Podcast appearances and mentions of anthony locascio

In Ange we trust! Tom and Nick are joined by the voice of Australian Football, Andy Paschalidis, along with resident football tragic and comedian Anthony Locascio to talk about Ange Postecoglou leading Tottenham Hotspurs to the Europa League championship! After achieving what he promised in year two of his contract, Is his job safe? Will he now walk? Andy and Anthony give their opinion on what the future for the Greek-Australian legend now holds.Send us a textSupport the showEmail us at ouzotalk@outlook.comSubscribe to our Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@OuzoTalkFollow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/OuzoTalkFollow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ouzo_talk/

Time for a shot of Ouzo! The boys sit down with comedian and Football aficionado Anthony Locascio following Liverpool's EPL win with Thessaloniki's own, Kostas Tsimikas! Tune for this first 'short' form of Ouzo Talk. The boys discuss Tsimikas, as well as the losing coach in the match, Greek-Australian Coach of Tottenham, Ange Postecoglou and his future. Send us a textSupport the showEmail us at ouzotalk@outlook.comSubscribe to our Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@OuzoTalkFollow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/OuzoTalkFollow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ouzo_talk/

In this episode we continue our chat about how Italian immigrants were viewed in terms of race and how this shapes our experience in current times. Looking back in time, the cultural landscape of Australia was very different than in present times. The White Australia Policy was in effect during the post war era when many Italians were immigrating to Australia. There was a lot to discuss and was worthy of a long chat so this episode is Part 2, if you didn't listen to Part 1 be sure to go back and listen before starting Part 2. Episode 88: Are Italians ‘really' white ? Featuring Anthony Locascio- Part 1 - The Italian Australian Podcast | Podcast on Spotify

Comedian Anthony Locascio is back to chat with us in this episode. Anthony is a well known and very talented Australian comedian with Italian and Greek heritage, our listeners will remember the chat we had with Anthony last year Episode 62: Are Greeks and Italians the same? Featuring Anthony Locascio - The Italian Australian Podcast | Podcast on SpotifyIt was great to chat with him again and hear about what he has been up to, especially his recent time performing in Canada and the USA. This time Anthony is back with us for a chat about how Italian immigrants were viewed in terms of race. Looking back in time, the cultural landscape of Australia was very different than in present times. The White Australia Policy was in effect during the post war era when many Italians were immigrating to Australia. There was a lot to discuss and was worthy of a long chat so this episode is Part 1, be sure to listen in next week for Part 2.

In this episode Berto and his guest Anthony Locascio take a look at the Do or Die situaiton facing Juventus coach Thiago Motta and the scenarios Juventus could face in the aftermath.Subscribe today for much more Juventus Content!

This week in the cabin Tom & Dan are joined by Australian comedian Anthony Locascio! It's a long one where the flogs learn about booing Hulk Hogan, micro-feminism, cinematic blowjobs and watching sport for the promos. Plus what do chicks like to be called? Not that apparently.Follow the cabin on Instagram and TikTok @flogcabin or get around the flogs individually @danmuggleton, @andrewhamiltoncomedy and @tomwitcombecomedy. Also full episodes of Flog Cabin are now live on YouTube! And introducing FONE-A-FLOG, leave the flogs a voicemail that they might play on the show... or just make fun of privately. Flog Cabin finally has a Patreon! For more floggery (in the form of extra and exclusive flogcasts, free tickets to flog live events and the ability to write your own Pilots ads for the flogs to read on the show, early access and more) join the Flogtreon today!Follow Anthony (@anthony.locash) and catch him live at the Enmore Theatre on January 12th!Sponsored by Pilot, Men's Health Treatments Online www.pilot.com.auSave $20 on your first order with promo code FLOGGERS20 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ouzo Talk celebrates 20 years since Greece's iconic Euro 2004 win with three legends of that squad in; Captain and Player of the Tournament, Theodoros Zagorakis, winning goal-scorer Angelos Charisteas, and the incomparable Giorgos Karagounis. Against every imaginable odd, the Greek Football team defied the odds, the pundits, the haters, and no less than four of the best teams in World Football, to take out the inspiring victory. In the process, they humbled the best the world had to offer including Portugal's Luis Figo and Cristiano Ronaldo, the might of Spain, defending Euro Champions and World Cup winners France boating Zinedine Zidane and Thierry Henry, proving to generations of Greek fans globally that anything is possible. The Greek Legends – on tour in Australia thanks to the Football Brilliance Academy, join the boys in The Distillery to go behind the scenes of that win. If you're Greek, or a football fan... this is one not to miss.Cameos from comedians Angelo Tsarouchas and Anthony Locascio, plus Kristina from Are You Even Greek.NOTE: This episode is delivered in a combination of Greek and English.This episode is brought to you by:Meet the Greek: https://www.meetthegreek.com.au/Football Brilliance Academy: https://www.footballbrilliance.com.au/The Greek Providore: https://thegreekprovidore.com.au/Get your tickets to Legends Tour events here: https://www.tickettailor.com/events/footballbrillianceacademy?Send us a textThis episode is proudly brought to you by Meet the Greek Restaurant at Brighton Le Sands. Visit: https://www.meetthegreek.com.au/ Support the showEmail us at ouzotalk@outlook.comSubscribe to our Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@OuzoTalkFollow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/OuzoTalkFollow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ouzo_talk/

This week we have a suuuuper silly and funny fun episode with the delightful Anthony Locascio and Chloe Maddren! We're talking cats (of course), musical theatre and whether it's better to be Greek or Italian (Anthony is both, we're not just being crazyyyy).See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We had a lot of laughs in this week's episode with our guest, stand up comedian Anthony Locascio. Anthony has performed across Australia and internationally over the past couple of years, in our chat he told us about his current show Pappou which is a tribute to his Greek Grandfather. With Anthony being half Italian and half Greek, we ended up chatting about the different cultures and asked him the question- ‘are Italians and Greeks the same?' Listen to the episode to hear what Anthony has to say about this! We had so much fun recording this episode and are looking forward to seeing him perform Pappou later this month. Don't miss out, see the link for your tickets: A N T H O N Y L O C A S C I O (@anthony.locash) • Instagram photos and videos

Comedian Anthony Locascio explains why his Nonna's cooking is better than his Yia Yia's as we deep dive into Italian Vs Greek cuisines. We talk about the worst soccer match played by Italy that we've ever seen, and delve into where w0gs stand in the Australian media. Plus, Anthony puts us at risk when us tells us about his family in the mafia! See you at one of our shows? Get tickets: https://www.sooshimango.com/  CREDITS Hosts: Joe Salanitri, Carlo Salanitri, Andrew Manfre Producer: Liza Altarejos Audio Imager: Nat Marshall  Follow the Sooshi Mango Podcast page on Instagram @sooshimangopodcast and on Tiktok @sooshimangopodcast See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Join us as we kick back with Australia's next big comedian Anthony Locascio! We discuss Juventus, the Euros, Anthony's goalkeeping grandfather, and some of the naughtiest boys in Serie A...

Join our guest, the Tap Master himself, Mr Anthony LoCascio, on this incredible Kick Ball Change journey of performing under the stars in Monte Carlo with the stars like Stevie Wonder and more. His incredible journey of tour life with TAPDOGS, led him down the road of understanding health first hand, with a major Kick Ball Change with his physical body. Listen to his captivating journey of wellbeing, health and nutrition and how it played such an important role in his career. You can find Anthony and his talented wife through https://taplifecompany.com/ You can also experience online classes like no other with this hoofer here: https://taplifecompany.com/events

Ο κωμικός Anthony Locascio, που είναι ελληνικής καταγωγής από την πλευρά της μητέρας του, ξεκινάει αυτή την εβδομάδα στη Μελβούρνη τις νέες εμφανίσεις του για το 2024, με την παράσταση που έχει τον ελληνικό τίτλο «Παππούς».

Ross shakes things up with former Triple J Hack guest Anthony Locascio. 

Whilst Kat continues her well earned rest, comedian Anthony Locascio joins Claudes and Olan to dissect the end of the transfer window as Getafe's latest signing puts them atop of everyone's most hated list. The boys also dissect whether it's worth English players leaving England to get their international chances, as Harry Maguire remains selected in the wake of his first appearance for Man United in their defeat against Arsenal, Ange ball continuing to win everyone over, and are Chelsea finally confirmed as being well and truly in the mud? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In a world that constantly demands our attention and energy, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and burnt out. But by turning to God and His promises, we can find the peace and rest that our souls so desperately need. Join Layna and I as we dive into this and discover the transformative power of resting in God. Walk away with tangible things you can use today to stop the overwhelm and step into his REST.   BIO: Pastors wife & music director at The Life Church of Glenview, IL (Chicagoland area). My husband's name is Anthony LoCascio. We have 3 girls. Annabella, 16. Sophia (Fia), 14, and Gianna, 9. I was raised on and off on the missions field, in El Salvador, Costa Rica & Guatemala. My parents are missionary evangelists, and continue to travel worldwide. After adulthood I did missionary work as well before marrying and moving to Chicago-Area. My husband was born and raised here, even though his parents are both from Sicily, Italy. They spoke Italian in the home, so we are exposing our daughters to Spanish and Italian.    Connect With Layna: https://thelifechurchofglenview.org (our church website) https://www.youtube.com/live/Y_zO5HvHfP0?feature=share 

This week we are joined by previous guest and friend of the pod Anthony Locascio to chat about the prequel(ish) to Banshees of Inishirin - it's IN BRUGES! Follow Anthony on Instagram HERE Check out Bec's shows in Melbourne HERE and HERE See Bec in Sydney HERE and HERE SUPPORT THE SHOW: Apple Podcasts GOLD CLASS Spotify Premium GOLD CLASS Patreon GOLD CLASS Leave a 5 STAR review here Buy Merch here And a Kumite to you! For partnership enquiries please contact alex@dm.org.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ένας από τους καλύτερους stand up κωμικούς της Αυστραλίας σήμερα είναι ο συμπάροικος Anthony Locascio, ο οποίος τις προσεχείς ημέρες εμφανίζεται στην Μελβούρνη.

Banger ep this week again as returning king Anthony Locascio joins us to talk all about his family history in Sicily. Anthony tells us a story about going out to dinner with a made man, we learn all about Sicilian grudges, we discuss famous Sicilian Australians and how Anthony kept up a lie about being related to a famous figure for several years. We also dig into the legend behind Moors Heads Vases which are a staple of Sicilian architecture, and of course we dedicate a hefty chunk to the famous Sicilian Mafioso. This one has the riffs, the info, the goss, everything. Get it on all pod apps. You can also buy our sick t-shirts and more from the link below! Give it a listen, send it to your friends, leave a 5 star review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. https://linktr.ee/CommunityNoticeboardPodcast

Claudes and Olan are joined in an exclusive with Australian comedian and diehard Juve fan Anthony Locascio. We discuss Chelsea going after Neymar, "Themchester United" trending on Twitter, the Qatari's making a formal bid for the Red Devils, the state of the local football scene, a new name for Bolton Wanderers & we look forward to another week in the UEFA Champions League! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Black Eyed Peas have somehow convinced "The World" to feature on their charity single. The proceeds of the track are definitely, maybe, possibly going to be donated to a charity but only if that charity is a completely self-governed Will.I.Am venture. Nothing suss. We are joined by stand-up comedian Anthony Locascio. Make sure you catch Anthony at the Sydney Fringe Festival. Get Tickets HERE!If you enjoy our podcast and can afford to shoot some shrapnel our way we would be absolutely bloody stoked about it! You can sign up for as little as $2 a month and receive bonus episodes, extra content and even be a guest on the podcast if you're keen! Jump on our Patreon page now and sign up! Please tell your mates about the podcast and jump on Apple Podcasts/iTunes and give us a 5-star review!Blessington Support the podcast when you buy a Blessington watch! Use the promo code “1001songs” at checkout. Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.Support the show

Pop Art Painter Jamie Roxx (www.JamieRoxx.us) welcomes Adam Ambrosio and Jamison M. LoCascio (HOW DARK THEY PREY Movie | Horror) to the Show!    (Click to go there) ● LinkTree: linktr.ee/filmvalor ● Youtube: @FilmValor ● Instagram: @FilmValor ● IMDB: www.imdb.com/title/tt14767346   From Film Valor, and directors Jamison M. LoCascio and Adam Ambrosio, HOW DARK THEY PREY coming to Amazon Prime Video and Watch Movies Now on September 15. Four dark tales about the haunting nature of man and the unknown from WWII to Alien investigation, finding the occult, and kidnap with torture, the highly-anticipated horror anthology is written by Adam Ambrosio, Anthony LoCascio and Jamison M. LoCascio. Starring Josiah Schneider, Timothy Paul Jobe, and David Johnson. ● Media Inquiries: October Coast www.octobercoastpr.com

At 12 years old, every good Catholic boy has his Confirmation; the ceremony in which he receives the Holy Spirit and becomes a Catholic man. Evidently, Anthony Locascio was not a "good" Catholic boy, because he never had one. YouTube: https://bit.ly/3ymp1to Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ComedyDynamics Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/ComedyDynamics TikTok: https://vm.tiktok.com/J1wucyQ/ Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/ComedyDynamics http://www.comedydynamics.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we are joined by special guest Anthony Locascio to talk about one of his fav all-time movies, the sexy heist comedy A FISH CALLED WANDA! Leave a review here: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-ladies-guide-to-dude-cinema/id1451146084 Sign up to our Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/theladiesguidetodudecinema Buy Merch here: https://www.dudecinemapod.com/s/shop And a Kumite to you! A + B xSupport the show: https://www.patreon.com/theladiesguidetodudecinemaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Stand-up comedian, Anthony Locascio, just couldn't resist having a drink with the Ouzo Talk boys. After some subtle peer-pressure, Anthony gives in and joins Tom and Nick in sharing a few beverages as the stories begin to flow. One of the rising stars of stand-up comedy in Australia, 'Entoni' - as he's lovingly referred to by his Nonno - talks about growing up as a Greek-Italian-Australian and how those cultures have influenced him and his comedy. Listen in to find out which Greek-Australian comedian nearly ran Anthony over outside a comedy club in Melbourne.Find out more about Anthony: https://www.anthonylocascio.me/Email us at ouzotalk@outlook.comSubscribe to our Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3n85GSdk5Q&t=6sSupport the showEmail us at ouzotalk@outlook.comSubscribe to our Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3n85GSdk5Q&t=6sFollow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/OuzoTalkFollow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ouzo_talk/

At 12 years old, every good Catholic boy has his Confirmation; the ceremony in which he receives the Holy Spirit and becomes a Catholic man. Evidently, Anthony Locascio was not a "good" Catholic boy, because he never had one. Follow Comedy Dynamics on social media! YouTube: https://bit.ly/3ymp1to Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ComedyDynamics Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/ComedyDynamics TikTok: https://vm.tiktok.com/J1wucyQ/ Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/ComedyDynamics http://www.comedydynamics.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Huge week this week as we talk to comedian Anthony Locascio about Dover Heights and the Eastern Suburbs. Anthony tells us about the rivalry between his Headmaster and an unknown shaving foam spraying prankster, we discover Anthony was at the Golden Sheaf the very same night that Redfoo got glassed there, listen to the story of a student led siege at a local high school and get into the crazy Melissa Caddick story, complete with a person close to the case releasing a DJ album about it. It's nuts, and this episode is one of our finest. Get it on all pod apps.

Comedian Anthony Locascio is going on an Australian tour. We discuss the Will Smith Oscars slap, Italy missing the World Cup again, Ukraine, Shane Warne, and much more!

Join the Chronicles Tifosi Patreon community for exclusive patron-only podcast episodes and bonus content at serieachronicles.com/patreon or leave us a one-time tip via Ko-fi to help ensure the longevity of Serie A Chronicles. ****** Get your questions in for Mina and Nicky for the Serie A Chronicles Q&A show. Each week we answer your questions tweeted to us at @serieAchronpod using the hashtag #ChroniclesQandA. This week's questions: Hi Mina and Nicky! I have been listening from the start, and never miss an episode. Keep up the incredible work!  My question: It's 2027, the asteroid of progression has rendered the dinosaurs of calcio management extinct, Allegri, Spalletti, Sarri, Jose, even Inzaghi, all gone. Only Stefano Pioli remains, to wrap his fatherly arm around the now double European champions. The seats of the top table of Italian football coaching are occupied by the following; Italiano, Dionisi, Tudor, Juric, De Zerbi and Cioffi (to make it a round number, and because his hair is perfect). Who are these guys coaching, what football are they playing, and would you add or remove anyone from that list?  -Anthony Locascio (Sydney: Chronicles Tifosi Patreon member) Listen to the Media Chronicles team's Chronicles On The Fly podcast episode with Anthony Locascio, "Half Italian, Half Greek, Half Aussie". Find Anthony's Australian stand-up comedy tour dates at www.anthonylocascio.me. Check out Anthony's The Kevin Lasagna Appreciation Podcast. Hi Serie A Chroniclers! As a long-time Juventino from Texas, I'd never thought I'd say this, but how much does Weston McKennie's injury impact Juventus' chances of reaching the Champions League next season? In my opinion, his development over the last 6 months or so has been immense, and his skill set and physical ability seem to be critical to how Allegri wants his team to play. Thank you for the great shows as always! -Nick B Compliments on the show. I have a question for ChroniclesQandA: Why is Jose Mourinho being given a free pass at Roma? The club seems committed to a 'sustainable' project focused on developing young talent and astute big-name signings. Surely Juric or Italiano would have been better options? -Mark Bravini (Sydney, via serieachronicles.com)  ****** This episode is sponsored by Calido Media. Talk to the team to discuss your digital strategy to fire up your business, connect to your ideal audience, and communicate your message: calidomedia.com.au We recommend: Riverside.fm online podcast recording studio: We record all audio & video with Riverside. WPX web hosting: 30 seconds support response time 24/7/365 with FREE unlimited website migration and the best hosting infrastructure for the fastest speeds. bCast podcast hosting. AppSumo apps and programs for productivity. Click to get $10 off. Forza Football - best fixtures and results smartphone app. ****** Tweet us your questions to @serieAchronpod with the hashtag #ChroniclesQandA for our ChroniclesQ&A mailbag show. Links: serieachronicles.com, Patreon, Ko-fi, YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram Please give us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Serie A Chronicles is a Media Chronicles production. Digital content and social media by Calido Media. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Comedian Anthony Locascio joins Dom and Zander for an Arvo Chat! Anthony discusses the backstory of his new comedy show "Don't Call Me A Wog! An Ethnic Comedy Story" and his complex relationship with racial stereotypes in comedy. Anthony talks about exactly what he doesn't want to be called, and makes a plea for people to actually bother even attempting his last name. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/my-wax-museum-690567 (Leave a review!) https://www.mechoradio.com/ (Listen to other MeCHo Radio podcast.) Today, I am joined by Anthony LoCascio. Anthony LoCascio: https://www.amazon.com/Food-Prescription-Prescribed-Gluten-Free-Dairy-Free/dp/1913206459 (Food As A Prescription) My Wax Museum: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/my-wax-museum-690567 (Rate & Review) https://www.instagram.com/mywaxmuseum/ (Instagram) https://www.twitter.com/mywaxmuseum/ (Twitter) https://www.patreon.com/alexwilliamns (Patreon) Credits: Host: https://www.alexwilliamns.com/ (Alex Williamns) Guest: Anthony LoCascio Music: https://www.instagram.com/jspr_productions127/ (Tanner Larson) Remember to make 5 minutes today to listen intently to the people around you.

Soccer, comedy and culture with special guest Anthony Locascio

We talk to Noelle RathCOMPLETE TRANSCRIPT (unedited):We went to theater school together. We survived it, but we didn't quite understand. 2 00:00:15That's 20 years later, we're digging deep talking to our guests about their experiences and trying to make sense of it all 1 00:00:21Theater school. And you will too. Are we famous yet? 2 00:00:28Hi, I haven't talked to you 10 years. Been 1000 years. How 1 00:00:35They celebration? I mean, I know there wasn't a big celebration, but 2 00:00:39It, it was great. It was a bit of a weekend though. Friday was great. I, yeah, I had a great day. We went out to dinner. We had a great Italian dinner and it was lovely and I got some nice presence and it was, it was great. And I, and I wrote a blog post about, 1 00:01:02I just read it cause my friend left so good. I'm going to pimp it out today. 2 00:01:06Oh, that's right. Your friend. Who's your friend that's there or was that 1 00:01:10God gone? So that's something I want to run by you is like how to in our middle age to navigate friendships that I don't think she listens to this. So I don't, but that for me are very challenging and that's just the truth. So anyway, continue. Well, we'll talk about that. 2 00:01:29Well, we'll get to that. Yeah. We'll get to that. So on Saturday I got the autopsy from my sister and she is no surprise. She died from alcohol intoxication. We already knew that or alcohol poisoning, but for some reason, my mom and I were both kind of fixated on like what her blood alcohol content was going to be. And I never really looked that much into it. You know, like I know 0.08 is the legal limit for driving, which I think ends up. Meaning like, even if you might even be in trouble, if you have one drink or two drinks 1 00:02:08For most people's weight, but I don't. Right, 2 00:02:11Right. Hers was 0.46. Yes. So I looked up on Wikipedia. Like there's actually a very handy little chart there that breaks down for you all the different levels and like what the impairments are and starting at 0.01. I mean, there's, there's observable differences, at least in terms of like, if you're hooked up to machines, I guess, and they're observing you, they may not be that noticeable to other people. But anyway, there's impairments that begin from drink one. 2 00:02:51And by the time you get to 0.3 is complete blackout. And by the time you get to 0.4 it's onset of coma and respiratory failure, he was at 0.4, six. Yeah. And 0.5 is just death. Like no, no bones about it. If your alcohol is the blood in your alcoholic, if the alcohol in your blood gets to 0.5, you're definitely dead. So it was like surprisingly so upsetting. I don't mean it's surprising that I don't know what, what, I'm not totally sure what it was about that number that had me so rocked. 2 00:03:34But I was talking to my mom and I was saying like, when I used to drink, when I was younger, I mean, I still drank. But like when I used to really drink for, for partying or whatever you wanna call it, if I got up to five drinks, I was definitely throwing up and I never measured my blood alcohol level. But I'm guessing it would have been, I mean, point, I don't know. I'm guessing it would have been up there. I don't know how you get, how you physically get don't you just start to throw up. And my mom said practice. Yeah. That's what I was going to say. It's tolerance and my blood turn cold when she said that just the chill went up my spine, like, okay. 2 00:04:22So she had to have been drinking a lot for a long time. She did not have she had the beginnings of cirrhosis, but it wasn't even like, yeah, because it took my dad 11 years to die from, from alcoholism and he had hepatitis. So it was like, it wasn't making a sense to me. It must be. I, I don't, I really don't know how to understand it. Aaron says th I mean, this is suicide. This is not, not that she was intending. It necessarily all those, she might've been, but he was saying like, you have to he's does this hand gesture, you have to be glug, glug, glug, ING, basically to, to get to that blood alcohol level is not an easy thing to do. 2 00:05:12And so here's what I want to say about it. She was the fifth person of my family to die from alcohol toxicity. And, you know, there was a member of my family that knew she was struggling with it knew she had gone to rehab and she went to rehab. I didn't know any of this. Oh yeah. She went to rehab. Yeah. And th and actually, until I told this family member that we got the, you know, cause of death, that person was telling me that person was not telling me that she was in rehab. That person was telling me that she went away for work. 2 00:05:55Like she's dead. What's, what's the secret that you're hiding. And this person also hid in her bedroom was a book, the big book of alcoholics anonymous. And this person put, hid that. And, and, and the way they were saying it was like, and of course, should I put that away because that's nobody's business. And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? First of all, I hope to God that her kids know that this is what she died from. 1 00:06:29Not 2 00:06:30One should know, 1 00:06:32Oh one should know for so many reasons, if nothing else that, oh, this runs in our family and I should be really careful. 2 00:06:41Exactly. 1 00:06:42They don't. They might not know. I bet they don't know. 2 00:06:45So this is the way that denial kills us, because we don't want to talk about what's really going on. And so, so, so that when somebody is suffering to the point that they want to drink that much, they assume that they're the only person who's suffering like that. They assume that there's no help. They assume that there's no hope for them. Which really, I mean, talking about this stuff only, ever in genders, hope in people, you know what I mean? Because you can't tame it until you name it. It's not the expression. Yeah. So like, how the fuck is anybody supposed to tame, you know, these sicknesses, these, unless they know what they are. 1 00:07:25It's really, it's really unlike devastating to find out that like, you know, someone that you love. And even if you're, you know, whatever you're strange from them, it doesn't matter. It was suffering. That's the part I think right. Was suffering and felt alone. I mean, I think that's the devastating part. And that's what my father's suicide, the same thing. Like my dad, whether he did it on purpose or not the guy overdosed and my mother country and other family members continue to say that he died to something else. The fuck is wrong. It is insane. 1 00:08:06That is the insanity of this, of the disease of addiction and mental illness that we at all costs 2 00:08:16At all costs. I almost want, I almost want to say, and maybe I'll just say it here on this forum. I want to say that if you're somebody who is covering up for somebody else who is in, in, in harm's way with substance, you are a killer. Yep. 1 00:08:38Yep. You are. You were helping too. You were like an accomplice to murder. Like really. 2 00:08:43Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think that that is probably going to sound harsh to a lot of people, but it's just the truth. It's just the truth. Because, because, and the reason I it's the truth is because if you did the opposite of that, if you said, wow, you're really struggling. I want to help you. What can I do to help you? Or if you don't get help, I'm afraid I can't continue in this relationship. If you're not doing that, then you are. And also the last person you're doing a favor for is that person. Right? You know what I mean? Like I, I have this thought that people at my family think that if we say that this is what she died from that we're tarnishing her memory. 2 00:09:24I mean, it's, 1 00:09:27It has tarnished already because of the disease and the secrecy. So like, if anything, you'd be shining a light and, and, and, and helping her memory to be one of the person had a disease that wasn't there. It was a no fault illness. 2 00:09:43Exactly. That's what I want to say too. It's it's not her fault. I mean, she was an alcoholic. It may have been her, it may have been her responsibility. I mean, it was her responsibility to do something about it, but yeah, nobody, nobody decides that they want to grow up one day and drink themselves to death. That's just not how it works. 1 00:10:06Oh my God, that's intense. Oh my God. 2 00:10:10It was intense. I, I, but you know, another win for me is that I totally dealt with it. I did not sweep it under the rug. I felt sad. I cried. I talked about it. I felt low, you know, that day and the next day. And, and, and I, you know, that's, all I can do is honor the feeling. 1 00:10:30Right. And, and I think like breaking the cycle right. Of denial. And also, yeah, the way that you talk about it, you know, that's a huge step in a direction that is the opposite direction of the secrecy and the like, shame, right? Like I think that shame, like busting the shame, breaking the shame and saying, you know, this is the truth. This is what happened. And, and shining a light and not being willing to let whatever shame for me anyway, whatever shame keeps us quiet. It really does. 1 00:11:10It really does allow other people to do the same. And I think that's the only way out of, of the hell, which is addiction and mental illness. And so you're doing that so good for you, but, oh, my Najah, that is like a hard weekend situation after you're. Okay. Okay. 2 00:11:32So, but now I want to hear about your, 1 00:11:35Okay. So I, it's interesting. I, as I, as I progress in age, I wonder, I noticing, and I wonder if you notice it, that things, what is it it's that they, they always say, oh, as you get older, you get stuck in your ways. And I was always like, that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard, and it's not true, but I think it's really hard for me to change my routines to change my, I it's just so strange. So I had this friend come lovely human being, but I, but you know, but we have one bedroom and I think I stayed in your house. 1 00:12:23Yeah. It was a terrible idea and no, and a no fault, again, a no fault situation. But what I need to do is say, Hey, the, the, this, this whole staying in our one bedroom on our sofa and our, our sleeper is not going to work unless you're a teenager and a small person. And don't mind being woken up at 5:00 AM, by a dog. And if any of those things are not true, you can't stay here. No, it has nothing to do with that. And it's interesting because it's like, it really brings up sort of like people pleasing stuff for me of like, well, if I ask someone to stay in a hotel, or if I, if I, if I do that, then that means I'm mean, or I'm not. 1 00:13:10I mean, that has really come up for me. And someone said to, or I read people pleasing and it really hit home is a form of manipulation. So, wow. So it is not, it is, that is really like at the root. And I was like, okay, well, if I look at it like that, I don't want to manipulate others. I really don't because I don't like being manipulated. So if I see people pleasing as that, instead of just like we're talking about and like covering up for someone, if I see it as dangerous and not acceptable behavior and something that I wouldn't want happen to me, then that helps me to make choices and how I interact in my relationships. 1 00:13:53So amazing reframe that's exactly what it is. And I could never put my finger on it before, because I think, well, people pleasing sounds nice, please. People sometimes, no, it's manipulation. It's total manipulation. And it, it, it it's, it's, it erodes the fabric of relationships and you can't have a real relationship. So like, right. I rely, I've also relied on other people like to say, oh, you know, they have a one bedroom. I'm not going to stay there, but people are going to do what they're going to do, whether it's for financial reasons, or it doesn't matter, they do their dance. That's not my responsibility. 1 00:14:34My responsibility is to not manipulate through people pleasing because I'm afraid to, to say, Hey, our place is teeny. You cannot stay here. Cause we'll all lose our mind. And she wanted to stay five nights originally. And I said, no, no, no. I said three. And we left Santa Barbara for one, I took her away to Santa Barbara, which was the smartest thing I could have done just for space reasons. And, but anyway, but I'm just learning like, as I get older, like there are things that used to be negotiable for me that are non-negotiable in terms of like sleep. I need a certain amount of sleep for my mental health and physical health. 1 00:15:15I need a certain amount of, I have to respect my husband's space and sleep, and I have a dog and it's a whole different thing. And the dog, I brought this dog into our lives. So to say to the dog, you have to behave differently because we have a guest and you're you're three months old, 3.5 months old is also not okay. I mean, look, the dog is fine. And I, but like learning that I have to take responsibility for my life. It all comes down like this is nobody else's life. This is nobody else's house. This is nobody else's journey. 1 00:15:55And, and, and I'm going to stop manipu, being a manipulator. And by doing that, I have to really commit to, to not being a people pleaser. It's really interesting. It's really, it hit home so hard when I saw that quote, I was like, oh my God, that is the truth. 2 00:16:11Yeah. That, that just changed me. I, it makes perfect sense because the way, the reason that we became people pleasers was for our own survival. It's not like we said, gosh, this person really needs are. I mean, it's really not altruistic in, in any way. It's, it's the opposite of that. It's just as selfish as the Eddy other behavior might be considered 1 00:16:37Really interesting. And I think it, it, it, it for women and stuff, it sort of becomes second nature and like, like acceptable, you know, people pleasing does sound really great. And like, you're being very compassionate, but it's not that for me, it is definitely, I don't want to feel an uncomfortable feeling and I don't want to risk you being mad at me. So I'm gonna just do this and then be resentful and then nothing changes. And I reinforced the behavior. 2 00:17:08You get the impression that that person also understood that it wasn't a great idea. 1 00:17:16No, because I get it. I think that that person is just in doing their own thing and isn't, and has a different, I don't know, like it is not a people, pleaser is more of a something else. And so that's why we attracted each other. And so, yeah, I just got the feeling that that person was just doing their thing and like, could not sense. 2 00:17:44Yeah. And the other thing is when you live in LA New York, Chicago, or maybe even some of the other large cities, people are always coming into town and people are always wanting to stay with you and you always have the right to say is, it's just not going to work. I love to see you. I'd love to hang out with you. I can recommend a great hotel across the street. Right. But you just can't stay. 1 00:18:09No, it just doesn't work. And it does, it really upset, upsets the, the, what is it? Homeostasis of the, of my whole vibe, my whole life, you know? And, and, and yeah, and that's just the truth. 2 00:18:22I personally can't imagine at my age ever wanting to stay. I mean, I don't even want to stay with my own family. Like I do. I go and stay with my mom, but I, you know, if, if I had all the money in the world, I would always just stay in a hotel. Yeah. It's just, it ma it makes for a better time together when you're with the person, if there isn't any resentment about like, how, what you like the temperature to be when you're sleeping or how loud you can be, or what time you getting rid of that. 1 00:18:57Yeah. And that's just the way to do it. So I'm learning, you know, I'm a learning and we're learning, what else is going on? 2 00:19:05What else is going on? I do. I'm doing like some intense sort of writing exercises with my theater group, where we started this new thing of writing five minute plays. So you, so we have, we pick a, there's a word of the week. We pick up the word and then there, we pick a prop and we pick a line of dialogue that everybody has to use. And then we'd go away and write the little play and come back and present it the next Monday. So we just did it for the first time, this past weekend. And we presented last night and it was really fun. I ended up writing something that I don't know that I would have written otherwise, like, you know, because I had to incorporate these other things. 2 00:19:50And it's, it's actually a really good way. Writing exercises are a very good way to get out of your own ruts. You know, like if you find yourself always writing the same character, always writing the same type of dialogue. If you get some externally imposed restrictions on what you can write, it leads you to think in a way that you might not otherwise. That's fantastic. And what else, what else have you got going on meetings or writing wise? 1 00:20:21Nothing. Right now. It's interesting. It's sort of like a lull in between. People are supposedly reading my script. I'm the head of roadmap to see who he thinks might be a good rep, but he, but like life, like people forget about you. I mean, that is just the truth. It's not that you're forgettable. It is that we're all forgettable really. And that people have a big life. So I, I wrote him and said he was supposed to read it and pass it to another person at roadmap writers and say, Hey, which reps do you think that we know might fit this? And what, what do we think this pilot needs? And, and is she ready to be wrapped with this, with this pilot and then that, so I'm in a hole I'm sort of in a holding pattern, but the big news is my husband got a full-time job. 1 00:21:09Praise, Jesus. 2 00:21:11I know. Awesome. 1 00:21:13He got a full-time regular 2 00:21:15Waiting for that for the longest time. It was 1 00:21:17Like two years in the making and the guy hasn't had a full-time permanent job in 20 years. He's been a contractor for 20 years. So this was like a huge step. He starts on my birthday, October four. And, and we were just relieved and so grateful. And it was, you know, it's also though a good reminder, like then I go into, because I'm a human I'm like, oh my God, well, he has to keep this job and he can't lose this job. I mean, it can get insane. So I'm really telling myself, like, stay in the day, the guy just got the job. Everything's a process nothing's permanent anyway, stay in the day, stay in the day. So that's really that's. 2 00:21:54Yeah. That relates to the thing that I wanted to run by you, which is that tendency that urge, you felt to then want to control, like how he stays in the job, or that's very familiar to me. And I was talking to somebody about it recently, somebody who was complaining that in their family, any thing negative is never tolerated anything. You know, it's like any, any challenge or struggle you have is like, you have to stiff upper lip it to the point that this person doesn't feel like they can ever say, I mean, even something simple, like 1 00:22:42I don't like this of like, 2 00:22:44Yeah, I don't. Yeah. It's like, well, but you have food and you you're going to be grateful for it. So, and she was, she was telling me that, you know, there was this long period of time actually, where she hadn't had a job and then she got a job and she hated the job. I mean, she wasn't quitting it, but she, she hated the job. And whenever she would say anything to her family about it, they would say, yeah, but you're really grateful. You have the job. Right. And for a while, she was like, oh yeah, you know, she's feeling badly that she shouldn't have any bad feelings about it. The thing about feelings is you just don't get to decide what they are. I wish you could. I really wish you brought program. 2 00:23:27And just say like, no, Siri, I don't want to have this feeling right now, but that's one thing we haven't outsourced yet. You simply can't control it. What the feelings you have are the feelings you have. The only thing you can control is the outcome. And it makes sense. Like, if you think of people who in past generations, we're in poverty, like there's no room for any, no thing, but you know, putting your nose down and doing the work. And I get that, but we're not living in an agrarian society anymore. And people have complaints. And, and by the way, generations ago, they had complaints to just the, the fact that they weren't allowed to say it out loud. Doesn't mean they lived happy. 1 00:24:05Exactly. Well, I think it's, it's just comes back to exactly what we're saying is about addiction and mental illness and everything is like, just because you don't speak it out loud actually doesn't mean that there's not a whole torrent of storms inside of you. It's still there. It's just that you're not expressing it. And it has to go somewhere. 2 00:24:25They go somewhere. And that makes a lot of sense too. Like if you think about how the body is processing trauma and, and it'll just go somewhere until you, you can deal with it. And same thing is true for frankly, every emotion, you know, the best, the best gift you can give yourself. And certainly the people who you love is the gift of acceptance that this thing has happened. Do you feel this type of way about it and it, and it's okay. It's not. And some people take it too far. It's so, okay. That you can do whatever you want because you have, you know, poor, you, you had to go through. It's not that it's simply just, okay. Yeah. I mean, my, my daughter is actually a good example. 2 00:25:06My daughter, I'll say, she's going through what? I'll call a high, a hypochondria phase. She wants to come to you and say, it hurts when I do this, you know? And I'm like, okay, well, let's, don't do that for a few days. Then I, I mean, in any given day, she'll have seven elements. And my practice is, cause what happens to me inside is I feel, I feel like anxiety shoots up in me immediately. And it actually, it took me a long time to know that that was happening. And then it took me a little while to figure out why would I have that reaction of well, because that's how people reacted to me when I like we can't afford you. 2 00:25:53Can't be sick. You can't have a problem. We can't deal with that. It, it, it, it doesn't work. So I'm practicing. I'll, I'll keep everybody posted on how it's going. I'm just practicing saying, I'm really sorry that you're feeling that way. Let me check it out. Okay. Let me know if it keeps, you know, if it persists, 1 00:26:13Right? I mean, I think, yeah, it is. So it is so right. It is the first step is realizing what your reaction is. Right. And that is huge to say like, okay, like I, when, when, when a member of my family, you know, like get sick or something, I go to rage, like, how dare you be sick? How dare you allow yourself to have a need and inconvenience everybody. And that's because that's how I treated. But it took me a long time to say, why am I like enraged that my husband has a cold, like, this doesn't make any sense, but it does make sense because I wasn't allowed to have a cold. 1 00:26:53Right. But this is now that was, then he's allowed to have a cold. It doesn't mean the end of the world, but it takes a while to figure out what the hell has he been going on? Yeah. 2 00:27:03Yeah. And I think the other thing that comes up for me when I feel anxiety or rage, when somebody is low, I don't mean this word, but I'm being cheeky, like indulge in their needs. The anger is I didn't get to act like that when I was your age. So therefore you don't get to. 1 00:27:25So it even goes to someone, a psychologist was talking about people who have, and this was me for a long time in public places. When an infant is crying, if you have that rage to shut that infant up a lot of times, it's because you were, you felt that you couldn't do that. Also. We feel, we can't do that as adults when we'd like to start screaming and crying and that, and that, that infant is expressing what we all wish we could. And nobody likes that because it's not there. And I was like, that's so true. And when I looked at it that way, look, I still don't like screaming, infants, who does? I mean, it's just annoying, but it wasn't, it didn't, it doesn't trigger me like on planes and stuff anymore as bad because I'm like, oh, that kid is doing that being is doing what we all wish we could. 1 00:28:13And they're the only acceptable outlet for it. If an adult did that, they'd go right to jail and then they'd be checked in, you know? And, and, but that infant gets to express that and like, wow. You know? Yeah. 2 00:28:26Yeah. So the only other thing I wanted to mention to you is that I, for some reason, my kids were like, mom, the Emmy's were on tonight. We've got to watch the Emmy's. They have never watched any award show to my knowledge. I don't. I think my daughter thought that her favorite YouTubers might be like getting awards. And I tried to say, I don't think they do those kind of, they will soon. Sure. I'm sure there's going to be YouTube awards. And I'm sure they're going to be injustice. I'm sure they're going to outpace the Oscar. Exactly. Cause 1 00:28:57They're just, those influencers are on top of it. Yeah. 2 00:29:00But so I started to watch it. Cause that's the thing I usually like is the clothes and I right away. Did you watch it? Nope. Okay. I right away noticed, wow. So many nominees are actors of color. This is, or not just actors, writers, whatever people of colored. This is great. Wow. Who the tightest is suddenly shifting. And then one after the other, it was like, but then the one white guy was in the one white girl, one like 1 00:29:28I, that big thing that 2 00:29:30Was the big, oh, is that what people are saying about 1 00:29:33More? I believe it was more people of color were nominated than ever before and less one, the actual word than ever before. I mean, 2 00:29:41My God it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like white folks saying you should just be happy just to be nominated. Look at that. Yeah. Yeah. We're not going to let you win. Yeah. There needs to be some type of like in Hollywood. I wish sometimes I wish Hollywood was just like a company that everybody got like a company newsletter, you know? And then this week's newsletter is like, Hey, listen, we are white. Fragility was really showing, you know, you have to remind yourself that it's, you're not recognizing somebody whose work is not doing them a favor. 2 00:30:21It's recognizing their work. It's not doing them a favor when it's your favorite white actress and it's not doing them a favor when it's your favorite blackout. Right. Right. It's recognizing the work it's about the work and all rising tide lifts all boats. And when you have better work, more better work comes out of it. Like, you know, this whole thing about the appetite. Like people always like, well, but it's the American appetite for whatever. Okay. Well guess what Americans, myself included, like the thing that you tell me it alike to somehow agree. And if you tell, and if you tell me that something that I know is shit, you know, is shit. Then, then I go, okay, good. 2 00:31:02I I'm, I, I, that, that tracks with the belief that I already have, we could just make all pro content better. It could all be more interesting. Right. Did you see McKayla Kohl's and I watched, I thought that was brilliant. I thought that was brilliant. She she's brilliant. And that I watched because people kept reposting it and I'm like, oh, she said something brilliant. So let me watch. And I just really appreciated it. And I, I she's, you know, tells you to keep going. And for those of the people who are listening, who don't know the, the, her big thing was it's okay to, or actually you should, as a writer, an unplug because, you know, we get caught up in this web of re what was the word? 2 00:31:48She is, it was not ref visibility, visibility. I think it was, we get caught up in our own visibility and how many people have seen this thing. And we don't, we don't feel like it's real or important until people have seen it, which, you know, there's understandable reasons for that too. But all the time you spend in vexation about whether or not you're being viewed is time that you're not spending, looking at yourself. Yeah. That's what it is. Honestly, we all are just, we want people to see us, but not really see us. Right. We need to see ourselves. So the answer is, as I used to say to my clients, well, the bad news is the problem is you. 2 00:32:28And the good news is the solution is you. 0 00:32:33Well today 3 00:32:39On the podcast, we're talking with Noel wrath. Noel is someone who went to the dealer school for a time when we were there at DePaul university and she left, but wow, she was there. She was a part of what Gina and I have talked about as a spiritual movement or religious movement that kind of swept up the theater school for a time. And she tells us all about that. And she talks about her writing and what she's up to now. And it was very interesting. So please enjoy our conversation with Noel rap. 2 00:33:16She got a French bulldog named Joris. We have a mutt named Wallace, Doris wallets. What's your dog's name? 4 00:33:26Lucky. Lucky. He's a toy poodle. So he's seven pounds of anxiety. 2 00:33:35That's funny. They say that about little jogs that they're nervous. Little suckers. 4 00:33:41No, I know. I was really hoping that I don't know. Somehow we would look out and not have one of those Yippy dogs, but they just bark it everyday. They just are just high alert at all times. 2 00:33:54It's literally their only defense, literally. 4 00:33:58I know. And that's what I keep reminding myself is like, you know, he's just so little and vulnerable that he has to think he's big, but yeah. 2 00:34:08So Noel wrath, congratulations. You survived theater school. Well, 4 00:34:13Yeah, sorta. Yeah, 2 00:34:16You did. You did it and sort of is like the, all for the most part, that's all of us, right. It's like we survived sort of, and we're here, you know? Yeah. 4 00:34:29Well, I mean, I made my own choice to leave, so it's kind of a different scenario, I suppose. I don't think 2 00:34:36I realized that. So yeah. Say the whole time, 4 00:34:40Right? Yeah. I ended up, I ended up deciding to leave right before my senior year started. 2 00:34:48Oh, wow. That was a bold move. What precipitated that 4 00:34:54It, you know, which I suppose we'll get into, but it really was a pretty dramatic spiritual experience that happened while I was in school. And I remember going to Betsy's office to have a conversation with her because I knew a lot of people for whatever reason would take a leave of absence. And I really thought that's what I need to do. I need to kind of figure things out. And I was going in to have a conversation with her about taking a leave of absence. And it was through that conversation that she really kind of, I don't want to say she kind of coached out, but she helped me realize that maybe this wasn't the path for me right now, you know, because I would have to be compromising for, you know, for what I believed was compromising. 4 00:35:54What, you know, what then I was, I was feeling was the sort of like new understanding of, of who I was and my reality. She was like, it's just going to be one compromise after another. And I'm not sure if this is, I mean, she wasn't like, I'm not sure if this is a good fit, but she helped me realize, like I had options. And that was actually really freeing to realize that yeah, 2 00:36:23You said, we'll get into it. Let's get into it right now. I mean, so our, our experience, or I'll say my experience was w w one day a bunch of people seemed like they were all part of one specific group that was, that included the way people dressed, sort of like in long skirts and, and, and going to, I don't even know what the churches, but, but, but going to church, I'm sure. I'm sure it was, it didn't happen in one day, but you're the first person we're talking to who was sort of a part of this. So we'd love to hear what your experience was. 4 00:37:05So well, I mean, just to put it in context, you know, I like coming to the theater school, I was one of those people where like I barely got in, you know, I, I, I did not, I was not as studious person. You know, actually I remember meeting with, I think it was what is her name, Melissa, Melissa Meltzer. And she was like, oh, we'd really love to have you, your, your act scores are a little low. Maybe you could try retaking that. So I actually did, I got a few points higher, but even getting in, I was like right away, sort of on an academic probation, you know, I was just more concerned with my social life than I was about studying, which was sort of what gravitated me towards acting because it's just fun and play and, you know, anyway, so, so as soon as I got to Chicago, I mean, coming from, you know, sort of a small town in Minnesota, I was just like, everything is at my fingertips, you know? 4 00:38:17And I remember one night, you know, kind of innocently with a friend that was in my acting class saying, you know, let's go clubbing tonight. Let's like, see what that's all about. And man, that just opened up a whole kind of world to 1 00:38:35Me that just sucked me in right away. I big world the clubbing. Oh, I did not. I did not. I was not a clubbing. So first of all, were you, were you in the class, did you start school the same time we did I'm con 93, 94 94. 4 00:38:56Yep. So with ed and Erica Yancey who you've had on, I'm trying to think if there's oh, Paul home Quist. Yeah. Okay. And I don't know if, for some reason as I, I always gravitated towards the drug dealers too were like magnets for me. So I had my pick of whatever I wanted and it just really sucked me in big time. So I had a good experience at the theaters go in terms of like, I loved my teachers, I actually got decent roles. I just, as you know, it was always the case with Noel. I wasn't applying myself, you know, like I wasn't really in it. 4 00:39:42I was just so scattered. So, so that was kind of, you know, that sort of like setting the stage or whatever for, I think what ended up being this kind of an awakening for me. So anyway, so it was my third year and I was cast in a two person show Danny and the deep blue sea. And it was, it was Barry was the director and Anthony LoCascio was the, was Danny. And it was really the first like major lead role that I'd ever had. 4 00:40:25I mean, I'd done a lot of musical theater and then leads in that kind of thing, but a straight, you know, dramatic lead was, you know, it was a lot of, it was a lot of responsibility. And I remember Anthony and I taking that really serious. And, you know, we were kind of, you know, like you are, when you're 19, you're, you're exploring, you're having deep philosophical conversations, you know, and we would spend so much time drinking coffee and smoking at the golden app, just philosophizing about life. And we just really were interested in God. 4 00:41:06We were just had a lot of conversations about what is God and what, you know, and in my own, in my own mind, I really thought that I had a clear understanding of who God was and what that meant to me. And I used to always say to him like, well, you're closer than you think. You know, like I really felt like for whatever, I'm like, I had it all too. Like I had it together, like I knew, and I had this close relationship with God because some experience that as I'd had, like as a teenager or whatever, but that's sort of the beauty too, like before you, you do get all indoctrinated is that you are having this experience and it's sort of unfolding as it needs to, instead of someone telling you, this is what you should be believing, or this is what you should be doing or whatever. 4 00:41:57I mean, I really do believe that it's supposed to just sort of unfold and happen in its own time. Do you want to say more about, I'm curious about what happened to you as a teenager that, that sort of exposed you to, well, just, you know, I guess just going way back, I mean, I've just always, I've always been a real sensitive person when it comes to spiritual things and I've always had a deep longing for understanding, you know, what this all is and who I am. I mean, even now with my own kids, I love to talk to them, stuff like that, you know, and just to like, sort of try to pick apart, I mean, I'm always reading spiritual books and just, I don't know where I am. 4 00:42:50Yeah, very much so I don't have any answers, but I just love to dig deep and figure out, you know, what's beyond and how this is all connected and how we're connected and, you know, so I grew up Catholic, but then I had, you know, I went to like some camps with friends, you know, and there you have kind of, you know, emotional experiences and then you feel really close to God for a while. And then about two weeks later, you know who you were. I mean, it was just always this cycle of that, you know, it was like having emotional experiences and, and feeling more in touch with my true self, but then I'm always kind of reverting back to, you know, behaviors that are typical, I guess, if a teen or whoever, but probably weren't the best choices, you know? 4 00:43:54So yeah, so we would, so Anthony and I would, would have these amazing conversations and cliche as it is then of course we developed sort of a relationship, you know, during the show and it, it, you know, that show is very intense. I mean, it's like two hours in my underwear, swearing and slapping each other. It was like, that was the first show that my parents got to see me. Yeah. That's, that's a big one. Yeah. And I remember it was opening night and he comes to me, you know, in the green room or whatever, and he's all excited. 4 00:44:41And he tells me, I went to church and I got baptized today and I was like, whoa, that's, that's awesome. You know, I was so excited for him. And then we go and we do the show and I don't even remember much about the show itself, you know, or truly having any sort of understanding about what we're doing there or who this character really was. But it was kind of after that, that I started going to this church with him and th this church was affiliated with his, his brother, his brother had, had a pretty, you know, again, dramatic conversion, you know, through this church, it's, it's a Pentecostal church. 4 00:45:33And this older man had started a kind of what they call like a daughter work, you know, sort of a satellite church in Schomburg, which is a pretty far suburb outside of Chicago, but that's, that's where they were going. So we started doing a Bible study with Anthony and his brother and his, and his brother's wife. And I just kind of got, I don't want to say I got sucked in, you know, but it really did feel it, it just felt really pure and genuine. 4 00:46:17And I think what's been so helpful for me listening to this podcast specifically is because I don't talk about the experience of, I mean, I don't want to say like joining a cult because I don't think it's a cult. I mean, it has ish tendencies, but I appreciate what you guys have talked about. That everything is sort of a cult. And especially when you're 18, 19 years old, I was always like, how did I let that happen? You know, like how did I let my life like completely go in an opposite direction? 4 00:46:58How did I let myself get so sucked up into like these strangers? Like, I didn't know these people at all. Well, and it's because you are so young and you're completely taken away from your family, you know? I mean, you're, you're out there by yourself. And I think, you know, being in such a, being in such a dark place with the clubbing and the raving and the drugs and everything that goes along with that, I think like deep inside, I was really like longing for something that was more true to me. And, and I was really longing for family and just something that would be like a foundation and stabilize me. 4 00:47:45And it certainly did. I mean, it was a lot of rules, right? You had to follow a lot of rules. It's, it's, it's definitely a more legalistic type of religion and they don't, you know, and it's not like, oh, now you're in like, do this, do that. I mean, they're very, like, I mean, I could tell from the beginning, it was like, no one wanted to talk about it. Like no one wanted to talk about the fact that women are wearing skirts and, you know, like all the other things like, you know, which eventually you start, but it really was more like me realizing it on my own. 4 00:48:26And when I would bring it up, the women would be very like, hold well, but don't worry about that. You know, you just, just do what you're doing. Just, you know, keep coming. Like you could tell that they, they knew that once you are fully in it, typically women start to then have an issue with it, you know, because it's, it is so counter-cultural, and, and there's some pretty extreme things. One being is that you do not cut your hair because it's considered like a covering almost like a veil, like a physical Vale. 4 00:49:11So there, I mean, there was one point where I had hair down to my calves. Like I had not cut my hair in like five, seven years. Yeah. Yeah. So it wasn't too long into the experience with, with Anthony in this church that I don't know, it's probably even just like three, four months that I started to realize like, oh, all these women are, you know, like they don't wear makeup and they're always wearing skirts. And so I started to ask questions and I really did it on my own. I was like, okay, well, that's, that's different, but that's not a big deal. 4 00:49:53I mean, I could try that, you know? So I just, I would go to thrift stores and buy the most hideous, well, this is a long skirt. So that works. I mean, that's what I like is when you say we looked like we walked out of little house on the Prairie it's because we had like, no idea what we were doing, but it really was coming from a pure place. I mean, 1 00:50:17One, I, I, what really sticks out to me, something that you resonate that resonates really deeply with me is the idea that you were looking for family and as someone who, as a former therapist for, you know, for gang members and for all, it's always that looking to belong. And I'm telling you, if I had been approached, I'm telling you right now, if I had been approached by anyone in your group and sat down and said, we love you. We want you to come do this. I would have done it too. I know I would have, I just wasn't in the it's like I wasn't exposed to it so I could see how 4 00:50:56Well that's, why there were so many from our class. And even younger that for a while were pulled into it. Even Mary Kay cook was one Heather Callington Sarah Whitaker. I mean, she and I were, were best friends at the time. I mean, we all, and then there was, there was other, you know, other people too that, you know, came maybe to church once or twice with us, or, you know, I even remember, I mean, it was like this mini revival was breaking out within the theater school. I mean, it was like, you could tell people for so spiritually hungry. 4 00:51:38I mean, they really, I remember one time, you know, we sort of like posted something on the board, like let's just get together and have a Bible study, like anyone that wants to come and we reserved some room I like in the annex or something. And there was there, I, I feel like there was like 20 to 30 people that showed up and there was such a buzz in the air and, you know, no organization or like, who's really leading this. And, but you could tell there was just such an excitement. People were really hungry for it. And I wish that, you know, the, the church and, you know, the philosophies around this particular denomination, weren't so dogmatic and absolute, because I think that we could have together had a bigger impact at that time. 4 00:52:34But, you know, because certain people were, you know, were more about let's follow the church, then let's all have sort of like a, I don't know, just a more open-mindedness about it to honoring like everyone's perspectives and experiences and where they were coming from. But, you know, unfortunately that, that type of denomination was like, no, you know, it has to be this way. And this is, this is the truth. Like, if you don't see it that way, then, you know, I don't want to, we don't really have anything more to say kind of a thing. 4 00:53:14So that's, that's unfortunate. Did you, 1 00:53:18I just have a question. Did you feel that that buzz in the air that sort of yeah, that was like taking, I wanna know. Did, did they, did, did the teachers get involved? What, what went down like okay. Cause I'm really curious about that aspect and like how they handled it and also, yeah, just that, can you talk about like the culture, like, did the teachers say you have to stop this? Or what, how did it go? Cause I, I was so in my own world, 4 00:53:48I would be, I would love to know what they thought, because I'm sure that they were like, what is going on? Like, it just seemed like they didn't really know what to do with us, which is probably why Betsy, you know, was probably the voice of the majority of the teachers saying, I think it's probably be best if you found a different path, you know, a different career or whatever. Right. 2 00:54:25Because one of the, one 4 00:54:26Of the, I mean, cause what do they do? You know? I mean 2 00:54:29Limitations, if I remember correctly, it is the material. Like there was a L a lot of, I mean, it just, it, the things that people were willing to do, the things that the students were willing to do, the students who are part of this changed really quickly, and it became, I don't want to do material with cursing or sex or 4 00:54:55Yeah. I mean, it was, it was crazy and yeah, exactly. Like, I didn't know. I remember having conversations with a couple of MFA actors and just saying like, what, is there out there for Christian actor? I mean, and of course we know it's like not much and really bad and it's already hard enough making it as a regular actor, you know, willing to do anything and then put all of these stipulations on it. I mean, I was fortunate where, you know, I was so I'm, I'm discovering who I am and I'm kind of transforming as a, as a person. 4 00:55:44And I was still cast in some shows. I mean, I'm sure that was probably I'm sure that was probably intentional, you know, from the, from the faculty standpoint and things where I didn't feel compromised, you know, like I did bridge to Terabithia, which is a children's show. And, and then, you know, under milk wood, which is like, everybody was in that didn't get a main stage or something, you know? So I was able to sort of, I was able to sort of exit gracefully and not feel like I was put in a position where, but I do remember I was in bridge to Terabithia. 4 00:56:25I had, I had really short hair. Cause I went through like the nineties pixie cut phase, you know, remember you with your hair on your little burette right here. Right, right. But I remember, and that was probably part of the reason why I got cast because I had this short hair and I was supposed to play this tomboy. And I remember going to the makeup room and I think it was Nan is her name and her saying now, you know, so we're going to have to keep up this short hair. So let me know when you are scheduling another hair cut. And I was like, oh, you know, actually I don't cut my hair anymore. 4 00:57:10It's like, it's like a religious thing. And you know, that was one of the first things where, and she's looking at me and I'm looking at her like, and I think it was even in that moment that I'm starting to realize, oh, there's going to be a lot of this kind of thing. You know, there's going to be a lot of, oh, I can't do this. Or I don't know. I don't know. Looking back. I'm just, I think that's, what's strange now is that like, I'm listening to everyone's stories about either, you know, going on and being, working actors and coming to a place now where, what we're like 20, 25 years later. 4 00:57:53And they're kind of like, wow, this has been a really interesting choice. It's like a very bizarre life, you know? And for me, I've always hung on to this idea, like, like the, what if, what if I hadn't left? What if I had stuck with it? And I'm always kind of, I don't want to say tortured by it, but there certainly is a part of me that's like, as I've never feel like I've found my place, you know, you still feel that I still feel that way. I've never feel like it's like ever since I left, I'm like now what, what am I doing? 4 00:58:37You know, what did you, when I, right after you left, I left. And I immediately, I stayed at DePaul and I immediately enrolled in the English literature department. So I graduated with an English lit degree and I will say that. And I've always said that that leaving in terms of education-wise was one of the best things I ever did because, you know, at that point now I'm more of a straight and narrow. And I, I really got excited about learning and I finally figured out how to study. 4 00:59:19And I was, I had an amazing liberal arts education at DePaul. You know, I was like introduced to so many amazing works and just classes and professors. So I ended up graduating in five years instead of four, you know, so it took me an extra two years or whatever, but that really kind of helped propel me on, you know, in terms of like my later sort of just love for continuous learning and reading. And, but, you know, I remember even standing in line at graduation and, you know, you kind of, with all of these other English lit people and they had a plan, you know, like they all knew what they were doing. 4 01:00:04Or a lot of people knew that they were going to grad school right away. Or they, you know, they were going to be editors or work in publishing or journalism. And I was just like, I just had to pick something, you know, and something that sort of interested me, but I had no idea what I was going to do with it. You know? So I have been all over the map in terms of, you know, a career afterwards, but yeah. 2 01:00:30So what, what are you doing now? 4 01:00:35Actually, I'm a writer right now. I work for an architectural firm and I do technical writing for that. 2 01:00:44Yeah. I mean, that's interesting though that you you're, that's a completely reasonable career choice and yet you feel like you don't, maybe you're not saying you don't belong to your career. Maybe you're saying you don't feel like you belong in a different way or you don't have your, you don't have your group, you don't have your people. I mean, first of all, did you, did you leave the church? 4 01:01:09I did. Yeah. So let's see. I don't know. I had been graduated a couple of years and I was working as a, you know, like a administrative assistant for a window company. And, and I met my husband through mutual friends and he was, you know, he was part of the church. He had grown up in the UPC, but you know, there was always, I could tell right away, because even though I was in it, I always questioned, I was always questioning. 4 01:01:49It's kind of, part of my nature too, is just to question everything and, and I was always like in it, but then I would backslide, you know, and I would not be in for a while. And then I would come back and backsliding. Or 2 01:02:06Did you call it backsliding? 4 01:02:07Yeah, they called it a, no, it was called, what do you 2 01:02:10Mean? Like when you, when you went astray or something like 4 01:02:12That? Yeah. Yeah. You would like go back to your old life ways, your old life. Yeah. Wow. Because you did that basically like stopped going to church. So you had periods of that. Oh yeah, for sure. Okay. Got it. And you know, there were, cause there was just a lot of, a lot of, a lot about it that I felt was very controlling, you know? I mean, because it is like, if you don't go to church, someone's going to call you and ask you where you were, you know, or, you know, it was just like serious business, your church life and your church, family is all encompassing and there really isn't room or time for anything else. 4 01:03:02Was there any money? A lot of money? No, no, nothing like that. And then what did people do in terms of like jobs? Did they do all kinds of jobs. Cause you're saying it's all encompassing. Did you have to get a certain kind of job or? Oh no. No. I mean you, yeah. I mean, no, you, you know, you're living your life, but I'm saying it's like, you know, it's it's church on Wednesdays and then, you know, two services on Sunday, but then there's also all of these midweek things, like maybe you're doing two Bible studies, you know, on or you're involved in. 4 01:03:45I don't know. You're just, there's always something I just felt like, you know, so there just isn't a lot of time for strain, right. Because you're just, it's, you know, you're always with the same people. But so anyway, when I met, when I met my husband, first of all, he, he was going to a different church, but within that same denomination and the church, you know, every church has its own kind of flavor and maybe rules too, you know, more strict or more lenient or whatever. 4 01:04:27And I just felt like he was also like, he was an intellectual, he was okay with questioning things, you know? And so we sort of connected on that level. And even from the very beginning, I just felt like this is someone that I don't want to say, like we're gonna escape together. Like it wasn't that dramatic, please understand. But I just felt like this is someone that I'm like, I'm going to be safe with and that we're going to be going on this journey together. 4 01:05:12Interesting. And that we, you know, I just had that deep sense from the very beginning. And we did, I mean, we did question a lot of things, but we, you know, we stayed in it for a long time, but yeah, we were living in, in Chicago, that's where he was born and raised. And when I was pregnant with my second child, we ended up moving to Minnesota. So back to my hometown and it was kind of there that we started to kind of break away. I mean, there was a church here that we could have gone to and we, and we did for a little while, but we just started to realize, you know, we're living two different lives and it's not, it's not who we really are or how we really believe anymore. 4 01:06:03So yeah. So it's been a long journey. 2 01:06:06Other people, I don't remember if other people cause like Heather Callington was an R year, she stayed all the way through. She graduated. Did other people leave the program that you know of? 4 01:06:17Well, Anthony did. Yeah. Yeah. He and I left at the same time. Yeah. And he's 2 01:06:22Still, I think he might still be a part of that church. 4 01:06:26Yeah. Yeah. He pastors a church actually in the suburbs. Yeah. Okay. 2 01:06:31So that, that does mean though, that there are people who stayed and presumably kept their faith, you know, and figured out a way to make it work at the theater school. Through, through graduation. 4 01:06:50Yeah. Yeah. I suppose I think Heather really is the only one. Yeah. 2 01:06:56Oh, because maybe what you're saying too is like, after you and Anthony left Anthony, by the way, so charismatic, it makes sense that he would have been kind of the leading the effort on this after he left, maybe it kind of died out at the theater school or do you know? I think 4 01:07:13So. Wow. 1 01:07:16I was there any, you know, it's from the little I know about that church that, and maybe I'm wrong. So please tell me, but like, it seems like it's theatrical in its own way. Is that, is that accurate? That there's like a theatrical vibe to it. So it's kind of interesting that you guys, that you were actors and then this church, it's not just like, you know, the, the Unitarian church or something, which is by the way I've, I've been to, and I fell asleep like six times, this is more like, right. It, it offered, it must have offered some kind of fix of the theatrical. Did it, or am I just totally? 4 01:07:57Oh, for sure. I mean, it's a very emotional experience, you know, and that is part of that's part of what I think draws people in is there's, there's like an alter call you at the end of every service where it's designed to invoke a lot of emotion, you know? And if like, if everyone's not crying at the end, then it wasn't as successful, you know? And at some point, 1 01:08:32Which by the way is like acting class, I'm just saying it's very similar to acting class. So a lot of times theater schools and the rehearsal processes are, if the people, if no one cries, did we really do good work that day? I'm just, there's a lot of similarities. So it makes sense to me that it's just like, it's sort of in the name of God versus in the name of the theater, but it's, it's a similar vibe, man. It's a similar, I've seen, you know, like from watching movies and there will be blood and things like that. Like watching, watching that kind of yeah. Emotional response. That's what we're all looking for, dude. Like that's the thing. So it happened to be in Schomburg with people, but it could be anywhere. 1 01:09:16So I just, I really want to sort of emphasize and like say that like I, in the core of my being get how that I might have taken this path too, and that it is, it's just, I just, we're all looking for a home, like, okay, we're all looking for an emotional home where we can feel like we belong and this has happened to be in a church. But I mean, it's just, so anyway, that's what I want him to say. Cause I was like, oh, these are the there's similar. It's similar theatrical. 2 01:09:49Yeah. And, and all, and we've talked to many times on this podcast about how people find theater school. Well, people go to college in general to, in part to find themselves, but there is something specific about theater school. And I think it might actually be for people who are going into acting. I don't know who I am. I don't know how I feel. Let me just go ahead and learn how to be somebody else, you know, for awhile, because maybe through, and it's a perfectly reasonable way to come to know yourself. Maybe you come to know yourself more through the, okay, well, I'm not that that's not who I am. It's not that I'm trying on all these different selves and you know, until I find the one that fits. 4 01:10:33Yeah. Yeah. Well, and I think about too, you know, kind of like how you guys have talked about your are you're so raw at that point, right? Like I had been through two, two and a half years of that sort of stripping down process and now I'm so open to anything. And I think it was just the perfect scenario for me to get swept in, swept up into something like that, that, you know, touches on so many different senses. Right. 4 01:11:13And especially that emotional component. I mean, it was just, yeah, but it's like, I was, I was hesitant honestly, to come on, like, and that's why I had not responded to your emails initially because I was like really humming and high and about whether or not I wanted to talk about it because it's like, although it was, it was, you know, it was sort of a bizarre experience. It was something that happened and it has shaped me and it, in a lot of ways it shaped me for the better, you know, I mean, it really helped me get my act together because I was out of control and, and I keep thinking too, even though there's always this, like what if in my head I'm like, yeah, but what did it prevent me also from experiencing? 4 01:12:07Because if I had gone down that path and ended up in LA and I mean, I was just so naive and so willing to try anything that I'm just, I don't know. It sort of scares me even now when I think about how did I walk out of some of those situations I put myself in, you know, through my club years that I walked out like alive without major trauma or when you do it, a lot of drugs is that what was happening? A lot of drugs, a lot of guys, you know, I mean, it was just not a healthy situation 2 01:12:51Becoming part of the church change any of the relationships with people that you had at the theater school. 4 01:12:59Definitely. Yeah. You know, unfortunately, and, and now what, like looking back, I can understand it because I mean, jeez was like, it did seem like overnight, all of a sudden there was this like group of kids that was just all Jesus freaks, you know? But there were some people that I would've considered pretty close friends that just like cut us off. Like literally wouldn't speak to us. But then there were other people that, you know, just remained true friends and you know, didn't quite understand it, but we're like, whatever, you know, if it's good for you, then that's good. 4 01:13:45You know, I think that's the one thing that I probably regret though, is that, you know, like people walk away from their college experience, like, like you too, you know, and you've known each other since you were 18. And because of the way that I left and, you know, the situation that I was in, I was, I really sort of like cut myself off from a lot of people. And so I just haven't had that same, like, you know, close people that I've known since college, or even been able to like rehash some of these things. That's, what's been so cool about listening to this podcast as a sort of putting pieces to the puzzle together, you know, that I haven't been able to talk about with anyone because I haven't kept in conversation with anybody, you know, over all those 2 01:14:39Touch with anyone that was in the church. I mean, you said, you know, Anthony's is still the church. Do you keep in touch with any of like the Sarah Whitaker's or the, 4 01:14:50You know, we've connected a little bit through social media, but, but not really. Not really, no. 2 01:14:58I'm just sitting here trying to think about, I mean, you and I didn't have a friendship per se, but I, I w I guess the only person in that group that I had a friendship with was Anthony. I don't remember the timing. I wasn't a quasi relationship with him. I 4 01:15:19Feel like I remember it 2 01:15:21Must've been, maybe I, maybe I blame. But when I think about why I would, I was rejecting of people who had become part of that group, all the only thing I can come up with is fear. It's not like anybody started treating me differently. It's not like it was really no skin off my nose that people joined a church. I don't know why I had a problem with it. Actually. Maybe it just, I think it scared me. It seemed sudden, and I didn't really know if it was, I didn't know what kind of church it was. 2 01:16:02I didn't know what it was asking people to do. So actually, you, you, 4 01:16:07Well, I can't blame you for being, I mean, I would have been the same way, you know? I mean, and plus we were just, I think about some of the things that I did, you know, like, I remember we had this one assignment in some acting class where you were supposed to get up and it was just like, sort of like a comedic thing you were supposed to get up. And in one breath, like say all of the expletives that you could, you know, you know, like, like you see that in like a movie, you know, like a Chevy chase scene or something. And, and so I'm sitting there and I'm going, oh my gosh, what am I going to do? 4 01:16:47You know? And I get up and I just, at the top of my lungs scream, I hate you devil What, you know, and actually looking back now, I'm just like, dang Noel. That was really bold of you. I can't imagine something like that now. 1 01:17:10You know, the one thing 4 01:17:11That, you know, but as another classmate, I'm sure they were just like, what? 1 01:17:17Well, first of all, that's a dumb, dumb assignment. I just have to be honest like that. Okay. Let's just, but that's just my judgment about the assignment. But also then knowing that like, look, I think I remember I was away. I think I was not in school when this went down, I had taken a leave of absence, I think. Right. Cause it was right before 4 01:17:39Ready with Nicholas cage. I remember that rumor 1 01:17:43Mill. That's hilarious. You hear that's hilarious. 4 01:17:46Yeah. You were like a unicorn. That's hilarious. 1 01:17:50Meanwhile, I'm like drinking myself to jump over here. But anyway, that's funny, 4 01:17:55Jen is a personal assistant to Nicholas cage. Like I was like the top, you know, like we couldn't believe 1 01:18:04Meanwhile I was, I was miserable, but anyway, so all right. And we, we all were in some ways, but the other thing I'm realizing is that it does take a certain amount of chutzpah to be like, I am going to bel

Azzurri (01:13) - Kessié (10:29) - Game Picks w/ Thousand Names (19:10) - Milan w/ Alessandro Jacobone (24:49) - Juve/Ronaldo w/ Anthony Locascio (1:14:21) - Michael K Williams (1:29:53) ... and more!

In this episode I am joined with the talented comedian Anthony Locascio for a conversation around the female version of a narcissistic abuser. As we get deeper in the conversation, we start asking ourselves if we are narcissist ourselves ? What constitutes a narcissist and how do you look at yourself to see if you have tendencies or if you are acting out of a reaction from past trauma.

Join Maria as she discusses giardinera, the famous "garden in a jar" that is amazing for a snack, toppings or more! Joining her is Anthony LoCascio, writer and attorney, to talk about "A Message From Overseas," a book chronicling the tales of life learned from his grandmother. Learn more about the book here. Enter, "The Maria Liberati Show," based on her travels, as well as her Gourmand World Award-winning book series, "The Basic Art of Italian Cooking," and "The Basic Art of..." Find out more on https://www.marialiberati.com ----- Intro music: "A Quick Coffee" by Borrtex - available via Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/us/ Outro music: "First Day of Spring" by David Hilowitz - available via Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/us/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/maria-liberati/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/maria-liberati/support