Higher Education

I just need to admit it - I bricked. I meant to post this episode like four weeks ago, and I went online and was like yeah I'll be posting weekly. Everyone believed me completely, so I gotta be transparent here. And that's what this episode is truly about: being better. We are going to start providing a higher level of quality starting right after this sentence.Anyway I totally forgot what this episode was about. Please listen to it regardless. Follow our socials!Love,Jay

Janno here once again. Writing this caption because I'm the one uploading the episode this time. Let's see.The council debates the age old question of whether it's better to be a boy going to Jupiter to get more stupider, or a girl going to college to get more knowledge.Also--you fuck with indoor or outdoor pools?Find out the right opinion in just an hour.

With everything on the line, the council convenes to decide two major battles: Donald Glover vs Childish Gambino, and Alien Invasion vs Zombie Outbreak. It's not zombies...Honestly, when did people get all obsessed with watching people getting eaten alive? I figured after the first ever zombie movie humanity would have shat itself in fear and been all like Good Lord we must unite to make sure the T-Virus never gets out. I blame Resident Evil personally, like why is a ZOMBIE virus labeled with the letter T? And I'M the one who failed English in the 6th grade?Follow our socials, there's a non-zero chance that this podcast helps you achieve orgasm.Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

The council convenes to settle a few long-standing rivalries, like Surf v. Turf and Tom v. Jerry. The decisions made are kinda final but not really but still final.Pending further review.Follow us on socials for Sonic the Hedgehog themed content posted tri-centenially.

The council time travels to make decisions on some of the biggest deals in the early 2000's: Peak CN vs Nick and X-Men vs Sam Raimi Spider-Man. Remember to punish the defeated accordingly, or just burn CD's and destroy them. Either is fine, really.We'll see you next week for more important decisions.

No, not like going to a different decade, just like going back mentally but you're still here. Either way the Council makes two vital decisions for the inner-child: soft-serve vs hard ice cream and Pokemon TCG now vs before.Adjust your life accordingly and we'll see you next week!

The council convenes for two big face-offs: Moo Deng vs. Pesto the Penguin and Stuart Little vs. Remy. Someone thought they were gonna shoot 2 for 2 from the free throw line on this one. Gonna leave it at that. The real winner for both is snakes. Like, pretty sure on that one. I trust that one movie where the snakes were the main bad guy, but also I fell asleep during so maybe I missed some steps. Follow our socials and we'll see y'all next week!

Two main topics on the tables tonight: picking a decisive conspiracy theory and settling the Ultimate Warrior debate. Alien vs Predator. I watched that movie when I was a kid but hadn't seen any of the source material. I was rooting against both. Now that I've seen both movies, I am rooting against both. Acid blood is overrated, ingest more bases. Not like a dangerous amount mind you, but still, even yourself out. Follow us on social media and we'll see y'all next week!

Hey everyone--Janno here. I'm writing the caption for this episode and boy oh boy am I excited. Let's see...in this ep looks like we talk about shitting our pants. Wow for like a really long time. Hmm. Well uh, wish it wasn't my turn to do this but uh here goes. Janno argues that walkable cities are overrated, while Jay proposes whether laser tag or Chuck E Cheese was the cooler kids birthday party. See what the high council decides is the correct opinion on this episode! As always, follow us on social media for more eps. See y'all next week :>)

The council reconvenes after a hiatus to deliberate on two major topics: getting into Star Wars now and which Spider-Man is the Chosen One? The moral of both stories is to step your reference game up. For advice, follow us on social media. Our references are solid af. See y'all next week!

Two topics are brought before the council: are the Beatles still good, and are Roguelites getting out of hand? Which then brings up the question: why didn't they Roguelite Guitar Hero when it died? Like, we all bought those dumbass controllers, can't play Halo on 'em so maybe? Shouts out to our boy Indy for presenting before the council. He made a pretty fun game that you can find on Steam. The game comes out October 24th, AND there's a demo! https://store.steampowered.com/app/2927520/Tower_of_Nod/ Follow our Socials and we'll see you next time!

The council convenes to speak of two important topics: the best TV Talent Shows and the need/desire to ever visit Manhattan. Now I know what you're thinking, where else can I find Madame Tussauds? And the answer may surprise you: Atlantic City. AND you can gamble there. My money's on that one. Follow our socials.

We have risen out of the ashes of our law firm building (unrelated to current claims) to answer the true calling of society: telling people how to feel about things. As such, we discuss Video Game movies in conjunction with sharing our hopes for progeny. Though many factors may influence such hopes, we focus on one central point: Valorant Son or Overwatch Daughter. Follow us on X and keep your eyes on our TikTok, which will be resurrecting soon.

It's been a minute but we're back, and had to talk about it. Really didn't expect him to die. Crazy. War indeed never changes. We talked about other stuff too, but the OJ stuff is... well, it exists. So much so that I have nothing more to talk about here, so follow our socials and we'll see you later!

all i can say is they were always right. either way tHe boys arE back to talk about the hot goss these past two weeks: Diddy and lIzzo but not both at the same time, like Divided? I mean not looking greaT for both but one team is def worse off you know? Also Lizzo backtracked on the music thing, not sure what the real meaning was but it's really all the same. If there's anyone to really be mad at, remember how Jay-Z said he was gonna quit music after the Black Album? That's waaaaay worse in my opinion but whatever. Hold up, someone's at the door. Follow us on socials and we'll see y'all in two weeks!

Always a party, even if it's a week late. When did you pop your Whopperginity? Yeah that felt awful to type. Either way Kid Michael tells us about his First Time, to much laughter. I remember my First Time: it was on a beach and... I should not share the rest of this story. Also we talked about the movies again because all you really wanna do is think about the next popcorn bucket promo. It's the "chaotic good" of modding. "Chaotic evil" can be found on Tik Tok, but you're better off not finding it. No more details available. Follow us on social media, send us memes and videos that we'll definitely watch without a doubt! See y'all next time!

The new MLB pants are out, and I gotta get me a pair ASAP. But nothing like lycra-thin active sportswear to get the boys talking about... well I mean come on. There's literally only one direction that this conversation could have went. Host desire for pants unrelated. Also we talked about how we're being lied to about plastic recycling. Really makes you reconsider all the eco-friendly tips we've learned over the years. Time to take a long, hard look at what they told us and think for a minute: does it make sense? And if you don't wanna do that, just listen to the episode. Follow us on media and we'll see you for our next episode! We're caught up to scheddy so we'll be returning to bi-weekly for now, but there might be some SPICY content for the Patreon coming soon (not porn)! Follow our OnlyFans as well, name redacted for national security purposes. SEE Y'ALL NEXT TIME!

Let's pretend I misspelled Dragon in the title, but also act like it means more than it should... Either way big surprise as we hire a new Junior Associate to the firm, KID MICHAEL. Though he may be young, he can remember anything he reads and then use it in law. It seems like a TV show but he insisted and I'm doing a new thing this year where I trust people. EITHER EITHER WAY we talk about the common conception of dragons and how it confuses me in Martial Arts. This is because I have a limited world view and never got to read mythology from anywhere else but the white-ass education system. Though if I'm being real, those dragons are cool as fuck. We also talk about getting scammed IRL, and this makes for the third episode of the season of one of us getting scammed. I'm starting to sense a trend... Follow us on the thingies (X, Tik-Tok, OnlyFans, BlueSky) and we'll see you next time!

I mean the title speaks for itself but I guess I have more characters... Anyways this episode the boys discuss something that's often thought of: who's your favorite Outkast member? I know there's only 2 but in law there's also only 2 so suck me. Even if that isn't right just accept it and move on. This episode is like, forever late. Spotify hit us with a lil switcharoo on the recording stuff but I've figured it out, and we're gonna catch up FAST cause I got shit to do during our vacay. SO TUNE IN NEXT WEEK CAUSE WE GOT A FUN LIL' SURPRISE FOR YALL. See y'all next time, follow the thingies!

Palworld exists, but the world of pals may not... idk what that means but we talked about Palworld and how everything is everywhere all at once. Frfr why does every game have to have everything in it? I'm a fan of games that do a few things really well. Like Megaman X or Battletoads, I get pissed at the bike level. Do one thing and be good at it. Life lesson. Also we watched the OnlyFans cooking show together while muted in incognito mode so that you don't have to! Subscribe to Jay's OF page so that he can be a contestant! Follow us on the things, we'll see y'all next time!

This was a long time coming. Lego has been bricking left and right in the age where they really could swang. To prove it, Lego Fortnite did what they literally should have done like 3 years ago. The video games they have now are okay, but if you really think about it they should be so much more. Either way, face the thrilling tale of one person who just wanted to go to a comedy show, but got so much more. Tbh he just keeps getting targeted by the internet, at this point I would have become a hermit but the human soul is indomitable or some shit like that either way don't be late to stuff. See y'all next time!

This is essentially a part two for last episode, turns out sometimes you just gotta take a hard look in the mirror and be like damn, I'm pretty gullible. Rather than take a narrow focus and see how bad the problem is, we zoomed all the way out and looked for all the dumb little moments of weakness in which advertising weaseled something useless into our lives. Also we talked about the good old days of non legalization, and how people just suck. Not all people, surely not all dealers. But come on, that shit was unbearable back then. Every time I go to the dispensary I think, "At least I'm not waiting in the snow for some guy who's gonna flake on me after 2 hours." The future fucking rocks. Follow us on stuff, we'll see you next time!

You know, I never thought I was an easy target for ads until Tik-Tok happened. Like, I was always the type to immediately skip ads so I just learned to tune them out, but now ads are also people? I just don't know anymore, we may be closing in on the Matrix here. Either way we recount some of the best scams we fell under through the monstrosity of Tik Tok. Also we talk about The Karate Kid and how it created weeb culture. Everytime older people highroad you about what you enjoy, remember these people were watching Ralph Macchio and calling him Daniel-san. YIKES. If you listen and still don't believe me, go to a YouTube comments section for a Karate Kid clip. That's all I need to say about that. See y'all next time!

I forgot to post last week, that's on me. Either way peoples be going on vacation. This is a fact. In this ep, two of the boys are coming back from Vegas, regaling us with tales outside the casino... or inside? I think the buffet was inside? Honestly my memory is not what it used to be but I'm trying, damn it. Also get swizzled with another great story from Jay's memory vault, this time going all the way back to elementary school! You may not have known from the way he looks, but Jay used to be a master of Krav Maga. Well at least the nut-punching part, he was really good at that. If only we could return to the people we used to be... Follow us on the sites we use! You know the ones, we're 60 eps in at this point if you're reading this, blarble shnirts, but also you totally know where to find us. Next episode in a week, to return to the Sacred Posting Schedule, see you then!

It's 5am and I'm starting to notice some destructive patterns so let me get to this describing so I can wake up in 3 hours for work... The boys are back in town in a smaller session, discussing the eviles of the bartering arts, the Guy who is known to Family, and how to give a motherfucker a litmus test. Don't say we never taught you anything. Follow us on the places! Is there even a good social networking app out anymore? Still haven't gotten an invite to the other one, but I also don't remember the name so who really lost here? Either way we're still on X, Tik-Tok, and Twitch! See y'all next time!

People will do anything I swear, it's crazy: I would never go on a show where I gotta get full naked. Boxers maybe. Briefs perhaps. Full on day 1'ing it on broadcast? You got me all levels of fucked up. Ain't no way! Anyways now that it's out of my system, we talked about people getting naked on a dating show, the name escapes me at this moment in time but also it don't matter. What really matters is how far we've come as a civilization to just be letting it all hang out on TV like this. But since we are, is getting hard on national TV a crime? It feels like it should be????? I don't understand anything anymore, I wanna go on a spiritual journey around the world for years but I'm afraid that when I come back dating shows are gonna evolve into full on porn, or show social security info or something. We also talked about Castlevania and the maniac who's bringing the story to Netflix. Shouts out to that person, because I played Symphony of the Night and had no fucking idea there was even a story. And even still I loved that game. Now there's just more to love. And the bro's popping out a Devil May Cry show? I've been pandered to and I'm glad someone's using my internet search history correctly. Check us out on the fun places (X, Tik-Tok, Twitch) and we'll see y'all next time!

Back at it again, just like school in September, and the traffic is worse too! We talk about the joys of getting borked by public transportation, solving the problem of "MTA" once and for all! Or maybe not, someone's gotta try it out and let us know. We also talk about the Black Eyed Peas, or at least their glory days. Download my mixtape "Where is the Love pt3" coming next week on Soundcloud! Follow us wherever the following's good! (X, Twitch, Tik Tok, etc) See you next time!

I thought we'd heard the end off it and then bam new ways to mistrust our fellow people. Honestly Oher should rip them a new one, that movie did NOT have him looking good, AND NO MONIES???? Come on brobro not like this for realsies. On an unrelated note, looking for a white family to adopt me and teach me football. If you look wild in khakis hit us up on X, Twitch, etc! I respond at 4am. See yall next time!

You know, I never thought I'd have to think of this, yet here we are: a society where the Island Boys are boinking online. There is no more salvation, we have become the Mario 64 painting that takes you to the lava world. I imagine that was supposed to be hell? Either way this ain't it. Ace Reporter Sean will be watching the content and reporting back with all the vital details at a later date, once he restocks on molly and lube. Speaking of destroyed childhood, we also talk about Pokemon Sleep, which set the bar really low for people who swear by Pokemon. This also was not it. I've never seen a company go to mobile and then wreak havoc with microtransactions like this! All sarcasm aside though, this is pretty sad but at least the intention is good. The Bad Timeline patented "Pokemon Stroke," and we don't have to discuss that any further. Follow us where we be, Twitter, Twitch, Tik-Tok, etc! And we'll see you in 2 weeks!

You know, I've come to realize that I have not gone on a vacation in a long ass time. Like, I straight up do not leave my home city. Most people would be disgruntled by that, but honestly nothing beats the good old staycation. Fuck leaving and going to places, especially now that I'm back on that Snake Tik-Tok. I will never travel again! Fuck a boomslang, you get me? Anyways Sean went places and did stuff, so it's nice to hear about other places. He didn't go to Olive Garden in Italy, which like HUHH?????? Couldn't have beem me, sounds like someone isn't big on family, idk. I'm just gonna let it slide this time, but the next time he fucks on Olive Garden I might have to throw the colors on. My vacation was Barbenheimer, two amazing films. Honestly, Barbie changed my worldview. Oppenheimer did nothing to the way I think, that guy still sucked, and he definitely was NOT having all that sex. I'm done with Hollywood being like forgive this dude he fucks. I fuck, and no one's forgiven me for shit! Out here telling me that this gangly, busted atom bomb making fuck was schlanging that wood like a seasoned lumberjack? Lie to someone else buddy. Lucky for them the acting was A+. Follow us on the usual places, Twitter, Twitch, Tik-Tok (coming back with a vengeance), and something else that I can't remember right now. I'd say check another episode but honestly, it's not that deep. Check out our OnlyFans, dropping soon!

I have no words for what's going on right now, I thought they were kidding about this when they spoke about it but since then I've been getting the Tik Toks and I gotta say, I've learned so much in this past week. I should have definitely been a stripper. Or like a trampoline guy, or like a snake dude but definitely shoulda dropped out of school first. I can't believe people pay to watch this, but at the same time I totally get it. Like watching someone break themselves mentally for money... fuck, that's sick. Every year we prove another Young Adult-Fiction Dytopia writer correct, and it's time to change my literary focus in school. Remember to buy my new book on Amazon, "Moonbeam," in which a young hybrid Bear-Man rejects society and finds love in said society so he like breaks a little out of his shell and he also has powers but only when he licks honey off of a person. Sexually, nonsexually (still kinda sexually) it's whatever, as long as he takes in honey through the mouth that was previously touching skin. His biggest enemy is general cleanliness and people who don't like honey. Also we talked about Temu, because you KNOW you think it's a scam, but you never confirmed it. Let's just say it's exactly what you thought it would be but in a different way. Wanna know what we mean? Then just listen tbh, you shouldn't have made it this far into the fucking episode blurb. You should pretty much be skimming this after a while, which is fine cause I just gotta hit a word count to prove people who said I'd make these a lot shorter by the second season wrong. Skrum dum dum da dum! That should be long enough, let me bring it back to reality. Temu has a lot of stuff, but there's definitely a cost. Follow us on our other places, like Tik Tok, Twitch, X (yeah you know exactly what we're talking about here please subscribe), and other things that are in the works! We have a lot of interesting events happening, so do what it do as long as it is us and doing is listening! SEE YALL NEXT TIME!

You wanna know what the wildest MMO is out there? It's fuckin' social media. Think about that. It even has a pay-to-win system in it. Well either way Twitter is dying, or maybe I just keep forgetting to click the bird app thing on my phone. Granted, the last 3 times I opened Twitter at work it's just some wild shit and then my boss walks by and judges me for it, like I didn't upload that shit tf??? I upload normal stuff online, like how the Revolutionary War never happened and stuff like that. Totally normal. No oddities or extremes from me, not at all! Also they got me into a new MMO that isn't a social media except it has a general chat room, you can send private messages, you can form groups based on common interests ANY OF THIS SOUNDING FAMILIAR????? Fine I'll drop it, either way the game's pretty fun but as one of those people who played MMO's back in the Bronze Age, you know exactly where the bar is on those. Follow us on Twitter (lol), Twitch, Tik Tok and the like! Lots more stuff coming up soon, keep them eyeholes peeled friends. See you next time!

The Expendables are going a bit too far with the age thing, but I really wanna see 50 Cent in the new one. Like, how many action movies has he been in? Meaning that his presence is based off the sole fact that he got shot 9 times. Note to public: if you want to be an action star, get shot in real life and survive??? Honestly nothing means anything anymore, catch me in Expendables 5 as a weird Indiana Jones's assistant type deal. And I will hard carry that movie for shure. Anyways we talk about Sylvester Stallone trying to defy the claws of Father Time with television. We'll see if it works in the next season of Tulsa King.

We at the Offices of Higher and Education do not take to slander and libel as shared through the Kid Michael subsidiaries. These false accusations require us to share that which was accused. Well, here it is.

4cr/1hr: It's the season finale! Man, it's been a while coming but the season is over. I can finally go on that vacation I was totally planning on doing. Either way we revisit an early idea when looking at the movie Chang can Dunk. That's right: Boogie 2. We kept poking the bear and they were like okay we'll do it, but only on the Disney Channel. Once again, Asian male Black female pairing, starting to feel targeted. Either way, at least this time they won't mention the schmeet ordeal. NEVER LET EDDIE HUANG LIVE THAT DOWN. If that scene wasn't in Boogie, I mean it would have still sucked but maybe a little less. Either way, we'll keep it short, I've got an audition for the real Boogie 2 in 3 hours, and I need to stand outside naked in the cold to prep. Thanks for hanging with us this season, and we'll be spicing it the fuck up for the next one! SEE Y'ALL IN A MONTH!!!!!!! (most likely) Check out our Twitter/Twitch/Tik Tok for more info!

4cr/1hr: Back at it again with some thought-invoking ideas for y'all, and this time it's rock climbing. It's pretty fun. I couldn't use my body in any capacity for like, a week after, but honestly had a good time. Those shoes were annoying though. Wasn't about those shoes at all. Now if I could rock climb in some Galaxy Foamposites, now that would be something. I'd be literally the highest in the room. I mean I already am, but these new weed people be getting mixxy. There should be a way to one up them, I just can't think of it right now... Anyways I'm fresh as fuck but you could get like me by checking out our Twitch, Twitter, and Tik-Tok! We can finally say "The Three T's of Higher Education," which is a bit I've been hunting for a while. Come through and interact with us! SEASON FINALE IN 2 WEEKS! Get ready for that shit.

4cr/1hr: Okay yeah, I know what you're thinking, and before you're all like, wow that's pretty fucked up please remember that the blame rests entirely on Fire Emblem Engage. I didn't tell them to make a hand job feature. I didn't tell them that we wanted another 3-year-old-looking dragon to bork. Honestly they're really buying into the sex thing. Anyways I can't look at rings not-sexually anymore. I think I'll be staying away from jewelry for a while. Also the Hogwarts game makes us contemplate NYC spells, things for the New York City Wizard at heart. If you can think of a Wizarding School for NYC, lemme know because I can't even think of a name right now. If you think about it, these two topics are very similar. On the one hand, one author is tossing out these terrible ideas that are weirdly sexual and have no place being anywhere, and on the other hand, uh... the same thing. Think about it. Follow us on stuff! We like y'all enough for over-the-clothes action, but a little more love and who knows, maybe one day we can talk in broad daylight. See y'all next time!

4cr/1hr: Remember those Wicked Games the Weeknd was talking about? They're actually called wedding games of a certain persuasion. The persuasion is the chance of busting slop with your homies. This is why I can't trust anymore, one minute you're playing Mafia together and having a fun time then the next minute they're trying to suck face. I mean I'll do it but me and my therapist will be discussing it in length. Also ALL STAR WEEKEND starts today, right? I mean the popularity is dwindling because they haven't spiced up the Celebrity Game in a while, so tell them to listen to this as we break down the best Celebrity Team since like forever. Follow us on Twitter, Twitch and Tik-Tok. We are indeed about that life. Thanks for listening, we'll be back soon!

4cr/1hr: You know, I fully expect my death to have some song related to it. Like playing in the background or something. It just makes sense for the way life's going. The only thing I can do for this is make sure it's more heroic music and not like, the fuckin Chicken Dance song. Either way in this episode we talk about having a backing track to your death. Catch me with an 8 track outside so I'm always ready. You're probably thinking, why not just play music on your phone? Well we don't run the risk of ads like that... Also we talk about how to obliterate all traces of a character's identity as we look at the new Velma show. This is what happens when you ignore source material to run "Hug a White Guy Day" on Facebook Events. Making a whole page and shit to just bend the knee like that. Yikes! Hmm maybe yikes isn't right, come back to me on that one. Follow us @PodHigher on Twitter, Twitch, Tik-Tok, Ashley Madison, BeReal. Delete the other accounts and bookmark the 4th one. Send us messages hoping our day went well and tell us that our wife would be home if she really cared. Stroke our hair while we complain about our day, then leave through the window when we start to cry. For all you listeners and those AM subs, see you next time!

4cr/1hr: It's the Toy Story 4 predicament all over again... like they know we wanna see this but when I go to the movies, I roll deep. I got squad with me, I'm blazed out, I'm ready to yell obscenities at a movie screen much to the dismay of the people that brought me with them. And then you look around and you're surrounded, not only by chiddlers, but by their fuckin' parents who are like yeah the 12AM showing of this kids' movie on a weekday was a great idea for my child. Then I gotta blow my high and just go silent, end up crying from dry eye halfway through so it looks like Dragon Ball Super is tugging at my heartstrings and kids are just judging the shit out of me. Then I gotta stand up during the quiet part of the movie and assert my dominance by yelling "I'm an adult" while everyone I know is burying their faces in their clothes to avoid being grouped together with this travesty but no fuck you I paid $21 for this Adult ticket and I'm definitely gonna get my money's worth. Anyways, I'm giving up the movie theaters for Lent this year. Puss in Boots was excellent for an animated movie, and while I cried from dry eye I also cried for realsies during the actual sad parts. If it was a live-action film the title would have been confusing, but it was great here! I liked when they did the whole your dream is inside you thing, it's always so refreshing. The Jordan Peele horror movie version of that would be like surgically having your dreams implanted inside you. Now if he makes this movie, call my cell at any time and I'll give you a cut. Also we reflected about being dumbass kids doing dumbass kid stuff. Remember, dumbass kid stuff flourishes in the moments of idleness steeped in resentment. Spend time with your kids, but also don't take them to movies at 12AM so I can get fucked up in theaters and be myself. As always, hit us up on all of our platforms. Thanks for hanging out with us, our 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY is coming up and we celebrate pretty fucking hard.

So I recently watched John Wick 2 and 3, and the "excommunicado" thing was so extra. Like they were really trying to see how many times a character could say a Latin word that was almost indistinguishable from regular English. What's that called again? Either way I got caught cheating again and now my wife has declared me excommunicado, let me know if you can "get this man a bed." We talk movies and make some villain backstories for ourselves though. Speaking of which, if anyone recycles our ideas on TV then you're excommunicado too. If you do it in real life then tbh nothing bad has really happened and you need to stop complaining about the small stuff. I know I'm the one crashing on your couch but come on, a villain splashing you with dirt water is very low on the chart. Follow us on the social medias, we'll catch you later!

4cr/1hr: Damn this is our last episode for the year, ain't that crazy? We celebrate by not acknowledging any of the holidays and talk about recasting, everyone's favorite activity. Honestly I miss so many of the old cartoons that were out there, I learned so many life lessons from those shows. I don't even know what kids' shows talk about now, I imagine it's like chaotic Tik-Tok related. Could you imagine minute-long cartoons? That's the real nickelodeon right there. But not the company, the theaters that used to cost 5 cents. Also we talk about the worst dates we've ever been on, you know the type. Man, I've been taken some really dumbass places on dates and each time it's like people forgot about venues to go for talking. Come on, why on the first meeting are people going to the fuckin movies and concerts and shit. Now I gotta act like we totally connected and I heard every part of the conversation. My hearing is not the same anymore. I mean I LIKE going to these events but that's like, a month in. Go to like, coffee shops and fuckin parks and shit I don't know anymore. Whatever. Remember to check us out on Twitter, Tik-Tok, and sometimes Twitch! Our monthly game is coming up pretty soon! We have some amazing content coming in the near future, so be sure to enjoy it fully!

I've been awake for like, 48 hours but here we go. Aw hell yeah we're fuckin' back or something like that! Well Jules is either way. Turns out flooring on a sex dungeon is a longer task than you'd think it was, but hey, we're glad to have the company. Speaking of company, we talk about the time Jay got kicked out of a Yankee Candle, so that's pretty exciting. He ain't even do nothing bad in there, I mean he could have, but he DIDN'T. One would think that mattered at this point but noooooo, it's always something I reckon. Also we talk about the act of reloading. Always keep an eye on your HUD. It could save your life. Follow us on Twitch, Twitter, and Tik Tok! More content coming real soon, especially now that these dumbass essays are done! Thanks for hanging out with us, come back soon!

4cr/1hr: This is a full on discussion of narrative, and how important it is in today's art. Like come on, we get all these reboots and they all suck fat ones. I'm tired of this shit, give me some new content. We're doing new content though, think about that. Honestly though, take a look back at all the cool shit they've rebooted that's been good. All new narratives, even with the recycled characters. That's what it's about. Now watch my new hit movie Wolf of Wall Street 2 where he goes to space and sells moon rocks. Let's just say Lemmons will be the least of his problems, cause the first one is uh, air. We also discuss the Goofy movies, because Dad of the Year real talk. It's between him and Kratos right now so it's pretty real. But Goofy helped his son pull and back up his shit talk, giving him clout in the process so honestly, that's some impeccable fathering. As discussed in Superbad, we should not be blocking the cock but guiding it. Follow us on Twitter and Twitch @PodHigher, we have a big game coming up that we're running on Twitch. Our board game ideas have been getting interesting and we can't wait to enjoy them with people! Thanks for tuning in, see y'all next time!

4cr/1hr: We ran another game because honestly why not, other people have done this on pod too and I don't see you giving them shit about it. This is clearly a parody of people who play DnD on pod, except this isn't DnD. This is totally different. Anyways, take a good, hard look into what the cast thinks making it in the rap game is all about. I explained the rules beforehand and was expecting about half of what happened. The other half was pretty wild. People kept trying to make music even though the last turn would auto-create an album for you but hey, putting out lots of music on top of big drops is the Lil B way and I can't hate on that. Either way this was a great way to remind me that RNJesus hates me for some reason and has decided to turn 3% to 100% chance of failure. My story is tragic, bring Kleenex and start a GoFundMe when you get to it. We're definitely gonna be running this game again on our Twitch @PodHigher, so come through and judge us for our decisions in life! When will we be doing this? Check the Twitter @PodHigher! Wow, what ease of access! We'll see you next time.

4cr/1hr: Students will engage with scenarios about us getting fucked over by big business in the workforce and through leisure. No seriously, I have so many stories about me just getting bodied by Corporate America, like this one time I went to an "open bar" company party for sales and they were like make sure you drink a lot so I got absolutely tanked and no one was happy. Why do we lie like that? I once read an article talking about how Americans are the only ones who drink to get fuckin slizzard so why did I get shamed? Ph.D for anyone who can justify that. The degree won't do anything but it normally costs a lot so you'll be saving money on this one, my G. We also talk about a new way to "Take Care" of your foes. That was not a threat, that was a Drake citation. Not sure if there was gonna be confusion there but I like to play it safe with these suits, I mean I asked about them and they told me things... Either way keep an airpod out for that one, you can always learn something here at the Very Real University of Higher Education. Here at VRUHE, we don't know how to pronounce our acronym when using it in daily conversation. It's the R but if I take it out that's fake as fuck. What a Catch-22. We have a special intern with us looking to transition to full time employment, you can see more of him on Twitch @https://www.twitch.tv/iravarra so enjoy that too. As always, hang with us on Twitter, Twitch, Tik-Tok, and other places where I just happen to be. Stop me in a Starbucks and be like wow I can't believe you said that go to hell. Really seals the morning flavor in for my Sumatra that I totally get, not blonde roast. Thanks for hanging with us though, and we'll see you next time!

1hr/4cr: I've never seen someone be pro-concussion, until the NFL really started popping off. You'd think it's not even an argument but apparently it is. When faculty pitched this segment to me I was like uh, how are you gonna have a hot take on concussions? Well the NFL does. Weird, right? Oh it's sad that they can't take care of players and just let half of them die physically or mentally? Well my favorite team has sucked for a minute so I think it's a perfect time to spend Pats games persecuting those involved with everything that happened. Anyways you know what it is and what we do, so thanks for vibing with us and doing it big for the do-it-big trip. What is that? Uh honestly I was supposed to post this episode like 5 hours ago and I fell asleep so you could blow me. I'm trying so hard, I have like 3 assignments due this week and the week is over so really I have 3 assignments due today. Either way, enjoy it and hit us up on Twitter, Twitch, and Tik Tok! All of the T's! Lates! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

4cr/1hr: Come on. You know we have to talk about it. What else could we possibly talk about, besides anything else at all? This is the best soapbox ever because now I can finally call out one of the most blasphemous things I've seen about this whole Cbat thing: that fucking playlist is a LIE. He "posted" a link to the other songs and it's like Usher and shit. Let me be among the (hopefully) many and say that y'all shamed dude with his sex music and he took a long hard look at it and was like "oh shit they're gonna make fun of me more. I gotta spice it up and make it more human." Then he looks up a top 40 and is like okay gotta toss on some old classics so people don't think I'm different, I'm one of them. Usher. Before/after Cbat does not make sense. Use your brain people. Have you ever heard someone listen to like weird trance shit and then all of a sudden go, hey I'd like to hear what Ursher baby is doing. If you're gonna lie, keep Usher out of it. The rest of the playlist was definitely Skrillex and then like whale noises over a trash compactor. Also I just remembered Sean Paul was on that too. I think it was "Get Busy" which confirms further in my mind that this playlist is a lie. I've never heard someone listen to dogma-wave and then just go, hey you know what would sound amazing and continue the vibe? Maybe some Sean Paul or some FUCKING USHER. As you can see I ain't too thrilled about that whole thing. Everyone knows that listening to music during sex is disrespectful to our ancestors who watch from the other side. They used to listen to like 40's War Bond music so TECHNICALLY you should be having sex to that. Stop being so selfish. Also let your partner choose the music, always defer. If they defer back, make them regret it by playing "Pocketful of Sunshine" or anything by Joe Satriani. With a 3/4 time signature, no one will ejaculate and you'll last pretty much forever. I'd say thank me later, but it definitely works so you can go ahead and thank me now. Looking for where to thank me? LOOK NO FURTHER than this baller ass linktree thing, it has all of our deets! And if it doesn't work then complain on Twitter @PodHigher and like a couple Tik Toks or something cause a lot more are coming soon. Thanks for hanging with us, we'll see you next time! Oh right this is a combined course, we ran low on money. These credits won't do anything anyways, but yeah. https://linktr.ee/podhighereducation --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

4cr/1hr: It is time for us as a society to admit our shortcomings and move towards healing, and Higher Education is here to break the glass: The J Balvin Meal at McDonald's made no sense. It wasn't like he was roaming the streets and just one-shotting Oreo McFlurries, scarfing down a bilayered burger with sauce a bit too opaque to be trusted fully. That's why I get the Quarter Pounder, because opaque off-white shows up better in ketchup than secret sauce. Anyways we made our own meals so that you can be like us, which is something that all people should inspire to do. Yeah, I know what you're thinking: that's an outlandish claim. You're right, and I'm still gonna make it. We have a Tik Tok now, where you can see us in action, and by action I mean huddled around our work desks over webcam. The fun part is that not all of our content gets used, so keep your eyes on the birdie for some primo content. Follow us @pod_highereducation and send us funny videos or e-thots. All e-thots welcome, always. Also follow us on Twitter and Twitch @podhigher for more hijinks and moral instability. Thanks for chilling with us, we'll see you next time! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

4cr/1hr: Man, I totally forgot to post this episode last week. Or was it two weeks ago? Oh man, I really can't remember anymore. I ended up buying this game on sale and I haven't been sleeping and shit, it's been crazy. The game isn't even that fun... You know what game is fun though? M U L T I V E R S U S baby that shit is that new flame get it while it's here cause I'm thinking some crazy things are planned for the future of that game. Wait until they put my boys Sam and Dean Winchester in Multiversus, I'm going to start banishing Shaggies with the Colt. WB has a lot of licenses and a lot of ways to make some wild characters appear in games, like... Arya Stark??? I mean I woulda done Jon or Daenarys personally cause that just makes sense but hey, if you want my help pay me. Sean's back from his trip in a very Carmen San Diego manner, so get to know what our resident fuckboy does on mental leave from the podcast. I mean I didn't approve the vacation or anything but I'm not even gonna bring it up, I coulda swore I heard someone say 'mutiny' in the break room last week. I've been hiding in the basement since. Either way, you can always find all of us on Twitter @PodHigher, and we've got some great streams coming up and some even bigger content dropping soon! Maybe a couple new platforms as well, so stay tuned and we'll find that out together! See y'all next time! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

4cr/1hr: Sometimes movies are boned from the jump. Like when the main character is a little too sexy, or the new lead comes out and says some wild shit about 5G. I mean, people aren't meant to experience that much data flow at once. My internet loads these pages pretty fast already, how much faster could it get? See, we trusted those cable companies that were like hey check out this fiber optic shit. I still don't know what fiber optics are, but I will be making fun of them despite that fact unless 6G comes out and just like uses hair or some shit. That's what they want, to make us like James Cameron's Avatar so that we could tangle our hair together with others in some weird uncomfortable sex scene. Also, if they have sex through the hair then why do they still get pregnant normally? Doesn't that like, not make sense? You're sitting here and telling me that the ejaculate travels ALL THE WAY from HAIR TO STOMACH, with guaranteed survival? They clearly did not think enough about that part. Either way, this episode is a glance (or lack thereof) into the mind of genius casting in the face of certain destruction. Hollywood needs to hit me up so I can pop out some bangers and show these dinosaurs how society moves forward. No more The Irishman type new shit, or at least a little less. DEFINITELY less Elvis movie, or at least a little more true to the character. I still laugh in the trailer when they try to do that whole "Elvis's best friend was Black so I don't see the problem here." Shoulda casted Mel Gibson or something, it would have felt more on-brand. Let us know the genius behind your casting ideas on Twitter @PodHigher and get the conversation started on the next biggest project: Tom Cruise is... CONFUCIUS. May 2023. See y'all next time! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app