Dear Sex

Today, Dr. Marcy Crouch talks to Wendy about a listener letter from a mother of two who is experiencing extreme pain during sex and other pelvic floor issues, even after giving birth over a year ago. Dr. Marcy Crouch specializes in physical therapy and women's health. She has dedicated her work towards creating programs designed for mothers and birthing persons everywhere.

Today, Wendy and Shaw speak on a listener's letter about addressing an avoidant attachment and how to commit to yourself - and your relationships. Noa Shaw is a life coach who has been helping clients for over 20 years in finding their life purpose and achieving their dreams. Shaw specializes in helping guide his clients from the depths of darkness into a life filled with beauty and light.

In this episode, Jacqueline Frances joins Wendy to talk about the ins and outs of sex work as an entrepreneurial career, how patriarchy is a cheap trick, and why sex work legalization is needed now more than ever. Jacqueline Frances, also known as Jacq the Stripper, worked as a consultant on the 2019 American crime drama film Hustlers to inform an accurate representation of the day-to-day on the job as a stripper and spark a cultural conversation. Jacq is an artist, comedian, and entrepreneur.

Today, Adam Neal joins Wendy to talk about body image issues that face men in the LGBTQ community. Together, they talk about practicing mindfulness in our bodies, tools for embodiment, using sex as a step towards healing, and how mainstream diet culture shapes self-perception. Adam Neal is a psychotherapist who focuses on topics like depression and anxiety to sexual challenges, and spiritual crises. Neal is the author of Bods Among Men. 

JoEllen Notte joins Wendy to talk about the intricacies of being in a relationship and having depression as well as how to show up for a partner with depression. JoEllen Notte is a writer and mental health advocate whose work explores the impact of depression on sex and relationships. Notte recently released The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations We Aren't Having.

In this episode, Alex Fine and Wendy deep dive into what it means to identify as a non-binary woman, pregnancy, and patriarchal influences in the sexual wellness industry. Alex Fine is the co-founder and CEO of Dame Products, a credentialed sexologist, and a member of Forbes' 30 Under 30 2018. She co-founded Dame Products to start necessary conversations, to listen rather than assume, and to create products that enhance intimacy.

Dr. Ashley Townes joins Wendy to share her expertise in studying the health disparities in the United States that create barriers and biases for Black women. Dr. Ashley Townes is a Postdoctoral Research Fellow at the CDC. She researches the sexual experiences of African American/Black women accessing sexual health information and services.

In this episode, Katherine Angel joins Wendy to speak about sexual expression and how it unravels in our relationship with ourselves and others. Angel is the author of the recently released Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again: Women and Desire in the Age of Consent and directs the master's program in creative and critical writing at Birkbeck, University of London.

Today, Wendy is joined by Janel Vitale as they address a listener letter about sex addiction and fluctuating libido. Janel Vitale is a certified sex and relationship coach, content creator, and Relationship Design expert specializing in empowering partners with differing needs & desires to design a win-win intimate life. Janel is based in the San Francisco Bay Area, but her work has an international reach through her TikTok channel @lovewithjanel.

Wendy is joined by Dr. Kim TallBear who speaks about the colonial influences in monogamy and how ethical non-monogamy can expand your ability to experience love and intimacy more sincerely. Dr. TallBear is the Canada Research Chair in Indigenous Peoples, Technoscience and Environment and teaches at the University of Alberta in the Native Studies department. Dr. TallBear studies colonial disruptions to Indigenous sexual relations.  

Wendy is joined by Paul Keable as they discuss a letter from a woman who is both a wife and a mistress -- the obstacles and thrills she is experiencing. Keable is chief strategy officer for Ashley Madison, the world's leading married dating website. He offers perspective from six years as a marketing leader for the popular web-based service with more than 70 million users in 50 countries.

Mia Fine is a Certified Sex Therapist who operates from the lens of Queer Theory. Fine works with their clients in navigating eroticism, intimacy, sexual health concerns, kink, LGBTQIA+ genders and sexualities, and non-monogamous relationships. In today's episode, Wendy and Fine discuss a listener's letter on LGBTQ identity and the feelings that might come with this self-realization.

Dr. Cheryl Fraser is a Buddhist psychologist, sex therapist, author, and speaker. Dr. Fraser has helped thousands of couples jumpstart their love life and create passion that lasts a lifetime. Today, Wendy and Dr. Fraser talk about exploring options for a couple grieving the loss of a child and how they can return to sex as a means for connection and healing.

Jordanna Levin is the bestselling author of Make It Happen and Higher Love. Through her wit, warmth, and street-smart practicality, she invites readers to get curious about the things that light them up. In this episode, Wendy and Levin speak on the power of mindfulness and self-awareness through astrology and manifestation and how these skills can help you meet potential matches online or in real life.

Dr. Peter Alilunas is an Associate Professor of Cinema Studies at the University of Oregon, where he teaches courses in film and media history and theory. Dr. Alilunas’s research investigates the historical intersections of industry, technology, and regulation, and uncovers forgotten or neglected histories of sexually explicit media. In this episode, Wendy and Alilunas talk about the complexities of explicit media, where it came from, when it started, and what we can do to make the industry more ethical.

Lisa Taddeo is the author of the best-selling book Three Women. Taddeo has contributed to The New York Times, New York, Esquire, Elle, Glamour, and many other publications. In this episode, Taddeo joins Wendy to speak on female rage, the Me Too movement, and sexual dynamics in relationships.

1 in 5 Americans has a sexually transmitted infection, many of which are unaware of their condition. In today's episode, Dr. Ina Park, an Associate Professor at the University of California San Francisco School of Medicine, Medical Director at the California Prevention Training Center, and a Medical Consultant for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)-Division of STD Prevention, joins Wendy to talk about Human papillomavirus infection, also known as HPV, and other STIs. Wendy and Dr. Ina discuss talking about STIs in your relationships, transmission, prevention, and more.    Learn more about Dr. Ina's research in her upcoming book release, Strange Bedfellows: Adventures in the Science, History, and Surprising Secrets of STDs.

If you have vulvar pain, you are not alone, in fact, it's very common. Stephanie Prendergast, MPT, who cofounded the Pelvic Health and Rehabilitation Center, which now has 9 offices around the country, specializes in pelvic floor dysfunction. Today, Stephanie joins Wendy to talk about basic pelvic floor function on a daily basis and during pregnancy and menopause. Listen in to learn how people with vulvar pain can work with their doctors to alleviate discomfort.

When our loved ones who have passed visit us in dreams, we realize our deepest joy and our deepest pain are the same. Rodger Kamenetz, the author of The Jew in the Lotus, the story of rabbis making a holy pilgrimage through India to meet with the Dalai Lama, joins Wendy to talk about dreamwork. Join us as Rodger and Wendy converse on the importance of not making meaning out of dreaming life occurrences and accepting the feelings you experience and tying them to your waking life.

What do you do when your intuition isn't matching the societal expectation set around sex as a young person? Lorrae Bradbury is the founder of Slutty Girl Problems and works to help women live empowered sexual lives. Wendy and Lorrae talk about what it means to advocate for your needs, reclaiming your sexual power, and the historical significance of the word "slut".

Having trouble navigating political differences in your relationships? Jan Dworkin is a PhD with 30 years of international, cross-cultural experience as a couples therapist and leadership coach. Today, Jan and Wendy talk about love and sex in strained romantic relationships and how to get to the root of it all.

How do you start to sexually experiment without feeling like you've lost control of the situation? Midori, educator, sexologist, and author of The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage, joins Wendy to discuss finding your own adventures in the bedroom. Listen in as Midori explains how we all possess the skill, experience, and knowledge to guide us on our sexual journey and how we can tap into that power.

Pain with sex is more common for people with vaginas than you might think. Dr. Jill Krapf is a board-certified OB/GYN specializing in sexual pain disorders at The Center for Vulvovaginal Disorders in Washington, D.C, and has seen it all. Instead of addressing one listener letter, Wendy and Dr. Krapf have a question and answer style interview to get you the answers you need to know on all things vaginal health.

Trigger Warning: Sexual AssaultHow do you learn to trust again after an assault? Dr. Tarra Bates-Duford is a forensic psychologist with nearly 20 years in the field of behavioral sciences. In today's episode, Dr. Bates-Duford poses the question: how can you use your story to empower someone who's suffering in silence? Wendy and Dr. Bates-Duford discuss how survivors don't fit one specific stereotype, how to mourn your past to move forward, and how to externalize your pain so you can stay present.

In a technology-centered world, where pornography is just a click away, learning how to navigate and incorporate this media into healthy relationships is art and science. Dr. Laurie Betito is a clinical psychologist with 30+ years of experience and the Director of the Pornhub Sexual Wellness Center. Dr. Laurie and Wendy talk about the nuances and differences between male and female-driven content, developing porn literacy, and how religious and societal frameworks have shaped its history.

What happens when a person with disabilities expresses a desire to express their sexuality? Jimmy Olsson, director of Oscar-nominated short film Alive (2020), sits down with Wendy to explore the key questions of negotiating the complexity of the basic human desire for sexual intimacy with individuals who face all kinds of physical and mental differences. Enjoy an inspiring and awakening conversation about the universal needs for intimacy.

Does having a sex dream about a past lover bring up feelings of guilt and shame? Anne Hodder-Shipp, a dreamwork specialist, talks to Wendy about why dreams shouldn't be a catalyst for worry. Instead, Anne discusses the many ways observing dreams can be a source of self-growth and healing.

Curious about what it takes to be in a relationship with more than one person? Dirty Lola, sex edutainer, and co-host of New York Magazine’s The Cut’s “Sex Probz” web series, talks to Wendy about the many different ways one can engage in ethical non-monogamy. The pair talks about the definitions that go along with dating multiple people and how these terms have nuanced meanings across generations.

Ever wondered how your sexual behavior impacts other areas of function? Dr. Tierney Lorenz is an Assistant Professor in the Department of Psychology and Center for Brain, Biology and Behavior at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Today on the show, she discusses how her research investigates these exact questions, as well how women with mental and/or physical health conditions can have happy, healthy sexual lives.

Emotional and physical pain are intrinsically intertwined when it comes to sexual dysfunction. Dr. Jessica Drummond, CEO of The Integrative Women’s Health Institute, has 20 years of experience working with women with chronic pelvic pain. Today on the show, Dr. Drummond walks Wendy through a systems approach to relieving pain based on stress balancing rest, mindfulness strategies, and more. [Trigger Warning: Generalized Mention of Sexual Assault.]

Wendy is joined by Detroit-based sex educator, journalist and artist Zoë Ligon as they break down the relationship between the Male Gaze in pornography and BDSM and how consent modalities bridge the gaps. Zoë is the proprietor of progressive online sex toy emporium, Spectrum Boutique, and brings a unique perspective to the discussion. 

How does heteronormativity define the boundaries of sexuality and inform its limitations in romantic relationships? Dr. Jane Ward is a professor of Gender and Sexuality Studies at the University of California Riverside and scholar of feminist, queer, and heterosexuality studies. Dr. Ward talks to Wendy about the limitations of straight culture and how the patriarchy forms our understanding of sexual identity and the relationships that follow. Listen in as they talk about the liberation that comes with queerness and the contrast of heteronormativity that often follows.

Wendy kicks off Season 2 with author and professor Tina Schermer Sellers, PhD, as they discuss the historical implications of sexuality and its relation to the merging of church and state in the United States. Tina's expertise is evident in her acclaimed book Sex, God, and the Conservative Church - Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy. Listen as she and Wendy debunk the cultural conditioning on sexual shame and offer resources for starting a healing process.

Today on Dear Sex Podcast, renowned relationship therapist Stan Tatkin joins Wendy as they deep dive into romantic attachments and how our primal needs drive them as part of our human condition. Tatkin is the founder of the PACT Training Institute and the developer of PACT—A Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy. Author of numerous books on dating and love, Tatkin understands relationships in many ways others don't.

Philip Shepherd is an internationally recognized embodiment expert and author. He travels the world teaching people how to ground their thinking in the calm, deep-dwelling intelligence of the body. Today on the show, Philip and Wendy discuss his studies of embodiment, the representation or expression of something in a tangible or visible form.

Understanding the reality of your fantasy can help you understand your emotional needs in intimate situations. Author and social psychologist Dr. Justin Lehmiller joins Wendy to address how dominance and submission dynamics in the real world are being carried over into our sexual worlds. Get to know yourself better by bridging the gap between fantasy and reality. 

Follow Wendy's discussion with nationally board-certified Clinical Sexologist and world-renowned Master Sex Coach Patti Britton. In this episode we discuss with Dr. Britton the multi-disciplinary study of sexology and its integrations in sex coaching. Sexual self-realization is centered around healing so you can tap into your wholeness and fully express yourself. Learn to deconstruct the taboo stigma around S-E-X so that you can begin having empowering conversations. 

GS Youngblood is the author of the book "The Masculine in Relationship," and a coach who helps men in relationships learn to live, love, and lead. Youngblood and Wendy talk about how men can learn to lead from their masculine core. By learning that the model of masculine power doesn't encroach on feminine power, couples can learn to respond in a manner that allows them to forge stronger relationships with oneself, and as a partnership.

Pelvic pain specialist Dr. Sonia Bahlani helps patients through comprehensive, personalized treatment plans aimed at addressing the issue from all angles to improve their quality of life beyond what they thought possible. Wendy and Sonia talk about finding the root cause of pelvic pain to better manage symptoms and start healing. Key topics include the importance of routine hygiene as good preventative care and learning to speak out when something feels off.

Wendy talks to Sally Kempton, teacher of meditation and yoga philosophy and the author of Meditation for the Love of It and Awakening Shakti. Kundalini is a practice and belief that the divine feminine energy in everyone is located at the base of the spine. Through Kundalini, our senses and minds can help us make connections to our sacred life force. Wendy and Sally discuss how when these elements are high, our sexuality can come alive.

Wendy talks to Joan Price, author and advocate for ageless sexuality. After the pain of grief, it might be hard to imagine being intimate again, especially if it's with someone new. Wendy and Joan converse about giving yourself permission to come back to sex, individually or with a partner, after loss. Through the process of bringing the mind and body together, you can choose life again.

S1:E8 | July 16, 2020 | 45 min. Wendy talks to award-winning author, columnist, sex educator, speaker, media maker, and podcast host, Tristan Taormino. Wendy and Tristan discuss the liberation that comes from infusing your sex life with the fantasy of surrender. Listen in to learn how you can use your boundaries as a trustworthy guide while you explore kinkier sex. The pair also talk about how having breakthroughs in your sex life can manifest into deeper physical, erotic, psychological, and spiritual experiences.

S1:E7 | July 16, 2020 | 31 min.Wendy talks with poet, teacher, and storyteller Mark Nepo, author of #1 New York Times bestseller The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have. Affirming that we are enough on our own and being honest with our truth is a landmark of finding real intimacy. Join us for a gripping conversation on the practice of reaching inward to renew our experience of life and in return reaching outward to renew our sense of belonging.

S1:E6 | July 9, 2020 | 34 min.Wendy talks to Dr. Susie Gronski, author of "Pelvic Pain, the Ultimate Cock Block" about the very common experience and silence around men's pelvic pain and sexual dysfunction. We know that men often feel judged by "performance" and rarely discuss the many physiological and psychological causes behind male sexual dysfunction. This is a fascinating dialogue about how the perception of pleasure and pain impact our sexual encounters and how unprocessed childhood erotic injuries can perpetuate sexual pain into adulthood.

S1:E5 | July 2, 2020 | 41 min.Reid Mihalko, a Sex and Relationship Educator and known as "America's favorite sex geek", joins Wendy to discuss a letter from a "Me Too" man. They talk about Reid's own Accountability Process, discuss what restorative justice might look like in this context, and whose voices should be centered in this kind of work. 

S1:E4 | June 25, 2020 | 42 min.Wendy discusses infidelity and what happens when you are the one who cheats, with renowned author and relationship expert Dr. Tammy Nelson. Listen as they discuss how infidelity is only one symptom of a relationship falling apart, not the reason for it. Hear how many couples have discovered ways to move forward from it. Plus, Dr. Tammy gives an effective tip to get more of the intimacy and sex you want in your relationship today. 

S1:E3 | June 18, 2020 | 53 min.Wendy is joined by renowned relationship therapist Marty Klein as they discuss our culture's obsession and complication of sex. Listen as they engage in a fascinating discussion about widening the conversation of how we ended up in this place in our relationship with sex and how our anxiety and assumptions, often made in adolescence, affect our relationships, sexual lives, and self-esteem.

S1:E2 | June 18, 2020 | 40 min.Lora DiCarlo is fueling the sex tech revolution with innovative micro-robotic massagers that have garnered huge attention - and OMG! accolades from women worldwide - during the past two years. Join Wendy as she and Lora get candid about blended orgasms, gender bias in the sex tech industry, and Lora's award-winning inventions.

S1:E1 | June 18, 2020 | 41 min.Wendy launches Dear Sex Podcast with friend and best-selling writer Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First (Harper Collins, 2004) and numerous other titles. Together they discuss a reader's letter about sexual scripts, the function and importance of fantasy, and how power dynamics outside the bedroom can impact your sex life.