Podcast appearances and mentions of greg dworkin

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin describe two hours of highlights from the unending parade of stupidity and corruption. Even with all the money coming in from Brawndo and other sponsors, millions in "partner investment" into the UFC Freedom 250 have been unaccounted for. We all know where it's all going, though. The attending audience will represent a cross-section of America's rich and beautiful. Trump got a $620 million deal for his ne'er-do-well sons. He has routed billions to them this year. You got something against a father's love? Donald K. Trump has identified the camel not once, twice, but four successful times in a row, a presidential record that should stand for all time, unlike his name on the Kennedy Center. Trump's drone-proof DronePort might not happen either. Good news! Delinquent credit card balances are 13%! Gas prices are high now, and higher soon! People will be spending money like they have never spent before! Nobody is sicker of winning than farmers, which is why they support… Trump. If MAGA can't afford gas, they'll walk to the polls to vote Trump. Creating a Blue Texas would be as tough as taking Christ out of Christianity, so… pretty doable, actually. In Alaska, all Gop Dan Sullivan has to fear is Dan Sullivan himself.

David Waldman has more crazy to tell us about. Greg Dworkin has discovered more polls to share. We shall reconvene forthwith. 4.5% of the Texas voting population has spoken, electing deplorable Ken Paxton over deplorable wannabee John Cornyn. That' sa lot of deplorables, enough for a Trump win, maybe enough fora Republican loss. At least that's the dream. Today, the good news is that James Talarico has shaken up the race and gave life to the Democratic cause across the state. Texas Gop money will pour into convincing their voters that they are capable of holding their noses tight enough to vote for Paxton. More importantly, with John Cornyn gone, so is the money and clout that he brought to the state as a ranking Senator. Seniority used to be the path to money and clout in government. Those days seem long gone. To commemorate their departure, Donald K. Trump hopes to pass some illegal tender to the geeks and carnies out in the back yard building a stage for the Milli, or Vanilli concert. Nicki Minaj, Kid Rock and Ted Nugent are too big for this gig… oops, Milli Vanilli ends up locating a threshold of embarrassment. Trump has no threshold. Trump threatens to attack Oman, intervened to score another $640 million for Junior, and $13.1 million for his pool boy. He wants to jail his rape victim, E. Jean Carroll.

David Waldman is joined by Greg Dworkin and his Raft O' Stories, Polls, and Election Results™. Yay! Ken Paxton won last night! Any candidate Donald K. Trump wants is pretty much who Democrats want. Fraud and sex abuse are becoming planks in the Republican platform. James Talarico invites John Cornyn supporters to vote for him. Most won't, but some will, and their votes count just as well. It is doubtful that many embarrassed Cornyn voters will be voting for Talarico, but he needs all the help he can get. Dems understand this and are aiming for more unity and a bigger tent this go-round. Some get that more than others. Al Green got it but has gotten it long enough. Mysterious Meddlers paid through Gop channels are placing fake Dems in primaries, including Texan Maureen Galindo, who is a lot more MTG than AOC. South Carolina's Gop gerrymander might be too late. Alabama's might be too racist. Neither Trump nor his Supreme Court gives a damn. Trump isn't fooling anyone. Everyone knows he's full of shit. That might make lying to your face even more satisfying really, because he can. Trump emptied the Board of Peace cookie jar while no one was looking, not that it was unexpected. Why bother putting effort into peace if it doesn't put money in his pockets? You might remember being assigned Roots: The Saga of an American Family, the book and miniseries in school. Well, Tennessee schools are able to assign it again!

It's Memorial Day, a contemplative, ruminative, respectful holiday... He's going to either drop nukes or golf today, isn't he? Maybe both? David Waldman and Greg Dworkin reflect upon the holiday, and wax nostalgic on the days that giants strode the halls of congress. Every day is Donald Trump Day for Donald K. Trump. It's easier for him to remember. Donald Trump days will eventually run out though... eventually. They are at least becoming shorter all the time. Therefore, it makes sense for Trump to concentrate on finishing up his bunker. Trump might be the only one who actually believes that this bunker is the only one that he will have available to him. Memorial Day is definitely not the day Trump would want to contemplate his Iran war. Trump would never have had to wage this war if Barack Hussein Obama hadn't committed so much competency. Speaking of competency, that's the one thing CBS would never allow these days or would never allow if anyone competent worked there anymore.

The "Clavicular of Podmaxxers", David Waldman, is joined by Greg Dworkin today in mogging MAGA, amongst others, on today's KITM. Jeffrey Epstein! That is why this is all happening, but don't knock the grift. There's Donald K. Trump's patriotic Jan 6 slush fund grift, the $1.776 billion Looting of America, marked down from $10 billion Just for you… and because Donald couldn't get the $10 billion. $8 billion off, and it's still corruption like nobody's ever seen, and anyhow, he and his boys have plenty of time to pick up the rest. That is, if the rest of the gang doesn't wuss out on him, or the cops don't stop him. Gops might drop Trump's billion-dollar ballroom grift, at least a billion dollars of it. There are still the drone-proof drone empire, and the Trump Presidential Spider Hole to grift. And, the Arch grift, which is as the Founders would have wanted. There is also the Trump-Bibi-Iran War grift, racking up an extra $40,000,000,000.08 In gas so far. David discovered a bargain with E15 gas, which might not be a great bargain in the long haul, but his car will just learn to toughen up in these tough times. Democrats could be in disarray, but so are Republicans, the good news is that Dems are used to it. 90% of the Colorado Democratic Party voted to reprimand Governor Jared Polis. Voters generically like Democrats but specifically dislike Republicans. Once they get to know Dems, they might like them better. Trump wins more, even as more hate him. Voters would prefer the Democrats they don't know over Trump. RIP, Barney Frank, who would have had fun, and would have been fun in today's politics.

It's Wednesday, and unless you're Louisianan or something weird like that, that means election follow up. And election follow up means Greg Dworkin. And Greg Dworkin means pundits get abbreviated and rounded up. This morning, everyone's attention was diverted to The Slush Fund. Everyone was talking about it. Even the big time pols, who are supposed to be talking about such things, but often seem to take days to do so. Not this time! Even Josh Shapiro is on it. Republicans are on it, too. Some of them are hinting that they'll run away from it (i.e., the elected ones), while others (the trolling operatives) are already claiming they've formally applied for a payoff, as unlikely as that is to be true. By the way, does the name in the story ring a bell? He was supposed to have turned over a new leaf in life, but it turns out it's just the same leaf over and over. But after that, it was that elections thing I previously mentioned. They happened in Kentucky, where Thomas Massie found out (though he surely saw it coming) that keeping your 2024 campaign promises that were also Donald Trump's 2024 campaign promises gets you kicked out by Donald Trump in 2026. They also happened in Georgia, where Republicans also found out that preventing Donald Trump from fulfilling 2020 campaign promises didn't help, either. Georgia also reelected nominally Republican state Supreme Court Justices on the 2026 equivalent of the butterfly ballot. Anyhoo... Trump's backing got lots of crazy nutbars through their primaries, but getting through November is another story. This story, to be precise. And they've got data for that. After all that, pretty soon we'll get to see if it's the same story all over again, but in Texas. And keep in mind, Republicans who lose their jobs during Trump's "retribution tour" are now free to do as they please. (Unless they're threatened with murder or whatever.) But they still have to choose to show up to do it. On the Democratic side of the ledger, Jared Polis is pretty sure that eventually, everyone's gonna see his Tina Peters commutation as rainbows and unicorns. But right now, people see it as... well, there could be a horse involved. I guess. Israeli and American war "planners" may have given the reins over to the other end of the horse as well, when they hatched this scheme to bomb Mahmoud "I'm a Dinner Jacket" Ahmadinejad out of "jail" and into the presidency of Iran. It did not work, possibly on account of the bomb.

They let Trump back into the country, so it's Chaos Time again! Greg Dworkin came armed with the usual roundup. As we mentioned last week, we've moved from Special Election season straight into primary season. And we had one over the weekend. Who has primaries on the weekends? Smart people Weirdos! Like Louisianans! But there's more to come on Tuesday, and they're reading the early vote ballot selection tea leaves. Even when it's just a primary, it means something when the ratio of ballots selected shifts toward Democrats every single time. And Georgians have more than usual at stake in what will be, on Tuesday, a final and determinative general (but "non-partisan") election for their Supreme Court, concurrent with primaries for everything else. All of this takes place in the context of record, floor-shattering lows for Trump's own polling. He's losing ground with his base. He's losing ground with his coalition. He's losing ground on his issues. But there are still enough Republican primary voters to turn things his way in these early contests. Not that that doesn't cost him ground, too. Because yes, small though the number may be, recoverable Republicans are in fact changing their minds. The combination–mathematically–has got to be enough. So, about that weekend Chaos I mentioned: Jared Polis has done the dumb thing, and though defenses are being offered, it remains dumb. Also generally chaotic: we may soon be adding motor oil shortages to skyrocketing gas prices. And Kash Patel turns out to have probably literally pissed on the graves of our Pearl Harbor dead, thus proving that there is no bridge too far. Further proof: Trump is ordering the Treasury to fill a sack with taxpayer money and hand it over to him. And though that's pretty chaotic, it is actually OK, because he is demanding a patriotic number of dollars. U-S-A! We also caught up on some pre-weekend Chaos. First, the slow-leaking of Trump's humiliation in China, where he accomplished nothing. Second, more public lands shenanigans. By which I mean the ultra-wealthy grabbing still more public things from out of your hands, in order–mostly–to not even really put them in their own, private hands. They just own them in case they remember at some point that they actually have them, and might like to use them. (or not!) Instead of you.

David Waldman is fighting a cold while fighting the good fight, hell, you got something to fight, he'll fight it. No beef with Greg Dworkin though. That guy is cool. Donald K. Trump is in 'GINA with his most trusted advisors: money. Listening to Xi Jinping talking Thucydides makes a much more restful naptime than listening to Lil' Marco LuLu Rubio. The Trump Iranian war rages because Fetterman is more MAGA than Murkowski. Meanwhile, Ukraine and Denmark make winning wars more accessible for the budget conscious. Generic Democrats are breaking away from generic Republicans in generic ballots, which is great news, as many Democrats are pretty generic. Listen, if people want someone who believes in causes that they will fight for, Hareem Jeffries will look into that, sure. The Trump Counterterrorism Strategy makes protesters Antifa and Antifa terrorists, while LGBT and Q are qualified from birth.

David Waldman welcomes back Greg Dworkin for all the laughs and links: Samuel Alito cited "fudged data", some say "lied", in order to gut voting rights, as if Trump's Supreme Court needed to lie to gut voting rights. Tennessee won't stop with eliminating voting rights for blacks, any rights will do. Now they did it! Dems are angry now, just watch them do… something! Voters are voting Democratic because there is no way it could be worse. In fact, in Nebraska, they voted Dem Cindy Burbank in (over the fake Dem William Forbes) because she promised to drop out to strengthen the Independent candidate Dan Osborn against the Republican Pete Ricketts. In Connecticut, they are voting out the 14-term incumbent, John B. Larson, to put in the "do something" candidate, Luke Bronin. The Donald K. Trump Iran war continues. The only thing Trump hates more than Iranians are Americans. He doesn't hate Iran that much. After all, he destroyed more US missiles than Iranian ones. Does Donald hate the press or women more? Trump is in China on behalf of world peace and has been so busy with plans to cut the world into pieces that he didn't talk to the press for the 20-hour trip over there. There will be plenty of CEOs to talk with, so Xi Jinping might just let Trum nap. Chinese Communist spy and former Arcadia Mayor Eileen Wang probably could have used a ride back to China, after she pled guilty to acting as an illegal foreign agent.

David Waldman is still travelling through California and he's feeling swell! And so can you by visiting our sponsor of sorts, FEELING SWELL! Greg Dworkin returns! He has a Raft O' Stories™ too! (With minimal X-crap) Donald K. Trump is disliked. He is disapproved. He's taking down his Gops heading into the midterms. Trump's approval has hit a record low among his core voters. Just ask them, they'll tell you… before they vote JD Vance in '28. Don't you wish all politics could be just local again? There goes the Voting Rights Act. There go voting rights. Why is there so much confusion about the White House Correspondents Association shooter? Yep, you guessed it. Republicans held it together just long enough to end the DHS shutdown.

Dyngus Day! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin float in with another Raft O' Stories™, swept on the Eastertide. The Trump World War is now entering its third 2 weeks of total triumph. Bombing Iran to the stone age isn't mogging Iran quite enough, however, and Trump has mushroom cloud dreams.  In fact, yesterday Donald renamed the Hormuz Strait the "Fuckin'" Strait and made an Easter day conversion to Islam in preparation for his final day of judgment. Marjorie Taylor Greene knows from crazy, and she's seeing some crazy. Strait traffic is picking up as more countries have been convinced to line up at the toll booths. This might slow but won't stop the biggest oil crisis in history from hitting us all. Pete Hicseth is in the process of culling all officers determined not crusade-ready.  Not everyone is suited to be a holy warrior, sometimes even white guys have to be eliminated. The Justice Department says that Trump doesn't need to hand over his presidential records after he's finished destroying the world. Democrats are winning over the left and "double haters" to claim their future share of the debris. U.S. Marshals waived training rules for Elon Musk's armed DOGE security. Mark Zuckerberg offered to censor Meta users to help DOGE out. Kristi Noem's husband, Bryon Noem, has been reported to have lived a "secret double life" which involves the wearing his not so secret "double D's". Kristi, Bryon, and Corey have been reported to live a secret triple life that rhymes with "fuckin'".

No fooling, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back today! Donald K. Trump has spent a month assembling the biggest, strongest April Fools' joke in history, and will deliver the punchline tonight. Trump is done with Iran and escalating the war and is and is not in talks and has 67,000 US Troops aiming at Kharg and yelling "Hey everybody! We're all gonna get laid!" The base loves that joke… a little less than they used to. Lindsey Graham wants the US out of Spain and is vexed about NATO yet was forever blowing bubbles in the happiest place on earth. Lindsey was having fun and that's what counts... So, Kristi Noem's husband enjoyed bimbofying, and perhaps sitting behind his wife as she was confronted on an internationally renowned affair charge? That might seem a little "cuc…", uhm "yucky" to some, but to each their own!  Don't hate Gregg Phillips because he teleports, hate the flying saucer demons. When you only govern for your base, bad things happen, especially to your polls. Everybody hates Trump. That does not mean that MAGA will vote Dem. Empathy has become so cringe, but it might be time for an earnestness comeback. In a battle of exclamation points, a federal judge halted construction of the golden Escher shack Trump was placing upon his super-secret underground war room. Now it's time to erect the Trump Tower memorial Tower! In the Supreme Court today, justices argue on how to tell Trump "no" to creating an American caste system. The only thing more difficult is trying to describe legal procedure to the hoi polloi and trolls. Karoline Leavitt demands that the ugly picture of her be removed from the internet before Trump sees it… Oh, too late!  Trump is suing himself for $10 billion and they have a good chance of winning. The Jan 6 mob want a piece of whatever's being handed out. The US Army did a ride-by of Kid Rock's house. Good thing that they have such an understanding boss. TSA workers are getting paychecks now, so really who needs Congress?

Is the news really getting dumber and more chaotic every day? There's only one way (that I'm willing) to find out! And that's by re-running our March 31, 2025 episode today. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are were, at the time, back for yet another week of KITM! How do they do it, what is their secret? No one knows! We begin the week with the White House embroiled in scandal. Which scandal? All of them! There's SignalGate, the main culprit of which has been finally determined to be JD Vance, or the news media, or an unspecified Democrat yet to be announced. JD Vance is also guilty of blowing the art of the deal in Greenland. Like Canada, Greenland has a lot to offer in both material and strategic benefits. Just think of the partnerships, alliances, and investments Trump could have potentially made if his first negotiation tactic was ever something other than a pussygrab?  Countries who turned away their pussygrabs get tariffs this Wednesday, or at least more threats of more tariffs. Nothing makes Trump angrier than someone stealing his pickup technique. Don't knock it, the Trump pussygrab has been a success with most of the media, several law firms, and an undisclosed number of SCOTUS. Following many, yet not enough, injunctions from lower-court judges, the Supreme Court has six pending emergency applications from Trump demanding to know "So like…What are we?"   Gops warned Victoria Spartz not to have town halls, but she didn't listen, and conducted a town hall in which she wouldn't listen. For Victoria, if you have to ask for due process, you must not deserve it. Think those masked guys heading your way wouldn't put a bag over your head? Surprise! Democrats will fix this all soon… we just need to get a little bit closer to their mid-term election fundraising drives, ok, please? In contrast, Donald K. Trump is already getting set for his 2028 election, and beyond. Wait a second, doesn't the Constitution prohibit that sort of thing? Where we're going, we don't need Constitutions. France on the other hand, takes these things seriously, but their guillotine must have been on the fritz because Marine Le Pen only received 5 years off from seeking office.

History was made this weekend, and David Waldman WAS THERE!  He might have also been at the third No Kings protest... hard to tell as there were a lot of people at them. Greg Dworkin monitored those, and many other situations over the weekend. Trump's Iran War is going well, for the doomsday bunker industry, missile R&D facilities, military aircraft body shops, and boot manufacturers. Most everyone else, however, not so much. Donald K. Trump promises to strongly win the war again and change the regimes several more times until Iran finally agrees to lose the war. Iran is set to release more reality TV episodes of its popular Kash Patel Show. Vlad Putin doesn't mind Trump in Iran but had Donald step aside in Cuba. Eh, Trump didn't really mean all that Cuba regime change nonsense anyhow. He'd rather negotiate Sharpie prices to $5 with big strong men with tears in their eyes. Those pens will come in handy when the new dollar bills come out. Sure, the White House Ballroom is an ill thought out, poorly designed disaster, Trump is in charge of it. The important part is the super-secret facility beneath the $400 million facade of a ballroom. How predictive are special elections? What if we take into consideration Democrats' generic ballot underperformance, and the GOP's midterm convention? What if we take into consideration this reality? The Russian accused of being the mastermind behind the Magnitsky Case (a mind-bogging, multi-million-dollar tax-and-fraud case that led to the death of Sergei Magnitsky in a Moscow prison, and a sweeping US sanction law) will be on trial in Paris this week (in absentia). The DHS shutdown has been a month and a half, so now Trump has decided that it's an emergency and will pay TSA workers. That, like absolutely everything Trump does, is illegal only if anyone cares to make it so. How many ICE detainees died recently? I don't know, I don't follow sports.

Feeling Thor today? David Waldman and Greg Dworkin apply the balm of their KITM wit and wisdom. Every morning, Donald K. Trump is shown a two-minute video of Iranian things blowing up, which could explain why Trump believes that the US has totally won, or that Iran is totally obliterated each day… or he could just be pulling it out his ass. Is Trump an idiot? Crazy? Full of crap? Gops sane-wash Trump by saying whatever Trump says is true because he says it. Dems insane-wash Trump by feeling there must be some kernel of truth buried in all that gibberish. Why can't we just place Trump on a curve with "deranged" on one end and "lying" on the other and simply skip the third axis? Have you ever heard the story of the paper clip? Well, actually, the paper clip was invented 134 years ago, not 182 as Trump… Now I'm doing it! To be on the safe side, Mike Johnson arranged for Trump to be given periodic trophies. Pete Hicseth is a true believer, unfortunately for him, his boss never was. It looks like DC will need to Uber their Easter Bunny in this year as the Department of Homeland Security shutdown talks go nowhere. Sending ICE to airports isn't working for anything other than to provide their mugshots for databases, too bad the 82nd Airborne is busy. The Republican collapse has begun — and Trump is leading it. Trump's disapproval numbers are high, like no one has seen before. His approval numbers on the other hand are dying, like a dog. Among white non-college men, Trump is not so high value anymore. Here comes another election, in Maine, and it's looking good for the oyster farmer. Republicans take Democrats violating ethic rules almost as bad as Democrats do. Republicans hate Democratic gerrymandering as almost as much as they hate their own… nah, they don't mind theirs at all.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin share their latest Raft O' Stories in a valiant effort to calm us TF down. World War Trump rages on… and TACOs… and rages and TACOs… You can pretty much set your watch by it. Donald K. Trump steadfastly maintains his principle of "What's in it for Trump?" but has yet to realize that retreat is his only path forward. Gerald R Ford heads for the exit. Japan pulls up to the toll gate and is waved through. Trump loses Oath Keepers founder Stewart Rhodes support and with him possibly the entire eyepatched villain voting bloc. Speaking of retreat, Dems have Gops on their heels with DHS funding. Reconciliation worked for Republicans that time, so can't it work every time? The Senate will be voting on cloture on a motion to suspend rule XXV to make in order a motion to refer the House message on the legislative vehicle for the SAVE America Act to the Rules and Administration Committee with instructions to consider legislation funding TSA, and if you think that's tough for you to understand, imagine how tough it is for Senator John Kennedy, who has enough to worry about with those commies at the Blooski. It usually takes a while and a couple of deaths to get Trump's attention, and unfortunately that's what happened with the DHS and the TSA. Just as Elon Musk was about to pretend to go for his wallet, here comes ICE to the rescue! Donald and Melania pal Paolo Zampolli wanted his and Jeffrey's ex, Amanda Ungaro deported, allegedly.   Trump breaking the economy and blowing billions on a war does not feel like a well thought out strategy heading into the midterms, but at least MAGA still loves him. That might not seem like enough to win an election, but who was talking about "win"? Joe Kent quit because he'd rather crusade against Jews. Trump doesn't see much wrong with that but is offended that Kent has remarried.  Other top-of-the-line professionals surrounding Trump include Richard Grenell, who had no arts administration experience prior to his Kennedy Center appointment and somehow now has even less. Dick should contact Gregg Phillips, head of FEMA's Office of Response and Recovery and teleport far away.

Once again, David Waldman attempts to cram it all into two hours, and mostly succeeds. Greg Dworkin knows a worse place than the Persian Gulf, and he keeps going there for links. Out in the Gulf, the Kushner Wars rage on. Israel hit the South Pars gas field, Iran aimed at the Saudi port of Yanbu, and Donald K. Trump will blow them all up if they don't learn to play together. You know that Trump approved of Israel's attack, and so does Dan Shapiro, who frankly knows more than you and me. The Middle East heads into an all-out energy war, while the US FAFOs that fighting cheap drones can get pretty expensive. Denmark breathes a sigh of relief as their decapitation strike is postponed by several months. Oil goes way up. Gasoline goes way up. Health care, education, etc. goes way up. The national debt goes way up. Job creation is zero.  All of this could motivate voters in the midterms. Dems could fix things, if Trump lets them, and MAGA lets Trump, and November is just so far away. Markwayne Gacy Mullin is a clown. Mullin has pretended to be more things than Kristi Noem. Never has war smelled so fishy than when Markwayne recollects it. Markwayne is also a very angry clown. Unfortunately, every Congress has that one Democrat, and this one gets John Fetterman. Oh no! Say it isn't so! Cesar Chavez has been alleged to be a sex abuser and rapist as well as a civil rights icon. Panicky Dems across the nation embrace this new panic, while MAGA wonders if maybe they should install a statue to him now. Who says government moves slow? Joe Kent receives an FBI investigation within a business week from resignation.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have been monitoring the various situations as always, and are ready to report, as always. Yesterday in elections was another good one for Dems, not so much for AI and Crypto bros. The Illinois Democratic Senate primary saw record turnout and JB Pritzker saw results, with Lt. Gov. Juliana Stratton's U.S. Senate primary win. Donald K. Trump loves catfights and gets one in Texas, with John Cornyn and Ken Paxton fighting for God's endorsement. Don't expect God's blessing for the Trump-Israeli Iran war. The countries under Trump's tariffs, i.e. the world, should not be expected to be supportive, as Trump's trading of about a century of soft power hegemony for a future of perpetual intimidation now seems ill-considered. Iran controls the Strait of Hormuz which is pretty good for a country that lost the war a week ago… Thanks Trump! Don't worry, the war will only hurt "the consumers" in the US, and who is that? If consumers get a chance to vote in the midterms, things could change. Kristi Noem's proposed replacement Markwayne Mullin is just as dumb, just the faker, and almost as hated, right out of the gate. The United States lost to Venezuela, in baseball, and were such sore silver medal winners that they would rather cosplay as hockey players than gracefully accept second place.

David Waldman celebrates our return on Monday the 16th after cutting up all weekend. Greg Dworkin asks, what have we done? Really? Is that the rule? Is that the goal now? We are about sick of winning and winning and winning our massive multiplayer war with Iran and just about everyone else in the world, though for some reason as our hit points go up, our health bar continues to shrink. The problem is those kind might not understand that they've lost until the mainstream media agrees to broadcast our victory dances. How many years will we have to win this thing before the world envies Trump as completely as he requires? Some suggest nukes are in order, yet few agree on where to drop them. Trump's domestic war of vengeance is going about as well, as grand juries keep refusing to charge those that the DOJ are targeting. Pete Hegseth's Fox drinking buddy Jeanine Pirro persecutes 90% of those in her path, it's not her fault no one wants to join in. On the other hand, Trump defense attorney John Lauro is sad about everyone treating his boss like a crook. What made Minnesota such a target, and what makes it a solution? Everyone should take notes. What lessons can we learn from last Tuesday's Texas primary? A New Jersey Republican is running against Trump. Democrats might get the courage to run against Bibi. It's an easy decision to run against tariffs. Jared Qushnar adds his own hustle to Middle East peace talks once he figured out that their peace was getting in the way of his profit.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here to tell you much more about many more things. The Trumpiranian war continues… Not an "incursion" … an "excursion". Not a "quagmire", more of a "junket" of the sunny gulf. Not a "plan", "strategy," "policy," or "doctrine" …  more of an… uhm… Donald K. Trump has always loved the straits, but lately they've become very nasty. Sad! Trump wants the tanker captains to just floor it and knock the blockades aside, but neither they nor the US Navy can be expected to show Trump bravery under pressure. Bahrain has to hire freelancers to crush their dissidents. Back around here, Gops approach the midterms with a doomed play for unity, while Latinos show everyone how it's done in Texas. A DOGE bro deposition demonstrates how handy AI is for lazy racists without moral guardrails. Meanwhile, Kash Patel outsources FBI training to UFC fighters. Jeffreeeeey Epsteeeeeeein! while we were watching people and things blowing up real good, new Trump-Epstein files were released, they are as bad as you'd expect, they're verifiable, and there is a money trail.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin take podmaxxing to the extreme, naturally the good extreme, on today's KITM. Greg reminds us that you can't treat responses from a fabulist president as serious answers… as referenced in the leading source of internet misinformation. Eh, if the posts are backed up on Blue Sky, they're probably good to go.  Of course, you wouldn't expect more accuracy if the info came straight from this administration, because what would they know? Everyone's favorite war, Iran, continues. Merchant ships are hesitant to sail into the Strait of Hormuz, because they are afraid that they might blow up, because Iran has said that they will blow them up and the US says they won't be escorting them because they might blow up.  Donald K. Trump says, Wait, what? Who's afraid of a bomb or two? His guys say the water's great, dive in! There can't be that many Khameinis left anymore, anyhow, and his boy J' red El Qush Nar has prime beachfront property to be developed as soon as his Grok figures out all the nuclear stuff. Republicans still like the war, but Americans do not. The new prices will make fewer admit that they are Republicans. Democrats will still tell you that they are moderate, when they are not. More elections flip, and more to come. Have we reached peak antisemitism-ism? Will anyone new from the Epstein files ever go to jail? Can Ed Martin be more of a contemptible contemptuous contemnor? John Cornyn, a long supporter of whatever, is now vehemently against it. She-Wolf of the DOJ, Pam Bondi, is evacuated to a secure bunker as forces of justice close in.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back to fight Trump chaos with their chaos. Like a lot of people right now floating outside Tehran and Basra, Singer-songwriter Country Joe McDonald was an enlisted Navy sailor. Like a lot of people right now, he gave an F-U-C-K about what we were doing, and now, sadly, whoopee, we are gonna do it again. The guy who cares the least about what we are fighting for is Donald K. Trump, as both problems and solutions make him equally angry. At least no new pronunciation guides will be needed for Iran's leadership, nor will anyone need to adjust their governance or diplomacy theories. Not that the US is expected to take into consideration… anything. We'll just commit our war crimes and be shocked when Iran commits theirs. Thousands are stranded in the area unless they're mogging with sufficient rizz... Polling indicates that Trump could neither mog nor rizz himself out of a paper bag. James Talarico can, however, and at almost Mamdaniesque levels… plus, James has JESUS. Take that MAGA! Trump should consider a nice track suit to match his hat the next time he attends the transfer of killed US service members. Ok, the DHS kidnaps, tortures, and kills a few people, but they'd never get in the way of spring break.  The President feels their pain but refuses to sign any bill until Congress passes his anti-voting anti-trans act and gives him three scoops of ice cream. A woman born in the US has her immigration status put under review. She-Wolf of the DOJ, Pam Bondi announces that state bar associations can't investigate misconduct by lawyers but hasn't figured out a way to keep Congress from investigating her misconduct. Meanwhile, this administration still holds a grudge for Cassidy Hutchinson and if they can't lock anyone else up, she might have to do.

David Waldman, Greg Dworkin, and we are back for more. Pete Hic-seth promised Iran that the US would never fight fair, no stupid rules of engagement for us! Just ask the few surviving sailors on the Iranian warship IRIS Dena, sunk by torpedo, unarmed, returning from "professional exercises, seminars, social events and sporting fixtures" with India. If Iran wants the US to "bitterly regret" this, or anything that they are doing, they will need to ask themselves, "What would Pete Do?" Would Hegseth take out Gulf area desalination plants, endangering tens of millions of civilians? Pete doesn't even drink water, bro. This looks like a job for the Board of Peace! Paramount won't say whether Middle East money is funding its Warner Bros. Discovery deal., but the UAE never promised to fight fair either. And yet, the majority of Americans want a short war with no boots on the ground… Blah, blah, blah! Americans are so picky! Texas seems to be feeling a bit blue lately. Texas Dems are fired up and fired up about James Talarico. Jasmine Crockett did great for someone who did it so bad, but Talarico offered both style and substance, attaining Zohran Mamdanimentum. Anyone who doesn't do that won't make it out of their primaries. Gops have long ago learned how to deal with pesky primaries. Listen, if Donald K. Trump gets rid of Kristi Noem will you all leave him alone? What if he throws in Pam Bondi? Karoline Leavitt? No dudes leave though. That's too far.

David Waldman delivers us to the middle of the week, which is pretty good, considering the week so far. Greg Dworkin, a nice guy who can always be trusted, delivers a paradoxical raft o' stories out of ExTwitter, an awful place that can never be trusted. Yesterday, we had primary elections in Texas, North Carolina and Arkansas, the first elections of the 2026 midterm campaigns.  Jasmine Crockett and James Talarico are both fantastic, but James Talarico will now be the fantastic Democratic candidate. Trump has to pick the winner from his losers. We won't have Dan Crenshaw to kick around anymore, but neither will Mike Johnson. Democratic voters in Texas were left to wander around, looking for their precinct which is just how Gops wanted it. For something that was designed to finally completely strangle Jeffrey Epstein, permanently rig democracy, and usher in the Millennial Kingdom of Christ on earth, this whole "Iran war" thing is becoming a little too complex for Donald K. Trump. Iran is breaking our expensive stuff, worrying our rich people and hardly being cooperative. (And killing some soldiers.)  It is also very confusing because we are not at war with Iran, while they have been at war with us for decades… Everything is moving so fast! At least we got all the important people out. The few thousand in business class stranded there dumb enough to rely on the US to get them out can leave a message with details on how they would like their bodies to be IDed.  Colorado Governor Jared Polis is probably going to taco (jaco? paco?) on Tina Peters' state prison time. The DOJ will lay off targeting law firms that Trump doesn't like… psyche! They're totally still targeting the law firms.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin start off a whole new month trying to make sense of this crap! Who had us bombing Iran over the weekend? Probably a few of us, including billionaire refugees and TikTok influencers. Operation Epic Furry threatens the straights of Hormuz, as the US joins Israel in killing Iranians. Someone had the brilliant idea to bomb a staff meeting, decapitating not just Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei, age 86 (not to be confused with Ayatollah Khomeini, age 124) ... plus anyone else we'd want to negotiate with. (Maybe Ilhan Omar is available? Zohran Mamdani?) This might have put a hitch in your typical administration's plans, but it can't if that administration never plans, can it? Sure, they said "no war with Iran", therefore, there is no war with Iran, because first of all, that would be illegal. Second, people expect you to "win" wars, and that's just not going to happen. And most importantly, voters don't want this war, so who in their right mind would start one now? Kuwait friendly fires upon US jets, while Spain isn't friendly at all. Which brings us to the 2026 midterms, which some still believe are happening! Donald K. Trump is not considering a takeover, just like he wasn't considering Project 2025. Oh well, if mistakes happen, just sue them. Iran almost pushed Jeffrey Epstein out of the news. Jeff paid doctors for procedures ranging from unethical to unspeakable.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin brave frigid temperatures with a combination of comfy slippers and raw determination to bring us this latest special KITM:  About the only thing worse than a Trump State of the Union speech is having to take it seriously the next day. Stupid, boring, lying Donald K. Trump said stupid, boring, lies for a couple of hours. Today, Dems have to pretend that there is something interesting about that. There wasn't anything to interest voters. There wasn't much to interest Republicans, as even racism and fearmongering can only go so far. There is a reason why Trump rallies empty out after a half hour, but most needlessly felt some obligation to stick around, if they couldn't manage to earn an ejection. Another reason Trump's State of the Union sucked is because Trump's state of the union sucks. This might matter to midterm voters, one would hope. Special elections sure portend well. The DOJ tried to take Trump out of the Trump-Epstein files and of course managed to get even more attention. Contempt sanctions go against the DOJ today for moving a man out of Minnesota against an order, not releasing him under the timeline ordered, and not returning him to Minnesota. Beta Pete Hegseth wants to be humiliated by alpha Mark Kelly again. Does Pete even lift, bro? Beta Kash Patel finally got to discover what testosterone looks like in the Olympic locker room. Trump was allowed to sniff their medal too. Allowing Kash, Donald, and Pete's fantasies to play out is the highest priority use of military equipment at the moment. Attorney General Brian Schwalb said that Congress didn't actually repeal the D.C. tax bill. Congress and paperwork, man!

David Waldman will continue his boycott of State of the Union speeches and snow until Greg Dworkin is returned to us safely. There will be a SOTU tonight, maybe. No one will be watching, so it's hard to be certain. Abigail Spanberger says she is, but who could blame her if she zoned out for most of it. More people than ever don't want to hear what Donald K. Trump has to say. Even Trump's imaginary supporters are fading away. Proud racists are getting more difficult to find. The US Men's Hockey Team will be there, but that's because they are being made to. The Women's Team was let off the hook. The men will be honored with Trump AI highlight clips and individual SOTU lap dances from Kash Patel. Trump has a few hours to fill, so tariffs might come up, all of it unpleasant, and absolutely nothing about anyone getting a refund. What else is he going to talk about? Greenland? Cannibals? He could declare a war or two. Maybe a pardon or two. Trump probably won't talk much about Jeffrey Epstein, Ghislaine Maxwell and art school girls, DOJ and FBI coverups, but correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor has a lot to report!  Jared's dad, Charles Kushner, is ignoring French summons and would like to stay on the down-low, so expect Trump to flub that.

David Waldman goes it alone as Nor'easter bomb cycloned Greg Dworkin is up to his Connecticut mukluks in a local weather situation. Following Friday's Supreme Court tariffs decision, Donald K. Trump tariffed everyone 10% for laughing at him, then raised it to 15% to prove he's serious. He'll keep doing it too, until everyone understands who's in charge and quits plotting against him… It's those people who "support him" who are really out to get him… do they think he's a fool? Punish those who made deals, reward those he punished!  Call him insane, will they? Send a hospital ship to Greenland! Trump imposters fail to keep up with Trump's rapidly deteriorating diction and syntax. Chuck Schumer pretends to grill burgers MAHA-style. Another disillusioned MAGA bites the dust. Just The News isn't just the news, and even Trump knows it. How does Lindsey Halligan not do it? No one will ever replace her. Instead of raising bail, the rich raise pardon money. Kash Patel trashed his reputation and that of the FBI because he is as big a fan of Olympic hockey as he is his girlfriend's singing career.

David Waldman counts down to the weekend, when we can all kick back, relax, and be incinerated in man-made hellfire…. but don't forget Friday's show! The law must take its course, as even His Majesty the King will tell you, no one is above the law, not even his very own brother, Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor. If only we had the moral rectitude of our forbearers, yet we invent new unaccountable elites every day. Still, around the world executives resign from companies as if they were ungrateful that Jeff made them who they are today. We could've handled it like Great Briton. We could've handled it like South Korea. We could've handled it like Brazil. Greg Dworkin culls the shiniest kernels out of his Ex-Twitter turd to share today. Democrats are job creators. House members get out while the getting's good. James Talarico is hot, hot, hot!  Gop Texans self-immolate.  Kristi Noem diverted a Coast Guard aircraft from an active search and rescue mission in order to transport detained migrants rather than share her double bidet. Stephen Miller, however, shows no inclination in retiring to spend more time in Hell. A Federal judge has finally found a DOJ lawyer in contempt. Judges have rebuked Trump's mass detention of immigrants thousands of times, encouraging him to do worse, faster. Keep alert to any stormtrooper activity at all times. Donald K. Trump sure can destroy a lot of real lives with powers that are mostly in your imagination.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin cut through the confusion and clamp down on the chaos for a tidbit of today. Hey, do you know who the guest was on The Late Show with Steven Colbert? Sure, you do, yet you can't say that very often, can you? That's because that guest, James Talarico, Democratic candidate for Senate, was given a huge promotional lift by Brendan Carr, Donald K. Trump, and a panicked herd of frightened lawyers, who say that they didn't want to make Jasmine Crockett mad. Jasmine Crockett isn't mad. This Blue Wave is raising all Dem boats. Just talk about the SAVE act is encouraging voter suppression, and spurring plans for new voter suppression. Don't let it get to you but do pay attention. Our generics beat their generics. Zohran Mamdani is the most popular Democrat. Donald's pal Jeffrey Epstein led a global criminal enterprise, creating crimes against humanity. Kristi Noem scuttles the Coast Guard. We kill boaters while cocaine booms, while the guy responsible for shipping 400 tons to the US gets all expenses paid vacation to the Waldorf Astoria. Federal Judges can hardly believe the administration's lawlessness, as they have ruled over 4400 times that ICE detentions were illegal. Trump is getting sick of all of the winning… must be why he hasn't been golfing lately. Hope nothing's wrong with the old boy.

David Waldman delivers another KITM under the cloud™ of a mass shooting... a Canadian cloud, but as gloomy and awful as the ones we produce. Greg Dworkin popped in, but soon buckled under an ice onslaught, or at least his internet did. The other, more toxic ICE Is spreading across the US, along with their concentration camps. They are thugs and pansies. The FAA closed the airspace over El Paso for 10 days, ok, maybe not, nothing to see here, move along. Howard Lutnick confused Epstein Island with 6 Flags. Bipartisan nausea over the Trump-Epstein files has the mop & bleach crews working overtime, except for Karoline Leavitt, who only wants fun questions from now on. Peter Thiel wasn't there for the girls. The House has voted to take whacks at Trump's tariffs as if they were a piñata. Tariffs remain one of the best methods of tracking Donald K. Trump's dementia. Trump says it's time for traffic problems on the Gordie Howe Bridge, while tariffing the imaginary prime minister of Switzerland's attitude. None of the 6 Democrats who Trump ordered killed have been executed. In fact, none of them have been indicted.  Oklahoma's State House District 35 Special Election flipped Dem… by 75 points. Trump's job approval is so low that Gallup has given up trying to even measure it. Georgia ballot inquiry originated with an election denier who of course became an election integrity officer. Roger Stone returns for 2026.

David Waldman has a million things to tell you today… and almost does. Elon Musk's "X" Paris office has been raided. France, United Kingdom and Spain are charging Ex-Twitter of algorithmic manipulation and the distribution of child sexual abuse content. Hey, it's not a crime to hang out with pedophile content providers, is it? Greg Dworkin is there all the time in fact, mostly on assignment, of course. For example, polling. You just can't find that anywhere else. Polling shows that people are beginning to miss Joe and want Stephen Miller and Kristi Noem to go away. White non-college folks are even drifting away. Gops now wonder if they kicked around Latinos maybe a bit too much. Republicans are presently so hated that Democrats are actually beginning to look good to voters. Indeed, Dems might even be considered to be better than the lesser of two evils heading into the midterms. Democrats still have 9 months to ruin things, which is plenty of time. The House shut down the partial shutdown, except for DHS funding, as Gop John Rose likes them young and is the one vote margin.  ICE asks if you and whose army will make them unmask, ID themselves, and generally follow the Constitution, but first, you'll have to figure out who they are. Marimar Martinez was shot 7 times with 5 bullets, making her the bullet hole pin-up of the DHS. Slaughter of innocents may seem passé at the moment, but the feds still have their ways. Judges complain that so many of them enjoy being petty dangerous bullies, that there is hardly anyone left to do the paperwork.

Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today! That's right, woodchuck-chuckers - it's Groundhog's Day! And the big question on David Waldman and Greg Dworkin's lips... on their chapped lips, is…  About half of the Epstein files have been released, and wow they are gross. Now half of them are gone because they weren't quite redacted yet. Epstein Island, or thereabouts, was the place for the elite to meet, from Elon Musk down to... Igor… who could be this Igor or that Igor but was most likely one of this guy's Igors. Will there be a Blue Wave? There is definitely a blue swing, and one giant blue swing in Texas. Taylor Rehmet flipped a state Senate seat by 17 points, a 32 point swing, a BFD big enough to push her well-funded opponent, Leigh Wambsganns, right out of Trump's mind. Gops turned out for the election, they just turned out to not like Trump anymore. Donald K. Trump hasn't a chance of getting these voters back, but that doesn't matter if there is no voting. Minneapolis is being pushed out of the news, but ICE hasn't been pushed out, and its economic embargo is destroying the lives of all the residents. Two Latino gang members shot a white man down on the street recently, but lately the gang has moved to indiscriminate use of chemical agents in the towns that they menace. What kind of chemicals? They don't know and they don't care. If anyone complains, there's always biowarfare.  Trump might not be the biggest crook in the world, but he's the biggest in a democracy, at least in what's left of one. Nancy Mace is giving him a run on who's the craziest.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin sift through the latest fallout. Is today the day Donald K. Trump became president? Nope. That pivot you are seeing is a tailspin. A death spiral that Trump can't insult, distract, nor kill himself out of.  Killing people isn't good politics, because murder wakes up the vast sleepy middle. Trump's immigration approval drops to record low… wow, ya think? Trump tires of alienating the off-white and moves on to gun nuts. All the cool kids want to abolish ICE now. Being on the right side of history is good politics, eventually.  Two special Minnesota House races were won by Democratic contenders, in a big way... hallelujah! Virginia Governor Abigail Spanberger runs out of bubblegum on Day One. Back over on the wrong side of history, Kristi Noem was just following orders… Stephen Miller's orders. Stephen vows to not go to the gallows alone. Meanwhile, ICE uses long-range sonic weapons, point blank, at protesters. ICE'S striving to be international pains in asses. Chained PAX are not safe 02/EVAC. Ilhan Omar was attacked by a far-right extremist "piece of sh*t" racist… no, not Trump, but definitely a kindred spirit. Days earlier, Representative Maxwell Frost was physically assaulted by a bigoted lunatic, again not Trump, although Trump's voice does speak in a lot of crazy heads.  The Pentagon is temporarily removing the bomb vending machine from their food court. Usha Vance has been successfully impregnated, purportedly by blasphemous idolator JD Vance. Avid moviegoers are rushing to avoid the smash non-hit Melania, the must-miss movie of the season!

Let's gather around and warm ourselves on the glow of David Waldman and Greg Dworkin's wit and punditry. We remain under the cloud of a continuing mass shooting, or perhaps the unofficial public execution of dissidents to the Trump regime. Tomato, tomahto. The official line was much less accurate to that but always has the benefit of coming out first and loudest. "The good guy had a gun, so he was asking for it." argument is wearing thin, as typical person-on-the-street Marjorie Taylor Greene can attest. Gops understand the huge difference between now and Jan 6, and that's in the deadliness of the polling. In this case, they are calling for an investigation and might not even destroy any evidence. What can be done to stop this? Thoughts and prayers can get you arrested, but interrupting thoughts and prayers might not get you indicted. Only the National Guard have enough firepower to show empathy. Democrats strongly call to restrain, reform, restrict and continue to apply alliteration until Republicans submit. They might pull some purse strings also, which might be of some help if those strings reached to Qatar. James Comer throws Trump a TACO lifeline. But Donald is already way ahead of him, throwing Kristi Noem under the bus, installing her un-botoxed twin Tom Holman, Zohran Mamdaning Tim Walz, and declaring victory/retreat. Meanwhile, Minnesota Governor contender Chris Madel throws some smoke bombs of his own and disappears. 

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin give us a thing or two to consider. Babbling dotard Donald K. Trump triumphantly returns to the US following his conquest of Iceland and bestowing upon us an eternal reign of peace. Voters don't like Trump. Voters really don't like Trump. Trump dngaf. Trump has one set of voters that he cares about, and he takes care of them. The rest can go to Hell, and rest assured, Donald has plans underway to bring Hell to the US. ICE aren't peace officers. ICE aren't police officers. ICE is not an immigration enforcement agency. ICE is an organized crime syndicate. ICE is a roving street gang with millions in public relations, and government protection. Matt Gaetz is allowed to do what he wants as long as he doesn't rape kids in court. A New York judge ruled a Gop district there is unconstitutional, but Gop Dan Goldman is screwed either way. RIP Abby.

David Waldman wishes a merry and fulfilling Squirrel Appreciation Day, to those who observe. Greg Dworkin reaches into the anus of the universe and squeezes out more polling to share. There's always room for improvement when it comes to how to respond to madness. Trump ducked another bullet to arrive in Davos last night. Stupid demented degenerate megalomaniac Donald K. Trump vowed that there is no need for him to kill again, as long as everyone complies… except for Greenland, or maybe Iceland… and France… and Svalbard. They had better watch their backs. ICE are not rogue cops. They are good soldiers, just not your army. Demoralization and attrition aren't accidental; they are the objective. Resistance is not enough. Hate has an ever-broadening appeal. Her Excellency, Abigail Spanberger issued an executive order un-deputizing Virginia state police from being ICE lackeys. Dem Garrett McGuire has been specially elected to replace Mark Sickles who is now the new secretary of finance. How did Lindsey Halligan not do it? Federal judges count the ways. Halligan remains wrong till the bitter end.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back and podding harder than ever. Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Ish Kabibble's birthday, and National False Equivalency Day. So, who thought that giving Donald K. Trump a free Noble prize would placate him? It did not, as acquiesce only makes him angrier. Now Trump will take revenge against the Nobel Prize Committee in Norway by taking Greenland from Denmark. The world isn't laughing anymore, especially not at Billy Long joking about throwing Iceland in on the deal. Bernie Sanders trips over his own shtick. Back at home, most people hate everything that Trump is doing, because most people are sane. Bipartisan agreement between sane and insane can be found on the release of the Epstein files. People oppose ICE when the only thing keeping everyone from being shot are Donald's morals, which leaked out long before half of his brains did. Columbia University graduate Mahmoud Khalil might be rearrested as the law is rearranged to disfavor him. How does Lindsey Halligan not do it? Lindsey remains an attorney no matter what the law says, because the law is irrelevant to this administration.  Stinkiest human windfarm, Donald pardons the worst crap, as often as it pleases him, or makes others angry, he doesn't put much thought into it. Trump endorses a candidate who is not yet running against her opponent, who is an incumbent who usually supports him. Good news! Virginia welcomes Her Excellency, Governor Abigail Spanberger, already making state colleges and universities smarter. The state is also redistricting, in the good direction. Bad news! Anything being produced by Bari Weiss, and OG bad news, Fox News.

David Waldman returns for The Final Episode of KITM… Or maybe that's tomorrow? Let's just take this one day at a time. Greg Dworkin returns from the world-leading source of AI-assisted undressing, somehow fully clothed, but with new polling on the Texas Senate primaries. Support for ICE'S collapsing, as they break laws and crack heads around Minneapolis and elsewhere. ICE'S optics are bad when they are never good... and always evil. Mayor Jacob Frey's forces are outnumbered. Tim Walz wants more witnesses. Todd Blanche wants Walz and Frey in Cecot. Ritchie Torres wants fast self-serve checkout. Gop wannabe Bruce Blakeman wants the opposite of whatever Kathy Hochul wants. All ICE wants are to be big men with big paychecks, and they will come up short on both. It would hurt more if they had to put time and effort into their jobs, which obviously they don't. ICE is leaving victims' cars on the road for people to collect, but also their own cars, and munitions. Hey! The DHS claims that Jonathan Ross is bleeding from his whatever, so there! They aren't the only dummies! The Gop House sent the wrong Obamacare bill to the Senate, because you know they have been so busy lately. And of course, homogenized ass-whole Donald K. Trump would destroy the world if only he could stay awake long enough. Pop-up nuclear reactors should get the apocalypse out of the way soon. Mini reactors are brought to you by those safety-minded folks in Russia, and Jeffrey Epstein!

Due to recent levels of chaos and insanity in the news, today's Whiskey Wednesday KITM with David Waldman will be followed this week by Meth Thursday and Freebase Friday. While hanging around the world clearinghouse for sexual deepfakes and child exploitation images, Greg Dworkin discovered several positive polling shifts for the Democratic party.  Just about everyone has seen Renee Good murdered. Most of them believe that ICE should not have murdered her. Most believe that ICE gunmen should be prosecuted and their reign of terror should end.  Most people are not MAGA. Everyone knows Good was murdered. It's just that some people like murder and want to see more of it. Joe Rogan isn't catering to those people. JD Vance absolutely is. The expected "She was no angel" smears are being replaced with lynch mobs, while six Fed prosecutors quit rather than persecute-prosecute Renee's widow. 20,000 lone gunmen might be in your town tonight. If only Jerome Powell complied, his tragedy might have been averted. The imperial boomerang returns to take out native people, again.  The bad news is, the weaker Trump becomes, the more dangerous he becomes. The good news is, all of this bad news is because Trump is becoming weaker. Trump can't save Tony Dokoupil but can take credit for him. Gops team up to kill Gop bills.  Republicans always knew Donald K. Trump was crazy. Chuck Schumer may end up looking like a genius. Scott Adams remains dead but will never have worms.

David Waldman cheerfully returns with another KITM, even after Amy Poehler stole his award. Greg Dworkin reports on some polling that he found on a porn site. That's the good news. The rest of it, and there is a lot of it, is pretty bad. The good news would be if all this bad news will lead to a turning point. We got to bottom out sometime! ICE'S enough to make anybody cuss, and it is probably time to think of worse curse words to describe what's going on. Everybody is trying to figure how to handle ICE, but their whole point letting everyone know they can't be handled. Might means right is their message, even when they play the victim. That is how they can make this woman into a trained assassin. In fact, that is how they make any woman into both an existential threat and an easy target. Hey-Oh, we won't be silent while our friends are gunned down. Gaseous dotard Donald K. Trump somehow rules America with fear and is tearing apart the world. He's an easily duped moron who would be happy to destroy the world tomorrow if he knew humankind's final moments would be spent envying him. Today's target, as suggested by Machiavellian cretin Bill Pulte, is Federal Reserve Chair Jerome H. Powell. Tomorrow's target is the CEO of ExxonMobil.  Governor Jared Polis of Colorado is cowed. The Washington National Opera is not. Former Representative Mary Peltola is bringing the good fight to the Alaska Senate race. RIP Bob Weir, the late great Grateful Dead founding member.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin don't need a hastily prepared PVC pipe and black draped tent to deliver the action KITM listeners crave.  Today's apocalyptic earth-shattering black-swan event is the abduction of the President of Venezuela, Nicolás Maduro. Nobody is really certain why we did it. Maybe Maduro is involved with Jeffrey Epstein, or the Nobel Prize committee? Maybe he just wanted to piss off Marjorie Taylor Green one last time? Maybe war with Venezuela was a campaign promise? Did a tariff payment check bounce? You know, Maduro was asking for it… a lot of people are asking for it... One thing is certain. It sure is fun to watch stuff blow up. Trump wanted Zero Dark Thirty and Delta Force delivered. Delivered clicks, that is, and what's more important than that? Everybody's wondering, "Where does this franchise go from here?" The possibilities are endless, but time is of the essence, as cheap overseas knockoffs are already in the works. Now, you are probably asking yourself, "Hey, remember Venezuela? What's happening with those guys?" Well, that's yesterday's news. Somebody down there surely has a handle on it. Marco or Stephen will check in later this week to look in on them or something. Right now, it's doing everything Trump needs it to.  If not, someone should expect to see a nasty email or drone arrive soon with their name on it. Of course, all of this is perfectly legal. In fact, it is illegal to say that it is illegal, that's how legal it is. Meanwhile, let's pretend that we still have a democracy. Tim Walz is taking time off from being an assassination target to spend more time with his family, opening the door for Amy Klobuchar to run for Governor. Amy has been preparing for this moment. California also still exists, and Matt Ortega is running for election to the U.S. House to represent California's 14th Congressional District. 

My mind was rarin' to go again today, but the rest of me wasn't having it. The smart thing to do was to use the Black Hole Week down time to answer a question the last couple of re-runs might have put you in mind of: What the hell did KITM sound like on January 7, 2026? Well, now you'll know! And if you'd like a preview, here's Scott Anderson's summary of that fateful day… after the actual fateful day. David Waldman, broadcasting from the center of our vast KITM World Headquarters, phones Greg Dworkin down in the laundry room, to discuss all that happened yesterday: Did you read my summary yesterday? No? Well, I don't blame you. Yesterday was pretty crazy. Yesterday, I was certain Trumpers would be no challenge to Capitol police. The day before, I thought even the idea of an assault on the House chamber to be an outlandish joke. Imagine my surprise to find attitudes change so quickly.  Otherwise, it wasn't much of a surprise. The forces of white entitlement, white supremacy and white lunacy amassed in DC, and statehouses across the country. Some of the assembled mob believed they were literally going to war. A few of them might have been surprised on all what that entails, but plenty sure as hell knew what they were doing. The rioters might have looked like jokes but they weren't joking, and everyone knew it. Rudy Giuliani tried to subvert the will of the people, but called the wrong Senator. Violent insurrection is what Donald Trump wanted. He already goaded a mob to seize the capitol in Lansing, Michigan, and he used social media to attempt a coup. He and the gang are being deplatformed 5 years too late, and it's not nearly enough anymore. William Barr, Mick Mulvaney, along with several others of the Trump administration, many Republicans, and all the other presidents can tell you it is not enough anymore. Democrats on the House Judiciary Committee have called on Mike Pence to invoke the 25th Amendment. Of course, it was only yesterday that Mike got his big boy pants pulled up, so that might be a big ask.  Speaking of Mike, Politico's "Congress Reporter", Kyle Cheney misspoke about a discovery that he misconstrued as Pence manipulation of the electoral count, when in fact it is a parliamentarian hero story.

David Waldman wrings out the old year with Greg Dworkin on today's KITM. Chuck Schumer will be delivering the most harshly worded letter to 2025 today but vows to take the fight to 2026 and to persevere to the very moment that he doesn't. Donald K. Trump, who lost his right hand in a botched gender-affirming surgery late in 2024, might have to disclose this and other medical and psychological records in future lawsuits. It is said that the worst Cabinet Secretary is the one that kills the most civilians.  This is a heavily competitive category, but under that criterion, RFK Jr. takes the lead and looks to hold that lead for the rest of our much-shortened lives. Trump environmental policies will make certain that any survivors, world-wide, will spend their short lives in increasing misery. Can you imagine the reputational and financial damage an artist could incur by performing at a Trump-branded venue? At least the Kennedy Center changed its board rules to save some members the permanent humiliation of being associated with the name change. Hours after the death of JFK's granddaughter Tatiana Schlossberg, Trump insulted the Kennedy family for not actually owning the building with their name on it. Sans serif type can help millions of people with poor vision and disabilities. Trump and Rubio say 

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin help us through this black hole week of the black hole presidency. Let's return to the Trump Epstein files. Only an idiot could deny how many might be getting their first taste of justice, if the Justice Department was not fighting against that. Of course, there are still a lot of idiots out there. Julie K. Brown is a journalist targeted in the war against justice. The New York Times believes that Marjorie Traitor Greene has recently decided to become a traitor to Trump, when we all know that Marge has always been a traitor to everyone. MTG certainly knows that DJT is DOA in 28. Marge's actual target, JD Just Dance Vance, brought Elon Musk back to the White House in order to buddy up to the First Buddy. Is the US beginning to recoil from MAGA culture? Is the Pope Catholic? Mass protests are effective, so are well done small protests. The Jan 6… actually the Jan 5 pipe bomber wasn't partisan, he just liked bombs. Americans hate AI. The problem is that American money loves AI and AI is the only friend American money has at this moment. If/when the AI bubble pops, the only thing left to prop up the US economy will be the tech startups of Led Zeppelin fanboys. Ukraine President Zelenskyy would probably prefer to sit at the front lines than across the table from Stephen Miller and Jared Kushner. At least, then he would have a fighting chance. That sound you hear is ten US presidents spinning in their graves.

'twas the day after The Night Before Christmas, and all through the house, nobody really wanted to be responsible for making other people work. So I didn't. Uh... not even a mouse, or whatever. Today, we'll all take a moment to relax--whether you have reason to or not--and think back to a time when Christmas meant the impending departure of Donald Trump. A simpler time, when we didn't yet know that someone had blown a city block of Nashville sky high, on Trump's "watch." You could be forgiven for forgetting, though, since he also launched a MAGA assalut on the U.S. Capitol less than two weeks later. So, yes, please enjoy this, our December 24, 2020 episode! David Waldman, opens today's KITM yawning like the MGM lion, waking us up for Christmas eve: Donald Trump keeps handing out pardons like moist candy canes to anyone that met him under the mistletoe over the last few years. Donald pardoned Jesse Benton as a gift to his employers, Ron Paul and Mitch McConnell and the uncle of Benton's wife, Rand Paul… (Jesse will probably be Matt Gaetz' son by the end of the day.) Trump pardoned a former Maryland police officer whose heart he knew was in the right place. (They need to be arrested faster than Trump can pardon them.) Merry Christmas! Trump's Blackwater pardons aren't bringing much cheer to their victim's families, however. There's bound to be more today, but Dad's saving the nicest ones for under the tree in Mar-a-Lago. Greg Dworkin reminds us that actually, Donald Trump doesn't give gifts to anyone but himself. If he can take someone else's gift, it's even better. Merry F***ing Christmas to everyone in Congress with the Gop at each other's throats and Democrats trying to pull $2000 checks out of the fireplace. It seems that Trump might be a little over his head still on how government works, or how reality works for that matter. Kelly Loeffler, too. Two Republican House members voted by proxy — while simultaneously suing to ban the use of proxy voting . Ron DeSantis figures, why appoint experts when he can be the guy that says expert things? Rep.-elect Luke Letlow checked himself into the hospital for no particular reason, and is now thinking about checking out the ICU for the holidays. People who are immunocompromised or otherwise allow coronavirus to hang around for while might encourage unfortunate mutations. Did Bill Barr arrest Lev Parnas to keep him from testifying against Donald Trump? Did a Democratic House candidate lose by 6 votes after 22 votes were improperly excluded in Iowa? Did the Kansas City Star misreport on Black Kansas Citians for generations? Yes.

David Waldman takes a short break in his otherwise completely normal day to bring us news of all of the abnormalities of today. Greg Dworkin comes down the chimney with his Sack o' Stories™, attached to that unfortunate sack of Ex-Twitter ex-crement. Jeffrey Epstein is the gift that keeps on giving, and on the third day of Epstein, the DOJ gave to thee a myriad mentions of Trump, 8 Lolita Express trips, 3 criminal co-conspirators, more ties to pedophiles, but nothing much for victims of the crimes. The redactions seem excessive, but you should've seen all the ones that were pre-redacted. Sure, two thirds of Americans are allowed to have sex with little girls... once they are married in holy wedlock. It takes connections, however, to collect underage women. Just ask John Casablancas of Elite Model Management, Paolo Zampolli of ID Model Management, and that guy who founded Trump Model Management. We return to Turning Point USA's flagship event, AmericaFest, to get a sense of the harmony and unity Erika Kirk brings. Neo-Nazi terror group "the Base" is taking advantage of the anti-antifascist environment here and around the world. Trump's arch enemy, wind farms, taunt him on the horizon of his golf courses, and worse yet, help sustain the environment that refuses to kick back to him. So, until Trump can rename the wind "Trump", everyone must suffer. Bari Weiss understands the need for quality journalism yet feels that CBS should give equal weight to propaganda. It's the public's right to know, and the oligarchy's… well it's the oligarchy's. That is all you need to know. What? The Trump Supreme Court just told Trump that he can't deploy the National Guard in Illinois. Trump won't like that. Brett Kavanaugh wants everyone to know that none of this is his fault.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have returned, and already it feels like there's more sunshine today. There! The DOJ released less than a percent of the Epstein files. Happy now? Apparently, dumping 500 pages with black lines over previously accessible documents and removing photos that even they had released previously fails to meet the spirit of the Epstein Files Transparency Act… Ok, the law of the Epstein Files Transparency Act, along with several other laws. It does fulfill the spirit of screwing as many as possible while keeping your buddies' backs, however. You couldn't catch the latest 60 Minutes episode because Bari Weiss caught and killed it first. CBS says the story wasn't ready, but it did take a while for Bari Weiss to get her story together as well. Trump is removing dozens of career diplomats from overseas posts, because what would they know? Louisiana Governor Jeff Landry will be special envoy to Greenland, because Jeff is a noted expert on agreeing with Trump.  Landry will remain Governor as Louisiana's constitution does not explicitly prohibit "side hustles". Nobody told ambassador to Israel Mike Huckabee to not to talk with Jonathan Pollard, who was convicted of selling American secrets for Israeli gold, who now hates Donald K. Trump for selling America for Saudi gold. The getting is good for Cynthia Lummis and Elise Stefanik, so they're gone, while Mike Johnson might not be aware that he's already been quiet fired.  The Federal Reserve pre-fired 11 of its 12 regional bank presidents before Trump could. How does Lindsey Halligan keep not doing it?

We're finally saying "Happy Hanukkah" again! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring glad tidings and pertinent information. Is it better when Donald K. Trump goes on primetime to say nothing? If so, Trump delivered last night. It was tough to come up with takeaways or see any points Trump made, even with PowerPoint, but even harder to paint anything he said as factual, truthful, or remotely not deranged. Trump blamed everyone but him and was furious that all credit did not go to him, so expect this speech periodically through the rest of his term. The one piece of actual news is the promise of Merry Christmas checks to armed service members, in other words, the "basic allowance for housing" that hubristic underhanded moron is BS-ing unassuming GIs, by calling it a "warrior dividend". If Trump wasn't so bad at corruption he could have retired by now. Susie Wiles hasn't lasted this long by going around pointing out everyone's moral, legal or rational shortcomings, you know. Democrats are, of course, frustrated by their lack of control in the House, but it could be worse. They could be Mike Johnson. In other acronym news, Congress wants to know why the Space Force needs a SOCOM, or "special operations component command".

David Waldman addressed the nation today. If you were unable to catch it live, you can replay with the link provided above. Click click click… Greenland… Canada… The TACO wheel o' war might be coming to rest on Venezuela as US battleships cross the Andes to surround Trump's oil, land other assets. Join Master of Ceremonies Donald K. Trump tonight as he countdowns the number of corpses he has to feed into this Epstein thing. Trump's National Security Strategy is none of those things. It's not even Trump's, as what's in it for him? Greg Dworkin hauls in some polls from the awful place. That doesn't make them awful, of course, only suspect. Democrats are gigantically overperforming at this moment. That could change if the economy improves, and there is no way that is going to happen, and even MAGA knows it. Republicans unravel! Gops make or break moment on Obamacare has them going for broke. Trump staff posed for Vanity Fair cameras one inch from their noses and figured that this was just going to be a puff piece. Suzie Wiles is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being DC has ever known this week. Oh, the weather outside is frightful… but you can't prove that because the National Center for Atmospheric Research is being disposed of. Somewhere Tina Peters is smiling.