Don't Tell My Therapist

What do a 25-hour speech, Buffalo Exchange, and a British cat have in common? Nothing. And yet, here we are. This week, Jenna investigates a senator's bathroom breaks, and the girls uncover shocking news: cats might have accents. Want more BS? Find us on Instagram @DontTellMyTherapistPod

Times are tough and concerts are expensive. The girls contemplate how they can make a quick buck as long as it doesn't involve giving birth or anything remotely difficult. Jenna finally gets her kitten, Sophia locks down a groomsman, and everyone is on the spectrum. Enjoy!Want more? Follow @DontTellMyTherapistPod on Instagram!

Happy New Year! This year, our resolution is to stay flawless because, honestly, why mess with perfection? In this session, the girls recap their Christmas adventures. Sophia tried to impress her Gen Z nieces and nephews, picking up some questionable new slang along the way. Meanwhile, Jenna took a trip to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory and had to be airlifted home. Want more BS? Follow @DontTellMyTherapistPod on Instagram

In Session 71, Jenna gains a stepdad, while Sophia trades in turkey for tears on Thanksgiving. The girls are joined by Syd—aka Party Diva, Muscle Mommy, and Sophia's roommate. From uncovering dirty videos of her ex to dancing backstage with a British DJ, Syd's life is a wild mix of chaos and main character energy. Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year! If you don't hate us and feel like spreading some Christmas cheer, leave us a review! ✨ 

This week, things get steamy and messy at an open mic erotica night, prompting Sophia to end her situationship. The girls take a brief history lesson and imagine what the world will be like in 2043. One thing's for certain: Thomas Edison never had to see Sophia's toenails, and for that, he should be grateful. Want more bullshit? Follow us on Instagram @DontTellMyTherapistPod

Back from two birthdays, a wedding, and an international trip, the girls are here to spill it all! In Mexico, Sophia goes loca while Jenna dodges death. Depending on who you ask, Sophia's birthday was either a great time or the destruction of all of Jenna's friendships. But don't worry—she made a killer comeback with a surprise party for Pitbull's 30th that earned her a reward straight from Mr. Worldwide himself.

It's almost Halloween, so naturally the girls are stress-crafting their costumes and stalking girls from Pinterest. This week, the girls rank men's hobbies and Jenna accidentally plots to humiliate Sophia.Join us for some more bullshit on @Don'tTellMyTherapistPod on Instagram

This week, Jenna and Sophia are all about treating themselves (but let's not talk about the price tag, okay?). Sophia uses girl math to justify her dream jacket purchase, while Jenna drives THREE hours for a Facebook Marketplace find. Did they *really* need these items? Absolutely not. Was it 100% worth it? You bet it was. If you don't hate us, rate us! And don't forget to follow @DontTellMyTherapistPod on Instagram.

This week, Sophia bows down to Queen Sabrina Carpenter, takes a $360 nap and (accidentally) tries to upstage a bride. Jenna spills on finally being her weird self in a relationship - armpit whispers and all. Oh, and if you're above the age of 10, Please, Please, Please don't kiss your mother on the mouth.  If you don't hate us, rate us! And don't forget to follow @DontTellMyTherapistPod on Instagram.

This week, the girls are battling moles, cuddling pigs, and researching dolphin arousal (yes, you read that right). Soph's cooking up a killer Halloween costume, totally *not* stalking her date online, and diving into the deep end on TikTok. Meanwhile, Jenna's stirring up drama in her happy relationship and hunting down her mole man. Sorry in advance for making you Google moles and dolphin d*cks. Want more BS? Follow @DontTellMyTherapistPod on Instagram ✨

Bless your heart and bless your fart. Jenna was down in the dumps this week, but with the help of prayer and the bathroom code at her local Panda Express, she found redemption. Sophia gets called out by an ex and tunes up her dating Dos & Don'ts.Looking for more BS? Follow us @DontTellMyTherapistPod

We're back! Sophia has been hiding out from the paparazzi ever since she went viral while Jenna is getting used to seeing “boy stuff” all over her house

This week, the girls cosplay as Avril Lavigne and heal their inner child at Avril's Greatest Hits Tour. Sophia has a bad first date and fights for survival after a night out in the Windy City. Jenna doesn't know the dates of historical events, but remembers all of her best friend's birthdays. Are Jenna and Sophia adults? Will Jenna donate her hair to the birds? Listen to Session 62 to find out! ✨ Want more BS? Of course you do. Follow @Don'tTell MyTherapistPod on Instagram ✨ 

Is it Session 61 or is that just Jenna's new age? This week, the girls are roller skating into an early retirement. Jenna is going gray, Sophia gets graphic while filming a live birth, and it's all downhill from here. Were you ugly as a kid like we were? If so, congrats on building some character early on!✨Want more BS? Of course you do. Follow @Don'tTell MyTherapistPod on Instagram✨

In Session 60, the girls discuss Jojo Siwa, adult chew toys, and offer ‘Unlicensed Advice' to a listener fresh out of a four-year relationship. One thing they know for certain — karma (and hemorrhoids) are a bitch. Want Unlicensed Advice? Send a DM to Jenna and Sophia on Instagram

This week, Sophia is excited to report that she finally has hobbies — and hobby horsing may just be her next one. Meanwhile Jenna is turning the big 2-8 and the only thing she wants are a pair of whimsical lawn geese… are we sure she isn't turning 70? Want more BS? Follow Don't Tell My Therapist on ✨Instagram✨

In Session 58, Jenna has a boomer moment and does everything she can to impress Pitbull's parents. Sophia gets a male gyno and wonders if Jenna could survive being stranded in the wilderness — with her new diagnosis, they're not so sure. 

This week the girls gossip about Love is Blind, Avril Lavigne's clone (we're onto you, Melissa) and all things reality TV. If you've ever wanted to be famous, now is your chance — just date Sophia and apply to be on the Ultimatum. Send us a DM! Want more BS? Follow @DontTellMyTherapistPod on Instagram ✨

Yes, we gave a man a microphone...but Jacob is one of the good ones, we swear! Tune in for a male perspective on Valentine's Day, dating icks, gift giving, and more. If you're seeking smutty book recommendations, you're in for a treat. But if you're Jacob's parents – you might want to skip this one!Want more BS? Of course you do! Follow Don't Tell My Therapist on ✨Instagram✨

This week, the groundhog predicts early spring and Sophia encounters a girl on a swing. The girls discuss Love on the Spectrum, relationship anxiety and the embarrassment of trying new things. Happy galentines to the girlies, remember to celebrate your friends and YOURSELF!! Want more BS? Follow us on ✨Instagram✨

This week, Jenna and Sophia review Mean Girls, email Hinge customer service, and introduce the world to Nikko D'Ambrosio: Chicago's least eligible bachelor.

Happy New Year! ‘Tis the season for engagements and you know what that means… time to compare yourself to others and spiral into a deep depression! (just kidding). This week the girls discuss their views on proposals, marriage, babies and more. We hope all of your New Year's resolutions come true and that Jenna finally gets her “full body pic.”

Sophia has been back in America for about 5 minutes and she's already almost been kidnapped – some things never change. Jenna makes a terrible first impression on her boyfriend's family, cuddles her cat's ashes, and teaches Sophia animal facts against her will. Want more BS? Follow @DontTellMyTherapist on Instagram.

Bonjour! Things are heating up this week in more ways than one. Jenna is dating Pitbull and it's getting pretty spicy (literally), while Sophia makes a new, imaginary friend in Turkey and tries being the "cool girl" with her London "boyfriend." She's not delusional, we swear!Want more BS? Of course you do. Follow @DontTellMyTherapistPod on Instagram✨

For the 50th session, Jenna reveals that she kissed a girl (and she liked it). Meanwhile, Sophia has an odd encounter with a former porn star who claims to have slept with 4,270 women (rookie numbers). Jenna also reviews her first solo movie outing and Sophia rejects a man based on memes. Here's to the next 50 sessions! Want more BS? Follow @DontTellMyTherapistPod on Instagram✨

After the last self-help session, the girls resume their regularly scheduled programming. In Session 49, Jenna mourns the loss of her cat, confronts a ghost, and becomes an (alleged) stalker. Meanwhile Sophia celebrates her birthday in Budapest with a ball gag. Like we said, business as usual. Enjoy!Looking for more BS? Follow @DontTellMyTherapistPod on Instagram

In session 48, the girls introduce Sophia's ex life coach, Ben Walker, for a lively discussion on procrastination — Ben has the insights to target the deep root of your procrastination issues so you can GET SHIT DONE! (hint: it's a LOT deeper than being “lazy”). So, practice those mantras, pay that parking ticket and break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend because Ben (and Ariana Grande) said so.Follow Ben on Insta @benjoywalker for daily insights to help you live the life you want to live!More about Ben. Ben is a former musical theatre actor turned life coach for procrastinators.He specializes in getting to the root of people's procrastination and perfectionism, and transforming that into a motivating action plan they'll actually do, so they can reach their potential.

Session 47 goes international as the girls reunite in CROATIA! But first, Jenna makes an unexpected pit stop in Germany (it was her fault). The girls forage for crabs, Sophia fist fights an old lady, and Jenna challenges a Frenchman to a dance-off. YOU DON'T LIKE FRENCH KISS?Want more BS? Follow @donttellmytherapist on Instagram

Where do we even begin? Jenna is single, Sophia doesn't understand DNA, and the adult diaper community is out to get us. Welcome to the new era of the shitshow!Want more? Follow us on Instagram

Hi Barbie! This week, the girls share their thoughts on the Barbie movie and dream of being the hero on "What Would You Do?" Jenna sucks at Zumba, professionally claps back at a therapist, and fights her high school chemistry teacher. Meanwhile, Sophia realizes the mountain is her and cuts off her Manchester fling. Follow our bullsh*t on @donttellmytherapistpod on Instagram✨

This week, Jenna demonstrates her commitment to the bit and Sophia almost bleaches her butthole. The girls discuss the new grandpa Bachelor, getting hit on at a comedy festival, and Sophia takes the lesbian test. Want more from these geniuses? DM @donttellmytherapistpod on Instagram for some Unlicensed Advice!

We're sorry that Session 43 is late, we were stuck in traffic behind a herd of goats. This week, the girls kick off their new segment “Unlicensed Advice” and help a listener confront their stinky boyfriend. Sophia commits treason and spends the 4th of July in a spaceship in England, while Jenna enters her GTL era (Gym, TikTok, Lie down) and gets her very first tattoo. Oh, and if you happen to find her pants, please let us know.

Welcome to Session 42, where no goat goes unrecognized and no steakhouse is safe. This week, Jenna learns that daddy issues cause neck pain and her boyfriend gets a special birthday meat – I mean..."treat." Meanwhile, Sophia discovers she's an iPad baby and the girls let out their anger at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse. Let us know if you see Pumpernickel in your neighborhood!Keep up with our BS on Instagram @donttellmytherapistpod

This week, the girls identify their personal icks, Jenna gets framed for a shitty crime, and Sophia breaks up with her fake boyfriend. Remember to send in your submissions for our new segment! We're still not doctors, but our therapy services are free of charge. No murder confessions plz.

Dear listeners,Despite not having the bandwidth to record, we managed to show up as our authentic selves (for better or worse). To piggy back off of that, this week we tackle some very important questions. Do Italian men like butt stuff? What is Lindsay Lohan doing right now? What strange car will Sophia get into next and will she live to tell the tale? We'll circle back with you and let you know.Best,Jenna and Sophia

This week, Jenna and Sophia return to update you on life's latest adventures. Sophia continues to galavant throughout Europe and live a thousand lifetimes — from hitching a ride on a motorcycle, to meeting a guy with a framed selfie hung up in his house — her days are far from uneventful. Back in the states, Jenna confronts a bird and helps Sophia evade prison. The girls discuss the dark side of solo travel as a woman and translate the word “no.” Oh, and if you're Swedish, please don't cancel us… we love your meatballs.

Surprise! Did you miss us? Did you even notice we were gone? Don't answer. This week, we get Morbid, experience international D, and turn down courtside seats to go to a disco. But hey, you DO only turn 27 once. This episode is definitely not sponsored by the Portland Trailblazers.

We're BACK…for now. Sophia and Jenna finally left Harry's House and are back in Portland. Sophia is leaving in a few days to start a new chapter of life, or a whole new book, we're not sure. Before she jaunts off to Europe, the girls rendezvous for one last podcast episode while they're in the same timezone. While Sophia is off living her White Lotus life, Jenna has to find a new hobby (or 3) to surprise her with when she gets back. Everyone place your bets on what Soph's hair color will be when she returns!

Bonjour! The new year is already in full swing: Sophia's dog died at a drag show, Jenna had surgery, and our friend Jacob is trying to get better at being alone (without looking like a creep). The girls confront Jacob for ghosting their friendship and start planning Soph's Eiffel Tower excursion. Jacob offers insights about men's perspective on dating apps while Jenna translates his advice to French. Will Sophia find love in another country? Was Jenna's doctor actually a ghost? Is Jacob the reason pets die? Listen now to find out...Au revoir!

This week, Jenna's wheelchair-bound mother embarks on a wild goose chase to track down a phone-stealing criminal. With her wannabe-CSI cap on, everyone is a suspect, especially the customers at Dave's Hot Chicken. Despite her best efforts to solve the case, the thief successfully avoided walking the plank. Unfortunately, this means the girls had three phones stolen in 2022 alone. They also read 30 pages of one book, took one trip to the ER, recorded 24 podcast episodes, and went on 17 first dates. Hey, we'd call that an eventful year.

This week, Sophia goes on a date with a 48 year old David Beckham lookalike and the girls discuss the pros and cons of relationship age gaps. Hint: men do NOT get better with age. Meanwhile, Jenna gets rejected on Facebook Marketplace and plans a covert operation to get the headboard of her dreams. We also learn that Sophia hates Jenna and everyone close to her, so she's leaving them and moving to Europe. No, really. She believed she could, so she is.

This week, Jenna and Sophia went through a roller coaster of emotions when a little known artist by the name of Harry Styles rescheduled his show not once, but twice. This is not what dreams are made of. The girls had to hang up their feather boas and make the most of LA, where they gained a collective 10lbs and pole danced with 70-year olds. As if that wasn't eventful enough, Sophia visits a sex club where anything goes, as long as you don't bring a black light.

Well folks, it's finally raining in Portland. We really needed this. You know what else Jenna needs? A new pair of pajama shorts. This week, the girls give a pop culture recap, reminisce on MTV classics, and cancel Kanye West. Have you ever wondered what corn and 9/11 have in common? Tune in and find out!

Strap in and strap on, Jenna and Sophia are back again. Soph may be older, but Jenna isn't any wiser. The girls talk about Sophia's X-rated birthday gift (courtesy of Bank of America), intrusive thoughts, the consequences of trying to be an extrovert, and the audacity of men...I'M FAT.

We began this podcast by sharing dating horror stories and trying to improve our mental health…Now we talk about shitting our pants and accidentally flashing a handyman. It's crazy how far we've come! Enjoy Jenna and Sophia's selection of the best moments from the past 30 episodes - the good, the bad, and the stories they definitely shouldn't have put on the internet.

If he wanted to he would...right? If you're looking for shitty relationship advice, you've come to the right place. This week, the girls had the honor of receiving their first listener submission and they cut right to the chase: those two definitely aren't "just friends." But don't take our word for it, listen for yourself. Also, Sophia attempts to give a guy sex advice and Jenna hit a bicyclist (he's fine).

No one asked, but Jenna has peed 16 times today (so far). This week we are reminded that wherever Sophia goes, chaos follows. From a failed solo adventure to meeting a white girl wasted lawyer, she really can't catch a break. Jenna unplugs for the weekend (we're just as shocked as you are) and gets a free EDM show against her will. P.S. - If your birthday already happened this year, happy belated!

In this eventful session, Jenna gets in a bar fight (with a shelf) and lives to tell the tale (kind of). Luckily, Sophia was there to tell us what *really* happened. The crew finally meets Jenna's mom and were on their best behavior, but the waiter sure wasn't. Sophia's having fun building and dismantling her dating roster, one vegan at a time. The strongest contender may just be her refrigerator repairman... #FreeTheNip

This week, the girls took a trip to Tahoe where they climbed Mt. Everest to get to a secret beach and spent 8 hours learning how to build a sex room. Jenna and Sophia get turned down by Portland's hottest new bar and meet an emotional support snake. Jenna contemplates cosmetic surgery and we learn that we could all be much prettier if we simply had access to baby foreskins. Hey, we can't all be Hailey Bieber.

This week, Sophia goes to the Big Apple, gets her phone stolen (again) and has a big epiphany. Back home, Jenna pees in a stranger's yard (allegedly), learns about "vabbing," and BuYs A hOuSe??? Very off brand.

Happy Dead Dad Day to all who celebrate! This week, Sophia and Jenna go after Big Milk and the Supreme Court - who needs rights, right? The girls road trip to Seattle and take some detours down memory lane. We learn Sophia was in a cult and Jenna went to bible camp (not scientology - sorry Tom Cruise). Strap in, relax, and enjoy the show as Jenna and Sophia make their karaoke debut for the locals - "THANK YOU SEATTLE!"