With You in the Weeds

Are you bogged down by the day-to-day struggles of parenting? Do you question if anything is getting through to your kids? Do you feel powerless to impact your child's spiritual growth? Parenting can feel like navigating a storm—chaotic, unpredictable, and uncertain.  So the question is, how do you guide your child toward faith and wisdom in a world pulling them in every direction? If you're looking for hope while parenting in the weeds of life, then this episode is for you. Austin Conner interviews Melissa Kruger, author of Parenting with Hope: Raising Teens for Christ in a Secular Age. Melissa, a seasoned parent and former high school math teacher, shares insights from her journey, blending biblical wisdom with practical strategies for shepherding teens through this turbulent season of parenting. In this episode you will learn: The power of asking questions over dictating answers The effectiveness of an invitational approach to studying the Bible with your teen The wisdom of avoiding a fear-based controlling approach to parenting The only and ultimate place to derive hope when you're feeling discouraged Whether you're parenting a teen, or just looking for some encouragement in the trenches of parenting, this episode will remind you that your hope rests not in perfect parenting, but in Jesus, who never fails. To find more of Melissa Kruger's resources, check out her website: Melissabkruger.com Connect with us & Subscribe to our weekly newsletter! Website: withyouintheweeds.com Instagram: @withyouintheweeds Facebook: @withyouintheweeds            X: withyou_weeds If you love listening to WYITW, would you please leave us a 5 star rating and a review? Your feedback helps us reach more people!

“I don't want to live anymore” might be the most overwhelming and scary thing to hear as a parent. What should you say? What should you do next? In this eye-opening episode, Austin Conner interviews counselor Gary Maddux, as he shares his journey from grief to advocacy, in memory of his beautiful daughter Kaylee who died by suicide six years ago. Gary seeks to challenge stigmas and debunk myths around suicide, urging parents to approach suicide with compassion, education and timely intervention. This conversation offers practical advice for parents, including encouragement to ask direct questions like, “Are you thinking about suicide?” and promotes training like QPR (Question, Persuade, Refer) as well as ways to develop a support network around crisis moments with your teen.  Gary's story is a reminder that Jesus' presence is constant, even in the worst tragedy, offering hope that God embraces those who are impacted by suicide. You will feel more equipped to navigate this heavy topic after learning from Gary's extensive professional training regarding suicide prevention and how you can offer care and compassion to your loved ones who are struggling.  Check out the resources below to educate yourself further on this topic: QPR Training: Question, Persuade, Refer ASK Suicide Prevention Training AFSR Support Groups National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 Call or Text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Connect with us & Subscribe to our weekly newsletter! Website: withyouintheweeds.com Instagram: @withyouintheweeds Facebook: @withyouintheweeds            X: withyou_weeds If you love listening to WYITW, would you please leave us a 5 star rating and a review? Your feedback helps us reach more people!

Have you heard it said that “a parent is only as happy as their unhappiest child”? We know that when you have an unhappy or hurting child, life feels heavy and hard and you may not know how to respond. As part of the Parenting in the Weeds series, Lynn Roush and Austin Conner explore a much needed topic: how to connect with your child when they're hurting.  Parents often want to avoid painful feelings in their kids, hoping that they will go away on their own. Or, they jump in to fix the hurt and bypass the opportunity to connect with their child. We want to equip you to lean into your child's heart when you sense that they are in emotional pain. This conversation looks at what hurts kids both inside and outside of the home, how to recognize hurt in your child, how to respond to your child's pain and the relevant topic of recognizing warning signs for suicide. Austin and Lynn offer practical ways to be present, build resilience, and model God's love to your children through life's pain.  You can download our free Managing Your Emotions guide at withyouintheweeds.com to help you and your child identify their feelings. Make sure you're subscribed to our newsletter where we include more questions to ask your kids to open up the door to meaningful dialogue.  Connect with us & Subscribe to our weekly newsletter! Website: withyouintheweeds.com Instagram: @withyouintheweeds Facebook: @withyouintheweeds            X: withyou_weeds If you love listening to WYITW, would you please leave us a 5 star rating and a review? Your feedback helps us reach more people!

Are you learning the delicate dance of parenting adult children? So are we! As part of the Parenting in the Weeds series, John Tinnin and Lynn Roush explore how to set loving, effective boundaries that foster independence while maintaining a healthy relationship. They also discuss why setting boundaries with adult kids is easier said than done. The key principles they cover are: Boundaries are loving not controlling Be a mentor, not a manager Communicate clearly, consistently, and calmly Offer grace, not guilt trips Respect their autonomy As you watch your adult child make choices, and even mistakes, this episode will help you keep the big picture in mind and model open, honest communication with your kids no matter how old they are. Book recommendation: Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children by Allison Bottke  Connect with us & Subscribe to our weekly newsletter! Website: withyouintheweeds.com Instagram: @withyouintheweeds Facebook: @withyouintheweeds            X: withyou_weeds If you love listening to WYITW, would you please leave us a 5 star rating and a review? Your feedback helps us reach more people!

In this episode of With You in the Weeds, hosts John Tinnin and Austin Conner focus on how to guide your children toward a relational connection with Jesus. They explore four developmental ingredients for spiritual growth, what content to teach, the role of lived experiences, and how to handle kids who resist faith talks—all while emphasizing God's grace and the power of humble parenting. You will be encouraged to learn that “a humble parent is better than a perfect parent.” And you'll see that your role as a parent is a unique opportunity to model God's grace in a way that will make a deep impression on your child, even when you make mistakes. If you're worried about whether your child will learn to love and follow Jesus, this episode will bring relief and perspective that God is not only working through you, he works apart from you, and will accomplish his purposes in your child's heart. Resources for you: Setting Parents Free Come Back, Barbara - A Father's Pursuit of a Prodigal Daughter Bibles Elementary: The Jesus Storybook Bible & The Biggest Story Bible Elementary/Middle School: NIV Kids' Visual Study Bible High School: NIV Teen Study Bible Connect with us & Subscribe to our weekly newsletter! Website: withyouintheweeds.com Instagram: @withyouintheweeds Facebook: @withyouintheweeds            X: withyou_weeds If you love listening to WYITW, would you please leave us a 5 star rating and a review? Your feedback helps us reach more people!

In this episode of our ongoing series, Parenting in the Weeds, we invite Paula Tinnin (John's better half!) to the podcast for the first time. In this timely episode, John and Paula sit down with Austin to reflect on lessons learned from their own dating experiences as well as the advice they gave their daughters when it came to dating and relationships. You will hear them share candidly about: Their own dating and relationship history Setting healthy boundaries for your children's dating experiences Practical guidelines for opposite-sex relationships at every age  Advice for present-day dating dilemmas parents are facing You'll want to listen in to hear about John & Paula's rocky relationship beginnings, their wisdom and practical advice for parents with kids at various ages, and for the informative ‘lightning round' of current, real-life dating questions and answers. After listening you'll get better insight into specific principles to apply, and be motivated to set healthy age-appropriate boundaries for your kids while building trust in them during the challenging dating years. Connect with us & Subscribe to our weekly newsletter! Website: withyouintheweeds.com Instagram: @withyouintheweeds Facebook: @withyouintheweeds            X: withyou_weeds If you love listening to WYITW, would you please leave us a 5 star rating and a review? Your feedback helps us reach more people!

Ever wonder what your kids really think about your parenting? In this unforgettable episode of With You in the Weeds, hosts Lynn and Shay Roush hand the microphone to their own kids—Jack (25), Emma (21), and Owen (19)—for a raw, unscripted conversation. Inspired by the viral “We Listen and We Don't Judge” social media trend, this episode offers parents a rare glimpse into the minds of their kids and practical ways to deepen connection. Lynn and Shay's kids open up about cherished childhood moments, from college football Saturdays with Dad to carefree cul-de-sac playtime and memorable family vacations along Lake Michigan. They also share tougher times, like experiencing the stress of family health crises, tense disagreements in their teen years, and the pressures of growing up as pastor's kids.  Jack, Emma and Owen reflect on their unique bond, and express appreciation to their parents for fostering trust and freedom to learn from mistakes, even as they wrestled with sports expectations, making major life decisions and navigating the unique pressures brought on by social media. It wraps with an enlightening “We Listen and We Don't Judge” speed round, where confessions range from sneaky PlayStation subscriptions to a wild car incident over leftover Chinese food. This episode is a must-listen for parents seeking to create grace-filled, open ended conversations with their kids—no matter their age. Connect with us & Subscribe to our weekly newsletter! Website: withyouintheweeds.com Instagram: @withyouintheweeds Facebook: @withyouintheweeds            X: withyou_weeds If you love listening to WYITW, would you please leave us a 5 star rating and a review? Your feedback helps us reach more people!

Need some help navigating the tricky terrain of talking to your kids about sex? Join counselor Austin Conner as he interviews Kristen Miele, a certified health education specialist and founder of Sex Ed Reclaimed, for an empowering conversation on guiding kids through this vital topic with confidence and faith. Kristen shares her journey from viewing sex as taboo to embracing it as God's good creation, offering practical tools to help parents, caregivers, and mentors foster healthy, shame-free discussions. Whether you have young kids, teens, or work with children, this episode equips you to reclaim the conversation from cultural distortions and lead with love. You'll hear about… Why it's critical to talk to kids about sex and sexuality Common fears and myths that hold parents back Age-appropriate ways to teach kids from preschool to high school As you listen, you'll learn how to start open, honest conversations, respond to tough questions (like exposure to porn), and recognize signs of potential harm. Kristen's insights, rooted in 15 years of teaching and her Sex Ed Reclaimed curriculum, will inspire you to address your own brokenness, lean on the Holy Spirit, and guide kids toward a godly view of sexuality. We hope this episode empowers you to step boldly into these discussions, trusting God is with you in the weeds. Connect with us & Subscribe to our weekly newsletter! Website: withyouintheweeds.com Instagram: @withyouintheweeds Facebook: @withyouintheweeds            X: withyou_weeds

Want a behind the scenes look at parenting a child with ADHD? Buckle up for an honest conversation as Lynn interviews fellow WYITW co-host Austin Conner and his wife Polly about how they've navigated and managed life with a kiddo with ADHD. Austin and Polly open up about the unexpected challenges and joys of this journey, offering hope and practical wisdom for parents who are struggling to know how to find their way through the maze of this diagnosis. You'll hear about… What life was life before the diagnosis The turning point: figuring out the diagnosis What life has been like since the diagnosis As you listen, you'll learn when to seek evaluation for your child, how to build a support team, the changes you'll need to make in your parenting, and how to manage the stress that comes with unpredictable behaviors and extra energy from your child with ADHD. You'll also be encouraged that your child can grow, adapt and accomplish incredible things through their creativity and tenacity. We hope the practical and specific insights in this episode will help you feel validated and strengthened as you consider next steps for you and your family.  If you want to explore more on this topic, check out these books and podcasts below: Book: ADHD 2.0 Book: Healing ADD Podcast: Calm Parenting Podcast Podcast: Shining with ADHD - The Childhood Collective Your reviews and ratings help us reach more people so please leave a review and a 5-star rating! If this conversation resonates with you, share it with someone who needs encouragement in their own healing journey and join the WYITW community on IG & FB @withyouintheweeds.com.

**Have you heard the news? With You in the Weeds has been nominated for “Best Local Podcast” in Inside Columbia magazine's “Best of Columbia” contest! You can help us win by voting today and EVERY DAY through April 30th.  Here's the link to cast your vote and thanks so much for your support!** In this heartfelt episode of With You in the Weeds, Austin Conner chats with Chris and Amanda Horn about the ups and downs of parenting in a blended family. As part of the Parenting in the Weeds series, they share their experiences raising three kids across multiple households, offering honest insights and practical tips for navigating co-parenting, conflict, and building strong family bonds. Whether you're in a blended family or know someone who is, this conversation brings hope and encouragement for the journey. You may be able to relate as Chris and Amanda describe their blended family life as challenging, sacrificial, and yet strengthening, as they emphasize the process of growth through hardships. In any blended family, there will be trade-offs: logistical and emotional challenges balanced by the joy of their kids' growing sibling bonds. They have learned to embrace the chaos, keep co-parenting communication open and accept discomfort while trusting that God is in control, even in the toughest seasons life brings. If you want to remember what you learned in this episode, and didn't have time to take notes while listening, subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com to receive our weekly episode summary and to find our library of resources on all the topics we cover. Your reviews and ratings help us reach more people so please leave a review and a 5-star rating!

**We are honored to be nominated for “Best Local Podcast” in Inside Columbia magazine's “Best of Columbia” contest! You can help us win by voting today and EVERY DAY through April 30th.  Here's the link to cast your vote and thanks so much for your support!** In this episode of our “Parenting in the Weeds” series, Austin Connor and Shay Roush tackle the universal challenge of sibling conflict. Whether you're dealing with daily squabbles between young kids, quiet resentment among teens, or lingering rivalries into adulthood, this episode offers practical insights and strategies to manage conflict effectively.  Conflict amongst siblings is real and spans all ages: from fights over toys and screen time with young kids to resentment over perceived favoritism among teens or adults. The goal isn't to eliminate conflict entirely but to manage it, acknowledging its presence and working toward healthier relationships. Shay and Austin discuss the 3 main causes of sibling conflict, as well as 5 practical solutions to handle it including: Connect with each child individually Delight, celebrate, and laugh together as a family Avoid comparing your children Set patterns of reconciliation, apologizing, and forgiveness Be proactive about end-of-life matters and money The biggest takeaway from this episode is that “Your children may be competitive and compete with each other, but they should never have to compete for your love.”   If you want to remember what you learned in this episode, and didn't have time to take notes while listening, subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com to receive our weekly episode summary and to find our library of resources on all the topics we cover. Your reviews and ratings help us reach more people so please leave a review and a 5-star rating! If this conversation resonates with you, share it with a friend and join the WYITW community on IG & FB @withyouintheweeds.com.

**Exciting news! With You in the Weeds has been nominated for “Best Local Podcast” in Inside Columbia magazine's “Best of Columbia” contest! You can help us win by voting TODAY and EVERY DAY through April 30th.  Here's the link to cast your vote and thanks so much for your support!** Welcome back to our Parenting in the Weeds series! In this episode, we dive into a common parenting trap - the temptation to control your child rather than love them for who they are. While this desire often comes from a good place, such as wanting them to be successful or safe, it can lead to unintended harm.  Listen in as John, Lynn and Shay explore the ways parents try to mold their kids in their own image instead of fostering their unique God-given design. You will learn about three common parenting traps - the Perfection Trap, the Mini-Me Trap, and the Take Care of Me Trap - as well as how to break free from them by focusing on the true goal of parenting. Key Takeaways: The Goal of Parenting: Helping children develop character qualities and the skills necessary to meet the demands of life. Supporting their unique design and pointing them toward Jesus. Modeling love and guidance without trying to control their every outcome. Three Parenting Traps: The Perfection Trap: Expecting children to meet impossible standards can lead to anxiety, fear, and struggles with self-worth. The Mini-Me Trap: Trying to live out unfulfilled dreams through your child instead of embracing their individuality can lead to rebellion. The Take Care of Me Trap: Relying on children for emotional support rather than allowing them to develop independence can hinder your child's emotional maturity. How You Can Break Free of These Traps: Acknowledge that your child is not yours to control - they belong to God. Recognize when fear, ego, or personal baggage drives parenting decisions. Give children space to grow, make mistakes, and develop their own faith and identity. Trust that God is working in your child's life, even when they take unexpected paths. Be encouraged that even if you recognize yourself in any of these traps, you're not alone! Parenting is a journey of learning, adjusting, and leaning into God's grace. Book recommendation: Men of Courage by Larry Crabb

**Exciting news! With You in the Weeds has been nominated for “Best Local Podcast” in Inside Columbia magazine's “Best of Columbia” contest! You can help us win by voting TODAY and EVERY DAY through April 30th.  Here's the link to cast your vote and thanks so much for your support!** Welcome to our brand-new series, Parenting in the Weeds! This series is dedicated to parents who feel tired, confused, or frustrated - because let's be honest, parenting isn't just hard; sometimes, it feels impossible. In this episode, we dive into the challenges of parenting today and explore the tension between two popular approaches: gentle parenting and tough love parenting. John, Lynn and Austin discuss the strengths and weaknesses of each and introduce a balanced framework - love and limits - that can help parents find a more effective and sustainable way to raise their children. Whether you're a parent or someone who interacts with kids in any capacity, there's something in this episode for you! Here's what we cover: Understanding the extremes: Gentle Parenting: Focuses on emotional attunement, empathy, and attachment but can sometimes lack necessary boundaries. Tough Love Parenting: Emphasizes structure, discipline, and authority but can sometimes be overly rigid and emotionally distant. A Better Way – Love and Limits: Parenting is about balancing emotional connection and boundaries. Parenting the way God parents us means we are offering love while providing guidance. Structure without relationship leads to rebellion, and unchecked emotions can create chaos. Practical Parenting Takeaways: Reflect on whether your parenting leans too heavily on love or limits and make adjustments, tailoring your approach to each child's unique needs. If you default to tough love, ask for feedback from your kids, acknowledge any past mistakes, and be willing to apologize. If you lean towards gentle parenting, start setting and enforcing boundaries - even if your child protests at first. Be prepared for the extinction burst - behavior may initially escalate when limits are introduced but will stabilize over time. The truth is that parenting is challenging, but the good news is that you're not alone! God sees and cares about where you are in your parenting journey, and he is with you in the weeds of parenting. Recommended Resources: Parenting from the Inside Out – Dan Siegel The Connected Parent – Karen Purvis & Lisa Qualls Boundaries with Kids – Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend If you want to remember what you learned in this episode, subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com to receive our weekly episode summary and to find our library of resources on all the topics we cover. Your reviews and ratings help us reach more people so please leave a review and a 5-star rating! If this conversation resonates with you, share it with someone who needs encouragement in their own healing journey and join the WYITW community on IG & FB @withyouintheweeds.com.

In the final episode of our Surviving and Thriving After Trauma series, hosts Lynn Roush, LPC, John Tinnin, MDiv, MFT and Austin Conner, MDiv, PLPC reflect on the key takeaways from the series and answer listener-submitted questions about trauma, healing, and resilience. This series was dedicated to helping you define trauma, understand its impacts, and begin the journey toward healing. Not only have we learned from the many trauma survivors we've interviewed, we have also come to see the powerful presence of Jesus in the face of suffering.  These are the listener questions we tackle in this episode:  Are some traumas worse than others?  What should you say (or not say) to someone who has experienced trauma? What skills do I need to work through trauma in my life and help others?  How do I know when I've healed from trauma?  The key takeaways we want you to remember are: Trauma impacts every aspect of your being—mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Healing is a journey, not a one-time event. You may never feel "fully healed," but you can experience post-traumatic growth and resilience. The presence of a safe, understanding person can be one of the most powerful tools in trauma recovery. Scripture provides deep comfort, but timing and approach matter when offering biblical encouragement. Healing includes recognizing the reality of trauma, holding responsible parties accountable, and embracing God's sustaining grace. Resources to help you on your healing journey: On the Threshold of Hope – Diane Langberg Safe People – Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend Your Emotional Dashboard (Our very first episode!) "In this world, you will have tribulations. But take heart, I have overcome the world." John 16:33 If you want to remember what you learned in this episode, and didn't have time to take notes while listening, subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com to receive our weekly episode summary and to find our library of resources on all the topics we cover. Your reviews and ratings help us reach more people so please leave a review and a 5-star rating! If this conversation resonates with you, share it with someone who needs encouragement in their own healing journey and join the WYITW community on IG & FB @withyouintheweeds.com.

As we near the end of our “Surviving and Thriving After Trauma” series we are covering the essential topic of generational trauma - a hidden force that shapes our beliefs, relationships, and sense of self. Our guest, Gina Birkemeier, a licensed professional counselor, author, and trauma specialist, joins us to explore how trauma patterns are passed down through generations and what it takes to break free. Key takeaways in this episode: The impact of inherited trauma and how it shapes your perceptions. How to recognize patterns like shame and control, and the way dysfunction gets passed down through families. What it takes to break the cycle and how to create a new, healthy legacy. Why forgiveness doesn't mean reconciliation and how it leads to freedom. How you can shift family narratives and transform future generations. In this interview with Austin, Gina shares personal insights from her book, Generations Deep: Unmasking Inherited Dysfunction and Trauma to Rewrite Our Stories Through Faith and Therapy, offering both hope and practical guidance for those ready to stand up against the forceful current of generational dysfunction. To learn more you can visit ginabirkemeier.com or find Gina on Instagram @myoutloudvoice for more great content on this topic. If you want to remember what you learned in this episode, and didn't have time to take notes while listening, subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com to receive our weekly episode summary and to find our library of resources on all the topics we cover. Your reviews and ratings help us reach more people so please leave a review and a 5-star rating! If this conversation resonates with you, share it with someone who needs encouragement in their own healing journey and join the WYITW community on IG & FB @WithYouInTheWeeds

In this deeply moving episode, John Tinnin sits down with Kari Kaczan, author of A Light in Momentary Affliction, to discuss the profound grief of losing a child and the journey of navigating trauma through faith. Kari shares her heartbreaking yet hope-filled story of her son Christopher's diagnosis with metachromatic leukodystrophy (MLD), a rare and terminal disease, and the emotional and spiritual challenges that followed. With raw honesty, Kari recounts the moments of shock, despair, and wrestling with God as she walked through the unimaginable pain of watching her son slowly lose his abilities. She opens up about the loneliness of grief, the difficulty of making impossible medical decisions, and the isolating reality of being part of a “club no one wants to join.” Yet, in the midst of deep sorrow, Kari found an anchor in her faith. She speaks about the power of surrender, choosing to bring Jesus into her pain, and how lament became her path to healing. The conversation touches on depression, emotional numbness, and the ways grief affects relationships, but ultimately points to the hope and presence of Christ in suffering. Listen as John and Kari discuss: The devastating reality of receiving a terminal diagnosis for a child. How grief unfolds in layers—both the “big” loss and the small, compounding ones. The challenge of making medical decisions when no clear path exists. The emotional and relational impact of loss, including isolation and changes in friendships. Why faith is not just a cliché but a sustaining force in the darkest moments. The importance of honest, unfiltered prayers—even if they include shouting at God. Check out the book A Light in Momentary Affliction by Kari Kaczan to learn more about how bringing Jesus into suffering can transform the way we endure pain. Your reviews and ratings help us reach more people so please leave a review and a 5-star rating! Connect with us on social media and sign up for our weekly newsletter: Instagram: @WithYouInTheWeeds Facebook: WithYouInTheWeeds Website: WithYouInTheWeeds.com

“Sit down. I've got to tell you something…” What follows might be your worst nightmare as your spouse confesses their betrayal and infidelity. Matthew & Joanna Raabsmith have lived through this themselves, and now they work with couples who are trying to rebuild their relationship after trust has been shattered. They have 15+ years of theological and counseling experience helping couples repair the damage that betrayal creates.  When you listen you'll get a front row seat of what happens when couples first confess, what their ongoing counseling sessions look like, signs of growth (or lack of growth), and how you know when trust is being restored. Whether you've experienced the trauma of betrayal, or you know someone/a couple who has, you'll be thankful you took the time to listen to Matthew & Joanna. You can check out their book Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection That Stands the Test of Time or their website for free resources and to learn more. Connect with us! Instagram: @WithYouInTheWeeds Facebook: WithYouInTheWeeds Website: WithYouInTheWeeds.com  Are you a fan of WYITW? If so, please share this resource with a friend! Leave a review and a 5-star rating. Thanks for being here!

Can the deep pain and division of racism ever be healed? And does the Christian faith play any role in the work of racial reconciliation? Pastor Derwin Gray believes that if we rightly understand the message of grace through Jesus, we will see the image of God across all races and cultures, and embrace and promote a culture of love instead of a culture of hate. In this special episode Pastor Derwin Gray of Transformation Church has a discussion with Shay and Lynn about the history of racism in America, its lasting impact, and the current need for ongoing reconciliation. Derwin's book, How to Heal Our Racial Divide, proposes that “racial reconciliation is God's idea”, and that the church should be a place that “isn't colorblind, but color-blessed.” This conversation covers topics like: The significance of Martin Luther King Jr. and his powerful writings The challenge of overcoming indifference and opposition to reconciliation How racial trauma manifests in different generations Teaching people to be "unoffendable in the gospel" Encouragement for Christians to extend grace in difficult conversations. Although the church should be a natural place for racial healing to occur, the reality is that barriers such as pride, fear, power and economics often prevent the church from taking the risk to love others when the cost seems too high. We appreciate Pastor Gray's passion and insights on this important topic, as he calls us to see the beauty of diversity as part of God's design and highlights the role we can play in helping people heal from racial trauma through empathy, compassion and understanding. If you enjoy listening to With You in the Weeds we'd love to hear from you! You can email us at withyouintheweeds@thecrossingchurch.com or leave us a review. For more great content from the team you can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds.

The residual trauma from war can have a lasting impact on veterans and their families. No one knows this better than Dan and Jo Slawski, founders of Guardian Hills Veterans Healing Center.  When Dan's father returned from his service in World War II, he struggled to cope with the mental and emotional stress of post-war trauma. Dan experienced his father's outbursts of rage and occasional disappearances as confusing and disruptive to family life. That didn't deter Dan from joining the Air Force after college to help pay for his medical school, which was a positive life change for Dan and his wife Jo. Since that time, Dan's active military service as well as his experience caring for orthopedic patients opened his eyes to the post-traumatic stress that veterans live with every day. After hearing many stories from POW's, veterans and family members living with veterans who were suffering both physically and mentally, Dan and Jo knew their calling was to help veterans be restored to health and wholeness.  In this eye-opening episode, Shay Roush interviews Dan and Jo to discuss their work with Guardian Hills Veterans Healing Center, a facility dedicated to helping veterans recover from the physical, emotional, and relational injuries they often face after service. Located in the beautiful country of northern Missouri, Guardian Hills provides resources and support for veterans struggling with trauma, including post-traumatic stress (PTS) and moral injury. Many veterans don't experience their first impact of post-traumatic stress until 11 years after service, and they often don't have access to the resources needed for them to process the memories or stressors associated with their time in active duty. Their emotional and physical injuries are distressing, debilitating, and often lead to suicide as an alarming 17 veterans a day die by suicide around the country. You will be inspired and encouraged as you hear the Slawskis' vision for Guardian Hills, and the transformations that are occuring in veterans lives on a daily basis (as captured in this video).  If you or someone you love could benefit from the services offered at Guardian Hills or you want to learn more about the programs and educational therapies they offer, visit the Guardian Hills website where you can also purchase tickets for the upcoming annual banquet and auction on Saturday, March 8th at Cooper's Ridge Event Center. For information about housing for veterans in Columbia, Missouri visit the Welcome Home website to learn about their vision for ending homelessness for veterans in our community. If you enjoy listening to With You in the Weeds we'd love to hear from you! You can email us at withyouintheweeds@thecrossingchurch.com or leave us a review. For more great content from the team you can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds. 

There are several therapeutic interventions that can play a role in your recovery from trauma, and perhaps one of the most proven, effective and powerful methods is EMDR - Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. But what does that mean and how does it work? As part of our "Surviving and Thriving After Trauma" series, Austin brings in special guest Dr. Mark Pfuetze, an EMDR trained therapist and Covenant Seminary professor, to explain how the body stores trauma and how EMDR can help you manage distressing memories, experiences, and thoughts that haunt you, shame you, or pull you from the present back into the past. After listening to this insightful interview, you will understand more about: How trauma affects your brain and body How EMDR works to repair those effects What to look for in an EMDR therapist if you decide that's for you Online Christian Counseling Resource: Global Counseling Network If you have a question for Dr. Pfuetze you can email him at: Mark.Pfuetze@covenantseminary.edu  If you enjoy listening to With You in the Weeds we'd love to hear from you! You can email us at withyouintheweeds@thecrossingchurch.com or leave us a review. For more great content from the team you can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds. 

Have you ever experienced a “complete and total loss” only to have it be flipped into a “complete and total life transformation”?  In this powerful episode of our “Surviving and Thriving After Trauma” series, Lynn Roush, LPC interviews her colleague and friend, Jules Lundberg, (trauma-informed PLPC & PhD student) who shares the compelling story of her journey as a trauma survivor and how she has worked hard to heal, thrive, and help others flip the script of their trauma. Together, Lynn and Jules provide listeners with practical steps for rewriting the shameful narrative that emerges from childhood trauma and how to begin breaking generational patterns of sin and dysfunction. Jules' story of resilience includes severe childhood abuse, domestic violence, divorce, infant loss, fostering and adoption. Lynn and Jules discuss: The challenges of naming dysfunction in your family The fear of being disconnected from love and belonging How to recognize and discern leaving an abusive relationship  How healing happens through relationships with safe people Understanding dissociation as a common response to childhood trauma 5 ways to flip the script on your childhood trauma If you are wanting to rewrite the narrative of your life, this episode will offer insight, hope and practical steps to help you change your internal dialogue and experience the transformation that occurs when you receive God's invitation to be transformed by his love and truth. We want you to have hope that you can survive and thrive after trauma and embrace your identity as a beloved child of God. Bible Verse Highlight: Proverbs 3:5-6 – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” If you are in an abusive relationship and need support you can call the domestic abuse hotline: 1-800.799.SAFE (7233), or visit their website https://www.thehotline.org/ If you live in Columbia, Missouri, you can contact True North to receive education, counseling, and shelter from an abusive partner.  Connect with us! Instagram: @WithYouInTheWeeds Facebook: WithYouInTheWeeds Website: WithYouInTheWeeds.com Are you a fan of WYITW? If so, please share this resource with a friend! Leave a review and a 5-star rating. Thanks for being here!

Are you facing a baffling, frustrating and emotionally intense struggle with your child?  Do you question everything you're doing as a parent because your best efforts don't seem to be working to change your child's misbehavior? In this episode of our "Surviving and Thriving After Trauma" series, we tackle an increasingly important question: What do parents need to know about trauma?  Austin is joined by Kari Nietzel, a behavior analyst with over 14 years of experience working with families and children who have experienced trauma. Together, they explore how trauma impacts children, how it manifests in behavior, and how parents and caregivers can better understand and support their kids. Austin and Kari discuss: The difference between cultural perceptions and clinical definitions of trauma Trauma behavior vs. normal behavior The importance of understanding the "why" behind a child's behavior Examples of trauma responses Behavior as communication Teaching kids (and adults!) appropriate ways to express needs and emotions How to encourage parents and caregivers facing the challenge of parenting a child from trauma  Key Takeaways: Trauma is complex and manifests differently in each child. Behaviors are a form of communication that should be approached with curiosity. Parents can learn to focus on their child's needs and seek appropriate strategies to help them thrive. We know you'll be encouraged, comforted and equipped with parenting strategies through this conversation as you learn from Kari's personal and clinical experiences.  Resources: Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors by Robyn Gobell The Connected Parent by Karyn Purvis and Lisa Qualls TBRI podcast Calm Parenting Podcast If you enjoy listening to With You in the Weeds we'd love to hear from you! You can email us at withyouintheweeds@thecrossingchurch.com or leave us a review. For more great content from the team you can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds. 

In today's episode, Lynn Roush, LPC, sits down with Lori Ann Wood, an inspiring author, speaker, and survivor of medical trauma. As part of our series on “Surviving and Thriving After Trauma,” we are delving into the challenges and lessons that come from facing health crises, and the shift that needs to occur from being a “fixer” to accepting that not everything in life can or will be solved. When a trip to urgent care led to a 2 week stay in the ICU as a critical care patient, Lori Ann Wood's life went from predictable to precarious. Being diagnosed with end stage heart failure with an enlarged heart functioning at only 6%, Lori Ann was faced with a health crisis that would test her faith with an uncertain future. Lynn and Lori Ann discuss how medical crises disrupt not only your physical well-being but also create emotional, psychological and spiritual instability. When you receive a “forever diagnosis”, nothing seems normal anymore and everyone in the family is affected by the detour that occurs when you lose your health. Lori Ann's journey of receiving a life-altering diagnosis and how she processed the feelings of failure, guilt and shame that come with chronic illness, will encourage and comfort anyone who can relate to the struggle to find hope when your heart - or health - fails. Divine Detour: The Path You'd Never Choose Can Lead to the Faith You've Always Wanted by Lori Ann Wood If you enjoy listening to With You in the Weeds we'd love to hear from you! You can email us at withyouintheweeds@thecrossingchurch.com or leave us a review. For more great content from the team you can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds. 

The million dollar question our clients ask when it comes to trauma is: “How do I heal?”  In this episode, Austin, Lynn, and John continue their series, Surviving and Thriving After Trauma, with a deep dive into the key elements needed for healing. Trauma is any experience that overwhelms your ability to cope on your own and can stem from events like divorce, abuse, sexual assault, domestic violence, health crises, betrayal and more. However, it's not just the event itself that is disruptive, but the lingering emotional and mental impact that makes healing difficult. In this episode we cover key elements needed for healing: Ongoing Safety Self-Regulation skills Connecting with safe people Giving voice to your trauma Dismantling false narratives  Engaging with your story in light of God's love and truth Although each person's journey is unique, growth and recovery are possible with the right resources and a supportive community. This episode will guide you through how and why healing from trauma is possible, and provide the insight you need to move towards healing and hope. If you enjoy listening to With You in the Weeds we'd love to hear from you! You can email us at withyouintheweeds@thecrossingchurch.com or leave us a review. For more great content from the team you can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds. 

In this foundational episode, we kick off our series, Surviving and Thriving After Trauma, by exploring what trauma truly is—and isn't. As the term “trauma” becomes more prevalent in everyday culture, it's essential to clarify its meaning, dispel myths, and offer tools for understanding and growth. Throughout this series, we want to bring clarity, validation, and encouragement to those navigating the complex impacts of trauma. While it's true that trauma means different things to different people, John, Lynn and Austin will answer the following questions: What is trauma? What is the impact of trauma? What are some myths about trauma? What does the Bible say about trauma? Some of the impacts of trauma include: Emotional dysregulation  Self-protective walls to prevent future pain Internal fragmentation (compartmentalizing emotions) Defense mechanisms in relationships (rationalizing, blame-shifting, projecting) Coping mechanisms (numbing behaviors or perfectionism) Disconnection from the body  This episode will also dispel some common myths about trauma such as: Myth #1: Talking about trauma is a sign of weakness. Myth #2: We are fragile and can't recover from hardship. Myth #3: Trauma affects everyone the same way. Myth #4: There's an easy way to heal from trauma. The truth is that the Bible has a lot of say about trauma, using different words: suffering, hardship, distresses, trials, sorrow and brokenness. Using biblical realities along with psychological insight, this episode will provide essential understanding for those seeking healing from trauma.  Tune in to our next episode: “How do I Heal From Trauma?” and share this episode with someone who might benefit from a deeper understanding of trauma. Resources: Suffering and the Heart of God by Diane Langberg. Healing What's Within by Chuck DeGroat. Try Softer by Aundi Kolber If you enjoy listening to With You in the Weeds we'd love to hear from you! You can email us at withyouintheweeds@thecrossingchurch.com or leave us a review. For more great content from the team you can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds. 

What is Christmas really about? Is Jesus like the “elf on a shelf” toy that we play with once a year? Or is he like Santa, punishing those who are naughty and rewarding those who are nice? It's easy to get caught up in cultural traditions and forget that the true meaning of Christmas is that God became flesh to dwell among us. Jesus entered into a world of darkness and declared: “I am the light of the world”. Who could make such a claim, and live a life of perfection to back it up? And what does that mean for you today? John and Shay explain the gospel message that God wants to be WITH YOU, and moves towards you in your sinfulness, darkness and brokenness. God took on flesh in the person of Jesus in order to identify with you in your suffering and to forgive your sins. Emmanuel means “God with us”, a comforting declaration that you are not alone in this world, you have a friend in Jesus. If you are looking for hope this Christmas season, this episode will comfort, encourage and awaken your heart to the beauty and wonder of what it means that Jesus is WITH YOU in the weeds of life. The WYITW team wishes you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! You won't want to miss our NEW SERIES that begins January 8th: Surviving and Thriving After Trauma, so stay tuned for more great content on topics you care about in 2025! If you enjoy listening to With You in the Weeds we'd love to hear from you! You can email us at withyouintheweeds@thecrossingchurch.com or leave us a review. For more great content from the team you can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds. 

Have you heard of doom spending? It's when you spend money you don't have in order to cope with stress. Without considering the cost, you splurge on a shopping spree to find a little bit of happiness. We know that it's tempting to do a little doom spending over the holidays, but what will happen when the credit card bills come around?  We want to help you think wisely and purposefully about your finances. So in this episode, we've brought in two knowledgeable guests to offer guidance on your holiday spending, personal budgeting and long term finance goals. Shay talks with financial planner Kevin Adam, and Molly Harville, long time instructor for the Financial Peace class taught at The Crossing. Both Kevin and Molly have helped many people create a plan to not only get out of debt, but also reach their financial goals. Shay, Kevin and Molly share their insights on topics such as: What does Jesus have to say about money and the temptation to be ruled by it? What does your financial upbringing have to do with decisions you're making about your money today? How can you fight against envy in your life? How can you curb overspending around the holidays? Is it too late to start saving for your future? How can you teach your kids to make good decisions with money? The bottom line of this episode is: you don't have to just cover your eyes and swipe the credit card! You can learn the principles behind wise spending so that you can take steps towards financial freedom and peace, even around the holidays. If you want to know how to sign up for the next Financial Peace class at The Crossing or have a question about your finances, email Molly Harville: molly.harville@thecrossingchurch.com  Book recommendations: Rich Dad Poor Dad The Psychology of Money If you enjoy listening to With You in the Weeds we'd love to hear from you! You can email us at withyouintheweeds@thecrossingchurch.com or leave us a review. For more great content from the team you can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds. 

The most beloved Christmas songs boast that it's the most wonderful time of the year, but is it really true?  As counselors, we know that what you see on the outside of people's lives never tells the full story. Even the beautiful family Christmas card isn't an accurate picture of reality. The truth is that there's a lot of sadness and brokenness in this world, and it's easy to push it away and not enter into it. It's normal to want to numb yourself or avoid and gloss over the hurt.  In this episode John, Shay and Lynn acknowledge that the holidays can both be a time of levity and joy, but can also be a time where we are faced with hard realities. You may have recently lost a loved one, been given an unwanted health diagnosis, or are reeling from a painful breakup. Or maybe you're far away from family or friends and don't feel like celebrating over the holidays. This episode will help you manage the grief you may be experiencing as we discuss: The basic principles of grieving loss Ideas to honor the memory of a loved one Practical ways you can comfort someone who is hurting over the holidays The BEST gift you can give someone this Christmas - and it's FREE!   Stay tuned for two more episodes in our “Keeping Your Sanity Over the Holidays” series!

Picture the scene: you're sitting in front of the fireplace sipping hot cocoa while chatting quietly with family, reminiscing about the joys of your upbringing and your favorite family moments. Meanwhile, your children sit cross legged on the ground together, silently and peacefully listening with rapt attention.  That's how your holidays go as a family right? HA! If you're like most people, the holiday season is filled less with peace, stillness, and cooperation and more with frantic, frustrating, and stressful situations. Or at best, a mix of the two. Travel, lack of routine and divided time with relatives and in-laws can make parenting extra challenging. Christian and Andrew Neuenswander, busy parents of 3 young children, can definitely relate to the messiness of gathering with family over the holidays (Pro tip: never leave the house without extra handi-wipes!). In this episode Austin interviews this busy family of 5 about practical tips and suggestions for how you can “keep your sanity” over the holidays as parents. When you finish listening, their insights and perspectives will help you apply these takeaways as you navigate tricky, fun, busy, and complex dynamics over the holiday season so that you can keep your sanity!

Are you looking forward to being with your family over the holidays? Or are you dreading the next family get together?  Family drama can not only ruin the holiday spirit, it can create unnecessary hurt and division in a family that's felt for years to come. John and Lynn designed this episode to help you identify the pain points that lead to family drama: Unrealistic expectations “Hot topic” conversations Complex family logistics Strained relationships This episode offers strategies to help you cope with potential family drama such as: Setting boundaries Practicing self-care Focusing on the positives Engaging in fun activities Taking breaks Accepting family imperfection Limiting alcohol consumption Seeking outside support Having your own family holiday This is the first episode in our new series “Keeping Your Sanity Over the Holidays”, and will allow you to prepare for (or avoid!) family drama and enjoy some holiday spirit.

When relationships don't work, there is often a sense of loss and heartache. Being single and longing for connection may mean you're willing to compromise your standards in order to deal with loneliness or fulfill your need for intimacy. Our hookup culture promotes a consumer mindset, detached from emotion, that encourages you to get your needs met without considering spiritual, intellectual or emotional compatibility. But that can lead to unwise dating decisions and further pain. Shay and John share their own personal stories of painful breakups and the time it takes to heal when relationships don't work out. They offer wisdom and guidance when it comes to healing from divorce, how to know when you're ready to date again, choosing wisely when it comes to finding a spouse and readiness for marriage. If you are single and seeking companionship, or mending a broken heart after a breakup or divorce, this episode will challenge you to consider the importance of not jumping too quickly into a relationship. Singleness is a good thing; a time for personal growth and reflection, and an opportunity to prepare your heart for whatever the future holds. American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus by Lisa Wade If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds!

Are you concerned that you're on the road to divorce? Maybe you and your spouse have fallen into unhealthy, frustrating, and toxic patterns that leave you wondering if your marriage can work. Now what?  In this episode, Lynn, John, and Austin discuss the following patterns you can practice on your own and as a couple that can change the dynamic of your relationship: On your own: Have a funeral for your marriage   Pray and journal Take the “Love Style” quiz Get a support team Evaluate your conflict patterns As a couple: Evaluate your conflict patterns Practice a soft start up Learn how to repair after conflict Take a break when needed This is hard work, and it won't happen overnight. But if and when you, and your spouse, are able and willing (the key phrase!) to practice these together, we're confident that you'll be on the road to better and deeper connection. Book recommendations: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and How We Love: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds!

Unfortunately, you can't talk about how to make marriage work without acknowledging divorce. The prevalence of divorce means that everyone has some experience with it and has been negatively impacted when a marriage doesn't work out.   Because divorce is so common, we think it's worth slowing down to ask: What happened to the marriage? Why didn't things work out? What were the steps that led to divorce? Could divorce have been prevented? How has the family (and children in particular) been affected by divorce? In this episode, John, Lynn, and Austin discuss the following 3 topics regarding divorce: What the Bible has to say about divorce 4 specific patterns that let you know you might be on the road toward a divorce The tangible and harmful impacts that divorce can have on spouses and children When you listen to this episode, you'll be more equipped to evaluate the signs and symptoms that indicate your marriage may be in trouble. And once you do that, you can figure out if it's possible to get off that road to divorce, which is the next episode! So stay tuned… If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds! Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce

Did you ever get “the talk?” Do you remember feeling encouraged and hopeful, or were you left feeling awkward, ashamed, confused and with more questions than answers?  Whatever you might have learned about sex when you were growing up, your view of sex has likely been shaped by our sexualized culture that reduces sex to body parts. At the same time, you also may have been influenced by a church culture that emphasizes “purity” as the sole focus of your spiritual maturity.  Yet both of these messages minimize or ignore the beauty and awe of sex that God intended for us to experience and can cause hurt and misunderstanding in marriage. For instance, men may view sex as something they need. And women may feel like they have to have sex with their husband so he won't seek it somewhere else. In this transparent conversation, Austin and John explore these topics with Sam Jolman, author of The Sex Talk You Never Got: Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality. Sam lays out a captivating and beautiful view of sex and sexuality (especially for men) that we think will leave both men and women encouraged, equipped, and curious - all of which is needed to understand sex the way God intended it to be. [Please note, this content is for adult ears only. We recognize that sex is an important, yet sensitive topic, and can bring up a wide range of emotions based on your personal experiences. We encourage you to listen at your own pace, giving yourself time to process as needed.] If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds!

This episode might make you blush, it might make you cringe, and it might make you laugh! But if you want to make your marriage work, you're going to have to address your sex life. Intrigued yet? In this episode Austin and his wife Polly - yes Polly! - discuss: 3 things you NEED to know about sex 4 WRONG messages the enemy, the world, and your desires tell you about sex Specific takeaways for husbands, for wives, and couples in general We hope this episode helps you feel normalized, encouraged, and hopefully willing to address the topic of sex in your marriage wherever and however you need to.  [Please note, this content is for adult ears only. We recognize that sex is an important, yet sensitive topic, and can bring up a wide range of emotions based on your personal experiences. We encourage you to listen at your own pace, giving yourself time to process as needed.] If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds!

Do you know which habits will make the most positive and lasting impact on your marriage? Although ideas about what makes marriage work change from one generation to another, there are evidence-based habits that characterize a healthy marriage. In this episode, Shay and Lynn explore what toxic behaviors erode your relationships including criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling and contempt. Using Gottman Institute research and biblical wisdom, this conversation sheds light on why these attitudes and actions do so much harm to your marriage. Then we discuss what 4 habits you'll want to practice instead: Giving and receiving regular feedback Taking ownership Managing your emotions Cultivating humility and forgiveness There are many benefits to implementing these 4 habits into all of your relationships, and it's never too late to start! This is a practical episode that will offer concrete changes you can work on now to create a stronger bond with your partner as you navigate the challenges of marriage.  If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds!

Kids might be the best, and worst, thing for a marriage! On the one hand, they're a “blessing from the Lord” (Ps. 127:3) and Jesus himself said “let the little children come to me” (Mt. 19:14). But on the other hand, they're loud, messy, needy, don't listen, and can (unintentionally) create barriers between spouses.  Being aware of both the joys and hardships of parenting as well as the impact your kids may have on your marriage is an important first step to preventing a future breakdown. In this episode Austin and Shay discuss the ways their kids have helped build up their own marriages. Then they acknowledge the following four ways that kids can break down marriage: Create isolation Create chronic stress Create disconnection Create anger, bitterness, and resentment towards your partner The great news is that there are several things you can do to build up your marriage in the midst of parenting stress! Austin and Shay recommend the following four practices: Plan regular date nights and getaways Schedule “state of the union” meetings Address “elephants” Express appreciation  If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds!

Trust is not secured or defined by the vows you make on your wedding day. Those are serious and important commitments, but they will be empty words if your behavior isn't trustworthy over a long period of time. Boundaries are so foundational to making marriage work, but they're often associated with being mean or unloving. This conversation with John and Lynn highlights that without boundaries in marriage, you won't know what your role is, you won't be able to take responsibility for yourself, and you won't be able to establish the deep bed of trust that God intended for your relationship. Understanding the role of boundaries and how they build trust will help you diagnose growth points in yourself and in your marriage, and reinforce the need to protect the marriage covenant by becoming worthy of your spouse's trust. If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds!

Have you considered that the recent argument you had with your spouse began long before you ever got married? Walking down the aisle on your wedding day, you see the person that you love and are attracted to, but you may not realize that in that moment, two histories are colliding.  In effect, you are marrying your partner's brain. This means that all of your (and their) previous experiences with love, closeness, connection, hurt, relational expectations and ways of seeking comfort are like pre-programmed software that you will both need to learn about. It also means that your history and everything that's shaped you, is going to be operating in the background of all of your interactions.  The bottom line is that how you learned to love when you were growing up will be the way you love when you are married.  Using the 5 Love Styles from the book “How We Love” by Kay and Milan Yerkovich, Shay and Lynn discuss how each of these love styles developed in your childhood are impacting your relationship today. This enlightening conversation offers insight into the defensive patterns you might see in your marriage, and what to do when your two histories collide.  How We Love Love Style Quiz If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds!

When you're hungry and ordering a hamburger at the drive thru, do you expect to have a deep, personal conversation with the person at the window? Probably not. More likely, you're hoping to find that deeper emotional connection in your marriage with your spouse. But that can be harder to do than you think! In this episode, John and Austin explain that communication in marriage ranges from very shallow, to very deep. Most couples stay in the shallow end, afraid to take a deeper dive into emotional intimacy. The reason why it's so difficult to have deep, meaningful conversations with your spouse is that it requires honesty and openness that feels very vulnerable and requires safety and trust. It takes patience, persistence and intentionality to build this trust over many years of marriage. However, we think that learning how to REALLY talk with your spouse is worth pursuing for several reasons: Knowing and being known will change who you are.   Cultivating a lifelong friendship will help your marriage endure life's challenges. Deep emotional connection prepares you for a healthy sex life. You have a confidant to share your hopes, dreams, fears and worries with.  With sustained emotional intimacy you can believe the best about your partner. If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds!

Do you believe that all of your needs, longings and desires will be met when you get married? What might happen when your marriage falls short of your expectations?  While it's normal to want the ideal marriage, living in a world that's been infected by sin makes that impossible. If you're not prepared for what marriage will be like with two flawed people, you may be disillusioned, disappointed and full of resentment when your relationship hits the “ordeal” of life. In this episode, John and Lynn discuss what it means to live in the reality of marriage, which means that you will not have all of your expectations met, you will not get your way all the time, and you will need to learn to live with a certain measure of incompletion in your marriage.  Hiding, blaming, shaming and judging may characterize your marriage until you're ready to accept the limits of your relationship and grieve the loss of the “ideal” and so you can live in the “real deal”. This conversation will help you see that living in an imperfect relationship requires humility and divine grace. If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds!

A commonly asked question is: “How do I know if I'm marrying the “right” person?”  As counselors, we've learned that the best way to help someone make the decision of who to marry is what we call: Informed Consent. If you've ever bought a car, or had surgery, or signed a lease to an apartment, it's likely that you only moved ahead with that decision after signing an agreement of “Informed Consent”. That means that you were given fair warning about the possible defects, side effects or pre-existing conditions before you agreed to move ahead with the decision. Having this information meant that you would have realistic expectations of the outcomes if you said “yes”. Deciding who to marry is arguably one of the most important decisions you'll make in life. So we think that the process of dating and engagement is a chance to obtain “Informed Consent”. That means that you are learning enough about the other person, and understanding their values, personality, dreams for the future, spiritual maturity and level of compatibility so that you know what you're getting into when you get married.  In this episode, Austin and Lynn explain the purpose of dating, the 3 phases of the dating relationship, what to look for in a potential spouse, and red flags to be aware of as you consider whether or not to marry someone. The process of dating is your chance to learn as much as possible about the other person so you can visualize what marriage with this other person would be like. Although feelings of attraction are important, depth of character that's demonstrated over a period of time is the best way to learn if your dating relationship is ready for marriage. Bonus: Lynn shares the best dating advice she ever received, and it may completely change the way you see your dating relationship! Book Recommendation: Outdated: Find Love That Lasts When Dating Has Changed If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds!

As a high school counselor, Laura Verkamp's job is anything but boring. Between helping her students fill out college applications, checking in with students who are struggling, or challenging kids to come out of their comfort zone, Laura's invested in equipping them to move forward in life. Listen as Austin interviews Laura and asks about a “typical” day in the life of a school counselor (if there is one). Their discussion reveals what Laura sees as the top stressors in the lives of high school students today, and the unique ways that she equips them to keep moving forward even in the midst of challenges. What brings Laura the most joy in her job is seeing her students grow. From the first day of school, to the last day of class, one thing is certain, kids are longing to learn, mature, and overcome the obstacles that may be in their way.  You will appreciate the insight Laura has into the life of a high school student, and learn that the thing she loves most about them is, well, they're just really cool kids! If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your favorite podcast player. Follow us on FB & IG @withyouintheweeds and subscribe to our weekly newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com for more free Christian Counseling resources.

The state of men in our culture is worse than ever in terms of loneliness, shame, and “purpose void”. How did we get here? And why do so many men avoid church?  In this enlightening conversation, Shay Roush and Kermit Summerall, Pastors of Crossing Men, discuss what men are longing for: the good, the bad and the ugly. Shay and Kermit explain how many men feel trapped and defeated by the demands and pressures of life and are tempted to check out from reality and stop showing up where they're needed most. The good news is that men are starting to come out of isolation and build authentic relationships based on honesty and trust. Men are investing in each other's lives and working side by side towards a common mission, using their strengths to serve others and show up in their families and communities.  Studies even show that Christian men who are actively involved in church are the best husbands, the best fathers, and experience the highest levels of happiness. This episode will challenge and encourage you as you hear about the powerful ways God is moving in the lives of Crossing Men as they follow Jesus together! If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! Follow us on FB & IG @withyouintheweeds and subscribe to our weekly newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com.  Resources: The Toxic War on Masculinity: How Christianity Reconciles the Sexes by Nancy Pearcey Podcast: The Aaron Renn Show - May 20, 2024 episode with Anthony Bradley - “Evangelicalism's Man Problems”

Women are wearing more hats than ever: student, professional, friend, sister, mother, daughter, and everything in between. Slowing down long enough to consider what it is you really long for is an opportunity to connect with parts of your soul that need attention. This conversation with Crossing Women director Jeannette Cover and counselor Lynn Roush is a chance to acknowledge that your longings for validation, affirmation, peace, confidence and hope are real and not going away.  This discussion also highlights that the encouragement we can offer each other as women is rare and hard to find. While our lives may look happy on the outside, many of us are carrying heavy burdens, and struggling to make sense of our current realities. In this episode you will learn how important it is to be honest about your thoughts and feelings so you can give and receive the encouragement you need to keep going in life. That's why we want to offer you a 30-Day Encouragement Challenge as a way to connect you to the life of God and the people you care about most in your life. While you may not always have your longings met, you can provide encouragement to your friends and family who are also on the journey of waiting, hoping and trusting in God's promises even when life is hard. For practical ideas and ways to encourage others, download our FREE 30-Day Encouragement Challenge PDF at our website: withyouintheweeds.com, and start the challenge today! If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your favorite podcast player. Follow us on FB & IG @withyouintheweeds and subscribe to our weekly newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com for more free Christian Counseling resources.

Whatever control you believed you had over how your life would turn out is going to be challenged when you reach midlife. Also known as the “crunch” years, research on levels of happiness in midlife suggests that it can be the most dissatisfying life season. Spanning the ages of 35-64, midlife is a time of raising and launching kids, reaching (or not reaching) your professional goals, defining your important relationships and watching your parents age. To say that midlife is a stressful time would be an understatement. Many of the hopes and ideals that you believed would come true may be met with disillusion and disappointment when you realize that your life isn't turning out as you had planned. In midlife, your longing for control is overshadowed by powerlessness as you slowly lose friendships, manage health issues and experience the pain of regret.  The temptation in midlife is to checkout, numb, or avoid painful realities, while also pull away from close relationships. Yet there is much spiritual growth happening in midlife that is an opportunity for deep relational connection with God and others.  In this episode, Crossing Small Group directors Ryan and Kelley Wampler discuss with John the unique perspective that midlife brings, and the new longings that come when you realize that life is fleeting. John, Kelley and Ryan share the most important thing you shouldn't neglect during the business of midlife, as well as highlight the deep spiritual treasures that are in store when you surrender to God the things you can't control. If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow @withyouintheweeds on IG & FB for more great content!

The 20's is a time of transition from college to adulting, requiring tenacity and adaptation. It is also a time of making big decisions about career, relationships and establishing yourself in the world. In your 20's the weightiness of life is pressing in, while the sharp edges of reality are becoming more pronounced. As “digital natives”, 20's don't know life apart from screens, social media, texting and the internet. Although more connected than ever, 20's are finding that real and meaningful relationships are harder to come by. This makes dealing with the pressures and expectations of this season of life feel even more isolating and overwhelming.  Ever present is the lure of the “good life” as procured on social media: the best vacation, the most extravagant reveal party, the perfect latte…20's are searching for the good things in life while often struggling to tolerate anything that challenges their ideals. What may surprise you is that 20's are open, curious, teachable and hungry for authenticity, real community and practical wisdom for everyday life. That's what makes this conversation with Lynn Roush and Crossing 20's directors Nathan Tiemeyer and Colleen Luley so interesting. As 20's are coming of age, they're finding out that the source of the good life doesn't come from today's digital landscape, but from the ancient teachings of Jesus who points to where true life is found. If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow @withyouintheweeds on IG & FB for more great content!

Whether you're in college, work with, or are parenting a college student, this conversation with Austin, Kyle and Emilee will open your eyes as to why Gen Z is a generation worth investing in. Their curiosity and openness is evidence that God is doing something incredible in the lives of college students around the world. Gen Z is known as the loneliest and least religious generation of all time. Plagued by anxiety and isolation, college students are facing unique pressures and are looking for the pieces to the puzzle of life. Kyle Richter and Emilee McEnery, leaders of The Crossing college ministry, Veritas, see these obstacles as opportunities to introduce Gen Z to a relationship with Jesus and a chance to help them find their purpose in the world. The takeaway? “Don't sleep on Gen Z!” If you want to learn more about college students, check out these resources - especially the article that Kyle and Emilee wrote for The Gospel Coalition. Meet Gen Z Gen Z's Biggest Obstacles May Be Their Greatest Gospel Opportunities: Kyle Richter & Emilee McEnery Find Your People The Great DeChurching If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow @withyouintheweeds on IG & FB for more great content!

We were so excited to have Caroline Sundvold in the studio with us to share her story as part of our "What Are You Longing For" series! If you've browsed Netflix recently, you might have noticed a docuseries called “America's Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders” at the top of the most-watched list. Featured in the documentary is Missouri's own Caroline Sundvold, a DCC veteran who has since retired from the squad after five years. In the docuseries, Caroline shares the difficulty of transitioning out of life as a DCC while recovering from surgery and figuring out her future. In this episode, Lynn talks with Caroline about her life during and after her cheerleading days, including overcoming health challenges, navigating the pressures of competition, and letting go of the burden to be ‘perfect'.  She also explains how listening to the With You in the Weeds podcast has been a source of insight and inspiration to her as she's worked through disappointment, life transitions and processing her emotions.  You'll be encouraged by Caroline's honesty and authenticity as she shares how she takes care of her mental, emotional and spiritual health by pursuing her deepest longing: peace. If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds!

If you've been trying to read the mind of a teenager and still feel perplexed, today's episode is for you!  Today we ask: What does your teen really want? What are some challenges and opportunities they are facing?  How can you love your teen when they push you away?  What can you do to encourage their growth? Austin asks all of these questions and more to the co-directors of Crossing Students - Jeff Parrett and Anna West. You'll learn that teens are asking deep questions about identity, belonging and purpose that can be a catalyst for great conversations. This episode is full of wisdom and resources from two talented people who work with teens every day, so we know you'll be encouraged as you listen! Book Recommendations: 3 Big Questions That Change Every Teenager Parenting With Hope Habits of the Household The Worry Free Parent If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds!

Childhood cancer forced Samantha to face reality at an early age, but working through the myriad of emotions that come with hardship has been an ongoing process in her life. Giving herself permission to fall apart and “not be ok” was just one thing she learned through counseling. Battling cancer, infertility, infant loss and the journey of adoption are just a few elements of Samantha's story that will open your heart. In this special episode with Austin, she vulnerably shares her struggle with resting in Jesus when she's tempted to control everything around her. If you've ever wondered, “should I go to counseling?”, this conversation will open up a whole new world for you. Not shying away from hard topics, Austin and Samantha discuss how counseling can be a way to work through life's hardships, learn tools for healthy coping, and get comfortable with negative emotions.  To hear more from Samantha, find her podcast Going There, where she invites women to get away from shallow conversations and go deep into their friendships and relationship with God. If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review.  You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.