Podcasts about kagro

It's Infrastructure Week! The second week of razing civilization while laying a foundation of chaos, disinformation, and fear. I guess our job, with the help of David Waldman and Greg Dworkin, is to chip some away as Gops and MAGAs lay it down. Tariffs are a bad idea. Does anyone know why… Anyone? Well, everyone knows, but threatening tariffs gets airplay. So does loading up a military plane with shackled immigrants.  If the news plays them both as clips hundreds of times each day it will shortly begin to feel like a success, which is as good as anything real for these folks. Colombia, the Gem of South America, threatened Jr.'s upcoming shipment of uncut… no wait, cut flowers over tariffs threatened upon them by Trump when they complained of mistreatment in Trump's photo op deportations. Trump sees a tremendous, beautiful future for Gaza once those savage Gazans are cleared out. Of course, they can come back once their housing is built featuring world-class amenities and fine dining. Denmark was last week's Colombia, but they've notified Trump that he'll have to come through the United Kingdom to get to them. Information wants to be free, which might be why we are having trouble getting our $KAGRO memecoin off the ground. Nonetheless, plenty of millionaires have somehow become billionaires clamping down on information over the years. China has just ruined the party with an open-source AI turd in the punchbowl. Meanwhile, Sweden has decided that Russia doesn't want any information to be free to travel under the ocean off their shores. All of this should be cleared up in Trump's third term, promises Tennessee fraudster congressman Andy Ogles. That sounds a little less funny to Ohioans who remember Governor Jim Rhoades, a monster that Donald would be expected to emulate.

David “Golden Voice” Waldman mellifluously orated us through the week and off the ledge. We're on our own now, but first: President Why Don't You Just is out there just getting things done every minute. What things? Why? Don't ask him, he doesn't know and doesn't care. He has staff for that. But Trump, like any boss will tell you, is the only one getting things done around here. That's why he's ordering all the lazy good-for-nothing remote workers to get their asses back to office where someone can assistant manage them. There! His boss part is done, the rest is just details. On to California to find out why don't they just turn on the big water tap so people can flush their toilets on the fire? They could they just put immigrants on the fire line and… what? Details! What matters is that a lot gets done, whatever that might be. As long as things just get done, we can always go back and make corrections. Like the two DC cops who chased that kid with their SUV until he was run over. Pardon the cops, and as for the kid… That'll buff right out. Must bosses think of everything? It's up to teachers across the nation to figure out what to tell their children when an automatic weapon toting stranger enters a classroom and schoolmates disappear forever… and when that stranger wasn't sent by the Feds. Wielding government to annihilate woke weaponized government is tricky business. Might need to crack a lot of eggs to make that omelet. The Leopards Ate My Face party will sometimes have to accept that a certain number of faces will be eaten by leopards. Lauren Boebert went to check the genitalia of someone in the restroom and came up empty handed. Andrew Puzder's wife beating kept him from being labor secretary in 2017, but now he will be EU ambassador. Now, there's probably nothing in the way of him beating his wife. Several congressional Gops were happy to attend Cassidy Hutchinson's Jan. 6 testimony and texted her with details on how they would like to show her their happiness. Mike Johnson had to send his son an emergency boner alert.

David Waldman answers the pressing questions of today, accompanied in close harmony by Greg Dworkin. It sure is a great time to be a jackbooted thug in America. Soon there will be more prison camps than Super 8s. Experts warn that deportations threaten the US food supply. Farmers say that too. MAGA farmers could have sworn that Trump was only talking about the more “metropolitan” immigrants, but it turns out that this administration's plans are a bit more ambitious. In anticipation of the future high demand for thugs, the President tapped his strategic Jan. 6 reserve, releasing 1,500 back into the wild in hopes that they multiply. Non-thug Americans disprove of this, especially those who met any of them. Gops promise to restock the prisons as soon as possible.  Ein Hitlergruß ist ein Hitlergruß ist ein Hitlergruß, but as you'd expect, saying that in English in American media is positively verboten. “Will no one rid me of this meddlesome Bishop Budde?” pled Trump II to his subjects recently. Trump is probably at the peak of his popularity, thus the peak of his power, probably, maybe. Tech Broligarchs dream like no bro has dreamt before, of a radical future utopia where they can raise themselves high above those less forward thinkers, bringing along their portly merchants, muscular warriors… but no DEI hires!

David Waldman retains his faith in democracy and the rule of law, otherwise what would we talk about in a couple of weeks? Greg Dworkin declares this the year of FAFO. There is plenty of FA for sure as the Felon Authoritarian President gets his treason party started. Out goes anything that Biden ordered with “equity”, “lawful”, “ethics”, “civil”, “sustainable”, “inclusion”, “access”, “opportunity”, “affordable” or “trustworthy” in the title… make that anything Lyndon Johnson ordered as well, if he meant that a minority should get anything. Jackboots are now approved to kick down church and school doors. Treaties are for lighting cigars only. And if there's anyone left not screwed over… screw them too! What about the FO part? That might take some time, at least more than three days. Republicans oppose pardons for violent January 6 convicts? Oh well! Why didn't they say something earlier? Probably because they didn't know, didn't want to know, no one was about to tell them, and anyone who tries will be punished. The ones who have FO however, aren't FA anymore. Gops are so busy knowing nothing that they can't pull their Reich together. Trump just knows that Gaza will be such a beautiful place once they sweep all the dead Gazans up. Meanwhile, Elmo put his right hand in, he put his right hand out, Musk did the Honky Pokey but only Nazis want to dance with him anymore. Bros hoping to cyber up their own private Pinochet Medieval Fair stocked with hot twerking Ayn Rands are sad that the NPCs consider them “weird”.

Progress on David Waldman's memecoin, $KAGRO, is moving along slow and steady… Kidding! 15 years and we don't even have a t-shirt! In the meantime, you can show your solidarity and enthusiasm right here. Welcome to 2025... Project 2025 has commenced with President Why Don't Cha farting out whatever EOs and affixing his skid mark to most of them… maybe somebody will check. Or not. It is only a matter of time before SCOTUS decides that whatever the (this) president thinks to himself will be law until someone says differently… and who is left to say differently? People believe that Trump made $50 billion from his memecoin. He didn't, but as always it is more important to him that people believe that he did, and that he alone can. Keeping the mythos going is reason enough to let 1,500 J6 insurrectionists loose to rearm. When your lord is all-powerful, there's no limit to what you can do. Instead of a wall, Trump's declaring martial law, and Mexico will pay for it this time! (Not just any President can declare martial law, you know.) Leonard Peltier had to wait until he was 80 for freedom and it probably doesn't include a discount at the local gun shop. It is the dawn of the golden age of the broligarchy, yet some bros are sad… perhaps a cyber-Galt Gulch will finally dry their tears.

RIP, Charles “Big Chuck” Schodowski. Man, that's the end of an era that no one will ever recapture. You won't see times like that again, guaranteed. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here to interrupt each other and some of our doomthinking for a couple of hours. The thumb-in-the-eye president is back to stick his thumb in more eyes.  Voters with problems know someone else is to blame and have reelected history's greatest blame-shifter to blame those who aren't them. Sure, he'll be Lovecraftianly horrific otherwise, but on that one skill he is a virtuoso. All the rest are lies of course but lies that feel so good people will pay billions to hear them. Your goldbug friends who wanted a return to the gold standard are now going crypto which is stable somewhere between zero and infinity. A one-world coinage sounds just fine to them. Welcome to today's new gilded age, with sadly no Titanic yet spotted on the horizon. A couple of bros wanted to buy Greenland for incels and stock it with females. Donald wants a piece of that too. Rudy Giuliani doesn't have that pay to play anymore. Trump's DC hotel might reopen as the world's premiere graft speakeasy, but this time Elon's opening his international whorehouse of payola right up the street. The inaugural ass kiss lip balm concession sold out today around one o'clock. Israel trusted Bibi Netanyahu to lie to them, but some are concerned that he might have begun telling the truth lately. And, it is still Martin Luther King Jr. Day, this year.

Bob Uecker and David Lynch are hanging out together in Heaven's waiting room, laughing (slowly, and in reverse, naturally), looking down as Hell freezes over so that Donald Trump can return to the Presidency.  But... why are we still here though? Probably to listen to David Waldman on the Friday KITM. Don't turn to Republicans to answer your questions, existential or otherwise. They have all the answers, just not to the questions they've been asked. If they told you the answer they wouldn't have to kill you, but they'll wish they have had killed themselves. Joe Biden looked at his watch and just realized that he forgot to answer all the questions and fix everything. Hurry Joe! What caused Sam Harris to wake up and turn on his bro Elon Musk, other than they couldn't fit both of their heads into the same room anymore? Bro RFK Jr. isn't a part of the broligarchy on nepotism, inheritance, and psychopathy alone. He put in his time scamming rubes just like the rest of them. Paul Manafort returns to his job of being the bro of the broligarchy and dick for the dictators. Beta Mike Johnson makes certain to have all betas in chair positions before Trump comes in. Meatball Ron DeSantis sometimes doesn't do exactly what he's told but is still a good boy. In Minnesota, DFL Rep. Brad Tabke of Shakopee won reelection, but Gops seized control anyway, which would really matter if they had planned to get anything done legislatively.

Joe Biden has said farewell, but I guess David Waldman, Greg Dworkin and the rest of us will stick around out of some sort of morbid curiosity. Joe took the opportunity to warn us about what Ike warned us about, and look at how well we headed that warning. Biden also sounded the alarm on the threat of oligarchy. Of course, he probably should have added the threat of illiteracy. Oligarchies suck, but apparently not if they are run by a bro. Not as many people see Joe Biden as a bro as they used to. Definitely not as many bros as who see Trump as a bro.  For instance, Trump said that if Israel and Hamas didn't quit fighting, he'd go over there and kick somebody's ass. Worked like a charm. Middle East peace is locked in for the next thousand years or more, unless somebody screws up. If California doesn't shape up, Jim Jordan will take their 2028 Olympics and give it to Cleveland. Elon Musk used his chic oligarchic charm to free an Italian from Iranians. Meanwhile, in the Gop it isn't possible to be too dumb or drunk, but it is possible to be too macho if it shrivels the machismo of the incoming boss.

As the news desert encroaches, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin continue to serve us tasty news dessert: Pete Hegseth is on his way to be the first DEI Miltary hire of the upcoming administration. It is hard to deny Hegseth's qualifications as an authentic bona fide POS. Experience or ability would obviously distract from Pete's purity of purpose, yet being a born-again evangelical elevates Hegseth to sacrosanct untouchability. Hegseth will be the first thumb-in-the-eye member of the thumb-in-the-eye administration of the Thumb-In-The-Eye President. Greenland is thinking about rejoining the EU and should probably also make sure their NATO paperwork is up to date. Denmark wants to talk on the down low, but Trump always tells, and if he hasn't got anything to say will make it up anyhow. Sure, people have given Trump half a billion dollars for his inauguration… but what have they done for him lately? This term Trump wants no responsibility, no blame, but especially no debt. 23 thousand acres in ashes might be considered pretty bad optics for Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass, especially when she wasn't in really great shape to begin with. One thing's for certain, none of this would have happened on Honorary Mayor Bob Saget's watch! Meanwhile, in South Korea, in the course of a few months the President fomented insurrection, declared martial law, was impeached, and is now arrested, because that country has a functioning justice system.

David Waldman has a couple of things he would like to talk about today, and a couple of hours to talk about them. Pull up a chair. That SOB was guilty and got away with it again. That about sums it up, the rest are details. This time it's Special counsel Jack Smith saying it. No one has ever committed such crimes before, during, after, or before a presidency, to then be invited to an encore performance. Do you think that the J6 insurrectionist convicted of plotting to murder his FBI investigators will receive one pardon, or two? If Trump can't be found guilty of insurrection, can anybody?  If we act soon, we might be able to squeeze in a thousand impeachment proposals this term, and maybe a few hundred impeachments. Speaking of guilty SOBs, the time for intimidating and silencing Pete Hegseth's witnesses is almost over. Now the question is whether Pete is scum enough to lock in Republican votes.

While others shout into the void, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin stare into the abyss, weekdays on KITM: The inferno continues around Los Angeles, urged on by the red wind. California is finding out who their friends are, and who isn't. Some will learn something, some won't. Insurance companies are having to scrape money together to buy insurance for themselves. We dive into our own metaphorical conflagration next week. President Joe Biden rides off into the sunset, although Joe might not have let the sun set so far before he started riding. The guy taking over has no beliefs, no principles, no shame and no problem. Welcome back to the art of the deal. Jack Smith is also out of here. Aileen Cannon makes another big move to clinch this season of The Presidential Apprentice. DOGE is vaporware, but that doesn't mean that Elon won't get some fun trolling out of it. Would a blackout drunk rapist still be a hiring risk as long as he was a good Christian nationalist? That is the question hoped to be answered in soon upcoming cabinet nominee hearings. Senator Katie Britt doesn't have that answer but can describe in detail how useless corporate news has become.

TGIFKITM! David Waldman takes us to the weekend, and if we show up again on Monday, he'll start all over and do it again! Donald Trump is now a convicted and sentenced felon and yet is somehow still getting away with it.  Of course, he tried to get away with more, citing Irreparable Injury among other BS to the Supreme Court. OBVIOUSLY, that's not how the Court, laws, the Constitution work! Except… It almost did. One old white guy in a robe didn't fix things for Trump this time. Less than 10 days before he corrects that situation. I predict that Aileen Cannon will win this season of Presidential Apprentice.  But why did Trump fire the reliably loyal National Archivist Colleen Shogan? Maybe a dopamine release to his tiny vermin brain? Why does it ever have to be anything more? God continues to work in mysterious, or not so mysterious, ways. MAGA isn't about to blame God for the fires in Los Angeles when there's more money in other scapegoats, like Democratic-Jewish Space Lasers. Donald exploits all suffering to his own ends, because it feeds the pit in his soul, and because that strategy has never failed him yet. During his visit to Greenland, Donald Jr. tried his hand in exploiting the destitute, but he just doesn't have the Old Man's touch.  Gops are trying to throw out votes in all North Carolina statewide races. The Pizzagate gunman died as he lived: a dangerous lunatic. Finally, we at KITM regret to announce that Anita Bryant lived 84 years.

Yet again, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring their usual camaraderie and repartee to today's KITM. That kind of stuff is hard to fake! Today is a good day to ask ourselves, WWJCD? Probably not a single thing that will ever happen now. For people who don't like being called Hitler, MAGAs sure are into annexation lately. Greenland, Canada, Mexico and Panama have been asking for it lately, showing off their ample mineral assets, letting just anyone into their trade routes. How can they not expect to get grabbed by the canal? What does Trump get out of empty threats? The satisfaction of watching people flinch. Wildfires like hot air, so Trump is focusing his degradation and intimidation on the victims instead. California will of course have to shut off the windmills, those things just blow the fire around. Remember your shock when the Trump Supreme Court handed down its decision on Presidential immunity? Well, I hope you're sitting down when you find out what Trump and Alito are cooking up this time. Meanwhile, Elon Musk, whose sole joy in life is stirring up shit, found some in the UK in the personage of lifelong POS Tommy Robinson. In election news, Virginia's Abigail Spanberger goes right down the middle to find a one-point lead over the local extremist, while Lebanon's Joseph Aoun becomes the fifth army commander to be elected as president in multi-Islamic Lebanon, taking over the job held previously for two years by an empty chair.

David Waldman is the best at bringing us the latest on today's KITM: As we approach our National Day of Mourning, we will need to make room for a few more things to be depressed about. We say so long to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and bienvenue to Pierre Poilievre. Some might pronounce his name one way, he might a different way. Whatever, Trump will pronounce it wrong, the US House will make it a law, and previous pronunciations will be pronounced illegal. No one is above the law — except Trump. I mean, that's what he says, but he's said it for 70 years and it has worked so far. Trump will be sentenced on Jan. 10 according to Justice Juan Merchan, but what does he know? Merchan's just a judge, and Trump has many reasons, all pulled right out of his pre-presidential butt, on why he shouldn't. Same goes for Jack Smith's final report. Smith sounds like a guy who knows the law, but he also sounds like a guy who wants some time in Gitmo. Remember when we could have done something about this? It must have been the working-class anxiety or something… In sports news, The Pope's first round draft choice Robert McElroy has been traded from the San Diego Padres over to the Washington Cardinals.

David Waldman brings us to the first Friday and the first weekend of the year… and look who he brought with him! Distinguished Professor Ian Reifowitz is here and is well on his way to be a millionaire, or should be, considering his output of scholarly literature, including an upcoming tome on how stereotypes are used to drive political rhetoric and thus policy. the topic of which was discussed in relation to that unfortunate outcome of the recent election. Recent second-guessing in Dem circles warns against coming off like some distinguished professor when talking to potential voters. James Carville reminds Democratic candidates to KISS — Keep It Stupid for the Simples. Republicans have learned to simplify further by honing any statement down to an uncomplicated all-purpose lie. How does corporate media plan to counter this? They're going to try rolling over and showing their tummy and see how that works. Elon Musk plans to sue facts that disagree with him. On his site, with a tap of a button Elon can agree with anything he says... What could be stopping him from just authoring the post of anyone from this point? Humility? Mark Zuckerberg has it all figured out. Mark is replacing his problematic social media users with friendly AI bots! AI profiles are ready to get into prolonged frustrating arguments with already established trollbots and disagreebots, unless they get distracted by engagementbots or pornbots... Back in the “real world”, the 119th Congress is waiting for Mike Johnson to get his act together, at least long enough to squeak back into his rubberstamp position. Democrats have an opportunity to dare to do great things… or just goof around, and we know the likelihood of them doing either.

He's back! Greg Dworkin has been MIA at KITM since sometime last year and had been absent half of 2025 before ringy-dingying back in like nothing ever happened. (Actually, he acted like a lot happened and was keen to tell David Waldman and us all about it.) Facts are still coming in on the New Orleans truck attack, but who needs any more facts once the perp's complexion has been verified? And then, his mom named him Shamsud-Din Jabbar! Jabbar might have acted alone, been in the military, been born in the United States, but oh that name… Fox News will tell you that just has to be illegal. Trump is ready to make Tijuana the next Bagdad over all this. Then another military man took another rental EV truck and… Wait, he's a white guy named Matt? That's confusing! Well, self-immolation in a pickup full of firecrackers does seem uniquely American, and it was a Tesla so (Deleted by request of the KITM Legal Department) Then there's 150 pipe bombs found in a Virginia man's home, but his name's Brad, and he's the goodest of good ol' boys, never meaning no harm, just target practicing on Joe Biden cutouts. Expect a bit more empathy for this one… those pipe bombs were probably for pesky little beavers. Americans haven't been this united since the Civil War in their shared belief of the lack of institutional resources to handle the other folks, although half of us expect that the guy they elected is all the resource they will ever need. Kek-ek-ek-ek-ek! Gluteus Maximus has changed his name to Kekius. Other than the direct fascist, alt-right and Nazi references, what could Elon Musk mean? Elon's humor, like his political stances, is just so enigmatic! Isn't it so weird how the world's richest incel gamerboi became a supervillain? Vivek Ramaswamy has become Elon's OddJob. If only we had Jimmy Carter to get rid of these parasites.

David Waldman welcomes us to 2025, a year so nasty they named a Christofacist masterplan after it. 2024 was pretty stupid, but not half as stupid as the journalists we listened to, nor half as stupid as they will be.  The vibe for the year was set early on Bourbon Street in New Orleans when a driver, or at least his pickup truck, killed and injured dozens. Later, his weapon discharged, then police discharged theirs, and the resulting corpse will be charged with terrorism... of course. Obviously, that is a “terroristic” act, like shooting a CEO, and should be treated as such. The largest homemade explosives cache in FBI history was recently discovered in Virginia, but that's kind of a gray area in terms of terrorism.  After all, the dude was only shooting at Joe Biden silhouettes, and Kash Patel can tell you all about that “FBI”. And you might think that a guy planning to cut off drinking water to a million people unless they meet his demands would be considered a supervillain, let alone a terrorist, yet people will call him “Governor” this year. Ken Paxton's deputy is getting away with it, as is Ken Paxton. Donald Trump will be going to Jimmy Carter's funeral to demonstrate to the world that you can't make him not go. The Gop Congress is collectively holding out their Johnson to impress Trump, but Donald is notoriously fickle.  After all, Trump used to hate TikTok when he thought it was for entertainment, but once it became the premier site for micro-algorithmic disinformation dissemination, it won his heart.  

David Waldman is about done with 2024 but isn't that into 2025. Maybe we can find an alternative? KITM World Headquarters uses pure green energy from the plutonium stored in the core of our volcano lair, but for the many who do not have that luxury, the nationwide power grid is under tremendous strain as AI data centers suck up huge amounts of power and distort the normal flow of electricity for millions of Americans. Eliminating federal regulations would not seem to be the way to go, but here we are, eager to become serfs to a mad king as long as he is as mad as us. A problem with being a “Me First” nation is that “They” are sometimes you. Elon Musk was recently shocked to discover that there was a “They” other than him. In fact, on exTwitter, many of them are actually… him. In fact, how can anybody ever be certain they aren't all him, as he can be any one of them with a tap of a button? Meanwhile, South Korea has approved the arrest of President Yoon Suk Yeol, whom they've already impeached. Russia has a shadow fleet of ships employed to evade sanctions, so why not have them multitask in espionage and sabotage while they're out there?

David Waldman is back today, eager to devote no time at all to the brewing Beyoncé controversy. Has there been a better president than Jimmy Carter? Or a better Christian? Husband? Person? Jimmy Carter saved people from nuclear cataclysm. Jimmy Carter saved people from parasitic onslaught. Jimmy Carter saved people from the weather. Jimmy Carter was the best, which is of course, what a lot of people had against him. The thing is, mediocrity has much more leeway than greatness, so much more flexibility in terms of self-respect and ethics… and strength in numbers. Now look where we are. The best that the incoming president can say of Carter is that Jimmy was a “president”, as any other comparison would be one even he'd be embarrassed to make. Back in our present idiocracy, Trump would rather go to Canada, Greenland, or Panama than listen to this shithole's problems any longer. My suggestion is for these countries to throw a few parties for BRICS members to see how they like the chocolate cake over at their places. Trump could save TikTok, but it would depend upon whether the Supreme Court has the guts to make decisions outside of laws or the Constitution, for the benefit of America, that is, China. The people who say America First but mean “whites first” are fighting with the people who say America First but mean “money first”. Trump wants none of that argument as he knows that America First has always meant “me first”.

Looking for a fun family activity in-between/right in the middle of the holidays? How about a visit to the zoo? By which we mean, of course, a visit to The Two Pennsylvanias: Eastern PA, where “prosperity gospel”-inspired Latinos are buying the Trump humbug, and; Western PA, where less-than-prosperous white voters are buying the Trump humbug. (The second story, by the way, invokes the old “why are we paying to study [something stupid-sounding] trope that should always be answered properly, even though a proper answer rarely matters.) But if you really want to drive yourself crazy, consider this academic paper-level analysis of why Dems are losing touch with average voters. What could be more ironic? Look, I know that doesn't make any logical sense. But does anything make logical sense, anymore? Does it matter? I don't know! But I do know that, at least for this weekend, you'll be able to enjoy watching the MAGA coalition fight on Twitter. Which is hilarious, because Twitter is actually one of the combatants in this. Over on the other side of the ocean, it seems like the Baltic flashpoint is something we'll have to keep an eye on. Here's some more about the situation brewing between Russia, Finland and Estonia. And the Cook Islands. And Germany, if not all people named Pistorius or something similar. And, just because we have to start preparing, we make another of what will likely be several attempts to get through a granular survey of WTF will the 119th Congress be like?

Happy holidays! Have yourself a merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, winsome Kwanzaa, and a rip-roaring Boxing Day listening to David Waldman on today's KITM. It's Beyoncé's world, but she will allow us to be entertained by her. It's Trump's America, and he will allow us to have a democracy for as long as it pleases him. He will even allow God, as long as he gets a piece of the action. The 119th Congress will be a lot like the 118th, except that the president is a sociopathic megalomaniacal dictator wannabe, and his buddy Donald Trump's a jerk too. House Speaker Mike Johnson might have his work cut out for him, or not… if he does the right thing. Trump picked his ambassador in charge of manifest destiny in Panama. Kevin Marino Cabrera might hope to learn something in his new job, but he might be wise to not learn too much. Today's overseas news is also Finland and Estonia's overseas news. Finland suspects an oil tanker dragging its anchor caused a communications cable break.  but we really know who Finland suspects. Finland teaches their school children how to spot misinformation. Hopefully they can teach us as our State Department unit in charge of identifying and tracking foreign propaganda has been Eloned.

David Waldman did not present KITM “live” this morning. He presented a special “live-like” pre-recorded KITM, but he presented it in 2016, the last Christmas on which we faced the unknown of a looming Trump term in office. And as we asked then, hey—what better way to address the unreality of the media world that created the character moving into the White House?  The Apprentice seemed to be “reality” simply because it was labeled as “reality TV”, and originally the show, and the character of “Donald Trump”, were designed as comedy. Once audiences started believing the “reality” of “The Apprentice”, and “Donald Trump”, it wasn't so funny anymore. David looks at how the reality was manipulated on The Apprentice, and how it is really not funny anymore. Now, the government is casting regulars just like a TV show.  That doesn't mean that the Trump team is neglecting their twin goals of destroying government and enriching themselves. White House counsel pick Donald F. McGahn will defend the swamp by promoting agency dysfunction through gridlock and delay. At the DOJ, civil rights lawyers prepare themselves to take on the Least Racist Person in America. You might have heard it first in those Jade Helm 15 emails from your uncle, but discover it second here: A Clinton-era directive for natural disaster relief is enabling militarized police to come down on you, hard. The War on Christmas has been won, except for the continuing battles on the War on Jews. A white supremacist website calls for reinforcements in Montana.

Political chaos meets holiday chaos this week. We will have Christmas Eve, then Christmas, and Hanukkah, then Boxing Day with David Waldman battling contender Jake or maybe Ron Paul, then Friday… and that's almost the weekend! So who knows what could happen?   Our transcendent question this week: Which Superman is the greatest?  It is, of course, Kirk Alyn, obviously. However, it seems  that 30 million nerd-ragers beg to differ. Nothing drives engagement better than an argument, therefore it was inevitable that the solution and cause of all of our future problems, Artificial Intelligence, would soon be dispatched in the form of “argue-bots”. Now all we need are infinite AI “defend-my-argument-bots” launched against those, and social media should be sucked up its own singularity. Human argue-bot Trump would start a fight with a pile of rocks if he could. If we hadn't elected him F'n President he would have filled his day with Gunn vs. Snyder arguments. Now he's content with threatening to annex Canada, Greenland, and Panama. (It seems that Poland and Crimea have been taken.)  President Joe Biden commuted 37 death sentences that Donald had looked forward to… Oh well, plenty more where they came from. The faster Trump can be Stalin, the happier Curtis Yarvin and his many followers in the upcoming  administration  will be. The House Ethics report on Matt Gaetz is out, and other than the statutory rape, payments to prostitutes and illegal drug use Matt seems like a smart choice for Attorney General. Expect Matt to issue a rebuttal on Cameo soon. Justice Clarence Thomas did fail to disclose a lot of stuff, and will fail to disclose much more, but has been recently caught on a few new ones. Honsan? Hissan? Nissanonda? Nissan and Honda are a couple now. Our lone point of stability, Greg Dworkin did show up, at least for today, with news of the DNC Chair election, which promises to be the beginning of our refuge from chaos.

David Waldman finally gets to complete a countdown! The US has only hours to go before it runs out of funding. Donald is trying to blame Joe, or Chip or maybe even Mike, but big boss Elon knows who's really responsible… himself! It's his most based lulz yet! After tomorrow, no more money, except essential services, disaster relief, Mars missions, Russian yacht maintenance.… Nothing else! Fascism was bad in the 1930s and 40s.  Could it be better this time… with AI? AI can lie faster, backtrack quicker, and deflect more effectively than any human can hope to, even with Maggie Haberman's assistance. Of course, a tool for lying is still only a tool, Trump is an artist. When it comes to taking out Liz Cheney, why worry about the lives of other lies?  So, how does the Resistance fight this? With FAFO – Focused Action, Focused Objectives… or you know, turn on, tune in, drop out.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin help us face the challenges of our rapidly changing world through the power of cheery repartee. Following his election win by 98 points or so, has D embarked upon a retribution tour or an authoritarian spree? Well, it turns out that retribution is only one of the many perks of authoritarianism.  Trump is now suing retired pollster Ann Selzer because she got on his bad side, but also because it's fun. Liz Cheney actually made him really mad, so she is in for far more than a little civil suit. As always, we can be thankful for Republican incompetence and rats-in-a-cage instincts. Congress has struck a deal to avert government shutdown, while Trump allies are busy trying to doge the deal. If they want a circular firing squad, the least Dems could do is offer to help pass the ammunition. (Follow Matt Glassman on Blue Sky.) Victoria Spartz, Queen of Chaos, hopes to be the Joe Manchin this time even as John Fetterman gives her a run for the title. Good news: France has passed its stopgap budget bill! Now they can pay the guy who lifts the flag in Syria. (Follow Charles Lister on Threads.) German Chancellor Olaf Scholz has lost a vote of confidence in the German parliament. Not so good news for Olaf, but also pretty bad for Germany and the rest of the free world. Finger pointers in Germany run the risk of running out of fingers. If members of the traffic light coalition can get along, maybe we all can. You'd think that hunters firing up into the sky would be aiming at drones but no, they were hunting flying bears. It didn't turn out well for any of the participants.

It's Tuesday, and David Waldman finds himself again in front of the KITM Microphone, and we find ourselves listening. Isn't it nice how some things just work out? Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez lost in the House Democrats' Steering and Policy Committee vote to lead the House Oversight Committee to Rep. Gerry Connolly, as AOC apparently proved no match for Gerry's high-energy boyish charm and… wait, I have been told that Gerry Connolly is actually some moustache and pair of dentures who's been around for 20 years holding his place in line… Yes, it does seem that seniority is highly valued by those senior citizens who still wield the levers of power, although wielding a TV remote might be too big an ask… Nonetheless, AOC still has hope and is still out there fighting for the position. David reminds us to follow the money if we want to see the way things could and should go… and yet that also would lead one to see AOC as the frontrunner... Ah well, perhaps the young up-and-commers should wait until they're a bit more elder out-and-goers before they take the reins. Other countries have found different solutions to rotating out their personnel. The German government will follow France's lead and will now try collapsing for a spell. South Korea and Canada are looking a little winded as well. You know who's living his best life? The guy who sees life as a zero-sum game. He'll now probably sue Judge Juan Merchan for a billion dollars. Many MAGA trust that Trump will be the lying SOB that they elected. Some hope and pray that he will be. Most quit caring before they pocketed their voting booth pen. That pretty much only leaves us to give a damn that Alexander Smirnov pleaded guilty to framing Joe and Hunter Biden for Burisma. Or that the Fox weekend host's bodyguard likes to beat up Mexican-looking Middle Easterners… or Middle Eastern-looking Mexicans, whatever. Or that his one low-silicone daughter's baby daddy's baby daddy's net worth is set to rise from the lower single digit to the lower nine digits over the next four years. Abundant Life Christian School went against each of the principles in its name until a bad 15-year-old with a gun's shooting spree was stopped by a good 12-year-old with a cellphone. Expect that kid caught with the cellphone to face strict discipline.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin figure out the latest news, opinions, and where to scrape up the $1 million for that check that we need to send out at the end of the month. Hamas admits that their decision to attack a gathering of left-wing Israelis on October 7 couldn't have turned out worse if Bibi came up with the idea himself. President Joe Biden takes credit for Bashar al-Assad's sudden Russian vacation and might even bomb a few ISIS on his way out. Remember Joe Biden? Remember the Democrats? Whatever happened to those guys? They spent $5 billion in ads to get people interested in honest government when it seems that people just want to see results, whether or not the results are honest, or advantageous. Dems just forgot to cater to the simple, stupid. Therefore, expect a lot of “why don't cha” legislation, like getting rid of making people set their clocks ever again. Smart fascists microtarget their masses these days to save cash. All of this running around looking busy, still takes money however, and they'll be running out of that this week. France's Macron as well is being forced to do the big things over the little things as incrementalism is tossed out around the globe. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez wants to lead the House Oversight Committee but will have to go through Nancy Pelosi to get it. Meanwhile, Tiffany Trump's baby daddy daddy works for his own father-in-law at a company turning a mid 5 figure profit, so he'll be making a big move up if he can hang out with Jared Kushner and learn a thing or two.  Trump advisor Alex Bruesewitz, the guy who started the whole "Haitians are eating pets" thing, must have picked the wrong entree at the Young Republicans Gala, passing out on stage. Trump called in to assure Alex, “Izzim a good boy? Yes! Alex izza good boy!” (Their catering choice could have been worse.)

David Waldman is here with the Friday KITM, and also somewhere else entirely, all through the magic of “technology”…  And, now for our discussion of “cryptocurrency”: How big a scam is cryptocurrency? It is so big that Eric Trump promises that his dad will become the most procrypto president in the history of America. Crypto, in fact could be the ultimate pyramid scheme, as it's multilevel marketing with no levels, just a big pile of cash going to first person who grabs it when the other suckers' greed makes them hold out too long. It's perfect, all of the overhead is paid by chumps who believe all the others will be the chumps! Its only possible enemy could be regulation…  That would be the Securities and Exchange Commission, who will soon be shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in this establishment. That is, if there were someone to regulate them. It seems that someone just might be the “Person of the Year”, recently witnessed sharing the parable of The Poor Woman and the Three Apples to his followers gathered inside of the national Temple of Money Changers. Why would Trump choose the low bar of being this country's Mao, when he can aim for Ceasar, or higher? Meanwhile, pity the poor Democrats fighting for President Joe Biden's legacy. Think of the history Joe could make as the President who finally helped achieve certification for the Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution!

David Waldman knows what tomorrow's pre-recorded KITM is about but isn't telling.  He trusts Greg Dworkin to keep mum, but didn't tell me because everyone knows I'd just blab it all to you… like this: Luigi Mangione was not selected as Time “Person of the Year”.  Luigi might not get another chance as why have another “Person of the Year” after this one? Why have another “year” after this one? Dictator cosplay is just like real as long as enough people believe. In fact, that is how all dictatorships work. (Follow Ben Wikler on Threads.) Trump appointed Governor-Senator Kari Lake as director of Voice of America. Well, he can't do that, but he did. Not enough people clapped to keep South Korean President Yoon Suk Yeol aloft. Opposition parties will just keep impeaching him until it sticks. Yoon caught social media brain rot, a disease plaguing the entire world. Still-President Joe Biden commuted 1,500 sentences and issued 39 pardons yesterday. KITM staff aren't included, but still hopeful. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is poised to become the top Democrat on the House Oversight Committee. Ideology might not drive money, but it is best if it doesn't turn it down. The North Carolina Gop traded hurricane relief for Democratic power… and MTG thought Dems created hurricanes! In Washington, Gops want two reconciliation bills, prosperity for things they like, austerity for things they don't. Bulletin: Nighttime invaders have been sighted in the skies over Grovers Mill, New Jersey.  Reports indicate that Homeland Security has become involved as a State Senator calls for a state of emergency. More reporting as this story develops. The majority of Brexit voters are getting tired of the “Brexit” part of that Brexit thing that they voted for. "Catherine's Learning Barn” is in remembrance of Sandy Hook school victims, and a celebration of their ideals.

Ah, the dawn of a bright new beautiful Monday! Well, somewhere, I guess. How about we take David Waldman and Greg Dworkin and check out some other countries for a while, for a breather? Ordinarily, we would not be looking to the Middle East for inspiration, but suddenly Syria is standing for freedom. You'd hardly know about it from the American mainstream media… you'd hardly know anything from them… but there's plenty of other sources to discover at Blue Sky, Threads, and you know… others. At exTwitter, there's Tammam Aloudat's positive assessment. There's Alex Simon's appraisal of the Syrian prison “system”. Threads has Charles Lister with the international repercussions emanating from Syria's takeover by rebel forces. Blue Sky has more than just savvy individuals as well, it has an excellent news search. Then there's Romania. Romania, Romania, rhymes with Albania, which makes it easy to remember their tasty food, bawdy cooks, NOT chrome, and now election integrity, following a presidential vote recount after discovering Russian interference. Ok, that's the good news. Here are the takeaways from D's Meet the Press interview, which unfortunately did not conclude with him being taken away. The kakistocracy has already filled the bowl up to the seat but isn't close to stopping. The world's most powerful traffic court lawyer, Alina Habba raises the number of blond leggy presidential advisors to “Austin Powers” levels. Journalist David Corn moves up a dozen slots on the administration shitlist with his history of Kash Patel, future director of the US Staatssicherheit.

David Waldman counts the days until our next big national funding crisis. Crises more than two weeks off seem like science fiction, don't they? Won't we have solved it with AI by then? AI might be a lousy search engine, but it will argue with you as well as any idiot. “Giving a woman an orgasm on purpose is gay” is not AI, but an actual idiot's opinion. AI also could never have predicted what really motivated economically anxious Republicans in the election. President Joe Biden will hopefully prioritize KITM staff pardons, but Liz Cheney and Anthony Fauci are probably first in line. The "Deny, Defend, Depose" shooter is still at large, flashing his dashing Gyllenhaalian smile while cleverly changing his backpack color, number of coat pockets, and means of transportation to elude the authorities, as ballads are sung of his exploits. We are reminded that it's unseemly to pattern one's social movement on the acts of law breakers. Now someone else at United Healthcare will need to sign off on hundreds of millions in ransomware payments. Devout breeder Elon Musk isn't quite a devout Christian but is ok with you worshiping him. Elon sits at the right hand of Trump, because he outbid all of the other saviors. Musk spent $20 million on a fake “RBG” PAC, because the only thing more important that control to Elon is trolling. Trump's working on the budget as well, helping weed out any funding not going to an Elon Musk venture, even if it means firing Louis DeJoy. Instead of a gold standard, perhaps we can base our economy on pump and dumping meme stocks? Hawk Tuah! House Republicans blocked release of the Matt Gaetz ethics report, because they can.  Democratic Representative Sean Casten might still force them to release it, though.

Is this nation on the wrong track? David Waldman and Greg Dworkin discuss all the ways we have derailed. except for any new wreckage this afternoon, which we'll get to tomorrow. Whatever you have on your Dems failure bingo card, you can't count Silicon Valley. The made billions off of Democrats, now they are making billions off of Republicans. America has always been at war with Eastasia, Canada. America has always been at war with Eurasia, Mexico. They are our greatest allies, except that we are at war with them. Sacrifices need to be made in these times of war. Manhattan 5th floor windows are locked shut at this time of year. UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson was shot dead on 6th Avenue. Presidential Apprentice has been rebooted due to a slight popular demand, and as sequels tend to go, it promises to be much more and much worse. The Biden White House had zero exciting indictments, convictions, or even rapists, as if it was American Idol hosted by Ted Lasso. This time, contestants exit in shame when they're deemed not vile enough to compete. Right now, the season is Kash Patel's to lose. Kash will trim the FBI down to Scully and Mulder and assign them to a full-time investigation of the incoming secretary of defense Tater Tot Ron Desantis crime family. Ron is replacing nominee Pete Hegseth, who has been implicated in a sex scandal with almost every woman in America. South Korean President Yoon Suk Yeol imposed martial law. Before morning, the South Korean State Council lifted the order. Go to bed South Korea, you're drunk! They'll probably impeach him by afternoon, as they are a lot more efficient over there. And in Syria they recross the killing fields that they have crossed many times before.

Ok, so what matters again? David Waldman helps us ponder that today. In a couple of weeks, the government runs out of funding, which is the goal of course, but all too early in the midst of the Christmas shopping and inauguration bribing season. Then comes tariff season, which slides right into trade war season, which soon becomes real war season, and before you know it, we won't need to go to austerity, austerity will have come for us. That is, it'll come for anyone Kash Patel hasn't already come for. Or any of the rest of the posse heading to the roundup. Trump lamprey Dinesh D'Souza has moved on from 2,000 Mules, to become the administration Riefenstahl, or perhaps scribe for Patel's Littlefinger. It is impossible to be too corrupt for the upcoming administration, but Pete Hegseth keeps trying to make it happen. Pete, a notorious womanizer because of all his rapenizing, is also a crusader for Crusading, and any other war crimes not covered by religion. Joe Biden did not pardon his son, Hunter. But he would have even if Kash Patel wasn't nominated, or Kamala would have... or even Trump, because who doesn't love Hunter? Chinese Crypto Magician Justin Sun ate a banana in front of reporters while $18 million magically appeared in Trump's pocket. So that's it for the rule of law… following shame into the abyss. “The most corrupt cop in history” apparently didn't get the memo. All we have left is procedure, and who knows how long that will last.

David Waldman returns from the long… well, normal, weekend… wishing that he hadn't let those other two days slip by without a KITM.  Everyone will just need to listen twice as hard to help catch up. Yesterday, Joe Biden blew his reelection chances for 2028, pardoning his son Hunter Biden, which is the kind of outrageous thing his predecessor would have done, and that his successor will do. In fact, Joe's successor is kind of mad he didn't get to miscarriage that justice some first. Some of D's previous pardons were so tremendous, he might need to do them a few more times. You can bet that he'll pardon just about any recidivist he can find this time around. Meanwhile, a few generations of Dems have discovered that going high has actually been leading with their chin.  Joe needs to issue a few thousand more pardons before he goes out, and Kash Patel and his next twelve recess-appointed successors come in. Or perhaps Kash will be recess-appointed twelve times; it might take him a while to rout the Deep State. Greg Dworkin's Handbasket of Hellish Cabinet Choices overflows with Pete Hegseth, established expert in financial mismanagement, sexual impropriety, and personal misconduct. A disappointment and embarrassment to his mother, he probably makes his grandma sick. Elon Musk's AI turns on him, but why not one of his cars, maybe a robot or a missile or two? At least Bernie still likes him. Anti-Affordable Care Act provisions protecting rights to health care choices are now protecting abortion rights. Thanks Obama! Small subgroups of the population seem much larger to many Americans than they really are. (Not me. I'm snugly embubbled between the two largest concentrations of “subgroups” in Ohio.) Oh man, right when the Middle East was completely stabilized, something new goes haywire. Rebels have attacked Aleppo in Syria, which is Trump's fault probably. Saudi Arabia now pivots… to Saudi Arabia.

David Waldman brings us a Door-Busting Black Friday KITM! The D 2.0 post-truth post-satire post-irony administration has scored its first historically tremendous victory by imposing massive tariffs upon Mexico, who then unilaterally surrendered, finally closing their open border and ceasing all of their fentanyl shipments. You can believe or not believe that, or even present facts or logic to contradict it... Go ahead. If there is any “reality” left anymore, political reality could even stymie it for a while. Or... maybe the point of our new government isn't to get anything done, but to villainize and foment hatred against all government, using the government mechanisms of public meetings and hearings to put names and faces to their enemies to keep the mad money flowing. Their enemy list will grow longer of course, but that leaves more power and money for the ones who remain. Happy holidays!

Happy Thanksgiving! We were live on the air for the holiday today, although by “we” I mean me, and by “on the air,” I mean streaming over the Internet. Also, by “live,” I mean except for the pre-recorded segment on Christian nationalists hiding behind their long-standing school privatization scheme, submitted by Michigan correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor. Trump's threatened tariffs were put to their first test yesterday: the test of whether or not they're fake, that is. Evidence strongly (very strongly strongly) suggests they are. “We” also take the opportunity to remind you that for some strange reason, Sen. Cynthia Lummis (R-WY) is considered Congress' “crypto queen.” More importantly, we're meant to understand that this is the root of the next round of crypto corruption. Speaking of the next round of corruption, you already know that Every Republican Accusation is a Confession.™ So here's another confession: Don Jr. is now doing all the things they said Hunter Biden was doing with Burisma. You also already know that Trump's flouting the norms on background checks. On top of that, he's befouling the transition process by refusing to sign the routine ethics pledge, which he actually did sign last time (though to no avail). Is there anything to do about any of it? Well, there's one suggestion: Biden can initiate background checks for them. Sort of as a favor, you know? That way, he can focus on the mandate he doesn't have, for the agenda he denied having. Gaetz has been gotz. But Pete Hegseth is still skulking around. Reports are that there are Republicans who are genuinely unhappy about that, too. (And with good reason!) Still, there are some bizarre interpersonal nuances in Congress and party politics which mean the reaction to Hegseth and other abominable Cabi-nut picks could go either way. Rudy Giuliani's best, last hope is that he thinks things could co either way for him, too. But it's starting to look like there's only way way to go: down. As in… the drain. Or toilet.

Hey kids, it's Tuesday and David Waldman is here to lead our Camp KITM Sing-Along:  Second verse, same as the first, a little bit louder and a whole lot worse! Upcoming confirmation hearings for Pam Bondi will reveal the intrinsic corruption, looming danger... etc. etc. Scales will fall from eyes that tune into… Spinco, or some such. Ok, so 25% tariffs go on Mexico and Canada if our drug and immigration problems aren't fixed. Well, FAFO, as we used to say 2016-2020, in between posting “But Her Emails!” memes. Good times. Once again, a new group of backstabbing villains gather to loot as much as they can and yet find that they don't get along. As usual, it's all good as long as the boss gets the two scoops of ice cream. Boris Epshteyn is a double dipper. No one is sure how evil Brooke Rollins will be. Sometimes, you have to play your evil rookies off the evil bench. Citizens United is the funniest joke Elon Musk has ever heard, and one of the cheapest laughs he'll ever buy. How does Natalie Harp do it? Sweetie 2.0 has a lock on the ear and rear of all that matters to her. 

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin aren't going to Mar-a-Lago, that SOB can come up here if he wants to apologize. MAGA doesn't math. How many immigrants are there? How many illegal? How much voter fraud? What's a “mandate”?  How do tariffs work? What egg prices? Climate, crime, energy, pandemic… MATH! The numbers spin around their heads like birds. Education is their existential threat, although they still see some use in it for their kids, maybe. D still hasn't signed the ethics agreement required for presidential transition because who wants to do all that math and figure out who's pocketing what? Nobody on his side, that's for sure. Over on the loser side, they can easily do the math on how many days they have left, because those happen to be some pretty small numbers. On the winning side, it's a gold rush. Pam Bondi doesn't have Matt Gaetz levels of cringe or cosmetic surgery, but don't worry, she will. Kelly Loeffler may be the most corrupt in the upcoming cabinet (or the most temporary), Tulsi Gabbard could be the most dangerous, but who's counting? Auditions are still ongoing for The Apprentice 2.0. Meanwhile, we're winning on abortion rights so far. Let's build on that.

David Waldman counts the days up from the future leader of the free world's felony conviction as we count down the days until the words felony and conviction legally require quotation marks. In 29 days, there will be the first of several attempts to drown the government in a bathtub. However, there's only hours until the weekend! Years before D lied to his voters, he just lied to people. Matt Gaetz was of course lied to, and of course part of a bigger lie. The truth will come out when Matt finally wears out his usefulness. Notorious dog rustler and foreclosure fraudster fluffer Pam Bondi will now find Gaetz' cabinet member Botox and spray tan discounts, along with maybe a little something extra in her Christmas stocking, maybe a lot of something if she plays her cards right. Marjorie Taylor Greene has now stuck around long enough to become the doyenne of Congressional headcases and announced liaison to the super-geniuses at the Department of Purging Excellence. Sure, Marge is a moron, but how smart does one need to be, to be Elon's federal rubber stamp and designated waterboarder of Anthony Fauci? Do you know how RFK Jr. falsely denied his connection to a deadly measles outbreak in Samoa? He lied. Get over it, like you'll be getting over a lot of things soon. A Trump judge canceled the overtime pay for millions coming in for the millions calling in sick. Meanwhile, droves of Haitians flee their shithole country… to return to Haiti.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here today, and that's something, isn't it? Think, what do Hillary Clinton and Kamala Harris have in common? Well, they're both women who… Whoa, whoa, whoa! It seems we Libs are already off on the wrong track! The answer is, as always, economic anxiety.  Just ask any cornered last minute swing voter if bigotry or fear or economic anxiety swayed them, and of course they'll tell you it was economic anxiety all along. After all, it is the singular topic that the trad wife and bro casters have been talking nonstop about… Right? (I don't know, I have a life, so I don't listen.) Your new administration, however, has listened to everyone's concerns and will address all of your economic anxiety like nothing you've seen. Chock full o' cabi-nuts are now standing by to make America everything it deserves to be... as soon as they score a piece. According to police reports, Pete Hegseth dry humped a Republican women's conference event before serving a Jason Miller cocktail to a Jane Doe who attempted to prevent him from doing his patriotic duty. Meanwhile, Linda McMahon is set to shatter the glass cellar floor, joining her husband and Jim Jordan in looking the other way while men and boys under her supervision were assaulted. And Matt Gaetz… everybody hates Matt Gaetz, including Matt Gaetz, who has decided that his own behavior is too reprehensible to describe in public. Non-sexual abuse solutions to economic anxiety include Tulsi Gabbard, who even gives Nikki Haley the ick, and … drum roll please… Dan Bongino, who will cut everything from the Secret Service, other than those first two initials. Marjorie Taylor Greene, now most seasoned, experienced, and wise compared to everyone else in this paragraph, will lead a subcommittee executing the whims of Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy's Department of Purging Employees. By the way, the president does have unrestrained constitutional power to withhold funds, you just don't understand how pre-wrong you've been on the subject yet.

Are you on Bluesky yet? That's where all of the serious political players have been going lately. David Waldman came over on the Mayflower. Greg Dworkin looks as if he might hold onto the last bit of flotsam sinking into the ex-Twitter vortex, but even he is eyeing the Bluesky lifeboats.  “Unpopular opinion” as the engagement farmers say at Threads, but I like Threads more… Engagement bait is sort of… engaging to me and Bluesky kind of felt like it had a stick up its collective butt. Popularity might change that exclusivity. Well, as I have been saying, Republicans have been exploiting an increasing technological and hardball gap, and it's time to catch up. Cabinet appointments will be made to those who sound as if they can best destroy them, or at least further shake public opinion towards them. Linda McMahon will have Americans question the value of a good education. Pete Hegseth will erode people's faith in our military, our country and in God. And Matt Gaetz will tackle our concept of innate humanity and intelligence. Liberals believe that there is nothing that can't be cured with a good, thorough, explaining. The corollary to that belief is that ignorant people will be punished through their ignorance... eventually, somehow. No, those folks may be ignorant, but they're not stupid. They've rebuilt all of their institutions to reinforce and congratulate themselves against any onslaught of reality. A couple of million of other people's lives will hardly put a dent in that.

David Waldman delivers the Tuesday KITM. We're still calling it “Tuesday”, right? It feels like we've already begun our 4-year long day of chaotic sludge. Perhaps if we didn't make it all about him, but about what he's doing, we would be able keep our head above the surface this time. Elon Musk also makes it all about himself, but no one needs two assholes, not even Alex Jones. This time the White House will be called “Mar-a-Lago North, Your Sex Party Headquarters”. Every cabinet meeting will be a toga party. Pete Hegseth believes that wives can't be raped, nor the comatose. Matt Gaetz believes that age is just a number — Giggity! RFK Jr. will bring his legendary stamina to bear… but will be that guy at the orgy telling everybody what not to eat.