:26) - The First Call (01:39) - The Attorney-Client Relationship (06:49) - Tracking Conflicts (09:11) - What You Should Expect (12:41) - Conflicting-Out Strategies (15:44) - Goal for This Conversation (20:57) - Cost and Duration (22:33) - Expectations for Second Call (24:31) - Season 10 Plans (26:26) - Checklist (27:59) - Wrap Up Establishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.

Learning to Communicate with a NarcissistNarcissist Divorce Coach Victoria McCooey joins Seth and Pete to talk about the challenges that come when trying to get out of a marriage to a narcissist. It's not easy! We walk through Victoria's three stages in communicating with your narcissist soon-to-be ex that can help you more easily navigate this difficult situation through each of its phases.Victoria has been through her own divorce from just this sort of person and has turned that experience into a powerful mission to help others do the same.Links & NotesVictoria McCooey Coaching:on the webon Instagramon Facebookon TikTokon YouTubeSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (01:34) - Meet Victoria McCooey (02:05) - Three Phases in Communicating With a Narcissistic Spouse (04:31) - Getting Ahead (06:10) - Turning to Attorney (07:29) - The Stepford Wife Phase (09:05) - Phase Two (10:05) - Learning to Not Take the Bait (15:22) - Taking a While to Get Out (17:17) - Communicating During Divorce Podcast (18:38) - STUFF (21:12) - Other People's Eyeballs (22:32) - Problem With Message or Sender? (24:28) - Kids Are the Priority (26:06) - Asking Lawyer What to Gather (27:03) - Getting Stronger (28:58) - How Will It Be Presented? (29:59) - Phase Three (33:01) - Reaching Out to Victoria (36:14) - Wrap Up

When you hear the term ‘Custody Battle,' you have a certain image in your mind. Courtroom fights, crying kids, the worst stereotypes we learn from movies and television. But what happens when you find yourself in a fight for the custody of your kids for real? This week on the show, we welcome Reneé Rodriguez, custody coach and founder of Best Foot Forward, a company with a singular mission: helping parents navigate family court in contentious custody situations.We talk about perspective – look at what you're bringing to your lawyer. Are they gripes? Or are they real issues? There's a difference between the real world and the legal world, and it's important to know the difference. The goal, of course, is to help you as the parent figure out what's actually in your best interest. That doesn't necessarily line up with what you think is in your best interest. The faster you're able to connect with that, the easier your custody battle will be.The key in all custody cases is, of course, the kids. How do you protect your kids so they are damaged as little as possible in the process? This is particularly true when trying to get away from a spouse who is a narcissist or abusive. And the real struggle here is that you have to acknowledge that court-ordered parenting classes rarely make a change in a parent. Courts can't order parents change to be better parents. But judges are real people. They're working to help the child end up in the best situation they can.There's a lot to discuss about this topic. Tune in!About ReneéI help parents in a custody battle against a narcissistic co-parent to go into family court and get the custody arrangement that's best for their kids.  These women and men have suffered psychological abuse at the hands of their former partners and are working to ensure their children are protected from further cruelty.  My company, Best Foot Forward, was founded in early 2018, born out of the encouragement of others to focus on what I had become highly skilled at--navigating family court with my particular strategy and set of templates and sharing all of this with others.Links & NotesNational Domestic Violence HotlineBest Foot Forward LLCBest Foot Forward's Custody TemplatesReneé on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTubeSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (01:44) - Meet Reneé Rodriguez (02:19) - Custody Battles (06:23) - Important to You vs. The Court (11:34) - Coaching the Parent (13:28) - What's Fair (14:06) - Documentation (17:56) - Buried in Details (19:54) - The Kids (23:59) - What's Kept Them Stable (27:46) - Domestic Violence (36:46) - High Conflct (39:25) - DV Hotline (40:15) - Reneé's Background (48:44) - Best Foot Forward (50:16) - Contentious Cases (51:26) - Wrap Up

How has divorce impacted your sex life? Have you noticed a difference in intimacy as you move through your separation, dating, and even sex in your subsequent marriages? How has your experience communicating about your sexual interests and experience changed through divorce? Dr. Joe Kort is a psychotherapist and founder of The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health and a board-certified clinical sexologist. He's here today to help us navigate the uncertain waters of your post-divorce sex life.Links & NotesFollow Joe Kort on TikTokThe Center for Relationship and Sexual Health (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (01:51) - Meet Dr. Joe Kort (02:56) - The Changing Landscape of Sex (03:41) - The Love Bomb (04:29) - Healthy Sex Conversations (08:32) - Changes in Post-Divorce Sex (09:48) - What Is the Love Bomb? (12:27) - Negotiating Sexual Differences (15:27) - From Relationship to Relationship (16:42) - Finding Yourself (18:19) - Sexual Identities That Change (20:00) - The Taboo of Sex Talk (23:49) - Rebalancing Power in a Sexual Dynamic (25:25) - Profiling Your Partner (28:17) - Different Backgrounds (29:55) - Practice (31:10) - Discussing Previous Sexual Relationships (35:39) - How the First Time Shapes Things (37:00) - Priorities (38:54) - Wrapping Up

Let's just say you're a woman and you're about to divorce. We know, crazy, right? But stay with us on this. When you walk away from your marriage, what is it that you most want your former spouse to know? If you could wave a magic wand, not to somehow recover your relationship, but to cast a spell that would ensure that your former spouse truly understood your perspective, what would you say? This week on the Toaster, Michelle Dempsey-Multack joins us from the Moms Moving On Podcast and she is here to wave just such a wand. She has turned her own divorce into a thriving practice, writing, podcasting, and coaching others. And after we talk about the value of that shared perspective, we dive deep on the importance of finding your own community for support and guidance through your divorce process.Links & NotesMoms Moving OnGet Michelle's new book, Moms Moving On: Real Life Advice for Conquering Divorce, Co-Parenting with Conflict and Becoming Your Best SelfSubscribe to Michelle's Podcast (00:00) - Hot Toaster Summer! (01:17) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (01:44) - Our Guest: Michelle Dempsey-Multack from the Moms Moving On Podcast (02:39) - Perspective Shift (05:02) - How You Speak About Your Ex (08:45) - Viewing the New Person in Your Ex's Life (14:39) - Normalizing Therapy for Men (23:12) - The Value of Communities (26:50) - Working to Keep the Relationship With Your Ex Positive (29:51) - Specific Divorce Community vs. Friend or Family Groups (31:11) - Learning to Be Alone (35:54) - Where to Find Michelle

In this season finale episode, Seth and Pete explore the concept of emotional capital in divorce with experienced matrimonial and family law attorney Al Feigenbaum. They dive into how preserving emotional well-being during and after a divorce is crucial for effective co-parenting and moving forward in life.The conversation touches on the importance of attorneys being attuned to their clients' mental health, the impact of the pandemic on divorcing couples, and how lawyers' own emotional capital can be affected by their work. Al shares insights on managing difficult conversations with clients and the pitfalls of getting overly emotionally invested as a divorce attorney.Questions we answer in this episode:• What is emotional capital in the context of divorce?• How can your emotional state impact divorce outcomes?• What role should a divorce attorney play in addressing a client's mental health?Key Takeaways:• Preserving emotional capital is crucial for effective co-parenting post-divorce• Attorneys need to be mindful of how their own communication can escalate emotions• It's important for attorneys to set boundaries and manage difficult client conversationsThis episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating a divorce who wants to understand the importance of emotional well-being in the process. Seth, Pete, and Al offer valuable perspectives on how to approach divorce in a way that prioritizes mental health and sets you up for a positive post-divorce future.Links & NotesSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!About Alan R. Feigenbaum | Blank Rome LLPInstagram (@nonlinearlovestories)Visit NonLinear Love and share your story (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (02:16) - What is Emotional Capital? (07:04) - Mental Health (18:34) - Financial Impact of Emotional Disregulation (26:18) - Nonlinear Love (31:36) - Learn More (33:00) - Listener Questions (33:16) - How does Greyson's Law impact those who have already gone through the courts but evidence was not submitted? (34:56) - Where does the 50/50 split line get drawn? (37:11) - Can I be forced to take a breathalyzer? (38:00) - Are there tax implications associated with our divorce filing date?

In this listener question episode, Seth and Pete address a variety of concerns that many individuals face when going through a divorce or considering ending their marriage.The hosts dive into topics such as dating during the divorce process, fighting for your marriage, handling unresponsive attorneys, and the potential impact of changing laws on no-fault divorces. They also discuss the differences between equitable distribution and alimony, inheritance laws in Florida, and how to approach property appraisals during a divorce.Questions we answer in this episode:How should you handle dating before your divorce is finalized?Can the divorce process actually save a marriage?What should you do if your attorney is unresponsive and hasn't filed important documents like your QDRO?Key Takeaways:Equitable distribution deals with the division of assets and debts, while alimony is based on need and ability to pay.In Florida, inheritance maintained as separate property is generally considered non-marital and not subject to equitable distribution.When seeking a property appraisal, focus on finding a reputable and qualified appraiser rather than trying to manipulate the outcome.It's an information-packed episode with questions sent in from listeners, and also from listeners who have used our chatbot on the website. Those questions are valuable too, so if you have questions of your own, make sure you get them asked and we'll do our best to answer them in an episode for you.Links & NotesReach out to Andy to practice dating while going through your divorceReach out to Matt Lundy to see if he works in your state regarding QDROsSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:26) - Listener Questions! (00:51) - Question #1 (02:57) - Question #2 (06:17) - Question #3 (10:27) - Question #4 (14:14) - Question #5 (18:39) - Question #6 (20:46) - Question #7 (25:38) - Question #8 (31:38) - Wrap Up

Navigating Post-Divorce Relationships with Wendi DumbroffIn this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete welcome Wendi L. Dumbroff, a licensed professional counselor and highly trained couple and sex therapist. The conversation centers on the challenges of maintaining civility and communication with an ex-spouse, particularly when children are involved.Seth and Pete explore the intricacies of post-divorce relationships, seeking guidance from Wendi on how to manage the emotional terrain while prioritizing the well-being of the children. They discuss the significance of redirecting negative energy, establishing clear communication goals, and discovering ways to be heard and validated during the difficult divorce process.Questions we answer in this episode:How can I communicate effectively with my ex when emotions are running high?What can I do to maintain a cordial relationship with my ex for the sake of our children?How do I handle the feelings of resentment and anger towards my ex-spouse?Key Takeaways:Prioritize your children's well-being and use that as motivation for maintaining civilitySet clear goals for your communication and ensure your messages align with those objectivesAcknowledge your feelings while finding ways to avoid reactive behavior that could escalate the situationThroughout the episode, Wendi offers valuable advice on reframing perspectives, understanding triggers, and doing the necessary personal work to navigate the challenges of post-divorce relationships. Seth and Pete provide relatable examples and insights, making this an engaging and informative listen for anyone grappling with divorce-related communication issues.Plus, we tackle not one but two listener questions!Links & NotesVisit Wendi's Website or find her on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, or FacebookSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:27) - Meet Wendi L. Dumbroff (00:58) - The Draw to Getting Along with Your Ex (06:30) - Civility During Resentment (07:54) - Help When in the Thick of It (11:33) - Reminding Yourself It's for Your Kids (14:32) - Correcting Yourself when Angry (20:56) - Being Heard (22:34) - Finding the Right Goal (27:15) - When You're Damaging the Process (28:59) - Action Steps (31:26) - Finding Wendi (31:46) - Listener Question #1 (37:48) - Listener Question #2 (40:47) - Wrap Up

Navigating the Complexities of Military DivorceIn this week's episode of How to Split a Toaster, Pete is joined by a special guest, Kristin Scully, the newest member of NLG Family Law Group. With Seth on vacation, Kristin steps in to share her expertise on the intricacies of military divorce. As a family law attorney with over ten years of experience, Kristin has developed a niche in handling military divorce cases, addressing issues such as pension division, parenting plans, and jurisdictional challenges.Pete and Kristin dive deep into the unique aspects of military divorce, discussing how factors like frequent relocation, deployments, and military benefits can complicate the process. They explore the misconceptions surrounding military pension division, the importance of understanding the service member's income structure, and the creative strategies for crafting parenting plans that accommodate the demands of military life.Some questions we answer in this episode:How is military pension divided in a divorce?What challenges do military families face when creating parenting plans?Can GI Bill benefits be divided in a military divorce?Key Takeaways:Military pension division is based on the length of the marriage overlapping with years of service, not just the total duration of the marriage.Parenting plans for military families should include provisions for long-distance and local schedules to minimize the need for constant modifications.Jurisdiction can be a complex issue in military divorces, especially when one spouse is stationed overseas.Plus, we tackle another listener question! A listener asks about the difference between a social investigator and a Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) in the context of divorce proceedings. Pete and Kristin clarify the distinct roles and responsibilities of these professionals, helping listeners understand when and why each may be appointed in a divorce case.This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the complexities of a military divorce. With Kristin's extensive knowledge and experience, listeners will gain valuable insights into the unique challenges and considerations involved in these cases. Whether you're a service member, a spouse, or a legal professional, this episode will provide you with the information and strategies you need to approach a military divorce with confidence and clarity.Links & NotesCheck out Kristin's pageSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here! (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster (00:30) - Kristin Scully and Military Divorce (01:14) - Kristin's Background (02:02) - Challenges in Military Divorce (03:07) - Military Pension (04:38) - Other Misconceptions (05:40) - Who Pays Pension? (07:23) - Alimony (08:57) - Thrift Savings Plan (09:53) - Calculating Service Member's Income (12:23) - Parenting Plans (14:33) - When Parents Can't Work Together (15:51) - Navigating Constant Change and Conflict (17:31) - Court's Perspective (18:38) - GI Bill (20:23) - Common Mistakes (23:45) - Overseas Courts (25:14) - Listener Question (29:52) - Survivor Benefit Plan (33:38) - Language in Final Judgment (34:24) - Wrap Up