A Buffy the Vampire Slayer rewatch and discussion podcast. Only slightly off the rails.
Amanda Chronister and Lydia Mattson
In this "back from the dead" episode of Fire, Bad Tree Pretty, your real trash hosts discuss episode 20 of season 3 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "The Prom." It's very and revoltingly hauuughtt.
We're back with another blast from the past! In this episode that was recorded in November 2019 - such simple times - your hosts discuss S03E18 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Earshot." It gets surprisingly dick-centric. Points of interest: secrets of healthy skin, oops! no mouth, patriarchy revenge movies, "smootched," SPORTS!, put it in your glove load, further exploration of the happiness clause, demons love to exaggerate, Horny Lydia returns, Cordelia’s delicious transparency, Google corner: tree smells, serial killer profiles, a tasteful coming-out announcement, Willow and her bucket hat, just the worst stunt double, irresistible jello, the evil men do, fuckin' Helen, and the well-known idiom "an apple a day fucks your mother."
HELLO, DO YOU REMEMBER US? In this episode that hopped in a time machine from November 2019, your terrible garbage hosts discuss S03E17 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Enemies." Points of interest: La Banquet d’Amelia fanfic, Angel's hobbies, foreshadowing leather of evil, a big juicy wink, essence of leprechaun, the seductive power of a wet willy, Giles eats a banana, Wes and Cordelia’s first date at Arby’s, the uptuck, no haggling only stabbing, the mayor tries to pimp out his daughter figure, Cordelia’s hormones have entered the chat, the spiderweb shirt debate, pinky rings, weirdly prudish transcripts, the 24 hour hall of records, the shackle shack is recession-proof, the Buffy/Faith kiss on the lips we couldn’t handle, Xander’s punch karma, elections in Sunnydale, and platonic bondage.
In this extremely belated episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E16 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Doppelgangland." Points of interest: The Hoff, Why and how is Anya still going to high school?, Google corner: TATs, projectile pencils, yelling about the black arts in public spaces, The Sunnydale High School Breeding Program, Push It Gently, Willow’s style theme is "fuzzy,", Giles and his lollipop, Yampire Willow, even... OLD PEOPLE, a little part of Angel wants to be the Dingoes roadie, Willow’s undercover op/therapy session, hands in new places, Percival Douchebag the Third, just the grossest trivia, dressed to seduce a book, a wank of watchers, and our most burning question: where does Anya live??
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E15 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Consequences." Points of interest: bloats & floats 101, adult baby play, let's discuss murder in public, Lydia explains horror movies, lying is not a Slayer power, the transcript (and Wes) gets creepy, the ol' fuck n' roll, I like my women like I like the end of Temple of Doom, Detective Sunnydale, some light b&e, that 50's dad vibe, stress-related yeast infections, the tears of Colonel Buffington, leave monkeys out of this, we are scarred anew by the Faith/Xander incident, Vampire Willow + Vampire Faith = we ship it, her ass was giving me those bedroom eyes, felled by macrame, OJ simpson slammers, and moon bathing.
Hello, we're back from the dead with an episode that we recorded on the goddamn FOURTH OF JULY. Yes, we are trash podcasters. Join us anyway, as we discuss S03E14 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Bad Girls." Points of interest: Wesley Wyndham booty, fuck marry kill comic strips, Sunnydale is a one detective town, Allan’s backstory, let’s do a boney, weird biblical wine bottle corner, Faith’s tinder profile, Vince Vaughnofrio, gyrating with abandon, flapping it, farmer tom’s rickety airfield, the logistics of breaking a vampire’s neck, diet waffles, Ladle Boy, the gang's Hogwarts houses, and fat shaming.
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E13, "The Zeppo." Points of interest: the sisterhood of the traveling apocalypse, bayonette babies, our delicate boy, Giles knows superman but I don’t, form of: Douglas, the down under candy, did I mention he’s large?, ass-shaped threats, Cordelia shops at Marm Stride, Geraldine Hillcroft blocked the ERA, Lydia has sex Tourettes, official pod-stance: anti-trim, hardened detective Xander, Buffy’s human-sized barbie dress, if the apocalypse comes lose my number, Giles vs Sassy Cloud, more questions about the curse, gimme a six pack of girls, Faith punches Xander’s v-card, various raves, Oz found a clue!, a vibrator shaped like hot wheels, calling bullshit on Cordelia knowing who Zeppo Marx is, dude, where’s my husband?, and pyJNCOS.
YOUR PRODIGAL HOSTS RETURN... with an episode that was recorded pre-hiatus, somewhere between 6 weeks and 10 years ago. No one really knows. Join us as we throw back to S03E12 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Helpless." Points of interest: it's Bad Dad Week, Hank’s quarterly projections, Buffy calls her dad handsome and we vomit to death, sexual tension with bread, we solve the curse, amethyst breath mints, working on my night moms, the duck is enough, Quentin Travers: the patriarchy incarnate, a sexy deathday coffin dance, crystals & betrayal, questions re: vampires taking pills, Buffy’s sad regular lady moment of street harassment, Kralik’s hipster art exhibit, I just wanna smush your heart into mine, and Eve 6 corner.
It's bad mom Week on FBTP! In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E11 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Gingerbread." Points of interest: Bang Bang No Bang, pocket cookies, rustling the bushes, #mrsandersonfromthebank, merry go round vs carousel, Willow's secret older brother who's in jail, the sexcyclopedia, Bunny Summers, don't catch a chill on your way to your own execution dear, Lil' Mooners, regular non-sexy magic, the logistics of keeping a rat who's really a human in your room for several years, by our powers combined we are Finger Quotes, the dangers of mom mentality, a variety of corners, the frisky watchers chatroom, and this really distressing fable about sexually assaulting a duck.
In this super-sized episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E10 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Amends." Points of interest: Sir Mutton of Chopsworth, DEM BANGS, Cordelia’s low blow, Willow’s precious moments eyes, Perfect Oz is Perfect, Joyce fakes her own death to avoid spending Christmas with Giles, Faith’s party is from Canada, you wouldn’t know it, Giles is a sexy domestic beast who also has a crossbow, we finally ask WHY HE BACK THO, Angelus’ rapey vamp attacks, a research montage!, the real questions about businessman Travis, library sex dreams, the bringers are freaks Lydia’s bird box challenge, the purest pre-bone stop or we’ll police!, exit stage window, Sunnydale is a structural nightmare, I KNOW DEREK, YOU’RE EVIL, the first blows up its own spot, crobbing, the logistics of the magic snow, how ents make babies, lip bangs, Sorry Bob Barker, you’re still alive, Team Dylan vs Bran-something, Vibrator Corner, the 1-800-Collect sweepstakes commercial, and listener feedback turns into a therapy session.
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E09 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "The Wish." Points of interest: Faith's love of slime demons, infuriating troll logic, red is the color of Cordelia's energy, LEAVE JONATHAN ALONE, Perfect Oz being Perfect, John Lee is a trash can, literally no one wants to see the show where Xander is the main character, the logistics of Anyanka's necklace, the wishverse contains such beautiful garbage, why is Vamp Xander wearing a diamond tennis necklace?, Sunnydale's low property values, that fear is striking name into nobody's hearts, where the fuck is Jesse?, Vampire Willow is a freak, the Shackle Shack is thriving in this universe, what Buffy would be like if she got run through a Faith filter, Puppy's weird pickup lines, we support the mission but not the method, the delicious but highly impractical human juice box machine, will it blend?, blood on the knee (operation!), marshmallow jizz, #notallvengeancedemons, Team Spillow, DaviBorZ, Dead Man on Campus, the blunt void, Xampire! Whampire!, and if you take nothing else away from this episode, let it be that Ted Chervin fingered Ginger in front of EVERYONE.
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E08, "Lovers Walk," aka How Spikey Got His Groove Back. Points of interest: straight to the heart with Spike and Joyce, acting like a potato graduated from med school, Mothers Against Dirty Dancing, a 24k gold puppy, the gift of your V card, Willow's shoe rental fetish, Sunnydale has date rape too!, Angel's vampire senses are... not great, the logistics of vampire sun damage, Spike is a Victorian orphan, free the papier-mâché nips, mini golf groupies, ball in the cup, a loose cannon rocks the beef canoe, plenty of dicks in the sea, the eternal question of why no one ever does anything in a private residence, I'm a cat hair witch, Cordelia's worst day, Granny Mattson-style, FOR ME BIG DEAL, and a lost Buffy episode about an army of eyeless rats,
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E07 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Revelations." We apologize in advance for making you remember Bubba Sparxx. Points of interest: hipster Cordelia, Buffy's secret boyfriend, motorvation, thebomb.beanie, Ms. New Booty break, an asshole for the ages, #yesalloldwhiteguys, P.S. fuck off, basic book bitches, Mrs. Bitchtown USA, sexy couples tai chi, cold turkey corner reveals an unknowable mystery, Mr. Liam Angelus NoLastName Angel, exist stage bush, the other other white glove, Professor Pierce Mynhegon, another shitty intervention, the Miss Calendar card, have you heard the good news about adultery?, the term "ex-meat," Shovel Shack: I Dig It, the unwilling swingers club, and a sexy workaround to the perfect happiness clause.
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E06 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Band Candy." Points of interest: a plague of disappearing babies, how the mayor likes to sniff things, Buffy's thirst face, Scott who?, RIP my eye, Lydia treats us to a parody of a parody song, blatant ankle frottage, remember making out?, Ms. Barton: the real mvp, Extreme Teen Giles, Kotter Korner, shirtless formal, teenagering: do not do it, TGI-came of age before social media, dad style, sex jeans, Juicers, Wawa stories, getting to first base with your grandma, groin cloths, Lydia's cousin was on Wife Swap??, baby pageants, it's all fun and games until you blow your tushie off, double-babing, weird smell corner, candy math, tampons so large they won't fit into our backpacks, and ficverses.
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E05, "Homecoming." Points of interest: Sextown USA, button your shirt Angel, banana shoes are a deal breaker, creepy van stories, why are you like this Jossua?, the logistics of getting mayo under your nails, bunker therapy, objecting to this senior picture farce, all of Buffy's friends suck, the return of the Gorch, parsing the bases, "I don't know if I can twerk in this dress!", panda bear ASMR, the rate of cupcake inflation, Giles' dad jokes, #blessedbywaffles, vegan pause, Queen C gets it done, the mayor knows the truth about children much agony, much choice, and Mr. Trick and Candy Gorch really elevate the fashion segment.
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E04, "Beauty and the Beasts." Points of Interest: Angel is definitely a never nude, so there's a naked teen boy locked in the book cage, parsing the Monty, Faith and Buffy - we’re here for it, graveyard party ambiance, serial killer eyes, stay salty Giles, welcome to the 90’s, where teachers smoke in their offices, therapy corner, magic pants! part 2, his pork and beans were completely out, Shackle Shack redux, don’t deny the power of cotton eye Joe, implied dick, cake donuts can fuck right off, our new commercial for fruit roll-ups, Scott should find better friends with Zip Recruiter, the ash debate, Lydia is in an abusive relationship with her cat, “I don’t like bringing horses into my sex life," state of the pod: not into pee stuff, werewolf zoomies, the gay possum, Canadian corner, and a whole lot of single entendre about putting "notes" in your "music comp book." #shackleshook #qualityshackles #getabetterwallsconce
We survived Dead Man's Party, and now it's Faith o' clock! In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E03 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Faith, Hope, and Trick." Points of interest: Queer as Folk break, shaking off the hornies, Stepford Buffy, Mr. Trick and how amazing he is, we time travel back to nineteen-dickety-six for some penny candies and 99 cent gas, Commandant Tingles, Buffy is betrayed by her face holes, George Michael Dance Break, we discover Lydia's attraction to the archetype of Business Douche, LET GILES KAYAK, Buffy gets slightly Single White Slayer-ed, Scott Hope is ignorant of normal relationship timelines and also is a homewrecker, Buffy spills all the beans about Angel and we hope everyone feels like garbage monsters now, it's raining naked vampires, let it flow?, Faith's boob curtain, a vagina full of marnox root, GOOP: the uterus saver, and Lydia wonders if she's the Xander.
Hello, friends, and welcome to a very ALL CAPS episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, in which Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E02 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Dead Man's Party." Please join us as we scream into the void. Points of interest: Patches the Zombie Cat, Buffy and Giles’ cross-county motorcycle slayage/salvage tour, Secret Santa sex blender, dicks on dicks on dicks, we desperately need a tea party with Giles, Snyder's tingly feelings, field hockey knees?, never trust a Pat, wum wuming… like doing inhalants, "even dream Angel in hell knows her friends are terrible," Miss Porter’s Slaying Academy, the Oz and Patches spin-off series, "it’s striking and Nigerian... you bitch," old drummer corner, bad mom kitchen fiesta, Giles can hot-wire my car, go back to your corner NIGHTHAWK, bitch juice, and a strong contender for Sexiest Giles of season 3 right out of the gate. We're dizzy with anger.
Season 3 is upon us! In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S03E01 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Anne." Points of interest: our lives are terrible high school tv plotlines, debating The Rachel, Chad Todhunter, Summer in the Hamptons Barbie, Mushy and her meat love return, Lydia relives her family school-related nightmares, investigate my genitals, what can you do when a bitch is being a bitch?, Joss loves a Joan, sexy buttons, hope is a real thing (just like a penis), tea cozy corner, Barbie toilet paper covers, Oz TumWatch, several men left behind, lots of dead man’s party pre-rage, and the question that haunts us: WHAT ARE THEY MAKING?
Season two is donezo! So in this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia take a minute before diving into season three, talk a bit about the season as a whole, and then give out some fake awards to fictional character who do not care. (Please excuse the decline in audio quality in the latter half of this ep, Moloch got into our recording equipment and fucked some shit up.)
It's the end times! Well, the end times of season two anyway. Join Amanda and Lydia for a meandering discussion of S02E22, "Becoming Part 2." We laugh, we cry, our lady parts are confused. Points of interest: unhelpful suspect descriptions, the history of chainsaws, Spike and Buffy sum their future selves up, Lydia is morally betwixt, Spike and Joyce’s Passions reaction series, Down the Well Again, OZ RETURNS, Snyder's first orgasm, SHUT UP JERRY, “la di da, I’m carpenter man,” Sunnydale General: go somewhere else, Angel’s taste in candlescapes is sub-par, inexplicable vampire choke holds, the most badass moment in the show probably?, Sarah Mclachlan’s devil music, Dusty takes Vamphattan, Leisure Suit Larry corner, Leprechaun corner, the Cordelia/Willow makeover makeover that should’ve been, and clarifying the definition of "shitscared."
We've reached the finale! In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia celebrate with cold-blooded jelly donuts and discuss S02E21, "Becoming Part 1." Points of interest: Lydia ruins otters, when we were virgins who couldn't drive, mother grundlefuck, accent madness, tits on point, Jersey Shore, Angelus being a fucking drama llama, who hired you Doug?, Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead, archegological excavagators, fish stick theater, blue flops, Xander descends to new lows, stealing The Rock, G-Town aka Giles Town aka the library, thrusting weapons, Angel rolling up to Hemery in a hoopty and falling in creepy love with lil' Buff Buff, Mr. GQ Sewer Edition, low-rent Doyle, Whangel, the ship that dare not speak its name, PCHOW, and Angela, the very best girl.
In this episode, Amanda and Lydia discuss S02E20, "Go Fish," in which we learn all about BOYS and their NEEDS. Points of interest: bad news bads, trash men, jicama breath, the ocean: teacher, mother, secret lover, sleeveless button down shirts, the insanity that is Willow teaching a class, Snyder the gaslighter, face like a date rapist, that genuinely horrifying car scene, oreo butt stuff, the incredible privilege of free juice cups and nacho cheese, Cordelia’s surprise artistic talent that no one appreciates, internalized misogyny, none of the Scoobies have ANY chill, pee in the pool: who cares?, the manners slayer, man meat, my pet fish monsters, New Jersey corner, and... WHERE IS OZ? P.S. Apparently blue lagoon was cousins, not siblings, so. I stand corrected.
Lo, our unplanned hiatus comes to an end! We're back, much like shitty James is back, only we're not going to shoot you and make you feel like it's your fault. We're discussing S02E18 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "I Only Have Eyes for You." Points of interest: The surprising origins of Sadie Hawkins Day, ghost gun logistics, vegan mention alert, the conspiracy to gloss over a huge plot hole involving Miss Calendar's computer, hot teachers, Kyle XY, nonchalant pre-Columbine depictions of guns in school, the questionable contents of Xander's locker, honestly though fuck James, late 90's pagan websites, Angel and his cattle, truly naked animals, wasps for everyone, "I guess Hitler felt sad sometimes," Buffy's weird as hell hair, throwing guns at people: don't do it, and last but definitely not least, some very seductive mooing.
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S02E18 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Killed by Death." Points of interest: Lil' Buff Buff is lil' sick sick, "wigged" in the wild, that thing on Buffy's face, the Sunnydale child depot, Lydia's new laugh, the truth about children, Shackle Points, Lydia's ferret's voice, green light, STAN BACK... ter, hat tips for m'lady, cut rate Freddy Krueger, peen balls, who was phone?, Cult Corner, and a lot of talk about Ted Cruz's soup. Ted Cruz for Human President 100 Cans of Soup
We're back after a few weeks off! In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S02E17 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Passion." Points of interest: Sensuously gyrating Slayer, bad teen bushes, honestruation, Blanch Devereaux pajamas, Angel the caricature artist, draw me like one of your French rats, pity puppies, JUJU MAN, personal questions, cinematic glowments, Lydia's laugh is broken, Gramma C is a panty tosser, neck snappers anonymous, Angelus is Poochie, welcome to flavor town, Spuds MacKenzie corner, Terminator Giles, Jenny's confusing burial situation, and a Sunnydale PSA: just don't ever do anything in a public building after hours. WORK. FROM. HOME.
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S02E16 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered." Points of interest: seasonally appropriate witch shit, Sunnydale residents continue to be incapable of checking their peripherals, Mrs. Beakman rocks it, grading men on a curve, tiny neck scarves, satin robes =/= raincoats, a woman who time-traveled from the 60's to hit on Xander, abrasive heterosexuality, conflicting feelings, we are here for Willow with an axe, Cordelia ditches the Cordettes, Lydia finally remembers her son's name, and we get one last sex tip for the road.
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S02E15 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Phases." Points of interest: Oz and Willow's intense cuteness, your one stop shackle shop, Xander's garbage behavior, did your town have a "parking" area?, Gibby Cain and his endless supply of toxic masculinity, Larry comes out of the locker room, Aunt Maureen is a monster, Buffy's majestic were-steed, the secret lives of Bronze employees, Angelus and his guyliner twirl a daisy, Buffy and Xander have a weird moment that we hate very much, freeze frame: Willow kissage (!!!!!!!!!!!!!), and a 10 minute detour through the horrifying landscape of Cosmo sex tips. This one is wacky, friends. The Cosmo tips in question: [We Tested All of Cosmo's Insane Food-Focused Sex Tips][1] [19 of the greatest Cosmo sex tips ever published][2] PROFESSOR WANKERTON. [1]: https://kitchenette.jezebel.com/someone-tested-all-those-insane-cosmo-food-sex-tips-mi-1555844714 [2]: https://www.dailyedge.ie/cosmo-sex-tips-professor-wankerton-2476313-Dec2015/
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S02E14 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Innocence." Points of interest: Angelus time, Drugasm, cliche parental sex-dar, emotional low blows, see ya Uncle Drama Queen, lots of discussion about the logistics behind Angel's stupid curse, Cordelia's uber-trashy sweater set, Xander's conveniently omniscient army man training makes its first appearance, Willow and Oz kill us dead they are so cute, Spike reconsiders how cool it is to have Angelus back, Rocket Launcher Buffy is the baddest badass, and Giles gets a statue in Father Town.
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S02E13 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Surprise." Points of interest: wiggly dream fingers, Always maxi-wigs, Candle Vamp returns, Uncle Drama Queen, high school wives’ tales, Buffy’s terrible horrible no good very bad birthday, claddagh ring sales, magic vampire speed dressing, the Juliet Landau Admiration Society, Spike’s unsung and saint-like patience, RIP Dalton, so many questions about this dumb-ass curse, sympathy for the less-valued daughters of the tribe, Willow and Oz’s off-the-charts cuteness, questioning The Bronze’s business model, an extended Talentless Show, and several songs from Lydia, including one about Angel’s sexual technique. We feel a pre-birthday spanking coming on!
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S02E12 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Bad Eggs." Points of interest: Lydia's lost son, the deeply problematic 1991 film Not Without My Daughter, Everyday Woman aka MOM STRIDE, 50 Shades of Grey, Are You Afraid of the Dark?, Wister Mitmore, cute lil' muffins, what to expect when you're expecting an egg, Buffy and Angel have super-glued their mouths together, Joyce continues her terrible parenting streak, Cordelia's bear backpack, the Sunnydale SawMart, the Gorch brothers are here for some reason, and we have so many, many questions about the Bezoar.
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S02E12 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Ted." Points of interest: The Dragon and Tennille, mini-pizzas, we-ing all over the place, 9 gig rocket ships, Xander is a horrible friend, mini golf crimes, Joyce's worst parenting yet, Bu-linda the Temp, fake science, the secret ingredient is drugs, the Overalls of Pain meet the Ponytail of Sadness, toxic masculinity, and grown-up smooches.
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S02E11 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "What's My Line? Part 2." Points of interest: Mr. Pfister's seduction tactics, inappropriate/appropriate IMDB tags, shiny pants, so many questions about the Watchers Council, hate smooching, Sunnydale High is not a good school, that gorgeous end scene, and Borat. MY WATCHER.
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S02E10 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "What's My Line? Part 1." Points of interest: Mister Pfister, door to door dildo salesman, sex boats, debasing the beef canoe, quality time with Mr. Gordo, Angel is feeling insecure, vampires on ice, Big Hockey's bloody secret, career fair feels, Dalton and Giles' buddy cop movie, the amazing and confusing Mr. Cross, and Willow and Oz finally meet!
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S02E09 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "The Dark Age." Points of interest: fist pumping to the Bay City Rollers, Giles-ercizing, Manners Janitor's vigilante crusade, Scott Hope likes foot stuff, Ripstory revealed, never forget Rhino, tater dick tricks, the Adventures of Melinda and Daniel, our dreams of a flashback to Ripper and Fool for Love-era Spike meeting on a train in London, a very special Talentless Show (#justiceforspritzer), the plot hole that could render this entire episode moot, and an update + dream scenario for the Buffy (not a)reboot.
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S02E07 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Lie to Me." Points of interest: Oreo crimes, nitrous oxide funny cars, a human red flag, BUT HOW THOUGH?, Mushy, BonePone, spending your weekend standing in a coffin at the goth club, no sympathy for this dick needle, we all want Giles to lie to us, and breaking Buffy news.
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S02E06 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Halloween." Points of interest: a vampire walks into a bar, Cordelia the sick burn phantom, be free Larry!, toxic masculinity ruins the party again, adorable snooping hijinks, hunka hunka burning dick, the right to vote > being sold as chattel to a baron at the age of 12, a care bear with fangs, the relatable nightmare of picking up something in a store and having it make a super loud noise, Ethan Rayne, Leave Willow Alone, a fine boo, the Duchess of Buffonia is exhausting, little minions with the assist, HELLO, RIPPER, literal wig snatch, and finger popping.
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S02E05 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Reptile Boy." Points of interest: weird movie hang time, Dr. Debbie and her bad advice, The Ballad of Dickard and Balls, that graveyard convo leaves us stumped, Lies I Told My Non-Related Parental Figure, Rowdy Roddy Frat Boy, a non-specific Ask Jeeves search for the word "bent," Xander leaves his shift at Target to soft-stalk Buffy, shoddy housekeeping at the murder frat, our second Big Dick Monster of the series, the speed of justice in Sunnydale, voices we use for our pets, and lots of talk about The Patriarchy. CHOP IT WITH A SWORD.
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S02E04 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Inca Mummy Girl." Points of interest: this insane museum, mummyfriends.net, a man made of swiss cheese, Willow's JNCO overalls, Knife Guy is bad at his job, never follow a whisper yell, Ampata's desiccated flesh prison, Devon + Harmony (#Hevon, we ship it), OZ ARRIVES and Lydia's pants catch on fire, severe mom jeans, inappropriate translation requests, archaeology club/crime club, Twinkie flirting fun times, kissucking in the girl's room, no dance for Buffy, Amanda is tuned into the dog frequency, Willow is too cute for this world, Giles' brain knocks itself unconscious, the whole cultural exchange hot mess, and a lot of very 90's lipstick. Disclaimer: We didn't think about it when we recorded, but we've since learned that "Eskimo" is offensive to some people, so we apologize if we shouldn't have been using it! We're doing our best but we are always happy to be corrected if we fuck up. Why You Probably Shouldn't Say Eskimo
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda, Lydia, and special guest real life friend of the pod Mike Brown discuss S02E03 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "School Hard." SPIKE IS HERRRRRRRRE, and we're ALL horny for this one. Points of interest: the Cadillac killer, Snyder's twisted justice, Meat Pie, SPIKE! SPIKE! SPIKE AND DRU!, pajama symbolism, brass goddamn knuckles, freeboobin', haunted doll watch, Angel and Spike's beautiful love, slap chop machete, Buffy's lemon water punch fail, Sunnydale's manufactured PCP crisis, Joyce to the rescue with the Community Axe, SUCK IT COLIN, Operation Egg Drop Soup, Lydia is pancakesual, and that's how you get a menstrual cup thrown in your face. Thanks to Mike (Three) for joining us! Find him on Instagram @pushingbrown and on Nuclear Heat, which is a podcast about wrestling I guess? He didn't mention it because he's even worse than us at self-promotion, so I'm drawing my own uninformed conclusions.
In this episode of Angel's Dad's Jacket, Amanda and Lydia discuss S02E02 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Some Assembly Required," during which they die and go to Dad Fresh over that fucking jacket. You are hearing our voices from beyond the dad grave. Please, we have one dying wish: lose the jacket. Points of interest: wedgies, grave robins, Yoyo Stakes, The Vampire Monologues, Eric def has toilet cams, my new supernatural revenge thriller: Groped by a Severed Hand, Team Dumpster vs Team Graveyard, TAN JACKET ANGEL, the extended saga of Dad Fresh, Dad Spice, and Parent Co., Xander is the goddamn worst (again), persuasion via football somehow, cheerleading corner, and the distressingly realistic thread of male entitlement that runs through this episode. Toxic masculinity ruins the party again!
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia spank their inner moppets all the way into season two as they discuss S02E01 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "When She Was Bad," along with special guest host Marco Sparks! Points of interest: PLL chat, the thing that happens, covert ops failure, Watcher expense procedures, vampire preacher of the people, PTDSDWTFBBQ, sad boops, Buffy's precision strike, WTF is a moppet?, a fashion fuck you, a Capri Sun full of blood, shoddy gravesmanship, awkward vampire small talk, Peter Gabriel's Sledgehammer, and the real hero of this episode, Bob. Find Marco on Headcanon!
Season one in the books! So in this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia take a breath before diving into season two and discuss the strange alternate universe that is the un-aired pilot, then give out some season awards. Points of interest: weird Flutie, imposter Willow, a complete lack of Jesse, flannel is NEVER OUT, sole sisters, Laura Ashley strikes again, genuinely cute Xander/Buffy interactions, NuBronze, weak quips, that's not how crosses work, a nightmare world in which Giles is unsupportive, SocMed, and welcome to Best Wurst, home of the best wurst, may I take your order? Local Flavor: If you're in the Philly area and want to play Buffy Quizzo, it's at Tattooed Mom on June 19th! Tickets are sold out, but we're going to the 7 pm round and have at least one, possibly two, extra tickets if anyone wants to be on our team! Or if you're already going, @ us on SocMed and say hello!
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S01E12 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Prophecy Girl." It's the season finale, bitches! Points of interest: NotTodd, press-on emergencies, for a weird time call Angel, the Moloch monks return... kinda, global what now?, Bronze roach politics, some of Xander's shittiest behavior, ow our collective hearts, Gupert Niles, vampire construction workers, Candle Vamp's masterpiece, Cordelia is the honey badger of the Scoobies, my son the dick monster, a full body tide pen experience, and homeopathic dick slime.
In this episode Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S01E11 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Out of Mind, Out of Sight." Points of interest: Cordelia is dating Todd Wilkins, inappropriate crop tops, weapons collection show and tell, the 90's are stuck in my throat, MitchTodd's mountainous terrain, we agree with Snyder?, brushes... in the air, women's locker room fantasies, Buffy's bondage blazer, half Snork, how to make someone hate you, Willow's best look to date, HAGS, the most enthusiastic high school class in the history of time, Cordelia's Laura Ashley sense is tingling, rope-based extracurriculars, May Queen roach court, flute traps, the Three Hole Punches, upcycled murder bag, glitter hoses, magic combs, invisible poop corner, and so many, many sound effects. The Twinkie defense
In this episode Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S01E10 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Nightmares." Points of interest: Candle Vamp needs a raise, go revolve yourself, MomStride™, platonic spider boyfriends, how does Buffy pass ANY test?, pantomime smoke break, asteroid bodies, Hank Summers can suck a butt, underwear is not naked, it’s Billy who’s Billy?, Willow learned NOTHING from The Pack, candy traps, sympathy for Aldo, Xander: 1 Clown: 0, the dark implications of Cordelia being taken by the chess team, and our personal nightmare scenarios. Yay! Speaking of nightmares: Lydia's boarding school of horrors
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S01E09 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "The Puppet Show." Points of interest: Unnecessary crotch shots, cat slut celebration, Giles’ thousand yard stare, Snyder and his whole deal, what happens when you go wood, Lydia falls into a Once More with Feeling-esque fugue state, conspicuous shouting matches, Morgan's family lineage of living dummy guardianship, CARDIGAN GILES, horny dummy harassment, basement ambiance, Sid’s tiny little T-Rex arms, very ineffectual stabbing, leave Miss Franklin alone!, the guillotine situation is a red flag, surprise MVP, extreme tuba, present corner, and facial media. Items Mentioned in Present Corner: Little Giles sticker Cuppa tea sticker Buffering sticker I'm a Slayer... pin version 1 I'm a Slayer... pin version 2
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S01E08 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "I Robot... You Jane." It's a long one, folks, so... sorry? You're welcome? Points of interest: ASMR opinions, the world’s dumbest monks, epic Watcher fail, Miss Calendar!, Red Pill impersonations, Willow’s locker photo of Giles, 90’s Wink Cat, online for what, shoddy propsmanship, elderly dutch friendship, jacked in/jacked off, e-letters, Buffy private eye, the biggest boner of all, froggy style, spider-lies, witty disagreements, speak n’ type from Hasbro, carbonated yogurt, corner corner, computer-assisted suicide, demon scanning logistics, embarrassing high school screen names, the dark history of the Noid, Momo & Scientist, my robot demon boyfriend, and lost & found seduction tactics.
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S01E07 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Angel." Points of interest: Darla's laundry situation, children who aren't creepy, vampimals, Sunnydale has no health inspector, our horrible roach stories, Flowing Locks, full metal codpiece, shirtless fun time sleepover, a treatise on Angel's tattoo, the smooch train has left the station, Xander's rampant hypocrisy, poor communication skills, double-fisting guns, and the word "gypsy." Links: EW article from 1998 referenced in the pod The ‘G’ Slur: What’s in a Word? The “G” Word Isn’t for You: How “Gypsy” Erases Romani Women The Harmful History of "Gypsy" Get yourself some Mad Libs
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S01E06 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "The Pack." Points of interest: zebra sex, sock puppet hyenas, cool ways to get maimed, unacceptable food theft, Willow might be a stalker, HERBERT, sexual orientation: dodgeball, when Willow cries we all cry, the tit patrol, hot dog crimes, pig murder, the miscarriage of high school justice, Xander gets rapey, RIP Flutie, duck possession, weird skull-biting choices, men being terrible, and a whole mess of racist nonsense.
In this episode of Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Amanda and Lydia discuss S01E05 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Never Kill a Boy on the First Date." Points of interest: vampire accessories, plunge and move on, Candles R Us, Owen's dead shark eyes, questionable prophecy assumptions, Owenosity, Xander's shitty slut-shaming bad friend behavior, sin: it's a liquid, secret goths, crimped hair!, Giles rides a corpse, Pork & Beans: The Musical, a serial killer is born, tit-biting corner, Owen is the creature from It Follows, and a touching moment between Buffy & Giles.