Fess Up!

In this extra-special landmark 50th episode, the Fess Girls do what they promised several episodes ago and deliver a special episode in which they discuss how many traps in Home Alone 1 (1990), Home Alone 2 (1992), and The Parent Trap (1998) would have killed their victims. In doing so they discover that Marv is the ultimate human punching bag, the Sticky Bandits probably have superhuman durability, Kevin does, without a shadow of a doubt, become John Kramer aka Jigsaw, and Kevin McCallister & Hallie Parker are the deadliest OTP there ever was.   Click here to see the video referenced several times in this episode

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from The Fess Girls! In this holiday episode, Amy realizes that she has the hubris of the mighty seagull. The girls remake holiday songs about classic stories, talk about the mortality status of the Toy Story toys, and discuss which fictional santa they are. They come up with new ways to scar your children at Christmastime and discuss history's earliest kinks. What a great present this episode is! Gift it to a friend, no need to waste any wrapping paper!

The Fess Sisters are back with another episode of Fess Up! They discuss the weird origin of pink lemonade, debate which Game of Thrones characters would win in a roasting contest, and discuss the sexuality of Santa Claus. They have Rick and Morty play the Newlywed Game and they figure out what two Bob's Burgers characters they are!

The Fess Girls get spooky just days after Halloween's end for this episode of Fess Up! They talk haunted house improvements, who would win in a showdown between a witch, a mummy, a cat, and frankenstein, and assign Hogwarts houses to fictional characters. They make sure they "Consider the Lobster", they ruin fictional horror villains one by one, and they discover what Nightmare Before Christmas characters they are! Remember, folks: Crones are pointy and Hags sag!

In this episode the Fess Sisters get distracted at every turn—ooh, look over there! They discuss the surname of Alan Tudyk, describe themselves as eggs, and consider if racecar drivers like to drive when they're not at work. They think about what the world would be like if hair changed like leaves, and decide which two Solar Opposites characters they are.

The Fess Girls are back at it with an extra-musical episode that just drives home one universal truth: Every conversation can circle back to cannibalism. In this episode, the Girls parody a classic Disney number, they discuss Wookiee reproductive systems, and they theorize about the various kinks in Bikini Bottom. To bring a little wholesome to the raunchy, they also figure out what two Mamma Mia Characters they are. Be sure to listen to the very end, you won't want to miss the post-credits scene!

In this episode the Fess Sisters put a new spin on a public domain, discuss why Voldemort is useless, rank how good the Disney Princes are in bed, decide if Superman or Scarlet Witch is more powerful, and figure out which two The Boys characters they are. Come for the icebreakers, stay for the arguments about tree shrews.

The Fess Girls spend their forty-third episode talking about the little known bible verse Mars 9:18: "He who weareth the Hamster Bubble jumps in front of the train". They talk about the strange things Marissa agreed to when she didn't read the Terms & Conditions, and they talk about what Star Wars prequel characters they are. And if you're listening to this, and you're a time traveler about to go back in time: don't forget to bring your sour patch kids.

In this episode the Fess sisters go on a tangent-filled journey to discover the meaning of life by discussing if Remy the Rat or Stuart Little would win in a fight, whether or not they would be able to run a haunted bed and breakfast, and ranking their past and current celebrity crushes by most likely to be an axe murderer. Eventually they uncover Mike Wazowski's biggest secret.

If potty humor's not your thing, this is not the episode for you! In this episode the fess sisters create new equivalents to "bullshit", they discuss what horrors the chamberpot in Beauty and the Beast must have seen, Ena comes up with a Joker theory that is shitty in more ways than one, and Marissa shares a personal conspiracy theory that she is, in fact, a mealworm. Come for the poop jokes, stay for the Peacemaker What Two are You!

In this episode, the Fesses get philosophical about Schrodinger's Cat... and how it is out for revenge. They discuss who is the furry beneath the Easter Bunny's suit, reveal the true villains of High School Musical, and discover what two characters they are from Our Flag Means Death. When the episode ends, the sisters are dead. And alive. Explain that one, Schrodinger.

In this episode, see what the Fesses are like after hours! Ena and Marissa cause chaos as they stay up past their bedtimes and Amy (of all people!) is forced to try and reign them in! The Fess Girls talk about new animals for Medusa's head, new games for Squid Games: America Edition, and a new genre of soup! Enjoy the experience of Fess Up ...at night!

In this episode The Fess Sisters discuss a Wife Swap of Helen Parr and Linda Belcher, find out which two Disenchantment characters they are, and even get a cameo from the sister formerly known as Miss Not Appearing On This Podcast. They also make a totally real pitch of a tv show to Taika Waititi, who is definitely listening. Hi, Taika Waititi!

While we don't say it in the episode, Happy Birthday to Marissa! What we DO say in this episode includes words about pancake-shaped foods, an idea for a hit Hollywood movie about hunky Bakku the Hutt (who is real look him up), how Superman needs to do sit ups in the marianas trench to get a good workout, what two childhood games we are, and how the teletubbies live in Middle Earth: confirmed.

In this episode, the Fess sisters discuss their school's legendary Ghostbusters dance, figure out what the government is hiding on the food pyramid, and create a bizarre creature that inhabits the afterlife. They decide which The Good Place characters they are and figure out how to read someone's fortune from their butt.

In this incredibly fckwithable episode of Fess Up, the Fess Girls discuss the deadliest fruits and veggies, which Disney Princess knew about the birds and the bees before their movies, and whether or not they'd turn into an animate cup if it meant 10 free years of childhood. They decide which Star Wars characters are marriage material and also what two Tom Hanks Characters they are!

In this episode the Fess Girls wonder why every home's front door opens up to their stairs, realize Shrek and Han Solo are actually the exact same character, and figure out which celebrities are the Wario to each other's Mario. They discuss which characters they are from What We Do In The Shadows, and most importantly they sing about how they do NOT want to build a snowman.

It's a New Year, which means a New Season of Fess Up! But don't worry, the Fess Girls are back in 2022 with the same shenanigans. In this episode, they discuss their new year's resolutions, talk about what happens to Andy after Toy Story and Dorothy after The Wizard of Oz. They discuss Mike Wazowski and Thanos' shared bloodline, and our shared bloodline with our treacherous mosquito offspring. And we talk about America's favorite movie, Encanto!

The Fess Sisters are kicking off the New Year with another episode of holiday cheer. They play The Ol' Switcheroo, replacing the characters of The Princess Bride with ones from Elf. They discover the true nefarious identity of Kevin McCallister, dig into the fascinating transformation of Scott Calvin's Boss into Father Time, and invent the Christmas movie the world has been dreaming of.

In this episode, the Fess Girls discuss how Jareth would throw a rad party, the relationship of Statler and Waldorf,  and Statler's illustrious drag career. They recast the Harry Potter franchise with American actors. Marissa explains why socks are the true villainy of this world, and Ena practices being the jigsaw she was meant to be. Stick it out to the end for the next great Christmas Anthem. Also, Jeff Bezos, you should tweet about this episode. We know you're listening.

HAPPY 30TH EPISODE! In this very special episode of Fess Up, we bring in a very special guest: A Redhead with big FOMO! Listen as the Fess Girls and their mother discover a new Disney crackship, discuss who would win Naked and Afraid, and give Jerry of "Tom and Jerry" the hate he deserves! Amy insists she is a competent firemaker because of her many Fire Trips, and because it's a special landmark episode, we give you a present: The best insult of all time!

On this episode, the Fess Girls attempt to correlate pineapple on pizza and eating ass. They take DC and Marvel names literally only to discover that The Great Gatsby is where superheroes go to die. They also ponder what The Joker would be like as an impractical joker. Ena gets emotional over Medusa's snakes and too philosophical about phones, and the Fesses try to rank the Avengers by their natural musk! It's a wild time!

It's Spooky Halloween, and in this episode the Fess sisters discover that one of them is a vampire and another is a werewolf. They discuss which Addams Family characters they are, just how long it takes to do a rubik's cube, what villain they would be a sidekick for, and whether or not you can trust a nurse who's married to a mortician.

In this episode, the Fesses discuss why they should have an impractical jokers-style tv show. They answer all of Steve's burning questions, including which iconic love triangles in fiction would be improved with polyamory. They come up with sister saw traps, re-cast a famous fantasy trilogy with muppets characters, and discuss what two Ted Lasso characters they are. And they do it all for Steve!

The Fess Girls are up to their usual antics! On this episode they delve into the bizarre songs that turn them on, enter a deep philosophical discussion about whether the Kool-aid Man is the juice or the jar, and the referee causes the ultimate scandal in a dramatic Trial by Combat!

What episode is funnier than 24? 25! Join the Fess Girls for their twenty-fifth episode in which they make an anxiety ass pact to get dummy thicc because their brains are sicc. They talk misleading superhero costumes and the shows that fill them with the most rage. They talk makeovers for elusive beasts. And Amy obsesses over Norm Scully's face for a little while because how could you not?!

Ena throws off Amy's groove in this episode of Fess Up! Marissa and Ena both complain about dating apps. Amy makes a realization about a movie that we all know and love and how it is actually a PG Saw movie. The Fess Girls try to find the strangest connection between Grandmother Willow and Pillows, and they also try to figure out what two RomComs they are! Is there something sinister binding Ariel and Flounder's friendship in The Little Mermaid? Find out in this episode!

In this episode, the Fess Girls remind Ena what 3 Billy Goats Gruff is and realize that Kindergarten failed them. They talk about what celebrity is speaking to them telepathically and Ena admits that despite being an egg-obsessed fool, she doesn't know what an omelette is. Marissa issues a PSA Call-to-Action: Find this specific childhood educational video game. Topical things such as Twilight and The Olympics are discussed alongside not-topical things such as the superior British insultist.

In this episode, Marissa tells a story of purple vomit, Amy rants about wood carving, New hot slang terms for toenails are invented, and Ena introduces the concept of Sea Furries. Who is the villain of The Little Mermaid? Ursula, Ariel, or Scuttle? You gotta listen to find out. XOXO, Gossip Girl. SQUAWK.

In this episode, Amy talks about her craziest NYC experience that may or may not have been a time traveler's inspiration for the movie Twister. The Fesses discuss one specific Disney Princess' vampirism and how to incorporate Mambo #5 into your dating profile. They talk about what two Disney Cats they are and have a peek into the marital issues of three Disney hunks. And, of course, they discuss the power and majesty of The Fart™.

In what is absolutely the most chaotic episode of Fess Up! Yet, a Fess Up! Fan inspires a new segment called "Judge my Taste". Amy also creates a new segment called "Craigslist Craziness" And introduces the world to "The Potato Saga". Ena makes a life-altering joke while several of Amy's jokes do not receive the attention they crave. Marissa owns up to a dog treat-infused past. The Fesses collectively realize they have never actually eaten stromboli. To view the visuals discussed in this episode, follow the link here: https://bit.ly/FessUp20

In this episode The Fess Girls create a new animated hit movie about porcupines! Amy fears Elon Musk will “Batman the shit out of her” and Marissa discovers that she is the villain in one Full House lead's story. Marissa ruins pugs for Ena and Ena ruins jokes for Amy. They talk about porta-potties and presidential hookup protocol. And last but not least, there is a healthy dose of speak of the polyamorous community of Gay santas, just in time for Pride! 

In this episode, the Fess Girls discuss movies that are particularly stinkerous. They discuss what Disney Park Ride they would be, how they would win an elephant war, and Ena's clicky-pen eyeballs. They wish for things and then ruin those wishes, and they even create new, false identities! You're going to be using their new slang term for self-gratification after this episode. We guarantee it.

In this episode, the Fess Girls discuss the age-old "sandwich or salad?" debate. They also discuss how werewolves are allergic to cheese, and how boujee beavers are. Amy challenges Marissa and Ena to a duel of compliments and things do not go as planned! The Fesses also determine what two Spongebob Characters they are and you won't want to miss it!

A special Happy Birthday Amy episode brings up a lot of talking points. These include: Talking about the Titanic’s cuisine offerings, coming up with a new Birthday Song, Discovering there are some rules in jazz, Colin Mochrie's Improv Secret, and Jason Momoa's Mighty P3N1$. The Fess Girls won't stop talking about DJ Blue, and also make a plea to Jeff Bezos: If you're gonna have all that f*cking money anyway, please just become Batman or Iron Man. And also let your workers unionize.

Things get heated with the Fess Girls when they attempt to rank the most datable Rick and Morty characters. The Fesses share their racehorse names with the world for the first time, and they discuss Sonic the Hedgehog's marriage-ruining capabilities. Also, animal butts. Lots of animal butts.  Also in this landmark episode, the moment you've all been waiting for: The Fess Girls finally decide what two Shrek Characters they are! Shrek is love, Shrek is life. 

In this episode, Ena makes a startling admission to the rest of her sisters about what she believes to be the correct lyrics to a very popular song. This leads to the Fess Girls taking an entirely different popular song and giving it a whole new context. The Fesses craft "Hannah Montana"-style alter egos for themselves and decide what two Harry Potter Characters they are. Don't forget: If it's green, it's clean!

The Fess Girls discuss Ena's outrageous new outfit, why Amy is the most "mature" of the sisters, and whether or not Satan is actually pink. The girls play The Newlywed Game and Ena discovers that accents are hard. The Fesses ruminate on the origins of clapping and explain why it is important to put 'Not a dentist' on your dating profiles.

The Fess Girls discover that the writer of "You're a Grand Old Flag" also wrote a riveting musical lost to time about a mysterious figure known as George Washington, Jr. They discuss the sins of drinking milk in public and get in depth about the family dynamics of Godzilla, the Geico Gecko, and Joanna the Goanna.

Fess Up! Is back with a whole new look! After a grueling quarantine, The Fess Girls have returned to podcasting and are here to stay! In this episode, they talk about important topics like the relationship between Pennywise, Mary Poppins, and Nanny McPhee, and also the state of Mama and Papa Bear's marriage. They also discover that all answers are right, but some are simply more right than others.

In this landmark tenth episode, the Fess sisters get heated when talking about superior ring fingers. They discover a new maritime tongue twister, clown culture, and the sex life of one fictional couple. Within you will hear proof that no one can say "do do" without making doo doo jokes, and also that young people really do forget what technology existed in the 60s. Also, we discover Amy is part goat. Send Fess Up! to your friends #TheFessUpChallenge

In this episode, The Fess Girls discover what revenge Frosty the Snowman yearns for. Amy displays several fundamental misunderstandings about Star Wars aliens. The world's worst sandwich is invented. Ena is disappointed in how much of a Danny Tanner she is, and together, we discover The Headless Horseman's shameful kink. Time to Fess Up: Ridiculous Questions. Real Conversations. Redonkulous butts. 

FESS UP'S BACK, ALL RIGHT! The Fess Girls return from their hiatus gigglier than ever! Listen as they give helpful karate advice, discuss the newest dip sweeping the nation: Martyole, discuss the origins of the famous Marty McFlart, And create a new alcoholic drink called "Donkey on the Rocks". What DC characters are the Fess Girls? Listen to find out! Also, listen to Amy's awful Harley Quinn impression. Seriously. It's bad. Books Discussed in this episode: How to Ditch your Fairy by Justine Larbalestier

After a hiatus of sadness, The Fess Girls are back with an episode jam-packed with bad Amy opinions. Listen within to find out which Fess would survive what horror franchise, what zombie apocalypse dream team each sister would have, and what Stranger Things characters each Fess is! Brace Yourself: Marissa's mic gets wonky about halfway though! (This is why we can't have nice things). Episode 8 will be up in two weeks, so mark your calendars and stay #obFESSed until then!

Hamstersneeze TrumpetNoseBlow, Freckles McSunburn, and NoFun LifesAMistake return this week using their mouth muscles to yap about what questions they will never say yes to, God Tier Disney Dads, their ideas for the next great movie franchise, and what Arrested Development characters they are. The Fess Girls show off their rap skills and also give the classic movie "The Parent Trap" a much-needed face lift! Try to keep the twins in THIS reboot straight! The Fesses sure can't!

The Fess Girls are at it again; This time discussing what your go-to Mario Kart character says about you (Disclaimer: We all hate Toad. A lot. A lot a lot.), what celebrity would win the ultimate hunger games, Amy's strange childhood crushes, gross food combos, and what all of our biggest weaknesses are. Also in this episode: a fight amongst two of the sisters can only be solved through a Trial by Combat!

In this week's episode, Ena explains why she is a human disaster. Questions are asked about the best safe words, Sims 1 personality assesments, DnD Alignments, and Disney Villains. The Fess Girls give each other the best and worst (verbal) tattoos, and have a healthy discussion on why Marissa is known as the Poop Fairy.  The words of the week are: Necromancer's Stage, Grabby Stick, and Evil Flute.

After the longest "week" of this millennia, The Fess Sisters are back and discussing the cast of Queer Eye's facial hair, the best celebrity butt doubles, hilarious cat videos, the ultimate fictional character spouse, and introducing the modern world to the much-loved colloquialism for the philtrum: the pofe. Are you #obFESSed? 

While battling the forces of technical difficulties, the Fess Sisters discuss Dennis Quaid and his villainy, the most important joke left out of The Book of Mormon, what Marvel characters they are, sexual dimorphism, and how cheese dust and ginger ale are made.  Come for the content, stay to listen to the Fesses attempt to play marry, bang, kill with the universe's three most hated characters: Littlefinger, Ross Geller, and Grandpa Joe. Are you #obFESSed?  

Meet The Fess Girls: Amy, Marissa, and Ena! These three funny ladies are sisters who love coming up with zany questions and conversation starters. Listen in as they discuss tasty mythological creatures, Disney crackships, what constitutes cannibalism, George Takei's name, what Game of Thrones character they are, and the true meaning of the name Fess. Are you #ObFESSed ?   Want to get your weird question on the show? Tweet @FessUp_Podcast or email thefessuppodcast@gmail.com for the chance! Keep up-to-date with the Fesses by following us on instagram, @fessuppodcast and remember: Clayrice is the best ship.