Podcast appearances and mentions of greg dworkin

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin voice the patriotic, uplifting, free thinking that this nation needs and deserves. Accept no substitutes! You know Tyler Robinson. Tyler can check that box off, although you, and humanity in general seem to be an abstract concept to him.  What outsiders don't get is that Tyler loaded his rifle with skibidi bullets to join the Pepe elite in brain rot Valhalla… And, to show the sort of love that only he and Mark David Chapman can truly understand. Utah Governor Spencer Cox hoped this wasn't about him. None of us do. Plenty of others where Tyler came from. Some people think of Charlie Kirk as an inspirational, encouraging speaker. Some people see him as a speaker who inspired and encouraged violence and hatred. Charlie demonstrated how one could be both. Plenty of others where Charlie came from.  No one can say a bad word about Kirk. Not if they want to keep their job… or life. Kari Lake has noticed that school shootings keep occurring at schools. MAGA knows that no true MAGA would ever commit a violent act, and anyone who says so won't see tomorrow. MAGA was too lefty for Charlie, and Charlie was too lefty for Groypers.  That makes Donald K. Trump the FDR of our time, except from the shoulders up rather than the hips down. There also are a lot of things that Trump fears more than fear itself. For instance, Trump is hiding from Chicago down in Memphis, while ICE attempts to sucker punch the wind out of the Windy City. South Korea has Trump filling his pants as if they designed the assembly line. Everybody seems more scared of Trump than Brazil was of Bolsonaro. Kathy Hochul endorses Zohran Mamdani. It's about time, and it is the time.

Ever wake with a start and wonder what David Waldman thinks about a subject? How about Greg Dworkin? Rest easy, they're both here today! Booooooooo! Donald K. Trump hiked, or maybe was carried on a litter, to a quite local restaurant in order to win a food-related dare from a reporter. (He'd eat anything if you dared him to.)  You'd be amazed at what some people will do if you are their source of food. Hey! WHERE the WHITE women AT? Always on the lookout, Donald located one in Charlotte, North Carolina, which is lucky (for him) as surprisingly, white women are worth 6 times more than a black woman! Nonetheless, non-whites and Democrats sure add up if you can keep scoring. Speaking of two weeks, that is when you can expect the Epstein files, as Dems keep racking up their scores and Trump suuuuuuucks. Until then, Trump's art of the birthday card will carry us through. Jim Jordan doesn't buy it. Jim knows that Trump was running for president in… 2009… that's about 10 years since Jim began crying like a dog and begging people to keep him out of jail. A Federal judge blocks Trump from the firing of Fed's Lisa Cook, for now. There's only so many rush orders that the Trump Supremes can handle. The Zohran Mamdanimentum continues to roll along. Turns out that Jewish New Yorkers are not anti-Semitic.  Congrats to Oliver North on his marriage to Fawn Hall... no that's not her… not her either, nope… There she is! Ah, that might be why Donald wants to get back to the seventies.

David Waldman catches us up on the multiple disasters since Friday. Greg Dworkin catches us up on the multiple disasters since Thursday. Boooo! Trump was booooooooed at the US Open. If they don't want to hear boos, they shouldn't invite Trump. Or Winsome Earle-Sears. Tiny hands, deep throat, Donald K. Trump was an FBI Snitch according to Mike Johnson, the last guy anyone would trust to keep a secret. The Miami Herald and New York Times seek to unseal records on Jeffrey Epstein's estate, while we all know that Jeffrey Epstein and everyone on the Epstein list has been brought to you by capitalism.  Zohran Mamdanimentum continues as Americans are beginning to see capitalism about as badly as they do Trump. LG Energy specialists squeezed into 90+ day rotations to set up a Hyundai battery plant in Georgia were caught in violation of that “+” part, were belly-chained and hauled out of the country. The plant they were setting up won't be hiring Americans any time soon, thanks to Karen-Republican Mar-a-Lago wannabe Tori Branum. Don't expect to hear more from Branum but do expect a lot more plants to be shut down. The Department of War begins its Midway Blitz, which is not a war, it is simply a police action. Why do so many Republicans think Trump is more liberal than he is? If people die in Florida because of lack of vaccines, it will be a surprise to Florida Surgeon General Ladapo. RFK Jr. will have seen it all coming, as he always does a year or so later. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists will save lives in the future by ignoring the CDC today. Ironically, the owner of one of the most punchable faces in politics, Scott Bessent, keeps wanting to punch others in their faces. This time it was the quite punchable Bill Pulte and for the same reason as Scott picked ever punchable Elon Musk. Scott heard both were bad mouthing him to Donald. Scott almost took Bill out, back there on the cement slab they have over the White House septic tank. E. Jean Carroll won her judgement against Trump again.

David Waldman calls 'em like he sees 'em. Greg Dworkin calls 'em like they was. But they ain't nothin' till KITM calls 'em. Roll call! Thomas Massie is joined by empathetic Democrats and a few traumatized Republicans in a discharge petition to force a floor vote on his “Epstein Files Transparency Act.” Nancy Mace was so shaken that she almost forgot who her daddy was. Epstein survivors float release of an unofficial client list, but with all this talk of Epstein victims, will anyone remember the Epstein victors? RFK Jr. tried to sell Senators his snake oil but found few takers. Florida Surgeon General Joseph Ladapo earned his Black Florida Republican bonafides, urging Floridians to earn their PhDs in virology before it's too late. The West Coast Health Alliance will ally to maintain west coast health. Putin, Xi and Kim aren't waiting around and are planting their organ orchards today. Harvard wins! Trump's freeze on research funds was declared unconstitutional. Where did you get the idea that they've been losing all this time? Probably from the same place that led you to believe this was all about antisemitism, when the DOJ's lawyer is a Nazi-stan?  Trump is making the losers taking votes from Andrew Cuomo into winners in the hopes of stemming the irrepressible Zohran Mamdanimentum. NASA's problem has never been a lack of brilliant people; it is their lack of hardball lobbyists. Job cuts are the worst since the pandemic, and you wonder why Trump is blowing up boats?

Hey, it's Labor Day, and you know what that means! Well, it might mean that Trump is dead, but probably not. It does, however, mean that you're getting less Greg Dworkin today. Also, less me! But because we're bringing you our September 3, 2024 episode to keep you company for the holiday, and because September 3, 2024 was a Tuesday, you'll get to hear good ol' Joan McCarter's voice again! If you're wondering why I started the summary so oddly, well, you'll get it once you see how the summary for the original show went. You see, it started like this... Hey, it's the day after Labor Day, and you know what that means! For one, it means that it's Tuesday, which means that not only is David Waldman back live, but so is Joan McCarter! Also, it's the day that millions across the nation awake in the morning, crawl out of their burrows, see their shadows, and realize the need to figure out who they will vote for. Kamala Harris and Tim Walz have already risen to the challenge, while Donald Trump and JD Vance extended their weekend. By the way, Snopes states that no one has yet verified that the specimen jars carried by Trump supporters contained “fake” JD Vance semen… I guess they need local couch cushions for a match? That awkwardly segues us into Trump's promise to make government socialistically provide IVF treatments for gay couples and single cat ladies. Good for him! Although Donald might not have considered how his stance might affect IUI families, and the sensibilities of his Vice President, or even his previous Vice President. Meanwhile, the Harris-Walz team heads to Florida with a clearer stance. September also is the beginning of Congress's legislative sprint, although there really wasn't anything keeping them from starting earlier. House Gops now have only a few weeks left to impeach Joe Biden.  If you had time set aside to head to Bedminster to attend the gala in honor of January 6th rioters, or have your photo taken giving a thumbs up standing on Donald Trump's freshly dug grave, you will be disappointed as both events have been again postponed. Public school teachers, already overworked and underpaid, are now expected to perform surprise sex change operations on their students.    

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin regroup here at the top of the week and help work out our next move. Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce got engaged on my birthday, thus making that date easier for everyone to remember. Pseudo-president Trump is crypto-president from now on. In happy news for crackers, the cracker barrel returns to Cracker Barrel. Could a one-week feint towards a clipart logo be a publicity stunt to replace their dying customer base with MAGA hardcore? If so, expect Red Lobster's rebrand as “Red State”. Cops: DC is really cleaning up the town as the interdepartmental queue forms behind each potential jaywalking bust. Anyhow, it's all the arresting that counts, not the crime. Maybe a nice train station to play with will keep them busy. OK, Doomer. ICEISIS may feel like it's around every corner (because that's the intent) but that doesn't mean that you have to give up. Democrats lead the U.S. House generic by 8 points, and in real-life very-red Iowa, Catelin Drey won by 11, in a district Trump carried by 11. It happened there, and it should be happening everywhere. The US might be involved with attempting to destabilize a sovereign democracy! Shocking, right? Greenland might be asking for it, but that doesn't mean it's giving Donald consent to grab it by the windfarms. European postal services are holding your mail. You'll need to stop by and pick it up. Delulu DOGE dropped skibidi Social Security numbers… AnD fanum tax bro! Kilmar Abrego Garcia has a decision to make. Either Trump's penis is tiny, and Kilmar goes to Uganda, or it is not tiny, and he goes to Costa Rica. All of the federal judges in Maryland avoid rendering a verdict on Trump's tiny penis… for now.

David Waldman is older than he used to be! By an entire year somehow! Congratulations! Also… Armando!  Greg Dworkin is completely different of course, and so is his Raft O' Stories™, although they could all be a distraction from the real story. The Zohran Mamdanimentum keeps growing, because it's fun and Zohran is having fun and New Yorkers are a fun-loving bunch. Similarly, Gavin Newsomentum is building, even though there are Dems out there whose anxiety builds when they see too much fun going on and would like to remind you here in August 2025 that you don't “have to” vote for Gavin in November 2028 if you don't want to. Expect Trump to drop the word “CUCK” into his posts soon in order to get ahead of Newsom comparisons. Or Trump could just have Gavin arrested. Time for some legal problems for Chris Christie. Time for some legal problems for every federal judge in Maryland. Gorsuch and Kavanaugh note that none of these people are either of them. Kilmar Abrego Garcia could inspire this administration to reinstitute crucifixion. Let's pour one out for two Fulton County Dems, Dana Barrett and Mo Ivory, protectors of democracy and presently unincarcerated. Trump will obviously send troops into Chicago. Not because he needs to, but because he wants to. Cheating is so fun that it might not matter if it actually works. Soon we will all have something to cry about. US consumers with prime credit are starting to fall behind in their payments. Millions are being pushed off of Medicaid and Obamacare, no matter what they are being told now. And COVID isn't going away, but the vaccine is. Years of effort have finally paid off. Nancy Mace has finally worn out her welcome.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring us the latest in news and opinion. By the way… Jeffrey Epstein! At least James Dobson is dead. Gavin C. Newsom (Gorgeous) has been hand selected (Some say RIGGED) by God to return AMERICA's democracy and Democracy to the “USA”. Of course, in 2028, Gavin's policy stands and personal aptitude for the presidency will be of utmost… Hello? You do remember 2015, right?  As do the people behind the Gavin Newsom Press Office, Camile Zapata and Izzy Gardon. That's the long game. The short game sees the majority of Democrats backing California's counter-gerrymandering of Texas as a good thing. California's Supreme Court is stepping out of the way. So, what is Donald K. Trump really up to in Washington? Nothing, as usual, and no good, as usual. Who to better represent Trump than the three most hated stooges in American history, Stephen Miller, Pete Hegseth and JD Vance? DC's criminals better watch out, the new gang means business. Elise Stefanik knows that she's hated by most of her constituents, Democrat and Republican, but she will never rest until she earns the antipathy of each person in her district. The Freedom Caucus is heading into various sunsets in the next couple of years. Fannie Mae chair Bill Pulte is weaponizing Palantir-DOGE hacked Fannie Mae computers against any Democrat with two houses. (probably) Walmart is now offering a high price guarantee, while jobs slowly head for the cliff.  No one does not see the crash coming. Trump wants the Fed to let him squeeze out the last bit before it all ends. No matter how you slice it, Mamdanimentum rolls through NYC. Next week: Jeffrey Epstein!

David Waldman returns to Wednesday and finds Greg Dworkin there waiting for him. Greg knows Pi to five decimal places, so why don't we elect him? Not enough people like Democrats, but enough do for them to beat Republicans. Donald K. Trump is helping pull down Gops in every way imaginable, in almost every place imaginable. Frank Serpico hopes to see a Zohran Mandani movie someday. The Mamdanimentum seems unstoppable. Elise Stefanik seems stoppable.  Trump's no angel… yet... but the mainstream media would rather we all went to hell. Trump estimates that the US is the only country that uses mail-in voting. He figures that if his buddy Bibi is a war hero, he must be too.  Of course, his buddy Vlad is a war criminal…  If the National Guard can open carry in DC, Jeanine Pirro will allow regular citizens to carry shotguns and rifles as long as they carry them patriotically. A police officer in Maine could tell that he's not Jeanine's type. ICE denied a parking spot cooled off by kicking some Latinos. Dan Bongino is assigned a babysitter, while it takes a village for Pete Hegseth.

As today's KITM plays in a box in the corner of the screen, David Waldman watches and comments. This, in turn, plays in the corner of the screen that Greg Dworkin watches and comments upon, and they are in the corner of the screen that I watch and comment upon. Here's where you come in. Greg dredges up another Raft O' Stories™ out of the x-sewers. Good news! Through the alchemy of Blue Sky, I have magically changed each of those posts into gold. More good news! Donald K. Trump did not sell Alaska to Vlad! Well, he might have given it away to him, or just left the deed somewhere, but the whole point of this yak-fest was a strategy session to take on the leader of the free world and fashion king, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky. Their strategy seems to be bringing JD “Just Dance” Vance as his “muscle”. At this moment Trump is selling Zelensky on switching Ukraine to high-flush toilets. Meanwhile, members of ICE ISIS roam the streets of our capitol, pretty much finding criminals around every corner. Restaurants only wish they could find some of those liberated customers, who, along with students, are now sheltering-in-place. The US might still look like a good place to, say, Gazans, but not if Laura Loomer has anything to say about it. Pity Kristi Noem! Now she can't take off work early to lay that married sexual assaulter Corey Lewandowski in her free house confiscated from a political enemy without everybody being up in her business. Department of Justice Special Attorney Ed Martin personifies the weaponization of Federal government by dressing as McGruff the Crime Dog and lurking outside the home of New York Attorney General Letitia James. MS NOW! You got to hope Gloria Steinem sues. Rogan just figured out what everyone else knew about.. anything, really. Does this mean that the national pendulum is swinging back to smart from dumb? Probably not, but more of them could be voting Democratic.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are together again, one more time until we're all seeing Russia from our house. Donald K. Trump always wants a crisis, which is the only manufacturing job booming in the US, thanks to pansies like Tim Burchett, hiding in his DC office because his Tennessee office would be too dadgum dangerous, brother.  Spirit Halloween costume come to life, Markwayne Mullin, needs to really hydrate to pee his pants so constantly. (Speaking of shitty neighborhoods, get out of ExTwitter, and follow the Editorial Board on Blue Sky. They have the exact same posts, but they smell better.) Remember kids, when throwing a sandwich has the same penalty as throwing a brick, don't waste your food! Trump's choice to run the Bureau of Labor Statistics might look like he ties women to railroad tracks, but the White House swears he wasn't a January 6th terrorist… not that there's anything wrong with that. But, now we're WINNING! At this moment. Famine or feast now might be irrelevant at election. Short-term thinking is destroying America and playing into Trump's tiny hands, according to these headlines, I mean, tldr! Trump would not have to be a dictator if you'd just do what you're told. Maybe he'll run for re-election in 2026 if he's feeling cute. Some Gops want to wait for a little more totalitarianism before they redistrict. Dems would redistrict, but feel uncomfortable winning that much. What do the polls say? Whatever you want them to… mostly what Trump wants them to. (Ron Brownstein would be on Blue Sky, but you playin'.) Whoever wins Civil War II, moderates should be the first ones up against the wall.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin take us over the wacko Wednesday hump. Winning! That will be the only conclusion you'll ever be able to draw about the US, from any US source from now on. Everything that the government says henceforth will be consistently useless for every citizen. Stats, science, history, and art will first pass through Donald K. Trump, and those who don't come back for seconds will regret it. (Speaking of crap, don't go to that site. Ron Brownstein, Bruce Bartlett, and of course, Justin Wolfers are on Blue Sky. Heck, you can watch Justin Wolfers on MSNBC, on somebody else's TV, on bsky.app!  Trump wants to know students' race to make certain that the wrong ones don't get extra. The NIH will pivot away from mRNA vaccines, not because they don't work, but because of vibes. Their vibes. CDC projects and careers are shot down as bullets come through their windows. Skateboarders beware! A military presence in Washington DC won't stop murders, car jackings or arson on any block where they aren't standing, and the bubble boys will still be afraid to come out, but DC did vote for Kamala, therefore a bronze likeness of Big Balls will need to be placed at the base of the Washington Monument. Political polls (BTW, follow Political Polls on Blue Sky) indicate some good things upcoming for Dems. Latinos still surviving in the United States are beginning to sour on the Gop. WARs and WARPs are the MVPs. Mamdanimentum is being fueled by Cuomo and Trump, as a list of their scandals can fill a dozen ads. Forget The Apprentice. Ghislaine Maxwell is the reigning champion on The Price is Right, and it's looking good for the Showcase Showdown. Russia, Russia, Russia! Usha Vance may not hate JD now, but why wait on the divorce? Marjorie Taylor Greene makes more than 30 times what she did when she was first elected. How? Go to hell! Maybe her buddy Laura Loomer can take her there.

It's Thursday! That means Greg Dworkin is on his way out the door for the weekend! That's OK. Congress is gone all month. Which might be why Democrats in that body aren't doing what the latest “centrist” pundit says they ought to be doing… which is, of course, praising Trump. But under no circumstances must you hand it to Trump! The “idea,” we gather, stems from the Old School Media Playbook, which instructs that if a president says it and then it happens, it's a “win.” Even if it's an obvious disaster. But this particular “idea” also rests on multiple false assumptions. Like that Democrats have no electoral support. (They do.) Or that Trump is popular. (He's not.) Or that his “policies” are wise and well-considered. (They're not.) Or that members of his party benefit politically from his leadership. (They don't.) Nope. He's the same guy he's always been. Plotting a coverup of his sex scandals. Firing people who won't do his dirty work, or lie for his benefit. You know, the usual. Meanwhile, in Gotham… where Eric Adams is already corrupted by Trump, Andrew Cuomo seeks Trump's counsel. And adds one of the least-respected consultants in the country to his team of duds, which is sure to make things worse. But he might not even be the dumbest Cuomo of the day! On the Jeffrey Epstein front: Jeffrey Epstein, Jeffrey Epstein, Jeffrey Epstein! Is there anything that can make this worse? Sure! Woody Allen! While we're on the topic of public pervos, there's still more (mysteriously less-than-disastrous) news about MAGA trainwreck Cory Mills. Why is this news less than disastrous, anyway? IOKIYAR, as the olds used to say, when they were young.

If we have to keep talking about Jeffrey Epstein, then at least let us hear more Tom Lehrer! Well, with Greg Dworkin on hand to round up the day's news, that's never a problem! Unless you're Donald Trump, that is. Because people think that guy sucks! Though it may just be worse given his bad timing. Of course, it could also be, you know, his “policies.” Or his policy of firing people who report statistics indicating that his policies suck. Or pulling out all the stops to rig the system, all while crying loudly that it's rigged against him. Or just maybe, the leopards he keeps sending to eat his voters' faces. Or maybe lots of Republicans are going to “get Flooded” when the time comes, whomever or wherever they may be. Given how bad the landscape is for Trump and his Republicans, why would any Democrat or independent ever fall into the trap of praising him? Something happened to “Big Balls.” We're just not sure exactly what. But we know it's being used as an excuse for yet another moment of Trump extremism. But don't let the extremism distract you from the revisionism! Whether at home or abroad. Really, you can't miss either the revisionism or the egotism. Soon enough, it'll be on display before the entire world. Know who else used the same play? Federal judges are getting fed up, though. And they won't play. Learn about the “presumption of regularity,” how Trump killed it, and what happens when it's gone.

It's Monday! That means Greg Dworkin was here. And it means there was a weekend catch-up marathon on Trump's “volatile side,” via the Abbreviated Pundit Roundup, and another installment in our more-popular-than-the-actual-hosts Tom Lehrer retrospective. Texas Republicans are redistricting. Yes, again! Or at least trying to. Dems are absenting themselves in order to deny them a quorum. Yes, again! Greg Abbott, meanwhile, says he's trying to absent them from office. Trump's stupid “policies” are starting to make the economy suck, and everybody knows it. So, you have to fire the knowers, or at least the tellers, starting from the top. Just like successful countries like Argentina do. Will that be enough to help MAGA forget about having their faces eaten by leopards? Perhaps, one day, their children will forget. If they ever have any. Everybody's been talking about this blockbuster dissection of a Dem fundraising black hole operation. And everybody's angry! But you may be pleased to know there's a plan to make fundraising black holes angry, too. You thought Greg wasn't going to say anything about the NYC mayoral race? Duh! They just polled the local space laser enthusiasts, to see what they're thinking. You thought Greg wasn't going to say anything about Epstein? Duh! Well, actually he didn't. But he meant to! Trump's hoping a different shiny object will distract people. Only this one's about Obama, and not everyone thinks that's so shiny, anymore. But dumbasses do! We'll never run out of dumbasses! Not while one of ‘em is president, anyway! (Remember when I said he was probably choosing Oval Office portraits for the frames, with no idea who was in the paintings? Well, yeah!)

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin continue our KITM-wide tribute to Tom Lehrer, who, amongst his many attributes, is copyright free. Leher wasn't the only political satirist capable of rhyming “Epstein” with “tiny peen”, but definitely one of the best. Heard any good Jeffrey Epstein news lately? Most Americans want to release the Epstein files. Most Americans think the Epstein files contain "embarrassing" info about Trump. Most Americans believe that Trump was involved in Epstein's crimes. That includes quite a few MAGA-Americans, Moron-Americans, and even a few Moron-MAGA-Americans.  The best thing about Jeffrey Epstein news is that there's so much Jeffrey Epstein news left to report. The DOJ faces a subpoena over the Epstein files by the House Oversight Committee, it's just that James Comer is in no hurry to sign it.  I can't afford a Washington Post subscription. Jeff Bezos could make the Washington Post free to subscribers. In fact, Jeff could afford to make the entire Washington Post free if he wanted to and just sail away from it all, no problem. Trump TACOs on Mexico. Bullshits on Japan. Scams his own voters with Europe. Laura Loomer will win back Donald's love by throwing shade at everyone else. Even West Point is too woke for Laura. 

HEY YOU GUYS! On KITM today, David Waldman spins the hits and reports the latest local and national Epstein news, with traffic and tsunamis on the 10's.  Today's topic: Why are people talking more and more about John Stafford? Greg Dworkin is back, back in the New York groove, poring over the datum within the data of the polling of the upcoming New York City Mayoral election which will be won by Zohran Mamdani. Does Mamdani say things right, or does he say the right things?  Democrats are mostly crap at both, but also aren't Republicans, so there's that. The world's most important mayoral race is under the cloud of a mass shooting, which is not only a test for not-yet-Mayor Mamdani, but he'll no doubt be graded on everyone else's mass shootings as well. Donald K. Trump is probably working on ways to work Zohran into his Epstein conversations. Yesterday, Trump settled the whole Epstein mess by explaining that he caught Jeff stealing all the underage babes he had invested in, stored in the Mar-a-Lago basement, and if there was one motto Donald does not believe in, it's “Bros before hos”. Trump should sue Epstein for all of the money that he lost to Jeff's “business” … or he could pardon Diddy. That should do it.

Today, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin return to distract you from the real problem, whatever that might be. Another RIP goes out, this time to Tom Lehrer. Some of you know his math, and a few of you might know his cryptography, but many of you know many of his songs, and you owe it to yourself to know many more. Hopefully, this will be an opportunity for some sort of collaboration with Ozzy Osborne. Scotland welcomes Donald K. Trump. They say that the K stands for Knuckle-brained fart lozenge.  We say they're welcome to him. Inexplicably, the Scots keep letting him in.  Donald saves on strokes by aiming for his caddy's back pocket. Independents dislike Trump even more than they dislike Biden. Voters hate what Trump does and hate Democrats for letting him do it. That darn Epstein! Out there, stealing Trump's glory and/or distracting from his crimes. Trump opens the borders to violent criminals and mass murderers. It isn't only that MAGA likes rapists and murderers, but it's how much they like to rape and murder that makes them so deplorable.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin wish you all a joyous and/or contemplative Pioneer Day this year, along with the other 364. (Coincidentally, Jeffery Epstein's motto was “Bring ‘em young!”) Many questions remain unanswered following Epstein's untimely demise, but one thing is certain: Donald FN Trump's name is all over the Epstein files, and he knows it. Gops sneak out the back door and hope no one notices. Democrats follow them out and hope everyone notices. Thus, we are only about a week away from Ghislaine Maxwell's mysterious death in, or miraculous release from, prison. Sedation, stat! Donald's meds need to be upped. Tulsi Gabbard makes the US take one for Team Trump. Why supply evidence when the boss says you have proof? Is Trump's treason accusation a confession? Ya figure? Trump pulls a reverse-Jesus and sins so that his followers may live to sin. Gop Mike Lawler will hide in the House, barking, rather than challenge Governor Kathy Hochul. Donald K. Trump is… unpopular, especially among independents, but generally with everyone.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin tell us all about some of the crazy things that happened. Winning! Donald K. Trump wants to remind everyone of his many huge successes over the last 6 months, and his HUGE hands. And his unceasing admiration and respect for the Indigenous peoples of the Americas. And the scandal-plagued Obama administration, along with Barack Hussein's many felonies. But not Jeffery Epstein. Donald does not want to remind anyone that his name is in the Epstein files. or how and why his name got into the Epstein files. Or how he tried to cover up his appearance in the Epstein files. But you know, if people want to cry about how he's a corrupt pervert, Trump is certainly capable of giving them something new to cry about. 44% believe they will be worse off in a year, yet may not grasp how much worse off they'll be in a week. Some have only begun to realize just how much worse off they are now. On the other hand, Andrew Cuomo thinks there might be a little too much success in New York City. Zohran Mamdani promises to not say the thing he never said. Alina Habba had a rough start, but her trajectory is now smoothing out into a steep dive. He was Trump's pick for US Attorney in Albany, but it turns out that John A. Sarcone III is only “acting”.

It's a good thing Greg Dworkin had a lot of links today. Because there was a lot to say, even if there were only a very few topics most people were talking about. And by that, we mean Jeffrey Epstein, and the fact that Donald Trump was his very good friend, because they were both giant perverts. No one's buying the Trump administration's story. I mean, like, no one. Not the Trump-supporting Speaker of the House. Not ultra-Trump-supporting rank & file members of Congress. Not the grifters who came up on the Trump coattails. Not the grifters positioning themselves to usurp the coat itself. Not the high-information, liberal voters who might be using it to troll low-information voters. Not even the low-information voters themselves, who don't care about anything. Maybe he's just used up all the quarters he had lined up for his brainwashing machine. Whatever the reason, he's now got MAGA & the Republican party splintered over this thing he seems determined to insist everyone should ignore. But wait! Maybe Trump can save his presidency with substantive accomplishments on the policy side! Hahahahahaha! Ohhhhh, man! Hey, just kidding, folks! Ha ha! That was a good one! No, there's no hope for that! And the midterm political outlook is only set to get worse, even if the policy itself somehow doesn't. But it is getting worse! Oh well, at least there's Elon Musk's third party. Hahahaha! Gotcha again! Meanwhile, this coverup isn't even the worst thing Pam Bondi is doing with her time. Well, we have time for one more subject. By which I mean about an hour. How about the NYC mayoral race, where we're looking at voters in the 40s and 50s. No, not by age. By net approve/disapprove! (OK, but also by age.) In fact, how about the NYC mayoral race, and how some people are so consumed by it, that they think it has bearing on the outcome of totally unrelated races, thousands of miles away.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin follow another Trump Weekend™ with another Monday KITM! YAY! QAnon was right — THEY don't want you to know! Imagine MAGA's surprise, and everyone else's lack of surprise, when “They” turned out to be Trump. Trump's Epstein cover-up (The latest cover-up, that is, as Trump has covered for Epstein forever.) could tear apart MAGA as a portion of them actually believe what they've been saying, and for most of them, this issue is the most complex that they are prepared to handle. Heads must roll, and that never means Trump. Therefore, Ghislaine Maxwell is making certain that all of her prison security cameras are in tiptop condition today. Dan Bongino was too undisclosed to clock into work this morning. That leaves Pam Bondi, She-Wolf of the DOJ, who has just fired her personal ethics chief. Kash Patel threatens to show up even less at work if Pam stays. Eight men were told that they were being sent to Louisiana but ended up in Djibouti. Following the orders of armed masked men never turns out well. Kristi Noem expects that more bureaucracy, more paperwork, more delays and more inefficiencies will lead to more government savings. Fewer survivors equal even more savings. Of course, in central Texas, a functioning government equals Communism. In New York City, voters see things differently.

Greg Dworkin heard from a friend that they have a friend whose other friend says that Vladimir Putin doesn't want to go out with Donald Trump anymore. Or maybe vice versa. Anyway, somebody is gonna be upset over the resumption of arms shipments to Ukraine. Could be Trump. Certainly will be Putin. Might also be Hegseth! The eyes of Texas (and everywhere else) are still upon “Flash Flood Alley,” so they'll have to get their story straight (and tell it to the judge) about whether they do or don't have an emergency alert system, and if so, whether they did or didn't use it. They certainly should have one. After all, they're now acknowledging that extreme weather incidents are human-caused. Sort of. The national obsession over the New York City mayoral election continues, mostly because Zohran Mamdani's sizeable lead in the polls continues. The Adams camp is making some… unusual choices for managing the campaign. Or at least, someone is making them for them. Anyway, the political scientists have a heads up for you, if you've been wondering where the winning coalition would come from. Meanwhile, Donald Trump has opened up (even) dumb(er) new frontiers in his “Trade Wars,” this time with the largest coffee producer in the world and second-most-populous country in the Western Hemisphere: Brazil. And they don't like it. But they are also not as dumb, as anyone can plainly see. Dumber still, but even more frightening, Trump continues to use vast federal powers to prosecute his personal gripes. We heard the other day about his insistence that “investigations” be opened into former FBI Director James Comey and former CIA Director John Brennan. Now we learn that… for some strange reason… the Secret Service decided to tail Comey on his way back from his beach vacation, then haul him in for questioning over that “86 47” message he wrote out in seashells. And it looks like they have the same and more planned for Chris Wray, too. You know, the FBI Director Trump picked after he fired Comey.

David Waldman returns for the Wednesday KITM and look who he brought — Greg Dworkin! Greg asks, where are the Evangelicals? Well, not out doing God's work, that's for sure. Donald K. Trump, who lies a lot, lied a lot at his cabinet meeting yesterday. Ric Grenell and Marco Rubio art of the dealed each other out of prisoner swaps in El Salvador. (Marco's AI imposter could do a better job.) Pete (Hic!) seth held back arms to Ukraine but left boss Trump out of the chat. That's ok, Donald's boss never listens to him either. Kimberly Guilfoyle could've been First Lady, twice, but will settle for a big fat Greek ambassadorship. Marjorie Taylor Greene doesn't seem to know that much, but that's only because she's an idiot. Marge clearly does her research. Trump thought all this Jeffery Epstein nonsense was killed in its jailcell and cremated long ago, but no, just like some drugged 13-year-old girl, they just can't seem to let it go. Meanwhile, in the midst of a tragic disaster in Texas, reporters have the bad taste to show disrespect for inept public servants. Sirens would have helped, as would even a timely text. The Bayeux Tapestry travels from France to Britain for the first time in history, but you can look at it on your phone. UVA president James E. Ryan threw himself in front of the Trump Train to save his university, and its grant structure. The FBI investigates the FBI for its associations with other FBI members as if they were the Stasi. Trump tariffs are going to make copper more expensive here than almost anywhere. 

Wednesday, and it's David Waldman and Greg Dworkin's last live appearance before Explodey Day! Probably not their last alive appearance, though. They don't seem the types to screw around with such things. Zohran, the Destroyer! Zohran, the Magnificent! Zohran, the Relatable! Nothing scares Democrats more than winning, because if you win... you could lose. And yet… sometimes a win or two will slip in, like in New Jersey, or maybe around San Diego. Of course, winning just invites death threats. Don't worry Dems, Trump says he holds all the levers, and well, he kind of does. Paramount anted up its $16 M (to make $8 B), and the bag gets passed back to CNN. Lisa Murkowski got hers, if you want any, you be a Senator. Trump had a great time in the undrained swamp. What is it about “Alligator Alcatraz” that seems to resonate with MAGA? Does it harken back to a time America could rediscover its lost… greatness? Sean “Diddy” Combs escaped sex trafficking and racketeering charges but was convicted of a prostitution offense. Jimmy Swaggart would probably forgive that, but can't look to Donald Trump for forgiveness, for the moment. Jared L. Wise, who wanted to kill police on Jan 6, has been given an opportunity to do so at the DOJ. University of Virginia president James E. Ryan took one for the team, and the team's hundreds of millions in federal funding and resigned, to give Trump his biggest kill yet. LOL libtards! What happened to all that tariff disaster you said was heading our way? Wait… Oh, this just in….

Here we are, at the end of a long month, but David Waldman and Greg Dworkin still aren't tired and can keep it up as long as we can. Thom Tillis picked up his integrity at the coat check area and left the Senate, rather than having Trump's fat ugly bill become his epitaph. Of course, Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski are oh-so-close to becoming Democrats… until right about now in the process, when someone offers them a “reacharound” or a “wraparound” or whatever the kids are calling it nowadays. No normal person would vote for this bill, but few in DC run into people outside of a photo op. Mayors, however, run into actual people no matter where their cities are, which is a shock to those politicians who aren't used to that. Donald K. Trump wants everyone to know that the people who leaked the truth about Iran are LYING and will be prosecuted to the full extent of the laws that will be disregarded in their prosecution. Alligator Auschwitz awaits them all. Trump will release an MS-13 friend of Salvadoran President Nayib Bukele to get him to take back Kilmar Abrego Garcia and maybe lose him a little better this time. Bibi Netanyahu notes that the more Gazans he kills, the more open he feels towards a ceasefire deal. Pam Bondi, She-Wolf of the DOJ, finds her A-II solutions to be just as fun as her 2A ones. Here's what a $1 Trillion Medicaid Cut would look like. Here's a little of what it would feel like.

It's Thursday and David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back to KITM and itching to analyze! You don't mess with the Zohran! “Ranked choice” voting defeats “hold your nose and just” voting. You got to hope it's the beginning of the end of the political consultant era, but good luck with that. When Dems discover they can be elected by listening to constituents DC will become a ghost town. And if you think that Democrats are terrified of Zohran Mamdani, you should see Republicans! Donald K. Trump fears Zohran almost as much as he does AOC. Ted Cruz and Stephen Miller hate Mamdani almost as much as people hate Ted Cruz and Stephen Miller.  Libertarians don't want Zohran, but always figure that fewer of anybody means more for them anyhow. About the only people who like Zohran Mamdani are the majority of New York City, who especially like it when things work and don't cost too much. Muslim youths love Mamdani and talked Muslim olds into voting for him. Not enough Black youths talked to the Black olds. Generally, the Democratic party needs more youths and fewer olds. Kari Lake's dream of Trump becoming the Marion Jones of Nobel prizes has been obliterated. Only 38% of Americans support Trump's Iran War, so instead Pete Kegsbreath has declared war on Jennifer Griffin, and Trump has declared war on Natasha Bertrand. The next lady on the White House bombing list is Elizabeth MacDonough, Senate Parliamentarian, who has compiled a big beautiful list of Byrd rule violations in the Gop budget bill.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back with the latest in KITM and KITM accessories. You might not know that Dennis Kucinich was mayor of Cleveland, or that Jerry Springer was mayor of Cincinnati, yet you probably know every mayor of New York City over your entire life, maybe earlier. They NYC mayoral race is like no other, and Zohran Mamdani's Democratic primary win is a win like no other. The establishment fears him; the political class has been trying to stop him, and with good reason. Zohran is a populist who seems to actually be a man of the people! Not many saw him coming, because no one would bet that voters could find someone with genuine merit. Credit should go to ranked choice voting's ability to sift out the individual voter's judgement away from the rankest choice, Andrew Cuomo. As Donald K. Trump famously said of his bombing of Iran, “I came, I saw, I conquered”. Lately though, Trump's been quoted, “Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them?” (He might have picked up that quote elsewhere.) Is Emil Bove the most unethical judicial nominee in modern history? Or is the real sinner the whistleblower who snitched on him? If Trump is infallible, perceiving his actions as failures is heresy, and threatening him is blasphemy, and the whole idea of ethics and morality is open to discussion. HUD likes the National Science Foundation headquarters, so they are throwing out 1,800 employees. Maybe they'll locate affordable housing for them. At least you won't see Big Balls hanging out around DC… unless you mistake him for JD Vance.

Give me a "K! ..."K"! give me an "I"! ..."I"! Give me a "T"! ..."T" Give me a "M"! ..."M"! WHATS THAT SPELL?   David Waldman and Greg Dworkin return this week with a golden oldie that some of you out there might remember: Well, come on all of you big strong men, Uncle Sam needs your help again. He got himself in a terrible jam, way down yonder in Iran! Put down your books and pick up a gun, we're gunna have a whole lotta fun!   Turns out that Donakd… Donald K. Trump has never been awfully TACO when it comes to other people's lives… and we're talking Muslims here.  He's also not against regime change when it's other people's regimes. However, he hates capitalism when it gets in the way of his capitalism. And, never, ever, dare to take his limelight.   CHORUS And its 1,2,3 what are we fightin for? Don't ask me, I don't give a damn, the next stop is Iran. And its 5,6,7 open up the pearly gates. Well, there ain't no time to wonder why... Whoopee we're all gunna die!   It appears that Donald and Bibi arranged to reach around and wag each other's dogs in Iran. It was an intimate circle wag, however, so Democrats and JD Vance weren't invited. People could watch it on the internet if they chose to, and even Pete Hegseth got midnight hammered...   Now come on wall street don't be so slow, why man this's war a-go-go-go! There's plenty good money to be made, supplyin' the army with the tools of the trade. Just hope and pray that when they drop the bomb, they drop it on the other ones!   … Anyhow, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, except Trump is no W, more of an L. Who knows what the future might bring? (We kind of know...)   CHORUS And its 1,2,3 what are we fightin for? Don't ask me I don't give a damn, the next stop is Iran. And its 5,6,7 open up the pearly gates. Well, there ain't no time to wonder why...Whoopee we're all gunna die!   Now, come on generals let's move fast, your big chance is here at last. Tonight, you go out and get those reds, cuz the only good commie is one that's dead, You know that peace can only be won, when you blow em all to kingdom come!   CHORUS And its 1,2,3 what are we fightin for? Don't ask me I don't give a damn, the next stop is Iran. And its 5,6,7 open up the pearly gates. Well, there ain't no time to wonder why...Whoopee we're all gunna die!   … Oh, and there's an election in New York City.  Vote Zohran. ABC: Anybody but Cuomo. Not as a joke, not out of name recognition, this is ranked choice voting, so too many second-choice picks could elect the wrong guy...   Now come on mothers throughout the land, pack your boys off to Iran. Come on fathers don't hesitate, send your sons off before it's too late, Be the first one on your block, to have your boy come home in a box!   CHORUS And its 1,2,3 what are we fightin for? Don't ask me I don't give a damn, the next stop is Iran. And its 5,6,7 open up the pearly gates. Well, there ain't no time to wonder why...Whoopee we're all gunna die!

David Waldman is back on the air again, LIVE! Greg Dworkin returns, with mega polls! No, not Trump's high poles, but Trump's low polls, along with the latest takeaways from the KITM World Headquarters Primaries… well, Virginia primaries, same difference. Will TikTok TACO Trump chicken out with Iran? We're talking about millions of actual lives here... so maybe not. MAGA thought they opposed such things as “forever wars”, but they'll get over it, like their opposition to Russia. It's easy to do when you think about it, and even easier when you don't. You'd think that making conspiracy theorists put up or shut up would put them in some sort of bind, but these are a spunky and resilient group of whackadoodles. Confronted with a tragically factual Christian nationalist assassin, they expeditiously took reality lemons and turned them into MAGA lemonade. Chinese license plates and thousands of cards stole the 2020 election for Bernie Sanders. Not many people know that. Donald K. Trump is objectively bad for America. Journalists are hesitant to point that out, lest their network soapboxes be turned into real ones. Still, with protests, it pays to not give MAGA a seed of truth to roll their dung around. Nonviolence is the way. Then later, we'll impeach the bastard, maybe this term, maybe his third or fourth. Four execs from the top tech companies in Silicon Valley have joined the Army Reserve but probably won't be putting boots down in Isfahan soon or even in the next two weeks. They were of course invited because of their special technological genius. NYC tycoons are saying “There goes the neighborhood” if Zohran Mamdani moves in.

Don't worry! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin will be back next week! But what do you care? You'll have brand-new KITMs, five of them, to listen to until their return! But first: Correspondent Terry Moran posted that Trump was a world-class hater without first taking into consideration what world-class haters do, and what his world-class coward employers would do about it. Stephen Miller is working to make America great for Nick Fuentes. He's Goebbels without a master race, Nosferatu without the sentimentality.  People don't like that. Ok, lots of people do like to see people get their skulls cracked on TV, but “them” are beginning to look a little too much like “they” lately for their comfort. Trump's “Butthurt Mussolini” persona is becoming less fun and too real. Tin soldiers are coming, and we don't even have Nixon's sense of morality, or Westmoreland's propriety this time. We're finally on our own… This summer you'll hear the drumming... Except at the New York Times, where they beautifully habituate. Pope Leo will be presenting the opposing viewpoint to Trump at Rate Field in Chicago on June 14. She-Wolf of the DOJ, Pam Bondi's big brother Brad Bondi works to rationalize his 82-point election loss. Trump has discovered the Lost Cause and promised to return it to military bases in the South.  It might be a slow boring topic, but the threat is real from right-NIMBYs opposing the Abundance Agenda. Then there's Oklahoma's HD 71 special election, where the debate centers around professional experience.

Some of y'all can't handle two high agency men, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin, talking over each other… but if you can, you came to a good place. And yet, there's no way to delay that trouble coming every day.  We all know what happens when armed forces are deployed as police. Donald K. Trump knows. Even his idiot son can figure it out. What really happened outside the Paramount Home Depot doesn't matter to Homan, Miller, Hegseth or Trump. It's what they can do to bait all of the protestors, or even just one or two of them. The White House dropped a steaming pile of memoranda that only smells like it violated Posse Comitatus. The Guard is only there to “put down rebellion”, and rebellious protestors always have the choice to turn off their cell phones or be put down. California Gov. Gavin Newsom invited Tom Homan onto his podcast but won't pay his airfare. The full force of the DOJ and FBI were brought to bear on the world's most notorious super criminal Kilmar Abrego Garcia, in order to come up with something with which to charge him. Now they can all go back to arresting the Deep State like they promised they would. That'll finally make America great again. Trump's fat ugly bill increases the national debt by $2.4 trillion, but more importantly it will kick 11 million people off their health insurance. As always, the cruelty is the point. Fox is running out of carpet to sweep the Trump tariffs under. Each day it becomes harder to outrun the facts on Trump deportations. Whatever happened to the US-Britain trade deal? You'd think that this administration wasn't being completely honest with everyone.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin pull out all the stops on today's KITM! David predicted that North Korea would be the US Hassle Target of the Day, but who would guess that it would turn out to be Burma! That and every other country darker than Trump's spray tan. That's the same criteria Stephen Miller has outlined for ICE deportations. The problem is, MAGA knows some of “those good ones”. They'd never eat dinner with those people, of course, but they sure enjoyed being served dinner by them. Time for Trump's three-word EO: “No, not them.” Meanwhile, arrest the moms, arrest their kids, arrest them all, let Trump sort them out. The Trump administration is spending $2 million to figure out whether those people cause plane crashes. If the report comes to conclusions that Trump doesn't like, they'll bury it, like the recent Agriculture Department trade analysis. Or say it's a Dem cult, like the American Bar Association, the Congressional Budget Office, or Jews. Howard Lutnick wants retribution over reciprocity even when neither is deserved. Trump cut nearly 2,500 NIH research grants as whatever the cure was wasn't going to be named after him anyhow. Elon Musk is gone but not forgotten. Big Balls carries on. ICE is hot for the DC career conscious, but that leaves the counter-terrorism field wide open for enterprising grocery store clerks like Thomas Fugate, whose eyebrow game in on point. Andrew Cuomo is somehow, again, the guy to beat for NYC Mayor, while in Canada they like their winners a lot more than their losers.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back, watch out Singapore! (Those two things are probably unrelated, but I still don't understand how Transnistrians always get off.) And to think, Donald thought Elon was his friend! Elon has privately expressed frustration on a range of recent moves by Trump administration… on X.com... which could be considered pretty private by now. Oh, those two will make up soon, they're like brothers, really. Trump would never consider hurting Musk, not out of friendship of course, but because Trump always chickens out. However, if Musk ever weakens, Trump's instinct will kick in, as the Federalist Society will attest. The DOJ is reviewing Biden's pardons. Not to ever diminish pardon power, but to hurt Joe Biden just a little more while they have a chance. No inconsistency there, deplorability is their lodestar, and the only dissonance they feel is when some gets on them. The guy who used various incendiary devices against pro-Israel demonstrators undoubtedly wished for the efficiency and efficacy of an AR. Now, his wife and 5 kids will be deported… unless the kids are citizens, then I guess that they are “exiled”... Authoritarians' greatest enemy are other people with authority granted to them through education or experience. That is why Donald K. Trump makes certain that the people close to him have neither. Who needs education or experience anyhow? Oh, yes… China. Gops are proud idiots and will fight anyone who says otherwise. You wouldn't believe what dopes and screwballs they are, which indeed has become their superpower. Trump has an iPhone to dial up anyone, or butt-dial anyone, and sometimes the people he calls can tell the difference.  If you want to see how a democracy should be run, look no further than South Korea… You might not want to look any nearer, though.

David Waldman, Greg Dworkin and Thursday, together again. Nothing else seems to be right in the world, but that makes sense. Sorry Hispanics! Trump Tower Grill has permanently removed the delicious taco bowl off its menu. Trump doesn't want to hear the words “TACO”, nor “chicken”, ever again. He'd prefer you say that he was traitorously devaluing stocks to enrich insiders than to hurt him so. Trump's tariffs have been halted by the “Court of International Trade”, which turns out to be an actual thing. America's trading partners cautiously creep out into the sunlight to see if it's safe. Tariffs might subside, but the damage is permanent. As with Trump 1.0, it's hard to imagine the disaster if these people were competent. House Gop Rep. Mike Flood explains that he's just too stupid to be blamed for this mess. Tariffs aren't the only thing that Trump always chickens out on. Donald's squealing louder about Harvard, because he's starting to be backed up. Elon Musk, who doesn't work at DOGE, is leaving DOGE, which doesn't exist, therefore, he's not really going anywhere. Still, wherever Elon goes, federal money will follow. Elon will go down in history as… well, he won't because he fired all of the historians. Trump wants his henchman Emil Bove, the only guy “alive” who looks more like Stephen Miller than Stephen Miller, to be a federal judge in order to enable him to hench better. Miller presently has several reasons for his long face, one being his wife allegedly running off to “Master Race” with Elon Musk. An ugly future for this world, indeed. Trump ratfucker Ed Martin's new job is weaponizing the DOJ weaponization probes, while also brainstorming new MAGA underworld members to pardon. He's almost run out of Republican congressmen to spring, but that's because Trump has been shutting down investigations before they can become indictments.   Todd Chrisley walks out of prison showing off his “prison bod”, but that isn't the bod that got him pardoned. Woke Okies plan to opt-out of having their kids take part in the state's White-Christian nationalist school curriculum or to even look at the superintendent.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin recalled that today was Wednesday, and many more useful and interesting things on today's KITM: MAGA didn't just move the Overton Window, they... threw it out the window. We now expect a punch in the face over a handshake. We expect losers to win, winners to lose, enemies to have our back, and fools to inform us. How much should politicians follow political consultants and polls? Well, let's consult the numbers with this expert! Like no other president before him, Donald K. Trump feels the pain of jury-convicted celebrity tax-cheats and fraudsters who hate Joe Biden and arrange to give him $1 million or more up front. Poor Elon! The only way Musk would ever get a Starship to Mars is if he took the stick and flew it himself. MAHA! A-ha! “Ah... No” say the different factions of crazy in health nuts. Honky Tonk Man wanted to be the “El Kabong” of WWF, but he was more like the “JD Vance” ... who btw has Jeb Bush charisma wrapped in Steven Miller whimsicality. Meanwhile, Senate Democrats could do something, if only Senate Democrats did things. People who do fight Trump, do win.

His bluebirds bouncing off the KITM World Headquarters transom windows might now be replaced by bluegills, yet David Waldman was able to arrive in freshly washed sweatpants to greet our birthday boy Greg Dworkin 

Today, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin take it to the next level but only find more pits to jump over. Sauds are used to having guests “brown-nose” them, but they haven't met anyone quite so into it as Donald K. Trump. Donald's still over there, so there must be more silverware he can fit under his baggy suit. Useless Grok at ExTwitter can tell you what Trump's scheme is but will probably blame it on White genocide. Not even AI knows what Kash Patel did as a consultant for Qatar. Even the New York Post can't spin Qatar's ‘Palace in the Sky' plane as anything other than a bribe. It's such an outrageous and obvious grift that Kristi Noem had to get in on it. She already has a $50 million jet but could always use others to match her outfits. Don Jr. is making sure that he's getting a taste. Elon Musk is having the US State Department force small African countries send him money, because it's always more fun to take money from poor people. DOGE doesn't amuse Elon anymore, so Gops will need a plan B. Now that there's more blood in the water than water, Dems are beginning to smell it. Oregon's attorney general is suing to block Trump's tariffs. Omaha, Nebraska has flipped blue in a big way. In New Jersey, six Democratic candidates are trying to squeeze through the primary door. Kamala Harris leads Donald Trump in the 2024 election! Unfortunately, they aren't accepting votes on that anymore, but House seats are coming up. FREE KILMAR! To the world, authoritarian countries begin to resemble their leaders, and the US is becoming an old, orange-faced jackass. Walmart will be passing tariff costs to the consumer. The bond market doesn't see us recovering. Meanwhile, birthright citizenship seems like a pretty obvious right. Trump demands that SCOTUS declare everyone who thinks that “pre-wrong”, or at least “pre-stupid”.

David Waldman throws the news at us and dives for cover. Greg Dworkin tells us that the worst is by design, and he brings the receipts from around the world. Trump makes the world safe for White flight. Donald stopped the war between India and Pakistan using only his mind. He is now wishing the war in Gaza to end. Who's Ukraine? Maybe they got him coffee one time. South Korea's conservatives throw everything up in the air to see if it all falls into place. Germany wishes to ignore their far-right, but they are a noisy bunch. After 40 years, the Kurdish group PKK says, “Oh well, it was worth a try.” In Virginia, they have no one to blame but themselves but probably won't. So, Qatar is sending Trump a giant golden palace of a 747. Hey, can't a country give their buddy a thing without everyone suddenly questioning it? The White House said Ceci n'est pas une émolument, or something to that effect. Anyhow, Trump is only borrowing it until he keeps it... that's not “corrupt”, it's called “being smart”. You'd have to be a radical Left Trump hater to say otherwise. Trump said “tariffs”, setting off another sheep stampede. Time for another executive order to yell at another cloud, this time to demand that prices go down from up where they are. Drug prices should go down once the customer base passes away. James Bond still can rest easy, his car shopping remains tariff-free. Insult to Nazis, Steven Miller, is thinking about suspending habeas corpus, inspiring fantasies of abusing his corpus. David explains habeas corpus, as does just about everyone with a keyboard this morning. We have always been at war with Eastasia. Newark Mayor Ras Baraka refused to take the bait at an ICE detention center, but that didn't keep them from arresting him. He's lucky they didn't send in Seal Team 6.

Greg Dworkin helps launch us into the weekend, with a rapid-fire roundup that somehow made a detour to Madison Square Garden. There's a new terrible Surgeon General nominee in town (who may or may not be into the raw milk thing), the old one having been chucked over on Laura Loomer's say-so! But there won't be much new baby gear in town, thanks to those tariffs. Any port in a storm, they say. But not in a trade war. And certainly not if it's on the Gulf of Mexico. Speaking of which, I don't know if any other countries are going to listen to us about that renaming project. But I know they're not listening to us on the anti-DEI project. Why would they? Why, exactly, is Elon Musk hoovering up so much government data? It's irresponsible not to speculate! North Carolina's long regional nightmare is over. Incredibly, a Trumper appears to be listening to a judge! But maybe that's because he wanted to be a judge. Trump's memecoin is a huge corruption scandal. Which (necessarily) means that its benefits skew entirely toward his wealthiest boosters. (Well, except one of them!) Especially the foreign ones. Strongly-worded letter to follow? In the House, Trump's “one big, beautiful bill” doesn't look so attractive anymore. But that's life with a razor-thin majority, I guess. Trump and courts still just don't really mix. His DOJ gets its ass handed to it in a key immigration case, with another egregious case—deportations to Libya!—likely next on the track. The kids are alright. But they've elected an anti-pope! They may still be alright, but this DOGE kid isn't.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back on the Wednesday KITM, and probably still aren't AI generated, although honestly, have you ever actually seen them? Are Jesus and Buddha space alien lizard people? Trump TV is as unglued as Trump. AI chatbots will encourage you to believe this and much more while they take over your job, and eventually your life. In real life, Kari Lake is making One America News the Voice of America. Apple juice will be one of the first things wiped off the shelves by the Trump tariff tsunami. Ed Martin was intended to make MAGA great again but is too MAGA to even get out of committee. Oh, so now disengaged voters are becoming engaged? Well, maybe too late is better than never. Dotard Donald is becoming more doddering with every passing day, and he's completely lost his bullshit fastball. If only Democrats said what they mean, mean what they said, and got stuff done, it'd be so simple. If you can't imagine a worse fate for migrants than being kidnapped and sent to El Salvador, you don't have the into-the-box imagination of a Steven Miller. Picture what awaits deportees to Libyan or Rwandan prisons! At war with Houthi rebels, the Navy has resorted to the tactic of throwing fighter jets at them. What has Ron DeSantis done for Trump lately? Not much, so into the meatball machine Ron goes.

Skype or no Skype, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin remain ready to entertain and inform us for another week or so, at least. What incomprehensibly stupid thing did Trump do or say this weekend? What incomprehensibly stupid thing didn't he say or do? Trump will make America great again by sending people to Alcatraz again, and by sending troops into Mexico, again. Trump announced 100% tariffs on Endor, Andor, and Xandar until they send all their greenscreens back to Burbank and Berea. Like a snowball disproves global warming, Wall Street stocks are proving tariff skeptics wrong. When nothing comes into port, however, nothing goes onto shelves. Donald could make a smart move in the Abrego Garcia case if he wanted to, but no one can make him. ICE will stop even ideas from crossing the border. Little Marco Rubio is now Team Trump's main man. All he had to do was lose a little of his attitude. Which Republican will have the courage to step forward?  That would suppose that there are any of them that aren't incomprehensibly stupid, wouldn't it? Around the world, fewer want to MAGA, the more they learn about it, while this administration eliminates our transnational crime unit before too many wise up.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin discuss the first 100 days; the next 100 we might need to take a day at a time. Virginia's Abigail Spanberger kind of leans Democrat, as so does her race for Governor in the state. The Senate almost stood up to Trump on Tariffs, almost. JD Vance finally found his special purpose. The US economy is beginning to cave in. It is weird how that seems to coincide with the Trump Tariffs. Trump explains that anything going wrong in this term will be Joe Biden's fault, and to just wait for his third or so term to make any judgement. In the meantime, you might need to cut back to two dolls or two Big Macs when you had planned on buying maybe 30. Pete Kegsbreath can't be more of an idiot, although he does put in daily effort to do so. Pete attended Trump's latest anal appreciation session and was personally singled out by Trump, which is a sure sign that… Mike Walz was to be bumped off. Oh well, plenty of morons where he came from. ICE isn't allowed to deport people, so how about the DoD? Ok, it's the DMV, then. Donald asked if Abrego Garcia could come back, but El Salvador said no, so that's that. The US has finally arranged to drink Ukraine's milkshake. Purportedly. Trump and paperwork, man. When it comes to Harlem vs. Harvard, Donald prefers the one where Blacks know their place. Trump is unconcerned with laws, because he plans to be the law. If you really enjoy grifting, go where the graft is, the Executive Branch. If you want to appeal to Democrats… I don't know, go wherever you see those hippy types. More Democrats need to go wherever Chris Murphy and Elizabeth Warren are.

The Frick and Frack of facts and fun, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin close out the month with today's KITM. Hoo boy are the next 100 days going to be awful. The Trump Tariffs Tsunami has begun to reach landfall and will be lapping over our hairlines in only weeks. Tourists are staying away in droves. Americans don't support Donald K. Trump on the economy. They don't support him on a lot of things. In fact, Americans don't support Trump on so many levels, that if they had any other viable choice than Democrats to pick from, they'd have already fled to whomever that would be… even so, Trump is feeling pretty threatened. Like any wild animal, Trump has an instinctual defense ready: stupid lies. The more he's threatened, the more lies, and the more stupidity until Trump's pursuer gives up, or until Karoline Leavitt saves him. Karoline has her work cut out for her, as Trump would have dug all the way to ‘Gina in his ABC interview had Terry Moran only allowed him to. She-Wolf of the DOJ, Pam Bondi, will tell you that Donald personally saved the lives of one third of the United States population in only 100 days. I mean, what more can you ask? Trump says he “could” bring Abrego Garcia back from El Salvador, but doesn't feel like it. A Fortune 500 company fired their lawyer who helped an immigrant family. The Turner Diaries is the MAGA Constitution. El Salvador is in it for the money, crypto money, and by coincidence so is the Trump family.  Believe it or not, Trump has a trust problem in the courts. Trump's lawyers aren't helping by being assholes. LeBron James of lawyers, Steven Biskupic, will be defending the Judge arrested by Trump's FBI. Steven's LeBron James of a sister will be reporting.

Busy day today! David Waldman has not one, but two days of Trump embarrassment to cover while Greg Dworkin hauls in not one, but two big Rafts O' Stories™! Donald K. Trump is a weak loser and everything he does sucks. The yutes that thought they'd love him are beginning to hate him. Bringing back Columbus Day from the ashes may not be the October surprise he and Gops hope for. New York Republican Mike Lawler found out how much Trump stink rubs off at his recent town hall.  Trump wants to see the people that complain at these town halls to be not “treated nicely”. Some nuances to that request need to be worked out, as the six men now criminally charged in the assault of Teresa Borrenpohl in Idaho can attest. OTOH, unidentified balaclava-hooded men accosted people in a Virginia courthouse, and the people who challenged their authority will be the ones prosecuted. Trump demands that people who might not like him are thrown out, fired or arrested. That's a lot of people, and that number will only grow. Taking out the judiciary is certain to streamline his process. Milwaukee County Circuit Judge Hannah Dugan has been charged with two felonies as an example to uppity judges. A former New Mexico judge has now been arrested for protecting a guy ICE thought really seemed MS-13ish. 60 Minutes Executive Producer Bill Owens quit, and correspondent Scott Pelley pretty much announces that the show will be crap from now on. Summer Redstone didn't think that his daughter Shari Redstone should take over Viacom/Paramount. Turns out, the old man was right.  All of this disgust that Trump and the Gop are earning might be good news for Democrats, had anyone liked Democrats. Democrats demand moderation! Or, to fight back! Or, to move right! Or, to redefine themselves! Or, to STFU. What was the question again?

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin stand athwart chaos yelling Stop. But chaos never listens.  Pete Kegsbreath wasn't allowed a phone in the Pentagon, so he had Signal installed on his computer. For our national security we clearly need to find the 5th grader who keeps advising Pete. Now he's asking for a makeup studio with a lock on the door. All that would seem kind of scandalous, until you hear what his boss is up to. There's the Trump Tariffs, which could be at any level on any country as you read this, but it doesn't matter. The damage has already been done, and in a few weeks that tsunami will make landfall. It's easy to predict the destruction and lawsuits are in preparation. Trump has some new and old lies prepared, and some will be prepared to believe them. After all, look at how Elon Musk's transparent lies always boost his stocks. Maybe a couple of big flags will help. Trump's deportation machine keeps growing, as do the lies. Migrants keep going to El Salvador, despite court orders. Donald K. Trump explains that trials would take a lot of time and effort, and we need to deal with masses of offenders quickly and efficiently if we want a real final solution to our illegals problem. Generally, people don't approve of these things. Trump's approval rating is lower than the “worst president in history”, which is also of course, him. ICE trucks cruising around like ice cream trucks seem to have soured Hispanic support. Trump would rather be feared than liked, but he has a real problem with not being liked as well. The only people more insecure than Trump or even Elon Musk are the incels too poor to afford to pay women to pretend to like them. They hope Trump will tariff women into relieving their 100% sex trade deficit. 

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here today, with a 50% reduction in staffing projected for tomorrow. You don't even want to know what is planned for Saturday. Hey, any human system will produce simple clerical errors, amirite? And afterwords, lie about it, lie again, and again, then stonewall any investigation, then smear and threaten the investigators, then really threaten the investigators, I mean we've all been there… Oh lord, Kilmar Abrego Garcia is already dead, isn't he? The thing that Trump does, before he quits doing it, is do it as bad as he can, so we can expect a lot worse. People are fighting back even as fighting back becomes riskier. MAGA, meanwhile, demands even more scalps. Trump will get high-flow showerheads and incandescent bulbs and coal power whether anyone else wants them or not. Especially if no one wants them. Who's going to tell him differently? Well, Trump did call off a strike on Iran nuclear sites. We'll probably find out how that happened in the next (Hic) seth leaks… if we don't read it on Signal first. Law firms who had let Donald pussygrab them might soon be dismayed to find him coming back for more. The Ivy League resistance, however, is just getting started. Remember Ron DeSantis? Donald K. Trump doesn't, so Ron has been having an increasingly difficult time keeping accountability from creeping up on him. Speaking of creeps, Frederick Piccolo Jr., a former Ron DeSantis spokesman, was caught exposing his Freddy Piccolo Jr. 4 too many times. Remember Mike Lindell? No, me neither.

David Waldman brings us to today's KITM, which is certainly a day. Greg Dworkin joins us with a slew packed into his Raft O' Stories™! What happens if a president and the federal government fail to follow a judge's orders? This administration couldn't just Google the answer to that, could they? If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. But, if you only lie, you also don't need to remember anything, yet you have nothing to be responsible for. Of course, judges have to come along and harsh everyone's mellow. Trump has a point; El Salvador's Hotel California is intended to be our NIMBY death-camp. Americans hate it when clerical errors happen in front of our faces. If people return from being disappeared, it kind of defeats the purpose.  Harvard University has decided to defeat Trump's purpose, which might cost them a couple of billion in funding. Then again, Columbia has turned about, and hopefully other universities are taking notes. Meanwhile, Maine is showing other states how it's done. Canadians are quick studies. The slowest of the slow learners, incumbent Democrats, are just beginning to find out. Are they bright enough to come out against the Trump Tariffs, though?  Trump's Tariff Disaster might last longer than the dollar. Time for coders to retrain as coal miners, and preschoolers to jumpstart their careers in operating textile looms. Luckily, Elon Musk has been incel-seeding his own master race, for exactly these circumstances. Rumor has it that Elon's way past second base with Shivon Zilis… She could be the one! Civil rights are for losers.

The weekend provided no respite from tariff whiplash. And the tariff whiplash (and attendant cheerleading) just drove the rest of the economy that much further down. Greg Dworkin even titled the APR with a warning. And of course, when you've lost Ross Douthat, you've temporarily lost Ross Douthat. Trump spent the weekend snubbing VIPs and watching the wrong people win sporting events. In other weekend excitement—or incitement, as the case may be—there was a little extracurricular activity at the Pennsylvania Governor's mansion. Nayib Bukele is in town today. “Cool!” We'll see whether he “facilitates” Trump's defiance of the courts, or moots the whole issue (which he, like me, sees as just a contracts issue) by “gifting” Kilmar Abrego García back to the United States. Either way, we're preparing to ship still more people to El Salvador, despite the 90% “error” rate. And this extremely poor record is impacting evidence-free student round-ups not at all! The protests continue this weekend. Good thing, too! New for your radar: Binance wants the regulatory dogs called off, while it's busy trying to bribe Trump. And the latest trend in DOGE sleight-of-hand: declaring immigration targets “dead,” so that they lose their benefits, work papers, insurance, bank accounts, and pretty much everything else that makes it possible to live here. Which is the idea, of course.

Today on KITM, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back! Of course, you expected them to, but how often do things go as expected anymore? If you thought it was profitable lurking on Pete Hegseth's signal chats, just think of being on Don Jr. or MTG's alerts yesterday!  Democrats not on the friend lists are sternly authoring letters at this moment. Who'd guess that Donald K. Trump would use tariffs to reward his friends, when everyone just assumed that he was only using them to punish his enemies? Well, following Trump's victory/defeat, we can put that behind us, except that it hasn't changed and it's still coming…. The apocalypse has been only delayed, until DOGE can make a run on the banks as fun as a run on the stock market. Congress could take tariff authority back from Trump tomorrow, it's just that they've arranged for tomorrow to not arrive this year. As for today, you knew Republicans weren't going to stick around through recess debating their big horrible bill. (Including Jared Golden (Maine), Marie Gluesenkamp Perez (Wash.), Henry Cuellar (Texas) and Ed Case (Hawaii). Golden Trump bust lapel pins are the new American Flag on Republican lapels as Trump directs Pam Bondi, She Wolf of the DOJ, to find capital offences with people who weaponized politics at him. Trump has an Article 2 which allows him to call for 2nd Amendment solutions on anyone. They were just putting Henrry Villatoro Santos blindfold on when they had to let him go. Elon Musk needs to buy his elections more discreetly.  Tulsi Gabbard declared her residency in Texas, then voted in Hawaii… Look a squirrel, on that grassy knoll!