Lessons in Love

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Welcome to the LESSONS IN LOVE podcast! You are invited into some very special conversations designed specifically to help you become the leader of your own love life. Through my own experiences and other people’s inspiring lessons, I am showing you that we can change & break free from toxic patterns in love. This podcast is going to connect you with real people who experience real struggles in love. Take these lessons, and you can initiate the kind of love you keep saying you want. A lesson in love is life’s way of nudging you in a new direction, telling you there is something far greater out there waiting for you. Inside this podcast, you are going to hear what has shaped successful love stories & healed heartbreak. You are going to see, you are not alone. So go ahead and subscribe! Come and get to know me more on Instagram @carly.ann_ or head to www.carly-ann.co.uk for freebies and community!

Carly Ann


    • Jun 1, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • weekdays NEW EPISODES
    • 26m AVG DURATION
    • 212 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Lessons in Love

    Anxious Attachment: Why You Keep Asking the Same Questions & Seeking Reassurance (+ Why it Doesn't Work)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 1, 2025 13:56


    Send us a textStruggling with anxious attachment? Always asking “Do you still love me?” or “Are you sure you're not leaving?” even when you know the answer won't help for long? In this episode, Carly Ann unpacks why anxious attachers seek constant reassurance, how it keeps you stuck in a loop, and why your nervous system never quite feels safe. If you're stuck overthinking, spiralling after silence, or chasing reassurance through asking non-stop questions, this one is for youOther useful links: FREE BREAKING THE CYCLE OF ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT WORKSHOP FREE ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT BUNDLE Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    The Anxious / Disorganised Attachment Trap: Stuck, Lost & Unsure How to Change

    Play Episode Listen Later May 28, 2025 10:35


    Send us a textWATCH THE FREE WORKSHOPJOIN STUCK TO SECURE BEFORE JUNE 1STEverything seems fine… but you still feel stuck or lost? Or maybe you know you've fallen into that pattern again - the overthinking, obsessing, clinging, second-guessing, unsure how to get out.This episode is for the anxious attachers who keep finding themselves here: things look okay on the outside, but inside it's the same fog, the same fear, the same cycle. Or you cant seem to stop yourself falling into old, painful cycles.You've had enough!Carly Ann explores feeling stuck and lost with you, what keeps it going, and how to start breaking free - today!Other useful links: FREE BREAKING THE CYCLE OF ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT WORKSHOP FREE ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT BUNDLE Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    When You Think You're Being Abandoned & You Become Someone You Don't Even Recognise | ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT

    Play Episode Listen Later May 25, 2025 14:00


    Send us a textWATCH THE FREE WORKSHOPJOIN STUCK TO SECURE BEFORE JUNE 1STStruggling with feeling panicky or desperate when you think someone you love is pulling away? Do you find yourself turning into a version of yourself you barely recognise - anxious, overwhelmed, even irrational…whenever you fear abandonment or rejection? If you're tired of the emotional rollercoaster with avoidants or feeling stuck in cycles of panic and overthinking, this episode is made for you.Join me as we unpack what's really happening beneath the surface of anxious attachment, why your panic feels so overwhelming, and, most importantly, how you can start reclaiming your calm and grounded self, even if you don't believe it's possible!If you want to finally stop letting fear control your relationships and start coming home to yourself, hit play now. Other useful links: FREE BREAKING THE CYCLE OF ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT WORKSHOP FREE ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT BUNDLE Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    Struggling with Self-Worth and Relationship Anxiety? These Two Behaviours Only Make it Worse!

    Play Episode Listen Later May 21, 2025 18:03


    Send us a textWATCH THE FREE WORKSHOPJOIN STUCK TO SECURE BEFORE JUNE 1STStruggling with relationship anxiety/anxious attachment? Feeling like you are struggling with self-worth and showing up as your true self? Today, I am sharing 2 common patterns that actually keep you stuck in a cycle of insecurity, fear of rejection, and low self esteem.If you're ready to get out of the anxious cycle and build your self worth - this episode makes it clear how you can start today!Other useful links: FREE BREAKING THE CYCLE OF ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT WORKSHOP FREE ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT BUNDLE Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    (WORKSHOP): Break Your Anxious Attachment Cycle Today

    Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2025 56:34


    Send us a textEXAMPLE ANXIOUS CYCLEWATCH THE WORKSHOPJOIN STUCK TO SECUREDOCUMENT WITH TOOLS TO INTERRUPT THE CYCLEIf you know you're stuck in an anxious cycle, like overthinking, chasing, second-guessing, or feeling like you just can't relax in love, this episode is your lifeline.In this free workshop, I'll guide you through powerful and practical steps to break the cycle you're in right now. It doesn't matter if you're single, dating, in a situationship, or in a relationship that leaves you feeling unsure.Grab a pen and paper, or simply follow along in your mind. This isn't just something to listen to. It's a hands-on experience to help you get clear on your patterns, understand what's really going on underneath, and shift how you respond to your triggers.Expect reflection, real talk, and gentle prompts that go straight to the heart.You don't have to stay stuck in anxious attachment. Let this be the moment things start to change.Other useful links: FREE BREAKING THE CYCLE OF ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT WORKSHOP FREE ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT BUNDLE Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    Anxious Attachment? Then This One Question Matters Most (Especially if You're Healing)

    Play Episode Listen Later May 10, 2025 9:43


    Send us a textFREE BREAKING THE CYCLE OF ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT WORKSHOPIf you have an anxious attachment style and you're doing the work, trying to heal, build self-worth, and stop losing yourself in relationships, there's a question you need to be asking.In this episode, I bring that question to the table. It's the kind of conversation most anxious attachers skip over, but without it, the healing can only go so far.If you're still getting triggered, still chasing reassurance, or still forgetting who you are in love, this episode is a must-listen.Other useful links: FREE BREAKING THE CYCLE OF ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT WORKSHOP FREE ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT BUNDLE Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    When You're Scared You've Messed Up & Anxious Attachment Has Ruined Everything

    Play Episode Listen Later May 7, 2025 13:35


    Send us a textFREE BREAKING THE CYCLE OF ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT WORKSHOPIf you're feeling like you've messed it all up… again, like you're back at square one, stuck in the same old anxious attachment spiral than this episode is for you. Maybe you've texted when you said you wouldn't. Maybe you're beating yourself up for caring too much (again). Maybe your mind is screaming: “Why am I like this?!”Before you disappear into shame or start rewriting the story that you're too much, too needy, or never going to change, listen to me in this ep.Carly Ann shares the one thing you need to hear in this moment. It's the thing that will help you soften the spiral, reconnect with yourself, and start moving forward again (without pretending it doesn't hurt). It's not a quick fix.. but it is a powerful shift, and will certainly help you get back on track.If you've ever searched:  “Why do I always ruin relationships?”  “I feel like I've messed up again”  “Why do I keep going back?”  “How to stop being so needy”…this episode is for you.Other useful links: FREE BREAKING THE CYCLE OF ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT WORKSHOP FREE ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT BUNDLE Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    Common Anxious Attachment Triggers that Set You Off into Worry, Overthinking, & Acting Out

    Play Episode Listen Later May 4, 2025 19:41


    Send us a textFREE BREAKING THE CYCLE OF ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT WORKSHOPFeeling triggered in love, dating, and relationships? Constantly worrying, acting out, and obsessing? This episode is for anyone with anxious attachment who finds themselves overreacting, spiralling, or shutting down. Learn the most common attachment triggers and even get some bonus tips on how to manage them.Perfect for anyone healing anxious attachment, exploring their reactions, and ready to feel more secure in relationships.

    When Healing You Anxious Attachment Feels Like It's Not Working (You're Stuck in a Cycle & at Rock Bottomg)

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 30, 2025 10:29


    Send us a textRegister for the free workshop: Breaking the Cycle of Anxious AttachmentYou've been working hard to heal your anxious and/or disorganised attachment and right now you just feel like nothing is working? All the tools, the therapy, the journaling - none of it seems to be helping, and you're right back where you started? This episode is for you.Whether you're feeling a heavy dip right now, stuck in a familiar loop, or questioning if healing is even possible for you, this episode is going to give you what you need right now.  Carly Ann speaks from both professional and personal experience, plus shares expert insight about what these "stuck" moments really mean, and what to do when your attachment wounds flare up despite all the work you've done.If your inner critic is loud right now, if you're caught in anxious spirals or shut down, tune in. This is for your healing heart.Other useful links: FREE BREAKING THE CYCLE OF ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT WORKSHOP FREE ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT BUNDLE Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    Motivation for Anxious Attachment. Listen When You're Triggered, Overthinking, & Feeling Like You're Not Enough

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 24, 2025 9:33


    Send us a textAnxious Attachment is often maintained by low self-worth..If you've ever felt like you're not good enough in love, dating, & relationships  (especially when they pull away or act cold), this episode is 100% for you.In this raw and honest moment, Carly Ann speaks straight from here heart to anyway that has anxious attachment, low self-worth, and knows the pain of being caught in a cycle you just want to break!Listen when you're feeling low, hurt, triggered, or just stuck in that familiar spiral of overthinking and self-blame. Or even when you just need a motivational boost. This one's here to remind you, it's not you, it's the pattern...and guess what? it can change.Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym (Doors OPEN) Becoming Secure (Starting Summer 2025) FREE ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT BUNDLE Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    Ghosting! This is Why People Ghost Instead of Speaking with You

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 19, 2025 9:44


    Send us a textWhy do people ghost? If you have anxious attachment, being ghosted can feel devastating..like rejection, confusion, and obsession all rolled into one.In this episode, Carly Ann is diving into the reasons that different people ghost.If you have recently been ghosted, I hope this gives you some clarity around what is going on.Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym (Doors OPEN) Becoming Secure (Starting Summer 2025) FREE ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT BUNDLE Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    What Is Self-Soothing? A Must-Listen for the Anxiously Attached

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 13, 2025 13:24


    Send us a textIf you've ever found yourself obsessing over a message or an ex, worrying they've lost interest, or feeling completely triggered by distance or mixed signals...this episode is for you. Whether you're in a situationship, dating an avoidant, or constantly battling your own anxious attachment style, you've probably heard the advice: just self-soothe. But what does that actually mean?This episode is your go-to if you've been confused about what self-soothing really looks like when your anxious attachment is in overdrive, your thoughts are spiralling, and all you want is reassurance.Hit play if you're tired of being stuck in anxious spirals and ready to learn what it means to self-sootheOther useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym (Doors OPEN) Becoming Secure (Starting Summer 2025) FREE ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT BUNDLE Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    TWO CBT Tools to Help with Worry & Uncertainty Around Your Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 6, 2025 13:45


    Send us a textIf you find yourself constantly worrying...Why haven't they texted back? Did I say something wrong? Are they losing interest? this episode of Lessons in Attachment is for you. When you have an anxious attachment style, waiting and overthinking can take over your whole day. In this episode,Carly Ann is sharing two powerful CBT-based tools to help you cope with uncertainty and worry!You'll hear real-life examples (including my own!) and learn how to gently shift out of panic mode, no matter what someone else is doing. Whether you're dating, in a situationship, or navigating your own healing, these simple steps will help you feel more secure, grounded, and in control. DOWNLOAD PDFOther useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym (Doors OPEN) Becoming Secure (Starting Feb 2025) FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    This is How They Really Feel About Ghosting You

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 29, 2025 9:32


    Send us a textHave you been ghosted? Ghosting is one of the most painful and confusing ways to be left behind, but do ghosters actually feel anything?In this episode, Carly Ann dive into a fascinating study by Freedman et al (2022) to uncover what's really going on in the minds of ghosters. Do they feel guilty? Do they regret it? Or do they just move on without a second thought? Spoiler: It's not as simple as you might think.Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym (Doors OPEN) Becoming Secure (Starting Feb 2025) FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    Obsessed and Overthinking? Here are 3 Signs of Limerence You Need to Know

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 23, 2025 9:15


    Send us a textDo you ever feel crazy? like your thoughts are spinning out of control over someone? That intense, obsessive longing where every little thing they do feels like a sign? You might be experiencing limerence. It's more than just a crush - it's an all-consuming obsession that can feel like an addiction to this person. It feels crazy - but I assure you you're notIn this episode Carly Ann give 3 major signs of limerence, how it differs from real love, and how people are healing. If you've ever felt stuck in a cycle of longing and obsession, this one's for youOther useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym (Doors OPEN) Becoming Secure (Starting Feb 2025) FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    The Real Reason Your Breakup Feels Worse, Your Heartbreak Is Intense, and You Feel Stuck Compared to Others

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 19, 2025 9:22


    Send us a textIf you're going through a breakup right now, you already know how painful it is. But have you ever wondered why some breakups feel so much worse than others? Why, for some people, the pain feels overwhelming, like it's impossible to move on?Well, research suggests there's a reason for that. And in today's episode, we're breaking down exactly what makes a breakup feel so unbearable for some people, and what you can do to start feeling better.Stick with me, because by the end of this episode, you'll have a whole new perspective on your breakup and the tools to move forward.Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym (Doors OPEN) Becoming Secure (Starting Feb 2025) FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    Going Through a Break-Up? Want Your Ex Back? or Struggling to Feel OK? - Listen to this Advice from a Break-Up Coach

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 15, 2025 49:06


    Send us a textIn this episode of Lessons in Attachment, we're joined once again by breakup coach Holly from Break Ups and Love  to dive even deeper into the challenges of heartbreak and healing. If you missed her first episode on May 26, 2024, scroll back to listen - it's packed with insights on navigating breakups.This time, we're covering some really helpful and interesting topics to support your healing:  The urge to get your ex back  Feeling like you can't cope  The non-negotiables for healing  Managing overwhelming emotions  Tarot for breakups  Dealing with triggers and remindersOther useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym (Doors OPEN) Becoming Secure (Starting Feb 2025) FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    Inner Child Work for Healing Childhood Trauma & Attachment Wounds (3 Keys)

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 12, 2025 17:19


    Send us a textHealing your attachment wounds and childhood trauma starts with reconnecting with a very important part of you - your inner child. In this powerful episode, we dive into why inner child work is the key to true healing.Our brilliant guest expert shares three essential keys for practicing inner child work in a way that creates real change and healing. Whether you sare recovering from attachment wounds and/or trauma, this conversation will help you nurture the parts of you that need love, safety, and connection.Stay tuned! Carly Ann shares an exclusive clip from a recent mini-workshop inside the Attachment Recovery Gym, giving you practical tools to start your journey today.Get ready to reconnect with your inner child!Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym (Doors OPEN) Becoming Secure (Starting Feb 2025) FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    Breaking Free from Jealousy: Healing Your Wounds & Inner Child

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 8, 2025 20:18


    Send us a textDo you have an anxious or disorganised attachment style? If you've ever felt that gut-wrenching fear that your partner might leave, that sinking feeling when someone else gets too close, or the endless overthinking that keeps you up at night... I'm sure you know exactly how all consuming jealousy can be!In this episode, Carly Ann is diving deep into the jealousy through the lens of attachment theory, inner child healing, and reparenting. We're unpacking why it feels so all-consuming, how it ties to your past, and most importantly - how you can start to break free from its grip.DOWNLOAD PDF FOR THIS EPISODE HERE Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym (Doors OPEN) Becoming Secure (Starting Feb 2025) FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    Motivation for When You're Feeling Stuck in Victim Mentality & Getting Triggered by the Small Things in Life

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2025 6:59


    Send us a textIf you feel like life is against you, like nothing ever goes right and you're stuck in a cycle of frustration...this 7-minute episode is exactly what you need. When big/small, daily challenges pile up, it's easy to slip into a victim mindset, but staying there only keeps you stuck and creates so much pain and negative energy. This episode will help you shift your perspective, break free from resistance, and start seeing setbacks as stepping stones. What if life isn't out to get you? But instead it's guiding you?Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym (Doors OPEN) Becoming Secure (Starting Feb 2025) FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    The Art of Letting Go: How to Detach, Accept, and Stop Obsessive Overthinking

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 23, 2025 30:47


    Send us a textStruggling to let go? Whether you're anxiously attached to a person, an outcome, or the way you thought life should be by now - this episode is for you.When you're constantly waiting for reassurance, obsessing over what might happen, or clinging to control, it only fuels more anxiety. Feeling secure and peaceful comes from learning to detach.. as you will hear in this episode... that doesn't mean caring less from caring less in fact it's something else entirely.In this episode, Carly Ann explore's:✨ The Law of Detachment✨ Radical Acceptance✨ Retraining Your Attention (a practice to break free from obsessive thinking)This isn't even just about relationships today, it's about how you show up in every part of life. Let's talk about how to stop gripping so hard and start trusting that what's meant for you will find you.Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym (Doors OPEN) Becoming Secure (Starting Feb 2025) FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    Anxious Attachers - Change Your Type! Stop Chasing Avoidants & Start Attracting Secure Love!

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 18, 2025 12:35


    Send us a textThis podcast is for anyone stuck in a cycle of being attracted to unavailable partners and ready to make a change. If you want to start attracting secure, available types then you need to hear this!Join Carly Ann for practical steps, mindset shifts, and real-talk on how to start choosing secure, healthy love. No overanalyzing - just how you can change your type for good. Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym (Doors OPEN) Becoming Secure (Starting Feb 2025) FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    Key Psychology Techniques for Healing Anxious Attachment (Becoming Secure)

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 16, 2025 42:15


    Send us a textDo you have an anxious attachment style? Are you doing the work to heal attachment wounds but keep repeating patterns?In this episode, Carly Ann dives into key psychological techniques that can help break free from the anxious attachment drama cycle and create real, lasting change. If you've ever felt stuck in overthinking, emotional highs and lows, or unhealthy relationship patterns, this episode is for you. Carly Ann shares how these tools can help you regain control, build secure attachment, and experience love in a way that feels safe. DOWNLOAD the PDF FOR THIS EP (15)Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym (Doors OPEN) Becoming Secure (Starting Feb 2025) FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    Break Free from Your Inner Critic: Two Powerful Steps to Reparent the Voice That Holds You Back & Finally Claim the Self-Love You Deserve

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 12, 2025 10:37


    Send us a textIs your inner critic running your mood? Be honest, has it been running the show for too long? Usually the inner critic is loud, especially if you have an anxious attachment style. In this episode, Carly Ann explores how this harsh inner voice keeps you stuck, settling for less than you deserve, and holding back from true happiness. She shares a simple but powerful two-step process to start shifting the way you speak to yourself this week, so you can begin reparenting yourself and building a healthier, more loving relationship with you. It really is the time to break free from self-criticism and discover your most compassionate self.  You've always deserved this and it is important if your serious about becoming secure. Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym (Doors OPEN) Becoming Secure (Starting Feb 2025) FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    The Anxious Attachment Drama Cycle - This is the Classic Pattern that QUICKLY Ruins Relationships & Dating

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 8, 2025 21:48


    Send us a textDo you have an anxious or disorganised attachment style?So, you know that moment when your stomach drops because they took too long to text back? Or when you convince yourself they're losing interest, even if nothing has actually happened? And then, before you know it, you're overthinking, checking their socials, or panicking about being left?That's the anxious attachment drama cycle...and it's exhausting.In this episode, Carly Ann walks you through 7 key steps of this attachment cycleso you can see exactly where you recognise yourself and where real change can happen. Because if you want to heal anxious attachment and become securely attached, you have to recognise this pattern first.It's not about blaming yourself (ever) it's about finally understanding your attachment triggers, breaking free from relationship anxiety, and learning how to feel safe in love.

    Living with Anxious Attachment: Needs, Triggers, & The Best Techniques

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 5, 2025 54:30


    Send us a textIn this episode, I'm joined by Frankie Olivia (@Frankiestherapy), a trauma-responsive creative psychotherapist and EMDR psychotherapist, to discuss living with and healing anxious attachment.We explore:✨ Understanding needs & unmet needs✨ Separation anxiety and why it feels so intense✨ The first thing to do when you notice you're triggered✨ Techniques to regulate your nervous system✨ How progress and healing can feel slow✨ Navigating guilt in the healing processDiscussed in this episode:- 54321 Technique- Podcast epsiode on Polyvagal Theory is dated 20th March 2022If you're on a journey to becoming more secure, this episode is packed with insights and tools to support youOther useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym (Doors OPEN) Becoming Secure (Starting Feb 2025) FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    STOP Losing Yourself in Relationships Using This One Principle

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 2, 2025 26:11


    Send us a textIf you always lose yourself in love, put everyone else first, and feel like your happiness depends on someone else...this one is definitely for you today. Carly Ann gives you a key principle from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) that will help you stop abandoning yourself in relationships, dating, and even situationships with unavailable partners. This goes beyond just love...because when you keep sacrificing yourself to make others stay, it affects your confidence, mental health, and ability to feel secure in your own skin. It's time to break free from the cycle of overthinking, people-pleasing, and making someone else your entire world.  No matter your relationship status, this is about you. Your self-worth doesn't come from how much someone loves you or whether they choose you, it comes from within. Carly Ann is here to help you reconnect with who you really are, so you can build relationships without losing yourself. You deserve to feel whole, confident, and free - whether you're single, dating, or deep in love. DOWNLOAD FREE PDF (13) HEREOther useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym (Doors OPEN) Becoming Secure (Starting Feb 2025) FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    From Self-Criticism to Self-Compassion - Where are You on Your Healing Journey?!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 29, 2025 13:21


    Send us a textHave an anxious attachment?If you're stuck in patterns of overthinking, self-doubt, and craving reassurance in love, relationships & dating... your inner critic might be running the show. That harsh voice keeping you small, making you question your worth, and pushing you into relationships where you give more than you get...it's exhausting and you've probably had enough!In this episode, Carly Ann is bringing you a favourite idea that helped her on her own journey to becoming secure. Hopefully this will also help you recognise how your inner critic is holding you back and, more importantly, how to take a simple step towards self-compassion and secure attachment. She'll walk you through the three stages of self-love so you can start to break free from toxic patterns and finally believe you are enough.If you're tired of being mean to yourself and ready to change the way you see yourself, this episode is for you. Tune in nowOther useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym (Doors OPEN) Becoming Secure (Starting Feb 2025) FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    Break Free from the Cycle of Worry and "What Ifs" - Use These Practical Techniques Today!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 26, 2025 24:41


    Send us a textDOWNLOAD YOUR ACCMPANYING PDF (DOC 12)Do you feel trapped in endless “what if” thoughts, especially in relationships? For anxious attachers, uncertainty can feel unbearable, fueling overthinking and constant worry.In this episode, Carly Ann will explore why uncertainty triggers anxiety and share practical tips to help you break the cycle. Learn how to sit with the unknown, challenge anxious thoughts, and regain control in relationships. If you're ready to stop overthinking and start feeling more secure, this episode is for you.Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym (Doors OPEN) Becoming Secure (Starting Feb 2025) FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    Trying to Go No Contact? Answer These 3 Questions When it's Hard & You Want to Give In

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 22, 2025 4:58


    Send us a textGoing no contact? Are you feeling torn, uncertain, or even panicky about breaking no contact? As an anxious attacher, it's easy to feel consumed by the urge to reach out, even when part of you isn't sure it's the right thing to do. In this episode, I'm sharing three powerful questions that will help you connect with what you're really feeling and give you the clarity and guidance you need in this challenging moment. Whether you're stuck in overthinking or overwhelmed by emotions, this episode is here to support you.Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym (Doors OPEN) Becoming Secure (Starting Feb 2025) FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram

    Obsessing & Overthinking? This Mindset Shift Helps People Take Back Control of Their Own Thoughts

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 19, 2025 28:04


    Send us a textDOWNLOAD YOUR ACCMPANYING PDF (DOC 11)Anxious attachment can keep you stuck in obssessing, overthinking and self-doubt. In this episode Carly Ann shares how to shift your perspective on your thoughts so you can approach relationships with confidence, calm, and reduced reactivity.Discover how to zoom out and step back from overwhelming thoughts to create space to respond - helping you build stronger, more secure connections.Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram Book a Call

    How Journaling and Tapping Help You Process Emotions, Navigate Triggers, & Heal

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 15, 2025 18:59


    Send us a textIn this episode of Lessons in Attachment, I'm sharing a sneak peek from the Attachment Recovery Gym with guest expert Holly, also known as Breakups and Love. Holly, an accredited EFT International practitioner combining EFT tapping & journaling to help with stress and life's challenges.You'll hear why these tools are so powerful and how they can support your healing journey. Plus, I share an inspiring moment about savouring positivity to transform attachment patterns...and you'll be encouraged to focus on your word of the year or month!Don't forget to join the Attachment Recovery Gym for access to workshops like this and more tools to move toward secure attachment!Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram Book a Call

    3 Things You Do That Makes Anxiety Worse When You Think They're Pulling Away...& Techniques to Soothe in the Moment

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 12, 2025 27:34


    Send us a textDownload PDF for Accompanying this Ep (10)Do you have an anxious attachment style? Do you feel panicked when it seems like someone you care about is pulling away? Maybe you start overthinking their messages, checking your phone non-stop, or reacting in ways you wish you hadn't. You're not alone, and there's a way through it.In this episode, Carly Ann dives into the 3 things anxious attachers often do that actually make things worse—and how you can calm yourself instead. She breaks down why these habits feel so hard to stop and shares simple steps to soothe your emotions in the moment.Whether you're dating, in a relationship, or just working on yourself, this episode will help you feel more secure and in control when anxiety strikes.Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram Book a Call

    Lost Motivation and Hope in Your Healing? This Exercise Will Help You Believe in Change Again

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 8, 2025 14:44


    Send us a textHave you ever felt like change is impossible? Like no matter how hard you try, you keep slipping back into the same patterns? If you're on a healing journey with anxious attachment, you've likely experienced moments of doubt, frustration, and even hopelessness. In this episode, Carly Ann offers a powerful exercise to help you rebuild your belief in yourself and your ability to change.Whether you're feeling stuck or just need a little motivation to keep going, this episode will remind you that change is possible for you. Carly Ann shares practical steps to restore your hope, get re-inspired, and reignite your journey toward becoming more secure in love and life.If you need to move past self-doubt and reconnect with your healing... this one's for you.Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym - Don't Miss the December Offer!! FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram Book a Call

    Secure Attachment Starts Here: Let Go of These Anxious Patterns

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 5, 2025 11:49


    Send us a textDo you find yourself overthinking every little thing in your relationships? Like making up reasons to text them, holding back your true thoughts, or even pretending you're totally fine when deep down, you're not?Maybe you've noticed you're moulding yourself into what you think they want or making excuses for behaviour you know isn't OK. Sound familiar?In this episode, Carly Ann is getting into the habits that keep you stuck in anxiety and insecure attachment. If you're tired of losing yourself in relationships, holding back your needs, or feeling like you're never fully seen, this one's for you.It's time to break free from these patterns and start showing up as the secure, confident version of yourself you're meant to be.Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym - Don't Miss the December Offer!! FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram Book a Call

    Design Your Future: Use These Goal-Setting Techniques to Make 2025 Your Best Year

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 28, 2024 15:46


    Send us a textAs we step into a brand new year, it's time to focus on how to create the life you truly desire. In today's episode, I dive deep into practical goal-setting techniques that will help you design your dream 2025. Whether you're looking to transform your career, relationships, or personal development, I am giving practical steps to align your goals with what's important to you. Using mindset shifts, intentional planning, and powerful strategies, you'll learn how to set goals that not only motivate but also inspire lasting change. Ready to create the 2025 you deserve? Tune in for insights that will help you make this year your most fulfilling yet.Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym - Don't Miss the December Offer!! FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram Book a Call

    Affirmations to Feel Secure, Set Boundaries, & Regulate Your Emotions (At Christmas)

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 25, 2024 6:03


    Send us a textIn this special episode, I'm bringing you affirmations designed to support you through the holiday season and beyond. Living with anxiety can make boundaries, self-love, and emotional security feel like constant battle but today, we're flipping the script.These affirmations are here to help you reclaim your power, set boundaries that protect your peace, and nurture the secure version of yourself you're striving to become. Whether you're navigating tricky family dynamics, reinforcing your sense of worth, or dreaming of a more confident you, this episode is your go-to guide for feeling grounded and self-assured.And don't forget: for just a few more days, you can join The Attachment Recovery Gym for a special December deal of £199 for a full year's access. It's your chance to get all the tools, resources, and support you need to heal and grow in 2025. Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym - Don't Miss the December Offer!! FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram Book a Call

    Why They Pull Away: The Truth About Avoidants You Need to Know! And What You Can Do as An Anxious Attacher

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 22, 2024 8:34


    Send us a textHave you ever felt that gut-wrenching moment when someone you care about pulls away? You're left questioning everything from what you did wrong, why this always seems to happen, and if it's somehow all your fault. But what if the reason had nothing to do with you?In this episode, I dive deep into why people suddenly withdraw and what you can do to protect yourself as the anxious attacher. You'll learn how their early experiences shaped their patterns and why their self-protection mechanisms kick in.Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym - Don't Miss the December Offer!! FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram Book a Call

    The One Episode Every Anxious Attacher Needs to Hear When Your Partner Doesn't Get Your Anxiety

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 18, 2024 9:42


    Send us a textDo you ever feel like your anxious attachment is just too much for others to handle? Maybe you've been in situations where you needed support, but the person you turned to couldn't quite meet your needs. This can trigger big emotions, anger, or feelings of rejection, leaving you wondering why they don't understand what you're going through.In this episode, I dive into what it feels like to be met with misunderstanding as an anxious attacher and explore how to navigate those moments. You'll learn why others might struggle to get your needs and how to approach these situations with compassion.Whether you're looking to improve communication with your partner, manage your expectations, or find ways to self-soothe when support isn't there, this episode offers practical insights to help you handle those overwhelming moments.If you've ever felt unseen, unheard, or frustrated in your relationships, tune in to learn how to better navigate your anxious attachment and build stronger connections.Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym - Don't Miss the December Offer!! FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram Book a Call

    The Brutal Truth About Anxious Attachment and Unrealistic Expectations

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 15, 2024 15:32


    Send us a textAre your expectations in love setting you up for heartbreak? If you identify as an anxious attacher, your ideas about love and relationships might not be as "normal" as you think. This episode isn't about dismissing what you deserve, it's about redefining realistic expectations in relationships.From craving constant reassurance to feeling like you should always be someone's top priority, these expectations can keep you trapped in a cycle of overthinking, disappointment, and emotional overwhelm. But what if your experience of love isn't a reflection of reality? What if it's a reflection of your attachment style?Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym - Don't Miss the December Offer!! FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram Book a Call

    How to Stop Obsessing Over Your Ex and Finally Move On

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 11, 2024 8:45


    Send us a textAre you stuck in a cycle of overthinking, replaying every moment, and wondering what you could've done differently? In this episode, we're diving into the heartache of obsessing over an ex and uncovering how to break free from that mental loop. Whether you're fresh out of a breakup or it's been months (even years), those intrusive thoughts can hold you back from healing and moving forward.Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym - Don't Miss the December Offer!! FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram Book a Call

    3 Anxious Ways You're Overthinking the Future (For Anxious Attachers)

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 8, 2024 9:43


    Send us a textDo you have an anxious attachment style? When it comes to the future, anxious attachers often fall into patterns of overthinking, fear, and doubt - ones that can feel overwhelming and even hold you back from the life and love you want. In today's episode, we're bringing these patterns into the light, helping you become aware of the ways they might be shaping your thoughts, decisions, and emotions.This is your chance to step back, reflect, and begin noticing when this happens to you. By recognising these habits, you can start to shift towards secure ways of thinking.Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram Book a Call

    Letting Go of Someone Unavailable When You Have Anxious Attachment

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 1, 2024 12:42


    Send us a textIn this episode, we dive deep into the pain of holding onto someone who's made themselves unavailable. Whether it's an ex or someone you have deep feelings for, this episode explores the emotional turmoil of wanting someone who's not emotionally present. If you tend to lean toward anxious attachment, this pain can feel amplified, as it's often accompanied by the belief that you need this person in your life to feel complete or secure.Together, we'll unpack why it's so hard to let go, what to do when you find yourself repeatedly hurt, and how to break free from the cycle of longing. If you're ready to release the grip of someone who's not showing up for you the way you deserve, this episode will give you the tools to start healing, set boundaries, and ultimately open up space for someone who truly meets your needs.Note: There is a December offer on joining The Attachment Recovery Gym. Get 12 months access for only £199Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram Book a Call

    A Quick Note If You're Currently Navigating Anxious Attachment & the Scars of Childhood (You Need to Hear This)

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 26, 2024 8:40


    Send us a textIn this episode of Lessons in Attachment, I'm feeling inspired and to speak to those of you with childhood wounds and unmet needs. Inspired by a juicy session inside the Attachment Recovery Gym, let's discuss the lasting impact of emotionally immature parenting and unmet childhood needs.I share insights from our recent workshop, Heal Your Inner Child for Self-Worth & Healthy Love, where we explored themes of grief, forgiveness, and self-compassion. From navigating feelings of unworthiness to learning how to meet yourself with love today, this episode is here to remind you that you are not alone - and your past doesn't have to define your future.In this episode, I give you reflective prompts to help you reconnect with your authentic self and start showing up in relationships as your true SELF.If this resonates, consider joining the Attachment Recovery Gym to catch the replay and access tools that help you feel less triggered, more worthy, and deeply secure in love.Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram Book a Call

    Why Do I Overreact in Relationships? Understanding Anxious Attachment & BIG Emotions

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 24, 2024 10:27


    Send us a textAre you wondering why anxious attachers have intense reactions that feel out of proportion to the situation? In this episode, we're diving into the psychology behind those big emotions and over-the-top responses. You'll discover how past memories and unresolved core wounds shape your sense of threat, leaving you feeling vulnerable in relationships. We'll also explore how your brain's logical side seems to “go offline” during these triggering moments, making it so hard for you to respond calmly, even though you're trying so hard.Whether you're tired of feeling overwhelmed by your own reactions or want to understand the deeper reasons behind them, this episode will give you the insight to understanding and being more compassionate about your situation - that's when change can really happen!Podcasts:4 times Anxious Triggers Hit HarderFind Instant Relief with This ToolOther useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram Book a Call

    5 Signs You Had Emotionally Immature Parents and How It Impacts Your Relationships Today

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 17, 2024 13:15


    Send us a textDo you ever feel like your relationships are stuck in a frustrating cycle of chasing unavailable and avoidant partners? You might be reliving dynamics you learned as a child. In this episode, we're diving into 5 Signs You Had Emotionally Immature Parents and how those early experiences might be influencing your adult relationships.From unmet emotional needs to the deep-seated urge to "fix" or "earn" love, we're exploring how your upbringing shapes who you chase and why emotionally unavailable partners feel familiar. This is about understanding your story and rewriting it. Let's heal the patterns that keep you stuck so you can stop chasing and start thriving.Tune in for insights, validation, and some practical tips to help you take the first step toward breaking the cycle.Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym FREE WORKSHOP: https://carly-ann.mykajabi.com/anxious-to-secure-free-workshop Follow Carly Ann on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carly.ann_ MORE Freebies: https://www.carly-ann.co.uk/free-workshops-and-downloads

    Common Fears and Worries When You're Apart from Your Person (Anxious Attachment Edition)

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 14, 2024 15:41


    Send us a textIn this episode of Lessons in Attachment, we dive into a common but unspoken challenge for anxious attachers, 'separation anxiety' for adults. While we might think of separation anxiety as something only children experience, actually, it can be a deeply distressing reality for adults with anxious attachment patterns. Whether it's the constant “what if” worries about your partner leaving, fears for their safety, or anxiety about time spent apart, the thoughts  become overwhelming and exhausting.Listen as I unpack some common cognitive patterns that drive adult separation anxiety.If this topic resonates with you, be sure to check out my Attachment Recovery Gym, where you'll find a full bundle designed to help you work through these struggles: from workshops, to affirmations, to somatic practices.Other useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym FREE WORKSHOP: https://carly-ann.mykajabi.com/anxious-to-secure-free-workshop Follow Carly Ann on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carly.ann_ MORE Freebies: https://www.carly-ann.co.uk/free-workshops-and-downloads

    Triggered? Find Instant Relief for Anxious Attachment with This Tool

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 10, 2024 12:53


    Send us a textIn this episode, Carly Ann shares a powerful 5 step-tool designed to help you find calm when anxious attachment leaves you feeling triggered and overwhelmed. If you're someone who struggles with anxious attachment and you have reactive impulses, this tool will guide you to pause, ground yourself, and regain control before taking action you might regret. I walk you through each step of using this technique effectively, sharing insights on how to get the absolute most from it so it becomes second nature in tough moments.Beyond just the tool itself, this episode is packed with golden gems on making self-soothing techniques more effective, tailored of course towards anxious attachers, and real-life ideas to strengthen your secure self. DOWNLOAD SHIFT OR SPIRAL PDFEPISODE: Anxious Attachment or SituationOther useful links: The Attachment Recovery Gym FREE WORKSHOP: https://carly-ann.mykajabi.com/anxious-to-secure-free-workshop Follow Carly Ann on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carly.ann_ MORE Freebies: https://www.carly-ann.co.uk/free-workshops-and-downloads

    Self-Love for Adults with Anxious Attachment - What is it? Why is it Hard? And How You Can Love Yourself More

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 3, 2024 20:08


    Send us a textIn this episode we explore self-love from the perspective of anxious attachment. Over on social media (HERE), Carly Ann has been discussing how to communicate with an avoidant attachment - to do this whilst loving yourself is key.Whether you are single or in a relationship, this episode will provide you with some epic gems to support your healing journey todayThat's why in this episode you will lear:What is Self-LoveWhy people with an anxious attachment struggle to self-love as adultsHow to practice self love using S-E-L-F-L-O-V-E as your guildJoin The Attachment Recovery Gym for exclusive resources, workshops, & experts aimed at healing anxious patternsSubscribe now and join our thriving community of listeners who are on a journey to better relationships, improved self-esteem, and a more fulfilling life. Other useful links: FREE WORKSHOP: https://carly-ann.mykajabi.com/anxious-to-secure-free-workshop Follow Carly Ann on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carly.ann_ Freebies: https://www.carly-ann.co.uk/free-workshops-and-downloads The Attachment Recovery Gym

    5 Mistakes Anxious Attachers Make When Communicating with Avoidant Partners

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 27, 2024 23:23


    Send us a textDo you want to communicate better and more effectively with a dismissive avoidant person? In this episode, Carly Ann discusses 5 common communication challenges faced by anxious attachers when interacting with avoidant partners. These are 5 things that push them away (even though you don't mean to). Understanding these mistakes is essential for improving relationship dynamics and giving the anxious-avoidant dynamic a better shot at connection.Subscribe now and join our thriving community of listeners who are on a journey to better relationships, improved self-esteem, and a more fulfilling life. Links: FREE WORKSHOP: https://carly-ann.mykajabi.com/anxious-to-secure-free-workshop Follow Carly Ann on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carly.ann_ Freebies: https://www.carly-ann.co.uk/free-workshops-and-downloads The Attachment Recovery Gym: https://carly-ann.mykajabi.com/attachment-recovery-gym

    How to Self-Soothe Your Anxious Attachment in the Moment

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 20, 2024 19:19


    Send us a textIn this episode, Carly Ann shares three practical tools to help you calm your anxiety when it feels overwhelming. Whether you're stuck in a cycle of overthinking or feeling emotionally flooded, these self-soothing techniques will guide you to regain control and find some balance when you have lost yourself. Perfect for anxious attachers looking for quick, effective strategies to use in the heat of the moment.Subscribe now and join our thriving community of listeners who are on a journey to better relationships, improved self-esteem, and a more fulfilling life. Links: FREE WORKSHOP: https://carly-ann.mykajabi.com/anxious-to-secure-free-workshop Follow Carly Ann on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carly.ann_ Freebies: https://www.carly-ann.co.uk/free-workshops-and-downloads The Attachment Recovery Gym: https://carly-ann.mykajabi.com/attachment-recovery-gym

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