Podcast appearances and mentions of greg dworkin

David Waldman has a million things to tell you today… and almost does. Elon Musk's "X" Paris office has been raided. France, United Kingdom and Spain are charging Ex-Twitter of algorithmic manipulation and the distribution of child sexual abuse content. Hey, it's not a crime to hang out with pedophile content providers, is it? Greg Dworkin is there all the time in fact, mostly on assignment, of course. For example, polling. You just can't find that anywhere else. Polling shows that people are beginning to miss Joe and want Stephen Miller and Kristi Noem to go away. White non-college folks are even drifting away. Gops now wonder if they kicked around Latinos maybe a bit too much. Republicans are presently so hated that Democrats are actually beginning to look good to voters. Indeed, Dems might even be considered to be better than the lesser of two evils heading into the midterms. Democrats still have 9 months to ruin things, which is plenty of time. The House shut down the partial shutdown, except for DHS funding, as Gop John Rose likes them young and is the one vote margin.  ICE asks if you and whose army will make them unmask, ID themselves, and generally follow the Constitution, but first, you'll have to figure out who they are. Marimar Martinez was shot 7 times with 5 bullets, making her the bullet hole pin-up of the DHS. Slaughter of innocents may seem passé at the moment, but the feds still have their ways. Judges complain that so many of them enjoy being petty dangerous bullies, that there is hardly anyone left to do the paperwork.

Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today! That's right, woodchuck-chuckers - it's Groundhog's Day! And the big question on David Waldman and Greg Dworkin's lips... on their chapped lips, is…  About half of the Epstein files have been released, and wow they are gross. Now half of them are gone because they weren't quite redacted yet. Epstein Island, or thereabouts, was the place for the elite to meet, from Elon Musk down to... Igor… who could be this Igor or that Igor but was most likely one of this guy's Igors. Will there be a Blue Wave? There is definitely a blue swing, and one giant blue swing in Texas. Taylor Rehmet flipped a state Senate seat by 17 points, a 32 point swing, a BFD big enough to push her well-funded opponent, Leigh Wambsganns, right out of Trump's mind. Gops turned out for the election, they just turned out to not like Trump anymore. Donald K. Trump hasn't a chance of getting these voters back, but that doesn't matter if there is no voting. Minneapolis is being pushed out of the news, but ICE hasn't been pushed out, and its economic embargo is destroying the lives of all the residents. Two Latino gang members shot a white man down on the street recently, but lately the gang has moved to indiscriminate use of chemical agents in the towns that they menace. What kind of chemicals? They don't know and they don't care. If anyone complains, there's always biowarfare.  Trump might not be the biggest crook in the world, but he's the biggest in a democracy, at least in what's left of one. Nancy Mace is giving him a run on who's the craziest.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin sift through the latest fallout. Is today the day Donald K. Trump became president? Nope. That pivot you are seeing is a tailspin. A death spiral that Trump can't insult, distract, nor kill himself out of.  Killing people isn't good politics, because murder wakes up the vast sleepy middle. Trump's immigration approval drops to record low… wow, ya think? Trump tires of alienating the off-white and moves on to gun nuts. All the cool kids want to abolish ICE now. Being on the right side of history is good politics, eventually.  Two special Minnesota House races were won by Democratic contenders, in a big way... hallelujah! Virginia Governor Abigail Spanberger runs out of bubblegum on Day One. Back over on the wrong side of history, Kristi Noem was just following orders… Stephen Miller's orders. Stephen vows to not go to the gallows alone. Meanwhile, ICE uses long-range sonic weapons, point blank, at protesters. ICE'S striving to be international pains in asses. Chained PAX are not safe 02/EVAC. Ilhan Omar was attacked by a far-right extremist "piece of sh*t" racist… no, not Trump, but definitely a kindred spirit. Days earlier, Representative Maxwell Frost was physically assaulted by a bigoted lunatic, again not Trump, although Trump's voice does speak in a lot of crazy heads.  The Pentagon is temporarily removing the bomb vending machine from their food court. Usha Vance has been successfully impregnated, purportedly by blasphemous idolator JD Vance. Avid moviegoers are rushing to avoid the smash non-hit Melania, the must-miss movie of the season!

Let's gather around and warm ourselves on the glow of David Waldman and Greg Dworkin's wit and punditry. We remain under the cloud of a continuing mass shooting, or perhaps the unofficial public execution of dissidents to the Trump regime. Tomato, tomahto. The official line was much less accurate to that but always has the benefit of coming out first and loudest. "The good guy had a gun, so he was asking for it." argument is wearing thin, as typical person-on-the-street Marjorie Taylor Greene can attest. Gops understand the huge difference between now and Jan 6, and that's in the deadliness of the polling. In this case, they are calling for an investigation and might not even destroy any evidence. What can be done to stop this? Thoughts and prayers can get you arrested, but interrupting thoughts and prayers might not get you indicted. Only the National Guard have enough firepower to show empathy. Democrats strongly call to restrain, reform, restrict and continue to apply alliteration until Republicans submit. They might pull some purse strings also, which might be of some help if those strings reached to Qatar. James Comer throws Trump a TACO lifeline. But Donald is already way ahead of him, throwing Kristi Noem under the bus, installing her un-botoxed twin Tom Holman, Zohran Mamdaning Tim Walz, and declaring victory/retreat. Meanwhile, Minnesota Governor contender Chris Madel throws some smoke bombs of his own and disappears. 

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin give us a thing or two to consider. Babbling dotard Donald K. Trump triumphantly returns to the US following his conquest of Iceland and bestowing upon us an eternal reign of peace. Voters don't like Trump. Voters really don't like Trump. Trump dngaf. Trump has one set of voters that he cares about, and he takes care of them. The rest can go to Hell, and rest assured, Donald has plans underway to bring Hell to the US. ICE aren't peace officers. ICE aren't police officers. ICE is not an immigration enforcement agency. ICE is an organized crime syndicate. ICE is a roving street gang with millions in public relations, and government protection. Matt Gaetz is allowed to do what he wants as long as he doesn't rape kids in court. A New York judge ruled a Gop district there is unconstitutional, but Gop Dan Goldman is screwed either way. RIP Abby.

David Waldman wishes a merry and fulfilling Squirrel Appreciation Day, to those who observe. Greg Dworkin reaches into the anus of the universe and squeezes out more polling to share. There's always room for improvement when it comes to how to respond to madness. Trump ducked another bullet to arrive in Davos last night. Stupid demented degenerate megalomaniac Donald K. Trump vowed that there is no need for him to kill again, as long as everyone complies… except for Greenland, or maybe Iceland… and France… and Svalbard. They had better watch their backs. ICE are not rogue cops. They are good soldiers, just not your army. Demoralization and attrition aren't accidental; they are the objective. Resistance is not enough. Hate has an ever-broadening appeal. Her Excellency, Abigail Spanberger issued an executive order un-deputizing Virginia state police from being ICE lackeys. Dem Garrett McGuire has been specially elected to replace Mark Sickles who is now the new secretary of finance. How did Lindsey Halligan not do it? Federal judges count the ways. Halligan remains wrong till the bitter end.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back and podding harder than ever. Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Ish Kabibble's birthday, and National False Equivalency Day. So, who thought that giving Donald K. Trump a free Noble prize would placate him? It did not, as acquiesce only makes him angrier. Now Trump will take revenge against the Nobel Prize Committee in Norway by taking Greenland from Denmark. The world isn't laughing anymore, especially not at Billy Long joking about throwing Iceland in on the deal. Bernie Sanders trips over his own shtick. Back at home, most people hate everything that Trump is doing, because most people are sane. Bipartisan agreement between sane and insane can be found on the release of the Epstein files. People oppose ICE when the only thing keeping everyone from being shot are Donald's morals, which leaked out long before half of his brains did. Columbia University graduate Mahmoud Khalil might be rearrested as the law is rearranged to disfavor him. How does Lindsey Halligan not do it? Lindsey remains an attorney no matter what the law says, because the law is irrelevant to this administration.  Stinkiest human windfarm, Donald pardons the worst crap, as often as it pleases him, or makes others angry, he doesn't put much thought into it. Trump endorses a candidate who is not yet running against her opponent, who is an incumbent who usually supports him. Good news! Virginia welcomes Her Excellency, Governor Abigail Spanberger, already making state colleges and universities smarter. The state is also redistricting, in the good direction. Bad news! Anything being produced by Bari Weiss, and OG bad news, Fox News.

David Waldman returns for The Final Episode of KITM… Or maybe that's tomorrow? Let's just take this one day at a time. Greg Dworkin returns from the world-leading source of AI-assisted undressing, somehow fully clothed, but with new polling on the Texas Senate primaries. Support for ICE'S collapsing, as they break laws and crack heads around Minneapolis and elsewhere. ICE'S optics are bad when they are never good... and always evil. Mayor Jacob Frey's forces are outnumbered. Tim Walz wants more witnesses. Todd Blanche wants Walz and Frey in Cecot. Ritchie Torres wants fast self-serve checkout. Gop wannabe Bruce Blakeman wants the opposite of whatever Kathy Hochul wants. All ICE wants are to be big men with big paychecks, and they will come up short on both. It would hurt more if they had to put time and effort into their jobs, which obviously they don't. ICE is leaving victims' cars on the road for people to collect, but also their own cars, and munitions. Hey! The DHS claims that Jonathan Ross is bleeding from his whatever, so there! They aren't the only dummies! The Gop House sent the wrong Obamacare bill to the Senate, because you know they have been so busy lately. And of course, homogenized ass-whole Donald K. Trump would destroy the world if only he could stay awake long enough. Pop-up nuclear reactors should get the apocalypse out of the way soon. Mini reactors are brought to you by those safety-minded folks in Russia, and Jeffrey Epstein!

Due to recent levels of chaos and insanity in the news, today's Whiskey Wednesday KITM with David Waldman will be followed this week by Meth Thursday and Freebase Friday. While hanging around the world clearinghouse for sexual deepfakes and child exploitation images, Greg Dworkin discovered several positive polling shifts for the Democratic party.  Just about everyone has seen Renee Good murdered. Most of them believe that ICE should not have murdered her. Most believe that ICE gunmen should be prosecuted and their reign of terror should end.  Most people are not MAGA. Everyone knows Good was murdered. It's just that some people like murder and want to see more of it. Joe Rogan isn't catering to those people. JD Vance absolutely is. The expected "She was no angel" smears are being replaced with lynch mobs, while six Fed prosecutors quit rather than persecute-prosecute Renee's widow. 20,000 lone gunmen might be in your town tonight. If only Jerome Powell complied, his tragedy might have been averted. The imperial boomerang returns to take out native people, again.  The bad news is, the weaker Trump becomes, the more dangerous he becomes. The good news is, all of this bad news is because Trump is becoming weaker. Trump can't save Tony Dokoupil but can take credit for him. Gops team up to kill Gop bills.  Republicans always knew Donald K. Trump was crazy. Chuck Schumer may end up looking like a genius. Scott Adams remains dead but will never have worms.

David Waldman cheerfully returns with another KITM, even after Amy Poehler stole his award. Greg Dworkin reports on some polling that he found on a porn site. That's the good news. The rest of it, and there is a lot of it, is pretty bad. The good news would be if all this bad news will lead to a turning point. We got to bottom out sometime! ICE'S enough to make anybody cuss, and it is probably time to think of worse curse words to describe what's going on. Everybody is trying to figure how to handle ICE, but their whole point letting everyone know they can't be handled. Might means right is their message, even when they play the victim. That is how they can make this woman into a trained assassin. In fact, that is how they make any woman into both an existential threat and an easy target. Hey-Oh, we won't be silent while our friends are gunned down. Gaseous dotard Donald K. Trump somehow rules America with fear and is tearing apart the world. He's an easily duped moron who would be happy to destroy the world tomorrow if he knew humankind's final moments would be spent envying him. Today's target, as suggested by Machiavellian cretin Bill Pulte, is Federal Reserve Chair Jerome H. Powell. Tomorrow's target is the CEO of ExxonMobil.  Governor Jared Polis of Colorado is cowed. The Washington National Opera is not. Former Representative Mary Peltola is bringing the good fight to the Alaska Senate race. RIP Bob Weir, the late great Grateful Dead founding member.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin don't need a hastily prepared PVC pipe and black draped tent to deliver the action KITM listeners crave.  Today's apocalyptic earth-shattering black-swan event is the abduction of the President of Venezuela, Nicolás Maduro. Nobody is really certain why we did it. Maybe Maduro is involved with Jeffrey Epstein, or the Nobel Prize committee? Maybe he just wanted to piss off Marjorie Taylor Green one last time? Maybe war with Venezuela was a campaign promise? Did a tariff payment check bounce? You know, Maduro was asking for it… a lot of people are asking for it... One thing is certain. It sure is fun to watch stuff blow up. Trump wanted Zero Dark Thirty and Delta Force delivered. Delivered clicks, that is, and what's more important than that? Everybody's wondering, "Where does this franchise go from here?" The possibilities are endless, but time is of the essence, as cheap overseas knockoffs are already in the works. Now, you are probably asking yourself, "Hey, remember Venezuela? What's happening with those guys?" Well, that's yesterday's news. Somebody down there surely has a handle on it. Marco or Stephen will check in later this week to look in on them or something. Right now, it's doing everything Trump needs it to.  If not, someone should expect to see a nasty email or drone arrive soon with their name on it. Of course, all of this is perfectly legal. In fact, it is illegal to say that it is illegal, that's how legal it is. Meanwhile, let's pretend that we still have a democracy. Tim Walz is taking time off from being an assassination target to spend more time with his family, opening the door for Amy Klobuchar to run for Governor. Amy has been preparing for this moment. California also still exists, and Matt Ortega is running for election to the U.S. House to represent California's 14th Congressional District. 

My mind was rarin' to go again today, but the rest of me wasn't having it. The smart thing to do was to use the Black Hole Week down time to answer a question the last couple of re-runs might have put you in mind of: What the hell did KITM sound like on January 7, 2026? Well, now you'll know! And if you'd like a preview, here's Scott Anderson's summary of that fateful day… after the actual fateful day. David Waldman, broadcasting from the center of our vast KITM World Headquarters, phones Greg Dworkin down in the laundry room, to discuss all that happened yesterday: Did you read my summary yesterday? No? Well, I don't blame you. Yesterday was pretty crazy. Yesterday, I was certain Trumpers would be no challenge to Capitol police. The day before, I thought even the idea of an assault on the House chamber to be an outlandish joke. Imagine my surprise to find attitudes change so quickly.  Otherwise, it wasn't much of a surprise. The forces of white entitlement, white supremacy and white lunacy amassed in DC, and statehouses across the country. Some of the assembled mob believed they were literally going to war. A few of them might have been surprised on all what that entails, but plenty sure as hell knew what they were doing. The rioters might have looked like jokes but they weren't joking, and everyone knew it. Rudy Giuliani tried to subvert the will of the people, but called the wrong Senator. Violent insurrection is what Donald Trump wanted. He already goaded a mob to seize the capitol in Lansing, Michigan, and he used social media to attempt a coup. He and the gang are being deplatformed 5 years too late, and it's not nearly enough anymore. William Barr, Mick Mulvaney, along with several others of the Trump administration, many Republicans, and all the other presidents can tell you it is not enough anymore. Democrats on the House Judiciary Committee have called on Mike Pence to invoke the 25th Amendment. Of course, it was only yesterday that Mike got his big boy pants pulled up, so that might be a big ask.  Speaking of Mike, Politico's "Congress Reporter", Kyle Cheney misspoke about a discovery that he misconstrued as Pence manipulation of the electoral count, when in fact it is a parliamentarian hero story.

David Waldman wrings out the old year with Greg Dworkin on today's KITM. Chuck Schumer will be delivering the most harshly worded letter to 2025 today but vows to take the fight to 2026 and to persevere to the very moment that he doesn't. Donald K. Trump, who lost his right hand in a botched gender-affirming surgery late in 2024, might have to disclose this and other medical and psychological records in future lawsuits. It is said that the worst Cabinet Secretary is the one that kills the most civilians.  This is a heavily competitive category, but under that criterion, RFK Jr. takes the lead and looks to hold that lead for the rest of our much-shortened lives. Trump environmental policies will make certain that any survivors, world-wide, will spend their short lives in increasing misery. Can you imagine the reputational and financial damage an artist could incur by performing at a Trump-branded venue? At least the Kennedy Center changed its board rules to save some members the permanent humiliation of being associated with the name change. Hours after the death of JFK's granddaughter Tatiana Schlossberg, Trump insulted the Kennedy family for not actually owning the building with their name on it. Sans serif type can help millions of people with poor vision and disabilities. Trump and Rubio say 

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin help us through this black hole week of the black hole presidency. Let's return to the Trump Epstein files. Only an idiot could deny how many might be getting their first taste of justice, if the Justice Department was not fighting against that. Of course, there are still a lot of idiots out there. Julie K. Brown is a journalist targeted in the war against justice. The New York Times believes that Marjorie Traitor Greene has recently decided to become a traitor to Trump, when we all know that Marge has always been a traitor to everyone. MTG certainly knows that DJT is DOA in 28. Marge's actual target, JD Just Dance Vance, brought Elon Musk back to the White House in order to buddy up to the First Buddy. Is the US beginning to recoil from MAGA culture? Is the Pope Catholic? Mass protests are effective, so are well done small protests. The Jan 6… actually the Jan 5 pipe bomber wasn't partisan, he just liked bombs. Americans hate AI. The problem is that American money loves AI and AI is the only friend American money has at this moment. If/when the AI bubble pops, the only thing left to prop up the US economy will be the tech startups of Led Zeppelin fanboys. Ukraine President Zelenskyy would probably prefer to sit at the front lines than across the table from Stephen Miller and Jared Kushner. At least, then he would have a fighting chance. That sound you hear is ten US presidents spinning in their graves.

'twas the day after The Night Before Christmas, and all through the house, nobody really wanted to be responsible for making other people work. So I didn't. Uh... not even a mouse, or whatever. Today, we'll all take a moment to relax--whether you have reason to or not--and think back to a time when Christmas meant the impending departure of Donald Trump. A simpler time, when we didn't yet know that someone had blown a city block of Nashville sky high, on Trump's "watch." You could be forgiven for forgetting, though, since he also launched a MAGA assalut on the U.S. Capitol less than two weeks later. So, yes, please enjoy this, our December 24, 2020 episode! David Waldman, opens today's KITM yawning like the MGM lion, waking us up for Christmas eve: Donald Trump keeps handing out pardons like moist candy canes to anyone that met him under the mistletoe over the last few years. Donald pardoned Jesse Benton as a gift to his employers, Ron Paul and Mitch McConnell and the uncle of Benton's wife, Rand Paul… (Jesse will probably be Matt Gaetz' son by the end of the day.) Trump pardoned a former Maryland police officer whose heart he knew was in the right place. (They need to be arrested faster than Trump can pardon them.) Merry Christmas! Trump's Blackwater pardons aren't bringing much cheer to their victim's families, however. There's bound to be more today, but Dad's saving the nicest ones for under the tree in Mar-a-Lago. Greg Dworkin reminds us that actually, Donald Trump doesn't give gifts to anyone but himself. If he can take someone else's gift, it's even better. Merry F***ing Christmas to everyone in Congress with the Gop at each other's throats and Democrats trying to pull $2000 checks out of the fireplace. It seems that Trump might be a little over his head still on how government works, or how reality works for that matter. Kelly Loeffler, too. Two Republican House members voted by proxy — while simultaneously suing to ban the use of proxy voting . Ron DeSantis figures, why appoint experts when he can be the guy that says expert things? Rep.-elect Luke Letlow checked himself into the hospital for no particular reason, and is now thinking about checking out the ICU for the holidays. People who are immunocompromised or otherwise allow coronavirus to hang around for while might encourage unfortunate mutations. Did Bill Barr arrest Lev Parnas to keep him from testifying against Donald Trump? Did a Democratic House candidate lose by 6 votes after 22 votes were improperly excluded in Iowa? Did the Kansas City Star misreport on Black Kansas Citians for generations? Yes.

David Waldman takes a short break in his otherwise completely normal day to bring us news of all of the abnormalities of today. Greg Dworkin comes down the chimney with his Sack o' Stories™, attached to that unfortunate sack of Ex-Twitter ex-crement. Jeffrey Epstein is the gift that keeps on giving, and on the third day of Epstein, the DOJ gave to thee a myriad mentions of Trump, 8 Lolita Express trips, 3 criminal co-conspirators, more ties to pedophiles, but nothing much for victims of the crimes. The redactions seem excessive, but you should've seen all the ones that were pre-redacted. Sure, two thirds of Americans are allowed to have sex with little girls... once they are married in holy wedlock. It takes connections, however, to collect underage women. Just ask John Casablancas of Elite Model Management, Paolo Zampolli of ID Model Management, and that guy who founded Trump Model Management. We return to Turning Point USA's flagship event, AmericaFest, to get a sense of the harmony and unity Erika Kirk brings. Neo-Nazi terror group "the Base" is taking advantage of the anti-antifascist environment here and around the world. Trump's arch enemy, wind farms, taunt him on the horizon of his golf courses, and worse yet, help sustain the environment that refuses to kick back to him. So, until Trump can rename the wind "Trump", everyone must suffer. Bari Weiss understands the need for quality journalism yet feels that CBS should give equal weight to propaganda. It's the public's right to know, and the oligarchy's… well it's the oligarchy's. That is all you need to know. What? The Trump Supreme Court just told Trump that he can't deploy the National Guard in Illinois. Trump won't like that. Brett Kavanaugh wants everyone to know that none of this is his fault.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have returned, and already it feels like there's more sunshine today. There! The DOJ released less than a percent of the Epstein files. Happy now? Apparently, dumping 500 pages with black lines over previously accessible documents and removing photos that even they had released previously fails to meet the spirit of the Epstein Files Transparency Act… Ok, the law of the Epstein Files Transparency Act, along with several other laws. It does fulfill the spirit of screwing as many as possible while keeping your buddies' backs, however. You couldn't catch the latest 60 Minutes episode because Bari Weiss caught and killed it first. CBS says the story wasn't ready, but it did take a while for Bari Weiss to get her story together as well. Trump is removing dozens of career diplomats from overseas posts, because what would they know? Louisiana Governor Jeff Landry will be special envoy to Greenland, because Jeff is a noted expert on agreeing with Trump.  Landry will remain Governor as Louisiana's constitution does not explicitly prohibit "side hustles". Nobody told ambassador to Israel Mike Huckabee to not to talk with Jonathan Pollard, who was convicted of selling American secrets for Israeli gold, who now hates Donald K. Trump for selling America for Saudi gold. The getting is good for Cynthia Lummis and Elise Stefanik, so they're gone, while Mike Johnson might not be aware that he's already been quiet fired.  The Federal Reserve pre-fired 11 of its 12 regional bank presidents before Trump could. How does Lindsey Halligan keep not doing it?

We're finally saying "Happy Hanukkah" again! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring glad tidings and pertinent information. Is it better when Donald K. Trump goes on primetime to say nothing? If so, Trump delivered last night. It was tough to come up with takeaways or see any points Trump made, even with PowerPoint, but even harder to paint anything he said as factual, truthful, or remotely not deranged. Trump blamed everyone but him and was furious that all credit did not go to him, so expect this speech periodically through the rest of his term. The one piece of actual news is the promise of Merry Christmas checks to armed service members, in other words, the "basic allowance for housing" that hubristic underhanded moron is BS-ing unassuming GIs, by calling it a "warrior dividend". If Trump wasn't so bad at corruption he could have retired by now. Susie Wiles hasn't lasted this long by going around pointing out everyone's moral, legal or rational shortcomings, you know. Democrats are, of course, frustrated by their lack of control in the House, but it could be worse. They could be Mike Johnson. In other acronym news, Congress wants to know why the Space Force needs a SOCOM, or "special operations component command".

David Waldman addressed the nation today. If you were unable to catch it live, you can replay with the link provided above. Click click click… Greenland… Canada… The TACO wheel o' war might be coming to rest on Venezuela as US battleships cross the Andes to surround Trump's oil, land other assets. Join Master of Ceremonies Donald K. Trump tonight as he countdowns the number of corpses he has to feed into this Epstein thing. Trump's National Security Strategy is none of those things. It's not even Trump's, as what's in it for him? Greg Dworkin hauls in some polls from the awful place. That doesn't make them awful, of course, only suspect. Democrats are gigantically overperforming at this moment. That could change if the economy improves, and there is no way that is going to happen, and even MAGA knows it. Republicans unravel! Gops make or break moment on Obamacare has them going for broke. Trump staff posed for Vanity Fair cameras one inch from their noses and figured that this was just going to be a puff piece. Suzie Wiles is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being DC has ever known this week. Oh, the weather outside is frightful… but you can't prove that because the National Center for Atmospheric Research is being disposed of. Somewhere Tina Peters is smiling.

Greg Dworkin told you Monday that there'd be elections Tuesday. David Waldman told you Tuesday that Greg would tell you about those elections on Wednesday. It's Wednesday, and I don't need to tell you what the topic is, do I? Democrat Eileen Higgins beat Trump pick Emilio González in the runoff for Miami mayor, the first Dem win in 30 years, while Rolando Escalona ended the Carollo dynasty with nearly 60% of the vote. The Democratic party ponders whether to clone Higgins or Mamdani this year... But that's not all! Georgia Democrats flipped a Republican state House seat that Gops dummymandered. Thanks Donald! Sadly, most of this is happening because of the economy. Even more sadly, most of this is not happening because of the war crimes, rampant corruption, collapse of democracy, etc. Donald K. Trump kicked off his "affordability hoax" hoax tour, which could be over quick if someone doesn't start handing him some peace prizes. Trump might let the woman who won the Nobel lead his upcoming bombing runs. The Trump doctrine is to pardon and reward those who Biden dislikes and love him and blow up the rest. So simple a lackey can handle that while he naps. Political union with Russia, to own the globalists! ™ is more than a slogan, it is official US policy, with Russia leading the way. Meanwhile, Tennessee Gop Andy Ogles declares civil war on liberal judges.

David Waldman is back to the KITM World Headquarters Microphone after a weekend of less doofus behavior by Donald K. Trump. Of course, all things being relative. Greg Dworkin is here to offer his pre-election foresight ahead of his post-election hindsight this Wednesday. Republicans in rupture! If Republicans want to learn things the hard way, why turn them down? A tsunami is building, and not the scary kind that shows up in Japan, but the kind that has Gops stacking sandbags.  Miami hasn't had a Democratic mayor in almost 30 years, but that is looking to change. It might be a change in the US political "mood", or it could be that Gop voters are tired of seeing friends and family being shipped out of town. Latino Trump voters are having some sense pounded into them by ICE agents. Zohran Mamdanimentum might carry some NYC immigrants out of danger, but elsewhere immigrants are being plucked out of line by the nation to which they were just about to pledge allegiance. Trump hopes to ship half of Europe down to El Salvador soon. Trump can't sell Americans on his "affordability is a hoax" hoax, probably because people aren't dumb, and they'd have to be pretty dumb to not notice their health care and homes disappearing. Donald will slip farmers $12 billion in taxpayer money to look the other way. Even Steven KG Bannon can see the Trump reserve of stupid people becoming depleted. Trump's own mortgages match his description of mortgage fraud. That's just him being smart. Tom Cotton envies those that can hang out on their boat in the middle of a beautiful Caribbean night, just looking up at the stars and drones, not a care in the world except for funding/fighting their narcoterrorist overthrow of the United States. That's the life!

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin did it again! For a couple of hours today. The U.S. Institute of Peace has been renamed as the U.S. Institute of Irony. The Department of Defense is now Pete Hic! Hegseth's House of Murders.  Hungover from the fog of war, Hegseth immediately initiated a strategic inverted retrograde disengagement maneuver, tossing Admiral Alvin Holsey overboard. Admiral Frank "Mitch" Bradley is next in line and is scheduled to fall on his sword at approximately 14:00 today. Palantir is scheduled to make more money at that time. Republicans in Revolt! Gops brandishing torches, pitchforks and discharge petitions seek to topple Mike Johnson. Well, they really want Trump, but he scares them and no one is scared of Mike. Gop women feel the most rage, but don't want to come off sounding woke, or... feminist. No, Elise Stefanik will NOT lower her voice. Henry Cuellar shows that it's so easy to play Trump into a pardon, even a Democrat can do it. In the ACA debate, Gops propose Obamacare, but bad. Dems counterproposal is Obamacare, but longer. The pendulum is swinging back, right on time for the midterms. Except that no other president has been this disliked. The economy has rarely hit this many, especially against those constituents of the party in power. And that party in power has probably has never sucked this hard, nor have they promised to learn so little from their mistakes. Vladimir Putin continues to humiliate Donald K. Trump, but that's only because Trump demands to be humiliated. They finally arrested some guy for placing pipe bombs ahead of January 6, and the guy that they arrested is not Marge, sadly lowering the chance that she might go to prison, on that charge.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin help us start the month, week and day off right. You read it here first!  (Unless you read it over at The Intercept a few hours earlier.) The United States… that's us... We blew up a boat with 11 people in it, then we circled around and we murdered all the survivors.  We have murdered at least 83 in boats… Most of the world understands that is wrong, and we might have stopped murdering the swimmers, which we might all agree is somehow even more reprehensible. But we didn't just decide that was bad yesterday, we always knew that was a bad thing to do. Except of course for Pete Hegseth, who we, or at least some of us, hired to not do an evil job. Hic-seth thought that this was really funny at first but sobered up quickly to transfer the blame to his soldiers. Donald K. Trump doesn't know a "Hegseth", but if you write it at the bottom of the check, he'll pardon him. Juan Orlando Hernández made millions as president, raping Honduras in partnership with El Chapo while creating one of the largest drug-trafficking organizations in the world and was sentenced to 45 years. Oh well. Alina Habba, one of the biggest Trump's lawyers, is out as U.S. Attorney for the District of New Jersey. Sure, Kristi Noem disregarded court orders to send Venezuelans to El Salvador, but that wouldn't be against the law if judges didn't say so. No one needs more ballroom less than Trump and even his architect says so. Do reactionaries just feel left out? Trump has almost reached Jan 6 levels of unpopularity, and Republicans are feeling it. Another Gop seat could be flipped in Tennessee tomorrow, as they plan to redistrict Nashville away. One Republican Senator in Indiana drew the line on Trump insulting his daughter, while another wasn't swayed by swatting and doxxing. and yet another by a pipe bomb. Meanwhile, Troy Nehls of Texas feels now should be when he spends more time with his family.

David Waldman, mentally tough host of KITM, and his edgy sidekick Greg Dworkin return to the big pod screen for what could be their final adventure this week! Gops are stunned to see their most cozy rat jump ship. You don't have to hand it to Marge. She knew exactly what she was getting into, and exactly what she's getting out of. Who didn't? That is why it's always a good time to talk about Jeffrey Epstein. Epstein, Epstein, Epstein. Can you believe that there is any Latino support for Donald K. Trump? Can you believe there is any support at all for Trump? Anybody but Trump is the person to be. Judge Boasberg will look into contempt charges on those ignoring orders to halt deportation flights. Emil Bove always has plenty of contempt to go around, but Kristi Noem will be the one cosplaying under the bus.  How does Lindsey Halligan not do it? Ed Martin knows and is ready to dish on all the retribution plans with Alex Jones. Tina Peters is staying at the state pen, and she will be staying at the state pen. Trump wants her sprung and might still have something pictured. We don't know much about what the US does overseas, because the guy in charge, Vladimir Putin, tends to keep things close to his chest. Vlad's advisor, Steve Witkoff, leaked some guidance that he gave on how to play Trump, which turns out to not be too hard.  Ha ha! Oh, well. That's Our Trump!™

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin count down the days before the Presidential Turkey Pardon. In the meantime, let's roast this pig. Everyone's most hated president Donald K. Trump has achieved new disapproval like no one has ever seen. Fox News says "Sir, no one is inferior to you, Sir. The Trump Era is over… maybe for the last time. All that's left is the shouting and the threats, including death threats, of course. Republicans are being swept into the undertow. Most Gops will have a tough time finding new jobs. Mike Johnson won't be getting a recommendation.  Democrats are, well, the other choice, so they have that going for them. But they also have Chuck Schumer… The jobs report is pretty good for a few months ago. How does Lindsey Halligan do it? Well, it ends up that Lindsey didn't do half of what she needed to do in the James Comey political vengeance case, other than to make it clear that the only objective was political vengeance.  Gop gerrymanders seem like a pretty bad idea in hindsight, and probably in foresight, had any Gops had any. Turning Point USA is a den of iniquity. House Gops cut Dan Crenshaw off. Not just alcohol, but from even hanging around them for a while. A Republican staffer for Jeff Van Drew who hired a professional to disfigure her, might be mentally ill, but she couldn't have done it on her own.

It's Wednesday, so David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here to analyze Tuesday's landside vote! Big man, pig man. Ha-ha, charade he is. It's just not going Donald K. Trump's way lately. Forget "winning", few people even pity the guy anymore. Yesterday Gops not only hung Donald out to dry, they liked it, and plan to make it a habit. They stepped right over Mike Johnson to do it, too. Discharge petitions go from unthinkable to de rigueur. If Gops won't censure Dem Stacey Plaskett for profiting off of Jeffrey Epstein, so Dems won't censure Republican Cory Mills, so there! You don't want Nancy Mace and Lauren Boebert yelling at you. Democrats have the biggest advantage for control of Congress in 8 years. Don't tell Dems… but it seems like a substantial lead. Redistricting has been blocked by judges in Texas and self-denied in Indiana. America's Favorite Governor is happy with his, thank you. Tariff checks are like passing out candy bars on the deck of the Titanic, stupid, unhelpful, but whatever. A pardoned Capitol rioter promised to put a child sex victim in his will for the remainder of his reparation money.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin didn't just fall off the turnip truck, have been around the block and happen to be the sharpest knives in the drawer on today's KITM. Folding like a card table, America's greatest power bottom, Donald K. Trump ordered Republicans to demand that the Democrats finally release the Epstein files. Now, Republicans are set to decisively reveal the whole truth about… what is "barely" legal, anyhow? Lamest of ducks, Trump wasn't all that to begin with, and is decaying beyond the hope of bronzers, Latinos, or even bros. Living hand to mouth doesn't leave much for heat and electricity as inflation is becoming everyone's biggest concern, and affordability is this administration's least. Drop a penny in Marjorie Traitor Greene's slot and she sings a different tune, but really, it's all the same song and dance. That is, until she drops a dime on daddy. The gun is on the table with Venezuela, as we ready to drink their milkshake. Emil Bove explains that we are at actually at war with boats. People and cargo are only collateral damage. Coming apart at the seams, the bottom is falling out of the DOJ as some see the light.

David Waldman brings us another two hours of KITM, while Greg Dworkin puts down his Xbox controller for an hour to join in the latest news and badinage. But his emails! The House Oversight Committee gave us a small nasty taste of what's to come in the Epstein files. Republicans retaliated with 23,000 pages of proof that Jeffrey Epstein and his oh-so-close frenemy Donald K. Trump weren't only about the little girls. Sometimes they were about Ghislaine Maxwell, Trump, and little girls, and sometimes they were about Russia, Trump, and little girls. The thing about Jeffrey Epstein is that he never had a shortage of strange bedfellows to pillow talk with. Meanwhile… Matt Gaetz! Adelita Grijalva has finally been sworn in and became the 218th signature of Trump's very painful discharge petition. Who wouldn't vote for this bill?  Wow, this news almost pushed Dem's shame of shutdown caving off the front page! Hey, Democrats didn't perform "horribly", some say they didn't completely "fail", in fact… they "won", that's it!  In fact, Trump wasn't really "winning". People hate, hate, hate Trump… and they disapprove of him as well. Republicans love him less than they used to. In fact, Jeff might be the more popular one across the board. Illinois Gov. JB Pritzker worries what Trump might do to distract from the Epstein files and will be discussing it over the Thanksgiving table with family members. Kash Patel keeps hoping to score frequent flier points with his girlfriend.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are convening in working session today for the first time since Monday to address the national backlog of news and punditry. It's day two of the shutdown… cave by the Democrats. Dems knew when to hold'em, say they knew when to fold'em, according to government gamblers John Fetterman and Chuck Schumer. But what if the Democrats' big shutdown loss turns out to be a win? Well, it already has… for Republicans, who can pick up half a million dollars for subverting the government on Jan 6, and destroying it this year. Of course, the reason for the shutdown has not been addressed. Has this completely ruined the Democratic party chances in '26? No, not yet, but there's still time. Rising Republican star Glenn Youngkin has Santorumed out and won't be able to wrest Andrew Cuomo from upcoming Fox pundit slots. Sure, we kill people that we don't like the looks of. Hell, we slaughter hundreds of thousands. All of a sudden, the United Kingdom has something against war crimes?  Jeffrey Epstein knew all about Donald K. Trump. Everybody hates Donald Trump and is out to get him, according to criminal charges soon to be filed by the next Trump sacrificial attorney Jason Reding Quiñones. Obviously, such an overtly political hitjob would never be accepted in court by any judge who… AILEEN CANNON?!?

Acting! The Kagro in the Morning Players, Messrs. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin, debut the first of their one-act plays: "It's Not So Bad, When You Look at It". Did Dems underreach? Will Gops overreach? Well, that is what they do. Today is for replays and takeaways. It's not over yet, and there's plenty more to come. Now, will Donald K. Trump's next move be cruel, or stupid? Of course, it will be both. Trump can't bribe himself into popularity… not in this economy. ICE'S not yet being welcomed as liberators. Russia hunts civilians with drones, while Pete Hegseth says, "Hold my beer." Trump is being forced to share his food with others, and you can imagine how that makes him feel. The goal is to herd most Americans into ghettos, and the rest into fortresses, perhaps not the future most desire. Kash Patel keeps leaving spies out in the cold. Who needs intelligence when you have loyalty? That sure works for Alexander Smirnov, who was disappeared, but in a good way. Rudy Giuliani and his gang of fake electors got fake pardons they can pin to the walls of their state cells. SCOTUS declined to revisit their same-sex marriage decision filed by OG Karen, Kentucky county clerk Kim Davis, because really, no one wants to give her any more time.

David Waldman returns today, because there wasn't enough yesterday! Greg Dworkin returned also, but discovered that there wasn't enough today either, so he stuck around for most of the show! There is so much delicious data to share, most of which pollsters wished that they had a couple of days ago or at least had the foresight to analyze correctly. In hindsight, however, we can see that a bunch of Democrats voted, and not a lot of QAnon MAGAs had their panties bunched this go-round. Instead of conspiracies, voters were motivated by reality. Fewer jobs and bigger bills are being felt everywhere, especially with the MAGA who have noticed that America is not so great again. Not just the economy either. Every statewide office contested went blue. The whole nation has re-woke-ened. From sea to shining sea, assholes are looking for new jobs this week. Running for Democratic office is becoming so fun, everybody's doing it! Every little Podunk and Spotsylvania goes Dem as voters get out and vote. The fate of the free world rests in Zohran Mamdani's hands. That is according to everyone to the right of him, Democrat or Republican, and to the left of him and above and below him, who will now need to move their backbiting-sweet talking over to the Hizzoner's office lobby. Donald K. Trump is going full dotard because of all this. That seems like a fun thing, but it could be a bad thing. Meh, it couldn't get worse… could it? Perhaps someone should give him an award today. Nancy Pelosi is retiring from making history in Washington DC, might make a little more on the other coast.

David Waldman, Greg Dworkin, and Dems are back, baby. Now, if you are tuning in to KITM today, you are probably wanting to know when, what, where, how, and why.  When? Yesterday, and over the last 9 months or so, voters have determined that they need to fix things, and universally that Democrats were the ones to do that. What? Dems won in red and blue areas, in big and little races. Where? New Hampshire, New Jersey, Bucks County, Wake Forest, Edison… everywhere. In Cincinnati, JD Vance's brother is a loser.  You might have heard about places like California, and New York City, where the Mamdanimentum has become a Mamdanimandate. You got to love Virginia, where even the reddest counties turned blue, including, of course, home of Kagro in the Morning World Headquarters, Loudoun County. Democrats could gerrymander blue states bluer, but so could Republicans. How? The Hispanic vote, obviously, makes a lot more sense in a party that isn't cracking their skulls daily. A party whose motto is "Resistance is just asking for it." shouldn't expect much support from women. Antisemitic comedy is antisemitic. Why? Trump. The rest of them suck too, of course.  If the new Dems do a good job, the contrast will be harsher come midterms. Gops aren't the only ones smelling the onions and mustard this morning. Border Patrol agent Gregory Lairmore still has BMT PTSD. Greg Bovino says he may never recover from that punch to his blutbewußtsein, but the judge says he'll just have to soldier on. Trump still can't attack Portland, but Indianapolis wants some. Hey, guess which Dick is still dead? Cheney! Dick Cheney did horrible things when he was alive but was never the kind to allow a cardiac arrest to obstruct his skullduggery.

Against his better judgement, David Waldman returns today. He lived, so he'll probably return tomorrow. Greg Dworkin fished a couple more polls out of the fetid recesses of ex-Twitter. Zohran is Mamdaniminating the competition, while Andrew Cuomo is barely eking out enough votes to become a panel regular on Fox. Zohran is earning each vote, while Eric Adams isn't worth a bus fare bribe. In Virginia, Abigail Spanberger is sprinting ahead, right down the middle to the finish line. The Times of London wanted to speak to Bill DeBlasio, but weren't picky on which one, and took what they could get. Donald K. Trump has shuffled through Asia with each leader assuring him that he's a winner, handing him a little something, and sending him on his way… now we have to take care of him again. Someone has to break the news to grandpa about the government shutting down. All of Donald's pals get to play with their nukes, why can't he? No Kings protests were so joyous that the Pentagon is training 20,000 national guard troops to take them down. Meanwhile, ICE'S breaking ribs and taking names of Antifa suspects, and deporting journalists out of any place they might be reporting from. Central casting fascist Greg Bovino kept his cyanide capsule in his pocket as he got out of daily questioning by enemy judicial forces. Merrick Garland woulda shoulda coulda.

A truck full of deadly virus-infected "aggressive" lab monkeys were released in a crash in Mississippi. It's about time, right? In fact, doesn't it feel a little late in this disaster of a timeline for that kind of event? Anymore, a thing like that feels like some sort of shitshow oasis. David Waldman has already shown some signs of infection this morning, but Greg Dworkin remains hale, and hearty enough to dredge another a raft o'stories from the dismal fen of Ex-Twitter. Fewer people like Donald K. Trump. More like him less. Tariffs that were to hurt the other guy, foreign and domestic, have been discovered to hurt them as well. Generic Democrats come to the rescue of the American economy. Gops have ways of dealing with those nasty polls, and one way is to simply cease to be and allow the scum to float to the top. Judges are now the last line of defense. A federal judge has decided that Bilal Essayli can't be U.S. attorney for the Central District of California just because the Senate has never selected anyone for the job. Another federal judge demands that violent recidivist Greg Bovino wear a camera and report to her each day. The Ninth Circuit en banc bench continues to block Trump's Portland invasion. The House is trying to fund SNAP because having the National Guard put down food riots might image badly heading into the midterms. South Korea takes satire further than South Park would ever dare, handing Trump a gold crown and a bottle of ketchup. Satire can never catch an administration that keeps male veterans from getting coverage for breast cancer,,, What, hasn't Pete Hegseth banned nipples in the armed forces yet? Meanwhile, Ken Paxton sues Tylenol until he can figure out how to jail mothers of autistic children. In local news… maybe not local to you, but local to somebody, Jay Jones' texting scandal hardly hurts him, let alone Abigail Spanberger. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, on the other hand, hopes the Zohran Mamdanimentum always rolls her way. Andrew Cuomo not only hopes people will remember him next week, but he also hopes they can find him on the ticket.

A catch-up Monday! Pop quiz: Did you already know about the three presidency-ending corruption scandals… just from last week? Greg Dworkin gets us grounded with his Abbreviated Pundit Roundup. All the news you can eat in one hour! All the pre-game punditry comes to an end soon enough in Virginia, New Jersey and New York City. That VA AG race remains tighter than most of the other ones. Canada is soory, not soory, eh? But the bottom line remains that Trump is wrong about Reagan and tariffs. He just is. In fact, he's just wrong about tariffs in general. But then again, he's wrong—well past the point of lunacy—about a lot of things. He's even wrong about how he targets "enemies" for his special punishments. Maybe that's why he had to have his head examined. As the government shutdown continues, ACA insurance premiums are set to become the source of the first widespread pain delivered to the middle class by this intentional Republican failure. They just don't care. And it's not clear that debate is a real tool for changing that. Stephen Miller and Pam Bondi ended last week with new threats to investigate and prosecute Democrats they don't like, claiming it's a felony to hold federal officers accountable if they break state laws. But no, it's not. Are you still using AI? The Russians won't stop, but you should! Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead, and so is the East Wing of the White House. Melania is actually said to be unhappy about it. But Michael Wolff may make her unhappier still, by turning the litigation tables on her.

David Waldman talks about the things you wanted to hear about on today's KITM! Greg Dworkin found some polls floating in the sewage over at ex-Twitter. They indicate that Dems are way up. Now, people still hate Democrats, but they despise Republicans, which could lead to midterm wins if Republicans allow voting to happen. R Paul LePage is winning in Maine, but D Jared Golden is putting the effort in. In the Senate race Graham Platner will be getting his past lasered off and is presently doing quite well. To guess at who will win in Virginia, watch who is resigning now. Zohran Mamdanized Andrew Cuomo in their second debate and gave him a kick out the door. Donald K. Trump opens his Pacific theater of operations in order to serial murder fisherfolk and possibly curtail “the ocean drugs and the sea drugs, drugs by sea they call it also”. (The president was of course referring to the deadly drug “chloroquine”) After the trawlers are cleared out, Trump can pump the Pacific on to the Portland fires. The mind-rot algorithm destroys minds around the world, including those doing the rotting. Mike Johnson thinks inflatable frogs have it in for Hakeem Jeffries. Lindsey Halligan wants this, and everything prior to this, off the record. John Fetterman must have meant to say that Trump is stealing $230 million because of his small balls, it just doesn't make sense any other way.  Trump will demolish anything to put his thing in its place. The East Wing is the thing he is demolishing this week. Planning only gets in the way of the demolishing. Demolishing will become easier once the economy is out of the way. Don't worry, Democrats have a word they've been focus grouping and are almost ready to deploy. Senator Jeff Merkley had 22 hours and 36 minutes of words to say against Trump doing such things.

David Waldman is back to sort out the weekend chaos. Belated RIP to Ace Frehley, yet Greg Dworkin is back in his New York groove today, presenting links from Ex-Twitter, which, alas, is still with us. Not long for this New York mayoral race world is Andrew Cuomo, whose absence won't be felt like Curtis Sliwa, world's easiest interview subject. Silwa voters aren't part of the Mamdanimentum, btw. No Kings rallies had a very nice day. Several million pleasant people at a few thousand locations made their presence known to everybody other than the New York Times. Sadly, in these days and times, terrorists will inevitably show up wherever large groups of patriotic Americans gather. Terrorist in Chief, Donald K. Trump wishes he could have been at all of them. Kenny Loggins is pretty certain that Trump is more of a bottom gun, but Mike Johnson believes that Donald is just perfect the way he is. Trump notes that the Constitution plainly states that he's allowed to be king, just like 50 or 60 of his predecessors did 1000 to 1500% of the time.  Unfortunately, he could be right. It turns out that the test for enemy terrorist drug runners is the same as the test for witches: If they float, they are innocent. Marco Rubio betrayed drug gang informants to get the El Salvadoran prison deal. Trump is betraying American ranchers to pay off Argentina. Australia discovers that they aren't on the good end of the kickback seesaw. JD Just Dance Vance was almost taken out by a Marines artillery shell. No way could his ear have withstood that.

David Waldman delivers another two hours of merriment and erudition. Unfortunately, Greg Dworkin's construction project is in its final stages, so his time was necessarily restricted. Vile, deplorable, Nazi-loving young Gops are… exactly that, as anyone related to, acquainted with, or standing behind them in Arby's will tell you. The White House looks into the mirror and sees nothing. JD Just Dance Vance says that under 40-year-old boys will be boys. Mike Johnson kinda digs the bad boys but has his son's number in case he goes overboard. BUT!! ...WHAT ABOUT Jay Jones? BUT!! ...WHAT ABOUT Graham Platner? New Jersey is what New Jersey was for a while now. John Fetterman, however, has changed, and so should his support. 2,500 No Kings protests are set for this Saturday. Republicans who hate America will hate you for going to these things. Luckily for us, Democrats are filled with love and are law-abiding patriots with sympathy and trust abounding, and this will be plain for all to see. We are a bit late, though. At least if the intent is to prevent a monarchy. That ship has sailed, along with the budget. The budget is whatever Donald K. Trump says it is, to whomever he has said it to, until he says differently. All professional and amateur sports will be relocated to St. Louis, Missouri. What's left of the IRS will be pursuing anyone who ever checked a “D” box in an election. Sure, that's “a crime”, but try telling that to our new Sheriffs of Nottingham.

David Waldman survived to Wednesday! He can breathe again! Greg Dworkin has been adding the finishing touches on his home renovation yet still had the time to tow in a raft o' stories for us today. With government shut down, Democrats have even more time to convene focus groups to work out what their thoughts might be on a given subject. Perhaps the next poll will lend some clarity to their subsequent moral stand. “Pollingism” is trying to follow to where you guess people are heading. “Magnetism” is deciding to lead to where you believe people should go. Magnetism is at the center of Zohran Mamdanism. Young Gop leaders obviously do not focus group their statements and only speak from the heart. Donald K. Trump kills 6 more people and dares anyone to try to stop him. “You and whose army?” takes on a new meaning as Trump assembles his own troops.  Los Angeles County declares a state of emergency over immigration raids, so FEMA better load up. Meanwhile, unfortunately, the National Guard has something constructive to do after Typhoon Halong devastated western Alaska communities.  The Trump Supreme Court draws the line at Alex Jones.

David Waldman brings us one day closer to… whatever that is up ahead. Greg Dworkin is still renovating yet still has time to drop by for a chat. Donald K. Trump has a new can of gold Rust-Oleum waiting for his Nobel Prize this Friday, but first he must attend to his conquest of Portland, the crushing of his adversaries, subjugation of the masses, etc. His commands, spoken face down in his morning oatmeal, are then relayed to Nikolai Yezhov, or in his absence, Stephen Miller and the She-Wolf of the DOJ, Pam Bondi. The government shutdown has now riled Democrats into actually walking over to Republicans and asking them questions. It's pushed Marjorie Taylor Greene to the point of empathy. It's even made Chuck Schumer… ornery. It might even help save health care. There's even a possibility that it might save the United States. What's in it for Trump, though? The war between the states front has moved from the courts, to right outside the court, to right over to the judges themselves.

David Waldman returns to take another whack at the week, with Greg Dworkin taking a break from his myriad construction supervision duties to chip in with the latest facts and opinions. Today's news: Things are awful and will get worse. In this environment, if Democrats stood still, they'd end up looking progressively less bad.  But hey, Dems are better than bad — they're good! Caring about others might just work for us this time, as people who don't care about others are also getting screwed. Also, the Gop pro-cruelty message becomes less convincing when some of the cruelty gets on them. Pam Bondi, She-Wolf of the DOJ, went to Congress yesterday to add more people to Trump's shit list. First through the gate is James Comey, who is not going willingly. Comey's indictment has a few “fatal flaws”, not the least of which is the chief prosecution witness will be the chief defense witness. Grand juries would prefer to indict ham sandwiches rather than the people being sent their way. Meanwhile, jackboots march across America. Trump has Texas declare war on Illinois. If Portland isn't burning now, just wait until the B-2s drop by. Americans don't want this. The Pope doesn't want this.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring us another KITM from under another cloud of another mass shooting or two or three or four. The shooters look pretty Trumpy, therefore the national focus will be more on the venue, at least until we get a better look at what's been Sharpied on the bullets. Meanwhile, the Keystone ICE yakety saxes their brand of terror through major cities… though suddenly not Portland, Oregon as Trump either TACOs or snaps out of his dementia, temporarily. National Guard troops will now be redeployed to South Park, Colorado. The disappointingly non-fictional Donald K. Trump promoted a completely fake Trump hawkering a phony product.  Whether Trump believes anything he says or not, you are expected to believe it or else. The QAnon Shaman says he's the rightful president. At this point, he could be. James Comey's indictment is real, but the case against him is imaginary. Everybody will lose if the government shuts down. Trump will pretend to win or blame it on trans people. As long as Mike Johnson pretends that Adelita Grijalva hasn't been elected, MAGA can pretend that Trump isn't in the Epstein files. Over at Epstein Alley, aka the “Rose Garden”, they're living the dream. Moldova! Like their language, now and forever! Eric Adams is not so forever but won't soon be forgotten.

David Waldman is back at it, but without Greg Dworkin who is out working on home renovations. Donald K. Trump wants Russia to give Ukraine back some of its cards so they can play another round. If that doesn't work, he will just call Ukraine “Uzbekistan” and sell them 22,787 Dreamliners. It's not just that Trump is nuts, he's stupid, and dangerous. At least the cornfield kid wasn't such a whiner! The UN escalator worked just fine for Nobel Prize winner President Obama. Trump's UN address was a tragedy of Shakespearian proportions, performed by an actual fool. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark... Whether tis Putin or not Putin, that is the question. Oh look, there's some Russian warplanes over Alaska… probably nothing. Trump's youth support has faded. At least with those who didn't vote for the Lulz. The problem with being an edgelord is eventually the edge. Trump will always redefine the edge as the middle to solve that problem.  Meanwhile, we head toward another government shutdown. Gops see this as a chance to shut down government, which is the only reason they even get up in the morning. They'll eventually hire them back again, so they can have the satisfaction of firing them again. Ken Chesebro is so dishonest and inept of a lawyer that he's been disbarred/suspended in several states, now including Washington DC. Trump will never make the mistake of hiring someone like him ever again. From now on, all of Donald's dishonest and inept lawyers will be babes. Trump Bible and Turning Point USA sales representative Ryan Walters will be watching porn on his own time from now on.

See? It wasn't the end of the world! David Waldman, and Greg Dworkin are back on the air! So is Jimmy Kimmel! That is all thanks to “We the People”, and not just those of us who were binging as fast as possible to maybe get around to cancelling Disney+… and we would have too! But also, those standing up to ABC from everywhere to demand accountability, including people that they actually knew and cared about. Donald K. Trump will not be tuning in. (He totally watched every minute.) Many stations still won't air the show. Did you know that “stations” still... “air” ... “shows”? Everyone agrees that Trump seems to have experienced a massive “masterstroke” at the UN yesterday, perhaps a series of them. Donald will be autopenning his posts for a while. We also welcome back Jeffery Epstein, who became impossible to suspend, either by executive or royal decree. Arizona's special election could give Dems enough votes to make Mike Johnson's job holding fig leaves in place a lot tougher. Let's see Trump Article 2 himself out of this one! Ryan Walters, Trump Bible salesman-superintendent, wants Turning Point in every Oklahoma high school and Charlie Kirk statues in every state university in the US. Sounds like a design job for some Etsy Witches.

Greg Dworkin took a break from supervising the construction of his new walk-in shower to join us and KITM and David Waldman for our Thursday chat. Trump had Jimmy Kimmel disappeared in broad daylight yesterday... ABC wanted to do its part in building the national information hegemony and FCC chair Brendan Carr was happy to lend them a hand, one way or the other. Every person that Trump wanted to anger or sadden has been angered or saddened by the news. Teddy Roosevelt would have been against this treason, and the monopolies too. Oh no, now Stephen King too! Now ABC has been cancelled! (It's the Australian one though, as if that mattered to Trump.) In order to streamline the administration's persecution efforts, all “woke” will henceforth be known as “Antifa”, and illegal. All “Groypers” will be “Leftists” until further notice.      Charlie Kirk hasn't yet been added to the Pledge of Allegiance, because Trump has dibs on that slot. They might mandate that his tiny little face be etched into all Confederate statues though. Why can't Democrats manipulate the masses like Charlie? Gavin Newsom has never met an angle he didn't like, and Charlie sure had a few.                                                    The difference between the mortgage fraud Scott Bessent and Bill Pulte's parents are accused of, and the mortgage fraud Lisa Cook and Letitia James are accused of, is that theirs is nonexistent.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin voice the patriotic, uplifting, free thinking that this nation needs and deserves. Accept no substitutes! You know Tyler Robinson. Tyler can check that box off, although you, and humanity in general seem to be an abstract concept to him.  What outsiders don't get is that Tyler loaded his rifle with skibidi bullets to join the Pepe elite in brain rot Valhalla… And, to show the sort of love that only he and Mark David Chapman can truly understand. Utah Governor Spencer Cox hoped this wasn't about him. None of us do. Plenty of others where Tyler came from. Some people think of Charlie Kirk as an inspirational, encouraging speaker. Some people see him as a speaker who inspired and encouraged violence and hatred. Charlie demonstrated how one could be both. Plenty of others where Charlie came from.  No one can say a bad word about Kirk. Not if they want to keep their job… or life. Kari Lake has noticed that school shootings keep occurring at schools. MAGA knows that no true MAGA would ever commit a violent act, and anyone who says so won't see tomorrow. MAGA was too lefty for Charlie, and Charlie was too lefty for Groypers.  That makes Donald K. Trump the FDR of our time, except from the shoulders up rather than the hips down. There also are a lot of things that Trump fears more than fear itself. For instance, Trump is hiding from Chicago down in Memphis, while ICE attempts to sucker punch the wind out of the Windy City. South Korea has Trump filling his pants as if they designed the assembly line. Everybody seems more scared of Trump than Brazil was of Bolsonaro. Kathy Hochul endorses Zohran Mamdani. It's about time, and it is the time.

Ever wake with a start and wonder what David Waldman thinks about a subject? How about Greg Dworkin? Rest easy, they're both here today! Booooooooo! Donald K. Trump hiked, or maybe was carried on a litter, to a quite local restaurant in order to win a food-related dare from a reporter. (He'd eat anything if you dared him to.)  You'd be amazed at what some people will do if you are their source of food. Hey! WHERE the WHITE women AT? Always on the lookout, Donald located one in Charlotte, North Carolina, which is lucky (for him) as surprisingly, white women are worth 6 times more than a black woman! Nonetheless, non-whites and Democrats sure add up if you can keep scoring. Speaking of two weeks, that is when you can expect the Epstein files, as Dems keep racking up their scores and Trump suuuuuuucks. Until then, Trump's art of the birthday card will carry us through. Jim Jordan doesn't buy it. Jim knows that Trump was running for president in… 2009… that's about 10 years since Jim began crying like a dog and begging people to keep him out of jail. A Federal judge blocks Trump from the firing of Fed's Lisa Cook, for now. There's only so many rush orders that the Trump Supremes can handle. The Zohran Mamdanimentum continues to roll along. Turns out that Jewish New Yorkers are not anti-Semitic.  Congrats to Oliver North on his marriage to Fawn Hall... no that's not her… not her either, nope… There she is! Ah, that might be why Donald wants to get back to the seventies.

David Waldman catches us up on the multiple disasters since Friday. Greg Dworkin catches us up on the multiple disasters since Thursday. Boooo! Trump was booooooooed at the US Open. If they don't want to hear boos, they shouldn't invite Trump. Or Winsome Earle-Sears. Tiny hands, deep throat, Donald K. Trump was an FBI Snitch according to Mike Johnson, the last guy anyone would trust to keep a secret. The Miami Herald and New York Times seek to unseal records on Jeffrey Epstein's estate, while we all know that Jeffrey Epstein and everyone on the Epstein list has been brought to you by capitalism.  Zohran Mamdanimentum continues as Americans are beginning to see capitalism about as badly as they do Trump. LG Energy specialists squeezed into 90+ day rotations to set up a Hyundai battery plant in Georgia were caught in violation of that “+” part, were belly-chained and hauled out of the country. The plant they were setting up won't be hiring Americans any time soon, thanks to Karen-Republican Mar-a-Lago wannabe Tori Branum. Don't expect to hear more from Branum but do expect a lot more plants to be shut down. The Department of War begins its Midway Blitz, which is not a war, it is simply a police action. Why do so many Republicans think Trump is more liberal than he is? If people die in Florida because of lack of vaccines, it will be a surprise to Florida Surgeon General Ladapo. RFK Jr. will have seen it all coming, as he always does a year or so later. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists will save lives in the future by ignoring the CDC today. Ironically, the owner of one of the most punchable faces in politics, Scott Bessent, keeps wanting to punch others in their faces. This time it was the quite punchable Bill Pulte and for the same reason as Scott picked ever punchable Elon Musk. Scott heard both were bad mouthing him to Donald. Scott almost took Bill out, back there on the cement slab they have over the White House septic tank. E. Jean Carroll won her judgement against Trump again.

David Waldman calls 'em like he sees 'em. Greg Dworkin calls 'em like they was. But they ain't nothin' till KITM calls 'em. Roll call! Thomas Massie is joined by empathetic Democrats and a few traumatized Republicans in a discharge petition to force a floor vote on his “Epstein Files Transparency Act.” Nancy Mace was so shaken that she almost forgot who her daddy was. Epstein survivors float release of an unofficial client list, but with all this talk of Epstein victims, will anyone remember the Epstein victors? RFK Jr. tried to sell Senators his snake oil but found few takers. Florida Surgeon General Joseph Ladapo earned his Black Florida Republican bonafides, urging Floridians to earn their PhDs in virology before it's too late. The West Coast Health Alliance will ally to maintain west coast health. Putin, Xi and Kim aren't waiting around and are planting their organ orchards today. Harvard wins! Trump's freeze on research funds was declared unconstitutional. Where did you get the idea that they've been losing all this time? Probably from the same place that led you to believe this was all about antisemitism, when the DOJ's lawyer is a Nazi-stan?  Trump is making the losers taking votes from Andrew Cuomo into winners in the hopes of stemming the irrepressible Zohran Mamdanimentum. NASA's problem has never been a lack of brilliant people; it is their lack of hardball lobbyists. Job cuts are the worst since the pandemic, and you wonder why Trump is blowing up boats?

Hey, it's Labor Day, and you know what that means! Well, it might mean that Trump is dead, but probably not. It does, however, mean that you're getting less Greg Dworkin today. Also, less me! But because we're bringing you our September 3, 2024 episode to keep you company for the holiday, and because September 3, 2024 was a Tuesday, you'll get to hear good ol' Joan McCarter's voice again! If you're wondering why I started the summary so oddly, well, you'll get it once you see how the summary for the original show went. You see, it started like this... Hey, it's the day after Labor Day, and you know what that means! For one, it means that it's Tuesday, which means that not only is David Waldman back live, but so is Joan McCarter! Also, it's the day that millions across the nation awake in the morning, crawl out of their burrows, see their shadows, and realize the need to figure out who they will vote for. Kamala Harris and Tim Walz have already risen to the challenge, while Donald Trump and JD Vance extended their weekend. By the way, Snopes states that no one has yet verified that the specimen jars carried by Trump supporters contained “fake” JD Vance semen… I guess they need local couch cushions for a match? That awkwardly segues us into Trump's promise to make government socialistically provide IVF treatments for gay couples and single cat ladies. Good for him! Although Donald might not have considered how his stance might affect IUI families, and the sensibilities of his Vice President, or even his previous Vice President. Meanwhile, the Harris-Walz team heads to Florida with a clearer stance. September also is the beginning of Congress's legislative sprint, although there really wasn't anything keeping them from starting earlier. House Gops now have only a few weeks left to impeach Joe Biden.  If you had time set aside to head to Bedminster to attend the gala in honor of January 6th rioters, or have your photo taken giving a thumbs up standing on Donald Trump's freshly dug grave, you will be disappointed as both events have been again postponed. Public school teachers, already overworked and underpaid, are now expected to perform surprise sex change operations on their students.