Podcast appearances and mentions of greg dworkin

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin attempt a follow-up to my birthday show. RIP Tim Curry, an actor of incredible range… He even did the rock! If one allows improperly credentialed astrologers to post crap astrology, it diminishes the trust we all have in predictive artists, although some will assert that we now need more rather than fewer. For instance, Donald K. Trump loves the polls that love him, even as those polls are becoming harder to find. MAGAs don't want their Gops taking their cushion. A Gop going against Jon Ossoff in Georgia had a staffer who enjoyed swastikas, wearing KKK robes and calling himself a "twink fascist". There does seem to be a lot of that going around. The world's biggest AI data center is being built in Ohio, packing the power and resource waste of several big cities into the footprint of a single large town. Georgia Gop Gov. Brian Kemp loves his data centers and will not let them go. Bill Gates is beginning to feel bad about introducing everyone to their new AI overlords… I told you that if Dems didn't make an issue of Flock cameras, Republicans would, but did you listen? Multiple states will fight Trump's mail-in ballots restrictions. Texas has already suspended more than 1 million voters. Trump figures it's about time for his tickertape parade on his Iran war triumph, after he kills a some more dead guys. If Donald wins a few more wars, they will let him rename everything. If only Canada and others wouldn't make things so difficult! Can you guess what Canadians plan to do with Trump's tariffs and proclamations? The Navy sailor who jumped off the USS Lincoln is now facing disciplinary charges, while a woman raped is told it's a worker's comp issue. Some Secret Service officials must have done something horrific to be placed on leave. IndyCar officials now outrank government employees.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin join the world in celebrating my birthday. When buying me gifts, remember to type the word "KAGRO", because… it's worth a try. A much, much larger part of that world mourns the loss of Dolly Parton. And for good reason, Dolly had a lot going for her. Mourners go across the political spectrum, but it's pretty certain that she didn't. Donald ordered flags at half-staff, as every woman in his orbit for the last 40 years has paid to look like Parton, and as Dolly would tell you, it costs a lot of money to look that cheap. And now Tim Curry too! Many voters feel that there's a "uni-party" and that their vote does not matter. Supporters of Hakeem Jeffries say, "You ignorant morons don't understand the realities of politics and can vote Republican if you just want to be dummies." Maybe we are under the reign of Great Britain after all. James Talarico is ahead of Ken Paxton, according to polls. According to money, too. Jar Head Salsa tycoon/Jan 6 traitor/patriot Tom Smith finds himself nominated for his Michigan House district. Polling shows Dan Sullivan leading Dan Sullivan in Alaska. The Donald K. Trump midterm political convention will be about Trump, as is Lake Ontario, as is the John F. Kennedy Center. Natalie Harp is all about Trump. Pete Hegseth is eliminating every General not qualified to be a Fox weekend host.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring harmony to the chaos. WAR! Donald K. Trump has done all he can to provoke the most un-provokable neighbor a country has ever had. Now he has a new war to lose that America will continue to lose after he's gone. The US Navy continues to lose its war against Trump. The USS Lincoln sailors finally return home to their families, as long as their families haven't yet been abducted by ICE. Navy families evacuated from Bahrain remain stranded. Any of them returning home to Gary, Indiana will be greeted with familiar conditions. Loudoun County, home of KITM World Headquarters, have surrendered to their data center overlords long ago and might be becoming habituated, but in places like Ohio, the centers are now entering with AI and Flock(ish) cameras and an increasingly abusive and silly police state, which are all pretty much supported by Gops, though less so with MAGA, and hence are a midterms problem for Republicans. Democrats are in great shape… as long as they offer complex solutions to complex issues, never overpromise and above all, remain electable. Once the American public becomes fully educated to understand the nomenclature and internal structure behind government processes, Democrats should be a lock. Meanwhile, Dan Sullivan endorses Dan Sullivan to beat Dan Sullivan, who's no Danny Sullivan. Danny didn't win yesterday's finale of America's glorious semi sesquicentennial celebration but probably would have had if he started on the pole.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin inch open the Thursday news levee. Natalie Harp! How does she do it? How DARE we discuss Natalie banging that stud Donald K. Trump? Hey now! Natalie loves Donald like she would love any top executive, you know… in a "biblical sense"… which of course includes hiding in trunks, sleeping on the floor, and maintaining one's pants and any items therein. Heaven forfend any notion of "wifely duties"! Those, Melania can keep. Pete Hegseth's "Natalie Harp" is his wife, who knows better than to give Pete any leash. Wait a second. Is all this just a distraction from the important issues? Yep, but we have time for those also. Deportations and the economy are losers for Trump, as well as the candidates he is endorsing. Shock! Polls show that Republicans are behind in America's reddest states. Democrats reign victorious in hypothetical matchups, probably across multiple universes. No one wants to read a horoscope written by a false astrologer, and similarly, no one would want fake polling, unless they found a profit in it. The White House has its own fake vote.gov. You don't need polls to know people hate data centers, and the data they center from AI and Flock cameras, because all your friends will tell you all about it. Gops were a little slow on the uptake however because all their friends are investors, yet have recently begun to catch on, from Ohio, down to Texas. America's strategic oil reserve is so low that it might collapse our economy, but if it gets any lower it could collapse the salt domes used to store it.

David Waldman brings us more news and more thoughts about said news. Greg Dworkin brings his Raft O' Stories™, and an economy–sized bag of primary takeaways. In the Florida elections, it was a bad night for bad guy Cory Mills, who had Donald K. Trump's "Complete and Total Endorsement." Trump never did like him, now. Cory was just one of Trump's losers, with various carpetbaggers going down. Florida cleaned house, even the Sarasota school board flipped. Debbie Wasserman Schultz defeated all the black candidates in a new black district, because "electability", yet Angie Nixon beat Alexander Vindman for a Quixotic tilt at the midterms. Vindman losing is the only thing Donald remembers from the night. There was a near-total massacre for the Freedom Caucus in the Wyoming primary, and yet another Trump loser. In Pennsylvania, Dems flipped a Trump 18+ district, which had to hurt more than his ear. Gops need election deniers because Dems are going to be denying them elections. Everybody's pissing on data centers, and you know what, they have a point. Dems are missing a bet if they don't get behind the growing anti-surveillance movement soon. ICE and those who want to persecute anti-ICE are part of Flock's growing customer base. Flock isn't only useful to the budding Stasi agents in ICE, it's a great tool for ICE stalkers, sex criminals and child abusers as well. Compliant Technologies products are perfect for rapists, but also invaluable for those who need a record of someone fighting back recorded to their bodycams. Donald and Pete Hegseth are playing a game of Battleship, and both look like they are winning. Natalie Harp, how does she… Oh man, you do NOT want to know how she does it. The biggest proof that MAGA is a cult is that they actually believe that Trump is having sex with her.

David Waldman is back again to help us plough through the mudslide of Trump chaos. Greg Dworkin somehow helps by towing in not one, but two Rafts O' Stories™, a plethora of polls, and an excrement of X posts. Polls are often wrong, usually worthless, yet are as valuable as horoscopes when their forecast contains flattery. BTW, Dems are ahead! All over the place! When it's policy vs. "electability", pollsters say their polls are polling great. Data centers poll lower than Thanksgiving. It's Centrist vs Progressive for the Democratic party, which wouldn't be a contest if it was on policy… nor is it a contest when it comes to electability. Gop policy on Medicaid would ruin their electability if anyone were to find out about it. As would their policies about anything, really. That's why Gops are concentrating on electability, especially on reducing Democratic electability, to offset their voters who lost faces to leopards. Gops want to make 2020 great again. Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani 势头! Donald K. Trump's war with Iran is going so well that he's thinking of making the Strait of Hormuz our 51st state. Donald wishes his war would just go on forever, especially for the Navy. It's too bad that the Navy's base in Bahrain was bombed. Maybe if we bombed Oman, it would fix it? Trump remembered that South Korea pissed him off that one time, so maybe he'll just let North Korea rough them up a little. After all, what has North Korea ever done to us? Donald can't have E. Jean Carroll's $5 Million. Shut up, Donald. Trump's mouthpiece Todd Blanche won't shut up.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin return with more insights and jocularity. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself… Well, not Dems. They love to be scared of fear. Tuesdays, they desperately cling to polls, while terrified that those polls might betray them once again. Wednesdays, they see that their worst fears have been realized. Thursdays, they discover that it's actually not the poll's fault, it's theirs for valuing "policies and issues" with their candidates, when they should've instead been worried about their "electability"… but then panic as the only method of guessing the candidate's electability are…POLLS!!! Bum–Bum–Bummmm! You never see Donald K. Trump sweating the small stuff, or the big stuff. So what, a few of his staff take a missile for him? Whatever. He made sure all the "10"'s got out, didn't he? Anyhow, he was actually diverting the missiles towards himself in order to save the journalists… and Morgan Fairchild! Yeah, that's it. That's the ticket! The whole point of the Gop is to appoint foxes to henhouses, so you would expect a sex abuser and trafficker to get $244 Million to watch migrant children. Pete Hegseth transferred a contract from a black-owned company to a Trump donor, marking it up 325%. Harmeet Dhillon swore in more than 100 Civil Rights lawyers but then forgot to mention who they were.

Would you like to hear about yesterday's primaries? If so, you've come to the right place, KITM, with the right people, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin, to satisfy all your post-primary cravings. In Connecticut, voters embraced change and sent warhorse John Larson out to pasture. In Minnesota, the primary upended political assumptions in 6 ways, none of which are as fun as watching Mike Lindell (and Trump) lose. Mike, ever the crowd pleaser, plans to lose the election over and over again for the foreseeable future. In South Carolina, Darline Graham and Trump aren't yet losing but are now failing. In Wisconsin, it wasn't quite a progressive triumph, but almost, with Francesca Hong's last-minute plateauing and normie Dems flooding the polls. David Crowley might not like campaigning, but apparently, he seems to love holidays. Almost no one is as normie or as old as James Carville, yet he supports Abdul El-Sayed. On to the midterms, if we can keep them. Every slimeball is spit balling election subversion, including the Wad in Chief. The problem is that people hate trump, which in turn keeps boosting Democratic numbers. Also, election subversion tends to be illegal… as if hatred or illegality ever bothered Trump before. Election denier Cleta Mitchell granted DHS elections official Heather Honey a lot of money. A special grand jury might not find enough evidence to bring anyone to trial, but it will allow Jeanine Pirro and Trump to be incredibly catty. So far, Donald K. Trump has been able to stuff 5 scandals into his "Air Force One" Scandal, but there's always room for plenty more!

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin return from a chaos weekend that was a little quieter now that Donald K. Trump is getting his pants steamed regularly. Not to say things are "better"… or even "good", it's just that the wall of reality might be rising too high for Trump and Gops to toss feces over. The US lost Trump's war with Iran and also Iran won their war with Trump. Sadly, this happened because Democrats did not clap hard enough. Iran might allow us to retreat, if we retreat from the Strait of Hormuz, yet thousands of sailors and Marines are still stranded on the USS Lincoln. Israel wants no advice from Trump on how they should lose in Gaza. The cost of living, job losses, immigration crackdowns, and data centers will be a big deal for the midterms, but candidate style matters, too. Maine Dem Troy Jackson points out the obvious about Susan Collins, so that even Democrats dumb enough to vote for her can understand. Reality just might catch up to somebody on the reflecting pool fiasco. Jeanine Pirro? Doug Burgum? Nah, and definitely never Trump. Sunlight is the best disinfectant and might have finally removed Andy Ogles. Donald definitely has a type, and Stephen Miller will have Will Scharf competing with him for attention in the Oval Office. Gop election denier Mike Rogers somehow finds nothing objectionable about his primary win yet is predicted to be quite skeptical about Abdul El-Sayed's future progress. Boom! Emptywheel embraces the low-attention span types that she famously eschews in order to describe how the DOJ invoking Trump v. US to protect Todd Blanche's fixer, Aakash Singh.

David Waldman brings us to Thursday, by more or less being at the right place at the right time. The Senate has been busy, finalizing a stopgap funding bill to move the shutdown to hopefully a different Senate. They also launched an entire network of fake news and have only begun to hassle Dr. Anthony S. (Science!) Fauci. Greg Dworkin rolled up his sleeve and reached deep into a slimy cyclosporiatic orifice of ex-Twitter and pulled out some fresh polls for you. They're oh so tasty and probably won't make you sick later. Also, some Poindexter is suddenly ahead of Max Miller in Ohio, which is good, as Miller sucks. Remember, vote BLUE no matter… who now? Abdul El-Sayed? Abdulrahman Mohamed El-Sayed? Well… good thing we live in a post-racial... we don't? Oh well, that name thing sure worked against Amir Hassan, who was backed by Donald Woke Trump. Today, the words "El-Sayed" pleasantly roll off the tongue of lots of happy Democrats, and many disgruntled ones too… who all need to pull it together now to make this happen. Will he win? El-Sayed is pulling his weight, let's see his support. What's in a name? Ask Elaine Luria. No, Elise Stefanik… No, Elissa Slotkin. She's the young up and coming… down and going establishment Dem, right? Now Ronald Lauder. That name used to mean something. But now that he's no longer writing it on checks, who cares? Sean Duffy, like his boss, understands that in the media production biz, getting and spending money is the best part of the creative process. Releasing a product only invites criticism, and who needs that? A few months back, Border Patrol stormtroopers shooting their laser guns into the air were able to hit a kid's party balloon yet were able to rack up more fatalities jamming the GPS of a medevac aircraft. More recently, Marine One lifted off without proper permission but luckily did not need to shoot down any passenger jets in order to do so.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin team up to fight the forces of injustice, chaos, and general stupidity. Has Jeanine Pirro been sent to the bottom of the Donald K. Trump Kafka Khaki reflecting pool yet? Jeanine might have bought herself some time by literally carting over evidence to force the old man to look at before it's shipped to some undisclosed bathroom. Democratic voters are tired of focus-group establishment Dems, and moderate Dems are already tired of crazy progressives. And yet, temporarily arrayed, they could be quite powerful heading into the midterms. Of course, they are blessed with Trump. His usefulness as an idiot is waning with even the Gops, and you don't need to tell independents twice to stampede in a new direction. In Michigan, Abdul El-Sayed outperformed his name, and the establishment, to win his primary. Trump's candidate lost to a guy that stopped campaigning weeks ago. Missouri usually isn't too big on Democrats, but they still prefer democracy. The Kansas Supreme Court would look nice in DC. Texas also embraces voting and rejects phony voter fraud voting suppression. Not that election denialists are going anywhere soon. In fact, some are completely refusing to leave. Republicans are beginning to think that God is rigged against them. Climate has changed to the degree that the Danube River has receded back to the time when wooly mammoths and Nazi soldiers roamed the earth, leaving live ordnance in their wake. Donald was sad to hear kindred soul Max Miller must bear such vicious accusations, but such is the burden great men carry.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin take on a new day, week, month, and the same old chaos. Donald K. Trump won his 43rd club championship at one of his courses. It's called TALENT, and money. You know Donald. Always bullshitting. You know he is, he knows he is. Leave it there, you're cool, but call Trump on it and you have a fight. Because, admitting he's wrong just isn't part of the game… and not playing along can lose you a job, send you to prison, or worse. Capital One was playing along, but Trump wouldn't walk away, could not shut up, and Capital One quit playing. It made absolutely no difference if Todd Blanche formally rescinded Trump's J6 slush fund, which is why Blanche did it. Gops are playing along with that, but Trump doesn't play along with anybody's bullshit but his own. Dems are strongly favored to take the House, and maybe the Senate. Abdul El-Sayed's name might not be enough to keep voters from scratching in the bubble next to it. Low-turnout voters might not turn out. Indecisive Democrats aren't sure what to do. Gop staff is filling up with young Groypers. The Evangelical Church is filled people who are Christian as an afterthought.

David Waldman has the news! Greg Dworkin has the polls! Voters disprove of Donald K. Trump. Let us count the ways: Lowest approval of either term. Low on his war. Low on his economy. Lowest for independents. Low on white, non-college, males. Trump doesn't have a problem with any of that, but midterm voters seem to care a lot, as just about everyone's polling is tilting left. Of course, the election isn't today, there's plenty of dummies out there, and even Barack Obama can't set them all straight. Meanwhile, Dems like Matt Schultz can't find the money to run against Gops like The Master's Academy alum Nick Begich III. Then there's those Progressives, or Democratic Socialists, or whatever they are calling themselves today, out there disarraying everything, protesting all their data centers and flock cameras… Hippies! If a guy named Abdul El-Sayed can run for Senate, times might be changing… or might not. Maybe they can't figure out the ballot. Ohioans around Springfield can't wait to move into those sweet big Haitian houses and high-pay Haitian jobs that were stolen from them. In the meantime, their old neighbors and friends will just have to die. Either Secret Service professionals actually determined that James Comey planned a hit on Trump, or they just felt like hassling him. Most start measuring the drapes before they get to DC. Trump can't stop. Donald wants to show off his latest several billion-dollar pretty thing he created, you know, the same way bosses always "create" things. It will have the WORLD'S LARGEST GARAGE, and eliminate "mobile lounges", no doubt because their update would have been electric.

David Waldman helps haul in Greg Dworkin's usual Raft O' Stories™, which was light on primaries, but had Plenty O' Polls™! More people like Donald K. Trump less than ever! The fact is, most Americans don't approve of awful people. Most Democrats are not awful people, so this might work in their favor for the midterms, if they can fight their natural urge to disarray. The 2028 Democratic primary calendar favors progressives. Progressives are turning away from establishment media. Democratic voters are turning away from establishment candidates. Francesca Hong seems nice, and smart, and progressive, which seems like a good combo this year. James Talarico is all of those things, plus a few more, and Ken Paxton is none of them. Troy Jackson has, well, a couple of those attributes, which might just be enough. Abdul El-Sayed does not have Troy Jackson's nor James Talarico's name. Ohio does not have all of its marbles, but who knows this year… Everybody is NIMBYing away from data centers, so Trump will probably mandate them for blue states. Trump wants his Supreme Court to overturn his E. Jean Carroll settlement, as it says right in the Constitution that presidents cannot lose lawsuits. Trump has been too busy presidentially thumbing through material swatches for his Dulles International Airport makeover, which just might be the best use of his time.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here to summarize the chaos of the weekend. I, in turn, summarize that into this tiny nutritious pellet for your consumption. The worst thing about White House Correspondents Dinner is that they feel that they have to keep telling us about it. The only news ever is its chronic persistence. The White House press corps could have stood up, but they came to sit down. Donald K. Trump told jokes, explained the jokes, then posted AI explainers of the jokes and the hilarity feels like it just might never stop. Laura Loomer is not Lauren Boebert, Anna Paulina Luna, or even Sid Rosenberg, but if she read it the internet, she would believe it. Once decided, Laura changes her mind less often than Donald changes his diaper, so it's a shock to see her come out for Ukraine. Tim Pool also flips on Ukraine. Must be something in the water. Bold and brilliant military strategists Donald and Pete ran out of ammunition and requested a time out. Pete Hegseth gets rid of generals faster than Vladimir Putin. Generic Dems lead, and Gop enthusiasms are gone, but as the midterms near it is expected that Republicans will be trying to destroy the elections and Democrats will try to destroy themselves. Their enemy, as always, are Progressives. Senate Gop candidate Mike Rogers is rooting for Abdul El-Sayed for a number of reasons, most of them obvious. The thing is, Black voters are also against El-Sayed. Maine has put the recent unpleasantness behind them and are now ready to decide the future of progressive populism for all mankind. The real enemy, as always, are political consultants. Political consultants want to make the past great again. California's primary vote count might have been slow, but 150 thousand voters were slower. People like voting by mail, though. Brazil worries about Trump rigging their elections. Blue state Minnesota burns because DOGE told them to "drop dead". People that Elon Musk doesn't think about simply do not exist… which sure gives you a clear idea of the future of "Universal Basic Income", doesn't it?

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin got together again, and all was good and proper for about an hour this week. Well, 'ello, Gub'ner! Trump's Andy Biggs will contest gubernatorially against Cindy McCain's Katie Hobbs in Arizona. Dem Francesca Hong has broken into the lead in Wisconsin. Platner replacement Troy Jackson is ahead of Susan Collins for Senator in Maine with a winning message. Authenticity is so crazy, it just might work. It's now a Dem/Gop dead heat for the Senate in the generic… Of course, MAGA is ready to forgive a lot of Gop sins in their candidate, especially when the alternative is a Commie. Too bad Canadians aren't voting. Gops don't want to talk 2020 fraud in 2026, especially when it's their plan for election takeovers in 2028. Everything Trump touches dies. Or it tries to kill us. Or make others want to kill us. Or maybe wish death upon others. Even death is no escape from Trump assholery. Donald K. Trump art of the dealed the Sauds nukes. Maybe they'll give him something really cool. Trump's Iran war has cost $37.5 billion so far, but Pete Hicseth figures he can tie up all the loose ends for about three times that. Speaking of triple, that's how much Donald Trump Jr's investments in Donald Trump Sr.'s pet causes have increased in value in only months. OpenAI's AI facehugged Hugging Face servers, which is not good, man. The New York Times recognizes Denise Oliver-Velez. Larry the Cat knows how to treat the press right.

Chaos! David Waldman barely made it through today's KITM. Greg Dworkin called in to say he wasn't calling in. Then we lost our live feed because of the wildfires up north in… not where our Maniac in Chief is aiming his napalm, but at our telecommunications hub in Oregon, hopefully not too near to Justice Putnam! Those Trump buoys cause about as much trouble as Those Trump boys. Trump's Qatari 747 is going back to the shop to get "maxed out". Donald will be disappointed that doesn't include gold-plated wire rims. Trump airport needs more money from taxpayers before it begins kickbacks to non-taxpayers. Trump got one more jinx in before the World Cup finals. Donald left a moral stain on the entire event but dropped his biggest stink at Spain's World Cup celebrations, that he wanted to make the Trump celebration. That smell is the kind that lingers but can be scrubbed away with effort. Everyone booed either Trump or Gianni Infantino. Only one of them gives a damn. Somehow, Trump has not completely killed the SAVE act, while Congress and Senate take a few more whacks at it. Lisa Murkowski is more concerned about her state than Trump. There's another Vance today. There goes the neighborhood.

Will Donald K. Trump create a singularity of cretinous lies tonight massive enough to swallow the United States, or will this be his taco of all tacos? There's only one way to find out, and that is to listen to David Waldman tomorrow describe the Bluesky posts commenting on those who heard about what Trump said. Don't watch tonight, as you can't get too close… the stupid, they say, it burns. For certain, Trump will not be talking about his federal prosecutor marching on June 6, or the text messages not just covered up, but erased. Greg Dworkin not only hauls in his usual Raft O'Stories™, but talks like a sailor too! A record 58% of battleground voters disapprove of Trump. Dem Haley Stevens is7 points ahead of Dem Abdul El-Sayed in Michigan for Senator. Following the primary, their factions are hopefully to become re-arrayed for the election, or at least hopefully hold each other in higher regard than they would some Gop candidate with the Nazi son-in-law. California's Xavier Becerra is crushing Gop Steve Hilton's gubernatorials. House Gops have pretty much run out of time to pass their reconciliation package. You will not hear the answer to who won the 2020 election in the Senate confirmation hearings. You won't hear the answer to any questions, really. If actions speak louder than words, though, Todd Blanche just might not get the unanimous Gop support he needs to get confirmed. ICE continues to maraud, mauling the rights andbodies of anyone they're unable to get a kill shot on. The Secret Service does not want to be JD Vance's Uber. RIP to local legend Denise Oliver Velez.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here to box up today's chaos. ICE has announced a temporary reduction in streetside executions. Federal hitmen do not take out exactly the correct people but at least meet quotas. Susan Collins might be a little concerned that this would happen to her, but Trump could not be more delighted that someone handles this for him before he takes the Lugar over later in this term. This Thursday night, Donald K. Trump plans to make this Friday morning more stupid than any on record. IQs might remain at record lows for weeks. John Ossoff knows why Trump is doing this. In Michigan, the Senate race is wide open, although falling into maybe familiar patterns. Minnesota governor's race is falling into a psychedelic pattern. Democrats lead by 26 points among "double haters" because voters just can't find as much to hate them about. $5.6 million goes to E. Jean Carroll. Meh, Trump can clear that in three medium bribes. Too bad for Donald that a unitary executive can't sue themselves or he'd have the USA deposited in the Caymen Islands by now. The art of dealing with Trump is to never make a deal with Trump. It shouldn't take AI to tell you that DOGE used AI to create federal policy. New York becomes the first state to impose a data center moratorium. RIP, Pat Oliphant, IMO, the reason that several generations got into politics.

Greg Dworkin helped us round up the chaos of this R -1 weekend. Did you have Lindsey Graham buying the farm before Mitch McConnell? What's the process in South Carolina for replacing Graham? Will Republicans just dip into the loser bench from their most recent statewide primary? Too soon to start thinking about how the Republican Infirmity Crisis will impact the balance of power in the next Congress? Ha ha! Trick question! There's no such concept as "too soon" anymore! Texas may yet escape Republican clutches, with the Deporter-in-Chief always on the ballot. But don't let Democratic successes get you optimistic! It's time to bite your nails about [dramatic music]… Democratic Socialists! In random news: One of those "looksmaxxing" dumbasses is dead now, too. Even though he didn't die, there's a bit of procedural drama surrounding the replacement process for Rigor Tortoise. Remember the time we spent last week on the NATO countries working on making their escape from the US umbrella? Well, it's not just NATO anymore. And speaking of craptacular foreign entanglements, Jared Kushner may have just stepped in it, in Albania. Which borders on the Adriatic.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin! Here! Today! Graham Platner has dropped out of the Maine Senate race. Well, pretty much, it's hard to tell. Platner doesn't seem to be much into introspection… which is the mark of a real blue-collar man, amirite guys? Donald K. Trump knew that Graham was a pig, and kindred spirit, the moment that he saw him. Democrats, however, haven't been quite sure which one of themselves that they should blame for this, but do agree it will put them at a perfect advantage once they replace Platner with the perfect candidate that they all can become arrayed behind. Gops wouldn't get in a mess like this, because they don't. Maine has fewer gubernatorial vexations. Mallory McMorrow doesn't have Nazi tats or screw around, but she's out anyhow. Meanwhile, Mike Rogers is a strong candidate. He's the STRONGEST candidate RARR! Trump flew his phony baloney Air Force Oneto Turkey and flew the real one back. After all, what's the point of being safe if you don't look cool? Trump had reasons, which were not believed, to which our Master Prevaricator shouted in retort, "That's simple, I was only LYING!" Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear wants Mitch McConnell to update him on his health… Ha, the joke's on Andy! At NATO, Turkish President Erdogan handed out guns like party favors. What will Mark Carney and Keir Starmer do? Trump should have no problem, as long as he has enough suit pockets empty of silverware and signing pens. A judge has ordered that E. Jean Carroll's $5 million be released to her. Maybe, she got it today. Federal Judge Emil Bove's verdict is that he luvs Donald. Zohran Mamdani is a "football" fan who will call it "soccer", no problem. He does not like VAR, however. Trump doesn't know what a red card is for, after all, his favorite sport is "ruining things".

David Waldman spoke to Mitch McConnell for about 20 minutes this morning, as he often does to prepare for shows. Mitch would like us all to remember that anyone can be a supporter of KITM on Patreon for the incredibly low price of only $5 per month! Noted anglophile Greg Dworkin reports that noted twat Nigel Farage has been appointed Crown Steward and Bailiff of Three of the Chiltern Hundreds, which sure is one way to attempt to keep out of jail for laundering crypto-pounds. Unfortunately for Nige, this puts him directly in the path of trash statesman Count Binface, Vermin Supreme of the Albion. Texas Gop Ken Paxton is hiding out in England or perhaps has found a new place to vote in the midterms. Either way, someone should quickly appoint him to something. Everything that dotard Donald K. Trump touches dies, except algae, and the Islamic Republic of Iran. There is no going back to our relationship with Europe. Greenland could use a restraining order, although that might encourage stalker violence without proper enforcement. Gops desperately hoping to save the Senate get a breather in Maine. Gops in Congress can enjoy the scenery on their way down. Zohran Mamdani is more popular than Benjamin Netanyahu, therefore, Rahm Emanuel will be Zohran Mamdani, or at least not Benjamin Netanyahu. Trump's kids all wanted an airplane ride… Ok, not his "kids", but his cabinet, but Donald doesn't like to play favorites... Ok, he loves to play favorites. It turns out that rich guys who have run out of things to spend money on, can buy airplanes.

Well, we made it through July 4th weekend! The "Great American State Fair" continued to frustrate and disappoint the weird few who insisted on attending. Or trying to, anyway. Fake "pavilions" filled with half-assed "exhibits" that lots of states wanted nothing to do with. Even so, some were made to look like they were participating, even when they weren't. And the look was not good! All-in-all, we should just be glad they didn't burn anything down. Greg Dworkin was here to remind us that there was plenty of other stuff happening this weekend, anyway. Bribery, marching Nazis, FIFA corruption. You know, the usual. Speaking of those marching Nazis, know why it was so easy to get so many of them into DC on July 4th? Probably because they were already there. Interesting developments in the Michigan Senate race, where state senator Mallory McMorrow ended her campaign, leaving just two main Dem contenders in the race. Where will her voters go? Not easy to tell. They'll probably all turn socialist! But not for the reason you might think: i.e., that they're socialists now. They probably just want someone who'll kick a little ass. And there are a lot that need kicking. Meanwhile, the regular onslaught of corruption stories continued unabated. Along with a bunch of people Trump claimed were jailed for "fixing their cars," he also pardoned (by strange coincidence) yet another Perv-A-Lago fraudster, this time one maybe tied to a wee bit of murder. And just for a bit of semiquincentennial fun, what movies best capture America? Well, hold onto your Uncle Sam hats, because America's Poet Laureate might just be the creator of Beavis and Butt-Head.

David Waldman won't be attending the Freedom 850,000 Fireworks this Saturday. He can sweat in the dark in his own living room, thank you very much. To help celebrate our nation's 250th birthday, Donald K. Trump will add one more layer of realism to his World War III cosplay in DC, with Saturday's 15 hours of shock and awe, emphasis on the shocking and awfulness. You can't bring food or water but do pack a gas mask and plenty of spare oxygen. Trump might do a flyover in the new Air Force One, which came in on time and only double the budget, by saving on those gaudy missile detection, countermeasure, security, and communication systems. It would seem that Donald does not put a lot of thought into the safety and wellbeing of others, but how would you explain Trump's executive order on pesticides… other than he just does what the last guy told him? It would seem that Trump is constantly losing, but he'd be gone in a second if that really was the case. No matter how much everyone else loses, Trump and his family are having the best time every minute of every day. You know when Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman of Saudi Arabia feels swindled, it's bad. You can't prosecute Trump's Board of Peace because they have decided that you can't. Greg Dworkin has the latest on the midterms, which Senate Gops still don't have to worry about, because of "math". Then again, that math could change. For instance, a close Senate contest is brewing in Iowa, and Jon Ossoff holds a double-digit lead in Georgia. Phil Weiser defeated Michael Bennet in the Colorado governor primary and who doesn't hope that he goes against Victor Marx? Victor will not say how many people he's killed, nor predict how many he will in the future, and yet he still comes off better than Jared Polis. The Vatican excommunicated bishops of a breakaway traditionalist sect. Now do JD Vance!

It's another Primary Day morrow, and Greg Dworkin brings the takeaways, today from Colorado. Phil Weiser beats stalwart Michael Bennet in the gubernatorial. 29-year-old Democratic socialist Melat Kiros has the Mamdanimentum over old-timer Diana DeGette. Young Democratic Socialist Maurice Brown also has the "Mo". Grumpy old Dems become grumpier. There's more to come. Control of the Senate is up for grabs, but the RNC has control of the $100 million. Sherrod Brown is no young socialist, but he knows Ohio. The Donald K. Trump Supreme Court almost killed birthright citizenship. Gops who hope to murder the Constitution for good, ironically hope that a Constitutional amendment will do it, but first plan to torture it a while. A few Trump losses did slip through, for the moment. E. Jean Carroll isn't waiting around. DOGE installed visitor-tracking software on vital federal websites. Meanwhile, Trump wants a master list of spies, but spies don't want to give Trump the list. If Donald wants it, he can come and get it.

It's chaos out there, but David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have got this part all figured out, comparatively. Generic Democrats are trouncing generic Republicans heading towards the midterms, probably because there are fewer "generic" Democrats running for office. Zohran Kwame Mamdani was too smart to become featured in the New York Post swimsuit edition. MAGA are too stupid to step in out of the rain. Donald K. Trump is running out of time to rig the election. Graham Platner has only begun to concern Susan Collins. In Alaska, Dan Sullivan is Dan Sullivan's biggest headache. Trump was indicted under the Espionage Act, which is one of many things you should be able to look into but can't. Todd Blanche's DOJ is violating the Epstein Files Transparency Act and Katie Phang is making him pay for it. Trump is solving Iran like Putin is solving Crimea. Mike Johnson is walking the fine line between compliance and complicity. In keeping with existing Trump guidelines, Bill Pulte has hired a Gop operative who looks like a Fox News anchor, likes to party, but acts like a tradwife (wink!) and really knows how to pad a LinkedIn. Trump is eager to begin work on the East Potomac public golf course before the law catches up with him and stops him.

Beach day! Well, sort of. I don't think the weather is entirely ready to cooperate, but I'll be nearby the beach in case the weather is better on Saturday. But between packing for the trip and hoping to watch a little World Cup action, I couldn't get a new show recorded for you. Still, I think this episode from one year ago may be instructive, in that it takes us back to the first round of the Trump 2.0 armed conflict with Iran. So it's a chance to see it all coming, which might not quite be uplifting, but like I said, hopefully instructive. Here's how Scott Anderson described the happenings from that morning: David Waldman is back on the air again, LIVE! Greg Dworkin returns, with mega polls! No, not Trump's high poles, but Trump's low polls, along with the latest takeaways from the KITM World Headquarters Primaries… well, Virginia primaries, same difference. Will TikTok TACO Trump chicken out with Iran? We're talking about millions of actual lives here… so maybe not. MAGA thought they opposed such things as "forever wars", but they'll get over it, like their opposition to Russia. It's easy to do when you think about it, and even easier when you don't. You'd think that making conspiracy theorists put up or shut up would put them in some sort of bind, but these are a spunky and resilient group of whackadoodles. Confronted with a tragically factual Christian nationalist assassin, they expeditiously took reality lemons and turned them into MAGA lemonade. Chinese license plates and thousands of cards stole the 2020 election for Bernie Sanders. Not many people know that. Donald K. Trump is objectively bad for America. Journalists are hesitant to point that out, lest their network soapboxes be turned into real ones. Still, with protests, it pays to not give MAGA a seed of truth to roll their dung around. Nonviolence is the way. Then later, we'll impeach the bastard, maybe this term, maybe his third or fourth. Four execs from the top tech companies in Silicon Valley have joined the Army Reserve but probably won't be putting boots down in Isfahan soon or even in the next two weeks. They were of course invited because of their special technological genius. NYC tycoons are saying "There goes the neighborhood" if Zohran Mamdani moves in.

David Waldman delivers us to the weekend! His weekend, maybe even yours! Greg Dworkin is in and out right on schedule to catch the Knicks Parade and pick up his souvenir trashcan. Fat, evil, and stupid Is no way to go through life, and doesn't win many wars either. Unless we attacked Iran in order to provide them with new infrastructure, missiles, nuclear materials and terrorist support, you even might say that we actually "lost" Donald K. Trump's Iran war. Worst yet for neoconservatives, we might not get to attack Iran again for a little while. As Donald might say, we "pretty much shot our load"… Of course, the quicker we rearm Iran, the sooner we can nuke them. This is definitely not what Bibi Netanyahu ordered. Ben Shapiro blames the mean boys for abusing our poor dotard. On the bright side, Trump has been able to keep Ronald Reagan rolling in his grave for more than a decade now. For either one, war crimes don't seem that bad when their memory only goes back minutes. Trump signing off on his Iran war between dessert courses in Versailles might have made it harder for him to taco on it later, but Donald is always up for a challenge, unless it's challenging. The Palace Guard could have helped Trump get up that flight of stairs. Mexico? Cuba? Canada? Greenland? Intestinal or arterial blockage? What will Trump conquer next? Donald probably misses those days when it was just him and Jeff, some roofies and a checkbook. Tacoing out of Iran will be easy compared to the midterms. MAGAs and Gops are getting tired of each other. Dan Sullivan doesn't want to be associated with Dan Sullivan. Urban voters face voting hurdles that just irritate election reporters. Across the pond, Wallace and Gromit head to their polls to rotate out their latest PM.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin whoop it up for one thing or the other on today's KITM. Winning! The Knicks win and New York couldn't be happier. Losing! Trump's name comes off the Kennedy center. Trump hides his shame under a tarp while the scheming and rigging continue without pause. Winning!? The US declares victory and high tails it before the many Taco Tuesdays to follow. Pete Hegseth occasionally let Iran win so that the victory would be twice as sweet. It's hard to count the number of losers at the UFC thing Sunday. From airline pilots to US service members. As everything, there was only intended to be one winner. Abraham Lincoln suspended Habeas Corpus during the civil war, so why can't Stephen Miller do it to win an argument or two? Maggie Haberman has another house payment, so we get another news flash. Maybe she was just doing her job. I can't believe this is a news story! Extra-fat butter makes your baked potatoes out of this world!

On today's KITM, we bring in David Waldman, who brings in Greg Dworkin, who brings in the latest primary updates and some news summaries, which is perfect, exactly what we needed them to do. There are a bunch of important elections this month, with some big ones yesterday. Going anti-Trump is working out well for Dems, not so much for Gops. Nancy Mace does hate the Trans but was not a true believer in hushing up the Epstein files, so she doesn't even get a participation trophy. Nothing to be too proud of there. Lindsey Graham still had to spend the kind of money some spend on a reflecting pool just to stay in office. On the other hand, Graham Platner ran the gauntlet and came out unscathed even without Kellyanne Conway's approval. Mike Johnson knows that he's never smelled anything like this around Trump. A yearslong effort to woo Trump culminates with the World Cup. Why? Sending Donald cash usually results in a quick turnaround. Donald K. Trump might be getting sick of winning, but he wants to see his arch before he gets too sick. Trump's arch could become taller than the Statue of Liberty, the same way Trump Tower became taller than the World Trade Center.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin recall the weekend and envision the week on today's KITM. Donald K. Trump burned through 11 layers of makeup before doddering off the set of Hee Haw/Meet the Press on Sunday. Facts do anger Trump but will never stop him. Donald makes it about himself. If he can make America's 250th anniversary all about him, why not some basketball game? If the game can't be played, Trump can stand in the center of the court and bask… in whatever they want to bask him in. It doesn't matter as long as he's being basked. Scott Pelley was at CBS supervising the editing of videos to make ICE protesters look like rioters, when Bari Weiss came along and tried to make him cross his ethical line. Brendan Carr can tell you it is the boss who always draws the ethical lines. Often it is the boss who erases the ethical lines. Anywhere the Trump Supreme Court draws a line, at that moment it is exactly where that line should go. If there was a Purcell principle for Secretaries of State, it was just violated in Texas. Meanwhile, Ken Paxton's defense lawyer endorses James Talarico.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin ponder and elucidate the world's mysteries and conundrums on today's KITM, and probably their off hours as well. As polls go, Donald K. Trump is the loserest. While Trump loses, folks prefer Sherrod Brown even more. Not just in comparison to Trump, but to the palooka he's running against, too. Zohran's Mamdanimentum mounts even after election. People now publicly cheer his political ads! It's Zohran vs Donald at Knicks' Game 3 at Madison Square Garden! Momentum always seems to be heading in the opposite direction of Graham Platner, but he presses on. The Trump Supreme Court gives Alabama a chance to use a map already found to be unconstitutional, which wouldn't seem like something SCOTUS would do, until you remember that they aren't SCOTUS anymore. The Gop House voted for a resolution to end the Iran war, which everyone knows that we won through obliteration ages ago, like Viet Nam. Meanwhile, the Senate voted to finally consider funding immigration enforcement agencies, following their decision to pretend that Trump has given up on his Jan 6 slush fund.

It's one of those Wednesdays after one of those Tuesdays. David Waldman would be delighted to have Greg Dworkin haul in his Raft O' Stories™ anytime, but June's Tuesdays are looking to be extra special. In New Jersey, Adam Hamawy won a 12-candidate Democratic primary and might face ex-Independent ex-Libertarian ex-Independent ex-Libertarian Republican Gregg Mele, a perpetual underdog despite his catchy slogan. California is still counting their many votes, but the name to know gubernatorially is Xavier Becerra. The thing to know in Iowa is that Donald K. Trump is a fat loser and will continue to be both for the foreseeable future. Trump is a cartoon villain who is finally beginning to lose in cartoonish ways. Sadly, this villain lives in the real world with us. The guy that Trump has picked to take over the Department of National Intelligence, Bill Pulte, seems to have entered from a darker, yet more funny, unreality, again, unfortunately all too real. Scott Pelley died with his boots on, fighting for the life of 60 Minutes. Will his CBS comrades fight or hide? Meanwhile, the Trump Supreme Court rules from the shadows again, throwing another election, this time to Alabama.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin describe two hours of highlights from the unending parade of stupidity and corruption. Even with all the money coming in from Brawndo and other sponsors, millions in "partner investment" into the UFC Freedom 250 have been unaccounted for. We all know where it's all going, though. The attending audience will represent a cross-section of America's rich and beautiful. Trump got a $620 million deal for his ne'er-do-well sons. He has routed billions to them this year. You got something against a father's love? Donald K. Trump has identified the camel not once, twice, but four successful times in a row, a presidential record that should stand for all time, unlike his name on the Kennedy Center. Trump's drone-proof DronePort might not happen either. Good news! Delinquent credit card balances are 13%! Gas prices are high now, and higher soon! People will be spending money like they have never spent before! Nobody is sicker of winning than farmers, which is why they support… Trump. If MAGA can't afford gas, they'll walk to the polls to vote Trump. Creating a Blue Texas would be as tough as taking Christ out of Christianity, so… pretty doable, actually. In Alaska, all Gop Dan Sullivan has to fear is Dan Sullivan himself.

David Waldman has more crazy to tell us about. Greg Dworkin has discovered more polls to share. We shall reconvene forthwith. 4.5% of the Texas voting population has spoken, electing deplorable Ken Paxton over deplorable wannabee John Cornyn. That' sa lot of deplorables, enough for a Trump win, maybe enough fora Republican loss. At least that's the dream. Today, the good news is that James Talarico has shaken up the race and gave life to the Democratic cause across the state. Texas Gop money will pour into convincing their voters that they are capable of holding their noses tight enough to vote for Paxton. More importantly, with John Cornyn gone, so is the money and clout that he brought to the state as a ranking Senator. Seniority used to be the path to money and clout in government. Those days seem long gone. To commemorate their departure, Donald K. Trump hopes to pass some illegal tender to the geeks and carnies out in the back yard building a stage for the Milli, or Vanilli concert. Nicki Minaj, Kid Rock and Ted Nugent are too big for this gig… oops, Milli Vanilli ends up locating a threshold of embarrassment. Trump has no threshold. Trump threatens to attack Oman, intervened to score another $640 million for Junior, and $13.1 million for his pool boy. He wants to jail his rape victim, E. Jean Carroll.

David Waldman is joined by Greg Dworkin and his Raft O' Stories, Polls, and Election Results™. Yay! Ken Paxton won last night! Any candidate Donald K. Trump wants is pretty much who Democrats want. Fraud and sex abuse are becoming planks in the Republican platform. James Talarico invites John Cornyn supporters to vote for him. Most won't, but some will, and their votes count just as well. It is doubtful that many embarrassed Cornyn voters will be voting for Talarico, but he needs all the help he can get. Dems understand this and are aiming for more unity and a bigger tent this go-round. Some get that more than others. Al Green got it but has gotten it long enough. Mysterious Meddlers paid through Gop channels are placing fake Dems in primaries, including Texan Maureen Galindo, who is a lot more MTG than AOC. South Carolina's Gop gerrymander might be too late. Alabama's might be too racist. Neither Trump nor his Supreme Court gives a damn. Trump isn't fooling anyone. Everyone knows he's full of shit. That might make lying to your face even more satisfying really, because he can. Trump emptied the Board of Peace cookie jar while no one was looking, not that it was unexpected. Why bother putting effort into peace if it doesn't put money in his pockets? You might remember being assigned Roots: The Saga of an American Family, the book and miniseries in school. Well, Tennessee schools are able to assign it again!

It's Memorial Day, a contemplative, ruminative, respectful holiday... He's going to either drop nukes or golf today, isn't he? Maybe both? David Waldman and Greg Dworkin reflect upon the holiday, and wax nostalgic on the days that giants strode the halls of congress. Every day is Donald Trump Day for Donald K. Trump. It's easier for him to remember. Donald Trump days will eventually run out though... eventually. They are at least becoming shorter all the time. Therefore, it makes sense for Trump to concentrate on finishing up his bunker. Trump might be the only one who actually believes that this bunker is the only one that he will have available to him. Memorial Day is definitely not the day Trump would want to contemplate his Iran war. Trump would never have had to wage this war if Barack Hussein Obama hadn't committed so much competency. Speaking of competency, that's the one thing CBS would never allow these days or would never allow if anyone competent worked there anymore.

The "Clavicular of Podmaxxers", David Waldman, is joined by Greg Dworkin today in mogging MAGA, amongst others, on today's KITM. Jeffrey Epstein! That is why this is all happening, but don't knock the grift. There's Donald K. Trump's patriotic Jan 6 slush fund grift, the $1.776 billion Looting of America, marked down from $10 billion Just for you… and because Donald couldn't get the $10 billion. $8 billion off, and it's still corruption like nobody's ever seen, and anyhow, he and his boys have plenty of time to pick up the rest. That is, if the rest of the gang doesn't wuss out on him, or the cops don't stop him. Gops might drop Trump's billion-dollar ballroom grift, at least a billion dollars of it. There are still the drone-proof drone empire, and the Trump Presidential Spider Hole to grift. And, the Arch grift, which is as the Founders would have wanted. There is also the Trump-Bibi-Iran War grift, racking up an extra $40,000,000,000.08 In gas so far. David discovered a bargain with E15 gas, which might not be a great bargain in the long haul, but his car will just learn to toughen up in these tough times. Democrats could be in disarray, but so are Republicans, the good news is that Dems are used to it. 90% of the Colorado Democratic Party voted to reprimand Governor Jared Polis. Voters generically like Democrats but specifically dislike Republicans. Once they get to know Dems, they might like them better. Trump wins more, even as more hate him. Voters would prefer the Democrats they don't know over Trump. RIP, Barney Frank, who would have had fun, and would have been fun in today's politics.

It's Wednesday, and unless you're Louisianan or something weird like that, that means election follow up. And election follow up means Greg Dworkin. And Greg Dworkin means pundits get abbreviated and rounded up. This morning, everyone's attention was diverted to The Slush Fund. Everyone was talking about it. Even the big time pols, who are supposed to be talking about such things, but often seem to take days to do so. Not this time! Even Josh Shapiro is on it. Republicans are on it, too. Some of them are hinting that they'll run away from it (i.e., the elected ones), while others (the trolling operatives) are already claiming they've formally applied for a payoff, as unlikely as that is to be true. By the way, does the name in the story ring a bell? He was supposed to have turned over a new leaf in life, but it turns out it's just the same leaf over and over. But after that, it was that elections thing I previously mentioned. They happened in Kentucky, where Thomas Massie found out (though he surely saw it coming) that keeping your 2024 campaign promises that were also Donald Trump's 2024 campaign promises gets you kicked out by Donald Trump in 2026. They also happened in Georgia, where Republicans also found out that preventing Donald Trump from fulfilling 2020 campaign promises didn't help, either. Georgia also reelected nominally Republican state Supreme Court Justices on the 2026 equivalent of the butterfly ballot. Anyhoo... Trump's backing got lots of crazy nutbars through their primaries, but getting through November is another story. This story, to be precise. And they've got data for that. After all that, pretty soon we'll get to see if it's the same story all over again, but in Texas. And keep in mind, Republicans who lose their jobs during Trump's "retribution tour" are now free to do as they please. (Unless they're threatened with murder or whatever.) But they still have to choose to show up to do it. On the Democratic side of the ledger, Jared Polis is pretty sure that eventually, everyone's gonna see his Tina Peters commutation as rainbows and unicorns. But right now, people see it as... well, there could be a horse involved. I guess. Israeli and American war "planners" may have given the reins over to the other end of the horse as well, when they hatched this scheme to bomb Mahmoud "I'm a Dinner Jacket" Ahmadinejad out of "jail" and into the presidency of Iran. It did not work, possibly on account of the bomb.

They let Trump back into the country, so it's Chaos Time again! Greg Dworkin came armed with the usual roundup. As we mentioned last week, we've moved from Special Election season straight into primary season. And we had one over the weekend. Who has primaries on the weekends? Smart people Weirdos! Like Louisianans! But there's more to come on Tuesday, and they're reading the early vote ballot selection tea leaves. Even when it's just a primary, it means something when the ratio of ballots selected shifts toward Democrats every single time. And Georgians have more than usual at stake in what will be, on Tuesday, a final and determinative general (but "non-partisan") election for their Supreme Court, concurrent with primaries for everything else. All of this takes place in the context of record, floor-shattering lows for Trump's own polling. He's losing ground with his base. He's losing ground with his coalition. He's losing ground on his issues. But there are still enough Republican primary voters to turn things his way in these early contests. Not that that doesn't cost him ground, too. Because yes, small though the number may be, recoverable Republicans are in fact changing their minds. The combination–mathematically–has got to be enough. So, about that weekend Chaos I mentioned: Jared Polis has done the dumb thing, and though defenses are being offered, it remains dumb. Also generally chaotic: we may soon be adding motor oil shortages to skyrocketing gas prices. And Kash Patel turns out to have probably literally pissed on the graves of our Pearl Harbor dead, thus proving that there is no bridge too far. Further proof: Trump is ordering the Treasury to fill a sack with taxpayer money and hand it over to him. And though that's pretty chaotic, it is actually OK, because he is demanding a patriotic number of dollars. U-S-A! We also caught up on some pre-weekend Chaos. First, the slow-leaking of Trump's humiliation in China, where he accomplished nothing. Second, more public lands shenanigans. By which I mean the ultra-wealthy grabbing still more public things from out of your hands, in order–mostly–to not even really put them in their own, private hands. They just own them in case they remember at some point that they actually have them, and might like to use them. (or not!) Instead of you.

David Waldman is fighting a cold while fighting the good fight, hell, you got something to fight, he'll fight it. No beef with Greg Dworkin though. That guy is cool. Donald K. Trump is in 'GINA with his most trusted advisors: money. Listening to Xi Jinping talking Thucydides makes a much more restful naptime than listening to Lil' Marco LuLu Rubio. The Trump Iranian war rages because Fetterman is more MAGA than Murkowski. Meanwhile, Ukraine and Denmark make winning wars more accessible for the budget conscious. Generic Democrats are breaking away from generic Republicans in generic ballots, which is great news, as many Democrats are pretty generic. Listen, if people want someone who believes in causes that they will fight for, Hareem Jeffries will look into that, sure. The Trump Counterterrorism Strategy makes protesters Antifa and Antifa terrorists, while LGBT and Q are qualified from birth.

David Waldman welcomes back Greg Dworkin for all the laughs and links: Samuel Alito cited "fudged data", some say "lied", in order to gut voting rights, as if Trump's Supreme Court needed to lie to gut voting rights. Tennessee won't stop with eliminating voting rights for blacks, any rights will do. Now they did it! Dems are angry now, just watch them do… something! Voters are voting Democratic because there is no way it could be worse. In fact, in Nebraska, they voted Dem Cindy Burbank in (over the fake Dem William Forbes) because she promised to drop out to strengthen the Independent candidate Dan Osborn against the Republican Pete Ricketts. In Connecticut, they are voting out the 14-term incumbent, John B. Larson, to put in the "do something" candidate, Luke Bronin. The Donald K. Trump Iran war continues. The only thing Trump hates more than Iranians are Americans. He doesn't hate Iran that much. After all, he destroyed more US missiles than Iranian ones. Does Donald hate the press or women more? Trump is in China on behalf of world peace and has been so busy with plans to cut the world into pieces that he didn't talk to the press for the 20-hour trip over there. There will be plenty of CEOs to talk with, so Xi Jinping might just let Trum nap. Chinese Communist spy and former Arcadia Mayor Eileen Wang probably could have used a ride back to China, after she pled guilty to acting as an illegal foreign agent.

David Waldman is still travelling through California and he's feeling swell! And so can you by visiting our sponsor of sorts, FEELING SWELL! Greg Dworkin returns! He has a Raft O' Stories™ too! (With minimal X-crap) Donald K. Trump is disliked. He is disapproved. He's taking down his Gops heading into the midterms. Trump's approval has hit a record low among his core voters. Just ask them, they'll tell you… before they vote JD Vance in '28. Don't you wish all politics could be just local again? There goes the Voting Rights Act. There go voting rights. Why is there so much confusion about the White House Correspondents Association shooter? Yep, you guessed it. Republicans held it together just long enough to end the DHS shutdown.

Dyngus Day! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin float in with another Raft O' Stories™, swept on the Eastertide. The Trump World War is now entering its third 2 weeks of total triumph. Bombing Iran to the stone age isn't mogging Iran quite enough, however, and Trump has mushroom cloud dreams.  In fact, yesterday Donald renamed the Hormuz Strait the "Fuckin'" Strait and made an Easter day conversion to Islam in preparation for his final day of judgment. Marjorie Taylor Greene knows from crazy, and she's seeing some crazy. Strait traffic is picking up as more countries have been convinced to line up at the toll booths. This might slow but won't stop the biggest oil crisis in history from hitting us all. Pete Hicseth is in the process of culling all officers determined not crusade-ready.  Not everyone is suited to be a holy warrior, sometimes even white guys have to be eliminated. The Justice Department says that Trump doesn't need to hand over his presidential records after he's finished destroying the world. Democrats are winning over the left and "double haters" to claim their future share of the debris. U.S. Marshals waived training rules for Elon Musk's armed DOGE security. Mark Zuckerberg offered to censor Meta users to help DOGE out. Kristi Noem's husband, Bryon Noem, has been reported to have lived a "secret double life" which involves the wearing his not so secret "double D's". Kristi, Bryon, and Corey have been reported to live a secret triple life that rhymes with "fuckin'".

No fooling, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back today! Donald K. Trump has spent a month assembling the biggest, strongest April Fools' joke in history, and will deliver the punchline tonight. Trump is done with Iran and escalating the war and is and is not in talks and has 67,000 US Troops aiming at Kharg and yelling "Hey everybody! We're all gonna get laid!" The base loves that joke… a little less than they used to. Lindsey Graham wants the US out of Spain and is vexed about NATO yet was forever blowing bubbles in the happiest place on earth. Lindsey was having fun and that's what counts... So, Kristi Noem's husband enjoyed bimbofying, and perhaps sitting behind his wife as she was confronted on an internationally renowned affair charge? That might seem a little "cuc…", uhm "yucky" to some, but to each their own!  Don't hate Gregg Phillips because he teleports, hate the flying saucer demons. When you only govern for your base, bad things happen, especially to your polls. Everybody hates Trump. That does not mean that MAGA will vote Dem. Empathy has become so cringe, but it might be time for an earnestness comeback. In a battle of exclamation points, a federal judge halted construction of the golden Escher shack Trump was placing upon his super-secret underground war room. Now it's time to erect the Trump Tower memorial Tower! In the Supreme Court today, justices argue on how to tell Trump "no" to creating an American caste system. The only thing more difficult is trying to describe legal procedure to the hoi polloi and trolls. Karoline Leavitt demands that the ugly picture of her be removed from the internet before Trump sees it… Oh, too late!  Trump is suing himself for $10 billion and they have a good chance of winning. The Jan 6 mob want a piece of whatever's being handed out. The US Army did a ride-by of Kid Rock's house. Good thing that they have such an understanding boss. TSA workers are getting paychecks now, so really who needs Congress?

Is the news really getting dumber and more chaotic every day? There's only one way (that I'm willing) to find out! And that's by re-running our March 31, 2025 episode today. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are were, at the time, back for yet another week of KITM! How do they do it, what is their secret? No one knows! We begin the week with the White House embroiled in scandal. Which scandal? All of them! There's SignalGate, the main culprit of which has been finally determined to be JD Vance, or the news media, or an unspecified Democrat yet to be announced. JD Vance is also guilty of blowing the art of the deal in Greenland. Like Canada, Greenland has a lot to offer in both material and strategic benefits. Just think of the partnerships, alliances, and investments Trump could have potentially made if his first negotiation tactic was ever something other than a pussygrab?  Countries who turned away their pussygrabs get tariffs this Wednesday, or at least more threats of more tariffs. Nothing makes Trump angrier than someone stealing his pickup technique. Don't knock it, the Trump pussygrab has been a success with most of the media, several law firms, and an undisclosed number of SCOTUS. Following many, yet not enough, injunctions from lower-court judges, the Supreme Court has six pending emergency applications from Trump demanding to know "So like…What are we?"   Gops warned Victoria Spartz not to have town halls, but she didn't listen, and conducted a town hall in which she wouldn't listen. For Victoria, if you have to ask for due process, you must not deserve it. Think those masked guys heading your way wouldn't put a bag over your head? Surprise! Democrats will fix this all soon… we just need to get a little bit closer to their mid-term election fundraising drives, ok, please? In contrast, Donald K. Trump is already getting set for his 2028 election, and beyond. Wait a second, doesn't the Constitution prohibit that sort of thing? Where we're going, we don't need Constitutions. France on the other hand, takes these things seriously, but their guillotine must have been on the fritz because Marine Le Pen only received 5 years off from seeking office.

History was made this weekend, and David Waldman WAS THERE!  He might have also been at the third No Kings protest... hard to tell as there were a lot of people at them. Greg Dworkin monitored those, and many other situations over the weekend. Trump's Iran War is going well, for the doomsday bunker industry, missile R&D facilities, military aircraft body shops, and boot manufacturers. Most everyone else, however, not so much. Donald K. Trump promises to strongly win the war again and change the regimes several more times until Iran finally agrees to lose the war. Iran is set to release more reality TV episodes of its popular Kash Patel Show. Vlad Putin doesn't mind Trump in Iran but had Donald step aside in Cuba. Eh, Trump didn't really mean all that Cuba regime change nonsense anyhow. He'd rather negotiate Sharpie prices to $5 with big strong men with tears in their eyes. Those pens will come in handy when the new dollar bills come out. Sure, the White House Ballroom is an ill thought out, poorly designed disaster, Trump is in charge of it. The important part is the super-secret facility beneath the $400 million facade of a ballroom. How predictive are special elections? What if we take into consideration Democrats' generic ballot underperformance, and the GOP's midterm convention? What if we take into consideration this reality? The Russian accused of being the mastermind behind the Magnitsky Case (a mind-bogging, multi-million-dollar tax-and-fraud case that led to the death of Sergei Magnitsky in a Moscow prison, and a sweeping US sanction law) will be on trial in Paris this week (in absentia). The DHS shutdown has been a month and a half, so now Trump has decided that it's an emergency and will pay TSA workers. That, like absolutely everything Trump does, is illegal only if anyone cares to make it so. How many ICE detainees died recently? I don't know, I don't follow sports.

Feeling Thor today? David Waldman and Greg Dworkin apply the balm of their KITM wit and wisdom. Every morning, Donald K. Trump is shown a two-minute video of Iranian things blowing up, which could explain why Trump believes that the US has totally won, or that Iran is totally obliterated each day… or he could just be pulling it out his ass. Is Trump an idiot? Crazy? Full of crap? Gops sane-wash Trump by saying whatever Trump says is true because he says it. Dems insane-wash Trump by feeling there must be some kernel of truth buried in all that gibberish. Why can't we just place Trump on a curve with "deranged" on one end and "lying" on the other and simply skip the third axis? Have you ever heard the story of the paper clip? Well, actually, the paper clip was invented 134 years ago, not 182 as Trump… Now I'm doing it! To be on the safe side, Mike Johnson arranged for Trump to be given periodic trophies. Pete Hicseth is a true believer, unfortunately for him, his boss never was. It looks like DC will need to Uber their Easter Bunny in this year as the Department of Homeland Security shutdown talks go nowhere. Sending ICE to airports isn't working for anything other than to provide their mugshots for databases, too bad the 82nd Airborne is busy. The Republican collapse has begun — and Trump is leading it. Trump's disapproval numbers are high, like no one has seen before. His approval numbers on the other hand are dying, like a dog. Among white non-college men, Trump is not so high value anymore. Here comes another election, in Maine, and it's looking good for the oyster farmer. Republicans take Democrats violating ethic rules almost as bad as Democrats do. Republicans hate Democratic gerrymandering as almost as much as they hate their own… nah, they don't mind theirs at all.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin share their latest Raft O' Stories in a valiant effort to calm us TF down. World War Trump rages on… and TACOs… and rages and TACOs… You can pretty much set your watch by it. Donald K. Trump steadfastly maintains his principle of "What's in it for Trump?" but has yet to realize that retreat is his only path forward. Gerald R Ford heads for the exit. Japan pulls up to the toll gate and is waved through. Trump loses Oath Keepers founder Stewart Rhodes support and with him possibly the entire eyepatched villain voting bloc. Speaking of retreat, Dems have Gops on their heels with DHS funding. Reconciliation worked for Republicans that time, so can't it work every time? The Senate will be voting on cloture on a motion to suspend rule XXV to make in order a motion to refer the House message on the legislative vehicle for the SAVE America Act to the Rules and Administration Committee with instructions to consider legislation funding TSA, and if you think that's tough for you to understand, imagine how tough it is for Senator John Kennedy, who has enough to worry about with those commies at the Blooski. It usually takes a while and a couple of deaths to get Trump's attention, and unfortunately that's what happened with the DHS and the TSA. Just as Elon Musk was about to pretend to go for his wallet, here comes ICE to the rescue! Donald and Melania pal Paolo Zampolli wanted his and Jeffrey's ex, Amanda Ungaro deported, allegedly.   Trump breaking the economy and blowing billions on a war does not feel like a well thought out strategy heading into the midterms, but at least MAGA still loves him. That might not seem like enough to win an election, but who was talking about "win"? Joe Kent quit because he'd rather crusade against Jews. Trump doesn't see much wrong with that but is offended that Kent has remarried.  Other top-of-the-line professionals surrounding Trump include Richard Grenell, who had no arts administration experience prior to his Kennedy Center appointment and somehow now has even less. Dick should contact Gregg Phillips, head of FEMA's Office of Response and Recovery and teleport far away.

Once again, David Waldman attempts to cram it all into two hours, and mostly succeeds. Greg Dworkin knows a worse place than the Persian Gulf, and he keeps going there for links. Out in the Gulf, the Kushner Wars rage on. Israel hit the South Pars gas field, Iran aimed at the Saudi port of Yanbu, and Donald K. Trump will blow them all up if they don't learn to play together. You know that Trump approved of Israel's attack, and so does Dan Shapiro, who frankly knows more than you and me. The Middle East heads into an all-out energy war, while the US FAFOs that fighting cheap drones can get pretty expensive. Denmark breathes a sigh of relief as their decapitation strike is postponed by several months. Oil goes way up. Gasoline goes way up. Health care, education, etc. goes way up. The national debt goes way up. Job creation is zero.  All of this could motivate voters in the midterms. Dems could fix things, if Trump lets them, and MAGA lets Trump, and November is just so far away. Markwayne Gacy Mullin is a clown. Mullin has pretended to be more things than Kristi Noem. Never has war smelled so fishy than when Markwayne recollects it. Markwayne is also a very angry clown. Unfortunately, every Congress has that one Democrat, and this one gets John Fetterman. Oh no! Say it isn't so! Cesar Chavez has been alleged to be a sex abuser and rapist as well as a civil rights icon. Panicky Dems across the nation embrace this new panic, while MAGA wonders if maybe they should install a statue to him now. Who says government moves slow? Joe Kent receives an FBI investigation within a business week from resignation.