Book of Boredom

** #127 Alma 10: Morgy ** :: You gotta have food at the Morgy :: Alma 10 prompts Gigi to ask AI what a Mormon orgy would look like. Benjamin confirms that you definitely need food at an orgy. And Patience has her mind blown when she learns that shredded carrot can be put in jello to make a salad. Smitty gives lawyers a hard time in this chapter, so we have 2 lawyers-in-recovery to serve it back to him! Sister Gigi felt prompted by the Spirit to write a poem after learning what a morgy might look like: :: Morgy :: | This now lives | in my mind rent free | thanks a lot | Chat GPT. | | Things I cannot | now unsee. | Thanks a lot | Chat GPT. Upon hearing the episode before it's official release, Brother Jones commented: "Ferrets, not weasels. Acid, not mushrooms." If anyone wants the full story, it was episode "#074 Melting Room, Angry Ferrets" where we read the only chapter of Omni. https://bookofboredom.com/episodes/2022-06-09/ Also, if anyone else is just like Sister Gigi and wants to know more about Brother Benjamin's life, go check out the podcast he does with his friend Lauren that we briefly referenced. It's called "The Examined Lives (ENM Vibes)" podcast. Mormonism comes up frequently during the first season of it. https://pod.link/1767688018 #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #126 Roasting Saints 26: Magic Finger ** :: History Obfuscating Verb :: Patience and Jones tear the "Saints" podcast a new one. Mouse adorably gatecrashes the conversation. Jones achieves peak rant. And everyone has a pretty good time! #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #125 Alma 9: Face Off! ** :: The boring BUDDY-COP sermon without the BUDDY :: In this episode, Gigi and Patience dive into Christmas propaganda, and the eternal struggle of being a Lamanite in a Nephite world (or vice-versa because in a refreshing twist, Alma doesn't seem to see much of a difference in this chapter). Patience gets a job, then is fired for calling out someone's religious hypocrisy. And Gigi, suggests a career change as an "AI wrangler", like the kind potentially employed (but probably not) on the Church's suspiciously perfect "Light the World" campaign. The same campaign website has a silly "Kindness Randomizer," tool to suggest useless things to do over Xmas (that only make sense if you transposed the 1950s into 2024). Stuff like, making art for your dad, or sending a kind text. Gigi suggests productive ideas like "take in homeless people", or "clean your damn room." Patience suggests dad probably just wants 5 minutes alone. The duo tackle Oakes' recent devotional speech where he addressed accusations that LDS parents in Utah are excluding non-LDS peers from socialising with their spawn. Gigi suggests it's probably less intentional, and more a result of always being at church activities. But the real star of the show is Alma 9, where Alma and his "toy boy" Amulek deliver a fiery sermon full of threats, repetition, and stiff-necked insults. Gigi and Patience dissect the chapter, and Alma's obsession with being "cut off from the face of the earth", and his twist in favor towards the Lamanites. Turns out, God likes them better than the Nephites in this town, who are apparently just too blessed to function. But ultimately God seems to hate everyone he has made. Why doesn't he blame himself? The episode wraps with a wild tangent about Joseph Smith's probable adoration of itinerant preachers at tent revivals, his aversion to hard work, and his genius for turning religion into a lucrative business. Gigi and Patience fantasize about starting their own church, the "Church of the Big Fuck You," where tithes are replaced with "fuck you money." #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #124 Alma 8: Amulek breaks Alma's fast (and his back) ** :: Y'all get sleeveless garments for Xmas! So sell your sleeved garments on Depop? :: People try to make maps of the stories from the Bible and the Book of Mormon. But there's a difference. Smitty doesn't use real place names. So don't bother trying to picture any of the travels in Alma 8. Even true believers draw half-hearted squiggles. :: Apart from Alma 8, we discuss: :: In the last LDS General Conference, "Temporary Commands" were introduced as a way to explain away inconsistencies in Mormon revelation. Sister Patience thinks that's a new way to make your head explode. The LDS Church is buying up truckloads of land in Australia. So much in fact it may trigger a law change on how much land can be purchased in one go by a foreign entity. Brother Jones and Sister Patience imagine what a Hypercolor Graphic Novel edition of the Book of Mormon might be like. Sister Patience discovers a 70 person town in the center of Australa comprised entirely of Mormons: Mulga Bore. The air in Salt Lake City sucks right now because of a high-pressure system trapping all the temple dust (among other pullutants). Mouse (the ironically named massive dog) still drags Brother Jones outside for a walk. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #123 Roasting Saints 25: The One Shitey And Wrong ** :: It's not the size of the steeple that counts :: Brother Brandon is back to explain Church History, Property Lines, Dallin Oakes, Death Canes, Joseph's prophecy about "The One Mighty And Strong", and the new LDS "trans guidelines" and how they may affect Mormons. Sister Divchina tells how The Church is in the process of excommunicating Nemo the Mormon, although no one seems to know why they waited until now. Was the straw that broke Moroni's back to suggest it's not the size of the steeples that count, but the ordinances? Is Church President Rusty coming with a giant steeple, to upgrade all those temples that don't have them? Sister Gigi becomes a mechanic, refurs a giant polar bear plush toy, and tries to watch "The Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives". :: Commenting on the 25th episode of the LDS "Saints" podcast: :: Long before anyone wanted to "drain the swamp" in Washington DC, the Latter-day Saints wanted to drain the swamp in Nauvu. As usual, Joseph Smith's help was intangible. Although he did tirelously "encourage" the Saints to not die in the malaria bog. Poor Joseph, that must have been tough. The talking heads on the Saints Podcast seem to think people knew their Bible better in the 19th century than today. Sister Patience thinks that is complete horseshit. The amusing story of how Joseph asks the US president for some cash, and gets shot down! #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #122 Roasting Saints 24: Old Steve Harper Had A Farm ** :: Oh no no no no! :: Today Brother Jones and Sister Patience mock episode 24 of the LDS "Saints" podcast, where Ben and Sarah are joined by church bigwig Steve Harper. A man with a smoothly deep and condescending voice, that could so easily be smoothly deep and sexy if he wasn't a Mormon. Steve talks so confidently about things that don't make sense, and Ben and Sarah think it's fantastic. And in an alternate universe they probably would have blown him straight after the recording. :: Highlights: :: "Porn Shoulders" and their origin story. Brother Jones sings an improved version of the Christian Chorus classic: "Our God is an Awesome God". The daily allowance of the word "cunt" is exceeded. Joseph Smith makes a dis-track. BYU prepares to open a medical school, and the memes roll in. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #121 Alma 7: Bowels of Mercy ** :: Shitteth down from Heaven :: Brother Benjamin and Sister Patience discuss the latest Mormon related news, and then read Alma 7 where Joseph unmercifully shits "bowels of mercy" over every reader. Here are some "highlights" from this terribly poor chapter of the Book of Mormon. The only changes to the quotes are ALL CAPS and new-lines for emphasis. :: Alma 7:7 - What are they beholding x 3? Why is "they" not "them"? :: For BEHOLD, I say unto you there be many things to come; and BEHOLD, there is one thing which is of more importance than THEY all - for BEHOLD, the time is not far distant that the Redeemer liveth and cometh among his people. :: Alma 7:12 - Joseph rambling so hard he repeats himself. :: ... that his bowels may be filled with mercy, ACCORDING TO THE FLESH, that he may know ACCORDING TO THE FLESH ... :: Alma 7:19-20 - I perceive a false prophet, besotted with wordy pompous prose, contradicting himself. :: For I perceive that ye are in the paths of righteousness; I perceive that ye are in the path which leads to the kingdom of God; yea, I perceive that ye are MAKING HIS PATHS STRAIGHT. I perceive that it has been made known unto you, by the testimony of his word, that HE CANNOT WALK IN CROOKED PATHS; neither doth he vary from that which he hath said; neither hath he a shadow of turning from the right to the left, or from that which is right to that which is wrong; therefore, HIS COURSE IS ONE ETERNAL ROUND. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #120 Alma 6: Library Emergency ** :: Gideon Gideon Gideon :: Sister Gigi recounts a library emergency, and encourages Sister Patience to run for some kind of local office. They read Alma 6 and discuss recent Mormon related news. Verse 7 wins silliest verse from this chapter: " ... into the valley of Gideon, there having been a city built, which was called the city of Gideon, which was in the valley that was called Gideon ... ". Joseph Smith repeated the location of the city, all while sounding "King-Jamesy", because he was a regular human, and a conman, not inspired by an un-erring god. :: Church News Discussed: :: Growth in LDS membership is hot in Africa, but tepid in the United States. Someone commented on the Salt Lake Tribune article: "Church growth is mainly in uneducated third world countries? I guess the collective IQ of the church is in a death spiral." The church increases the "Young Single Adults" cut-off age to 35. Is that a fancy way of saying "we're running out of marriage material"? In Tonga, the church has a sit-down chat with the Prime Minister. Seems the church is lobbying to ensure they stay part of the education-to-job pipeline, because that's a membership pipeline too. In the MormonShrivel subreddit, some data was posted that charts the decline of members in the Bonneville Stake of Salt Lake City. It's interesting data, but since the church gerrymanders ward and stake boundaries so wildly that politicians are probably jealous, it's not hard proof of membership decline. Another Redditor had the subjective observation that only 30% of Mormons wore their garments during some recent July 4th celebrations. This seems like progress. It's too hot to wear that shit. God wouldn't want you to wear them either. It's anti-life during Summer to wear extra underwear with silly Masonic symbols on them. Keep it for winter where there is a fleeting chance it might be practical. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #119 Roasting Saints 23: Fresh Outta Spoons ** :: Religious Freedom is not Heathen Subjugation :: Brother Jones and Sister Patience dissect episode 23 of the LDS "Saints" podcast. An episode packed with nonsensical "faith affirming stories", that when given a minimum of contemplation become "faith removing stories that have no place in a history book". :: Also Irreverantly Discussed... :: The first 2024 Biden vs Trump debate. Louisiana's new law to put the 10 Commandments in classrooms. Pride month activities. The "spoon analogy". #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #118 Alma 4-5:30 A dingo ate my Book of Mormon ** :: and shat it into the Waters of Mormon :: Brother Benjamin and Sister Patience read 1.5 chapters from Joseph's Smith's tome of dingo shit AKA the Book of Mormon. They had a good time with it. Sister Patience sets the record straight. A dingo really did eat an infant in 1980. Australia's shitty legal system bungled the evidence, accused the parents of killing their child, and sent them to prison. They have since been exhonerated. But the parents never totally lost the stigma of "baby killer", despite overwhelming evidence they were not at fault. Let's hope humanity learns how to do the law better. On a lighter note... Dingoes are adorably cute! They have big ears, look like dogs, but don't generally bark like domesticated dogs. Should they be called dogs? Maybe. Dingoes can interbreed with domesticated dogs. As usual we discuss recent Mormon happenings, like how Rusty needs his faithful followers to go merge church-and-state so he can have the tallest steeples around. Why does Jesus need a tall steeple? Matthew 27:51 indicates that God's prescence is not confined to a temple, because the temple veil was miraculously wrent when Jesus died. Jesus isn't even at the top of a Mormon temple steeple. It's the graven image of Moroni. I guess Mormons interpret the 3rd commandment (from the Ten Commandments), in their own unique way. Mormons would be more relatable, if they were more Christlike as indicated in this heavily paraphrased story Jesus told in Matthew 25:41-46 Then God said to those on his left, "GTFO, go live with Satan!" I was starving and thirsty, and you ignored me. I was a stranger and you didn't welcome me. My clothes were threadbare, and you did nothing. I was sick and in prison, and you didn't realise how lonely I was. Those on the left of God then replied, "Whoa, where did that come from?" So God explains, "You never showed any love for the other humans I put you on the planet with. Living with other humans is the ultimate test, and you failed! Your innaction of kindness was like an innaction of kindness to me." #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #117 Roasting Saints 22: Mormon War Never Changes ** :: A mob of their own :: This episode is about the 1838 nastiness called "the Mormon war". We pull apart what the Saints podcast says about it, and also add a few extra tid-bits. It wasn't the first scuffle, and it won't be the last, as we make our way through early Mormon history. In a 24 hour period Joseph Smith's attitude goes from "fight like angels", to pleading with George Hinkle to "beg like dogs for peace". Why do people call Joseph a prophet again? #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #116 Roasting Saints 21 and Alma 3 ** :: Waffle of Mormon :: As Joseph Smith loses his focus repeatedly in Alma 3, and the scribe rolls his eyes and continues to write - THINK CELESTIAL. When Joseph Smith introduces racist doctrine, and then incase anyone might explain it away continues to reiterate - THINK CELESTIAL. When Joseph Smith makes up a stupid new word like "Ishmaelitish", or goes infantile and literally calls people "good" or "bad" - THINK CELESTIAL. When false-prophet Rusty gets even rustier because all the speakers at General Conference keep sucking his metaphorical and unprophetic phallus - THINK CELESTIAL. When you thought you were finally out of that unhealthy Masonic underwear, and the heavies at General Conference tell you to put them back on, and to waste your time alive doing nothing in a temple - SAY "NO", AND THINK YOUR OWN THOUGHTS. When Joseph Smith tries to tell you that Communism is God's will, follow Oliver Cowdry's example and RESIGN FROM THE CHURCH. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #115 Alma 2: Too Many Captains Spoil the Plane ** :: Happy MORMON Xmas on APRIL 6! :: This Chistmas episode, that includes our mockery of Alma chapter 2, was 3 months in the making. Sorry. But on the upside, it's just in time for a popular date in Mormonism for Christ's birth - April 6! We hear a wide variety of Christmas traditions, funny stories, and a few serious ones, based on the disparate cultural and religious backgrounds of the guest hosts. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #114 Roasting Saints 20: Nibble Nobby's Nibley ** :: Before Smitty Nibbles Yours :: In episode 20 of the LDS Saints podcast, we are presented with the Kirtland Safety Society. A bank that Smitty false prophesied would become the biggest swinging dick around, and eat all competitor cocks (banks). Nothing went right with this venture, and many unfollowed him on X (formely known as Twitter). Yet, Smitty was so charismatic, he still managed to have his first extra-marital affair, that he justified with a secret marriage. Why secret? I guess God thought that was an excellent way to show his people the example they should follow. Hang-on, that doesn't make sense. Maybe it was just easier than divorcing his legal wife Emma? Or maybe this never happened? Or maybe the truth is in between? For a cult that prides itself on being the "Standard for Truth" (see the title for episode 1 of Saints), why is the truth so full of bullshit? If all that seems like a faith shattering downer for any God fearing Mormon (because it is), the hosts of Saints add a little saccharine in the form of all the "miracles" happening overseas. And by "miracles" they mean "converts to Mormonism". These aren't miracles, just bad ideas spreading. Like so much of human history. :: Mormon News Discussed: :: Apostle M. Russel Ballard died at age 95. And we were only just talking about him on the last episode! Rusty appointed a new apostle to take Ballard's place - Patrick Kearon. Poor fucker. That guy now has no agency in his life until he dies. :: Brother Jones teaches Sister Patience about: :: The fun times that can be had with initials and apostle names. The Fallout-style vault where the LDS church keeps all it's most precious records. It's at 6279 Little Cottonwood Canyon Rd. Unfortunately, there isn't a good Google street view of the facility because the road past the gate is private property. How early European converts were lied to and enticed to move to the US, to work for the cult in various ways, with little hope of upward mobility. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #113 Alma One: Poke the Bear ** :: Neee-Hawww and Gideon have a preach battle :: Don't worry, Neee-Hawww AND Gideon die! :: Mormon related news discussed: :: Homelessness in Salt Lake City. How do you help people? Benjamin, Gigi and Patience each have different perspectives. James Huntsman's fraud case against the Church is being appealed (naturally). Brother Benjamin explains where the "Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals" sits in the United States judicial system. The October 2023 LDS General Conference! Rusty phones-in an alienating message, and Dalin Oaks looks like a Cheshire Cat that's licked the cream! Brother Benjamin and Sister Gigi explain the whole "Tim Ballard" fiasco. Since this podcast recording in early October 2023, LDS Apostle, Melvin Russell Ballard (no relation to Tim, yet key to the story, yes it's confusing) has died at 95 years old. So Rusty will be announcing a new Apostle to take his place soon. Assuming the 99 year old lives long enough to do that. :: Key amusements from Alma One: :: The gang learn about Priestcraft, sort of. A word that Joseph Smith invented, and that you'll never hear in a mainstream Christian denomination. Smitty kicks off his new book by jumping straight to the action, and then spends half the chapter rambling the back-story he forgot to put in sequence. Grammar left the building. Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Pronoun Problem. Again! Neee-Hawww and Gideon have a preach battle in which Gideon dies. Oh, and not THAT Gideon from the Bible. And not THAT donkey that spoke to Balaam. Alma Jnr is High Priest AND Chief Judge, which sounds a lot like "king" where there isn't seperation of Church and State. :: Memorable Quote: :: SISTER GIGI: "History is written by the victor..." BROTHER BENJAMIN: "... and fiction is written by the author." #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #112 Mosiah 29: Boredom Shared, Burden Halved ** :: Presented by Friends in Iniquity :: Sister Divchina joins Sister Patience in reading the final horrible chapter of Mosiah. They also discuss the poorly regulated "troubled teen industry" in Utah, which sadly stole the life of 17 year old Taylor Goodridge on 20th December 2022. ** "Things" learned from Mosiah 29 ** Joseph Smith loves non-specific pronouns like "things". Everyone else can't tell what he's talking about. Derivations of the word "expedient" can be used to make anything sound authoritative. The word's meaning is irrelevant. If you get bored during one of Smitty's run-on sentences, find a place to pause (good luck), and interject "In the bedroom!". The results are often amusing. Your mileage may vary. God is like a Twix bar. The pitfalls of Smitty's theocracy mixed with democracy outlined in this chapter. It's a structure that the church tries to use today. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #111 Mosiah 28: Hyrum Smith's Sunglasses ** :: The people of the run-on-sentence of Limhi :: Brother Jones and Sister Patience try to read Mosiah 28 with a straight face (not possible), and also discuss recent Mormon related news. ** A Slightly Interperative Summary of Mosiah 28 ** The people of Zerahemla had "great anxiety" and were "desirous beyond measure" to know the history of a dead people group. So King Mosiah used Hyrum Smith's Sunglasses to aquire this information from some etched metal plates. Old King Mosiah couldn't bestow his kingdom on one of his sons, because they all wanted to pursue careers as missionaries. Everyone was happy to see them go too. It's not like there was high-demand for them in primary food production, defence, or in the skilled trades that built and maintained their advanced civilisation. But with so much joy, there was also deep sorrow. For these new converts, who had never committed any crimes, were apparently "the very vilest of sinners" before their conversion. And "they suffered much anguish of soul because of their iniquities". Their wives thought this was a lot of emotion and superlative for a lifestyle of skipping church for a few beers with friends on the weekend. So, they were thrilled to lose the dead weight. The endless religious discussions and naval-gazing had become an imovable hindrance around the home. :: Mormon News Stories Discussed: :: Drifter steals 4 chicken nuggets from amazing fully equipped LDS Ward kitchen. The real crime here is that this kitchen has only ever been used for producing generic Mormon-Pot-Luck(TM) meals. LDS donates 48 million to alleviate hunger. They could donate 1 billion a year and still grow their capital by a very large margin. Court overturned a former judgment, and allows James Huntsman's fraud case against the church where he alleges LDS used tithes wrongly. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #110 Mosiah 27: Alma son of Alma ** :: Hilarity with Charity! :: In preparation for this recording, Sister Charity ruined her Youtube search history with Mormon research. Thank you for your sacrifice! She contrasts the latter-day-cult with her own experiences of growing up as the spawn of pentecostal missionaries in the Philippines! Since there were two lawyers on the show, Sister Patience asked Brother Banjamin and Sister Gigi about some ways the legal system might be improved Mosiah 27 itself didn't fail to dissappoint, so expect amusement as the team roasts it mercilessly. :: Key (Dissappoint|Amuse)ments: :: Smitty's "the that thou" tongue twister. An angel with a thundering voice who forgets to announce being sent from God, until the end, where it sounds really unconvincing, even with all the thundering. Much to the confusion of everyone, Smitty kept his lies easy to remember by naming Alma's son after his father! C'mon even the Old Testament managed to lie better than that! He could have at least added a "Jnr" to differentiate. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #109 Mosiah 26: Welcome to Insane Peaks ** :: Total Assets $1,000,000 ($38,000,000,000) :: Brother Jones and Sister Patience blaze through a chapter, best described in the Book of Boredom group chat: "Jones and I just read 39 verses of some of the most boring bits of this entire shitty thing. WELL DONE JONES! We're nearly half way thru the BOM!" ~ Patience :: What is this chapter like? :: This chapter is like calling a contact-centre, and being redirected 5 times before the line finally drops, with no solution. This chapter is a bleeding example of the waste inherant in collectivism. This chapter is a game of "Pass the Parcel". This chapter is an example of how to hold a religious inqusition where no one dies. So, "yay!" for "no murder"! That's one small step for Smitty. This chapter mirrors modern day Mormon excommunication practices. Gee, I wonder where they got it from. Smitty just took 2 steps back. :: Other key points: :: Two true stories, where bad ideas from religion resulted in OCD, or OCD-like symptoms. Trump makes his way into 26:25. The church built a MODULAR TEMPLE! Ahaha. Tell your faithful Mormon parents about the Gospel Topic Essays. It's a mitzvah for their brain health! They will cause so much brain activity, that Alzheimers will be staved off by at least a decade! #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #108 Mosiah 24-25: Nephite As a Second Language ** :: Amulon was a NASL teacher :: Brother Benjamin and Sister Patience get two chapters closer to the end of this abysmal book of Mosiah. We also loop back to some verses from the last chapter that made no sense, as Brother Benjamin interprets the atrocious prose. :: Key Amusements Include: :: Quote from Brother Benjamin: "I do not understand what is going on with this book." Who the fuck is Zenif again? The Book Of Mormon Rangers Return! Brother Benjamin tells us about his latest trip to the Burning-Man-esque "Element Eleven". Sister Patience tells about the "Dark Mofo" festival in Tasmania that made the news, and Brother Benjamin goes down a google rabbit-hole reading about it. God doesn't embarrass easily, clearly. The overtly repetative and full-of-fill Mosiah 24:23 - "And now the Lord said unto Alma: Haste thee and get thou and this people out of this land, for the Lamanites have awakened and do pursue thee; therefore get thee out of this land, and I will stop the Lamanites in this valley that they come no further in pursuit of this people." Smitty could have just written, "God said, leave quickly, the Lamanites are now awake and pursuing you, but I will stop them in the valley." Arghhhhh. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #107 Mosiah 23: Ask your bishop if Amulon is right for you ** :: Ignore the boredom and try AMULON :: In a last-ditch attempt to get Mosiah out of their lives, Gigi and Patience continue on to Mosiah 23 without a short stop roasting the "Saints" podcast. Don't worry, it will be roasted later, but right now it's in the fridge. Alma says: "Kings are bad", then says, "Well, they would be fantastic if only all kings were nice". From that, Smitty can still say whatever he wants later about himself. God decides to show how wonderful he is by not doing the obvious thing of saving the people who follow him. No, God decides to put his people into bondage, just so that he can save them later. Like a confidence trickster. Oh, and Amulon. Actually, if you just do whatever you want on Sunday, you won't need it. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #106 Mosiah 22: Gideon got Back! ** :: The back pass, thru the back wall, on the back side, BAAAAA. :: Sister Gigi and Sister Patience read the implausible escape story that is, Mosiah 22. Oh, and the wilderness continues to be a miraculous, yet un-mappable abyss where just about anything can happen. :: Our co-hosts also chime in on: :: The recent ban of the Bible in primary schools of the Davis school district in Utah. Chris Christie joins the fray to be US President. Tractors with AI and LASERS to kill weeds! AI in code generation, and the legal system. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #105 Mosiah 20-21: The burgers are better at McTemples! ** :: And behold also there was a General Conference! :: Brother Jones and Sister Patience have some fun with the gaffes from the April 2023 LDS General Conference, then proceed to read Mosiah 20 and 21. :: A few of the stupidities: :: Smitty gets carried away with his "beholds" in 20:19. And behold, it was hilarious. The Book of Mormon is a (shitty) fantasy novel, so it's only fitting that Smitty refers to fighting like "dragons" in 20:11. However, he also forgot that his story is not just fantasy, but also fan-fiction of an earlier work: The Bible. And in so doing, created continuity issues with a beast God never created. The "Flirt to Convert - Convert to Marry - Marry to Fuck" pipeline. The anti-ASMR of gulping down Smitty's horseshit. More McTemples! #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #104 Roasting Saints 19 ** :: Temple Zero :: On "Saints" episode 19 they discuss the dedication of the Kirtland Temple. A historic site currently owned by the The Community of Christ sect of Mormonism, rather than the main "Motherchurch". The dedication sounded exactly like a regular Pentecostal mass-hypnosis session, complete with charismatic speakers that everyone seemed more than happy to listen to for hours at a time. Smitty and Rigdon must have felt so validated as they regurgitated King James style bastardisations of the English language to such a captive audience. This first temple is a far-cry from the Masonic hybrid that Mormon temples have become. So naturally, they wheel out the ye-olde "line-upon-line" explanation, as a hypnotic trigger to let themselves off-the-hook for any cognitive dissonace. Ben Godfrey even convinced himself that Smitty received the plans for this white-box by devine revelation. A design so simple, that if it were red, would resemble a hotel playing-piece from the board-game "Monopoly". He even name-dropped the Joseph Smith Papers website where we could check out the revelation for ourselves. Turns out it was just DNC 95. Ben seemed so sure that even the interior was described. It wasn't. Instead, Smitty just says what activities are to be performed inside his silly white box. If the Mothership ever manages to purchase this thing, I wonder if they'll stick a giant bathtub in there, and a stupid video describing Masonic handshakes? #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #103 Mosiah 17-19 ** :: Lim-Hi now available in Orange and Grape flavors! :: Brother Benjamin is back, and we're powering through another 3 chapters of A-Grade Christianese Babble. Smitty even advances his story in between all the meaningless religious phrases he endlessly decorates his verses with. In chapter 19 we finally meet Limhi (again). We first met him in chapter 7, but from chapter 9 it's been the implausible backstory of his nation. Or is it a town? Yet it supports a king with an army and guards. Guards who can't spot a dissident, out in the open, baptising people. Guards who need to surround an unarmed docile prisoner, already in custody, in order to place him back in his cell. Have fun as Smitty sends his characters in and out of the generic "wilderness", and how they somehow bump into each other out there. Smirk as flames cannot shutup the verbose Abinadi who decides to give a sermon while burning alive. Book of Boredom: keeping the Book of Mormon silly, because it is. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #102 Crazy Wacky Mormon Shit ** :: Get to the Temple and Drink the Koolaid! :: There's been a lot of crazy wacky Mormon shit in the news lately. Sister Divchina and Brother Ed, have been researching it all, so that YOU (and Sister Patience) don't have to! This might turn into a regular series, because the news stories seem to be breeding like, well... Mormons! :: Covered in this episode: :: Lori and Chad Daybell. Are they killing everyone by natural causes? Rusty Nelson's Temple Ritual Changes. With declining numbers willing to operate these monstrosities, Rusty streamlines your trip through hell with some automation. What's next? AI Joe? Heather Gay, from the show Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, comes out as a "Bad Mormon". Michael Haight kills everyone because his marriage breaks down. A giant statue of Joseph Smith finds a home in India's World Peace Dome. Whatever the fuck that is. They take a guy, who formed an army (albeit poorly), and put him in a "peace dome". Weird. Due to the war in Ukraine, imported leaders of the LDS church in Russia have escaped back to the US. Leaving the remaining Russian Mormons to realise, that if they can't practice English with native speakers over pot-luck meals, why go to church? Random silliness from the Bishop's Handbook. Sister Divchina has a very odd conversation in a library. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #101 Roasting Saints 18 ** :: The Erection to Revelation Pipeline :: In this 18th instalment of ROASTING the "Saints" podcast... We hear Keith Erekson PhD from the Church History Library, explain to poor Ben and Sarah, how the Book of Abraham came to be! The hosts were clearly surprised by some of Dr Keith's horseshit. Perhaps most baffling was his explaination of how the book it still inspired by God! Supposedly, the source for The Book of Abraham is a particular Egyptian papyrus. The same very papyrus that has since been translated in real "uninspired" ways by Egyptologists, and is known to be a funerary scroll titled "Hor Book of Breathing". Nothing even remotely to do with Abraham. But Dr Keith ignores all this, and incorrectly says it contains words re-copied from earlier works originally written by Abraham (the OG Hebrew Patriarch). Aside from ROASTING "Saints", Sister Gigi tells a vomit filled story, full of alliteration and hilarity; and later even draws the basis for today's episode artwork, live while recording! As usual Sister Patience couldn't help herself and vectorised/modified it a little. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #100 Mosiah 13-16: How ugly on the mountains... ** :: ...are the feet of those who publish horseshit. :: Welcome to our 100th episode! And to celebrate, we've done something quite different. Which is just as well, because King Noah seems totally fine to remain silent while Abinadi preaches a damning and soporific sermon. This includes reading aloud the 10 Commandments from an unspecified document that he miraculously has access to as a prisoner. Also, Smitty decides to fallback on his greatest hits, and regurgitates more chunks of Isaiah. So naturally, we couldn't let him get away with it... Enjoy! #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #099 Roasting Saints 17: Meet the Mormons ** :: Then, free their press out the window? :: After this episode... If you still think Smitty is a prophet, when he cannot get anything right - seek treatment! If you still think the word "Mormon" is a slur inspired by Satan, when the "Saints" podcast uses the word to refer to themselves every episode - seek treatment! If you still think "Saints" is a serious history book - seek treatment! If you know Sarah Eyring from "The Mormon Channel" - is she still a true believer? Asking for a friend... #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #098 Mosiah Chapter 12: This isn't like a fortune cookie. ** :: Simile Curse, Similar Story :: This week Smitty stretched forth his hand (like a dumbass), and Socratically masturbated to Braille porn until ziff formed the shape of yet another dress-up story. We asked if there was DNA evidence, but he'd already burned the garment to a crisp, and said unto us, "Nay!" #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #097 Roasting Saints 16: Thrilled ** :: with special guest Skeletor Rusty! :: Today we roast episode 16 of the Mormon Channel's "Saints" podcast. Their historian guest was Jed Woodworth Ph.D. A man who thinks that Phebe Peck, and by extension other Mormon women, were so "thrilled" to be able to read the prophet's words semi-directly in the ye-olde Mormon newspaper, that they just had to evangelize by writing letters to friends exhuberantly. A man who thinks these early Mormon women were excited to order their lives under Smitty's prophetic voice. A man who summarised the story from Acts Chapter 2 so innaccurately, that if the first 2 points didn't make you question everything he said, this would. I guess like most Mormons, he read Smitty's sequel 50 million times, and never bothered much with "Volume 1 - The Bible". #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #096 Mosiah 11: WTF is Ziff? ** :: The Excitment of Dead Action Role Play in Mormon Temples :: Brother Jones tells about a new "big fuck-all temple" being built near him, lit up at night with what sounds like a headache inducing amount of light. Brother Benjamin and Brother Jones recall their personal experiences in Mormon temples. Jones specifically tells how when LARPing in a temple for the deceased (or is that DARPing?), the rituals are completed in sections, and done in batches. and the LARP includes sitting through a 3 hour video in one part! Sister Gigi asks ChatGPT3 to improve The Book of Mormon. And, no surprises... It does! Joseph Smith visits his iniquities. And the team try to work out what "ziff" is (Mosiah 11 verses 3 and 8). #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #095 Roasting Saints 15 ** :: Dying Alone on Video Chat :: We're really treated this week on "Saints" episode 15. Elder J Devin Cornish, from the Quorum of the Seventy, lends his sleep inducing voice to the inane rhetoric. If only he'd let Sarah Eyring say more, instead of overtalking her. I mean, it still would have been rhetoric, but it would have sounded beautiful, at least to Sister Patience. The Elder references the wrong scripture as inspiration for Doctrine And Covenants 76. He mentions John 5:39, but he mixed it up with John 5:29. One character different. Very different content though. Guess he was speaking "as a man" there and not "from God". Here are the two verses from the King Jimmy version: John 5:39 ~ "Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me." John 5:29 ~ "And shall come forth; they that have done good, unto the resurrection of life; and they that have done evil, unto the resurrection of damnation." Smitty and Rigdon invent group improvisation, and "yes-and" themselves to D&C 76. William McLellin gets "dragged" by the "Saints" hosts for: Questioning Joseph. Leaving his mission early. Marrying instead of completing his mission. Accompanying (or leading?) a company of 100 Mormons to settle in Jackson County against Smitty's wishes. Buying land from the Government directly, instead of participating in Smitty's Communism Scheme called "The Law of Consecration". Rigdon literally gets dragged, and along with with Joseph is assaulted by a mob, in a disgusting display of vigilante "justice". The assaulted had been shitty; and in the absence of better law-enforcement, the assaulters felt permitted to punish them with emotionally fuelled violence. That's the wrong way to address grievances in ANY era. Shitty people on all sides. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #094 Mosiah 10: 2 Percent Hope ** :: Your study guide to walking away from Joseph Smith's cult. :: Mosiah 10 is so stupid. True believers have read this horseshit a billion times, but they're clearly not really READING it. It is its own worst enemy! :: Key Stupidities: :: In verse 6, Smitty incorrectly uses the word "rebellion". The ruling people cannot rebel against the ruled. Zeniff dies, and his parting words to us in verse 22 include: "And now I, being old, did confer the kingdom upon one of my sons; therefore, I say no more." If you were writing important history, that sentence should have read, "I confered my kingdom upon my son, Noah." It's even less words. Why would a king not tell us which son he crowned? Their lineage is very important to them! Sister Patience calculates Zeniff's age at 54 when the "rebellion" happened. And there can't really be anyone in his "city", much older than him. So where are all these old men that he summoned to fight in verse 9? Joseph was clearly having an absent minded day of "translating" because, the last two-thirds of the chapter is littered with the confusing overuse of personal pronouns. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #093 Roasting Saints 14 ** :: The Unprofound Guide to Revelating Coherantly :: As we amuse ourselves with the 14th installment of the "Saints" podcast, we find ourselves reading a few passages from the first anti-Mormon book: Mormonism Unvailed. That's not a typo! Hear Lucy and Abigail Harris' opinion of Martin! The book is from 1834, and can be read online here: https://archive.org/details/MormonismUnvailed1834/ The book was referenced in the episode, and contains a side of the story that even ex-mormons may not have heard. :: Other Topics: :: Ezra Booth, the tenacious ex-mormon who was a thorn in Smitty's side! Letters that he wrote are included in "Mormonism Unvailed". What will Sister Wendy do when Rusty dies? Incase anyone is interested, the music played under the reading is from a Gilbert and Sullivan Comic Opera called "Patience". The artwork for the episode is a photo of Lillian Russell who played the title role in an 1882 production in New York. Sister Patience has not seen this musical yet, but while searching for something spritely it stood out. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #092 Mosiah 9 Isn't Fine ** :: Joseph Smith makes us seasick as he jumps around in time. :: Smitty decides to go back and tell us another implausible story about Zeniff: a man who still seems to get lost in the wilderness after being lost in the same wilderness before. What a leader. Brother Jones and Sister Patience discuss Karianne Lisonbee, the Utah House Rep (and Mormon) who trusts women (to limit their intake of semen). Something she never did as she polluted the world with her 6 homeschooled spawn. https://www.sltrib.com/news/politics/2022/11/10/heres-who-utah-senate-democrats/ We get some figures to backup Prophet Nelson's Potempkin Temples: he's announced 118, only 2 of those are open. https://www.deseret.com/faith/2022/11/6/23411363/how-many-lds-mormon-church-temples-announced-by-president-nelson-open/ El-duhhh Christofferson wants the believers to pump their spiritual muscles, and try really HARD not to read the entire article as a euphemism. https://www.thechurchnews.com/leaders/2022/10/27/23426589/elder-christofferson-ysa-devotional-cedar-city-institute-muscular-christians/ Rusty says "We will build temples. You will build people prepared to enter them." Ahaha, really Rusty? The photos are hilarious. Everyone looks so depressed. Rusty talks about the internet, and he really shouldn't. https://www.thechurchnews.com/leaders/2022/11/13/23457052/president-nelson-nevada-devotional-temple-preparation-president-ballard/ #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #091 Cooking the Silly Book ** :: Just add chalk and cheese. :: Sister Patience hosts a watch party for the 60 Minutes expose of Australian LDS tax practices titled "Cooking the Book of Mormon". 60 Minutes managed to say very little in 19 minutes of presentation, but what they did say was noteworthy. We probably have not heard the end of this story! Want to be part of a watch party in the future? Let us know! Our DMs are open. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #090 Mosiah 8: Lesbian Wedding Cake ** :: Lost in a land which had been peopled with a err... people. :: Brother Jones and Sister Patience tackle crunchy Mormon related news stories. Then they relax with the silliness of Mosiah 8. How did Joseph Smith not feel embarrassed, with the conspicuous way he wrote himself into this chapter? Astounding! :: Highlights :: Should horrible people be allowed to be horrible if they're not hurting anyone? The Hilarious Modern Mormon Myopia with Monogamy. Hmmmm. Brother Jones tells how he met Jesus (well, the actor that played him anyway...) Smitty warns his followers to stop trying to play with his "interpreters". #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #089 Roasting Rusty Nails ** :: Temples, Temples, Temples! :: Today we make fun of LDS church president/prophet/seer: Russel Nelson. Based on his speeches at the October 2022 LDS General Conference. :: Highlights :: The sound of Silky Misogyny. The Temples-Temples-Temples song! The hilarious confusion of Rusty's speech on "Rest". The preview Rusty showed at General Conference of Season 4 of the Book of Mormon video series. Too funny! #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #088 Mosiah 7 ** :: Friendship isn't General Conference :: Ammon and his "strong and mighty men" become lost in the wilderness. After 40 days without women they realise: it's not gay if they're underway (Mosiah 7:5). Smitty takes innane analogies to the next level with his Whirlwind of Poison (Mosiah 7:30). Sister Patience is surprised to learn that the Mormon General Conference is held twice a year. The Exmos tell her tales of how their families survived these sleep inducing events. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #087 Roasting Saints 13 ** :: A Partridge in a Prickly Pear Tree :: Today we listen to Saints episode 13, and roast it until charred. How can you tell if a prophet is speaking as a regular human, or as a prophet? At what point are they just false prophets? Mormonism doesn't know, so it's no wonder Smitty could swindle his way to the top, even when his revelations were repeatedly shown to be undevine. :: Key Comments: :: Leman Copley leaves the church, and tells the commie Mormons mooching off his land, to get out of his yard! Smitty keeps moving where God tells him "Zion" will be. So now we have "Zions". But the truth is, Smitty was not a prophet, and was a con-man. Seeing is not believing. Ezra Booth apparently joined Joseph Smith's crew because he saw him heal someone's arm. But Ezra clearly held prophets to higher standards than some of his peers. When Smitty's revelations didn't hold water, Ezra left the church. I guess he re-evaluated what once seemed like proof, to be much less. Joseph gets served some truth while canooing with "friends". #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #086 Christianese Proto-Waffle ** :: And it came to pass that Genetics says nayyyyy :: Brother Jones makes some shitty waffles. Smitty narrates his character of King Benjamin waffling-on, like a drunk telling a disorganised story recursively. I wonder why? We discuss the Founder Effect: the loss of genetic variation observable in isolated people groups established by very few "founders". Because they are isolated, the groups receive little or no new genetic information over time, from the larger population they are isolated from. The term is often used when the isolating factor is geographical, but the effect holds true when the reason is social (including religious). Infamously obvious in the birth defects of inbred royal families, such as the Habsburgs of the middle-ages. Much less pronounced, the effect has been cited as the cause of skeletal birth anomalies amongst the Amish of the United States. And as we discuss, the founder effect created by ye olde polygamous Mormon families cannot be doing anything good for their health. Especially when young men have a tendency to be excommunicated, and patriarchs collect wives like they are trapping Pokemon. :: Other High or Low lights: :: Jesus gives the best head (Mosiah 5:8). The dire consequences for amnesia (Mosiah 5:9-12). Smitty doesn't remember the 70000 Israelis that died the last time a Jewish king tried to take a census (2 Samuel 24), and narrates his King Benji character taking a roll call (Mosiah 6:1). King Benji remembers the people had houses after keeping them impractically in tents for no reason (Mosiah 6:3). #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #085 Roasting Saints 12: Disneyland on Crack ** :: And the beer tastes better in Utah :: Sister Divchina joins us once again, to tell us about her recent tour of historical Mormon landmarks! We debate the pros / cons of de-regulating marriage to the point of zero government involvement, no legal meaning, and the implications of that. Oh, and we have some fun with Saints episode 12 too. :: Trip Highlights: :: Beer tasting at a Utah brewery. Covering those bare shoulders, and blending in at Deseret Books. The statue of a beehive, that looked oddly phalic. Visiting Nauvoo, and experiencing the sideshow of Mormon sects forced to get along. :: Other discussions: :: The heavenly and physical unpaid labour of women. How fence in / fence out laws influenced the development of Salt Lake City. The lamest Mormon celebration ever - waving a white hanky around at the opening of a temple. AKA The Wanky Hanky. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #084 Mosiah 4: Indiana Joseph ** :: And the ventriloquist king! :: Indiana Joseph wants us to know that King Benji, and his silly angel are not ventriloquists. But primarily, he wants your stuff. All your stuff. And he wants you to BELIEVE so hard you might get a Cher song stuck in your head. Coz none of Mosiah 4 will stay with you. It's teflon coated, and says nothing new. It's pure rambling. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #083 Roasting Saints 11: In the Morridor... ** :: ...there is evil that does not sleep :: In the early years of the land of small government, Mormonism is so toxic, that the government steps in and tells the door-to-door Mormon salesmen to fuck all the way off. Oh, and so does Abigail Williams! Smitty rides into town, swinging his massive dick around, and Sidney Rigdon knows he can't measure up. So he puts his member away, and hands his members over to Smitty. :: Other Discussions: :: C'mon lawyers, get those class action suits against the LDS corporation in, help compensate victims, and let's bankrupt this mofo. Arizona: the crotch of Utah. The Morridor: a column of land choc-full of Mormons from Rexburg in Idaho, to Phoenix in Arizona. There is wickedness there that does not sleep. As a kid, Brother Jones' Boy Scouts troupe was so well lead by wilderness experts, that they only became lost in the mountains twice! #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #082 Mosiah 3: Bloody Clean ** :: A poetry slam at Ikea while scouring aluminium cookware with a Brillo pad. :: What can anyone say about this innane compressed wombat shit? Brother Benjamin said it best: "Yeah I don't know who the 'they' are either. Unless he's talking about the words themselves." #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #081 Roasting Saints 10: Mormons with Crobars ** :: I married into Mormonism, and all I got was this STD. :: Smitty tells Hyrum that in every generation there will be just one mouthpiece for the Church (ie "Shutup Hyrum this is my con!"). Come on Smitty! Even the later seasons of Buffy had more than one Slayer. We discuss the post-dunk "Confirmation Ceremony" where the baptized is given a gift of nothing (the Holy Ghost). Seems a bit cheap. :: Other amazing highlights that didn't warrant a paragraph: :: Meet Slumlord Mormon. Brother Benjamin and Sister Patience do gross ASMR while waiting for Sister Gigi to connect. Doctor Brad sees dead people, burns rubber, and becomes convinced his wife needs more air. The "new" alleged photo of Joseph Smith. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #080 Killdeer Burning Man Tent Revival ** :: Mosiah 2: E-Theth-Eth-Etheth :: God lends us breath (at a reasonable interest rate). Smitty steals his narrative (again). The Unquenchable-Heartburn of Guilt (God). Brother Benjamin tells more about the Regional Burn he attended. We all learn about a little desert bird called a "Killdeer". #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #079 The Roast of Susan Bednar's Husband ** :: Bednarator 2026 - I AM SCRIPTURE :: We take a break from roasting "Saints" this week, to roast an "apostle". Join us as we bang-out a shallow-dive into David Bednar's greatest analogies, and miraculous redefinitions. Can we find the ticking heart in the healthiest looking cyborg sitting on the Quorum of the Twelve? :: Memorable Moment 1: :: Sister Gigi: "He [Bednar] has a Masters of Arts degree in Organisational Communication. That just means if you were reading the book 1984 by George Orwell, this is the guy that's in charge of the Ministry of Information." :: Memorable Moment 2: :: Brother Jones' response to seeing the Singing Preacher from Poltergeist II (who is a dead-ringer for The Bednarator) "That's a lot of teeth right there!" :: Assorted Brownie Chunks: :: Mormon "Don't ask don't tell". Sister Gigi gives Doctor Brad a shitty xmas present. "This is REAL COFFEEEEEE!" What's in Utah's sewer water? Dating comiserations reveal The So Called Church's main draw card. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #078 Let's go camping, and get an abortion! ** :: Mosiah 1: A callback from the Plates of Ass :: Shirtless and Magnificent(TM) Brother Benji rewrites holy scripture. Brother Jones accidentally appears in episode 2 of "Mormon No More". And the Liahona makes a comeback, but Smitty hasn't named it yet, so it sounds really stupid. :: Other Riveting Banter: :: Things that are NOT the responsibility of politicians. Helaman and the Masters of the... Zarahemla? Sister Patience and Brother Benji profess their appreciation of actress Krysten Ritter. The word "hitherto" and its overuse in the temple presentation. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #077 Roasting Saints #09 ** :: Obadiah Dogberry Esq narrowly escapes the audacious power of Joseph Smith Bum-Leg Jr :: The team also discuss the strange LDS economics of New Zealand. To which the correct response is, "Isn't it all strange?" :: In lighter banter: :: Sister Gigi tells how she came into posession of Camilla the El Camino. Brother Benji prepares for a Burning Man style "Regional Burn". Sister Patience loses patience with the Mormon Stories podcast. Sister Gigi defends it (1) as a sleep aid and (2) as background chatter while doing chores. Theme parks and immersive artwork installations. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.