Podcasts about death of a child

The inaugural winner of Alone Australia on her life as a creative, outrageous, nature-loving misfit who grew up to live through great depths of love and grief. Warning: Discusses the death of a child.In 2023, Gina Chick spent 67 days by herself, in the wilderness of Tasmania's West Coast, surviving on worms, fish, and one unlucky wallaby.After those 67 days, Gina became the first-ever winner of a reality show on SBS called Alone Australia, but her approach to the competition was very different from the other contestants.For Gina, the wild was not an enemy to be overcome but a place with no hierarchy, where she feels completely herself.It's always been that way, since she was a 'weird' little girl with a rare affinity with birds and nature.As an adult, Gina spent years inside Sydney's queer club scene and working for an all-girl security firm, but life changed completely for Gina when she became a mother herself.Further informationIf you need support after listening to this story, please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.Gina's book We are the Stars was published by Simon & Schuster in 2024.The Executive Producer of Conversations is Nicola Harrison.This episode explores motherhood, parenting, reality television, Alone Australia, winner of Alone, hunting, survival, did Gina catch the wallaby? adoption, adoptees, Kiama, South Coast NSW, ADHD, birds, neurodiversity, bad boyfriends, debt, sexually transmitted debt, scent, pheromones, younger men, Oxford Street, survival, nightclubs, podium dancing, synaesthesia, breast cancer.To binge even more great episodes of the 'Conversations podcast' with Richard Fidler and Sarah Kanowski go the ABC listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. There you'll find hundreds of the best thought-provoking interviews with authors, writers, artists, politicians, singers, psychologists, musicians, and celebrities.

(00:00:00) Welcome And Kelly's Light (00:05:30) The Night Everything Changed (00:10:45) Driving Into The Unknown (00:14:55) Coma Faith And A Peaceful Room (00:19:20) Choosing Organ Donation (00:24:00) Meeting The Boy Who Received Kelly's Heart (00:27:55) Rituals That Keep Kelly Close (00:31:40) Hope And Guidance For Grieving Parents A child can change a room with a smile, and Kelly Corbly did that everywhere she went. She was five years old, curly-haired, dog-obsessed, and fearless about loving people others avoided. Then one night, what looked like a bad dream became a medical emergency, and her parents, David and Ann, found themselves racing toward a children's hospital with no clear answers, making choices no parent is ever prepared to make.We walk through the reality of sudden pediatric brain injury, including Kelly's rare arteriovenous malformation (AVM), the terrifying hours around surgery, and the days of waiting as coma turned into brain death testing. David and Anne share what helped them endure: the kindness of nurses, a surprising sense of peace in the ICU room, and a faith experience that felt like comfort arriving at the exact moment it was needed. If you've searched for language around grief, shock, and spiritual questions after child loss, their honesty offers a steady place to land.Kelly's legacy also becomes practical and life-changing through organ donation. With the guidance of an organ donor coordinator, the Corblys choose to donate, and they even meet Joshua, the little boy who receives Kelly's heart and lives six more months because of her. We also talk about long-term bereavement, protecting a marriage after trauma, and the rituals that keep love close, from a celebration of life filled with stuffed puppies to a golden retriever named Kelly's Angel.If Kelly's story moves you, please subscribe, share this episode with someone who may need it, and leave a review so more grieving families can find these conversations.To learn more about Kelly, visit her website: KellyCorbly.orgBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support.

6/8/26 (Co-Host -- Megan Rubiner Zinn) Author Danielle Crittenden on “Dispatches from Grief: A Mother's Journey Through the Unthinkable” – the death of a child. Elizabeth Stordeur Pryor -- Smith History Professor, Richard Pryor's daughter and author of “Something We Said: Richard Pryor, A Notorious Word, and Me.” The Easthampton Override -- the stakes are huge -- with teacher Kelley Brown, police lieutenant Andrew Beaulieu and firefighter and EMT Cody Potasky. Yale Professor of Law and History Samuel Moyn on “Gerontocracy in America: How thew Old Are Hoarding Power and Wealth and What to Do About it.”

This is the All Local 4:00 P.M. update for Friday, June 5th, 2026.

Such An Episode!  On Deck we have Jane Stanford, born Jane Lathrop out of Albany New York, she married her lawyer husband who lost everything in a fire, went west to seek his fortune in the Gold Rush and found it selling supplies to miners and settlers.  When his wife joined him in San Francisco, he had become a railroad baron.  Eventually they had a child and Jane doted on the boy.  We won't tell you more here, but there's a death, a poisoning, a university being founded and not necessarily in that order in this powerful episode of the Family Plot Podcast!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/family-plot--4670465/support.

Calls for calm in Alice Springs following the death of a child; South Korea and Australia agree to strengthen co-operation on energy; The first draw of the 2026 AFL season.

After the death of a child, many grieving parents struggle to understand God's ways. Questions about why tragedy happens and how a loving God could allow such deep loss can shake even a strong faith. In this episode, Laura gently speaks to bereaved parents who are wrestling with these difficult questions, sharing encouragement about trusting God even when His ways don't make sense. Through Scripture and compassionate insight, this episode reminds listeners that faith does not require having all the answers. Many people in the Bible experienced profound suffering, yet discovered God's presence and strength in the middle of it. If you are struggling to trust God after the death of your child, this conversation offers comfort and hope, reminding you that God sees your pain and walks with you through every step of your grief journey. Links Mentioned in this episode: Reflections of Hope: Daily Readings for Bereaved Parents Get your free copy of Rebuilding Your Life: A Gentle Guide Toward Hope and Healing After Child Loss The Bible’s Grieving Parents and Companion Journal To support this podcast and, keep it ad-free, and get exclusive content, visit us on Patreon. Birthdays: We lovingly remember and celebrate the lives of: Matthew Branca was born on March 15 and is forever 23. Rohit Matthew was born on March 16 and is forever 23. Joey Miller was born on March 17 and is forever 48. Daniel Wilson was born on March 21 and is forever 30. Visit gpshope.org/birthdays to submit your child's name and date so we can honor them, too. The special song written for our children's birthdays I Remember Well can be heard here. Remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE! www.gpshope.org To have Laura come and minister at your event, contact us at office@gpshope.org. Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose. It is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgment in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.

What does it look like to cling to God after the death of a child, when the pain feels suffocating, forgiveness feels impossible, and trust feels fragile? In this powerful continuation of Laura's conversation with Linda Dillow, they explore the remaining heart skills that help grieving parents hold on to God and not give up. They talk honestly about lament as worship in a minor key, choosing trust over fear, the ongoing act of forgiveness (even when it must be repeated again and again), finding encouragement in God's presence, and allowing praise to slowly become the language of a surrendered heart. If you are walking through child loss and wondering how to keep going, this episode will gently remind you that you are not expected to “get over” your grief. This is a journey taken one step, one breath at a time. God meets you in the mess, in the anger, in the questions, and invites you to experience His love in a deeper way than head knowledge alone. You may not know what tomorrow holds. But you can learn, even in grief, to trust the One who holds tomorrow. Linda's new book is Hope for my Hurting Heart. She is also the author of several bestselling books, including Calm My Anxious Heart, Satisfy My Thirsty Soul and Intimate Issues. Linda and her husband, Jody, ministered in the former East European Communist countries and in Asia for eighteen years, training the leadership of the church. They have four grown children (one in heaven) and ten amazing grandchildren. Linda loves to encourage women to hope in God and trust in His faithfulness! (Note: The views and opinions of our guests outside of this podcast may not be in agreement with GPS Hope.)  Links Mentioned in this episode: Click here to preorder The Bible's Grieving Parents paperback and Companion Journal on the GPS Hope webstore. Order in February and receive a free My Grief Journey. Also available on Amazon starting February 19th. Click here to order Linda's book Hope for My Hurting Heart.  (Note: This is an affiliate link, which means a small portion of your purchase price will go to GPS Hope.) Click here to support the podcast, keep it ad-free, and get exclusive content. Click here to receive a Weekly Word of Hope from Laura. Birthdays: We lovingly remember and celebrate the lives of: Sean Kraus was born on February 19 and is forever 24. Jason Zimdars was born on February 20 and is forever 35. Visit gpshope.org/birthdays to submit your child's name and date so we can honor them, too. The special song written for our children's birthdays I Remember Well can be heard here. Remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE! www.gpshope.org To have Laura come and minister at your event, contact us at office@gpshope.org. Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose. It is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgment in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.

When God feels silent after the death of a child, many grieving parents wonder if their faith has failed, or if God has stepped away. In this tender and honest episode, Laura speaks to pareavors (parents bereaved of their child) who love God yet feel disconnected, angry, or unable to sense His presence in the depths of grief. Through real words from grieving parents and gentle spiritual reflection, this conversation offers space for honesty, lament, and the possibility of encountering God again; not through answers, but through His quiet presence within. Links Mentioned in this episode: Click here to grab a copy of The Bible's Grieving Parents eBook and find comfort in God's Word for your grieving heart. Click here to support the podcast, keep it ad-free, and get exclusive content. Click here to receive a Weekly Word of Hope from Laura. Birthdays: We lovingly remember and celebrate the lives of: Josh Peterson was born on February 2 and is forever 35. Ava Shaw was born on February 4 and is forever 20. Rose Elizabeth Charlton was born on February 5 and is forever 27. Visit gpshope.org/birthdays to submit your child's name and date so we can honor them, too. The special song written for our children's birthdays I Remember Well can be heard here. Remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE! www.gpshope.org To have Laura come and minister at your event, contact us at office@gpshope.org. Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose. It is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgment in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.  

After the death of a child, grief can feel suffocating and impossible to escape. Many bereaved parents find themselves overwhelmed by painful thoughts that deepen the darkness and make it hard to imagine ever breathing freely again. In this episode, Laura explores how your thoughts affect grief after the death of a child, and why what happens in our minds matters so much in the healing journey. With honesty, compassion, and faith-centered encouragement, Laura shares how anger, bitterness, and false beliefs can quietly take root—and how, with God's help, those thought patterns can begin to change. While we cannot control every thought that enters our mind, we can learn how to recognize which thoughts are pulling us deeper into despair and which ones can gently guide us toward hope. This episode offers reassurance, understanding, and a reminder that even in the darkest places of grief, you are not alone—and that healing can begin one thought at a time. Links Mentioned in this episode: Click here to get your copy of Reflections of Hope Click here to grab a copy of The Bible's Grieving Parents eBook and find comfort in God's Word for your grieving heart. Sorry, When Tragedy Strikes Kindle version is no longer 50 cents. But the paperback version is on sale for only $11.99  (as of 1/27/26). Click here to order from Amazon. (Note: using this link may give GPS Hope a small commission from your purchase.) If When Tragedy Strikes has encouraged you, I'd be grateful if you'd click here to leave a rating or review. Click here to support the podcast, keep it ad-free, and get exclusive content. Birthdays: We lovingly remember and celebrate the lives of: Lucas Wildgoose was born on January 25 and is forever 17. Celeste France was born on January 29 and is forever 17. Lion Kingsbury was born on January 29 and is forever 20. Visit gpshope.org/birthdays to submit your child's name and date so we can honor them, too. The special song written for our children's birthdays I Remember Well can be heard here. Remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE! www.gpshope.org To have Laura come and minister at your event, contact us at office@gpshope.org. Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose. It is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgment in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.  

Send us a textDecember 2nd, 2025Just after 8 o'clock this morning the Elk Grove Police Department Communications Center received a call from a mother concerned about the safety of her two children who were home with their father.  The mother was at work when she saw her son laying on the ground unresponsive, on home surveillance video.  mother said she saw home security video of the children's father assaulting their 11-year-old son.Merchhttps://jrlawman-shop.fourthwall.com/...https://www.fox26houston.com/news/for...   • Police: Ex-deputy stabbed son, then fled b...  https://elkgrove.gov/news/father-susp...   • Extended Coverage | Former Sac deputy susp...  https://www.sacbee.com/news/local/cri... https://people.com/ex-cop-allegedly-s... 

Today's guest, Lisa, says she has always felt a special, spiritual link to her eldest daughter, Libby—starting when Libby was an infant and lasting throughout her life. One night, Lisa complained to her husband about a throbbing thumb. The next morning, Libby called, saying she had hurt her thumb and thought it was broken. When Libby's father asked if the injury happened around 9 pm, Libby confirmed the time of the injury, but she was puzzled until he answered, “Your mother felt that.” Despite being over 200 miles away and unaware of any injury, Lisa sensed Libby's broken thumb that night. Six months later, at 1 am, Libby's friends called, reporting that she had vanished after being dropped off in a taxi. Lisa instantly feared the worst, though she tried to reassure them that Libby might simply be delayed. Deep down, she knew Libby was dead. She could not feel her as she normally could. The following day, Lisa and her husband braved a harsh English winter storm to drive to Hull. As they passed the Humber Estuary—a vast inlet leading to the North Sea—Lisa whispered, “Libby is in that water.” Her husband dismissed it as being 'silly,' but Lisa insisted she wasn't imagining it. Forty‑eight agonizing days later, police recovered Libby's body from those waters; she had been raped and murdered. In the nearly seven years since that tragedy, Lisa and her family have endured relentless trauma. At first, she felt isolated despite the story dominating UK headlines, and for two years she seemed to lose herself entirely. Over the past five years, however, she has begun to heal by connecting with other bereaved parents, listening to podcasts, and sharing Libby's story with young people and police officers. She hopes that exposing the warning signs that preceded the murder will help protect other women. And although Libby is no longer physically here with her, through her work, Lisa still feels connected to Libby. Lisa feels her as she does her "Libby work" in Libby's old bedroom, now her office. Our love for our children keeps that spiritual connection alive long after they are gone.

Jerry's passion is helping bereaved children. When I was first introduced to her, Jerry was described as a widowed mother with a heart for grieving kids. She'd written Joy Overcame Sorrow, a fictional tale for late‑elementary and middle‑school readers about a ten‑year‑old girl coping with her father's death. The story follows Joy's grief journey, letting parents buy a companion workbook so children can record their own feelings while reading. I booked Jerry for the show because listeners frequently ask how parents can support grieving children. I didn't realize her personal loss mirrored our own so closely. Jerry lost her husband her best friend — and raised their young family alone. Before that, she endured four pregnancy losses, including delivering and burying two infants, Jenny and Jesse. Those early tragedies marked her first encounter with deep grief and forced her to help her surviving kids navigate sorrow. Little did she know the next forty years would bring more loss, both as a widow and as a K‑9 teacher working with grieving students. In the classroom, Jerry advised fellow teachers on supporting grieving children. Many educators feel helpless; asking parents is tough because they, too, are immersed in grief. Colleagues urged her to write a book to help grieving children. Jerry had already published a non-fiction book, helping widows rediscover joy after loss, but writing for children would prove to be very different indeed.  Instead of a non‑fiction how‑to guide, Jerry chose fiction — a powerful decision. Stories teach while comforting, allowing children to see themselves reflected without overt instruction. Kids gravitate to narrative—they don't want to feel singled out. By experiencing grief through Joy's eyes, they learn, empathize, and feel less alone. Her novel and its workbook now serve as a gentle bridge for families and teachers navigating the delicate path of loss together. To learn more about Jerry and her writing, visit drjerrylwoodbridge.com.

Eight minutes. That is how long it took for Michael's life to be forever changed. In late November 2016, a fire broke out in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. Unbeknownst to Michael, the winds picked up while he was driving with his oldest son, and the fires swept toward the family home. Michael is haunted by nightmares of his frantic drive back through the fires, trying to get back home. By the time he arrived, the fire had taken the lives of his daughters, Chloe and Lily, as well as his wife, Constance. In the months after the fires, as Michael struggled to sleep, he would write about his pain. One day, he posted a writing on Facebook. It "went nuts," causing Michael to start a blog. Michael continued in his dark world until November 2023, when he stood at the memorial for the fires. He whispered to the empty air, opening his heart to the girls he had lost. In the silence, he heard Chloe's voice, bright and urgent: “Daddy, it's time to do the work.” The words struck a chord deep inside him. That night, he enrolled in college, determined to learn how to translate his pain into something to help others. Thus, The Million Stages of Grief was born. Each chapter opens with an italicized fragment from his old blog — a snapshot of confusion, terror, or numbness. The remainder of the chapter presents the lessons he gathered in classrooms, therapy rooms, and through life's experiences, reshaping those dark moments into pathways forward. Before pressing “publish,” Michael whispered a brief prayer, handing the manuscript over to his girls, asking, "I am completely giving this to you. However big you want this to go, however many people you want to read it, I give it all to you." Years ago, while working as a zipline instructor, a woman kicked Michael, knocking him over. Inexplicably, five years later and one month after that prayer, she posted the video to TikTok, garnering 1.5 million views. Curious, Michael created his own TikTok account, stitching the video to a narration of his story and book. The new post surged to 2.5 million views. I guess his girls decided that their story needed to go very big indeed.

He should be here. Today's guest, Lindsay, says that these are the four most impactful words that have been said to her in the year since her 6-month-old son, Chase, died from bacterial meningitis. These words don't try to cheer her up or remind her of some grand plan. They simply acknowledge the wrongness of the whole situation. Lindsay's family no longer feels complete without Chase. Smiling 'Chasey' should be tagging along, trying to keep up with his big brother, Jack. Chase should be here. From the time her two boys were tiny babies, Lindsay would read to them. She loved reading board books by Nancy Tillman, especially 'On the Night You Were Born' and 'Wherever You Go: My Love Will Find You.' This second book begins with the line, 'I wanted you more than you'll ever know, so I sent love to follow wherever you go.' The book goes on to describe how the mother's love will follow the child wherever he or she goes, whether it be going swimming, climbing trees, or marching in parades. It reminds the child that as they grow, their mother's love will continue to follow them throughout life. The last line of the book reads, 'You are my angel, my darling, my star, and my love will find you wherever you are.' Since Chase's death, Lindsay has truly realized the truth of that little board book. The book was certainly not written for grieving parents, but we can hold fast to the words of that book, can't we? Death does not end our love for our children. Our love continues to follow them after death.  Lindsay's love for Chase has followed him all the way to heaven. In the year since Chase died, her love for Chase has not diminished. Her love has continued to grow just as it does for all mothers. On Chase's birthday, Lindsay now donates 70 copies of 'Wherever You Go: My Love will Find You' to the NICU where she works and Baby Chase once stayed.  Certainly, Chase should be here as a laughing, smiling toddler, but as she sees parents read these books to their new babies, Lindsay remembers that their love for each other continues to grow, and these books will help spread that love even further.

Musician Paul Field on grieving the death of his baby girl, Bernadette, and how she inspired his family band, The Wiggles, to bring joy into the lives of millions of children. CW: This episode of Conversations discusses the death of a child.Paul Field was on tour in Queensland with his band, the Cockroaches, when he received a call that would alter his life forever.His 7-month-old baby daughter, Bernadette, had unexpectedly died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).Paul and his wife, Pauline, had never imagined they would one day plan a funeral for their baby, but that's what they had to do.Surrounded by their close-knit families and with support from mental health professionals, Paul and Pauline grieved differently but together, realising that fully reckoning with the their tragic loss was the only way they could move forward for their eldest son, Luke, and for the three more children to come. Today, Paul loves finding any opportunity to talk about Bernadette, his gentle, joyful baby girl.In fact, Bernadette, changed the course of Paul's next family project: The Wiggles -- a band that has connected with millions of children for the last 30 years.Help and support is always available. You can call or text Lifeline 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.Read more about research into SIDS, and find out more about counselling services available to parents who have lost a child at the Red Nose website.This episode of Conversations was produced by Meggie Morris. Executive Producer is Nicola Harrison.It explores unexplained death of a child, how to cope with losing a child, loss, Red Nose Day, Sids for Kids, grief, marriage, love, relationships, music, family bands, big families, Irish Catholic families, Sydney in the 1980s, pub rock, skivvies, Anthony Field, Emma Watkins, Dorothy the Dinosaur, Greg Page, Jeff Fatt, Wake up Jeff,  Lachlan Gillespie, Simon Pryce, Tsehay Hawkins, Evie Ferris, John Pearce, Caterina Mete, Lucia Field, big red car, police corruption, NSW police, royal commission, Sydney gangs, drugs, substance abuse.To binge even more great episodes of the Conversations podcast with Richard Fidler and Sarah Kanowski go the ABC listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. There you'll find hundreds of the best thought-provoking interviews with authors, writers, artists, politicians, psychologists, musicians, and celebrities.

I feel like God arranges for certain guests to come on the podcast just when I need them most. On the day of this interview, I was particularly weepy, missing Andy even more than I normally do. I think God knew I needed someone to cry with, and Nancy was that someone. Nancy calls her son, Jacob, her Buddha baby, weighing 11 pounds 3 ounces at birth. The bib that they brought with them to the hospital would not even fit around his neck. However, that was not the only reason Jacob was called her Buddha Baby. Even as an infant, Jacob seemed to be a calming presence to everyone around him.  Shortly after graduating from high school, Jacob was feeling a bit tired while working a new job. He noticed a lump that was quickly determined to be lymphoma. However, cancer did not slow him down. Jacob was determined to keep living his best life and even started school after his diagnosis. When beginning a new cancer treatment, it was expected that he would be in the hospital for a relatively short stay and then move on with life. In fact, at 19 years of age, Jacob would only let Nancy stay a certain number of hours each day so he could have some privacy. Suddenly, one evening after Nancy went back to her hotel, everything changed. In a matter of hours, Jacob suffered severe complications from the treatment, leading to brain swelling. Jacob, her amazing teenage Buddha, was gone. In the five months between Jacob's death and this interview, Nancy feels as if she has been living in a fog. She finds that she just wants to keep moving and walking constantly. At times, she wondered if she would even be able to make it back home. Tears still come daily. She has joined support groups, where she talks to other bereaved mothers who get it. She listens to my podcast during long walks. Nancy talks to Jacob and looks for signs of him in nature. So in today's episode, we talked about and cried for our boys. She understood my pain, and I understood hers, and after an hour of talking and crying, I knew that we both felt just a little bit better. So thank you, God, for sending Nancy just when we needed each other most.

Grief and Laughter. At first glance, it may seem like these words could be considered polar opposites, but as we grieve, moments of laughter and joy can be a balm for the soul. The intense pain of grief oftentimes feels overwhelming. It is deep and dark, and it can feel like it will go on forever. I remember the first time that I laughed after Andy died. I felt tremendous guilt. Andy was dead. I felt like I should never laugh again. I should be sad every moment of every day. But that is not how we were made. We were created to be beings that felt joy and happiness. My mind wouldn't let me stay in the darkness continuously, and that is a good thing. Laughter can bring a tremendous release of emotions in much the same way that crying brings release. Most people do not feel guilty when they cry during grief, but laughter can cause guilt. My hope is to help people learn that laughter is amazing medicine for the soul and not something to avoid.  This week's podcast is an edited release of the Livestream with Gwen. (If you tuned in and had a difficult time listening due to technical problems, I apologize. This version is much better!) Gwen shares her wisdom on the benefits of laughter and learning to reintroduce laughter into our lives while still navigating through the depths of our pain. We are certainly not suggesting that someone can simply let go of their grief and choose to be happy. (Many people have said those words to me, and frankly, that is simplistic and absurd.) We are asking you to seek out moments of laughter and joy. Seek out people in your life who make you feel good, even if it's only for a few hours or a few minutes. For me, the best people to laugh with are actually other bereaved parents. It feels safe to laugh with them, knowing that they will not judge me if I laugh and cry at the same time. Having those people and moments in your life may help make the pit of grief feel a little less dark and help you feel a little less alone.

Belief expansion. As they navigate life, all adults develop a core set of beliefs. When tragedy strikes, sometimes these core beliefs can be shaken. Some grieving people lose their sense of spirituality, while others gain a deeper, stronger faith after experiencing trauma. Dave was trained as a therapist, but nothing in his training prepared him for his 18-year-old daughter, Jeannine's cancer diagnosis and death. He grew up in the Christian church with some Christian traditions, but Dave's core values and beliefs were grounded in science. Dave realized in the months and years after Jeannine's death, he needed more. Science alone did not bring him the comfort or peace he needed.  Dave says by pure serendipity, an interfaith minister named Patty entered his life. (I like to think this was by divine intervention, but I digress.) Dave had a spiritual experience with Patty that changed his life forever. Over the next ten years, Dave began exploring more and more ideas of spirituality with Patty and others. Dave said that he began to realize he did not have to abandon his core beliefs and values to adopt additional beliefs that aligned with and complemented his perspective. Dave now asks himself, "What can I add here that is going to help me get through this part of my life?" He truly feels that if he had continued in the old set of beliefs that he had when Jeannine died, he would not be where he is today. Dave said,  "My journey demanded that I needed to embrace different perspectives about how I saw myself, how I saw the world, and how I saw my values if I was going to reengage in life again while still honoring my grief." Dave wrote a book about his experiences and conversations with Patty called, 'When the Psychology Professor Met the Minister," available on Amazon. He also now hosts a podcast, The Teaching Journeys (listen for me on an upcoming episode). On the podcast, Dave continues his own journey of belief expansion by learning from the stories of others who have experienced challenges in life. Dave says, "We are all students and teachers...let's learn from each other." I cannot think of a more amazing way to learn.

Near the end of today's interview, my guest, Miranda, said one of the most beautiful sentences that I have ever heard from a bereaved mom, especially one who is only 9 months into her grief journey. Miranda said, "Denver's death is going to be my reason, not my excuse - my reason to get up, my reason to do, my reason to survive, and my reason to love." Denver was a happy, healthy toddler who had just celebrated his first birthday when he died from accidental suffocation while he slept. His birthday theme just weeks before had been 'One Happy Dude,' so Miranda and her family used the decorations for his funeral. His funeral was full of yellow smiley faces and lots of bright colors. The family handed out smiley face pins at the funeral.  Every summer, their hometown of Medicine Hat, Alberta, has a hot air balloon festival. This year, Miranda had the idea that one of the pilots might be able to take a picture of Denver up in a brightly colored hot air balloon during he festival. By the time the festival began, all thirty hot air balloons contained pictures of Denver. Many of the balloonists are international and continue to bring the picture of Denver with them as they fly all over the world. This month, Denver's picture is flying with a hot air balloon over Italy.  I have shared many times about bringing Andy's teddy bear with us as we travel to help us have a symbol of Andy with us. Continuing to live and make happy memories without him is challenging. Living without Denver's smile and laugh each day is extremely difficult, yet Miranda continues to get up and try. She, too, often travels with a little teddy bear she can hug when the pain of missing Denver feels too great.  Miranda's goal is to try to keep on living in the best way that she can - her reason to live and not her excuse. Each day still contains tears for Denver, but the tears no longer flow all day. She tries to look for smiley faces around her as she thinks of Denver's little picture flying in hot air balloons. Every time I see a hot air balloon, I will wonder if a little bit of Denver might be up there in its basket.  

When today's guests, Andy and Kristen, lost their almost 2-year-old daughter due to complications after a seizure 2 years ago, their lives completely changed. There was life before Juniper died, and there was life after Juniper died. Before Juniper died, they had two young girls in daycare. Days after Juniper died, their older daughter, Macie, started public school, and Juniper was gone. There was no longer a need for a daycare. They were suddenly navigating a world where they were bereaved parents. It was as if they were suddenly living in an alternative universe. Years before Juniper's death, Andy had watched his aunt and uncle mourn their son after he died in a car accident. Andy now realized that he didn't have a clue about what they had gone through - the pain that they felt each day. Andy and Kristen found themselves looking to other bereaved parents for support. They joined their local Compassionate Friends chapter and became regular listeners of the podcast. I sometimes have doubts about continuing to produce the podcast each week. It is certainly a labor of love, but it does require a lot of work, and sometimes, when listener numbers falter or donations stop for several weeks at a time, I wonder if the time for the podcast has passed. Then, I hear beautiful words like I heard today, and I realize that even though most of my guests have never spoken to each other, we have created a community of grievers. Before ending my conversation with Andy and Kristen today, Andy shared, "For all of the other parents who have been on the podcast and are now listening, we have cried for your children. We have mourned for your children because we know how it feels. We have heard them." Kristen says that early on in their grief journey, they knew that someday, they would want to share Juniper's story on the podcast. Today, almost two years later, is that day. Now, Andy and Kristen can know that all around the world, other bereaved parents are truly hearing them. They are crying for Juniper and mourning her as well. And for me, that is all that truly matters.

What happens when everything that once defined you—your marriage, your faith, your strength, your career—gets stripped away (Amazon Affiliate)?   We're honored to welcome Rick Cheatham, retired Anaheim City Fire Captain turned transformational life coach, to the Tactical Living Podcast. Rick's life story is not just powerful—it's a roadmap for anyone facing unimaginable pain.   From battling addiction that nearly destroyed his marriage…   To enduring the unthinkable—the brutal murder of his 23-year-old son…   To facing paralysis after a fall during retirement…   Rick has walked through fire—literally and emotionally—and emerged with a message that every first responder, spouse, and human soul needs to hear.  

Livestreams with Gwen are back! This week's livestream topic was to be about the fact that we are living in two worlds - longing to live in the past while dealing with our messy lives in the present. I talk about my struggles of missing Andy while trying to be the happy mother-of-the-groom at Valeriano's recent wedding. This conversation quickly morphed into another topic. Respite. First, is it OK to take a break from your grief? And second - where do I find respite when I need a break from my grief? My answers - First - YES! And Second - walks outside in the sunshine, riding in our boat, listening to birds while on my deck, listening to music, reading a good book, and playing board games with family or friends. The most important point is this. It is OK (and actually GOOD) to take a break from your grief. Many grieving parents feel like they need to feel their grief all the time. Every book they read is about grief. Every podcast they listen to is about grief. Days are filled with therapy and support groups. While all of these things are great, breaks are needed. Our bodies and minds cannot handle the constant pain of grief. I remember in those early days feeling like I needed to feel the pain constantly. If I started to laugh or even smile, I would remind myself that Andy was dead, and the smile would disappear. As the seven-year anniversary approaches next week, I feel the heaviness begin to worsen again, but I have learned that the best way to get through these difficult days is to take some time away from the pain as well. I will have intentional times with my family to talk about and remember Andy. There is an upcoming 5K race where 25 of my co-workers will be wearing Be Still bracelets as they run to support our local FitKids program. But there will also be time for me to have respite. I will spend time reading a book and listening to birds outside on my deck. I will play golf and go boating. Hopefully, I will be able to convince my family to play a board game with me. Finding this balance is what gives me the strength to continue on each day.

Since becoming a bereaved parent, several phrases have irritated me. One of the most bothersome things people say to me is, 'You are so strong. I could never do what you do.' I feel like that suggests they don't think they need to help me—that I can handle everything on my own without assistance. When I first heard about today's guest, Cristi, and the 'Mentally STRONG' method she developed, I wasn't sure if I would like it. However, because Cristi lost not just one, but three children, I thought I should give it a try. After our conversation, all my doubts melted away. When Cristi talks about being mentally strong, she doesn't mean being a resilient hero doing everything alone. Instead, Cristi teaches people to face their grief and sorrow directly, in community with therapists and other grieving individuals. As a psychiatric nurse practitioner, Cristi believed in cognitive behavioral therapy and the power of positive thinking. But after losing her adoptive son Johnny to drowning and seeing her son Reggie—and later daughter, Miah, and husband, Bundy—suffer from DRPLA, a terrible degenerative disease, Cristi realized that simply thinking positively was not very helpful for those grieving. We can't just 'look on the bright side' and think positive thoughts after losing our children. That isn't realistic or natural. Cristi understands this too well. She writes, "Grief can feel overwhelming, like a weight that never lifts. It consumes your thoughts, leaves you feeling lost, and makes it hard to get through the day. It's an unpredictable journey that pulls at your heart. But in these moments of deep sorrow, there is space to feel, process, and find a path toward healing." The Mentally STRONG method isn't a quick fix for deep grief, but it can help you face and work through your grief. It can help you find purpose in life again. If Cristi can find purpose and experience joy after losing Johnny, Reggie, Miah, and Bundy, so can we. For more information and access to her book and documentary, visit mentallystrong.com.

In this 1735th episode of Toronto Mike'd, Mike chats with Larry Klopot, who recently lost his only child. Throughout the grieving process, Larry journaled his feelings and has recorded his writings to help others coping with the death of a child. Toronto Mike'd is proudly brought to you by Great Lakes Brewery, Palma Pasta, Ridley Funeral Home, Toronto Maple Leafs Baseball, the Waterfront BIA, Nick Ainis and RecycleMyElectronics.ca. If you would like to support the show, we do have partner opportunities available. Please email Toronto Mike at mike@torontomike.com.

Today's guest, Jody, worked as an actor on Broadway for a year, but nothing had ever prepared her for the role she was required to play after the birth of her firstborn daughter, Lueza. After a completely unremarkable pregnancy, Jody suffered severe complications during childbirth, resulting in significant brain injuries for Baby Lueza. After suffering from horrible seizures as a young infant, they were able to stabilize little Lueza. Once they did so, she began to show a smile that would light up a room. Still, Lueza had significant delays. She could not sit, eat, or talk independently. At one point in time, Jody remembers looking at her husband and saying, "Will Lueza ever be able to sit up on her own?" Her husband's answer stuck with her: "She may be lying down, but she may be very happy." Over the years, Lueza proved her Dad right. She continued to be 'lying down,' but she was always very happy. She loved music, movies, and roller coasters. She would laugh and squeal and could let her family know what she did and didn't like with the slightest head movements. And her smile continued to light up the room.  Lueza had a profound effect on many people around her as she interacted with doctors and nurses in the medical community and her teachers at school. Over time, Lueza slowly developed more complications and died suddenly at home one night after getting what her family thought was only a little cold.  Then, Jody's life changed once again. She was no longer the mother of a medically complex child. She was now a bereaved mother. There were no more hospital visits. The medical equipment was no longer needed in the family home. Jody began doing arts and crafts as a form of healing. She attended spiritual support groups for bereaved parents. Most importantly, Jody began to write. Jody wrote a memoir about her life with Lueza that was years in the making. The title of the memoir was so fitting - 'She May Be Lying Down, but She May Be Very Happy.' This memoir was a story of her life with Lueza and a heartfelt thank you to all the people who had helped her over the years. A beautiful tribute for a beautiful girl.

When today's guest, Andy, lost his 18-year-old son, Heston, to suicide, he had a lot of time to reflect on life and finding one's purpose. Early in Andy's grief journey, he saw a visual that truly resonated with him. The image was of a framed picture that was completely black. The blackness represented the grief that, early on in one's grief journey, was all-encompassing. The darkness of the grief covered every part of the bereaved person's life. Then, there was a second image of a black rectangle the same size as the first. However, the picture frame was now several times larger, so that the black portion now took up only 5% of the frame.  The explanation is simple. The deep grief does not go away. The hole in our hearts remains. What we can work to change is the rest of our lives. We can grow and expand so that our lives are bigger than the grief. There are portions with love, joy, and happiness. They do not eliminate the grief, and the grief remains a part of the picture, but it is not the entire picture. The idea is not to get stuck in our grief, but to bring it along with us as we continue to experience life.  This past weekend, my (foster) son, Valeriano, got married. It was a beautiful wedding. There were lots of smiles and happiness surrounding the couple, but there were tears, too, as we had our first big family event without our Andy. Valeriano bought a special green pen to use to sign his marriage certificate to honor Andy. I put his picture and teddy bear on the seat where he should have been sitting. The new family picture included Andy's picture and teddy bear. We did not ignore our grief and forget about Andy on Saturday. We brought him along to be a part of the celebration. This is just what Heston's Dad, Andy, encourages as well. He brings Heston with him, feeling his presence. He has even released a powerful book, 'Overcoming Life's Toughest Setbacks: 15 Breakthrough Core Beliefs to Transform Challenges into Opportunities!' The book is available through his website, askandycampbell.com. If it's half as good as my conversation with him today, I know it will inspire many of us on our grief journey.

When Susie and Nick Shaw's nine-year-old son William died in a skiing accident, their world shifted permanently. In the six years since that day, they've found ways to carry their grief and stay connected to William, while continuing to honor the boy who inspired so much good in their lives and in their community.  In this deeply moving conversation, Susie and Nick reflect on William's life—his empathy, his humor, and the motto he created for himself in the year before he died: “Be Yourself.” A simple but powerful phrase that inspired their nonprofit, William's Be Yourself Challenge.  Together, we discuss: The day William died and what they've come to understand about control, safety, and loss Navigating grief as individuals and as a couple  Supporting their son Kai in grieving for his brother Raising Bodhi, their child who was born after William's death  Creating family rituals, including monthly taco nights and birthday celebrations  Returning to Big Sky, Montana to visit the spot where William died and reclaim their love of skiing Their new project, The Greenhouse, a house for families who are grieving to take a break from daily life  Whether you're a parent or a caregiver who's grieving, a supporter of one, or someone walking alongside a family coping with heartbreaking grief, this conversation highlights the power of honesty, connection, and intentional grief work.  Content Warning: This episode contains discussions of child death, trauma, and detailed descriptions of the day William died.  More from Susie & Nick:  Susie's writing: Dear William Substack  Susie on IG: @bereavementmom Nick's book: My Teacher, My Son  Learn more: WilliamsBeYourselfChallenge.org  Donate or get involved with The Greenhouse Project: WBYCgiving.org   

Today's guest, Jackie, says that her guiding purpose is based on a quote that she has written down and keeps close by. David Viscott wrote, "The purpose of life is to discover your gift. The work of life is to develop it. And the meaning of life is to give your gift away." Jackie says that is exactly how her son, Stu, lived his life and how she works to live her own.   Initially, after her amazingly talented, loving son, Stu, died by suicide, she lost herself. Stu had been living his dream life in New York City. He had his own apartment and worked at a job he loved as a barber, cutting hair. Then, mental illness invaded his life and took him away. Jackie was left feeling alone. Hope? What is that? Healing? That's impossible. She tried going to grief support groups but felt overwhelmed. Then, Jackie found an organization called Eric's House. Their vision is that 'no person who is bereaved by suicide or substance use will suffer these devastating losses alone.' Jackie said the organization saved her.  Ever so slowly, hope crept back into her life. Jackie didn't force healing to come, but it did, a little bit at a time. She joined one of their online support groups and then another. They gave her the tools that she needed to start rebuilding her life. She began writing an article for the organization's newsletter and started facilitating support groups for them as well. Over time, Jackie found a purpose for her grief.  Now Jackie compares herself to the old apple trees in her backyard. They appear to be 150 years old. They have branches dying each year and huge holes in them, but they persist. Each year, the trees blossom and look beautiful. They produce apples that feed the deer in the area. Whatever life throws at them, they keep going.  That is a great visual for our lives now. We may have huge holes inside and limbs that are missing, but we just keep going. As ugly as our lives may look from the outside, they can still produce beauty and help provide for others along our life's journey. We may not be who we once were, but we can still be amazing.

Maeve was a little girl who was born to be a big sister. As soon as she was able to toddle around the house, Maeve was bringing the family dog her favorite books to read and making sure he had everything that he 'needed'. Shortly after Maeve's second birthday, her little brother was born, and Maeve was truly in her element. She adored Declan and wanted to share everything with him. Baby Declan loved being a part of the 'Maeve show' as her mama, Tarah, described it. Declan would grin as his big sister laughed and danced around him. Life was good. Then, one day, that perfect life was destroyed. The little family was on a flight to DC. The flight had been delayed, so by the time the plane landed, Maeve had fallen asleep on her dada's lap. Tarah's husband tried to rouse her, and could not. Maeve was no longer breathing. He let out a scream, and both parents immediately started CPR. Their perfectly healthy 3-year-old daughter had died for no apparent reason while sleeping on her father's lap. Her official cause of death was Sudden Unexplained Death of Childhood (SUDC). Their world was shattered. Tarah first wrote to me less than two months after Maeve's death. She shared her story and asked to be connected to another mom whose daughter died of SUDC. Over the almost two years since that first email, Tarah has continued to email with family updates, show ideas, and eventually, about Maeve's Foundation, the charity that Tarah and her husband started in Maeve's memory.  Initially, Tarah just wanted to collect enough money to buy a bench as a dedication to Maeve. Then, that idea grew into sponsoring a memorial garden in Maeve's memory. As more people contributed to the foundation, Tarah knew they needed to grow.  The organization now has a new mission - Maeve's Wish. Maeve's Wish is working to provide 'a truly magical respite for children battling a chronic or terminal illness - a trip to Walt Disney World.'  Just as Maeve wanted to make her family dog and baby brother happy, she will help make precious family memories for others. We're pretty sure she will be laughing and dancing as she watches from heaven.

Storytelling. It's my very favorite thing about doing the podcast each week. When I meet each guest, I am privileged to help people share their child's story with people around the world. I have come to learn over the past 300-plus episodes that this storytelling helps lead to healing for both the guests sharing their stories and the listeners who tune in each week. Emily learned about the power of storytelling years ago while writing her book, Birth Story Brave. As a perinatal mental health specialist, she recognized the importance for women to be able to work through their own birth story experiences to help them heal when things don't go as planned. Hundreds of miles away, Malhaley, a fellow perinatal mental health specialist, used the book with her patients as well, finding its 'storytelling as healing' theme to be extremely helpful.  Then, the unimaginable happened. Not only did Mahaley have her own birth trauma experience, but her daughter, Saachi, needed to be admitted to the NICU and died a few days later. Mahaley's world was rocked. She did not know if she would ever be able to work in perinatal mental health again, but as she did consider going back, she thought about Emily and her book. Mahaley knew that she needed to work through her own story to begin to heal. As helpful as Emily's first book was to Mahaley, she quickly realized that families whose birth story leads to their babies being admitted to the NICU needed something more. The birth story was important, certainly, but for these families, it was only the beginning. They need a guide to help them after the birth, when their babies start and sometimes end their lives in the NICU.  Mahaley interviewed Emily, and an idea was born. The two of them began to write another book, 'Your NICU Story: Reflecting on Your Family's Experience', which will be released in September. In it, they utilize the power of storytelling to help families navigate their own NICU experiences, whether they ultimately bring their babies home or not.

There is one question that this week's guest, Nicole (nicolebgebhardt.com), asks each client when she first starts seeing them as a life coach.   What are three things you love about yourself?  How did you answer this question? Was it difficult? Did you even come up with three things? I have to admit something. I had a hard time. As a mom, I can think of three things I love about my kids. As a wife, I can easily name three things I love above my husband, but when asked to look inward like this, I falter.  Nicole says that 85% of her clients have the same struggle. They can't name even one thing, let alone three. There was a time when Nicole had these same feelings. After suffering through two miscarriages and the death of her 9-week-old son, Samuel, from SIDS, she didn't feel like she deserved to be happy. Nicole turned to alcohol, and when her husband began abusing her, she felt as if she 'deserved' the abuse.  Even after having three healthy children, leaving her first husband, and meeting her 'Prince Charming', she still didn't love herself. Five and a half years ago, she decided to take her own life. After surviving that suicide attempt, her outlook on life changed. She chose to become clean and sober and focus on loving herself first. This certainly was not easy, but when talking to Nicole today, I can say that she, quite simply, radiates joy. Despite her past, Nicole does not let these experiences define her. Nicole realizes that she is not a victim. She is a survivor, and that is amazing. She is resilient, she is strong, and she is awesome.  Think about your own life for a minute. Think of all that you have gone through. Likely, if you are reading this, your child died. Perhaps you have suffered through abuse and addiction or tried to help a loved one through their struggles. Maybe you have lost other loved ones or your job, marriage, or home. Despite all of these things and more, you get up every day. You are strong and resilient. We all are.  Can I name three things I love about myself? Yes, I can. And so can you.

Daily Study: People debate whether abortion is right or wrong, and whether women have the right to choose it. In this study, I share my perspective from Scripture that abortion is always the death of a child, regardless of the language people use to frame it. Partner with Us: https://churchforentrepreneurs.com/partner Connect with Us: https://churchforentrepreneurs.com                  

Episode 300. It's hard to wrap my head around a number that big. Hundreds of beautiful stories. Thousands of listeners. Later this summer, we will reach another milestone: the 7th anniversary of Andy's death—14 years of having Andy here on Earth and 7 years of Andy in heaven. Another concept that is so difficult to comprehend. In today's episode, Gwen plays host and interviews Eric and me as we discuss the podcast and its growth over the past six years. The addition of our videographer, Jen, has been an incredible blessing as she has created beautiful video clips to share on Instagram and Facebook (@alwaysandysmom). These videos have helped us all see the featured children in real life, so to speak. Over the next few days, you will be able to see Andy featured for the first time! We also talked about our recent family trip. Vacations can be difficult after losing a child. Part of us may feel like we don't want to make new, wonderful memories without our loved one. Certainly, there were moments of sadness and tears as we traveled, thinking of Andy and knowing how much he would have loved it. We made a point of taking Andy's teddy bear, Herky, along on the trip and capturing pictures with him every single day. Herky had his special pouch in the backpack and made appearances at St. Peter's Square, the canals of Venice, and the Acropolis. Our 'Herky pictures' certainly did not replace having Andy with us, but they gave us all a moment to think about him and feel like a tiny bit of him was there. As we start our next 100 episodes, I look forward to seeing what new changes lie ahead. The first addition will be the opportunity to share your child on the podcast in a unique way. While some people want to share their child on an episode, others may never feel ready for such a step. I was inspired by Michael's Madre, who offered to sponsor the full cost of her episode, which is $125. Now, I invite others to do the same. If you feel called to sponsor all (or part of) an episode in your child's name, visit the Donate Page on andysmom.com, and their name will be announced in the introduction. Thank you all so much for the love and support you have shown me. The podcast has blessed me in more ways than I could have ever realized. I cannot imagine what my life would be like today without it.

"I'm good." This was a common response that Mary Beth's son, Michael, used when he didn't want to do something or go somewhere. "Michael, do you want to come with me?" "I'm good." It almost became a bit of a family joke. After Michael died 18 months ago at 21 years of age, his brother, a talented artist, wrote a cartoon depicting Michael in heaven. In the cartoon, his brother was longing to have Michael back with them, here on earth, with their family, so he called heaven. When Jesus answered the phone, he was asked if he could send Michael back home. Jesus responded, "Let me go ask him." Michael's response was typical Michael - "I'm good." The problem, of course, is that although Mary Beth is sure that Michael is 'good', Mary Beth is not. She and their entire family miss Michael terribly. Michael is the second of five sons in an incredibly close family. Although Michael had a long history of anxiety struggles, his family thought he was great. He seemed happy and was completing his college education with a degree in biology. He was a brilliant and talented young man with a bright future ahead of him.  Unbeknownst to his family, however, Michael was suffering inside. Mary Beth was shocked when she found him dead in the room where he had been living at his grandparents' house, and more shocked when they learned that he had taken his own life. After searching his computer, they found an unsent email where he described having homicidal and suicidal thoughts. He was suffering a mental breakdown and shared that he feared that he might kill other people. In that moment, he seemed to feel like the way to protect others was to die himself. Mary Beth did not know how she could go on living after losing Michael, but day by day, she is doing just that. Each day is a challenge, but Mary Beth continues to get up, go to work, and parent their four living boys. Does she expect to cry daily? Of course she does. Can she honestly answer, 'I'm good' when she is asked? Definitely not. But, until that day comes, Mary Beth clings to the knowledge that Michael is most certainly ‘good' up in heaven.

I have long loved Faith's Lodge and, since the early days of the podcast, hoped that someday, I might be able to talk with someone from that wonderful organization. Now, that wish became a reality. Today's guest, Kelly, is not a bereaved mom herself, but she was at the side of her sister when she lost her 12-year-old son, Carter, almost 15 years ago. As I listened to Kelly, I was struck by how instinctively she did so much 'right' after Carter died. Logistically, she handled so much for her sister in those first days and weeks, but perhaps even more importantly, she kept Carter a part of their everyday lives in the months and years that followed. When holidays came, Kelly made sure that Carter was remembered. Kelly continued to ask for parenting advice from her older sister, asking, "When this happened to Carter, what did you do?" Shortly after Carter died, Kelly's sister's family attended a retreat at Faith's Lodge. Her sister shared that for the first time, she felt like she could fully be herself and not have to wear a mask and try to hide. Then, 13 years ago, while golfing at a charity golf event, Kelly was asked if she might consider leaving her job and becoming the executive director of a non-profit organization. She had no interest in leaving her job, but politely asked the name of the organization - Faith's Lodge. The tears came, and then, long hours of considering a career change. With her sister's blessing, Kelly started the job that has since become her passion. Under Kelly's guidance, the organization expanded to be even more than an amazing year-round retreat center. They developed a program for employers called 'Hope Works Here' to give businesses tools to help bereaved parents return to work successfully. This month, more big changes came to Faith's Lodge as they undergo a rebranding in order to more clearly define their mission and purpose. Their new name is the Child Loss Foundation. They still offer their incredible retreats at Faith's Lodge (although they hope to spread to additional locations). They still offer resources for employers, now called Child Loss at Work. Additionally, the organization merged with another Minnesota non-profit formerly called The BeliEve Foundation, in order to expand their mission of offering immediate financial support for newly bereaved families. I have long known that Faith's Lodge was a magical place, but now, I can't wait to see how many more lives they will be able to touch as they grow and expand.

From the first pages of reading the memoir written by today's guest, Sally McQuillen, I was quite honestly hooked. 'Reaching for Beautiful: A Memoir of Loving and Losing a Wild Child' is an absolutely beautiful story that Sally wrote after losing her 21-year-old son, Christopher, in a boating accident shortly after Christmas. Sally shares that as she raised Christopher, she often found herself worrying about him. Christopher is described as a 'wild child' who suffered from addiction and loved to take risks. He lived every part of his life in a big way. Parenting Christopher was truly a roller coaster ride for Sally and her husband.  After losing Christopher, Sally's life was forever changed. She says that one of the greatest lessons that she learned both from raising and losing Christopher was to learn to let go of fear and instead cling to love. Sally had to "make losing Christopher a permission slip to be compassionate" with herself. Over the next months and years, Sally was challenged to let go of the fear, guilt, and regret in order to forgive herself and move forward with life. This was certainly not a quick process. Sally says it took her seven years to feel a sense of normalcy in her life after Christopher died. After Jen, my Instagram and Facebook videographer, watched the video of today's interview, she wrote to me that she felt so comforted when she heard Sally say that it took that long to feel 'normal' again. This is the biggest takeaway from this episode. There is no timeline for grief. Everyone's journey is their own. Some people appear to move faster and some slower, but it is not right or wrong. We need to take that lesson from Sally and give ourselves 'permission slips' when we think about our grief.  This brings me back to Sally's beautiful memoir. I found myself feeling so much love as I read this story, whether it was reading about Christopher's struggles in life or about Sally's grief after he died. The book is described as 'a luminous story of how love triumphs over pain, love transcends fear, and love never dies.' I couldn't agree more. Thank you, Sally.

Weddings. Graduations. Births. Empty Nesting. Divorce. No one would ever say that going through a big transition like this is easy. When reviewing my curriculum for my Starlight Virtual Support group this week, I learned that when people go through any rite of passage during life, their bodies require 20-25 minutes of rest three times a day, or they can get sick. Let's take a second and really think about that - we should rest 20-25 minutes three times a day when facing big life changes. I'm trying to look back to whether I have ever truly put aside time like that when going through big life transitions. I don't think I have. I am quite sure I am not alone in this. We are encouraged to power through and keep going until we fall into bed exhausted at night's end. Now, let's go a step further. When we are grieving and going through additional big transitions in life, is it surprising that we are completely exhausted? This conversation with Gwen serves as a wake-up call to me, and hopefully, it will do the same for all of you. I am certain that over the past almost 300 episodes of this podcast, I have said countless times how important it is to give yourself grace while you are grieving. Today, I am going to tell you to give yourself double grace when you are going through changes in life. Are you going through a graduation or planning for children to move off to college? Get help from others. You are more tired than your friends. They likely aren't thinking about the child whose graduation party they will never get to have, or living with the fear that when this child moves off to college, they might never see them again. Give yourself grace. Are you planning a wedding or expecting a new baby in the family? This is awesome and wonderful, but it is still exhausting, and the grief will likely bubble up when you least expect it, while looking at the empty chair in the church or in the eyes of that newborn. Give yourself grace. Are you going through the challenge of divorce? It may bring relief for a new beginning, but you may feel grief as you remember family times together. Give yourself grace.

Today's guest, Teresa Davis, currently goes by another name - The Grief Mentor. She hosts a podcast that is released twice a week. On the podcast, Teresa works to 'shine a light into the shadows, helping you discover that joy and pain can coexist, and that you can still have a purpose here on earth.' In addition to the podcast, Teresa offers a free grief survival guide, a free grief masterclass, a grief worship playlist, weekly newsletter, monthly support groups, and even one-on-one Grief Mentor sessions. As amazing as all of these things are, however, the thing that I admire most about Teresa is her sharing of the story that got her to this place of hope and healing in her grief journey. Though Teresa had a strong faith and was leading Bible studies, that faith was rocked to its core the day her oldest son, Andrew, a 32-year-old commercial pilot, was killed in a plane crash. She says that the world lost its color that day. She felt betrayed by God. God could have protected Andrew that day, but he didn't. She had devoted her life to God, but she felt He had failed her. Over the following months, Teresa found herself at a crossroads. She could either continue living in the darkness or she could choose to rebuild her life. Interestingly, a visit to the plane crash site months after the accident became a pivotal moment in her life. The smell of jet fuel was still in the air as she searched for where the cockpit had crashed into the ground. Suddenly, she heard God's voice in her head repeating Scripture - 'Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here.' Instead of feeling like the place of death and destruction, the crash site began to feel like a holy spot, the place where Andrew began his new life in heaven.  Over the next months and years, Teresa's faith continued to grow and evolve. It took on a strength it had never had before. Teresa began to pray, 'Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.' He has answered this prayer again and again. Now, by working as the Grief Mentor, Teresa takes other grieving parents by the hand, showing them how to feel joy in the midst of chaos.

Today's guest, Michelle, gave me some words of wisdom from her therapist that I will remember forever. Recently, Michelle had an appointment with her counselor and was talking about how her crying was 'not pretty'. The therapist agreed, saying, "No. Crying is not pretty, but when you are crying tears over the loss of your daughter, the tears are beautiful." This makes me think so much about grief in general. I have often described myself over the years as a 'hot mess'. April and August are my 'hot mess' months, April because of Andy's birthday on the 21st, and August due to the anniversary of his death. Additionally, this past month was extra difficult due to having the second Andy Larson Memorial Concert. For Michelle, April is an extremely challenging month as well. Her daughter Scarlett's birthday is on April 22nd, and she died after a long cancer journey two days before her 16th birthday on April 20th, 2022. As we spoke, nearly two weeks before these big days in our lives, we were both a 'hot mess', but I wonder now if that truly is the ugly mess that I always envisioned. I remember a few months after Andy died when I first heard the term 'lament' used with my grief. I learned that what I called the 'bad' cry or the 'ugly' cry when I completely lost control and would fall into a weeping heap on the floor, was actually when I was experiencing lament. Learning the term 'lament' helped me feel so much better about showing my emotions in that way. Lament is healthy. Lament is spiritual. Lament has a purpose and helps in our healing. I feel like this conversation with Michelle gave me a similar epiphany. Yes - Michelle and I fully admit that we are each a 'hot mess' in April, but I see now that our 'hot mess' is not necessarily ugly. We are crying beautiful tears for Scarlett and Andy. We have puffy faces, runny noses, and red eyes. Those tears may not make us look pretty on the outside, but our 'hot mess' is truly beautiful as we are freely showing lament while mourning our amazing children.

When Britt's 4-year-old son, Persy, died from cancer 18 months ago, Britt says that she was shocked. Now, you may question why Britt says she was shocked. Persy suffered from cancer for almost two years before dying. He underwent treatment after treatment, both in their home state of Florida and in New York. Persy was sent home on hospice to spend the last three weeks of his life. How is it that Britt says she was shocked? The answer lies in the difference between the words shock and surprise. Was Britt surprised that Persy died? No - she was not. She knew he was dying. Although she continued to pray for a miracle, she knew that his chances of recovery were minimal, so she was not surprised when Persy took his last breath. However, Britt was still shocked. No parent can truly imagine what life will be like after their child dies. We won't ever hear their voice again, be able to see their smile light up a room, or hold them close in a loving hug. We are therefore in shock when we have to experience these things, no matter whether the death was expected or not. As the shock slowly wears off, we now realize that we must continue living, even though it feels impossible. We may cry every day. We miss them every day, but time continues to move. Britt immediately turned to other bereaved parents to ask for help. Britt says that she and her husband have held on to two truths since losing Persy. First, their faith will bring them back to Persy. Persy lives on in heaven, and someday, they will be able to join him. The second truth is that every day, they are a little closer to the day they will be reunited with Persy. Do these truths make it easy to live here on earth without Persy? Of course not. Britt cries for Persy each day. She misses that he is not a part of her life now. She wishes her younger boys had an older brother to teach them to run, jump, and play - an older brother who might have occasionally gotten them all into trouble. Despite this longing for Persy and the life they might have had, she will continue to remind herself of the truth that one day they will all be reunited in faith.

Levi Lusko is the founder and lead pastor of Fresh Life Church located in Montana, Idaho, Oregon, and Utah. He is the bestselling author of Through the Eyes of a Lion, Swipe Right, I Declare War, The Last Supper on the Moon, and Roar Like a Lion, the 2022 ECPA Christian Book Award winner for young people's literature. Levi also travels the world speaking about Jesus. He and his wife, Jennie, have one son, Lennox, and four daughters: Alivia, Daisy, Clover, and Lenya, who is in heaven. Levi's latest book is Blessed Are The Spiraling: How the Chaotic Search for Significance Can Lead to Joy through Life's Shifting Seasons Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am quite sure I have never spoken with a parent whose child had their own Wikipedia page, but Erin's son, Keenan Cahill, does. Certainly, when Keenan was born, Erin did not ever imagine that someday, he would become an internet celebrity. From an early age, Erin worried about Keenan and his growth and development. When Keenan was 12 months old, Erin mentioned her concerns to Keenan's pediatrician. Keenan was diagnosed with Mucopolysaccharidosis Type VI. The disease was not curable, but was treatable. He underwent a bone marrow transplant to slow the progression. Erin was told that his life expectancy was between 40 and 60 years, and they should expect medical complications throughout life.  Despite these challenges, Keenan wanted to be a regular kid, and Erin worked hard to make him feel that way. When Keenan wanted to play sports, Erin signed him up, although he could never hope to keep up with other kids. Nothing stood in his way. As Keenan started high school, he began playing around with the desktop computer he got for his birthday. He released a hilarious video of himself lip-syncing to Katy Perry's song, "Teenage Dream." People loved it, and soon it was played on The Jimmy Kimmel Show. His life changed forever. Keenan was off to do events to entertain people. Celebrities visited their home to be in Keenan's videos, but with this newfound fame, many had negative, hurtful comments. Just as Keenan did not let his disease hold him back, he didn't let those hateful comments hold him back either. Eventually, he graduated from college and was able to produce his own music videos.  Complications after heart surgery ended Keenan's life in 2022 at the age of 27, far earlier than expected. While the world mourned a Youtuber, Erin mourned her amazing son. As Erin shared his story, I just kept thinking about how he spread joy in his short life. That should inspire all of us, shouldn't it? Despite the grief and pain, we too can spread joy and inspire others. While we may not end up with a Wikipedia page, it will be enough to help spread some happiness or relieve a little pain in those around us.

When today's guest, Danielle, went into her 21-month-old daughter Lydia's room to wake her from a nap on Christmas Day 2022, she noted how peaceful Lydia looked. She began to gently rub her back to rouse her gradually, but Lydia did not move. Danielle started to jostle her a bit more and soon realized that something was very wrong. Lydia was not waking up. Danielle screamed for her husband's help and quickly called 911. Even as she drove to the hospital, Danielle says she did not realize the gravity of the situation. Lydia had died. They learned from Lydia's autopsy that she had a rare congenital mesenteric defect that caused a volvulus and bowel obstruction that day. Their previously healthy, smiley, chatty girl and only child was gone. All they were given when they left the hospital were the pajamas Lydia had been wearing - pajamas that matched Danielle's own. They had no idea what to do. She desperately wanted some guidance - resources to help navigate these first unimaginable days and weeks, but they felt alone.  Feeling lost, Danielle went home and started crocheting little white hearts. She buried Lydia with one in her hands and kept a matching one for herself. She crocheted hundreds of these tiny hearts, giving them away so others could remember Lydia's kindhearted spirit. Over the next weeks, Danielle thought more and more about walking out of that hospital with nothing but Lydia's pajamas. Within 4 months of Lydia's death, Danielle had started an organization in Lydia's memory that she named Love From Lydia. She began working with two local hospitals to help make care packages for grieving parents. Included in the package would be a pair of crocheted white hearts and information to help parents in this new, unexpected pain.  Over time, Danielle realized that she wanted to do more than send comforting words on paper. She wanted to help make personal connections. She created COPE (Connecting Our Personal Experiences) which works to match parents with other grieving parents who are at least a year out from the death of their own child, making sure that newly bereaved parents don't feel as lost and alone as she once did.

Andy always loved dogs. I think he loved dogs so much because his personality was similar to a puppy's. He was always on the move and always excited to meet new people and to see new places. Over the years, Andy tried in vain to talk Eric into getting us a family dog. Eric came from a cat family. I came from a dog family. I am allergic to cats and Eric did not really like dogs, so our poor children ended up with pet fish instead. Once, when Andy was young, he asked me, 'If Dad dies, can we get a dog?' I was caught completely off guard but eventually had to answer that we could likely get a dog, but that we did NOT want Dad to die so it could happen. Just like Andy, today's guest, Debbie, and her daughter, Kelsey, have always loved dogs. In Debbie's memoir, My Grief Jar, Debbie relates the stories of the many dogs in Kelsey's life. As a young girl, Kelsey initially struggled with painful urination, which led to more and more struggles with chronic pain throughout her teen years and into adulthood. Throughout it all, however, dogs were a constant in her life, bringing her much joy. As an avid reader of memoirs, Debbie always said to Kelsey that someday 'something good' would come from all of the pain and suffering in her life. In all of the books that Debbie enjoyed, it seemed that the writer of the story would have 'something good' that would emerge from the tragedy they were experiencing. She was certain that would happen for Kelsey.  After Kelsey moved into her own home at the age of 27, she got a lab named Brody. Kelsey dreamed that Brody would become a therapy dog and visit nursing homes and hospitals, bringing a little joy to people living with chronic pain.  Although Kelsey's pain was not thought to be life-threatening, she died from a severe bowel obstruction before Brody was old enough to be trained. Tragically, Kelsey never realized her dream, but Brody and Debbie have been able to do so. Debbie knows she is bringing Kelsey with them on every visit she and Brody make. Although Kelsey didn't get to experience her 'something good' in life, she plays a huge part in it.

Adlai Stevenson famously eulogized Eleanor Roosevelt, saying, 'She would rather light a candle than curse the darkness.' When today's guest, Sherri, first heard this quote, she knew that she wanted it to apply to her life as well. Sherri's youngest daughter, Conni, battled through addiction and mental illness for 10 years. Sherri stayed by her side for all of that time, supporting her through the good years as well as the bad. She attended 12-step meetings with Conni and learned about addiction during Conni's low moments and celebrated with her when it seemed she was beating the addiction at last. She learned to love and support Conni while hating her addiction. Months after Conni died by intentional drug overdose, Sherri thought of that famous quote. She had a decision to make - 'I can curse the darkness or I can light a candle.' It would be so easy to want to curse the ugliness of the world when watching a loved one battle addiction. It would be easy to simply sit in darkness after your child dies by suicide. However, Sherri did not make the easy choice. She made the heroic choice to light a candle instead.  Sherri realized that her journey with Connie taught her three valuable lessons. Firstly, Sherri has far more compassion for others in pain. Secondly, she is far less judgmental of others and their actions. Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, Sherri is not afraid of ugly. She has lived through the ugliest of the ugly and is still breathing. Sherri knew that she could demonstrate to others that they can do the same. She started posting on Instagram as @itsalifeunexpected to show that it is possible to love and support people through addiction without losing yourself in the process. You see, Sherri knew that she was not going to be the last mom to watch their child battle addiction. She would not be the last mom whose child took their own life. Sherri also knew she wanted to be a light to those who would come after her. She wanted to hold a candle for them and work to light hundreds more along the path so they would not feel quite so lost and alone.

When Larry lost his son, Rob, to suicide six years ago, Larry was devasted. He immediately found a grief counselor and signed up to be in a grief support group. After two months of waiting, he attended his first support group meeting. He said he did not expect to like being in a support group, but, shortly after starting, Larry realized that he had found 'his people'. Larry felt like they could speak a language that 'ordinary' parents could not understand.  When one of the other parents in his support group wished out loud that there was a guidebook for bereaved parents, Larry felt inspired to write such a book. Larry wrote 'A Space in the Heart' (available on Amazon) as an honest guide to help bereaved parents while they are in their deepest, darkest pain. Larry writes:   "When your child is taken from you, you are no longer ordinary parents. Ordinary parents don't visit their child in a cemetery. Ordinary parents don't cry themselves to sleep at night. Ordinary parents don't wake up each morning knowing they'll never see their child again. We become extra ordinary. But after a while, something strange takes place that's right out of a Marvel comic book. A metamorphosis occurs during our grief and mourning, transforming us from extra ordinary to extraordinary. We are extraordinary parents who must go on living in the world with a hole in our hearts. We are extraordinary parents who, in many cases, still love and care for our other children. We are extraordinary parents who go to work every day and function as human beings, while most people are unaware of our secret identities. We are extraordinary parents who feel things that no ordinary parent has ever felt, and we can endure the deepest pain because that has become one of our superpowers." You may not feel like you have superpowers. You may feel weaker than you have ever been in your life, but Larry's words inspire me to hold my head a little higher. We are no longer ordinary parents. In fact, we are no longer ordinary people at all. We are extraordinary and have so much to offer the world.

I have been told that my podcast is an important part of the therapy process for many grieving parents. Today is the first time, however, that I have interviewed someone whose therapist instructed her to reach out to me and be on my podcast as a guest.  When Robyn's son, Drew (Andrew), was killed in a motorcycle accident in 2021, she was 'shocked, but not surprised.' She certainly had that shock of losing Drew, but Drew was a daredevil most of his life. He had no fewer than three accidents in the months before his death that could have taken his life, but he had miraculously walked away each time. After Drew's death, Robyn did everything she thought she should do. She started therapy. She decided to live life to its fullest and bought two kayaks to take up kayaking. She got a healthy diet plan and lost 50 pounds. She bought equipment to start her own podcast. Everyone around her said she was doing great, and from the outside, she looked like she was doing great. Her therapist, on the other hand, said, 'Robyn, you are not doing great. You are not allowing yourself to truly feel. You need to lean into your grief,' but Robyn did not listen. She kept on as she was, until eventually, she couldn't. The grief caught up with her. She needed to grieve. She started in a Compassionate Friends support group. A member of the group told her about my podcast, another 'Andrew's Mom' with a podcast. Hmm. Was this a little sign? In the meantime, Robyn had been going to her new therapist, who had been brainstorming ways that she could help others in her grief. "What about a podcast?" he suggested, "or a book?" Robyn went to her therapist one day and told him about my podcast. "So you emailed her, right?" the therapist said. "No," Robyn admitted. He suggested that she get out her phone and do it right then. She promised to instead email in the next week.  Robyn emailed me, and the rest is history. Months later, Robyn is sharing Drew's story with the world to help others heal. I am so excited to see the next steps of Robyn's journey and what this may lead Robyn to do in the days and months to come.

This week's podcast was supposed to be from a Livestream I had planned to do with Gwen earlier this week. If you follow me on Facebook, you already know that the Livestream was canceled. Gwen got very sick with Influenza A, making it impossible for her to do the Livestream. I told her not to worry at all and that I would just 'wing it' so to speak. (By the way, Gwen assures me she is beginning to feel better.) This made me think of the saying, 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.' Thinking back over the past six years since Andy died, I realize I have been forced to make a lot of lemonade. When I think back to 'the old Marcy,' I probably would have been a little panicked at the prospect of recording, putting together, and releasing a podcast episode in only two days. This is a great reminder that in many ways, this new Marcy is a better version than the old one. I don't sweat the small stuff anymore and I think that my 'winging it' produced a pretty good episode this week. During the first portion of the episode, I invited Betty to come back and talk about the 'Threads of Gold' book I have been mentioning on social media and during the last few podcasts. As a reminder, Betty and Kyle are the parents of Ella (Episode 138) who started a non-profit, Ella's Umbrella, in their daughter's memory to help fund research for congenital heart anomalies. Their newest endeavor is 'Threads of Gold' and I was thrilled to be one of twenty-six authors invited to a part of this anthology. The book tells stories of grief and loss and how we persevere through life's tragedies. The second portion of the podcast this week was extra fun for me. My dear Aunt Penny, an avid listener of the podcast, loves the episodes I have with Eric because he always makes me laugh. Every time I do a show with Eric, I learn something new from him, and I realize we should do more episodes together. Eric and I talk about how our marriage has changed since Andy died and how men grieve. We also answered a few other questions listeners have asked over the past two days.  Thank you Betty and Eric for helping make some tasty lemonade today.

I was so touched by talking with today's guest. Erin has been an elementary school music teacher for more than 10 years. Music was an important part of Andy's life, whether he was singing in the choir or playing the piano, drums, or French Horn. I often wonder how music would have shaped his future growing up. Although Andy said he wanted to be a pilot, Eric always felt he would have become a music teacher instead. Music touched him in such a special way. Andy's elementary school music teacher was important in introducing him to his love for music, so I felt drawn to Erin immediately.  Music played an important role in Erin's family life as well. After suffering from fertility struggles, Erin had a simple surgical procedure and quickly became pregnant with twins. As the twins grew, they both had Erin's love for music. They loved to dance and sing and Erin could see the joy that music brought to their lives. Then tragedy struck and 20-month-old Brennan died in his sleep a few days after being diagnosed with RSV. Erin didn't feel like she wanted to go on living. For months, Erin would go to bed at night secretly hoping that God make it so she did not wake up in the morning, but, each morning, Erin did wake up. People commented as to how strong she was, but Erin said she had no choice. She had to continue to be a wife to her husband and a mother to Avery so she kept going. This included returning to school and teaching music only days after Brennan died. Erin posted a picture of Brennan in her classroom and began to talk about him. Erin hopes that posting that picture will help others realize that she wants to talk about Brennan. In fact, I think she is an amazing example to others showing that it is healthy to talk about hard things like death, and not avoid them. People often wonder how Erin continues to work with kids every day after losing Brennan so suddenly, but Erin knows that is the best way to honor Brennan. Erin hasn't started a foundation or become a public speaker or done anything big and flashy. Erin teaches kids to love music just like Brennan did, and that is more than enough.