Elis James and John Robins

Elis has a hot chest and feels spacey, whilst John's got his thrice a decade hay fever, which is a real problem now he's in full vis. So that's a great start to the second ever Megatisation era episode. Today's a day for big questions, including and not limited to… Are their filthcentric studio sharers the antichrist? Has John nearly completed YouTube? Can he also win an Oscar with his sizzling bath content? Would you queue for a curry house before it opens in the mid afternoon? Do you like prawns? And where's your mate?All questions answered within. And if this is the carbs to fill you up at the start of a great big Elis and John buffet well the high [production] cost protein afterwards can be found over on our new Patreon. Bonus content in the bath and the first ever Adventure of Elis and John are on patreon.com/elisandjohn. And do go through the website rather than the app so that you avoid extra app charges!And the sweet dessert of the buffet, this week's Bureau will arrive only / exclusively on BBC Sounds on Saturday morning.To get in touch contact via our brand new email hello@elisandjohn.comFor weekly visual highlights, head to youtube.com/@elisandjohn.For everything else, head to elisandjohn.com.The Elis James and John Robins Show is a Significant Production.Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's a big/normal day! Everything in Elis and John world just got bigger/stayed exactly the same as before! All praise the Brave New World/status quo!John's dressed up in a suit and tie to mark the (non-) occasion, and there's a 100 points on offer to the listener who can decipher John's scripted intro.Beyond everything changing/staying exactly the same, Elis and John try to find the best non-threatening noise to make whilst running to alert non-runners, with some very surprising suggestions. Elis tries to pick himself up after last week's missed shot at glory in the Cymru Connection, plus there's a return to a glorious sub-category of Mad Dads: milk.One thing that definitely has changed is the Elis and John spiritual home: the email hub. You can now contact the show by sending your correspondence to hello@elisandjohn.com.For lots of exclusive EJJR #content, join our Patreon at patreon.com/elisandjohn.For weekly visual highlights, head to youtube.com/@elisandjohn.For everything else, head to elisandjohn.com.The Elis James and John Robins Show is a Significant Production. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Emergency! Emergency! Elis and John just got Megatised. We repeat, Elis and John just got Megatised.PATREON VIBES IN THE AREAOur brand new Patreon channel will feature our flagship offering of The Adventures of Elis and John - a monthly visualised series too daring for TV that will feature excursions, activities and escapades from our favourite todgers. Subscribers will also get fully visualised podcast eps, behind-the-scenes action, first dibs on EJJR tour tickets and ad-free listening. Each tier offers the exact same content with our 'pay-what-you-can' scheme. To subscribe head to patreon.com/elisandjohn.WE HAVE A BRAND NEW YOUTUBE CHANNELSubscribe at YouTube.com/@elisandjohn for twice-weekly episode highlights on our brand new YouTube channel!AS YOU WEREIf you like what you like, fear not! You can continue to listen to the podcast wherever you like, the Bureau de Change of the Mind remains exclusive to Sounds and we'll still be on 5 Live every Friday afternoon.CONTACT THE SHOWOur brand new email address is hello@elisandjohn.com.WE'RE ON THE SOCIALSWe have brand new accounts! Follow and subscribe..Instagram.com/elisandjohnFacebook.com/elisandjohntiktok.com/@elisandjohnFor all other info, head to elisandjohn.comThe Elis James and John Robins Show is a Significant Production. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Strap yourself in because boy do we have a highbrow show for you today. Quoting Heidegger? Check. Ruminations on the nature of the present? Check. Elis S'ing himself in a park in Cardiff after a night on the Red Bull mixers? Check.John Wins Again throws up some interesting morsels: John reveals his latest bedtime snack, and one of John's wins leaves Elis literally speechless.Elsewhere we meet Elis's unkempt uni alter ego, John realises he should have been born in a Megaworld, and Dave is invited to get into the early human scene.Remember to pop on yer BBC Sounds app on Saturday morning to hear this week's Bureau de Change of the Mind.

Strap yourself in because boy do we have a highbrow show for you today. Quoting Heidegger? Check. Ruminations on the nature of the present? Check. Elis S'ing himself in a park in Cardiff after a night on the Red Bull mixers? Check. John Wins Again throws up some interesting morsels: John reveals his latest bedtime snack, and one of John's wins leaves Elis literally speechless. Elsewhere we meet Elis's unkempt uni alter ego, John realises he should have been born in a Megaworld, and Dave is invited to get into the early human scene. To get in touch with the show, email hello@elisandjohn.com.For lots of exclusive EJJR #content, join our Patreon at patreon.com/elisandjohn.For weekly visual highlights, head to youtube.com/@elisandjohn.For everything else, head to elisandjohn.com.The Elis James and John Robins Show is a Significant Production. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's a rollercoaster of a show for Elis James. He has the opportunity to rectify recent Welsh footballing disappointment by becoming the only player in Cymru Connection history to connect with 5 people twice. National pride can be restored, as long as Elis opens his eyes and doesn't go down a Cymru cul-de-sac. Come on El, a (potentially imaginary) listener's haircut depends on it!Plus John plays hardball with the One Show, there's a trip down the Shame Well that knocks Elis bandy, and Dave finally reveals what he's known for turning up to parties with… Send in your whats and wares to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.

“You were hungover thinking about darts.” “You are scum.” “You are a waste that has wasted himself.” “How do you like that John?” “Why don't you just melt in the park you never walked through enough 21 years ago?” “You complete piece of S.”From that exchange you wouldn't think it would be a philosophical episode. However it is. It's deep. It's a privilege, despair, sadness, nostalgia fest. And for once, the despair isn't coming from John. You've got the Bosnians to thank for that. It's also Edin Dzeko's fault as to why Elis is dressed as a man who runs a community farm.Elsewhere Dave gets some coaching off a much speedier runner, John couldn't leave his bed because he had an enjoyable visit to his old university college, and we have a reappraisal of Mellowship Slinky in B major.And finally, do we have a companion podcast to ‘A History of Nudity in a Thousand Beautiful Women with John Robins'? Because, after all, you simply must have two episodes a week these days.Get your Bureau when it's piping hot on Saturday mornings, only on BBC Sounds, and if you want to drop anything down into our digital postal chutes then wang it over to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.

Elis has come off the back of a midi week but that's not a problem, because the hive mind has another great TV format to which the networks can say “I love it, so I'm going to say ‘no'.” ‘John's Thoughts' arrives much to Elis's confusion, during which John's also come up with an emotion that's more complex than nostalgia. “What is this?” asks the Assistant to a Thought Leader about the feature. We don't quite know yet but it is certainly a great conduit for chin wagging chat. And in all of that we've got a belting Made Up Game which really plays to the boys' experience in indie commercial digital radio.It's elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk if you've got a game that could wet our whistles.

It's all Hits and Mems today as we imagine two media worlds that John Robins could have inhabited. These being: Bristol local radio (1-4pm) and the manosphere. Traffic, travel and the afternoon countdown to the pub, or grifting? Two forks in the road he could have gone down, but thankfully hasn't. Safe to say his imagination is in fervent overdrive as we also hear of a world where he has $10 million… and won an Oscar. But what of Elis? Well he may have a heart attack. We also receive a right of reply from a disgraced Global Radio employee trying to clear his name, and there's an all time great Mad Dad story of a father in a cultural vacuum. Do you possess anything mildly amusing which could pique our interest? Well elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk is the place to send it. And do get on the blooming Bureau on a Saturday why don't you?

The confidence of one of the great confidence players takes a battering this week. What starts off as some light-hearted fun around the London Marathon (after Johnny JR reveals some exciting news), turns into a head-in-hands moment that curses Elis for the entirety of today's show.How does his misstep affect his Cymru Connecting performance? Will the unassailable points gap in Made Up Games get even more unassailable? It's all to play for.Elsewhere, John's imagined a world that almost leaves him in tears, and there's a TV-worthy MUG that's more tense than this show's compliance meeting with BBC bosses after hearing John's supermarket docu-drama last week…You can contribute to the Elis and John canon by emailing elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.

The studio is wafting with sandalwood and intense male musk because Dave's got a new scent, something which is causing John much nasal fascination. But yet again, the big story is a huge Elis James week. What a run he's on by the way. He's had a completely genuine standing ovation at one of London's coolest comedy gigs. Further still, he's performed the finest bit of house jobbery he's ever done, with plumbing tape elevating this above Mega Week. Elsewhere, Adrian brings the boys some significant crispy content and John's even sacking people who no longer work with him. We also have potentially our most round about chat ever in addressing some correspondence. From cumin and white pepper into the meaning of creativity to horses and penguins, back to the email. Want to add to the larder of email content? Well get it to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk And do check out Saturday's Bureau for crying out loud. Only on BBC Sounds.

John Robins feels enormous. His Christmas Day, Ryder Cup and Tax Deadline Day have all come at once. That's right, a new supermarket has opened near his house, and he's primed and ready to make content that no one else would dream of making. Strap in for some gonzo journalism; it's Fear and Loathing in Rural Bucks.Supermarket excitement aside, we tackle the big questions: Did Elizabeth I wish she'd had meal deals? Did she resent not having a fridge, or Tetris, or yoghurt? What would Henry VIII have made of an air fryer?Plus, Elis's Welshness gets him in hypothetical hot water.Get in touch via the world's most reliable medium: email. It's elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.

What do Sir Steve Redgrave, Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, David Beckham and John Robins have in common? None of them were asked on QI. Elis has though, and it's clearly going down very very well with all parties. But today feels significant as we rope in a special guest to digest Elis hammering his friend using his fast twitch fibres. On top of that, John's having a big day - something which others seriously doubt. “He's probably just had too much hot sauce on his scrambled egg,” cries Dave. Wrong! In fact he's being texted by a ghost curry house. Elsewhere the boys ask Adrian *all* the questions you've ever wanted to know, and we get a bit nostalgic as John talks of the only cool thing he's ever done. Email us on elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk Remember, the Bureau is available Saturday morning *only on* BBC Sounds.

John is not going to dance to their tune. Who's tune? The people who design the layouts of supermarkets, that's who. Sure, they can play their seductive little ditties, but Johnny JR ain't dancing.But someone who is dancing to a tune is Elis James, and that tune is Welsh music (general). With St David's Day having just passed, the pressure is on Elis to contribute to the national mood. Can he turn around a poor run of form in the Cymru Connection, or will he besmirch the good name of Wales around its big day?Elsewhere, Elis dives headfirst into a cognitive decline casserole, the boys riff a future award-winning feature on the fly, and we take a welcome trip back down the Shame Well.Send in your missives to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.

Elis is in the middle of a megaweek. He's about to do a 100m race for charity that he wishes could be 18 yards, he's been to 10 Downing Street because Sir Keir is in love with him, and he's been accosted by a roomful of Welsh people wanting to connect with him.But amongst all this he has also been betrayed. For there was a Paul McCartney-based event that he wasn't invited to, despite another member of the team making the guest list.But what about John? He's been doing what he does everyday; checking the price of Bitcoin. This despite not ever having owned any.Plus, there's an update on the WhatsApp community and another cap in the feather of the world's greatest invention; e-mail.If you want to get in touch via this great unparalleled medium, then send your messages to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.

Elis has Barrel of Eggs'ed it. Or more accurately, Isy has. The new car has met its match in the form of inner-London carpark tight corners. But for a show that holds content on the highest pedestal possible, this can only be seen as a good thing.Not only has Elis got a damaged car, but he also has a damaged connection rate in the Cymru Connection. Can youth-based listener Holly be the ticket Elis needs to do a three-point turn and drive straight up Success Alley?Elsewhere there's an abundance of fun as both Benjamin Partridge and Lou Sanders give their two cents on hot air balloons and the glowing-up of Elis James respectively, John does some winning and losing, and a trip to the sound proof booth causes Elis to do some very strange things…Keep watering the soil of content by sending in your fantastic correspondence to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.

It's Melvin Brain in the chair today as we go all Radio 4. What is thought? What is the self? High. Brow. This is the Best Comedy show at the British Podcast Awards 2025. Parenting Hell simply isn't doing this. There's even an academic called Dr Loevenbruck involved.It is a full spectrum of vibes today. From deep psychology to S'ing yourself twice in a heartbeat.Elsewhere, John has a hollow coldness in the bones. In other words, he's hungry. Meanwhile, Elis has eggs on the brain.And it turns out there's hope for John in meeting the love of his life taking life two steps at a time.elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk on the email to get in touch - but do know that Producer Michael has read an awful lot of emails about inner monologues this week. The sheer quality of correspondence this week has been top tier.

It's a shame this year's Oscar nominations have been named because John's new film idea could have swept the board. Watch out John Ford with your record 4 wins for Best Director, watch out James Cameron with your highest-grossing films, there's a new auteur in town.However, it isn't all positivity for our Robins. After the highs of creativity, the lows of having your heart broken by someone you thought was a good friend. Elis's foul-mouthed review of one of Frank Zappa's albums leaves a sour taste in the mouth, and ends up with Elis being put in the Dweeb Gang with fellow Zappa detractor Snoop Dogg.Elsewhere there's a Winter Olympics-based Made Up Game where Elis just simply will not show his workings, Drs Chris and Xand van Tulleken leave John a heartwarming message, and a harmless game of 20 questions goes down like a lead balloon...Keep sending in your top tier correspondence to elisandjohn@bb.co.uk.

It's limbs in the studio as a box of brownies and a couple of books have lifted Elis out of a funk. What great news for bookworms with low blood sugar. But the internal glucose alarm isn't the only one going off as a fire alert causes chaos. We also get psychological as the boys unpick the idea of the inner monologue, and with that the terrifying engine steering John under the bonnet. Would Freud enjoy this? Potentially. Would it frighten him? Almost certainly. And from brains to bodies, the show gets panned as the least erotic thing possible, whilst we have a couple of fantastically zoological Mad Dads.It's elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or 07974 293022 on WhatsApp if you've got any comments on the above. But please nothing too close to the erotic bone. Keep it PG.

Due to factors it's another ride on the remote record train as the Bucks-Hulme-Palace trifecta is enacted once again. But fear not, for geographical limitation does not lead to content limitation, and the show's exemplary badinage level is kept high.The trifecta briefly becomes a quadfecta through the addition of comedian and protocol penner, Pierre Novellie. Yes, the man who made it his business to codify the essence of Cymru Connecting stops by to adjudicate a live connection attempt. But not before taking questions on the Boer War and explaining what the Dutch have to do with all of this.Then it's onto an old classic Made Up Game that reveals slightly too much information about its players…Do you have contributions that will help us maintain industry leading levels of badinage? Send them into elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp them to 07974 293 022.

Today we discover there's a lot going on with John. “News to me” you might say with an eye roll planted at the front of your visage. However, we're in the more physical realm for once, as his clown feet and crisps ankles hone into view.Elsewhere, Dave is having technical problems because of the need for interrogation-level lighting being installed. And Elis is broadly fine.In some excellent correspondence, there's solutions to the below knee level fridge issue that's been rocking rural Bucks, the boys are in Forbes. Larry Leasehead and Simon Secondhand also give their respective views in what is some of this show's most practical advice in a generation.It's elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293022 on WhatsApp if you want to add to the mound of excellent listener generated content.

How well do Elis and Producer Dave really know their wives? After being asked about Hannah's hopes and dreams a few weeks ago, Dave finally returns with the answers, and Elis can't resist trying his hand at nailing down Isy's favourite things.Elsewhere, Elis finds himself in Cymru Connecting heaven and discovers a new brand of humour, while John unearths his latest non-monetisable talent in a game which he initially goes in two footed on.For the usual top-notch correspondence it's elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk on email and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

Today is all about bravery. Lord Nelson levels. John's back is playing up. Why? “Oil rig level” dangerous activities in cleaning his below knee height fridge. So he's wheeled in on a big telly for a London-Buckinghamshire simulcast. John has also been listening to The Witches in bed. Which is also brave because it's scary. Elis has also been in the wars at 5-a-side with an injury apparently akin to tearing your nethers. Yet more bravery. In happenings which are irrelevant to courage we also fly in an expert to help John make his holiday booking process less insane. Does your fridge not have a crisper drawer? Email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp in on 07974 293022 if you have information pertaining to such a topic.

“Caernarfon Heritage Steam Train, why must you forsake me?” Now that's a taste of what to expect on this episode. The next step in Elis's English language stand up return has hit the buffers as he plays a room which isn't Europe's best gig. Just how can he produce laughs from wealth managers when Llanfairfechan Community Centre is some of the best stuff in his arsenal? Fear not however, because the bit about a big table in a miners' institute is always ready to go in emergencies. But it's not all anxiety dreams, as we take a journey into the forest mind via John's new mantra for life. There's also one of our greatest jingles ever and a game which Elis hates, thus meaning great aural enjoyment for yourselves.Want to get in touch? Your go-to's are elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk on email and 07974 293022 on WhatsApp, which is like text messages but also works on internet only SIM packages.

John has had a nice time. So join us on a journey as Britain's most normal man goes on holiday to Scotland. Now, we've been here before, and we can promise that this time it involves far less emotionally intense visits to various Celtic car parks. Elis's return to English language stand up also continues apace. It's going so well that he's going to play a room where the average age is about 22 and specialises in clowning. How does he play this? We also receive more info on the great Dame Caroline Harriet Haslett. Can you recommend any other types of salmon? If you can, then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp in on 07974 293022

It's a definition bumper pack show today as we cram as much goodness as we possibly can into a single podcast episode. Think of us as one of those fruit shots; it's pure podcasting distilled into a single hit.The main ingredient is friend of the show Josh Widdicombe, who pops by to talk all things pop culture. He's adding a new wing to his podcast empire and Elis and John have suggestions. Josh also provides a boots-on-the-ground review of Elis's recent return to standup, and lifts the lid on his lofty ambitions.Widdicombe aside, John returns to a simpler time, a more fruit-game-based time. But he ain't slicing, no no. This time he's merging.And the fun doesn't stop there as Elis attempts to arrest the Cymru Connection slide by asking a caller if they've ever bought baguettes in Cardiff. It's vintage stuff.Send in your thoughts and feelings to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp 07974 293 022.

Who's that unrecognisable figure sat across from John!? He looks full of beans, he looks young and vibrant. Why, it's Circuit Elis! And he's so back.After playing the country's most bafflingly playable gig, Elis's mood and confidence are at an all time high. He's perfected his opening gambit, he's got the country's best bullet-pointed set. That is until John bursts his bubble…John on the other hand talks us through his miracle morning that comes complete with its own (and very on brand) acronym. He also describes how he's recently boarded the porridge train, before sending a listener to the sin bin for challenging the autonomy of the UK plug.You know what they say; if you come for Dame Caroline Harriet Haslett DBE's Type G UK plug, you best not miss.Send in your plug eulogies to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp them to 07974 293 022 (preferable using a plugged in appliance).

Today's show is one of peaks and troughs as everyone experiences their ups and downs. John puts forward a very questionable defence against a hypothetical crime, and Elis rails at scoring badly on an intelligence test.On the flip side, the state of John's brain receives numerous plaudits, and Elis tells an Oscar-worthy joke. It's classic light and shade.Elsewhere, Dave takes the team down memory lane by invoking Project Spice, as the boys taste a variety of hot chili sauces that are guaranteed to blow their heads off. Elis attempts to kick-start the Cymru Connection, we learn about JohnTech (‘mainly tech stuff'), and Elis gets blindsided by a historical meeting with a bloke on holiday who kept saying that Sheffield was massive.Emails and WhatsApps to elisandjohn@bb.co.uk and 07974 293022 respectively please.

2026 is a big year for Johnny JR as he sets his sights on winning the London Marathon. And with Dave lacing up his cheating shoes to pound the P of London's streets as well, the team have quezzies.Luckily today's episode features a man who is more than capable of answering said quezzies: friend of the show and running guru Ben Parkes. It's his job to help John hack the London Marathon. Godspeed Ben.But fear not, it's not all running chat. Elis has been on the TV, John is (like Meatloaf) out of hell, and there's a cornucopia of call centre celeb stories to read.Keep your ears peeled for some fine Mad Daddery featuring ancient ONS maps, and the team imagine how John would fare on I'm A Celebrity.Reader of this description, send us an email! The address is elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and the WhatsApp is 07974 293 022.

Could 2026 be the year that Elis and John change beyond recognition? And we're not talking spiritually or even emotionally; we're talking physically. Because Elis aims to bolster his handsomeness across the calendar year, and John toys with the prospect of going bagless under the old peepers.Cosmetic surgery aside, John has written up a 28 point plan for if he became World King. Luckily he lost confidence in delivering all 28 points, but do watch this space.And we kick off Elis's Annus Connectus by delving back into the nation's favourite pastime: the Cymru Connection. It all ends with Elis asking a random Welsh person whether they know a tech guy from a random theatre who once said he liked the Beatles. Normal Cymru Connecting resumed then.Send in your wonderful correspondence to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

It may be a new year, but it's an old John we find on today's podcast. An attempted new year's resolution meant the odd tear was shed, and now he's in hell. But it's not all bad, because he does have the cleanest crotch in show business thanks to a hand sanitiser mishap.Spirits get lifted by a visit from our in-house statistician, our very own Andy Zaltzman, Statman Ross. He reveals that John's Made Up Game stats are akin to those of Roger Federer, and there's confirmation that Elis can certainly go down as one of the big 4 MUG winners of his generation. An aural heat map is drawn up of Elis's connecting hotspots, and some geographical blind spots present themselves.Elsewhere there are celeb call centre tales, and Dave sheds light on his brief stint as a professional Mario Kart racer.Do you have some correspondence to lift John out of hell? Send them to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp 07974 293 022.

The year 2025 will forever be remembered as the year of Elis and John. It will be remembered for John's wins and losses, for Elis's car antics. It will be remembered for Tim Key's John snub, for Elis cementing the Cymru Connection into the Welsh psyche. It will be remembered for James Acaster's searing takedowns, for Dave's alarm disaster, and for the four words: 'it was oil again'. As Elis and John set sail into the new year, it's time to look back at the wake of good content they've left behind. Expect paint in car footwells, a surprise appearance from Lou and a chaotic Made Up Game for the ages. Please continue to send in your fantastic correspondence to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

Put the wrapping paper down, turn off Home Alone and stop stressing about a glorified Sunday roast… the true meaning of Christmas has finally been revealed to us, and would you believe it, it's Elis and John! Yes, everything in this festive period has been leading up to Elis and John's Christmas Cracker, and boy does it deliver on festive cheer. Because what's more Christmassy than a debate about TVs in hotel rooms, or a 45-year-old man getting lost in pictures of the 1950s footballer Tom Finney, (aka The Preston Plumber)?Unwrapping this podcast with your ears will also reveal a not-so-secret secret Santa, some yuletide Mad Daddery, and a chat with a very busy Mother Christmas. But festive cheer is not the only thing on today's agenda because we're also celebrating 500 episodes of the BBC era! Elis and John relive some moments from their very first show and the ghosts of Christmas Past Simon Mayo and Mark Kermode stop by to play a Made Up Game and chat Christmas flicks. Thanks for all your tip-top correspondence this year, and may 2026 bring even better emails and WhatsApps about oils, guffs and inappropriate school trips. Send everything into elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp 07974 293 022.

John's eaten two helpings of pancakes and we're in a race against time. Can this bantercast cram in enough badinage before one of its hosts succumbs to a sugar crash? It's a question that's been asked many times before, and one that will no doubt be asked again, but it's a critical question nonetheless.Elis has spent the week telling his wife Isy that he ‘must be alone' in order to finish John's book. He successfully wrangled enough solo time to do so and delivers his verdict. It's praise all round, but Dave appears to come out of it badly.Elsewhere it's peak Christmas. Listener gifts are opened, Elis is dreading his drive to Cardiff, and John doesn't want to talk about his Christmas lest the show turn into another mental health podcast.And we end on the question: how do you inject digital oil into a podcast to make it rise to the top? Answers on a postcard.All Elis and John want for Christmas is your correspondence, so send it to: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

You might detect a slight difference in Elis's demeanour this week; a bolstered confidence, an increased self-worth, a man with a purpose. Elis has tasted power, and he ain't looking back. This is the new Elis, Elis 2.0, Elis ‘You'll Do What I Say' James. Because Elis has looked after 4 children on a school trip to The Monument. This feels significant.Meanwhile John thinks we're molly-coddling the next generation and has gone rogue. He's chucking things into the Thames left, right and centre. Step on the wrong side of Robins in this mood and you'll be swimming with the London fishes before you know it. Oh, and he's suffered the consequences of chilli rice…There's also a Cymru Connection which leaves Elis with mixed feelings, a festive Made Up Game classic, and some advice for young would-be stand up comedians.Send in your festive missives, Shames, and Mad Dads to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

Today we ask the question: what would a world without Dave look like? A Daveless world. Imagine a sliding doors moment where a sterner producer was given the reins in 2014. Fast forward to late 2025 and in the studio, almost certainly, Elis would still be eating or have forgotten to come in. John would have vape hot boxed himself into a coma. Do not underestimate his impact.No Dave and no wise words of “Be careful Elis” after one presenter has deployed a “Is that it?!” to John's detailing his once every six months busy day.Around such questioning, John also unveils Craig Bellamy's autobiography (inc. typos) and a senior writer at Rolling Stone gets in touch. Elsewhere, there's news of more Noel Edmonds hysteria, quite significant gunge chat and a dead silly mad dad. Oh what are those dads like!Points of contact: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk (Electronic mail) 07974 293 022 (WhatsApp)

What does an already packed show need to make it feel complete? That's right, it's an 8 minute intro (or just under a 5th of an Edinburgh show...) and an 8 minute Noel Edmonds apologia. This show is nothing if not disciplined.Once we're all intro'ed and up-to-date on the elements of Edmonds, it's content content content. John does some winning and losing, Elis does some Cymru Connecting, and everyone plays a great Made Up Game that has John declaring God is real.Send in your knick-knacks to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

Oil rises to the top of the content liquid again, primarily because of its lower density. It's hard to remove as we know, so there's a slick across the episode clogging our feathers.So what are your oils? More importantly, what are Adrian's oils? And will John insist on going through all the smoke points of all the oils? Questions that are all answered within.Plus, Elis has got deep into a karaoke hell cubicle, Producer Dave's left his bags at a sex shop and John once again stays in touch with the cultural zeitgeist.“Unless they set cryptic crosswords for The Times, are in Geese or are Brian Eno I don't know who they are.”The Bureau is of course available on Saturday only on the universe-leading BBC Sounds.Got something of note? Then elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp are your primary nodes of correspondence.

With something being filmed just outside the studio we're lucky Elis and John made it in for today's episode. John was very nearly accosted to fill the leading role, and Elis was just about able to peel his eyes away from potential live blunders. Thank goodness for the boys' dedication to #content.Away from the glitz and glamour of a film set, Elis and Dave have both been battling with bed bugs, one with a more incendiary technique than the other...The Cymru Connections is back, a great Made Up Game is played, and there's even some live crosswording.Send in your thoughts, feelings and reflections to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

John has had enough of apologies. He wants action and results. Combine that with John being notified about every business expense, and you get a very scared Elis and Dave.But sometimes it's fear that instils results - or more importantly top quality content. This is how Sir Alex would want it.Meanwhile the more be-thighed of the two has had enough of clouds. He doesn't ever want to look down at them again - something which would undoubtedly baffle the forward thinking Victorians.And what oils have you got? Let us know via elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293 044 on WhatsApp.

As John returns from yet another triumphant, nay groundbreaking eye-climbing tour of the Alps, there are a few questions on everybody's lips: What records did he break this time? Was he able to stick to the confusing speed limits of Swiss roads? And more importantly, what would the future of the BBC look like under the tutelage of the great eye-climber himself, Johnny JR? Wins are totted up, losses are struck off, and a new future for the BBC is hammered out. Watch out prime-time TV, Wordle is coming for you. A major player in the new BBC will be Ania Magliano, who stops by to get pelters about her boggle gameplay. In the vein of all good guests she comes bearing gifts; a cracking Made Up Game that gets the boys' brains and feet working. Send in your suggestions for a BBC backed by its youngest broadcaster John Robins to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp 07974 293 022.

It's a big big week. No phoning it in this time. No no, as this is the most politically significant balanced podcast in the UK.Finally, the call of the nation has been answered. John Robins has been in the corridors of power. If you notice general efficiency being raised by 0.12% in UK PLC this week then you have one man to thank - external factors notwithstanding.He brought up the economy. He brought up the welfare state. He brought up international affairs. And Elis was there. And John did all of this whilst having a prawn tempura in his pocket.It's a visit to the PM one minute, the next it's the most expensive Chinese John has ever had surrounded by horrible people. The duality of life.And yet somehow despite all these matters of import we get to Geese chat within the first 2 minutes.Want to join John's cabinet? elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp are where you can send your applications.