Hard Choices

This show is about so much more than getting a blowjob from a Muppet or finally knowing what Kraven the Hunter smells like. This show is about data. Only by carefully ranking fictional universes, represented by their median fuckable character, against one another can we arrive at a considered understanding of how these fandoms relate. Join Annie Craton, Kris Newton, Dan Mulkerin, and MeganBob for a voyage into the dead center of 21 lists. Along the way we ask ourselves, is Silver Sable from Spider -Man more fuckable than Guile from Street Fighter? Is Dragon from Shrek a better lay than King Kai from Dragon Ball? Only by making these scientifically rigorous comparisons will we ever truly understand the nature of fuckability, and therefore, the true nature of the human heart, which is obviously the real mission of the show, despite what those dweebs at the Peabody Awards think. By the way! Saturday, August 9th at 5pm Pacific is Bad Choices: Shrek, the live and intoxicated version of Hard Choices, and it goes down through Patreon livestream for all $4.20 patrons! You'll get to participate in Let's Upack That among other perks that you'll find out about at patreon.com/hardchoices! Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social MeganBob's OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/meganbob Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

According to sensors, a freak ion storm has transported an alternate universe Hard Choices episode into this feed! But this is not Hard Choices as we know it. Instead, join Admiral James D'Amato, Captain Kris Newton, Agony Booth Test Subject Dan Mulkerin, and Madame Sharon Schneiderman as they take a harsh, sweaty look at the characters of Star Trek's Mirror Universe. WARNING: As befits an evil podcast, this episode contains sweeping spoilers for all of Star Trek's mirror universe episodes, and especially for Season 1 of Star Trek: Discovery. Hard Choices on Patreon: patreon.com/hardchoices Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social MeganBob's OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/meganbob Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/alex-besss/psycho   License code: XDBZ1W5ZKG6XTEND https://uppbeat.io/t/alex-besss/zombie-world   License code: DM71JAW3EJ5HENZV Used under Creative Commons licenses: March of Cruxorians by CRUXORIUM Cue 1b - Tension-Drama-Building-Film Trailer-Cello and more with drums (Trailer For A Nonexistent Film 1) by Soularflair Death March by Audiorezout This episode's podcast art includes elements from freepik.com.

Something was in the air in 2004 and we're not entirely sure what it was. Whatever it was, ABC's Lost was chockful of it and boy howdy was the landscape of American television ever weirder because of it. Join Kam Servo of UNspoiled! The Constant: Lost and newcomers Jody Troutman of LongTallJodie and Claire J. Vannette of Relationship Mastery, along with absolute Lost newbie, MeganBob, as they return to The Island. Along the way, we flash forward, backward, sideways, and probably diagonally too. We'll meet smoke monsters, polar bears, and a bunch of hot people on a vacation that's considerably worse than any you've ever taken. Stir up a drink and sit down for a trip back to the height of must-see tv! Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social MeganBob's OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/meganbob Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO                          

It's time to get in the wayback machine and revisit the characters that defined the mid-century American television landscape: Nick at Nite Couples. Bad Choices was exactly the right place to break out the fancy cocktail glasses, get fabulously dressed, and say things that would make shock our parents.  Join Kris Newton, James D'Amato, Marissa, and MeganBob in (drunkenly) ranking the fuckability of fictional characters that we grew up with, from Happy Days, to Bewitched, to I Love Lucy, to The Jeffersons, and beyond. MeganBob wants to look like a toaster strudel in the name of love, Marissa pioneers the bold new idea of destination orgasms, Kris Newton sees the romance in being surprised by a face peeking out of the mattress, and James D'Amato takes what may possibly be his most controversial stand yet! Hit download, mix a drink, and enjoy the best filth Bad Choices can possibly offer!  Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social MeganBob's OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/meganbob Oh Captain, My Captain Marveling at Marvel's Marvels Garden Plots with Skeletor Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

This enormous episode is guaranteed to make you go super saiyan! Now, will it be with shock? Outrage? Sheer overwhelming horniness? You'll have to listen to find out! We cover the sexual prowess of characters from the length, breadth, and width of Dragon Ball, in search of the median, zenith, and nadir of bedroom performance. The list of characters was so vast and series spanning, we broke our previous power levels and went to 23!  Join four intrepid kamehamehos, Annie Craton, James D'Amato, Chris Sims, and MeganBob, as they absolutely smash their way through everyone Akira Toriyama created. Along the way, MeganBob learns how many of the character names are food puns, Chris Sims is Correct, and we all question whether or not Goku knows where babies come from.  Hit download and break out the Senzu beans, because you're going to need it to keep up your strength to make it through this classic anime f*ckfest!  Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social MeganBob's OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/meganbob Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

Join us for the Bad Choices - Nick at Nite Couples livestream on Saturday, November 23rd at 5pm Pacific! Kris Newton and I go over our cocktail options for a very mid-century American vibe, and give some recommendations to get you ready for a night of debauchery and fun! Any patrons of Hard Choices can join in this delicious night of excess! Register HERE! Not a patron of Hard Choices yet? Join HERE for as little as $1.69! 

Hard Choices returns once more to stalk the night in search of boners. This time, it's every fuckable fuck-up in the world of What We Do in the Shadows. That's right! You get vampires, werewolves, a zombie, a milf, it's everything you could possibly want, plus a bunch of fun vampire accents! Join the Hard Choices clan of Kris Newton, Dan, Kit, and MeganBob as they knock coffins with the Manhattan clan of the tv show and the original New Zealand clan of the movie. Hear Dan damn Sean Rinaldi with the faintest of praise. Listen to Kris opine on the evergreen nature of the Hitachi Magic Wand. Hear Bob try to wriggle their way into a fuck with Colin Robinson. Listen to Kit show everyone how you really assert dominance over a werewolf. Grab your favorite glass of red liquid, light the candelabras, put on all the lace and velvet and you own, and press play for spooky season listen guaranteed to be sweeter (and saltier) than any music the children of the night could cook up. Click here to punch your ticket to Bad Choices - Nick at Nite Couples! Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social MeganBob's OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/meganbob Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

Bad Choices - Nick at Nite Couples is taking every single familiar face from mid-century American television and we're gonna get filthy with them. Saturday, November 23rd, at 5pm Pacific is when it kicks off, and you can go! All you have to do is be a patron of Hard Choices at any level. That's right, for a mere $1.69 you can get stuffed on the backlog of bonus content, as well as joining James D'Amaton, Kris Newton, Marissa, and MeganBob for the Bad Choices -Nick at Nite Couples livestream that is guaranteed to make for an unforgettable night!  Here's everything you need to get in on these good times!  Hard Choices Patreon Livestream Sign Up  Voting for the Fanfic Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social MeganBob's OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/meganbob The Bad Choices Nick at Nite Logo was designed by Elliot BK Lange! For more of their joyful work, follow them on Bluesky @elliotbklange.bsky.social Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ

Hard Choices has a Hadouken of horniness for you with this thorough breakdown of the fuckability of 21 Street Fighter characters. Listen to our hosts take on the strongest woman in the world, and their conclusion that maybe handsome fighters lose some battles. Whether you're here to feel the caress of a Dragon Punch, a Sonic Boom, or a Hundred-Hand Slap, our hosts are going to make sure you don't miss a single stroke.  Join Kris Newton, Dan Mulkerin, Kam Servo, and MeganBob as they work through some of those special feelings that Raul Julia and Kylie Minogue inspired, and that's just for starters. Maybe not everyone is suited to fucking their way through all 21 of the top Street Fighter characters available to be had (and had again), but for these four, it was a Tuesday.  Publicly available for the first time ever, You can listen to Kris and Bob's meet cute-r, as they bond over Street Fighter friend-shipping! Street Friender And be sure to get in on the fun for November with Bad Choices Nick at Nite Couples. It's going to be a drunkenly debauched livestream guaranteed to make you feel filthy, as only black and white can! Join Patreon.com/hardchoices for as low as $1.69 to secure your ticket for Saturday, November 23rd at 5pm Pacific.  Oh! And MeganBob has an OnlyFans, and it's free to subscribe! Go check out the cheesecakey goodness at Onlyfans.com/meganbob Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social MeganBob's OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/meganbob Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

I think we all knew that this was a very long time coming, but the day is finally here! Yes, you can see that which has, up until now, only been hinted at by the Hard Choices podcast. Everything you need to engage at your comfort level is listed below.  MeganBob's free to subscribe OnlyFans Paid post with 26 B&W images, podcast, and video extras The Hard Choices patreon Sexy by LaFaena is licensed under a Attribution 4.0 International License. Logo by Elliot BK Lange, follow them on Bluesky!

In a world that hates and fears them, only four people are brave enough to stand up in public on the internet and rank the fuckability of 21 of Marvel comics most fuckable team, the X-Men. Chris Sims, Dan, Kam Servo, and MeganBob enter the bedroom with characters ranging from Cyclops to Emma Frost to Magneto to Storm, and come out the other side with definitive rankings that you, the internet public, are just going to have to live with. No, it's not about what they look like. It's about what they bone down like, and oh my goodness do they bone down! The X-Mansion rings out with cries of pleasure, and, let's be honest, more than a little bafflement (just what can't magnets do?) and we're here to deliver all the juiciest details to you. Learn all about why Storm is the answer to everyone's prayers, why we're hot (or not) for blue fur, and why Chris Sims is both gifted and cursed with knowing the true number one fuck on any given list of characters. Hey bub, subscribe, tune in, and discover why we should really just call them the XXX-Men. Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

Our thirst for Nicolas Cage cannot be quenched after just a single episode about his many starring roles. Hell, I don't know if our thirst for Cage is quenched after a second episode either, but for now, you have a fresh 2+ hours of Miles, Dan, Kit, Claire, and MeganBob peering into the dark heart of Cagemas and trying to figure out how these characters bone down. Join us as we tackle Ben Gates from National Treasure, Castor Troy from Face/Off, Cameron Poe from Con Air, and so many more strange Cages. Feelings of all kinds are had, gasps are heard, grievances are aired, and through it all, there is Nicolas Cage. Do we reach the throbbing heart of horniness? Well, we certainly reach the throbbing heart of something. Maybe the dark mysteries within our very souls?? You'll have to open this Pandora's box of an episode to find out! Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Tumblr: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

This here is the horniest podcast in the 'verse. We rounded up a crew of space cowboys worthy of riding into the world of Firefly, ready to get down with anyone worth having. Join Kam, Miles Schneiderman, Rio, and MeganBob, as they take off into the black, and rank the fuckability of the Serenity crew and most everyone else you remember slinging guns in Old West Space China. These four will find the Median, Zenith, and Nadir of fuckability, but along they way they'll find out a whole lot more, mostly about just what makes everyone say "I'll be in my bunk." Strap into your seat, as they prove that you can't take the sky from Hard Choices. Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Tumblr: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

If you've got a burning desire for enormous winged reptiles, then do we have the episode for you! In this, perhaps the most monsterfuckiest episode of Hard Choices to date, we take a look at 21 of the hottest, sexiest dragons from across media of all kinds! Well... "sexiest" may be stretching it in some cases. But hey, when you've got as much dragon boning to get through as we do, stretching is pretty much inevitable. Join Annie, Dan, Kit, and Meganbob as we bone our way across the many accumulated hordes of wealth that fantasy fiction can offer us, grappling with multiple heads, dangerously hot bodily fluids, and random googly eyes along the way! Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Tumblr: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

Bad Choices is coming for you on Saturday, April 20th at 5PM PT and it's coming hard! As a result of all the Bad Choices hullabaloo, among other things, MeganBob couldn't pull together an episode for April in time, but this is two gems from the Patreon feed featuring Bad Choices co-hosts Annie Craton and Dan Mulkerin.  Click HERE to register for Bad Choices so you don't miss one second of the action! Believe me, you'll be glad you did. Can you afford to miss James D'Amato doing a Zorak impression after a few drinks? Can you afford to miss any of us moaning about Jabberjaw or how much we want Yogi Bear to rifle through our pic-a-nic baskets? I feel like the answer is a resounding no.  Patrons at the $4.20+ get to join in the Bad Choices fun on 4/20! Patrons at all levels get access to the replay and to the podcast version of this unholy event. All patrons are going to be issued a Sex Bingo card to play along during Bad Choices and see if they win a prize! The prize has yet to be determined and may be something highly cursed, highly sexy, or just plain weird. It depends on how drunk we are by the end of the show, really.  Desperate to know who we're talking about on Saturday, April 20th?  Dastardly and Muttley in Their Flying Machines: Dick Dastardly and Muttley The Flintsones: Barney Rubble The Flintstones: Betty Rubble The Jetsons: Rosie Wacky Races: Penelope Pitstop  Space Ghost: Zorak Captain Planet: Doctor Blight The Yogi Bear Show: Yogi Bear The Huckleberry Hound Show: Huckleberry Hound Jabberjaw: Jabberjaw  Casper and the Angels: Space Officer Maxi Hong Kong Phooey: Hong Kong Phooey The Powerpuff Girls: Ms. Bellum Moby Dick and the Mighty Mightor: Serpent Queen Inch High, Private Eye: Inch High Things are going to get buckwild, folks. Strap in.  Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ

Avast, my hearties. It's time to hoist the colors and set sail for an experience that Talk Like a Pirate day really didn't prepare us for. This is Hard Choices, the podcast that ranks the fuckability of fictional characters looking for the zenith, median, and nadir in a given universe, but really, it's about all the timbers we shivered along the way. This month, we're plunging our swords into Our Flag Means Death! Join me, Captain MeganBob, and me hearties Aly Grauer, Mel D'Amato, and James D'Amato as we discuss the difficulty of transplanting hydrophilic polycules to life on land. And we also talk about horses for some reason? And the way cat pee smells? Look, ye lubbers, with a crew this unarguably fuckable, we had to fill time out there on the podcast seas. Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire, including updates about the upcoming LIVE Bad Choices - Hanna-Barbera recording on Saturday, April 20th at 5pm Pacific! Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Tumblr: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

We at Hard Choices like to think we have our fingers on the throbbing pulse of pop culture, so when Baldur's Gate 3 won just about every Game of the Year award purely out of how horny it made everyone, we knew we couldn't pass up the opportunity to explore the delicious nooks and sweaty crannies of the Sword Coast through the lens of this groundbreaking, bed-shaking trilogy. Join Dan, Maq, Miles, and Meganbob as we ask: which heroes and villains are we saving our highest-level spell slots for, and which ones are we leaving behind in the deservedly Forgotten Realms? When everything from vampires to mind flayers to actual bears are on the table, is any monsterfucker truly safe? And most importantly, how do we feel about possibly having a miniature giant space hamster secretly watching our every thrust and gasp? Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire, including updates about the upcoming LIVE Bad Choices - Hanna-Barbera recording on Saturday, April 20th at 5pm Pacific! Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Tumblr: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

NOTE: You want a calendar with shirtless Irish farmers on it? Naturally, you do. Throw $4.20 at Hard Choices and get entered to win one of these three perfect pieces of useful wall art. It was just another quiet day in the Soul Society until Hard Choices rolled up, ready to find out exactly how much reishi everyone has under those robes! Kurotsuchi probably already knows the answer to that question, but his methods for finding out just aren't personal enough for Neal Butler, Kit, MeganBob, and TikTok legend Cosplayfiend! Only working through our list to find out who fucks like every move is their Bankai and who fucks like they'd really rather be doing a training montage can give us the dark knowledge we crave. Just how insufferable is Gin's creepy self-satisfaction? How sexy is a basket-wearing wolfman? How much do all of us want to lay our heads on Shunsui's very hairy chest? You can only find the answers to these questions by going on a journey that's almost as long as the entirety of BLEACH, but don't worry, we won't make you learn about Bounts. Join us as we take one of the Big Three among anime and give it the working over that no amount of cheesecake pinups and sexy cosplay could have prepared you for. Cosplayfiend is already TikTok legend for his takes on some of these sword-swingers, so don't miss that either. Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire! Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social Gmail: hardchoicespod@gmail.com Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

Big government isn't sexy. But small government? Local government? That government where you can get right up close and see the process unfolding. That government where you can run into your city councilor at the gym? Or at the local liquor store? Or trying to bribe a raccoon for votes? That's the kinda government you can get down and dirty with. This month, Hard Choices visits the recent past with a trip to Pawnee, Indiana. Yes, the bright-eyed innocence and the can-do attitude that believes yes, holes can be filled. We rounded up Kam Servo, Owen Winters, Kris Newton, and MeganBob to break a few noise ordinances (and one about keeping your pets on a leash.) Whether you're hot for Ron Swanson, April Ludgate, or genuinely ready to take the biggest dick in Pawnee, courtesy of JerryGaryLarry, this episode has you covered. Hard Choices: It's horniness you can believe in! (And the outtakes are normally only on Patreon, but I couldn't resist leaving them in as a little December giftie - MBob) Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire! Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Gmail: hardchoicespod@gmail.com Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO https://uppbeat.io/t/tatami/dust License code: W2S2RPXGLVQIUO8J

Hard Choices swept through all of the 80's cartoons you know and love to select the cream of the crop (and Allo from Dinosaucers) to make sure that this episode is peak after peak. You can expect Big Feels aplenty from Hub, Annie Craton, Meganbob, and host, Kris Newton, as they get vocal about Cobra Commander, Master Splinter, Gadget, and Krang. Never has a group of characters cried out so powerfully for us to ask "how good is the sex and what is it like?" and we can promise that you'll get some answers that will make you gasp, laugh, and maybe even rush to AO3 for a fanfic fix.  The video of the panel, slideshow, and individual rankings are publicly available on Patreon! Check it out here to see our adorable faces! Video and audio of the panel was recorded live at Rose City Comic Con 2023, courtesy of Derek Conrad of the Bugs Need Heroes podcast. Check it out here! "Hottest Female up in Whoville" can be found here! Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire! Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Gmail: hardchoicespod@gmail.com Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO https://uppbeat.io/t/tatami/dust License code: W2S2RPXGLVQIUO8J

On September 3rd, 2023, four plucky perverts disappeared into the depths of the Internet while recording a podcast about their yearning to fuck cryptids. One month later, their audio was found. (Then, the editor spent three weeks making it listenable. Two of the hosts were sick and the other two were sharing a microphone, so there are probably some errant thumps and sniffles, but let's not speak ill of the mysteriously vanished.) This episode is dedicated to James D'Amato MeganBob Kit Mulkerin and Sarah the four brave blur-chasers whose pursuit of the unknown (i.e., their desire to fuck Mothman ASAP) cost them what they held most dear (i.e, the possibility of fucking Mothman in the future).   Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire!   Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Gmail: hardchoicespod@gmail.com Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO https://uppbeat.io/t/tatami/dust License code: W2S2RPXGLVQIUO8J

Can something be simultaneously wholesome, horny, and hilarious? Only if you're the Hard Choices podcast. Hard Choices looks at the bedroom skill of fictional characters and asks "how good is the sex and what is it like?" What does that sound like as a podcast? Buddy, this trailer takes you through some highest highs and most unbelievable lows of ranking the f*ckability of fictional characters. If you've ever thought that Miss Piggy was a pillow princess or that Ra's al Ghul was a Daddy, this show is for you. If you like this trailer, pick any episode that piques your interest and give it a try! The episodes are standalone and don't require listening in any order or that you listen to all of them so grab what calls to you! And if you're already a regular listener but you want to get new folks into it, this is an easy way to share what you love about the show with friends!  Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire!  Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social

If Shakespeare were alive today, he would have a podcast. What kind, you ask? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it would feature iambic pentameter, stirring monologues, wall-to-wall dirty jokes, and flexible attitudes towards sex and gender. Holy shit, is MeganBob Shakespeare?! Maybe so, because all of those things appear in this Hard Choices episode about the works of the Bard! Lend us your ears as Dan Mulkerin, Cate Osborn (aka Catieosaurus), and Stella Cheeks join Bob not to praise 21 of Shakespeare's most memorable characters, but to bone them. Which of Shakespeare's characters has the best drugs? Which one is, for better or worse, the crustiest? Which one do we want to lick our boots, and which one's boots do we want to lick? If you're looking for definitive answers... well, listen to these two hours of sound & fury and see how that works out for you. Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire, including updates about the upcoming LIVE Hard Choices recording at Rose City Comic Con on Sunday, September 24th at 4pm!  Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Tumblr: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

We have a date and time for our Rose City Comic Con live show: Sunday, September 24th from 4-5 PM in room D135-136! Come see the show, hear us rank 80s cartoon characters, get your free gift baggie, and hang out with us!

From a dank jail cell, where they are being interrogated by the Seekers of Truth (who may end up learning more truths than they bargained for), MeganBob hosts Hard Choices: Dragon Age Edition! Hornier than a whole platoon of Qunari warriors, MeganBob is joined by Elven Ranger Annie Craton, mononymous Human Bard Maquenzie, and the very best nug in Thedas, Kit Mulkerin, as they plumb the depths of the Deep Roads, scale the peaks of the Frostback Mountains, and stroll across the Elvish Dales in search of the most fuckable denizens of the Dragon Age universe. On the way, we discover: The pros and cons of Loghain's ass Spoiler alert for an 8-year-old DLC How many movie references can Annie make? Guest starring Neal Butler as The Seeker, who was cut from the list in order to be fair to the rest of the characters. Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire, including updates about the upcoming LIVE Hard Choices recording at Rose City Comic Con on Sunday, September 24th at 4pm!  Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Tumblr: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Gmail: hardchoicespod@gmail.com Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

We all know that with great power comes great responsibility. You know what else comes with great power? Us when we think about Spider-Man! It's not just Peter Parker who makes our web-shooters go thwip, either; he's got a huge cast of friends, foes, and supporting characters to suit every taste, from monsterfucks like Venom, to adorable loser fucks like The Shocker, to the jackpot herself, Mary Jane. This episode, your friendly neighborhood MeganBob pushes DEEP into the Spiderverse to find the median, the zenith, and the nadir of its fuckability, all with the help of: The Amazing Annie Craton! The Spectacular James D'Amato! And Dan Mulkerin from an alternate reality where he never lost his Captain Universe powers! IN THIS ISSUE: Dan single-handedly promotes Tombstone from D-tier to Daddy-tier MeganBob discovers the only bad way to listen to "The Cruel Angel's Thesis" Annie lets Carnage's gooey appeal blind her to his, you know, everything else And James finally takes a public stance on whether eating boys is wrong! Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire, including updates about the upcoming LIVE Hard Choices recording at Rose City Comic Con on the weekend of September 22nd-24th!   Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Tumblr: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

Hard Choices is coming to Portland, Oregon for Rose City Comic Con, September 22-24th! We'll pass on the information about the day and time as soon as we find out when we'll be performing. I'll update again here and on the Hard Choices social media! It's brand new and I'm still figuring some of it out, but come say hi! Twitter Instagram TikTok

In 1994, Disney's Gargoyles glided into the preteen hearts of the afternoon cartoon crowd, appealing to us in ways we wouldn't fully comprehend for years to come: its borrowings from Shakespeare, for example, and the unfamiliar yearning that Demona's loincloth made us feel. Nearly thirty years later, we are no longer children, and we have put away childish things in favor of podcasts about childish things. At last, we're ready to engage the undeniable horniness of this 90's cartoon and imagine what a night of passion with a gargoyle (or a Disney Afternoon delight with Elisa Maza) would be like. Get ready for Annie Craton, Kris Newton, Lilian Carlisle, and MeganBob to unleash decades of pent-up thirst for some of their most formative monsterfucks. To sign up for Bad Choices - Square Enix on Saturday, June 24th at 6pm Pacific/9pm Eastern (as well as the preshow, The Squeenix Squabble), either sign up for the Hard Choices Patreon at the $4.20 level to be registered automatically, or buy a ticket direct from the event page by clicking here. Don't forget to use the promo code EGGPLANT for $2 off if you buy before Tuesday, June 20th! Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

Chuck Jones and Mel Blanc couldn't have guessed what we'd do when we got our hands on their creations. To be honest, I'm not sure we could have guessed either. That's the power of alcohol! Join Annie Craton, Dan Mulkerin, Kris Newton, and MeganBob for a Chungus of an episode that's full of bad choices. The takes are more explosive than a warehouse full of Acme products and the descent into drunken chaos will leave you satisfied in ways that not even the Tazmanian Devil himself could match. For your safety and the safety of others, please do not listen to this while operating heavy machinery. Frankly, listening to it in public may just be a bad idea full stop.  Notes: If you want to hear the rest of this episode right this moment, then click here to join the Hard Choices Patreon! You can hear the other ninety dang minutes of this beast, along with hours and hours of bonus episodes and outtakes for a mere $1.69 a month! Nice!  If you want to see Bad Choices - Square Enix go down on June 24th at 6PM Pacific/9PM Eastern on Crowdcast, you can either subscribe to Patreon at $4.20 a month and I'll add you to the event or you can buy a ticket direct from the event page by clicking here. Don't forget to use the promo code Eggplant!    Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO https://uppbeat.io/t/ill-kitchen/black-life License code: DYLLL10UX13VLYV0 https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed License code: C1WTYZUQK0DNEDFT

You arrive at the opulent podcast of Mr. MeganBob to find yourself surrounded by three of their most dubious acquaintances: Dan Mulkerin, Lillian Carlisle, and Kris Newton. Apparently, they've all been summoned to rank the fuckability of characters from the classic mystery board game (and cult film) Clue. However, something seems... off. These hosts are keeping secrets, and when foul play disrupts the evening, the suspects' stories don't quite add up. It's as though one or all of these shady podcasters are vile liars and murderers! Or perhaps MeganBob got busy this month during prime podcast recording time, and this episode is weird to compensate! Regardless, there's nothing we can do but act normally -- perv on Professor Plum, gush about Chef White, fall into horny rapture about doe-eyed subs who want to be pounced on -- and wait for the final summation to reveal who did it to MeganBob, where, and with what. Or at least which board game characters three nerds are hot for. Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me   License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk   License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman   License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it   License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life   License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time   License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop   License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed   License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up   License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz   License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it   License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO https://uppbeat.io/t/aaron-paul-low/not-remotely-sorry License code: ZAMNT4CHXTJYOWJG

It's time to leave the battlefield and enter the bedroom, because this episode of Hard Choices sees our hosts visiting the wide and wild multiverse of Magic: the Gathering! We've got elves, gorgons, vampires, golems, dragons, and more--and all of them are DTF! We've drawn Claire, Dan, Kit, and Meganbob to ask: Which characters are we putting into the command zone of our boners? Which are we consigning to the graveyard of our disinterest? And, perhaps most importantly, which color of Magic can absolutely get it? Tap this episode to find out! By the way, we have a Patreon! You can support the show and get access to all the behind-the-scenes hilarity and other cool perks! Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY

The Tarot! The mystery and magic of life's journey have never been so adeptly captured in any other collection of cards, except maybe Yu-Gi-Oh. In this episode, three spirits penetrate the Tarot's mystery and make some magic as they rank the fuckability of the Major Arcana. Dan Mulkerin weaves tales of infuriatingly excellent and crushingly mediocre fucks; Kris Newton, safely deceased and heedless of privacy, interprets the cards in light of his personal sexual history; and MeganBob sacrifices their very brand to espouse the sexiness of earnest, responsible love. Most importantly, we've got part-time fortune-teller Kit Mulkerin (complete with part-time accent) to command the spirits with the big deck energy such a task demands. Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO RECORD SCRATCH sound effect A SoundEffectsFactory original production & recording made for YouTube

Webster's dictionary defines 'median' as "a value in an ordered set of values below and above which there is an equal number of values." Webster's dictionary doesn't define 'fuckability' because Webster was a nerd. Do you know who isn't a nerd? The four guests who stepped up to tackle every single median that Hard Choices has fucked its way through. Dan Mulkerin, Kit Mulkerin, Zadkiel, and MeganBob round up every median from the past 21 episodes of Hard Choices and give them a second chance in the sack.  If trying to sort through the likes of Toucan Sam, Gandalf, and Brienne of Tarth in our quest to find the median of medians sounds like a good time to you, then get yourself a bowl of thematically appropriate plain yogurt, hit download, and enjoy!  By the way! March 15th, 2023 is Bad Choices, the live and intoxicated version of Hard Choices, and it goes down through Patreon livestream for all $4.20 patrons! You'll get to participate in Let's Upack That among other perks that you'll find out about at patreon.com/hardchoices! Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY

Gather round, heroes, and hear tell of the largest swords, roundest orbs, and hottest dragons ever seen in the land of Krynn! Experienced adventurers Meganbob, Miles, and Dan are joined by level 1 neophyte Neal Butler--but worry not, Neal is a dirty min-maxer and has no trouble keeping up with the horny analysis all four hosts bring to this special episode. Which Hero of the Lance captures our hearts and boners, and which are we abandoning to the Abyss? What sorts of books does Astinus the Chronicler keep in the restricted area of the library? And does anyone actually want to bone Lord Soth? Listen and find out! Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY

You may escape the heart of the underworld, boy, but you will never escape the throbbing heart of horniness! In fact, this might be the horniest episode of Hard Choices ever, as Annie Craton, Claire Mulkerin, and Zadkiel join MeganBob in ranking the fuckability of the gods and legends from Hades, the roguelike from Supergiant Games. They start with the median and work their way down to the nadir, but then the drama aeschylates quickly as they work their way up to the zenith, where each host sings the praises of the Olympian they're most eager to mount. Prepare, you who toil in Tartarus, to pause in your work and spill tears (or other bodily fluids) for this ode to a Grecian urge! We hope you find it.... cathartic. By the way, we have a Patreon! You can support the show and get access to all the behind-the-scenes hilarity and other cool perks! Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY

Attention, citizens of Gotham! We regret to inform you that the inhabitants of Arkham Asylum roam your streets tonight, and that your beloved hero Batman will not be coming to your rescue! But you know who WILL be coming? That's right, it's tonight's Hard Choices hosts! We may not have a lifetime of martial arts training and a belt full of strongly themed gadgets, but if being a hero means having to fuck our way to victory over every last one of these costumed weirdos, then Meganbob, James D'Amato, Elle Collins, and Chris Sims are most assuredly the heroes Gotham deserves! By the way, we have a Patreon! You can support the show and get access to all the behind-the-scenes hilarity and other cool perks! Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY

Halloween is just Valentine's Day for monsterfuckers, and a very horny Halloween it is too! To celebrate the bounty of the season, our hosts gathered up 21 of the most hair-raising horrors ever committed to screen and ranked their fuckability using the only hard science that really counts.  MeganBob is joined by experienced monster-loving mavens Stella Cheeks and Lillian Carlisle, along with Kris Newton, who is only just beginning this journey towards being claimed by that which goes bump in the night.  In their search for the median of monstrous fuckability, everyone learns about therapy-fucks, embracing the void, and who's a very good boy.  Whether your taste runs to Hellraiser, The Shape of Water, or The Bride of Frankenstein, we promise that there's a monster here that you'll be down to do the monster mash with. So, download this episode, steal a couple of candies from the bowl, and hold on tight for an episode guaranteed to make all of your very sweetest nightmares come true.    By the way, we have a Patreon! You can support the show and get access to all the behind-the-scenes hilarity and other cool perks! Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY

It is I, the Hamburglar! Where is MeganBob? Safe and content, I assure you. True, after they plumbed the depths of their desire for commercial mascots in this episode,  I whisked them away to my personal playplace in a secluded corner of McDonaldland. But, for once, I have not played the villain -- even I cannot robble what is freely given. Still, they are indisposed, so there will be no episode description today, but rather a cautionary tale. In this episode, Meganbob, Hub, Kit Mulkerin, and James D'Amato dared to seek their boners in my world, the world of capitalism's most beloved and seductive avatars -- like me, the Hamburglar! In the chaos that ensued, Chester Cheetah pushed Kit's love for Flamin' Hot Cheetos to the limit; James fell to the allure of a bathhouse where Tony the Tiger rubs shoulders with Mr. Clean; and all were left to wonder what darkness hides behind the hungry eyes of Poppin' Fresh. I return now to my lavish hideaway, where my lover's buns await my covetous touch. Whether you listen to this episode is your own affair. You know the risks, if ever one of these rakish brand representatives has persuaded you to give in to a base desire for Froot Loops, or the fantasy of effortless toilet cleaning. Know that other urges, too, may strike like thieves in the night... and I assure you, there is nothing so easily stolen as a heart. Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R

You know, when MeganBob suggested this episode, a lot of the other hosts thought they were joking. Not one to be discouraged, they found three erotic galaxy brains willing to make a "Rainbow Connection" with The Muppets. What on earth is going to happen when you get three impassioned Muppet fans together to try and find the median of Muppet f*ckability? Well, it goes a lot like an episode of The Muppet Show.  Join James D'Amato, Kris Newton, Crys, and MeganBob on a quest to get "felt" up by every Muppet that's ever taken to the stage (and maybe some we found in the alley behind the theatre.) One of us makes the case for a Daddy Himbo Muppet, one of us is tentatively willing to blow up a building if the orgasm is good enough, and one of us is asking you to please not proposition them with a Janice puppet (wink wink.)  Part amateur Masters and Johnson, part earnest love letter to the world of Jim Henson, part utter madness, this is an episode that can't really be explained. It can only be experienced. By the way, we have a Patreon! You can support the show and get access to all the behind-the-scenes hilarity and other cool perks! Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY  

Happy Cagemas in...Well, let's call it July overtime, shall we? Sure, it's a cynical cash-grab to double up on Cagemas by doing Cagemas in July, but we never apologize for double-stuffing here on Hard Choices. Let's be honest, we all want to talk about boning Nic Cage characters. That's just the human condition. Five of the former hosts of the Smash Fiction podcast gathered together to live the dream. Stands are taken for wizards, spiders, truckers, writers, chefs, you name it. If you're expecting a lukewarm episode, think again. Bob is barely able to string a coherent thought together, such is their thirst in this one. We may only cover fifteen Cages but the horniness here is enough to rock an entire cinematic career. You think you won't have feelings when you listen to this. You think you'll remain aloof and above looking at Nicolas Cage with erotic longing. When your walls start to crumble, don't be afraid. Lean into the nouveau shamanic embrace of The Cage. 

In our unending quest to understand fuckability, the Hard Choices crew plucked out a list of notable characters from the Nintendo masterpiece Final Fantasy VI and got down to some fantasizing of our own. Claire Mulkerin, Dan Mulkerin, Alex Roberts, and MeganBob explore an entire floating continent's worth of boners in our search for the median of fuckability in the FFVI universe. We found an indisputable median, but along the way we also delved into blunt himbos, the outfit Kefka makes you wear, and the FFVI character who is most desperate to be pegged. We fuck monsters, ghosts, old guys, banana-looking motherfuckers, and a murder clown, all in the name of bringing you the kind of experience that the fanfiction-producing internet of 1994 simply was not ready for. Hit download, pull up the Yoshitaka Amano concept art, and climb aboard this sexy airship bound for the throbbing heart of horniness. By the way, we have a Patreon! You can support the show and get access to all the behind-the-scenes hilarity and other cool perks! Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R

Some mediums are just too fuckable. Can you really walk past an orchestra pit, playbill in hand, and not feel a stirring in your loins? We didn't think so! That's why we gathered 21 notable characters from stage and screen musicals and sat down to rank their fuckability with a level of precision and rigor that would make a Sondheim song look like child's play.   Hub, Claire, Miles, and MeganBob journey through a wide array of musical history and hit a lot of the highlights and lowlights with this one. Along the way, monsterfucker credibility is threatened. A classic musical is given the sexy BDSM rewrite that it richly deserves. There's a surprising amount of discussion about whether or not we would fuck Goofy. And to top it all off, Bob realizes they left some fuckable crumbs on the table and that they have to live with that forever.   Hit download and let that sweeping score carry you to places Broadway never dared take you.   By the way, we have a Patreon! You can support the show and get access to all the behind-the-scenes hilarity and other cool perks! Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW

Welcome to a very timey wimey episode where we take the entire long history of the Doctor Who franchise and do to it what Jack Harkness only wishes he could. We gathered up 21 characters from a wide spread of old and new Who and sat down in our best fezes and converse to rank the fuckability of all that time and space had to offer in our attempt to find the median of fuckability in the Doctor Who universe. Thankfully, our companions were up to the task. Jaime Smith, Sharon Schneiderman, Kris Newton, and MeganBob tackled the important questions like how likely are you to end up buried alive? Is a Scottish accent enough? Just what kind of cute faces will some of these characters make? And how romantic can one fuck be before MeganBob has to hide under the bed? Pick your favorite room on the T.A.R.D.I.S and settle in for all of the scarf-tangled fucking you can possibly stand. And yes, this is a big episode, but we promise you, it's going to feel MUCH bigger on the inside. By the way, we have a Patreon! You can support the show and get access to all the behind-the-scenes hilarity and other cool perks! Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW

1999 called and it says "hey babe, remember me?" and yes, yes we do. We remember the exact moment when The Mummy first crashed into our lives and touched us in ways we couldn't yet fully articulate. Rick, Evey, Ardeth, all of them, swept us off our feet and we've stayed swept ever since. This universe has some of the crème de la crème of fuckable characters but it also has some real bad eggs in there too. Annie Craton, Kit Mulkerin, Kam Servo, and MeganBob gathered up 21 characters from The Mummy trilogy and tried to figure out what the true median is and uncover some dark and cursed truths along the way. There are some things that shouldn't be read out loud, it turns out. Tune in to find out who's ready for a cartouche imprint on their ass, who loves shooty boys and yee-haws, and more thoughts about yetis than you'd expect. Hit download and enjoy something with enough passion to raise the dead...and maybe touch their butts. Download, put in your earbuds, offer a prayer to Sobek, and enjoy this ride down the Nile to find what lies at the throbbing heart of horniness. 

It may be too late in February for Valentine's Day, but it's never too late for Villaintine's Day. That's right, we brought together four "Poor Unfortunate Souls" and asked them to rank the fuckability of 21 villains from the Disney animated canon. All we can say is "Be Prepared" because we will not stop until we get to the median of fuckability. And what happens when you ask Kris Newton, Kit Mulkerin, Marissa, and MeganBob to brave the "Hellfire" in their deepest darkest hearts like this? Well, you find out about Jekyll & Hydes, who doesn't mind being beheaded, the perils of physical comedy in the bedroom, and just how getting down with Chernabog could maybe work? Hit download, press play, and let your "Friends on the Other Side" of your audio device take you to places that good ol' Walt never could have dreamed of.  By the way, we have a Patreon! You can support the show and get access to all the behind-the-scenes hilarity and other cool perks! Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW

Hold onto your sharply brimmed hats, it's MORTAL KOMBAT! Kam Servo, Miles Schneiderman, Dan Mulkerin, and MeganBob are one step ahead of Outworld in this episode, but the true destination for Hard Choices is always "The NetherRealm". Straight from the scantily klad arcade art of our youths, we rank 21 Mortal Kombat kharacters in an attempt to separate the kolor-swapped filler from the ones that make us say "Get over here!".  We kover it all from animalities to Zaterrans and leave nothing untouched in our quest to unlock the median of fuckability in the Mortal Kombat universe. There's plenty of mashing in this episode and it's not limited to the button variety. We're forced to ask, is four arms the best number of arms? Are we okay with kold feet and kold everything else? Mileena with or without the mask? and wait, THAT'S what Scorpion's animality is??? Midway Games has probably left us with more questions than answers when it komes to the world of Mortal Kombat, but one thing's for sure. We'll never look at the kharacter select screen the same way again... Visit https://www.patreon.com/hardchoices to get the rest of the delicious outtakes including gems such as: -Surprise Johnny Cage fans -What it's like recording in person with MeganBob -Look, we barely even touched on vore, okay! -Practical Effects have certain...effects -More on Miles' hidden fanfic past -Attempted bribery (we're going to keep trying) -Wait, is this a Hard Choices Patreon tier?? Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW

In this episode, we prowl the back alleys of London to get to the bottom of one of Andrew Lloyd Webber's defining musicals: Cats. We didn't leave Tom Hooper out of this though, because, for this episode, we're cats too. And you're a cat. We're all cats. No, no, don't look too closely at the CGI, just trust us, you're definitely a cat. Joining us to find the pick of the litter (and indulge in a surprising amount of musical numbers) are Claire Mulkerin, Miles Schneiderman, Annie Craton, and MeganBob! As we weave our way through the dark sidestreets and the musical numbers we try to sniff out if Rum Tum Tugger is all talk. Are we willing to be one of Jennyanydots projects? Can we get Munkustrap to actually talk about himself for a change? And wait, which one is Cassandra again? Hard Choices has been wild before, but this is Hard Choices after we've been hitting the catnip and a little drunk on cream. Find your favorite sunbeam to lounge in, download, and hit play for an unforgettable journey to the Heavyside Layer.  By the way, we have a Patreon! You can support the show and get access to all the behind-the-scenes hilarity and other cool perks! Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW  

Straight from an edition of the Daily Planet that Lex Luthor definitely wouldn't want you to see comes the Hard Choices rankings of 21 of the most notable members of the Justice League of America. But we don't do rankings of how strong or heroic they are, this is a podcast that investigates their skills in the area of bedroom antics. Sure, these folks can save people from an alien invasion, but can they rock your world? Four noble souls gather together to figure out the definitive f*ckability rankings of the JLA and uncover who sits in the middle of the pack when everyone's done and the obligatory cigarettes are being smoked. In this episode, Dan Mulkerin learns some things about the song of the sea, MeganBob opines on the secret of Superman, Marissa makes the case for combining potato chips, marshmallows, and chocolate syrup, and Hub visits from Titan Up the Defense to tell us all about Batman's truest passion. Oh, and since this is an audio medium, we couldn't include any of the centerfolds Jimmy Olsen did for us but lemme tell you, Booster Gold never looked so good. By the way, we have a Patreon! You can support the show and get access to all the behind-the-scenes hilarity and other cool perks! Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW  

We've got a Patreon! It's aimed at keeping the show sustainable, covering hosting costs, and making weird new stuff possible! Patrons get some nice perks and help guide some of the show decisions! If you want in, go visit Patreon.com/hardchoices The show Patreon is not searchable because it's adult content, which is fair enough. So, if you want to support it and get early access to the Justice League of America episode (up now!) follow the link. Thanks for all of your support and see you soon with more Hard Choices!

This episode of Hard Choices has to be invited into your feed because this time Kris Newton, Kit Mulkerin, Claire Mulkerin, and MeganBob are ranking 21 of media's most interesting vampires. No amount of holy water or garlic will spare you from the intensity of these boners. Sure, many of these vampires might kill you rather than let you make the walk of shame back to your coffin, but that's a risk we're willing to take. How dangerous is Viago? What smells would we put up with from Cassidy? Is Santanico Pandemonium definitely going to make us into a snack? And most importantly, who is the true median of fanged fuckability? Hit that download button and leave your neck exposed, because this episode is guaranteed to leave bite marks.  Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW

I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite episode on the Citadel. The Mass Effect universe is notoriously horny. This dating sim masquerading as a first person shooter offers all the juicy aliens you could ask for. The fuckability of these characters is undeniable, but we won't rest until we scientifically prove it. Who is the median of fuckability in this veritable buffet? We sit down and rank 21 of the most iconic Mass Effect characters to get an answer. Hop in the Mako as we crash headlong into every kind of fuck this universe has to offer and explore the landscape of our own hearts and boners along the way.