Strangers on the Internet

As the Wall Street Journal and other sources have discussed recently, more and more women in the United States are stopping their search for a man to marry. Why is this happening? Irina and Michelle discuss what the average woman feels like she is (and isn't) getting in heterosexual marriage today, including in this economy. The Dating Professors analyze what happens when women are the higher earners, how young women now view marriage, as well as how children affect the labor dynamic in couples and why expectations often don't end up meeting reality. Pull up a chair and join the conversation!WSJ article on why women are giving up on marriage Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this special episode, Irina and Michelle speak with Portland-based creator Mike Schneider whose balloon art and other works have gone viral. Now with over 800K Instagram followers and a full-time career as an artist inspiring, delighting, and sometimes provoking with quotations displayed in balloon letters on colorful walls or in other formats, Mike shares his thoughts. He talks all things dating, grief, mental health, politics, creative process, and books (the second of which will be published shortly!). Come join us for a heartening conversation with one of social media's top art darlings! Mike Schneider's IGMike's websiteMike's first bookMike's second book"Boxed-Wine Boyfriend" Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Irina and Michelle host trauma expert and NYC-based therapist Dr. Karen Dwyer-Tesoriero on this episode. She explains what distinguishes complex post-traumatic stress disorder (c-PTSD) from other types of trauma and how it may express itself in romantic and other relationships. How do people with c-PTSD become activated, and how can they settle down and practice self-care? What happens when both partners in a relationship have c-PTSD? For a conversation about these questions and much more, tune in!Karen A. Dwyer-Tesoriero's websiteKaren's self-care guide Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How can you stop yourself and conversations from blowing up? In this episode, Irina and Michelle talk about bringing down the temperature, especially when it comes to conflict within romantic relationships. The Dating Professors discuss how to use breaks effectively in arguments, muddle through if a break is infeasible, and distinguish between expecting respect and tone policing. Let's talk about creating peace and accountability! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A month into the new presidency, many couples are facing existential questions. Perhaps one person lost their federal job, or the couple disagrees on just how unsafe the country has gotten. We discuss how to handle questions such as whether to leave the United States, especially if both people in the couple are not on the same page. Irina and Michelle also go over how to try and maintain balance in an imbalanced world, and how to handle people who either cause national misery or at least downplay its existence. Amanda Ripley's book "High Conflict" Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How do workplaces support or undermine people's personal lives, and especially romantic relationships and family lives? What happens when toxicity in the form of poor pay or other bad treatment affects workers' wellbeing even once home? Irina and Michelle discuss the difficulties of workplaces regarding benefits and flexibility, and who all loses out in the end. Come join the conversation about life-work balance! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It is a tale as old as time: someone enters into a romantic relationship, and they let their friendships drift away or even suddenly cut them off. Irina and Michelle discuss why this keeps happening to people and what to do about it. What are reasonable expectations regarding one's own friendships and those of one's partner? What roles do jealousy, narcissism, and co-dependence play in making demands in this area? Join the chat as the Dating Professors share their experiences and explore how to make it all work! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A lot of women are angry today. As the United States inaugurates Trump as president (again), women feel like equality is slipping away in the personal, professional, and political arenas. Why is female anger so reviled and denied? Come hear how Michelle and Irina have dealt with men commenting on their clothes and eating habits, plus what they think underlies statements about women needing to calm down or being hormonal. They also discuss why old-fashioned value systems have not necessarily helped men thrive and why psychologists often refer to anger as a secondary emotion. Come listen to an explosive conversation!SOTI ep. 71: Return Interview with VulgaDrawings Cartoonist Lily O'FarrellSOTI ep. 35: Evolving out of the Man Box with John SchinnererDr. Nicole LePera (The Holistic Psychologist) on anger Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Viral cartoonist and writer of VulgaDrawings fame Lily O'Farrell returns to kick off our fourth season of the podcast! With Irina and Michelle, she dissects the international political landscape in the aftermath of the 2024 U.S. presidential election. Where do Europe versus the United States stand on women's rights? What has been the response to the story of Gisele Pelicot, whose husband enabled her being sexually assaulted by dozens of men? We discuss all that, the South Korean 4B movement, the Taliban's prohibition on windows in spaces containing women, and much more in this explosive start to 2025 - come and join the conversation!Lily O'Farrell websiteLily's IG: @vulgadrawingsLily's book “Kyle Theory”Lily-illustrated book “I Love Romcoms and I am a Feminist”Lily's cartoon “Wifey Material Complex”Lily's cartoon on 10 years of dating appsThe “not all men” IG controversyDeepfake porn UK legislation petitionThe Gisele Pelicot storyGerman investigation on 70K men in Telegram rape chatPost-election U.S. interest in South Korean 4B movementTaliban ban on windows for women Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On the day before the U.S. presidential election of 2024, Irina and Michelle examine the impact of this event on relationships. First and foremost, what happens if two romantic partners disagree on their choice of presidential candidate? The Dating Professors also discuss questions such as what if a partner neglects household duties to engage in political news consumption or wants to put up a political sign that may raise safety issues. This episode takes on election anxiety and disappointment during one of the most charged times in American history. Join the conversation! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, Irina and Michelle dissect the new Netflix hit show "Nobody Wants This," a tale of a non-religious woman who falls in love with a rabbi and of the mayhem that ensues. The Dating Professors then go on to discuss interfaith dating generally. What are the things to watch out for? In what ways are religious beliefs likely to affect romantic relationships and child-rearing much beyond debates over what services to attend or holidays to celebrate? Hypothetically, would Michelle and Irina date much outside their beliefs again (and why does only one of them say yes to that)? Come listen to two products of interfaith marriage share their views!Warning: the episode contains spoilers about "Nobody Wants This"!Time Magazine article critiquing the depiction of Jewish women in “Nobody Wants This” Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Irina speaks with dispute resolution specialist Steven Wolhandler, who uses his dual background in law and psychology to help people handle emotional predators. The author of "Protecting Yourself from Emotional Predators: Neutralize the Users, Abusers, and Manipulators Hidden Among Us," Steven dispenses practical advice on how to recognize, avoid, and if need be defuse personality-disordered individuals at work and in the private sphere. Whether you have to raise a child with an emotional predator or are trying not to date such individuals in the first place, this episode will guide you through recognizing destructive pathologies and throwing off predators so they can no longer rule your life. You are not going to want to miss the info in this episode!SOTI ep. 63 "Fighting Coercive Controllers with Dr. Christine Cocchiola and Amy Polacko"SOTI ep. 67 "Recovering from Narcissists with Justena Kavanagh"Steven Wolhandler's websiteSteven's book Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, Irina speaks with psychologist Justena Kavanagh who specializes in helping people to overcome coercive control and other narcissistic abuse. Justena talks about the different insidious forms that narcissism can take, including relational narcissism. She explains why these behavior types are so difficult to uncover and combat. Justena and Irina discuss what people need to understand about narcissists and their victims, and how both therapists and legal professionals need to catch up in their conceptions. As someone who has treated both narcissists and those they have hurt, Justena provides a unique perspective on this major societal problem. Take the time to learn about what may affect you or someone you love! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Irina's special guest on this episode is no other than her husband (and "Strangers on the Internet" sound editor) Carlos Farini. They discuss the beginning of their relationship, from Bumble to exclusivity in three dates. Carlos also explains what he would say to men who do not value relationships and/or do not wish to date smart women. Come find out how things almost fell apart after their second meeting due to the vagaries of NYC dating, and why you should resist the temptation of the paradox of choice! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Irina discusses all things interracial dating with Prof. Solangel Maldonado of the Seton Hall University School of Law. Solangel introduces listeners to her new book "The Architecture of Desire: How the Law Shapes Interracial Intimacy and Perpetuates Inequality." How have not only anti-miscegenation laws but also laws related to property and other matters, including zoning-related regulations, led to lower levels of interracial coupling to this day? Have racial filters on dating apps exacerbated the state of things? And how can we have conversations with individuals about their dating preferences without their getting defensive? For all that and more, tune in!Solangel Maldonado's faculty profileSolangel's book “The Architecture of Desire: How the Law Shapes Interracial Intimacy and Perpetuates Inequality” Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Rebecca Davis, the Miller Family Early Career professor at the University of Delaware, recently completed the first major account of the history of sex and sexuality in America in three decades. She talks with Irina and Michelle about her new book "Fierce Desires," which complicates our understanding of how issues such as gender identity and sexual orientation have evolved between the early colonial period and today. From the societal treatment of nonconforming individuals to recent Supreme Court decisions on reproductive choice and to the upcoming presidential election, Rebecca covers it all in this fascinating episode filled with surprising historical twists and turns!Rebecca Davis's faculty profileRebecca's book "Fierce Desires"Rebecca's podcast "This Is Probably a Really Weird Question..." Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, Irina speaks with clinician Dr. Christine Cocchiola and divorce coach Amy Polacko about their new book "Framed: Women in the Family Court Underworld." These coauthors describe the devastating consequences that many women experience when they try to leave their abusers and to protect their children during and after divorce. The podcast guests explain how courts often let coercive controllers run loose and what victims can do to stand up to physical, emotional, financial, legal, and other forms of abuse. The conversation delves into both the need for education on coercive control and legislative change to address its consequences worldwide. Please join our discussion for your own sake and that of loved ones who are current or potential victims! SOTI ep. 17 “How to Survive Divorce and Break-ups with Amy Polacko”Pre-ordering info for "Framed: Women in the Family Court Underworld" bookFacebook book launch groupDr. Christine Cocchiola's websiteAmy Polacko's websiteJoan S. Meyer (GW Law) & Sean Dickson's study "Mapping Gender: Shedding Empirical Light on Family Courts' Treatment of Cases Involving Abuse and Alienation"Amy Polacko's Newsweek article "My Ex-Husband Won't Let Me Vaccinate Our Son"Amy Polacko's Ms. Magazine article "Lawyers Say Catherine Kassenoff's Case--and Thousands of Others--Violate U.S. Constitutional Right to Due Process" Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the fifth part of this coverage of the sexual misconduct allegations against ex-George Mason University (GMU) law professor and former FTC Commissioner Joshua Wright, Irina invites back Dilan Esper, an experienced litigator in areas that include defamation law and the First Amendment. Together, they analyze the most recent legal developments in two lawsuits that Josh has launched. The first is his defamation lawsuit against two of the women who accused Josh of misconduct--Elyse Dorsey and Angela Landry--where the judge allowed the lawsuit to proceed past a successful motion to dismiss after Josh amended his complaint. The second is a sex discrimination lawsuit where Josh is suing his former employer GMU for the way it handled his complaint, arguing that the university prematurely sided with his alleged victims because he is a man. Dilan explains to listeners why he thinks that Josh's legal actions will neither succeed in court nor help to restore his reputation, and why some of Josh's painting himself as a victim of the #metoo movement in legal filings may be motivated by his hoping to get future benefits from fellow Title IX critics. Dilan also discusses the use of defamation lawsuits generally in responding to sexual allegations, including based on his experience representing one of Bill Cosby's victims. SOTI ep. 39 with Prof. Christa LaserSOTI ep. 40 with Prof. Brandy WagstaffSOTI ep. 41 with Aliza ShatzmanSOTI ep. 42 with Dilan EsperDilan Esper's profileDilan's TwitterWall Street Journal coverage part 1Wall Street Journal coverage part 2Wall Street Journal coverage part 3Note: According to a statement printed in the media by Lindsay McKasson, counsel to Joshua Wright at Binall Law Group "all allegations of sexual misconduct are false," "These false allegations are being made public after unsuccessfully demanding millions of dollars behind closed doors," and "We look forward to total vindication in court." According to a tweet by Christa Laser, "I don't appreciate that his attorney falsely suggests we are all lying (1/2 was in writing!) & want $ (this is a lie–I only want him gone)." Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What are the neurobiological underpinnings of relationships? Irina and Michelle delve into that question and its implications with St. Louis University professor and director of SLU's relationships and brain sciences research laboratory Dr. Dixie Meyer. She explains how couples co-regulate their emotions and what can go awry in the process, whether the phrase "happy wife, happy life" has empirical backing, and how the pandemic has affected romantic relationships and women's societal roles. Come nerd out with your favorite hosts and another awesome guest!Dixie Meyer's profileDixie's researchDixie's NPR interview Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One of the chief complaints of dating app users (and especially straight women) is that commitment phobia abounds in those they meet. Can people with commitment phobia ever change? And if so, can they ever be nudged into such change? What happens when someone commits out of fear of losing the other person? Irina and Michelle discuss all that and more on this episode, so listen up! Show notesbell hooks's book "All About Love: New Visions" Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, Arkansas State University philosophy professor Michele Merritt joins us from Tennessee with her engineer husband Paul Hiebing. The couple discusses meeting online and navigating life from dating in Florida to getting married, moving states twice, and adding both kids and pets. How have they weathered mental health challenges, including ones resulting from Michele being adopted and reconnecting with her biological relatives? The couple opens up about depression, suicidality, emotional labor, and the integration of their busy lives. Come check it out!Michele Merritt's websiteMichele's faculty profileMichele's "Minding Dogs" book Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

According to recent data and media reports, Gen Z has some enthusiasm for dating in the workplace. Is that a good idea, however? Irina and Michelle dissect the pros and cons of finding a significant other at work. What happens if things fall apart and people have to keep collaborating after a break-up? And how might scenarios play out if there is an uneven power dynamic between the individuals involved? The Dating Professors take a look at the issues involved from regular dating situations to extramarital affairs. You won't believe what happened when Michelle worked at Blockbuster Video and later during her psychology practicum! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, Irina and Michelle chat with psychotherapist and sex addiction specialist D.J. Burr. In recovery from sex addiction himself, D.J. explains the condition and the path toward improvement. He discusses how trauma connects to addiction, how dating apps cause special problems for those with addiction, and why he thinks porn can never be used in healthy ways. D.J. also describes the therapy process involved in recovery and the importance of addressing the issue of shame. Check out this episode filled with information and vulnerability.D.J. Burr's websiteD.J.'s LinktreeD.J.'s "I Just Wanted Love" book (free chapter here) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Opposites attract," the old adage goes. Is that really true, however? Irina and Michelle delve into the ways that disparities are a drawback versus advantage in relationships. What are some of the Dating Professors' personal habits and preferences that they think would cause conflict if a mate was diametrically different? Come listen to an exploration of the role of athletic commitment, love of or distaste for going out, and the clash between early birds and night owls. Plus don't forget to check out our "Strangers on the Internet" Facebook page for a bonus relationship exercise mentioned in the episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, Irina and Michelle talk to German visual artist Sebastian, whom Irina met on a long train ride in Europe over a decade ago. He is a photographer, comic artist, graphic designer, illustrator, silk-screen printer, painter, and musician who has lived as a digital nomad for some time. From photographing Iggy Pop to having his work appear in the New York Times, and from living in Germany to England, Brazil, the United States, and Japan, Sebastian has seen it all. He opens up about why he finds dating difficult and how he does not want to use a partner as a crutch. The blank canvas awaits, and we discuss the kinds of women or men that Sebastian would like to invite into the story. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When and how should you intervene in loved ones' romantic relationships? The Dating Professors address the issue in this episode. Irina and Michelle talk about the things that make them uncomfortable to watch in other couples, and discuss various attempts to help. How did Michelle react when a friend butted in as she was preparing to enter a real estate arrangement with a romantic partner? And would some people really rather cut off a BFF than hear hard truths? All that and more in this podcast conversation! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Cassie, a NYC professional in her 40s, did not see her live-in partner's cheating coming. She tells Irina and Michelle about the way her 49-year-old boyfriend--whom she met in a physical therapist's office at the start of the pandemic--betrayed Cassie with a 27-year-old mutual friend! Find out how Cassie's dog played a key role in sniffing out the situation. Cassie also talks about how she is rebuilding her life with the support of her family and friends, and dipping her toes back into the pool of the dating apps. You will not want to miss this inspiring story of overcoming heartbreak and discovering a path to freedom and happiness! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is there hope for finding love late in life, including after being widowed or divorced? The Dating Professors explore in this episode the stereotypes and true challenges--but also advantages--of looking for a match in one's later years. Irina and Michelle discuss the higher degree of self-knowledge present in one's senior years, the complications that might arise from relatives unhappy about one's new dating endeavors, and much more. Pull up a (rocking?) chair for this episode about golden times!ABC's "The Golden Bachelor"New York Times article "Dating After 60: A Lot of Roses, Some Thorns" Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Season 3 begins with the feel-good tale of how Rutgers emergency physician Dr. Aislinn Black and Cornell information law scholar Prof. James Grimmelmann met in the early days of social media. Learn how 19th century Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard played a key role in their connecting and how Aislinn initially tried to matchmake James with a friend of hers. Irina and Michelle accompany the couple from their early days of zipping up and down the East Coast (so they could hang out) to their decision to commit after bumping into a Belgian medieval pageant. Aislinn and James discuss why the era of long emails and AOL Instant Messenger worked especially well for their romance and how their marriage and parenting defy gender stereotypes. Last but not least, James shares his thoughts on the steps that would lead to greater Internet safety. Come start the year right with a podcast episode that will bring a smile to your face!Dr. Aislinn Black's professional profileDr. James Grimmelmann's professional profile Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Irina and Michelle guide listeners through a retrospective of the "Strangers on the Internet" podcast on the occasion of the show's 50th episode. What lessons have the Dating Professors learned from their guests and conversations? Our hosts discuss societal loneliness and disconnection, the state of the dating apps, and the key traits and situations to avoid while dating. They also explore the ways that communities can support both single and coupled people in today's world. Come celebrate this big milestone and final episode of season 2 with us! Time article on AI assistance in dating and matchmakingResearch study on gender differences in response to dating profiles Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Award-winning screenwriter and author L.L. Kirchner takes Irina and Michelle through the whirlwind of her life in this episode you will not want to miss. While living in Qatar, L.L. received a phone call from her husband announcing that he wanted a divorce. Afraid that she would spiral back into substance addiction, L.L. promptly decided to take a spiritual journey to India where she quit smoking cigarettes as soon as she landed and threw herself into yoga and meditation, even visiting a sex cult at one point. L.L. tells it all, from the start of her eventually babysitting-funded alcoholism that started at age ten (later on adding other drugs) to the dating column and matchmaking experiment she ran for an alternative newspaper. After some online dating adventures of her own in NYC, did she really end up finding love with Florida Man?? Come find out!L.L. Kirchner's websiteL.L's InstagramL.L.'s book "Blissful Thinking: A Memoir of Overcoming the Wellness Revolution"L.L's book "American Lady Creature: (My) Change in the Middle East"SOTI ep. 46: Dating While Sober with Felicia HermleSOTI ep. 43: Exclusive Interview with Comedian Allison Goldberg Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, Irina and Michelle interview marketing consultant Serise Lange, who moderates the popular Facebook group Women's Personal Finance. How do finances impact dating, and how do we figure out who should pay for what? What does Serise think about folks who send out a Venmo request after a date did not go as desired? And what exactly are "hobosexuals"? We learn from Serise's wisdom not only about money but also emotional wellbeing generally!Serise Lange's TwitterWomen's Personal Finance website Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why is being single so frustrating sometimes? Irina and Michelle explore both the emotional and practical side of single life. In addition to dealing with feelings of loneliness, single people--and frequently especially single women--face tasks that are difficult or even impossible to accomplish on one's own. Michelle talks about the lawn mower she physically couldn't start while single without her (male) neighbor's help, while Irina discusses the challenges of building furniture that requires two people. The Dating Professors analyze how to overcome some of these obstacles and how community members can best support each other with life's small and large complexities regardless of relationship status."Handy Women" Facebook group"Day to Day Tasks and Life Explained Step By Step And Advice" Facebook group"Dad, How Do I?" YouTube channel Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Historically, dating has been deeply entwined with going out for a drink. But what happens if one of the two dating parties has opted for a life of sobriety? And what are the pros and cons of replacing substance use with romance, or what is the effect of infatuation on the brain? Irina and Michelle discuss with California-based social worker and addiction specialist Felicia Hermle how to handle recovery from substance use in the dating context, and how partners can show their support. Felicia talks science, introspection, and empathy on this important episode.Felicia Hermle's websiteFelicia's podcast "Sobriety Checkpoint"Sarah Michaud's book "Co-Crazy: One Psychologist's Recovery from Codependency and Addiction: A Memoir and Roadmap to Freedom" Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

While a cute pet picture can attract someone to your dating profile, pets can also be a major hindrance in romance. What happens when a significant other's pet prevents spontaneous travel or acts up jealously when someone comes over? What are reasonable expectations for how pet owners and non-owners should adapt to each other in relationships? Irina and Michelle--both long-time pet owners--break down the possible challenges that even a well-behaved Fido or Garfield might bring to the dating game! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Irina and Michelle sit down with sexual abuse and online harassment expert Prof. Mary Anne Franks from the George Washington University Law School to take stock of the state of Internet safety (or lack thereof) today. Mary Anne explains why "revenge porn" is generally a misnomer, why women are particularly at risk in a variety of online settings, and what has made it so difficult to pass federal legislation to protect individuals from having naked images of themselves distributed nonconsensually. The law professor and Krav Maga instructor also discusses what readers will find in her forthcoming second book "Fearless Speech," why only criminalization is likely to incentivize potential online abusers to stay put, and what encourages her to continue advocating for women's rights in the face of death threats. Join us for a conversation about both individual safety measures and the broader structural changes needed to prevent further victimization! Prof. Mary Anne Franks' faculty profileMary Anne's TwitterCyber Civil Rights Initiative websiteMary Anne's first book, "The Cult of the Constitution" Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Comedian Allison (Alli) Goldberg is on a mission to make dating fun again. Once named one of the top 10 funniest women in NYC by Time Out NY, the now-Los Angeles based performer delights her public both on the stage and on the air. A friend of previous SOTI podcast guest Talia Lerner, Alli tells Irina and Michelle why dating provides such fertile material for her work from her matchmaking live comedy show "Love Isn't Blind" to her "How to Break up by Text" performances (the latter will soon be released as an audio show with celebrities reading the texts out loud and experts analyzing them!). Come hear how Alli's worst online date ever was with a fellow Yalie who was in the middle of convincing his former lover to have an abortion, why it's tricky to find the right male contestants for her matchmaking show, and what her philosophy is to overcome fears about any creative endeavor. Allison Goldberg's profileAlli's IGAlli's TikTok "Love Isn't Blind" show"How to Break up by Text" showAlli's podcast "2 Girls, 1 Podcast"Related SOTI episodes:SOTI ep. 21: Second Marriage in the Second City with Prof. Talia Lerner and Phillip NightingaleSOTI ep. 18 & ep. 19: Exclusive Interview with Bestselling Author Nancy Jo Sales (Part 1 & Part 2)SOTI ep. 35: Evolving out of the Man Box with Dr. John Schinnerer Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the fourth part of this coverage of the sexual misconduct allegations against ex-George Mason University law professor and former FTC Commissioner Joshua Wright, Irina has a conversation with Dilan Esper, an experienced litigator in areas that include defamation law and the First Amendment. Dilan walks listeners through Josh's highly unusual defamation legal complaint against two of the women who accused Josh of misconduct, Elyse Dorsey and Angela Landry. Irina and Dilan focus on some of the most controversial parts of this legal document, and Dilan explains how Josh likely fails to meet the standard to get past a defendant motion to dismiss. Dilan also shows why things will probably get even worse for Josh if he does make it past such a motion, quite possibly resulting in more damaging materials and testimony appearing during the discovery process. Come find out why Dilan says that despite reading thousands of complaints in his career, Josh's complaint is unmatched in the extent to which it opens a window into a man's dark soul.SOTI ep. 39 with Prof. Christa LaserSOTI ep. 40 with Prof. Brandy WagstaffSOTI ep. 41 with Aliza ShatzmanDilan Esper's profileDilan's TwitterJoshua Wright's defamation lawsuit against Elyse Dorsey and Angela Landry (redacted by Christa Laser)Bloomberg coverageGlobal Competition Review article about GMU's reaction to the allegationsNote: According to a statement printed in the media by Lindsay McKasson, counsel to Joshua Wright at Binall Law Group "all allegations of sexual misconduct are false," "These false allegations are being made public after unsuccessfully demanding millions of dollars behind closed doors," and "We look forward to total vindication in court." According to a tweet by Prof. Christa Laser, "I don't appreciate that his attorney falsely suggests we are all lying (1/2 was in writing!) & want $ (this is a lie–I only want him gone)." Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the third part of this coverage of the sexual misconduct allegations against ex-George Mason University law professor and former FTC Commissioner Joshua Wright, Irina speaks with a victim of judicial harassment and retaliation, attorney and activist Aliza Shatzman who founded the Legal Accountability Project. After graduating from the Washington University School of Law in 2019, Aliza began clerking for a judge in the Superior Court of the District of Columbia. After subjecting her to harassment and sex discrimination, the judge fired her and then went on to derail her legal career by providing false statements during her final reference check for a prestigious position as a federal prosecutor in such a manner that she lost the position. Irina and Aliza discuss how little has changed in the twenty years between when Irina started law school--a time of shady "open secrets" at her own alma mater and in the judiciary--and today. They talk about the roots of the culture of silence and its reinforcement via tools such as defamation lawsuits, like potentially the one currently faced by two of Josh Wright's alleged victims, and what true change and principled allyship look like.SOTI ep. 39 with Prof. Christa LaserSOTI ep. 40 with Prof. Brandy WagstaffAliza Shatzman's profile Aliza Shatzman's TwitterThe Legal Accountability Project (LAP) websiteDaily Mail article about the allegations against Joshua WrightGlobal Competition Review article about GMU's reaction to the allegationsNote: According to a statement printed in the media by Lindsay McKasson, counsel to Joshua Wright at Binall Law Group "all allegations of sexual misconduct are false," "These false allegations are being made public after unsuccessfully demanding millions of dollars behind closed doors," and "We look forward to total vindication in court." According to a tweet by Prof. Christa Laser, "I don't appreciate that his attorney falsely suggests we are all lying (1/2 was in writing!) & want $ (this is a lie–I only want him gone)."Joshua Wright's defamation lawsuit against Elyse Dorsey and Angela Landry (redacted by Christa Laser) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Following up on our last episode in which Prof. Christa Laser discussed her sexual misconduct allegations against ex-George Mason University law professor and former FTC Commissioner Joshua Wright, a second alleged victim of his speaks out in full for the first time. GMU adjunct professor Brandy Wagstaff opens up in this exclusive interview about her alleged sexual relationship with Josh during her time as his student and research assistant. She also narrates the allegations made against Josh to her by her students over the years and her efforts to motivate the law school to act. Irina and Brandy discuss the culture of GMU Law and the reforms that Brandy would like to see. Furthermore, Brandy responds to Josh's defamation lawsuit against two other alleged victims that became public shortly before recording, and she explains her own decision to come forward despite the possible risks. SOTI ep. 39 with Prof. Christa LaserProf. Brandy Wagstaff's faculty profileBrandy's TwitterDaily Mail article about the allegations against Joshua WrightGlobal Competition Review article about GMU's reaction to the allegationsNote: According to a statement printed in the media by Lindsay McKasson, counsel to Joshua Wright at Binall Law Group "all allegations of sexual misconduct are false," "These false allegations are being made public after unsuccessfully demanding millions of dollars behind closed doors," and "We look forward to total vindication in court." According to a tweet by Prof. Christa Laser, "I don't appreciate that his attorney falsely suggests we are all lying (1/2 was in writing!) & want $ (this is a lie–I only want him gone)."Joshua Wright's defamation lawsuit against Elyse Dorsey and Angela Landry (redacted by Christa Laser) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this Breaking News episode, Irina interviews patent law scholar Prof. Christa Laser about her sexual harassment allegations against just-departed George Mason University antitrust law professor and former FTC Commissioner Joshua Wright. In a tweet (accompanied by a screenshotted email) viewed by hundreds of thousands of people, Christa described how Josh asked her out on a date while GMU hiring chair when he knew that she was desperate to remain in the DC area to maintain custody of her two children. Christa's tweet prompted multiple former students and employees of Josh's to come out publicly with allegations of his having (successfully) pressured them into inappropriate sexual relationships when he held their careers in his hands. Christa and Irina discuss the possible professional repercussions against female "troublemakers" who call out rule- and law-breaking at their institutions. They analyze how and why legal academia breeds predatory and discriminatory behavior, how allies can help, and what reform might look like in light of this #metoo moment.Christa's original tweet making allegations against Joshua WrightChrista's tweet of GMU's response to the allegations by her and several other womenDaily Mail article about the allegations against Joshua WrightGlobal Competition Review article about GMU's reaction to the allegationsNote: According to a statement printed in the media by Lindsay McKasson, counsel to Joshua Wright at Binall Law Group "all allegations of sexual misconduct are false," "These false allegations are being made public after unsuccessfully demanding millions of dollars behind closed doors," and "We look forward to total vindication in court." According to a tweet by Christa, "I don't appreciate that his attorney falsely suggests we are all lying (1/2 was in writing!) & want $ (this is a lie–I only want him gone)." Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match! Irina and Michelle delve into whether it's wise to matchmake your friends and how to minimize the risks to your own friendships if you're going to do it. How do you choose whom to match? Should you remain involved after the initial introduction? The Dating Professors dish about how they themselves have been matchmade (but both only sort of) and what would make them reluctant to matchmake others. They also discuss the problem of flakiness in people being matchmade and beyond. Join the conversation in our giggliest episode yet!SOTI special episode 34: Exclusive Interview with Jewish Matchmaking Star Stuart Chaseman Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Irina and Michelle catch up with law professor and Internet law scholar Derek Bambauer as he reviews his dating life in Tucson, Arizona before his big move across the country to Gainesville, Florida. Derek talks about his mostly positive experiences meeting people online, his penchant for women in academia, and the challenges of making schedules work when both daters have kids. He also uses his scholarly expertise to discuss dating app algorithms, online safety, and possible tweaks to current technology. Come join us for an episode where the professional is the personal!Prof. Derek Bambauer's faculty profileDerek's Twitter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Internet is abuzz with discussion about allegations by Sarah Brady, a University of Hawai'i law student, that her ex-boyfriend and celebrity Jonah Hill emotionally abused her and dressed up the abuse in therapy language. According to screenshots of text messages she posted publicly, he designated it "boundaries" that she should not post swimsuit pictures of herself on social media, model, surf with men, or interact with female friends of whom he didn't approve, among other things. Irina and Michelle analyze the difference between boundaries and coercive control, the ways in which boundary speak doesn't absolve the speaker of problematic values injected into requests (or demands), and the general current trends in distorting psychological language to serve one's purposes. The Dating Professors also delve into what happens when a partner's mental health or other life circumstances make it difficult for them to give what the other person might actually deserve under optimal conditions. Tune in and join the discourse!Original Bustle piece about whether therapy-speak is making us selfishTranscript of text messages between Sarah Brady and Jonah HillGuardian piece on the history of boundary languagePsychology Today article about coercive control Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, executive and relationship coach Dr. John Schinnerer tells us what we need to know about how men can achieve true emotional growth and meaningful lives. An educational psychologist and expert consultant for the Pixar movie "Inside Out," John first made a name for himself in the area of anger management; he later expanded his work into high performance, stress management, positive psychology, and the creation of happy relationships. John helps men step out of the "man box" that society has created for them and that prevents them for fulfilling their potential as human beings. Why do many men act irritable in romantic relationships but don't want to discuss what's wrong? Is it true that women want long-term relationships more often than men do? Come hear also what lessons John has learned from his own romantic past and what he believes people should look out for on the dating market! John Schinnerer's website John's IGJohn's book “How Can I be Happy?”John's "The Evolved Caveman" podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why do people try to find love on reality TV? Irina and Michelle asked that and many other questions of Stuart Chaseman, the middle-aged Chicagoan musician and entrepreneur who quickly emerged as the fan favorite of the Netflix show "Jewish Matchmaking." While TikToks declared him a male role model to emulate, conservative pundit Ben Shapiro singled him out for only wanting to date women with liberal values. What Stuart has to say to Ben Shapiro, how Stuart experienced his own Beatlemania moment at a Jewish-Greek food festival in NYC, why a girlfriend lied to him for two years about her political views, and much more can be found on this podcast episode--along with a sneak peek at Stuart's latest music album! Stuart Chaseman's website (with links to his new album “Secrets, Lies & Alibis”)Stuart's IGStuart's TikTokChicago Daily Herald article about StuartInsider article about Stuart's rise as a TikTok darling Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode with guest law professor Nancy Marcus from the California Western School of Law, the personal is the political. Nancy tells Irina and Michelle about her own life as an out bisexual and polyamorous person, as well as about about her public writings and advocacy on these topics. While bisexuality has increasingly become more accepted, the same is less true for the various forms of ethical non-monogamy. Nancy discusses how to communicate about difficult issues such as jealousy in poly relationships, but also describes the legal battles that continue to plague the LGBTQIA+ community. Come find out how Nancy has found happiness in unexpected ways and continues fighting for the right of others to do the same!Nancy Marcus academic profileNancy's “Legally Bi” columnNancy's article “Bridging Bisexual Erasure in LGBT-Rights Discourse and Litigation”BiLaw informational page and Facebook groupPolyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition (PLAC)Chosen Family Law CenterAndie Nordgren on Relationship AnarchyKenji Yoshino, “The Epistemic Contract of Bisexual Erasure”SOTI ep. 11 with Nancy's colleague Prof. Erin Sheley (Dating As a Criminal Law Professor) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode provides a special interview with the top 1% podcast (over a million downloads!) "Ex-Wives Undercover: Liars, Cheaters & Love Cons" hosts Amber Rasmussen and Athena Klingerman about how their ex-husband Brandon continued freely harming women and children despite seventeen protective orders in three states against him. After law enforcement in the state of Washington and elsewhere didn't stop him, it is only his eventual near-murderous attack on a woman in California that put him in jail for ten years. Criminal law scholar and Villanova University professor Brenner Fissell provides expert commentary on what went wrong and what the difficulties are in changing the system. Irina and Michelle take you through a journey involving not only criminal matters but also the family court framework and the misunderstanding of conditions such as narcissistic personality disorder. Strap on your seatbelts for a wild ride with TikTok sensations Amber and Athena that covers Brandon's repeat manipulation of police officers and judges, a myriad of falsified documents, and ankle monitor escapes!Amber & Athena's "Ex-Wives Undercover: Liars, Cheaters & Love Cons" websiteBrenner Fissell's faculty profileEx-Wives Undercover YouTube interview with Irina & Michelle on "How to Navigate Online Dating"Sacramento Bee article about "Brandon's last con" by Pulitzer Prize winner Melinda Henneberger (paywalled)Daily Dot article about how Amber & Athena exposed Brandon on TikTokEx-Wives Undercover TikTokSOTI "Special: Exclusive Interview with Tinder Swindler Star Victim Cecilie Fjellhøy" Part 1 and Part 2 (ep. 15 & 16)SOTI "Guest Chat: Catfishing Beyond the Tinder Swindler with Anna Rowe and Jennifer" Part 1 and Part 2 (ep. 5 & 6) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For this episode that will leave you breathless, Irina and Michelle get to speak with NYC-based sociologist Dr. Robin Rogers. She tells the tale of how she escaped her marriage after her then-husband developed severe schizophrenia, became violent, and killed the family pets. Robin not only got through the six-year court fight to maintain sole custody of her two sons but in fact managed to thrive despite it all. Her dating goal became all about having life-affirming fun, whether an interaction would lead to a long-term relationship or not. From a spontaneous trip to a wedding in Brazil to an invitation to attend a presidential inaugural ball, Robin got to enjoy many lovely adventures. In early 2020, her existence was turned upside down when she was involuntarily committed to a terrifying hospital after a family member falsely claimed she had attempted to commit suicide. While her seriously ill ex-husband was never committed at all, Robin was now surrounded by patients who were hitting on her and threatening to rape her. Come find out how she survived even this experience and what life looks like on the other side!Dr. Robin Rogers' websiteRobin's article about her divorce "When He Died"Robin's piece "In Praise of Dating Too Soon and Too Often"Robin's article "It's Easier To Get Locked Up Than You Think"Rosenhan experiment (1973) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dating apps are not the only place where strangers meet on the Internet! On this episode, Irina and Michelle have the chance to host couple Jane-Ashe and Damon who met in a Facebook group tied to a nerdy fandom podcast (Binge Mode). Damon hadn't had much luck with dating apps, while Jane-Ashe got tired enough of people wasting her time that she became a sugar baby to at least be paid for her efforts. In the Facebook group, Jane-Ashe attracted Damon's attention via her "high thoughts" upon first watching Star Wars. They started chatting privately and one visit by Damon--complete with a first date at Potterworld--was enough to convince them that he should move from Louisiana to Florida to live with her. We explore how a lot of people, including neurodivergent folks, feel more comfortable meeting online and what might be the future for dating via online communities. Come meet a quirky couple that found love in the cyber-galaxy despite being far, far away from each other! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Irina and Michelle welcome international sex robots expert Dr. Kate Devlin, who explains the current state of technology and her views on the moral panic surrounding parasocial relationships with robots. Kate believes that most of people's fears about sex robots or AI replacing human relationships are overblown in a world in which even carrying around and finding a place to store a robot (the closet?) are challenges. In the second half of the episode, Kate also shares about her personal life, be it her search for balance with bipolar disorder, her polyamorous and dating app-related experiences, or the loving relationship with her younger (second) husband she found on Twitter. You will not want to miss our conversation with this Northern Irish powerhouse! Dr. Kate Devlin's academic profileKate's book "Turned On" and general websiteKate's first TED talkKate's second TED talk Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.