Hypotheticast

Wow.  This is it! The last one! You made it to the weird little farmhouse at the end of the driveway. You thought you might have taken a wrong turn, but no. That's us, waving, from the windows! You were on the right road all along. And what a road it's been. Thank you, sincerely, for your love, your feedback, your participation, your questions, your games, your laughter (we assume), your tears (we assume), and your support during this strange five-year thing that we decided to do and see if anybody liked. It's been an absolute treat, in the best possible way. As Ronald McDonald once said: I'm lovin' it. Topics for the Finaltheticast include: Bugs Need to Calm Down and Smile More, You Are Jason, Every Single Card I Get in the Mail Goes in There, Would You Try to Get Me, We Are All a Spider in God's Beard, Livin' La Vida Donka, Treat Me Like a Cow, and The Nightmare of Being a Human Sized Snail. *** Come say goodbye forever to us in the FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you'd like to start listening to from the beginning again, but on a different app. It'll be like a whole new journey! I bet we even sound better over there. 

The Final Meat.  Well, three mini-meats, actually. Which is great! David, Emily, and Mike all bring a meaty question of their own. Get ready to talk Pokemon, Moon Murder, and Endings. Topics include: Stumpkin, Here I Come Bologna, Paperoni, Squirtguns and Fortresses, Just as Fucked Up as Everything Else, Antarctic Crimes, Change Every Version of Beauty and the Beast, and A Bobbsey Twins Book With a Gun. *** Come say goodbye forever to us in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you think the whole reason anybody wants to go into space is to be the first person to murder someone else in space. 

Welcome, welcome, welcome. Come in. Sit down in the first of three chairs we've prepared for you. This one is labeled "Would You Blank It," and while sitting in it, you'll witness the final round of this game we truly did invent All this time, we've been trying to reach the perfect equilibrium, and I'm pretty sure we finally did. Topics include: That Big Baby is Pooping Somewhere, Jort in Solidarity, A Medium Guy, Going Jesus or Going Moses, Burning Books is Fine, He Just Puts His Hands in Them, and Ramping Up Our Merch. *** Come say goodbye to us in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you understand why they went to a Post Office.

Red. Flags. It's the last time we get to create attractive, strange, or maybe downright repulsive people to date! Get in here and talk to us about dealbreakers. Is cookie breath even GOOD? Topics include: Radio Rental, Thinking About the Radisson Blue, Aggressively-Gendered Nannies, I Don't Love Children, Cassie with the Cookie Breath, They're Practically Free, A Rodeo Champion and a Rocket Scientist, Cure Cancer with Kisses, and That Ark Might Come in Handy. *** Come say goodbye to us, and other fans of the show (you'll never talk to them again!) in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you're pretty sure being a Rocket Champion is better than a Rodeo Scientist. 

Would. I. Rather. This one's about US. Well, it's also about how well we know each other. Some of us wrote questions beforehand, some of us read some beautiful pre-generated questions mostly about rattlesnakes, and some of us made them up on the spot. But no matter the method, we all learned something about each other. And ourselves. Topics include: If You Wanna Shine You Can Shine Any Damn Day You Want, Houseboat Houseboat Hole, Four Skeletons, I've Grown Up a Little Bit, No Gods No Masters Only Daves, Let's Get Trapped in an Elevator, and I Want it to Be Just For My Personality. ***

Oh, hi! It's the sixth-to-last episode of this wonderful, beautiful little son that we call a "podcast." What a thing. We're playing Dark Stories one last time, because we're just feelin' too dang optimistic about the world and we really gotta season it with some BUMMERS. Just kidding. There's a clown in this one. Topics include:

It's time for another FINAL ROUND of a BEAUTIFUL GAME. That's right, on this, our 7th-to-last-episode of the Hypotheticast, we're playing our final round of one of our favorite games: The Good, The Bad, and The Answer!  Tune in as we imagine, and then critique each other's imagination! That's fun, right? Oh, yes.  Topics include: Sandy Windyhouse, We Were Such Little Babies, Nobody Will Forget Emily Dussault, I Think From Now On You Should Scoop Your Own Litter Box, Theatre Goosts, Got a Little Chill; Better Shut the Fuck Up, Not Everything Can Be Crushed, Especially the Underwear, and Neon Brown.  *** Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you think there's a pretty good chance you'd marry a human version of YOUR pet. 

Oh my god, hi! I can't believe it's you! And you're positively glowing. You're just in time — we're playing a game called Fallout Shelter. It's that ol' apocalyptic mix-em-up with beings + powers + accessories that always brings a smile to the brain. Oh, and there's an important announcement in this episode, so listen. Listen to it! To this episode! Topics include: Make a Butt Listen to Our Podcast, Punish Me with Old Food, She's Single, Well That's What He Has, Time's Up On That, and Emily's Frat Guy Friends. *** Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you would have gone with Stinky Kim.

Food! Do you like? I like. Of all the things, Food is certainly one of them. And it's at least in my top five! I'm a real fan.  Today, we're going to design some celebrity meals — inspired by the Saweetie Meal — but for celebrities and restaurants you . . . might not think to combine.  Topics include:

***CONTENT WARNING: one specific story about bug infestation and human decay.*** He's almost here! Old Mr. Skeletons himself, the self-proclaimed and Wal-Mart Sponsored "Santa of Halloween." It's not a good ad campaign, but it is technically an ad campaign.  But really, the ween is close. So, gather round, and listen to us answer one HUNDRED spooky would-you-rathers. We did all one hundred. We did. Topics include: It's Too Close to Halloween to Use Phones, I Love Spooky, I Am Not Bringing the Spiders to Work, With the Power of Bugs Anything Can Happen, Oh My God a Duck is Here, Scare Package, Do You Want to Bleed Out of Your Whole Body or Get Killed by Me, and Scary Laugh. *** Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you knew that we could liquify. 

It's still SO scary out there. But the two antidotes? Oh, you know. Podcasts and friendship. This one's got BOTH. Wait, there are three antidotes. The third one is kissing. And while we do not kiss on this episode, we DO discuss who we would WANT to kiss.  And the Absolutely Certified Mega-Star Hope Nordquist joins us. It's too much. Topics include: Vampire Consent Culture, Terrifying Conversations with Tilda Swinton, Because of How You Just Said "Get Nasty With", All Turtle Guy, Sausage Man Knows What He Wants, Scary Stories to Date in the Dark, What Gravestone Have You Gotten To, and I Want the Fancy Witch. *** Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you aren't afraid to answer the cats / bats / rats question.

It's scarytimes, and there's so much to be scared of. How do you know what to look at, what to be around, what to listen to, in order to really maximize your fear? We're here to help you figure out what the absolute SCARIEST things are. We got this.

Yeah, scary.

It's Fall! Autumn! The Third One! Whatever you call it, trees have begun the big dump. But the only thing that's fallin' over here at the Hypotheticast is our ratings. Wait. Anyway, we're doing a couple Autumnal Buzzfeed Quizzes today! Tune in to learn about us, as we learn about ourselves.  Topics include: Wood Paneling is Back, Too Soggy, Lumbersexual Snacks, Easy Bread, OatGurt, Movies Don't Have Feelings, We're Ready for H, Suckin' the Jelly, and Classic Ween. *** Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you'd order something simply called "sandwich." 

Well, well, well. Our beloved Mike is becoming another year older. So he's brought some birthday-party-themed would-you-rathers for us to reaaaaaaally chew on. There's some existential stuff in here, travelers. Come on down. Topics include:

A lot of folks are quitting their jobs. Nobody wants to work for you anymore. But what jobs are we going to get? This week, we're discussing what it would be like if we changed careers, but in a fun way. Yeah. Fun. Topics include: The Circle, The Patch Adams Scale, Tiny Anthropomorphic Body Cells, Hoping Someone Will Write a Dark Story About Me Someday, Strike David From the Record, Sea World Sucks, I Would Sleep with Them Where They Are In Their Nest, Break Up With Your Cowboy *** Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you'd like to work at SeaWorld to "change the system from the inside."

Ahahaha. Wednesday. It's back again. And so are we! We're playing Red Flags, which is absolutely a game that you all should play, to know exactly where your boundaries are. We all learn something every dang time. Topics: What If I Was Really Aggressive, Until the Ground Beef Stops, Physical Comedy Can't Be Beat, Mr. Bean Lives in the Bean, Touch Me In My No-No, The Star Wars Kid, You Have Strong Suspicions that They're a Serial Killer, and Hot Log. *** Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you think that the funniest person in the world is probably more of a Dracula.

Oh, yes. It's time for a Romantic Dramedy. Mike and Emily take some randomly generated creatures and create some absolutely juicy shows / movies that will almost certain cause some sort of TV Network bidding war.  Topics include: Extreme Fantasy Names, SOS I Need You to Come Here Now, I Should Be a TV Writer, Time Mouse is Terri Gross, King Spacefinder, She Kinda Rains Metal Lightning, and Dollar Tree is Your Friend. *** Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you'd like to hang out at a space bar with a couple gods. 

Back to school! We're . . . doing it? It looks different, obviously, for many folks. But on THIS podcast, we're making it look very different. Mike and David are going back to school. And Emily's in control. It's a Would You Blank It. Topics include: The Ejection Lever, Duct Tape Your Wrists Together, You're Old School, God Answers Prayer, How Knobby Is Her Hand, Cover Your Necks, He's a Super Nice Guy, Elevated Cafeteria Pizza, and Big Indecent Guys Fail at Real Tests and the Real Tests Happen Here Where There are No Big Indecent Guys. *** Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you would eat any and all Fairy Food that you came across and enjoy your Big Joyful Spirited Away Pig Life. 

We're makin' up some Dark Stories! That's right. And what's more, we're solving them, too. It's like when the detective in the movie is like "I also did the murder" and everyone's like "well it's not as impressive that you solved it then, is it?" and the detective is like "no not really, but what a twist, right?" It's a little like that. Topics include:

We. Love. Corporations.  But you know what we love more than corporations? Marketing for corporations. So, we're playin' a little game called Adverteasing, which is . . . a real game, from a box. We're guessin' slogans, and doing some fairly wild speculation. You'll like it. Or, like, if you don't, that's fine, there's at least a couple other podcasts out there. Topics include: Tio Sancho Taco Shells Commerical *** Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you also checked and the Tio Sancho Taco Shell commercial is definitely fake, which is honestly a huge bummer, and I really wish it wasn't, because wow the joy and shock I felt watching it for the first time believing in its wild awful glory, wow wow, what a thing.

Ingestion. Embarrassment. Pain. These are things that, apparently, Would-You-Rathers can be about. We're just drawin' some random ones out of a Zobmondo box and hittin' em up with our analysis. We're like, experts, maybe, sort of, in a way.  Topics include: Whoopsie, When No News is Good News, Monicagate, Mel Gibson's Disease, Medicine Is a Mystery, GutscheGate, The Sewer Tsar, Naked Witch, Evil in His Eyes, and She's Kissed for Sure. *** Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you'd like to hear children come on our show live and ridicule us. 

You've got problems, right? Yeah. Me too. But we all know the real problem in 2021: there isn't enough novelty food.  We're here to change that. 

CW: mention of prison, death Oh hi! Dark Stories! They're here! They're mostly kooky and weird, but this week there's a dash of serious, which is . . . weirdly unexpected. What a ride! We're solvin' it all, baybee. Topics include: Which Ones Are the Dogs Days of Summer, He's a Strong Fish, A Donnie Darko Situation, I Was Immediately Disappointed, Take Notes Tanner, Their Mechanic-Man Relationship, What He's Seen, Big Fart, Inner Dark Stories, and Was It Her Mom? *** Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you'd like to hear some tales from the app Fart Stories.

You know all those burning questions you've had about David's husband? Like, who even is that guy? Let 'em burn. Because we're asking questions about Emily's husband today. The game is Would You Tanner. Or Would Tan Rather. Or something like that. But it's speculative, it's suspenseful, and their very marriage hangs in the balance. Topics include: These Richards and These Jeffreys, His Hair is a Favor to Us, He's Got a Big Big Job, Tanner's Big Trees, Carnival Sparker, I Love the Arts, The Audience is Familiar with My Hair Journey, I Hear Those Wedding Bells Un-ringing, and A Fine Enough Showman.

Would you guest-host it? Yeah, that's right. We're playin' it. Would You Blank It is back, and Raynee is also back. Come find out what she will and won't put up with as a guest-host of a fictional podcast. Turns out: she's tough.  Topics include: Large Things, Linty Shrimps, I'm Not a Mean Person, Don't Look Steven in the Eye, Rate These Boobs, Junk in the Bunk, Betsyross Galaxy, and All the People You Love and Know and Work With. *** Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you'd also like to hear us make a show about junk that people find in underground bunkers.

Raynee's BACK. And she's brought with her some Do, Dump, Dates and some would-you-rathers. What. Are you kidding me. Too good. Too creative. Get her outta here. Topics include: Is it the Goblin, Hand or Mouth Stuff, Spit Rum and Crush Melons, The Gooey Core, Chain Me Up in a Shed, and I Am a Quivering Small Dog. *** Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you're also wondering what happens after the water part when you're just . . . wet.

Ah, you. Good ol' you. Here again, to see me. Me! The lowly Hypotheticast. What a privilege. What an honor. Let me take your hat, and your coat. These look expensive. My, my. We've got a guest today, by the way! Her name is Raynee! She's the Would You Rather Madness Champion, and truly shines in her role. She's taking over the podcast! Forever! It's just her now! That's it!   Topics include: Old Fashioned Would-You-Rathers, The Old Emily, Nothing Exists Until It Has a Name or a Flag, Pete Beveges, Can My Toe Taste My Shoe, Champ Stamp, Four Loko is Confusing, Punchy the Island Guy, and If You Be The Judge. *** Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you think Raynee seriously did a phenomenal job and you just want to listen to her again. 

Do. Dump. Date.  The only three ways.  Help us choose. Topics include:

We've got a lot of ideas. Come along with us, and hear them. Or just like, play the podcast, but take out your headphones, go on a walk, and imagine what we might have said. That's the true Hypotheticast.

You know the game. Or do you? Everything you know has changed. Nothing will ever be the same. Would. You. Blanket. Topics include:  Next Pandemic, Buttercups, The Pizza Party of the Soul, The B Stands for Blanket, Something That Knows About Ghosts, Dirty Blankets, The Girls Only Dorm, The School to Blanket Pipeline, and Good Morrow. *** Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you think there is such a thing as too many blankets. 

Sometimes, life needs a little spice. Like, probably all times. When have you ever said that you didn't want spice? What's that? Many times? You enjoy a day without the unexpected? Well, isn't that just normal and responsible of you.  This is a spicy episode! About romance! Listen!  Topics include: Sylvia Plath is Alive and Well, The Dark Story Within the Dark Story, Dogs Yell, Spaghetti?, Eddie the Machete King, It's Just Fish Mound Not The Fish Mound, Owl Blessings, This is a Weird Podcast, The President's Treasure Car, Tunnel Time, and Everyone Under 30 is a Teen. *** Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you want to know what Emily said for those last three minutes.   

Another day, another six hundred thousand dollars. That's right. That's how much money we make, every day. Collectively, of course. Not individually. We're not monsters.  Today's episode is about Dark Things, like rich people. It's Dark Stories, baybee. Come solve mysteries with us. Betcha can't. Topics include: We Unlocked Podcasting, Trash Hut, A Really Bad Criminal Guy, Not Many People Want to Be in a Jungle, Snipe Snipe Snipe, I Really Wanted It to Be a Magic Show, and Was It a Cannon Man? *** Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you think it WAS a Cannon Man. 

Is it time? Why, yes! Time for what? That's up to you, my beautiful friend. For us, it is time to make a podcast, in which we answer Would-You-Rather questions and our bond becomes even more powerful. Do you want to be powerful? Join us.

Wuh oh. Wednesday.  How would the corporate world be different if, instead of calling it "hump day," we called the middle of the workweek "Wuh Oh Wednesday"?  We're not going to answer that question on this podcast, but we are going to explore the character-filled fictional radioactive landscapes of a game called Fallout Shelter! Topics include: Unfamous Jeff, Sky Dad, The Socks are Squirrel-Sized, My Heart is Taking Shape, Size Doesn't Matter to a Dentist, Powerpoint Night, We Have Great Personalities, Had a Big Week, and Blare some Hard Rock Music. *** Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you think the Dentist should pick a side.

Did you know that every problem in the world can be solved by a product? It's no coincidence that both words begin with "pro," because that's what we are. Pros. Here to solve. There is so, so much ethical consumption under capitalism. Topics include: Pizza Grits, Sun Too Bright, Bubble Time, You Know Shrek, Don't Talk to ME, The Hole the Predator Leaves in Your Wall, You Can Just Huck It Around Your Yard, Deflectionmate, Whoa Look at These Rocks, Sludgin' Down the Street, Jabba the What, and Making Your Lawn Hard. *** Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you want Snuggle to back his concrete mixer up in YOUR backyard tomorrow. 

Hi, you. It's a Wednesday. Are you doin' it? I bet you are. Thanks for doin' it. This week, we're predicting next year's Oscar winners. I think we figured it out. Get a head start. Place those bets. Do people bet on the Oscars? I'm gonna Google it. Topics include: Children Time, Home of Riddles, Duck of Dreams, Oscar Nominated Assholes, Kissing is the Beginning of Friendship, Patron with Sins, That's the White Lady I Said, Who Let the Dogs Out, No Offense Tanner, Screams at History, It's No Matthew, Kicking the Future, and Zach Braff's New Vibe. *** Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you want to hear the cut of this episode that includes us acting out each of these movies in their entirety with full soundtracks. 

Topics include: It's Roll Call, Larry the Churchy Guy, The Cool Guy Awards, Check Out This Butt, As Many Goblins As I Desire, Beff Jezos, and Haley Joel Osment.

The Good. The Bad. The Answer. Everything, as we all know, is a double-edged sword. And here we are, dissecting even more truths about the world so that you can be smarter. Listen to this episode, be smarter, and make good decisions because you're smarter. That's how this show works. We don't make the rules, we just make you smarter. Topics include: Doodie Houser, Spencer's Gifts is My Permanent Address, Santa's Really Sorry, Maybe Bear Great, Was Your Kid a Murderer, Naughty People Don't Deserve to Die, Bee-DSM, Money's Good, Santa's a Poisoner, and Aragorn's Face. *** Come chat with us, and other neat fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you want to hear the secret answer to the March WYR Madness. 

Friends.  We've made it. We put all your beautiful, horrible would-you-rathers through the ringer, and are breaching the hypothetical ocean like a super cool whale, holding in between our huge flippers the Ultimate Would-You-Rather Question.  Sleepovers will never be the same. Topics include: Eating That Burger, The Centipede from James and the Giant Peach, Secret Fifth Element Cosplay, Tiger's Eye, Night Monster, I'll Eat a Leaf If I'm Gonna Die, It Would Be Very Disruptive to My Life, You Ran Over a Wizard with Your Car, John Bliss is the Ultimate Person, The Movie Limitless, I'm Gonna Replace Your Blood with Bugs, Poppin' a Squat, and Oh He's Unzipping. *** Come chat with us, and other fans, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you'd like to listen to the episodes again but have the play button be GREEN.

You're halfway through the week. And we're more than halfway through this March Madness, WYR-style. We know so many things, we've answered so many questions, and we're so close to the ultimate truth. Come. Come see.  Topics include: Dog Been Corned, Posters of Michael Jordan, Pretty Open Sprinkle-Wise, Tanner's Bedtime, The Monster Inside of All of Us, She Hates Rats, I Got the Winning Point, Let's Talk About Tails, That Porta-Potty. *** Come fill out the forms for the FINAL round of WYR madness in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you think a prehensile tail would just be baseline helpful.

We're gettin' into the Weird Stuff. I mean, beyond the normal level. This is where the true clashes occur. The mashing of answers into horrible, terrifying, unanswerable chimeras. Topics include: 25 or 6 to 4, Aaron Carter Drank a Beer Once and I Got Drunk at School, Full of the Magic Finger, I Want to Shoot Guns Down Holes, I Can Move On From That, You Guys Are Good at Knowing What's Cute, My Favorite News Network, The Interesting One at Family Reunions, What I Know Will Surprise You, A Hippo in a Man's World, and You Care Little For the Moon. *** Come fill out the forms for the last two rounds of WYR madness in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you understand the point of feet. 

Aah! The other side of the bracket! We're coming at you with eight more listener-submitted would-you-rathers and good dang these are spicy and quick. I hope you filled out your bracket, AND I hope you voted correctly! Topics include: Just a Little Jock that Needed to Jam, There's My Boy Lookin' Tasty, I Feel Like I Am a Monster, the God of Grapefruits, The Girl Who Cried Paup, Buffet or Lose It, and Are You Afraid of Colors? *** Come fill out the forms for the next couple rounds of WYR madness in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you think that you've got a better way to pronounced "poop" than Emily's Child.

Not all questions have answers. Here at the Hypotheticast, we are rocked to our core by this existential truth every single day. And sometimes, we even muster the courage, the strength, the fortitude, to REVEL in such truths.  Today, we begin our quest to find the ULTIMATE would-you-rather. We're going to. And we're going to do it in a way that doesn't make any dang sense.  Topics include: Please Do Not Fuck Up My Parents Shit, Burp In My Ear Every Day for the Rest of My Life, Not a Lot of Holes and Orifices, You Can Gallop Like a Horse, That One Was a Journey and It Was Only Four Words, Stop 9/11, and Snort Snort. *** Come fill out the forms for the next couple rounds of WYR madness in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you're wondering what exactly a giant hedgehog would look like. We don't have any idea either, but like, maybe someone else on Spotify knows.

It's time for a new game, you dogs. And this one is ABOUT dogs, so like, that's fun, because I said dogs in the first sentence too. What a pleasure these show notes are to read. Do you like them? Today, we're playing Hero Dog Saves Town, an RPG from Alex Roberts. It's a blast. Come see. Topics include:

Wednesday? Hm. I guess. Last I checked, it was like, Sunday. But ok. If you say so. This episode of our beautiful lil' show is a throwback to a simpler time. A saltier time. A meatier time.  Topics include: Sell the Heart, George Clooney, Me Personally, Make It Hard, Do All Mummies Get Skinny, The Bones Kind, It's a Beautiful Walrus, They're Posting YouTubes and Instagrams. *** Come haaaang with us, and other fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP.  iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you can tell us how many houseboats have ever caught on fire, because it's probably NOT THAT MANY.

Red. Flags. You've got 'em. I've got 'em. We've all got 'em. And this week, we're making up hypothetical people that've got 'em. It's a game! Wow! Play it with us, by listening.  Topics include: There's No Bigger Red Flag Than Someone Thinking I'm Not Funny, It's Gonna Be Bad for You, Portalie Natman, This Person Will Go Back in Time and Kill Hitler, Emily Deserves a Date, Actually I Have a Headache, I Don't Like Someone Hurting Me, and Pillowhead. *** Come haaaang with us, and other fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP.  iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you can think of a store that has a more shopliftable vibe than Cub Foods. 

Hi! You! I'm so glad you're here. You know why? Because you rule. You're enough. I love what you're up to. Today, we're playing Adultz Bop, which is a game where we guess how Kidz Bop tried to make the world safer (re: sanitized) for kids, and then try our best to make the world safer (re: more exciting) for adults. Who knows if we succeed, or even what success is!  Topics include:

We're playing Dark Stories, and boy, are these some stories. 

January 20th. Something has occurred. Something has been expelled. Something has been . . . pooped out from the butthole of America. What's that? Oh, it's just this episode of the Hypotheticast.  Topics include: Fully Watching a Movie, We Are All Sausage Gods, I Haven't Seen Him Lately Is He Dead, You Can't Teach About People That You're Dating, A Mike With Some Movie-Themed T-Shirts, Short Times, What's Up Baby Jesus, and Break Up with a Carrot Top. *** Come haaaang with us, and other fans, in our FACEBOOK GROUP.  iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you can think of a person that you want to be around LESS than Barry Manilow. 

And now, it's time to look FORWARD with a rousing round of The Good, The Bad, and The Answer. We're talkin' about what we could accomplish, what sort of bodyswaps we want to see, how dainty we want clothes to look, and so many more 2021 dreams. Topics include: Nasty in a Good Way, Buns Respond to Threats, Some Secrets are Better Left Buried, If You See Something Don't You Dare Say Something, Monster Train, Neck Stuff, Bring Me More Schoolboy Shit, French Plunge, Presidential Bodyswaps, and Joe Bitin'. *** Come haaaang with us, and other fans, in our FACEBOOK GROUP.  iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you can think of a better name for buttcheeks than Mini Muffins.