Two friends going down the rabbit hole of B Movies, from the great to the awesomely bad. Each week we take the listener through our recap with snippets from our laughter filled live watch.
Christmas is right around the corner and boy do we have a fun OG episode for you! So, grab a big cup of hot chocolate, sprinkle in some booze and join us as we walk down memory lane and enjoy this holiday classic. It's Week Three of our Holly Jolly Christmas Experience and we are definitely on an unforeseen uptick with this week's film, 2015's A Christmas Horror Story. It's Christmas Eve and William Shatner (or as we like to call him, The Shat Shat, is pseudo narrating several vignettes around the fictional town of Bailey Downs and it looks like this holiday is gonna be anything but merry. As we settle into this dark Christmas tale, we are given a treasure trove of gifts; a badass Santa, horned up, possessed teens, terrifying yet hilarious manger mannequins, lascivious changelings, the guy from Supernatural that played Death, a husband-and-wife duo we want to go to the gym with and an oddly bangable Krampus (one we may have to paperbag, but it's fine). There is the great bathmat debate of 2020, reason 399 why Snowy should not be a parent, haunted house talk (spoiler alert, The Doctor isn't coming with), beanies versus toboggans, foul-mouthed zombie elves and you can forget an Irish goodbye because we're gonna teach you a Sensual Wine Goodbye. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.
This week we dust off another OG classic! So, grab a whole lot of eggnog, sit back and enjoy this holiday episode. Wow, do we have a giant turd of a movie for you today. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. This movie stars Hulk Hogan, a baby Mila Kunis, Don Stark, Ed Begley, Jr. and so many more familiar faces that can actually act, it's boggling that they signed up for this. The script is so nonsensical it's not worth the two-sentence recap to catch you up to speed. We spy a poor man's John Bernthal, exclaim multiple times that "that's a guy," explain our grunting, find out The Doctor is renowned for her time telling skills, Snowy tells a tale of the worst Santa ever and we have a minor disagreement, Mall Mom or Elf Manager? We meet the cheesiest motley crew of bad guys you've ever seen, there's concussions, wise guy elves, precocious orphans, another guy we know, catacombs, exploding gems and is that Edward Scissorhands yard? Snowy reveals how she feels about these child actors and kids in general, The Doctor remains confused about what is happening, then there is an even bigger disagreement, Pervert Santa or people just trying to keep hope alive, you be the judge, and an RFT first! All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.
Ho Ho Ho Buddy Buddies, it's the most wonderful time of the year! This week we bring back a fan favorite from our OG files. Tis a holiday special unlike any other and a confusing entry to a beloved franchise. In this week's episode, we will be discussing a film from a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. The year was 1978 and the galaxy was the deranged mind of someone in Hollywood who thought this was a good idea. Oh yes, ready yourselves and take a big ol' shot or toke of whatever "force" can get you through it, because this week, we are talking "The Star Wars Holiday Special." This film is pretty much your least favorite Wookie sitcom with individual scenes that are all about 90% longer than they should be, shot with the quality of... let's say your local furniture stores going out of business commercial and starring the original cast of Star Wars and a hodgepodge of 1978 celebrity du jours (or as decided by CBS). Guys, this movie delivered everything we could have asked for in a bad holiday movie set in the backdrop of one of the most beloved franchises of all time. There were Cirque de Soleil holograms, lead characters named Itchy and Lumpy, Snowy discovers her favorite new YouTube channel, The Doctor reveals that she is fluent in Wookie, we get a glimpse into the world of VR Wookie porn and even a song by Bea Arthur can't save this ship from going down. The Doctor is beguiled by a mini Jefferson Starship performance, we discover Chewy may be a deadbeat dad, none of the actors wanted to be there, Storm Troopers are dicks and Snowy is smitten with a young Mark Hamil's smokey eye lewk all while doing Chewbacca impressions as often as she can. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.
It's our Thanksgiving episode and we bring tidings of good and bad cheer. Fortunately, we're publishing the episode as promised but unfortunately our beloved Snowy is down with the sickness and alas it's not the fun Disturbed kind(OOOHH AAHHH AAHHHH AAHH!) And so, while we wish her a speedy recovery it's up to the remaining members of the RFT team to pick up her mantle and forge ahead although we lack her gift of writing. Join us as we cackle through this holiday "classic" boasting a hilariously inappropriate turkey, a ridiculous cast of "college" students, and even a cameo by "Lassie". All this and so much more, on this week's Reel Fun Times!
It's a blast from the past and we are rereleasing episode #9 and man oh He-Man, what an episode it is! Let us treat you to the 1987 epic, Masters of the Universe. Dolph Lundgren and Frank Langella star in this highly contested 80's adventure, based on the action figures, NOT the cartoon. Much to our delight, we find this to be the Doctor's first ever viewing of this film, which is a treat in and of itself. There are swords AND lasers, a hoard of Darth Vader robots, the manipulation of time and space, a questionable quartet of Eternia's meanest and baddest, a villain that would have perhaps been more at home on the Shakespearean stage than the halls of Castle Grayskull and a wee baby Courtney Cox! The Doctor can barely contain her excitement at her first glimpse of He-Man, Snoelle really needs you to know that it's pronounced "Man-At-Arms," and we discover our Eternian counterparts. We are charmed by the antics and eye of Tiny Tawny, almost get real emotional about our parents, are most impressed by Evil-Lyn and Skeletor's verbal foreplay and introduce you to a guy we like to call, Orc Daddy. All this and so much more, on this week's Reel Fun Times!
It's already week two of November, and it's evident in the beginning of this episode we have no clue what month we're in. But let's focus on the movie at hand here, today's action packed, adrenaline fueled whirlwind of a film is 2006's "Crank." Jason Statham is an assassin for hire and he's been pumped full of some drug that is gonna kill him unless he keeps his adrenaline a-going. And boy does he. Cue all the stereotypical bad guys, cute girlfriend, crazy soundtrack and more people sharing drugs than realistically possible. This movie is such a good time y'all. There's Synthetic Chinese wonder drugs, Pedro enjoying the shit out of some tacos, Hiccups, a cool, calm and collected Dwight Yoakum, public sex and a trail of absolute destruction. In this episode, although Snowy starts it in a shit mood, we declare that RFT brings the fun, wonder how many gas station uppers before your heart explodes, acknowledge that this movie couldn't be made today, ogle a bangable Glen Howerton, The Doctor talks Bootleg movies and we make a pact. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times!!
It's our 13th Minisode and we have three words for you... French. Murder. Pig... just listen and you'll find out all about it. This week the Ladies of RFT are classically off-sync, discuss Squid Games (but no spoilers), layout our November plans, talk about our geriatric uteruses, implore you to not message D_rizzy420 and shoutout our awesome listeners worldwide! We learn that The Doctor isn't waiting on the Fugees and Snowy can't stop talking about her disdain for Chalamet. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun TImes!
How did we get to the last week of our Spooktastic Halloween Adventure so soon? This month has gone by at lightening speed but we are going out with a bang! From the man that brought you Society, Dolls AND Honey I Shrunk The Kids, it's time for the true gem that is, "Re-Animator!" The low down and dirty... Herbert West is a fucking weirdo and the newest med student in town. He and his mysterious glowing green viles move in with our protagonist lite, whose blonde girlfriend doesn't approve. He starts bringing things back to life, pisses off real inapprops doctors and the hospital morgue has never been so lit. This movie was truly a-head (some of you get it) of its time. On this week's episode we learn that the brain is so fast, have a small addendum from last week, the ladies enjoy a GOT moment and probably lose a few fans and the OG listeners enjoy a very deep cut. We discover the set had its very own Dildo Fairy, how to flex with a number 2 pencil, all the possibilities of a Bonesaw and blonde girl performs a classic cat call. Speaking of, there's dead cats in the fridge, Arnold's body double, a very Elizabeth Bathory moment, disturbing files, decapitation, Boudoir Magazine Bathroom breaks, undead schlongs and a gross fondling and an oral moment so hardcore the actors wife left him (or so the rumor goes.) All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times!!
Join us as we journey into Week Three of our Spooktastic Halloween Adventure, with a movie so shitty, even the director couldn't help but make fun of it. This week we suffer through 2003's video game inspired abomination, "House of the Dead." The overall gist of the situation: 20-somethings head to the mysterious island based rave of the year only to be forced into survival mode when they realize Isla de la Muerte isn't just a catchy name. If awful movies based on awesome arcade games from your youth are your thing, than boy, do we have the episode for you. There's an early evening rave brought to you by SEGA, Prodigy "lite," Spaniards from Spain, being immortal to live forever, a bevy of really bad boobs, a classic case of the bubbles shouldn't be coming from down there, the hazardous turn table technique, Palpatine and Clint Howard's third appearance on the podcast! We learn in Haiti, you never turn a person into a zombie, The Doctor really hates the show "24," Snowy gets controversial, probably piss off Wyclef, take the stance that it's a bad idea to fist fight a hoard of zombies and we take a time out for Vodka Bombs. There's church houses, accidental boob grazes, a black and white tale from the high seas, restaurant lingo, talk of the grapefruit technique and if we could turn back time, we would change a rating entirely! All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times!
It's Week Two of our Spooktastic Halloween Adventure and this week we have a delightfully bad creature feature for you, 2014's "Wolves." What had happened was...New MacGyver stars as a young man confused and fighting his transformation from boy to wolf, accidentally kills his parents and while on the lamb, comes across a small town full of grown ass lycans who are (mostly) less than enthusiastic about his arrival. Jason Momoa is the local baddie who don't take kindly to strangers and yes, is every bit as hot as you would imagine. This montage-filled film has it all; story lines that don't match up, a drunk bartender, horned up old couples, innate motorcycle riding abilities, lot lizards, imprinting, no need for IDs, a mating invitation, sexy gurgling and hairy orcs, the costumes they should have used for "Cats" or Werewolves, you be the judge. The ladies discover the one eyed wolf is actually quite bangable, there is a classic case of The Doctor freaks out and Snowy is real into it, we are intrigued to see that horniness heals and it's all wrapped up by none other than poop bullets. That's right... we said poop bullets. We'll give you a minute... poop bullets. .................... All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times!
It's Week One of our Second Annual Spooktastic Halloween Adventure and boy oh boy do we have an unexpected treat for you. This week we discuss and (spoiler alert) love the shit out of 2005's "House of Wax." The low-down... a group of mostly unlikable college kids camp out, are rude to the psychotic local and inadvertently become part of a wax installation so large Madam Tussaud would weep. This week on the podcast The Doctor is overwhelmed by Snowy's Halloween decor, we question what constitutes "A LOT" of drugs, we shout out our friend Riley Bomb who just entered their Dirty 30's, everyone wants to bang Elisha and we're pretty sure she'd let them, tease Reel Fun Times Sings for 2022 and have one hell of a ratings disagreement. This movie came to play guys. There's twins who are throwing out some real Lannister vibes, gag reflexes, deer carcass graveyards, funeral interruptions, Trucker hats, the importance of mindin' ya business, talk of love-ahs, nothing is real and sock feet in the woods? Unbelievable. We find out The Doctor is in fact leaving to go abroad, chastise those that don't believe in the double tap, appreciate a nod to the original movie, get down on some twin v. twin action, cringe at glued lips, emphasize the importance of sticking together, learn that if Snowy is giving you a lap dance it's time to focus, get some hot wax tips and debut a fun new segment called "Would You Survive The Movie." All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times!
It's the minisode before the Spooktastic Halloween Adventure!! We are so amped we literally can't even. On this week's episode we worship at the alter of our musical maestro, @that_old_school_ghoul , Nala won't stop interrupting, The Doctor claims to be the innocent one of our potty-mouthed duo, we start beef with Madonna, Snowy's MTV obsession as a child tells you everything you need to know about her now, Angela Lansbury forever, and oh yeah, we go over all the movies we are putting into the Witch Hat. You have all this and so much more to look forward to on this week's Reel Fun Times!
We're back with review number 38 kids! Can you believe it? We certainly can't. And this week we've got a 1991 film that takes us on a futuristic romp all the way to 1996. Hold on to your draws, because this week we will be reviewing "Harley Davidson and The Marlboro Man." Two live free and die hard friends reconnect with a gaggle of pals to save their favorite local bar from an evil bank by deciding to rob one of their cash trucks. And the gang ends up with more blue meth than Walter White could shake a stick at. Explosions, bullets, glossy lips and lessons learned ensue. This movie was a pleasant surprise after the absolute shite we've witnessed here lately. We begin the episode with The Doctor giving us the funnest facts, wanna know where our fellow SNICK fans are at, see a baby Vanessa Williams, wonder if we're watching Over The Top, are grossed out by a thirsty waitress, wonder why he just doesn't get a new pair of shoes and discuss who we're taking home, Mickey or Don. The ladies have a disagreement on how to handle 3rd party night time visitors. Is The Doctor rigid and uptight? How much does Snowy love a Dad bod? We can't get enough of the Matrix Reloaded bad guys, are skeptical of rooftop pool dives and celebrate our One Year Podcast Anniversary. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.
We're back, this week we talk 2002's "Bubba Ho-Tep" and not even our love for Bruce Campbell could save this movie for us. Throw in Ossie Davis? Helps a bit but not as much as it should. So let's just unwrap this thing, shall we? The low down... Elvis is still in the building and resides in a shady ass nursing home in Texas, along with a man who believes himself to be JFK. The two friends discover a low grade mummy is sucking the souls out of the residents and they aren't gonna take it anymore. On this episode there's assholes, hard-ons and WAPs, oh my! There's a sad ass nursing home, puss, Black JFK, a thieving old bitch, tiny trench coats, beetles mistaken for cockroaches, a mummy with flair and Elvis lives. The ladies of RFT discuss their quietest live watch to date, the bangability of The Mummy cast, Evening Shade and get Pointer Sister excited about the music they just received for the upcoming Halloween episodes. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.
This week on Reel Fun Times, we fell on the sword for you good people and we watched and tried desperately not to turn off, 2019's "Cats." The lowdown... singing "Jellicle" Cats (yeah, we don't know either) are vying for their moment to die and be chosen to go the great beyond by some really old cat, but a bad guy cat in a fedora is thwarting everyone's attempts because he wants to be the one that dies? We hated everything about this movie. Not even all the immense talent and star power could begin to save this travesty. But let's talk about what this movie does have. The word Jellicle about a thousand times, horrible CGI at every turn, singing cockroaches and mice, scaling that makes no sense, felines who unzip their skin, horny white cat, Jennifer Hudson snots on demand but sadly this wasn't the butthole cut. The ladies talk about their abject hate for this film, Snowy has a type, The Doctor hates these cat ear twitches, we discuss a star that was pissed his massive junk was CGI'd out, they named that pathetic cat Gus, we tease our upcoming Spooktastic Halloween Adventure, we give a nod to the Crate Challenge and come up with a brand new rating. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.
Reunited and it feels so good! After a couple of weeks off, we're back!!! And this week we have a movie that is decidedly not "Cats" but more on that later. This week it's the Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell comedy, "Tango & Cash." The low down: Two cops, each with their own unique approach to law enforcement, must clear their names after an obsessive and long-winded kingpin, who has had it with their meddling, sets them up for murder. Y'all, we've said it before but this movie truly has it all. Don't believe us, read further my friend. Besides getting to see Stallone and Russell Buns, there's a rat fondling villian (who may or may not have raided Snowy's ring drawer), henchmen that don't want to be there, one of the worst Cockney accents in film, monster trucks, boot guns, the Doctor is grossed out by flavor savers, the return of the biggest chin in Hollywood, quips a plenty and a Terri Hatcher drum solo! The Ladies of RFT discuss which Jack Palance film they could have been in, it's Burt not Bruce Reynolds, we learn about a little known Star Wars connection, can't get enough of these massive 80's explosions, ogle Kurt Russell in drag, talk mirror mazes for the home and just to make The Doctor uncomfortable Snowy is gonna work a high-five followed by a finger clutch into their friendship. We're getting FUBAR, so join us for all this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times!
We are once again going into the vault and giving you the spandex clad masterpiece that is 1985 film, "Perfect." John Travolta stars as a Rolling Stones reporter on a quest to get the real scoop on the fitness craze of the 1980's but when he meets Jamie Lee Curtis, he finds himself in the middle of a love story. Guys, this movie did not disappoint. It has all the thrusting you could ever hope for, workout gear so revealing we simply must know who their waxer is and revolves around a gym where literally, everyone is banging. During the pod we hear about Snowy's white wine party adventures, The Doctor has a change of heart about the 80's and we realize that perhaps we shouldn't drink and podcast. So come along with us as we try to make "eat shit and die" a regular part of our vernacular, marvel at the fashion choices made and try to "scare up a gang bang" - all this and more, on this week's Reel Fun Times.
It's a blast from the past! Feast your ears upon the second episode ever recorded from the ladies of Reel Fun Times! Alright kids, we may have reached the peak of our Everest. Hard Ticket To Hawaii is a movie you have never heard of but need to put on your queue immediately. HTTH offers us so much... beautiful people who should be modeling, not acting, explosions aplenty, boobs, a slew of surprising one liners, a host with the most (misplaced confidence ever), more boobs, a contaminated python, male side braids, rad 80's fashion, a storyline that skips around so much you'd think you were in a Hopscotch Tournament, and did we mention there are so, so many boobs? Won't you come with us as we dive into this Andy Sidaris masterpiece? We uncover what it takes to be "an agent," learn how to cause a midafternoon distraction and discuss our disdain for "naked houses." Snowy questions why Gorbachov didn't do it, The Doctor channels her inner Hostess and we have major areola overload, all this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times!
t's a minisode week and this week we give homage to our amazing listeners. This week on the podcast we sip peach tea and question if bananas are real, discuss our listeners location, Nala chimes in, have the great Vampire vs. Werewolves debate, decide that Doc is a hippie Charlotte and Snowy is a reluctant Samantha. There are Truly Pro tips, Fear Street talk, sex dreams, The Doctor goes Phishing and Snowy throws a dinner party. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.
Howdy partners and welcome back to Reel Fun Times! This week, the ladies cover the 1999 film, "Wild Wild West," starring Will Smith and Kevin Kline...It's a movie that fails spectacularly despite the sum of its parts. The good, the bad and the ugly of it all... Two special agents that go together like oil and water must join forces to take down the evil Arliss Loveless as he and his band of poorly named beauties try to destroy the Union from his evil steam punk lair in Utah. With a plot like that, it's just insane this movie made it to our podcast, right?! In this episode we talk feral camels, Poker Alice, the fact that the Doctor would make a terrible Prairie wife and Snowy would most certainly have been a Madam. There is a confusing sack moment, Gilderoy Lockheart with terrible facial hair, CGI Death Frisbees, sheep sex jokes, an RCA nod, spider cockpit duels and sweaty Shia LaBeouf. We can't even with Buffalo Bill's ear horn, discuss how Salma Hayek is there merely for show, do not approve of water tower fornication and the ladies simultaneously channel Vin Diesel. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times!
Hello all and welcome to another episode of Reel Fun Times! This week, the ladies of RFT bring you our second offering from Lifetime Original Movies, the 2015 drama, "A Deadly Adoption." Let me break it down for you. Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig star as a married couple who foolishly believe adopting another baby will save their failing marriage. She's a health nut, he's a recovering alcoholic financial advisor, they won't let their children of the corn looking kid take the training wheels off her bike. Enter smoke show mom-to-be Bridget, who comes in with a penchant for short skirts, inserting herself where she doesn't belong in the family conversation and much like Usher, she's got it bad... for Will Ferrell. This episode begins with talk of the incredible, edible egg, we introduce you to Baby Diabeetus, breakdown the tattoo game on poor man's Pacey, cannot believe that bitch came to breakfast in a nighty and decide we should write movies. There's hot cop, organic treats, things get momentarily dark, we take a trip to Boom Boom Town, The Doctor makes a declaration that death is forever, we can't figure out who this cabin belongs to, some sexy antics hit too close to home for Snowy and we learn about the very real dangers of diabetic ketoacidosis. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times!
Well kids, we are back to our regularly scheduled program... almost. We are throwing you a tomato sized curve ball and changing up the format as we get deep into this saucy classic, 1978's Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. You see, what had happened was... Tomatoes become bloodthirsty killing machines and it's up to a rag tag group of scientists, military men and one greasy furniture salesmen to save our little blue and green planet. Join us as we are genuinely surprised by all the laughs and camp this movie has to offer. There's tomato on tomato violence, a Jaws reference, just the right amount of music for The Doctor, Pearl Harbor jokes, exploding helicopters, Lois, the Snazzy Journalist and the ladies of RFT cannot get enough of the Master of Disguise. We talk Fruit of the Loom inspiration, witness the slowest car chase scene in film, delight you with our vocal stylings, appreciate a Clark Kent cameo, Snowy can't wait to listen to the newest rock compilation, "21 Deadbeats," and is that Miss Potato Famine 1922?! All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.
We've got an unexpected minisode coming at you guys this week, but hey, hot girl shit gets in the way. Our regularly scheduled program will resume next week. But let's keep it moving, shall we? This week, don't call us middle-aged but more importantly we discuss our guilty pleasures. There's Thunderstorms, wet outer rims, a macabre fun fact, shots are fired AND taken and reality TV, infomercials and YouTube, oh my! We learn that Time Life compilations are everything, Snowy gets seduced by the Aquascape lifestyle and the Doctor is a bona-fide hater. We reminisce about the dolla-dolla theater, talk fast food picks and then there's Lady Gaga. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.
It's minisode time and we are all over the place! This week the ladies of RFT fall further from sobriety when they discover Deep Eddy Lime Vodka, the Doctor talks about her hero Michelle Pfeifer and the career path that could have been, we take cues from our listeners and let them guide our chat, we have an idea for a new Olympics segment, trademark "Knitting with Nonnie" and go on an 80's cartoon rant. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.
Well kids, our first Shark Week Month is coming to a close, but not without us discussing the three dimensional monstrosity that is Jaws 3-D. If you've not seen this 1983 classic, allow us to catch you up to speed. Chief Brody's sons are all grown up and reconnecting at the newest Sea World park (financed by a very sassy Louis Gossett, Jr.) where Mike and his lady friend work. There's a man-made lagoon that connects to the ocean, so you can imagine what in 3-D, underwater hell happens next. Big shark, baby shark, themed sea tubes, cocky Australian guys, atrocious special effects and a baby Caroline in the City making her film debut all come together to make a movie that never should have been. In this episode we start strong when Snowy immediately gets her 90's card revoked and The Doctor simply cannot get enough of a guy that starred in a show called "Manimal." We visit the fish jail, ogle a young and very sweaty Dennis Quaid, watch our stars traverse the depths in a yell-ow sub-ma-rine and are pissed at the lame kill count. There's Madonna biceps, BBQ Eel dinner plans, ocean kink, occasional boyfriend speculation, really bad short selections, a wacky hodgepodge of wet tourists and mountains of behind the scene cocaine use. We learn you don't greet the ladies of RFT with a mouth kiss, Snowy is devastated by some Harry Potter news, we find out The Doctor is a dirty girl and are treated to a Hatfield and McCoy dance off over an aquatic pig... yes you read that correctly. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.
It's movie numero dos of Shark Week Month and we're going down under in this gasp filled episode to review 2012's "Bait." A tsunami hits the Australian coast and our story focuses on a small group of survivors trapped in an underground grocery store and parking garage with two very lethal Great White Sharks. So come on this journey with us as we lose any Australian listeners we may have had. Y'all, this movie has got everything you could possibly want in a shark movie. Maybe, also, some things you don't, but mostly it's whatever is Australian slang for awesome. There's loads of good looking people with hot bodies, truly legit movie shark moments, an adorable sprinkling of freckles, grandma juice, Bob the rent-a-cop, a bad guy mispronouncing tarter sauce, so much sexual tension and is that Dr. Doom? The Ladies start the episode on a major sugar high, discuss hearse banging, go to vommy town, invite ourselves to the sandwich party, the Doctor delights in Snowy's reactions, get into the old onions vs. parfaits debate and Snowy busts out her Cher impression. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.
It's time for the first film of Shark Week Month and we've picked a winner (so to speak). The Last Sharknado: It's About Time. Let's dive in, shall we? The general synopsis: This is the 6th and final film in this ridiculous, green screen fueled franchise. Fin is traveling through time to stop the original Sharknado and meets up with familiar faces, historical figures and a whole lotta sharks along the way. Ludacris plot points, questionable dialogue and surprising guest stars abound. In this episode we immerse ourselves in the Hollywood rumor mill and throw out some very interesting stats. We apologize to Tara Reid, mother of dinosaurs, question what came first, Jurassic World 2 or Sharknado 6, contemplate what this movie would look like starring Steve Gutenberg and learn that purple equals time travel. There's dragon sharks, a bevy of faces we are excited to see, a Back To The Future ripoff, wonder if The Doctor is talking about the movie or having a stroke, Snowy poorly explains time travel, we've never been more annoyed by the word "bye" and omg is that Neil deGrasse Tyson? The Ladies get the extreme giggles, are impressed by the laissez-faire attitudes these people have towards sharknados, jam to the one good song in the movie, The Doctor has never related more to a shark and Snowy delivers a PSA about baby talk. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.
It's here, she has officially arrived, that's right, it's the opening episode of Shark Week Month. This week the ladies of RFT countdown their top three favorite shark movies of all time, delve into all the reasons they aren't snorkeling and bond over how much they loved James Cameron's "Titanic" back in the day. The Doctor shares what she would say to the lady crabs if she were a dude crab, Snowy lets you know what would happen to the water if she went in a shark cage and make sure to stay tuned after the episode to hear about our Only Fans ideas. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.
We've been waiting to do this episode for months and the sombrero just wouldn't give it up. But finally, FINALLY, the time has come. Guys, it's time for "Samurai Cop." Let me break it down for you... hunky, raven haired martial arts expert, trained by "the masters in Japan" is sent to LA to crush the lethal Katana Gang. Throw in a spicy partner, next to no budget or rehearsal time, 80's legend Robert Z'Dar, an arts and crafts lion head, and mister, you got yourself one hell of a good time . This movie has it all! A protagonist who is a womanizing pig, a confusing wig situation that says more Designing Women, less samurai master, a size queen, the widest face ever to appear in cinema, full frontal, a really bad 80's explosion, Jennifer-Jessica of restaurant fame, puns, guppy kisses and is that Carl Weathers? (Spoiler alert, it's not!) The Ladies discuss answering phone calls during sex, make some declarations that are very on brand, implore terrible film producers to holla, we discover The Doctor is a jealous lov-ah, wonder why it's always daylight in the City of Angels, Snowy goes on a tirade about how much she loves cake and then it all culminates in a violent game of got your nose! All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times!
We're back with another minisode! This week we throw some Hollywood Reel Fun Facts at ya, reminisce about the playgrounds of our youth and what absolute turd burglars we all were as kids. We find out Snowy doesn't like biters, the Doctor gets way out of character, we plan a dirty Myrtle getaway and go on a tangent about our ultimate vacation vibes. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.
Today, we have a movie so bad we had to have all the alcohol just to get through it. May we present, one of the worst films you've probably never even heard of, "Passion Play." The plot: well really, there is none, but we will do what we can here. Washed up musician meets a hottie with a body (and a set of home-grown wings) at a desert carnival. We've all been to one of those right? Tries to make shady deal with Bill Murray as a mobster, then attempts to evade said mobster. This is marketed as film noir, but David Lynch you ain't. This movie has it... well, not a lot, but what it does have, it has in spades. Actors way too good for this nonsense, shitty art shows, a tinfoil cubicle, desert ninjas and Fred Flintstone's dream house. The ladies discover our Netflix queues are not the same, we absolutely refuse to stay on topic, decide to start getting kicked out of places, whatever it takes, and enjoy an Enrique Iglesias sing along. There's talk of vaginal wings, hear Snowy not be able to use her words, The Doctor takes TMNT too far, enjoy our abject disgust at adults using baby voices and allow us to impress you as we establish ourselves as surgical experts. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.
It's time for a minisode kids! This week, on our bad movie podcast, we talk about... food. Look, it happens. You love food, we love food. Let's mix it up. Let's keep it short and sweet. We open with a Bonaparte fun fact, move into what's happening in our lives, give homage to the magical fruit and go over our old school Burger King order! We go on for too long about pasta, wonder where our Shitty Kitty sponsorship is and reminisce about our yearly Indian Christmas feast. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times!
It's Tuesday and we've got one radical episode for you. But guys, first, can we take a moment for our 25th review!! We were so stoked, we drank about it. Because we never do that... So won't you come along with us on this roller coaster of emotion as we screen the very first of the Marvel films, "Howard the Duck." The gist: humanoid duck gets transported to Earth via intergalactic pink sock. Befriends kind punk rock(light) singer, assimilates into Cleveland society and goes on a wild ride with said singer, scientist turned evil overlord and a museum janitor. This movie has got everything we were not looking for; there's Caroline in the City, Principal Rooney, a hot tub sex dungeon, lacy gloves, road trips, sex knots, a singular awesome 80's explosion and is that Holly Robinson Pete?! We need to know who this movie is for, find out Snoelle is blessed with human emotion, angrily ask why can't the duck swim, The Doctor steps to George Lucas, we have a hunch about the beginnings of NWA, learn that evil overlords need their posse too, we can't wait to experience Joe Roma's Cajun Sushi, implore you to seek the reality in the film, throw in a few quack jokes and discover you're out of luck til you've gone duck. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times!
It's dazzling, it's exciting, it's VERY sexy...welcome to Showgirls: Part II. We're picking up right where we left off only to discover Nomi is a flip-flopping, litter bug on her period. But don't let that dissuade you, because the second act of this movie truly has it all. There's an aggressive yet jerky dance lesson, majorly queer overtones, lizard tongues, horny monkeys, cracker foreplay, some very entertaining Reel Fun Facts and we are forced to watch the wettest, cringiest, most, uh, vigorous game of Marco Polo ever played. We find out Snowy is Miss Manners and The Doctor has more of a point and laugh vibe. We've got harsh words for Jessie Spano as she attempts to reach for the stars, Snoelle denies rumors of being a Las Vegas Showgirl Wizard, the Doctor laughs so hard she almost dies, Elvis returns and that kiss was just not it sis. We have all this and so much more, on this week's Reel Fun Times.
It's a special week because we have not one, but two RFT firsts for you! Our very first NC-17 movie AND we had so much to say we made it a two-parter. So grab your skimpiest movement clothes, some protection and a bottle of Cristal, because we are diving headfirst into "Showgirls!" The plot - Nomi, an irritable young woman who doesn't know how to give a straight answer goes to Vegas to live her dream of being a showgirl. Everyone there is a coked out, lying, sex monster save one lovely soul named Molly. Nudity, pelvic thrusts and way too much laughter on our end ensues. In this episode we explore our shame, or lack thereof, we ask "how do you like your porn," completely forget the word hitchhiking, and encourage Elizabeth Berkley to reach out to us. There is too much nakedness for The Doctor and she doesn't know where to look! There's Molly confusion, sooooo much anger walking, forget Joanie loves Chachi because Snowy loves Gina, we discuss the fan fiction we want to write, The Doctor's got quotes, this Bob Fossie guy is kind of a stalker and strip club buffets, yes or no? All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.
Let's be up front kids, this episode isn't acceptable or appropriate for well... anyone. But here we are, so let's dive right in. From the director, Brian Yuzna, comes a twisted tale about a young man, born into society's upper echelons, but feels strangely out of place in his material world. Enter cringy, um, family moments, way too much suspicious activity, body contortions that would make Cirque de Soleil say "how did they do that" and it all culminates in a weird, sticky, death orgy straight from hell. This movie has... well, too much really, but let's rip off that band aid, shall we? There's the grossest family we've seen in a while, a suspect psychologist, is it voodoo, a case of that's not a high school party, a gargantuan glam rock mom with a penchant for hair pulling, a beauty mark, the worst butt head joke we've heard in a while and Ted The Tycoon Ferguson. We're appalled, slightly offended and in desperate need of a better storyline. Snowy can't stop apologizing, the Doctor is really not into any of it and we both might puke. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.
This week we have our first Stephen King entry on the podcast, his directorial debut, "Maximum Overdrive." And well, to quote Rick James, cocaine is a hell of a drug... To sum it up, a comet in our atmosphere causes electronics and machines to become sentient and bloodthirsty. Our movie focuses on a small group of befuddled survivors, trapped at a truck stop, attempting to outwit their big rig foes. Guys, this movie did not disappoint. We've got a sweaty and sunburnt Emilio Estevez, multiple rounds of "that's a guy," panda talk and the we freak out like 5 year olds when we discover the movie is set in and actually shot in North Carolina. Boys are gross, this chick is a nut job, we are beyond confused (but maybe it's our fault), there's wrapping paper confusion, tasty nakedness, we learn that you do not say "make love" to Snowy and the Doctor becomes AC/DC's newest and biggest fan. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.
It's minisode time kids! And this week the ladies get real loosey goosey (very on brand) with their approach and questions. We discuss a dirty Myrtle getaway, movie quote-ability, marmoset obsession, we come up with a new show, "Rock, Paper, Scissors: After Dark," channel Geraldo, The Doctor gets grossed out by slow, deliberate kisses and Snowy gets all Dean Cain on us. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times!
Happy St. Patty's kids! Today we give you the golden nugget that started it all, 1993's "Leprechaun." Starring Warwick Davis at his most menacing, a bright-eyed Jennifer Aniston, Kevin Bac's (you'll see), the bad guy from Pee Wee's Big Adventure and that precocious kid from everything in the late 80's. A wee trickster is released from a decade long imprisonment much to the chagrin of our motley crew of a cast. Hilarity, lite gore, a rocky plot and some truly marvelous chase scenes ensue as our titular character tries to get back his precious gold. This week we send the Crack team out to do some investigating and immediately regret our choices. There's fragile packages and competing plaids, we champion for a Warwick Davis lifetime achievement award, focus on the wrong things, talk Dan Quayle, Lucky Charms (just don't tell General Mills), we are reminded that it's a good thing Snowy doesn't have kids, debut our new website and discuss a new dating rule that has The Doctor checking ID's. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.
This week we are recording by the riverfront to bring you the film, Battlefield Earth. Let us begin by saying, DO. NOT. WATCH. THIS. MOVIE. We have done all the heavy lifting here, so just come along for the ride, laugh with us and be glad you didn't suffer the way we suffered... SUFF-ERE-DUH. Giant, dread locked, mega-crotched, never-met-a-toothbrush beings from the planet, Pyschlo, have taken over earth with one question in mind; where the gold at? A nonsensical storyline, too many Dutch angles, the term man-animal repeated almost 30 times and terrible acting from legitimately great actors combine to create the film the Razzies dubbed "The Worst Drama in 25 Years." Even with its outrageous amount of downfalls, this movie still gives us a lot to discuss; the Midori-obsessed race of Psychlos, are there even Psych-ladies, Rats--it's what's for dinner, breath gas and zero profanity but neat substitutes like "knothead" and "what the crap?" There's a guy with three chins referred to as "your planetship," a learning machine, an interesting transition from sticks to warships, we try our hand at speaking man-animal, question their cake knowledge, read some awesome listener comments and make the giant elephant in the room as comfortable as possible. All this and so much more, on this week's Reel Fun Times.
Guys, look... this week's movie is a heaping pile of garbage, but like, a fun one that doesn't smell and you might be inclined to rifle through. This week we are discussing the Syfy Original, "Cowboys vs. Dinosaurs." The movie goes a little something like this, unnamed small town where May-December relationships abound and everyone's got a past. There's ranches, mountains, cowboys, explosions, dinosaurs take over, humans are toast, ancillary characters that are merely there to die, with snippets of bad CGI to bring it all together. This week the ladies misquote Sam Elliott (who is NOT in this film), talk making friends with McRib, we line up future picks for the sombrero, are horrified by the antics of Eric Roberts (who IS in this film), discuss t-shirt ideas, discover that projectile vomiting is not how to win over The Doctor, observe that dinosaurs like a good tasting menu, question if it's Quentin or Quade because the actors certainly don't know and Snowy gets real aggressive with her air quotes. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times!
Today we discuss one of Snowy's all time favorite movies, 1988's "Waxwork." A group of good-looking-but-really-hard-to peg-their-age-youth are invited to a private showing in a mysterious, new wax museum, but what they find beyond the velvet rope is far more than they bargained for. On this episode, we discuss our horror movie survival probability, watch a confused young man yell into the cosmos, witness the laziest chase scene ever and hear quite possibly, the most important line ever uttered in cinema. There's a bummed out mummy, indoor smokers, an accidental boob (but just the one), Cogsworth who likes to watch, the potential for sexy time in a sealed crypt, we discover what it takes to bring about the voodoo end of the world and is that Michael Bolton? We find out who The Doctor calls Daddy and Snoelle reminds us that freaky deakies need love too. All this and so much more, on this week's Reel Fun Times!
We're officially back!! And we are starting strong with the critically panned, "Movie 43." Tons of celebrities, an array of filthy vignettes and three Razzies later, here we are. The Doctor and Snowy discuss their different approaches to a particularly troubling blind date gone wrong, shitting with malice and we decide that we are, in fact, 14 year old boys. There's neck balls, real life Wallace, naked chicks, period jokes, nausea inducing moments of grossness, a foul-mouthed Gerard Butler, an inadvertent 2 Live Crew reference, The Doctor tells us why she isn't into your fingers in her mouth and we find out that Snowy will do anything for love, but she won't do that. Lest we forget, there is a Josh Duhamel obsessed cartoon cat, we have a new outro song and we want anybody seen the leprechaun say YYYEEEAAAHHH! All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.
It's our fourth Minisode! And this week we revisit decades past to make some addendums to last week's episode, Snowy drops some movie knowledge bombs and The Doctor wants you to know that we do not endorse Kevin Spacey. But you know who both The Doctor AND Snowy's Mom endorse? Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn. The ladies discuss who they would call if they ever got arrested, there is Jaws talk, The Doctor calls out Snowy and man oh man do we love the movie Grandma's Boy. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times!
On this week's minisode, you get to know the tastefully inappropriate ladies of RFT just a wee bit better. We discuss our favorite flicks from the 70's, 80's and 90's, go over hot takes, maybe have a few unpopular opinions and have some classic "on sync" moments. Grab a glass of vino, take a toke and come along for the ride that is this week's Reel Fun Times.
Today we take you on a 16 minute journey of love, lust and betrayal, starring a finger lickin' good Mario Lopez... and some other people. From the mind of a bored housewife with a penchant for saucy KFC fan fiction, Lifetime gifted us with this delicious morsel. The Doctor wants to sop the Colonel up with a biscuit and Snowy is just embarrassed watching what's on the screen. Kidnapping, cheating, intrigue, gasps, intense goatees, fast love and a secret recipe that will change the world, all on this week's Reel Fun Times.
Hello and good 2021 to you all!!We are back and sassier than ever! On this minisode we make our own rules because we totally forgot how to do this. We catch up, go over exactly what we do here and have a refresher course on our Sombrero Picks!We talk our passion for shark movies and how much we look forward to our version of Shark Week, The Doctor pitches a new show called "Caroline in the Closet," and Snowy endorses random acts of violence. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.
It's the last episode of 2020 and the finale of our Holly Jolly Christmas Experience!Come along with us as we delve into this 2004 debacle dressed in classic holiday tropes! There's a stellar cast and terrible writing, an obnoxious millionaire with abandonment issues and money to burn, a classic working class family who needs a boost, another round of "that's a guy" and more incest jokes than we are comfortable with! What do a God-awful orange couch, discussions on Gandolfini's sex appeal, our hatred for Ben Affleck and a ratings shocker have to do with Christmas? Absolutely nothing, but we've got all this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times!
It's Week Three of our Holly Jolly Christmas Experience and we are definitely on an unforeseen uptick with this week's film, 2015's A Christmas Horror Story. It's Christmas Eve and William Shatner (or as we like to call him, The Shat Shat) is pseudo narrating several vignettes around the fictional town of Bailey Downs and it looks like this holiday is gonna be anything but merry. As we settle into this dark Christmas tale, we are given a treasure trove of gifts; a badass Santa, horned up, possessed teens, terrifying yet hilarious manger mannequins, lascivious changelings, the guy from Supernatural that played Death, a husband and wife duo we want to go to the gym with and an oddly bangable Krampus (one we may have to paperbag, but it's fine). There is the great bath mat debate of 2020, reason 399 why Snowy should not be a parent, haunted house talk (spoiler alert, The Doctor isn't coming with), beanies versus toboggans, foul-mouthed zombie elves and you can forget an Irish goodbye because we're gonna teach you a Sensual Wine Goodbye. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.
In this week's episode, we will be discussing a film from a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. The year was 1978 and the galaxy was the deranged mind of someone in Hollywood who thought this was a good idea. Oh yes, ready yourselves and take a big ol' shot or toke of whatever "force" can get you through it, because this week, we are talking "The Star Wars Holiday Special." This film is pretty much your least favorite Wookie sitcom with individual scenes that are all about 90% longer than they should be, shot with the quality of... let's say your local furniture stores going out of business commercial and starring the original cast of Star Wars and a hodgepodge of 1978 celebrity du jours (or as decided by CBS). Guys, this movie delivered everything we could have asked for in a bad holiday movie set in the backdrop of one of the most beloved franchises of all time. There were Cirque de Soleil holograms, lead characters named Itchy and Lumpy, Snowy discovers her favorite new YouTube channel, The Doctor reveals that she is fluent in Wookie, we get a glimpse into the world of VR Wookie porn and even a song by Bea Arthur can't save this ship from going down. The Doctor is beguiled by a mini Jefferson Starship performance, we discover Chewy may be a deadbeat dad, none of the actors wanted to be there, Storm Troopers are dicks and Snowy is smitten with a young Mark Hamil's smokey eye lewk all while doing Chewbacca impressions as often as she can. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.
Happy December boys and girls! Wow, do we have a giant turd of a movie for you today. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. This movie stars Hulk Hogan, a baby Mila Kunis, Don Stark, Ed Begley, Jr. and so many more familiar faces that can actually act, it's boggling that they signed up for this. The script is so nonsensical it's not worth the two sentence recap to catch you up to speed. We spy a poor man's John Bernthal, exclaim multiple times that "that's a guy," explain our grunting, find out The Doctor is renowned for her time telling skills, Snowy tells a tale of the worst Santa ever and we have a minor disagreement, Mall Mom or Elf Manager? We meet the cheesiest motley crew of bad guys you've ever seen, there's concussions, wise guy elves, precocious orphans, another guy we know, catacombs, exploding gems and is that Edward Scissorhands yard? Snowy reveals how she feels about these child actors and kids in general, The Doctor remains confused about what is happening, then there is an even bigger disagreement, Pervert Santa or people just trying to keep hope alive, you be the judge, and an RFT first! All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times.