Elis James and John Robins

There's something drifting in on the air today. A funk. Criminality. Yes it seems to be bifta o'clock as John spots a doob roller on the tube. That, and it being the relaxfest which is Glastonbury, combine to see the hazy funk of ‘da ‘erb' and its ensuing uncoolness discussed at length. Because simply put this is not how Britain will build back better.Elsewhere, Elis comes in today on a high. A cycling high. And that high isn't from anything which Lance Armstrong might have partaken in. It's just the high of exercise, good vibes and raising money for charity. A figure that was primarily boosted by John. Humble, giving John. Why? Because that's just who he is.There's also a Made Up Game which appeals to Producer Dave's topical content nose, a classic Mad Dad and the expectation of Elis knowing William Hague's wife.If you want to get in touch then elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk is the means, as is 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

There's some good upstanding British gear flying around today. Bin chat. Which bins? What goes in what? What blooming colours have you got? Show us your bins on elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022.In less disposable content, there's a right to reply from one of Colin's holiday companions and he may have to be sent to prison for telling the truth.Plus there's an absolute anxiety dream as John is forced to sit through playing the voice of DI Robbyns to someone from Cork.There's bonus post bag content over on the Bureau de Change of the Mind on Saturday morning. ONLY on BBC Sounds.

Elis James has become the story, and not for the right reasons. No matter how much he talks about ‘Zoe on the train', there's no doubt that our Cymru Connecting prodigy has lost his way. He's in the Bobby Gould years. Today we attempt to correct his woeful form with some expert help.Colin makes a welcome return to proceedings as John shares more information about his holiday. Plus, there's a belting taxi-based stag Shame, and everyone tries to work out who Alan Howard is.And remember, the price of success is always paid in full and in advance.If you want to get in touch then elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk is the means, as is 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

You can tell John's been on holiday because he starts the show by giving a promotion to someone who doesn't even work on the show. The mood is high.And he's come back a new man. He's Colin now. An even more chill and organised version of Johnny JR. He's the opposite of pura vida - i.e. not the same as his travel companions, who included someone who lost their bank card before they set off and a second bank card before they returned. No surprises for who that could be.So expect a bumper John Wins Again Costa Rica Edition feat. bums.Plus there's a grovelling apology from Elis after he dug out a valued friend, reminding us of the important phrase “putting percentages on curries isn't very fun”.Have you been on a shoe string stag? Well send it to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp it over on 07974 293 022.

William Wordsworth, Carol Ann Duffy… Tim Key. Just a few of the great poets this fair nation has produced. But there are two more names to add to the pantheon, two new kids on the block: Elis James and John Robins. Our heroes have picked up their pens (opened their laptops), unfurled their manuscripts (opened Word), and trawled their creative depths to write some verses that Shakespeare himself would be proud of. Why is poetry the order of the day you might be asking? Because the aforementioned Tim Key has unlocked the door to the house and made himself at home, that's why! Plus he's only gone and made a film which crucially John wasn't invited to the screening of. Elsewhere, there is newsworthy Cymru Connection to captivate people, but are they being entertained for all the wrong reasons? Also Dave's life has fallen apart because Hannah's gone to Ibiza. Tim's also in Saturday's Bureau de Change of the Mind if you want some bonus Key. That of course is only on the delectable BBC Sounds.If you want to get in touch then elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk is the means, as is 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

After a week when John offered apology texts to Elis, Dave and the production team for being in a bad mood, he's back to his Billy best. There's a bright ray of sunshine in his heart and nethers which clears the studio air. No black eps today and Elis can leave the studio without an impending sense of worry.But there are challenges afoot for our hero, as he contends with holidaying with one whose administrative approach sits in bleak contrast to his own.Luckily he's superchillathon, and amidst such admin fears there's a decision to build a harvesting coop for the nation's Good Eggs. Plus Elis's mocking of a reaction to some quality snap bags sees the Welshman hoisted by a double sealed petard.Check out this week's Bureau bonus on Saturday, only on BBC Sounds, where rumour has it there's a very special guest joining the chaps.Want to get in touch with everything from bons oeufs to packaging retention, well send it to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp it over on 07974 293 022.

Wagon wheels, mushy pea hummus and baked bean daal. Move over Rick Stein, there's new gastronomic broadcasters in town. Yes, food is the order of the day as the delectable George Egg rides into the studio to serve up a delicious Made Up Game for Elis and John. And the theme doesn't stop there, for before you can say ‘Ready, Steady, Cook' there's a longing for Great British puds and the question “why do chippies give you so many chips?”. In non-edible happenings will Elis continue to fail at connecting until death? That and much more in 56 minutes of digestible content. To get in touch it's elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk via electronic mail, or 07974 293 022 on the WhatsApp.

It's the TFI Late Review on the show as a night-time recording has Elis at his energetic peak. He's ready to throw a chair at a wall and also discuss the latest avant-garde Spanish melodrama. It's a different vibe altogether, the boys don't even know what day it is. But in such a circular audio environment, what even are days?We speak to the chattiest man in Wales - a pillar of the world accent community no less - and there is a real fear that Elis could be stealing John's exercise thunder. Not what you want on a day where John's creaking limbs might as well be made of wood. It's also a show chock-full of 90s references with targeted history for the benefit of the under-35s.Remember, the Bureau de Change of the Mind is exclusively available on BBC Sounds on Saturday morning. And for those who don't revel in top class audio drama, this week it'll be led by emails.Get your Shames - we'd love some of those - as well as any other stuff in to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

Every week on this show you think that the last vestige of John's weird past is revealed. You think there cannot be any more layers peeled back. And then bam(!), another one, as yet another aspect of intense Robins c.1994-2004 hits you smack in the face. This is one such episode.But don't worry it's not all too harrowing, for there's a huge and extremely handsome surprise for Producer Dave, and a couple of absolutely top tier Mad Dads. Plus, Elis just simply needs to connect, as the words ‘Derby' and ‘County' are floated regarding his Cymru form. Got anything silly / irreverent / engaging to send to the presenters of the most popular On Demand radio show on BBC Sounds amongst the under-35s? Well elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp are the respective destinations.

There've been contrasting weeks for our two heroes. It's a non-stop all anecdote premiere for Elis. For he has as follows… met Hugh Grant, attended Ken Clarke's curry house, been to film screenings and had his greatest ever stag - apart from the one organised by John he stresses. *And* Mo Salah thinks he matters.John meanwhile has been asleep for half nine each night, talked about trauma and bought two sheds.We also have a guest who is perhaps the biggest mover and shaker in South Gloucestershire and also makes money out of small bowls of chips. Plus there are some incredible skiving emails.Do you have links with a mayor who John could grill? Well send it in to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp 07974 293 022.

It's official. Elis and John are the most listened to on demand radio programme amongst the Under 35s on BBC Sounds. This is huge. Finally the boys are appealing to a demographic that extends upwards to those could well be married with two children.Bringing 5 Live's average age down from 57 to 55 was the aim. But they've overshot so far that it's likely now pushing down to the cyber bullied generation.And to indicate just how willing the boys are to tailor their content to the next gen, here's a selection of the topics covered today… The standard of sewing on buttons and bedding these days. A man whose only hit was over 30 years ago. Social clubs in the 70s. Ordering a CD writer. Discussion of London's Burning - broadcast 1986-2002.Plus there's countless wins, Elis hasn't heard of a Welsh school and there's some timely Chiles content.Get anything you might have for the show over to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or via WhatsApp on 07974 293 022.

He's only gone and done it again. The serial winner himself, John Robins, the narrative bender, has won yet again. Despite not even really liking football, John just can't help being John, and he's done something on the football pitch worthy of an end-of-tournament emotional BBC sports montage that makes Elis cry. If anything feels significant, this does.John's footballing escapades are recounted with the help of friends of the show Annie McGrath and Rick Edwards, but there is debate about whether the word ‘bundled' should be bandied around as much as it is.Elsewhere it's textbook Elis and John as Elis gets excited about a man from Sunderland saying the word ‘school', and John wonders what happens to our memories when we die. Classic stuff.Lastly, after a peach of a mad dad story, there's 100% consensus for the sentence: ‘you have to read the instructions on a chainsaw'.Do you want to contribute to the great cannon of Elis and John? You can, just email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

This show isn't often one for big announcements. But today we park the trivialities. There's not a mention of word games or credit scores in sight. For another obsession is about to take over the life of Johnny JR. It's big. And it could complete his transformation from movement cynic to the Haile Gebrselassie of rural Bucks*.And Producer Dave is simply rubbing his hands together at the prospect of 11 months of ready baked content.Oh we're busy bees today, because there's also time to dip into CVs of the past where Elis simply isn't willing to accept John's stock management claims.There's also some fantastic emails that shine a light on the British economy's productivity problem. AND can under pressure Elis reverse his relegation form in the Cymru Connection?If you've got anything to contribute to our chocolate box of nonsense then get it to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp us on 07974 293 022.*(Well depending on whether Dave's contact pulls it out of the bag. Otherwise we're back to square one).

Young John Robins goes under the microscope as we learn some revealing things about his burgeoning adulthood; whilst other holidaymakers were making art around turtles and sunsets, what was a youthful Johnny JR focusing his attention on? When students were showing off their favourite books in their dorm rooms, what tomes was Robins proudly showcasing? All is revealed within.Other specimens to go under the proverbial podcast microscope in this episode are two belting accents. Yes, the newly branded World Heritage Accents is in full swing, and two heavyweight voices enter the ring.Plus, The Waste Land is (rightly or wrongly) compared to a long read about Kevin de Bruyne, and we can guarantee you won't hear the word ‘batique' more (or probably at all) anywhere else.Be sure to listen to the Bureau de Change of the Mind on Saturday morning on BBC Sounds, your surefire way to guarantee a top tier weekend.Do you have a great accent? Do you know a wise Japanese person? Would you be interested in reading John's autobiography ‘Orcs & All'? Get in touch with all your nonsense at elisandjohn@co.uk, or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

It's been a fallow period for Mr Elis James. The one time leading light of Cymru Connecting has faltered. Boy wonder no more. With 5 failures in his past 6 outings, everyone is asking "has his star fallen?" Will he become like Adel Taraabt, a mere “the streets won't forget” connector of unfulfilled promise?Today he tries to arrest the descent and rectify his mid-season slump.There's a lot else flying around the show today as well. The ruthless competition of the Stockport kids entertainer is examined, Elis watches pigs have an awful lot of sex at a farm, and John wants to head the podcast's efficiency department. Back later in the week when John has actually been to Margate.Go check out the old bonus Bureau de Change of the Mind episodes on BBC Sounds whilst you're here as well.For all your correspondence it's elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp for those of you who prefer app-based communication.

Who built John? We find out that it takes more than just a village/borough/nation to raise such a superhunk. He has an entire team behind him, like all of the top athletes of his generation. And not just any top athlete superhunk, but one on the verge of yet another birthday.With this year's birthday, Elis has pushed the present boat out even further than the standard BACS. John's got more gifts coming out of his A than he does roulade, and they will no doubt be sweet and wreak yet more havoc on his energy levels.Plus there's loads of other stuff to get into including the struggles of eating a big salad, yet more wins and a belting follow up to Elis's paint travails.Get in touch via WhatsApp on 07974 293 022 or elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk if you're more old school.

“This question will have enormous ramifications for my mental health for the rest of my life.” It's that sort of episode. Today is MASSIVE for Robins, as Producer Dave surprises him with a humdinger of a special guest. It's John's time to enjoy the fruits of 14 months worth of Made Up Games labour.But it's not all about fruit - which, yes, could be deployed as a starter. It's also an episode about mimicry and a tale regaled by Elis which will make your head sink deeper into your hands with each development.Got a Mississippi or Boston accent? Well get in touch at elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or +447974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

John and Producer Dave are back from a high after John turned 2,000 revellers up to eleven with his problematic walk in music. Elis has questions but Robins simply adds so much value to live events. And he's been adding his own energy to another live event - that of the singles night variety. And he sure did set the vibe by diving straight in with tube station facts as an ice breaker.The dating scene is perched on the lips elsewhere as there's a fantastic suggestion from a listener about the best ways to judge a potential partner. Namely footwell, fridge and friend.Plus the ball begins to be rolled on the great lilts of the globe in the UNESCO Accents World Cup.Are you from Mississippi or Boston? If you are then voicenote us on +447974 293 022 or attach a voicenote on elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.

You've probably heard it whispered on the train on your way into work. You've likely heard mutterings about it on the concourse at the football. And you've almost certainly heard your grandma claim it at Sunday dinner. Well, this episode confirms the rumours; no one else is doing this.Especially if by ‘this' you mean an extensive chat about spare pants, an extraordinary insight into the ice cream van outside the BBC's broadcasting hub, and an update on a boggle tournament. For this is a show that covers more topics than the world's best stocked library. It's the wonders of Adrian Chiles one moment, grief granola the next.Sitting atop all these topics is a palpable sense of excitement surrounding the nation's longest running opening set of Made Up Games. Johnny JR is currently on set point; can he channel his inner Andy Murray and secure that long-awaiting victory?If you want to throw a topic of conversation into the hat, send it to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

We join our heroes during a telling off session, because someone is being a naughty boy. Has John eaten too much chocolate on the way in and he's about to experience the mother of all choco crashes? Has Elis insisted that we scrap the proposed running order to talk instead about every conceivable permutation of the Nations League? Or could Producer Dave be the one in the firing line…?After the air has been cleared, it's pumped full of excitement. Elis receives quite possibly the greatest bit of post to leave Postman Dave's sack since its creation, and John relishes the prospect of ball-by-ball cricket commentary.There's muscle chat, zoo chat, and a tiny bit of (sorry) worlde chat.You too can get involved with the Elis and John ‘No One Else is Doing This' podcast. Email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

Acceptance is the word on everybody's lips today, but it has different meanings for Elis and John. For John it's a meaningful form of accepting things as they are in life. For Elis it's about accepting that his wife Isy will never be interested in the Nations League. Both are valid, I'm sure you'll agree.Also getting in on the acceptance game is this week's special guest, Harriet Kemsley, fresh from her appearance on Last One Laughing. Her form of acceptance centres around dating, and together everyone questions whether Harriet should really be hosting a dating podcast…Elsewhere, there's a humdinger of a Cymru Connection (complete with surprise connections left, right and centre) and John tallies up the wins and losses in the second instalment of John Wins Again.If you want to get in on all the acceptance fun, get in touch via email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp: 07974 293 022.

Elis and Producer Dave are fresh from taking breaths of the night DJ'ing. The only two people on planet Earth to become hipper as they age. But Mixmag has it that Elis spent most of it seated. Because that's what the top DJs do. Harris, Tong, Guetta, all from a seated position whilst sucking on Werther's Originals.Yes Elis got a little bit tired bless him and John simply isn't willing to let him forget it. Elsewhere there's 7 minutes of observational stand up which is hot to go to the nimblest comic, and just when you thought guff chat had tooted its last parp there's a hall of famer piece of correspondence.And if you root around there's also some lovely Mallett stuff and two big daddy Mad Dads amidst some top drawer listener generated content.To get in touch with your own gold standard contributions then get it to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp it on 07974 293 022 if you like your messaging a little fruitier.

John's managed to pick himself up after last Friday's show. Well to a certain degree at least - thank the lord. But the collective vibe scale is nudged handsomely towards ‘winning' as Elis has had one of his all time great days. Cycling? Check. Wales? Check. All time hero who laughs at every single one of his jokes? Check.So it's all the fun of the fair today. The topics of ‘banning pranks', ‘the greatest accents of the world' and ‘how to pad out an autobiography” float around the apple bobbing content tub, ready for the boys to sink their teeth into.And while you're here, check out the Bureau de Change of the Mind bonus episodes in the feed. Last time out there were some real surprise thrills. That's only on BBC Sounds.Have you got a UNESCO accent or know someone who does? Well voice note it to us on 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp, or add it to an email (however that's done) to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.

We've hit a low ebb. The show which won Best Entertainment Podcast at the British Podcast Awards just a few years ago is dredging the bottom of the barrel. That new low being production staff researching their credit scores ‘live' on the show. Throw in a chat with an expert on credit ratings and it's a wall to wall credit ball.And at such an ebb one would have thought it would lift the mood of Robins. This is him. Distilled Robins. But no. Rather, it's broken him, because Dave has a 999 credit score without even having a credit card. Something which he simply cannot recover from. And this has affected the mood.What ensues is a breakdown. A breakdown over being unable to nudge the needle from 999 to 1000. And a breakdown over autofilling card details on a laptop. And that's not the end of it as we see the dangers of a John with access to a credit expert on demand. Somebody break glass for a kilo of Dairy Milk to save us for the Tuesday episode record.Do you have something thrilling to add to this enthralling credit chat? The chances are remote but it's elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp if you want to subject the production staff to some light reading.

Huge news in Elis and John towers today, for Producer Dave bumped into the man, the myth, the Solero supper himself, Mr Tim Davie. Could he use this opportunity to pitch a brand new true crime podcast about dupes from Stockport who get sold fake shoes? Well that commission's ripe for the taking if there's a Magnum that goes the other way.Alongside yet more DG discussion Elis really thinks he should get into juggling, for some inexplicable reason, and we have a game which makes the greatest use of a beat since the invention of the bass drum. To get in touch with the boys send anything you've got to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022.

The sun is shining, blossom is blooming and death and divorce are on the lips. Oh the joys of spring. For how is John going to bid farewell when he and his wheels go off to the great scrapheap in the sky? And how does the statistical likelihood of marriage breakup impact the need to draw cold hard financial lines in the sand? It's all cheery stuff but amidst all that joy Elis has to bring the tone down by documenting one of his great weeks in North Macedonia with the venerable Eggy. (Think ‘scenes', ‘limbs' and ‘Matthew The Pharmacist'). Plus there's a great bath-based Mad Dad to soak yourself in and John wants to get a credit expert on the show. ‘Which other comedy podcasts are doing that?' I hear you ask. None. Precisely none. Do you want to turn on the faucets of content? Well fill up our big bubbly bath of listener input via elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

Palin, Chalmers, Livingstone… Robins(?!). Yes, gliding into the show today is one of Britain's greatest travellers. An adventurer unequalled in the 21st century. Because John has been on his once per 9 months short haul trip. Naples has experienced Robins, and he it. With such pizza consumption and the undoubted oscillation between ‘hungry' and ‘full', Elis struggles to believe that he can actually have been a laugh there.But filled with more pies than than all the ninja turtles combined, Robins has a pep in his step for what proves to be a Billy Belter of a show. The boys dig into the practicalities of 007 if he flew Ryanair and there's a classic double whammy of a Shame.Plus, there's something new bursting through the pipes. No it's not potable tap water or natural gas, but something far more important to John's existence: wins.Want to drop us a line? Well elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp are the media of choice.

Tech problems aplenty behind the scenes, but none of you will notice until the boys bring immediate attention to it. No matter though because the mood is high, for John has not yet had his two squares of chocolate.And there's a lot flying about today. Adrian gets intense about the length of forests and some of the finest fancy dress in the region abounds.Plus Elis has been on a historical coffee tour of London and it's time for the final instalment of This Is Your Stand Up Life, where we uncover a camp alter ego. Ooooo.Want to get in touch? Ooo I bet you do! What are you like?! Well your correspondence twins are elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

You join today's show mid-crash. Mid-comedown. John Robins is 30 minutes post-butterscotch. How is he meant to broadcast at the top of his game on such a slippery downhill blood sugar slide? Do Elis and Dave need to have an intervention to get him back on the straight and narrow?Amidst such a rut however there's time to dig into offering business advice to local restaurants, and a Made Up Game which sees the tawdry line tested. Plus Elis now has old hands, and The Beaker People rear their neolithic heads once more.Are you a Beaker person getting to get to grips with flint and email? Well get in touch with us on elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or on WhatsApp via 07974 293 022.

If content were a wrist, chat were the blood flowing through the veins of that wrist, and today's episode of Elis and John were the finger, then all 3 would be in perfect harmony. For this is an episode with its finger firmly on the nation's pulse.What else is the nation talking about than mullets, Van Morrison, dressing up your kids, and a pile of tyres on a farm near Narberth? It's an episode that really does cover the gamut of human experience; it contains multitudes.It also contains a pink-t-shirt-wearing John Robins, who's decided to wear a jolly colour in order to tell his subconscious that things are better than they seem. And it contains Elis going beyond the human and trying to Cymru Connect to an email.If you also have your finger on the pulse of chat and want to contribute your wares, send them to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

The Cymru Connection is officially newsworthy: we said it could be significant, and boy was it.Sadly we didn't get a 2000 word thinkpiece on whether opening with the question ‘where did you go to school?' is actually harmful for Elis's xC (expected connections), but we did get a 3 minute package on the nation's favourite feature that will no doubt be talked about for decades to come. The boys reflect on their newfound cultural importance, and John discovers a hard truth about how his role on this podcast is viewed in Wales.Beyond all the excitement, there's chat about the downsides of dressing your children for World Book Day, there's a Shame Well that's so shameful it leads to everyone talking French, and the boys wonder why farms always have massive piles of tyres. Your usual fare, basically.Oh, and we finally get to relive some of John's early stand up material. Brace yourselves.If you feel compelled to offer up some newsworthy items of your own, send them to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

Is John having a Pep Guardiola moment? For a man who wins a lot, he's chalked up a lot of losses this week. Firstly there's an unprecedented Wordle catastrophe that only the language of the great Bard can summarise. And secondly, there's a barren month on the old PB's (premium bonds).But worry not, for John has “lit a fire in today”. What kind of fire? A content fire. Nothing can stop the man from producing content.Elis dives once again into the annals of history to continue a comprehensive look back at John's 20 year stand up career. And he calls on two famous friends to colour in the details.Elsewhere, a new facet of the Mad Dad is unearthed, a listener shares a Van Morrison story, and the boys have a chat about mullets.If you want to throw your 2 pennies in, email the show on elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp us on 07974 293 022.

“Wales might be a country of 3.1 million people, but it seems like we all know each other. Well one broadcaster on BBC Radio 5 Live is putting that to the test.” [Roll VT]It's a big day for Elis. This could be significant. BBC Wales are in the house to cover the local / national news stories on everyone's lips: The Cymru Connection. The eyes of a section of the UK are on him. Can he succeed when the nation's local news comes to town?As a result there's not just one, but two bites at the succulent connecting cherry for you lucky rascals. Wipe those juices off your face, it's unbecoming.Plus there's a Made Up Game that once again confounds the boys' lowly expectations of their own creativity, whilst Elis simply cannot get his head around plot when it's sung to him.Whilst you're here get yourselves subscribed on BBC Sounds where you can also get Elis and John bonus content every Saturday morning! Want to connect with us via digital media? Well the best options are elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk on email and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

“I just feel ashamed and sad now.”John's in a bad mood. He has made this patently clear he wants nothing to catch him off guard. That's great news for Elis when he's got a big fun surprise for John that he's put a load of work into. Wish him luck.Because it's a huge milestone week for Mr Johnny JR Robins. Two decades on the circuit. And in that time innumerable regional arts centres have felt his comedic touch in that time. So many times has John won. Again. And Again. Thus now is the time to cast a wistful eye back on 20 years of John Robins stand up, warts and all. For This Is Your Stand Up Life.We also circle back around to sex clubs again. This time on The Wirral.Premium bonds are like truffles in the earth. Got any truffles that you prime hogs have dug up and now stand attentively next to, waiting for us to gather? Well send them in to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

John's currently penning something which will change global culture. But what if we lift the bonnet of his genius? That is what we find out on today's show.For in that bonce is a V8 plucking words from the ether with such vim and vigour, and combining those words to make phrases, clauses and sentences. Word constructs which then combine to make reflections and musings that will make people go “huh, that's profound” like nothing before.The ease with which John hammers out words at such a pace would make Jilly Cooper, professional blush causer, blush. Pages churned out with an efficiency that if this were Bob Cratchit doing office based tasks then Scrooge would offer him a raise.Elsewhere, there is combat over the combativeness of features and where the blame for that lies, whilst once again Elis is unreasonably put under time pressure to think of things. Plus, have you ever just snogged someone constantly for an hour?If you'd like to pen your own novellas (emails / texts) then get in touch through elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

John has eaten some chocolate just before recording and now he's all glum. So it's up to Elis and Dave to get him out of his funk. Their options: 1. Take his trousers off. 2. Give him a wedgie. 3. Let him tell his anecdote about going to a folk gig and sitting in front of an annoying couple. One wonders which they'll pick?After the chunk funk (chocolate funk) has subsided, there's more premium bond chat, and after Elis's poor showing around Valentine's Day last week, dating expert LalalaLetMeExplain stops by to impart some romantic wisdom.If you have any of the following: some tips for Elis's love life, a mad dad, or a story about winning loads of money, then we want to hear from you. Send all your guff to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

Brace yourselves, because John is about to discover something massive LIVE on the podcast. This could be significant. This could change the game. This could mean that Project 2032(TM) has come early. It's a potentially life-changing day for Robins, and somewhat like an episode of 24, it all plays out in real time. Strap yourselves in, folks. And with John's attention elsewhere, could this also be a game-changing day for our Elis James? Will the sense of excitement that's pervading the studio seep into Elis' attempt to connect to a random Welsh caller? Is a tap in on the cards for Made Up Games? It's certainly all to play for. So sit back and enjoy some textbook Elis and John badinage, featuring a welcome return of #HotChat, and a Made Up Game that features so many brand names it's taken the production team 2 days to fill out all the forms. Send in your reactions to John's potentially life-changing news to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

Love is in the air and it's really setting Producer Dave's pulse racing. And not just because he's madly in love himself. Rather it's because Elis and John are leaning into topical content in a natural fashion without prompting. Something to get any commercial radio producer excitable.For yes, it's Valentine's Day. Romance is making the studio a thick humid erotic soup. Elis will send Isy a text saying “well done”. And John's Love Heart that says “new love” on it has broken in half; a sign that pagans would have interpreted as coming crop failure.But John is in love. In love with a new beau... the Top Shows Podcast Chart. He's also had the greatest match with a woman of all time… his mortgage broker. In less romantic affairs we ask “could you wake a baby for £25,000?” and there's a clash of two ingredients that were just made for each other: Mad Dads and sat navs.Contact us right now you sexy lovers on elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp if you're more of a direct message sort of person.

What do the people want? Wordle Live. What do they not want? The Cymru Connection. That's the opinion of John Robins. Just John Robins. You thought that we were out of the Wordly woods. But no, the more concern you have for the woods the more trees John will plant. PLANT being a good starter. John wants a feature substitution and he'll wage this war on Elis, listeners and production staff alike until he gets it.Failing that, what about a daily Wordle podcast? Guys. Guys! GUUYYS!?! Don't run off. It can't happen anyway because they're hard to promote and you can't get a commercial midroll advert in if they're too short. So it's all fine. That door is closed.Anyway there are larks aplenty today on the show, and not the avian sort. For Richard Herring and his singular ball are in today to talk about someone who looks like Tim Key. Plus there's a Made Up Games which really will make TV commissioners *finally* sit up and listen to the ideas machines.If there's any format that you think has the potential to make the boys boat loads of cash then it's elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or 07974 293 022.

You would think Elis and Producer Dave would be offering praise to the mood gods, for Johnny JR is in a good one, having interviewed his favourite musician of all time for a project he cannot comment on. May - check. Oldham - check. McCombes - check (but didn't engage). Yet the fly in the ointment: with such big energy, John's sackings flow forth like a wave.Equally such vim it also means there's the vigour to go in two footed on shoes. Who could expect that?Elsewhere, we're on other fertile ground covering topics such as tying your shoe laces. It's all good stuff crowned off with a proper meat and drink Mad Dad.Got stuff to put forward to the CEO and his employees? Then it's elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk on electronic mail or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

There's some big goals targeted on today's show. Firstly, ‘legacy' is on the lips. What permanent impact can Elis and John leave?Secondly, what can help achieve Project 2032 and allow John to retire in just 7 years?Finally, Dave just wants to create some vaguely entertaining content and keep John busy.The proposed options are numerous to reach the above goals. Well, everything from pottery and doing a food safety certificate. Can any of the ideas achieve all three? Absolutely not. Not even the tantalising prospect of a thousand lovely ladies or John Robins: Deal Dog.Speaking of deal dogs, there's a Made Up Game which lasts as long as an episode of Eastenders and really gets JR's juices flowing - Elis is also there. Also expect Elis's questioning to be questioned... once again.Got any suggestions for things that John could do? Well send them to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp them in on 07974 293 022.

Some of you wanted less not more Wordle chat. You pleaded even to the production team. But the team were scared. For there were Wordle emails that had come in. What if Emperor Robins found out they'd been squirreling such content away from him. It would displease him so. Thus he was presented with it all. And like a labrador at the bowl, he could feast. Feast until unwell.So what of the pleas? With his 3.6 average word score laurel perched on his head, he peered down from his chaise longe. As the fickle thumb of fate turned down, and he yelled ‘No!'. And rather than getting less Wordle, it's more. It's double Wordle. Another 20 minutes 30 seconds of it all across two doses.This'll teach the complainers. The rioters. Eat your wordy gruel and be happy with it. Might assess ‘gruel' as a potential for new starter words actually. Dave write that down. Elis was not consulted on today's content.Anyway, aside from that there's also non-etymological issues at play including Adrian Chiles' pants and the rather frightening thought of ‘what if John was the second coming of Christ'.Remember to subscribe on BBC Sounds for bonus Sounds Bites / Bureau de Change of the Mind every Saturday morning. And if you've got Wordle-based content for the Emperor then it's elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.