Style With Intention Podcast

The Sober Witch talks about the power of being vulnerable and all of the wonderful things that have fallen into place since she decided to share her real self.

You can create a life out of your passions! Listen to how my guest has built as business around doing what she loves.

Dr. Dawn Davis, author of "Mom As You Are," rants about the "bust through" approach to yoga and shares her thoughts on self-care and the method she created called M-I-N-D-F-U-L.

The Sober Witch, Rene Carlson, shares her journey from drinking into sobriety and the joy she has found building a business around her spirituality.

Dr. Dawn Davis shares tips for owning and weathering the changes that come with parenting teenagers and encourages us to relate to ourselves with non-judgemental, inquisitiveness.

Relationship and Love Consultant, Dr. Sharon Cohen, shares lessons and insights into the hidden roadblocks that keep smart and successful women from experiencing the love and intimacy they want.

The clothes we wear are a tool we can use to create our experiences and to feel the way we want to feel. Fashion Stylist, Elysha Lenkin, teaches us how to create our own “holistic style” so we can look amazing and be true to ourselves.

Our choices and actions and the results we see in our lives come from the way we see ourselves. Learn how to intentionally choose the qualities you want to identify with to get more of what you want.

The author of "Mom As You Are” shares 3 actionable strategies to help us overcome worried thinking and get back in touch with our body's wisdom, develop self-compassion, and trust the process.

Drinking alcohol and the opportunities that giving it all up has opened up.

Internet browsing is actually one form of distraction that is chock full of info and today I share how to make it work for you and a strategy for managing all the info you’re consuming. You can turn your social media time - or that previously mindless, wasted distracted time - into a productive mission and become an active creator in your own life.

When your personal space feels right, it can make your whole life easier - but what feels "right" is sometimes hard to define. Our guest today, Kerri Gray Miller, shares about the effect of "chi" in our spaces and finding the balance that feels "right."

Every choice you make about how you show up in the world is an expression of your personal style, including the spaces that you surround yourself with. I'm sharing how to use your personal style as a powerful tool and how you can use it to manage your subconscious and shape the experiences that you have.

This is a really practical episode about the mistakes that people make when they take on a project, how to avoid them as well as what you need to do to fix them.

Some big unexpected changes happened in my life recently. I'm sharing the very personal lessons I've learned and what I'm doing going forward.

What your home is saying to you? The subconscious messages your home is sending you can affect your quality of life. Let's make sure your home is sending you positive messages!

Figuring out your next chapter can feel confusing and overwhelming, so I'm sharing the tactics I've used to gain clarity about what I want to do next in my life. Many of us are looking at an empty nest and a whole second-half to figure out. You can make the rest of your life, the best of your life!

“Like She Owns The Place” - a conversation with Master Life Coach and author, Cara Alwill Letba, about her new book and how you can live with more confidence. ©2018 Annie Kip. All Rights Reserved.

A step-by-step method for choosing the way you want to feel and accessing genuinely happier feelings. You can reprogram your subconscious in as little as 17 seconds. The biggest takeaways from this episode: Why you can't "just relax" or "calm down." A step-by-step method to experience the feelings you want to have. The control you do have over your subconscious feelings. A faster and easier to go from a low vibration to a high vibration.   Hey there, Thanks for being here today! Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast. Today's episode is all about wrangling your subconscious to give you the conscious experiences you want to have. Feelings of contentment, eagerness, optimism, and joy. Listen in today as I share everything I've learned about the way our subconscious deals with emotions and how you can take control and access the better emotions you want to feel. When we understand how something works - it's easier to manage. This is the science behind our feelings!  Our bonus content this week gives you the specific steps you can take to get into a better feeling state, so be sure to download the one-page worksheet which will teach you "How To Choose The Way You Want to Feel" by clicking HERE. As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good! Enjoy the show!     If you’re new to podcasts, check out our “Listening To Podcasts Cheat Sheet” for everything you need to know about downloading and listening to podcasts from your iPhone.   CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE   If you’d rather read, than listen, here’s the FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #22 HOW TO REPROGRAM YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS SO YOU CAN FEEL GENUINELY HAPPIER Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast, where we talk about how to use your personal style choices as a tool to create a life you love. We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really good! I’m your host, Annie Kip, and  today I’m going to share with you a trick I discovered. It’s literally something you can do every single time you are starting to notice feelings that you don’t want to have. This it s way to literally re-program your subconscious - and it’s more than just “think your happy thoughts” and believe that everything will all be okay. That doesn’t work for me. And if you’ve been trying to just be positive, you have probably found that it doesn’t work for you either. I know how ridiculous it is to say that to someone who’s feeling down. Just saying the words doesn’t work - but I’ve found that this technique really works for me when I’m feeling down. We’ve talked on this podcast about energetic vibration - and how that is tied to what you experience in your conscious reality. When you’re in a low mood, you can get sort of stuck in that low energetic vibrational place. I know what it’s like to be in a low mood. When things are challenging with my kids, particularly, I found myself getting down and a little blue. I knew I should just get out and go for a walk to try to shake off the mood, but honestly, I didn’t feel like it. I was just sort of stuck in my blue mood and needed a way to get myself out of it that didn’t take a lot of effort. I also noticed that there were times in my life when I could feel the higher energetic vibration. Sometimes, it had to do with what was going on - like after a really great meeting with a client or spending a great weekend with the beau. But there were times when a good feeling would seem to materialize out of nowhere and I wanted more of that. I’d find myself smiling at a thought or sort of car-dancing when as Earth, Wind, and Fire song came on the radio. Yes, I’m a girl who still loves all of the 80’s R and B and disco - from Al Jerreau to Rick James to The Commodores. Yes, I love them all. And you can’t stop me from dancing if they’re playing - but we can’t always be blasting Boogie Wonderland, now can we? I was interested in figuring out how to get more of that good feeling more of the time. If it came out of nowhere and felt so real that I could feel it in my body, I thought we must be able to summon it or conjure it up somehow. It was in listening to a recording of Abraham-Hicks in which they were simply asking a person whether they would rather feel “happy” or “sad,” Discouraged” or “encouraged,” bored” or “passionate” - and it gave me the idea to make this into a meditative process for myself. Abraham-Hicks says that it takes a minimum of 17 seconds of pure thought to activate the vibrational energy - and if you can string together several sessions of 17 seconds of pure, focused feeling and thought - you can actually make the vibration strong enough to start manifestation of those feelings and thoughts. If you can increase the time up to 68 seconds, you’re really getting into a powerful place of managing your thoughts and energetic vibration. Being down is a very low vibrational frequency - and it helps to have this process to follow without having to think. It’s a way of just “being” in the feeling you would rather be having. You know I’m not a doctor and I’m just sharing what I’m learning along the way - but if you’re feeling a little blue or stressed out or discouraged -- or if you just want to know what it feels like to actually raise your vibration - I invite you to give this a try. I am excited to share this with you because it’s something anyone can do, anytime, anywhere. And you don’t have to like 80’s R&B and you don’t have to dance. In fact, I start this exercise right where you are. In your own funky town - the blue place full of feelings you don’t really want to be having. Here’s how it works: Instead, of jumping right to the happy feeling you want, my suggestion is the create the real good feelings you want to have in baby steps. This is based on my understanding that you have to feel a feeling, really feel it in your body, for your brain to accept it. Simply saying happy things to yourself doesn’t work - as anyone who’s been told to “just relax” or “calm down” or “get happy” can tell you. That doesn’t work. To me, it feels like the feeling it just outside of my reach. When I say things like that to myself, it just doesn’t stick. (and yes, I do believe that choosing to intentionally smile instead of frown, can help your body produce the chemicals that lead to a happier feeling - but this is an even fast route to genuine good feelings.) At the end of this episode, I’m going to do this with you - right on this recording, so you can queue it up anytime you need a little boost. We’re going to do it together and I’m going to guide you so you can learn to do it for yourself. I’ve also made a one-page worksheet called "How To Choose The Way You Want To Feel" for this episode's Bonus Content to get you started on your own. You can use the words on this one-page sheet to get all the benefit I am going to describe to you now. Or you can take my example and create something that is unique for you. Usually, I do this first thing in the morning but I also do it whenever I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed. For instance, if I feel like my work is sort of a struggle. Or I’m feeling distracted or getting down about something. It only takes a few minutes and you can do it whenever and as many times it it makes sense for you. I use the Timer function on my iPhone and a list of words - first a word that identifies the feeling I don’t want, and then a word that is the opposite of that word. I think this will make more sense as I show you how it works. First I set my timer to 17 seconds - but I don’t start it yet. I start by just sitting still, closing my eyes, and letting myself feel the bad feeling just for a few seconds - for example struggle. I don’t fight it, I just sort of get into it for a few seconds, instead of resisting it - just for a few seconds. In the example of “struggle” - first, I might imagine how it feels when I’m working on a podcast and can’t get the right words to say what I want to say. I’m at my desk and staring out the window and panicking a little that I’m wasting time and I’ve got other things to do and my shoulders are hunching up and I’m getting tighter and tighter. I sit in “struggle” just until I can really feel it - and then I imagine the opposite. The opposite of struggle would feel like ease to me. At this point, I press the Start button and imagine the same scenario if ease were there instead of struggle. I close my eyes and for a full 17 seconds, I really try to get into the  opposite feeling. I let this word and the feelings associated with it just wash over me, like a warm shower. In my mind, I imagine specific examples of how it would feel - how it would show up in my life, what my body would feel like if I had the opposite feeling. When there’s ease, I can’t type fast enough because the words just flow out of me. I get into this feeling and try to really feel my fingers flying across my keyboard, typing, typing typing. And I try to feel how satisfying it feels when my words come out so easily and just make sense. I’m excited about the things I want to say and new insights I come to as I write and I think and before I know it - I’ve got a podcast written and ready to go. Then I imagine myself sitting down to record it and I feel how the words just flow so naturally out of my mouth. It feels so good to get it done so easily. By now the 17-seconds have gone by and the alarm has chimed. Optimally, you move right on to the next unwanted emotion word and it’s opposite word. The more times you spend 17 seconds imagining and really getting into the positive emotion, the better and better you will feel. If you can increase the time you focus on the positive emotion from 17 to 34 and then to 51 all the way to 68 that’s awesome - the more solidly you will be reprogramming your subconscious to feel the way you want to feel and activating that vibrational energy in your life. You are giving your brain the actual body-experience of those emotions you want to be having. You are reprogramming your brain’s neural pathways to be more comfortable and familiar with the positive emotions than the negative emotions. I’ve been doing this as a meditation in the morning and I can tell you it is making a huge difference for me all day. I feel much more settled and more aligned with the lighter, happier, easier feelings I want to have inside. I’m more aware when I’m not in a mindset that is helpful to me too - now that I know I can just go through this exercise to get access to the feelings I would rather have. If you’d like to try this, stop what you’re doing for a second. Pause this recording and get yourself to a place where you can take a few minutes to sit quietly by yourself. I’m going to guide you through this with my own timer - all you have to do is imagine the words I’m telling you and try to feel the feelings in your body as I talk. Really dig in to the sensations as much as you can. Give yourself over to this for a few minutes and I guarantee you will feel better after. Okay - are you ready? For a few seconds, I want you to get into the feeling of “worried” Now put aside worried and get into the feeling of “confident” for 17 seconds. Hopeful or sure Anxious or optimistic Anxious or excited Embarrassed or proud Now...open your eyes and sort of let it sink in. How do you feel? I know when I do this exercise and really feeling the feelings, I feel lighter and freer when I’m done. And everything seems a little easier. I find that I get more done and generally feel better - sort of easy and on top of things - all day. In the Bonus Content, I’m sharing this list of words  so you can try this immediately. It’s just a way to focus your feelings. And even though it’s sort of nice to just have a pre-made list and jump in, but I encourage you to make your own list. There might be particular bad feelings that seem to plague you all the time and you might have different words to describe the your feelings. Your list doesn’t have to be in any special order - it just has to be words that help you really conjure up the feelings so you can feel them in your body. I hope you got a really good feeling from this little exercise! Come on over to the Style With Intention Podcast website and send me a note or follow me on Instagram @AnnieKipStyle - I’d love to know how this worked for you! I’m always looking for ways to get into that good feeling state that I want to live more of my time in and share them with you - because I know that’s where all the good stuff in life happens for all of us! Until next week, keep setting up your life so that it naturally helps you feel more the way you want to feel everyday, because happy looks really, really good! Bye, bye for now!   Click here to get the FREE one-page worksheet: "How To Choose The Way You Want To Feel" LINKS: For more info on Abraham Hicks - http://www.abraham-hicks.com/lawofattractionsource/index.php   All about changing your brain - https://www.fastcompany.com/3045424/what-it-takes-to-change-your-brains-patterns-after-age-25   Header image by: Erol Ahmed                       Download the BONUS CONTENT here: "How To Choose The Way You Want To Feel"

Our lives are filled with the stories we tell ourselves to make sense of our lives - but our stories might actually be creating our experiences. You can shape your experiences by managing the stories you tell yourself. The biggest takeaways from this episode: Why we tell ourselves stories. How to know if you're telling yourself a story. The 2 ways that our stories can undermine us. How to use stories for your benefit.   Hey there, Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast. I'm so glad you're here! Today's episode was inspired by a real-life experience I had with a friend last week. Sometimes, it takes another person's perspective to show you something about yourself - which is what this episode is all about...seeing ourselves more clearly. Listen in today to learn about the stories we tell ourselves. Everyone does this! It's how we make sense of the world - but is can become a problem if we never stop and challenge our assumptions. As always, my goal is to use what I'm learning to help you. I wrap up this episode with some thoughts on making your stories work better for you - to help you feel happier...because happy looks really, really good! Enjoy the show!         CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE   If you’d rather read, than listen, here’s the FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #21 STORIES THAT MIGHT BE HOLDING YOU BACK Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast, where we talk about how to use your personal style choices as a tool to create a life you love. We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really good! I’m your host, Annie Kip, and  today we’re talking about stories. Not the stories you find in books and magazines or on Netflix. I do love a good story but today, we’re actually talking about the stories that we tell ourselves. These are the stories we make up - to help us make sense of our lives. You know you’re telling yourself a story when you’ve interpreted something that happened (like when you decide what someone else’s motives were) and when you’ve given something meaning, or sort of mentally declared an absolute (like “I always get sick” or “people are selfish”). I do this, you do this, we all do this. Our stories are a way for us to make sense of what goes on in our daily lives and to explain why things are the way they are. We all feel better when we understand why things happen and it makes us feel more in control when we can put our experiences into a category or give ourselves a reason for why things happen. But I believe that this is a chicken and egg sort of problem - that the stories we tell ourselves can actually be creating our conscious experiences. This was really made clear to me the other day, when I was on a walk with a friend. We had the same experience, but we came away with totally different stories about what happened. On our walk, we came upon a little boy who had set up a table in his front yard and was selling some little pieces of art that he’d made. They were these things called “God’s eyes” and I remember making them in elementary school - you wrap yarn in and around two Popsicle sticks in a cross and it makes a pretty pattern. This boy was selling them for 50 cents each and he had few set out on his table. Normally, my policy is to buy from kids who are industrious enough to set up a stand in their front yard - I want to support them so whether it’s lemonade or pet rocks or artwork or whatever - I will always buy one thing from them - but I didn’t have any money with me. My friend only had a $20 in her pocket, but she decided to give him the money in exchange for everything he had out on the table. The boy took the money, closed up his shop, and went inside. As we were walking away, she wondered aloud whether the little boy realized that she had just given him such a gift - $20 for a few God’s eyes! His reaction wasn’t over the top, the way she sort of expected it to be. She said she was hoping to make this little boy feel like he was a really great artist and she hoped that making that much money would encourage him to keep making art. She thought his parents, when they realized he had a $20 bill, would probably be really grateful that a total stranger had come by and given their son so much money for his art. Her “story” was totally different from mine. I was thinking that the little boy didn’t react because he was feeling like he was getting away with murder - he got $20 for some little God’s eyes that he didn’t even put much effort into. I was thinking about how it sort of skews kid’s expectations   - when people overpay kids - sort of like when everyone gets a trophy, just for showing up. I was also thinking that the mom was probably annoyed that she had thought their son was all set with an activity that would occupy him for a few hours, outside on a sunny day, but now that he sold all his goods, he was probably back inside playing video games or bored and looking for something to do. It was so funny to us to realize that we saw it so differently. We each interpreted the events based on our own experiences and hopes and worries. We came away with totally different “stories” that seemed completely true and real to each of us. It’s so interesting, but it also show how our stories can be limiting and that they can get in our way. There are 2 ways that our stories can undermine us: #1 We don’t even realize that we are telling ourselves a story.     We are completely unaware - that the way we interpret the world is really just our unique perspective. My friend is an artist and she wants kids to be more creative and feel good about making art. She also wanted to give the kid a memorable experience, thinking how she would feel if she were that little kid. She thought the parents would see her generosity - the same way she saw the situation. My belief is that we should encourage and support kids who set up stands and sell things - but that we shouldn’t give extravagant rewards and skew their expectations. I think that kids will benefit more from the experience of working for what they get and that giving them too much money too easily, sets them up for disappointment and frustration later, when they see that the real world doesn’t work this way. My friend and I were amazed at how different our stories were around this one same experience. We assumed that we saw it the same way, until we started talking about it. Most of the time, it doesn’t even occur to us to second-guess our stories - we assume that there is no other way to see the situation, than the way we see it. Not stopping to notice whether we are telling ourselves a story can really undermine our ability to work together with other people and develop relationships. Seeing another person’s point of view is essential to understanding each other, to finding new ways to solve problems, negotiating win-win solutions, and just having compassion for each others experience of the world. We don’t have to all see things the same way, but the more we can be aware that we tell ourselves stories and allow for other people’s different interpretations of same events, the more we can understand each other. The second way that “stories” can undermine us, is: #2 We believe our stories are absolutely true. Not only do we not realize we are telling ourselves stories and creating meaning and context around an experience, but we just believe it’s the truth. We feel this way, so we believe it is so. As we’ve discussed on this podcast many times - Feelings are powerful, but they are not fact. For example, you can feel and therefore believe you are totally safe when you are actually in grave danger - and the opposite is true as well.  Just because we feel something, does not make it true. We feel so many things all day long and those feelings become thoughts - and if we don’t check in and challenge our assumptions, they become the stories we tell ourselves. Our daily lives are filled with the stories we tell ourselves and those stories are creating our experiences. For example, I have a really grumpy neighbor. We’ll call him Mr. Grumpypants. He is super obsessed with the property line between our houses. He’s gotten it into his head that the neighbors who abutt his land are trying to infringe on his property. Now, our neighborhood is sort of open - the yards sort of flow into each other and we have a lot of those little rock walls that you see all over New England, showing approximately where the property lines are, but not a lot of fences. People are generally relaxed about the “line” and seem able to work it out if it seems like someone has made a mistake. Mr. Grumpypants has told himself a story that is creating his experience. He believes that he has to be on guard and is constantly looking for evidence that people are moving into his space. This frames how he spends his time - measuring and carefully staking the line and putting up strings to show where the line is. Going out in his yard, anytime I’m outside to check on what I’m doing. We have a really friendly neighborhood and we look out for each other - bringing food when people are sick, picking up packages and shoveling each other’s driveway when it snows if people are away. But Mr. Grumpypants is not friendly and the story he has told himself is making him more and more paranoid and isolated. I’ve actually put up a hedge to give myself some privacy and to minimize my exposure to his negativity. The hedge has now grow tall and is blocking the sun in his backyard, so the story he has told himself has created a real life situation where he has more and more reasons to be grumpy. Mr. Grumpypants believes his story that people are out to get him and so he looks for proof that this is true. He misinterprets and makes assumptions about other people’s motivations, and his conscious experience is filled with evidence that his story is true. So, if stories are this powerful, why not use them to make your life better? You know, none of the stories we tell ourselves are necessarily true. They aren’t fact or even rational all the time. We make them up based on our own experiences, our fears, our worries - yet we walk around every single say, believing our stories and acting upon them. So, why not choose a story that helps you be happier? Instead of believing that the person who cut you off in traffic did it on purpose, you could just as easily believe that they didn’t realize that they did it. Instead of telling yourself the story that you’re bad at public speaking and that you’re going to be nervous, you could just as easily believe that your presentation is going to go well. I wonder how that might positively affect your experience. Maybe you would still be nervous while you’re speaking, but you wouldn’t waste time focusing and worrying about it beforehand. And maybe you would actually be less nervous. Instead of telling yourself the story that your day is going to be crappy, you could just as easily believe that something wonderful is going to happen to you today. A positive expectation has so much more potential for creating a happy experience than a negative expectation. I think we tend toward the negative stories because we don’t want to be disappointed. Or wrong. But you’ll have a much better chance of having a good experience if you choose to believe the stories that make you feel happier. We can tell ourselves stories which will actually benefit us - giving us less stress, more positivity, and a sense of eager hopefulness. Tell yourself the story that other people mean well. Tell yourself the story that you are special and capable of big things. Tell yourself the story that everything that happens is working together for your good. Developing this outlook can only help you. The negative stories are definitely not helping. Throw yourself into this practice and I bet you’ll start to see evidence that your positive stories are true. Tomorrow morning, tell yourself a story that it’s going to be a really good day. Diligently look for proof that it’s true - and find evidence that what you really want to be true is true...that people are kind, that you are unique and special, that the world is a good place and wonderful things are waiting right around the corner for you… Put your focus on this story and I’m pretty sure you’ll be able to find evidence to support it, just as easily as you can find evidence to support any other less helpful story you tell yourself. Come drop me a note on the podcast website - www.StyleWithIntentionPodcast.com - and let me know how you’re changing the stories you tell yourself. Until next week, keep on making your life more the way you want it to be. Bye, bye for now! _____ Be sure to download the Bonus Content for this episode! Header image by: Dmitry Ratushny   Notes: How To Make A God's Eye   

We're going to look at our lives from the perspective of our past - 20-30 years from now - and think about whether we are happy with how we lived. The biggest takeaways from this episode: Why it's never too late to make start making your past something to smile about. How trying to keep things the same can get in your way. Why age is a privilege. Questions to ask yourself about how you want to live.   Hey there, Thanks for being here today! Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast. In today's episode, we're going to look at our lives from the perspective of our past - 20-30 years from now - and think about whether we are happy with how we lived. Ever since I decided to get divorced (way back in 2003), I've been thinking about my life this way. I decided that I would like to look back, as an 80-year-old, and say to myself "well, THAT was an interesting ride!" rather than looking back and saying to myself, "wow, you were a really good compromiser!" Listen in today for the questions you can ask yourself to more quickly get into this frame of mind and think about whether you're living the way you want to live - and whether your life will be something that yoou look back on and smile about. As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good! Enjoy the show!         CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE   If you’d rather read, than listen, here’s the FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #20 PLAN TO MAKE YOUR PAST SOMETHING TO SMILE ABOUT Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast, where we talk about how to use your personal style choices as a tool to create a life you love. We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really good! I’m your host, Annie Kip, and I’m so glad you’re here today! Today, we are stepping into the perspective of your future self and we’re looking at our past and deciding if we lived the way we wanted to live.   Time goes by so quickly - often we don’t want to look at the reality of that or our past - and that our days are whizzing by and they’re adding up into years. We don’t see ourselves as middle-aged - it just doesn’t feel like that! In fact, I hesitate to use that word when I’m titling an episode. Nobody wants to hear “middle-aged.”   Even me - I used to feel sorry for people whose kids had gone off to college. You know, I wondered - what they do all day? It just seemed sort of sad without the purpose of young kids and getting them off to school. Do they have anything to do? Are they drifting? I saw their wrinkly knees and their gray hair and I wondered - are they depressed? How could they let themselves go like that?   And now I know that age is just a number - right?   Well, the numbers don’t lie - 50 is half-way to 100. I resisted this fact for awhile. I put a lot of time and effort into holding onto the appearance of youth - and I was losing the battle!   You know one day I was commiserating with a friend about color oing our hair. There were reasons we felt we had to keep doing it: So other people wouldn’t think we looked old. So random men would think we were pretty - which we realized was really ridiculous, because we really only cared what our partners. Then we also thought we do it because we don’t want our kids to be embarrassed of us. It was ridiculous. It wasn’t who we wanted to be. It certainly wasn’t who I wanted to be. And literally after that conversation, I stopped coloring my hair. I considered it my 50th birthday present to myself.   We all do things that make us feel the way we used to feel.   Everyone has their own strategy - it could be hair coloring, it could be exercising, it could be flirtations, fast cars, designer clothes, competition, or distracting yourself. There are lots of perfectly acceptable ways to cope and it’s all good until it doesn’t feel right anymore. At this point, we have a sense that we might be losing our chances to make our lives good. Sometimes, there’s a sense of urgency to that - and we feel like we need to make decisions and make changes, so we don’t lose our opportunity to finally make our lives the way we want them to be. People do all kinds of crazy (and not so crazy things) at midlife - like quitting their jobs, moving the the country, leaving their relationships, and buying stuff that makes them feel good. They hold on really tightly sometimes, not wanting things to change. They resist what “those young people are into” and they don’t want to get involved with the “new technology.” They stick to routines more than ever and they’re angry sometimes that the world is changing around them.   They’re hoping they can maintain the status quo, which can end up feeling sort of restrictive and controlling to the people around them. And sometimes, that brings about changes in their relationships, and their jobs, and their friends that they are trying so hard to avoid.   This is a time for clarification for all of us. We all have to look at ourselves and decide if this is how we want our lives to be. No one want to look back with regrets.   We’re standing in this unique place where we can look back at the past and see how we didn’t actually appreciate how young we were 10 years ago, and we can look forward and see that someday, we might wish for the way we feel right now, in spite of the wrinkles and the gray hair and the aches and pains.   I’d like to suggest that age is a privilege.   It gives us the unique ability and perspective to choose our battles. To figure out what really matters. We don’t have to resign ourselves to becoming irrelevant and invisible, just because we’re at middle age. Time is going by, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. We’ve lived long enough to see that, no matter how hard things might seem - even when the stock market crashes - we will get through them. All good things do show up, out of nowhere sometimes, when we least expect it.   It’s taken this many years to become who we are. We should be proud of that.   Now is the time to really zero in on what we like about ourselves and what we want. Refining our vision, we can finally be who we want to be. We can own it!   When our kids were little, we had to put our needs aside. We couldn’t even lift our heads up to look around and think about our lives. The days were so long, I remember, but looking back, the years were short. It’s okay now to think about what we want. We’ve paid our dues in a way.   Yeah, my kids still need me. I think they’ll always need us and we’ll always want to be there for them, but the endless little league games are no more. And those school concerts, which were so tortuous, and driving to activities is behind us. We can start to kind of pick our heads up and look around and take stock.   What’s going to be next for us? Who do we want to be in our kids lives? What’s the trajectory we’re on, because we will probably become more of the way we already are, unless we choose to do something different.     The next half of our lives could be the best half. What if we genuinely believed that? How would that change how you live everyday? What do you think that would do for your mind and opening it up to new possibilties and new opportunities and solutions you’d never considered before? What would that do for the moments? How would you live them differently? Would you appreciate them more? Would you walk away from fights? Would you love more?   This podcast is about creating a life that’s based on feeling great - and all the benefits that naturally come from that - confidence, style, deep connections, self-awareness, manifesting, and feeling happy every day. It’s about living the truth - choosing what you do and think intentionally and owning your own brilliance.   I have plenty of insights and tips and real life stories and interviews coming up, but this is an evolving project and I always want to hear from you - what you do and don’t like, and what serves you best.   I’m sort of on a mission to make middle-age our new prime. If you’re not happy with your life, this is the time to make it better. Figure out what your vision for yourself is and figure out how you’re going to make it real. Start with how you want to feel - start with yourself. This is the sweet spot. Become the person who lives that life you see for yourself and the possibilities will open up. It’s never too late.   The truest “you” you can be, is the best gift you can give your family and friends.   On the podcast, we’ll keep strategizing about what would move the needle toward happier. We’ll tease out what’s weighing you down, we’ll figure out how to get the gumption to do what the thing we think we cannot do. Together, we’ll look at what requires us to dig deep, when it’s worth it, and what you need to let go of sometimes.   We’ll figure out where you can shine and what you can do to shine more.   What would it be like to stop pushing so hard? And let your enthusiasm just sweep you along. The things you’ve been putting off may be the most rewarding. The solutions may surprise you with their elegant simplicity.   Whatever it is you do, do it for yourself at this point in your life.  In the end, there is only you. You’re solely accountable for your one small life.   Any age can be your prime. Let’s walk away from all the years of striving, and start to enjoy and embrace who we’ve become - and get excited about where we’re headed next. It’s about time.   When your past is all you have left, will you smile at yourself? Let’s make sure you do! _____ Be sure to download the Bonus Content for this episode!

Struggle and effort are not helping you get what you want. The faster, easier way to have what you really want is to get crystal clear about how it would feel to already have whatever it is that you want - and literally step into that feeling to bring the actual experience into your life. The biggest takeaways from this episode: How struggle and effort don't really help - and actually gets in your way. Why feelings matter more than actions. The difference between "being" and "doing." A faster and easier way to get what you really want than struggle.   Hey there, Thanks for being here today! Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast. Today's episode is all about giving up the struggle. Stopping the go, go, go of "doing" things to get where we want to go and have what we want to have. There's a faster, easier way - and that is "being." I share what this looks like in my own life and give specific examples that I'm sure you'll relate to. My personal experience with giving up struggle and getting into a really positive "being" state has been remarkable. It's just a whole lot easier. I find that I get more done, without noticing the time go by - and, I'm now noticing that, when I'm not in this state, everything feels like a slooooow slog. Listen in today for three questions you can ask yourself to more quickly get into the genuine feeling of already having what you want - so you can be in alignment with the experience of it and have this experience in your life. Our bonus content this week expands on those questions, so be sure to download it by clicking HERE. As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good! Enjoy the show!       If you’re new to podcasts, check out our “Listening To Podcasts Cheat Sheet” for everything you need to know about downloading and listening to podcasts from your iPhone.   CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE   If you’d rather read, than listen, here’s the FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #19 HOW TO GIVE UP THE STRUGGLE AND JUST BE Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast, where we talk about how to use your personal style choices as a tool to create a life you love. We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really good!   I’m your host, Annie Kip, and I’m so glad you’re here today!   Today, we’re talking about how to stop the struggle - the feeling that you have to try really hard, and concentrate, and focus, and put all kinds of effort into getting what you want.   It could be struggle in your business - to get clients, or maybe you want to get a promotion or strike out on your own. Or maybe you just figure out your calling - you know what you’re good at.   It could be your relationship - you want it to be better, you want to talk it out, hash out the issues and be clear and understood once and for all. This is totally me - I used to think that if I could just get the beau to understand what I’m saying and what I mean and what I need - everything would be okay.   The conventional wisdom is that we have to work really hard to get what we want. We have to wait. We have to sacrifice. I’ve felt that way myself - and it doesn’t feel good. And the more I’m in that state of mind, the more it weighs on me and gets heavier and heavier. I hate feeling that way, so I came up with a plan and it involves 3 questions that I ask myself. I’m sharing those 3 questions today because these 3 questions will literally take you out of that heavy, sluggish, effortful feeling that you have when you’re struggling and plop you right into a state which is light and hopeful and exciting - and it’s much more likely to give you what you want.   It starts with this premise. That there’s a big difference between “being” in alignment with what we want and all the “doing” that we find ourselves caught up in everyday.   This is really important to understand. We are so busy and bombarded with info and to-do’s and we even tend to distract ourselves with wine or food or social media and we think that we’re getting somewhere when we’re really working hard and pressing through the difficulties and fighting against everything that we don’t like in the world - but really we’re just struggling.   And I don’t think the struggle is helping anyone.   Especially if you are going through a transition or wanting to make a change in your life - or if you’re coming through a crisis and re-orienting yourself and figuring out what your future looks like - I would warn against resigning yourself to feeling bad.   Whenever there’s a vacant spot in our lives - the tendency is to fill it up, often with struggle or effort or longing for something different. You know - like when you’re kids are going off to college - it’s a really busy and exciting time, maybe a little sad for you or maybe somewhat of a relief - but then, they’re gone and there’s kind of a vacant spot. We often fill it with lots of activity and “doing”.   The grit required for a graceful life - isn’t always hard work, sacrifice, and struggle. The work of it - is sometimes the strength it takes to let go of the struggle. To find the easier, more peaceful way.   Instead of going hard at it, what would it be like to step back, sit in the emptiness, even if it’s uncomfortable - and take a minute and figure out how you want to feel in this new situation   Figuring out what you want - and then getting in the actual feeling state of “being” there already is how regular people like you and me can do manifesting. And manifesting is the opposite of struggle.   Manifesting is just a fancy name for working with your subconscious to create the conscious experiences you want to have in your life. Effortlessly.   Even more simply put - it all starts with and comes back to how you feel.   Which is really exciting to me - because we have control over how we feel. We can do things that will help get into the feeling we want to have.   Working hard at something and doing things that look like what we want, but don’t actually feel the way we want to feel is still just struggle. Just because you’re going to parties every night of the week, doesn’t mean you’re actually happy. Just like doing yoga or exercising obsessively doesn’t necessarily mean you’re at peace with yourself and healthy.   The “doing,” in and of itself, isn’t going to help you. It’s only useful if it helps you actually get into the real, authentic feeling state that you want to be in.   Effortlessly “being” is the key to manifesting. Not the effortful, active, struggle of “doing.”   Today, I’m going to explain what that looks like and I’m giving you 3 really important questions you can ask yourself, which will help you get your subconscious on board with where you want to “be” so you can have what you want without the struggle.   It’s fascinating to me to think that we are always manifesting - because, let’s face it - we are always in a state of “being” - whether we are deliberate about it or not. Your emotional state is somewhere right now. Hopefully, somewhere near happy or content or eager or hopeful or excited - but even if it’s bored, or impatient, or discouraged - you’re in a state of “being” and experiencing a feeling.   Our subconscious thoughts and feelings are the things that create our conscious experience.   Most of the time, it just takes a little mindfulness to identify your feeling state - it starts with noticing when you actually have a feeling that you do or don’t like. So often, we just brush past our reactions and especially any unpleasant feelings - sometimes so fast that we hardly notice them, but we may end up at the end of a day or a hard week feeling exhausted and depleted - without realizing why.   Sometimes, it takes going to therapy - which is a big effort. It is in the “doing” category - but even while you’re doing, you’re also being. You can do hard things, with an open, hopeful, loving heart.   I did many years of therapy when I was deciding whether or not to get divorced and then after I got divorced. I wanted to talk about parenting and make sure that I wasn’t continuing destructive patterns. There were so many unpleasant things to look at - it would have been so much easier to not go each week - but those uncomfortable, unpleasant things would still be in my subconscious if I didn’t dig them up and process them. I see why people avoid therapy, but I am so glad I  looked at those icky feelings. I saw where I was repeating behaviors, unconsciously doing things that were unproductive and sometimes hurtful to other people. It was no picnic let me tell you, but I’m glad I did it.   Looking back, it was like taking a college-level class all about me. It was a compare and contrast study of the way I was currently “being” and what was causing the dissonance or disconnect from who I want to be. The experience changed the way I “am” - the way I think and the way I see things.   To intentionally manifest what you want, your deep down feelings and energy have to be a match to the thing you want - as if it were already in your life. You have to be so crystal clear about how it would feel - how you would “be” if that thing that you want was in your life, that it feels easy and natural.   When you’re aligned with something, you almost take it for granted. Sort of like the sun coming up - you know it’s going to happen in good time and you don’t have to put in any effort at all to make it happen.   These are the 3 questions you can ask yourself to help you get into a state that is aligned with what you want.   As you ask each question, to yourself, take the time to sit with your answer. If you’re a journal person, you can write what comes to your mind. The important thing is to really flesh it out with as many details as you possibly can, until you can actually feel it in your body.   If you find yourself smiling involuntarily, while you’re doing this - you’re really doing it right!   Here are the "3 Questions To Get What You Want Without The Struggle"   Question #1 - Who is an imaginary person who has what I want? Think about what they do first thing in the morning, what they wear, what they eat, how they spend their day, how they spend their evening, what their home looks like.   Question #2 - How would it feel if, for the past year, I already had this in my life? What would the last year look like? How would I look, how would I act, how would I feel?   Question #3 - What can I do, right now, this week to get the feeling of having what I want?   The way we live everyday - everything we know and think and do and all the choices we make in a day all the interactions we have with other people - make us feel a certain way. The little choices along the way add up to how we experience the world.   There’s a lot less effort involved in manifesting than people may realize. It isn’t about just thinking really, really hard about something. That’s in the “doing” category.   In fact, it turns out that the effort of making yourself “think” really, really hard about something may actually be getting in your way.   If you are in a state of longing for something, you won’t get the thing you want - you’ll only get more of what you already feel in your heart - the longing for it.   The deal with manifesting is that you get more of what you are already feeling - not what you fervently want. That is why I suggest using the 3 Questions to help you conjure up the feeling of having what you want - rather than sitting down and creating a strategy and a plan and working hard to make it happen.   For example, we’ve all had a friend desperately wants to meet someone and get married, but they keep connecting with people who cheat, or don’t want to commit, or who aren’t appropriate for one reason or another. Sometimes, they step up their efforts - asking friends to set them up, going out all the time hoping to meet the right person, working at it like it’s their job -  and, yet, they never find a good partner. That is, until they give up the hunt. When they relax and resign themselves to being alone and content and happy within themselves, that is when it often happens.   Sometimes people will deliberately try to be okay not having someone in their life, so they will attract someone. If they’re only taking time alone for the purpose of attracting someone and filling in a void in their life - and are actually miserable by themselves, it just doesn’t work.   It only works when they’re in an authentic, solidly happy emotional state. They aren’t bitter or angry or discouraged. They’re happy with themselves and open to new experiences and new ways of being happy - to the point where they don’t require someone in their life to be happy - and bam! A perfect mate appears!   You can’t cheat your subconscious feelings - they run the show.   This is manifesting in action - Being really, truly happy in a genuine, grounded way - attracts another happy, grounded person.   It isn’t that complicated!   This is where I think your style choices can be a really useful tool to make your life more the way you want it to be. You can make choices that will help you truly feel the way you want to feel.   The goal is to figure out how you want to feel first - and then make choices that help you get there.   I’ve been doing this consciously and unconsciously all my life. You have been too, whether you realize it or not.   For instance, I’ve learned that my emotional state is affected by what I wear. Wearing leggings and a sweatshirt for many days in a row can start to bring me down a little mentally and emotionally. The beau just says I like to be fancy - but wearing nice clothes actually helps me access a part of myself that is more confident and solid.   It might sound superficial, but this isn’t about materialism or designer clothes or acquiring things - it’s much more deep than that.   The difference between doing and being - is that I’m not struggling. I’m not doing it to impress other people and I’m certainly not equating wearing nice clothes with my worth. It’s about how it makes me feel. The “doing” effort of getting out of my sweats helps me “be” in an emotional state that feels better - more like myself.   The same is true of the way I’ve decorated my home - it isn’t huge and it isn’t expensive - but it is filled with things that make me happy. I have white slipcovered sofas - even though I have a big brown dog, named Luna - because I like how they go with everything in case I want to change things up and I really like knowing I can wash and bleach the heck out of the slipcovers if they get dirty - it puts my mind at ease. It feels good to me.   It’s different for everyone - you might need to go for a run to feel your best, or have a bouquet of flowers on your desk or a yummy lunch to look forward to - it’s just important to know your own quirks and to notice how you’re affected by different choices - how they make you feel - and accept them so you can work with them.   Listening to your Whispers really helps with this. I went into this more in episode #2 - for those of you unfamiliar with what I call Whispers - they are the little flashes of insight that you get from your heart. They can be really subtle, but if you practice listening to them, they will help you figure out what makes you truly happy.   The Whispers help you notice both what feels good and what brings you down.   Maybe drinking a green smoothie makes you feel really good about yourself. Maybe being in a neat and tidy space feels extra good to you. Or maybe listening to music brings you up. When you know what works for you, you can intentionally access the feelings you want to have.   And this podcast is good example of getting into alignment - I consciously took steps that felt aligned with being a podcaster - not just wishing and hoping to be a podcaster someday. Just like anyone else who doesn’t know what they’re doing on a new project - I started in some really low level emotions - like insecurity and self-doubt - but I’ve done things that help me “be” where I want to be - I bought a good microphone, I chose music that felt like “me,” I’ve dedicated time to creating a professional podcast that I am proud to tell people about.   I took action before I was totally comfortable, yes, but every step was something that helped me to “be” in the feeling of already having what I wanted.   So my challenge to you is this: what is it that you want for yourself?   How would you behave and what would you be doing if this were already a conscious reality in your life.   Do you want a job you love? What would that look like? How could you “be” in that state already?   Well, you could put on clothes that you might wear to an office and setup coffee dates with people who have jobs that sound interesting to you. You could spend time each day, networking and gathering resources and applying for jobs, as if this were your full-time job already. You could get yourself into the mindset of enjoying the journey - of the adventure and excitement of figuring out what you want to do.   Can you see the difference between that approach and the mindset of being bummed that you don’t have a job, complaining to friends that there’s nothing available, not bothering to get dressed or leave the house because you don’t have a job yet, and hating the process of looking for a job. Search for a job this way - and you’ll probably get a whole lot more frustration and discouragement - and if you find a job, it’s likely to not be much fun.   For instance, if you want to manifest a more fit body - you have to get into the mindset of someone who is already fit. Be that person - by doing the things they do, make the food choices they would make. Assume the role of a fit person and live your life as if it is already true - you can essentially reprogram your subconscious beliefs.   Focusing on what you consider to be “reality” can get in the way. When you say “hey, but I’m not fit, and I’m too tired to go for a run, and besides, I don’t like green smoothies” it doesn’t help you - because, of course, this takes you out of alignment with manifesting a more fit body.   What about if you just want a better relationship? How would a person in the kind of relationship you want to have act? What would they be thinking about? What would they naturally do? How would they treat their partner?   Being who you want to be - a kind, loving person with all your heart, not just conditionally to get a certain desired reaction or outcome - is the way to get what you want. It won’t work to be manipulative. You can’t do nice things, hoping someone else will be nice back. It has to be genuine and real. It has to come from real, generous feelings that are a result of who you are.   Why let another person drag you down. If you’ve got subconscious resentments or fears and are holding back - figure out what those are for yourself. Not for anyone else. Get into alignment with what you really want - be the person you want to be - and see how that opens up possibilities. You don’t know what kinds of good things are waiting for you, right around the corner.   We can’t possibly fathom all the good that is available in this universe, just waiting for us to get into a better groove - to get into alignment with it. We can do, do, do. But in the end - being is what will make the biggest difference. You have to “be” in the feeling of it first - not the wanting of it or wishing for it or hoping and longing for it.   So much of the world is out of sync - but you can do your own small part to be the person you want to be, make the choices that support that, and take the actions that come from that place -without struggle or hard work. Just be - it’s a much faster, easier way to get what you want.   Be sure to download the bonus content for this episode - I’ve put the 3 Questions into a one-page worksheet for you. I’ve included more prompts and suggestions to help you really get crystal clear on how it would feel to have what you want. Start small and strengthen your manifesting muscle so you can bring bigger and better things into your life. I’d love to hear from you over at Annie Kip Style on Instagram or send me a note on the StyleWithIntentionpodcast.com website.   Until next week, keep making your life more and more the way you want it to be! Download the BONUS CONTENT here: "3 Questions To Get What You Want Without The Struggle"  

Midlife is a topic many of us would rather not think about - but I'm on a mission to make midlife the new "prime!" Today, I'm sharing why you should be excited about whatever's next for you and how you can make your life more the way you want it to be.   The biggest takeaways from this episode: Why holding on to the past doesn't work. How changing how you think of midlife is powerful. The idea that your second half might be your best years yet. How the truest "you" is the best gift you can gift you can give.   Hey there - I'm so glad you're here today! In today’s episode, I'm talking about a topic a lot of us would rather avoid - midlife. I've been thinking about what I thought midlife would be like and what it actually IS like, now that I'm solidly here in my 50's. It isn't as bad as I thought it would be - and in fact, I'm kind of excited about it! In this episode, I'm encouraging you to get excited about whatever's next for you as well.  We all have a choice - to step into midlife with fear or with the expectation that these will be our best years yet. The Bonus Content for today's episode will give you even more ways to think about your future and what you want for yourself. Today, I'm sharing some of the good things that come with midlife, how to change your perspective on midlife, and how I'm on a mission to make midlife the new "prime"! Enjoy the show!       Today’s FREE BONUS CONTENT is a list of "10 Great Books To Read At Midlife" that I have put together from my personal collection. These books are non-fiction - some might be considered "self-help" and others are just insightful. They've helped me through the years and I turn to them again and again for guidance and perspective. If you'd like to find a new way of looking at the second half of your life, I think you'll find some encouragement and new ways of seeing in these old favorites of mine.   Check out our “Listening To Podcasts Cheat Sheet” for everything you need to know about downloading and listening to podcasts from your iPhone.     If you’d rather read, than listen, here’s the FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #18 Midlife - Let's Make It The New Prime Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast, where we talk about how to use your personal style choices as a tool to create a life you love.   We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really good!   I’m your host, Annie Kip, and  today we’re stepping into the perspective of our future self - and looking at our past and deciding if we lived the way we wanted to live. Time goes by so quickly. Often we don’t want to look at the reality that our days are whizzing by and adding up to years.   We don’t see ourselves as in “midlife.” It just doesn’t feel that way.   Midlife? Shhh - no one wants to hear talk like that.   I used to feel sorry for the people whose kids had all gone off to college. What did they do all day? They just seemed kind of sad to me. Without purpose now. Drifting. With their wrinkly knees. I wondered - are they depressed? How could they let their hair go gray and gain weight like that?   Age is just a number, right? Well, the numbers don’t lie - 50 is halfway to 100.   I resisted this fact a while. I put in a lot of time, effort, and money to hold onto the appearance of youth. And I was losing the battle.   One day, I was commiserating with a friend about coloring our hair. There were reasons we felt we had to keep doing it:   So other women wouldn’t think we looked old. So random men would think we were pretty. So our kids wouldn’t be embarrassed of us.   It was ridiculous. This wasn’t who I wanted to be. So I stopped.   It was my birthday present to myself when I was 50.   We all do things that make us feel the way we used to feel.   Everyone has their own strategy. Hair color. Exercise. Flirtations. Fast cars. Clothes. Competition. Wine. There are lots of perfectly acceptable ways to cope. It’s all good until it doesn’t feel right anymore.   At this point, we have a sense that we might be losing our chance to make our lives good. Sometimes, there’s a sense of urgency to making decisions and making changes. People do all kinds of crazy (and not so crazy) things at midlife - like quitting jobs, leaving relationships, buying stuff that makes them feel good.   Or they hold on tight. Not wanting any change. They resist what the “young-people” are into, they don’t want to get involved in new technology, they stick to routines more than ever and are angry at the world changing around them. They’re hoping they can maintain the status quo - which can end up feeling restrictive and controlling to the people around them - and sometime bring about the changes in relationships and jobs and friends they are trying so hard to avoid.   This is a time of clarification for all of us. No one wants to look back with regrets. We are standing in a unique place where we can look at the past and see how we didn’t appreciate how young we were 10 years ago - and look forward to see that, someday, we might wish for the way we feel right now, in spite of the aches and pains.   I’d like to suggest that age is a privilege - it gives us the unique ability and perspective to choose our battles and figure out what really matters. We don’t have to resign ourselves to becoming irrelevant and invisible. Time is going by - that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. We have lived long enough to know that, however hard things might seem, we will get through them. And good things sometimes show up out of nowhere.   It has taken this many years to become who we are.   Now is the time to really zero in on it. Refine your vision. Finally be who you want to be. Own it. When the kids were really little, we had to put our needs aside. We couldn’t even lift our heads up to look around at times - the days were long.   It’s okay to think about what we want now. We’ve paid our dues.   Sure, the kids still need us - they always will - but the endless Little League games, school concerts, and driving to activities are almost behind us.   We can start to pick our heads up and look around to take stock. What will be next? For us. Who do we want to be in our kids’ lives? What is the trajectory we are on - because we’ll probably become more of the way we already unless we intentionally choose to do something different. The next half of our lives could be the best half.   What if we genuinely believed that our best years are ahead of us. How would that change how you live everyday? What do you think that would do for your mind- and opening it up to new possibilities, different opportunities, and solutions you’d never considered before. What would that do for your moments? Would you appreciate them more?   This podcast is about creating a life that’s based on feeling great - and all the benefits that naturally come from that - confident style, deep connections, self-awareness, and feeling happy everyday. . It is about living the truth, choosing what you do and think intentionally, and owning your brilliance. I have plenty of insights, tips, interviews, and real life stories coming up - but this is an evolving project and I always want to hear from you - what you like and don’t like - I want to know what serves you best.   I'm on a mission to make midlife the new “prime.”     If you aren’t happy with your life, this is the time to make it better. Figure out what your vision for yourself is and work out how you are going to make it real. Starting with yourself and how you feel inside. Not how you wished you felt - how you genuinely feel. That is the sweet spot.   Become the person who lives that life you see for yourself - and possibilities will open up. It’s never too late. The truest “you” is the best gift you can give your family and friends.   We’ll keep strategizing about what would move the needle toward happier. We’ll tease out what’s weighing you down? How to get the gumption to do you do that thing you think you cannot do?   Together, we’ll look at what requires you to dig deep. What you need to let go of. We’ll look are where you shine and what you can do to shine more.   What would it be like to stop pushing so hard and let your enthusiasm sweep you along? The things you have been putting off might be the most rewarding. The solutions may surprise you with their elegant simplicity. Whatever it is, do it for yourself.   In the end, there is only you. You are solely accountable for your one, small life. Any age can be your prime. Let’s walk away from all the years of striving and start to enjoy and embrace who we have become and get excited about where we are headed. It’s about time.   When your “past” is all that you have left, will you smile at yourself? Let’s make sure you do!   ___   This week’s Bonus Content is my list of “10 Great Books To Read At 50” - I’m  well into my 50's now and I’m re-reading a lot of these. They’re gems and full of attitude adjustment kinds of lessons. They have been just what I've needed over the years, to refocus my thoughts onto the positive feelings I want to live with everyday.   We’re stepping into our prime with style around here - and bringing our friends along for the ride makes it all the better. Please forward this to a friend who needs to hear this message - or maybe a little encouragement right now - they will thank you!   Until next week -  keep makin’ things look the way you want to feel, because happy looks really, really good!   Bye, bye for now! Be sure to download the Bonus Content! CLICK HERE "10 Great Books To Read At Midlife"      

Friendship is 100% voluntary - that's what makes it so wonderful! - and also the thing that pushes it lower on the priority list, when life gets busy. It seems like friendship should be easy at this point - but that's not always the case. Listen in to today as I share 3 essential qualities you can cultivate to maintain and deepen your adult friendships.     The biggest takeaways from this episode: How friendship is important for your health. Why friendship gets more difficult as we get older. The qualities adult friendships must have to keep growing. Why your friendships deserve your attention, even when you're busy.   Hey there, Thanks for being here today! Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast. Today, we’re going to dive into adult friendships. This is a topic that I've thought and read a lot about - and struggled with too. "Friendship" is one of those things that we assume should be easy at this point in our lives, but it doesn't always feel that way. Adult friendships can feel vulnerable and tricky to navigate - but there's scientific evidence that friendship is really important to your physical and mental well-being - so it's worth it!. In this episode, I'm sharing 3 important qualities you can cultivate to to maintain and deepen your adult friendships. I recorded this episode a couple of weeks ago - but, this week, I had some real life lessons in the value of adult friendships. This last week was a doozy for me. Some unexpected changes in my relationship with the beau really threw me for a loop - and when I reached out to friends, they were there for me. I've had to rely on friends more than usual during this time and I can't imagine going through this without them.  It's never too late to make new friends and develop close friendships! Listen in today as I share how the 3 qualities of friendship play out in adult friendships. I've seen how it works in my own life and an excited to share my insights with you. As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good! Enjoy the show!         If you’re new to podcasts, check out our “Listening To Podcasts Cheat Sheet” for everything you need to know about downloading and listening to podcasts from your iPhone.   CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE   If you’d rather read, than listen, here’s the FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #17 DEVELOP DEEPER ADULT FRIENDSHIPS WITH THESE 3 QUALITIES   Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast, where we talk about how to use your personal style choices as a tool to create a life you love. We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really good! I’m your host, Annie Kip, and I’m so glad you’re here today! Today we’re talking about adult friendships.   Did you know there is a single question which can predict whether you will be alive and happy at age 80?   Ask yourself, “Is there someone in your life whom you would feel comfortable phoning at 4 in the morning to tell your troubles to?”   If you answered “yes” you’ve got a really good shot at being not just alive, but also happy, into your 80’s. If you’re answer is”no” your chances are much, much lower for being happy and alive into your 80’s. But it’s never too late to change that.   This info is from the Grant study that started in 1938 and followed the physical and emotional health of 200 men, who are now well into their 90’s. When the man who led the study for many years, George Vaillant, was asked what he’d learned from the study, his response was simply “That the only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people.”   That’s pretty powerful. We all enjoy having friends, but I doubt we are all aware of how having friends is actually vital to our health and well-being.   Some of you may know that I’ve moved 8 times in my adult life. Each place I’ve moved, I had to establish new friendships. I didn’t really anticipate that I would be moving so many times, so I really invested myself into the friends that I made in each new place. Every single time, it was really, really hard to leave the people I had became close to and every single time, it was hard to make new friends again - but looking back, I feel like the luckiest person on earth to have ended up with really wonderful friends all over the country.   I’m one of those people who always feels super lucky just to be included. I don’t take it for granted that people want to be friends with me and I always feel like I’m not quite as good a friend to other people as they are to me. My friends tell me this isn’t true, but still, there’s a little insecure part of me that feels like I’m the lucky one to have such great friends!   I’m a bit of an introvert - I’m fine at parties and I do love socializing -- but I’m not totally comfortable reaching out. I can get lost in my work, head down, stuck in my office, day in and day out - and before I know it, weeks have gone by and I haven’t reached out to anyone. Luckily, I have old friends who know to just drop by my house - and they know I’m always happy to make coffee and chat anytime.   But to make new adult friends, I’ve really had to go outside my comfort zone.   A few years ago, I saw a woman at the gym who I knew of from around town , but her kids were older than mine, so we never matched up in school and we didn’t have the same circle of friends. I don’t know what possessed me one day, but I walked up to her and introduced myself - and told her I’d always admired her, was interested in her work as a coach, and wondered if she wanted to have coffee someday.   To make a long story short - we made plans and I accidentally stood her up, which was a terrible way to start a friendship. Luckily, she gave me another chance and we finally met up for coffee. We had coffee again, then walked together, talked about our work, then eventually our families and relationships, and she’s now one of my very close friends. I didn’t even realize how much we had in common and how much we would enjoy being friends. I just took a chance, put aside my worry that I would seem like a weirdo, and followed a hunch. I’m so glad I reached out to her - because otherwise, I wouldn’t have this sweet friend in my life.   Making friends is something that seems like it should come naturally - and it does sometimes - but more often it feels vulnerable and awkward and scary. I’m not totally comfortable doing it, but I think it’s worth it.   In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about the 3 characteristics that are critical for adult friendships to flourish - consistency, vulnerability, and positivity.   We’ll talk about how you can develop these characteristics and take a look at how they look in real life adult friendships. These characteristics will help you, not only maintain your old friendships, but also attract new adult friends as well.   This episode is perfect for you if you’re feeling as if you’d like to deepen the friendships that you already have or be the kind of person who attracts new friends.   The first characteristic is consistency.   Old and new friendships need some amount of consistent interaction beyond “likes’ on Facebook to maintain their closeness and grow. Either get-togethers in person or phone calls or even emails. Some degree of regular, personal interaction is critical to keeping friendships alive.   It seems to me that middle-age is the hardest time to maintain and grow friendships. Having consistency in a friendship was a lot easier when we were younger.   My social life used to sort of revolve around the sports and the activities that my kids did - I made friends with the women who were also waiting for swimming lessons and I got to know people while we watched our kids play endless games of little league. There were regularly scheduled reasons for interacting because of carpooling and school events and volunteering.   There was a built-in consistency - we were in closer, day-to-day touch with each other because our kids were friends with people that lived in our neighborhood - we could grab a quick coffee while the kids played - it didn’t have to be a big, planned event to get together and catch up a little. We had more involvement with each other in a sort of accidental way.   The same was true in college - you almost couldn’t help making friends in college because your peers were always right there. We had time to make friendships, get to know each other, and build trust.   If you’re about my age, you’re busy with kids and your own career and time for friendship might feel like a luxury - and it might be sort of lower on your priority list just because you have so many other obligations and there’s only so much time in the day.   But this is the magic of friendship - it’s based on choice. It’s a completely voluntary relationship. The fact that it isn’t obligatory is what makes it so special.   The friends who we choose to make time for on a consistent basis are the ones we become closest to. When you have a new friend, you have to follow up and make plans again to keep the friendship growing. Consistency is the key to friendships because, especially when you’re a busy adult, it has to be a mutual choice to be available for each other, to make space in our lives for each other, and to rely on each other.   Which leads me nicely into the 2nd characteristic of deep adult friendships - which is  vulnerability.   I’ve talked a lot about vulnerability on this podcast - particularly in episode #9 - and vulnerability is a critical element of adult friendships.   Again, when our kids were little, there was some built-in vulnerability, because we shared a lot of the same issues and concerns. Our marriages, money worries, how the kids were getting along in school, whether or not they made the team, and who was feeling left out. With little kids, we most often has little problems. And the stakes were lower, most of the time.   In middle-age, we’re a little older, we’ve got bigger kids, and we’ve often got bigger problems. Sometimes embarrassing problems we don’t want to tell people about. Kids get into trouble, do stupid things, they sometimes treat us - their parents - very badly. We sometime have serious relationship issues or health issues. It’s a lot more vulnerable to share our concerns and issues when they scare us or hurt us. And the issues can feel like a reflection on us too - we wonder if we messed up somewhere along the way.   When the stakes are much higher, we might be more inclined to just keep our problems to ourselves and put on a brave face. It’s just easier.   Especially if we don’t have the consistent day to day contact, no one wants to dump a bunch of bad news on their friends.   Ironically, friendships can help us get through the tough, painful times - if we’re willing to be vulnerable - but being vulnerable feels risky because it could lead to rejection and more pain - so people avoid it.   This is how we start to drift apart - we stop sharing. We don’t rely on each other. To keep that from happening - we have to make intentional effort to keep being connected. We have to allow a balance of give and take and both parties in a friendship have to be willing to take a chance, to share the tough stuff, to be real.   If only one party is willing to be vulnerable - things get out of balance. It can be very painful and make us feel like we’re the only ones floundering, if we share and the other person doesn't.   The key is that you have to let the other person “give” to you as well. You have to “take” sometimes - and that’s super vulnerable. If you’re always the one doing the giving, you might feel good about yourself, but you won’t build a great friendship.   Both parties have to be willing to be vulnerable - because you can’t have a deep friendship without that balance.   This is a time in our lives where we get to pick who we are friends with. When our time becomes scarce, and the problems and issues become bigger and more painful - we really need to be picky about who we are friends with.   The third important element of deep adult friendships is positivity.   On top of consistency and vulnerability, the thing we need most from our friends is positivity.   We want to know that, even when we do share our biggest vulnerabilities, that our friends will lift us up. A consistent and reliable friend is someone you know you can count on, when you’re not at the top of your game. As we said at the beginning of the podcast, this is the friend you can call at 4 in the morning to share your troubles.   The close friends we have had for a long time hold our history, they know our families, and they’ve been there through the disappointments, the losses and the heartaches - as well as the celebrations and milestones.   These good friends are able to help us see past our own low moments. They help us remember that we really do love our partners, even when they annoy us or let us down. They know we love our children, even when they do stupid things and we swear we’re going to disown them. They help us regain our confidence when we have a setback or lose our jobs or get dumped. They see the best in us when no one else can.   We feel good about ourselves after spending time with a positive friend. And that doesn’t mean they just flatter us or tell us what we want to hear. Our closest friends are the one who can actually tell us what we don’t want to hear. They can help us see our blind-spots - because looking at yourself and seeing things you don’t like is extremely vulnerable. Having a friend who believes in you, even in your ugly moments is a real friend.   In the book, “The Myth Of Happiness” (which I will also link to in the show-notes), the author says that the most intimate, trusting friendships are distinguished not by how the friends respond to each other’s disappointments and losses, but by how they react to each other’s good news.”   Being  positive and happy for each other is a huge contributor to connection in a friendship. Your true friends are the ones you call when things go right! Because, oddly, being happy for yourself is quite vulnerable.   I’ve thought about this a lot - and I’ve found that this is really true - we only share the very happy and the very sad feelings with our truest, closest friends - the ones who are consistently there for us, the ones who are willing to be vulnerable as well, and the ones who give is a really positive feeling.   So there you have it - the 3 characteristics that create deep adult friendships are consistency, vulnerability, and positivity. In real life, this is what it looks like.   #1 Consistency - which means finding ways to have regular, in-person contact. You can do this by setting a regular coffee date, or phone call, or forming a group that meets on a regular basis. Doing this episode has made me look at where I do and don’t have consistency in my friendships. It’s reminded me that I used really enjoy being in a book club and a ladies dinner group that I was a part of when I lived in Portland, Oregon and that I’d like to get something like that going where I live now. Especially if you’re an introvert like me, it helps to build more consistency into my friendships and socializing.   #2 - Vulnerability - which means really sharing the truth of who you are and balancing that with allowing other people to help you. Not always putting on a brave face. Admitting when things are a little hard for you. Letting friends come over for coffee, even if your kitchen is a mess and you haven’t showered. Asking a friend to help you with something or just listen.   In looking at my friendships, I see that the ones I feel closest to are the ones who have let me be there for them. And the ones who have been there for me. It’s a really important balance.   Especially in a new friendship, being vulnerable a little at a time is ideal. This gives you a chance to build up consistency and establish that “give and take” that will create the balance that is needed for true friendship.   #3 - Positivity - those people who add to our lives in really positive ways. They are there for us consistently, they hold our vulnerabilities - but they also help lift us out of ourselves, they remind us of what’s good about us and about our lives. They’re interested in us and want to know and understand us. They listen. They see the best. The celebrate whatever makes us happy. These are the friends who we want to spend more time with because we just feel so dang good after hanging out with them.   I hope you feel good after listening today!   To wrap this up - I want to share one more thought. There’s a nurse, named Bronnie Ware, who worked with dying patients for many years. She wrote a book about the regrets she heard people talk about on their deathbeds - and one of the top 5 regrets people had was not keeping in touch with friends.   Many years ago, I called my good friend Erica, at 3 a.m.,  because my dog had died and I didn’t know who else to call. She was there for me, without missing a beat. I want to be that kind of friend. I hope you have a friend like that in your life. And if you don’t, it’s not too late to start being that person and building a friendship that will be that for you.   I get how hard it is to stay in touch - especially during this really busy season of our lives - but I’ve realized, after doing this episode, that it’s pretty simple. Be consistent, be vulnerable, and be positive.   I’ve gotten a lot of ideas for ways that I can create better friendships in my own life and I hope you have too! I’d love to hear from you, anytime -  I share a lot of insights over on Instagram @AnnieKipStyle - just send me a DM or make a comment on my posts.   Thanks for listening today! Until next week - bye, bye for now!   LINKS TO RESOURCES:   https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/10/how-friendships-change-over-time-in-adulthood/411466/   http://time.com/3748090/friends-social-health/   https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/soloish/wp/2017/04/25/how-to-make-and-keep-friends-in-your-20s/?utm_term=.77dae1562880   Book: Triumphs of Experience: The Men of the Harvard Grant Study, by George E. Vaillant Book: The Myth Of Happiness, by Sonja Lyubomirsky Book: The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, by Bronie Ware   Header image by: Jose Gonzalez

Sleep is essential to our happiness, but all too often – it can be elusive. Instead of tossing and turning tonight, I invite you to try something new. This unique sleep meditation will guide you into a restful, peaceful sleep, so you can fall asleep and stay asleep, all night long.   Hey there, Thanks for tuning in! In this episode, I’m doing something a little different. I’ve created a special meditation to help you settle into a deep sleep. Sleep is so essential to our happiness! Don’t you agree!?! I know how frustrating it is to not be able to sleep. I’ve spent a lot of time experimenting with different tricks and techniques to get to sleep and stay asleep. Today, I’m sharing a special sleep meditation I originally made for my daughter. She was away on a trip and I wanted her to have a comforting voice to listen to when she was feeling homesick. I’ve used it to fall asleep, as well, and thought you might enjoy it too! Listen in today as I guide you through the process of preparing for rest and drifting into a peaceful, deep sleep – because we all know that restful nights lead to happier days. As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life…because happy looks really, really good! Enjoy the show!

Get out of your own way by transforming your “have to’s” into “get to’s” and start looking forward to what’s next for you.    Click HERE to listen right now on iTunes!    THE BIGGEST TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE: Why feeling deprived is blocking your ability to manifest. How to shift from feeling deprived to being happy with your choices. The mindset which will help raise your emotion state. How making judgments will derail you.   Hey there! Today’s episode goes into a mindset that I’ve been working on for myself. In all this work I’ve been doing around manifesting and intention, it’s become really clear that the way we feel about whatever we’re doing in our lives affects how open or closed we are to having good experiences. I came up with this way to change my perspective on things that really didn’t feel great in my own life – like dealing with the ups and downs that come with being the mom of teenagers, and not having enough time with the beau, and my recent choice to stay away from alcohol. I found that, if I really stepped back and thought about it – there were good things to focus on. I’ve picked apart each of the situations that feel like a “have to” and found some “get to’s” to feel better about. For example, I get to feel proud of being there for my son and showing him love, even when he’s cross with me – because I know that’s what he really needs. I get to experience the beau’s kindness and patience, as we try to manage our schedules. I get to feel clear and energized every morning that I wake up after not drinking the night before. I hope you’ll find some inspiration in today’s episode – to transform something that is hard in your life, into something that feels even just a little bit better! Enjoy the show!

* Manifesting * is simply the name we give to purposefully working with our subconscious mind to create the experiences we want to have in our conscious lives.   Click HERE to listen right now on iTunes!    THE BIGGEST TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE: What manifesting is and how you can use it. How to bring more of what you want into your life. The importance of alignment in creating genuine emotions. The counter-intuitive trick to manifesting.   Hey there, Thanks for tuning in!  Today we are going to dive into one of my favorite topics — intentional manifesting. If you’re not familiar with the concept, “manifesting” is the name we give to purposefully working with our subconscious mind to create the experiences we want to have in our conscious lives. Simply put — you get what you genuinely feel inside! Manifesting is both much more simple – and more subtle and nuanced than you might think. (This is definitely is not about wishing for a million dollars – and seeing it appear in your bank account the next day!) It’s about truly feeling and expecting your intention to happen, with same degree of confidence that you have in the sun coming up tomorrow — and let’s be real, recreating that feeling is much easier said than done. Listen in today as we explore the role of manifesting in our lives and discuss some tools and exercises to help you invite more of what makes you happy into your life. As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life…because happy looks really, really good! Enjoy the show!

Your energetic vibration and emotions are intricately connected – and they determine how you experience the world. You can choose higher vibrational energy to have better experiences!   Click HERE to listen right now on iTunes!    THE BIGGEST TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE: What energetic vibration is and how it affects us. How our emotional state is inextricably linked to our energetic vibration. How to use your emotional frequency to your advantage every day. Why you should reach for a better-feeling emotion each and every day.   Hey there, Thanks for being here today! Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast. We’re going to dive into a concept that is the basis for everything we talk about on this show. The idea is that our emotional state really does determine the experiences we have – and this is within our control! You can dial into an emotional state – just like you can dial into a station on the radio. Before you think I’m going all “woo woo” here – I want you to know that this is real science! (Quantum physics, baby!) AND you’ve probably already experienced it firsthand without even realizing it. Think about that negative friend who also always seems to have more and more problems in her life. Or those “rock star” days when you’ve got on a great outfit and your hair is working – and it seems like everything you do is super easy and fun.    Those scenarios are not mere coincidence, there’s more at play here! Listen in today as we jump into the concept of energetic vibration and how you can use it to bring a sense of freedom and expansiveness into your life – and more “rock star” days! You have more power than you realize. As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life…because happy looks really, really good! Enjoy the show!

How to intentionally develop self-worth and teach others to treat you well with how you treat yourself. The importance of understanding that no one is going to value you more than you value yourself.   Click HERE to listen right now on iTunes!   THE BIGGEST TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE: Self-worth is key to teaching others how to treat us. Why no one is going to value you more than you value yourself. How knowing your self-worth helps you and everyone else around you. How I learned the importance of self-value the hard way. The attributes of women who value themselves.   Hey there, Thanks for tuning in! In this episode we’ll be talking about something that is critical to your happiness – self-worth.    As parents, partners, and good workers we can be so focused on taking care of other people that we often fall into habits of neglecting ourselves in small ways that can really start to add up and get in our way. When you lose track of your self-worth and stop doing the things you love – the things that make your heart happy! – you lose a little bit of what makes you – YOU! You lose a little of your spark. And that’s not good for you or anyone else! You can decide how you want to be treated and the best place to start is with the way you respect and treat yourself. Listen in today as I share the 7 Secrets of Women Who Value Themselves. This is what I aspire to and I hope it gives you something to reach for as well. As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life…because happy looks really, really good! Enjoy the show!

The power to say what you want to say, when you want to say it – these three simple phrases can help make your whole life more the way you want it to be! Click HERE to listen right now on iTunes!  The biggest takeaways from this episode: How simple phrases can set limits politely and firmly. The words to ask for what you want, without being demanding. How to offer help without being controlling. How preparing yourself with the right words is empowering.   Hey there – I’m so glad you stopped by! Today we’ll be talking about something that’s not always easy for me — saying what I really want to say in the moment.  Have you ever walked away from an interaction, realizing you gave away all of your power? You’re kicking yourself and wishing you had said something different! Well, I felt like that was happening to me too often – and I have some solutions to share! There are many reasons people have a hard time speaking up for themselves (and, most of them come from a great place – like trying to not hurt anyone’s feelings!) but, over time, I’ve learned that being prepared makes it easier for me to say what I want to say in the moment – and still not hurt anyone’s feelings! Listen in today as I share my 3 go-to phrases when I need to say something difficult – I think you’ll find them really helpful! As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life…because happy looks really, really good! Enjoy the show!

  All the choices you make either bring you closer to your ideal life or keep you from it. You may have to go through difficult things to get there, endure setbacks, and you may even have to face dragons.   Here are the biggest takeaways from this episode: How the “whispers” can help you dream up your ideal life. Why letting yourself dream feels risky even though not dreaming is riskier. The difference between whispers and dragons (hint: one doesn’t help you). How to stop feeling deprived. I’ll also share how I’m dealing with my own personal dragons.   Hey there! Thanks for joining me today! In this episode we are going to talk about “slaying your dragons.”   Yes, dragons. A dragon is anything that’s keeping you away from what you really want out of your ideal life, aka your castle (see what I’m doing here...).  Dragons can be small diversions that often seem like short-cuts -- or nagging things like self-doubt, bad habits - or even a not-so-happy relationship, depending on how they affect your life.  Dragons are totally different for everyone - and only you know what your dragons are. You’ll be dealing with dragons all your life, so you may as well learn how to make friends with them! Join me in learning how to sort through what your dragons are and how you can use the small, ordinary decisions you make every day to create a life you want to live. (Hint - you already have everything it takes to do this!). As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good!   Enjoy the show! BONUS CONTENT Be sure to download this bonus content - we're sharing "5 Simple Phrases" which will help you own your day - and, really, your whole life! These phrases will help you do things like...set limits politely and firmly, ask for what you want without being demanding, and take yourself out of the impossible job of trying to figure out what will make other people happy! When you have the right words to help you say what you want to say, when you need to say it, you have the power to take control and make your life more the way you want it to be! Click HERE to get the bonus content and we’ll send it out right away! ____________   If you’d rather read than listen, here's the FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #10 - SLAY YOUR DRAGONS   Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast, where we talk about how to use your personal style choices as a tool to create a life you love.   We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really good!   I’m your host, Annie Kip, and this is our last episode of season 1. We’re going to talk about what is keeping you from getting what you want out of your life.   What would your ideal life feel like? What would it feel like? Have you ever taken the time to really put that thought together in detail?   It’s something that’s easy to put off. We get busy and we’re fairly happy. We figure we don’t have that much control anyway and we assume things will work out. There are kids and jobs and parents and spouses and laundry to do.   Thinking about what you really want from your life might even feel risky - what if you dream up something that seems out of reach. It might even seem self-indulgent and entitled to you. Or frivolous. But what if you never take the time to think about what you want?  Whose preferences are deciding what your life is like. Or, What if you like the direction you’re headed in, but you get derailed? What if you end up somewhere that isn’t where you wanted to be?   Especially if you feel like you’ve lost track of what you want - my suggestion is to start with imagining how you want to feel - by listening to the “whispers” - we talked about this in episode 2 - they are the small, quiet voices that tell you about what makes your heart sing.   They’re the reactions and the little bits of feedback your brain gives you whenever something lights you up. The whispers can sometimes really hard to hear and even harder to hold onto - but if you pay attention and practice listening, they’re there, trying to help you get crystal clear on what you really want. When you’re sorting through all the various thoughts in your head, you can recognize the whispers because they’re soft, and calm, and unassuming - not loud, pushy or berating.   They give you clues to the core of who you are and tell you about what you make you happy.   For instance, think about how it would feel in your ideal life, if you - had a job or didn’t have a job? What is the work you would love to do? How would that feel every day? Would you like to feel purposeful, valued, appreciated, loved? Would you feel good if you had a mission that drives you and fulfilled you? Would you feel good if you rested more? What about relationships - how do you want to feel with the important people in your life? Your space - what would your ideal space feel like?   If you’re quiet and still, it’s a lot easier to listen to the whispers and notice the places that resonate with you.   For a minute, I want you to think about your ideal life as a metaphorical castle. The place where all your fairy tale dreams come true - Where you get to live the way you want to live, your ideal life... Where you get to do what you want, Where you get everything you need.   Your castle is the one place where you get to feel the way you want to feel every day.   To get to that good feeling state, to get to this castle - you have to do certain things. All the little choices you make in your life either bring you closer to your castle or keep you from it.   If you’re like most people, you may have to go through difficult things to get to your ideal life. Make tough decisions. Travel through rough terrain. Endure setbacks. Face challenges.   You may even have to face dragons.   Now, dragons are the opposite of the whispers. The dragons in your life can be loud and demanding or subtle and wiley.   Sometimes, they sneak up on you and trip you. Other times they can be big and strong and block your way and make you feel scared and afraid to move forward.   They take your attention away from what you really want and tempt you with diversions that might seem like a short-cut or an easier way to feel good, but at least in the short term, will keep you from getting to your castle - your ideal life.   In the end, the dragons can wear you down and make you wonder if getting to your ideal life is even really worth the effort.   Only you know what your dragons are. They could be anything that’s keeping you from doing what you really want to do. A dragon could be self-doubt. A dragon could be the extra weight you keep wanting to lose or just your habit of not getting up when you planned to. A dragon could be eating food that you know will make you feel bad. A dragon could be just being shy and afraid to reach out.   Dragons are totally different for everyone and they will even vary over your lifetime. You may not have the same dragons all your life - and when you do conquer a dragon, there’s often another dragon waiting in the wings.   A dragon doesn’t care about you and your goals, it only cares about the immediate situation. It can create crisis and panic and it’s hard to ignore. It can make you think that giving in to this one temptation will be fine.   Just this once, you skip the gym or flirt with someone you shouldn’t. Maybe you eat a cookie for breakfast, because you were in a rush. Or you just keep to yourself, instead of reaching out.   You figure if you just feed the dragon a little, it might calm down and leave you alone. What’s the harm?   The confusing thing is that sometimes, those choices do make you feel good - And there’s no dragon behind them. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between dragons, which are trying to hurt you, and whispers, which are trying to help you.   After all, sometimes you do get an emotional boost from taking a break or resting. You don’t always have to be strong and push forward and go go go. Plenty of people stay in marriages that are not 100% what they want. Lots of people decide to buy bigger clothes, rather than lose weight. There’s nothing inherently wrong with any of these decision or deciding to sleep or have a cookie.   The problem comes when feeding the dragon makes it stronger and it keeps you from getting where you want to go. It hold you back or makes you ashamed. That’s how you know it’s a dragon.   A dragon makes you feel bad, it berates you, it makes you fearful, worried, and steals your time - while a whisper feels calm and clear and sure. A whisper doesn’t need to yell - it’s confident and composed, even quiet and subtle.   You’re the only one who can say whether a thought is a whisper or a dragon trying to get your attention.   You can tell when there’s a dragon holding you back because there’s no movement. If your weight is keeping you from feeling good and stepping out to do new things, then you’ve got a dragon on your hands. If you use your unhappy marriage as an excuse for not doing what you want to do and feeling the way you want to feel, then you might have a dragon on your hands.   So what’s keeping you from your castle? What does your dragon feed on? And how can you fight it without blowing up your life?   I have a lot of experience with dragons. I’ve spent so much time trying to figure out how to deal with dragons, resisting, and trying hard to ignore them. It’s exhausting. I’ve found that it’s nearly impossible to over power the dragons and the only way I can deal with my dragons is to transform my relationship with them.   Remember, we’ve said - we always have at least 2 choices - change the situation or change how we feel about the situation.   I’ve decided to make friends with dragons, so I can manage them better - and it’s working.   Here’s an example of how I’m doing this. This is really vulnerable, but the biggest example from my life recently has been my wine dragon. I don’t think if myself as an alcoholic, but I did start to notice that my consumption was increasing and that the day after I had wine, I didn’t feel great. The next day, I ended up eating food that was bad for me - instead of sticking to my eating plan. The day after I had wine, I wasn’t very motivated. I got less work done. And I felt a little sad.   The wine dragon was messing with my self-esteem and my weight and my motivation, so I tried to not have wine - but the dragon kept after me. I would have just a little and then always a little more. I would plan to not have any, and then have some anyway.   The problem with dragons is - when you give in to them a little, they just get stronger and wear you down.   I felt deprived every time I didn’t have wine and even felt a little angry that I couldn’t enjoy wine like everyone else AND feel good and get everything done. This went on for a while, tearing down my self-esteem, paralyzing my work, and if I’m totally honest here, making me feel a bit depressed and disempowered.   This dragon was keeping me from feeling good and getting the things done that really mattered to me. I realized that wine was getting to be a dragon in my life.   Then I started working on this concept of using personal style to create the life you want to live. I was telling people that all of the small, ordinary choices they make, add up to how they feel and then create the experiences they have in their lives. That we always have a choice - to change the situation or change how we feel about the situation.   And it dawned on me - that the only way I could tame this dragon was by changing how I felt about it.   If I kept thinking of wine as something I wanted, I would never get away from the dragon. It would never be satisfied and the consequences would be the same every single time, as they have always been.   Instead, I decided to focus on wanting the things I really, really wanted so much. To feel crisp and sharp and good everyday. To get my projects going. To feel proud of myself.   To get there, I spent time really concentrating and feeling in my bones how good it would feel to have these things. I intentionally made personal style choices that supported what I wanted - I set up my office to feel productive and professional, I bought flowers for myself, I wore clothes that made me feel strong, and I set up routines to help me get into the emotional state I wanted to be in - feeling really confident, sharp, and happy as a non-drinker - in order to be an emotional match to the feeling I wanted for myself.   I decided that not having wine was a gift I was giving to myself - because I wanted something else for myself more.   I intentionally shifted my feeling from deprived to feeling genuinely good about getting stuff done and making better choices for myself. Slowly but surely, this became more important to me than the momentary fun of having a glass of wine. It became my new normal way of being.   Now, I’m not perfect and I still have wine from time to time, but I think about it totally differently now - and to be honest, I usually regret it - but I don’t beat myself up about it like I used to. I just note how it feels and use that information to help me make a decision the next time the dragon comes after me.   I don’t know if wine will be a dragon for me for the rest of my life, or if it’s just during this season. I’m okay with waiting to find out because I like how I feel right now.   I want to feel good, more than I want wine - I know that’s true for me right now and I think I will always be tweaking my life to make it more the way I want it to be. Maybe you guys can relate to having dragons and a perfectly imperfect life like I do - I’d love to hear about your dragons if you want to shoot me a note over on the website - www.stylewithintentionpodcast.com. Let me know what you’re struggling with.   It all comes down to the small, ordinary decisions you make every day - this is what adds up to an ideal life. You can decide how you want to feel every day. You have so much more power to decide than you might realize - you have the tools already to take control and make your life the way you want it to be.   If you can get clear on how it will feel to live in that castle, your ideal life - really let yourself dream of what would feel amazing to you - it will help you make those small, ordinary decisions which will help you get there.   I’m right here with you - we can do this together.   I’m figuring out how I can live my ideal life and best serve people. I’m still figuring out my kids, my relationships, my weight, my routines, my future - but I know how I want to feel and I know I enjoy sharing the things I’m learning about.   I love sharing this journey with you and I so appreciate the notes and feedback I’m getting. Please keep it coming - it’s really helpful!   Thanks for listening to my story and for supporting this podcast. It means a lot to me.   I’ll catch you in the next season of Style With Intention - bye, bye for now!   BONUS CONTENT Be sure to download this bonus content - we're sharing "5 Simple Phrases" which will help you own your day - and, really, your whole life! These phrases will help you do things like...set limits politely and firmly, ask for what you want without being demanding, and take yourself out of the impossible job of trying to figure out what will make other people happy! When you have the right words to help you say what you want to say, when you need to say it, you have the power to take control and make your life more the way you want it to be! Click HERE to get the bonus content and we’ll send it out right away!     P.S. If you’re new to podcasts, check out our free Podcast Cheat Sheet - it’ll tell you everything you need to know about tuning in, downloading, listening on the go, and sharing podcasts! Click HERE to get your copy!     Header image by Paul Green

  Trying to appear “perfect” might feel safer, but being vulnerable and showing your whole self - and not caring what other people think - will actually draw other people closer to you. It’s true!   Here are the biggest takeaways from this episode: The role of a little bit of “ugly” (i.e. being vulnerable) in genuine attractiveness. (Hint: one doesn’t exist without the other.) The power of vulnerability in establishing connections. How we sometimes confuse authenticity with “ugly” (hey, we’re always our own toughest critic!). My experience with  deciding to show one part of myself that I worried was "ugly" and finding new confidence and ease.   Hey there! Thanks for tuning-in! Today I’m going to share a little secret with you: genuine attractiveness can’t exist without being vulnerable - and showing a little bit of what you might consider to be “ugly.” I’m using the word “ugly” loosely - to indicate all those parts of ourselves that we’d rather hide. You know, the parts you’d rather not have people know about - the parts even you don’t want to look at. They aren’t really ugly - but it may feel that way. It's really just feeling vulnerable. When we’re willing to show people our whole selves - it’s risky. What if we’re rejected? But not showing ourselves may even be riskier. Being vulnerable makes people attractive, because it makes them real. How close do you feel to that friend who never lets her imperfect, “ugly” side show?  I know I’m not clamoring to sit on the couch and pour my heart out (ugly cry and all) to Ms. Perfect, are you? Join me as we dig into the benefits of embracing vulnerability and showing people who we really are (hint: it’s what makes you truly beautiful!). As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good!  Enjoy the show! BONUS CONTENT Today’s bonus content is a checklist of 9 questions you can ask yourself when you’re deciding whether or not to share that part of you that you’ve been hiding...you know, the thing you consider your “little bit of ugly.” I’ve asked myself these very same questions many times (especially when I was deciding whether to let my hair go gray or not!) and I’ve learned new things about myself each time. The answers you give to these questions might surprise you too and will definitely help you think your “little bit of ugly” and maybe see it from a new perspective. Click HERE to get the bonus content and we’ll send it out right away! _____________   If you’d rather read than listen, here's the FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #9 - A LITTLE BIT OF UGLY   Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast, where we talk about how to use your personal style as a tool to create a life you love.   We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really good!   I’m your host, Annie Kip and today we’re talking about something that doesn’t come up very often in my world - of style and interior design - and that is the value of “ugly.”   Yes, it's my job to identify what looks good, what makes people feel amazing, and to help you clarify your unique style - in a nutshell, I'm all about making things look really, really good - but I'm also here to tell you... Genuine attractiveness can’t exist without a little bit of ugly.   I know that might be counter-intuitive, but it’s true. Think about it - who do you feel safest with? The person who thinks you’re perfect -- or the person who knows all of your faults and weaknesses and loves you anyway. How about the girlfriend who only shares the stuff that’s great in her life - never any fights with her spouse, or frustrations with her kids, or problems at work - her life seems pretty perfect. How comfortable so you feel sharing yourself with her?   How close do you feel to someone who never lets their imperfect, “ugly” side show?   Our ugly sides connect us... When you know someone’s weaknesses or faults, you hold the power to hurt them - and when you choose not to use that power to hurt and, instead, you hold that information carefully and tenderly - it bonds us with each other.   Our ugly sides and our imperfections and our mistakes makes us vulnerable to each other.   Whether it is physical “ugliness” in the form of a scar, the embarrassment of making a terrible mistake and having to ask forgiveness, or the gut-wrenching “ugly cry” you only do with people you trust.   Vulnerability makes people attractive, because it makes them real.   Imperfections make celebrities seem more accessible. We can relate to them more. Think of Keira Knightly’s crooked teeth, or Harrison Ford’s scarred chin, or the singer, Seal’s, facial scarring. Each of these people is widely considered immensely attractive. If they looked different, they wouldn’t be the same. These “imperfections” make them who they are to us. Their imperfections give them humanity. It makes them seem a little more vulnerable. There’s something so endearing about seeing this very human quality in a public figure - it makes them more real and we love them for it.   Sure, there are the drop-dead gorgeous movie stars, who seem absolutely perfect, but aren’t we always looking for their humanity? Some chink in the armor? There are whole TV shows and magazines devoted to catching celebrities looking fat in a bathing suit, making an awkward face, or being caught with their pants down somehow.   The lesson is that we shouldn’t be afraid of appearing imperfect. We should embrace it. Our personal style choices should reflect who we really are. What really makes us feel good inside.   There’s no sense in trying to guess what the rest of the world is going to find acceptable - so just pick what works for you. Listen to the unique “whispers” - those messages you get from your brain which tell you what sparks your good feelings, what choices will bring you to a higher emotional state.   Yes, it’s counter-intuitive - that making personal style choices without caring what other people think, will actually draw you closer to other people - but it’s true. When you show who you really are with your personal style, it gives people something to grab onto and relate to.   Recently, I’ve decided to let my hair grow out gray and not dye my hair to keep it all brown. It’s been a surprisingly vulnerable choice. I’m showing who I really am - a 52 year old woman who is aging. It helped me to make this decision when I mentioned to my son and told him that I didn’t want to look old - and he said, but you are old, mom. He didn’t mean it in an unkind way - it was factual for him. It was the truth.   My hair is turning gray - and it stressed me out more to try to keep it brown, and felt more out of alignment with what I believe in - than letting the gray show.  All style choices aren’t easy or comfortable. This one has taken me a little getting used to - but I feel more and more comfortable with my choice and I definitely feel more in alignment.   The beau has been really sweet with me about this  (even though I've felt very vulnerable!) and encourages me to do what feels right to me. I still want to feel attractive and pretty and he still holds onto that for me, letting me know that he actually likes my hair and the fact that I’m letting my hair go gray. He likes my hair and also, finds that willingness to go against the norm and do what feels right for me - attractive as well.   Whether you are someone’s spouse, their parent, or their friend - to be closer, you’re going to have to show yourself - be vulnerable - particularly, that side of yourself you might rather hide and not consider your best parts - you have to do this to really connect.   Our vulnerability connects us. It brings us closer and makes us feel each other’s humanity. We can all relate to feeling vulnerable. Everyone has felt that way at one time or another. Those closest to us are the ones who have earned the honor of seeing us at our worst moments and they get to see that side of us more often.   You will only find out who really holds you and your “ugly” parts tenderly, by sharing those parts of yourself a little bit and then a little bit more. Don’t be afraid of what makes you unique or different - or even ugly - make the choices that light you up, be unafraid of judgement, because those choices may be just the thing that we need to see to know who you really are.   It’s so much better to be interesting than safe. Use what makes you unique as an advantage. Think of it differently - think of your style choices as an asset and a tool for showing the world who you really are. Today’s bonus content is a checklist of 9 questions you can ask yourself when you’re deciding whether or not to share that part of you that you’ve been hiding...you know, the thing you consider “ugly.” I’ve asked myself these very same questions many times (especially when I was deciding whether to let my hair go gray or not!) and I’ve learned new things about myself each time. The answers you give to these questions might surprise you too and will definitely help you think about whether to share your “little bit of ugly” and maybe see it from a new perspective. Click HERE to get the bonus content and we’ll send it out right away! _____________ P.S. If you’re new to podcasts, check out our free Podcast Cheat Sheet - it’ll tell you everything you need to know about tuning in, downloading, listening on the go, and sharing podcasts! Click HERE to get your copy!  

  Your personal style is reflected in all the ways you present yourself - including your interactions with others. You can choose how you want to be known and the legacy you create - by first deciding how you want to feel inside.   Here are the biggest takeaways from this episode: Why intentionally creating positive interactions isn’t only nice for the people around you. (Hint: there are major perks for you too.) How to intentionally choose what you put out into the world. How not making a choice is a choice in itself. I’ll give you some pointers on how to project out into the world what you want to take in. (Hint: you have way more control than you think.)   Hey there! I’m so glad you are tuning in!   Today we’re going to be talking about how to intentionally create positive interpersonal interactions.  We all remember our parents and teachers saying, “treat others how you want to be treated” -- well, I think they were on to something! The hundreds of ordinary, small personal style choices you make each day can actually shape the way you feel and help you put out into the world what you want to get back. Join me as we dive deeper into ways to put a little more positive energy into your every day. As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good! Enjoy the show! BONUS CONTENT This week's free bonus content is a low-pressure, all upside 30 day challenge! It's called "The 100 Acts Of Kindness Challenge" and when you sign up, I’ll send you 30 days worth of ideas and inspiration for acts of kindness you can do anytime, anywhere - with friends, family, and even strangers! - so you can put out and bring in a little more positive energy each day! Click HERE to get started now or just text the word 100ACTS to 44-222 and we’ll send it out right away! ________   If you'd rather read than listen, here's the FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #9  HOW TO INTENTIONALLY CREATE   POSITIVE PERSONAL INTERACTIONS   Welcome to Style With Intention - where we talk about how to use your personal style as a tool to create a life you love.We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy look really, really good!   I’m your host, Annie Kip, and today we’re talking about the value of intentionally creating positive interactions and experiences for yourself and for other people.   And I just want to admit up front -  I’m not talking about this for the purely altruistic reasons you might expect. I want to talk about creating positive interactions for selfish reasons. Let’s start from there, since you are much more likely to do something if you can see how it will benefit you -- but rest assured that the good you will put out into the world will benefit everyone else as well. You probably know people who just make you feel good when you’re around them. This goes way beyond whatever they’re wearing and how the decorate their home or office. It’s the way they make you feel.   When I first met the teachers at my son’s new school, there was one that struck me. At first, she didn’t seem like someone that I normally would be drawn to - I didn’t think she would be interested in me either - but there was something special about her that was special. She had a funky, casual style, that I admired, but the thing that really struck me was her “vibe” - for lack of a better word. Talking with her for the first time, it was as if she presumed friendship and familiarity - in a really nice way. There was no formality and none of that careful, "guardedness" a lot of people have when you first meet them. She was just warm and friendly and open, right from the start.   She’s become one of my favorite people. It just feels good to be in her presence and she makes you feel good about yourself when you talk with her.   Then I realized the other day that it also probably feels good to BE her.   She’s putting whatever she’s feeling inside back out into the world. And it’s coming right back at her in the form of the positive interactions she’s having with people like me.   Your interactions start from how you feel inside and they result in what shows on the outside. You just don’t get to be someone who makes other people feel genuinely good draws positive experiences and opportunities to you - if you feel bad, closed, and down inside. So it’s super important to figure out what makes you feel good inside and what makes you feel “meh” or even “ick”   When you’re listening to the “whispers” - those subtle signals that you get from your brain which tell you what lights you up and what feels good and what doesn’t - personal style choices around interactions are grooving well, it’s like an endless circle of feeling good inside and sharing that goodness out with people on the outside, and getting positive feedback that just makes you feel more good on the inside - and so on.   Sure, you’re going to have to deal with difficult people - and some of the things we’re going to talk about today will help with that - but today, we’re talking about how to create good interactions out of nothing.   We’re going to start from neutral, because I want you to see that you always have some amount of influence in the way your interactions go.   You may not always be aware of it, but you’re always making a choice about what you put out into the world - because not making a choice is a choice nonetheless. For instance, Maybe you’ve heard of “RBF” - resting bitch face, pardon my language, but I think this is hilarious - because sometimes people do have a scowl on their face when they are lost in thought. It’s worth trying to notice if you have an RBT - because it’s a choice. You probably aren’t thinking too hard about how you come across, unless you’re sort of neurotic like I am.   Many of the simple, ordinary choices you make and the things you do all day - they just are a part of you - but you can shape them by choosing how you want to feel inside first.   I don’t think someone with RBF is thinking positive, happy thoughts inside. And if she is, the way she looks is out of alignment with how she feels and that’s not good. She will get reactions that don’t match what she thinks she is putting out there.   Your personal style shows in the look you wear on your face, whether it’s conscious or unconscious - as well as your demeanor, your attitude, and the vibe people feel when they’re around you.  It’s how you do or don’t engage and invite people into your personal space. It’s how you make people feel in your presence. It’s how you are there for a friend and how you engage with people - and even strangers - you come across throughout your day.   Here’s an example of how your choices can make a lasting impression - this story is about a friend from my childhood. She was actually the mom of one of my best friends and she was sort of like a mom to me too.   When I think of Martha, I think of someone who never had a bad thing to say about anyone. She always seemed “up” and happy to see me. If there was ever negative talk about something, she would just laugh and move the conversation to more positive topics. She was so easy to be around and you always felt loved and accepted in her presence.   I can’t really remember anything she wore back then or what her house was like - but I know how good it felt to be around her. She’s probably in her 70’s now, but Martha is still the same beautiful person - inside and out - that she was back when I was a kid. Who she is inside, just shines through on the outside and it’s delightful.   Your personal style is reflected in all the ways you present yourself and show up in the world - and the way people know you and what they’ve come to expect from you. You can choose how you want to be known and the legacy you create, like Martha who did it probably unconsciously, - by deciding how you want to feel inside.   The way you feel inside comes across - consciously and unconsciously - in everything you do - even how your face looks when you’re lost in thought (like the RBF) - but it has to start from the inside. Your feelings are what will drive your interactions.   We know your emotional state can be affected by a lot of outside circumstances - so what you choose to wear, how you set up your home or office, and how you choose to spend your time – your attitude, what you talk about, the way you take care of yourself, the way you navigate your relationships, and the way you work and play are all factors. The 100’s of ordinary personal style choices you make result in the feelings you experience.   Only you know what will make you feel good or bring you down. You can learn more about the “whispers” of information that I think are so important to developing your own personal style by going back and listening to episode 2. Essentially, I believe that everyone has within them the info they need to make choices which make them feel amazing - and if you’re not living a life that makes you feel amazing, you may be missing the “whispers” which are telling you what would make you happier.   Today, for instance, I was getting ready to go to a meeting where I had to get up in front of the group and give a presentation. A small presentation, but still, I get really nervous. I first reached for my sensible black pants and basic black flats and was looking for a safe sweater to wear -- when I realized that this outfit was NOT making me feel good. I needed something else. I needed a spark and I took a second to listen to the “whispers” as I have learned to do over time -- and ended up in some heels that I rarely wear because they’re a little edgy, some boyfriend jeans, a white silk shirt and beautiful pendant necklace. I also wore my hair a little curlier than usual.   I used to stick with safe and possibly a little boring when I felt nervous - but I’ve realized that a little edge and heels, definitely make me feel more confident. And it did make me feel great when I gave my presentation and talked to people afterward. I felt “on” and sharp and more like the confident version of myself that I needed to be today. This is the value of listening to your whispers - higher quality feelings, resulting in higher quality interactions.   When you intentionally make personal style choices - in the clothes you wear, the things you have in your home or office, and the way you interact - that lift your spirits and cultivate good feelings - you are able to create the experiences which add up to a life you love. One of the fastest ways I know of to start feeling good is to be kind to other people. Really go out of your way to make someone else happy.   It helps you get out of your own way, shows you the affect your choices can have on other people. It’s also the best way I know to get out of a funk or cheer up when you’re feeling blue.  You can always choose to be kind - no matter what. And even if you choose to do it for selfish reasons - to make yourself feel better - it’s going to make the people around you feel good too!   I’ve created a 30 day Kindness Challenge that I’d like you to try. It’s low-pressure and all upside - no matter how you do it. When you sign up, I’ll send you 30 days of ideas for acts of kindness you can do anytime, anywhere.  Take what you want and use the ones that are best for you. We’ve gotten really great feedback from people who say it made them feel really good to bring their focus onto being a little more kind everyday. You don’t have to get a new wardrobe or redecorate your house to feel the way you want to feel. This is free and available to you anytime, anywhere! You can use being kind as a jump start to taking charge of your personal style. It’s an easy way of creating the experiences you want to have in your life! Start putting out into the world, the goodness you want to feel - and it will come back to you.   You can affect the quality of your life, have more of the good experiences you want to have, attract the people and opportunities you want into your life, and create better connections with the people you care about - by intentionally reaching for higher level, happier emotions.   This doesn’t have to be super complicated. It isn’t a ton of work and there aren’t strict rules. You don’t even have to do years of therapy to get there.   All of the small, ordinary choices you make every day can have a huge impact - this is the power of having Style With Intention. You can get started right away, by just texting “100ACTS” - that’s 1-0-0-a-c-t-s - to the number 44-222 -- and we’ll get you going right away! You can also find a link to the "100 Acts Of Kindness Challenge" in the show notes for episode 8, over on our podcast website - www.stylewithintentention.com.   Thanks for listening today and until next time, keep using your style to give you the experiences you want to have! Bye, bye for now!   P.S. If you're new to podcasts, check out our Podcast Cheat Sheet - it's tell you everything you need to know about finding, downloading, listening on the go, and sharing podcasts. Click HERE to get it!   Header image by: Ornella Binni      

  Whatever makes you feel good is what you should reach for, when it comes to your personal style choices. Even a difficult time can be made better if you find a way to raise your emotional state with your style choices.   Here are the biggest takeaways from this episode: The power you have over your experiences and emotions when you decide how you want to feel about the changes in your life. The importance of truly getting to know your own preferences (i.e. what makes you happy or puts you at ease). How self-knowledge can help create stability in your life. Some personal examples of how living a life of "style and intention" has helped me get through some difficult times.   Hey there! Thank you for stopping by today! In the past few episodes of this season, we've been circling around the concept of how our emotions are inextricably linked with the experiences we have in life - but sometimes the world can throw us curve balls - I know I’ve dodged my fair share! In the toughest of times, deciding how I want to feel about the changes in my life has been very empowering. What if I told you that you could use your personal style to help you manage your feelings and sustain you during difficult times?  Well, I’m here to tell you that you can  - and this goes way beyond the old adage, “when you look good, you feel good.” This episode is really about the strength you get from truly knowing yourself - I hope you enjoy it! As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good!   Enjoy the show! BONUS CONTENT If' you're looking for a way to take back a little control in your life, you might want to check out our bonus content, "Own Your Day (and Your Life!) With These 5 Simple Phrases"! These simple phrases can help you set limits firmly and politely, speak up for what you want without being demanding, and even take yourself out of the impossible job of trying to figure out what will make other people happy. These are all skills which can help make difficult times a little easier! Click HERE to get the bonus content and we'll send it out right away!   ___________   In case you'd rather read than listen, here's the FULL TRANSCRIPT EPISODE #7 GETTING THROUGH DIFFICULT TIMES WITH STYLE   Welcome to Style With Intention - I’m Annie Kip and today we are talking about Getting Through Difficult Times and how intentionally making choices that feel good can help with that!   I’ve come to really appreciate how important style choices have been in my life and how knowing what lifts me up has helped me get through tough times.   I’ve been through plenty of changes in my own life - marriages, moving, national disasters. Each time, deciding how I want to feel and then defining my personal style around that feeling has helped me get through it.   I’ve always had a core to my style, but each time my life has changed, I’ve had to go back and think about how I want to feel and how I want to live in this next phase of my life. When I think about how I want to feel, I take into consideration where I am in my life, figure out where I can and cannot change things, and then decide what choices I can make. Even in tough times, deciding how I want to feel about the changes has been very empowering.   One of the big changes in my life happened in September 2001. We were living in downtown NYC and on 9/11 our life changed dramatically - my family and I were evacuated that day and we ended up living in a rental house in Gloucester, MA for 3 months, while we decided what to do next. It was incredibly scary and disorienting -but we were lucky, we didn’t lose anyone. We left NYC that day without anything but the clothes on our backs, a few extra diapers, and some boxes of raisins for the kids.   We didn’t have any of our familiar things for the whole time we were in Gloucester - so that was a time in my life when I decided to make  my personal style - minimalism. I decided to embrace it and just live a simple life for as long as we were there. I had three little kids under 4 years old and we spent our days making things and building odd sculptures out of the debris we found washed up on the beach. Lobster traps, pieces of rope, driftwood, cans and bottles - we stacked them and propped them up decorated them with seaweed.   One day, we realized that other people were adding what they found to the sculptures we were making and it was fun thing to go down to the beach each day and see what people had done and added. We never met any of the people who had added to our sculptures, but it felt sort of nice to be connected to people in this way. We were sort of isolated up in Gloucester, away from our home and friends in NYC.   When you know yourself, you can pivot and adapt. You can make sure you have the basics you need to feel good and then let go of what doesn’t really matter.   I know I like simple things, solid colors, and fabrics that feel good on my skin.   We had nice cotton sheets in this rental house, they were patterned, but that was okay because felt great to get into bed each night. I know the outfits that make me feel best are the ones I don’t have to think about once I’m wearing them - and during this time, I happily wore my hair in ponytail with denim overalls and a white t-shirt almost everyday. my purse was a well-organized satchel full of snack and diapers. I found a beautiful mug to drink my coffee in each morning. I like simplicity in design and complexity of thought - and this time in my life was filled with that kind of thing, living in this simple beach house, trying to make sense of our lives and figuring out what to do next.   There’s definitely no right or wrong here and you’re always free to pivot and change your mind! - We lived a simple life there in Gloucester,  but I remember deciding I needed a really good haircut at one point and I got that for myself, because it was what I needed to feel good. My hair promptly went back into a ponytail, but I did feel better getting it cut!   Whatever makes you feel good is what you should reach for, when it comes to your personal style choices. Even a difficult time can be made better if you find a way to raise your emotional state with your style choices - from despair to anything you can feel good about. Focusing on the good parts, amplifying the happy moments, and appreciating anything you can find to be grateful for.   As awful as 9/11 was, we made this a special time for our family. It felt good to be together there. It was unexpected and hard in many ways, but making choices to feel good where we could made it easier.   Style With Intention is a constant process of assessing how we feel, deciding how we want to feel, and making adjustments to get to a higher emotional state. The good feeling can come from the way things look, or the environment we spend time in, or the quality of our relationships.   You know what matters the most to you at any given time in your life and the style choices you make to elevate your emotional state, will be different depending on your situation. Just keeping your focus on making choices that will make you feel good inside everyday will make even the most difficult times feel a little easier.   Thanks for listening to my story and I’ll speak with you again soon!     BONUS CONTENT If' you're looking for a way to take back a little control in your life, you might want to check out our bonus content, "Own Your Day (and Your Life!) With These 5 Simple Phrases" ! These simple phrases can help you set limits firmly and politely, speak up for what you want without being demanding, and even take yourself out of the impossible job of trying to figure out what will make other people happy. These are all skills which can help make difficult times a little easier! Click HERE to get the bonus content and we'll send it out right away!     P.S. Remember, if you’re new to listening to podcasts, check out the free Podcast Cheat Sheet - it'll give you everything you need to know about finding, downloading, listening on the go, and sharing podcasts. Click HERE to get it!   Header image by: Gary DeMaria

  We all seem to complain about not getting good sleep. By the end of the day, we’re tired, achy, worn out and just need to rest - but we can't sleep. Here are some ideas to help! Here are the biggest takeaways from this episode: Why sleep is EXTREMELY important to your happiness What happens if you don't get the sleep your body desperately needs The most important questions to ask yourself if you want a good night of sleep. My personal tips to help you find more restful nights (Spoiler Alert: you have to stop fighting and "make friends" with sleep).   Hey there! Thanks for listening today!  Today’s topic is something many people struggle with but it's vital to happiness - SLEEP.   It’s such a simple thing and something that I've struggled with in recent years. I know a lot of my friends are frustrated with not sleeping well too!  I know we have a lot more on our minds now than ever before, not to mention changing hormones, new jobs, etc. - so getting good sleep can make a big difference in our lives! There is no way around it. If you’re tired of not getting enough good, solid sleep, then I have some ideas that will be very interesting to you.  Download today’s bonus material by clicking below and you’ll be snoozing before you know it! In the Luxurious Sleep Guide I share my personal tips to help you find your way back to restful, REM-filled nights.  This guide also provides some tools to help you set yourself up for a successful night of deep, luxurious sleep! I recommend you download it right now and use it to follow along as you listen to the episode. As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good!   Enjoy the show! BONUS CONTENT  This week's bonus content is EPIC! We've pulled together all of our best tips and tricks for getting to sleep - and staying asleep! - into one handy package: The Luxurious Sleep Guide. There are so many ideas, resources, and techniques to help with sleep, that you're sure to find solutions to your biggest sleep frustrations. Download it now, so you'll have it the next time you're looking for some reading material in the middle of the night - you'll be glad you did! Wishing you sweet dreams! You can get the guide by clicking HERE and we’ll send it out right away! _________ LINKS MENTIONED IN EPISODE #6 https://www.tuck.com/thermoregulation/https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-13952/why-everyone-should-try-an-epsom-salt-bath.html https://www.webmd.com/vitamins-supplements/ingredientmono-871-passionflower.aspx?activeingredientid=871 http://www.thealternativedaily.com/reasons-to-put-essential-oils-on-feet/ http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_drift/2015/11/30/does_sleepytime_tea_actually_help_you_fall_asleep.html   P.S. Remember, if you’re new to listening to podcasts, check out the free Podcast Cheat Sheet for everything you need to know about finding, downloading, listening on the go, and sharing podcasts. Click HERE to get it!   _________   In case you'd rather read than listen, here's the FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #6 - HOW TO GET THE GOOD SLEEP YOU NEED Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast, where we talk about how to use your personal style as a tool to create a life you love.   We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really, good!   Welcome to the show! I’m your host, Annie Kip and today we’re talking about sleep - because if you don’t get good sleep, the quality of your life is going to be compromised. Period.   This is a subject that has comes up again and again whenever I talk with people. SLEEP! It’s a simple thing that makes a big difference in our lives - and is really frustrating when it doesn’t come to us as easily as it used to.   If you’re tired of not getting enough good, solid sleep, then I have some ideas that will be very interesting to you. And the freebie I created for this episode is really worth getting - you might even want to download it and look at it while you’re listening today, so I’m telling you about it right now. Even if you don’t look at it right now, download it so you will have it when you’re ready. A lot of people I know complain about not being able to sleep. Especially people who are in midlife, we have a lot on their minds, changing hormones, busy lives, and not enough time for everything that matters to us.   By the end of the day, we’re tired, achy, worn out from doing hard things - like dealing with teenagers and aging parents and jobs we may or may not like - and adapting to new technology on our phones and in our cars.   I know I’m not the only one who puts off those new iPhone updates. Sometimes, I feel like I just can’t handle another change and everything that could go wrong if it doesn’t go smoothly.   Maybe you’re better at this stuff than I am, but it’s a lot for my middle-aged brain to take in. On top of all the regular ups and downs that we deal with everyday.   By the end of the day the one thing I want to do is to rest and escape - but, like many of you, when I finally get to bed and lie down to sleep, I found I couldn’t. And when I did fall asleep, from sheer exhaustion, I was awake in the middle of the night.   I was starting to wonder if a solid night of sleep was a luxury only kids got to have.   So many people tell me they have the same problems I do:   Can’t fall asleep Can’t stay asleep Worrying or thinking circular thoughts all night Waking up too early and watching to sun come up wondering why I can’t just sleep   Then we’re exhausted all day, thinking about why we can’t sleep, talking about not sleeping - and dreading having to do it all over again.   Whether you need a lot of sleep or not very much sleep, you want those hours to count - to be restful and restorative.   You want to look and feel fresh and rested - without those dark circles under your eyes all day You want a break between busy days - not busy days as well as busy nights full of worrying and thinking   Maybe you’ve tried sleep medicine, like I have. I hate the idea of being knocked out, and it didn’t always work for me all night anyway. I didn’t always feel great the next day either. So, what happens if we just keep on doing what we've always done, hoping for better sleep every night and not getting it? Well, it’s not just highly frustrating, but it affects the bigger picture as well -   Sleep supports your Brain function - during deep sleep, new pathways to learn and remember new info - which is super important for those of us trying to learn and keep up with new technology.   Sleep also helps to moderate moods and emotion - which we know can get a little wonky at midlife.   And while you sleep, your body does it’s healing and repair  -- specifically your heart and blood vessels, your blood sugar regulation, your immune system functioning, and your cellular repair - which, my friends, is the difference between having more or fewer new wrinkles!   If you don’t get good sleep, your health and your ability to think are going to be compromised - and you’re going to age faster.   But you know what the kicker was for me? Weight gain related to sleep deprivation - I read an article, which I will link to in the show notes that said when you don’t get good sleep, your hormones become wildly dysregulated - which gives you higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol and increases your appetite and gives you cravings, even if you’re not hungry:   Hormones that control metabolism get out of whack   You get more of that hormone that tells you when to eat and less of the hormone that tells you when to stop eating - which means we’re eating more often and not stopping eating.   So all this midlife weight gain, might be related to our sleep problems!   You can check out the research I did for this episode by going to the website - www.stylewithintentionpodcast.com and get the links. While you’re there, be sure to download the freebie I made for this episode - The Luxurious Sleep Guide. It’s full of tips and guidance for figuring out what you need for better sleep and a bunch of the resources I use to get a good night of sleep.   The bottom line is that sleep matters - now more than ever.   Feeling overwhelmed  AND foggy and not looking your best can really affect your self-esteem, which can damage your ability to stand up for yourself, get ahead at your job, and intentionally create the happy life you want to live.   This is a time in your life of change - relationships, jobs - you need to be able to think   Your kids might be difficult - teens think they’re adults and college kids come home trying to live like their still at college   Our parents need help - sometimes they’re far away and difficult to manage, it’s a lot of work taking care of things   Not to mention - at least for people my age, midlife time of new beginnings - Maybe you need to think about what’s next for you?   It’s really important to decide what you want for yourself, so you don’t just drift along and find yourself unhappy with where you end up   When you get good sleep, fresh ideas pop up more easily - new solutions come to you - you can see what can be delegate, eliminate more clearly, and you feel less overwhelmed   You’re more easy-going, flexible, open   You have a clear head for making good decisions   It’s also easier to take care of yourself - because it’s easier to find the self-discipline and motivation to eat well, exercise, and manage your health.   Sleep gives us the basic energy we need to deal with everyday life.   When I took a look at how not sleeping was affecting my life and how all of this fits together, I caught a glimpse of where this was taking me:   I saw a stereotype of middle-aged women - spacey, out of it, confused, forgetful, and looking tired and a bit run down.   I saw myself shying away from new things. I saw my new projects, never getting off the ground - I saw myself staying the same and being stuck. I saw that my personal work was put on the back burner - not having the energy to be self-reflective, not growing, not having new ideas and new experiences.   I saw how I was feeling disempowered - I was a little grumpy and resentful - and I was feeling irrelevant.   Does this bring to mind a picture of an old hag for you?   That’s what I saw in the mirror!   That is the opposite of what I want. No one wants that.   I wanted to be the chic gray-haired lady doing interesting things who is interested in life and ready for new adventure. I don’t need to look young and I’m okay with my gray hair, but I want to look and feel lively and be filled with passion and purpose.   If bad sleep was keeping me from having that - then, dang it, I was going to get the sleep I needed.   If this sounds like where you are too, having tried the frustrating, futile, “I really hope I can finally sleep tonight” method, then I would like to share some ideas that worked for me.   Having Style With Intention is all about using your choices to help you live the life you want to live - which means you set up your life and make choices which will help you feel the way you want to feel, so you can have the experiences you want to have.   We can apply this to getting a good night of sleep.   In its most basic sense, this is how it works: when your genuine emotions match what you want, it becomes your reality.   For instance, for get about sleep for a minute and think about how it feels when you really want something else - for instance, when you were dating. You really wanted to find a partner, hoping it’s a soul mate, stressing about what to wear, thinking about what someone might like about you, going out when just to meet someone, wishing and hoping and praying it will happen.   Your Emotions are invested heavily in the wanting and longing for it - and the hope of being happy when you have it. Longing for something will never get you there - it will only keep you in longing   When you’ve given up the frantic dating and finally just happy with yourself, you find that you’re content with being on your own and you’re genuinely happy with your life, just as it is - that’s when your emotions are a match for finding love - and someone special finally comes along.   The same thing sometimes happens to people when they stress about getting pregnant. As soon as they stop trying, and they’re happy just as a couple, they often conceive.   So the stress you’re feeling about getting sleep and the act of focusing on your frustration, is actually putting you in a state of mind that is the opposite of the calm, peaceful emotions of actually sleeping well.   We have much of this same anxiety around sleep:   we worry about it whether we’re going to get sleep tonight   we stress over what we’re eating in case it might affect our sleep   we try to go to bed early or later   we think about sleep   we talk about our sleep problems with each other   Our focus and feelings are more invested in the hoping sleep will come and the reality of NOT sleeping.   You need to find a way to make friends with what you want - sleep. Let go of the fight.   Make it something that you are excited about   Transform it into something you get to do - not something we dread   Look forward to it with all your heart - but not be anxious about it   Be happy and peaceful and confident - ready for sleep, not thinking about it too hard   That’s when your emotions are a match for sleep - when you let of of the longing for it.   In order to get into this state of happy and peaceful and readiness for sleep, you need to do some preparation ahead of time. I’m going to walk you through the most important question you can ask yourself to get yourself closer to getting a good night of sleep, as well as some follow up questions which will help you identify the details that matter to you.   This will be different for everyone and you will have to experiment and find the combination of circumstances that work best for you.   We’ve created a freebie for this episode, because we can barely fit in everything we want to say here - called THE LUXURIOUS SLEEP GUIDE. It includes many of the things I am going to share with you now plus more, as well as the resources for where to find the things I mention, and some other ideas that you may not have heard of. As always, my life’s one big construction zone - but I’m happy to share what’s working for me in case it might be of use to you.   YOU CAN DO this RIGHT NOW   This is what having “Style With Intention” is all about - making the ordinary style choices which will allow you to have the experience you want to have - in this case, a good night of sleep.   Take the following question and the 3 follow up questions and start making small changes.   You can use your waking hours to think, prepare, and set the stage so you can bring your choices into alignment with the reality of getting a good night’s sleep. This will help you feel how it feels now, in your bones, so you will be an emotional match to a good night of sleep   You will teach your body and brain the experience of falling into a solid, deep sleep, so it will let go of the longing and begin to expect and look forward to good sleep   Start with this question: How Do You Feel When You Are Falling Into A Heavy, Solid Sleep?   I don’t want you to answer with words yet - I want you to feel it - in your bones.   Get deep into the feeling of what it feels like - not what you want or how it is right now when you try to sleep - just conjure up how it really feels when it happens easily and effortlessly.   Feel the relief and peace of drifting off into a solid night of sleep   Let that feeling expand and grow and feel all the details if you can - the way it looks, the way it smells, the way it sounds, the way it looks and feels   The more details the better - use all of your senses   If you have trouble with this, it might help to imagine yourself as a child, at a time when you sleep easily   For example, I know I love cool, crisp sheets. I love the feeling of a fluffy, squishy comforter, but also the weight of a coverlet on me. I love the feeling of cool air in the room, when I am snuggled into the warm covers. I like total darkness and quiet. I love how heavy my body feels when I finally lie down.   Once you’ve painted a really detailed picture for yourself,  We need to figure out what you need to get that feeling.   Think through all the details and decide which choices will support what you want to feel.     Start with your perfect sleeping bed and bedroom - How does that feel?   Hot or cold? Sheets? De you prefer Cool? warm? Pillows hard or soft? Cover weight? Dark or light? cCock? Does the light catch your eye through your eyelids? Door closed?   For instance, I don’t have a clock in my room, which the beau thinks is really weird - but I don’t want to stress about the time when I wake up in the night - I know my alarm will make me up when it’s time to get up and it’s not my job to think about the time until then.   Think about what you do during the day that supports or doesn’t support the way you want to feel going to sleep? Do you exercise during the day? Does that get you more revved up or calmed down? Early or late? What kind of exercise feels best? Eating - how does the food you eat make you feel and when does it feel best to stop eating before bed Drinking alcohol - which is widely known to disrupt sleep   I really wanted to deny it, but I found that wine was disrupting my sleep, so I’ve really cut back on it. I’m not perfect with this - and every so often, I have some and almost always regret it. I’ve had to come to terms with choosing what’s more important to me. Even if I’m not hungover, I don’t get good sleep and I don’t feel the way I want to feel the day after I have wine, so I am doing without it more often than not.   I also make my bed first thing in the morning - because I really love the feeling of getting into a clean, crisp, made bed at night.   What about during the evening? How do you end your workday and plan for the next day so you can leave with a clear head? How about television/computer time?  Studies show that the blue light from the screens disrupts sleep and people get better sleep when they have turned off their screens an hour before bed Phone calls? Is there a time when you no longer take calls? Do you need alone time? How do you catch up with your partner?   I have to admit, I am terrible at the whole “stopping work” at the end of the day thing - I’m often at my desk long after dark. I like what I do and I’m always trying to sneak in more time getting stuff done. My nightly bedtime routine helps a lot to counterbalance this bad habit. If you want to learn more about how to set up routines that “bookend” your day and learn what I do specifically, it’s all on episode #5.   As I mentioned just now and in Episode 5, I find that it really helps to have a bedtime routine that moves you from the day into time for sleeping. When I skip it, I really can tell the difference. I take my sleepy tea into the living room, light a candle, and I often journal or just quiet reflection and meditation. I also take a hot bath right before bed - because I love the feeling of being warm and getting into cool sheets. This is my favorite.   Be very intentional about your choices and your routine.   Routines are a big part of getting into this emotional alignment - routines allow you to take the thought out of it and just feel the way you want to feel. Which is how you want sleeping to be - effortless and easy.   Think about it now, ahead of time, during the day - to set up your bed, your bedroom, and your day to create the circumstances which will help you get into alignment with a good night of sleep.   Honor what you need and make everything ready for when bedtime comes, so you don’t have to think about it.   This is the art of using your style choices with intention - making lots of ordinary choices to set up your reality so can feel the way you want to feel, and then so you can have the experience you want to have.   And remember, this is a process. Our whole lives are a series of having the experiences we want to have, and then having experiences we don’t want to have - and then making adjustments so we can get back to having the experiences we want to have.   Don’t stress when it doesn’t work perfectly, it won’t work perfectly at first - just begin to set up your systems.   You can add things or take away things after you have a chance to see if they feel right to you.   If you aren’t getting the results you want, you can make adjustments. Go back to the questions and conjure up the feeling you want to have - and decide to try a few things that make sense to you for a week or two - and then don’t put a lot more thought into it.   This is not meant to be something you put effort and thought into everyday. Give it some time and try to relax. I’m still working on consistency for my own perfect sleep - but I’ve had enough success with this - nights of really solid, restful sleep and waking up refreshed and bright, to be able to relax a little and trust that I am on the right path. Give yourself some grace as you learn what you need.   Don’t think or wonder about whether sleep will or won’t happen and avoid talking about how hard it is to sleep - rather focus on all of the delicious sensory experiences that you have identified as your perfect sleep situation. Really enjoy them. Anticipate how good they will feel. Amplify the goodness and soak it in, so that you feel it, even before bedtime comes.   Style With Intention gives you the power to make things happen for yourself. It’s a whole new way to think about self-determination. You can make this happen. You don’t have to hope and long for what you want - you’re in charge of yourself and can have the experiences you want to have.   Download The Luxurious Sleep Guide to get a whole list of questions to ask yourself, so you can figure out your optimal circumstances for falling into a deep, delicious asleep. You will also get a list of resources and my favorite tools to help you get deep into the feeling of luxurious sleep, so you create the experience of your own perfect sleep.   Thanks for listening today!   Be sure you’re subscribed to the podcast so you don’t miss an episode - and if you think this sleep info would be helpful for a friend, go ahead and share this with them on Facebook  or Instagram by clicking the link on the site, or directly right now, by clicking on the share button right there on your iPhone - it’s those three little dots you see in the bottom right corner. When you share or give us friendly review on iTune, it helps boost our ranking and it’s just nice of you to share this great info with your friends!   Thanks for listening and until next week, keep on making your life look the way you want it to feel! BONUS CONTENT  This week's bonus content is EPIC! We've pulled together all of our best tips and tricks for getting to sleep - and staying asleep! - into one handy package: The Luxurious Sleep Guide. There are so many ideas, resources, and techniques to help with sleep, that you're sure to find solutions to your biggest sleep frustrations. Download it now, so you'll have it the next time you're looking for some reading material in the middle of the night - you'll be glad you did! Wishing you sweet dreams! You can get the guide by clicking HERE and we’ll send it out right away!     P.S. Remember, if you’re new to listening to podcasts, check out the free Podcast Cheat Sheet for everything you need to know about finding, downloading, listening on the go, and sharing podcasts. Click HERE to get it!   Header image by: Hs Lee

  There have been the obvious benefits of adding bookend routines to my days - I'm actually doing what I want to do for myself! But, in addition to these things, I've experienced three specific benefits that have been a really pleasant surprise!   Here are the biggest takeaways from this episode: How bookend routines can help you get done the things that matter to you! 3 specific benefits from bookend routines that I didn't expect. How feeling out of alignment is maybe a message you need to hear. Some morning and evening bookend routines you might want to add into your own life.   Hey there! Today we're going to talk about something that will help you sleep better, become more productive, and feel more at ease throughout your day.  What is this miraculous secret?  It’s the simple act of creating bookend routines.   While the thought of having to stick to a routine usually makes me feel restricted -- but the bookends I've set up for myself have actually been a great tool in my life. They've helped me carve out  space in my daily life to make sure that I get the things that really matter to me done -- rather than only getting the things done that happen to grab my attention in the moment. Does this sound good to you? Do you need a little inspiration?   You can check out my "7-Step Bookend Routines For Morning and Evening" to get started. These are my personal routines which you can use or tweak to suit your schedule. The beginning and end of your day set the rhythms of your daily life.  These are the times of day when we have the most control of our time. Do yourself a favor and put a little structure into your morning and evening to get the most out of them! As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good!   Enjoy the show!   If you'd like to find a little more time and space to feel better and fit in the things that matter to you - this bonus content is perfect for you! You can see the "7-Step Bookend Routines For Morning and Evening" that I've been working with and then create your own bookend routines which will work well for you. Taking back your days can be as simple as bookending your morning and evening routines! You can click HERE to download and we’ll send it out right away!   Links mentioned in Episode #4 http://health.usnews.com/health-news/blogs/eat-run/2013/12/17/take-aspirin-at-night-to-reap-its-health-and-beauty-benefits http://www.thealternativedaily.com/reasons-to-put-essential-oils-on-feet/ http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/04/19/healthiest.sleep.position/index.html http://www.bonappetit.com/story/best-sleepytime-tea-brands http://www.omvana.com/meditations/six-phases-meditation-by-vishen-lakhiani     In case you'd rather read than listen, here's the FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #4 - HOW TO BOOKEND YOUR DAYS   Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast, where we talk about how to use your personal style as a tool to create a life you love.   We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really, good!   Hi there and welcome to the show. I’m your host, Annie Kip and today we’re talking about how to set yourself up for a good day by working on your morning and evening routines.   Today, I am going to share something I’m not good at. In fact, it’s something that I am a little embarrassed about.   Here I am, doing a podcast and sharing ideas and giving you suggestions, but I have to admit that I’m not proud of my record when it comes to follow-through on doing what I say I want to do.   I’m really good at coming up with new ideas and knowing the specific actions I want to take and writing it all down very carefully -- but consistently carrying these actions out? Not so much. Building good habits has never been my forte.   I wasn’t setting myself up to get what I wanted at all. In fact, I was getting in my own way and not making progress on my own priorities. I was putting off projects like this podcast and my new website. Yes, I still took care of my responsibilities to other people, my clients and kids - but I wasn’t taking care of my own stuff.   As icky as it made me feel, I had to admit that I wasn’t getting the things done that mattered to me.   It felt bad to look at this, so I avoided it. I was out of alignment and not being who I wanted to be. Feeling bad about it and not wanting to look at what was making me feel bad was sort of keeping me more stuck.   You guys, these out of alignment feelings are the whispers I’ve been telling you about. They don’t always tell you things that make you feel good. Sometimes they are actually trying to tell you something you don’t really want to see about yourself! In this case, they were telling me something was not working, by showing me that I didn’t want to feel this way!   So I took some advice that a wonderful therapist, named Steve, gave me a long time ago - and I become curious.   Curious was a much better feeling state than being ashamed of myself, so I stayed with it and tried to notice how other people got stuff done.   I have a really organized friend who has to be at work early and I remembered her telling me that she makes kids lunches the night before and sets out her own breakfast, the same oatmeal everyday, so she will make sure to eat it in the morning, on the way to work.   Then, I thought of the beau. For years, he has followed the same routine in the morning. He wakes up and does a ton of sit ups - like literally 500, because I guess he needs his abs strong to keep his back from aching, then has his half a bagel, and orange juice with some pulp (and I tease him that it’s not no-pulp, not a lot of pulp - “some” pulp), all while reading the Boston Globe. Then he gets dressed for work and sits down to have his tea and a breakfast treat. Like a cookie or piece of cake, while he finishes reading the Globe.   I always sort of made fun of him for being so rigid - like I was the cool one for doing things when I felt like it, as the mood struck me - but I realized that the beau actually got a lot accomplished in that morning routine and I realized that there might be some value to following some kind of a routine myself.   At about the same time, I heard of something called  “bookending” your day - Have you heard this phrase? It’s the idea of creating routine at the beginning and end of your day. It makes sense to me, being a visual person - the concept of creating blocks at either end of the day that stay the same every day. I envision that these bookending routines sort of prop up my day and hold it all together.   I’ve been giving it a shot and have been able to add on some things to make my morning, in particular much more productive. It’s been an ongoing process for me - and I’m making adjustments along the way, but if you’re someone who is trying to start new habits or get more out of your day, then I think this will be really helpful to you.   I’m going to share the benefits I’ve gotten from doing the bookending, rather than the specific details of my personal routines, which I think might be a little boring for you - but if you’d like to know what I do, I did write them all down and I’m happy to share if it would be helpful to you. You can copy what I do or take what works for you and add whatever you want.   You can download my "7-Step Bookend Routines For Morning and Evening" from the website: www.stylewithintentionpodcast.com, on the page for Episode 5.   There have been the obvious specific benefits of actually doing what I want to do for myself with my bookends. I’m making my bed, walking the dog, eating better, sleeping better, waking up happier.   My Dog, Luna, who’s an old-lady chocolate lab - is getting a more a regular walk, which has been really good for her and I feel like a better dog mama taking her out. When we get out for our walk early, I can let her off the leash more than usual as well, which she loves.   In addition to these things, there have been 3 specific benefits I didn’t expect to see - which I’m going to tell you about now.   Number One of the most unexpected benefits I have seen is that this feels like self-care. I started doing my bookending routines to make sure I got things done that were important to me,- like writing and starting this podcast - and the routine was sort of like a chore that I had to do-  but now it feels like an indulgence.   My evening bookend feels especially indulgent - even though it’s just a hot bath - it’s real self-care and I see why people say it’s so important. I look forward to starting my ritual at night - it gives me a good thing to look forward to at the end of the day and I definitely sleep better when I take the time to do this for myself. The routine trains my body to know when to relax - because, frankly, my mind is lousy at this. I am a ruminator, and I have a hard time turning it off.   My evening bookend leads to better sleep- the ultimate in self-care in my book- which means a better day the next day   Number 2 -  weekends feel different, better - more like the end of a week. Which is a big deal to someone like me who works from home most of the time.   On the weekend, I don’t follow my bookending routine exactly, I might walk the dog later and I stay in my pjs longer and sip coffee, rather than tea, on the weekends - which feels like a big treat now.   The result is that the weekend feels more special, more like the break that it is supposed to be.   Number 3 - This has been empowering in a way that I didn’t expect. Bookending my days has given me a new way to have more control over what happens to me.  It’s empowering to know that I can create a routine and incorporate whatever I want into my life- I’ve added a couple of things and am thinking about other things that I want and how I can make them a natural part of this bookend sequence. Once the routine is established, it’s much easier just to add something to it.   I know a lot of you may already have routines you follow. Maybe you already bookend your days without realizing it! That’s great and I have a lot I can learn from those of you who are already using this tool, like the beau.   I’m realizing that not having to decide what to do - just doing it - feels like a relief, not a chore. I’m look forward to doing my bookends and I’m getting even more regular - because when I skip them now, I definitely regret it. But every day is a chance to get back on it and start all over again.   Sure, what happens in the middle of the day, between my bookends, is often still chaotic and unpredictable. I don’t always feel the way I want to feel. My next frontier is going to be bookending my routines for starting work and ending work each day, but having my current, simple bookends in place to hold at least my morning and the evening together, gives my days a kind of rhythm, and has given me exponential benefits.   I’m sharing this - not because I’m perfect at it, because I am definitely not. If you know me, you know I am a work in progress! I should have one of those construction ahead signs outside my house! But because I thought this idea - and really all the ideas I’m sharing on Style With Intention - might help you too.  I’m working on making small changes and not needing to be perfect. If you can relate, then let’s help each other get better and better at this and feel the way we want to feel, so we can have more of the experiences we want to have, and live our lives in a way that makes us really, truly happy.   If you’d like to start your own bookend routine, go to the website for links to the info I’ve shared here - there are some resources and great articles that explain why some of the specific rituals I include in my actually routine work. I’ve tried a bunch of things and am really happy with what I’ve settled on. You can download my 7-Step Morning and Evening routines - feel free to use it or make tweaks so that you find something that works for you.   Let me know how you like it. I’d love to hear what you’re doing so I can get ideas for what to add to my routine!   BONUS CONTENT If you'd like to find a little more time and space to feel better and fit in the things that matter to you - this bonus content is perfect for you! You can see the "7-Step Bookend Routines For Morning and Evening" that I've been working with and then create your own bookend routines which will work well for you. Taking back your days can be as simple as bookending your morning and evening routines! You can click HERE to get the bonus content and we’ll send it out right away!     P.S. If you're new to podcasts, check out our free Podcast Cheat Sheet - it'll give you everything you need to know about finding, downloading, and listening on the go! Click HERE to get it!  

  Knowing your personal style and dressing how you want to feel is crucial to your happiness and it’s as easy as listening to your brain’s quiet messages about what will make you happy!   Here are the biggest takeaways from this episode: The importance of knowing how you want to feel & how you can use that to define your personal style. Why it’s so important to use the changes in your life to make a choice intentionally. How I use my personal style as an exercise of living with intention You’ll discover how to uncover your personal style by listening to“whispers” (also know as: life's little nudges)   Hey there! Today’s mission is to reclaim that personal style of yours - -  even if it’s been missing in action for years. We’ve all heard the old adage “when you look good,  you feel good” - - and while there’s whole lot of truth in that saying, I’d like to suggest that you start with knowing how you want to feel - because I believe looking good is an inside job! Dressing how you want to feel is crucial to your happiness & it’s as easy as listening to your brain’s quiet messages about what style - for your personal wardrobe or for your home - will make you happy! As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good!   Enjoy the show!   BONUS CONTENT Been so long you don’t even know where to start? This week's free bonus content, "The Personal Style Audit Checklist," will help you get going! We know it’s so easy to put yourself on the back-burner, because let’s be real, life gets in the way. Now is your time! Download the guide now and get clear on what you need to do to start looking and feeling happy! Click HERE to get the bonus content and we’ll send it out right away! ___________     In case you'd rather read than listen... FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #4 RECLAIMING YOUR PERSONAL STYLE Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast where we talk about how to use your personal style as a tool to create a life you love.   We believe that choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really, good!   I’m your host, Annie Kip, and I want to welcome you to today’s episode - all about how you can reclaim your personal style - even if it’s been missing in action for years.   For many of us, there’ve been a lot of competing pulls on us for years and our personal style has been less important - we’ve had kids who need us, relationships that require us to stretch and compromise, parents who need our attention, friends we want to find time for, and jobs that require our energy and focus.   All of these obligations and commitments take time. If you’re like me, you barely have time to stop and feed yourself and your family at the end the day, so paying attention your style can seem like a luxury. Or even a superficial indulgence. Style was something we might have paid attention to when we were younger, dating, and only had ourselves to think about. As adults, we don’t have the luxury of only thinking about ourselves.   Sort of like the Velveteen Rabbit, the children’s storybook, our sense of personal style may have been smushed, damaged, pushed, pulled, edited, adjusted, or ignored for years.   Our preferences have definitely taken a backseat to the needs of others.   Lots of us don’t even know what we like anymore. We may have forgotten who we are in some ways - and lost some of the personal power we once felt. I’m here to tell you that it isn’t too late to get that back. And now is the best time to do it!   This seems to be an age where a lot of my friends and I are taking a look around and wondering what’s next. We’re adjusting to the changing needs of our families - kids are growing up, going off to college, needing us a little less. We’re considering what’s next, and sometimes worrying about what’s next. This is a time when some of us make big changes and regroup to head in a whole new direction in our relationships and our careers.   The changes in our lives - expected and unexpected - can be quite disconcerting and make us feel out of control and vulnerable. Not liking the changes we see in our lives - in the mirror, in the work world, and even in our relationships - can really do a number on is. Feeling unsure of yourself can be paralyzing and it’s no wonder so many people get stuck in a style or way of life.  This doesn’t have to be the end of the story. You don’t have to stay in this feeling forever. This can be a new chapter.   Endings can be new beginnings. This can be a time of growth - learning things that you’ve put off learning. Taking new jobs that stretch us and introduce us to new people. We can develop new relationships with our kids, as more grown up people.   Friends of mine recently sold the home that they raised their kids in and moved into a condo. As excited as they are about their new space - and it looks awesome - they had to get rid of a lot of things. The process of paring down was hard and they still feel a little weird that they only have a guest room for their kids to stay in when they visit. But it was time for this change and they’re glad they made it.   Instead of just limping along, feeling paralyzed as they ignored the bad feelings, they wondered what could be better. They thought of what they could do with their big house, noticed they were feeling really stressed about the upkeep, and they made a choice to downsize. The decided and went with it. It hasn’t been all fun and popcorn. They chose to do something hard, to get to the happier place they wanted to be in. Now they live in a home which is just the right size for them. They don’t have the worry of upkeep and they have only the possessions they truly love and want to live with.   They knew they didn’t feel the way they wanted to feel in their big family home and they made choices to get to a better place.   Knowing how you want to feel is solid gold information, my friend.   You want this info -  and today, we’re going to talk about why it’s so important to use the changes in your life to make a choice intentionally and why it makes such a difference in your life.   You’re going to have to choose something - staying or going, keeping or throwing out - so you may as well choose what’s going to get you where you want to go. Not making a choice is still a choice.   A couple of weeks ago, I talked about something I call the “whispers” - those little voices that tell you when something works for you or doesn’t. (If you want to hear more about this, go listen to episode 2) They can be so faint that you barely hear them. Or so quick to pass that you sometimes miss them. But if you practice paying attention, you can become more and more aware of them and get the juicy info they have to offer.   The whispers will help you make choices. It takes a bit of focus and intention – but it’s worth it, especially if you haven’t paid attention to your style for a while.   This is where you get to reclaim your personal style. This is how your personal style gets unique - when you let your choices be guided by what lights you up. When you listen to the “whispers” and the juicy truth they are telling you.   The whispers help you do what’s right for you - and what will bring your emotional state up. They give you the confidence to to ignore what other people think. To not compromise or please or placate other people. They help you make choices which will help you experience happier feelings.   And we all want to have better experiences, right? We want to feel good more of the time. I know I do and that’s why I’ve become sort of obsessed with understanding how our style choices affect our emotions.   Most people know when they’re having a good day. You know, one of those days when everything just goes well. You feel like you have it wired and dialed in and can handle whatever comes your way. You’re feeling friendly and the world seems to be smiling back at you. I call these rockstar days, because they feel amazing!   But when you don’t feel so good, you might not know why. You might not even be aware that you’re not “up.” Or that you feel a little more tired or even sad. The day just seems sort of “regular” or blah. We all have those days. We sometimes just assume this is part of life.   But what if you could have more up days and fewer down days?   The whispers can help you understand what makes you feel the way you feel. When you’re wearing certain things or working in certain environments, it affects you. Even the interactions you have throughout a day can affect how you feel. Pay attention to those flashes of information that tell you what makes you feel up and what makes you feel less up, or even down.   At the very least, being conscious of these feelings and the choices you have, gives you a better chance of managing them and creating better experiences for yourself   Because feelings are not facts. You can change how you feel, which means you can change what you experience. I believe this with all my heart - and I’m definitely still working on this in my life. It’s easy to get swept into a situation and think there’s not way out, but to feel bad, or sad, or mad. Just this weekend, I found myself feeling bad and struggling to get myself into a better feeling state. I took a walk with the dog, I took a warm bath, and did the self-care I knew would help get me closer to the feeling I wanted to be in.   You always have at least two choices - to change your situation or change how you feel about your situation.   And now I can just hear a bunch of you out there groaning and saying - but how can I feel good about the bad things going on around me. Yes, I know there are some things that happen in the world which are terribly tragic and unexplainable and senseless. I’m not talking about those awful things. I’m talking about ordinary difficult things that go on in our lives - like divorce and moving and getting fired or going back to work.   Yes, there are super hard times. I’ve had my share, believe me. And I can’t say I am perfect at this, but I do think there’s no good that will come from continuing to feel “down” and there’s all kinds of good that can happen if you figure out how to bring yourself, just one tiny, tiny step closer to “up.”   If you aren’t feeling the way you want to feel, let’s figure out why. If you’re going through unsettling changes and you want to feel more in charge, let’s figure out where you can take control. If you’ve lost track of your preferences, let’s take stock and start making small choices which will let you experience happier feelings. We can build on that.   I’ve put together a series of questions you can ask yourself to help with this. It’s a totally free download. Go to our website - www.stylewithintentionpodcast.com, and on the page for episode 4, you can download the free “Personal Style Audit Checklist”. Or, even easier, you can text the word STYLEAUDIT to 44-222 and we’ll send it out to you right away.   Go through the checklist and think about each area of your life. It may not be time to make changes right now – the kids have to get through school, parents need our help, or you might need to keep your day job as they say – but you can become aware of the places in your life that feel like a hell “yes!!!” and notice the places that make you go “meh” or even “ick”   These questions will help you identify the places where you might unconsciously be giving up your option to choose. It will help you identify where the way you feel inside might be out of sync with what’s showing on the outside or how you want to feel in your life.   The answers to these questions will help you focus on the areas of your life which will get you the biggest wins and fastest gains. Making small changes and choosing things that make you feel good is the way to make your life more of what you want it to be going forward.   This is what defines your personal style.   Many of us are staring down the road at the second-half of our lives -  and I believe we can make these the best years yet. You can let yourself dream of a life filled with hell “yes!!!” and reverse engineer your choices to get more of that feeling.   It takes a bit of focus and possibly some attitude adjustment - especially if you’re used to thinking that you’re not in charge of how you feel, but it’s worth it. Change isn’t always easy, but the vision you hold for yourself and how you want to feel will gain traction and become more real the more you are able to identify which choices will get you closer to it.   Your personal style is defined by the way you feel inside. You deserve to feel anyway you want to feel. And it’s within your reach - because remember, feelings aren’t facts, they’re within your control. You deserve to feel peaceful, brave, free and happy. And whatever else you want to feel.   Work from the feeling you want to have, listen to the whispers we talked about in episode 2. You are the one and only expert on how you feel, so make the style choices which are right for you. Help yourself experience the feelings you want in your life by choosing what lifts you up and puts a smile on your face - this is the way to reclaim your unique style - because happy always looks really, really good.   BONUS CONTENT Been so long you don’t even know where to start? This week's free bonus content, "The Personal Style Audit Checklist," will help you get going! We know it’s so easy to put yourself on the back-burner, because let’s be real, life gets in the way. Now is your time! Download the guide now and get clear on what you need to do to start looking and feeling happy! Click HERE to get the bonus content and we’ll send it out right away!     P.S. Be sure you're subscribed by clicking HERE!   Remember, if you’re new to podcasts, check out our free Podcast Cheat Sheet for everything you need to know about downloading, listening to, and sharing podcast episodes. Click HERE to get it!   header photograph by: Yifei Chen  

  Your environment has a huge impact on your emotions - and you can use it to feel happier. We can aggressively use style and design to maintain an elevated feeling state and get back to feeling happier more quickly when we're not feeling so great.   Here are the biggest takeaways from this episode: The relationship between our environments and how we feel can feel happier (this is about so much more than making spaces “look good”). A totally new way to think about design (hint: you matter). How to aggressively use style & design to create and maintain a happier feeling state. How being happier lends itself to better thinking (i.e. feeling good is TOTALLY worth making some small changes).   Hey there! Thank you for tuning in!  Today we’re talking about a how you can get yourself into a happier state of mind more often!  This is a topic that can affect every aspect of your life. Your environment has a huge impact on your emotions - - and the good news is - - design is something we have control over.  It’s one of the best tools around to help you create a happier state of mind. It can be as simple as the colors and textures and sizes of furniture in your home. Or maybe you need to set up a space in your home that’s just for you to relax and wind down? (My dad always had “his chair” and I think each of us deserves our own special place in our homes!) The key is to know where you are and what you want to feel - so you can always be reaching for the next better feeling! As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good!   Enjoy the show! BONUS CONTENT To help you get started, we've got really great bonus content for today’s show. We're sharing our "How To Access a Happy State Of Mind" guide so can you identify where you are right now and the next higher feeling you can reach for in your quest for a happy state of mind. (I think some of these will surprise you!) You can use this one-page guide to check in with yourself, identify the happier feeling you want to feel, and set up your environment with whatever supports you need to get there. I recommend you download it - right now - so you’ll have it anytime you need a little help -all you have to do is identify where you are now and reach for the next best emotion. It's so much easier to take small steps toward a happier state of mind, than to attempt a big leap. Give it a shot this week - now’s the best time to start taking control of how you feel. Click HERE to get the bonus content and we’ll send it out right away! ________   In case you'd rather read than listen... FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #3 HOW TO ACCESS A HAPPY STATE OF MIND Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast, where we talk about how to use your personal style as a tool to create the life you want to live. We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really, good! Hi there and welcome to the show. I’m your host, Annie Kip and today we’re talking about how you can get yourself into a happier state of mind more often. As an interior decorator, you would think that I’m all about making things look nice. And I do love pretty spaces and all the pictures I see in glossy magazines. Perfectly styled rooms are great, but they aren’t all there is to my kind of interior design. For me, there is an important element of psychology in interior design that often gets overlooked. If we were to sit together over a cup of tea, and I were to tell you what I really think about when I am helping a client work on their space, you would hear me talk more about being happy than about fabrics, or lighting, or furniture layouts. Sure those are the tools I use, but creating more experiences of “happy” is what I do. It’s intentional work. I believe that your environments can have a huge impact on your emotions. I think we can aggressively use style and design to maintain an elevated feeling state and use our environments to get back on track more quickly when we are not feeling so great. Because we will always get off track. Life is a continuous process of experiencing what we like, then experiencing what we don’t like, and trying to get back to experiencing what we do like. After a long day of work. While the kids are driving you crazy. When you hear news that makes it feel like your world is out of control. We're always trying to get back to a state of happy. I believe that “happy” is your home state. I believe it’s your resting state. Your normal state of equilibrium. It has to be - because the world works so much better when people are happy. So much more gets done when you’re happy. Things just seem to flow - Both at work and at home and even when you’re relaxing. A happy mind can think of new ideas. You have easy access to a sense of expansiveness which opens and relaxes you even more. Brainstorming doesn’t feel quite as difficult or vulnerable - it feels more like a game of possibility. A happy state lends itself to exploration, new solutions, and compromises you didn’t see before. Sometimes, the problem doesn’t even seem like a problem from the solid, grounded perspective of a mind in a happy state. You might think “Oh, I guess it doesn’t matter that much to me after all” or “It’s fine with me, either way.” It’s easier to say  “Hey, why don’t we try this?” or “This is what I really want” when you are in a happy state of mind. It’s contagious too. When you’re genuinely, unconsciously just happy - people want to be around you. They want to be on your team. They pick you for their team. They want to do your bidding. It’s an invisible, powerful force of goodness that replicates itself every time it is shared. I’ve said in other other episodes: that I believe your feelings are powerful, but they aren’t facts. You have a lot of influence here. If you don’t agree with this, you are essentially giving in to the mercy of your reactions and feelings. Which may or may not be based in reality - remember the example I gave of a person who is safe but believes they are in grave danger and another person who might be in a lot of danger, but have no idea of it, so they feel completely safe? Feelings are where our thoughts come from - and thoughts control what we do. I’m not suggesting that you can fool yourself into believing you are a rock star, king of the world or anything else you don’t really believe is true - actually, only a little bit. I’m suggesting that you can choose what you focus on - and you can focus on things that will get you into a better feeling state. Small steps will help you be more successful with this - it’s super hard to go from depressed to elated - but you might be able to go from sad, to grateful. Or from angry, to compassionate. Or from hopeful, to excited. It takes effort. You have to really try to concentrate and intentionally feel the feeling you want to experience in your bones for it to stick with you and become real. Start small. And before you know it, you will find that “happy” really does feel like your natural state of mind. If you do choose to try this, you are taking control of the one thing that sets the tone of the rest of your life. Your feelings are the root of how you interact with people, how you see your life, and the thoughts that result in your behaviors. My expertise is in creating the home systems and environments that make you feel the way you want to feel. My weapon of choice is interior design. My goal is to first understand what people need to feel good - because “good” means different things to different people - “good” might mean peaceful to one person, energizing to another, and cozy and intimate to yet another person. We use color, textures, layouts, and everything we can to create spaces that make people feel the way they want to feel. There are no prescriptions or rules for this - it’s a new way of thinking about interior design and it’s completely personal and unique to you. I help people figure it out, but I also believe that people have within them all the info they need to create happy spaces for themselves. It just takes focused intention to do it. In my opinion, setting up your life to help you feel better, hopeful, and happier more more of the time is well worth the effort it takes. Just taking control feels good, but getting to a happier state will show you that this is really where you are meant to spend most of your time. And practicing only makes it easier to get back here, when you experience the less happy parts of life. You can try it out this week, by imagining how you want to feel at home. Take the time to think about what you can do to give yourself that feeling ahead of time. Do you need a space that is all your own? Do the colors around you lift you up or bring you down. When you look around, what catches your eye? Does it make you happy? You can make the style choices which will give you more access to the feelings you want to have - which will give you those experiences which make you feel good more of the time. Because happy really is supposed to be your natural state, the way you feel most of the time. If you think this episode would be helpful for a friend, you can share it very easily - on your iPhone, I’d love to hear from you about how this is working for you, so feel free to drop me a note and let me know! Thanks for listening today. Until next week, keep making your life look the way you want to feel! Bye, bye for now! Be sure to download the free bonus content for this episode! We are sharing our "How To Access a Happy State Of Mind" guide so can you identify where you are right now and reach for the next higher feeling in your quest for a happy state of mind. Click HERE to get the bonus content and we'll send it out right away!     P.S. Also, remember - if you’re new to listening to podcasts, check out the Podcast Cheat Sheet for everything you need to know about finding, downloading, and listening to podcasts! Click HERE to get it!

  It can be super hard to settle down enough to hear what your deepest knowing has to say - but the info is there in the form of whispers from your heart -  you already have everything you need to choose what will make you happy!   Here are the biggest takeaways from this episode: We go a bit deeper into what the heck “whispers” are (hint: solid gold info). You’ll learn how your whispers are telling you what will make you happy—so listen up! You’ll learn how to tune-in and tease out the “whispers” in your own life. I share my own ups and downs with listening to whispers and ignoring these nuggets of info. You’ll discover how to create better experiences and feelings using the info your whispers have for you.   Hey there! I’m so glad you stopped by!   Today, we’re talking about something that’s crucial to your happiness - - the ability to listen to your heart’s quiet messages about what will make you happy! We call them "whispers"! There is so much noise and distraction in the world - not to mention whatever fears and baggage and anxieties get in our way (of course, I know nothing about this, myself…ha!). It can be super hard to settle down enough to hear what your deepest knowing has to say. But the info is there for you -  in the form of whispers from your heart - you have everything you need to know about what will make you happy! As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good!   Enjoy the show! BONUS CONTENT You have a whole deep well of info available to you...if you just listen. This week's free bonus content, “3 Simple Steps To Start Listening To Your Whispers,” will help you get started.  It will walk you through the simple steps to help you start listening in - so you can kick-start your journey to a life of more ease, joy, and direction.   This guide is perfect for anyone who wants more clarity and control over their thoughts. Download it now so you’ll have it anytime you’re looking for a little help accessing your own guidance. Click HERE and we’ll send it out right away! __________   In case you'd rather read than listen, here's the FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #2 LISTENING TO THE WHISPERS Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast where we talk about how to use your personal style to create a life you love.   We believe that choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really, good!   I’m your host, Annie Kip, and in today’s episode we are talking all about how you can figure out which choices are going to lift you up and make you feel amazing.   Last week, we talked about what it means to make intentional personal style choices and use them as a tool to design a life you love. We talked about how important it is to get really clear on how you want to feel first, and then make choices which will get you closer to that feeling. We talked about how your feelings and the hundreds of ordinary choices you make everyday will create the experiences you want to have in your life.   Today, we’re going to go a bit deeper into the how.  We’re going to talk about a way that you can figure out what works for you and what doesn’t work for you in your personal style choices.   When it comes to making personal style choices - we’re all different. Some people have very strong feelings and other say they don’t know what they like. I’ve seen that one person might like something that another person can’t stand. There’s no right or wrong or ultimate authority of style and taste. It all comes down to your unique preferences. These preferences come from a feeling within us. We can’t always say why - we just know.   If you think about it, whenever we are choosing what we want to wear or buy for our homes, it’s always based on a feeling. We just “like” something better than something else.   Little bits of feedback are there for you all the time, if you listen - they’re subtle indicators you get in reaction to what you see and do all day. It’s real-time feedback that’s available to everyone.   The info you get is sometimes very loud and pushy, but the really good, juicy info sometimes feels more like a whisper.  It’s sometimes so quiet, you can barely hear it. Other times, you miss it completely because it came and went so fast.   Something might catch your eye or you notice a color or a style or a shape and it just strikes you differently than anything else. Or, you might have a moment of knowing or a nice, content feeling -  or a even a feeling state that is so delicious and wonderful that you want to stay in it as long as possible - but it can slip away just as quietly as it came.   I call these moments “whispers” - because they can be like smoke or a slippery thing that’s hard to hold onto.  You don’t always know where the feeling comes from or where it goes. Sometimes, you just have a memory of the good feeling.   These “Whispers” are your clues to the personal style choices you can make which will delight you. They are the way we will start using your style to help you create the experiences and feelings that will make up the life you want to live.   No matter who you are or how much you think you don’t have good taste, or know how to match patterns, or pick colors -  you know when something lights you up.   When something delights you - you can feel it. It’s one of those things that you know it when you see it.   The whispers tell you what makes your heart sing - and you can get more and more information from these whispers, the more you pay attention to them - start by taking the time to try to notice if you’re have a reaction at all. Linger on the feeling as long as you can. Put a name on it, if possible.   It’s a process and a practice that you can get better at.   When we’re young, we tend to be good at this. We have such visceral reactions - we like and don’t like things strongly. I think we’re more in touch with how we feel because we haven’t had as many experiences compromising and pleasing other people - which tends to make you lose track of your own preferences.   I know this was true for me and I’ve heard other moms say how they don’t even know what they like anymore - they’ve been putting their needs last for so long.   Over the years, there’ve been plenty of times when I didn’t listen to my own whispers. I didn’t even realize that there were whispers I could use to help myself make better choices. I relied on my mom’s taste and picked things because they were fashionable - you know, like cabbage rose chintz in the 80’s and bold, dark wall colors in the 90’s. I lived with the not so good feeling that these choices gave me for a long time, until I came to realize that they didn’t make me feel good. In fact, they made me sort of sad. I didn’t know how big an impact my environment had on me, until I let myself really pay attention to what delighted me.     I wish I hadn’t wasted so many years feeling not so good, but  I was young, and in my first house, trying to be grown up and doing what I saw in magazines.   These days, I’m much better at recognizing the whispers and taking the time to pay attention to what they’re telling me. I’m able to notice them and hold onto them long enough for them to take shape and become real feelings. I can identify what delights me and what just makes me feel tired and sad. Now I have a small home that’s simply decorated, but it’s filled with only things I love. Everywhere I turn, I see things that lift my spirits and make me feel good.   Most recently, I had to stand up for my whispers on a building project at my house. We were converting a 3-season porch to a real room and I had the chance to make some choices about my living space. I live in New England, but I grew up in California and one of the things I missed most about the west is the outdoor living spaces.   We used to spend lots of time on my backyard patio and I have wonderful memories of sitting on the porch with my friends.   I love how free it feels to be outside at night. I love hearing the crickets and feeling the evening cooling. It makes me feel relaxed and safe. Outside living space makes me feel abundant and full of possibility, and content.   I especially like being outside at dusk on a warm night. And as might be the case where you live, dusk is when the mosquitoes come out around here, so I haven’t been able to be outside at dusk as much as I would like.   The thing I wanted most of all from my building project was a screen porch. The Beau jokes that I did the whole project, just to get my screen porch. This desire has been whispering to me for years, but it felt like a real extravagance to add it to the job. I knew adding on the expense of this screen porch was a bit of a stretch, but I trusted my whispers and felt so strongly that it would affect the quality of my life that I added it on.   It’s a pretty simple porch, but now, every time I sit on that screen porch I’m filled with gratitude. I have a deep, happy, satisfied appreciation for that space. I go out there any chance I get - and enjoy my breakfast, or the end of the work day, or listen to a rain storm, or just doze on a lazy day - I am sooooo glad I listened to the whispers.   When you’re in a space that delights you, you can feel it in your bones.   You might notice it in certain rooms of your house. Or at a friends home.in a office, building lobby, or even a store. You know it because it feels comfortable, right, and calm. It can also make you feel energized and focused. When you are surrounded by colors and textures and shapes and sizes and objects that delight you, you just feel more alive.   Whispers are the key to figuring out what will make you feel this way.   What makes one person feel good in a space may not work for another person. This is the tricky thing about creating a family home. We have to pay attention to what each person really needs and try our hardest to honor it. There are many ways to accomplish what we want to accomplish for each person - and it doesn’t always require a lot of money. Making sure everyone has what they need can be as simple as letting your kids pick the color of their rooms or keeping a vase of wild flowers or pretty leaves or even a special chair. The important thing is to start listening to the whispers and grab onto the feedback they’re giving you.   Really try to notice because this whisper is telling you what will make you happy.   I love helping people hear their own whispers. I work with my clients and friends to tease out what it is they want to feel. We figure out what they want from their homes and offices - recently a friend took some big chances at her home and painted some walls bold colors and she tells me, everytime she walks into her home and sees her colorful walls, (which by the way are so different from what most of the homes in our area have) - she says she feels like “herself.” She feel like she’s really “home” in a way that she’s never felt before. I love seeing how certain details can lift people up and make them feel like their best selves.   I don’t think it’s just a coincidence that she reports her business has never been better, and she feels more relaxed and at ease when she gets home from work and spends time with her family. I told her she had a “calmer-ness” about her - she seems more comfortable in her own skin.  The simple choice of wall-color made her feel so good inside that it’s showing up in her life and coming through in everything she does.   These small, ordinary style choices we make have far-reaching impact on our lives. This is the power of listening to your “whispers”   This week, see if you can hear them. They are there, ready to help you, in every little decision you make throughout the day. Try to notice how different spaces make you feel, different offices, or homes.   If you’d like some help getting started, listening to your whispers, we’ve got a great piece of bonus content for you today. I’m giving you “3 Simple Steps To Start Listening To Your Whispers” - you can follow the instructions to get into the habit of listening to your whispers and identifying the important information your brain is sending you. It’s totally free and you can download it by clicking on the link in the show notes and we’ll send it out to you right away.   Next time, we’ll talk about reclaiming your personal style. This is a great episode for anyone who’s been a parent for many years and sort of put their own needs and preferences on hold. Feel free to click on the social share buttons and let your friends know about this one - it’s going to be good!   Until then, keep makin’ things look the way you want to feel, because happy looks really, really good!   Thanks for listening. Bye, bye for now! BONUS CONTENT You have a whole deep well of info available to you...if you just listen. This week's free bonus content, “3 Simple Steps To Start Listening To Your Whispers,” will help you get started.  It will walk you through the simple steps to help you start listening in - so you can kick-start your journey to a life of more ease, joy, and direction.   This guide is perfect for anyone who wants more clarity and control over their thoughts. Download it now so you’ll have it anytime you’re looking for a little help accessing your own guidance. Click HERE to get the bonus content and we’ll send it out right away!       P.S. Remember, if you’re new to listening to podcasts, check out the Podcast Cheat Sheet for everything you need to know about finding, downloading, and listening to podcasts! Click HERE to get it!  

  Style With Intention is all about using the small, ordinary choices in your life to bring you more happy experiences - and giving yourself permission to be happy. This is the most important thing you can do every day - and is actually a service to others!   The biggest takeaways from this episode: Why being happy is the most important job you have in life. How the experiences you have are inextricably linked to how you feel. How you can choose the happy feeling you want to have and then use your choices to intentionally create the happier experiences you want to have.   Hey there! I’m so glad you stopped by - this is our very first episode!   Being happy affects every aspect of your life. The way you feel inside matters and it always shows on the outside - and it affects other people too! Imagine if there were more people in the world who felt solidly good and happy inside...how much more forgiveness there would be, how many more win-win solutions we could find, and how much kinder people would naturally be with each other. Reaching for your own happy feelings can start a ripple effect of goodness in the world, so I say - have at it! Sing in your car, wear your favorite clothes (every day!), and for heaven’s sake - don’t wait until you’re moving out of your house to paint the walls a color you like! Listen in today as I explain how you can actually reverse engineer the experiences you want to have! As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good! Enjoy the show!   BONUS CONTENT Creating enough time and space in our lives to do the things that make us happy isn’t always easy...and sometimes, you even might feel a little guilty doing things for yourself...so, I want to offer you these simple, small changes you can make in your life right now to find more happiness! Click HERE to get the bonus content and we’ll send it out right away!   ________________ In case you'd rather read than listen, here's the FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #1 PERMISSION TO BE HAPPY Hey there and Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast where we talk about how to use your personal style as a tool to create a life you love. We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really, good! I’m your host, Annie Kip, and you’ve found our very first episode! I’m so glad you’re here! This episode will fill you in on exactly what Style With Intention is and what you can expect from this podcast. So - what if there was one thing you could do every day that would make everything else you did better? What if that one thing also made other people’s lives better? That one thing would be pretty important to do everyday, don’t you think? Well --  I believe that one thing - is to find a way to be happy. I think being happy is your most important job. This isn’t something that people always feel comfortable with. In fact, some people might even feel it’s selfish to pursue their own happiness. I know it’s taken me a while to come to terms with even saying this out loud. But I believe this is true. With all my heart. So today, I’m going to share with you: how I came to the conclusion that being happy is your most important job the secret that ties it all together why I think doing your most important job well - is a service to others Of course, being “happy” is very subjective and it means different things to different people at different times. And I’m not suggesting that you should or would be able to make yourself happy by deliberately making other people un-happy. I’m also certainly not pretending that my life has been smooth sailing or I’m able to stay happy all of the time - but I try - and I do believe it’s worth striving for... and here’s why. I came to this conclusion over years of working with clients. Some of you may know that I’m an interior decorator and a personal stylist - I’m your girl if you ever need help picking furniture, matching patterns, or choosing colors. I realized that, whenever someone wanted to make changes in their home or update their wardrobe - they wanted more than just a pretty room or a great looking clothes - they wanted a different experience in their lives. They actually wanted to feel something different. They wanted a better feeling than what they are currently experiencing. In my previous work with, designing and merchandising retail spaces for Nike and Ralph Lauren, I realized we were giving people the same thing. At Nike, I was on the design team that built the elaborate flagship stores, called Niketown's. People loved going into these amazing stores because every detail - the displays, the soundtrack, the lighting - were all designed to give the customers an experience of feeling more connected to their athletic heroes. It turns out that people buy Nike shoes and apparel because it makes them feel more like the athletes they want to be. The same was true of my work at Polo Ralph Lauren - people loved how it felt to shop in the gorgeous Polo Shops we built and wearing Ralph Lauren clothes actually made them feel good. Our customers wanted to live Ralph’s glamorous polo lifestyle and the clothes let them feel more like the people they aspired to be. I know this is true for me as well. It isn’t about designer labels for me - I just have better days when I’m wearing my favorite clothes - the ones I’ve had for years. And just a few minutes of being in a space that lifts me up - like my screened porch - and change my mood entirely - making it easier to get through a busy evening of making dinner, driving to activities, and making sure my kids do their homework. When people feel good inside, they have better experiences and their lives are just easier. All of this came together for me - my past work, my clients now, and even my own personal experiences - to show me - that how people feel inside really affects the quality of their lives. This isn’t about spending lots of money or buying things - it’s about doing all of the simple, ordinary things you do everyday, but intentionally making choices that will make you feel good. This happy state of being - that affects every aspect of your life - is completely within your reach. This is the secret that I promised to tell you - you can do this for yourself! In fact, you have all of the tools you need to succeed right now. The key is to get really crystal clear on how you want to feel first, and then make choices which will give you access to that feeling. Feelings are powerful, but they aren’t facts. They can be managed and created out of nothing. For example: imagine a time when you were really scared. Maybe it was a haunted house when you were a kid or even a nightmare - you can genuinely feel afraid, even if there’s no actual danger. By the same token, you can actually be in grave danger and feel completely safe, because you had no idea you were in a dangerous situation. A few years ago, this happened to me - my kids and I were on a road trip in California (where I grew up!) and were driving through the middle of nowhere from Yosemite to the coast. There no cars, no nothing for miles but the rolling highway. I wasn’t really concerned when I noticed that the gas tank was low, because I figured it couldn’t be that much further and, besides, I had AAA for emergencies. Well, it was a lot farther than I thought and it wasn’t until we literally coasted back into civilization right at dusk that I realized - there was no cell service out there - I had almost gotten us stuck on the side of the road, in the middle of nowhere, in the pitch black night, with no flashlight and no way to get help. I don’t know if it was lucky or unlucky that we had no idea how dangerous that was. You don’t have to go too far into the “woo woo” to see that feelings are very powerful - they create your thoughts - which result in your experiences. We act on what we feel inside. This is where my passion lies - right at this intersection of personal style and personal development. The style choices you make everyday are a tool you can use to feel the way you want to feel. I believe we can reverse engineer the feelings we want to have by starting with the feeling we want and using our personal style choices - at home, in our wardrobe, and even our style of interacting with people - intentionally create the experiences we want to have. Starting with the emotions is a faster, easier, more authentic way to get into the happier feeling state that we all want to live in. 3) In fact, as I mentioned at the beginning - I believe when you’re in a “happy” feeling state, doing your most important job very well - you’re actually doing a service for the people around you - and I’ll tell you why. Think about it, imagine you’re driving to work, listening to your favorite song and you’re kind of moving in your seat and tapping the steering wheel, it feels really good. And if you let yourself really belt it out, like I do when I’m all alone - it feels amazing. Your whole body feels good! When you walk into your work in this happier state of mind, everything’s just easier. You’re friendly to strangers. Frustrations don’t bother you as much. On top of that, people seem more willing to help you. They want to be on your team and they pick you for their team. You’re doing a service by being happy because - the way you feel inside, shows on the outside, and it affects other people. There’s a ripple effect that you can start just by just reaching for your own happier feeling. When the people around you sense your good feeling - as my kids do after I’ve spent some time on my porch - they’re less stressed, which makes them more open and less likely to get upset over small things, - and they’re more apt to be generous and kind with other people. Nothing’s changed here, but a feeling. Having my favorite tea in my favorite chair every morning, starts my day off right. I know when I’m feeling good, I’m more inclined to give a compliment or hold a door, and doing nice things makes me feel happier too. The world just works better, when people feel good inside. So why wouldn’t you want to create this experience for yourself and others more of the time? This is your permission to actively pursue happiness everyday. In future episodes, we’ll be talking about all kinds of ways that you can bring more ease, joy, and intention into your life. We’ll speak to experts and I’ll share my personal challenges and victories with this, so you can learn along with me. This isn’t about money or prestige or impressing other people. In fact, those things may actually get in the way of making authentic choices. You can make choices everyday and set up your world to help you do your most important job well. Just wear your favorite clothes - all the time. Stop wearing the clothes from the back of your closet, just because you think you should. This isn’t a little league team where everyone gets equal playing time and a trophy! You don’t have wait until you’re moving to paint your walls a color you love. You can choose to interact in ways that light you up - make time to be kind - and see how much goodness you can pump out into the world with your own good feelings. And...the next time you’re buying something, maybe it is worth splurging on the extra comfortable one or the one you really like best. I’m obsessed with understanding how we can use the hundreds of ordinary, simple choices we make everyday to intentionally create genuine happy feelings. Because, when I’m singing in my car - the good feeling is real and I want to feel that way more of the time - and I bet you do too! The Style With Intention podcast is the result of my journey to understand how the style choices we make affect our emotions - and how our emotions control the quality of our lives. Doing your most important job well - being happy more and more of the time - simply requires that you become aware of the ordinary choices you make everyday and intentionally use them as a powerful tool to shape the life you want to live. Making small choices that have a big impact - this is the power of having Style With Intention. Thanks for listening today! I’ll catch you in the next episode where we’ll dive a bit deeper into how to know which choices are right for you. Bye, bye for now! Creating enough time and space in our lives to do the things that make us happy isn’t always easy...and sometimes, you even might feel a little guilty doing things for yourself...so, I want to offer you these simple, small changes you can make in your life right now to find more happiness! Click HERE to get the bonus content and we’ll send it out right away!     P.S. Remember, if you’re new to podcasts, check out the free Podcast Cheat Sheet for everything you need to know about how to listen, download, and share podcasts! Click HERE to get it!     Header photograph by: Yoori Koo