Podcasts about conservative church erasing shame

Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers is a licensed sex and gender feminist psychotherapist, best-selling author, researcher, emeriti professor, and media personality whose expertise spans sex therapy, spiritual intimacy, parenting, medicine, and social justice.Her revolutionary perspectives have been expressed on platforms such as Spirituality & Health, Refinery 29, Vocal, Medium, and Bust Magazines, along with many podcasts, radio, news, and TV outlets. Known for exposing the impact of patriarchy and sexual shame on our ability to securely attach to our partners, and instruct our children to attach to theirs, Dr. Sellers' book Sex, God, & the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy has had a global impact. Her latest book, Shameless Parenting – Everything You Need to Raise Shame-free, Confident, Kids and Heal Your Shame Too! was a New Release Bestseller in eight categories. She speaks throughout the world on how to heal, and how to raise shame-free relationally confident children. In 2015, Dr. Sellers founded the Northwest Institute on Intimacy, a post-graduate institute to train psychotherapists, educators, clergy, and physicians in sexual health, healing sexual shame and trauma, and understanding their sexual biases. In 2023, Dr. Tina founded InannaRising.org - A private membership community for psychedelic-assisted therapists and medical providers to get ongoing clinical consultation, collaboration, training, and support in creating scholarships for the under-resourced, and participation in an Indigenous reparation fund. Dr. Tina can be followed on Instagram @DrTinaShameless.

Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers is a sex and gender feminist psychotherapist, professor emerita, and author of two best selling books Shameless Parenting - Everything You Need to Raise Shame-Free, Confident Kids & Heal Your Shame Too! and "Sex, God and the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy."

“Sexual shame causes profound wounding in people's lives, because it hurts in their ability to do attachment, to give love, and to receive love. They don't believe they are fundamentally worthy of love, and so they put up a mask. So if somebody loves them, they think that they couldn't possibly love me if they knew who I was. So that love doesn't get in.And then, the loving coming out is behind this mask, like, I'm going to do what I think you want me to do.It affects our ability to do attachment. And as a human one of my core desires is to be seen. known, loved, and accepted. And this interrupts that, at every level.”Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers is a licensed sex and gender feminist psychotherapist, best-selling author, researcher, emeriti professor, and media personality whose expertise spans sex therapy, spiritual intimacy, parenting, medicine, and social justice. Her revolutionary perspectives have been expressed on platforms such as Spirituality & Health, Refinery 29, Vocal, Medium, and Bust Magazines, along with many podcast, radio, news, and TV outlets. Known for exposing the impact of patriarchy and sexual shame on our ability to securely attach to our partners, and instruct our children to attach to theirs, Dr. Sellers' book Sex, God, & the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy has had a global impact. Her latest book, Shameless Parenting – Everything You Need to Raise Shame-free, Confident, Kids and Heal Your Shame Too! was a New Release Bestseller in eight categories. She speaks throughout the world on how to heal, and how to raise shame-free relationally confident children. In 2015, Dr. Sellers founded the Northwest Institute on Intimacy, a post-graduate institute to train psychotherapists, educators, clergy, and physicians in sexual health, healing sexual shame and trauma, and understanding their sexual biases. In 2023, Dr. Tina founded InannaRising.org - A private membership community for psychedelic assisted therapists and medical providers to get ongoing clinical consultation, collaboration, training, and support in creating scholarships for the under resourced, and participation in an indigenous reparation fund. Dr. Tina's websites and social media:https://www.instagram.com/drtinashameless/https://www.instagram.com/inanna_rising_pat/https://www.tinaschermersellers.com/https://inannarising.org/Shameless Parenting: https://www.amazon.ca/Shameless-Parenting-Everything-Shame-free-Confident/dp/B0BZF5865H/Sex God and the Conservative Church: https://www.amazon.ca/Sex-God-Conservative-Church-Intimacy-ebook/dp/B07252M2H2Reference: Audre Lorde reads Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic As Power https://youtu.be/aWmq9gw4Rq0?si=HopYif_ttLzfBosvwww.rachealcharlie.comIf you wish to support my podcast, it will be warmly received and appreciated here: buy me a coffeeIntro and outro music recorded, composed, and performed by Racheal Charlie.

We are rebroadcasting one of Janna's favorite episodes: her fascinating conversation with Dr. Tina Schermer Seller, a licensed therapist who specializes in sex and gender issues. Dr. Schermer Seller is the author of one of Janna's favorite and most recommended books, Sex, God, & the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy.In this episode, Dr. Schermer Seller discusses her research on the Christian conservative church and the rise of abstinence-only education and purity culture in the early 1980s. Her findings reveal that this shift has had significant negative effects on both women and men, impacting their ability to form meaningful and healthy sexual relationships.Whether you come from a religious background or not, this discussion will help you understand the global influence of this narrative on our lives and how we can begin the healing process.Find out more about Dr. Tina Schermer Seller and her books here: https://www.tinaschermersellers.com/Join the Waitlist for the next round of Doing It Together. ​Join Now.​Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more women.Learn about Doing It Together: Program details, schedules, testimonials, and Q&A. ​Visit now.

Talking about Sex with your partner, friends and sisters is one thing. Talking about it with your kids/grandkids is in another league altogether! If you feel awkward, embarrassed, uncertain or avoid conversations about sex in your home, you're not alone! Understanding sex positive parenting, and knowing how we can create a sex positive environment to live in are skills we haven't been taught. Good news is, it's not too late to start now!  Whether you have kids or not, your kids are tiny or have left the home, there's something for everyone to take away from this conversation! My guest is the perfect person to help us appreciate and create a sex positive, shame-free home.  Dr Tina Schermer Sellers, a licensed sex and gender feminist psychotherapist, researcher, is the best selling author of ‘Sex, God & the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy' & ‘Shame-free parenting: Everything You Need to Raise Shame Free, Confident Kids and Heal Your Shame Too'. Discover how to empower yourself and your children, and learn practical steps to foster a healthy relationship with your body and sexuality.  Our conversation is so valuable and juicy and includes:  What turns her on How she got into working in the sex positive education and research space How our worth and sexual shame are interlinked Her model that we can use to ‘Erase the M.E.S.S' Getting a good sex education, at any age.  How we can re-parent ourselves Your body as your home What does sex positive education look like. what contributes to a sex positive home Ideally how to raise a sex positive child What to do if you have grown children and you feel you could have done things differently How to understand the world our kids are growing up in now Examples of conversations we can have with children now How the influence of media and business is impacting our children and what we can do about it Her best tip for how we can make our home feel safe, shame free and sex positive You can connect with Tina via: https://www.instagram.com/drtinashameless/ www.TinaSchermerSellers.com www.InannaRising.org   DrTina@InannaRising.org Tina mentions Peggy Orenstein's books 'Girls & Sex' and 'Boys & Sex'.

I am thrilled to bring you this show with my very special guest Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers. Dr. Tina is a licensed sex and gender feminist psychotherapist, best-selling author, researcher, emeriti professor, and media personality whose expertise spans sex therapy, spiritual intimacy, parenting, medicine, and social justice. Known for exposing the impact of patriarchy and sexual shame on our ability to securely attach to our partners, and instruct our children to attach to theirs, Dr. Sellers' book Sex, God, & the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy has had a global impact. Her latest book, Shameless Parenting – Everything You Need to Raise Shame-free, Confident, Kids and Heal Your Shame Too! was a New Release Bestseller in eight categories. She speaks throughout the world on how to heal, and how to raise shame-free relationally confident children. In 2023, Dr. Tina founded InannaRising.org – A private membership community for psychedelic assisted therapists and medical providers to get ongoing clinical consultation, collaboration, training, and support in creating scholarships for the under resourced, and participation in an indigenous reparation fund. In my interview Dr. Tina explains the role of the patriarchy and gives you all the beginning tools you need to move past your shame and embrace a guilt-free life. Link to reference materials discussed in the interview https://bit.ly/NoSexShame

In this episode, Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers, a licensed psychotherapist, best-selling author, and researcher shares her insight on shameless parenting and our ability to heal while we learn alongside our kids. Dr. Tina and I dig into how sexual shame impacts our ability to form secure attachments and relationships. She shares her experience as a professor and noticing the shift as the first wave of "purity culture" took on a different narrative that was harmful to the students she was teaching. One of my favorite books, Sex, God, and the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy was powerful in helping me understand how and why shame is rampant in our culture, but often hard to notice.  And she has recently another book called, Shameless Parenting: How to Raise Confident, Shame free Kids and Heal Your Own Shame Too!Dr. Sellers emphasizes the role of parents in fostering shame-free environments for their children, regardless of their family makeup. She encourages open conversations with teenagers, addressing myths and stereotypes about sex, and prioritizing connection and pleasure over obligation in relationships. Dr. Sellers emphasizes the importance of ongoing learning, dispelling myths, and staying on the path of personal growth to lead a fulfilling life.Follow Dr. Sellers on Instagram at @DrTinaShamelessIn this episode:0:02:28 Dr. Tina Shermer Sellers bio 0:08:45 Healing Through Shameless Parenting0:27:26 Importance of Social and Emotional Learning0:32:51 Parenting Insights Beyond Traditional Family Structures0:39:39 Embodying Sexuality for a Fulfilling Life0:42:13 Connect with Dr. Tina on Instagram0:42:37 Dr. Tina's Podcast EpisodesAlthough this will be my last episode, please stay in touch! Check out what I have going  on @shannonhamaker on Instagram!Also on my website: shannonhmaker.com will share the latest and greatest in my offerings through coaching and retreats. Support the show

In Zoe's absence, I interviewed Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers, author of multiple books including Sex, God, & the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy . Her latest book is Shameless Parenting – Everything You Need to Raise Shame-free, Confident, Kids and Heal Your Shame Too!It's almost impossible to separate shame from sex especially if you were brought up in a religious household that preached abstinence until marriage. Or if your sex education suggested that sex was bad and that good girls shouldn't enjoy it. So it should come as no surprise that in later life, many women especially choose to stop doing it because if it wasn't pleasurable in the first place, why continue?What becomes clear during our conversation is that it's never too late to have pleasurable sex and to help our children grow up to have healthy intimate relationships and ‘heal through the paralysing prison of shame.'Instagram: @DrTinaShamelessFacebook: facebook.com/TinaSSellersLinkedIn: drtinaschermesellersFor booking go to: www.tinaschermersellers.com/contactSex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

For episode 23, Layman is joined by Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers, a sex educator and psychotherapist, to explore questions around gender and sexual development; the impact of shame on sexual development, and the relationship of shame and guilt; the problems in recent and contemporary sex education in the United States; the possibilities for a hedonic education; deeper forms of sexual identity and development available through tantra and entheogens; and much more. Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers is a nationally known speaker, educator, and writer on sexual health and the biopsychosocial-sexual impact of sexual shame and trauma. She is professor emerita of sexuality and marriage & family therapy at Seattle Pacific University. As a past board member for The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT), Tina is at the forefront shaping change in the lives of professionals and families. As a preeminent voice on the impact of abstinence education, purity culture, and the failure to provide comprehensive sex education Dr. Sellers is frequently featured on podcasts, TV, documentaries, articles, and radio, including Spirituality & Health magazine, and NPR's All Things Considered. In her acclaimed 2017 book, Sex, God and the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy, Dr. Sellers reveals how the western conservative church in collusion with American consumer-driven culture and politics, has infiltrated our core ability to attach to our partners and instruct our children to attach to theirs. Professional Website https://www.tinaschermersellers.com/ Shameless Parenting https://www.amazon.com/Shameless-Pare... Explore The Integral Stage on the Fathom app https://hello.fathom.fm/ Support The Integral Stage on Patreon!   / theintegralstage   Special thanks and big love to Shai Newman, the Limited Hangout guys, Brandon LaChance, Mike McElroy, Brandon Norgaard, Brendan Graham Dempsey, Francesca, and all of our other Patreon supporters!

Janna talks to the author of one of her most recommended books, "Sex, God, & the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy." In this captivating conversation with Dr. Tina Schermer Seller, a licensed therapist specializing in sex and gender issues, they discuss her research of the Christian Conservative church and the rise of abstinence-only education and purity culture in the early 1980s. This shift has had serious negative effects on both women and men, impacting their ability to have meaningful and healthy sexual relationships. Whether you come from a religious background or not, this discussion will help you understand the global influence of this narrative on our lives and how we can start the healing process. Find out more about Dr. Tina Schermer Seller and her books here: https://www.tinaschermersellers.com/

We are so excited to share this episode with you! This week Cortland and Meghan sit down with Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers and Chloë Abigail. Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers is a best-selling author, speaker, and researcher on sexual shame and healing religious sexual trauma. She is professor emerita of sexuality, and Marriage & Family Therapy, and the Founder of the Northwest Institute on Intimacy and Inanna Rising. She is the author of: Sex, God, and the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy and Shameless Parenting – Everything You Need to Raise Shame-free, Confident Kids and Heal Your Shame Too!   With a degree in the sociology of gender, Chloe Abigail is an accomplished and highly sought after editor at the intersection of sexuality, spirituality, and human thriving. She is also Dr. Tina's daughter. Their favorite past-time is sitting in the hot-tub and discussing all things sexuality, patriarchy, and life in the 21st century. We know our listeners will love this episode and the insights that come from this dynamic mother/daughter duo. If you want to skip #twitbits and head straight to the interview, jump to 27:20. If you enjoyed this episode, check out Dr. Tina's website, https://www.tinaschermersellers.com/, which includes links to her books and social media. You can find and follow Chloë Abigail at @TheGrammarGrimoire on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thegrammargrimoire/. If you enjoy listening to the show, please consider heading over to apple podcasts to rate and review us. If you really enjoy the show, we would love to see you in our Patreon.com/ThereafterPod! Also, look for us on social media and shoot us a message to say hello, or chat with us in Twitter spaces on Tuesday mornings in deconstruction coffee hour! Twitter: @ThereafterPod, @CortlandCoffey, @ThePursuingLife Instagram: @ThereafterPodcast, @CortlandCoffey, @ThePursuingLife

I sat down with Dr. Tina Sellers about the unfortunate legacy Christianity has with Sexual Shame. With both of us having backgrounds in faith traditions, I believe we share a distress that certain religious communities can't seem to find more sex-positive and effective approaches to such an important part of the human experience. We discussed the history and ramifications of sexual shame and some approaches people may find helpful in reframing these things in their lives.  Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers is a licensed sex and gender feminist psychotherapist, best-selling author, researcher, emeriti professor, and media personality whose expertise spans sex therapy, spiritual intimacy, parenting, medicine, and social justice. Her revolutionary perspectives have been expressed on platforms such as “Spirituality & Health,” “Refinery 29,” “Vocal,” “Medium,” and “Bust Magazines,” along with many podcast, radio, news, and TV outlets. Known for exposing the impact of patriarchy and sexual shame on our ability to securely attach to our partners, and instruct our children to attach to theirs, Dr. Sellers' book, “Sex, God, & the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy,” has had a global impact. Her latest book, “Shameless Parenting – Everything You Need to Raise Shame-free, Confident, Kids and Heal Your Shame Too!” was a New Release Bestseller in eight categories. She speaks throughout the world on how to heal, and how to raise shame-free relationally confident children. In 2015, Dr. Sellers left her academic position of 28 years to found the Northwest Institute on Intimacy, a post-graduate institute to train psychotherapists, educators, clergy, and physicians in sexual health and understanding their sexual biases. Most do not realize that these professionals do not get sexual health training in graduate school. Since our ability to do pleasure and connection is core to our happiness, it is critical that all professionals serving public health and wellness receive this training.  Dr. Tina can be followed on Instagram @DrTinaShameless.   Please consider donating to keep this podcast going at natashahelfer.com. Intro ("Fisher's Hornpipe") and outro by Otter Creek Podcast edited by: Ashley Pacini  

We explore religious lenses on sexuality and pleasure. From giving ourselves permission to feel pleasurable to the fierce and genderless expression of sexuality, your body is a precious gift.Your body is asking permission to be a body and to be appreciated and loved in various expressions.We talking about the Bible and what the Catholic Church says about pleasure and sexuality. We also dive into Catholicism and vulnerabilities with sexual shame, and the reminder that sexuality is also viewed as an expression of unity and love in the Catholic Church. We also broadened this conversation to include other faith-based practices and what their perspectives are on sexuality. Dr. Mark Levand is a sexuality educator and researcher with degrees in Catholic theology. As part of his work, Dr. Levand teaches about theology, culture, and sexuality at Villanova University and he trains future sexuality educators at the Center for Human Sexuality Studies at Widener University and in the Sexual Health Certificate Program at the University of Michigan. . Connect with Dr. Levand at Marklevand.com and LevandConsulting@gmail.com . Resource sharing discussed in the show Books: Margaret Farley Just Love: A Framework for Christian Sexual Ethics Christine Gudorf Body, Sex, and Pleasure: Reconstructing Christian Sexual Ethics Tina Schermer Sellers Sex, God, and the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy Christian Objections to Same Sex Relationships: An Academic Assessment Websites: LGBTQI Catholic resources New Ways Ministry https://www.newwaysministry.org/ Dignity USA dignityusa.org .  Questions you want to ask, options you want to sort through, or deciding on what you should do? Schedule time to chat with me: https://drsusieg.com/pelvic-pain-specialist-15-minute-call Pelvic Pain Relief Program: learn about your body and concerns in the comfort and privacy of your own home. With video demonstrations of hands-on treatment techniques, lessons on the science behind why you hurt, and exercises that will help you navigate out of pelvic pain: https://drsusieg.com/pelvic-pain-in-men-online-programThis information is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a healthcare professional with any questions you may have regarding treatment, medications/supplements, or any medical diagnoses. This information is intended for educational purposes only and is in no way to substitute the advice of a licensed healthcare professional.   Wijngaards Institute for Catholic Research Christian Objections to Same Sex Relationships: An Academic Assessment - Wijngaards Institute for Catholic Research PageHistoryWikis > Christian Objections to Same Sex Relationships: An Academic AssessmentChristian Objections to Same Sex Relationships: An Academic Assessment. Interim Report The research report is available for download in English, German, and Spanish (Polish and Portuguese translations are in progress): Download (PDF) Herunterladen (PDF) Descargar (PDF) The Academic Statement summarising the report is available in … Estimated reading time 2 minutes   New Ways Ministry Home - New Ways Ministry Est. reading time 7 minutes

Many parents find normal sex behavior and development confusing. Parents often wonder if their child's sexual behavior is normal. Certified sex therapist Dr. Tina Sellers talks about parenting and sexual health and give parents a better understanding of “what to expect and when” in terms of their child's sexual development. Resources for Shameless parenting In her newest book, Dr. Tina's goal is to help parents or caregivers foster healthy sexual choices and attitudes in their children. She believes comprehensive sex education is the best way to protect children when they get involved with sex later, to make safe sexual choices, to lower teen pregnancy rate, to lower STI rates, etc. The book was made to be a handout that doctors, teachers, parents, therapists, and other educators could easily use and refer to when dealing with sexual developments in young children. Moreover, since shame is one of the things that could get in the way for parents to become the best sex educator that they wanted to be, Dr. Tina also emphasizes ways to soothe the self and heal from that, along with streamlined resources and websites that could effectively help overcome that shame. Sexual Development in children It is critical for parents and caregivers to get a greater understanding around sexual development and behaviors in children. Dr. Tina's book was developed in hopes of creating a better understanding of these developments. It can be difficult to recognize that, like adults, children are sexual beings. Children will be curious about sex, sexuality, and the human body. The book can serve as cheat sheets for parents to get some general information on common and uncommon behaviors based on age groups. Parents can also find suggestions for conversations that parents can have with their children to help encourage healthy sexual development. Normalizing sexual behaviors Healing comes from knowing that there are sexual behaviors that are normal in children and that shame was never an appropriate feeling. Kids will do what kids will do from harmless curiosity. The evolving sexuality that we have is always beautiful and creative, and the fact that the society that we live in has just never gotten it right is tragic. Wrong notions and misinformation can crush a child's developing sexuality and can get traumatized with profound effects. Managing reactivity for parents It is important to ask your kids questions and listen very carefully to what they have to say about what's going on in their world. It can be scary for parents to get sort of a bird's eye view of what the world is like for their kids but not knowing will not be helpful either. Parents need to learn to manage reactivity within themselves. Joining a parents' group where you can start talking to each other about what it is like for you or just having a place to talk through your own reactivity and your own fear can be helpful. Know that your kids need your calm presence and just knowing that you got their back no matter what. Parents need to be conscious of their reactions because kids could easily pick it up as shaming or judging. Biography: Tina Schermer Sellers, PhD has had a distinguished career as a marriage and family therapist, medical family therapist, and certified sex therapist. She is also a professor, researcher, author, and speaker. She has won numerous awards and been featured on radio, TV, and podcasts. As the founder and Medical Director of the Northwest Institute on Intimacy, and the community group ThankGodForSex.org she speaks to audiences across the country about the difference sexual health and sexual health training can make for the individual and professional. Her award-winning book, Sex, God, and the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy reveals the devastation caused by sexual shame in the wake of the purity and abstinence-only movements and reveals the path to healing for both clinician and client. When not speaking and writing, you will find Tina delighting in her year-old granddaughter! Resources and links: www.tinaschermersellers.com www.instituteonintimacy.com www.4-DNetwork.com www.ThankGodForSex.org www.SheIsCalled.com Instagram: @drtinashameless Affiliate links to books: Sex, God, and the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy – https://amzn.to/2H2vTVV From Diapers to Dating: A Parent's Guide to Raising Sexually Healthy Children – From Infancy to Middle School – https://amzn.to/2Ew4oCi More info: Sex Health Quiz – https://www.sexhealthquiz.com The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com Access the Free webinar: How to want more sex without it feeling like a chore: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Better Sex with Jessa Zimmerman https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/ Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/213-shameless-parenting-dr-tina-schermer-sellersMore info and resources: How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com Access the Free webinar: How to make sex easy and fun for both of you: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast

Many parents find normal sex behavior and development confusing. Parents often wonder if their child's sexual behavior is normal. Certified sex therapist Dr. Tina Sellers talks about parenting and sexual health and give parents a better understanding of “what to expect and when” in terms of their child's sexual development. Resources for Shameless parenting In her newest book, Dr. Tina's goal is to help parents or caregivers foster healthy sexual choices and attitudes in their children. She believes comprehensive sex education is the best way to protect children when they get involved with sex later, to make safe sexual choices, to lower teen pregnancy rate, to lower STI rates, etc. The book was made to be a handout that doctors, teachers, parents, therapists, and other educators could easily use and refer to when dealing with sexual developments in young children.Moreover, since shame is one of the things that could get in the way for parents to become the best sex educator that they wanted to be, Dr. Tina also emphasizes ways to soothe the self and heal from that, along with streamlined resources and websites that could effectively help overcome that shame. Sexual Development in children It is critical for parents and caregivers to get a greater understanding around sexual development and behaviors in children. Dr. Tina's book was developed in hopes of creating a better understanding of these developments. It can be difficult to recognize that, like adults, children are sexual beings. Children will be curious about sex, sexuality, and the human body. The book can serve as cheat sheets for parents to get some general information on common and uncommon behaviors based on age groups. Parents can also find suggestions for conversations that parents can have with their children to help encourage healthy sexual development. Normalizing sexual behaviors Healing comes from knowing that there are sexual behaviors that are normal in children and that shame was never an appropriate feeling. Kids will do what kids will do from harmless curiosity. The evolving sexuality that we have is always beautiful and creative, and the fact that the society that we live in has just never gotten it right is tragic. Wrong notions and misinformation can crush a child's developing sexuality and can get traumatized with profound effects. Managing reactivity for parents It is important to ask your kids questions and listen very carefully to what they have to say about what's going on in their world. It can be scary for parents to get sort of a bird's eye view of what the world is like for their kids but not knowing will not be helpful either. Parents need to learn to manage reactivity within themselves.Joining a parents' group where you can start talking to each other about what it is like for you or just having a place to talk through your own reactivity and your own fear can be helpful. Know that your kids need your calm presence and just knowing that you got their back no matter what. Parents need to be conscious of their reactions because kids could easily pick it up as shaming or judging. Biography: Tina Schermer Sellers, PhD has had a distinguished career as a marriage and family therapist, medical family therapist, and certified sex therapist. She is also a professor, researcher, author, and speaker. She has won numerous awards and been featured on radio, TV, and podcasts. As the founder and Medical Director of the Northwest Institute on Intimacy, and the community group ThankGodForSex.org she speaks to audiences across the country about the difference sexual health and sexual health training can make for the individual and professional.Her award-winning book, Sex, God, and the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy reveals the devastation caused by sexual shame in the wake of the purity and abstinence-only movements and reveals the path to healing for both clinician and client. When not speaking and writing, you will find Tina delighting in her year-old granddaughter! Resources and links: www.tinaschermersellers.com www.instituteonintimacy.com www.4-DNetwork.com www.ThankGodForSex.org www.SheIsCalled.com Instagram: @drtinashameless Affiliate links to books: Sex, God, and the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy – https://amzn.to/2H2vTVV From Diapers to Dating: A Parent's Guide to Raising Sexually Healthy Children – From Infancy to Middle School – https://amzn.to/2Ew4oCi More info: Sex Health Quiz – https://www.sexhealthquiz.com The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com Access the Free webinar: How to want more sex without it feeling like a chore: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Better Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/213-shameless-parenting-dr-tina-schermer-sellers

Many parents find normal sex behavior and development confusing. Parents often wonder if their child's sexual behavior is normal. Certified sex therapist Dr. Tina Sellers talks about parenting and sexual health and give parents a better understanding of “what to expect and when” in terms of their child's sexual development. Resources for Shameless parenting In her newest book, Dr. Tina's goal is to help parents or caregivers foster healthy sexual choices and attitudes in their children. She believes comprehensive sex education is the best way to protect children when they get involved with sex later, to make safe sexual choices, to lower teen pregnancy rate, to lower STI rates, etc. The book was made to be a handout that doctors, teachers, parents, therapists, and other educators could easily use and refer to when dealing with sexual developments in young children.Moreover, since shame is one of the things that could get in the way for parents to become the best sex educator that they wanted to be, Dr. Tina also emphasizes ways to soothe the self and heal from that, along with streamlined resources and websites that could effectively help overcome that shame. Sexual Development in children It is critical for parents and caregivers to get a greater understanding around sexual development and behaviors in children. Dr. Tina's book was developed in hopes of creating a better understanding of these developments. It can be difficult to recognize that, like adults, children are sexual beings. Children will be curious about sex, sexuality, and the human body. The book can serve as cheat sheets for parents to get some general information on common and uncommon behaviors based on age groups. Parents can also find suggestions for conversations that parents can have with their children to help encourage healthy sexual development. Normalizing sexual behaviors Healing comes from knowing that there are sexual behaviors that are normal in children and that shame was never an appropriate feeling. Kids will do what kids will do from harmless curiosity. The evolving sexuality that we have is always beautiful and creative, and the fact that the society that we live in has just never gotten it right is tragic. Wrong notions and misinformation can crush a child's developing sexuality and can get traumatized with profound effects. Managing reactivity for parents It is important to ask your kids questions and listen very carefully to what they have to say about what's going on in their world. It can be scary for parents to get sort of a bird's eye view of what the world is like for their kids but not knowing will not be helpful either. Parents need to learn to manage reactivity within themselves.Joining a parents' group where you can start talking to each other about what it is like for you or just having a place to talk through your own reactivity and your own fear can be helpful. Know that your kids need your calm presence and just knowing that you got their back no matter what. Parents need to be conscious of their reactions because kids could easily pick it up as shaming or judging. Biography: Tina Schermer Sellers, PhD has had a distinguished career as a marriage and family therapist, medical family therapist, and certified sex therapist. She is also a professor, researcher, author, and speaker. She has won numerous awards and been featured on radio, TV, and podcasts. As the founder and Medical Director of the Northwest Institute on Intimacy, and the community group ThankGodForSex.org she speaks to audiences across the country about the difference sexual health and sexual health training can make for the individual and professional.Her award-winning book, Sex, God, and the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy reveals the devastation caused by sexual shame in the wake of the purity and abstinence-only movements and reveals the path to healing for both clinician and client. When not speaking and writing, you will find Tina delighting in her year-old granddaughter! Resources and links: www.tinaschermersellers.com www.instituteonintimacy.com www.4-DNetwork.com www.ThankGodForSex.org www.SheIsCalled.com Instagram: @drtinashameless Affiliate links to books: Sex, God, and the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy – https://amzn.to/2H2vTVV From Diapers to Dating: A Parent's Guide to Raising Sexually Healthy Children – From Infancy to Middle School – https://amzn.to/2Ew4oCi More info: Sex Health Quiz – https://www.sexhealthquiz.com The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com Access the Free webinar: How to want more sex without it feeling like a chore: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Better Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/213-shameless-parenting-dr-tina-schermer-sellers

Do you ever hear a conversation that is so good, you have to hear more? We got you babe. In our first Encore series, 5 fan favorite guests are coming back. On today's chat, Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers is back to talk about how we can talk to our kids (or even re-parent ourselves) to enjoy shame free sex. We discuss where shame comes from, how it can look differently in both purity and hookup culture, how to talk to our kids about sex in age appropriate ways, and why other countries have more positive sexual relationships. Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers is a sex and gender feminist psychotherapist, professor emerita, and author of the acclaimed book, Sex, God and the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy. She is a preeminent voice on the impact of sexual shame on sexual health and attachment. In her latest book, Shameless Parenting – Everything You Need to Raise Shame-free, Confident Kids, and Heal Your Shame Too!, Dr. Sellers highlights the trickiest parts of each stage of parenting (birth to 18) that tend to trigger shame-based reactivity. It is the hardest part of parenting. It is from our own places of shame that we over-react, repeating patterns from our parent's that we might otherwise have resisted.This is the 21st century book parents have been waiting for. Dr. Tina is also the founder and medical director of the Northwest Institute on Intimacy which provides training and supervision for therapists, medical providers and clergy in sexual health and confronting sexual bias. Dr. Tina is frequently featured on podcasts, TV, documentaries, articles and radio. Pre-COVID Tina travelled across the country as a keynote speaker for organizations, parents and professionals helping them become competent teaching shame-free relational and sexual health. As the world begins to open back up, hopefully she will get to travel and speak again soon! In the meantime,she has enjoyed shifting these conversations online and connects with people across the world through instagram/facebook/youtube lives, Clubhouse conversations & will be launching a new online community for parents along with her new book release! Stay tuned:)

On this episode, I sit down and talk with Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers about Religious Sexual Shame, how it started, how it affects us, and how we can begin to heal.Dr. Tina is a licensed sex and gender feminist psychotherapist, best-selling author, researcher, former professor, and media personality whose expertise spans sex therapy, spiritual intimacy, parenting, and social justice. Her revolutionary perspectives have been expressed on platforms such as Spirituality & Health, Refinery 29, Vocal, Medium and Bust Magazines, along with many podcast, radio, news, and TV interviews. Known for exposing the impact of sexual shame on our ability to securely attach to our partners, and instruct our children to attach to theirs, Dr. Sellers' book Sex, God, & the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy has had a global impact. Her latest book, which is out now, Shameless Parenting – Everything You Need to Raise Shame-free, Confident, Kids and Heal Your Shame Too! was a New Release Bestseller in five categories. She speaks throughout the world on how to heal, and how to raise shame-free relationally confident children.Find Dr. Tina on Instagram, here.Find her website, here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Meet Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers, a licensed sex and gender feminist psychotherapist, best-selling author, researcher, emeriti professor, and media personality whose expertise spans sex therapy, spiritual intimacy, parenting, and social justice. Known for exposing the impact of sexual shame on our ability to securely attach to our partners, and instruct our children to attach to theirs, Dr. Sellers' book Sex, God, & the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy has had a global impact. Her latest book, June 2021, Shameless Parenting – Everything You Need to Raise Shame-free, Confident, Kids and Heal Your Shame Too! was a New Release Bestseller in five categories while in presale. In Episode 40,  Dr. Tina stresses the importance of speaking early with your children about sex, relationships, and love.  By pulling back the veil surrounding intimacy, Dr. Tina believes we can remove the shame that typically accompanies sexual discussions, resulting in closer connections between parent and child.Dr. Tina's Takeaways:There has been a dramatic increase in ignorance about your body and the normal development of one's sexuality.The more you constrict, the more damage you do.We have so much exploitation occurring that kids don't know when they are being exploited.Kids will make safer sexual choices and choose partners that are better suited for them if sex is openly discussed at home.Best guarantee of your kids staying connected is to become a sex educator and get over your shame.Kids need to learn together where they're the same and where they're different.We all want connection and pleasure and we don't know how to create a banquet that will allow us  to share something we want.Connect with Dr. TinaDr. Tina Schermer Sellers · @drtinashameless · InstagramDr. Tina's WebsiteShameless Parenting:  Everything You Need to Raise Shame-free, Confident Kids & Heal Your Shame Too!

What does Monica Cook think we as pastors get wrong as we talk to people about sex? How can we as pastors do a better job at helping people in regards to sex at the start of a marriage relationship? What basic things does Monica want pre-marital couples to know? How do you frame sex in a healthy way?  How do pastors help to normalise that within a healthy marriage there may be moments of sexual dysfunction?What help and hope is there for those who have been sexually abused as children?What are specific issues for women navigating the flood of porn in our society? For further reading Monica recommends:Ferree, Marnie C, No stones, Women redeemed from Sexual AddictionSchermer Sellers, Tina, Sex, God and the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy Johnston Sue, Created for Connection: The ‘hold me tight' guide for Christian CouplesYam, Renee, Sex Awakened: Creating healthy sexual intimacy in marriage https://www.acsh.com.au/our-practitioners/monica-cookhttp://www.thepastorsheart.net/podcast/monica-talking-about-sexSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/thepastorsheart)

It's not ONE sex talk, it's one hundred one-minute conversations about sexuality, intimacy, and body curiosity. Ever wondered how to parent your kids in a way that celebrates their sexuality instead of fearing it? THIS is the one you've been waiting for as we welcome Dr. Tina to our show. She brings a wealth of wisdom and practical advice drawing from over 30 years of experience in sexual health, therapy, and education. Not a parent? Maybe you've been wondering how to reparent yourself from the years you spent in Purity Culture - this conversation is for you too. Learn how to have compassion for your younger self and walk forward embracing the gift of your body, your curiosity, and your sexuality.  Show notes here (loads of great info from Dr. Tina and more) To hear our full, uncut interview with Dr. Tina partner with us for $3/month - you'll get access to our full library of uncut interviews and more. Tina Schermer Sellers, PhD, LMFT, CSTS is a licensed sex and gender feminist psychotherapist, writer, researcher, supervisor, and public figure whose expertise spans sex therapy, spiritual intimacy, medicine, parenting, and social justice. Dr. Sellers' book Sex, God, & the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy has had a global impact exposing the damage of sexual shame. Now she speaks throughout the world on how to heal, and how to raise shame-free relationally confident children. Connect with her on Instagram @drtinashameless Write us a review: Apple Podcasts

Wendy kicks off Season 2 with author and professor Tina Schermer Sellers, PhD, as they discuss the historical implications of sexuality and its relation to the merging of church and state in the United States. Tina's expertise is evident in her acclaimed book Sex, God, and the Conservative Church - Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy. Listen as she and Wendy debunk the cultural conditioning on sexual shame and offer resources for starting a healing process.

Dr. Schermer-Sellers continues the discussion from PT1 on Sex, God, and The Conservative Church: Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy. She discusses what sexual shame is, how it is developed over time, how to heal sexual shame, what parents can do to avoid this happening to their children, adult sexual education courses available on her website, resources for parents and etc.

Host Isaac Archuleta and Dr. Tina Sellers, a licensed marriage and family therapist, certified sex therapist who holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology, and author of Sex, God, and the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy. They discuss the way developmental trauma affects sexuality and how it can go on to affect adult sexuality.

Thank you for listening to Mormon Sex Info. This episode is an archived episode and is only now becoming publicly available. Mormon Sex Info relies on contributions. To contribute, please visit: mormonsex.info Natasha Helfer Parker interviews Dr. Tina Sellers in regards to her work with clients and students from religiously conservative cultures and her experience noticing a recent increase of sexual shame coming from what she calls the purity movement. She recently published a book called Sex, God and the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy where she addresses sex-positive approaches people can reduce harmful shame and adopt both Christian and Hebrew traditions that can enhance, heal and edify their sexual relationships. She presented at the Rocky Mountain Sex Summit , September 22-23, 2017 in Salt Lake City, Utah. Dr. Sellers is the Director of Medical Family Therapy at Seattle Pacific University and has been teaching the sexuality course for the Family Therapy program. Resources Mentioned During the Podcast: AASECT Al Vernacchio: Sexual Educator Sex, Mom and God: How the Bible’s Strange Take on Sex Led to Crazy Politicsby Frank Schaeffer Are We Due for Another Sexual Revolution? with Dr. Roger Libby Thank God for Sex project Girls and Sex: Navigating Complicated Landscape by Peggy Orenstein The Etiology and Phenomenology of Sexual Shame: A Grounded Theory Study by Dr. Noel Clark Christians Caught Between the Sheets — How ‘Abstinence Only’ Ideology Hurts Us by Tina Sellers  

Tina Schermer Sellers is the author of the book, Sex, God, and the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy. She is a nationally known speaker on religious sexual shame. She has a PhD in clinical sexology and is an associate professor of sexuality and director of medical family therapy in the Department of Psychology, Family and Community at Seattle Pacific University, in Seattle, Washington. Tina serves on the board of The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, and is a Co-Creator of She Is Called – a Leadership Collective for Women. She is also the founder and Medical Director of the Northwest Institute on Intimacy. More information about the guest can be found at http://tinaschermersellers.com/

Overcoming Sexual Shame In her work, Sellers places considerable emphasis on reversing sexual shame in her clients' and readers' minds. Growing up in a sexually-open environment, with parents who were very transparent about sexual function, health, and education, Tina learned the importance of communication over the suppression of sexual fact. And by extension, she is a vocal opponent of abstinence-only techniques which are ineffective and detrimental to the overall sexual wellbeing of all who are involved. Tina also likes to probe the depths of religious history to offer broader perspectives on how sexuality and religion can function symbiotically instead of antagonistically. Without further ado, much more is expounded upon within the episode. It is an absolutely phenomenal experience, navigated by an equally phenomenal guest. Enjoy! Sex, God, and the Conservative Church: A Sexual Autobiography? Not exactly. Tina had an upbringing that runs counter to a typical conservative church experience. She grew up in a Swedish immigrant family where everyone was body and sex positive. In addition, sexuality was taught in a transparent manner. This meant that the typical drip-feed of sexual shame had been replaced with a far more positive apparatus for sexual wellbeing and curiosity. Tina goes on to say much more about her background and the importance of her upbringing throughout the episode! Transforming a Fragmented Narrative into a Sexual Legacy So, why would Tina write a book about the suppression of sexuality in religiously-centered families, when she herself had experienced a far-from-stifling upbringing? To completely answer this question requires a brief review of a moment in her life that determined the direction of her research. The pieces for her book began to fall into place during her time as a professor. And more specifically, when she organized assignments that directed her Human Sexuality students to make autobiographical accounts of their own sexual experiences. And it was during the countless drafts she read that she started to notice an influx of narratives that all became pointedly self-conscious and self-disparaging. What had originally been a fragmented narrative began to congeal into a fleshed-out profile of individual sexuality. But what could have caused this shift in perception? Tune in to find out more! The Limitations of Legalism and Abstinence-Only Sellers delves into some of the origins of the more Evangelically-driven modes of thought. Legalistic adherence to biblical laws, literalism, a harsh criticism of sexual expression, and the power and money at the root of all socio-political movements. In addition, she accentuates the fact that the abstinence-only strategies are mentally detrimental for children. Eventually, once a child matures and becomes sexually active, abstinence-only techniques prove to be much more harmful than establishing regular dialogues on sexuality. Most of this is socio-politically and religiously driven, like the Purity Movement. Seriously, this information is worth its weight in gold. You won't want to miss it! The Phenomenology of Sexual Shame At one point in the episode, Tina shares a quote which provides an absolutely nuanced and fresh perspective on the idea of sexual shame. But at the same time, it is heartbreaking in its accuracy. This is a portion of what is said on the phenomenology of sexual shame: “A visceral feeling of humiliation and disgust towards one's own body and identity as a sexual being. A belief of being abnormal, inferior, and unworthy.” And this has been reinforced by our socio-political climate. For more on the phenomenology of sexual shame, listen along. Comprehensive Sex-Ed: 100, 1-minute conversations Tina says that a comprehensive sexual education is imperative for shifting the legacy of sexual of shame. With enough discussions, just 100, one-minute conversations, the statistics show that individuals will almost always go on to live healthier sexual lives. They also feel much better about their bodies overall. This means that parents must start very soon with their kids, shouldn't have ‘heart attacks' when children show curiosity towards their bodies (or the differences in others' bodies), and let things come about naturally without “childproofing the mind,” so to speak. The Model For Erasing Sexual Shame (MESS) Tina shares one of the most important facets of her book with listeners. Using a four-part strategy for reversing sexual shame, she teaches us that we need to frame, name, claim, and aim if we expect to get rid of our sexual shame. First, we must have the proper frame for sexual education. This means that instead of porn, which often reflects only a male-driven fantasy, individuals need to have a sexual education that is instead based in reality. The frame is the “scaffolding” for a healthy sexuality, as Sellers says--it could even be called a frame of reference. The second, name, is equally important: we must name, or tell our story. To learn what claim and aim mean in this formula, check out this enlightening talk. The Mind/Body Divide: A Perspective Shift Towards Sinful Sex In some of the closing moments of the interview, Tina gives listeners a history lesson dating back all the way to Aristotle and up to Constantine. She states that the severance of the mind from the body started with the original Greek thinkers (Socrates, Plato, Aristotle) and largely affected the overall ideological shape of Christianity. Using eastern religion as a foil for western thought, she shows how the mind and body are actually unified in Eastern-based religions and thus generally have a more positive impact on sexual wellbeing for its adherents. Christianity, on the other hand, teaches the supremacy of the mind over the body, leading to a sexual suppression that is hard to shake. This can lead to unhealthy levels of sexual shame in those who are taught that the body must be grappled with and suppressed. The Vow of Onah Sellers shows us that there are a lot of Hebrew sources that portray sexually-positive messages. The most powerful of these being the Vow of Onah, which reverses the typical gender roles of the time period, favoring women over men. One of the oaths of The Vow of Onah is that “Sex is considered a woman's right, not a man's.” For the full list and a detailed response, check the key links and information below and read the blog post that Tina wrote on the subject. It's eye-opening. Background She is the celebrated author of Sex, God, and the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy. In addition to her exemplary research and compositional work on that book, she has a Ph.D. in Clinical Sexology and has established a very impressive reputation as a marriage and family therapist, medical family therapist, and also, a certified sex therapist. She has been a professor for many years now, starting as a Latin and science teacher in La Jolla, California. Eventually, this would lead to her teaching a sexual education course in the same prep school. And this launched the specialized career she has been diligently working at for years. Key Links and Information Regarding Tina Sellers Tina's Website: http://tinaschermersellers.com/ Link for Tina's book - Sex, God, and the Conservative Church: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1138674982 ‘Vow of Onah' Blog Post Written by Tina Sellers: http://tinaschermersellers.com/2011/02/12/the-vow-of-onah-and-other-jewish-attitudes-about-sex/ Northwest Institute on Intimacy: https://nwioi.com/ 4-D Network: https://4-dnetwork.com/ Thank God For Sex: http://www.thankgodforsex.org/ She Is Called: https://www.sheiscalled.com/ More info: Book and New Course - https://sexwithoutstress.com Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/ Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/ If you're enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcast Better Sex with Jessa Zimmerman https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/More info and resources: How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com Access the Free webinar: How to make sex easy and fun for both of you: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast

Overcoming Sexual ShameIn her work, Sellers places considerable emphasis on reversing sexual shame in her clients’ and readers’ minds. Growing up in a sexually-open environment, with parents who were very transparent about sexual function, health, and education, Tina learned the importance of communication over the suppression of sexual fact. And by extension, she is a vocal opponent of abstinence-only techniques which are ineffective and detrimental to the overall sexual wellbeing of all who are involved.Tina also likes to probe the depths of religious history to offer broader perspectives on how sexuality and religion can function symbiotically instead of antagonistically.Without further ado, much more is expounded upon within the episode. It is an absolutely phenomenal experience, navigated by an equally phenomenal guest. Enjoy!Sex, God, and the Conservative Church: A Sexual Autobiography?Not exactly. Tina had an upbringing that runs counter to a typical conservative church experience. She grew up in a Swedish immigrant family where everyone was body and sex positive. In addition, sexuality was taught in a transparent manner. This meant that the typical drip-feed of sexual shame had been replaced with a far more positive apparatus for sexual wellbeing and curiosity. Tina goes on to say much more about her background and the importance of her upbringing throughout the episode!Transforming a Fragmented Narrative into a Sexual LegacySo, why would Tina write a book about the suppression of sexuality in religiously-centered families, when she herself had experienced a far-from-stifling upbringing? To completely answer this question requires a brief review of a moment in her life that determined the direction of her research.The pieces for her book began to fall into place during her time as a professor. And more specifically, when she organized assignments that directed her Human Sexuality students to make autobiographical accounts of their own sexual experiences. And it was during the countless drafts she read that she started to notice an influx of narratives that all became pointedly self-conscious and self-disparaging. What had originally been a fragmented narrative began to congeal into a fleshed-out profile of individual sexuality. But what could have caused this shift in perception? Tune in to find out more!The Limitations of Legalism and Abstinence-OnlySellers delves into some of the origins of the more Evangelically-driven modes of thought. Legalistic adherence to biblical laws, literalism, a harsh criticism of sexual expression, and the power and money at the root of all socio-political movements. In addition, she accentuates the fact that the abstinence-only strategies are mentally detrimental for children. Eventually, once a child matures and becomes sexually active, abstinence-only techniques prove to be much more harmful than establishing regular dialogues on sexuality. Most of this is socio-politically and religiously driven, like the Purity Movement. Seriously, this information is worth its weight in gold. You won’t want to miss it!The Phenomenology of Sexual ShameAt one point in the episode, Tina shares a quote which provides an absolutely nuanced and fresh perspective on the idea of sexual shame. But at the same time, it is heartbreaking in its accuracy. This is a portion of what is said on the phenomenology of sexual shame: “A visceral feeling of humiliation and disgust towards one’s own body and identity as a sexual being. A belief of being abnormal, inferior, and unworthy.” And this has been reinforced by our socio-political climate. For more on the phenomenology of sexual shame, listen along.Comprehensive Sex-Ed: 100, 1-minute conversationsTina says that a comprehensive sexual education is imperative for shifting the legacy of sexual of shame. With enough discussions, just 100, one-minute conversations, the statistics show that individuals will almost always go on to live healthier sexual lives. They also feel much better about their bodies overall. This means that parents must start very soon with their kids, shouldn’t have ‘heart attacks’ when children show curiosity towards their bodies (or the differences in others’ bodies), and let things come about naturally without “childproofing the mind,” so to speak.The Model For Erasing Sexual Shame (MESS)Tina shares one of the most important facets of her book with listeners. Using a four-part strategy for reversing sexual shame, she teaches us that we need to frame, name, claim, and aim if we expect to get rid of our sexual shame. First, we must have the proper frame for sexual education. This means that instead of porn, which often reflects only a male-driven fantasy, individuals need to have a sexual education that is instead based in reality. The frame is the “scaffolding” for a healthy sexuality, as Sellers says--it could even be called a frame of reference. The second, name, is equally important: we must name, or tell our story. To learn what claim and aim mean in this formula, check out this enlightening talk.The Mind/Body Divide: A Perspective Shift Towards Sinful SexIn some of the closing moments of the interview, Tina gives listeners a history lesson dating back all the way to Aristotle and up to Constantine. She states that the severance of the mind from the body started with the original Greek thinkers (Socrates, Plato, Aristotle) and largely affected the overall ideological shape of Christianity. Using eastern religion as a foil for western thought, she shows how the mind and body are actually unified in Eastern-based religions and thus generally have a more positive impact on sexual wellbeing for its adherents. Christianity, on the other hand, teaches the supremacy of the mind over the body, leading to a sexual suppression that is hard to shake. This can lead to unhealthy levels of sexual shame in those who are taught that the body must be grappled with and suppressed.The Vow of OnahSellers shows us that there are a lot of Hebrew sources that portray sexually-positive messages. The most powerful of these being the Vow of Onah, which reverses the typical gender roles of the time period, favoring women over men. One of the oaths of The Vow of Onah is that “Sex is considered a woman’s right, not a man’s.” For the full list and a detailed response, check the key links and information below and read the blog post that Tina wrote on the subject. It’s eye-opening.BackgroundShe is the celebrated author of Sex, God, and the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy. In addition to her exemplary research and compositional work on that book, she has a Ph.D. in Clinical Sexology and has established a very impressive reputation as a marriage and family therapist, medical family therapist, and also, a certified sex therapist.She has been a professor for many years now, starting as a Latin and science teacher in La Jolla, California. Eventually, this would lead to her teaching a sexual education course in the same prep school. And this launched the specialized career she has been diligently working at for years.Key Links and Information Regarding Tina SellersTina’s Website: http://tinaschermersellers.com/Link for Tina’s book - Sex, God, and the Conservative Church: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1138674982‘Vow of Onah’ Blog Post Written by Tina Sellers: http://tinaschermersellers.com/2011/02/12/the-vow-of-onah-and-other-jewish-attitudes-about-sex/Northwest Institute on Intimacy: https://nwioi.com/4-D Network: https://4-dnetwork.com/Thank God For Sex: http://www.thankgodforsex.org/She Is Called: https://www.sheiscalled.com/More info:Book and New Course - https://sexwithoutstress.comWeb - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/

Overcoming Sexual ShameIn her work, Sellers places considerable emphasis on reversing sexual shame in her clients’ and readers’ minds. Growing up in a sexually-open environment, with parents who were very transparent about sexual function, health, and education, Tina learned the importance of communication over the suppression of sexual fact. And by extension, she is a vocal opponent of abstinence-only techniques which are ineffective and detrimental to the overall sexual wellbeing of all who are involved.Tina also likes to probe the depths of religious history to offer broader perspectives on how sexuality and religion can function symbiotically instead of antagonistically.Without further ado, much more is expounded upon within the episode. It is an absolutely phenomenal experience, navigated by an equally phenomenal guest. Enjoy!Sex, God, and the Conservative Church: A Sexual Autobiography?Not exactly. Tina had an upbringing that runs counter to a typical conservative church experience. She grew up in a Swedish immigrant family where everyone was body and sex positive. In addition, sexuality was taught in a transparent manner. This meant that the typical drip-feed of sexual shame had been replaced with a far more positive apparatus for sexual wellbeing and curiosity. Tina goes on to say much more about her background and the importance of her upbringing throughout the episode!Transforming a Fragmented Narrative into a Sexual LegacySo, why would Tina write a book about the suppression of sexuality in religiously-centered families, when she herself had experienced a far-from-stifling upbringing? To completely answer this question requires a brief review of a moment in her life that determined the direction of her research.The pieces for her book began to fall into place during her time as a professor. And more specifically, when she organized assignments that directed her Human Sexuality students to make autobiographical accounts of their own sexual experiences. And it was during the countless drafts she read that she started to notice an influx of narratives that all became pointedly self-conscious and self-disparaging. What had originally been a fragmented narrative began to congeal into a fleshed-out profile of individual sexuality. But what could have caused this shift in perception? Tune in to find out more!The Limitations of Legalism and Abstinence-OnlySellers delves into some of the origins of the more Evangelically-driven modes of thought. Legalistic adherence to biblical laws, literalism, a harsh criticism of sexual expression, and the power and money at the root of all socio-political movements. In addition, she accentuates the fact that the abstinence-only strategies are mentally detrimental for children. Eventually, once a child matures and becomes sexually active, abstinence-only techniques prove to be much more harmful than establishing regular dialogues on sexuality. Most of this is socio-politically and religiously driven, like the Purity Movement. Seriously, this information is worth its weight in gold. You won’t want to miss it!The Phenomenology of Sexual ShameAt one point in the episode, Tina shares a quote which provides an absolutely nuanced and fresh perspective on the idea of sexual shame. But at the same time, it is heartbreaking in its accuracy. This is a portion of what is said on the phenomenology of sexual shame: “A visceral feeling of humiliation and disgust towards one’s own body and identity as a sexual being. A belief of being abnormal, inferior, and unworthy.” And this has been reinforced by our socio-political climate. For more on the phenomenology of sexual shame, listen along.Comprehensive Sex-Ed: 100, 1-minute conversationsTina says that a comprehensive sexual education is imperative for shifting the legacy of sexual of shame. With enough discussions, just 100, one-minute conversations, the statistics show that individuals will almost always go on to live healthier sexual lives. They also feel much better about their bodies overall. This means that parents must start very soon with their kids, shouldn’t have ‘heart attacks’ when children show curiosity towards their bodies (or the differences in others’ bodies), and let things come about naturally without “childproofing the mind,” so to speak.The Model For Erasing Sexual Shame (MESS)Tina shares one of the most important facets of her book with listeners. Using a four-part strategy for reversing sexual shame, she teaches us that we need to frame, name, claim, and aim if we expect to get rid of our sexual shame. First, we must have the proper frame for sexual education. This means that instead of porn, which often reflects only a male-driven fantasy, individuals need to have a sexual education that is instead based in reality. The frame is the “scaffolding” for a healthy sexuality, as Sellers says--it could even be called a frame of reference. The second, name, is equally important: we must name, or tell our story. To learn what claim and aim mean in this formula, check out this enlightening talk.The Mind/Body Divide: A Perspective Shift Towards Sinful SexIn some of the closing moments of the interview, Tina gives listeners a history lesson dating back all the way to Aristotle and up to Constantine. She states that the severance of the mind from the body started with the original Greek thinkers (Socrates, Plato, Aristotle) and largely affected the overall ideological shape of Christianity. Using eastern religion as a foil for western thought, she shows how the mind and body are actually unified in Eastern-based religions and thus generally have a more positive impact on sexual wellbeing for its adherents. Christianity, on the other hand, teaches the supremacy of the mind over the body, leading to a sexual suppression that is hard to shake. This can lead to unhealthy levels of sexual shame in those who are taught that the body must be grappled with and suppressed.The Vow of OnahSellers shows us that there are a lot of Hebrew sources that portray sexually-positive messages. The most powerful of these being the Vow of Onah, which reverses the typical gender roles of the time period, favoring women over men. One of the oaths of The Vow of Onah is that “Sex is considered a woman’s right, not a man’s.” For the full list and a detailed response, check the key links and information below and read the blog post that Tina wrote on the subject. It’s eye-opening.BackgroundShe is the celebrated author of Sex, God, and the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy. In addition to her exemplary research and compositional work on that book, she has a Ph.D. in Clinical Sexology and has established a very impressive reputation as a marriage and family therapist, medical family therapist, and also, a certified sex therapist.She has been a professor for many years now, starting as a Latin and science teacher in La Jolla, California. Eventually, this would lead to her teaching a sexual education course in the same prep school. And this launched the specialized career she has been diligently working at for years.Key Links and Information Regarding Tina SellersTina’s Website: http://tinaschermersellers.com/Link for Tina’s book - Sex, God, and the Conservative Church: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1138674982‘Vow of Onah’ Blog Post Written by Tina Sellers: http://tinaschermersellers.com/2011/02/12/the-vow-of-onah-and-other-jewish-attitudes-about-sex/Northwest Institute on Intimacy: https://nwioi.com/4-D Network: https://4-dnetwork.com/Thank God For Sex: http://www.thankgodforsex.org/She Is Called: https://www.sheiscalled.com/More info:Book and New Course - https://sexwithoutstress.comWeb - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/

Natasha Helfer Parker leads a monthly podcast “bookclub style” with colleagues who also happen to be AASECT Certified Sex Therapists in regards to current articles, news stories, research, etc. that have to do with the Mormon community from a sex-positive perspective. This project is a co-prodcution between Mormon Mental Health Podcast and Mormon Sex Info. Be aware that some language around the Michigan State case is graphic.  This month join Natasha and Aimee Heffernan as they discuss the following news stories & articles: 1. Josh & Lolly Weed and what they currently have to say about their mixed-orientation marriage coming to an end, 2. how Rachael Denhollander talks about the enablers within church systems as part of how abusers get protected, 3. modesty expectations for YW attending church proms in comparison to YM, 4. the Breastfeeding Protection Act going on in Utah, and 5. the types of messages given to our young members about sexuality.  Aimee Heffernan, LMFT AASECT Certification Process Tina Sellers: Sex, God, and the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy TURNING A UNICORN INTO A BAT: THE POST IN WHICH WE ANNOUNCE THE END OF OUR MARRIAGE Protectldschildren.org First Woman To Accuse Nassar Says Church Can Be One Of ‘Worst Places’ To Go For Help Dress Codes Trying to Desexualize Girls are Actually Sexualizing Them More What Teenagers Are Learning From Online Porn Over Cries Of Immodesty, Breastfeeding Bill Advances A Powerful Letter to Young Mormons About Sex and What They Need to Understand Me Too Movement Family Acceptance Project  Birds Bees & Kids   Natasha Helfer Parker runs an online practice, Symmetry Solutions and writes at The Mormon Therapist for Patheos: Hosting the Conversation of Faith. She also hosts the popular podcasts, Mormon Mental Health & Mormon Sex Info and creates the sex educational resource, Sex Talk with Natasha.

Kate and Carla talk with Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers, sex therapist, professor at Seattle Pacific University, and author of Sex God and the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy about her passion, sex, and her dreams for what’s next. 

Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers is the author of the forthcoming book, Sex, God & the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy. She promotes a “sex-positive Gospel” in her work as a licensed marriage and family therapist, Associate Professor of Marriage and Family Therapy and Director of Medical Family Therapy at Seattle Pacific University, and blogger and speaker. She is the founder of the Thank God For Sex Project, an online community for people who have experienced religious sexual shame, and the Northwest Institute on Intimacy, which trains psychotherapists in sex and spiritual intimacy therapy. In this episode of the RePlacing Church Podcast, she joins me to discuss: Recent headlines and the viral #MeToo hashtag The importance of consent and the danger of silence and shame culture How the Church can lead the way in listening to the voices of the abused and marginalized Sexual values within the Biblical and Jewish tradition How Christian community can cultivate healthy sexual relationships Get your free RePlacing Church Resource List, a guide to being and becoming the church in the neighborhood. Subscribe, rate, and review the RePlacing Church Podcast on iTunes, or listen on Stitcher, Google Play, or Podbean. Support RePlacing Church on Patreon. I need your support to offset production costs so that I can continue to offer quality content and insightful interviews that will help you grow in your faith and practice. Visit www.patreon.com/benkatt, become a RePlacing Church Patron for as little as a $1/month and receive access to bonus podcast episodes, additional blog posts and more exclusive content! More information here. Sign up for RePlacing Church updates at www.replacingchurch.org. Like on Facebook, Follow on Instagram. Episode Song Credits: "Another Wrong to Right" by Mercir. "Feels Like Home" by Immersive Music. "Full Humanity" by Cymatix. Used with Permission. Production Assistance by Nate Tubbs.

Tina is a Ph.D. therapist and author of Sex, God, and the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy.

Recorded in front of a live audience at the Wild Goose Festival, Carla talks with Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers about her book Sex, God, and the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy, which explores the impacts of purity culture.

Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers is the author of the forthcoming book, Sex, God & the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy. She promotes a “sex-positive Gospel” in her work as a licensed marriage and family therapist, Associate Professor of Marriage and Family Therapy and Director of Medical Family Therapy at Seattle Pacific University, and blogger and speaker. She is the founder of the Thank God For Sex Project, an online community for people who have experienced religious sexual shame, and the Northwest Institute on Intimacy, which trains psychotherapists in sex and spiritual intimacy therapy. In this episode of the RePlacing Church Podcast, she joins me to discuss: A brief history of sex in the church Her four-part model of helping people heal from religious sexual shame How to talk to your kids about sex -the power of telling others the story of your sexuality How to reclaim your body from damaging cultural and ecclesial narratives *Get your free RePlacing Church Resource List, a guide to being and becoming the church in the neighborhood. Are you creating or leading a neighborhood expression of church? Join the Thresholds Cohort: Chilliwack, a six-month learning community to support you with insight, direction, and support for the journey, facilitated by Ben Katt and Christiana Rice. Starts in April! More information available at thresholdscommunity.org/ChilliwackCohort Sign up for the Inhabit Conference (April 28-29, Seattle) today and get the Super Early Bird Special. SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW the RePlacing Church Podcast on iTunes, or listen on Stitcher, Google Play, or Podbean. Sign up for RePlacing Church updates at www.replacingchurch.org. Like on Facebook, Follow on Instagram. Episode Song Credits: "Another Wrong to Right" and "You Won't Walk Alone" by Mercir. "Closed" by Zadok Wartes. Used with Permission. Production Assistance by Nate Tubbs.