Podcasts about kagrox

David Waldman pines for the Virginia fjords around this time of year and can only deny his wanderlust two more hours before this three-day weekend.  Generalissimo Donald K. Trump will keep hosting military parades until everyone salutes. The Navy version should have better floats of course and will feature dancing Sea Cadets, escorting the beautiful new giant Ashli Babbitt balloon, along with musical guest Gloria Gaynor riding on the Robert E. Lee memorial float, brought to you by that “King of Beers”, Pete Hegseth. ICEISIS are icing themselves out. You can now spot them by looking for the “47” tattoo next to their “88”. You knew that with the Trump administration it'd be only a matter of time before there would be a Federal Boob Inspector. Speaking of Tatas, Anthony Tata, retired brigadier general, practicing racist Islamophobe, and acting Pentagon lacky, has been connected in a few ways to the internet's most notorious astrologer, Amy Tripp. If New Jersey got rid of Alina Habba when they should have, they wouldn't be in the trouble that they are in today. Trump cancels Kamala Harris' Secret Service detail as he'd hate to see anyone live longer than him. Greenland is all bothered just because the US is looking into toppling their government. Trump says, Relax guy! You should see what we have planned for Alaska! Gop Mark Alford goes to town halls to lie, thinking that his constituents understood that. Lies are bad for science, etc. so scientists etc. are moving to Blue Sky.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin regroup here at the top of the week and help work out our next move. Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce got engaged on my birthday, thus making that date easier for everyone to remember. Pseudo-president Trump is crypto-president from now on. In happy news for crackers, the cracker barrel returns to Cracker Barrel. Could a one-week feint towards a clipart logo be a publicity stunt to replace their dying customer base with MAGA hardcore? If so, expect Red Lobster's rebrand as “Red State”. Cops: DC is really cleaning up the town as the interdepartmental queue forms behind each potential jaywalking bust. Anyhow, it's all the arresting that counts, not the crime. Maybe a nice train station to play with will keep them busy. OK, Doomer. ICEISIS may feel like it's around every corner (because that's the intent) but that doesn't mean that you have to give up. Democrats lead the U.S. House generic by 8 points, and in real-life very-red Iowa, Catelin Drey won by 11, in a district Trump carried by 11. It happened there, and it should be happening everywhere. The US might be involved with attempting to destabilize a sovereign democracy! Shocking, right? Greenland might be asking for it, but that doesn't mean it's giving Donald consent to grab it by the windfarms. European postal services are holding your mail. You'll need to stop by and pick it up. Delulu DOGE dropped skibidi Social Security numbers… AnD fanum tax bro! Kilmar Abrego Garcia has a decision to make. Either Trump's penis is tiny, and Kilmar goes to Uganda, or it is not tiny, and he goes to Costa Rica. All of the federal judges in Maryland avoid rendering a verdict on Trump's tiny penis… for now.

Happy birthday to me!  And to David Waldman, yesterday. Remember, it's never too late to send belated birthday greetings or cash! Donald K. Trump, in a move so indefensible that the New York Times can barely defend it, is “firing” Federal Reserve Governor Lisa Cook, which of course Trump “shouldn't”, in fact, "can't" do, for something that he himself has done time and time again… Lisa Cook will fight back, although a public statement on her part regarding Donald's not-tiny penis would clear her today. Satire has become standard diplomatic art of the deal nowadays. Kilmar Ábrego García unfortunately has found himself the measure of Trump's manhood… and just as likely to disappear. Speaking of shrinkage, If Alina Habba's appointment is held illegal, a lot more could be. Fulton County Georgia commissioners are standing against tyranny and aren't yet in Uganda, and every federal judge in Maryland now can sleep easier tonight.

David Waldman is older than he used to be! By an entire year somehow! Congratulations! Also… Armando!  Greg Dworkin is completely different of course, and so is his Raft O' Stories™, although they could all be a distraction from the real story. The Zohran Mamdanimentum keeps growing, because it's fun and Zohran is having fun and New Yorkers are a fun-loving bunch. Similarly, Gavin Newsomentum is building, even though there are Dems out there whose anxiety builds when they see too much fun going on and would like to remind you here in August 2025 that you don't “have to” vote for Gavin in November 2028 if you don't want to. Expect Trump to drop the word “CUCK” into his posts soon in order to get ahead of Newsom comparisons. Or Trump could just have Gavin arrested. Time for some legal problems for Chris Christie. Time for some legal problems for every federal judge in Maryland. Gorsuch and Kavanaugh note that none of these people are either of them. Kilmar Abrego Garcia could inspire this administration to reinstitute crucifixion. Let's pour one out for two Fulton County Dems, Dana Barrett and Mo Ivory, protectors of democracy and presently unincarcerated. Trump will obviously send troops into Chicago. Not because he needs to, but because he wants to. Cheating is so fun that it might not matter if it actually works. Soon we will all have something to cry about. US consumers with prime credit are starting to fall behind in their payments. Millions are being pushed off of Medicaid and Obamacare, no matter what they are being told now. And COVID isn't going away, but the vaccine is. Years of effort have finally paid off. Nancy Mace has finally worn out her welcome.

David Waldman delivers us to Friday, where long reads and in-depth analysis are intended to be the order of the day… But first we need to address this whole Cracker Barrel thing. You'd think that a Cracker Barrel logo change would only upset some crackers, but it turns out to be a big money-losing deal. Or perhaps it was losing big money that led to the logo change. Maybe it was their peg game. Maybe it was the racism. Maybe it was the sexual harassment, the salmonella, and the racism. Cracker Barrel will need a really good logo to get out of this one, or a high White House loyalty rating. Otherwise, it will end up on the ash heap of history with the Smithsonian. Bad Boys, Bad Boys, whacha gonna do? Donald K. Trump guest stars on Cops: DC while across town the FBI raids John Bolton's home and office. Fannie Mae's Pulte/Palantir crime detection unit is powered by AI, DOGE and spite. A federal judge found that Alina Habba is unlawfully serving as US attorney for New Jersey before Alina was even halfway to the “Mar-a-Lago” in her Botox treatments. Ironically, all lawyers now become busier. A New York appeals court gives Trump a lift in his goal of appealing his way to the grave.  Donald TACOs out of his vengeance upon flag burners and voters but will stick with Tina Peters until the bitter end as long as it's profitable.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring us the latest in news and opinion. By the way… Jeffrey Epstein! At least James Dobson is dead. Gavin C. Newsom (Gorgeous) has been hand selected (Some say RIGGED) by God to return AMERICA's democracy and Democracy to the “USA”. Of course, in 2028, Gavin's policy stands and personal aptitude for the presidency will be of utmost… Hello? You do remember 2015, right?  As do the people behind the Gavin Newsom Press Office, Camile Zapata and Izzy Gardon. That's the long game. The short game sees the majority of Democrats backing California's counter-gerrymandering of Texas as a good thing. California's Supreme Court is stepping out of the way. So, what is Donald K. Trump really up to in Washington? Nothing, as usual, and no good, as usual. Who to better represent Trump than the three most hated stooges in American history, Stephen Miller, Pete Hegseth and JD Vance? DC's criminals better watch out, the new gang means business. Elise Stefanik knows that she's hated by most of her constituents, Democrat and Republican, but she will never rest until she earns the antipathy of each person in her district. The Freedom Caucus is heading into various sunsets in the next couple of years. Fannie Mae chair Bill Pulte is weaponizing Palantir-DOGE hacked Fannie Mae computers against any Democrat with two houses. (probably) Walmart is now offering a high price guarantee, while jobs slowly head for the cliff.  No one does not see the crash coming. Trump wants the Fed to let him squeeze out the last bit before it all ends. No matter how you slice it, Mamdanimentum rolls through NYC. Next week: Jeffrey Epstein!

David Waldman returns to Wednesday and finds Greg Dworkin there waiting for him. Greg knows Pi to five decimal places, so why don't we elect him? Not enough people like Democrats, but enough do for them to beat Republicans. Donald K. Trump is helping pull down Gops in every way imaginable, in almost every place imaginable. Frank Serpico hopes to see a Zohran Mandani movie someday. The Mamdanimentum seems unstoppable. Elise Stefanik seems stoppable.  Trump's no angel… yet... but the mainstream media would rather we all went to hell. Trump estimates that the US is the only country that uses mail-in voting. He figures that if his buddy Bibi is a war hero, he must be too.  Of course, his buddy Vlad is a war criminal…  If the National Guard can open carry in DC, Jeanine Pirro will allow regular citizens to carry shotguns and rifles as long as they carry them patriotically. A police officer in Maine could tell that he's not Jeanine's type. ICE denied a parking spot cooled off by kicking some Latinos. Dan Bongino is assigned a babysitter, while it takes a village for Pete Hegseth.

Tuesday! David Waldman! KITM! Can you imagine anything more condescending or patronizing than telling a world leader that today his suit is more acceptable to you?  Maybe not you, but you aren't Donald K. Trump. Yesterday, in between the times that Trump was waiting for European dignitaries to quit talking about him, he managed to work in something nasty for each person in the room. When he ran out of insults, he just left them there to call up BFF Vlad Putin and talk behind their back. Donald did learn a few things from the meeting, of course not the things people wanted him to. Gops used to support mail-in voting, back when they thought they had to support voting.  Trump wants 14-year-olds arrested. Married. Pregnant. Trump wants 14-year-olds… The Feds are taking control of everything in DC. They have no plans to give anything back. Many judges openly doubt this administration. Somehow, those judges aren't the ones being assigned to his cases. A large houseplant has been taken from the White House, unfortunately it is not Trump. Former Georgia Lt. Gov. Geoff Duncan says he likes ethics and decency, hears that Democrats might vote for that stuff.

As today's KITM plays in a box in the corner of the screen, David Waldman watches and comments. This, in turn, plays in the corner of the screen that Greg Dworkin watches and comments upon, and they are in the corner of the screen that I watch and comment upon. Here's where you come in. Greg dredges up another Raft O' Stories™ out of the x-sewers. Good news! Through the alchemy of Blue Sky, I have magically changed each of those posts into gold. More good news! Donald K. Trump did not sell Alaska to Vlad! Well, he might have given it away to him, or just left the deed somewhere, but the whole point of this yak-fest was a strategy session to take on the leader of the free world and fashion king, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky. Their strategy seems to be bringing JD “Just Dance” Vance as his “muscle”. At this moment Trump is selling Zelensky on switching Ukraine to high-flush toilets. Meanwhile, members of ICE ISIS roam the streets of our capitol, pretty much finding criminals around every corner. Restaurants only wish they could find some of those liberated customers, who, along with students, are now sheltering-in-place. The US might still look like a good place to, say, Gazans, but not if Laura Loomer has anything to say about it. Pity Kristi Noem! Now she can't take off work early to lay that married sexual assaulter Corey Lewandowski in her free house confiscated from a political enemy without everybody being up in her business. Department of Justice Special Attorney Ed Martin personifies the weaponization of Federal government by dressing as McGruff the Crime Dog and lurking outside the home of New York Attorney General Letitia James. MS NOW! You got to hope Gloria Steinem sues. Rogan just figured out what everyone else knew about.. anything, really. Does this mean that the national pendulum is swinging back to smart from dumb? Probably not, but more of them could be voting Democratic.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are together again, one more time until we're all seeing Russia from our house. Donald K. Trump always wants a crisis, which is the only manufacturing job booming in the US, thanks to pansies like Tim Burchett, hiding in his DC office because his Tennessee office would be too dadgum dangerous, brother.  Spirit Halloween costume come to life, Markwayne Mullin, needs to really hydrate to pee his pants so constantly. (Speaking of shitty neighborhoods, get out of ExTwitter, and follow the Editorial Board on Blue Sky. They have the exact same posts, but they smell better.) Remember kids, when throwing a sandwich has the same penalty as throwing a brick, don't waste your food! Trump's choice to run the Bureau of Labor Statistics might look like he ties women to railroad tracks, but the White House swears he wasn't a January 6th terrorist… not that there's anything wrong with that. But, now we're WINNING! At this moment. Famine or feast now might be irrelevant at election. Short-term thinking is destroying America and playing into Trump's tiny hands, according to these headlines, I mean, tldr! Trump would not have to be a dictator if you'd just do what you're told. Maybe he'll run for re-election in 2026 if he's feeling cute. Some Gops want to wait for a little more totalitarianism before they redistrict. Dems would redistrict, but feel uncomfortable winning that much. What do the polls say? Whatever you want them to… mostly what Trump wants them to. (Ron Brownstein would be on Blue Sky, but you playin'.) Whoever wins Civil War II, moderates should be the first ones up against the wall.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin take us over the wacko Wednesday hump. Winning! That will be the only conclusion you'll ever be able to draw about the US, from any US source from now on. Everything that the government says henceforth will be consistently useless for every citizen. Stats, science, history, and art will first pass through Donald K. Trump, and those who don't come back for seconds will regret it. (Speaking of crap, don't go to that site. Ron Brownstein, Bruce Bartlett, and of course, Justin Wolfers are on Blue Sky. Heck, you can watch Justin Wolfers on MSNBC, on somebody else's TV, on bsky.app!  Trump wants to know students' race to make certain that the wrong ones don't get extra. The NIH will pivot away from mRNA vaccines, not because they don't work, but because of vibes. Their vibes. CDC projects and careers are shot down as bullets come through their windows. Skateboarders beware! A military presence in Washington DC won't stop murders, car jackings or arson on any block where they aren't standing, and the bubble boys will still be afraid to come out, but DC did vote for Kamala, therefore a bronze likeness of Big Balls will need to be placed at the base of the Washington Monument. Political polls (BTW, follow Political Polls on Blue Sky) indicate some good things upcoming for Dems. Latinos still surviving in the United States are beginning to sour on the Gop. WARs and WARPs are the MVPs. Mamdanimentum is being fueled by Cuomo and Trump, as a list of their scandals can fill a dozen ads. Forget The Apprentice. Ghislaine Maxwell is the reigning champion on The Price is Right, and it's looking good for the Showcase Showdown. Russia, Russia, Russia! Usha Vance may not hate JD now, but why wait on the divorce? Marjorie Taylor Greene makes more than 30 times what she did when she was first elected. How? Go to hell! Maybe her buddy Laura Loomer can take her there.

David Waldman does his Tuesday KITM thing. As you are doing, right now. Donald K. Trump, that little ‘Gyna-tease, taco'd his China tariffs into Christmas buying season. As if he'd ever cross Xi Jinping, who's quite a pussy-grabber himself. Trump's off to Alaska, but he's already given away his planned Putin bargaining chip. Meh, Trump is a bigger commie than the two of them put together, and a true innovator of corruption. Donald's the Thomas Edison of Harold Hills, the Elon Musk of Elon Musks. He's earned every cyberpenny he's soaked from the rubes, no matter how many that may be. Who better, then, to crack down on crime? At least, the crime of being scary, young, brown, and/or homeless and in the line of sight of old, white, pussies, and/or tourists. It's hard to fight back against fear, hate, bigotry... and cops. Republicans are getting used to being hated, maybe... a little turned on, maybe they'll pass a couple more mega-bills and see how that feels. JD Vance must love being hated. Why else would he hang around Usha?

David Waldman is back! No wait, I was gone, he was here. At least it's Friday, right? A good guy without a gun stopped a bad guy with a gun at a place with a lot of guns. It sounds as if Trump oversold his trade deals a bit. He does have a tendency to overstate things.  Trump showed reporters a poster with a line and numbers no one has ever seen before. Winning! Trump appointees sacked Judge James Boasberg's contempt order against other Trump officials, prompting Senator Sheldon Whitehouse to explain the problem to Chief Justice John Roberts, who dropped the letter in the TLDR file, as he has some elections to rig.​​​​ DOJ senior advisor Jared Wise, called police “Nazi” and demanded their murder… but that was back when he was an impressionable youngster of four or so years ago. WNBA players aren't paid what they are worth but certainly don't need some incels' hand-me-down dildos. Don Jr. gave his dad a dildo along with all the Skibidi rizz that, of course, entails.

It's Thursday! That means Greg Dworkin is on his way out the door for the weekend! That's OK. Congress is gone all month. Which might be why Democrats in that body aren't doing what the latest “centrist” pundit says they ought to be doing… which is, of course, praising Trump. But under no circumstances must you hand it to Trump! The “idea,” we gather, stems from the Old School Media Playbook, which instructs that if a president says it and then it happens, it's a “win.” Even if it's an obvious disaster. But this particular “idea” also rests on multiple false assumptions. Like that Democrats have no electoral support. (They do.) Or that Trump is popular. (He's not.) Or that his “policies” are wise and well-considered. (They're not.) Or that members of his party benefit politically from his leadership. (They don't.) Nope. He's the same guy he's always been. Plotting a coverup of his sex scandals. Firing people who won't do his dirty work, or lie for his benefit. You know, the usual. Meanwhile, in Gotham… where Eric Adams is already corrupted by Trump, Andrew Cuomo seeks Trump's counsel. And adds one of the least-respected consultants in the country to his team of duds, which is sure to make things worse. But he might not even be the dumbest Cuomo of the day! On the Jeffrey Epstein front: Jeffrey Epstein, Jeffrey Epstein, Jeffrey Epstein! Is there anything that can make this worse? Sure! Woody Allen! While we're on the topic of public pervos, there's still more (mysteriously less-than-disastrous) news about MAGA trainwreck Cory Mills. Why is this news less than disastrous, anyway? IOKIYAR, as the olds used to say, when they were young.

If we have to keep talking about Jeffrey Epstein, then at least let us hear more Tom Lehrer! Well, with Greg Dworkin on hand to round up the day's news, that's never a problem! Unless you're Donald Trump, that is. Because people think that guy sucks! Though it may just be worse given his bad timing. Of course, it could also be, you know, his “policies.” Or his policy of firing people who report statistics indicating that his policies suck. Or pulling out all the stops to rig the system, all while crying loudly that it's rigged against him. Or just maybe, the leopards he keeps sending to eat his voters' faces. Or maybe lots of Republicans are going to “get Flooded” when the time comes, whomever or wherever they may be. Given how bad the landscape is for Trump and his Republicans, why would any Democrat or independent ever fall into the trap of praising him? Something happened to “Big Balls.” We're just not sure exactly what. But we know it's being used as an excuse for yet another moment of Trump extremism. But don't let the extremism distract you from the revisionism! Whether at home or abroad. Really, you can't miss either the revisionism or the egotism. Soon enough, it'll be on display before the entire world. Know who else used the same play? Federal judges are getting fed up, though. And they won't play. Learn about the “presumption of regularity,” how Trump killed it, and what happens when it's gone.

It's No Structure Tuesday, in the Second Trump Era! And a reality TV personality-turned-government official says they're gonna put a nuclear reactor on the moon. And it wasn't even the orange one! That's the kind of day it's been. Wait, here's something more random and even dumber: Murdery Traitor Greene is lobbying Trump to commute George Santos' sentence. At just 11 days into a 7+ year stretch. And if you believe that one, try imagining her leaving the Republican Party. Ha ha! Yeah. Sure, Jan. How could she ever leave when she's still actively calling for Democrats to be investigated and arrested for… the 2020 election, Epstein, and… January 6th! Democrats! Pam Bondi, meanwhile, is back to investigating Democrats for… the 2016 election. Some grand jury, somewhere, is purportedly being convened by someone, to investigate… something. You know. Things! Returning to the lengthy profile of DOGE's 23-year-old-in-charge-of-erasing-distinguished-careers, others are asking just how many people it can be said this Wunderkind killed. Good job, homeschooling! On the “international” front, Trump continues to say the world “deals” a lot. Are they “deals,” though? And are “deals” (as Trump defines the word) even a good thing in this context? Would he know how to evaluate a “good deal” even if he was capable of making one? Does it count if he just makes it all up? Stay tuned! I mean, the answer is “no,” but stay tuned to hear us say it some more, anyway.

It's Monday! That means Greg Dworkin was here. And it means there was a weekend catch-up marathon on Trump's “volatile side,” via the Abbreviated Pundit Roundup, and another installment in our more-popular-than-the-actual-hosts Tom Lehrer retrospective. Texas Republicans are redistricting. Yes, again! Or at least trying to. Dems are absenting themselves in order to deny them a quorum. Yes, again! Greg Abbott, meanwhile, says he's trying to absent them from office. Trump's stupid “policies” are starting to make the economy suck, and everybody knows it. So, you have to fire the knowers, or at least the tellers, starting from the top. Just like successful countries like Argentina do. Will that be enough to help MAGA forget about having their faces eaten by leopards? Perhaps, one day, their children will forget. If they ever have any. Everybody's been talking about this blockbuster dissection of a Dem fundraising black hole operation. And everybody's angry! But you may be pleased to know there's a plan to make fundraising black holes angry, too. You thought Greg wasn't going to say anything about the NYC mayoral race? Duh! They just polled the local space laser enthusiasts, to see what they're thinking. You thought Greg wasn't going to say anything about Epstein? Duh! Well, actually he didn't. But he meant to! Trump's hoping a different shiny object will distract people. Only this one's about Obama, and not everyone thinks that's so shiny, anymore. But dumbasses do! We'll never run out of dumbasses! Not while one of ‘em is president, anyway! (Remember when I said he was probably choosing Oval Office portraits for the frames, with no idea who was in the paintings? Well, yeah!)

August! Only 25 Patreon-PayPal-Square Cash shopping days until David Waldman's birthday! A great time to begin or up your recurring donations to KITM! What will It cost to renovate the ‘Free' Qatari Air Force One? Don't ask… but if you were to ask, it's around $1billion. Is Trump trying to hide that $1billion price tag? Why, yes, he is. Will Trump try to take it home with him? Why bother to ask? Meanwhile plans are underway for the Trump White House Convention Center and Casino. How much will that cost? Who'll pay for that? You're full of questions, aren't you? Trump purports to raise tariffs on Canada. Canada says that news is big if true. South Korea says don't believe it until you see it. Wisconsin Gop Bryan Steil can't believe his town halls could boo so loud. Is this any way to run a paper? Jeff Bezos discovers that no, it probably is not. Brilliant boy genius Luke Farritor ingeniously disemboweled the United States government. It's up to more mature minds to determine if that is what he “should” have been doing.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin continue our KITM-wide tribute to Tom Lehrer, who, amongst his many attributes, is copyright free. Leher wasn't the only political satirist capable of rhyming “Epstein” with “tiny peen”, but definitely one of the best. Heard any good Jeffrey Epstein news lately? Most Americans want to release the Epstein files. Most Americans think the Epstein files contain "embarrassing" info about Trump. Most Americans believe that Trump was involved in Epstein's crimes. That includes quite a few MAGA-Americans, Moron-Americans, and even a few Moron-MAGA-Americans.  The best thing about Jeffrey Epstein news is that there's so much Jeffrey Epstein news left to report. The DOJ faces a subpoena over the Epstein files by the House Oversight Committee, it's just that James Comer is in no hurry to sign it.  I can't afford a Washington Post subscription. Jeff Bezos could make the Washington Post free to subscribers. In fact, Jeff could afford to make the entire Washington Post free if he wanted to and just sail away from it all, no problem. Trump TACOs on Mexico. Bullshits on Japan. Scams his own voters with Europe. Laura Loomer will win back Donald's love by throwing shade at everyone else. Even West Point is too woke for Laura. 

HEY YOU GUYS! On KITM today, David Waldman spins the hits and reports the latest local and national Epstein news, with traffic and tsunamis on the 10's.  Today's topic: Why are people talking more and more about John Stafford? Greg Dworkin is back, back in the New York groove, poring over the datum within the data of the polling of the upcoming New York City Mayoral election which will be won by Zohran Mamdani. Does Mamdani say things right, or does he say the right things?  Democrats are mostly crap at both, but also aren't Republicans, so there's that. The world's most important mayoral race is under the cloud of a mass shooting, which is not only a test for not-yet-Mayor Mamdani, but he'll no doubt be graded on everyone else's mass shootings as well. Donald K. Trump is probably working on ways to work Zohran into his Epstein conversations. Yesterday, Trump settled the whole Epstein mess by explaining that he caught Jeff stealing all the underage babes he had invested in, stored in the Mar-a-Lago basement, and if there was one motto Donald does not believe in, it's “Bros before hos”. Trump should sue Epstein for all of the money that he lost to Jeff's “business” … or he could pardon Diddy. That should do it.

David Walman wraps up our July fund drive as we launch our August fund drive later this week. Subscribers who join at our $400 per month tier will get something, even if I have to crochet or bake it. Another day, another cloud of a mass-shooting to broadcast from underneath. If Louisiana Gop John Kennedy manages to enact anti-idiot laws, he'll be the first on the plane to El Salvador. Minnesota cops avoid clouds of mass-shooting, by waiting for the sun to come out. Trump can't believe that everyone still wants to talk about Epstein-Epstein-Epstein when instead they should check out his list of Epstein connections, that he personally calls “The Epstein List”.  You know who could settle this? The Hannibal Lecter of sex traffickers, Ghislaine Maxwell. The perfect neutral mediator would be Trump's personal lawyer, now Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche, the very guy to understand the perspectives and priorities of everyone in this case. Dick Durbin peeks from his hidey-hole to shake his fist. Whistleblower evidence suggests that Trump judicial nominee Emil Bove misled Senate, therefore Judge James Boasberg will have to pay. They're soon going to run out of room at Guantanamo at this rate. Sure, the US seems more criminal and corrupt with each day, but as long as we are graded on the same curve as the Russian Army we'll be just fine.

Today, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin return to distract you from the real problem, whatever that might be. Another RIP goes out, this time to Tom Lehrer. Some of you know his math, and a few of you might know his cryptography, but many of you know many of his songs, and you owe it to yourself to know many more. Hopefully, this will be an opportunity for some sort of collaboration with Ozzy Osborne. Scotland welcomes Donald K. Trump. They say that the K stands for Knuckle-brained fart lozenge.  We say they're welcome to him. Inexplicably, the Scots keep letting him in.  Donald saves on strokes by aiming for his caddy's back pocket. Independents dislike Trump even more than they dislike Biden. Voters hate what Trump does and hate Democrats for letting him do it. That darn Epstein! Out there, stealing Trump's glory and/or distracting from his crimes. Trump opens the borders to violent criminals and mass murderers. It isn't only that MAGA likes rapists and murderers, but it's how much they like to rape and murder that makes them so deplorable.

David Waldman is out of here! Almost! Whacha wanna talk about? How about Jeffery Epstein? Other than ”Trump's tiny peen”, the “Epstein files” are the country's most talked about topic. Ghislaine Maxwell is conversant in either subject, of course, but would rather be moving on at this stage.  Donald P.P. Trump says he hasn't “thought about” pardoning Ghislaine and therefore has decided to. That wouldn't quiet much down, as Gops have arranged to keep talking on the subject through the Fall, the DOJ has more than 100,000 pages' of unreleased Epstein materials, Epstein's estate has his 50th birthday book, Rupert Murdoch gets to testify, and Steven KG Bannon has 15 hours of Epstein interviews...  The only way out is for the administration to admit mistakes and defeat… heh, heh. Or they could blame it on AI. How? Well, they'd have to ask AI. Sam Altman tells investors that the first step would be to create an all-powerful AI, the second step would be instant profit and/or annihilation. Just kidding. People don't require something as sophisticated as AI to bamboozle them. You can't fool Jerome Powell. TACO couldn't pull one over on him. There's hope for the future as textbook publishers refuse to go MAGA. Big MAGA dummy Pete Hick-Seth was sharing secret documents, with “SECRET” written right across them, on Signal after all. If you are a Hegseth aide looking to steal a little valor, hurry, your time might be limited. On the other hand, old work buddy Mike Waltz did find himself a new gig as UN ambassador... Mar-a-Lago classified documents witnesses picked up $310,000 tip from the RNC, probably tax-free. Instead of Trump's tiny peen, check out his big, beautiful deal with Japan, although the more you do look at it, the less impressive it becomes.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin wish you all a joyous and/or contemplative Pioneer Day this year, along with the other 364. (Coincidentally, Jeffery Epstein's motto was “Bring ‘em young!”) Many questions remain unanswered following Epstein's untimely demise, but one thing is certain: Donald FN Trump's name is all over the Epstein files, and he knows it. Gops sneak out the back door and hope no one notices. Democrats follow them out and hope everyone notices. Thus, we are only about a week away from Ghislaine Maxwell's mysterious death in, or miraculous release from, prison. Sedation, stat! Donald's meds need to be upped. Tulsi Gabbard makes the US take one for Team Trump. Why supply evidence when the boss says you have proof? Is Trump's treason accusation a confession? Ya figure? Trump pulls a reverse-Jesus and sins so that his followers may live to sin. Gop Mike Lawler will hide in the House, barking, rather than challenge Governor Kathy Hochul. Donald K. Trump is… unpopular, especially among independents, but generally with everyone.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin boost us over any number of humps today. Renown reality TV star/Trump critic/frequent Zakk Wylde bandmate Ozzy Osborne has died at age 76, too soon for most people, but especially for an artist who transformed so many genres while defining his own. Not RIP-ing anytime soon is Jeffery Epstein, who is receiving an amazing number of coverups for a guy who didn't wear pants half the time. Mike Johnson believed that he could put a fig leaf on anything, but not when even MAGA wants a peek. Congrats go out to Tulsi Gabbard for coming up with a way to keep her paychecks coming during these difficult times. Trump is now wondering who he needs to push out a window to make this all stop. We told you that Alina Habba wasn't going to keep her job as top federal prosecutor in New Jersey, but the administration is working to make us pre-wrong on that prediction. We also told you about John A. Sarcone III, who is either acting US attorney or assistant to himself, and Albany resident or ghost of the local haunted house. Trump and Japan are signing off on the HUGEST deal ever made, estimated at coming in somewhere between worse and better than nothing.  Similarly, drug prices will be set to net consumers up to $150 for each dollar that they spend. I might become a Trumper if this turns out to be true. The rise of Democrats in polls shows that most are not betting on it.  Elon Musk will really need to turn up his folksy charm if he wants to get his third party off the ground.

David Waldman brings us the latest old news. That is, it only seems like old news.  Trump remains deplorable, as his deplorables keep finding out. But even David's random country generator for potential Trump hassling seems stuck on several African nations, although Donald might be first to admit that when it comes to African countries, they're all just a bunch of Nigers to him. Remember Jeffery Epstein? Epstein's posthumous celebrity is so hot right now, that people are even beginning to recall Ghislaine Maxwell. The Gop House is working so hard to forget Jeff that they have completely forgotten that they are elected representatives. Donald K. Trump hopes that you'll Pepperidge Farm the Clinton Administration. The Wall Street Journal will not be allowed to watch Trump golf in Scotland because of their Epstein reporting. Back to the story of John A. Sarcone “III”, the loyalist Trump wants as US attorney for upstate New York. Is Sarcone only the “acting” US attorney? Is he an “assistant” with no one to assist? Who cares? What does the law have to do with being an attorney for Trump? Law has nothing to do with being a lawyer for Trump, which is why Two-thirds of the DOJ unit defending Trump policies in court have quit. First, Trump disappeared hundreds of Venezuelans to a Salvadoran Prison. Then, Marco Rubio and Ric Grenell got into a bidding war for them and Grenell's check bounced. Now, the prisoners have been shuffled off to Venezuela. Were innocent lives art of the dealed?

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin tell us all about some of the crazy things that happened. Winning! Donald K. Trump wants to remind everyone of his many huge successes over the last 6 months, and his HUGE hands. And his unceasing admiration and respect for the Indigenous peoples of the Americas. And the scandal-plagued Obama administration, along with Barack Hussein's many felonies. But not Jeffery Epstein. Donald does not want to remind anyone that his name is in the Epstein files. or how and why his name got into the Epstein files. Or how he tried to cover up his appearance in the Epstein files. But you know, if people want to cry about how he's a corrupt pervert, Trump is certainly capable of giving them something new to cry about. 44% believe they will be worse off in a year, yet may not grasp how much worse off they'll be in a week. Some have only begun to realize just how much worse off they are now. On the other hand, Andrew Cuomo thinks there might be a little too much success in New York City. Zohran Mamdani promises to not say the thing he never said. Alina Habba had a rough start, but her trajectory is now smoothing out into a steep dive. He was Trump's pick for US Attorney in Albany, but it turns out that John A. Sarcone III is only “acting”.

David Waldman takes us to the edge of the week but can't keep us from falling into the weekend. Bawdy? Is that what we're calling it?  Jeffery Epstein, who could be considered naughty, and kind of affiliated, was never known to have had a shortage of close personal friends.  His 50th birthday party had a great turnout of sincere well-wishers, including Donald K. Trump, who was both his best friend for over a dozen years, and hardly even knew him, in fact barely even met him outside of the hundreds of times that they hung out. So, of all of the ribald birthday wishes Jeff received, the one from Donald is definitely the one Donald did not write, and did not sign, and especially did not write a picture on. Donald does not write pictures. You know that things must be out of control if Trump is releasing medical information into the news cycle. Trump's socks look like he rotates his filled Depends there, but officially he has “Chronic Venous Insufficiency” which technically describes that Trump's brains have fallen into his shoes. It would also explain his feeble Epstein distraction brought to you by Coca-Cola. Luckily for Trump, CBS threw him a big lifeline by firing Steven Colbert. The only thing that could delight Trump more would be having Jimmy Kimmel eaten by an alligator. Great news! AI Chatbots have been telling their billionaire investors that they will be earning trillions of dollars soon and that those checks will start pouring in, in about two weeks.

It's a good thing Greg Dworkin had a lot of links today. Because there was a lot to say, even if there were only a very few topics most people were talking about. And by that, we mean Jeffrey Epstein, and the fact that Donald Trump was his very good friend, because they were both giant perverts. No one's buying the Trump administration's story. I mean, like, no one. Not the Trump-supporting Speaker of the House. Not ultra-Trump-supporting rank & file members of Congress. Not the grifters who came up on the Trump coattails. Not the grifters positioning themselves to usurp the coat itself. Not the high-information, liberal voters who might be using it to troll low-information voters. Not even the low-information voters themselves, who don't care about anything. Maybe he's just used up all the quarters he had lined up for his brainwashing machine. Whatever the reason, he's now got MAGA & the Republican party splintered over this thing he seems determined to insist everyone should ignore. But wait! Maybe Trump can save his presidency with substantive accomplishments on the policy side! Hahahahahaha! Ohhhhh, man! Hey, just kidding, folks! Ha ha! That was a good one! No, there's no hope for that! And the midterm political outlook is only set to get worse, even if the policy itself somehow doesn't. But it is getting worse! Oh well, at least there's Elon Musk's third party. Hahahaha! Gotcha again! Meanwhile, this coverup isn't even the worst thing Pam Bondi is doing with her time. Well, we have time for one more subject. By which I mean about an hour. How about the NYC mayoral race, where we're looking at voters in the 40s and 50s. No, not by age. By net approve/disapprove! (OK, but also by age.) In fact, how about the NYC mayoral race, and how some people are so consumed by it, that they think it has bearing on the outcome of totally unrelated races, thousands of miles away.

David Waldman is here to Tuesday the heck out of this KITM. The Supreme Court was feeling cute last night and thought they'd delete the separation of powers. That Nixon was such a loser. Congratulations also go to Trump for winning his 5th golf championship in since inauguration, 10 weeks ago. Just one of the many of his latest great successes, depending on how one looks at things. One thing is still missing on his signature blue suit, however. Medals. Like Florida Gop Cory Mills' Bronze Star, but maybe a dozen or so gold ones. That'd be cool. Meanwhile, Cory's landlord is accusing him of not paying $85,000 in rent. Can Mills help it if he didn't bill him correctly? Donald does become a little smaller each day, therefore he shut down airports in a 200-mile radius in order to pretend to be a World Cup player and “accept” their trophy… and a medal… and probably the silverware at the banquet and the toilet paper from his restroom stall. Hey, it's what all the tin-pot dictators do when they tire of tin pots. Blame Jeffery Epstein. He's the guy who got Trump on his gold kick, among other things. Democrats and Kevin Spacey would like to know more, but you know how prim and demure Republicans can be. Barack Obama started compiling his forged Epstein list during his early teens, as will be revealed to all in around two weeks The US has imposed a 17% duty on fresh Mexican tomatoes (purportedly) in hopes of “boosting domestic production” … First of all, Donald K. Trump doesn't do anything for the good of anything. Second, we are deporting/terrorizing/imprisoning all of our skilled farm workers. Third, everyone knows that you couldn't treat white folks like that.  Fourth, you also don't mess with tomatoes, as they are some litigious SOBs.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin follow another Trump Weekend™ with another Monday KITM! YAY! QAnon was right — THEY don't want you to know! Imagine MAGA's surprise, and everyone else's lack of surprise, when “They” turned out to be Trump. Trump's Epstein cover-up (The latest cover-up, that is, as Trump has covered for Epstein forever.) could tear apart MAGA as a portion of them actually believe what they've been saying, and for most of them, this issue is the most complex that they are prepared to handle. Heads must roll, and that never means Trump. Therefore, Ghislaine Maxwell is making certain that all of her prison security cameras are in tiptop condition today. Dan Bongino was too undisclosed to clock into work this morning. That leaves Pam Bondi, She-Wolf of the DOJ, who has just fired her personal ethics chief. Kash Patel threatens to show up even less at work if Pam stays. Eight men were told that they were being sent to Louisiana but ended up in Djibouti. Following the orders of armed masked men never turns out well. Kristi Noem expects that more bureaucracy, more paperwork, more delays and more inefficiencies will lead to more government savings. Fewer survivors equal even more savings. Of course, in central Texas, a functioning government equals Communism. In New York City, voters see things differently.

David Waldman stares into the abyss of our next Trump weekend, but first, screams into the void of Trump Friday. Distinguished Professor and author Ian Reifowitz returns to KITM discuss his BRAND-NEW BOOK, “Riling Up the Base: Examining Trump's Use of Stereotypes through an Interdisciplinary Lens.”  Buy this book, and not only will you be the hippest person on your beach, but you will also gain a thorough understanding of how Trump's use of stereotypes relating to immigration, race/ethnicity, and gender somehow keeps that jerk in power. Ian also argues that Democrats have drifted from Obama's unifying vision of America and need to reclaim Obama's inclusive, aspirational message to win again. Tom Homan reminds us that the less you look like Tom Homan, the higher your chance of having many bad things happen to you in the United States. With AI, you can look like anyone and say anything. Foreign leaders are under the mistaken impression that as long as their lips remain on Donald K. Trump's ass, they're safe. To Vietnam's surprise, Donald informed them they hadn't used enough tongue.

Greg Dworkin heard from a friend that they have a friend whose other friend says that Vladimir Putin doesn't want to go out with Donald Trump anymore. Or maybe vice versa. Anyway, somebody is gonna be upset over the resumption of arms shipments to Ukraine. Could be Trump. Certainly will be Putin. Might also be Hegseth! The eyes of Texas (and everywhere else) are still upon “Flash Flood Alley,” so they'll have to get their story straight (and tell it to the judge) about whether they do or don't have an emergency alert system, and if so, whether they did or didn't use it. They certainly should have one. After all, they're now acknowledging that extreme weather incidents are human-caused. Sort of. The national obsession over the New York City mayoral election continues, mostly because Zohran Mamdani's sizeable lead in the polls continues. The Adams camp is making some… unusual choices for managing the campaign. Or at least, someone is making them for them. Anyway, the political scientists have a heads up for you, if you've been wondering where the winning coalition would come from. Meanwhile, Donald Trump has opened up (even) dumb(er) new frontiers in his “Trade Wars,” this time with the largest coffee producer in the world and second-most-populous country in the Western Hemisphere: Brazil. And they don't like it. But they are also not as dumb, as anyone can plainly see. Dumber still, but even more frightening, Trump continues to use vast federal powers to prosecute his personal gripes. We heard the other day about his insistence that “investigations” be opened into former FBI Director James Comey and former CIA Director John Brennan. Now we learn that… for some strange reason… the Secret Service decided to tail Comey on his way back from his beach vacation, then haul him in for questioning over that “86 47” message he wrote out in seashells. And it looks like they have the same and more planned for Chris Wray, too. You know, the FBI Director Trump picked after he fired Comey.

David Waldman returns for the Wednesday KITM and look who he brought — Greg Dworkin! Greg asks, where are the Evangelicals? Well, not out doing God's work, that's for sure. Donald K. Trump, who lies a lot, lied a lot at his cabinet meeting yesterday. Ric Grenell and Marco Rubio art of the dealed each other out of prisoner swaps in El Salvador. (Marco's AI imposter could do a better job.) Pete (Hic!) seth held back arms to Ukraine but left boss Trump out of the chat. That's ok, Donald's boss never listens to him either. Kimberly Guilfoyle could've been First Lady, twice, but will settle for a big fat Greek ambassadorship. Marjorie Taylor Greene doesn't seem to know that much, but that's only because she's an idiot. Marge clearly does her research. Trump thought all this Jeffery Epstein nonsense was killed in its jailcell and cremated long ago, but no, just like some drugged 13-year-old girl, they just can't seem to let it go. Meanwhile, in the midst of a tragic disaster in Texas, reporters have the bad taste to show disrespect for inept public servants. Sirens would have helped, as would even a timely text. The Bayeux Tapestry travels from France to Britain for the first time in history, but you can look at it on your phone. UVA president James E. Ryan threw himself in front of the Trump Train to save his university, and its grant structure. The FBI investigates the FBI for its associations with other FBI members as if they were the Stasi. Trump tariffs are going to make copper more expensive here than almost anywhere. 

He's LIVE! David Waldman has been keeping his opinions to himself for DAYS... and he can barely take it any longer. Thank goodness we're here! Trump's loyalist army, ICE, now better funded than the Russian army, liberated MacArthur Park in LA... all the sweet green icing flowing down. Oh nooooo... Jeffery Epstein? No, that name doesn't ring a bell over at the White House. Trump is due to claim that Joe Biden and Elon Musk created Jeff in AI. Ghislaine Maxwell, call your lawyer. Ted (Vacation) Cruz doesn't mind Texas but seems to hate the weather. Donald says not to blame him for the Texas floods, as it's all God's fault. (God must be wondering why He was dumb enough to choose him again.) Trump is due to claim that Joe Biden and Elon Musk created the flood in AI. Donald K. Trump believes Ukraine is real, sometimes. Is China spying on us through TikTok? Trump might believe that, but he does not believe in any laws that restrict it, or any laws for that matter. Trump tariffs are back on! Or they're back off! What, don't you believe him? Crazy Don is making crazy deals! Everyone's invited to our Open House, no reasonable offer refused! 90 days, same as cash! How can Abrego Garcia become a figment of our imagination, if US courts won't let him disappear? El Salvador now claims that it was only paid to imprison, torture and eventually kill people sent to them, nothing was said about “legal responsibility”. Whether it's shipping prisoners to Sudan, the Alien Enemies Act, or Birthright Citizenship, Trump just needs only one break to take the whole system down. Elon Musk had his Big Balls cut off, so instead of buying one of his stupid cars, he thought you might just want to send him money. (Wouldn't it be more fun if Elon spent a billion or two on private investigators?)

What an awful week… and it's only Monday! The horrors continue in Texas. And, everywhere else, the stupidity continues and continues and continues. Probably the only one surprised by how things have been going though is Ghislaine Maxwell. Where do we go from here? David Waldman will tell us! Tomorrow. Today, we will review how we got here. How woke do you need to be, to march in uniform with African Americans, stoking the Civil War before Lincoln was even elected? Wide Awake. It's not a constitutional crisis if the Constitution is dead. The Gop crack suicide squad sprang into action to protect Donald K. Trump last week. Who knows how much more they can take, but the Supreme Court has plenty more to give where that came from.

It's July 4th! And we're celebrating by pretending it's July 5th. Hey, anything to get another day closer to the end of the Trump regime! But to be more precise about it, we're pretending it's July 5, 2019. Why? Well, July 5, 2024 wasn't a particularly uplifting moment in time for us. But the day after Trump's first attempt at a Washington, DC “military parade?” That's entertainment! So we're re-running the July 5, 2019 episode, which Scott Anderson originally summarized this way: But… Did. They. Get. Off?  The rain was almost… almost like a “sign” from above that yesterday's greatest show in history would be the hugest lesson in irony. In that, it did not disappoint.  David Waldman takes us through Donald Trump's history lesson on ramming the ramparts at airports during the Revolution. If you think Trump sees history in a strange way, wait until you hear how he sees himself. Profile in courage Donald Trump wishes he could be the good person he really is inside... it's just that you provoke him so. An open letter to the director of the US Holocaust Memorial Museum states why we again need to say Never Again. Trump tries to come up with a way to rig the Census that someone will believe, but why bother when lies work so well? Oregon's governor uses her executive powers for good. Cheese and whiskey are targeted in the US's latest proposed tariffs on EU, as the Jim Beam bourbon warehouse is allowed to burn down to keep from polluting the water. What will the Gop do without the NRA? The Indian government already has a plan in place for dealing with Ivanka Trump-like intrusion. Serena Blaiz—Daily Kos' peacearena—reports on the expanding local news desert, and the unexpected hits on your local economy.

Wednesday, and it's David Waldman and Greg Dworkin's last live appearance before Explodey Day! Probably not their last alive appearance, though. They don't seem the types to screw around with such things. Zohran, the Destroyer! Zohran, the Magnificent! Zohran, the Relatable! Nothing scares Democrats more than winning, because if you win... you could lose. And yet… sometimes a win or two will slip in, like in New Jersey, or maybe around San Diego. Of course, winning just invites death threats. Don't worry Dems, Trump says he holds all the levers, and well, he kind of does. Paramount anted up its $16 M (to make $8 B), and the bag gets passed back to CNN. Lisa Murkowski got hers, if you want any, you be a Senator. Trump had a great time in the undrained swamp. What is it about “Alligator Alcatraz” that seems to resonate with MAGA? Does it harken back to a time America could rediscover its lost… greatness? Sean “Diddy” Combs escaped sex trafficking and racketeering charges but was convicted of a prostitution offense. Jimmy Swaggart would probably forgive that, but can't look to Donald Trump for forgiveness, for the moment. Jared L. Wise, who wanted to kill police on Jan 6, has been given an opportunity to do so at the DOJ. University of Virginia president James E. Ryan took one for the team, and the team's hundreds of millions in federal funding and resigned, to give Trump his biggest kill yet. LOL libtards! What happened to all that tariff disaster you said was heading our way? Wait… Oh, this just in….

July! David Waldman will depart upon his KITM Patriotic Tour of America very soon but is here today and even tomorrow with live shows! Get your 4th of July prepped soon, before Hell buys up all of the charcoal.  Did Republicans kill the filibuster? The Senate did kill thousands of people.  JD Vance dealt the coup de grâce, and promised that there'll be many more corpses before he's finished. Elon Musk might go onto the casualty list if he doesn't shut up. Dems made Susan Collins feel concerned for a moment. Like changing the direction of a hurricane, Donald K. Trump is using his Sharpie to divert interest rates from Jerome Powell. Trump and Kristi Noem, who never got the opportunity to pose at Abu Ghraib, made up for it at today's grand opening celebration of the Everglades “migrant detention facilities”.  Kristi missed her chance to chuck puppies to the gators (at least on camera) but Noem knows that some things are better if kept quiet… like political graft.

Here we are, at the end of a long month, but David Waldman and Greg Dworkin still aren't tired and can keep it up as long as we can. Thom Tillis picked up his integrity at the coat check area and left the Senate, rather than having Trump's fat ugly bill become his epitaph. Of course, Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski are oh-so-close to becoming Democrats… until right about now in the process, when someone offers them a “reacharound” or a “wraparound” or whatever the kids are calling it nowadays. No normal person would vote for this bill, but few in DC run into people outside of a photo op. Mayors, however, run into actual people no matter where their cities are, which is a shock to those politicians who aren't used to that. Donald K. Trump wants everyone to know that the people who leaked the truth about Iran are LYING and will be prosecuted to the full extent of the laws that will be disregarded in their prosecution. Alligator Auschwitz awaits them all. Trump will release an MS-13 friend of Salvadoran President Nayib Bukele to get him to take back Kilmar Abrego Garcia and maybe lose him a little better this time. Bibi Netanyahu notes that the more Gazans he kills, the more open he feels towards a ceasefire deal. Pam Bondi, She-Wolf of the DOJ, finds her A-II solutions to be just as fun as her 2A ones. Here's what a $1 Trillion Medicaid Cut would look like. Here's a little of what it would feel like.

David Waldman is BACK for the Friday KITM, then GONE for the weekend, then BACK on the Monday KITM! See how that works? In local, to KITM World Headquarters, news, the University of Virginia and Virginia Commonwealth University can't operate any “illegal” DEI programs to get federal funding, and they really like federal funding, therefore they're obeying anticipatorily.  The White House appreciates their cooperation and will now require the resignation of the University of Virginia's president. In even more local news, the Superintendent of Loudoun Schools, Aaron Spence eloquently describes how Trump can kiss his DEI-loving ass. Meanwhile, a selling point for a four-year degree has always been where you'll be spending those four years. People assumed someone had fixed the DOGE by cutting off Big Balls, but he's only been tucked away, out of sight. The US is slashing overseas pro-democracy initiatives, yet Samuel Samson over at the US State Department wanted your tax money to go to anti-democracy initiatives to support Marine Le Pen.  Le Pen had the self-respect to turn him down. Remember when real men were both strong and silent? Why can't we try bringing back those days again? Why are supervillains always such big mouths?

It's Thursday and David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back to KITM and itching to analyze! You don't mess with the Zohran! “Ranked choice” voting defeats “hold your nose and just” voting. You got to hope it's the beginning of the end of the political consultant era, but good luck with that. When Dems discover they can be elected by listening to constituents DC will become a ghost town. And if you think that Democrats are terrified of Zohran Mamdani, you should see Republicans! Donald K. Trump fears Zohran almost as much as he does AOC. Ted Cruz and Stephen Miller hate Mamdani almost as much as people hate Ted Cruz and Stephen Miller.  Libertarians don't want Zohran, but always figure that fewer of anybody means more for them anyhow. About the only people who like Zohran Mamdani are the majority of New York City, who especially like it when things work and don't cost too much. Muslim youths love Mamdani and talked Muslim olds into voting for him. Not enough Black youths talked to the Black olds. Generally, the Democratic party needs more youths and fewer olds. Kari Lake's dream of Trump becoming the Marion Jones of Nobel prizes has been obliterated. Only 38% of Americans support Trump's Iran War, so instead Pete Kegsbreath has declared war on Jennifer Griffin, and Trump has declared war on Natasha Bertrand. The next lady on the White House bombing list is Elizabeth MacDonough, Senate Parliamentarian, who has compiled a big beautiful list of Byrd rule violations in the Gop budget bill.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back with the latest in KITM and KITM accessories. You might not know that Dennis Kucinich was mayor of Cleveland, or that Jerry Springer was mayor of Cincinnati, yet you probably know every mayor of New York City over your entire life, maybe earlier. They NYC mayoral race is like no other, and Zohran Mamdani's Democratic primary win is a win like no other. The establishment fears him; the political class has been trying to stop him, and with good reason. Zohran is a populist who seems to actually be a man of the people! Not many saw him coming, because no one would bet that voters could find someone with genuine merit. Credit should go to ranked choice voting's ability to sift out the individual voter's judgement away from the rankest choice, Andrew Cuomo. As Donald K. Trump famously said of his bombing of Iran, “I came, I saw, I conquered”. Lately though, Trump's been quoted, “Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them?” (He might have picked up that quote elsewhere.) Is Emil Bove the most unethical judicial nominee in modern history? Or is the real sinner the whistleblower who snitched on him? If Trump is infallible, perceiving his actions as failures is heresy, and threatening him is blasphemy, and the whole idea of ethics and morality is open to discussion. HUD likes the National Science Foundation headquarters, so they are throwing out 1,800 employees. Maybe they'll locate affordable housing for them. At least you won't see Big Balls hanging out around DC… unless you mistake him for JD Vance.

David Waldman is solo today, in front of the microphone, and behind. So, ease off of him, will ya? Hallelujah! Donald K. Trump and his BFF, God, declared peace for our time yesterday… No... PEACE FOR ALL TIME! No more holy wars, only eternal holy love from…  Hold on, we have breaking news that Donald's estimate was a bit off… or perhaps God's... FUUUUU… Oh, well, Trump cannot fail his children, they can only fail him. Calm down everybody. Except for the shooting and the bombs and the dying and such, there's all sorts of peace between Iran and Israel. Raise the Mission Accomplished banners, quick, and engrave those Nobel medals today, just in case. Y'know, Kamala and Hilary told us this would happen. Give Americans two weeks, and they'll have forgotten all about this. Meanwhile, rule of law, democracy, etc. remain concerns. Masked gunmen ride into town, beating and intimidating citizens, which used to be frowned upon. Now the villains defy courts and common sense with impunity. The Supreme Court's ruling in DHS v. D.V.D. might sound unfamiliar, but has removed due process, and will maybe kill thousands of immigrants. Why the long face, Emil? Emil Bove is finding out that recommending the violation of court orders is unbecoming for a judge, maybe even a lawyer.

Give me a "K! ..."K"! give me an "I"! ..."I"! Give me a "T"! ..."T" Give me a "M"! ..."M"! WHATS THAT SPELL?   David Waldman and Greg Dworkin return this week with a golden oldie that some of you out there might remember: Well, come on all of you big strong men, Uncle Sam needs your help again. He got himself in a terrible jam, way down yonder in Iran! Put down your books and pick up a gun, we're gunna have a whole lotta fun!   Turns out that Donakd… Donald K. Trump has never been awfully TACO when it comes to other people's lives… and we're talking Muslims here.  He's also not against regime change when it's other people's regimes. However, he hates capitalism when it gets in the way of his capitalism. And, never, ever, dare to take his limelight.   CHORUS And its 1,2,3 what are we fightin for? Don't ask me, I don't give a damn, the next stop is Iran. And its 5,6,7 open up the pearly gates. Well, there ain't no time to wonder why... Whoopee we're all gunna die!   It appears that Donald and Bibi arranged to reach around and wag each other's dogs in Iran. It was an intimate circle wag, however, so Democrats and JD Vance weren't invited. People could watch it on the internet if they chose to, and even Pete Hegseth got midnight hammered...   Now come on wall street don't be so slow, why man this's war a-go-go-go! There's plenty good money to be made, supplyin' the army with the tools of the trade. Just hope and pray that when they drop the bomb, they drop it on the other ones!   … Anyhow, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, except Trump is no W, more of an L. Who knows what the future might bring? (We kind of know...)   CHORUS And its 1,2,3 what are we fightin for? Don't ask me I don't give a damn, the next stop is Iran. And its 5,6,7 open up the pearly gates. Well, there ain't no time to wonder why...Whoopee we're all gunna die!   Now, come on generals let's move fast, your big chance is here at last. Tonight, you go out and get those reds, cuz the only good commie is one that's dead, You know that peace can only be won, when you blow em all to kingdom come!   CHORUS And its 1,2,3 what are we fightin for? Don't ask me I don't give a damn, the next stop is Iran. And its 5,6,7 open up the pearly gates. Well, there ain't no time to wonder why...Whoopee we're all gunna die!   … Oh, and there's an election in New York City.  Vote Zohran. ABC: Anybody but Cuomo. Not as a joke, not out of name recognition, this is ranked choice voting, so too many second-choice picks could elect the wrong guy...   Now come on mothers throughout the land, pack your boys off to Iran. Come on fathers don't hesitate, send your sons off before it's too late, Be the first one on your block, to have your boy come home in a box!   CHORUS And its 1,2,3 what are we fightin for? Don't ask me I don't give a damn, the next stop is Iran. And its 5,6,7 open up the pearly gates. Well, there ain't no time to wonder why...Whoopee we're all gunna die!