Beyond Burnout - Life Management for Working Moms

Carrier oils are usually extracted from fruits,vegetables or nuts like avocado, coconut, sweet almond, grapeseed, etc. I made reference to a green cleaning solution courtesy of Liz Fulcher and her ebook on green cleaning at AromaticWisdom.com The drain cleaning recipe was 1 cup of baking soda + 5 drops of lemon essential oil. Sprinkle this down the drain, then follow it up with 1 cup of distilled vinegar. Wait an hour, then rinse with 4 cups of boiling water. In the last part of the podcast, I talk about drinking Kombucha as a source of probiotic.  Kombucha is a fermented tea and an excellent source of probiotic especially for those can not tolerate dairy (as in yogurt and kefir). I tasted it for the first time with the support of family and we all loved it.  It's carbonated and tastes similar to a hard cider.   HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/51 Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

Coloring is a process you can use to meditate.  It activates the creative part of your brain and allows you to focus on something pleasurable while you are distracted from the worries of life. It operates on the same principle as mindfulness meditation. Having trouble making meditation part of your routine?   Here are 5 tips for you. 1. Set a time a daily schedule.  Y 2. Start small.  Start with 5 minutes and work your way up in 5 minute increments 3. Always meditate in a comfortable position.  I 4. Start with focusing on your breath.   5.  Use a timer.   Set a timer so that you can fully be in the moment and be assured that you will know when it’s time to stop. I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/50 Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

Eliminating packaged foods and hydrogenated oils is one step toward cleaning up your diet and a good first step.  Then next step is to focus on eating whole foods.   What does that even mean?    First off, whole food is not synonymous with organic.  Organic refers to how the food is produced such as the agricultural methods.  This is things like no pesticides, no hormone injections or not genetically modified organisms, etc.   Whole foods are simply food in a form as close to nature as possible with minimal processing.   Whole food is also not synonymous with raw.  Cooking is a process.  But there are some foods whose nutrients are better absorbed after they have been cooked.  Some examples of this are carrots and asparagus.  The beta-carotene in both vegetables is better absorbed after cooking slightly.     In this episode, I give you some examples of a whole food lunch that you can prepare ahead of time and does not require refrigeration.   HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/49   Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

The early signs of burnout look different for each person.  Here are some common signs you may see. 1. Feeling apathetic.  You may think what’s the point?     2. You may not feel as clear in your thinking.  You don’t process things as fast.  You may have word-finding difficulty.  Or you may feel like your thoughts are all over the place.  Sometimes I will see people in my office who have this problem.  They are stressed to the hilt and say they can’t focus.  They tried someone’s Adderall and because it helped them dial back in, they think they have ADD.   If you are stressed you will not be able to focus similar to ADD.  But if you take stimulants because you are overloaded and are having trouble staying on task, the stimulants will help you line up your thought better in the short term, but you will burn out in the long term.  It takes a lot more to recover from full blown burnout than pre-burnout.  So the moral here is if you are in your 30’s and have a high pressure job and are having trouble focusing, first look at what you can pull back from before assuming you have a new case of ADD at 30.   3. You can’t muster the enthusiasm for things you used to get excited about.  Your favorite word may be “whatever”     4. You have a low threshold for feeling negative about things.  This was what I was talking about with my rant inside my head about how men don’t have to do anything.  Women do it all so why expect me to work on some project.   5. You soothe yourself with unhealthy habits like drinking, over eating or in my case gorging on sweets.  Maybe you stop exercising because you just don’t seem to have the energy to do it.  This is the opposite side of the unhealthy coin.  Instead of overconsumption of something bad in response to stress, you under consume something good.   What to do Of course there are other signs that you may be getting close to burn out, but these are just a few to look out for.  Then think about what may have been the tipping point for you. If they are temporary things that all happened at the same time, then you may be in the clear once those things are gone.    But it’s still worth evaluating how saturated you keep your life.  If you are always at near capacity then it won’t take much to push you over the edge. Is there anything you can trim back on now?  Maybe there are some things you to drop or some request you need to decline.     After streamlining your activity level, do more things to soothe your mind and nurture your body. This means carving out time to totally unwind with the following activities: Meditating Binge watching Netflix Reading Listening to music with essential oils Whatever gives you pleasure     Binaural Beats are an excellent way to relax on demand.  Binauaral beats is an example of music therapy.  The music is heard at different frequencies in each ear.  However, your brain needs to process the music as one frequency.  In your head you hear the difference between the two frequencies.  This new frequency or “beat” corresponds to brain waves you have when you are in a relaxed state. If I’m really stressed, I’ll put on headphones and listen to the music to help me relax.  You have to wear head phones to get the full benefit of the binaural beats.     There are lots of tweaks you can make to help you relax.  But we can’t forget that food is medicine.  Medical science is moving in a direction of focusing on food as a treatment for mental and physical disorders.  If we look at essential oils, acupuncture, yoga, meditation etc. as spokes of a wheel.  Food is the center of the wheel.  There will be more on this topic in future podcasts.  Stay tuned.     HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/48   Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

In this episode I talk about the psychological defense mechanism of projection.  This is where you assign your own feelings (usually negative) to someone else.  For example, you may think you’re inadequate, but you say your coworker thinks you’re inadequate.  This type of mind reading is a red flag that you need to affirm yourself.   If you can affirm yourself, you won’t be so dependent on others for validation.   Also it helps to recognize your emotions in order to know how to respond to people appropriately.  I have an emotions chart that you can download in the show notes at http://beyondburnout.com/47     HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/47   Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com

It’s easy to assume that if you’re overweight, you’re unfit and if you have a healthy body weight or normal Body Mass Index (BMI), you must be fit. This is not always the case because you can be at your ideal body weight and still be unfit.   Here are a few fitness level indicators: Easily winded or out of breath when exerting yourself You get injured very easily when participating in physical activity You get achy muscles even after a very small amount of physical activity You get stiff joints (a sign that you’re sitting too much) You are weak and can’t carry heavy objects   Note:  you don’t have to have all five symptoms to be considered unfit, but it’s likely if you don’t engage in vigorous exercise for at least 30 minutes, five days a week, you probably are unfit.   HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/46   Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com    

Adrenal fatigue is not a recognized entity in the medical community.  There is a medically recognized similar entity called adrenal insufficiency, which has more severe symptoms.  My take is that adrenal fatigue is another way of describing burnout, which has similar symptoms.   Burnout comes after prolonged stress and overwork, but has the additional emotional component of feeling unfulfilled and unhappy.   What else could be causing your fatigue? 1. Anemia This is when you don’t have enough red blood cells to carry oxygen.  The world health organization estimates that 30% of non-pregnant women are anemic.   That’s a lot of women.  The most common cause is iron deficiency.  Iron is a building block of red blood cells.  If you don’t have enough of it, your red blood cell count will be low.   So this can happen from a diet that is low in iron, but women are especially susceptible to this if you have heavy menstrual periods.   If you have this problem, your doctor may suggest iron supplements.  The problem with iron supplements is they can cause a lot of stomach upset and even constipation.   Fortunately are there iron-rich foods you can eat that can help without the side effects.     2. Thyroid insufficiency I’ve seen difference prevalence rates for hypothyroidism, ranging anywhere from a few percent to 18%.  We do know that it’s more common in women.  If you have an underactive thyroid, you can get low energy, foggy thinking, weight gain and even depression.  You should have your thyroid checked when you have a standard physical exam, and repeated if you have symptoms that are suggestive of an underactive thyroid.   The treatment for underactive thyroid is thyroid replacement like synthroid or armour thyroid.  Synthroid is the synthetically made hormone, levothyroxine.  Armour thyroid is thyroid hormone extracted from a pig thyroid.  There are other brands of the animal thyroid replacement.  One of the main disadvantages of them is that you may not always get consistent dosing.  They are measured in grains and sometimes the grains may vary in how much thyroid hormone they contain.  This means your thyroid hormone levels can fluctuate from month to month as you get different batches.   3. Vitamin D deficiency Vitamin D deficiency is also a cause of fatigue.  Vitamin D is a hormone that is produced in your skin when you are exposed to the sun.  Things that block this process are darker skin color, clothing, sun screen and decreasing your exposure to the sun.  We tend to get less sun exposure especially as you get older.  We don’t go out for recess and spend more time inside.   Checking your vitamin D is an easy blood test, you may need to ask your doctor to add it on as he or she may not routinely check vitamin D as part of a standard work up.  Vitamin D supplementation is over the counter.  It’s good to know your Vitamin D level, but even if you don’t know it, supplementing with 1000 IU each day is a good start for maintaining normal levels.       HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/45   Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com

Detox is one of those terms that is used very broadly.  In this podcast I talked about 3 ways people use the term detox.  It’s used to remove poisons from the body, a medical detox to wean off addictive substances and then diets or processes that are marketed to clean your body.   Be wary of detox diets that claim to cleanse your body and detox your liver.  Your liver and kidneys do a fine job of removing toxins every single day.   Instead think of detox as cleaning up your diet and ridding your body of unhealthy foods.  You can also clean up your gut by increasing the amount of good bacteria that live there.     Eat prebiotics These are foods that have indigestible substances like fiber.   Consume probiotics   These are foods that put good bacteria into your gut.     A healthy gut is a healthy body.  But you won’t have a healthy gut if you have an unhealthy diet. Start with eliminating sugar and processed food.   HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/44   Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

Want to decrease the impact of the daily grind?  These are my five small changes that can make a big impact for you.  Have green tea in the morning instead of coffee. Get a new pillow Wake up 10 minutes earlier Stretch in the morning Have a healthy shake for breakfast   Also in the episode, I update you on my Blue Apron experiment.   HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/43   Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

There are 3 main sleep problems you can encounter with your child: Nightmares, Night or Sleep Terrors and Sleep walking. Nightmares occur in the later part of sleep an hour or two before your child wakes up.  Any child can have nightmares and if your child awakes from a nightmare, you can console her and she will respond to you. Night terrors occur during deep sleep and your child is not aware of his surrounding and will not respond to you.  When this happens do not try and wake your child, but instead just ride it out. They are not associated with a mental disorder and are harmless unless your child hurts himself while he is moving about. Sleepwalking also occurs during deep sleep.  The difference here is that your child is not terrified and he can participate in complex movements like dressing him self.  These are also generally harmless unless your child interacts with something hazardous in his environment.  If he does this regularly, you can try scheduled awakenings to break the pattern. HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/42   Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

As a mom it’s not easy to see your child grow from that baby at your breast to a maturing adult.  Not only are they so cute when they are little, they need you for everything.     While it can be a relief to get to the point where your child is less dependent on you, it’s not always easy to watch them distance themselves from you.  You will always be mom, but your role in their lives adjusts over time.   In this episode, I discuss 5 early signs that your child is on the road to independence and it’s time for you to adjust. 1. They start sharing more things with their friends than with you. 2. Not wanting a lot of parental endearment   3. Wanting more alone time.   4. Family time has to include a significant other 5.  They want you to solve their problems without your interference   HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/41 Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

Organic food can mean a number of things and it can feel confusing when trying to make the best decision for your family, when going through the grocery aisles! Let me share with you what Organic means, the different categories, and how it affects your food so you can make the best decision for you and your family.  When it comes to food, Organic refers to a way of farming where produce is grown without the use of pesticides, synthetic fertilizers, sewage sludge, genetically modified organisms, or ionizing radiation. With livestock, the animals producing meat, poultry, eggs, and dairy products do not take antibiotics or growth hormones. Now I’m sure organic farmers have found ways to grow crops with some sort of natural pest control so they can mass produce.  But going these extra steps costs more money.  This is why organic goods are more expensive.   The following 4 categories, for organic labeling, have been established by the USDA.  100% Organic. All ingredients are certified organic; label has to include the Certifying Agent. These products can use the USDA seal. Organic. At least 95% or more ingredients are certified organic. USDA Organic seal is used. Made With Organic Ingredients. Food items contain at least 70% certified organic ingredients. USDA organic seal NOT allowed, and the label must identify organic ingredients used.  Specific Organic Ingredients.  Product has less than 70% certified organic ingredients. USDA seal NOT allowed. Item cannot be listed as organic; may only list specific and percentage of organic ingredients.    Organic disqualification also includes the use of Irradiation OR Genetically Modified Organisms. In this episode I talk about the EWG’s list of Dirty Dozen and Clean 15 foods and how you can use these lists to decide what you want to buy organic. HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/40 Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com    

When you are under stress, your body knows it.  You may realize you are stressed if you have the typical signs like headaches or feeling on edge.  But in this episode, I discuss 7 not so typical signs of stress.   These not-so-obvious signs are: Teeth grinding,  Poor digestion,  Muscle aches,  Hair graying,  Weight gain,  Frequent colds and  No or low sex drive.     If you have some of these, you need work on how you manage your stress.  Getting 7-9 hours of sleep a night is the first priority.  Then other things like mindfulness meditation and exercise can be secondary things to do.  Go back and listen to some of my older episodes on relaxing your mind and practicing mindfulness.  Of course diet is super important too but I’ll leave that for another time.     HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/39   Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

Show BB038 Quick Guide There is a natural emotional separation that you must have with your children that’s a part of normal healthy development.  We you send your children off to school and you go to work, it’s easy to feel as though you’re not participating enough in school activities or you’re missing out on key moments.  This feeling is worsened if you child tells you he or she wishes you didn’t have to work so you could be around more. But the reality is, when you child is young and depending on their temperament, you can never give them enough time.  If they enjoy being around you, they will always want to be around you in a way that’s not realistic or practical.  I mentioned my son would opt to have us stitched together if he could.  That can’t and shouldn’t happen. This degree of emotional dependence is more applicable to younger kids in elementary school.  Once they get to the tween and teens, they are happy to have you stay away.  So this is a struggle for moms with younger kids.  But know that the remedy is to give them your all when you’re with them and let go of the idea that you need to be doing more.  Because you’ll never reach the threshold of enough.  You can also see yourself as falling short.   Having a career that you enjoy when your child goes off to college helps you when they leave the home.  You’ll miss them terribly, but being able to continue working and thriving in your job (if in fact you are thriving) helps offset the sense of loss you feel when your child or children leave your home. Being a mom is tough.  But keep being mom. It’s your nature to love and nurture.  And that nurturing is what makes the world go around.  Everyone needs you. Sometimes all those needs can feel overwhelming.  But meeting those needs, plants the seeds for a lifetime of love and intimacy with your family.   Think about that as you are honored on this Mother’s day.  Sunday we celebrate moms.  But you are so important that everyday is mother’s day. So remember, when you feel worn down from all of your responsibilities, know that everything you do for your family has irreplaceable value. Happy mother’s day to you today and everyday.   HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/38   Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

Being gluten free is trendy now and it’s easier than ever to find items that are gluten free.  Not everyone needs to be gluten free.  However, there is a clinical entity called non-celiac gluten sensitivity.  If you have this, you don’t have the classic Celiac disease, but may have other problems caused by your sensitivity to gluten.   If you have headaches, joint pains, digestive problems, excessive fatigue or other physical problems that your doctors can’t seem to get a handle on, you may want to get tested for gluten sensitivity.  If you are gluten sensitive, you can then make an educated decision as to whether or not you want to eliminate gluten from your diet to minimize any damage it is causing you.   But here’s the catch – to get the maximum benefit, you need to eliminate all sources of gluten and not rely on substituting with gluten-free products. In other words, it doesn’t help to dabble with gluten reduction, you need to be all in.  For everyone else who is not gluten sensitive, reducing your gluten by eating less grains may make you feel better and lose weight, but don’t be fooled into thinking it’s because you are on a gluten free diet.  Chances are unless you are super-vigilant about checking all sources of gluten, your health benefit from reducing breads probably has nothing to do with gluten.   HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/36 Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com    

Show BB036 Quick Guide You don’t have to have a diagnosis of ADD to get distracted and have trouble staying on task.   This episode is a response to a listener question about how to manage her ADD without medication.   There are many people who have a limited attention span but they get by. But with increasing age, not getting enough sleep or simply having too many things to do, you can lose your ability to compensate have trouble staying focused.     Here are my 5 tips on how to be more efficient and focused. Batch your time Eliminate the distractions that you can control,  Understand what helps you focus and utilize that Think ahead about how long things will take and build in some cushion time.  Don’t multitask.  

Video games may be more helpful than you think.  You do need to set limits on how much time your child spends, have a budget and parental controls.  All good things need moderation.   In this podcast I talk about the benefits of gaming such as:  Enhanced problem solving skills Improved fine motor movement Process aggression Promote social interaction   As a working mom, you may want to join your child in the games if you don’t already for you own benefits of improving your dexterity so you can chop veggies better, sublimate your anger or frustrations of life and spend some more time with your child doing what she does.  You can do this without feeling like you’re being a bad mom or you condoning something that is bad for your child because it really does have some benefits.   HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend.   Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/35  

Today I give you some thoughts on 4 topics.  This show is "unplugged" because iin my haste to prepare for vacation, I was unable to do my usual preparation of a deep dive into a single topic.  Alternatively, I've giving you a few medical news items and an experiment I'm working on.   Belsomra – the new sleeping pill.  This has a lot of promise for being a medication that doesn’t cause dependence   Binge Eating Disorder – I think more people have this than you think.  This is a new diagnosis that does not involve purging like in bulimia, but involves uncontrolled eating of lots of food.  The good news is, there is a new treatment for it using Vyvanse.  Vyvanse is used to treat ADHD, but now treats this binge eating disorder.   Blue Apron – I’m experimenting with this service to take some of the stress out of dinner preparation.  I’m new to the service and still need to give it more time, but so far so good.   Sworkit – this is an app that you can use to get high intensity workouts at home as if you had a personal trainer.   HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/34     Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

Show BB033 Quick Guide If you already use essential oils but don’t really understand how they work, then this episode will help you understand why they work.   Let’s start with explaining essential oils.  Essential oils are extracted from plants.  Depending on the plant they may use the flowers, leaves, bark or roots.     Lavender is the most common essential oil used in the medical research.  Here are several other relaxing oils. Frankincense Rose Sandalwood Chamomile Vanilla Citrus oils such as lemon and orange   I discuss how you can inhale these oils and how you can apply them to your skin with a carrier oil.   HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/33   Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com

What in the world are superfoods?  These foods are called superfoods because you get a lot of bang for your buck.  They are low in calories, but are packed with nutrients.  This would be in contrast to foods with empty calories.  I’m sure you’ve heard that term before.  This would be food like potato chips or even sodas.  These food items are high in calories but low in nutrients. Here is my list of top 10 superfoods Apples Blueberries Beets Avocados Kale Kiwi Fruit Lentils Sweet Potatoes Walnuts Wild Salmon There are also some superfoods that are less common.  These would be great to add to your diet. Chia Seeds Hemp seeds Cacoa nibs or powder Maca root Maqui powder Goji berries.   HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend.   Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/32 Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

Show BB027 Quick Guide There is absolutely nothing that compares to the loss of sleep that comes from having children.  But even after your babies are sleeping through the night, it is still easy to let bad habits or being busy keep you from sleeping well.     This podcast is about self-inflicted poor sleep because of bad habits.  What you do to promote good sleep is called sleep hygeine.  Just like you need good oral hygeine, you need good sleep hygeine.   I believe the preparation for bedtime starts early in the day.  I’m sure you have heard may tips on what you should do and not do before bedtime.  If give you tips for how you should prepare for bed organized by time of day.   HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/31 Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com    

Show BB027 Quick Guide What are the things that provoke you to yell?  I’ll start with admitting what it is for me.  Having to say the same thing over and over.  By the time I get to the 4th time, I’m frustrated and lose my cool. Unfortunately, the more you yell, the more you train your children to only respond to yelling.  Also, yelling at children affects their self-esteem and makes them angry.   In this episode I have my first interview guest who is an expert at being yelled at.  I also give you 5 tips to help you stop yelling at your kids.   HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend.   Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/30  

Show BB029 Quick Guide In this episode I talk about the telltale signs that you’re in a toxic relationship and what to do about it.  This is not just your relationship with your spouse, but applied to anyone who takes up emotional space in your life.  This could be a girlfriend, sister or your mother.   Having close, intimate relationships is complicated. And our early relationships with our caregivers often shape who we are attracted to and what type of person we find comfortable to be around. If you don’t get it right, you can end up in relationships that drain the life out of you.     In this episode I give you 11 red flags to look for to identify those toxic signs in the other person.  I also give you four steps to detox the relationship.  

Show BB028 Quick Guide   Sugar is everywhere.  It’s present is almost all the processed foods we eat.  This contributes to the overconsumption of sugar AND a “sweet tooth” that you may not know you have.  In this episode, I talk about how you can wean yourself off sugar.  Be wary of using sugar substitutes like Agave and Stevia.  Sugar is sugar.   I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/28   Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com

Being a mom and being sexy are not mutually exclusive.  Becoming a mother should be an enhancement of who you are and should not transform you to someone you find boring and frumpy.    It's easy to feel unsexy with all the changes to your body.     In this episode I give you 7 tips to get your sexy back.  I also talk about sensitive topics like anal incontinence and what to do about it.   HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/27     Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

Show Notes Show BB026 Quick Guide Do you have a healthy relationship with food? It’s probably safe to say that we mostly eat for emotional reasons and not for hunger.  Eating is a large part of our socialization.  You go to a fine restaurant for the “experience” and not simply because your stomach is rumbling. Like many people you probably associate emotional eating with binging on a tub of ice cream after having a bad day.  But there are more subtle ways emotion can drive you to overeat.   In this episode I give you signs of emotional eating how to break the cycle. HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/26 Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

Show Notes Show BB025 Quick Guide Juicing and smoothies are a current trend that is popular in the health and wellness population, as many people want to live a healthier life and manage a healthy weight for themselves and/or children.  Juicing and smoothies have definite benefits, but there are drawbacks as well.   In this episode I talk about the pros and the cons of juicing and smoothies. HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/25 Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com

Show Notes Show BB024 Quick Guide The better command you have over the people you communicate with, the easier it is for you to function with the least amount of friction.  Think about it.  Friction in your life causes stress.  The easier things are for you, the better things are for you.  It’s about easy.  Make things easier, life is better.   In this show I talk about charisma and body language as two approaches to become an influencer of others. HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/24   Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

Show Notes Show BB023 Quick Guide Supplements should never be a substitute for a balanced diet.  However, even if you put your best foot forward with regards to your eating habits, there are still a few nutritional elements that tend to run low in your system.   Supplements are not cheap and you may be taking more than you need.  Vitamin D and Omega fatty acids are supplements that most people should consider adding to their diet.   There are some that are helpful for certain situations like potassium, CoQ10, iron, probiotics and folic acid.  Listen to the podcast for details about when to take these supplements.   HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/23   Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

We are all vulnerable to setbacks, disappointments and hurts.  That’s part of the uncertainty of life.  How you respond to these setbacks determine how satisfied you are with your life. You can’t control your circumstances, but you can control your response to them. In the hustle and bustle of life it’s easy to let setbacks pile up to the point where they leave you feeling beaten and broken.  Instead of standing back up when you are knocked down, you remain lying down wallowing in your defeat.   Identify one way you may be wallowing in victim mode.  Do you host many pity parties? Do you have a “why bother?” mindset because you’ve failed at something too many times?  Are others always having to give you a pep talk? Next, choose one of the six solutions that apply to your situation and implement it.

Show BB021 Quick Guide Limiting beliefs are convictions you have about something that guide your decisions, life choices or even your level of success in a certain area.  Limiting beliefs are built into your hard drive such that they are part of your unconscious mind.   Listen to hear how you can discover your limiting beliefs by asking a series of questions and how you can overcome them.   HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/21   Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com    

Show BB020 Quick Guide Mindfulness is about fully living and engaging in the present, versus allowing your mind to drift off to other things. The goal is to limit your attention only to your immediate environment.   In this episode I discuss different ways you can practice mindfulness and give you 4 steps to get started. This is day one of my 30-Day Pinterest Challenge - Thrive In Your Mind, Body and Spirit.  Sign up to get the action guides and downloads.  http://beyondburnout.com/thrive  HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/20     Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

Show BB019 Quick Guide If on most Monday mornings you'd like to jump into a time machine and press rewind, you're not alone.  For many the work-week-dread kicks in Sunday afternoon as you start anticipating another five days at the office. In this episode I give you 7 tips to help beat the Monday morning blues. 1. Get out of the "living for the weekend" mindset. 2. Find ways to make your workdays less crowded.  3. Give yourself a mid-week break.  4. Take small breaks daily.  5. Allow for enough time on weekends to relax.  6. Don't stay up late on the weekends.  7. Determine whether you really like your job.  Since we spend so much of our days working, we need to make everyday count and not just live for the weekends. Join my 30-day Pinterest Challenge. Thirty days of pins.  Thirty days of tips to help your Thrive in Your Mind, Body & Spirit.  http://beyondburnout.com/thrive HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/19     Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

Show BB018 Quick Guide The holidays are supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year.  This means you are not allowed to be anything other than merry and bright.  But for many people the holiday are very difficult. Everyone else’s cheer just magnifies your pain.   HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/18   Want some help being all that you can be in 2015?  Join my 30-day Pinterest Challenge.  Lot's of great information and freebies too! Click to find out more http://beyondburnout.com/thrive   Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

BB017 Quick Show Guide Sometimes it’s tough to accept the limitations of balancing career and family.  The temptation is to think it is possible to have everything you want in both places.  You can still do well in your career and be accomplished.  But the reality is, the time you invest in your family will mean less time you can invest in your career growth. But the investment in family relationships is the investment that pays more dividends in the long run. This episode is based on a listener question.  Listen to hear her dilemma with her work and family responsibilities and how she has struggled with the issue of “can’t I have it all?” HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/17 Want some help being all that you can be in 2015?  Join my 30-day Pinterest Challenge.  Lot's of great information and freebies too! Click to find out more http://beyondburnout.com/thrive Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

Show BB016 Quick Guide It's so easy to get carried away during the holiday season! The excitement of the season makes carefree living seems like the only way to go during the holiday.    As fun as the season is, however, it’s important to keep an eye on your budget during Christmastime so you're not faced with a financial crisis later on.  It’s not pleasant getting that huge credit card bill in January.  You already have the post-holiday slump.  Plus it’s cold at least in most places in the US. Then you get the bill.  Not pleasant.    But it’s hard to resist the urge to spend frivolously in the name of gifts and having a jolly good time? In this podcast I give you 4 tips for paring back over the holidays. HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/16 Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com    

Show BB015 Quick Guide For some, November and December are exciting months full of anticipation. For others, they're a time of sadness and dread. Regardless of what the holidays mean to you, one thing doesn't change: they're a time for over-indulgence and high expectations. Our schedules during this time become crowded with mandatory office parties, school shows, friends and family gatherings. We're saturated with decorations, special music and lots of food. But when January hits us, the reality of life becomes sobering. In this podcast I give you 4 tips for paring back over the holidays. HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend.   Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/15   Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

Show BB013 Quick Guide The holidays are a time of hustle and bustle and Thanksgiving in particular is associated with lots of food and time off from work.  That’s the commercial aspect of it, but it’s really of time of being thankful. Gratitude is powerful in it’s ability to calm you and brighten your perspective on life.  In this podcast I talk about the benefits of gratitude and how to get it. I also give you 25 things you can be thankful for to help you develop a grateful spirit.   HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend.   Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/14   Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

Show BB013 Quick Guide AS a working mom, it’s easy to feel torn between your obligations at work and home.  If you have a career that you enjoy, you can also feel guilty for enjoying yourself when you are away from home and away from the kids.  Is this wrong?  It can feel wrong.  But it’s all about perspective.  Here are 5 ways to view the situation differently to help you get past the guilt.  Get in your head that your child needs you more than your time.  Don’t mistake enjoying your work for not missing or wanting to be with your children   Get good at compartmentalizing you roles   Accept that every brain needs some down time   Don’t see your decision to work outside of the home as a reflection of your commitment to your children.   HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend.   Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/13     Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

What you eat makes a huge difference in how you feel and how your body behaves.  The long-term effects of poor diet show up in weight gain and diseases like diabetes, heart disease and stroke.  But the short-term effects show up in energy level, stamina and mental functioning like clarity and mood.   In this podcast I will talk about: The dangers of hydrogenated oils The dangers overheating oil What oils are better for cooking and consuming? I distilled this episode down to two tips to start on the path toward cleaning up your diet.   HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend.   Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/12     Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com

Show BB011 Quick Guide This is a fun episode designed to give you several ideas on great ways to spend time as a family.  You’re bound to hear something you haven’t heard before and that your family will love.   HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend.   Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/11     Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

Show BB010 Quick Guide Fish oil is gaining popularity as a supplement.  You probably have heard a lot about taking it, but why do you need it?   This podcast answers this questions as well as other such as: Why is flaxseed not the best source of it? Why should you avoid using cod liver oil? What should you look for in choosing the right brand?   HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend.   Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/10     Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

Show BB009 Quick Guide This episode is based on a listener question about a 15 year old girl who is withdrawing from her parents.  Her father is concerned that she no longer wants to spend much time with them.  He also wants to know when he should be concerned that she has a more serious problem.   Normal Adolescent Development It is a normal part of development for adolescents to distance themselves from their parents as part of a process of separation and individuation.  At this time your child needs to establish his own identity and decrease his dependence on you for his self-esteem and standards of conduct.  Up until know, children learn by watching and imitating.  But at this stage it’s about doing what I want to do and not just do what my parents do.  So internally they question the things they have learned and make an active decision to internalize it or not.   Teenage Depression A depressed teen may look different from a depressed adult.  They may sleep for longer periods, engage in cutting behaviors, get into legal trouble or experiment with drugs.  You may also see a sudden drop in grades.   They may have other physical things like headaches, changes in weight (girls especially may stop eating).  You may notice that your teen is preoccupied with death. If you have noticed any of these signs in your teen in addition to them withdrawing from you, have them seen by their pediatrician for an evaluation.     HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/9 Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com    

Show BB008 Quick Guide Waving your kids off to college is undoubtedly a bittersweet moment. You're proud that your children are on their way to adulthood. Nevertheless, you're saddened by the fact that they'll soon be off in a dorm room with strangers rather than home in their beds.   Even though the moment isn't here yet and you're trying to soak up every second available with your children, it's important to plan for what is to come rather than simply ignoring it. Your kids will be in college soon. Therefore, now is the time to develop a plan to help you cope with the sadness of the separation.   Here are three techniques to help you prepare for the empty nest: 1. Look forward to enjoying your newfound freedom. While your kids are enjoying their freedom away at college, you too can rejoice in your newfound freedom away from the kids and their limiting schedules.    2. Reconnect with your spouse. After raising the children for so many years, living alone with your spouse is something that may feel new to you again. Now is the moment to feel like newlyweds! Reconnect with one another on a deeper level than you have in the last twenty years or so.    3. Plan a home improvement project. You’re going to have extra room now.  What are you going to do with it? What you do with the room dictates how the  family handles the transition.     HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend.   Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/8     Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com  

Show BB007 Quick Guide In the life of a busy mom it’s very easy for your relationship with your husband to become very lackluster because of the years of putting so much focus on the family logistics.  How do you get that excitement back when you’re still busy?   The answer is to make small changes in how you show love that make big differences in how you and your spouse feel about each other.  These tips are based on a book by Gary Chapman called The 5 Love Languages.   He proposes that there are five ways in which people feel love: Words of Affirmation  Acts of Service Receiving gifts Quality Time Physical touch We all have a tendency to show our spouse love the way we need to be loved.  Many times, this is not the way he needs to be loved and vice versa.  If you can correctly identify each other’s love languages, you can better meet each other’s needs and bring back that spark to keep the excitement flowing.   Listen to the podcast for an explanation of the love languages and how you can get your needs met while also meeting your husband’s needs.   HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend.   Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/7   Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com    

Show notes  http://beyondburnout.com/6 Want me to answer a question?  Call the show at 404-465-2399 or email me at drmarks@beyondburnout.com Show BB006 Quick Guide How often should you see your primary care doctor and what should he/she be doing with you? When should you start getting screened for breast and cervical cancer? What makes you at higher risk for colon cancer? When should you get your first colonoscopy? What are the substitute tests for a colonoscopy? How often should you get your skin examined? How often should you see your dentist?   I answer all of these questions for you.  I also have a handy guide that you can download in the show notes.  HELP ME SPREAD THE WORD! I would love it if you shared Beyond Burnout Podcast with your fellow working moms on twitter.  Click here to tweet some love!  Also pass this on to a friend. If you don’t already have it, get your copy of my Busy Working Mom’s Organization Guide.

This episode discussed the common problem of having a busy mind that keeps you stressed.   Dr. Marks teaches you three strategies: 1. Use a Problem Solving worksheet 2. Slow your breathing 3. Listen to binaural beats music   Dr. Marks also answers a listener question about who should and should not take medication for ADHD.   Go to the show notes at http://beyondburnout.com/5 for a free copy of a problem solving worksheet to get started.

There is a popular Dolly Parton song from the '80s called "Working 9 to 5." At the time the concept of working 9 to 5 seemed standard. Today, you may not be able to keep your job if you expect to only work 9 to 5.  With the Internet, smart phones and tablets, you can work from anywhere at any time. Even if you are not working, you can take in new information, read articles, etc., in the 30 seconds you are stopped at a traffic light. Even though surfing the Internet and keeping up with friends on facebook may be fun, it does have the net effect of producing too much mental stimulation, which can wreak havoc on your body.  Let's look at Lisa. Lisa is a 38-year-old project manager who is on target to become a director at her company. She loves her work, but complains about having trouble keeping up with her responsibilities since the recent reorganization that left her team one person short. She has trouble completing tasks and usually needs to bring work home in the evening. In response to her complaint of "not getting things done," her doctor prescribed the stimulant Adderall because Lisa said she has always had trouble staying focused. Lisa also has some marital problems. Her husband complains that she's always distracted and never wants to spend time with him. Lisa says all the stress of work and home causes her to have panic attacks. So she goes back to see her doctor and tells him she having lots of anxiety and she gets Xanax.   Xanax is a benzodiazepine that is used to treat anxiety.  People will use it a lot because it relieves anxiety immediately as opposed to seeing results after a few weeks like you would with an antidepressant.  Antidepressants are the treatment for anxiety disorders even if you are not depressed.  They are designed to be the long term solution that you would take everyday for a year or more.  The benzodiazepine is supposed to be a temporary solution to use while we wait for the antidepressant to kick in. So back to Lisa Lisa's company has a few large product launches each year and during this time, she stays up until midnight or later to finish her work and respond to emails from overseas.  After a few years of this pattern, she now has trouble falling and staying asleep on most nights, even when she really tries to go to sleep early.  So she calls her doctor who recognizes the importance of good sleep and she gets Ambien.  Ambien is a common sleeping medication, in fact it’s probably the most popular sleep aid because it works well for most people.  It works fast to help you fall asleep quickly and it usually doesn’t result in the daytime hangover effect.  Despite all these positive aspects of it, no sleeping pill is perfect and they all can stop working at any point.  Some people can take them for months with good effect and for some people it’s over after night 2.  Now Initially Lisa was pleased with how much better she was able to keep up with things, until she starting becoming more irritable, forgetful and unmotivated to do her work.  Lisa then wondered if she should be put on an antidepressant and sought a second opinion about this. I was that second opinion.  When I asked Lisa about how she was doing at work, she said that even though the Adderall helps her, she still finds that her attention starts to drop off around 10 p.m., making the rest of her evening unproductive. This is a classic scenario I've seen with hard-working, ambitious people who have unrealistic expectations about how long a person should be able to sustain attention. If you start working at 9 a.m., your attention should drop off 11 hours later. Unfortunately, instead of living within her body's physical and mental limitations, Lisa was using medications to push herself harder. And this is exactly how you can burnout your motor.  In her case, her cocktail of Adderal, Xanax and Ambien was serving the purpose of performance-enhancing drugs. When you push yourself past your normal limits.  You burn out your motor. Lisa could keep up this pace in her 20s. After all, it's not uncommon for the college student to go to class all day, study until late in the night and pull all-nighters with no obvious mental or physical problem.   But nearing 40, Lisa just couldn’t keep up.  None of us can. Her medications carried her for a while, but eventually her body and mind stopped going along with that set up. As it turns out, Lisa did not need stimulants to be more productive; she needed downtime to recharge her mind. This was counter-intuitive because on the surface it seemed that taking breaks from work would only slow her down. A study from University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign showed that taking mental breaks from intense work increases performance and helps your focus.   These breaks don't have to be very long. You could start with two five- to 10-minute periods during your workday where you do something non-work-related, such as listen to a music track or just reflect on your last vacation.   Here are some other suggestions to help you decompress your mind. Stop cell phone use while waiting in traffic or standing in line. Use that "forced" downtime to be present in the moment. Reflect on your environment; focus on something pleasant around you like the phenomenal painting on the wall, or the smell of someone's perfume. I was in a building in downtown Atlanta and got into the elevator.  The building probably had 20 + stories so it was one of those where they split it into sections.  I was surprised to a television in the elevator.  I thought, have we gotten to this point where we can’t go 5 minutes on an elevator without being entertained and mentally stimulated? I think this is just the product of being in this digital age where we don’t have to spend anytime thinking about nothing.  If you have a free 30 seconds, you check your email or send a tweet.  A negative outcome of this lifestyle is trouble focusing, poor sleep and anxiety.  The answer may not be that you have ADD or an anxiety disorder.  You just may be overstimulated.  When was the last time you sat for 10 minutes and did nothing?  How hard would that be for you?  Would you be stressing out about all the stuff you’re not getting done?  I challenge you to try this this week.  Take a 10 minute noodle brain break.  This is not a time to do some problem solving in your head or add something to your to do list.  Forget about all of your obligations and just sit.  Set the timer on for phone so you don’t have to watch the clock. If you just can’t sit peacefully, listen to some music.  It’s easy to listen music on autopilot and still go through your to do list.  In this case really listen to the musical notes.  If it has words, listen to the words.  Pay attention to what the song is saying.  See if this helps you decompress and de-stress.  Do it at least once in the day, but I would suggest twice over the course of the day.  This process of decompressing may require you to eliminate some activities from your schedule so you don't overload yourself. It is very easy to pack too much into a day by seeing 20-minute snatches of time as opportunities to "get some things done." If you decompress, you become more efficient and less anxious, and you sleep better. This isn’t the only solution.  Slowly integrating other healthy lifestyle choices such as exercise and good diet can help you rid yourself of the need for the high-performance cocktail.    

Anyone that has to deal with negative people on a regular basis knows just how challenging it can be. All the complaining and ‘doom and gloom’ talk can really sap your energy and patience. At the conclusion of a mere 15-minute conversation, it can feel like the life has been sucked right out of you. The good news is you can lessen the effects of their negativity by coming up with a plan to deal with this challenge. Try these strategies:  1.     Be objective. It’s important not to take the negative person’s comments personally. Recognize that they’re pessimistic most of the time and take an unhelpful perspective of most things. They can be so absorbed by their negative thoughts that they have a difficult time being tactful. ·      In reality, you might feel a little sorry for them. Aren’t you glad that you don’t carry the same negative attitude about life? It’s difficult to be upset with someone when you feel sorry for them. 2.     Keep the conversation light. It can be very helpful to steer the conversation to lighter topics, like the weather, movies, or sports to keep things from getting too intense. Some people simply enjoy feeling the emotional intensity that comes from being negative. 3.     Avoid rewarding negative talk. Sometimes we inadvertently encourage the negative person by being too supportive. ·      Instead, don’t engage fully in the conversation when someone is being overly negative. Instead, be enthusiastic and supportive when they’re being positive. Keep your responses and attention to a minimum when the negative talk is flying.  This is called positive reinforcement.  If the person wants to talk to you, she’ll learn that she won’t have much of a conversation with you if she’s complaining. 4.     Try not to be alone with them. You won’t feel the brunt of the abuse when there are others to share the grief. Plus, the negative talker will usually be less intense when he doesn’t have the undivided attention of a single person. ·      It’s also much easier to excuse yourself from the conversation because you don’t feel like such a critical part of the interaction. 5.     Be a positive influence. You might be able to help the person feel more optimistic by being a positive influence in their life. If you think they’re simply lonely, perhaps you could get a group together and all go out for dinner. Or maybe you could suggest a hobby. See if you can identify a specific cause for their negativity and then assist. 6.     Eliminate them from your life. Especially if you’re kind-hearted, you’ll most likely want to save this option as a last resort. Sometimes we have people in our lives that don’t have to be there, and it doesn’t make sense to maintain the relationship if that relationship only brings you negativity. Negative people are a fact of life and something that we all must deal with from time to time. These strategies will help you keep their negative effects on your life to a minimum.

Burnout can manifest physically and mentally Mental symptoms can manifest as the following: feeling uninspired in your work   irritability cynicism boredom losing focus easily overwhelmed like everything is hard Physical symptoms can be: utter exhaustion slogging through the day achy muscles heavy limbs People have researched burnout and published on it and one of the popular researchers is Dr. Christina Maslach.  She’s a sociology professor at University of California, Berkeley. She came up with a construct of 6 factors that contribute to workplace burnout. work overload lack of control of your work insufficient rewards workplace community problems lack of fairness (ex. Unequal pay/workload) conflict between personal values and job requirements   Dr. Maslach is particularly focused on workplace burnout which is a huge player in how people can get burned out.  But I’m proposing that as a working mom, even if you don’t have these these things going on in your workplace, you can still get burned out just from the overload of work and home responsibilities.  I think even if you love your job and things are going well, if you are spread too thin you can still manifest burnout or near burnout. Now you may notice that this can look very similar to depression. So how do you know the difference between depression and burnout?  It’s really a matter of severity and intensity.  Depression is a biological disorder where people can have changes in their mood like actually feeling depressed or irritable.  There are also other symptoms like not being able to concentrate or focus, sleeping too little or too much, changes in your appetite (eating too much or to little), no motivation to do things, unable to enjoy anything, feeling worthless and hopeless and you may even get to the point where you think a lot about death.  To meet the criteria for depression five or more of these types of symptoms.   Why five?  Because with depression it really is a constellation of many symptoms that affect your mood, thinking and body functions.  So if you have a day of feeling worthless, it doesn’t mean you’re depressed. Depression can come on with no trigger or it may happen after a major setback like a death in the family, losing your job or a relationship break up.  Also for it to be considered depression you must have all those symptoms for two weeks.  This is to differentiate from the occasional day or two of being in a funk.  The last part about diagnosing depression is that all these symptoms must cause some serious change in how you function.  This could look like being unable to get out of bed and go to work or isolating from friends and family.  I’ve seen a number of people who aren’t even bathing anymore.  So back to burnout.  It may be hard to tell the difference between being burned out and being depressed.  You can certainly be both.  But for someone who is burned out but not depressed, I would expect that person to still be slogging through their responsibilities but they’re just not happy inside and don’t feel fulfilled.  They may have to cynicism thing going on, but it’s not to point where it’s destroying relationships. Why does this matter?  Well if you’re burned out but you’re not depressed, antidepressants probably are not going to do much for you.  You may get some lift in your mood, but it’s not going to change your exasperation with your work situation and/or home life.  The solution to the burnout involves a lot more than taking a pill. So what do you do to keep from getting to this point?  Well there’s a lot of ways to prevent and manage this and I can’t cover all of them today, but let me give a two of strategies to prevent burnout.  The first and foremost is making sure you are getting 7-9 hours of sleep.  This has to be a priority.  I hear all the time – I don’t have time to sleep that long I still have work to do when I get home.  I’m telling you – if you do not get adequate sleep you will not function at your best.  So work that takes you one hour to do make two hours if you don’t’ get enough sleep.  And I know those late night hours where everybody else is asleep and it’s peaceful and quiet seems like the perfect time to get your work done. But the two hours that you spend in the wee hours of the night doing that work,  you could probably spend 30 minutes or an hour doing earlier in the morning after you’ve slept or even at work making your workday more productive.  It’s not always obvious than this could be the benefit and it’s one of those things you just have to trust the system and try it.  Are you someone who has trouble falling asleep? I often ask people what time do you go to bed and the answer I get is it depends. That’s the wrong answer just like poplars and kids need a routine we still need a routine as well.   So that means you need to set a consistent bedtime because your body operates on a clock and it very much wants to fall asleep around the same time every night.  Once you set your bedtime let’s just say it’s 10 o’clock you need to have a wind down period the hour before you go to bed. The second strategy to preventing or managing burnout is to take a 15-30 minute break in the middle of your work day or in the late afternoon.  This is the equivalent of giving yourself a reboot.  What should you do during this time?  You can meditate or even listen to peaceful music.  If you do it at lunch, you can eat lunch at the same time.  But it’s not a reboot if your checking emails.  That’s not mental downtime. So these are two thing you can try to get or keep yourself on track toward maximizing your internal resources so you can deal effectively with all your responsibilities.

As a working mom, we all have at least two jobs – the one you get paid money for and then your family  where it’s a different kind of payment.  With these two jobs it’s easy to overextend yourself and get burned out. Sometimes the answer is you need to cut back on some things.  But what if you can’t just quit your job or tell your boss you’re only going to work 8 hours?  What if you don’t have those options?  I strongly believe with careful attention to your physical and mental health, you work your two jobs with maximum efficiency and still feel good.  With this podcast, I plan to teach you how to care for yourself in way that you can operate at your best.  The way you think really impacts how you feel and act.  The mind is powerful and you can really think yourself into hole.  At the end of each episode, I plan to give your positive affirming thoughts that you can rely upon for the rest of your week.