Real Human Bings

Hola everyone in and from the Real Human Bings zone! We love that you are still zoning with us. Here's another Frankensteined episode with some random bits we talked about. Specifically, how we'd fix playoff sports and a rant about rich people and corpos hating on the workers of the world. Yeah, that's right, we're true Marxists now guys. (And don't worry, we go down the same conversation rabbit holes we always do about D&D, Star Wars, and our own egos.) Lastly, Picks of the Week. That is all. End notes: Musk just keeps getting worse and worse - https://www.cnn.com/2023/03/07/tech/elon-musk-twitter-employee-disability/index.html Rochester Starbucks workers unionize - https://rochesterbeacon.com/2022/05/05/a-hard-fought-labor-victory/ TTRRUUCES might be bad kids but they're good musicians - https://www.ttrruuces.com/ Nap Eyes ask the burning questions like is Zukerberg a ghost - https://www.napeyes.com/ Year Zero is a fun read IMO - https://dc.fandom.com/wiki/Batman:_Zero_Year You only get One Saturday Morning - https://youtu.be/jinufTKHTdg --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/krandorkroobs/message

What ho fine travelers! Let the RHBer's bend your ear a while and regale you with random ramblings cut from a full episode! This time, Mr. Murdock commits foul crimes in Buffalo, the new Twilight Zone is mentioned in the briefest of cameos, and the boys realize that Bill Burr's name said quickly sounds like Bilbo the hobbit. Last, a shallow dive into Jordan "Baby back ribs" Peterson (I assume that's what the B stands for) and his podcast with Canadian guy Rex Murphy. That's about it my dudes. Endnotes: I love the idea of Sci-Fi shows, maybe I should actually watch them when they're airing so execs won't cancel them? - https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv-news/the-twilight-zone-canceled-at-cbs-all-access-exclusive-4138186/ Hey, not a bad mashup - https://www.reddit.com/r/TheHobbit/comments/tg16qi/billburr_baggins/ Imagine Rex Murphy. Now click on this link to see a picture of him. I bet you a dollar it's not what you're expecting. - https://foodandland.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/rex-murphy-pic.jpg --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/krandorkroobs/message

Whoa, look out! The Vampire Vigilante is out! (Get it? Cuz Bobby Pattinson was also in Twilight?) It's a whole new Batman movie, called "The Batman" this time so don't get confused. It's like that whole thing with "The Suicide Squad" right? A conversations months long in the making between the Bings is included because it's so epic! Or is that tepid? The Bings can't decide. Also our favorite segment that's totally not plagiarized, Picks of the Week! Check it out or the Man who is a Bat might visit you. (Wow, how's that for weird threatening language?) Endnotes: Synthwave remixes galore with this artist! (Check out some Infinity Train remixes to celebrate HBO Max losing its mind and deleting an incredible series from their streaming service! Sarcastic yay!) - https://ko-fi.com/johnzachariahg The Go! Team is a bop dude. And they've been making music since 2000? Awesome stuff - https://thegoteam.co.uk/ For Rochester thrifting experiences, I always liked Greenovation. They dress up the furniture as like real lived in spaces - https://www.instagram.com/rochestergreenovation/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/krandorkroobs/message

Yo dawg, this edit's loose and light today so get on in there! The Bings do their annual tradition of reading each other's fortunes by the Chinese calendar from a random internet site. Will Jacob ever get a good romance year? Will Aulden regret his decision to buy a house? On deck is a cruise through the AARP's Movies for Grownups awards. (Who knew that was a thing?) Last but not least, Picks of the Week! Endnotes: China Highlights Zodiac page - https://www.chinahighlights.com/travelguide/chinese-zodiac/ You can also get special deals on movies with AARP? What can't they do? - https://www.aarp.org/entertainment/movies-for-grownups/screening-program/ Chet's also a vaccine hesitant guy too, cool -https://www.eonline.com/news/1298298/tom-hanks-and-rita-wilsons-son-chet-hanks-faces-backlash-for-covid-19-vaccine-comments Chronotrigger remake still no Switch port?? - https://www.nintendolife.com/news/2022/03/chrono-trigger-gets-ultrawide-219-pc-update-but-still-no-nintendo-switch-release Stay (with an arrow in your knee) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pabI_7nWRyU --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/krandorkroobs/message

The wheel winds and the wheel winds some more and then I guess it keeps going? Our impression of the first episode of "Wheel of Time"? It's pretty circular if you ask me. An expert (Aulden) and a novice (Jacob) for one of the most popular fantasy series of all time took a look and have some thoughts. Are they interesting thoughts? Eh. Also, we finish our long running "I'm Walken Here" series with some weird and wacky and Lynchian surreal horrorish advertisements on the subway. And last but not least, Picks of the Week! (Stay tuned until the very end for some bonus stuff with everyone's favorite Human Bing, Julie!) Endnotes: -Wheel of Time already renewed for Season 3, wow! - https://variety.com/2022/tv/news/wheel-of-time-renewed-season-3-amazon-season-2-premiere-date-1235322113/ -The MTA both rejected but also ran some of these advertisements, odd... - https://www.marketingbrew.com/stories/2022/01/24/mta-rejects-okcupid-ads-that-were-previously-ok-d -Yeah, Inside Job is like just okay, but for Netflix, that's not bad at all! - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDPJQgxegiU -Rolling Stone called Centaurworld "your new favorite show to get high to", huh. - https://www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv-movie-features/centaurworld-netflix-showrunner-interview-1267940/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/krandorkroobs/message

Wowie this was a long one to finish. It was bit cursed with a lot of work having to get done on it, almost like Denis didn't want our lukewarm takes about this movie to be out there! (*Gasp*) Yes we are indeed speaking about the 2021 Oscar nominated film "Dune" with a special guest, Marc Schermerhorn! We touch on our histories with Dune the property, our Good, Bad and Uglies, and look at rule 34 of the navigators! Last but not least, picks of the week! Endnotes: - JPEG Mafia - https://shop.jpegmafia.net/? - Silk Sonic - https://www.silksonic.com/ - I'll leave the Brooklyn 99 Finale recap to someone who actually watched it... - https://www.vulture.com/article/brooklyn-nine-nine-recap-season-8-episodes-9-and-10.html - Career Suicide is funny and heartbreaking - https://www.hbo.com/movies/chris-gethard-career-suicide - Cuz this other little podcast by Gethard needs the boost from RHB nation (Rochester episode!) - https://listen.stitcher.com/yvap/?af_dp=stitcher://episode/200239665&af_web_dp=https://www.stitcher.com/episode/200239665 --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/krandorkroobs/message

Hey! I'm Walken here! Jacob is in a Real Human Field Trip at the Big Apple and he went to three baseball games in that time - the Yankees, the Mets, and the minor league team, the Brooklyn Cyclones! Which one was the definitive best that you should attend if you can only do one? Don't worry, he made a rubric and is going to walk through it with you, and his best buddy Aulden! After that, a new segment called, Into the Vault, where there's a previously unreleased bonus the Bings forgot about... Get a glimpse into sleepy minds and Aulden's thoughts on the phrase "Have a Nice Day!" Lastly, we pick out some picks for Picks of the Week! Endnotes: Spoilers, but of course Jacob liked the Cyclones the most - https://www.milb.com/brooklyn Mariya's from Ukraine actually and the song is a remix of her song... So I didn't do a factcheck obviously - https://genius.com/artists/Mariya-chaykovskaya At the time, "Have A Nice Day" got a bunch of western media buzz. It's worth a watch I'd say - https://www.npr.org/2018/01/25/579763911/in-the-brutal-animated-film-have-a-nice-day-nobody-does Luna was called a "Bedpop" artist which is a cool name I think - https://luniana.bandcamp.com/ I'm glad Cosmo is expanding out and letting people know what order to read Wheel of Time in - https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/books/a38282040/the-wheel-of-time-books-best-order/ This statue of King Arthur is weird looking and I want to go visit there someday - https://mymodernmet.com/rubin-eynon-bronze-sculpture-gallos/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/krandorkroobs/message

What's up Glibglobs? It's "Where in the World is Jacob?" time for Aulden as he's calling from a hot steamy car in an undisclosed location. Will Aulden be able to figure out the clues and dox his friend? Also these boys talk about the boyz, those of a Glacier variety. Yes, it's the Fan Controlled Football League, a twitch based experiment attempting to create a new way of watching football. Did it work? Eh. Lastly, Picks of the Week! Endnotes: Who knows if this will be functioning by the time the ep hits... But here's Fan Controlled Football! - https://www.fcf.io/ Check out Silver Sands if you're ever around the area. - https://portal.ct.gov/DEEP/State-Parks/Parks/Silver-Sands-State-Park Pen and Paper Football league, for those nerds who want to get beat up over not the normal things - https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/213129/Pen--Paper-Football Jomboy Media for your indepth baseball breakdowns - https://www.youtube.com/user/phshockey12 --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/krandorkroobs/message

...where we came in? Are we stuck in a loop? Uh oh, sounds like a crazy situation for a Game Over Man! The game we are overing today? Devolver Digital's newest indie type idle roguelike other adjectives, Loop Hero. You play in the ruins of a destroyed world, trying to resurrect your own memories. (Dark Souls what?) However, the only way you can help your hero as he loops endlessly through the world is by placing monster tiles to buff him up more and more. It's a weird mechanic that we thought was worth an episode! (Also we talk about how good Hades is because we can't stop it for some reason) Listen to it now! Wait, isn't this... Endnotes: Loop Hero had a special marketing campaign strategy - https://www.gamesindustry.biz/articles/2021-05-03-solving-the-marketing-mystery-of-loop-hero Hades did indeed win some BAFTAS! (Among a lot of other deserving awards) - https://deadline.com/2021/03/bafta-games-awards-2021-hades-takes-home-top-prize-complete-winners-list-1234721128/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/krandorkroobs/message

It's finally come. An epic showdown for the ages with Bing fighting against Bing. (I guess this framing would work better for "Batman v. Superman" but when you start with a courtroom framework, you commit at some point) That's right, fear no longer because RHB is here to give their two cents on everyone's favorite dark and brooding film de jour, "Zach Synder's Justice League"! Joined with RHB Stephen Smart, who, along with us, predicted in 2017 this would never happen. Well, we're at least good to our word that we would watch it when if it ever came out! We dive into our thoughts on the four hour long cinematic experience. (Jacob and Aulden did it all in one sitting while doing a drinking game!) Endnotes: Avery Blue (Plunderphonics youtuber) - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjN5hZ33RhSsOsZwkUS20Yw The Hu (Awesome Mongolian rock band) - https://www.thehuofficial.com/ Stuff keeps coming out about Joss Whedon, it's hard to keep up... - https://www.ign.com/articles/justice-league-ray-fisher-joss-whedon-gaslighting-claims-dceu-reshoots My favorite of the video essayist legit film criticism of Zach Synder, Maggie Mae Fish - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOd6ZYZE5uA Apparently, Paul Bettany's funny phrase came from his mom! - https://comicbook.com/marvel/news/avengers-infinity-war-paul-bettany-snitches-in-ditches-origin-ac/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/krandorkroobs/message

Today, Aulden asks the question we've all been thinking. Really, why can't all sports teams just have animal names? A look at Cleveland's options for new baseball team names, the many crimes of Ryan Seacrest finally put on trial, a non-endorsement of fashion choices from RHB is what you have to look forward to in this BONUS episode! Hit the theme! Endnotes: This year was truly a strange one. - https://abc.com/shows/new-years-rockin-eve Reading the comments from pro-keep-the-name-Indian fans was... Eyeopening... - https://www.cleveland.com/tribe/2020/12/survey-shows-cleveland-indians-name-change-has-altered-baseball-discourse-among-readers.html --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/krandorkroobs/message

Happy Year of the Ox! May all your dreams be moderately to fully fulfilled this 2021! Returning to a sometimes tradition of taking a look at Chinese Zodiac, RHB sees what's in store for their future of 2021 and Season 5. Does good or bad luck await our heroic bingers? Will it be better than 2020 at least? Next, a Real Human Bing Search on a classic detective character from the 1930s, Charlie Chan. Aulden and Jacob talk about finding value in questionable content, historical context, and old movie tendencies. Lastly we have our cool Picks of the Week! Endnotes: What does your 2021 future hold? If you believe in that stuff check it - https://www.chinahighlights.com/travelguide/chinese-zodiac/ox.htm 法老 "百变酒精", Official Music Video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zv-ZK1GEr1E Did you know the Honolulu PD has a hall of fame? Now you do - https://www.honolulupd.org/hall-of-fame/detective-chang-apana/ Piece about Yunte Huang, writer of a controversial reclaiming of Charlie Chan - https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=129424778 Cursory googling on Moreland reveals little unfortunately. I really really think his talent deserved more. - https://www.nytimes.com/1973/09/29/archives/moreland-actor-is-dead-at-72-played-in-chan-films-and-in-black.html "Birdemic: Shock and Terror" (2010) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jE5dJDgZ644 D&D was a collection of a lot of different fantasy tropes at the end of the day... - https://screenrant.com/dungeons-dragons-book-origins-inspiration-fantasy-novels-stories/ I'm sure if they won the Superbowl, the next day Bills fans would have donated to Tom Brady's favorite charity. - https://www.baltimoreravens.com/news/bills-mafia-s-donations-nearing-half-a-million-in-support-of-lamar-jackson-bless --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/krandorkroobs/message

Tin Foil hat time! What's the weirdest but most acceptable thing you think is a conspiracy?? Attempting to recapture some of the topic magic from a lost episode (where we discussed Zack Synder and Justice League too), we dive into our favorite conspiracy theories that are also probably not that harmful. Also, we highlight a horrible comic strip from the 1980s in a new, so far untitled segment looking at the Chinese martial artist hero Shang Chi. It's pretty crazy what comics get away with sometimes... Lastly, we have our favorite segment of this episode and every episode, our Picks of the Week. Endnotes: MT/Lake's Theme, John G. Infinity Train is great y'all and so is this youtube musician. - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7toUfjDmgmU The Time Cube website - https://timecube.2enp.com/ CIA Psychics - https://www.cia.gov/library/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP96-00788R001900760001-9.pdf I've linked before, but I'll keep doing it as long as they keep making cool music - https://www.shanghairestorationproject.com/ "What the--?! Comics" ran for 26 issues total. The Shang Chew escapade is from #4. - https://www.mycomicshop.com/search?TID=96621 I won't link to Amazon for Kindle, but I will link to this 11 year old sketch! - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPe2pg0wdGg Big Boi talks about "Running up that Hill" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSdHgq3oBD8

It heats up this time for Game Over Man! as the guys take on Supergiant's newest delightfully fun rougelike, Hades. The prince of Hades is trying to escape the very bowels of hell as his dad (and final boss man) disapprovingly looks on. Live, die, repeat in this experience where each playthrough is different with a wide variety of weapon and power combinations. Spoiler, we thought it was pretty darn good. Endnotes: Polygon has the best take here and reminded me we didn't talk about Cerberus as much as he deserves - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPF5SysYmJs

You know it's coming, I know it's coming, the Apocalypse! Time to get your duds ready! Today, Aulden and Jacob find their essential apocalypse, scavenger, Mad Maxian selves through the most sophisticated process in the known universe: Bing Searches. Specifically the formula "Name + Apocalypse + Gear" (Try it yourself at home!) Who would win in a fight? And more importantly, who is more fashion? Listen to find out... Endnotes: Check the IG if you want da pics of da outfits

This your daily reminder from Duo the owl to listen to Real Human Bings! Why does free services on the internet often breed such vitriol? Can't we all be civil? Can you believe that some place as innocent as the language learning app Duolingo has a dark side to the comments section? Get ready for Aulden and Jacob to discuss what makes people entitled on the internet. Also, we pitch some movies in one of our favorite segments, "Pitch it or Ditch it!" (Keywords: Avatar prequel and Rami Malek rom-com) Lastly, our favorite favorite segment, "Picks of the Week!" Endnotes: Duolingo knows it's annoying too you guys - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wc83qX6oNM Sheldon Leee music page - https://music.163.com/#/artist?id=13790012 We just really like crabs okay? - http://www.realhumanbings.com/episodes/2020/6/27/video-the-crab-guy Decameron 2020 shameless plug - https://anchor.fm/prencipe Atun-Shei Films doing some history - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otTsbqK4U7o Carlos Maza is going independent - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_wzZPcFLOc

It’s a feed drop! An episode from a friendly fellow podcast that we think you might just like! :) Today, we drop an episode of “Decameron 2020,” a podcast dedicated to telling interesting stories in our era of quarantine just like the 14 century one! This particular story features one half of the RHB crew. Listen as he regales you with a strange but real encounter while living in China. Subjects broached, taxis, dance music and roosters. Endnotes: If you like this episode, check out more here - https://anchor.fm/prencipe

Come spend a while with your good RHB buddies Aulden and Jacob for this bonus episode about evolution. Pokemon Evolution! Wait dont’ go! If you’re not into that, we compare Pokemon to “Inherit the Wind” and posit a reason for the immortal existence of Jessie, James and Meowth. It’s also a time for our newest spinoff segment, Movies of Our Lives! Bruce Willis and Patrick Swayze reign as kings of our birthday movies, forever and always. Endnotes: I really like the movie version of “Inherit the Wind.” It’s a great old timey one. - www.vudu.com/movies/#!content/140857/Inherit-the-Wind Jessie and James reddit conspiracy theories abound - https://www.reddit.com/r/pokemonconspiracies/comments/2s8umg/jessie_james_and_meowth_are_clones/ That’s a big ol 1.5 stars from Roger Ebert on “Striking Distance.” Can’t say I disagree… - https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/striking-distance-1993 No Ghosting! - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RFD8O1pNZk

Do you ever feel like you have a target on your back? A target for ads? Well we certainly do and we talk about it on this episode of our fun time podcast! Starting off with Real Human Bing Search on targeted ads, we share the strangest ads we’ve ever been shown. Praise the Algorithm! Next, we delve into the early 2000s music scene and pull out some surprisingly good hits with Playlist of Our Lives (2001-2004). And last but not least, our Picks of the Week. Endnotes: So Zeynep Tufekci turns out to be a Turkish name! Also an interesting person! - https://twitter.com/zeynep?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor If you can find someone in the wild wearing a horribly generated t-shirt, it’s even better - https://www.reddit.com/r/TargetedShirts/ Ted Cruz’s transition to country music seems like absolute pandering to me - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nik-UstmCjw&t=13s We love us our mashup artists here on RHB - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8Kzqzd5IT4 Star Wars: X-Wing Rogue Squadron is a treasure. I don’t care that it’s not canon anymore. - https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Star_Wars:_X-Wing_Rogue_Squadron Check out Aulden’s hard work! - https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/313149/The-Quantum-Ogre

Mount up fellows! It’s time to ride to the second battle, using our blades! It’s a medieval romp this time on Game Over Man! A game that Aulden has waited nearly a decade for has finally arrived. You are a lord plopped down in “Not-Europe” where you can fight in battles, form alliances, build castles, sell goods, and anything else you could imagine! What did we think of it? Go ahead and give it a listen! Endnotes: You can also make Pikachu your banner so that’s pretty cool - https://www.pcgamer.com/bannerlord-banner-codes/

Combining the speed of an serpent, the toughness of a goat, and the courage of a lion, we Real Human Bings have emerged stronger than ever with this new strategy game! XCOM Chimera Squad is a surprise sequel to the XCOM franchise which amps up the action, cuts down the tediousness, and characterizes your heretofore faceless soldiers. What did RHB Jacob think of this game? Well you just have listen now don’t you? Endnotes: Sid Meier gives his thoughts - https://www.polygon.com/2020/4/28/21238666/xcom-chimera-squad-sid-meier-prototype More City 31 Commercials - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dARQbHbeCTM

PG stands for Prince George, the subject of this episode, and Parental Guidance, which you need to listen to this episode. Did you get your permission slip signed young man? Yes, it’s a Field Trip for Jacob up to visit fellow RHBs Aulden, Julie, and the nearly silent co-host Tilda! During the time, the world shut down due to Covid19, so all they had to do for days on end was talk to each other. Impressions of Prince George aren’t the only thing you’ll get to hear. We also have our newest segment, “Pitch it or Ditch it” where we pitch movie ideas based on randomly selected subjects. And of course, we have our Picks of the Week! Praise the Algorithim! Endnotes: Micheal Bay is an auteur? - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyx7YRU4trs&t=1243s For football nerds and people who like games - https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/213129/Pen--Paper-Football The Farewell was like a look into living in China again for me - https://a24films.com/films/the-farewell Honeyland captures drama that even fiction pieces don’t come close to - https://www.theguardian.com/film/2019/sep/11/honeyland-review-beekeeping-bees-north-macedonia-documentary Taran Wanderer is a beautiful book and a great series - https://www.vox.com/2015/8/18/9166631/chronicles-prydain-alexander Babylon Berlin is pulpy noire goodness in a show - https://www.vulture.com/2020/03/babylon-berlin-season-3-review-please-watch.html

It’s time for everyone’s favorite part of any series, the Bonus stuff! Not necessary to follow the main plot, but fun if you like the show, those are my favorite parts anyway. Get ready for 30 odd minutes of random bits that didn’t exactly fit in with the rest of the episodes including but not limited to: Instagram telling us who our S24 Bachelor counterparts are, an introduction to the new Bachelorette, and new book recommendations. Won’t you please accept this final rose and go once more into the breach with us? Kk, thanks! End notes: Maybe we should have done this quiz instead to determine our true counterparts. (I got Victoria F D:) https://www.buzzfeed.com/sydrobinson1/which-bachelor-contestant-are-you-season-24 Someone tell me if it’s good. (Although Idk who I know who would actually watch it… Ppl already find it weird that I watch the Bachelor lol) - https://abc.com/shows/the-bachelor-presents-listen-to-your-heart Colton’s ghostwriter’s new book where he explains his boner code. Cool dude. - https://www.vulture.com/2020/03/colton-underwood-memoir-bachelor-boner-protocol.html

It’s finally finale time and not a moment too soon! The only thing worse that Covid-19 is realizing you wasted two months of your life on a meaningless show! Ready for the most pointless finale ever? One where the lead gaslights a girl into accepting a proposal, then flip flops to a different girl his mother has a bloodfeud with, THEN he breaks up with that second girl after three days?? Me neither, but that’s the season we got! More so than that, Peter’s journey is finally at an end! Or at least we can stop caring about it. And that’s the truest gift of all. Thanks for listening folks. End Notes: Take what you can from this season. Try to learn from it. Somehow... - https://www.vox.com/2020/3/10/21152628/the-bachelor-season-finale-peter-weber-madison-hannah-ann

It's fantasy suite time! And one of the remaining women really can't handle it. Does she leave? Listen to find out! In the beautiful country Down Under, Peter makes his decision about the final three women after the oh so fun fantasy suite. Having to chose between three petite dark haired beauties sure is tough! Also, the women of S24 spill all the tea all over everyone’s laps and it was hot tea so we all have burned groins now. Not really, but the metaphor is an accurate representation of my emotions now. Thanks Bachelor S24! Endnotes: Peter also had a back tattoo! There’s the connection with VF we’ve been searching for!- https://www.cheatsheet.com/entertainment/the-bachelor-peter-weber-matching-tattoos-girl-hed-been-dating-15-days.html/

Is this Bachelor season the Darkest Timeline? Or can any show this stupid really be considered “dark” if it’s only exposing the shallowness underneath? For observations like this and more, check out this episode the the Bingchlor! Melanie and Jacob break down the pre-hometown and hometown dates and try to figure out where it all went wrong. Other questions like: Why does Peter like crazy? How does it feel to stomp grapes in winter? Who would be a good bachelorette? Is Peter good at basketball? (Answer to that last one is no.) It’s pretty good stuff. Endnotes: For me, this NakeyJakey video hits home - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cn4mueJ9wHs

Double Barrel Blast of Bachelor episode recaps and reactions headed your way this episode of the Bingchlor! Melanie and Jacob break down episodes 5 and 6 that featured plenty of drama, lots of crying, even more yelling, and we’re not even talking about the TV show yet! And what is a GILF anyway? (Don’t google it) Endnotes: Get everything you’ve ever needed to know about telenovelas here - https://www.funnyordie.com/telenovelas-are-hell

New episode of the Bingchlor and this one is jam packed tighter than a Browns backfield! Does that football metaphor make sense? Probably not! But the important thing is that episode 4 takes place in the “Mistake by the Lake” Cleveland! Also champagne stealing, country star ex boyfriends, and a grandmother with a teddy bear! Endnotes: Cleveland is great but only fellow rustbelters can make fun of it - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysmLA5TqbIY

“Game Over Man!” gets a medieval makeover this time with Crusader Kings 2. This Paradox Interactive classic is a deeply intricate strategy game where you sound like a sociopath when describing gameplay. The Bings talk about their experiences, RPGing with no external input, and what defines “winning” with no clear goal. Endnotes: CKIII baby! (It says coming 2020 and no more date info… uh oh) - https://www.crusaderkings.com/Jacob mostly agrees with this guy about RPGing - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNUlw_KG6BA

Hey fellow Rosebuds! Are you ready for some hot Bachelor action? Cuz we are! Real Human Bing Melanie and Jacob are finding the answers to this year’s Bachelor, Peter, in the only way they know how… Poorly! After night one, who are the sure bets and the sure messes? Who is a Cat and who is a Rat? And who came up with that awesome phrase? Listen to find out! Endnotes: Cats and Rats CAN get along people! - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2spkG_wm8o

Welcome to… (Dramatic pause) Jurassic Bite! May I take your order? Try our new special Premium Rex Burger for the max amount of dino taste! Hey, we’re going on Shark Tank next month so no one steal this idea okay? Aside from our dinosaur fast food restaurant we also talk about the ethics of stealing random things, “Dark”, season 3 of “Stranger Things”, Benoif and Weiss, and some cool Shakespearean movies. Check it out! Endnotes: TLDR: Dinos taste like birds apparently. Huh. Neat. - https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/ypx4x5/this-is-what-dinosaur-meat-tasted-like

Welcome all to season 4. Glad you could make it! In this episode, we catch you up with all the cool things that we’ve been up to since last episode. Aulden’s a teacher! Jacob’s a moocher! But they’re both still Real Human Bings! We also spill the beans on our former employer [REDACTED] and our honest feedback on the experience. Wanna know the name of the company? You’ll just have to listen to find out… Last but not least, our Picks of the Week! End Notes: Just going to leave that there for anyone interested in reading more about the past… - http://www.vancouversun.com/news/Teachers+allege+grade+inflation+contract+violations+certified+school+China/7603331/story.html Dark isn’t Stranger Things! It’s Darker! - https://www.netflix.com/title/80100172 Celebrities are just like us! (Really this warms my heart though) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yE2J2hxB1c

When the dog bites! When the bee stings! When I’m feeling sad! I simply remember my favorite Bings and then I don’t feel so bad! (I never noticed until now that she rhymed sad with bad. Seems lazy somehow…)Anyway, this is our last episode recorded in China at a Canadian school. We reminisce about what we did and what we’ve learned and then pass the mic to the real coolest cats, our guests. Last but not least, Picks of the Week!Endnotes:Dog Bless - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSdma21fnJzgmPodhC9SJ3gYou’re tearing me apart Aulden! - https://www.vox.com/culture/2017/12/2/16720012/the-room-tommy-wiseau-backstory-explainedAudiobook > Movie - https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Disaster-Artist-Audiobook/B00K5SCCXUGive me my Parasite hipster cred! - https://deadline.com/2020/01/parasite-script-bong-joon-ho-screenplay-read-it-1202819558/Time Adventure

What is the best way to sleep? What is the worst way to sleep? The answer might or might not surprise you! (I don’t know man, it’s some bonus stuff that didn’t make the cut into the full episode. What else do you want??) Just kidding! I could never be angry at you! I just haven’t been getting a restful night’s sleep. Say, maybe this episode will help! In this bonus, you’ll learn from the experts what is the optimal way to sleep. And Aulden and Jacob do their bits in it too! Endnotes: Believable credible website? What do y’all think? - https://www.verywellhealth.com/best-and-worst-sleep-positions-for-health-conditions-4158271

Today you will be visited by a Demonic presence and an Angelic presence in the form of the Real Human Bings! But which one is which? Which leads you to a path of damnation and ruin and the other to eternal salvation? Which should you listen to? We’ll never tell… This episode we break down the adapted TV series, “Good Omens” (2019). Based on the awesome book by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, we discuss their legacies and books as well as the new series and its successes and pitfalls. After that, we have a Real Human Bing Search about a subject near and dear to at least one Human Bing (at the time of recording), sleep. What are the sleep habits of “successful” people? The answers probably won’t surprise you honestly. Last but not least, our Picks of the Week! Endnotes: Good Omens cast responds to IGN Comments (Heartfelt Terry mention

Who are those pokemon?? They’re Auldenchar and Jacobluk! What are they talking about? I don’t know, probably something that’s a few months too late to be pop culturally relevant! (But maybe that’s good because now we have the benefit of reflecting on those first impressions. Or maybe that’s just a justification of always being late with these things. Alright, pull up, get back to the episode description man!) This episode, we discuss our experiences with the phenomenon of Pokemon as well as the newest live action Pokemon movie, “Detective Pikachu” (2019). Next, we do a Real Human Bing Search into an absolutely China experience, Chinese square dancing! Lastly, our Picks of the Week! Endnotes: Sequel already in production! Wow, that was fast! - https://screenrant.com/detective-pikachu-2-pokemon-movie-sequel-release-date/ Full movie - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAA_yWX8ycQ Can’t stop the dancing! - https://www.cnn.com/2017/02/28/asia/china-gets-tough-on-dancing-grannies/index.html What was good about AD&D - http://www.story-games.com/forums/discussion/18860/what-was-good-about-ad-d-2nd-edition Travel to Taiwan - https://www.lonelyplanet.com/taiwan Fubon Guardians! Ever Rising! - https://www.fubonguardians.com/content/masterpage/Index.aspx

Whoa! Another bonus episode! Awesome! We’re basically like a superhero, there to save you when you need them most! This is a collection of our bits and bites from the D&D section of our talk, with some other random things thrown in because we love you! Keywords: D&D, Zizek, Spock and Y2K, real smart big boys Peterson and Shapiro, Marvel Heroes. End Notes: Zizek eating hot dogs - https://twitter.com/nickusen/status/1118253255195275265?lang=en

Oh man! They took Namfoodel? That totally messes up my draft board! Where does Latimer Estman fall now? Or Tormund Bloodreign? Or Rikard Sanchi?? (D&D inside jokes lolololol, totally the way to invite new fans in…) Yes that’s right, today is a double dose of nerd with Playlist of Our Lives Part 4 (1998-2000) and a new segment called the Fantasy Fantasy Draft, which is all about D&D and RPGs. It’s a rollicking good time followed only by the best time of every week, the Picks of the Week. Check it out! End notes: The best theme song ever! - https://www.dndbeyond.com/ Why everyone loves AD&D! - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gImewVPd5o0 Draft Day, it’s Bad Moneyball! - https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2014/04/21/field-maneuvers

Gabbin’ and giggling like gals on this here bonus episode. I can safely call it the most dramatic one ever. Smart people will be brought up, embarrassments will be revealed, birds will be judged and Big Brother is always watching. What does that mean? Listen to find out! (Or just look at the end notes…) End Notes: You can literally watch everything! On one level I’m horrified, on the other, I’m fascinated at how they actually make a show out of it… - https://www.cbs.com/shows/big_brother/live_feed/ Steve Moses wins big on the show. Go Blue Devils! - https://www.fredonia.edu/alumni/statement/coming-age-fredonia-senior-steve-moses-wins-%E2%80%98big-brother-17%E2%80%99-cbs Birds heard what you said Dimarya. This is their response! - http://mentalfloss.com/article/52814/7-awesome-things-birds-can-do

On the most dramatic episode of Real Human Bings yet! Colton’s shall be discussed, tripping and falling will be laughed at, and working moms will finally get a comedy they deserve! Accept this rose and listen along won’t you? Joined by “The Bachelor” experts, first-time-long-time RHB Dimarya Funk and friend of the pod Melanie Peck, they try to explain to Jacob just what captivates them about this famous reality TV show. (Not that he needed much pushing to begin with, he was hooked within the first episode…) They break down the most dramatic season ever as well as why they love this show in the first place. And of course, as always, our favorite part of the week, Picks of the Week. Keywords: nostalgia, hometown, cleanliness, working moms, lots of laughs. Don’t miss it! Endnotes: Jacob should have brushed up beforehand! - https://www.motosport.com/blog/10-atv-riding-techniques-for-beginners Like this show even needs more press… -https://abc.go.com/shows/the-bachelor Seems like a worthy cause, no joke here - http://www.coltonslegacy.org/ Binging With Babish, “Garbage Plate” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjoeVwJTUTA 12 Wings in 12 Hours, “Buffalo Wings” - https://video.bonappetit.com/watch/12-types-of-buffalo-wings-in-12-hours-which-is-the-best America’s favorite sponge! (Besides Bob) - https://scrubdaddy.com/scrub-daddy-original/ Working Moms - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6143796/

When the moon hits your eye, like a Bing Pizza Pie, that’s amore! We are joined this time by another lovely Real Human Bing, Kelsey, to talk about that oh so delicious treat, Pizza! After getting to know our guest with some Real Human Bing Questions, we dive into that pool of goodness comfort food known as pizza. Our Real Human Bing Search brings up topics like: What’s the origin of pizza? When did it come to North America? What’s the best kind of pizza? Is NYC water great? What’s the pronunciation of the name Horge? How’d we end up at that subject? You’ll have to listen to find out! This time we end with some surreal, but ultimately sentimental Picks of the Week! Hope you enjoy our nice fun conversation friends! Endnotes: Oscars, you messed up again! (1 of 2) - https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/burning-2018 The advertisement director’s philosophy on this: “Keep it ALL in!” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ah5vJleVuJQ Oscars, how could you??! (2 of 2) - https://www.rochestercitynewspaper.com/rochester/film-review-if-beale-street-could-talk/Content?oid=9274618 China Dream by Ma Jian - https://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/nov/22/china-dream-by-ma-jian-review Umami YouTube channel- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqrrxZeeFSNCjGmD-33SKMw We’ll miss you studentsa! - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFkTu8Y1KLs

Rule Bingtania, Bingtania rules the radio waves! We went to Jolly old UK, with Jolly old Julie! Two Bings unleased in the most United Kingdom! (errr… about that…) When we weren’t running away from mass mobs of Brexiter’s angry about foreigners in their country, we were enjoying a wonderful holiday in a wonderful location. Listen as we regale about our traveling in some pretty cool spots. Also, we delve into myth and reality with a special Scottish themed Real Human Bing Search! Are kilts, shortbread, tartan really that Scottish? You’ll have to listen to find out. Lastly, our Picks of the Week! End Notes: Here’s what the British Museum has to say about the Parthenon… -https://www.britishmuseum.org/visiting/galleries/ancient_greece_and_rome/room_18_greece_parthenon.aspx Falun Gong explainer - https://www.economist.com/the-economist-explains/2018/09/05/what-is-falun-gong This was the worst game in a while… - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Bowl_LIII Go see this play! - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stags_and_Hens ”Come on Elieen” is a pretty cool song - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UK6v74hQjvA

Once again, we smart up the joint for Too Smart For You, the podcast segment guaranteed to make dummies scratch their heads and smart people nod their heads in pretentious agreement. This time, the smart Stephen Smart and the two (handsome) RHB hosts discuss the short but mysterious shutdown of Bing.com in China, Mark Zuckerberg being equal parts weird and spineless to China, a primer of Chinese political structure, and President Xi Jingping, a true daddy whether or not he knows it. End notes: Bing went down, down, down to the bottom of the sea - https://www.wired.com/story/microsoft-bing-went-down-in-china-and-no-one-will-say-why/ Mark Zuckerberg in China - https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/global-opinions/wp/2018/07/31/mark-zuckerberg-give-up-on-china-before-you-embarrass-yourself-even-more/ Don’t give your goat to Mark - https://thetakeout.com/mark-zuckerberg-killed-a-goat-twitter-ceo-jack-dorsey-d-1832018696 China’s official website which explains EVERYthing about its government (? I didn’t actually read it) -http://www.china.org.cn/english/Political/25060.htm Xi Jingping, the ultimate Daddy - https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Daddy

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, this movie has us shaking on our knees!/”Flight of the Bumblebee”? more like “Plight of the Michael Bay”!/This is a B-movie that earned and A! (I couldn’t think of anything, so take your pick between these three.) Today, we tackle the new movie “Bumblebee” (2018) which was like… Actually okay? I mean, “Fantastic Beasts 2” I would say we soured on, but this movie I don’t think was that bad. We talk about movie tastes and trends in China as well as the Transformers reboot itself. (Or should I say, re-bot!) Next, we delve into the years 1996 and 1997 to uncover another two songs in the playlist of our lives. Lastly, we have some baller Picks of the Week! Endnotes: Transformer Box Office - https://www.boxofficemojo.com/franchises/chart/?view=main&id=transformers.htm&sort=opentheaters&order=DESC&p=.htm Lindsay Ellis “The Whole Plate” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRXI__Wixas&list=PLJGOq3JclTH8J73o2Z4VMaSYZDNG3xeZ7 Patrick H Willems “MIchael Bay: An American Auteur” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyx7YRU4trs Every Frame a Painting “Bayhem” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2THVvshvq0Q Yay, Ninja Sex Party! - http://ninjasexparty.com/ 1996 DNC was lit - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8yqWU0UzeY Aulden's RPG - https://www.pendulumgames.ca/ Marvel makes good stuff, maybe that’s the secret to their success. - https://www.wolverinepodcast.com/

BONUS POD! What’s your opinion on the Myers-Brigs test? Does it reveal hidden depths to your personality? Or is it a bunch of bogus invented by two non-trained bored writers? (Warning: the writer of this episode title is biased) Along with RHB, Melanie Peck, we took the famed 16 personalities test and looked into how it applied to us. We also argue over the validity of the test as well as personality tests in general. Take it yourself! Tell us what you think! Regardless of what the results are, you’re all still human bings to us! End Notes: Take the test yourself! - https://www.16personalities.com/ Learn why it’s meaningless! - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5pggDCnt5M, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NQqSnkI32A

The happiest of New Year’s greetings to you gentle audience! An episode about holidays is in store for you upon this hour! This time, we are joined by REAL HUMAN BING Melanie Peck to break down an important subject that’s only a bit late… Christmas! What’s it like to celebrate it in China? What are the traditions we have created? Does Santa Claus exist? Not only that, but we break down all the bad Netflix Christmas movies for you. Are any of them classics you must watch every year? (Spoiler, no.) Next, we check in on, as is our tradition, our New Year’s resolutions and get really depressed about making goals and failing… Anyways! We end off with our favorite resolution of every year, Picks of the Week! Jingle on Bings, jingle on. End Notes: "The Grim Dystopia of A Christmas Prince" (Jenny Nicholson is better at making jokes than us…) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsHT1fYouYU Esquire’s Ranking of all Netflix Original Christmas movies, we somewhat agreed with these… (Christmas Chronicles is bad, but it’s not the third worst!) - https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/movies/g25383267/all-netflix-original-christmas-movies-ranked/ Illumination Entertainment is mediocre. It sands off it’s edges to be as inoffensive as possible. (Grinch 2018) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjInxtfVJNI Into the Spiderverse is great guys, the hype is real. - https://film.avclub.com/superhero-dimensions-collide-in-a-funny-gorgeously-psy-1830700647 God of War is GOTY good? - https://www.polygon.com/best-games-2018/2018/12/21/18149534/god-of-war-game-of-the-year-2018 Maybe Mel won’t have to wait that long to see new Reba after all… - http://theboot.com/reba-mcentire-new-tv-show-2018/

The Snob Hour! For snobby people who think commoners are gross and icky, but won’t say it out loud because they’re too polite! Just what you’ve all been waiting for! This time, listen to a solo Jacob episode all about his favorite Shakespeare play, “Hamlet.” How was Benedict Cumberbatch? Why were there so many Chinese people in the audience? Was it any good? All these questions and more are within! End Notes: Full Cumberbatch interview (To be fair, I didn’t watch this entire one, so maybe he says more interesting things in it…) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0ky_tQxwgo

The Snob Hour! For snobby people who think commoners are gross and icky, but won’t say it out loud because they’re too polite! Just what you’ve all been waiting for! This time, listen to a solo Jacob episode where he extols his thoughts on the book adapted into a play, “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime.” Topics like the autism spectrum, dance choreography, acting chops, multimedia presentations, and more! End Notes: Working on the Spectrum (Nice behind the scenes dealio) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2bV75ITXJw

Beasts? Where can you find them, you might ask? Why, here of course! Upon this fortnight, two brave companions did stride into the cinematic complex, to witness the latest theatrical release of Harry Potter’s Wizarding World. “Fantastic Beats and Where to Find Them: The Crimes of Grindewald”. Also, we find out who the real Fan of Bingbing is. Cause guess what, it ain’t the Chinese government! (If you don’t understand, don’t worry, because we don’t either). With a bonus appearance of Ai Weiwei. Last but not least, we look at stuff we like in Picks of the Week, featuring Jacob being snobby, and Aulden picking Christmas movies. End Notes: The Wizards - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFEofWMW0KM Fan Bingbing - https://www.theverge.com/2018/10/23/17991988/fan-bingbing-disappearance-reappearance-china-tax-evasion-social-media Ai Weiwei - http://www.aiweiwei.com/ The Holiday Calender - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=km7gv28_uX0 National Theatre Live - http://ntlive.nationaltheatre.org.uk/

Now THIS is how you make a musical! Eat your heart out Andrew Lloyd Webber! Keywords: Improv, bad, pizza, musical, Les Miserables, singing by amateurs, we will be kicked out of our apartment soon. (I know Andrew Lloyd Webber didn’t write anything for Les Mis, he’s just an easy figure that represents Broadway, don’t @ me!) End Notes: Buy tix! (Stage Les Mis is fine I guess) - https://www.lesmis.com/ Don’t by tix! (How did Tom Hooper make so many bad choices?) - https://www.amazon.com/Miserables-Hugh-Jackman/dp/B00BI5IXL4

What is up Bingers? We're back for Season/Year 3 of "Two White Guys in China!" The Podcast! We missed you